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1
00:00:06,367 --> 00:00:08,333
( theme music playing )
2
00:00:13,867 --> 00:00:15,967
So then he goes
Like this...
3
00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:18,800
I go, "What is it, dad?"
He goes...
4
00:00:18,833 --> 00:00:20,533
( raspy ) like this.
He can't talk.
5
00:00:20,567 --> 00:00:22,833
He's in the hospital,
The bed, you know?
6
00:00:22,867 --> 00:00:24,267
( rasps )
7
00:00:24,300 --> 00:00:27,700
So I lean in,
And he whispers in my ear.
8
00:00:27,733 --> 00:00:29,533
He says to me,
9
00:00:29,567 --> 00:00:32,167
( slowly )
"You're adopted."
10
00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:36,000
- he said that?
- I think he said that.
11
00:00:36,033 --> 00:00:38,967
Maybe he said,
"You're a doctor."
I don't know.
12
00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:41,533
But why would he say
I'm a doctor? I would know
If I'm a doctor.
13
00:00:41,567 --> 00:00:43,733
Why do you think
He would wait until
Now to tell you?
14
00:00:43,767 --> 00:00:45,300
Maybe he thought
He was dying.
15
00:00:45,333 --> 00:00:47,367
But I'm still not 100% sure
That he said it.
16
00:00:47,400 --> 00:00:49,633
So basically
What you're saying is,
17
00:00:49,667 --> 00:00:51,933
You want me to find out
If you're adopted or not.
18
00:00:51,967 --> 00:00:53,600
Yes.
19
00:00:53,633 --> 00:00:55,867
First, how did you
Find me?
20
00:00:55,900 --> 00:00:58,167
My friend said
He read this big article
21
00:00:58,200 --> 00:01:00,400
About you
In the l.A. Magazine.
22
00:01:00,433 --> 00:01:03,733
"Best best private
Investigator in los angeles."
23
00:01:03,767 --> 00:01:05,100
Look, mr. David,
24
00:01:05,133 --> 00:01:07,767
I have to be honest
With you.
25
00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:09,567
My business
And what I do--
26
00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:11,233
What I do is
I service the community.
27
00:01:11,267 --> 00:01:12,900
Basicallywhat I'm saying is,
28
00:01:12,933 --> 00:01:15,433
I don't see a way
That you would, uh,
29
00:01:15,467 --> 00:01:17,200
Be helping my community.
30
00:01:17,233 --> 00:01:19,433
What about...
31
00:01:19,467 --> 00:01:21,400
Calling some bingo games
Or something?
32
00:01:21,433 --> 00:01:24,233
You got, like,
A community center
For bingo?
33
00:01:24,267 --> 00:01:26,100
Bingo's a distraction.
34
00:01:26,133 --> 00:01:28,233
Don't underestimate bingo.
35
00:01:29,900 --> 00:01:32,267
I've got extra sneakers
That I don't wear anymore
36
00:01:32,300 --> 00:01:34,867
- in pretty good
Condition, I must say.
- extra sneakers?
37
00:01:34,900 --> 00:01:36,767
I'd be more than happy
To donate 'em.
38
00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:39,700
Mr. David, I don't think
This is gonna work.
39
00:01:39,733 --> 00:01:41,600
It would mean
An awful lot to me.
40
00:01:41,633 --> 00:01:43,833
Please please,
Think about it.
41
00:01:43,867 --> 00:01:46,133
If there's anything
I can do to convince you,
42
00:01:46,167 --> 00:01:48,600
- I would.
- I can't promise anything.
43
00:01:48,633 --> 00:01:50,800
What about a big brother
Kind of thing?
44
00:01:52,567 --> 00:01:54,400
Let me talk to some
Of my community leaders
45
00:01:54,433 --> 00:01:56,300
- and see exactly
What the community needs--
- yeah, okay,
46
00:01:56,333 --> 00:01:58,167
I'm not talking about
For a long time.
47
00:01:58,200 --> 00:02:00,767
Maybe for one afternoon,
48
00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:02,600
To a movie or something.
49
00:02:03,833 --> 00:02:06,900
Um, is that a key
To the men's room?
50
00:02:06,933 --> 00:02:09,133
Well, it says "Men"On it. Yes.
51
00:02:09,167 --> 00:02:11,067
It's a natural question
To ask.
52
00:02:12,300 --> 00:02:13,833
- yes.
- may I borrow the key?
53
00:02:13,867 --> 00:02:16,233
- yes, you may
Borrow the key.
- thank you.
54
00:02:16,267 --> 00:02:18,167
Okay.
Thanks, mr. Jones.
55
00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:20,200
- and you'll think
About it?
- I will.
56
00:02:20,233 --> 00:02:21,200
By the way...
57
00:02:21,233 --> 00:02:23,700
Love the bow-tie.
58
00:02:23,733 --> 00:02:26,500
( whistling "Yankee doodle,"
Tapping )
59
00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:29,533
( toilet flushing )
60
00:02:32,767 --> 00:02:35,667
( stops whistling )
61
00:02:35,700 --> 00:02:38,767
- what are you doing?!
- using the bathroom.
62
00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:41,400
That's my stall!
Did you see the plaque
On it--
63
00:02:41,433 --> 00:02:43,900
Yes, I know,
But somebody was using
The other one, so I--
64
00:02:43,933 --> 00:02:45,567
Well, then you wait!
65
00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:48,533
I couldn't wait.
It was an emergency.
I had to go!
66
00:02:48,567 --> 00:02:50,933
There's one stall for me,
And you're in it!
67
00:02:50,967 --> 00:02:53,067
If you were here,
I would have given you
First dibs.
68
00:02:53,100 --> 00:02:55,767
But honestly, I haven't seen
A handicapped person
In the bathroom,
69
00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:58,900
Maybe ever.
So I thought I could
Perhaps take my chances.
70
00:02:58,933 --> 00:03:01,067
"A handicapped person"?
71
00:03:01,100 --> 00:03:03,500
That's nice.
Oh, that's nice!
72
00:03:03,533 --> 00:03:05,333
- it's called disabled.
Disabled.
- disabled?
73
00:03:05,367 --> 00:03:07,700
Well, that doesn't
Sound so hot.
74
00:03:07,733 --> 00:03:10,567
I don't really care what it
Sounds like to you, okay?
It's disabled.
75
00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:12,700
I think I would prefer
Handicapped.
76
00:03:12,733 --> 00:03:15,767
God, you know
How archaic that word is?
"A handicapped person"!
77
00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:17,200
That's demeaning,
Don't you know?
78
00:03:17,233 --> 00:03:18,833
- I'm a disabled person.
- oh, sorry.
