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1
00:00:12,089 --> 00:00:14,255
(theme music playing)
2
00:00:16,923 --> 00:00:19,506
Let me ask you something.
You happy with your color?
3
00:00:19,589 --> 00:00:22,005
Fuckin' love my color.
Fuckin' mahogany.
4
00:00:22,089 --> 00:00:23,673
-Yeah. You're mahogany.
-Yeah.
5
00:00:23,756 --> 00:00:24,798
Hell, yeah.
6
00:00:24,881 --> 00:00:26,714
-You happy
with your color?
-No.
7
00:00:26,798 --> 00:00:29,255
-Huh? No?
-Ah, well, what is it?
What is it?
8
00:00:29,339 --> 00:00:31,214
You're like
a... a porridge,
9
00:00:31,297 --> 00:00:33,839
a cream of wheat,
a farina, that kind of shit.
10
00:00:33,923 --> 00:00:35,839
-That's what white
people's skin tone is.
-Right.
11
00:00:35,923 --> 00:00:38,005
-It's just different
kinds of hot cereal.
-Right, right.
12
00:00:38,089 --> 00:00:40,297
Black people,
your skin tone's like,
13
00:00:40,381 --> 00:00:42,422
it depends on
the amount of milk
you put in the coffee.
14
00:00:42,506 --> 00:00:44,589
Fuckin' right.
I'm like
a fuckin' Yoo-hoo.
15
00:00:44,673 --> 00:00:47,464
-I shake that motherfucker up.
I'm shakin' it up.
-Yoo-hoo's a good color.
16
00:00:47,547 --> 00:00:49,506
-Fuckin' good color. Shit.
-Yeah, Yoo-hoo's
a really good color.
17
00:00:49,589 --> 00:00:51,547
-Yeah.
-(laughing)
18
00:00:51,631 --> 00:00:52,881
-(clanks)
-What?
19
00:00:52,964 --> 00:00:54,381
There you go.
20
00:00:54,464 --> 00:00:55,714
-(clatters)
-Somewhere between--
21
00:00:55,798 --> 00:00:57,297
-Wait, excuse me?
-What the-- what the fuck?
22
00:00:57,381 --> 00:00:59,255
♪
23
00:01:01,839 --> 00:01:03,798
Hey. Larry.
24
00:01:04,297 --> 00:01:05,923
-Randi. Yeah.
-You got it.
25
00:01:06,005 --> 00:01:08,964
-I'm a friend of Susie's.
-I know, I know, I know.
Yeah.
26
00:01:09,047 --> 00:01:10,255
Happy New Year.
27
00:01:10,339 --> 00:01:11,339
Eh.
28
00:01:11,422 --> 00:01:12,714
It's a little late, frankly,
29
00:01:12,798 --> 00:01:14,214
for the "Happy New Years,"
you know?
30
00:01:14,297 --> 00:01:16,506
Why? It just happened
a couple of weeks ago, right?
31
00:01:16,589 --> 00:01:17,422
Yeah, that's too long.
32
00:01:17,506 --> 00:01:19,214
The statute of limitations
33
00:01:19,297 --> 00:01:21,089
has kind of run out
on the "New Years."
34
00:01:21,172 --> 00:01:23,547
-Three days. Plenty.
-Three days?
35
00:01:23,631 --> 00:01:25,881
By the way,
everything doesn't
have to be happy.
36
00:01:25,964 --> 00:01:27,547
Why does everything
have to be happy?
37
00:01:27,631 --> 00:01:30,339
-I'm having a pretty good day.
-Yeah. Look at you.
38
00:01:30,422 --> 00:01:32,422
-That's, that's huge.
-Yeah, I'm about eight months.
39
00:01:32,506 --> 00:01:35,673
If you need some name tips,
I'm your guy.
40
00:01:35,756 --> 00:01:37,464
-Yeah.
-What would you suggest?
41
00:01:37,547 --> 00:01:39,631
Maybe something, uh,
Swedish, perhaps?
42
00:01:39,714 --> 00:01:41,798
Yeah, I'm... my husband
is African-American,
43
00:01:41,881 --> 00:01:44,506
so I'm not sure that would,
I don't know, gel.
44
00:01:45,089 --> 00:01:47,005
You like saying that,
don't you.
45
00:01:47,089 --> 00:01:49,923
-Do I like saying that
he's African-American?
-Yeah.
46
00:01:50,005 --> 00:01:51,506
I think you wanted me to know.
47
00:01:51,589 --> 00:01:53,255
Does it change your
opinion of me?
48
00:01:53,339 --> 00:01:56,089
In some ways, yes.
In some ways, no.
49
00:01:56,172 --> 00:01:57,464
-Okay.
-All right.
50
00:01:57,547 --> 00:01:59,714
Enjoy your workout.
51
00:02:01,130 --> 00:02:02,839
(beeping)
52
00:02:04,464 --> 00:02:07,631
(beeping continues)
53
00:02:12,547 --> 00:02:14,339
What are you doing?
54
00:02:15,339 --> 00:02:16,464
What?
55
00:02:16,547 --> 00:02:18,756
What's with the--
What's with the jogging?
56
00:02:18,839 --> 00:02:21,172
I'm... I'm working out.
57
00:02:21,255 --> 00:02:23,214
-Working out?
-Yeah.
58
00:02:23,464 --> 00:02:25,923
You, you're jostling
the fetus.
59
00:02:26,547 --> 00:02:28,798
You can't--
You can't run
in your condition.
60
00:02:28,881 --> 00:02:30,673
Uh, yes, I can.
61
00:02:30,756 --> 00:02:32,005
I was advised by my midwife
62
00:02:32,089 --> 00:02:33,631
that I should continue
to work out.
63
00:02:33,714 --> 00:02:35,464
Maybe you want to
consult your blacksmith.
64
00:02:35,547 --> 00:02:37,005
See what he has
to say about it.
65
00:02:37,089 --> 00:02:40,422
Oh, I don't, uh, want
to get into it with you,
but, um...
66
00:02:40,506 --> 00:02:42,964
my fetus, my problem, okay?
67
00:02:43,047 --> 00:02:46,089
-I pity that fetus.
-(machine beeping)
68
00:02:46,172 --> 00:02:48,255
Larry:
Oh, my God.
I can't watch this.
69
00:02:50,047 --> 00:02:53,214
-Happy New Year.
-Yeah, Happy New Year.
70
00:02:57,673 --> 00:02:59,714
(slapping)
71
00:03:04,589 --> 00:03:07,547
-(slapping)
-Hey, hey, hey. Come on.
Come on, man.
72
00:03:07,839 --> 00:03:10,798
-You gotta stay dry.
-You're over-talcing here.
73
00:03:10,881 --> 00:03:12,631
-Ugh!
-Happy New Year.
74
00:03:12,714 --> 00:03:13,839
Yeah, yeah.
75
00:03:13,923 --> 00:03:15,714
-I couldn't even
breathe in there.
-Right.
76
00:03:15,798 --> 00:03:18,714
He was putting talc
under his arm,
77
00:03:18,798 --> 00:03:21,506
-on his balls...
It was disgusting.
-(laughing)
78
00:03:21,589 --> 00:03:24,464
-I mean, who still uses that?
-I use that shit all the time.
79
00:03:24,547 --> 00:03:28,172
-Can't be good for you.
-Not if you're allergic to it.
80
00:03:28,255 --> 00:03:29,923
My Auntie Rey
put some of that shit on her,
81
00:03:30,005 --> 00:03:31,506
and went into
anaphylactic shock.
82
00:03:31,589 --> 00:03:33,923
-Really?
-Yeah. Started shakin' and shit.
Took her to the ER.
83
00:03:34,005 --> 00:03:36,839
-Man, they had to pump
her stomach for nothing.
-That's incredible.
84
00:03:36,923 --> 00:03:38,297
Yeah, man.
85
00:03:38,381 --> 00:03:40,798
-Look at this guy
in the MAGA hat.
-Boy. You don't see...
86
00:03:40,881 --> 00:03:44,047
-You don't see many of those
in LA, do you?
-You fuckin' don't.
87
00:03:44,130 --> 00:03:47,214
Know what I noticed?
No one ever wears
those hats on backwards.
88
00:03:47,297 --> 00:03:49,631
If mean, if you're gonna
get your ass kicked,
you want to see it coming.
89
00:03:49,714 --> 00:03:51,130
-(chuckles)
-I like that.
90
00:03:51,214 --> 00:03:54,130
-Yeah.
-Mocha-- Mocha Joe's
91
00:03:54,214 --> 00:03:55,798
Mocha Joe.
I know a Mocha Joe.
92
00:03:55,881 --> 00:03:57,756
-You want some coffee?
-Sure. Okay.
93
00:03:57,839 --> 00:03:59,422
-Let's go in here.
-Get a little latte.
94
00:03:59,506 --> 00:04:01,297
-Thank you so much.
I appreciate it.
-Thank you.
95
00:04:01,381 --> 00:04:02,547
Have a great day.
96
00:04:02,631 --> 00:04:05,881
-Whoa! Blast from the past.
-Oh, boy, oh, boy.
97
00:04:05,964 --> 00:04:07,631
-Larry David. Wow.
-Mocha Joe!
98
00:04:07,714 --> 00:04:10,005
-Long time, no see, man.
What are you doin' here?
-Hey!
99
00:04:10,089 --> 00:04:11,297
-What's your name?
-Leon.
100
00:04:11,381 --> 00:04:13,214
-Leon. Nice to meet you.
-This is unreal.
101
00:04:13,297 --> 00:04:15,089
Do you believe it? Huh?
What can I get you guys?
102
00:04:15,172 --> 00:04:16,673
I'll get a--
Do you have scones?
103
00:04:16,756 --> 00:04:18,130
Yeah. Right there.
They're beautiful.
104
00:04:18,214 --> 00:04:20,047
Great. I'll have a scone,
and a, uh, cup of coffee.
105
00:04:20,130 --> 00:04:22,673
-Cup of coffee and a scone.
What about you, Leon?
-Let me get a latte.
106
00:04:22,756 --> 00:04:24,964
All right. One scone,
a coffee, a latte.
107
00:04:25,047 --> 00:04:26,547
That's $11.50.
108
00:04:27,005 --> 00:04:28,547
There you go.
Keep the change.
