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1
00:00:08,110 --> 00:00:10,194
( theme music playing )
2
00:00:15,110 --> 00:00:18,319
And you feel a string
pulling you up top,
3
00:00:18,319 --> 00:00:21,235
and your feet
planting you
on the earth.
4
00:00:21,235 --> 00:00:23,569
- ( Leon exhales )
- And raise your arms up.
5
00:00:23,569 --> 00:00:26,194
If you can,
look up.
6
00:00:26,194 --> 00:00:29,319
Absorbing the energy
of the room.
7
00:00:29,319 --> 00:00:30,778
And come out of it.
8
00:00:30,778 --> 00:00:32,694
- Fantastic, yogis.
- ( Leon exhales, grunts )
9
00:00:32,694 --> 00:00:34,736
Now let's get down
to the floor.
10
00:00:34,736 --> 00:00:37,611
First, we'll start
on our shoulders
11
00:00:37,611 --> 00:00:39,486
and a little
shoulder stand.
12
00:00:39,486 --> 00:00:42,736
- Toes up to the sky...
- I would fuck her. Damn!
13
00:00:42,736 --> 00:00:44,694
- You like that?
- Fucking love that shit.
14
00:00:44,694 --> 00:00:46,611
- ( chuckles )
- Yeah.
15
00:00:46,611 --> 00:00:49,903
Tina:
And fold our legs
over into plow.
16
00:00:49,903 --> 00:00:52,486
And let's take
one more breath
together as a group.
17
00:00:52,486 --> 00:00:54,152
- ( Leon exhales )
- Inhale.
18
00:00:54,152 --> 00:00:56,736
- ( all inhaling )
- Take one more sip of air,
19
00:00:56,736 --> 00:00:59,486
and down
to heart's center,
20
00:00:59,486 --> 00:01:01,277
and namaste.
21
00:01:01,277 --> 00:01:03,444
All:
Namaste.
22
00:01:03,444 --> 00:01:05,611
Tina:
Thank you, yogis.
See you tomorrow.
23
00:01:05,611 --> 00:01:07,903
Thank you, yogi.
( chuckles )
24
00:01:09,152 --> 00:01:10,778
I wanted to do
the downward dog.
25
00:01:10,778 --> 00:01:12,486
That's my
favorite one.
26
00:01:12,486 --> 00:01:16,110
- You love that downward dog.
- Leon: I'm a big dog.
27
00:01:16,110 --> 00:01:18,319
- Excuse me.
Larry, was it?
- Larry: Yes.
28
00:01:18,319 --> 00:01:20,944
Um, I just noticed
that you didn't, uh,
29
00:01:20,944 --> 00:01:22,819
namaste
with the other yogis.
30
00:01:22,819 --> 00:01:25,486
Yeah,
not a namaste guy.
31
00:01:25,486 --> 00:01:27,611
I don't participate
in group activities.
32
00:01:27,611 --> 00:01:29,402
You know, I don't sing
the birthday song.
33
00:01:29,402 --> 00:01:31,819
"Happy birthday to you",
you know, so, you know.
34
00:01:31,819 --> 00:01:33,653
Namaste means
"the light within me
35
00:01:33,653 --> 00:01:35,402
greets the light
within you."
36
00:01:35,402 --> 00:01:38,194
There is no light within me,
that's the only problem there.
37
00:01:38,194 --> 00:01:39,861
Well, why don't you try it?
Why don't you just
38
00:01:39,861 --> 00:01:42,444
try a little namaste
and see how it feels?
39
00:01:42,444 --> 00:01:43,694
I know how
it's gonna feel.
40
00:01:43,694 --> 00:01:44,903
I'm gonna feel
like an idiot.
41
00:01:44,903 --> 00:01:46,152
Well, no one's
here now.
42
00:01:46,152 --> 00:01:47,569
Why don't you
just try it?
43
00:01:47,569 --> 00:01:49,152
My third eye
is watching.
44
00:01:49,152 --> 00:01:50,736
That's not how
the third eye works.
45
00:01:50,736 --> 00:01:52,694
You know how
the third eye works, huh?
46
00:01:52,694 --> 00:01:54,444
- I've studied it
for many years, yes.
- Is that so?
47
00:01:54,444 --> 00:01:56,235
Here, watch, here's what I
think about the third eye.
48
00:01:56,235 --> 00:01:58,110
- See? Look, I'm poking it.
- That's disrespectful.
49
00:01:58,110 --> 00:01:59,944
- Doesn't hurt at all.
- It's-- it's disrespectful.
50
00:01:59,944 --> 00:02:01,152
- Look. Yeah, yeah.
- It's disrespectful.
51
00:02:01,152 --> 00:02:02,861
Just don't do that
to your third eye.
52
00:02:02,861 --> 00:02:04,361
I wouldn't do it
to my two eyes,
the real eyes.
53
00:02:04,361 --> 00:02:05,861
Right, right.
The third eye's real.
54
00:02:05,861 --> 00:02:07,736
There's no-- there's no
imaginary eye there.
55
00:02:07,736 --> 00:02:09,486
- Are you familiar
with etiquette?
- By the way,
56
00:02:09,486 --> 00:02:11,152
- can I say something?
- Mm-hmm.
57
00:02:11,152 --> 00:02:12,527
It's really
hot in here.
58
00:02:12,527 --> 00:02:13,903
Well, it's
hot yoga.
59
00:02:13,903 --> 00:02:15,069
Does it have
to be this hot?
60
00:02:15,069 --> 00:02:16,235
I mean, it's,
you know--
61
00:02:16,235 --> 00:02:17,361
Larry,
you're here to be
62
00:02:17,361 --> 00:02:18,903
a part of our
spiritual community.
63
00:02:18,903 --> 00:02:21,569
No, I'm here because
I have a bad hamstring.
64
00:02:21,569 --> 00:02:25,319
If you're not gonna
acknowledge the light
within yourself,
65
00:02:25,319 --> 00:02:28,235
then you can leave.
66
00:02:28,235 --> 00:02:30,027
You can leave
and you cannot come back.
67
00:02:30,027 --> 00:02:31,069
Wow.
68
00:02:31,069 --> 00:02:32,778
That's very
"unyogi-ish" of you.
69
00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:35,903
- Get the fuck out.
- You just made my day.
70
00:02:35,903 --> 00:02:37,110
Okay.
71
00:02:37,110 --> 00:02:39,444
Namaste!
72
00:02:42,486 --> 00:02:45,027
( Leon chuckles )
73
00:02:45,027 --> 00:02:46,861
Guess whose
number I got.
74
00:02:47,903 --> 00:02:49,194
- Yogi Tina?
- Yeah.
75
00:02:49,194 --> 00:02:51,027
Nice!
76
00:02:51,027 --> 00:02:52,736
Guess who just
threw me out of class
77
00:02:52,736 --> 00:02:54,653
and told me
never to come back.
78
00:02:54,653 --> 00:02:58,027
- Yogi Tina?
- Yeah, Yogi Tina.
79
00:02:58,027 --> 00:03:00,277
- Oh, what?
- Yeah, kicked me out!
80
00:03:00,277 --> 00:03:03,402
- The fuck did you do?
- I wouldn't say namaste.
81
00:03:03,402 --> 00:03:05,235
Man, you gotta say
namaste, man.
82
00:03:05,235 --> 00:03:07,152
Oh, get
the fuck out of here.
That's so stupid.
83
00:03:07,152 --> 00:03:09,319
You know what, it's
so goddamn hot in there,
I don't care.
84
00:03:09,319 --> 00:03:11,486
- That's what hot--
- Man, what are you doing?
I gotta back up.
85
00:03:11,486 --> 00:03:12,985
Back the fuck up.
You good!
86
00:03:12,985 --> 00:03:15,110
- Larry: I can't see shit!
- Leon: Fuckin-- whoa!
87
00:03:15,110 --> 00:03:16,819
Larry:
What the-- oh, shit!
88
00:03:16,819 --> 00:03:19,444
- Oh, fuck!
- ( music playing
over radio )
89
00:03:19,444 --> 00:03:22,486
- ( metal crunching )
- Larry: God damn it!
90
00:03:22,486 --> 00:03:24,611
You see? You know what?
This is all your fault!
91
00:03:24,611 --> 00:03:26,778
You fiddled with the radio
and the backup camera
didn't work.
92
00:03:26,778 --> 00:03:28,027
- You fucked up!
- No, you fucked up!
93
00:03:28,027 --> 00:03:29,110
No, no, no!
You fucked up!
94
00:03:29,110 --> 00:03:30,110
Don't blame me
for that shit!
95
00:03:32,778 --> 00:03:34,444
- Wow.
- Oh, geez.
96
00:03:34,444 --> 00:03:36,569
- You fucked
this car up good.
- Damn it.
97
00:03:36,569 --> 00:03:37,611
Look at that.
98
00:03:37,611 --> 00:03:39,778
That's bad.
99
00:03:39,778 --> 00:03:41,611
What you
gonna write?
100
00:03:41,611 --> 00:03:42,985
I'm gonna tell them
I'm sorry
101
00:03:42,985 --> 00:03:44,277
and leave my name
and, uh, number.
102
00:03:44,277 --> 00:03:46,444
- What else can I do?
- I wouldn't write shit!
103
00:03:46,444 --> 00:03:47,527
Just drive
the fuck off!
104
00:03:47,527 --> 00:03:48,736
I'm not
gonna do that!
105
00:03:48,736 --> 00:03:50,653
I follow
the golden rule, okay?
106
00:03:50,653 --> 00:03:52,611
"Do unto others
as you'd have others
do unto you."
107
00:03:52,611 --> 00:03:55,110
- The golden rule.
- I follow the golden rule, too.
108
00:03:55,110 --> 00:03:56,736
My friend Jasper's
golden.
109
00:03:56,736 --> 00:03:58,402
"Fuck them
or they'll fuck you."
110
00:03:58,402 --> 00:03:59,985
- Mm-hmm.
- Interesting rule.
111
00:03:59,985 --> 00:04:00,819
Yeah.
112
00:04:06,152 --> 00:04:08,985
Susie: Thankfully,
Victor's doing better,
so the wedding's on.
113
00:04:08,985 --> 00:04:11,861
- The wedding is happening.
- Wow. Oh, boy.
114
00:04:11,861 --> 00:04:15,486
- What?
- I would be
a little concerned
115
00:04:15,486 --> 00:04:17,152
- if it was my daughter.
- Well, you know,
116
00:04:17,152 --> 00:04:19,027
there's no accounting
for who's attracted to--
117
00:04:19,027 --> 00:04:20,319
look, I'm attracted
to Jeff.
118
00:04:20,319 --> 00:04:21,985
Go figure that one.
119
00:04:21,985 --> 00:04:23,402
Or, oh,
120
00:04:23,402 --> 00:04:24,402
listen to this--
121
00:04:24,402 --> 00:04:25,861
speaking of taste.
