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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,367 --> 00:00:08,333 ( theme music playing ) 2 00:00:13,867 --> 00:00:15,967 So then he goes Like this... 3 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:18,800 I go, "What is it, dad?" He goes... 4 00:00:18,833 --> 00:00:20,533 ( raspy ) like this. He can't talk. 5 00:00:20,567 --> 00:00:22,833 He's in the hospital, The bed, you know? 6 00:00:22,867 --> 00:00:24,267 ( rasps ) 7 00:00:24,300 --> 00:00:27,700 So I lean in, And he whispers in my ear. 8 00:00:27,733 --> 00:00:29,533 He says to me, 9 00:00:29,567 --> 00:00:32,167 ( slowly ) "You're adopted." 10 00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:36,000 - he said that? - I think he said that. 11 00:00:36,033 --> 00:00:38,967 Maybe he said, "You're a doctor." I don't know. 12 00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:41,533 But why would he say I'm a doctor? I would know If I'm a doctor. 13 00:00:41,567 --> 00:00:43,733 Why do you think He would wait until Now to tell you? 14 00:00:43,767 --> 00:00:45,300 Maybe he thought He was dying. 15 00:00:45,333 --> 00:00:47,367 But I'm still not 100% sure That he said it. 16 00:00:47,400 --> 00:00:49,633 So basically What you're saying is, 17 00:00:49,667 --> 00:00:51,933 You want me to find out If you're adopted or not. 18 00:00:51,967 --> 00:00:53,600 Yes. 19 00:00:53,633 --> 00:00:55,867 First, how did you Find me? 20 00:00:55,900 --> 00:00:58,167 My friend said He read this big article 21 00:00:58,200 --> 00:01:00,400 About you In the l.A. Magazine. 22 00:01:00,433 --> 00:01:03,733 "Best best private Investigator in los angeles." 23 00:01:03,767 --> 00:01:05,100 Look, mr. David, 24 00:01:05,133 --> 00:01:07,767 I have to be honest With you. 25 00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:09,567 My business And what I do-- 26 00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:11,233 What I do is I service the community. 27 00:01:11,267 --> 00:01:12,900 Basicallywhat I'm saying is, 28 00:01:12,933 --> 00:01:15,433 I don't see a way That you would, uh, 29 00:01:15,467 --> 00:01:17,200 Be helping my community. 30 00:01:17,233 --> 00:01:19,433 What about... 31 00:01:19,467 --> 00:01:21,400 Calling some bingo games Or something? 32 00:01:21,433 --> 00:01:24,233 You got, like, A community center For bingo? 33 00:01:24,267 --> 00:01:26,100 Bingo's a distraction. 34 00:01:26,133 --> 00:01:28,233 Don't underestimate bingo. 35 00:01:29,900 --> 00:01:32,267 I've got extra sneakers That I don't wear anymore 36 00:01:32,300 --> 00:01:34,867 - in pretty good Condition, I must say. - extra sneakers? 37 00:01:34,900 --> 00:01:36,767 I'd be more than happy To donate 'em. 38 00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:39,700 Mr. David, I don't think This is gonna work. 39 00:01:39,733 --> 00:01:41,600 It would mean An awful lot to me. 40 00:01:41,633 --> 00:01:43,833 Please please, Think about it. 41 00:01:43,867 --> 00:01:46,133 If there's anything I can do to convince you, 42 00:01:46,167 --> 00:01:48,600 - I would. - I can't promise anything. 43 00:01:48,633 --> 00:01:50,800 What about a big brother Kind of thing? 44 00:01:52,567 --> 00:01:54,400 Let me talk to some Of my community leaders 45 00:01:54,433 --> 00:01:56,300 - and see exactly What the community needs-- - yeah, okay, 46 00:01:56,333 --> 00:01:58,167 I'm not talking about For a long time. 47 00:01:58,200 --> 00:02:00,767 Maybe for one afternoon, 48 00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:02,600 To a movie or something. 49 00:02:03,833 --> 00:02:06,900 Um, is that a key To the men's room? 50 00:02:06,933 --> 00:02:09,133 Well, it says "Men"On it. Yes. 51 00:02:09,167 --> 00:02:11,067 It's a natural question To ask. 52 00:02:12,300 --> 00:02:13,833 - yes. - may I borrow the key? 53 00:02:13,867 --> 00:02:16,233 - yes, you may Borrow the key. - thank you. 54 00:02:16,267 --> 00:02:18,167 Okay. Thanks, mr. Jones. 55 00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:20,200 - and you'll think About it? - I will. 56 00:02:20,233 --> 00:02:21,200 By the way... 57 00:02:21,233 --> 00:02:23,700 Love the bow-tie. 58 00:02:23,733 --> 00:02:26,500 ( whistling "Yankee doodle," Tapping ) 59 00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:29,533 ( toilet flushing ) 60 00:02:32,767 --> 00:02:35,667 ( stops whistling ) 61 00:02:35,700 --> 00:02:38,767 - what are you doing?! - using the bathroom. 62 00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:41,400 That's my stall! Did you see the plaque On it-- 63 00:02:41,433 --> 00:02:43,900 Yes, I know, But somebody was using The other one, so I-- 64 00:02:43,933 --> 00:02:45,567 Well, then you wait! 65 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:48,533 I couldn't wait. It was an emergency. I had to go! 66 00:02:48,567 --> 00:02:50,933 There's one stall for me, And you're in it! 67 00:02:50,967 --> 00:02:53,067 If you were here, I would have given you First dibs. 68 00:02:53,100 --> 00:02:55,767 But honestly, I haven't seen A handicapped person In the bathroom, 69 00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:58,900 Maybe ever. So I thought I could Perhaps take my chances. 70 00:02:58,933 --> 00:03:01,067 "A handicapped person"? 71 00:03:01,100 --> 00:03:03,500 That's nice. Oh, that's nice! 72 00:03:03,533 --> 00:03:05,333 - it's called disabled. Disabled. - disabled? 73 00:03:05,367 --> 00:03:07,700 Well, that doesn't Sound so hot. 74 00:03:07,733 --> 00:03:10,567 I don't really care what it Sounds like to you, okay? It's disabled. 75 00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:12,700 I think I would prefer Handicapped. 76 00:03:12,733 --> 00:03:15,767 God, you know How archaic that word is? "A handicapped person"! 77 00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:17,200 That's demeaning, Don't you know? 78 00:03:17,233 --> 00:03:18,833 - I'm a disabled person. - oh, sorry. 79 00:03:18,867 --> 00:03:20,667 - ( mocking ) You're sorry. - oh, sorry. 