79
00:03:18,867 --> 00:03:20,667
- ( mocking )
You're sorry.
- oh, sorry.
80
00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:22,733
Now you've
Learned a lesson.
Please, don't ever go
81
00:03:22,767 --> 00:03:24,833
- in my stall again!
All right?
- fine, okay.
82
00:03:24,867 --> 00:03:25,967
- thanks so much!
- you're welcome.
83
00:03:26,067 --> 00:03:27,500
- I appreciate it.
- you're welcome.
84
00:03:27,533 --> 00:03:29,333
Douche-bag.
85
00:03:34,833 --> 00:03:36,200
So you think
He's a muslim?
86
00:03:36,233 --> 00:03:38,733
- he had the bow-tie.
- huh?
87
00:03:38,767 --> 00:03:41,300
Do black men
Who aren't muslims
Ever wear bow-ties?
88
00:03:41,333 --> 00:03:44,500
- I haven't seen it.
- it'd be interesting
To find that out.
89
00:03:44,533 --> 00:03:46,867
- I'm surprised
You didn't ask him.
- yeah, me too.
90
00:03:46,900 --> 00:03:49,100
I mean, you know,
I don't care either way,
I'm just curious.
91
00:03:49,133 --> 00:03:52,067
Well, I'll tell you something,
That I think he's a muslim.
92
00:03:52,067 --> 00:03:54,067
( quietly )
Hey, that's
A handicapped spot.
93
00:03:57,767 --> 00:03:59,667
Wh-wh-what?
94
00:03:59,700 --> 00:04:02,067
What's with the walking?
95
00:04:02,067 --> 00:04:03,767
( stuttering )
Fuck you!
96
00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:06,700
I have a stutter!
97
00:04:06,733 --> 00:04:08,367
Yeah, but you can walk.
98
00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:11,200
( stuttering )
Look at my license plate!
99
00:04:11,233 --> 00:04:13,200
I have permission,
100
00:04:13,233 --> 00:04:15,533
You fucking prick!
101
00:04:26,300 --> 00:04:28,433
Oh hey...
102
00:04:28,467 --> 00:04:30,067
We got a dog.
103
00:04:30,067 --> 00:04:32,333
Really? Why?
104
00:04:32,367 --> 00:04:34,933
- she wanted a dog.
- you have to walk it
And everything?
105
00:04:34,967 --> 00:04:37,433
- I'm sure I'll wind up
Doing stuff.
- oh, definitely.
106
00:04:37,467 --> 00:04:39,500
I know, yeah,
But you know what?
It's kind of cute.
107
00:04:39,533 --> 00:04:40,833
- larry!
- I kind of like it. Hi!
108
00:04:40,867 --> 00:04:43,200
- hi!
- jodi!
109
00:04:43,233 --> 00:04:45,067
- how are you?
- great, great.
110
00:04:45,067 --> 00:04:47,567
- so good to see you!
- great to see you.
111
00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:49,167
- hi jodi.
- hi.
112
00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:51,200
- how are you doing?
- how are you doing,
Ms. Jodi funkhouser?
113
00:04:51,233 --> 00:04:52,567
( laughs )
114
00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:54,267
- so what's going on?
- nothing.
115
00:04:54,300 --> 00:04:56,133
- seeking attention,
Getting rejected.
- ( laughs )
116
00:04:56,167 --> 00:04:58,733
- are those new glasses?
- no, but I cleaned them.
117
00:04:58,767 --> 00:05:00,667
You're so funny!
118
00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:02,333
- I'm here with my dad.
- oh yeah?
119
00:05:02,367 --> 00:05:06,067
Are you coming
To my parents'
25th anniversary party?
120
00:05:06,067 --> 00:05:07,667
I am.
121
00:05:07,700 --> 00:05:09,900
- oh. Are you?
- eh...
122
00:05:09,933 --> 00:05:11,900
It'll be fun, really.
Think about it.
123
00:05:11,933 --> 00:05:13,867
I'm not gonna
Think about it,
But whatever.
124
00:05:13,900 --> 00:05:15,633
- I really hope you come.
- well, thanks.
125
00:05:15,667 --> 00:05:17,067
- it's so good to see you.
- good to see you.
126
00:05:17,100 --> 00:05:19,500
- wow, great to see you.
- yeah. Bye-bye.
127
00:05:19,533 --> 00:05:21,233
Bye.
128
00:05:22,533 --> 00:05:25,067
All right,
Is it my imagination?
129
00:05:25,100 --> 00:05:27,500
Does she like you
That much or does she
Dislike me that much?
130
00:05:27,533 --> 00:05:31,167
Oh, lesbians love me.
They love me.
131
00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:33,167
- how is that?
- well, when I first
Got to l.A.
132
00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:35,200
You remember--
You know patty,
My friend patty.
133
00:05:35,233 --> 00:05:36,733
- patty, yeah.
- well, she's a lesbian.
134
00:05:36,767 --> 00:05:38,067
- yes.
- you know, so, obviously,
135
00:05:38,067 --> 00:05:40,567
They talk amongst themselves,
And the word got out
136
00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:42,700
That I'm a friend
O' lesbians.
137
00:05:42,733 --> 00:05:45,767
- ( exclaims )
You're a friend o' lesbians!
- yes, they know that.
138
00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:47,967
So the community
Has completely embraced you.
139
00:05:48,067 --> 00:05:51,133
Totally embraced me.
Completely.
140
00:05:51,167 --> 00:05:53,100
More so than any other
Community.
141
00:05:53,133 --> 00:05:55,067
Including jews.
142
00:05:55,067 --> 00:05:57,233
- ready? This way.
- hi, two. Yeah.
143
00:05:57,267 --> 00:05:59,733
( slow piano music
Playing )
144
00:05:59,767 --> 00:06:02,267
Oh, jeez.
145
00:06:03,867 --> 00:06:06,833
The men's room key
From the private
Investigator's office.
146
00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:08,433
I forgot
To bring it back.
147
00:06:08,467 --> 00:06:11,367
- I'm always doing that.
- hey,
148
00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:13,633
Check out
The bow-tie here.
149
00:06:13,667 --> 00:06:15,233
It's a smart look.
150
00:06:15,267 --> 00:06:17,500
I think I'm gonna
Get me one of those.
151
00:06:17,533 --> 00:06:19,567
You know what?
You oughtta try
Wearing a bow-tie.
152
00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:21,900
- it'd be a good look
For you. Hi!
- hi.
153
00:06:21,933 --> 00:06:23,300
- how are you doing?
How are you doing?
- great!
154
00:06:23,333 --> 00:06:25,067
Hey, thanks for sending
The invite back.