122
00:04:25,861 --> 00:04:27,778
I have a friend
who asked us a favor
123
00:04:27,778 --> 00:04:28,985
if I could
set her up with you.
124
00:04:30,402 --> 00:04:31,569
What?
What's this?
125
00:04:31,569 --> 00:04:33,736
- Yes. Yes.
- Really?
126
00:04:33,736 --> 00:04:35,819
Now I told her--
I read her chapter on verse
127
00:04:35,819 --> 00:04:37,402
on what an asshole
you are,
128
00:04:37,402 --> 00:04:38,611
and what
a horrible idea,
129
00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:40,486
but she would hear
none of it.
130
00:04:40,486 --> 00:04:41,944
She wants
to go out with you.
131
00:04:41,944 --> 00:04:43,569
Do-does she know
about the fatwa?
132
00:04:43,569 --> 00:04:45,235
Yeah,
and guess what?
133
00:04:45,235 --> 00:04:47,319
That turned her on!
134
00:04:47,319 --> 00:04:49,110
Hmm. Is she
good-looking?
135
00:04:49,110 --> 00:04:50,569
Yeah, very pretty.
136
00:04:50,569 --> 00:04:52,027
Like to see
a picture.
137
00:04:52,027 --> 00:04:53,527
( chuckles )
138
00:04:53,527 --> 00:04:55,277
You want to see
a picture?
139
00:04:55,277 --> 00:04:57,985
Who the fuck are you
to ask for a picture
of anybody?
140
00:04:57,985 --> 00:05:00,361
- ( laughs )
- Y-you are on
an Uber rating,
141
00:05:00,361 --> 00:05:01,819
you're like a--
a two.
142
00:05:01,819 --> 00:05:03,569
- A two?
- On a good day.
On a good day!
143
00:05:03,569 --> 00:05:05,861
- Fuck you!
A two, okay?
- Yeah.
144
00:05:05,861 --> 00:05:07,027
- Yeah.
- ( chuckles )
145
00:05:07,027 --> 00:05:08,569
I'm a four, baby!
146
00:05:08,569 --> 00:05:11,110
- I'm an Uber four.
- You are so delusional.
147
00:05:11,110 --> 00:05:12,611
- I'm delusional?
- Yes!
148
00:05:12,611 --> 00:05:14,361
Let me tell you something,
if I was a two,
149
00:05:14,361 --> 00:05:15,569
I would kill myself.
150
00:05:15,569 --> 00:05:18,069
I-- I could not live
on this planet as a two.
151
00:05:18,069 --> 00:05:19,611
Hi, Jeffy.
152
00:05:19,611 --> 00:05:22,694
- Hey.
- Hey.
153
00:05:22,694 --> 00:05:26,235
Did you call your friend
about the-- about the car?
154
00:05:26,235 --> 00:05:28,653
- It's good to have
a mechanic as a friend.
- Jeff: Sorry about that.
155
00:05:28,653 --> 00:05:31,069
- ( touch tones beeping )
- You know this Bridget
friend of hers?
156
00:05:31,069 --> 00:05:32,527
Yeah.
157
00:05:32,527 --> 00:05:34,486
- She good looking?
- Bridget? Beautiful.
158
00:05:34,486 --> 00:05:35,903
- Really?
- Beautiful.
159
00:05:35,903 --> 00:05:36,861
Great girl.
160
00:05:36,861 --> 00:05:38,402
Great sense of humor.
161
00:05:38,402 --> 00:05:40,903
He would be lucky to have her,
I'll tell you that much.
162
00:05:40,903 --> 00:05:42,444
And she lucky
to have him.
163
00:05:42,444 --> 00:05:43,944
That's--
that's the pal!
164
00:05:43,944 --> 00:05:45,319
What's wrong
with you?
165
00:05:45,319 --> 00:05:46,903
I-- I tried to
talk her out of it.
166
00:05:46,903 --> 00:05:48,903
I got, uh,
my friend Larry.
167
00:05:48,903 --> 00:05:51,277
All right, I'm gonna
put you on speakerphone.
All right.
168
00:05:51,277 --> 00:05:54,277
- Hey, Greg.
- Greg: Hey,
what's going on?
169
00:05:54,277 --> 00:05:55,944
Oh, not much.
170
00:05:55,944 --> 00:05:57,653
How is it, uh,
we've never met?
171
00:05:57,653 --> 00:05:59,235
Why is Jeff
keeping us apart?
172
00:05:59,235 --> 00:06:00,653
I have no clue.
173
00:06:00,653 --> 00:06:02,486
He said nothing
but wonderful things about you.
174
00:06:02,486 --> 00:06:03,778
I feel like
I know you already.
175
00:06:03,778 --> 00:06:05,694
Yeah, he's told me a lot
about you, too.
176
00:06:05,694 --> 00:06:07,069
Yeah, how's it going?
177
00:06:07,069 --> 00:06:08,778
Anyway,
this car, I--
178
00:06:08,778 --> 00:06:11,319
something happened
to my fender or bumper
or whatever.
179
00:06:11,319 --> 00:06:12,819
I banged into someone,
and, uh,
180
00:06:12,819 --> 00:06:15,235
- can I bring it over?
- Absolutely.
181
00:06:15,235 --> 00:06:16,819
Bring it by now,
as a matter of fact,
182
00:06:16,819 --> 00:06:18,194
and we can have it
hammered out maybe
183
00:06:18,194 --> 00:06:19,235
in the next couple days.
184
00:06:19,235 --> 00:06:21,277
Wow, okay. Great.
185
00:06:21,277 --> 00:06:23,444
- Doesn't even do that for me.
- Larry: Huh.
186
00:06:23,444 --> 00:06:25,110
All right,
I'll see you soon.
Thank you.
187
00:06:25,110 --> 00:06:27,611
- No problem.
- Larry: The-- the picture.
188
00:06:27,611 --> 00:06:30,069
- Can we get
the picture going?
- What picture?
189
00:06:30,069 --> 00:06:32,069
Susie: What, of Bridget?
You're not getting
a fucking picture.
190
00:06:32,069 --> 00:06:33,985
- Trust me.
- You know,
can I just say, Larry...
191
00:06:33,985 --> 00:06:36,569
- Trust me.
- ...not only is she
a beautiful woman,
192
00:06:36,569 --> 00:06:39,611
but more important,
inner beauty.
193
00:06:39,611 --> 00:06:40,944
That I'm not
interested in.
194
00:06:40,944 --> 00:06:42,985
- Asshole.
- Yeah.
195
00:06:42,985 --> 00:06:44,444
- All right.
- See you later.
196
00:06:44,444 --> 00:06:46,694
( drill whirring )
197
00:06:48,569 --> 00:06:49,903
- Oh, hey.
- How you doing?
198
00:06:49,903 --> 00:06:52,027
- I'm looking for Greg.
- Ah, I'm Greg.
199
00:06:52,027 --> 00:06:54,861
- Oh, hey, L-Larry.
Jeff's friend.
- Oh!
200
00:06:54,861 --> 00:06:57,653
- We, uh--
we talked on the phone.
- On the phone, yeah, yeah.
201
00:06:57,653 --> 00:06:59,819
- How you doing?
Nice to meet you.
- Eh, you're black.
202
00:06:59,819 --> 00:07:01,861
- Ye-- yes.
- Ah.
203
00:07:01,861 --> 00:07:03,653
Yes, I'm--
is that a problem?
204
00:07:03,653 --> 00:07:06,152
- No, of course not.
- Okay, good.
205
00:07:06,152 --> 00:07:07,444
Just surprised
Jeff didn't mention it.
206
00:07:07,444 --> 00:07:09,110
Why would he
have to mention it?
207
00:07:09,110 --> 00:07:10,653
Eh, because most
white people with
black friends
208
00:07:10,653 --> 00:07:12,653
like to show off
about it, that's all.
209
00:07:12,653 --> 00:07:14,235
Well, I can see
I've offended you.
210
00:07:14,235 --> 00:07:16,486
That-- b-believe me,
that wasn't my intention.
211
00:07:16,486 --> 00:07:18,611
- Ah, well.
- Yeah, I'm not, uh--
212
00:07:18,611 --> 00:07:21,277
I'm not prejudiced
in any way...
213
00:07:21,277 --> 00:07:23,903
- I-- I get it.
- ...towards any group,
except my own, of course.
214
00:07:23,903 --> 00:07:27,527
All right, uh,
we've gotten off
on the wrong foot, obviously.
215
00:07:27,527 --> 00:07:29,235
Um, let's talk
about the car.
216
00:07:29,235 --> 00:07:30,653
- Yes, let's. Okay.
- Okay.
217
00:07:30,653 --> 00:07:32,736
There's a problem
with the, uh,
218
00:07:32,736 --> 00:07:34,319
the fender,
like I said, yeah.
219
00:07:34,319 --> 00:07:35,819
Ah, well,
that's a bumper.
220
00:07:35,819 --> 00:07:38,361
And yes, there's
a problem with it.
221
00:07:38,361 --> 00:07:40,944
All right, so, um,
how long you think
it'll take?
222
00:07:40,944 --> 00:07:42,361
You know,
we'll call you.
223
00:07:42,361 --> 00:07:44,361
I don't-- yeah.
We'll call you.
224
00:07:44,361 --> 00:07:45,903
Any loaners?
225
00:07:45,903 --> 00:07:47,361
Nope.
226
00:07:48,736 --> 00:07:50,194
All right.
227
00:07:50,194 --> 00:07:51,069
I'll call an Uber.
228
00:07:53,194 --> 00:07:55,778
Again, sorry if I, uh,
offended you in any way.
229
00:07:55,778 --> 00:07:58,069
You know what...
230
00:07:58,069 --> 00:07:59,861
Okay.
231
00:08:02,569 --> 00:08:03,985
All right.
Okay, yeah.
232
00:08:06,277 --> 00:08:09,235
You have, uh, water
an chewing gums,
if you like.
233
00:08:09,235 --> 00:08:11,903
Yeah?
Well, that's
very nice of you.
234
00:08:11,903 --> 00:08:14,152
- Where you from?
- I am from Romania.
235
00:08:14,152 --> 00:08:15,235
- Romania?
- Yeah.
236
00:08:15,235 --> 00:08:16,444
Ah. Bucharest?
237
00:08:16,444 --> 00:08:17,569
Ah, you know
Bucharest?
238
00:08:17,569 --> 00:08:18,944
Yeah,
you like that, huh?
239
00:08:18,944 --> 00:08:21,110
- I know my geography.
- Very nice. You do.
240
00:08:21,110 --> 00:08:22,819
Yeah, most people
would say Budapest.
241
00:08:22,819 --> 00:08:24,319
- Yeah.
- So, let me
ask you a question.
242
00:08:24,319 --> 00:08:26,486
I was having
a little dispute
with my friend,
243
00:08:26,486 --> 00:08:30,903
um, as to what
my Uber rating
would be, looks-wise,
244
00:08:30,903 --> 00:08:32,319
from a scale
of one to five.