80 00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:22,733 Now you've Learned a lesson. Please, don't ever go 81 00:03:22,767 --> 00:03:24,833 - in my stall again! All right? - fine, okay. 82 00:03:24,867 --> 00:03:25,967 - thanks so much! - you're welcome. 83 00:03:26,067 --> 00:03:27,500 - I appreciate it. - you're welcome. 84 00:03:27,533 --> 00:03:29,333 Douche-bag. 85 00:03:34,833 --> 00:03:36,200 So you think He's a muslim? 86 00:03:36,233 --> 00:03:38,733 - he had the bow-tie. - huh? 87 00:03:38,767 --> 00:03:41,300 Do black men Who aren't muslims Ever wear bow-ties? 88 00:03:41,333 --> 00:03:44,500 - I haven't seen it. - it'd be interesting To find that out. 89 00:03:44,533 --> 00:03:46,867 - I'm surprised You didn't ask him. - yeah, me too. 90 00:03:46,900 --> 00:03:49,100 I mean, you know, I don't care either way, I'm just curious. 91 00:03:49,133 --> 00:03:52,067 Well, I'll tell you something, That I think he's a muslim. 92 00:03:52,067 --> 00:03:54,067 ( quietly ) Hey, that's A handicapped spot. 93 00:03:57,767 --> 00:03:59,667 Wh-wh-what? 94 00:03:59,700 --> 00:04:02,067 What's with the walking? 95 00:04:02,067 --> 00:04:03,767 ( stuttering ) Fuck you! 96 00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:06,700 I have a stutter! 97 00:04:06,733 --> 00:04:08,367 Yeah, but you can walk. 98 00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:11,200 ( stuttering ) Look at my license plate! 99 00:04:11,233 --> 00:04:13,200 I have permission, 100 00:04:13,233 --> 00:04:15,533 You fucking prick! 101 00:04:26,300 --> 00:04:28,433 Oh hey... 102 00:04:28,467 --> 00:04:30,067 We got a dog. 103 00:04:30,067 --> 00:04:32,333 Really? Why? 104 00:04:32,367 --> 00:04:34,933 - she wanted a dog. - you have to walk it And everything? 105 00:04:34,967 --> 00:04:37,433 - I'm sure I'll wind up Doing stuff. - oh, definitely. 106 00:04:37,467 --> 00:04:39,500 I know, yeah, But you know what? It's kind of cute. 107 00:04:39,533 --> 00:04:40,833 - larry! - I kind of like it. Hi! 108 00:04:40,867 --> 00:04:43,200 - hi! - jodi! 109 00:04:43,233 --> 00:04:45,067 - how are you? - great, great. 110 00:04:45,067 --> 00:04:47,567 - so good to see you! - great to see you. 111 00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:49,167 - hi jodi. - hi. 112 00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:51,200 - how are you doing? - how are you doing, Ms. Jodi funkhouser? 113 00:04:51,233 --> 00:04:52,567 ( laughs ) 114 00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:54,267 - so what's going on? - nothing. 115 00:04:54,300 --> 00:04:56,133 - seeking attention, Getting rejected. - ( laughs ) 116 00:04:56,167 --> 00:04:58,733 - are those new glasses? - no, but I cleaned them. 117 00:04:58,767 --> 00:05:00,667 You're so funny! 118 00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:02,333 - I'm here with my dad. - oh yeah? 119 00:05:02,367 --> 00:05:06,067 Are you coming To my parents' 25th anniversary party? 120 00:05:06,067 --> 00:05:07,667 I am. 121 00:05:07,700 --> 00:05:09,900 - oh. Are you? - eh... 122 00:05:09,933 --> 00:05:11,900 It'll be fun, really. Think about it. 123 00:05:11,933 --> 00:05:13,867 I'm not gonna Think about it, But whatever. 124 00:05:13,900 --> 00:05:15,633 - I really hope you come. - well, thanks. 125 00:05:15,667 --> 00:05:17,067 - it's so good to see you. - good to see you. 126 00:05:17,100 --> 00:05:19,500 - wow, great to see you. - yeah. Bye-bye. 127 00:05:19,533 --> 00:05:21,233 Bye. 128 00:05:22,533 --> 00:05:25,067 All right, Is it my imagination? 129 00:05:25,100 --> 00:05:27,500 Does she like you That much or does she Dislike me that much? 130 00:05:27,533 --> 00:05:31,167 Oh, lesbians love me. They love me. 131 00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:33,167 - how is that? - well, when I first Got to l.A. 132 00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:35,200 You remember-- You know patty, My friend patty. 133 00:05:35,233 --> 00:05:36,733 - patty, yeah. - well, she's a lesbian. 134 00:05:36,767 --> 00:05:38,067 - yes. - you know, so, obviously, 135 00:05:38,067 --> 00:05:40,567 They talk amongst themselves, And the word got out 136 00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:42,700 That I'm a friend O' lesbians. 137 00:05:42,733 --> 00:05:45,767 - ( exclaims ) You're a friend o' lesbians! - yes, they know that. 138 00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:47,967 So the community Has completely embraced you. 139 00:05:48,067 --> 00:05:51,133 Totally embraced me. Completely. 140 00:05:51,167 --> 00:05:53,100 More so than any other Community. 141 00:05:53,133 --> 00:05:55,067 Including jews. 142 00:05:55,067 --> 00:05:57,233 - ready? This way. - hi, two. Yeah. 143 00:05:57,267 --> 00:05:59,733 ( slow piano music Playing ) 144 00:05:59,767 --> 00:06:02,267 Oh, jeez. 145 00:06:03,867 --> 00:06:06,833 The men's room key From the private Investigator's office. 146 00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:08,433 I forgot To bring it back. 147 00:06:08,467 --> 00:06:11,367 - I'm always doing that. - hey, 148 00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:13,633 Check out The bow-tie here. 149 00:06:13,667 --> 00:06:15,233 It's a smart look. 150 00:06:15,267 --> 00:06:17,500 I think I'm gonna Get me one of those. 151 00:06:17,533 --> 00:06:19,567 You know what? You oughtta try Wearing a bow-tie. 152 00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:21,900 - it'd be a good look For you. Hi! - hi. 153 00:06:21,933 --> 00:06:23,300 - how are you doing? How are you doing? - great! 154 00:06:23,333 --> 00:06:25,067 Hey, thanks for sending The invite back. 155 00:06:25,100 --> 00:06:27,100 - oh, sure. I'm excited. - we're gonna have a blast. 156 00:06:27,133 --> 00:06:29,433 - it's gonna be-- Are you coming? - eh... 157 00:06:29,467 --> 00:06:31,733 - tell me you're coming. Please. - I don't know. 158 00:06:31,767 --> 00:06:33,600 25 years of marriage! 159 00:06:33,633 --> 00:06:35,967 - rosie's coming. - rosie o'donnell? 