155
00:06:25,100 --> 00:06:27,100
- oh, sure. I'm excited.
- we're gonna have a blast.
156
00:06:27,133 --> 00:06:29,433
- it's gonna be--
Are you coming?
- eh...
157
00:06:29,467 --> 00:06:31,733
- tell me you're coming.
Please.
- I don't know.
158
00:06:31,767 --> 00:06:33,600
25 years of marriage!
159
00:06:33,633 --> 00:06:35,967
- rosie's coming.
- rosie o'donnell?
160
00:06:36,067 --> 00:06:38,967
And I have
Larry david's place card
Right next to hers.
161
00:06:39,067 --> 00:06:41,533
- really? You're
Sitting me next to her?
- right next to her.
162
00:06:41,567 --> 00:06:44,133
- you know rosie o'donnell?
- I know her from new york.
163
00:06:44,167 --> 00:06:46,433
- we used to hang out
Together doing comedy.
- you'll have a great time.
164
00:06:46,467 --> 00:06:48,933
- just send
The invitation back, okay?
- oh, thank you.
165
00:06:48,967 --> 00:06:50,933
- I'll see you guys there.
I'm excited.
- by the way,
166
00:06:50,967 --> 00:06:53,433
- jodie's really looking good.
- she does look great.
167
00:06:53,467 --> 00:06:55,533
- doesn't she look great?
- oh, thanks a lot, yeah.
168
00:06:55,567 --> 00:06:57,567
She's dating a guy.
I think it's serious.
169
00:06:57,600 --> 00:06:59,067
She's dating a guy?!
170
00:06:59,067 --> 00:07:01,233
( chuckles )
Yeah, she's no longer gay.
171
00:07:01,267 --> 00:07:04,500
( laughs )
What? You're kidding!
172
00:07:04,533 --> 00:07:06,467
That's fantastic!
173
00:07:06,500 --> 00:07:08,667
Congratulations!
Good for you.
174
00:07:08,700 --> 00:07:11,267
She's not a lesbian
Anymore.
175
00:07:11,300 --> 00:07:14,133
Oh my god.
Good going.
176
00:07:14,167 --> 00:07:16,233
All right,
I'll see you, uh, soon.
177
00:07:16,267 --> 00:07:18,700
Yeah, I'll see you
At the party.
178
00:07:29,233 --> 00:07:32,500
Larry, we need to talk.
179
00:07:34,533 --> 00:07:36,300
It's over?
180
00:07:37,167 --> 00:07:39,567
What's over?
181
00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:41,067
The marriage.
182
00:07:43,067 --> 00:07:45,067
Why would our marriage
Be over?
183
00:07:45,067 --> 00:07:46,333
You said,
184
00:07:46,367 --> 00:07:48,433
"We need to talk."
185
00:07:48,467 --> 00:07:51,233
Yeah, we need to talk about
Marty funkhouser's party!
186
00:07:51,267 --> 00:07:54,300
( chuckles )
Oh, okay. I thought--
187
00:07:54,333 --> 00:07:57,633
- eh, forget it.
- no no no, what did
You think?
188
00:07:58,967 --> 00:08:01,433
Well, you know, you said,
"We need to talk."
189
00:08:02,667 --> 00:08:04,200
Generally,
When couples break up,
190
00:08:04,233 --> 00:08:06,433
That's how they
Introduce it, you know,
"We need to talk."
191
00:08:06,467 --> 00:08:09,367
- so I just thought it was--
- well, why would you--
192
00:08:09,400 --> 00:08:11,067
Why would you
Even think that?
193
00:08:11,100 --> 00:08:13,600
Well, because women
Have broken up with me
Many times,
194
00:08:13,633 --> 00:08:15,800
And they've always
Introduced it with
"We need to talk."
195
00:08:15,833 --> 00:08:18,800
So I'm just
Sort of conditioned
For that response.
196
00:08:18,833 --> 00:08:21,367
And when women
Broke up with you,
197
00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:23,833
Did you light up
Like that?
198
00:08:23,867 --> 00:08:25,367
Light up?
199
00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:26,467
- yeah.
- did I light up?
200
00:08:26,500 --> 00:08:28,967
( imitates )
"Oh, it's over?"
201
00:08:29,067 --> 00:08:30,733
You know,
It could have been
A defense mechanism.
202
00:08:30,767 --> 00:08:33,667
That's how I react to things.
I go the other way,
203
00:08:33,700 --> 00:08:37,400
So I don't get hurt.
I protect myself.
204
00:08:37,433 --> 00:08:40,300
You understand.
So what about the party?
Marty funkhouser's party--
205
00:08:40,333 --> 00:08:42,200
Have you been thinking
About this for a while?
206
00:08:42,233 --> 00:08:45,167
No! Not at all!
No, of course not.
207
00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:48,533
So what about
The funkhouser party?
208
00:08:48,567 --> 00:08:51,667
Well, I wanted to know
If we're going or not.
209
00:08:51,700 --> 00:08:54,067
I need to send in
The rsvp and--
210
00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:56,600
I wasn't going, and now
I've changed my mind.
211
00:08:56,633 --> 00:08:59,167
Rosie o'donnell's
Gonna be there.
212
00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:01,367
Our table.
213
00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:02,967
And you know what else?
214
00:09:03,067 --> 00:09:05,800
I might wear a bow-tie.
215
00:09:05,833 --> 00:09:08,467
- what do you think of that?
- you're gonna wear a bow-tie?
216
00:09:08,500 --> 00:09:11,467
- are you loving that?
Is that fantastic?
- ( knocking )
217
00:09:11,500 --> 00:09:12,933
How about that
For an idea, huh?
218
00:09:12,967 --> 00:09:14,833
I, well--
219
00:09:14,867 --> 00:09:17,067
You're gonna love it.
220
00:09:17,067 --> 00:09:19,100
- well, look who's here.
- wanda!
221
00:09:19,133 --> 00:09:21,233
- look who's here.
- how are you doing?
222
00:09:21,267 --> 00:09:22,800
Welcome!
This is our new house.
223
00:09:22,833 --> 00:09:24,833
- what do you think?
- well, what do you think?
224
00:09:24,867 --> 00:09:26,300
- oh, the rental house.
- this is a rental.
225
00:09:26,333 --> 00:09:30,100
It's just for a few months
Until the renovation's done.
You know.
226
00:09:30,133 --> 00:09:32,633
Shit, I mean,
You're renting,
So I can be honest.
227
00:09:32,667 --> 00:09:34,200
- cheryl: yeah, yeah.
- I don't like it.
228
00:09:34,233 --> 00:09:36,133
- kinda cold, like a hotel.