109
00:04:28,631 --> 00:04:30,172
Oh, thanks for the tip.
Appreciate it.
110
00:04:31,381 --> 00:04:34,130
Mocha Joe: A latte
and a coffee, please.
Thank you.
111
00:04:34,214 --> 00:04:35,381
Mm.
112
00:04:36,130 --> 00:04:37,547
It's a little soft.
113
00:04:37,881 --> 00:04:39,464
What, the scone?
114
00:04:39,547 --> 00:04:42,631
Yeah. Scones are
supposed to be hard.
This is like a muffin.
115
00:04:42,714 --> 00:04:46,339
Well, not really.
It's supposed to be fresh.
116
00:04:46,422 --> 00:04:47,881
Yeah, fresh hard.
117
00:04:47,964 --> 00:04:49,756
Well, that's a fresh scone.
118
00:04:49,839 --> 00:04:52,381
I'm not quite sure
you know what a scone is,
Mocha Joe.
119
00:04:52,464 --> 00:04:54,255
-Oh, I know what a scone is.
-Larry: Do you?
120
00:04:54,339 --> 00:04:57,214
-Yeah.
-You may have a looser
definition of scone than I do.
121
00:04:57,297 --> 00:05:00,255
I don't think it's really
open to interpretation,
though.
122
00:05:00,339 --> 00:05:03,005
You want the scone, or not?
123
00:05:03,089 --> 00:05:04,881
Yeah, I'll keep
the scone-slash-muffin.
124
00:05:04,964 --> 00:05:08,005
-So you're gonna
keep the scone?
-Yeah. Muffin. Yeah.
125
00:05:08,089 --> 00:05:09,464
Enjoy the scone, Larry.
126
00:05:09,547 --> 00:05:12,339
-Hey, you got any Danishes?
-Uh, no.
127
00:05:12,923 --> 00:05:14,756
You're fuckin' up.
128
00:05:14,839 --> 00:05:16,839
Mocha Joe:
(sighs) Next.
129
00:05:17,506 --> 00:05:18,964
(sighs)
130
00:05:19,047 --> 00:05:21,255
-Oh, my God.
-(table squeaking)
131
00:05:21,339 --> 00:05:24,047
-Look at this table.
Do you believe it?
-Wow.
132
00:05:24,130 --> 00:05:27,047
-Wow.
-Hey, uh, hey, Mocha Joe.
133
00:05:27,130 --> 00:05:28,464
Mocha Joe:
Yeah?
134
00:05:28,547 --> 00:05:31,130
-Check out this table.
-Yeah?
135
00:05:31,214 --> 00:05:33,464
(chuckles) It's a wobb--
You got a wobbly table, here.
136
00:05:33,547 --> 00:05:34,881
Yeah, well,
stop moving it.
137
00:05:34,964 --> 00:05:38,005
Stop moving it? It's--
Every time I, I, I lean on it,
138
00:05:38,089 --> 00:05:39,798
-it's gonna move.
-Put your foot on it,
like everybody else does.
139
00:05:39,881 --> 00:05:41,714
I'm gonna sit with
my foot on the table?
140
00:05:41,798 --> 00:05:43,714
Yeah, that's how
you hold it down.
The floors are wobbly.
141
00:05:43,798 --> 00:05:46,422
-Mocha Joe, can I give
you a little advice?
-Yeah.
142
00:05:47,130 --> 00:05:48,631
Nobody likes a wobbly table.
143
00:05:48,714 --> 00:05:51,464
Fastest way to lose customers
is wobbly tables.
144
00:05:51,547 --> 00:05:53,339
I got an uncle
with a wobbly leg.
145
00:05:53,422 --> 00:05:55,297
I can't stand that motherfucker.
146
00:05:55,381 --> 00:05:57,297
Leaning on shit all the time.
147
00:05:58,089 --> 00:06:00,172
-Hmm.
-Barista:
Two medium cappuccinos.
148
00:06:00,255 --> 00:06:02,673
(gulps) Aah.
(scoffs)
149
00:06:03,047 --> 00:06:05,297
Larry:
Taste your coffee.
150
00:06:05,756 --> 00:06:07,047
-Cold.
-It's cold.
151
00:06:07,130 --> 00:06:08,089
Hey, man.
152
00:06:08,172 --> 00:06:09,506
-Yeah.
-Larry: Hey, Mocha Joe.
153
00:06:09,589 --> 00:06:11,589
-What?
-(laughs softly)
154
00:06:12,381 --> 00:06:13,839
This is cold coffee.
155
00:06:13,923 --> 00:06:15,547
Whoa, whoa.
Wait a second.
156
00:06:15,631 --> 00:06:17,673
That coffee is not cold.
157
00:06:17,756 --> 00:06:19,339
-Is your coffee cold?
-Your coffee's hot, right?
158
00:06:19,422 --> 00:06:21,172
Look, we don't wanna be
fuckin' haters right now,
159
00:06:21,255 --> 00:06:22,464
but this shit is cold.
160
00:06:22,547 --> 00:06:24,172
Can, can I get a n--
161
00:06:24,255 --> 00:06:26,005
-Can I get a new cup?
-No.
162
00:06:26,089 --> 00:06:27,297
-So you're not gonna
give me a new cup.
-No.
163
00:06:27,381 --> 00:06:29,005
'Cause that's a hot cup
of coffee.
164
00:06:29,089 --> 00:06:30,881
-It was hot when
I gave it to you--
-That's a hot cup of coffee?
165
00:06:30,964 --> 00:06:32,714
It's a hot cup of coffee.
It was hot when
I gave it to you.
166
00:06:32,798 --> 00:06:34,547
Would you stick your nose
in a hot cup of coffee?
167
00:06:34,631 --> 00:06:35,714
Why would you
stick your nose--
168
00:06:35,798 --> 00:06:37,047
Because I want to prove to you
169
00:06:37,130 --> 00:06:39,464
that it's cold coffee.
Watch this.
170
00:06:40,464 --> 00:06:41,881
That's cold coffee.
171
00:06:41,964 --> 00:06:43,381
-That doesn't
prove anything except...
-It does.
172
00:06:43,464 --> 00:06:46,297
...that you're an old,
bald nut!
173
00:06:46,631 --> 00:06:48,172
-What'd you say to me?
-You heard me.
174
00:06:48,255 --> 00:06:50,464
-Now get out,
you old, bald fuck!
-With pleasure!
175
00:06:50,547 --> 00:06:52,798
You think I want to sit here
with a wobbly table,
176
00:06:52,881 --> 00:06:54,506
-and drink cold
black coffee?
-Yeah.
177
00:06:54,589 --> 00:06:56,422
-No, thank you.
-Yeah, good. Get out.
178
00:06:56,506 --> 00:06:59,506
Hey. Larry might be
one or two of those things,
but not all three.
179
00:06:59,589 --> 00:07:01,089
Happy New Year, Larry.
180
00:07:01,172 --> 00:07:03,631
Happy New Year, Mocha Joe!
181
00:07:03,714 --> 00:07:06,214
♪ ♪
182
00:07:13,214 --> 00:07:15,547
(collar jingling)
183
00:07:23,130 --> 00:07:25,923
Alice:
Morning, Larry.
How are you?
184
00:07:26,005 --> 00:07:28,964
-Your dog?
-Bogey!
185
00:07:29,047 --> 00:07:30,422
He's eating out of my bowl.
186
00:07:30,506 --> 00:07:32,673
Oh, I just got that bowl
from the kitchen.
187
00:07:32,756 --> 00:07:34,381
I thought
it was an office bowl.
188
00:07:34,464 --> 00:07:36,005
It's an office bowl for humans.
189
00:07:36,089 --> 00:07:37,255
Not for dogs.
190
00:07:37,339 --> 00:07:39,464
I mean, I wash it
at the end of the day
191
00:07:39,547 --> 00:07:41,589
-with soap,
and then I dry it, and--
-No, that's not enough.
192
00:07:41,673 --> 00:07:44,089
It needs to be sterilized.
I can't, I can't...
193
00:07:44,172 --> 00:07:46,339
share a bowl with a dog.
194
00:07:46,422 --> 00:07:47,798
(chuckles uncomfortably)
195
00:07:47,881 --> 00:07:50,756
-Uh, I've got
some mail for you.
-Ah!
196
00:07:51,255 --> 00:07:55,089
-And there's some other stuff.
-Wait a second. Wait a second.
197
00:07:55,714 --> 00:07:56,964
-Look at this.
-Yeah.
198
00:07:57,047 --> 00:07:58,631
-Is that new?
-Relatively.
199
00:07:58,714 --> 00:08:01,714
All right, what--
What the hell is that?
Why is one eye closed?
200
00:08:01,798 --> 00:08:03,047
Huh? What is all that?
201
00:08:03,130 --> 00:08:05,130
Oh, well,
it's kind of personal.
I don't--
202
00:08:05,214 --> 00:08:06,631
I don't share it
with everybody.
203
00:08:06,714 --> 00:08:08,214
Yeah, it's very personal.
204
00:08:08,297 --> 00:08:10,172
The whole world can see it,
but it's personal.
205
00:08:10,255 --> 00:08:11,923
-Well, it's on my body.
-Okay, okay.
206
00:08:12,005 --> 00:08:13,547
Hey, let me ask
you something, okay?
207
00:08:13,631 --> 00:08:15,464
If I walked in here
with a horn on my head,
208
00:08:15,547 --> 00:08:17,172
would you say,
"What are you doing
with a horn on your head?"
209
00:08:17,255 --> 00:08:19,339
I'd say,
"Oh, I can't tell you.
It's personal."
210
00:08:19,422 --> 00:08:22,089
I got the tattoo because
of an event in my life,
211
00:08:22,172 --> 00:08:23,964
and it means something
special to me.
212
00:08:24,047 --> 00:08:25,297
It's a reminder of that to me.
213
00:08:25,381 --> 00:08:27,422
-It's just for me.
-Really?
214
00:08:27,506 --> 00:08:30,381
Then why didn't you
put it on your ass?
215
00:08:31,756 --> 00:08:34,839
I have something from
the business manager
that you need to sign.
216
00:08:34,923 --> 00:08:36,798
Ah. All right.
217
00:08:37,756 --> 00:08:39,923
-Okay.
-Uh, it's just...