245
00:08:32,319 --> 00:08:33,736
If you were gonna
fix me up with
your sister--
246
00:08:33,736 --> 00:08:35,611
- do you have a sister?
- I do.
247
00:08:35,611 --> 00:08:37,319
Okay, so if you were
gonna fix me up with her,
248
00:08:37,319 --> 00:08:39,235
what, uh--
what would you
rate me looks-wise?
249
00:08:39,235 --> 00:08:40,903
- Just curious.
- One to five?
250
00:08:40,903 --> 00:08:42,361
Yeah.
251
00:08:42,361 --> 00:08:43,736
Okay, I am
very honest.
252
00:08:43,736 --> 00:08:45,486
I am an
honest person.
253
00:08:45,486 --> 00:08:46,903
So I will be
honest with you.
254
00:08:46,903 --> 00:08:48,527
You are a two.
255
00:08:48,527 --> 00:08:50,110
- A two?
- Two.
256
00:08:50,110 --> 00:08:52,361
- You gotta be kidding.
- You are older.
257
00:08:52,361 --> 00:08:54,277
- You have few hairs.
- Two?
258
00:08:54,277 --> 00:08:56,778
- Yes.
- I'm not a two,
okay, buddy?
259
00:08:56,778 --> 00:08:58,861
- I'm not a two.
- You live in a fantasy world.
260
00:08:58,861 --> 00:09:00,944
What do you think you are?
What do you think you are?
261
00:09:00,944 --> 00:09:02,861
- Four.
- ( laughs )
A four?!
262
00:09:02,861 --> 00:09:04,736
- Yeah, four.
- A four? I am a three.
263
00:09:04,736 --> 00:09:06,152
- How can you be a four?
- You're a three?
264
00:09:06,152 --> 00:09:07,944
Of course.
I am honest.
265
00:09:07,944 --> 00:09:09,778
I know,
my face is average.
266
00:09:09,778 --> 00:09:11,319
I drive Uber.
I'm a three.
267
00:09:11,319 --> 00:09:13,235
Well, I completely
disagree.
268
00:09:13,235 --> 00:09:14,611
Anyway, you know,
you're from one of the most
269
00:09:14,611 --> 00:09:16,944
unattractive countries,
you know, on the planet.
270
00:09:16,944 --> 00:09:19,110
- No, you don't know what
you're talking about, okay?
- It's all skewed
271
00:09:19,110 --> 00:09:22,027
'cause all you've seen
are unattractive people
your entire life.
272
00:09:22,027 --> 00:09:23,611
So I have to take it
with a grain of salt.
273
00:09:23,611 --> 00:09:25,944
Excuse me,
have you ever been
to the beaches in Mamaia?
274
00:09:25,944 --> 00:09:28,778
Have you seen the women
on the beaches in--
no, you have not.
275
00:09:28,778 --> 00:09:31,277
- Well--
- They're some of the most
beautiful in all of Europe.
276
00:09:31,277 --> 00:09:32,903
Oh, don't-- please,
don't make me laugh.
277
00:09:32,903 --> 00:09:34,819
You're thinking, maybe,
of mountain women.
278
00:09:34,819 --> 00:09:36,319
Okay?
I am not
talking about mou--
279
00:09:36,319 --> 00:09:38,110
I'm talking about
lowland women.
280
00:09:38,110 --> 00:09:41,152
Women of the plains.
The most beautiful
in all of Europe.
281
00:09:41,152 --> 00:09:42,694
- In Romania.
- Okay.
282
00:09:42,694 --> 00:09:44,027
- Okay.
- Yeah.
283
00:09:44,027 --> 00:09:45,819
( phone ringing )
284
00:09:47,152 --> 00:09:48,736
- Hello?
- Man: Larry?
285
00:09:48,736 --> 00:09:50,361
- Yeah?
- This is Justin Brown.
286
00:09:50,361 --> 00:09:53,235
- You, uh-- you hit my car.
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
287
00:09:53,235 --> 00:09:55,778
I'm, uh--
I'm awfully sorry.
288
00:09:55,778 --> 00:09:57,319
Uh, obviously
you got my note.
289
00:09:57,319 --> 00:09:59,653
No, I guessed your number.
Yeah, I got your note.
290
00:09:59,653 --> 00:10:01,778
Look, I really wish
you had hung around
and stayed.
291
00:10:01,778 --> 00:10:03,152
This is, uh--
this is something
292
00:10:03,152 --> 00:10:04,527
that could've been resolved
far earlier.
293
00:10:04,527 --> 00:10:06,985
Well, uh, again,
I apologize.
294
00:10:06,985 --> 00:10:08,361
It was an accident.
295
00:10:08,361 --> 00:10:10,277
Uh, don't I get any credit
for the note?
296
00:10:10,277 --> 00:10:11,778
No, you get zero credit
for leaving a note.
297
00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:13,152
Anyone knows
to leave a note.
298
00:10:13,152 --> 00:10:14,361
A real person
would've hung around
299
00:10:14,361 --> 00:10:15,486
and dealt with this
in person.
300
00:10:15,486 --> 00:10:16,694
It was an accident.
301
00:10:16,694 --> 00:10:18,027
Next time,
I won't leave a note.
302
00:10:18,027 --> 00:10:19,569
- How 'bout that?
- Look, Larry,
303
00:10:19,569 --> 00:10:20,985
you seem like
a complete garbage person.
304
00:10:20,985 --> 00:10:22,402
How are you gonna
pay for this, asshole?
305
00:10:22,402 --> 00:10:24,027
Okay, fuckface,
I'll tell you what.
306
00:10:24,027 --> 00:10:25,985
I will text you
my address.
307
00:10:25,985 --> 00:10:27,527
We don't need to go
through insurance.
308
00:10:27,527 --> 00:10:29,110
And, uh,
we'll set up a time.
309
00:10:29,110 --> 00:10:30,402
You'll come over
and I'll give you a check.
310
00:10:30,402 --> 00:10:31,527
- How's that?
- Fine, but I'm getting
311
00:10:31,527 --> 00:10:32,985
an estimate
from the dealer.
312
00:10:32,985 --> 00:10:34,319
All right,
I-I've had enough of you.
313
00:10:34,319 --> 00:10:35,861
Goodbye.
314
00:10:37,527 --> 00:10:38,694
Fucking asshole.
315
00:10:38,694 --> 00:10:40,319
Hey, could you
do me a favor?
316
00:10:40,319 --> 00:10:41,903
It's about
900 degrees in here.
317
00:10:41,903 --> 00:10:43,402
Could-- could you
turn the heat down
a little bit?
318
00:10:43,402 --> 00:10:45,486
- I'm starting to sweat.
- No.
319
00:10:46,861 --> 00:10:48,235
Larry:
So, I play with Jeff
320
00:10:48,235 --> 00:10:50,194
and a few other guys
most weekends.
321
00:10:50,194 --> 00:10:51,402
At the--
at the country club?
322
00:10:51,402 --> 00:10:53,027
- That's so cute.
- Yeah.
323
00:10:53,027 --> 00:10:55,069
Country club.
That's an odd-sounding word.
324
00:10:55,069 --> 00:10:57,194
Isn't that
what it is, though?
To be honest.
325
00:10:57,194 --> 00:10:58,985
What do you call it?
You try to, like,
326
00:10:58,985 --> 00:11:00,235
make it seem
less fancy.
327
00:11:00,235 --> 00:11:02,235
- At the, uh...
- Uh, golf place.
328
00:11:02,235 --> 00:11:05,027
- Yeah, at the playground.
I meet some of my friends.
- Yeah.
329
00:11:07,903 --> 00:11:09,444
That's very funny.
330
00:11:09,444 --> 00:11:11,444
- You're
kind of funny.
- Oh, wow.
331
00:11:11,444 --> 00:11:14,235
Yeah, I think we're having
kind of a good date here,
don't you think?
332
00:11:14,235 --> 00:11:15,778
- I told Susie...
- Yeah.
333
00:11:15,778 --> 00:11:17,152
...and, boy, did she try
to talk me out of it, but--
334
00:11:17,152 --> 00:11:18,861
She's not a--
not a big fan of mine.
335
00:11:18,861 --> 00:11:21,235
I think the nicest thing
she called you was quirky.
336
00:11:21,235 --> 00:11:24,611
- All she told me about you
was you're an NBC censor.
- Yes.
337
00:11:24,611 --> 00:11:27,444
I see a lot of
dirty words.
338
00:11:27,444 --> 00:11:29,778
- I'll bet.
- It's amazing
what, you know--
339
00:11:29,778 --> 00:11:30,944
what they try
to get away with.
340
00:11:30,944 --> 00:11:32,486
Yeah?
Like what?
341
00:11:32,486 --> 00:11:34,944
They try to get
the penises in,
342
00:11:34,944 --> 00:11:36,861
and the pussy.
343
00:11:36,861 --> 00:11:39,361
Wet pussy,
tight pussy,
hot pussy.
344
00:11:39,361 --> 00:11:41,694
You know, cock,
balls, tits.
345
00:11:41,694 --> 00:11:43,819
You know,
and after a while,
346
00:11:43,819 --> 00:11:45,486
at the end of the day,
I just--
347
00:11:45,486 --> 00:11:46,985
I just
give it to them.
348
00:11:46,985 --> 00:11:48,319
- Yeah.
- You know?
349
00:11:48,319 --> 00:11:50,235
I can't fight off
the penis forever.
350
00:11:50,235 --> 00:11:52,110
- Just let it in.
- Yeah.
351
00:11:52,110 --> 00:11:54,486
Let it just
slip right in.
352
00:11:54,486 --> 00:11:56,110
Okay.
353
00:11:56,110 --> 00:11:58,402
Larry:
What a fantastic date.
354
00:11:58,402 --> 00:12:00,819
- Not one pause,
not one low.
- No.
355
00:12:00,819 --> 00:12:02,653
The conversations
just move and move.
356
00:12:02,653 --> 00:12:03,736
Great.
357
00:12:03,736 --> 00:12:06,319
In fact,
if I were to go home
358
00:12:06,319 --> 00:12:08,819
and get a phone call
from a friend, okay?
359
00:12:08,819 --> 00:12:10,402
- You-- you be my friend.
Go ahead.
- Okay.
360
00:12:10,402 --> 00:12:12,444
Larry, hey,
I heard you
went out on a date.
361
00:12:12,444 --> 00:12:14,736
- How was it?
- Oh, fantastic.
362
00:12:14,736 --> 00:12:15,903
Really?
Fantastic?
363
00:12:15,903 --> 00:12:17,819
- Really fantastic.
- Wow.
364
00:12:17,819 --> 00:12:20,402
- Really like her a lot.
- Oh!
365
00:12:20,402 --> 00:12:22,069
Not kidding.
And you know what?
366
00:12:22,069 --> 00:12:23,444
She wears glasses.