160 00:06:36,067 --> 00:06:38,967 And I have Larry david's place card Right next to hers. 161 00:06:39,067 --> 00:06:41,533 - really? You're Sitting me next to her? - right next to her. 162 00:06:41,567 --> 00:06:44,133 - you know rosie o'donnell? - I know her from new york. 163 00:06:44,167 --> 00:06:46,433 - we used to hang out Together doing comedy. - you'll have a great time. 164 00:06:46,467 --> 00:06:48,933 - just send The invitation back, okay? - oh, thank you. 165 00:06:48,967 --> 00:06:50,933 - I'll see you guys there. I'm excited. - by the way, 166 00:06:50,967 --> 00:06:53,433 - jodie's really looking good. - she does look great. 167 00:06:53,467 --> 00:06:55,533 - doesn't she look great? - oh, thanks a lot, yeah. 168 00:06:55,567 --> 00:06:57,567 She's dating a guy. I think it's serious. 169 00:06:57,600 --> 00:06:59,067 She's dating a guy?! 170 00:06:59,067 --> 00:07:01,233 ( chuckles ) Yeah, she's no longer gay. 171 00:07:01,267 --> 00:07:04,500 ( laughs ) What? You're kidding! 172 00:07:04,533 --> 00:07:06,467 That's fantastic! 173 00:07:06,500 --> 00:07:08,667 Congratulations! Good for you. 174 00:07:08,700 --> 00:07:11,267 She's not a lesbian Anymore. 175 00:07:11,300 --> 00:07:14,133 Oh my god. Good going. 176 00:07:14,167 --> 00:07:16,233 All right, I'll see you, uh, soon. 177 00:07:16,267 --> 00:07:18,700 Yeah, I'll see you At the party. 178 00:07:29,233 --> 00:07:32,500 Larry, we need to talk. 179 00:07:34,533 --> 00:07:36,300 It's over? 180 00:07:37,167 --> 00:07:39,567 What's over? 181 00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:41,067 The marriage. 182 00:07:43,067 --> 00:07:45,067 Why would our marriage Be over? 183 00:07:45,067 --> 00:07:46,333 You said, 184 00:07:46,367 --> 00:07:48,433 "We need to talk." 185 00:07:48,467 --> 00:07:51,233 Yeah, we need to talk about Marty funkhouser's party! 186 00:07:51,267 --> 00:07:54,300 ( chuckles ) Oh, okay. I thought-- 187 00:07:54,333 --> 00:07:57,633 - eh, forget it. - no no no, what did You think? 188 00:07:58,967 --> 00:08:01,433 Well, you know, you said, "We need to talk." 189 00:08:02,667 --> 00:08:04,200 Generally, When couples break up, 190 00:08:04,233 --> 00:08:06,433 That's how they Introduce it, you know, "We need to talk." 191 00:08:06,467 --> 00:08:09,367 - so I just thought it was-- - well, why would you-- 192 00:08:09,400 --> 00:08:11,067 Why would you Even think that? 193 00:08:11,100 --> 00:08:13,600 Well, because women Have broken up with me Many times, 194 00:08:13,633 --> 00:08:15,800 And they've always Introduced it with "We need to talk." 195 00:08:15,833 --> 00:08:18,800 So I'm just Sort of conditioned For that response. 196 00:08:18,833 --> 00:08:21,367 And when women Broke up with you, 197 00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:23,833 Did you light up Like that? 198 00:08:23,867 --> 00:08:25,367 Light up? 199 00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:26,467 - yeah. - did I light up? 200 00:08:26,500 --> 00:08:28,967 ( imitates ) "Oh, it's over?" 201 00:08:29,067 --> 00:08:30,733 You know, It could have been A defense mechanism. 202 00:08:30,767 --> 00:08:33,667 That's how I react to things. I go the other way, 203 00:08:33,700 --> 00:08:37,400 So I don't get hurt. I protect myself. 204 00:08:37,433 --> 00:08:40,300 You understand. So what about the party? Marty funkhouser's party-- 205 00:08:40,333 --> 00:08:42,200 Have you been thinking About this for a while? 206 00:08:42,233 --> 00:08:45,167 No! Not at all! No, of course not. 207 00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:48,533 So what about The funkhouser party? 208 00:08:48,567 --> 00:08:51,667 Well, I wanted to know If we're going or not. 209 00:08:51,700 --> 00:08:54,067 I need to send in The rsvp and-- 210 00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:56,600 I wasn't going, and now I've changed my mind. 211 00:08:56,633 --> 00:08:59,167 Rosie o'donnell's Gonna be there. 212 00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:01,367 Our table. 213 00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:02,967 And you know what else? 214 00:09:03,067 --> 00:09:05,800 I might wear a bow-tie. 215 00:09:05,833 --> 00:09:08,467 - what do you think of that? - you're gonna wear a bow-tie? 216 00:09:08,500 --> 00:09:11,467 - are you loving that? Is that fantastic? - ( knocking ) 217 00:09:11,500 --> 00:09:12,933 How about that For an idea, huh? 218 00:09:12,967 --> 00:09:14,833 I, well-- 219 00:09:14,867 --> 00:09:17,067 You're gonna love it. 220 00:09:17,067 --> 00:09:19,100 - well, look who's here. - wanda! 221 00:09:19,133 --> 00:09:21,233 - look who's here. - how are you doing? 222 00:09:21,267 --> 00:09:22,800 Welcome! This is our new house. 223 00:09:22,833 --> 00:09:24,833 - what do you think? - well, what do you think? 224 00:09:24,867 --> 00:09:26,300 - oh, the rental house. - this is a rental. 225 00:09:26,333 --> 00:09:30,100 It's just for a few months Until the renovation's done. You know. 226 00:09:30,133 --> 00:09:32,633 Shit, I mean, You're renting, So I can be honest. 227 00:09:32,667 --> 00:09:34,200 - cheryl: yeah, yeah. - I don't like it. 228 00:09:34,233 --> 00:09:36,133 - kinda cold, like a hotel. - yeah. 229 00:09:36,167 --> 00:09:38,800 A hotel? Hotels are good. You know, there's a lot Of activity 230 00:09:38,833 --> 00:09:40,600 In the hotel lobby. I think that's a good thing. 231 00:09:40,633 --> 00:09:42,800 Why don't you put A little bellman's cap on... 232 00:09:42,833 --> 00:09:44,833 - okay, I'll put A bellman's cap on. - ...And run around. 233 00:09:44,867 --> 00:09:47,067 Put a little concierge desk Over there. 234 00:09:47,100 --> 00:09:50,067 - hey, wanda, let me Ask you a question. - what? 235 00:09:50,067 --> 00:09:52,200 Is it wrong to assume 236 00:09:52,233 --> 00:09:55,967 That a black man Wearing a bow-tie Is a muslim? 237 00:09:56,067 --> 00:09:58,233 Why are you asking me Some bullshit like that? 238 00:09:58,267 --> 00:09:59,700 What the fuck, larry?! 239 00:09:59,733 --> 00:10:02,267 I'm not your link Into the black world, okay? 240 00:10:02,300 --> 00:10:05,633 So stop asking me Shit about black people And stuff, all right? 