218
00:08:40,005 --> 00:08:42,214
There's an initial,
and a date,
219
00:08:42,297 --> 00:08:44,798
and I think three signatures.
220
00:08:45,714 --> 00:08:47,005
May I?
221
00:08:47,089 --> 00:08:49,339
Oh, what are you doing?
That's my shirt.
222
00:08:49,422 --> 00:08:51,297
Well, I was...
cleaning my glasses.
223
00:08:51,381 --> 00:08:54,089
You can't clean your glasses
with a shirt that I'm wearing
224
00:08:54,172 --> 00:08:55,297
while I'm wearing it.
225
00:08:55,381 --> 00:08:57,839
It's inappropriate.
It's crossing a boundary.
226
00:08:57,923 --> 00:09:00,506
-No good?
-No good.
227
00:09:00,589 --> 00:09:02,339
Hmm. (pops lips)
Okay.
228
00:09:02,422 --> 00:09:03,923
♪
229
00:09:06,422 --> 00:09:09,464
(party chatter)
230
00:09:10,714 --> 00:09:13,297
I know. Susie loves this house
even more than her last one.
231
00:09:13,381 --> 00:09:15,214
Well, the last one stunk.
232
00:09:15,297 --> 00:09:17,214
Cheryl:
It was too big.
233
00:09:17,297 --> 00:09:21,214
And he called me, uh...
He called me old and bald.
234
00:09:21,297 --> 00:09:22,798
-What?
-I swear to God.
235
00:09:22,881 --> 00:09:24,255
You know,
I'll tell you something.
I love coffee,
236
00:09:24,339 --> 00:09:26,381
and I love his coffee,
but you're one of my old--
237
00:09:26,464 --> 00:09:27,964
You are my oldest friend.
238
00:09:28,047 --> 00:09:29,798
I'm gonna boycott that place.
239
00:09:29,881 --> 00:09:31,923
-You're gonna boycott
Mocha Joe's?
-I'm boycotting.
240
00:09:32,005 --> 00:09:33,673
-Hey!
-Jeff: How about that?
241
00:09:33,756 --> 00:09:36,255
-I'm boycotting Mocha Joe.
You can't do that to my friend.
-Larry: Hey.
242
00:09:36,339 --> 00:09:38,089
-Look at this guy.
Look at this guy.
-That's a friend.
243
00:09:38,172 --> 00:09:39,506
We were in the same
hospital together.
244
00:09:39,589 --> 00:09:41,506
-He can't fuck with my friend.
-All right!
245
00:09:41,589 --> 00:09:43,589
-I'm gonna get some coffee.
-Larry: Okay.
246
00:09:43,673 --> 00:09:45,381
Enjoy your coffee.
247
00:09:45,464 --> 00:09:47,714
-He's boycotting.
-He's boycotting.
That's a big move.
248
00:09:47,798 --> 00:09:50,089
-Jeff: That's a big move,
a boycott.
-Oh, my God.
249
00:09:50,172 --> 00:09:52,756
Who invited you?
You pig.
250
00:09:52,839 --> 00:09:55,339
No, uh, Nancy, that is not
Harvey Weinstein.
251
00:09:55,422 --> 00:09:58,464
-I'm so sorry, Jeff.
My sister's from out of town.
-Jeff: Oh!
252
00:09:58,547 --> 00:10:00,422
-I'm just, I'm really sorry.
-Oh, my God. Oh, I'm so--
253
00:10:00,506 --> 00:10:03,005
-Jeff:
I'm the host of the party.
-Oh, my God! I'm so sorry.
254
00:10:03,089 --> 00:10:04,589
Yes, I'm not Harvey Weinstein.
255
00:10:04,673 --> 00:10:06,589
-I'm sorry. Thank you.
I'm sorry.
-Jeff: Okay.
256
00:10:06,673 --> 00:10:08,756
(whispers):
He looks like Harvey Weinstein.
He looks just like him.
257
00:10:08,839 --> 00:10:11,255
-What the hell?
-Okay.
258
00:10:11,339 --> 00:10:15,547
All the time,
women, men--
doesn't matter.
259
00:10:15,631 --> 00:10:17,714
-Larry: Geez.
-And suddenly, I'm this guy.
260
00:10:17,798 --> 00:10:20,047
-Unbelievable.
-Unbelievable.
261
00:10:20,130 --> 00:10:23,589
I'm starving.
Oh! Pigs in a blanket.
262
00:10:23,673 --> 00:10:25,255
-What's better?
-Oh...
263
00:10:25,339 --> 00:10:28,506
I've been following
her around all night,
but she never has any.
264
00:10:28,589 --> 00:10:29,923
Jeff:
They go fast.
265
00:10:30,005 --> 00:10:32,464
I don't care how foo-foo
the other items are,
266
00:10:32,547 --> 00:10:34,798
-and people love 'em,
pigs in a blanket.
-Yeah.
267
00:10:34,881 --> 00:10:38,381
Larry, I am
extremely displeased
with your behavior.
268
00:10:38,464 --> 00:10:40,130
Ladies and gentlemen,
269
00:10:40,214 --> 00:10:43,464
the 16th president
of these United States...
270
00:10:43,547 --> 00:10:45,464
-Yeah, yeah. You're funny.
-...Abraham Lincoln.
271
00:10:45,547 --> 00:10:47,130
Let's give him
a big round of applause.
272
00:10:47,214 --> 00:10:49,547
-Like you know anything
about fashion.
-It is such an honor
273
00:10:49,631 --> 00:10:52,089
to be standing near you,
Mr. President.
274
00:10:52,172 --> 00:10:55,464
This hat is very similar
to the one that
Kate Middleton wore.
275
00:10:55,547 --> 00:10:57,714
-Okay? You don't know shit.
-Oh, really?
276
00:10:57,798 --> 00:10:59,881
-I know you look ridiculous.
How about that?
-Yeah. Yeah, fine.
277
00:10:59,964 --> 00:11:03,756
You act ridiculous.
Why are you harassing
my friend Randi at the gym?
278
00:11:03,839 --> 00:11:06,589
Hey, you know what?
Somebody has to stand up
for that fetus.
279
00:11:06,673 --> 00:11:08,005
You don't know anything
about fetuses.
280
00:11:08,089 --> 00:11:09,756
I know you don't go
on a treadmill
281
00:11:09,839 --> 00:11:11,464
eight months pregnant.
You don't have to be a genius
282
00:11:11,547 --> 00:11:13,214
-to figure that out.
-Why not? Why not?
283
00:11:13,297 --> 00:11:15,047
Do you think
that's good for fetus?
All that jostling?
284
00:11:15,130 --> 00:11:18,506
It's not your job
to mansplain to Randi!
285
00:11:18,589 --> 00:11:20,297
-Jeff, there's people
I want you to meet.
-Okay.
286
00:11:20,381 --> 00:11:23,005
"Four score and seven years ago,
287
00:11:23,089 --> 00:11:26,381
"our fathers brought forth
to this continent
288
00:11:26,464 --> 00:11:27,881
"a new nation,
289
00:11:27,964 --> 00:11:29,756
"conceived in liberty,
290
00:11:29,839 --> 00:11:31,756
-dedicated..."
-Larry, Happy New Year.
291
00:11:31,839 --> 00:11:33,255
You're too late.
292
00:11:33,339 --> 00:11:35,089
"Happy New Year."
Come on. It's three weeks.
293
00:11:35,172 --> 00:11:37,464
-Isn't it almost
a month already?
-It's ridiculous.
294
00:11:37,547 --> 00:11:39,714
Ah, look, well, they have
nothing to say, these people.
295
00:11:40,339 --> 00:11:43,255
-Oh, man.
-How do you know it's
a happy new year, anyway?
296
00:11:43,547 --> 00:11:45,923
-I can't believe it.
-What?
297
00:11:46,714 --> 00:11:49,339
Aw, I missed 'em again.
It's unbelievable.
298
00:11:49,422 --> 00:11:51,381
Hey, Larry!
Hey!
299
00:11:51,464 --> 00:11:52,589
-Hey.
-How you been?
300
00:11:52,673 --> 00:11:54,172
-Good.
-Yeah, great to see you.
301
00:11:54,255 --> 00:11:55,673
Shit. That's Rosen--
302
00:11:55,756 --> 00:11:56,923
-Phil Rosenthal.
-Phil Rosenthal.
303
00:11:57,005 --> 00:11:58,881
He just talks about
his shows all the time.
304
00:11:58,964 --> 00:12:02,422
His own show, and how about--
Romano is on 500 times a day.
305
00:12:02,506 --> 00:12:03,881
Somebody Feed Phil.
306
00:12:03,964 --> 00:12:06,214
Oh, geez, with all the chaos
in the world,
307
00:12:06,297 --> 00:12:07,923
in third-world countries,
feed him?
308
00:12:08,005 --> 00:12:09,214
He should be feeding
other people.
309
00:12:09,297 --> 00:12:11,047
It should be called
Phil Feeds Everybody.
310
00:12:11,130 --> 00:12:13,547
-You know what I'm gonna
do with him tonight?
-What's that?
311
00:12:13,631 --> 00:12:15,506
The Big Goodbye.
312
00:12:15,589 --> 00:12:17,214
I'm employing
The Big Goodbye.
313
00:12:17,297 --> 00:12:19,547
-It's the greatest
move in history.
-How great is The Big Goodbye?
314
00:12:19,631 --> 00:12:21,464
I've been doing it for years,
since you taught me.
315
00:12:21,547 --> 00:12:23,047
-You avoid the person
all night...
-Of course.
316
00:12:23,130 --> 00:12:25,089
And then at the end,
when you're about to leave,
317
00:12:25,172 --> 00:12:27,047
you go, "Ah!"
You give 'em
a big goodbye.
318
00:12:27,130 --> 00:12:30,673
-Then they feel good...
-Bye! Goodbye and good luck
to you and your family.
319
00:12:30,756 --> 00:12:33,214
They're very happy that
you spent this time with them
320
00:12:33,297 --> 00:12:34,714
at the end of the night, and...
321
00:12:34,798 --> 00:12:36,714
-and you slip out.
-It's genius.
322
00:12:36,798 --> 00:12:39,798
Um, are you up for doing
our old ventriloquist act?
323
00:12:39,881 --> 00:12:41,923
-I don't know.
Susie wants to see it.
-Yeah, I'll do it.