- yeah.
229
00:09:36,167 --> 00:09:38,800
A hotel? Hotels are good.
You know, there's a lot
Of activity
230
00:09:38,833 --> 00:09:40,600
In the hotel lobby.
I think that's a good thing.
231
00:09:40,633 --> 00:09:42,800
Why don't you put
A little bellman's cap on...
232
00:09:42,833 --> 00:09:44,833
- okay, I'll put
A bellman's cap on.
- ...And run around.
233
00:09:44,867 --> 00:09:47,067
Put a little concierge desk
Over there.
234
00:09:47,100 --> 00:09:50,067
- hey, wanda, let me
Ask you a question.
- what?
235
00:09:50,067 --> 00:09:52,200
Is it wrong to assume
236
00:09:52,233 --> 00:09:55,967
That a black man
Wearing a bow-tie
Is a muslim?
237
00:09:56,067 --> 00:09:58,233
Why are you asking me
Some bullshit like that?
238
00:09:58,267 --> 00:09:59,700
What the fuck, larry?!
239
00:09:59,733 --> 00:10:02,267
I'm not your link
Into the black world, okay?
240
00:10:02,300 --> 00:10:05,633
So stop asking me
Shit about black people
And stuff, all right?
241
00:10:05,667 --> 00:10:07,367
Okay, but let me
Ask you this:
242
00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:09,767
Have you ever seen
A black man
243
00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:13,067
Wearing a bow-tie
Who's not a muslim?
244
00:10:13,100 --> 00:10:15,567
- who gives a fuck?
- it's just something
You may have observed.
245
00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:17,267
- have you observed--
- larry, I don't--
246
00:10:17,300 --> 00:10:19,867
- have you ever observed
A black man...
- larry, I don't--
247
00:10:19,900 --> 00:10:22,233
...Who's not a muslim wearing
A bow-tie? That's all.
248
00:10:22,267 --> 00:10:24,767
You think farrakhan
Went out and bought up
249
00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:25,900
All the bow-ties
Or something?
250
00:10:25,933 --> 00:10:27,933
He's sitting there
Holding on to bow-ties
251
00:10:27,967 --> 00:10:29,967
And only muslims get 'em?
What the fuck, larry?
252
00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:32,067
You-- what-- no.
I don't know.
253
00:10:32,100 --> 00:10:33,500
Fair enough.
Good answer.
254
00:10:33,533 --> 00:10:35,433
"I don't know."
I totally accept it.
255
00:10:35,467 --> 00:10:37,333
- I got the dog.
- that's what I want to see.
256
00:10:37,367 --> 00:10:40,367
- I know, you've got
To see him. Sheriff!
- sheriff!
257
00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:42,900
- larry: hello boy!
- wanda: he's a cutie!
258
00:10:42,933 --> 00:10:46,400
( growling, barking )
259
00:10:46,433 --> 00:10:49,733
- what the hell--
- larry: I think
It's you, wanda.
260
00:10:49,767 --> 00:10:52,367
- one of y'all
Wanna grab cujo?
- um...
261
00:10:53,833 --> 00:10:56,167
Come on, it's just wanda.
It's just wanda.
262
00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:58,733
I'm sorry.
He's very friendly.
263
00:11:00,767 --> 00:11:02,133
We're all done in there.
264
00:11:02,167 --> 00:11:04,533
Just, uh, you have to wait
Overnight for the--
265
00:11:04,567 --> 00:11:06,867
Hey! Hey, little buddy.
Come here.
266
00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:08,067
Wanda:
What's wrong
With your dog?
267
00:11:08,100 --> 00:11:10,067
I don't know.
See how friendly he is?
268
00:11:10,067 --> 00:11:13,067
Good dog!
He probably smells my dog.
269
00:11:13,067 --> 00:11:16,067
- ( growling, barking )
- repairman #1: oh!
270
00:11:16,100 --> 00:11:17,900
- hey! Shit!
- larry: oh my god!
271
00:11:17,933 --> 00:11:19,600
- god!
- hey, come on!
272
00:11:19,633 --> 00:11:21,333
- ( repairman #1 laughs )
- get over here.
273
00:11:21,367 --> 00:11:24,133
- what's with--
- I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
274
00:11:24,167 --> 00:11:26,933
What did you do?
275
00:11:26,967 --> 00:11:29,300
- I'm really sorry.
- it's okay.
276
00:11:29,333 --> 00:11:30,767
I don't know
What's going on.
277
00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:34,133
- I've never
Seen him like this.
- I'm really sorry.
278
00:11:34,167 --> 00:11:36,633
- you know
What's going on.
- huh?
279
00:11:36,667 --> 00:11:38,200
You have a racist dog!
280
00:11:38,233 --> 00:11:40,567
- that dog hates
Black people.
- wanda.
281
00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:42,200
Larry, you trained the dog
To hate black people?
282
00:11:42,233 --> 00:11:44,633
No, I didn't train it
To hate black people.
283
00:11:44,667 --> 00:11:46,767
Has it barked
At any white people?
284
00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:48,800
No, he's-- he's--
285
00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:50,067
He hasn't barked
At any white people.
286
00:11:50,067 --> 00:11:52,667
Exactly.
The dog is racist.
287
00:11:52,700 --> 00:11:54,400
Sheriff's racist?
288
00:11:54,433 --> 00:11:56,067
Sheriff?!
289
00:11:56,067 --> 00:11:58,300
That's a perfect name
For a racist dog.
290
00:11:58,333 --> 00:12:01,467
Where did you get this dog,
The klan meeting or something?
291
00:12:01,500 --> 00:12:04,067
- larry picked him out
At the pound.
- the pound.
292
00:12:04,100 --> 00:12:06,367
Sheriff the fucking dog
That eats black people.
293
00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:08,800
What the fuck, man?
I'll tell you what,
294
00:12:08,833 --> 00:12:11,900
Y'all stay here
And pet your crazy-ass
Racist dog,
295
00:12:11,933 --> 00:12:13,867
But I am not bringing
My black ass
296
00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:16,333
Back up into this
Fucking hotel
297
00:12:16,367 --> 00:12:19,667
Until y'all get rid
Of that fucking klan dog.
298
00:12:19,700 --> 00:12:21,800
Got a klan dog!
299
00:12:21,833 --> 00:12:24,500
Looking at me
Like I'm a damn t-bone.
300
00:12:24,533 --> 00:12:26,933
- cheryl: I'll call you.
- aw, shut up.
301
00:12:28,767 --> 00:12:31,300
- ( playing foxtrot music )
- ( people chatting )
302
00:12:36,833 --> 00:12:37,867
( people conversing
Loudly )
303
00:12:37,900 --> 00:12:40,300
Waiter:
So we have three choices.