367
00:12:23,444 --> 00:12:26,277
I love glasses
on a woman.
368
00:12:26,277 --> 00:12:29,235
Oh, she's--
she's pretty
and smart, sexy.
369
00:12:29,235 --> 00:12:31,527
Oh, I'm really a little--
I'm quite--
370
00:12:31,527 --> 00:12:33,110
I'm a little smitten.
I'm a little smitten.
371
00:12:33,110 --> 00:12:34,736
Larry, I haven't
heard you s--
372
00:12:34,736 --> 00:12:37,027
- talk this way in a long time.
- Yes. I know, I know.
373
00:12:37,027 --> 00:12:38,903
- I really like this woman.
- I'm happy for you.
374
00:12:38,903 --> 00:12:40,319
You know,
a couple of things.
375
00:12:40,319 --> 00:12:41,653
Of course,
nobody's perfect.
376
00:12:41,653 --> 00:12:43,653
She-- she has
a strange way
377
00:12:43,653 --> 00:12:45,152
of holding silverware
like a pencil.
378
00:12:45,152 --> 00:12:47,361
She holds it like a pencil.
That I've never seen before.
379
00:12:47,361 --> 00:12:49,778
- That's annoying.
- Yeah, and she keeps
the window open in the car.
380
00:12:49,778 --> 00:12:53,110
- Ugh, air.
- You know, my--
the big question tonight was,
381
00:12:53,110 --> 00:12:55,527
- "Well, how am I gonna end it?
How am I gonna..."
- Mm-hmm.
382
00:12:55,527 --> 00:12:57,027
- "...am I gonna
make a move?"
- Mmm.
383
00:12:57,027 --> 00:12:58,694
Moves, they're tough.
How do you do it?
384
00:12:58,694 --> 00:12:59,861
It's a very
difficult thing.
385
00:12:59,861 --> 00:13:01,985
Wow. So, uh,
what happened?
386
00:13:01,985 --> 00:13:05,235
- Well, I went in
for a-- a kiss.
- Yeah.
387
00:13:05,235 --> 00:13:06,694
You know, and--
388
00:13:06,694 --> 00:13:07,985
Boy:
Who are you?
389
00:13:07,985 --> 00:13:09,486
Oh!
390
00:13:09,486 --> 00:13:11,194
Bridget:
Ah. Hi.
391
00:13:11,194 --> 00:13:13,736
Larry, this is my son Eddie,
that I was telling you about.
392
00:13:13,736 --> 00:13:15,444
- Yeah.
- I didn't think
you were up.
393
00:13:15,444 --> 00:13:17,069
Eddie, this is
our friend Larry.
394
00:13:17,069 --> 00:13:19,194
- Hey.
- Why is Mom
going out with you?
395
00:13:19,194 --> 00:13:21,736
- Bridget: Oh...
- Yeah, no, that's
a very good question, Eddie.
396
00:13:21,736 --> 00:13:23,985
Very good question.
I don't know.
397
00:13:23,985 --> 00:13:25,319
Your head is so shiny.
398
00:13:25,319 --> 00:13:27,944
Bridget:
Okay, honey.
Now, come on.
399
00:13:27,944 --> 00:13:29,611
How 'bout a--
go grab a snack.
400
00:13:29,611 --> 00:13:32,736
- I'm getting a donut.
- No, get something healthy.
401
00:13:32,736 --> 00:13:34,444
( sighs )
402
00:13:34,444 --> 00:13:36,027
And then her son
came down...
403
00:13:36,027 --> 00:13:38,778
- ( chuckles ) So...
- ...and he insulted me.
404
00:13:38,778 --> 00:13:41,402
You know,
and that was the end
of the night, pretty much.
405
00:13:41,402 --> 00:13:43,903
- I'm sorry.
- Ah, no sweat.
406
00:13:43,903 --> 00:13:45,152
He, um...
407
00:13:45,152 --> 00:13:46,361
( whispers )
he has Asperger's.
408
00:13:46,361 --> 00:13:48,110
Ah, Asperger.
409
00:13:48,110 --> 00:13:50,736
- Yeah, he's
on the spectrum.
- Wow. Spectrum?
410
00:13:50,736 --> 00:13:52,569
- Mm-hmm.
- Eddie: Why are these
chocolate sprinkles?
411
00:13:52,569 --> 00:13:53,861
- On the spectrum?
- Mm-hmm.
412
00:13:53,861 --> 00:13:55,194
I only eat
rainbow sprinkles!
413
00:13:55,194 --> 00:13:56,985
I'm so sorry,
but I gotta...
414
00:13:56,985 --> 00:13:58,736
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Ca-call me.
415
00:13:58,736 --> 00:14:00,486
- Okay? M'kay.
- Oh, sure, yeah.
416
00:14:00,486 --> 00:14:02,319
Hey, it was
really fun.
417
00:14:02,319 --> 00:14:03,819
Yeah. Nice. Okay.
418
00:14:03,819 --> 00:14:05,569
You'll-- you'll
find the door.
419
00:14:05,569 --> 00:14:06,611
I'm coming, honey.
420
00:14:09,778 --> 00:14:11,152
Why didn't you tell me
he was black?
421
00:14:11,152 --> 00:14:12,569
What does it matter?
422
00:14:12,569 --> 00:14:13,736
No, it doesn't
matter at all.
423
00:14:13,736 --> 00:14:15,027
You know,
'cause when I got there,
424
00:14:15,027 --> 00:14:16,361
I was surprised
and I blurted something out
425
00:14:16,361 --> 00:14:18,402
and the whole thing
was a disaster.
426
00:14:18,402 --> 00:14:20,152
- What did you blurt out?
- I said I didn't know
you were black.
427
00:14:20,152 --> 00:14:22,444
- Why'd you do that?!
- Because I was surprised.
428
00:14:22,444 --> 00:14:24,944
What were you
surprised about?
429
00:14:24,944 --> 00:14:28,110
Because he didn't sound
black on the phone, okay?!
430
00:14:29,152 --> 00:14:31,277
- Where's Susie?
- Upstairs.
431
00:14:31,277 --> 00:14:33,152
I do know what
he's talking about.
432
00:14:33,152 --> 00:14:36,819
( mumbling )
So stupid.
433
00:14:43,027 --> 00:14:45,402
Oh, Jesus Christ!
What are you doing up here?
434
00:14:45,402 --> 00:14:48,277
This is upstairs.
You don't come upstairs
in somebody's house.
435
00:14:48,277 --> 00:14:50,569
- W-why? What's
so special about--
- This is my boudoir!
436
00:14:50,569 --> 00:14:52,444
It's off-limits!
437
00:14:52,444 --> 00:14:53,778
Off-limits!
438
00:14:53,778 --> 00:14:55,903
Would Mrs. Cleaver
439
00:14:55,903 --> 00:14:57,569
talk that way
to Eddie Haskell
440
00:14:57,569 --> 00:14:59,527
if he came upstairs
to her-- to her bedroom?
441
00:14:59,527 --> 00:15:00,736
Oh, I think so.
442
00:15:00,736 --> 00:15:02,944
Mrs. Cleaver
hated Eddie Haskell
443
00:15:02,944 --> 00:15:05,152
'cause Eddie Haskell
was a kiss-ass,
444
00:15:05,152 --> 00:15:06,861
obsequious,
little shit.
445
00:15:06,861 --> 00:15:08,361
I think he had access
to the house.
446
00:15:08,361 --> 00:15:10,235
But that's because
the boys were upstairs.
447
00:15:10,235 --> 00:15:13,027
Okay, so
all I'm asking for
is Haskell-access.
448
00:15:13,027 --> 00:15:16,235
I want the same--
I want the same privileges
as Eddie Haskell!
449
00:15:16,235 --> 00:15:17,861
- Okay, number one--
- Is that asking too much?!
450
00:15:17,861 --> 00:15:19,194
What are you
doing here anyway?
451
00:15:19,194 --> 00:15:20,361
Why didn't you
tell me
452
00:15:20,361 --> 00:15:23,110
that her kid had...
453
00:15:24,819 --> 00:15:26,819
- you know.
- What?
454
00:15:26,819 --> 00:15:30,486
Ass... Ass...
455
00:15:30,486 --> 00:15:32,402
- What?
- Asper...
456
00:15:32,402 --> 00:15:34,694
- Asperger's.
Yeah, what about it?
- Asperger's.
457
00:15:34,694 --> 00:15:36,611
- Why didn't I tell you?
- Yeah, why didn't you tell me?
458
00:15:36,611 --> 00:15:38,486
Wha-- why should I
have told you?
459
00:15:38,486 --> 00:15:40,527
- You could've
mentioned it.
- I set you up on a date.
460
00:15:40,527 --> 00:15:43,277
You should be lucky
that I even did that for you.
461
00:15:43,277 --> 00:15:45,402
- So, how did it go?
- Pretty damn good.
462
00:15:45,402 --> 00:15:46,444
Really like her.
463
00:15:46,444 --> 00:15:47,736
- Good.
- What she say about me?
464
00:15:47,736 --> 00:15:49,985
( stammering )
She had a good time.
465
00:15:51,861 --> 00:15:54,235
- That's it?
- Mm, she li-- yeah.
466
00:15:54,235 --> 00:15:56,653
- ( chuckles ) What?
- She-- she's had a good time.
467
00:15:56,653 --> 00:15:58,611
- That's all she said?
- That's all she said.
468
00:15:58,611 --> 00:16:00,444
I'll tell you what.
469
00:16:00,444 --> 00:16:02,194
- I was about to make a move
on the couch...
- Yeah?
470
00:16:02,194 --> 00:16:04,277
...and that
little prick son
ruined it for me.
471
00:16:04,277 --> 00:16:06,736
Aw.
My heart
is breaking.
472
00:16:06,736 --> 00:16:08,402
All right, go!
Just leave.
473
00:16:08,402 --> 00:16:09,736
Okay, but I
can't get home.
474
00:16:09,736 --> 00:16:11,402
The Uber's not
picking me up,
for some reason.
475
00:16:11,402 --> 00:16:13,944
Yeah, well, walk.
Get the fuck out!
Go now!
476
00:16:13,944 --> 00:16:17,486
Has Jeff seen you
in those curlers of late?
477
00:16:17,486 --> 00:16:19,110
Get! Out!
Out! Out!
478
00:16:19,110 --> 00:16:21,653
Oh, what
a fucking asshole.
479
00:16:25,903 --> 00:16:27,903
Oh, finally.
480
00:16:27,903 --> 00:16:28,778
The hell is this?
481
00:16:31,819 --> 00:16:34,235
- This an Uber?
- UberX.
482
00:16:38,486 --> 00:16:40,486
( exhales )
483
00:16:40,486 --> 00:16:41,903
Took quite a while.
484
00:16:41,903 --> 00:16:44,736
( chuckles )
Okay.
485
00:16:44,736 --> 00:16:47,569
- Am I wrong?