324
00:12:42,005 --> 00:12:43,047
-You will?
-Yeah.
325
00:12:43,130 --> 00:12:44,381
Okay, good.
Can we do it pretty soon?
326
00:12:44,464 --> 00:12:45,839
Because I want Ted to see it
before he leaves.
327
00:12:45,923 --> 00:12:47,714
-Of course.
-Thank you.
328
00:12:48,506 --> 00:12:50,005
Ted.
329
00:12:50,089 --> 00:12:51,839
-(all laughing)
-I'd like to thank
Jeff and Susie
330
00:12:51,923 --> 00:12:54,923
-for inviting us into
their beautiful home.
-I like the other one.
331
00:12:55,005 --> 00:12:56,798
(crowd laughing)
332
00:12:56,881 --> 00:12:58,881
Well, I think the house
is very nice.
333
00:12:58,964 --> 00:13:01,464
-(laughs)
-(crowd laughing)
334
00:13:01,547 --> 00:13:04,714
Did they throw that
fish smell in for free?
335
00:13:04,798 --> 00:13:07,881
(laughing)
336
00:13:07,964 --> 00:13:11,631
And, and, and look at all
our other friends who are
kind enough to join us.
337
00:13:11,714 --> 00:13:15,631
-There's, there's Ted Danson.
-Wow, is he handsome!
338
00:13:15,714 --> 00:13:17,255
He sure thinks so.
339
00:13:17,339 --> 00:13:20,005
-Oh!
-(laughing)
340
00:13:20,714 --> 00:13:22,964
And how about Susie,
our inimitable hostess?
341
00:13:23,047 --> 00:13:25,798
-(clapping)
-Susie, I love the curtains,
342
00:13:25,881 --> 00:13:27,881
but why did you make
a jacket out of it?
343
00:13:27,964 --> 00:13:30,964
-Crowd: Oh!
-(raucous laughter)
344
00:13:31,047 --> 00:13:33,798
-Are you having a good time?
-A good time?
Are you kidding me?
345
00:13:33,881 --> 00:13:37,464
I'm with a bunch of stiffs,
the food sucks, the drinks
aren't strong enough,
346
00:13:37,547 --> 00:13:38,631
and your hand is up my ass.
347
00:13:38,714 --> 00:13:40,881
(laughing)
348
00:13:41,339 --> 00:13:44,464
(laughing):
Hey. Don't look so down.
349
00:13:44,547 --> 00:13:46,589
(laughing)
350
00:13:47,255 --> 00:13:48,923
Are you mad?
351
00:13:49,005 --> 00:13:51,506
-Let's kiss and make up.
-I'm...
352
00:13:51,589 --> 00:13:55,756
-I'm not gonna kiss a dummy.
-I wouldn't. She's got a cold.
353
00:13:56,714 --> 00:13:59,089
Aw. That's the end!
354
00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:01,005
-(applause, laughter)
-Jeff: Bravo!
355
00:14:01,089 --> 00:14:03,464
Bravo! Cheryl and Larry.
356
00:14:03,547 --> 00:14:06,464
-Cheryl and Larry.
-(cheers, whistles)
357
00:14:06,547 --> 00:14:08,756
What a great audience.
Thank you. Thank you.
358
00:14:08,839 --> 00:14:12,214
-Fantastic.
Thank you all for coming.
-Susie: I love that bit.
359
00:14:12,297 --> 00:14:14,547
-Thanks for coming.
-Susie: Always loved that bit.
360
00:14:14,631 --> 00:14:17,339
-You were very funny.
-Thank you.
361
00:14:17,422 --> 00:14:19,923
-I'm sorry, but I gotta
catch my plane.
-Okay.
362
00:14:20,005 --> 00:14:22,506
Actually, you know what,
I better not.
I don't wanna catch a cold.
363
00:14:22,589 --> 00:14:24,339
-Cheryl: Oh, I know.
You gotta stay...
-I'm sorry. Yeah.
364
00:14:24,422 --> 00:14:26,422
-I'll call you when I land.
-...healthy. Okay.
365
00:14:26,506 --> 00:14:27,923
You don't need to call her
when you land.
366
00:14:28,005 --> 00:14:30,089
If there's a plane crash,
we'll know about it.
367
00:14:30,172 --> 00:14:32,214
-Okay. I'll walk you, Ted.
-Thank you, guys.
368
00:14:32,297 --> 00:14:34,547
-Susie: Thank you for coming.
-Ted: That was a great evening.
369
00:14:34,631 --> 00:14:36,756
♪
370
00:14:44,339 --> 00:14:46,547
Ah! There you are.
Finally gotcha.
371
00:14:46,631 --> 00:14:48,464
Sir, I need you
to get out of here.
372
00:14:48,547 --> 00:14:50,214
Get out of here?
What are you talking about?
373
00:14:50,297 --> 00:14:53,047
I need you to leave this room
'cause you've been ogling me...
374
00:14:53,130 --> 00:14:55,172
-the entire night.
-Ogling you? Are you nuts?
375
00:14:55,255 --> 00:14:57,839
-I, I, I've been ogling
the pigs in a blanket.
-Am I--
376
00:14:57,923 --> 00:14:59,381
Oh, my God. Yeah.
377
00:14:59,464 --> 00:15:02,297
-Not the first time
this has happened.
-What? I want one.
378
00:15:13,172 --> 00:15:14,297
Wow.
379
00:15:15,464 --> 00:15:17,881
-Ah. Hey.
-Hey. Excuse me.
380
00:15:17,964 --> 00:15:19,881
-Huh? Were we a hit?
-We were a hit.
381
00:15:19,964 --> 00:15:22,839
-We were the highlight
of this party.
-Highlight of the party.
382
00:15:22,923 --> 00:15:25,839
Yeah, I mean,
it's a been a while,
but we've still got it.
383
00:15:25,923 --> 00:15:28,255
-What are--
What are you doing?
-I'm gonna go home.
384
00:15:28,339 --> 00:15:30,255
-I'm just getting an Uber.
-Uber?
385
00:15:30,339 --> 00:15:32,798
-I'll take you home.
-You don't have to do that.
386
00:15:32,881 --> 00:15:34,255
Ah, it's nothing.
387
00:15:34,339 --> 00:15:37,172
-Okay. Okay.
Thank you. That's--
-Um, just give me...
388
00:15:37,255 --> 00:15:38,631
Give me two minutes.
389
00:15:38,714 --> 00:15:40,964
Okay. All right. Thanks.
390
00:15:41,714 --> 00:15:43,297
Are you kidding?
391
00:15:43,381 --> 00:15:46,339
I can't believe
I didn't get a chance
to talk to you all night,
392
00:15:46,422 --> 00:15:47,964
and now I'm on my way out.
393
00:15:48,047 --> 00:15:50,673
-What a shame.
-You giving me
The Big Goodbye?
394
00:15:50,756 --> 00:15:52,964
-The Big Goodbye? What are you--
What are you talking about?
-Big Goodbye.
395
00:15:53,047 --> 00:15:55,506
Where you avoid me all night,
and then you think you can
396
00:15:55,589 --> 00:15:57,839
cure it by having a Big Goodbye.
I know. I've been around.
397
00:15:57,923 --> 00:16:00,714
-I wasn't giving you a Big-- I
never heard of the Big Goodbye.
-It seems like a Big Goodbye.
398
00:16:00,798 --> 00:16:02,798
No, it wasn't.
It was just a normal goodbye.
399
00:16:02,881 --> 00:16:04,464
-That's a normal goodbye.
-Yeah?
400
00:16:04,547 --> 00:16:05,714
-Yeah.
-Really?
401
00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:06,964
Yeah. I wasn't trying
to avoid you.
402
00:16:07,047 --> 00:16:08,547
Are you kidding?
Why would I avoid you?
403
00:16:08,631 --> 00:16:10,172
Have lunch with me
Wednesday?
404
00:16:10,589 --> 00:16:12,297
We have a lot to talk about.
Listen,
405
00:16:12,381 --> 00:16:14,339
we're doing Raymond
in Portugal.
406
00:16:14,422 --> 00:16:16,839
Yeah.
Everybody Loves Joam.
407
00:16:16,923 --> 00:16:18,964
It's fantastic.
I get to go.
408
00:16:19,047 --> 00:16:20,839
And then I have the whole
Somebody Feed Phil show.
409
00:16:20,923 --> 00:16:23,673
I want you to do my show.
I want to go to Ethiopia
with you.
410
00:16:23,756 --> 00:16:25,798
-(chuckles) Ethiopia.
-Ethiopia's great.
411
00:16:25,881 --> 00:16:27,464
I don't think I'm
running off to Ethiopia--
412
00:16:27,547 --> 00:16:28,964
Sure, you eat with your hands.
It's fantastic.
413
00:16:29,047 --> 00:16:30,464
-Everybody shares,
and, and the thing--
-I... I...
414
00:16:30,547 --> 00:16:32,255
-I don't like to leave
the continent, you know.
-No?
415
00:16:32,339 --> 00:16:33,631
-Nah.
-All right.
You know what?
416
00:16:33,714 --> 00:16:35,464
We'll start lunch Wednesday.
We'll see where it goes.
417
00:16:35,547 --> 00:16:37,923
Say yes to me
and you can go.
418
00:16:38,506 --> 00:16:40,381
-Okay.
-Okay.
419
00:16:40,464 --> 00:16:41,881
Larry: You know,
did I ever tell you
420
00:16:41,964 --> 00:16:44,381
that I once did a, uh,
premature Big Goodbye?
421
00:16:44,464 --> 00:16:46,631
So what does that mean?
You said goodbye and then
you didn't leave?
422
00:16:46,714 --> 00:16:48,923
-I did a Big Goodbye
and then I didn't--
-Come on.
423
00:16:49,005 --> 00:16:51,839
-And I didn't leave.
-And what did they do?
They were mad?
424
00:16:51,923 --> 00:16:54,673
-I ran into her in the kitchen
about an hour later.
-Come on.
425
00:16:54,756 --> 00:16:57,464
And what do you say?
What do you even say?
426
00:16:57,547 --> 00:16:59,673
She said,
"I thought you left."
I said, "Well, you know.
427
00:16:59,756 --> 00:17:02,631
I got, uh...
something happened."
I don't know.
428
00:17:02,714 --> 00:17:04,297
I made up a story.