241 00:10:05,667 --> 00:10:07,367 Okay, but let me Ask you this: 242 00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:09,767 Have you ever seen A black man 243 00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:13,067 Wearing a bow-tie Who's not a muslim? 244 00:10:13,100 --> 00:10:15,567 - who gives a fuck? - it's just something You may have observed. 245 00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:17,267 - have you observed-- - larry, I don't-- 246 00:10:17,300 --> 00:10:19,867 - have you ever observed A black man... - larry, I don't-- 247 00:10:19,900 --> 00:10:22,233 ...Who's not a muslim wearing A bow-tie? That's all. 248 00:10:22,267 --> 00:10:24,767 You think farrakhan Went out and bought up 249 00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:25,900 All the bow-ties Or something? 250 00:10:25,933 --> 00:10:27,933 He's sitting there Holding on to bow-ties 251 00:10:27,967 --> 00:10:29,967 And only muslims get 'em? What the fuck, larry? 252 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:32,067 You-- what-- no. I don't know. 253 00:10:32,100 --> 00:10:33,500 Fair enough. Good answer. 254 00:10:33,533 --> 00:10:35,433 "I don't know." I totally accept it. 255 00:10:35,467 --> 00:10:37,333 - I got the dog. - that's what I want to see. 256 00:10:37,367 --> 00:10:40,367 - I know, you've got To see him. Sheriff! - sheriff! 257 00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:42,900 - larry: hello boy! - wanda: he's a cutie! 258 00:10:42,933 --> 00:10:46,400 ( growling, barking ) 259 00:10:46,433 --> 00:10:49,733 - what the hell-- - larry: I think It's you, wanda. 260 00:10:49,767 --> 00:10:52,367 - one of y'all Wanna grab cujo? - um... 261 00:10:53,833 --> 00:10:56,167 Come on, it's just wanda. It's just wanda. 262 00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:58,733 I'm sorry. He's very friendly. 263 00:11:00,767 --> 00:11:02,133 We're all done in there. 264 00:11:02,167 --> 00:11:04,533 Just, uh, you have to wait Overnight for the-- 265 00:11:04,567 --> 00:11:06,867 Hey! Hey, little buddy. Come here. 266 00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:08,067 Wanda: What's wrong With your dog? 267 00:11:08,100 --> 00:11:10,067 I don't know. See how friendly he is? 268 00:11:10,067 --> 00:11:13,067 Good dog! He probably smells my dog. 269 00:11:13,067 --> 00:11:16,067 - ( growling, barking ) - repairman #1: oh! 270 00:11:16,100 --> 00:11:17,900 - hey! Shit! - larry: oh my god! 271 00:11:17,933 --> 00:11:19,600 - god! - hey, come on! 272 00:11:19,633 --> 00:11:21,333 - ( repairman #1 laughs ) - get over here. 273 00:11:21,367 --> 00:11:24,133 - what's with-- - I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. 274 00:11:24,167 --> 00:11:26,933 What did you do? 275 00:11:26,967 --> 00:11:29,300 - I'm really sorry. - it's okay. 276 00:11:29,333 --> 00:11:30,767 I don't know What's going on. 277 00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:34,133 - I've never Seen him like this. - I'm really sorry. 278 00:11:34,167 --> 00:11:36,633 - you know What's going on. - huh? 279 00:11:36,667 --> 00:11:38,200 You have a racist dog! 280 00:11:38,233 --> 00:11:40,567 - that dog hates Black people. - wanda. 281 00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:42,200 Larry, you trained the dog To hate black people? 282 00:11:42,233 --> 00:11:44,633 No, I didn't train it To hate black people. 283 00:11:44,667 --> 00:11:46,767 Has it barked At any white people? 284 00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:48,800 No, he's-- he's-- 285 00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:50,067 He hasn't barked At any white people. 286 00:11:50,067 --> 00:11:52,667 Exactly. The dog is racist. 287 00:11:52,700 --> 00:11:54,400 Sheriff's racist? 288 00:11:54,433 --> 00:11:56,067 Sheriff?! 289 00:11:56,067 --> 00:11:58,300 That's a perfect name For a racist dog. 290 00:11:58,333 --> 00:12:01,467 Where did you get this dog, The klan meeting or something? 291 00:12:01,500 --> 00:12:04,067 - larry picked him out At the pound. - the pound. 292 00:12:04,100 --> 00:12:06,367 Sheriff the fucking dog That eats black people. 293 00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:08,800 What the fuck, man? I'll tell you what, 294 00:12:08,833 --> 00:12:11,900 Y'all stay here And pet your crazy-ass Racist dog, 295 00:12:11,933 --> 00:12:13,867 But I am not bringing My black ass 296 00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:16,333 Back up into this Fucking hotel 297 00:12:16,367 --> 00:12:19,667 Until y'all get rid Of that fucking klan dog. 298 00:12:19,700 --> 00:12:21,800 Got a klan dog! 299 00:12:21,833 --> 00:12:24,500 Looking at me Like I'm a damn t-bone. 300 00:12:24,533 --> 00:12:26,933 - cheryl: I'll call you. - aw, shut up. 301 00:12:28,767 --> 00:12:31,300 - ( playing foxtrot music ) - ( people chatting ) 302 00:12:36,833 --> 00:12:37,867 ( people conversing Loudly ) 303 00:12:37,900 --> 00:12:40,300 Waiter: So we have three choices. 304 00:12:40,333 --> 00:12:42,900 I'm sorry, the first That we have is 305 00:12:42,933 --> 00:12:44,900 A skirt steak... 306 00:12:44,933 --> 00:12:47,267 ( talking loudly ) 307 00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:49,333 Look, I can't-- I can't hear you. 308 00:12:49,367 --> 00:12:51,367 I can't hear. Could you repeat that? What's that? 309 00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:53,367 It's a skirt steak, sir, Or stir fry, 310 00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:56,067 Uh, and that's-- ( voice drowned out ) 311 00:12:59,467 --> 00:13:02,400 Excuse me. Excuse me. 312 00:13:02,433 --> 00:13:05,067 Excuse me, could you just Keep it down a little bit? 313 00:13:05,100 --> 00:13:06,733 We can't hear the waiter. We're trying to order. 314 00:13:06,767 --> 00:13:08,767 - keep it down? - we're trying to hear The waiter. 315 00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:11,800 I'm trying to have a good time With my family over here. Know what I mean? 316 00:13:11,833 --> 00:13:13,700 I'm not keeping it down. I'm sorry, 317 00:13:13,733 --> 00:13:17,433 - we need to keep it down For tucker carlson over here. - ( laughing ) 318 00:13:17,467 --> 00:13:19,567 "Keep it down"! 