- Kind of took a gamble
picking you up
486
00:16:47,569 --> 00:16:49,736
- with that
one-star rating.
- What?
487
00:16:49,736 --> 00:16:51,194
Yeah.
488
00:16:51,194 --> 00:16:52,402
You know,
usually I, uh--
489
00:16:52,402 --> 00:16:54,277
I pick up four,
five stars.
490
00:16:54,277 --> 00:16:55,778
I know they're
gonna be responsible,
491
00:16:55,778 --> 00:16:57,069
respectful of the car,
492
00:16:57,069 --> 00:16:58,235
not be a problem.
493
00:16:58,235 --> 00:16:59,736
- But...
- One star?
494
00:16:59,736 --> 00:17:02,277
( stammering )
I'm not one star.
495
00:17:02,277 --> 00:17:04,361
- I'm a five.
- You might feel
like a five,
496
00:17:04,361 --> 00:17:06,361
but Uber says
you're a one, buddy.
497
00:17:08,235 --> 00:17:10,069
Larry:
Holy shit.
498
00:17:11,194 --> 00:17:12,444
Four other stars
next to it,
499
00:17:12,444 --> 00:17:13,444
not filled in.
500
00:17:13,444 --> 00:17:14,694
The Romanian!
501
00:17:14,694 --> 00:17:16,611
- The Romanian?
- The Romanian.
502
00:17:16,611 --> 00:17:19,194
Gave me-- he gave me a one
and took me down from
a five to a one.
503
00:17:19,194 --> 00:17:22,944
- One-Star Larry is really, uh--
really not a popular guy.
- All right. Okay.
504
00:17:35,653 --> 00:17:37,277
( door opens )
505
00:17:37,277 --> 00:17:40,152
- ( door closes )
- ( Leon sighs ) Man.
506
00:17:40,152 --> 00:17:42,194
What the hell
is going on in here?
507
00:17:42,194 --> 00:17:45,194
- Phew.
- Huh? It's 92 degrees.
508
00:17:45,194 --> 00:17:46,611
You're damn right
it's 92 degrees.
509
00:17:46,611 --> 00:17:47,611
Tina came over.
510
00:17:47,611 --> 00:17:49,110
- Who?
- Yogi Tina.
511
00:17:49,110 --> 00:17:50,444
Like that shit hot.
512
00:17:50,444 --> 00:17:52,235
- Where is she?
- Fuck you think she's at?
513
00:17:52,235 --> 00:17:53,611
She's up there
fuckin' recuperating.
514
00:17:53,611 --> 00:17:54,861
What are you doing
in my house?
515
00:17:54,861 --> 00:17:57,444
I'm in here fuckin'
at 92 degrees.
516
00:17:57,444 --> 00:17:59,069
- What? You're what?
- That's what the fuck's
going on.
517
00:17:59,069 --> 00:18:01,110
Why are you having sex
in my house?
518
00:18:01,110 --> 00:18:03,361
- Because--
- ( stammering ) You got
a guest house back there.
519
00:18:03,361 --> 00:18:05,194
- I can't fuck...
- Huh?
520
00:18:05,194 --> 00:18:06,903
...at 92 degrees
in my room
521
00:18:06,903 --> 00:18:08,319
'cause my room
won't get hot enough.
522
00:18:08,319 --> 00:18:09,486
- Okay, well you--
- It gets hot in here.
523
00:18:09,486 --> 00:18:10,778
Well, you already
did it, right?
524
00:18:10,778 --> 00:18:12,569
- Now get out.
- No, I did part one.
525
00:18:12,569 --> 00:18:13,985
I didn't do part two
or three yet.
526
00:18:13,985 --> 00:18:16,444
Okay, there's not gonna be
a part two or three, okay?
527
00:18:16,444 --> 00:18:18,402
- There's always
a part two and three.
- No, no, no. No!
528
00:18:18,402 --> 00:18:20,653
I'm not gonna sit here
and leave her at
fuckin' part one.
529
00:18:20,653 --> 00:18:22,027
Well, why
is it 92 degrees?
530
00:18:22,027 --> 00:18:23,653
She's a yoga instructor.
She likes hot yoga.
531
00:18:23,653 --> 00:18:25,985
Oh, so she likes hot sex
and hot yoga, is that it?
532
00:18:25,985 --> 00:18:27,361
That's fuckin' right.
That's what the fuck
she does.
533
00:18:27,361 --> 00:18:29,110
I want you
out of the house.
534
00:18:29,110 --> 00:18:32,861
I don't want
some post-sex guy
walking around my house, okay?
535
00:18:32,861 --> 00:18:34,944
- Now get out.
- First of all,
536
00:18:34,944 --> 00:18:36,694
there's nothing wrong
with people having
537
00:18:36,694 --> 00:18:38,819
the scent of--
of fuck on their body.
538
00:18:38,819 --> 00:18:41,903
I don't like
the scent of fuck, okay?
539
00:18:41,903 --> 00:18:44,361
Sue me.
I don't like
fuck scent.
540
00:18:44,361 --> 00:18:47,027
All right, look, uh,
some guy named Greg
called for you.
541
00:18:47,027 --> 00:18:49,152
He said your car's
gonna be ready
in three weeks.
542
00:18:49,152 --> 00:18:52,319
Three weeks?
On the phone,
he said a couple of days.
543
00:18:52,319 --> 00:18:55,069
- Oh, wow.
- Well, di-did he sound
like he was ticked off?
544
00:18:55,069 --> 00:18:57,903
No, he just sounded like
some random black dude
545
00:18:57,903 --> 00:18:59,194
who's calling
about your car.
546
00:19:00,778 --> 00:19:03,277
- How do you know he's black?
- I know how black people sound.
547
00:19:03,277 --> 00:19:06,736
- You could tell
that guy was black?
- Fuck, yeah, instantly.
548
00:19:06,736 --> 00:19:08,444
- Wow.
- Three words. Bam.
549
00:19:08,444 --> 00:19:10,319
Jews, I could tell
within, like, a minute.
550
00:19:10,319 --> 00:19:11,985
- Man or woman.
- Of course, 'cause
you're Jewish.
551
00:19:11,985 --> 00:19:13,653
You-- you give me two minutes,
and I could tell you
552
00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:15,069
if they're reform
or conservative.
553
00:19:15,069 --> 00:19:17,152
Hmm.
Uh-oh.
554
00:19:17,152 --> 00:19:18,569
( chuckles )
Somebody recuperated.
555
00:19:18,569 --> 00:19:21,611
Oh, well,
well, well.
556
00:19:21,611 --> 00:19:24,235
- Look who's here.
- Hello, Larry.
557
00:19:24,235 --> 00:19:26,611
How's the temperature?
Is it to your liking?
558
00:19:26,611 --> 00:19:28,694
It's the optimal
temperature for climaxing.
559
00:19:28,694 --> 00:19:29,778
Larry:
Oh, is it?
560
00:19:29,778 --> 00:19:30,778
Leon:
Ha, ha, is it?
561
00:19:30,778 --> 00:19:33,235
You... are gonna
have to leave.
562
00:19:33,235 --> 00:19:35,694
- Such hospitality.
- Feels good?
563
00:19:35,694 --> 00:19:36,903
Namaste.
564
00:19:36,903 --> 00:19:38,277
Okay.
Now get the fuck out.
565
00:19:38,277 --> 00:19:40,235
I'm still gonna
nama-stick-it-in-her.
566
00:19:40,235 --> 00:19:41,778
Tell you that.
567
00:19:41,778 --> 00:19:43,152
Hold on.
Hold on, baby.
568
00:19:43,152 --> 00:19:44,903
Let me talk to you
real quick.
569
00:19:44,903 --> 00:19:47,027
- It's right over there.
- That looks nice.
570
00:19:47,027 --> 00:19:49,152
- Why are we going
to this place?
- Because...
571
00:19:49,152 --> 00:19:50,903
- It stinks.
- Highly recommended.
572
00:19:50,903 --> 00:19:53,110
They better have
a cheeseburger,
no condiments.
573
00:19:53,110 --> 00:19:55,402
- I don't like condiments.
- Is that so?
574
00:19:55,402 --> 00:19:57,944
- Hey, look at that guy.
- Larry: Yeah, look at
that guy.
575
00:19:57,944 --> 00:19:59,778
- Bridget: Wow.
- ( Larry scoffs )
576
00:19:59,778 --> 00:20:01,277
Free.
( chuckles )
577
00:20:01,277 --> 00:20:03,611
He'll be fine
once we get to
the restaurant.
578
00:20:03,611 --> 00:20:04,944
- Uh...
- So...
579
00:20:04,944 --> 00:20:06,486
Huh.
580
00:20:06,486 --> 00:20:07,819
- Thank you.
- Bye.
581
00:20:07,819 --> 00:20:09,361
- Larry: Well, well.
- Thank you.
582
00:20:09,361 --> 00:20:11,069
- Hey, you know what?
- What?
583
00:20:11,069 --> 00:20:11,944
I'll be right back.
584
00:20:15,361 --> 00:20:16,736
Oh, come on.
585
00:20:22,944 --> 00:20:24,069
A one?
586
00:20:24,069 --> 00:20:25,819
You gave me a one?
587
00:20:25,819 --> 00:20:27,944
- Honestly.
- I don't like the way
you spoke to me.
588
00:20:27,944 --> 00:20:29,277
You insulted--
589
00:20:29,277 --> 00:20:31,819
you insulted
the lowland women
of my country, okay?
590
00:20:31,819 --> 00:20:34,444
- You are asking me
to set you up with--
- Let's be honest about it.
591
00:20:34,444 --> 00:20:35,944
They're not the most
attractive group--
592
00:20:35,944 --> 00:20:37,194
You have--
you've never seen--
593
00:20:37,194 --> 00:20:38,861
you want me to pull up
pictures for you?
594
00:20:38,861 --> 00:20:40,361
I've seen
plenty of pictures
of Romanian women.
595
00:20:40,361 --> 00:20:42,319
And the Bulgarians,
and the Hungarians.
596
00:20:42,319 --> 00:20:43,361
No beauties.
Come on.
597
00:20:43,361 --> 00:20:44,944
First of all,
598
00:20:44,944 --> 00:20:46,736
do you hear
yourself talking?
599
00:20:46,736 --> 00:20:49,110
You are the rudest person
I've ever met.
600
00:20:49,110 --> 00:20:51,235
You are
an angry person, okay?
601
00:20:51,235 --> 00:20:52,819
And you ask me
to change the heat...
602
00:20:52,819 --> 00:20:54,819
Who's angry?
You're the one
who's angry, not me.
603
00:20:54,819 --> 00:20:57,152
- You're angry.
- You are making me
angry, my friend.
604
00:20:57,152 --> 00:21:00,694
I am not the one
insulting your culture,
your country, your women.
605
00:21:00,694 --> 00:21:03,694
I gave you a five.
I gave you a five.