429
00:17:04,381 --> 00:17:06,964
I, but I,
I can't believe that...
430
00:17:07,047 --> 00:17:08,506
that he knew about
the Big Goodbye.
431
00:17:08,589 --> 00:17:10,255
-(laughing)
-That was unbelievable to me.
432
00:17:10,339 --> 00:17:13,130
Well, I can't believe
that you kissed me when
you knew I had a cold.
433
00:17:13,214 --> 00:17:14,839
That was pretty unbelievable.
434
00:17:14,923 --> 00:17:17,089
Yeah. You...
435
00:17:18,297 --> 00:17:20,255
I would do it again.
436
00:17:29,839 --> 00:17:31,339
(sighs)
437
00:17:40,255 --> 00:17:42,089
Cheryl:
Wow, Larry.
438
00:17:42,506 --> 00:17:44,130
What are we doing?
439
00:17:44,714 --> 00:17:47,047
By the way,
before we get into that,
440
00:17:47,130 --> 00:17:49,214
are you aware that you have
a wobbly table here?
441
00:17:49,297 --> 00:17:52,547
Look at this.
Look at this table.
It's unbelievable.
442
00:17:52,631 --> 00:17:55,798
-I, I don't know how you
can go to bed at night.
-Yeah, it doesn't bother me.
443
00:17:55,881 --> 00:17:57,756
If all tables in
your house wobbled,
444
00:17:57,839 --> 00:17:59,964
you could live like that?
You could in a wobble-house?
445
00:18:00,047 --> 00:18:04,130
We need to talk about Ted.
We need to talk about everything
that just happened here.
446
00:18:04,214 --> 00:18:06,047
-What?
-What?
447
00:18:06,130 --> 00:18:08,172
-What are you so...
-Oh...
448
00:18:08,255 --> 00:18:09,756
I'm, I'm your ex-husband.
449
00:18:09,839 --> 00:18:12,047
Ted is such a good person.
450
00:18:12,130 --> 00:18:14,506
No, he's not such
a good person, okay?
451
00:18:14,589 --> 00:18:17,214
You don't do that.
You don't date
a friend's ex-wife.
452
00:18:17,297 --> 00:18:19,089
I mean, it's crazy.
453
00:18:19,673 --> 00:18:22,130
-You know what it is?
-Now... what?
454
00:18:22,214 --> 00:18:25,923
I think when I'm with you,
it makes me feel...
455
00:18:26,506 --> 00:18:28,923
-...better about myself?
-Morally superior.
456
00:18:29,005 --> 00:18:30,339
-Yes.
-Yes.
457
00:18:30,422 --> 00:18:32,089
-I hear that a lot. Yeah.
-Yeah. So, I'm not perfect,
458
00:18:32,172 --> 00:18:34,756
-but at least
I'm better than you.
-You're better than me.
459
00:18:34,839 --> 00:18:36,172
I can relate to
what you're saying,
460
00:18:36,255 --> 00:18:38,339
'cause I don't, I don't
feel that way with people.
461
00:18:38,422 --> 00:18:41,673
-I feel morally
inferior to people.
-Yeah.
462
00:18:41,756 --> 00:18:44,923
But I feel that way
with animals 'cause
they're generally so stupid,
463
00:18:45,005 --> 00:18:47,839
and I can--
especially insects,
I can crush them.
464
00:18:47,923 --> 00:18:50,089
You know, and, and
they eat each other.
465
00:18:50,172 --> 00:18:52,673
I mean, they're crazy,
animals. So, yeah.
466
00:18:52,756 --> 00:18:55,130
I feel smarter
and morally superior to them.
467
00:18:55,214 --> 00:18:56,798
(both laugh)
468
00:18:56,881 --> 00:19:00,381
-Hey. Uh... Let me
ask you something.
-Yeah?
469
00:19:01,255 --> 00:19:03,547
Is there any chance that...
470
00:19:04,422 --> 00:19:07,089
we might meet up again?
471
00:19:07,756 --> 00:19:09,589
We'll see.
472
00:19:09,673 --> 00:19:10,923
We'll see.
473
00:19:11,172 --> 00:19:14,214
-You can't stay here.
-I'm gonna tell you something,
okay?
474
00:19:14,297 --> 00:19:16,297
-If we ever got
back together...
-Yeah.
475
00:19:16,381 --> 00:19:19,798
...and somehow this table
appeared on, on our bedside...
476
00:19:19,881 --> 00:19:22,798
-Yeah?
-...it would be fixed
immediately.
477
00:19:22,881 --> 00:19:24,756
-Immediately.
-Oh, my God.
478
00:19:24,839 --> 00:19:27,673
-Larry: I could not live
with a wobbly table.
-Cheryl: Larry, please.
479
00:19:27,756 --> 00:19:29,214
-Go.
-Larry: Okay.
480
00:19:33,464 --> 00:19:35,047
Ha-ha!
481
00:19:35,130 --> 00:19:36,673
-What?
-Where the fuck you been at?
482
00:19:36,756 --> 00:19:38,506
-What are you? My mother?
-Fuck yeah, I am.
483
00:19:38,589 --> 00:19:40,673
All right,
I was at a party, okay?
I was at Jeff's party.
484
00:19:40,756 --> 00:19:42,506
-That party was over
a long time ago.
-Huh?
485
00:19:42,589 --> 00:19:45,673
Yeah. This right here--
This right here?
It's called tappin' hours.
486
00:19:45,756 --> 00:19:47,714
This is the hours when
people are tappin' ass.
487
00:19:47,798 --> 00:19:49,589
I'm not tappin'.
I'm not tappin'.
488
00:19:49,673 --> 00:19:51,464
Older white men should not
be out this fuckin' late.
489
00:19:51,547 --> 00:19:54,589
There's no late-night
yacht club,
or late-night garage sales
490
00:19:54,673 --> 00:19:56,422
and shit like that.
You out here fuckin'.
491
00:19:56,506 --> 00:19:58,005
When I'm tappin',
I always tell you.
492
00:19:58,089 --> 00:19:59,714
I come home and spread
the fuckin' news.
493
00:19:59,798 --> 00:20:01,381
You wanna know who I'm tappin'?
You wanna know who I'm tappin'?
494
00:20:01,464 --> 00:20:03,547
-Who the fuck you tappin'?
-(slams)
495
00:20:03,631 --> 00:20:06,255
Larry: I can't get out of it.
It's Phil Rosenthal.
He's just--
496
00:20:06,339 --> 00:20:08,005
What do you do?
How many times
can you say no?
497
00:20:08,089 --> 00:20:10,005
You couldn't do
the Big Goodbye?
498
00:20:10,089 --> 00:20:12,214
I did the Big Goodbye.
He saw right through it.
499
00:20:12,297 --> 00:20:13,756
Ah! You know what I'll do?
500
00:20:13,839 --> 00:20:15,339
I'll call you
in the middle of lunch.
501
00:20:15,422 --> 00:20:17,464
Say it's an emergency
and you gotta go.
502
00:20:17,547 --> 00:20:19,381
I did that the last time
I had lunch with him.
503
00:20:19,464 --> 00:20:21,464
Oh, boy.
That guy's relentless.
504
00:20:21,547 --> 00:20:24,589
Hey, Lar, that was
some party last night, huh?
505
00:20:25,130 --> 00:20:27,089
-Yeah, it was a great party.
-You had a good time?
506
00:20:27,172 --> 00:20:28,756
-I did. I had a nice time.
-Yeah.
507
00:20:28,839 --> 00:20:31,297
So you drove Cheryl home?
508
00:20:32,172 --> 00:20:33,255
Yep.
509
00:20:33,339 --> 00:20:34,756
That was very nice of you.
510
00:20:34,839 --> 00:20:37,005
-Considering Ted's
out of town--
-Yeah. I'm a nice guy.
511
00:20:37,089 --> 00:20:38,547
-Yeah.
-Yeah. I'm a nice guy.
512
00:20:38,631 --> 00:20:40,631
So, what, did you just
drop her off, or--
513
00:20:40,714 --> 00:20:42,881
-Yeah. Pretty much.
-Hmm.
514
00:20:42,964 --> 00:20:46,714
Dropped her off.
Said good night.
Went on my merry way.
515
00:20:46,798 --> 00:20:48,339
Mm-hmm.
516
00:20:49,881 --> 00:20:52,964
-Is there something
you would like to know, or--
-No, no, no.
517
00:20:53,047 --> 00:20:54,964
Something you're
not saying? Um...
518
00:20:55,047 --> 00:20:56,798
You know, can I person
not just ask
519
00:20:56,881 --> 00:20:59,589
-a, a normal question?
-No, they're not
normal questions.
520
00:20:59,673 --> 00:21:02,381
-There's a lot of implications.
A lot of implications.
-Larry: You're fishing--
521
00:21:02,464 --> 00:21:04,130
You're on a little
fishing expedition.
522
00:21:04,214 --> 00:21:05,756
You know,
you two are something.
523
00:21:05,839 --> 00:21:07,089
-You two make crap up--
-We're something?
524
00:21:07,172 --> 00:21:08,589
You know what?
You're something.
525
00:21:08,673 --> 00:21:10,589
Don't eat all the leftovers.
We need them for dinner.
526
00:21:10,673 --> 00:21:12,839
-Jeff: Sure, I won't.
-You're something.
527
00:21:13,673 --> 00:21:16,255
-I'll eat whatever
the fuck I want.
-That's right.
528
00:21:16,339 --> 00:21:17,923
Hey. Did you sleep with Cheryl?
529
00:21:18,005 --> 00:21:19,547
-Yeah.
-You did?
530
00:21:19,631 --> 00:21:22,255
-Yeah. Listen.
(chuckles)
-Ah.
531
00:21:22,339 --> 00:21:24,756
You cannot say anything
to Susie. Cannot.
532
00:21:24,839 --> 00:21:26,756
Under any circumstances.
Cheryl swore me to secrecy.
533
00:21:26,839 --> 00:21:28,005
She didn't want me to tell you.
534
00:21:28,089 --> 00:21:29,923
But I had to.
I couldn't--
How could I not?
535
00:21:30,005 --> 00:21:31,923
I'm a human being,
for God's sake.
536
00:21:32,005 --> 00:21:33,464
-I think it's great.
-Right?