319 00:13:21,933 --> 00:13:25,300 - tucker carlson? - tucker carlson. 320 00:13:25,333 --> 00:13:28,133 Waiter: There's a chicken rotisserie 321 00:13:28,167 --> 00:13:31,267 And a portobello Mushroom salad. 322 00:13:31,300 --> 00:13:33,300 - susie: salad? - yeah, well the portobello 323 00:13:33,333 --> 00:13:36,567 Is cut up Onto mixed greens. 324 00:13:39,100 --> 00:13:42,067 - waiter: Are you a vegetarian? - susie: yeah, it depends. 325 00:13:42,067 --> 00:13:43,733 - jeff: she is. - susie: yeah. 326 00:13:43,767 --> 00:13:46,267 Waiter: so that would Sort of be the best choice. It's really good. 327 00:13:46,300 --> 00:13:49,467 I'm gonna get the skirt steak. Want me to order for you? 328 00:13:49,500 --> 00:13:51,233 - what do you want? - get me the chicken. 329 00:13:51,267 --> 00:13:52,500 Excuse me. 330 00:13:52,533 --> 00:13:55,900 Uh, I'll have The portobello, yeah. 331 00:13:55,933 --> 00:13:59,833 - hey, sue. - what? 332 00:13:59,867 --> 00:14:01,433 What's with the snub? 333 00:14:01,467 --> 00:14:03,267 Oh, come on, larry. 334 00:14:03,300 --> 00:14:05,067 You're acting Like you don't know? 335 00:14:05,067 --> 00:14:06,767 What? I don't know why-- 336 00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:08,400 What? What did I do? 337 00:14:08,433 --> 00:14:10,433 All right, let me Give you a clue, okay? 338 00:14:10,467 --> 00:14:13,233 Starts with a "J" And it ends with an "I." 339 00:14:14,700 --> 00:14:16,367 Jedi? 340 00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:17,367 - you know-- - what? 341 00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:19,133 It's jodi, okay? 342 00:14:19,167 --> 00:14:21,067 Wh-what did you hear? 343 00:14:21,067 --> 00:14:23,400 Well, I heard that you Just got so excited, 344 00:14:23,433 --> 00:14:26,200 Like you were so happy That she wasn't with Women anymore. 345 00:14:26,233 --> 00:14:28,067 - that's ridiculous. - it's not ridiculous. 346 00:14:28,067 --> 00:14:30,633 - I was happy for him. - I don't know what's Happened to you. 347 00:14:30,667 --> 00:14:33,633 I wasn't really happy For him, I was pretending I was happy for him. 348 00:14:33,667 --> 00:14:36,400 - oh really? - but that's all. I was just pretending. 349 00:14:36,433 --> 00:14:39,133 - no no no no. - no, I wasn't sincere. I wasn't sincerely excited. 350 00:14:39,167 --> 00:14:42,067 - you're not Being sincere now. - no, now I'm being sincere. 351 00:14:42,100 --> 00:14:45,767 You know, The lesbian community Used to revere you. 352 00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:48,300 - you used to be such A liberal guy, larry. - I'm liberal. 353 00:14:48,333 --> 00:14:50,267 - no, you're not liberal. - I am liberal. 354 00:14:50,300 --> 00:14:52,467 Look what you look like. Look at the bow-tie. 355 00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:54,633 The bow-tie-- I just tried out A bow-tie, so what? 356 00:14:54,667 --> 00:14:57,400 Excuse me, excuse me. You know what? I'm sorry. 357 00:14:57,433 --> 00:14:59,533 Don't even waste your time Talking to this man. 358 00:14:59,567 --> 00:15:01,867 This man is a racist. 359 00:15:01,900 --> 00:15:03,867 He has a racist dog. 360 00:15:03,900 --> 00:15:06,333 He has a dog That attacks black people. 361 00:15:08,433 --> 00:15:10,367 Okay, I do-- The dog is racist. 362 00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:13,067 - but I didn't train Him to be racist. - larry, forget about it. 363 00:15:13,067 --> 00:15:14,900 How do you know that? 364 00:15:14,933 --> 00:15:16,700 Because we talk, larry. 365 00:15:23,867 --> 00:15:26,333 Are you having fun Or what? 366 00:15:26,367 --> 00:15:28,133 What did you tell jodi? 367 00:15:28,167 --> 00:15:31,333 I told her You were just maybe A little overjoyous 368 00:15:31,367 --> 00:15:33,300 At the fact that she Was dating a boy. 369 00:15:33,333 --> 00:15:35,633 - that's all I said. - all the lesbians Hate me now. 370 00:15:35,667 --> 00:15:37,433 - oh, so it's my fault? - yes it is! 371 00:15:37,467 --> 00:15:40,867 - you celebrated! - I was pretending to be happy For your benefit. 372 00:15:40,900 --> 00:15:42,733 - I don't need benefit! - you need benefit! 373 00:15:42,767 --> 00:15:44,500 - what do I Need benefit for? - you need benefit. 374 00:15:44,533 --> 00:15:46,267 I'm happy if jodi's happy. 375 00:15:46,300 --> 00:15:48,567 - you're overblowing This whole thing. - I don't think so. 376 00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:51,700 - we're at a party. - I don't like being Snubbed by lesbians. 377 00:15:51,733 --> 00:15:53,433 - it's their prerogative. - I'm their biggest supporter. 378 00:15:53,467 --> 00:15:55,300 - you're their biggest Supporter? - yes I am! 379 00:15:55,333 --> 00:15:57,367 Well, they're in trouble then. 380 00:15:57,400 --> 00:15:59,500 By the way, Where's rosie o'donnell? 381 00:15:59,533 --> 00:16:01,967 She's not here yet. 382 00:16:02,067 --> 00:16:03,567 Sure you invited her? 383 00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:05,200 She'll be here. 384 00:16:05,233 --> 00:16:08,533 - when? - soon. 385 00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:24,833 Okay. 386 00:16:26,667 --> 00:16:29,967 Dan, danny, Come over here. I want you to meet somebody. 387 00:16:30,067 --> 00:16:32,200 This is jodi's new boyfriend. This is larry david. 388 00:16:32,233 --> 00:16:34,100 - hi, how are you? - how are you doing? 389 00:16:34,133 --> 00:16:36,533 - have a good time. - ( chuckles ) okay. 390 00:16:36,567 --> 00:16:38,467 Hey, by the way, You and jodi-- 391 00:16:38,500 --> 00:16:41,067 - fantastic, great news. - yeah, yeah. 392 00:16:41,067 --> 00:16:42,900 - pretty good. - yes it is indeed. 393 00:16:42,933 --> 00:16:45,567 Pretty, pretty, 394 00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:48,967 Pretty, pretty good. 395 00:16:49,067 --> 00:16:49,967 - yeah. - terrific. 396 00:16:50,067 --> 00:16:52,300 And to have to overcome 397 00:16:52,333 --> 00:16:54,067 The whole situation, 398 00:16:54,067 --> 00:16:55,833 The whole sexual thing, You know? 399 00:16:55,867 --> 00:16:58,900 Oh. Oh, there's nothing To overcome, really. 