606
00:21:03,694 --> 00:21:05,319
Of course, because
I gave you nice service.
607
00:21:05,319 --> 00:21:07,361
I take you where
you want to go,
quickest route.
608
00:21:07,361 --> 00:21:09,194
Okay, look, look,
I wanna ask you
a favor, okay?
609
00:21:09,194 --> 00:21:11,277
I can't get Ubers now
on account of you,
610
00:21:11,277 --> 00:21:12,653
so I want you
to change the rating.
611
00:21:12,653 --> 00:21:13,903
Oh, change
the rating?
612
00:21:13,903 --> 00:21:15,319
- Yeah.
- Okay.
613
00:21:15,319 --> 00:21:18,235
You want me to go
into the algorithm
and change it?
614
00:21:18,235 --> 00:21:20,903
Sure.
Oh, no problem.
Of course.
615
00:21:20,903 --> 00:21:23,985
Let me just open
a programming window
on my phone
616
00:21:23,985 --> 00:21:26,110
and enter some code
for you.
617
00:21:26,110 --> 00:21:27,444
What are you writing
over there?
618
00:21:27,444 --> 00:21:29,277
I'm just entering some notes
for other drivers.
619
00:21:29,277 --> 00:21:30,694
- What is that?
- Don't worry.
620
00:21:30,694 --> 00:21:32,194
( stammering )
I wanna see what
you're writing.
621
00:21:32,194 --> 00:21:34,194
- Get out of my car.
- Give me that cell phone.
622
00:21:34,194 --> 00:21:35,361
I'm not giving you
my cell phone.
623
00:21:35,361 --> 00:21:37,027
Don't touch
my cell phone.
624
00:21:37,027 --> 00:21:38,235
All right,
you know what?
625
00:21:38,235 --> 00:21:40,653
I'm changing
my rating of you.
626
00:21:40,653 --> 00:21:42,736
From a five
to a zero.
627
00:21:42,736 --> 00:21:44,361
- Okay, try it.
Take your phone out.
- Okay. Yeah, I will try it.
628
00:21:44,361 --> 00:21:46,778
Go ahead
because Uber ratings
are final, my friend.
629
00:21:46,778 --> 00:21:48,319
- They're final?!
- They are final.
630
00:21:48,319 --> 00:21:50,110
You know what
I regret the most?
631
00:21:50,110 --> 00:21:51,277
When I said to you,
"If you were gonna
632
00:21:51,277 --> 00:21:53,027
fix me up
with your sister,
633
00:21:53,027 --> 00:21:54,569
- what Uber rating
would you give me?"
- Yeah.
634
00:21:54,569 --> 00:21:56,027
I would never go out
with your sister
635
00:21:56,027 --> 00:21:57,361
under any
circumstances.
636
00:21:57,361 --> 00:21:59,361
My sister would not look
at a picture of you.
637
00:21:59,361 --> 00:22:02,277
- She's a gorgeous
Romanian woman.
- Gorgeous Romanian?
638
00:22:02,277 --> 00:22:03,611
That's an oxymoron.
639
00:22:03,611 --> 00:22:05,069
- Gorgeous Romanian.
- That's it.
640
00:22:05,069 --> 00:22:07,277
- No, what? Hey!
- You think that
I'm gonna--
641
00:22:07,277 --> 00:22:09,861
say something about
my sister again!
642
00:22:09,861 --> 00:22:12,152
( Larry scoffs )
And I'm telling you,
643
00:22:12,152 --> 00:22:13,736
I don't think
Bridget's kid
has Asperger's.
644
00:22:13,736 --> 00:22:16,277
I swear to God,
I just think he's
an asshole.
645
00:22:16,277 --> 00:22:20,402
- The kid's an asshole.
- I know a lot of people
with Asperger's, I do.
646
00:22:20,402 --> 00:22:21,694
Not a lot,
but I know some.
647
00:22:21,694 --> 00:22:23,569
And you know what,
they're delightful people.
648
00:22:23,569 --> 00:22:26,194
This kid,
I'm betting
you're right.
649
00:22:26,194 --> 00:22:28,569
- Asshole.
- I think so.
650
00:22:28,569 --> 00:22:30,444
You know,
to be honest with you,
651
00:22:30,444 --> 00:22:32,736
I'm gonna start telling people
that you're on the spectrum.
652
00:22:32,736 --> 00:22:36,402
- I could be.
- Any bad behavior
can be written off as what?
653
00:22:36,402 --> 00:22:37,569
- Spectrum.
- Spectrum.
654
00:22:37,569 --> 00:22:39,069
Hello, hello, hello.
655
00:22:39,069 --> 00:22:40,778
It's hot as fuckin' hell
in there, Larry.
656
00:22:40,778 --> 00:22:42,152
Well, I know.
The-- the heating's broken.
657
00:22:42,152 --> 00:22:44,110
And the heating guy's here.
He's fixing it.
658
00:22:44,110 --> 00:22:45,444
That's why we're
sitting out here.
659
00:22:45,444 --> 00:22:46,736
Oh, all right.
Well, listen,
660
00:22:46,736 --> 00:22:48,778
I'm going around
to all my friends
661
00:22:48,778 --> 00:22:51,110
and I'm giving them
these sample baskets.
662
00:22:51,110 --> 00:22:53,361
So maybe you could
give this one to Bridget.
663
00:22:53,361 --> 00:22:54,903
So-- so what did
she say about me?
664
00:22:54,903 --> 00:22:57,819
Come on, give me--
give me a little something.
665
00:22:57,819 --> 00:22:59,694
Huh?
What do you got?
666
00:22:59,694 --> 00:23:01,444
- What'd she say?
- She said to me...
667
00:23:01,444 --> 00:23:04,069
- Yeah.
- ...that she thinks
you're terrific.
668
00:23:04,069 --> 00:23:06,110
There you go!
Now you're talking!
669
00:23:06,110 --> 00:23:07,778
- You like her?
- I do.
670
00:23:07,778 --> 00:23:10,819
But that prick son
is driving me crazy.
671
00:23:10,819 --> 00:23:12,611
Ugh, you know what,
you've never had children.
672
00:23:12,611 --> 00:23:15,027
Every single time
you deal with a woman
with kids,
673
00:23:15,027 --> 00:23:16,110
you have a problem.
674
00:23:16,110 --> 00:23:18,110
I suggest
you foster a kid.
675
00:23:18,110 --> 00:23:19,444
( cackles )
676
00:23:22,653 --> 00:23:24,527
- Okay. I'll go--
- It'll make you
a better man.
677
00:23:24,527 --> 00:23:26,152
I'll go down
to the pound today.
678
00:23:26,152 --> 00:23:28,027
I'll go down--
I'll go down to
the foster pound.
679
00:23:28,027 --> 00:23:29,527
Would you come with me
to the foster pound?
680
00:23:29,527 --> 00:23:31,653
Always looking forward for
a trip to the foster pound.
681
00:23:31,653 --> 00:23:34,653
- Oh, it is
so hot in there.
- Yeah, I know.
682
00:23:34,653 --> 00:23:36,778
Yeah, it's, like,
stuck on 92 degrees.
683
00:23:36,778 --> 00:23:38,402
- I know.
- Man: Yeah.
684
00:23:38,402 --> 00:23:39,653
It's much nicer
out here.
685
00:23:39,653 --> 00:23:41,069
So what do you think?
How's it looking?
686
00:23:41,069 --> 00:23:43,235
Well, we're running
a system diagnostics test
687
00:23:43,235 --> 00:23:45,069
and, uh, you know,
we'll have our answer soon.
688
00:23:45,069 --> 00:23:47,152
Do you specialize
more in heating than
air-conditioning?
689
00:23:47,152 --> 00:23:49,152
Oh, we do both--
heat and AC.
690
00:23:49,152 --> 00:23:51,527
If I called you up and said
I have a particular problem,
691
00:23:51,527 --> 00:23:53,944
would you prefer if I said
heating or air-conditioning?
692
00:23:53,944 --> 00:23:55,861
- I have no preference.
- No preference at all?
693
00:23:55,861 --> 00:23:57,694
No preference at all.
You know, they're like--
you know, it's like children.
694
00:23:57,694 --> 00:24:00,027
Okay, like children.
Say you had a "Sophie's Choice."
695
00:24:00,027 --> 00:24:02,486
You have two children,
heating and air-conditioning.
696
00:24:02,486 --> 00:24:04,903
You have to pick one,
the one you had
an infinity for,
697
00:24:04,903 --> 00:24:08,778
and the other one goes into
the concentration camp.
698
00:24:08,778 --> 00:24:10,361
Which one--
which one you gonna keep?
699
00:24:12,235 --> 00:24:13,653
Heat.
Go with heat.
700
00:24:13,653 --> 00:24:15,944
So air conditioning's going
to the concentration camp.
701
00:24:15,944 --> 00:24:18,277
...going to
the concentration camp,
but heat is saved.
702
00:24:18,277 --> 00:24:20,235
( phone dings )
703
00:24:20,235 --> 00:24:22,194
Susie: You know,
our AC isn't working
that well either.
704
00:24:22,194 --> 00:24:25,319
- Larry: Ah, it's
from Bridget.
- Susie: Wow.
705
00:24:27,985 --> 00:24:31,235
What she see's in him,
I have no idea.
706
00:24:31,235 --> 00:24:34,110
Hey. Hey.
How long is this
gonna take?
707
00:24:34,110 --> 00:24:36,736
- I-- you gotta
get this done quickly.
- Yeah, I got some bad news.
708
00:24:36,736 --> 00:24:38,903
You got a broken part,
and it's gonna take
about three days.
709
00:24:38,903 --> 00:24:41,194
- I don't have it
on the truck. Yeah.
- What? Three days?
710
00:24:41,194 --> 00:24:43,069
Y-you were
so confident outside.
711
00:24:43,069 --> 00:24:45,027
- You said
you got it done.
- Mm-hmm, yeah.
712
00:24:45,027 --> 00:24:47,361
- You said
you were a heat guy.
- I-- I am a heat guy.
713
00:24:47,361 --> 00:24:49,152
What you have
is a cooling problem.
714
00:24:49,152 --> 00:24:50,527
- Cooling?!
- Yeah.
715
00:24:50,527 --> 00:24:52,235
You sent the cooling kid
to the concentration camp.
716
00:24:52,235 --> 00:24:54,069
Okay, it's not
a kid, okay?
717
00:24:54,069 --> 00:24:55,444
It's chlorofluorocarbons.
718
00:24:55,444 --> 00:24:56,861
Okay, they're not--
they're not children.
719
00:24:56,861 --> 00:24:59,235
I did not send a child
to a concentration camp.
720
00:24:59,235 --> 00:25:00,736
Yeah, you know,
I was gonna consummate.
721
00:25:00,736 --> 00:25:02,235
I had a window open
to consummate.
722
00:25:02,235 --> 00:25:03,569
Now the window's
closed.
723
00:25:03,569 --> 00:25:05,152
- No consummation.