304
00:12:40,333 --> 00:12:42,900
I'm sorry, the first
That we have is
305
00:12:42,933 --> 00:12:44,900
A skirt steak...
306
00:12:44,933 --> 00:12:47,267
( talking loudly )
307
00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:49,333
Look, I can't--
I can't hear you.
308
00:12:49,367 --> 00:12:51,367
I can't hear.
Could you repeat that?
What's that?
309
00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:53,367
It's a skirt steak, sir,
Or stir fry,
310
00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:56,067
Uh, and that's--
( voice drowned out )
311
00:12:59,467 --> 00:13:02,400
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
312
00:13:02,433 --> 00:13:05,067
Excuse me, could you just
Keep it down a little bit?
313
00:13:05,100 --> 00:13:06,733
We can't hear the waiter.
We're trying to order.
314
00:13:06,767 --> 00:13:08,767
- keep it down?
- we're trying to hear
The waiter.
315
00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:11,800
I'm trying to have a good time
With my family over here.
Know what I mean?
316
00:13:11,833 --> 00:13:13,700
I'm not keeping it down.
I'm sorry,
317
00:13:13,733 --> 00:13:17,433
- we need to keep it down
For tucker carlson over here.
- ( laughing )
318
00:13:17,467 --> 00:13:19,567
"Keep it down"!
319
00:13:21,933 --> 00:13:25,300
- tucker carlson?
- tucker carlson.
320
00:13:25,333 --> 00:13:28,133
Waiter:
There's a chicken rotisserie
321
00:13:28,167 --> 00:13:31,267
And a portobello
Mushroom salad.
322
00:13:31,300 --> 00:13:33,300
- susie: salad?
- yeah, well the portobello
323
00:13:33,333 --> 00:13:36,567
Is cut up
Onto mixed greens.
324
00:13:39,100 --> 00:13:42,067
- waiter:
Are you a vegetarian?
- susie: yeah, it depends.
325
00:13:42,067 --> 00:13:43,733
- jeff: she is.
- susie: yeah.
326
00:13:43,767 --> 00:13:46,267
Waiter: so that would
Sort of be the best choice.
It's really good.
327
00:13:46,300 --> 00:13:49,467
I'm gonna get the skirt steak.
Want me to order for you?
328
00:13:49,500 --> 00:13:51,233
- what do you want?
- get me the chicken.
329
00:13:51,267 --> 00:13:52,500
Excuse me.
330
00:13:52,533 --> 00:13:55,900
Uh, I'll have
The portobello, yeah.
331
00:13:55,933 --> 00:13:59,833
- hey, sue.
- what?
332
00:13:59,867 --> 00:14:01,433
What's with the snub?
333
00:14:01,467 --> 00:14:03,267
Oh, come on, larry.
334
00:14:03,300 --> 00:14:05,067
You're acting
Like you don't know?
335
00:14:05,067 --> 00:14:06,767
What?
I don't know why--
336
00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:08,400
What?
What did I do?
337
00:14:08,433 --> 00:14:10,433
All right, let me
Give you a clue, okay?
338
00:14:10,467 --> 00:14:13,233
Starts with a "J"
And it ends with an "I."
339
00:14:14,700 --> 00:14:16,367
Jedi?
340
00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:17,367
- you know--
- what?
341
00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:19,133
It's jodi, okay?
342
00:14:19,167 --> 00:14:21,067
Wh-what did you hear?
343
00:14:21,067 --> 00:14:23,400
Well, I heard that you
Just got so excited,
344
00:14:23,433 --> 00:14:26,200
Like you were so happy
That she wasn't with
Women anymore.
345
00:14:26,233 --> 00:14:28,067
- that's ridiculous.
- it's not ridiculous.
346
00:14:28,067 --> 00:14:30,633
- I was happy for him.
- I don't know what's
Happened to you.
347
00:14:30,667 --> 00:14:33,633
I wasn't really happy
For him, I was pretending
I was happy for him.
348
00:14:33,667 --> 00:14:36,400
- oh really?
- but that's all.
I was just pretending.
349
00:14:36,433 --> 00:14:39,133
- no no no no.
- no, I wasn't sincere.
I wasn't sincerely excited.
350
00:14:39,167 --> 00:14:42,067
- you're not
Being sincere now.
- no, now I'm being sincere.
351
00:14:42,100 --> 00:14:45,767
You know,
The lesbian community
Used to revere you.
352
00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:48,300
- you used to be such
A liberal guy, larry.
- I'm liberal.
353
00:14:48,333 --> 00:14:50,267
- no, you're not liberal.
- I am liberal.
354
00:14:50,300 --> 00:14:52,467
Look what you look like.
Look at the bow-tie.
355
00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:54,633
The bow-tie--
I just tried out
A bow-tie, so what?
356
00:14:54,667 --> 00:14:57,400
Excuse me, excuse me.
You know what?
I'm sorry.
357
00:14:57,433 --> 00:14:59,533
Don't even waste your time
Talking to this man.
358
00:14:59,567 --> 00:15:01,867
This man is a racist.
359
00:15:01,900 --> 00:15:03,867
He has a racist dog.
360
00:15:03,900 --> 00:15:06,333
He has a dog
That attacks black people.
361
00:15:08,433 --> 00:15:10,367
Okay, I do--
The dog is racist.
362
00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:13,067
- but I didn't train
Him to be racist.
- larry, forget about it.
363
00:15:13,067 --> 00:15:14,900
How do you know that?
364
00:15:14,933 --> 00:15:16,700
Because we talk, larry.
365
00:15:23,867 --> 00:15:26,333
Are you having fun
Or what?
366
00:15:26,367 --> 00:15:28,133
What did you tell jodi?
367
00:15:28,167 --> 00:15:31,333
I told her
You were just maybe
A little overjoyous
368
00:15:31,367 --> 00:15:33,300
At the fact that she
Was dating a boy.
369
00:15:33,333 --> 00:15:35,633
- that's all I said.
- all the lesbians
Hate me now.
370
00:15:35,667 --> 00:15:37,433
- oh, so it's my fault?
- yes it is!
371
00:15:37,467 --> 00:15:40,867
- you celebrated!
- I was pretending to be happy
For your benefit.
372
00:15:40,900 --> 00:15:42,733
- I don't need benefit!
- you need benefit!
373
00:15:42,767 --> 00:15:44,500
- what do I
Need benefit for?
- you need benefit.
374
00:15:44,533 --> 00:15:46,267
I'm happy if jodi's happy.
375
00:15:46,300 --> 00:15:48,567
- you're overblowing
This whole thing.