400 00:16:58,933 --> 00:17:02,067 Well, you know, The fact that she's been With women before you. 401 00:17:02,067 --> 00:17:04,867 - I know-- - I'd be really Intimidated by that, 402 00:17:04,900 --> 00:17:07,333 - because, you know, We really-- - intimidated? 403 00:17:07,367 --> 00:17:09,233 Well, because we don't know What we're doing 404 00:17:09,267 --> 00:17:11,400 As much as the women know. You know, it's their Equipment. 405 00:17:11,433 --> 00:17:14,333 They own the equipment, So they know what to do With it. 406 00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:15,733 You know what's Going on down there? 407 00:17:15,767 --> 00:17:18,600 - I don't have any idea. - I'd like to think I do. 408 00:17:18,633 --> 00:17:23,067 That whole area is so Mysterious to me, you know? 409 00:17:23,100 --> 00:17:25,500 - I'm just saying it's-- - well, I mean-- 410 00:17:25,533 --> 00:17:28,400 ( chuckles ) I'd be intimidated, I know that. 411 00:17:32,067 --> 00:17:33,667 Yeah. 412 00:17:40,067 --> 00:17:42,933 I always wondered, Do you walk around in Your bikini at home? 413 00:17:42,967 --> 00:17:46,233 - the way he talks, You'd think that he's got-- - hey. 414 00:17:46,267 --> 00:17:48,500 I think I want To go home. 415 00:17:48,533 --> 00:17:49,800 Let's go home. 416 00:17:49,833 --> 00:17:51,900 No, we haven't even Had dessert yet. 417 00:17:51,933 --> 00:17:54,067 So what? We don't need dessert. Come on. 418 00:17:54,067 --> 00:17:55,667 Well, it's rude. You stay for dessert. 419 00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:58,233 - then you can go. - so what, dessert? It's no big deal. 420 00:17:58,267 --> 00:18:01,800 - we can just go. Come on. - why do you want to go home? 421 00:18:01,833 --> 00:18:05,467 I need to use The bathroom. 422 00:18:05,500 --> 00:18:08,200 - so go use the bathroom. - I don't want to use This bathroom. 423 00:18:08,233 --> 00:18:09,767 - I want my own-- - why? 424 00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:12,100 This project demands I get back to my base. 425 00:18:12,133 --> 00:18:14,100 I need my base. 426 00:18:14,133 --> 00:18:16,400 - we're not going home-- - jeff: what's the matter? 427 00:18:16,433 --> 00:18:18,067 - larry wants to go home... - what-- 428 00:18:18,067 --> 00:18:20,067 To use the bathroom. It's like-- 429 00:18:20,067 --> 00:18:22,133 Cheryl, you need to tell The whole table? 430 00:18:22,167 --> 00:18:23,667 - why don't you make An announcement? - hold on here. 431 00:18:23,700 --> 00:18:27,067 You've never done That with me at lunch? It's the craziest thing. 432 00:18:27,100 --> 00:18:29,900 It's ridiculous. He can use this bathroom. 433 00:18:29,933 --> 00:18:31,800 - that's what everybody-- - you're a gentile. 434 00:18:31,833 --> 00:18:34,833 You'll go in The middle of fifth avenue. It's different for jews. 435 00:18:34,867 --> 00:18:36,567 - no, you're at an affair. - what? 436 00:18:36,600 --> 00:18:39,133 You cannot leave An affair before The dessert is served. 437 00:18:39,167 --> 00:18:41,600 What is this dessert thing? We don't have to leave after. 438 00:18:41,633 --> 00:18:43,433 - we can leave before dessert. - jeff: better to leave after. 439 00:18:43,467 --> 00:18:45,467 No, you do not leave Before dessert. 440 00:18:45,500 --> 00:18:47,300 Who made this up? Where's this rule? 441 00:18:47,333 --> 00:18:49,967 Everybody here seems To know, but the rules Don't apply to you? 442 00:18:50,067 --> 00:18:52,500 What am I supposed to do? Sit here for four hours 443 00:18:52,533 --> 00:18:54,633 - and be uncomfortable? - should I go clean it for you Before you go in there? 444 00:18:54,667 --> 00:18:57,200 - it's not even The cleanliness. - okay, just go. 445 00:18:57,233 --> 00:18:59,833 - it's not a cleanliness issue. - we don't need to talk About your bathroom-- 446 00:18:59,867 --> 00:19:01,933 - so just go. - you're the one Who's telling everybody 447 00:19:01,967 --> 00:19:03,900 - in the whole place! - just go! 448 00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:25,467 Hey, where do you Think you're going, pal? What are you doing? 449 00:19:25,500 --> 00:19:29,067 ( stuttering ) I'm going to the bathroom. 450 00:19:29,067 --> 00:19:31,400 - that's a handicapped stall. - we're waiting in line. 451 00:19:31,433 --> 00:19:34,100 ( stuttering ) I have a stutter, 452 00:19:34,133 --> 00:19:36,567 You pricks! 453 00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:39,267 Stutter my ass! That's for people Who can't walk. 454 00:19:39,300 --> 00:19:41,833 Oh, all right, fine, okay. 455 00:19:41,867 --> 00:19:44,433 Oh, your stutter's gone, Jackass! 456 00:19:44,467 --> 00:19:46,767 - give me a fucking Break, asshole. - stupid ass. 457 00:19:47,967 --> 00:19:49,767 Larry: All right, that sounds good. 458 00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:52,433 All right, I'll see you In about 10-15 minutes. 459 00:19:52,467 --> 00:19:54,633 All right, great. Hey. 460 00:19:54,667 --> 00:19:56,967 - I'll see you In a few hours. - huh? Few hours? 461 00:19:57,067 --> 00:19:58,200 - yeah. - where are you going? 462 00:19:58,233 --> 00:20:00,067 - I'm meeting julie. - ( phone rings ) 463 00:20:00,067 --> 00:20:03,067 - don't forget To take the dog out. - hello. 464 00:20:03,100 --> 00:20:06,267 Out? What do you mean? Out for a walk Or out with me? 465 00:20:06,300 --> 00:20:07,667 Jones: Hello, mr. David. 466 00:20:07,700 --> 00:20:10,600 - this is omar jones. - oh, hi. 467 00:20:10,633 --> 00:20:13,800 I gotta tell you, mr. David, I was thinking about Taking the case, 468 00:20:13,833 --> 00:20:15,567 But I got a distressing Call today 469 00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:17,667 About your behavior Last night at the banquet. 470 00:20:17,700 --> 00:20:19,533 What are you Talking about? 