- Why is it closed?
724
00:25:05,152 --> 00:25:06,985
Well, I'm not
gonna have sex
in a 92-degree room.
725
00:25:06,985 --> 00:25:08,985
You get all sweaty.
There's-- it's disgusting.
726
00:25:08,985 --> 00:25:11,235
The sweat's on the sheets,
I have to take my shirt off.
727
00:25:11,235 --> 00:25:12,653
I'm not gonna have sex
with my shirt off.
728
00:25:12,653 --> 00:25:14,694
You don't take
your shirt off during sex?
729
00:25:14,694 --> 00:25:16,944
- No, I don't-- no.
- I take my shirt off
while I'm kissing.
730
00:25:16,944 --> 00:25:18,361
I love it.
I get completely free.
731
00:25:18,361 --> 00:25:20,361
All right.
I-- I don't really
know your name.
732
00:25:20,361 --> 00:25:21,861
You don't have one
of those little tags on...
733
00:25:21,861 --> 00:25:23,694
- No, we don't wear tags.
- I'll take a guess.
734
00:25:23,694 --> 00:25:26,277
- Uh, Bob?
- It's Bill.
735
00:25:26,277 --> 00:25:29,069
All right, Bill,
uh, let's not talk
about this anymore.
736
00:25:29,069 --> 00:25:30,527
All right, I'm sorry,
you brought it up.
737
00:25:30,527 --> 00:25:32,736
Yeah, I did.
I-- I gotta text her
738
00:25:32,736 --> 00:25:35,569
and tell her we can't--
she can't come over.
739
00:25:35,569 --> 00:25:37,277
- ( doorbell rings )
- Leon: I got it.
740
00:25:40,235 --> 00:25:42,110
I'm here
for my money, Lar--
741
00:25:42,110 --> 00:25:43,694
oh, my God.
742
00:25:43,694 --> 00:25:45,736
I'm Justin.
My car was the one,
743
00:25:45,736 --> 00:25:49,194
uh, damaged, um...
( chuckles )
744
00:25:49,194 --> 00:25:51,486
I'm sorry, I didn't kno--
I didn't know you were black.
745
00:25:51,486 --> 00:25:53,778
- Does it matter?
- No. God, no.
746
00:25:53,778 --> 00:25:56,694
No, like, that could
literally not matter less.
747
00:25:56,694 --> 00:25:58,402
Yeah, uh, um,
748
00:25:58,402 --> 00:26:00,778
you know,
this is the estimate
I got from the dealership,
749
00:26:00,778 --> 00:26:02,027
but, uh,
it seems high.
750
00:26:02,027 --> 00:26:05,694
And, uh,
like, the car,
it wasn't...
751
00:26:05,694 --> 00:26:07,778
( sighs )
You know, why don't--
752
00:26:07,778 --> 00:26:09,653
why don't I just
take care of this?
753
00:26:09,653 --> 00:26:11,444
We'll, uh--
we'll call this one good.
754
00:26:11,444 --> 00:26:13,486
I'm-- I'm really sorry
for the misunderstanding.
755
00:26:13,486 --> 00:26:15,527
Anyway, uh,
thank you for
leaving a note.
756
00:26:15,527 --> 00:26:17,110
That was really
considerate.
Thank you.
757
00:26:17,110 --> 00:26:18,819
- My man.
- My man. Thank you.
758
00:26:18,819 --> 00:26:20,819
- We good.
- Yeah. Yeah.
I'm sorry about--
759
00:26:20,819 --> 00:26:24,194
- I'm gonna go ahead
and take care-- okay.
- Yeah, yeah, we good.
760
00:26:24,194 --> 00:26:25,653
( door closes )
761
00:26:28,027 --> 00:26:29,110
Wow.
762
00:26:29,110 --> 00:26:30,402
- Huh?!
- Look at that.
763
00:26:30,402 --> 00:26:32,069
- That was beautiful.
- That was nice.
764
00:26:32,069 --> 00:26:33,985
- White people.
- Hey, man, white people.
765
00:26:33,985 --> 00:26:36,569
Gotta love 'em.
Namaste.
766
00:26:36,569 --> 00:26:38,027
Namaste up in
this mother fucker.
767
00:26:41,152 --> 00:26:42,027
Hey, Greg.
768
00:26:43,152 --> 00:26:45,736
Ah...
hey, Larry.
769
00:26:45,736 --> 00:26:47,486
Yeah, um...
770
00:26:48,736 --> 00:26:51,402
I just came
to apologize
771
00:26:51,402 --> 00:26:52,527
for the other day.
772
00:26:52,527 --> 00:26:55,944
Thing is
that I didn't m--
773
00:26:55,944 --> 00:26:59,361
tell you was that
I have Asperger's.
774
00:26:59,361 --> 00:27:01,277
You have
Asperger's? Ah.
775
00:27:01,277 --> 00:27:03,152
Jeff never
mentioned anything,
I'm so sorry.
776
00:27:03,152 --> 00:27:04,402
Why would
he need to?
777
00:27:04,402 --> 00:27:06,152
Well, no, no, no, I--
he doesn't need to.
778
00:27:06,152 --> 00:27:08,152
You-- you're right.
I'm sorry.
779
00:27:08,152 --> 00:27:09,778
Um, how bad is it?
780
00:27:09,778 --> 00:27:11,611
Is-- I mean,
how mild or?
781
00:27:11,611 --> 00:27:13,944
No, I'm on the, uh--
I'm on the spectrum.
782
00:27:13,944 --> 00:27:15,444
You know, I have no--
I have no filter.
783
00:27:15,444 --> 00:27:16,778
I say whatever
comes into my head.
784
00:27:16,778 --> 00:27:18,444
You know, I have trouble
making eye contact.
785
00:27:18,444 --> 00:27:20,277
I-- I get it.
I-- you know what?
786
00:27:20,277 --> 00:27:22,152
We'll have the car
ready for you tomorrow.
787
00:27:22,152 --> 00:27:23,861
It's just a ding.
Free of charge.
788
00:27:23,861 --> 00:27:25,653
What?!
What? What?
789
00:27:25,653 --> 00:27:28,027
- Yeah, again,
I apologize so much.
- Yeah, yeah.
790
00:27:28,027 --> 00:27:29,194
- Tomorrow. Yeah.
- Sorry.
791
00:27:29,194 --> 00:27:30,277
He said he's sorry.
He's sorry.
792
00:27:30,277 --> 00:27:31,694
I-- I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
793
00:27:31,694 --> 00:27:33,277
Yeah, he's really sorry.
He's sorry.
794
00:27:33,277 --> 00:27:34,694
Car will
be ready when?
795
00:27:34,694 --> 00:27:35,903
- Tomorrow.
- Tomorrow.
796
00:27:35,903 --> 00:27:37,444
- Free.
- S-see you tomorrow.
797
00:27:37,444 --> 00:27:38,903
Tomorrow.
798
00:27:38,903 --> 00:27:40,235
- T-t-- yeah,
tomorrow.
- Yeah.
799
00:27:40,235 --> 00:27:41,486
- Tomorrow.
- Tomorrow, tomorrow.
800
00:27:41,486 --> 00:27:43,486
- Yeah, okay.
- You need a ride?
801
00:27:43,486 --> 00:27:45,402
No, I'm a--
I'm a good driver.
802
00:27:45,402 --> 00:27:46,944
I'm a good driver.
803
00:27:49,110 --> 00:27:51,319
- Nice to be out, isn't it?
- I love this shit.
804
00:27:51,319 --> 00:27:53,778
- Out of that hot house?
- You can't take that shit.
805
00:27:53,778 --> 00:27:56,194
You a Anglo-Anglo
motherfucker.
806
00:27:56,194 --> 00:27:57,569
- ( phone dings )
- You know?
807
00:27:57,569 --> 00:28:00,069
Your body's not used to
that kind of temperature.
808
00:28:04,569 --> 00:28:05,611
( gasps )
809
00:28:05,611 --> 00:28:07,903
- The fuck is it?
- Bridget.
810
00:28:07,903 --> 00:28:09,611
- The-- the NBC censor.
- Yeah, yeah.
811
00:28:09,611 --> 00:28:12,110
I haven't had sex with her yet.
She invited me over
to her house.
812
00:28:12,110 --> 00:28:13,736
- We got an hour.
- Oh, man.
813
00:28:13,736 --> 00:28:15,235
- I got an hour window.
- An hour's a good fuck window.
814
00:28:15,235 --> 00:28:16,486
Fuck, I don't
have a car.
815
00:28:16,486 --> 00:28:17,527
I need to borrow
your car.
816
00:28:17,527 --> 00:28:18,569
- Mm-mmm.
- What?!
817
00:28:18,569 --> 00:28:19,611
You ain't
borrowing my car.
818
00:28:19,611 --> 00:28:20,903
- Why not?!
- I got a date.
819
00:28:20,903 --> 00:28:22,110
You're not gonna
give me your car?
820
00:28:22,110 --> 00:28:23,444
No! You're not getting
my fucking car.
821
00:28:23,444 --> 00:28:24,819
No, no, no.
Use the guest house.
822
00:28:24,819 --> 00:28:26,069
- The guest house?!
- Use that shit, man.
823
00:28:26,069 --> 00:28:27,235
That scum-shack?!
824
00:28:27,235 --> 00:28:28,277
You think I'm gonna
go in there?
825
00:28:28,277 --> 00:28:29,486
- Are you crazy?
- Scum-shack?
826
00:28:29,486 --> 00:28:30,985
There must have been
10,000 ejaculations
827
00:28:30,985 --> 00:28:32,277
in that place
in just two years.
828
00:28:32,277 --> 00:28:33,778
That means that room
is broken in.
829
00:28:33,778 --> 00:28:35,402
It's ready.
It's prime and
ready to fuck.
830
00:28:35,402 --> 00:28:37,569
Okay, fuck that.
All right, I'll tell you what.
831
00:28:37,569 --> 00:28:39,444
Okay, I'll
tell you what.
832
00:28:39,444 --> 00:28:40,861
I-- I can't do Uber,
833
00:28:40,861 --> 00:28:43,319
so just get--
get me an Uber.
834
00:28:43,319 --> 00:28:44,819
- No, fuck that.
- What?
835
00:28:44,819 --> 00:28:45,985
You gonna bring
my rating down.
836
00:28:45,985 --> 00:28:47,361
I'm a good five
right now.
837
00:28:47,361 --> 00:28:49,402
- I'm a five.
- No, no, you a fuckin' one.
838
00:28:49,402 --> 00:28:51,027
Yeah, well, that's 'cause
one idiot changed it
to a one.
839
00:28:51,027 --> 00:28:52,277
- No, no, no, no.
- That doesn't mean anything.
840
00:28:52,277 --> 00:28:53,569
You don't know
how to respect people.
841
00:28:53,569 --> 00:28:54,861
- You're a cocksucker.
- Fuck that.