- I don't think so.
376
00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:51,700
- we're at a party.
- I don't like being
Snubbed by lesbians.
377
00:15:51,733 --> 00:15:53,433
- it's their prerogative.
- I'm their biggest supporter.
378
00:15:53,467 --> 00:15:55,300
- you're their biggest
Supporter?
- yes I am!
379
00:15:55,333 --> 00:15:57,367
Well, they're in trouble then.
380
00:15:57,400 --> 00:15:59,500
By the way,
Where's rosie o'donnell?
381
00:15:59,533 --> 00:16:01,967
She's not here yet.
382
00:16:02,067 --> 00:16:03,567
Sure you invited her?
383
00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:05,200
She'll be here.
384
00:16:05,233 --> 00:16:08,533
- when?
- soon.
385
00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:24,833
Okay.
386
00:16:26,667 --> 00:16:29,967
Dan, danny,
Come over here.
I want you to meet somebody.
387
00:16:30,067 --> 00:16:32,200
This is jodi's new boyfriend.
This is larry david.
388
00:16:32,233 --> 00:16:34,100
- hi, how are you?
- how are you doing?
389
00:16:34,133 --> 00:16:36,533
- have a good time.
- ( chuckles ) okay.
390
00:16:36,567 --> 00:16:38,467
Hey, by the way,
You and jodi--
391
00:16:38,500 --> 00:16:41,067
- fantastic, great news.
- yeah, yeah.
392
00:16:41,067 --> 00:16:42,900
- pretty good.
- yes it is indeed.
393
00:16:42,933 --> 00:16:45,567
Pretty, pretty,
394
00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:48,967
Pretty, pretty good.
395
00:16:49,067 --> 00:16:49,967
- yeah.
- terrific.
396
00:16:50,067 --> 00:16:52,300
And to have to overcome
397
00:16:52,333 --> 00:16:54,067
The whole situation,
398
00:16:54,067 --> 00:16:55,833
The whole sexual thing,
You know?
399
00:16:55,867 --> 00:16:58,900
Oh. Oh, there's nothing
To overcome, really.
400
00:16:58,933 --> 00:17:02,067
Well, you know,
The fact that she's been
With women before you.
401
00:17:02,067 --> 00:17:04,867
- I know--
- I'd be really
Intimidated by that,
402
00:17:04,900 --> 00:17:07,333
- because, you know,
We really--
- intimidated?
403
00:17:07,367 --> 00:17:09,233
Well, because we don't know
What we're doing
404
00:17:09,267 --> 00:17:11,400
As much as the women know.
You know, it's their
Equipment.
405
00:17:11,433 --> 00:17:14,333
They own the equipment,
So they know what to do
With it.
406
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:15,733
You know what's
Going on down there?
407
00:17:15,767 --> 00:17:18,600
- I don't have any idea.
- I'd like to think I do.
408
00:17:18,633 --> 00:17:23,067
That whole area is so
Mysterious to me, you know?
409
00:17:23,100 --> 00:17:25,500
- I'm just saying it's--
- well, I mean--
410
00:17:25,533 --> 00:17:28,400
( chuckles )
I'd be intimidated,
I know that.
411
00:17:32,067 --> 00:17:33,667
Yeah.
412
00:17:40,067 --> 00:17:42,933
I always wondered,
Do you walk around in
Your bikini at home?
413
00:17:42,967 --> 00:17:46,233
- the way he talks,
You'd think that he's got--
- hey.
414
00:17:46,267 --> 00:17:48,500
I think I want
To go home.
415
00:17:48,533 --> 00:17:49,800
Let's go home.
416
00:17:49,833 --> 00:17:51,900
No, we haven't even
Had dessert yet.
417
00:17:51,933 --> 00:17:54,067
So what?
We don't need dessert.
Come on.
418
00:17:54,067 --> 00:17:55,667
Well, it's rude.
You stay for dessert.
419
00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:58,233
- then you can go.
- so what, dessert?
It's no big deal.
420
00:17:58,267 --> 00:18:01,800
- we can just go. Come on.
- why do you want to go home?
421
00:18:01,833 --> 00:18:05,467
I need to use
The bathroom.
422
00:18:05,500 --> 00:18:08,200
- so go use the bathroom.
- I don't want to use
This bathroom.
423
00:18:08,233 --> 00:18:09,767
- I want my own--
- why?
424
00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:12,100
This project demands
I get back to my base.
425
00:18:12,133 --> 00:18:14,100
I need my base.
426
00:18:14,133 --> 00:18:16,400
- we're not going home--
- jeff: what's the matter?
427
00:18:16,433 --> 00:18:18,067
- larry wants to go home...
- what--
428
00:18:18,067 --> 00:18:20,067
To use the bathroom.
It's like--
429
00:18:20,067 --> 00:18:22,133
Cheryl, you need to tell
The whole table?
430
00:18:22,167 --> 00:18:23,667
- why don't you make
An announcement?
- hold on here.
431
00:18:23,700 --> 00:18:27,067
You've never done
That with me at lunch?
It's the craziest thing.
432
00:18:27,100 --> 00:18:29,900
It's ridiculous.
He can use this bathroom.
433
00:18:29,933 --> 00:18:31,800
- that's what everybody--
- you're a gentile.
434
00:18:31,833 --> 00:18:34,833
You'll go in
The middle of fifth avenue.
It's different for jews.
435
00:18:34,867 --> 00:18:36,567
- no, you're at an affair.
- what?
436
00:18:36,600 --> 00:18:39,133
You cannot leave
An affair before
The dessert is served.
437
00:18:39,167 --> 00:18:41,600
What is this dessert thing?
We don't have to leave after.
438
00:18:41,633 --> 00:18:43,433
- we can leave before dessert.
- jeff: better to leave after.
439
00:18:43,467 --> 00:18:45,467
No, you do not leave
Before dessert.
440
00:18:45,500 --> 00:18:47,300
Who made this up?
Where's this rule?
441
00:18:47,333 --> 00:18:49,967
Everybody here seems
To know, but the rules
Don't apply to you?
442
00:18:50,067 --> 00:18:52,500
What am I supposed to do?
Sit here for four hours
443
00:18:52,533 --> 00:18:54,633
- and be uncomfortable?
- should I go clean it for you
Before you go in there?
444
00:18:54,667 --> 00:18:57,200
- it's not even
The cleanliness.
- okay, just go.
445
00:18:57,233 --> 00:18:59,833
- it's not a cleanliness issue.
- we don't need to talk
About your bathroom--
446
00:18:59,867 --> 00:19:01,933
- so just go.
- you're the one
Who's telling everybody
447
00:19:01,967 --> 00:19:03,900
- in the whole place!