537
00:21:33,547 --> 00:21:35,923
Yes. Wha--
What are you hoping
to get out of it, though?
538
00:21:36,005 --> 00:21:38,547
I'm hoping to get
back together, but...
539
00:21:38,631 --> 00:21:41,506
-I'll be surprised
if I see her again.
-Hmm.
540
00:21:41,589 --> 00:21:43,673
We on for golf on Saturday?
541
00:21:43,756 --> 00:21:45,297
Yeah. Um...
542
00:21:45,381 --> 00:21:47,130
Arnie Norton asked
if he could play.
543
00:21:47,214 --> 00:21:50,255
(scoffs)
I'm not playing with him.
He's a Trump supporter.
544
00:21:50,339 --> 00:21:52,589
-Never play with
a Trump supporter.
-Really?
545
00:21:52,673 --> 00:21:54,381
See him around town
with that hat.
546
00:21:54,464 --> 00:21:56,047
"Make America Great Again."
547
00:21:56,130 --> 00:21:58,089
I don't need that crap.
548
00:21:59,214 --> 00:22:02,089
He just--
He makes me want to
not be anywhere near him.
549
00:22:02,964 --> 00:22:06,464
I don't know.
You can check with Carl.
See if he wants to play.
550
00:22:06,547 --> 00:22:07,756
I gotta go.
551
00:22:09,130 --> 00:22:11,964
(Phil whistling)
552
00:22:12,506 --> 00:22:13,964
-Phil: Oh, hello, there.
-Hostess: Hi.
553
00:22:14,047 --> 00:22:16,381
Hi. I'm Phil Rosenthal.
I have a twelve o'clock.
554
00:22:16,464 --> 00:22:18,339
Oh, yes.
Mr. David's already here.
555
00:22:18,422 --> 00:22:20,756
-He is? Wow.
-Yes. Right this way.
556
00:22:20,839 --> 00:22:23,381
-Very impressive.
-He was early.
557
00:22:26,923 --> 00:22:28,255
Enjoy.
558
00:22:28,339 --> 00:22:30,631
Larry:
Hey, Phil!
559
00:22:31,547 --> 00:22:34,756
Good to see you.
Sit. Sit down. Sit down.
560
00:22:35,964 --> 00:22:38,798
Boy, I'm so glad we did this.
It was such a good idea.
561
00:22:38,881 --> 00:22:40,172
You, you were definitely right.
562
00:22:40,255 --> 00:22:42,005
I'm, I'm starving.
I hope this place is good.
563
00:22:42,089 --> 00:22:43,839
Yeah, yeah, it's great.
It's big portions
564
00:22:43,923 --> 00:22:46,005
on the food and everything.
It's really...
565
00:22:46,089 --> 00:22:48,089
a fantastic place. Um...
566
00:22:48,172 --> 00:22:50,381
You know what else?
I've been thinking...
567
00:22:50,464 --> 00:22:52,964
Really thinking about
this Ethiopia thing.
568
00:22:53,047 --> 00:22:55,214
Yeah, actually,
I heard that
we have some budget cuts,
569
00:22:55,297 --> 00:22:59,005
and Ethiopia's a little...
ex-expensive to shoot in.
570
00:22:59,089 --> 00:23:00,714
Wasn't that one of
the shithole countries?
571
00:23:00,798 --> 00:23:02,964
I can't remember if
that was on the list or not.
572
00:23:03,047 --> 00:23:05,839
-Oh, look. I'm getting a thing.
-Larry: Oh!
573
00:23:06,214 --> 00:23:08,673
Oh, yeah.
Oh, look at that.
Um, uh...
574
00:23:08,756 --> 00:23:11,214
My son's flight, uh,
got in early.
575
00:23:11,297 --> 00:23:13,714
-And I gotta get him.
I gotta go get him.
-Oh! Really?
576
00:23:13,798 --> 00:23:17,005
-Yeah, no, really.
-Let's... Send, send
an Uber or something.
577
00:23:17,089 --> 00:23:19,631
He needs to see me
because he has a little anxiety.
578
00:23:19,714 --> 00:23:21,381
No, no! You know what?
Phil...
579
00:23:21,464 --> 00:23:24,255
No, no.
We'll, we'll, we'll...
We'll... something.
580
00:23:27,130 --> 00:23:28,673
Ah!
581
00:23:28,756 --> 00:23:30,589
Fill her up.
582
00:23:31,464 --> 00:23:33,381
-Ah! Arigato!
-Yes.
583
00:23:33,464 --> 00:23:36,923
-Arigato!
-All right. Two seats
at the sushi bar.
584
00:23:44,130 --> 00:23:46,964
You know what?
Actually, I think we'd prefer
to sit at a table, please.
585
00:23:47,047 --> 00:23:48,714
Larry:
Huh.
586
00:23:50,339 --> 00:23:51,839
Sad.
587
00:23:51,923 --> 00:23:53,964
Very sad. Sad.
588
00:23:54,047 --> 00:23:56,089
(motorcycle rumbling)
589
00:23:56,172 --> 00:23:58,214
(singing indistinctly)
590
00:23:58,297 --> 00:24:01,130
-Biker: Hey! What
the fuck are you doing?
-Whoa.
591
00:24:01,214 --> 00:24:03,756
-Oh, God. Oh, God.
-Motherfucker!
What the fuck?
592
00:24:03,839 --> 00:24:05,506
What are you
trying to do, man?
593
00:24:05,589 --> 00:24:08,714
-What the fuck are you doing?
You little fucker!
-Oh, God. Oh, God.
594
00:24:08,798 --> 00:24:11,089
-I'm sorry, I didn't see you.
-What the fuck?
595
00:24:11,172 --> 00:24:13,714
-I'm sorry, I didn't see you!
-I'm ought to rip you
outta that fuckin' car!
596
00:24:13,798 --> 00:24:16,756
-You little shit.
-I'm sorry.
I didn't see you.
597
00:24:16,839 --> 00:24:19,214
Oh. Just be more careful
next time, okay?
598
00:24:19,297 --> 00:24:22,422
Will do. Will do.
Okay. Thank you.
599
00:24:22,506 --> 00:24:24,464
♪
600
00:24:26,798 --> 00:24:28,798
Richard:
♪ Now, now... ♪
601
00:24:28,881 --> 00:24:32,297
♪ I want my coffee
and my Danish
right now, now, now ♪
602
00:24:32,381 --> 00:24:35,589
(continues singing indistinctly)
603
00:24:50,255 --> 00:24:52,130
-(knocking)
-What are you--
What are you doing here?
604
00:24:52,214 --> 00:24:54,047
What do you mean
what am I doin' here?
605
00:24:54,130 --> 00:24:56,172
-Come here. Come out.
I want to talk to you.
-You come here.
606
00:24:56,255 --> 00:24:58,339
-No, come on.
Come on out here.
-No, you come.
607
00:24:58,422 --> 00:25:00,547
-Come on. I want
to talk to you. Come on.
-I'm not leaving. You come.
608
00:25:00,631 --> 00:25:03,422
-You come. You come.
-(mutters): Aw, fuck it.
609
00:25:04,714 --> 00:25:07,255
What are you doing here?
You said you were gonna
boycott this place.
610
00:25:07,339 --> 00:25:08,964
I am boycotting this place.
611
00:25:09,047 --> 00:25:11,005
Oh, this is a boycott?
Sitting here drinking coffee?
612
00:25:11,089 --> 00:25:12,589
That's a boy--
That's quite a boycott.
613
00:25:12,673 --> 00:25:15,714
I told you,
for the rest of
my dying days,
614
00:25:15,798 --> 00:25:18,255
I will never come
to this place with you.
615
00:25:18,339 --> 00:25:20,047
-Ever.
-That's not what you said.
616
00:25:20,130 --> 00:25:22,339
-I said I was--
-You said you're
boycotting this place.
617
00:25:22,422 --> 00:25:24,464
And you're
never coming back here.
You didn't say with me.
618
00:25:24,547 --> 00:25:26,756
What are you?
My Jewish puppet master?
619
00:25:26,839 --> 00:25:28,756
I can do whatever
the fuck I want alone,
620
00:25:28,839 --> 00:25:30,839
-but with you,
I will never come in here.
-Look!
621
00:25:30,923 --> 00:25:32,172
I swear on my life.
622
00:25:32,255 --> 00:25:33,798
Who the fuck needs you
for a boycott
623
00:25:33,881 --> 00:25:36,130
if I'm boycotting already?
I don't need you
624
00:25:36,214 --> 00:25:37,714
to boycott.
You said you're boycotting,
625
00:25:37,798 --> 00:25:39,005
-but you didn't boycott.
-Are you done?
626
00:25:39,089 --> 00:25:40,714
I-- I don't understand.
I si-- (scoffs)
627
00:25:40,798 --> 00:25:42,798
-I don't understand you.
-(woman coughing)
628
00:25:43,506 --> 00:25:45,631
Oh, my God.
Now she's drinking coffee!
629
00:25:45,714 --> 00:25:47,506
-Richard: Who's that?
-Larry: It's unbelievable.
630
00:25:47,589 --> 00:25:49,714
-Richard: Who?
-Susie's friend. I saw her
in the gym the other day.
631
00:25:49,798 --> 00:25:52,130
She's eight months pregnant.
She was running on a treadmill.
632
00:25:52,839 --> 00:25:54,881
She has no regard
for this fetus.
633
00:25:54,964 --> 00:25:56,547
Now she's drinking coffee.
634
00:25:56,631 --> 00:26:00,089
This coffee, by the way,
is unbelievable.
It's fantastic.
635
00:26:00,172 --> 00:26:02,047
-Is it hot?
-It's very hot.
636
00:26:02,130 --> 00:26:05,214
-Let me see that for a second.
-Hey, don't touch my--
I don't like-- Don't touch it.
637
00:26:05,297 --> 00:26:07,255
What the-- Hey, stop it!
638
00:26:07,964 --> 00:26:09,756
What are you,
a fuckin' goose?
639
00:26:09,839 --> 00:26:12,130
Okay. That's not
hot coffee, okay?
640
00:26:12,214 --> 00:26:14,339
If that was hot coffee,
I, I would have burned my nose.
641
00:26:14,422 --> 00:26:17,255
Who asked for a nose test?
I didn't want a nose test!
642
00:26:17,339 --> 00:26:19,005
-What, are you
outta your mind?