471 00:20:19,567 --> 00:20:21,533 According to one Of the brothers, you said, 472 00:20:21,567 --> 00:20:23,267 "Keep it down." 473 00:20:23,300 --> 00:20:25,867 No no, all that happened was I was trying to order 474 00:20:25,900 --> 00:20:28,133 And I couldn't hear The waiter because some Of your brothers 475 00:20:28,167 --> 00:20:31,133 Were making too much noise At the next table, that's all. 476 00:20:31,167 --> 00:20:33,133 How do you even know About this? 477 00:20:33,167 --> 00:20:36,000 We talk, mr. David. We talk. 478 00:20:36,033 --> 00:20:38,800 - huh. - and what about My bathroom key? 479 00:20:38,833 --> 00:20:41,700 I'm really sorry about that. I'm returning it today, I promise. 480 00:20:41,733 --> 00:20:43,300 Well, like I said, I'm gonna have to think About it. 481 00:20:43,333 --> 00:20:45,133 Thank you. 482 00:20:48,533 --> 00:20:50,533 ( barks ) 483 00:20:52,667 --> 00:20:54,267 - ( barks ) - ( screams ) 484 00:20:56,333 --> 00:20:58,133 How was everything? 485 00:20:58,167 --> 00:20:59,300 - pretty good. - great. 486 00:20:59,333 --> 00:21:01,700 Do you want coffee, Dessert, on the house? 487 00:21:01,733 --> 00:21:03,733 - on the house? - yeah. 488 00:21:03,767 --> 00:21:06,133 I'll have a cupcake. 489 00:21:06,167 --> 00:21:08,467 - yeah, I'll take A dessert on the house. - okay. 490 00:21:08,500 --> 00:21:11,267 - fabulous. Thank you. - are those new glasses? 491 00:21:11,300 --> 00:21:12,767 - no, I just cleaned them. - ( laughs ) 492 00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:15,467 It's nice To have you back, larry. 493 00:21:18,300 --> 00:21:21,500 You, my friend, are back In the lesbian bosom. 494 00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:26,467 ( waltz playing loudly ) 495 00:21:40,933 --> 00:21:43,100 Wow. 496 00:21:43,133 --> 00:21:45,233 - I'm back. - you are back. 497 00:21:45,267 --> 00:21:48,533 By the looks of things, Better than ever. 498 00:21:48,567 --> 00:21:52,400 But what-- I wonder What turned it around. 499 00:21:55,100 --> 00:21:59,300 Oh dear. Uh-oh. 500 00:21:59,333 --> 00:22:00,567 What? 501 00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:02,533 - what does funkhouser want? - I don't know. 502 00:22:02,567 --> 00:22:05,800 I'll be right back. How did he even know I was here? 503 00:22:08,300 --> 00:22:10,633 What did you say to dan? 504 00:22:10,667 --> 00:22:13,067 What did I-- Hello, boy. 505 00:22:13,100 --> 00:22:15,633 - did you meet Sheriff, my dog? - no, I didn't. 506 00:22:15,667 --> 00:22:19,200 I said, "Dan, This is larry david." Then I left you. 507 00:22:19,233 --> 00:22:20,800 - and I said hi, I said hello. - yeah, yeah. 508 00:22:20,833 --> 00:22:23,900 - I said, "Hi, dan." - yeah, what else? 509 00:22:23,933 --> 00:22:27,067 You know, A little small talk, "Hi, how are you doing? 510 00:22:27,067 --> 00:22:29,733 - where are you from?" And all that. - that's it? 511 00:22:29,767 --> 00:22:31,167 And then, what did I say? I said, 512 00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:35,367 "It must be hard, As a guy, to follow--" 513 00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:37,767 Why didn't you just say, "Hello, I'm larry. 514 00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:40,800 - nice to meet you"? - I said that after hi. I said hi, then I said that. 515 00:22:40,833 --> 00:22:43,600 - what is wrong with you? - problem? 516 00:22:43,633 --> 00:22:47,733 Yeah, problem. Now she's back with a woman. 517 00:22:47,767 --> 00:22:51,367 No wonder why They're all being So nice to me in there. 518 00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:54,067 They're all smiling at me. Of course, it makes Perfect sense. 519 00:22:54,067 --> 00:22:56,200 - I want to say Something else. - uh-huh. 520 00:22:56,233 --> 00:22:59,200 You left my party Before dessert! 521 00:22:59,233 --> 00:23:00,633 How can you do that?! 522 00:23:00,667 --> 00:23:02,600 It's not proper etiquette! 523 00:23:02,633 --> 00:23:06,600 I don't subscribe To the wait-for-dessert rule 524 00:23:06,633 --> 00:23:07,900 Before you can leave a party. 525 00:23:07,933 --> 00:23:11,133 Yeah, no one cares What you subscribe to, okay? 526 00:23:11,167 --> 00:23:14,633 We were trying to recreate What happened 25 years ago, 527 00:23:14,667 --> 00:23:17,600 And I said, "Larry, would you like To make a toast?" 528 00:23:17,633 --> 00:23:21,367 And someone said, "Larry went home To take a shit." 529 00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:23,067 Ah. 530 00:23:27,667 --> 00:23:30,267 You stay here. Okay, boy? 531 00:23:31,300 --> 00:23:32,867 You stay, sheriff. 532 00:23:40,700 --> 00:23:43,067 - hey! - hey, larry. 533 00:23:43,067 --> 00:23:44,600 - hey, hi! - how are you? 534 00:23:44,633 --> 00:23:47,233 - great. - good to see you. 535 00:23:47,267 --> 00:23:48,967 Hey, by the way, I don't know 536 00:23:49,067 --> 00:23:52,533 If you heard anything About what's been Going on-- 537 00:23:52,567 --> 00:23:55,600 - oh, come on, I heard. Right? I'm in the loop. - yeah, right. Yeah, yeah. 538 00:23:55,633 --> 00:23:57,667 It's all right, though. I don't think you should 539 00:23:57,700 --> 00:23:59,667 Worry about it. Just-- It's all good now. 540 00:23:59,700 --> 00:24:02,300 You know, what happened That day was 541 00:24:02,333 --> 00:24:03,933 I just got a Little excited, But not-- 542 00:24:03,967 --> 00:24:06,567 Hey hey hey hey, larr. I stood up at the meeting, 543 00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:08,467 I told everybody, "I know the guy." 544 00:24:08,500 --> 00:24:10,333 I vouched for you. You're all right. 545 00:24:10,367 --> 00:24:12,733 - you're something, You know that? - come on, come on! 546 00:24:12,767 --> 00:24:14,767 - it all worked out, right? - it's great. 547 00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:17,800 - listen, she's happy, We're happy, you know? - fantastic. 548 00:24:17,833 --> 00:24:21,167 She's back on the team. Everything's good. Don't even think about it. 549 00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:23,133 - fantastic. - all right. 550 00:24:23,167 --> 00:24:24,367 - hey. - yeah. 551 00:24:24,400 --> 00:24:27,133 You know, we missed you At funkhouser's party. 552 00:24:27,167 --> 00:24:28,533 The what? 553 00:24:28,567 --> 00:24:31,667 Marty funkhouser's 25th anniversary party. 