- just go!
448
00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:25,467
Hey, where do you
Think you're going, pal?
What are you doing?
449
00:19:25,500 --> 00:19:29,067
( stuttering )
I'm going to the bathroom.
450
00:19:29,067 --> 00:19:31,400
- that's a handicapped stall.
- we're waiting in line.
451
00:19:31,433 --> 00:19:34,100
( stuttering )
I have a stutter,
452
00:19:34,133 --> 00:19:36,567
You pricks!
453
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:39,267
Stutter my ass!
That's for people
Who can't walk.
454
00:19:39,300 --> 00:19:41,833
Oh, all right, fine, okay.
455
00:19:41,867 --> 00:19:44,433
Oh, your stutter's gone,
Jackass!
456
00:19:44,467 --> 00:19:46,767
- give me a fucking
Break, asshole.
- stupid ass.
457
00:19:47,967 --> 00:19:49,767
Larry:
All right, that sounds good.
458
00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:52,433
All right, I'll see you
In about 10-15 minutes.
459
00:19:52,467 --> 00:19:54,633
All right, great.
Hey.
460
00:19:54,667 --> 00:19:56,967
- I'll see you
In a few hours.
- huh? Few hours?
461
00:19:57,067 --> 00:19:58,200
- yeah.
- where are you going?
462
00:19:58,233 --> 00:20:00,067
- I'm meeting julie.
- ( phone rings )
463
00:20:00,067 --> 00:20:03,067
- don't forget
To take the dog out.
- hello.
464
00:20:03,100 --> 00:20:06,267
Out? What do you mean?
Out for a walk
Or out with me?
465
00:20:06,300 --> 00:20:07,667
Jones:
Hello, mr. David.
466
00:20:07,700 --> 00:20:10,600
- this is omar jones.
- oh, hi.
467
00:20:10,633 --> 00:20:13,800
I gotta tell you, mr. David,
I was thinking about
Taking the case,
468
00:20:13,833 --> 00:20:15,567
But I got a distressing
Call today
469
00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:17,667
About your behavior
Last night at the banquet.
470
00:20:17,700 --> 00:20:19,533
What are you
Talking about?
471
00:20:19,567 --> 00:20:21,533
According to one
Of the brothers, you said,
472
00:20:21,567 --> 00:20:23,267
"Keep it down."
473
00:20:23,300 --> 00:20:25,867
No no, all that happened was
I was trying to order
474
00:20:25,900 --> 00:20:28,133
And I couldn't hear
The waiter because some
Of your brothers
475
00:20:28,167 --> 00:20:31,133
Were making too much noise
At the next table, that's all.
476
00:20:31,167 --> 00:20:33,133
How do you even know
About this?
477
00:20:33,167 --> 00:20:36,000
We talk, mr. David.
We talk.
478
00:20:36,033 --> 00:20:38,800
- huh.
- and what about
My bathroom key?
479
00:20:38,833 --> 00:20:41,700
I'm really sorry about that.
I'm returning it today,
I promise.
480
00:20:41,733 --> 00:20:43,300
Well, like I said,
I'm gonna have to think
About it.
481
00:20:43,333 --> 00:20:45,133
Thank you.
482
00:20:48,533 --> 00:20:50,533
( barks )
483
00:20:52,667 --> 00:20:54,267
- ( barks )
- ( screams )
484
00:20:56,333 --> 00:20:58,133
How was everything?
485
00:20:58,167 --> 00:20:59,300
- pretty good.
- great.
486
00:20:59,333 --> 00:21:01,700
Do you want coffee,
Dessert, on the house?
487
00:21:01,733 --> 00:21:03,733
- on the house?
- yeah.
488
00:21:03,767 --> 00:21:06,133
I'll have a cupcake.
489
00:21:06,167 --> 00:21:08,467
- yeah, I'll take
A dessert on the house.
- okay.
490
00:21:08,500 --> 00:21:11,267
- fabulous. Thank you.
- are those new glasses?
491
00:21:11,300 --> 00:21:12,767
- no, I just cleaned them.
- ( laughs )
492
00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:15,467
It's nice
To have you back, larry.
493
00:21:18,300 --> 00:21:21,500
You, my friend, are back
In the lesbian bosom.
494
00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:26,467
( waltz playing loudly )
495
00:21:40,933 --> 00:21:43,100
Wow.
496
00:21:43,133 --> 00:21:45,233
- I'm back.
- you are back.
497
00:21:45,267 --> 00:21:48,533
By the looks of things,
Better than ever.
498
00:21:48,567 --> 00:21:52,400
But what-- I wonder
What turned it around.
499
00:21:55,100 --> 00:21:59,300
Oh dear. Uh-oh.
500
00:21:59,333 --> 00:22:00,567
What?
501
00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:02,533
- what does funkhouser want?
- I don't know.
502
00:22:02,567 --> 00:22:05,800
I'll be right back.
How did he even know
I was here?
503
00:22:08,300 --> 00:22:10,633
What did you say to dan?
504
00:22:10,667 --> 00:22:13,067
What did I--
Hello, boy.
505
00:22:13,100 --> 00:22:15,633
- did you meet
Sheriff, my dog?
- no, I didn't.
506
00:22:15,667 --> 00:22:19,200
I said, "Dan,
This is larry david."
Then I left you.
507
00:22:19,233 --> 00:22:20,800
- and I said hi,
I said hello.
- yeah, yeah.
508
00:22:20,833 --> 00:22:23,900
- I said, "Hi, dan."
- yeah, what else?
509
00:22:23,933 --> 00:22:27,067
You know,
A little small talk,
"Hi, how are you doing?
510
00:22:27,067 --> 00:22:29,733
- where are you from?"
And all that.
- that's it?
511
00:22:29,767 --> 00:22:31,167
And then, what did
I say? I said,
512
00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:35,367
"It must be hard,
As a guy, to follow--"
513
00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:37,767
Why didn't you just say,
"Hello, I'm larry.
514
00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:40,800
- nice to meet you"?
- I said that after hi.
I said hi, then I said that.
515
00:22:40,833 --> 00:22:43,600
- what is wrong with you?
- problem?
516
00:22:43,633 --> 00:22:47,733
Yeah, problem.
Now she's back with a woman.
517
00:22:47,767 --> 00:22:51,367
No wonder why
They're all being
So nice to me in there.
518
00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:54,067
They're all smiling at me.
Of course, it makes
Perfect sense.
519
00:22:54,067 --> 00:22:56,200
- I want to say
Something else.
- uh-huh.
520
00:22:56,233 --> 00:22:59,200
You left my party
Before dessert!