-Not hot.
643
00:26:19,089 --> 00:26:20,506
What the hell
is going on here?
644
00:26:20,589 --> 00:26:22,589
-Is he bothering you,
Mr. Lewis?
-Yes, he's bothering me.
645
00:26:22,673 --> 00:26:24,923
-Oh, really?
-Richard: Yeah, really.
646
00:26:25,005 --> 00:26:27,214
You know what, Larry?
Get out.
647
00:26:27,297 --> 00:26:29,214
-Huh.
-This is what it's come to.
648
00:26:29,297 --> 00:26:32,547
You're banned. For life.
I never wanna see you
in here again.
649
00:26:32,631 --> 00:26:36,172
-Is that so?
-Yeah. You're banned.
Banned! Get out!
650
00:26:36,255 --> 00:26:38,381
With pleasure.
651
00:26:40,005 --> 00:26:41,422
♪
652
00:26:41,506 --> 00:26:43,506
Mark my words, Mocha Joe,
653
00:26:44,255 --> 00:26:45,881
and mark them well.
654
00:26:45,964 --> 00:26:49,047
I don't know how,
and I don't know when,
655
00:26:49,130 --> 00:26:51,339
but I will exact vengeance.
656
00:26:51,422 --> 00:26:53,005
As God is my witness,
657
00:26:53,089 --> 00:26:56,881
I will bring you to the brink
of extinction,
658
00:26:56,964 --> 00:26:59,130
or I will die trying.
659
00:26:59,798 --> 00:27:02,506
-Happy New Year, Mocha Joe!
-Happy New Year, Larry.
660
00:27:02,589 --> 00:27:03,756
Hey, Happy New Year, man.
661
00:27:03,839 --> 00:27:05,631
Happy New Year.
662
00:27:05,714 --> 00:27:07,506
♪ ♪
663
00:27:16,714 --> 00:27:19,381
(phone ringing)
664
00:27:20,172 --> 00:27:21,714
Hello, Larry David's office.
665
00:27:21,798 --> 00:27:23,381
Valerie (over phone):
Hi, my name is Valerie Ashburn.
666
00:27:23,464 --> 00:27:24,798
I'd like to speak
to Larry David.
667
00:27:24,881 --> 00:27:26,589
Yes, may I ask
what this is regarding?
668
00:27:26,673 --> 00:27:30,714
Sure. This is regarding him
sexually assaulting me
at a party.
669
00:27:31,089 --> 00:27:33,798
Oh, my gosh. I'm so sorry.
What--
670
00:27:33,881 --> 00:27:35,464
What happened?
671
00:27:35,547 --> 00:27:36,798
I was catering at a party.
672
00:27:36,881 --> 00:27:39,464
Larry was molesting me
with his eyes
673
00:27:39,547 --> 00:27:42,339
the entire night.
And then when I went
into a pantry,
674
00:27:42,422 --> 00:27:44,631
he followed me in,
cornered me,
675
00:27:44,714 --> 00:27:46,756
and he grabbed my breast.
I was lucky to get out of there.
676
00:27:46,839 --> 00:27:50,255
-You know he did something
like that to me, too?
-Valerie: No.
677
00:27:50,339 --> 00:27:52,506
-Oh, my God.
-Alice: Yeah.
678
00:27:52,589 --> 00:27:54,422
Everything was fine.
And one day he...
679
00:27:54,506 --> 00:27:56,255
asked about a tattoo
I have on my arm,
680
00:27:56,339 --> 00:27:57,464
and I wouldn't tell him
what it meant,
681
00:27:57,547 --> 00:27:58,756
and then he got
obsessive about it.
682
00:27:58,839 --> 00:28:00,339
And why did I have it
on my arm,
683
00:28:00,422 --> 00:28:02,881
and why didn't I
have it on my butt,
somewhere private.
684
00:28:02,964 --> 00:28:04,547
Okay. So this is a pattern.
685
00:28:04,631 --> 00:28:06,923
Alice:
Oh, yeah. And that's
just the beginning.
686
00:28:20,839 --> 00:28:22,547
What the fuck!
687
00:28:23,673 --> 00:28:24,923
Fuck!
688
00:28:25,005 --> 00:28:26,923
(gags)
689
00:28:28,506 --> 00:28:30,089
(groans)
690
00:28:32,339 --> 00:28:33,798
Shit.
691
00:28:34,589 --> 00:28:37,339
Damn it. Frickin' dog.
692
00:28:38,130 --> 00:28:41,047
And he grabbed my shirt
to wipe his glasses.
693
00:28:41,130 --> 00:28:43,464
Hold on.
I have to shut the door.
694
00:28:48,339 --> 00:28:50,923
-Larry?
-Larry: I'll be out
in a second.
695
00:28:51,005 --> 00:28:52,631
Okay.
696
00:28:58,381 --> 00:28:59,881
-What's with the robe?
-Larry: Oh.
697
00:28:59,964 --> 00:29:02,756
'Cause I spit cereal up
all over my shirt,
698
00:29:02,839 --> 00:29:04,547
because there was
dog hair in it.
699
00:29:04,631 --> 00:29:06,464
-(groans) Disgusting.
-Larry: Right?
700
00:29:06,547 --> 00:29:09,756
So... what's going on?
What do you...
701
00:29:09,839 --> 00:29:12,464
What, what are you doing here?
You haven't been here in a year.
702
00:29:12,547 --> 00:29:14,381
What the fuck is
going on with you?
703
00:29:14,464 --> 00:29:16,422
-What are you talking about?
-You're wearing a MAGA hat
704
00:29:16,506 --> 00:29:17,881
at a sushi restaurant?
705
00:29:18,005 --> 00:29:20,673
-Is that true?
-Well, I did have
the hat on, yeah.
706
00:29:20,756 --> 00:29:22,923
-What, are you pro-Trump?
-No, no.
707
00:29:23,005 --> 00:29:24,631
Look, I got this idea
to wear that hat
708
00:29:24,714 --> 00:29:27,089
-so I wouldn't have to have
lunch with Phil Rosenthal.
-Mm.
709
00:29:27,172 --> 00:29:30,089
And it worked like a charm.
He saw me in the hat
and he left the restaurant.
710
00:29:30,172 --> 00:29:31,756
-It was amazing.
-I'm not surprised.
711
00:29:31,839 --> 00:29:33,881
You know what?
It's really comin' in handy.
712
00:29:33,964 --> 00:29:36,255
Yeah, 'cause no one's gonna
wanna be anywhere near you.
713
00:29:36,339 --> 00:29:38,964
Exactly!
It's, it's a great
people repellent.
714
00:29:39,839 --> 00:29:41,923
-(groans)
-You know, look.
When you're a celebrity,
715
00:29:42,005 --> 00:29:44,589
you can do anything you want.
You can grab 'em by the pussy--
716
00:29:44,673 --> 00:29:46,589
-What did you say?
-What?
717
00:29:46,673 --> 00:29:48,130
Why are you wearing
a bathrobe?
718
00:29:48,214 --> 00:29:51,798
-And that hat!
-Oh, no, no! No, I--
(stammering)
719
00:29:51,881 --> 00:29:54,547
Oh, my God!
You're friends
with that monster?
720
00:29:54,631 --> 00:29:55,798
-No, I'm--
-Alice: No!
721
00:29:55,881 --> 00:29:57,756
-No, no, no, no, no!
-No! No, no, I'm just--
722
00:29:57,839 --> 00:29:58,923
Alice:
I'm getting a lawyer!
723
00:29:59,005 --> 00:30:00,631
No! What? Hey! What?
724
00:30:00,714 --> 00:30:02,130
No! I'm in the bathrobe
725
00:30:02,214 --> 00:30:03,631
'cause your fuckin' dog
got hair
726
00:30:03,714 --> 00:30:04,839
all over my cereal bowl,
727
00:30:04,923 --> 00:30:06,506
and that's not Weinstein!
728
00:30:06,589 --> 00:30:09,214
♪ ♪
729
00:30:28,673 --> 00:30:31,297
-I'll take it.
-It's all yours.
730
00:30:31,381 --> 00:30:34,381
♪
731
00:30:43,214 --> 00:30:44,464
What are you doin' here, Larry?
732
00:30:44,547 --> 00:30:46,130
I thought I told
you to get out
and not come back.
733
00:30:46,214 --> 00:30:48,923
Yeah, so you did, Mocha Joe.
So you did.
734
00:30:49,005 --> 00:30:50,756
I've merely come to inform you
735
00:30:50,839 --> 00:30:53,464
that I have leased
the place next door,
736
00:30:53,547 --> 00:30:56,047
where I'll be opening up
a coffee shop
737
00:30:56,130 --> 00:30:58,172
exactly the same as yours.
738
00:30:58,255 --> 00:31:00,714
Only charging
much lower prices.
739
00:31:00,798 --> 00:31:02,839
All for the express purpose
740
00:31:02,923 --> 00:31:04,756
of taking you down.
741
00:31:04,839 --> 00:31:07,089
Knock yourself out.
I welcome the competition.
742
00:31:07,172 --> 00:31:09,714
-Yeah.
-I'm not afraid of you.
You don't have the beans.
743
00:31:09,798 --> 00:31:12,964
I'm the only guy
in Los Angeles
who has these beans.
744
00:31:13,047 --> 00:31:15,130
-Yeah. I'll get beans.
-Oh, you won't find
better beans
745
00:31:15,214 --> 00:31:16,589
-than my beans.
-I'll get better beans.
746
00:31:16,673 --> 00:31:18,381
-No such thing as better beans.
-There are better beans,
747
00:31:18,464 --> 00:31:19,923
-Mocha Joe.
-No better beans, Larry.
748
00:31:20,005 --> 00:31:22,339
-I will find better beans.
-Mm-hmm, good luck.
749
00:31:22,422 --> 00:31:24,005
See ya, Larry.
750
00:31:24,089 --> 00:31:26,297
-You know what
I'm gonna call it?
-What?
751
00:31:26,381 --> 00:31:29,172
Latte Larry's.
752
00:31:33,631 --> 00:31:36,130
(panting)
753
00:31:39,130 --> 00:31:41,047
(doorbell chimes)
754
00:31:41,130 --> 00:31:43,756
♪
755
00:31:54,964 --> 00:31:56,589
Can I come in?