842
00:28:54,861 --> 00:28:56,819
- I'm gonna take a bus.
- Yeah, you do that.
843
00:28:56,819 --> 00:28:58,152
- You a cocksucker!
- Hey!
844
00:28:58,152 --> 00:28:59,819
And your friendship rating
just went down!
845
00:28:59,819 --> 00:29:01,778
Hey! Hey!
846
00:29:03,027 --> 00:29:04,694
Hey!
No, no, no.
847
00:29:04,694 --> 00:29:07,361
Oh, come on.
Op-open the door!
848
00:29:09,611 --> 00:29:11,569
Does this go to
Olympic and Hauser?
849
00:29:11,569 --> 00:29:13,694
- Not all the way.
You gotta transfer.
- Transfer?
850
00:29:22,194 --> 00:29:23,402
What are you sitting
in the middle for?
851
00:29:23,402 --> 00:29:24,444
Why don't you
move over one?
852
00:29:24,444 --> 00:29:26,527
( speaking native
language )
853
00:29:26,527 --> 00:29:28,653
Okay, or whatever
you're saying,
854
00:29:28,653 --> 00:29:30,778
but it's-- it's
a little strange.
855
00:29:30,778 --> 00:29:32,402
I've never seen a person
sit in the middle.
856
00:29:32,402 --> 00:29:34,819
It's like using
the middle urinal.
857
00:29:34,819 --> 00:29:36,152
( speaking native
language )
858
00:29:38,819 --> 00:29:42,235
You know it's odd,
I-- I'm not sure if you
can understand me or not just--
859
00:29:42,235 --> 00:29:44,527
( speaking native
language )
860
00:29:44,527 --> 00:29:46,444
No, no,
you go over there.
861
00:29:46,444 --> 00:29:48,319
( speaking native
language )
862
00:29:48,319 --> 00:29:50,194
No, you sit there.
No, no.
863
00:29:50,194 --> 00:29:52,402
- ( imitating native language )
- ( speaking native language )
864
00:29:56,194 --> 00:29:57,694
Sir?
865
00:29:57,694 --> 00:29:59,027
Olympic and Hauser?
866
00:29:59,027 --> 00:30:01,569
I'm supposed
to go to, um-- sir?
867
00:30:01,569 --> 00:30:04,194
I'm supposed to go to,
uh, Olympic and Hauser.
868
00:30:04,194 --> 00:30:05,527
Yeah, well,
that's easy, man.
869
00:30:05,527 --> 00:30:07,027
Get off at
the La Cienega stop.
870
00:30:07,027 --> 00:30:08,194
You got
a couple options.
871
00:30:08,194 --> 00:30:09,944
Okay, will you tell me
when that's, uh--
872
00:30:09,944 --> 00:30:12,527
- when that's coming up?
- I'm not your babysitter.
873
00:30:12,527 --> 00:30:13,736
Figure it out.
874
00:30:15,027 --> 00:30:18,069
This bus is a very cold,
unforgiving place.
875
00:30:18,069 --> 00:30:19,361
I don't like it
one bit.
876
00:30:22,194 --> 00:30:24,069
Does this go to
Olympic and Hauser?
877
00:30:24,069 --> 00:30:25,903
Mm-hmm.
878
00:30:29,944 --> 00:30:31,069
Larry:
There you go.
879
00:30:31,069 --> 00:30:33,569
- To transfer, right?
- Yup.
880
00:30:33,569 --> 00:30:35,861
- Huh. Yeah, I did it.
- All right, you did it,
881
00:30:35,861 --> 00:30:37,235
but can you
do me a favor and get
882
00:30:37,235 --> 00:30:39,235
behind the yellow line
for your safety?
883
00:30:39,235 --> 00:30:40,736
- Thank you.
- Could you do me a favor
884
00:30:40,736 --> 00:30:43,444
and maybe go a little faster
than you normally might?
885
00:30:43,444 --> 00:30:45,110
I-- I cannot
do you that favor.
886
00:30:45,110 --> 00:30:48,903
Yellows.
If there's anyway that--
to ignore the yellows.
887
00:30:48,903 --> 00:30:50,569
Sir, I'm not
ignoring any yellows.
888
00:30:50,569 --> 00:30:52,694
- I-- I understand but people--
- Have a seat. Have a seat.
889
00:30:52,694 --> 00:30:55,069
People pay
a little too much
attention to yellows and--
890
00:30:55,069 --> 00:30:57,694
I am driving this bus.
I don't wanna hear
no more back talk.
891
00:30:57,694 --> 00:30:59,985
- ( stammering )
There's not another route?
- Man: Sit down!
892
00:30:59,985 --> 00:31:01,819
- There is not another route.
- Hey, shush down here
for a second.
893
00:31:01,819 --> 00:31:03,444
I got some
personal business.
894
00:31:03,444 --> 00:31:04,903
Driver:
You gonna
make me crazy now.
895
00:31:04,903 --> 00:31:06,444
Do you wanna drive
this bus, sir?
896
00:31:06,444 --> 00:31:08,402
- Is that an option?
- No, it's not an option.
897
00:31:08,402 --> 00:31:10,486
I'ma need you to go
and sit the hell down.
898
00:31:10,486 --> 00:31:11,778
This is danger.
Come and sit!
899
00:31:11,778 --> 00:31:13,819
Hey, this is none
of your business, okay?
900
00:31:13,819 --> 00:31:15,985
Just-- just take it easy.
I-- I've got a--
901
00:31:15,985 --> 00:31:17,694
- Man: Sit down!
- All: Sit down!
902
00:31:17,694 --> 00:31:19,527
Sit your ass down!
903
00:31:19,527 --> 00:31:23,027
Get behind
the yellow line
and sit down.
904
00:31:23,027 --> 00:31:25,736
- ( metal thuds )
- Shit.
905
00:31:25,736 --> 00:31:27,778
- You no listen!
- Man: You clipped a mirror.
906
00:31:27,778 --> 00:31:29,110
No shit, Sherlock.
907
00:31:31,611 --> 00:31:33,110
What's going on?
What are you doing?
908
00:31:33,110 --> 00:31:34,653
- I gotta pull over.
- What? Pull over?
909
00:31:34,653 --> 00:31:36,653
- Are you kidding? Why?
- Yeah. I have to leave a note.
910
00:31:36,653 --> 00:31:38,527
- A note? Oh, no, that's
a terrible mistake.
- Yes.
911
00:31:38,527 --> 00:31:40,653
Terrible.
People don't
appreciate them anyway.
912
00:31:40,653 --> 00:31:42,819
- I'm telling you the truth.
- You know, this is
some bullshit.
913
00:31:42,819 --> 00:31:44,444
The whole reason
I hit this car
914
00:31:44,444 --> 00:31:46,152
is because
you was up here--
yack, yack, yack--
915
00:31:46,152 --> 00:31:48,277
talking in my ear,
"Go through the yellow light.
916
00:31:48,277 --> 00:31:50,277
- Faster. Go. Go."
- I didn't do anything.
917
00:31:50,277 --> 00:31:51,985
- Hey, will you
sit down, please?
- Hey, you know what?
918
00:31:51,985 --> 00:31:53,944
You bus people are starting
to get on my nerves, okay?
919
00:31:53,944 --> 00:31:56,152
That's it.
Get the fuck off the bus!
920
00:31:56,152 --> 00:31:58,069
Hey, take-- wha-what--
hey, what are you doing?
921
00:31:58,069 --> 00:31:59,985
Larry:
No, you-- I--
922
00:31:59,985 --> 00:32:02,653
I have Asperger's!
I'm on the spectrum!
923
00:32:02,653 --> 00:32:04,319
- Ah!
- Get.
924
00:32:07,027 --> 00:32:07,985
( exhales )
925
00:32:09,444 --> 00:32:12,361
If I see you
on my bus again,
I'ma fuck you up.
926
00:32:13,861 --> 00:32:15,819
Okay.
( grunts )
927
00:32:20,819 --> 00:32:22,402
- ( woman moaning )
- ( Leon laughing )
928
00:32:22,402 --> 00:32:23,985
- Oh, Leon!
- Yeah, come on, now.
929
00:32:23,985 --> 00:32:27,069
Come on, now!
Whoo!
930
00:32:27,069 --> 00:32:28,944
- Ooh! Yeah.
- Woman: Right there.
931
00:32:28,944 --> 00:32:30,611
- Leon: Yeah, yeah,
here it come.
- Oh!
932
00:32:30,611 --> 00:32:32,778
- ( woman moaning )
- ( bed thudding )
933
00:32:32,778 --> 00:32:34,861
- Woman: Oh, yeah.
- Leon: Yeah, yeah.
934
00:32:34,861 --> 00:32:36,361
- Oh, my...
- Take that, take that.
935
00:32:36,361 --> 00:32:37,694
Woman:
Oh, yeah.
( giggles )
936
00:32:37,694 --> 00:32:39,694
- Oh, God.
- Leon: Ooh!
937
00:32:39,694 --> 00:32:41,319
- Here we go!
- Woman: Oh my, God!
938
00:32:41,319 --> 00:32:42,611
Oh, my Gawd!
939
00:32:42,611 --> 00:32:45,027
- Oh! Yeah!
- Do I hear a Jew?
940
00:32:45,027 --> 00:32:46,985
Woman:
I'm not gonna do that!
941
00:32:49,569 --> 00:32:52,402
( theme music playing )
942
00:34:03,402 --> 00:34:05,110
♪ (TANGO INSTRUMENTAL PLAYING) ♪
943
00:34:05,486 --> 00:34:06,277
(KNOCKING)
944
00:34:06,527 --> 00:34:08,027
Come on. I can't look at that.
945
00:34:08,027 --> 00:34:09,486
Sorry, what's your problem?
946
00:34:09,486 --> 00:34:10,736
No one wants to see this.
947
00:34:10,736 --> 00:34:12,194
Two people aren't allowed
to be happy?
948
00:34:12,194 --> 00:34:14,152
Well, you're allowed to be happy
but not in front of me.
949
00:34:15,152 --> 00:34:18,069
Quite an expensive bottle of
champagne I wound up paying for.
950
00:34:18,069 --> 00:34:19,361
You wanted to live it up!
951
00:34:19,361 --> 00:34:20,569
You said, "Let's live it up."
952
00:34:20,778 --> 00:34:23,235
I would never live it up. I live
it down, I don't live it up.
953
00:34:23,235 --> 00:34:24,819
Mom, you're still dating
this guy?
954
00:34:25,027 --> 00:34:27,152
-Yes, and I--
-Yes, and she's enjoying
it very much.
955
00:34:27,152 --> 00:34:28,319
Are you two having sex?
956
00:34:28,569 --> 00:34:30,694
-That's... mommy's business.
-It's not really your business.
957
00:34:30,694 --> 00:34:32,903
But to tell you the truth,
it's imminent.
958
00:34:32,903 --> 00:34:34,653
♪ (TANGO MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪
72476
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