554 00:24:31,700 --> 00:24:33,633 - oh, jodi's dad? - yeah. 555 00:24:33,667 --> 00:24:36,067 Yeah, I don't really Know him. No. 556 00:24:36,100 --> 00:24:39,733 - you weren't invited to that? - nope, no no no. 557 00:24:39,767 --> 00:24:42,367 Was it good? Did you go? 558 00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:45,467 - yeah, yeah, I went. - yeah, it was good? 559 00:24:45,500 --> 00:24:47,567 And don't worry About that other thing. 560 00:24:47,600 --> 00:24:50,467 I just want you to know, Gone, like it never happened. 561 00:24:50,500 --> 00:24:52,467 - okay? Like it Never happened. - thanks, sweetheart. 562 00:24:52,500 --> 00:24:54,400 - all the lesbians love you. - okay, love you. 563 00:24:54,433 --> 00:24:55,767 - I love you back. - love you. 564 00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:57,800 I love you. Everyone loves you. All of us. 565 00:25:01,933 --> 00:25:04,067 ( eastern music playing ) 566 00:25:05,067 --> 00:25:06,967 ( knocks on door ) 567 00:25:09,633 --> 00:25:11,300 You a a muslim! 568 00:25:12,700 --> 00:25:14,833 Go, pray, pray. 569 00:25:17,933 --> 00:25:19,767 ( sighs ) 570 00:25:20,867 --> 00:25:22,400 Let me ask you something. 571 00:25:22,433 --> 00:25:24,633 Are brothers and sisters A little overly sensitive 572 00:25:24,667 --> 00:25:26,233 To being told To keep it down? 573 00:25:26,267 --> 00:25:28,867 Because I know in the movies You guys tend to make 574 00:25:28,900 --> 00:25:31,733 A lot of noise sometimes. Am I right? 575 00:25:31,767 --> 00:25:34,533 'cause that's kind of What happened at the party. 576 00:25:34,567 --> 00:25:36,933 - ( sighs ) - what, did I-- 577 00:25:36,967 --> 00:25:38,200 No, go back. 578 00:25:38,233 --> 00:25:41,533 Did I interrupt The praying? I'm sorry. 579 00:25:41,567 --> 00:25:43,367 - don't worry about it. - all right. 580 00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:45,300 - listen, mr. David-- - look at the way you Fold that up. 581 00:25:45,333 --> 00:25:47,067 It's like a yoga mat, huh? 582 00:25:47,067 --> 00:25:48,500 I just want you to know 583 00:25:48,533 --> 00:25:51,600 That muslims are A very forgiving people. 584 00:25:51,633 --> 00:25:53,567 They are? 585 00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:56,533 - yes we are. We're very forgiving. - really? Huh. 586 00:25:56,567 --> 00:25:58,433 - well, it's true. - there's a lot 587 00:25:58,467 --> 00:26:01,567 Of meshugana muslims, Though, running around, Are there not? 588 00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:03,733 Being that we are A forgiving people, I have decided 589 00:26:03,767 --> 00:26:06,767 To take on your case. 590 00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:10,100 But I'm gonna have To charge you 591 00:26:10,133 --> 00:26:12,167 A higher rate Than I charge most people. 592 00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:15,067 Well, whatever you have To do. 593 00:26:15,100 --> 00:26:17,600 - you're gonna take the case? - I'm gonna take the case. 594 00:26:17,633 --> 00:26:19,433 - thank you so much. - you're welcome. 595 00:26:19,467 --> 00:26:21,300 Do muslims shake? 596 00:26:21,333 --> 00:26:23,333 - yes, we do. - you do? 597 00:26:23,367 --> 00:26:24,833 - yes, we do. - great. 598 00:26:24,867 --> 00:26:26,933 To tell you the truth, 599 00:26:26,967 --> 00:26:28,933 I'm very excited About this. 600 00:26:28,967 --> 00:26:31,067 The whole adoption thing-- 601 00:26:31,067 --> 00:26:33,233 I mean, this could be A huge thing for me. 602 00:26:33,267 --> 00:26:34,933 All right, mr. David. 603 00:26:34,967 --> 00:26:36,600 Oh, guess what. 604 00:26:36,633 --> 00:26:38,600 Bathroom key. 605 00:26:38,633 --> 00:26:41,667 You know what? 606 00:26:41,700 --> 00:26:44,167 I gotta go again. I'm so sorry. 607 00:26:44,200 --> 00:26:46,567 - all right. - ( door opens and closes ) 608 00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:14,200 Well, looky here! 609 00:27:14,233 --> 00:27:16,533 Look what's doing here! 610 00:27:17,567 --> 00:27:20,300 Aren't you supposed To be in here? 611 00:27:20,333 --> 00:27:22,800 It seems to me you're Using the wrong toilet. 612 00:27:22,833 --> 00:27:24,633 Somebody was in there. I had to use the normal one. 613 00:27:24,667 --> 00:27:26,733 Really? First of all, 614 00:27:26,767 --> 00:27:30,267 We don't like To be referred to As "Normal," okay? 615 00:27:30,300 --> 00:27:33,567 We're "Able-bodied." "Able-bodied," not "Normal." 616 00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:35,700 That's like from the '80s. Who doesn't know that? 617 00:27:35,733 --> 00:27:38,233 I had to go To the bathroom. Somebody was in there. 618 00:27:38,267 --> 00:27:40,567 Well, then you wait. 619 00:27:40,600 --> 00:27:43,067 You wait. 620 00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:55,167 All right, sheriff! 621 00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:57,867 Okay, good boy! Good boy. 622 00:27:57,900 --> 00:27:59,733 Mr. David. 623 00:27:59,767 --> 00:28:01,933 My bathroom key. 624 00:28:01,967 --> 00:28:04,467 ( ominous music playing ) 625 00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:16,667 Hey, nice dog. 626 00:28:16,700 --> 00:28:19,167 ( screams ) No, don't! 627 00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:22,800 I love dogs. I have a couple of my own. 628 00:28:24,467 --> 00:28:26,067 All right, Just give me my key. 629 00:28:26,067 --> 00:28:27,433 Oh, I can't believe I forgot. 630 00:28:27,467 --> 00:28:29,767 Hopefully we Won't have to keep going Through the same thing. 631 00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:33,867 I'm sorry. Won't happen again. Won't happen again. 632 00:28:33,900 --> 00:28:37,267 - nice dog. - thank you. Good to see you. 633 00:28:38,133 --> 00:28:39,100 Hey! 634 00:28:39,133 --> 00:28:42,600 Good boy, good boy! Yeah! 635 00:28:42,633 --> 00:28:44,100 Rosie: Oh, look! 636 00:28:44,133 --> 00:28:45,900 You got yourself A doggie! 637 00:28:45,933 --> 00:28:48,067 ( growls, barking ) 638 00:28:50,167 --> 00:28:52,133 - sorry. - ( theme music playing ) 49677

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