756
00:31:57,881 --> 00:31:59,130
Y-yes.
757
00:31:59,214 --> 00:32:00,714
-Yes, yes.
-Are you sure?
758
00:32:00,798 --> 00:32:03,547
Yeah, I'm positive.
I'm a little surprised,
is all.
759
00:32:03,631 --> 00:32:05,339
-Come in.
-Okay.
760
00:32:05,422 --> 00:32:06,589
-Wow.
-Well...
761
00:32:06,673 --> 00:32:08,089
Holy cow. I can't--
762
00:32:08,172 --> 00:32:10,422
-I can't believe you're here.
-You told me, right? I mean--
763
00:32:10,506 --> 00:32:12,839
Um...
764
00:32:14,964 --> 00:32:16,381
Give me two minutes.
765
00:32:16,464 --> 00:32:18,547
Two minutes.
I'll be right back.
Stay right there.
766
00:32:22,673 --> 00:32:25,756
-Leon: Ha-ha! (yells)
-(TV playing indistinctly)
767
00:32:25,839 --> 00:32:27,839
(Leon laughing)
768
00:32:28,089 --> 00:32:30,005
(knocking continues)
769
00:32:30,839 --> 00:32:33,005
-Fuckin' my movie up.
What you want?
-I need that talcum powder.
770
00:32:33,089 --> 00:32:36,464
-What you got goin' on?
-It's an emergency.
Get me the talcum powder!
771
00:32:36,547 --> 00:32:37,673
Leon:
Fuck!
772
00:32:38,422 --> 00:32:40,005
Who you tappin'?
773
00:32:40,089 --> 00:32:41,631
Cheryl.
774
00:32:42,089 --> 00:32:46,297
What? My man Larry David
re-tappin' that ass!
775
00:32:51,547 --> 00:32:52,881
Ooh.
776
00:32:54,047 --> 00:32:55,381
Ooh.
777
00:32:55,464 --> 00:32:57,464
-(Cheryl coughing)
-(Larry coughing)
778
00:32:57,547 --> 00:32:59,714
(huffing, coughing)
779
00:32:59,798 --> 00:33:02,839
(Cheryl gasps)
Did you powder down there?
780
00:33:02,923 --> 00:33:05,631
-No good?
-(coughs) I'm allergic.
781
00:33:05,714 --> 00:33:08,381
Oh! Oh, my God.
782
00:33:08,464 --> 00:33:10,422
-Oh, my God.
-(coughing)
783
00:33:10,506 --> 00:33:12,005
-Oh, my God.
-(gasping)
784
00:33:12,089 --> 00:33:14,589
-Oh! Call 9-1-1!
-(coughing)
785
00:33:14,673 --> 00:33:17,422
-Easy.
-(coughing)
786
00:33:17,714 --> 00:33:19,506
Hey. Jesus, slow down.
787
00:33:19,589 --> 00:33:22,381
-What happened?
-Oh, she, uh, swallowed
some talcum powder,
788
00:33:22,464 --> 00:33:24,339
and is having
an allergic reaction to it.
789
00:33:24,422 --> 00:33:25,756
Did she ingest anything else?
790
00:33:26,089 --> 00:33:27,589
(gasps)
791
00:33:27,881 --> 00:33:30,214
Kind of a personal question,
don't you think?
792
00:33:33,923 --> 00:33:35,422
So sorry!
793
00:33:37,714 --> 00:33:39,589
Oh, my God.
You look so much better.
794
00:33:39,673 --> 00:33:42,214
-Do I?
-Oh. (stammering)
Are you kidding?
795
00:33:42,297 --> 00:33:44,130
I couldn't even
look at you before.
I mean, it was...
796
00:33:44,214 --> 00:33:47,339
really, like, hideous.
You looked... disgusting.
797
00:33:47,422 --> 00:33:49,047
I could barely glance at you.
798
00:33:49,130 --> 00:33:50,673
Yeah, because of you.
799
00:33:50,756 --> 00:33:52,130
-Yeah.
-You're the one that
800
00:33:52,214 --> 00:33:54,172
put the talcum powder--
Uh, I'm allergic, and you--
801
00:33:54,255 --> 00:33:56,839
-It's because of you.
-Yeah. Yeah,
I'm sorry about that.
802
00:33:56,923 --> 00:33:58,964
Yeah. But you know,
I was thinking,
803
00:33:59,047 --> 00:34:01,839
if that happened
when we were married
and your face...
804
00:34:01,923 --> 00:34:04,381
for some reason,
stayed that way,
805
00:34:04,923 --> 00:34:06,506
what would I have done?
806
00:34:06,964 --> 00:34:08,714
What do you mean
what would you have done?
807
00:34:08,798 --> 00:34:11,714
Well, I mean,
could I have lived with you
looking like that?
808
00:34:11,798 --> 00:34:14,047
-You're such an asshole.
-(both laughing)
809
00:34:14,130 --> 00:34:17,422
You are such... I mean, I'm,
I'm fighting for my life,
810
00:34:17,506 --> 00:34:19,547
and this is what you're...
Susie?
811
00:34:19,631 --> 00:34:20,798
What are you guys doing here?
812
00:34:21,297 --> 00:34:22,839
What are you--
What are you doing here?
813
00:34:22,923 --> 00:34:25,214
Susie:
Randi had contractions,
and...
814
00:34:25,297 --> 00:34:27,714
She's walking around the halls
trying to induce,
815
00:34:27,798 --> 00:34:30,547
'cause nothing's happening,
so I thought I'd come
and keep her company.
816
00:34:30,631 --> 00:34:33,339
-Randi's here?
-Yeah. Cheryl, what happened?
817
00:34:33,422 --> 00:34:36,464
-She got stung by a wasp.
-I had an allergic reaction
to shellfish.
818
00:34:37,547 --> 00:34:38,881
Okay.
819
00:34:38,964 --> 00:34:42,339
I knew it.
I knew something was
going on with you two.
820
00:34:42,422 --> 00:34:43,714
I could smell it.
821
00:34:43,798 --> 00:34:45,881
That night at our house.
The ventriloquist.
822
00:34:45,964 --> 00:34:49,047
He drove you home.
Something's been going on here.
823
00:34:49,130 --> 00:34:50,673
I knew it. I knew it!
824
00:34:50,756 --> 00:34:52,798
Bravo!
825
00:34:52,881 --> 00:34:54,422
-Bravo, Poirot.
-(phone chimes)
826
00:34:54,506 --> 00:34:56,255
Cheryl:
Oh, no. Hey.
827
00:34:56,339 --> 00:35:00,422
-Ted is in the garage.
-Larry: What?
828
00:35:00,506 --> 00:35:02,297
-He's on his way up.
-Larry: What?
829
00:35:02,381 --> 00:35:03,589
You-- You can't be here.
830
00:35:03,673 --> 00:35:05,506
You better leave.
You better leave, Larry.
831
00:35:05,589 --> 00:35:07,255
How does he--
How does he know
you're in the hospital?
832
00:35:07,339 --> 00:35:08,756
Because he just flew in
from San Francisco
833
00:35:08,839 --> 00:35:10,172
and he texted me
when he landed. I...
834
00:35:10,255 --> 00:35:12,005
Because he's her
significant other,
835
00:35:12,089 --> 00:35:13,756
and you're her
significant nothing!
836
00:35:13,839 --> 00:35:16,214
-Just keep your
fuckin' trap shut!
-Susie: Go!
837
00:35:17,756 --> 00:35:18,714
Oh.
838
00:35:19,506 --> 00:35:21,464
-(Larry grunts)
-Hey!
839
00:35:21,839 --> 00:35:23,631
-(Larry grunts)
-Doctor: Just slow down!
840
00:35:24,172 --> 00:35:25,964
-Excuse me, sir!
-(Larry grunts)
841
00:35:28,005 --> 00:35:30,005
(Larry and Randi shriek)
842
00:35:31,089 --> 00:35:33,381
-God!
-Larry: Oh! Oh, my God!
843
00:35:33,464 --> 00:35:35,255
-Larry!
-You?
844
00:35:35,339 --> 00:35:38,130
Are you fucking kidding me,
you piece of shit?
845
00:35:38,214 --> 00:35:40,255
Okay, if anything
happens to this baby,
846
00:35:40,339 --> 00:35:41,756
it's gonna be your fault.
847
00:35:41,839 --> 00:35:43,631
Oh, please.
After what that fetus
has been through,
848
00:35:43,714 --> 00:35:45,172
this'll be a day
at the beach.
849
00:35:46,047 --> 00:35:47,714
Happy New Year!
850
00:35:48,506 --> 00:35:50,673
(theme music playing)
851
00:36:52,589 --> 00:36:53,589
LARRY DAVID:
It's a coffee place.
852
00:36:53,923 --> 00:36:55,464
I'm opening up a spite store
to take him out of business.
853
00:36:55,547 --> 00:36:57,923
I don't know what a spite store
is and I don't really care.
854
00:36:58,005 --> 00:36:59,047
♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
855
00:36:59,130 --> 00:37:00,714
Can I give you a little tip?
856
00:37:00,798 --> 00:37:02,297
If you're gonna
confront somebody,
857
00:37:02,381 --> 00:37:04,089
better to do it with pants on.
858
00:37:04,172 --> 00:37:05,089
The shorts...
859
00:37:05,422 --> 00:37:07,756
It's hard to take a person
seriously wearing shorts.
860
00:37:07,839 --> 00:37:09,172
I wanna give you a heads up.
861
00:37:09,381 --> 00:37:10,714
Susie's birthday's
in about a week.
862
00:37:10,798 --> 00:37:12,756
I already got her something.
It's gonna be a nice surprise.
863
00:37:12,839 --> 00:37:13,798
What is it?
864
00:37:14,714 --> 00:37:15,881
JEFF GARLIN:
What were you thinking?
865
00:37:15,964 --> 00:37:17,089
I'm done with presents!
866
00:37:17,172 --> 00:37:18,339
My birthday's coming up
in a month.
867
00:37:18,422 --> 00:37:19,798
-What are you getting me?!
-Nothing!
868
00:37:19,881 --> 00:37:21,714
-Oh, thank you!
-You're welcome!
869
00:37:21,798 --> 00:37:22,589
(GROANS)
870
00:37:22,673 --> 00:37:24,673
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
67774
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