521
00:22:59,233 --> 00:23:00,633
How can you do that?!
522
00:23:00,667 --> 00:23:02,600
It's not proper etiquette!
523
00:23:02,633 --> 00:23:06,600
I don't subscribe
To the wait-for-dessert rule
524
00:23:06,633 --> 00:23:07,900
Before you can leave a party.
525
00:23:07,933 --> 00:23:11,133
Yeah, no one cares
What you subscribe to, okay?
526
00:23:11,167 --> 00:23:14,633
We were trying to recreate
What happened 25 years ago,
527
00:23:14,667 --> 00:23:17,600
And I said,
"Larry, would you like
To make a toast?"
528
00:23:17,633 --> 00:23:21,367
And someone said,
"Larry went home
To take a shit."
529
00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:23,067
Ah.
530
00:23:27,667 --> 00:23:30,267
You stay here.
Okay, boy?
531
00:23:31,300 --> 00:23:32,867
You stay, sheriff.
532
00:23:40,700 --> 00:23:43,067
- hey!
- hey, larry.
533
00:23:43,067 --> 00:23:44,600
- hey, hi!
- how are you?
534
00:23:44,633 --> 00:23:47,233
- great.
- good to see you.
535
00:23:47,267 --> 00:23:48,967
Hey, by the way,
I don't know
536
00:23:49,067 --> 00:23:52,533
If you heard anything
About what's been
Going on--
537
00:23:52,567 --> 00:23:55,600
- oh, come on, I heard.
Right? I'm in the loop.
- yeah, right. Yeah, yeah.
538
00:23:55,633 --> 00:23:57,667
It's all right, though.
I don't think you should
539
00:23:57,700 --> 00:23:59,667
Worry about it. Just--
It's all good now.
540
00:23:59,700 --> 00:24:02,300
You know, what happened
That day was
541
00:24:02,333 --> 00:24:03,933
I just got a
Little excited,
But not--
542
00:24:03,967 --> 00:24:06,567
Hey hey hey hey, larr.
I stood up at the meeting,
543
00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:08,467
I told everybody,
"I know the guy."
544
00:24:08,500 --> 00:24:10,333
I vouched for you.
You're all right.
545
00:24:10,367 --> 00:24:12,733
- you're something,
You know that?
- come on, come on!
546
00:24:12,767 --> 00:24:14,767
- it all worked out, right?
- it's great.
547
00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:17,800
- listen, she's happy,
We're happy, you know?
- fantastic.
548
00:24:17,833 --> 00:24:21,167
She's back on the team.
Everything's good.
Don't even think about it.
549
00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:23,133
- fantastic.
- all right.
550
00:24:23,167 --> 00:24:24,367
- hey.
- yeah.
551
00:24:24,400 --> 00:24:27,133
You know, we missed you
At funkhouser's party.
552
00:24:27,167 --> 00:24:28,533
The what?
553
00:24:28,567 --> 00:24:31,667
Marty funkhouser's
25th anniversary party.
554
00:24:31,700 --> 00:24:33,633
- oh, jodi's dad?
- yeah.
555
00:24:33,667 --> 00:24:36,067
Yeah, I don't really
Know him. No.
556
00:24:36,100 --> 00:24:39,733
- you weren't invited to that?
- nope, no no no.
557
00:24:39,767 --> 00:24:42,367
Was it good?
Did you go?
558
00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:45,467
- yeah, yeah, I went.
- yeah, it was good?
559
00:24:45,500 --> 00:24:47,567
And don't worry
About that other thing.
560
00:24:47,600 --> 00:24:50,467
I just want you to know,
Gone, like it never happened.
561
00:24:50,500 --> 00:24:52,467
- okay? Like it
Never happened.
- thanks, sweetheart.
562
00:24:52,500 --> 00:24:54,400
- all the lesbians love you.
- okay, love you.
563
00:24:54,433 --> 00:24:55,767
- I love you back.
- love you.
564
00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:57,800
I love you.
Everyone loves you.
All of us.
565
00:25:01,933 --> 00:25:04,067
( eastern music playing )
566
00:25:05,067 --> 00:25:06,967
( knocks on door )
567
00:25:09,633 --> 00:25:11,300
You a a muslim!
568
00:25:12,700 --> 00:25:14,833
Go, pray, pray.
569
00:25:17,933 --> 00:25:19,767
( sighs )
570
00:25:20,867 --> 00:25:22,400
Let me ask you something.
571
00:25:22,433 --> 00:25:24,633
Are brothers and sisters
A little overly sensitive
572
00:25:24,667 --> 00:25:26,233
To being told
To keep it down?
573
00:25:26,267 --> 00:25:28,867
Because I know in the movies
You guys tend to make
574
00:25:28,900 --> 00:25:31,733
A lot of noise sometimes.
Am I right?
575
00:25:31,767 --> 00:25:34,533
'cause that's kind of
What happened at the party.
576
00:25:34,567 --> 00:25:36,933
- ( sighs )
- what, did I--
577
00:25:36,967 --> 00:25:38,200
No, go back.
578
00:25:38,233 --> 00:25:41,533
Did I interrupt
The praying?
I'm sorry.
579
00:25:41,567 --> 00:25:43,367
- don't worry about it.
- all right.
580
00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:45,300
- listen, mr. David--
- look at the way you
Fold that up.
581
00:25:45,333 --> 00:25:47,067
It's like a yoga mat, huh?
582
00:25:47,067 --> 00:25:48,500
I just want you to know
583
00:25:48,533 --> 00:25:51,600
That muslims are
A very forgiving people.
584
00:25:51,633 --> 00:25:53,567
They are?
585
00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:56,533
- yes we are.
We're very forgiving.
- really? Huh.
586
00:25:56,567 --> 00:25:58,433
- well, it's true.
- there's a lot
587
00:25:58,467 --> 00:26:01,567
Of meshugana muslims,
Though, running around,
Are there not?
588
00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:03,733
Being that we are
A forgiving people,
I have decided
589
00:26:03,767 --> 00:26:06,767
To take on your case.
590
00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:10,100
But I'm gonna have
To charge you
591
00:26:10,133 --> 00:26:12,167
A higher rate
Than I charge most people.
592
00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:15,067
Well, whatever you have
To do.
593
00:26:15,100 --> 00:26:17,600
- you're gonna take the case?
- I'm gonna take the case.
594
00:26:17,633 --> 00:26:19,433
- thank you so much.
- you're welcome.
595
00:26:19,467 --> 00:26:21,300
Do muslims shake?
596
00:26:21,333 --> 00:26:23,333
- yes, we do.
- you do?
597
00:26:23,367 --> 00:26:24,833
- yes, we do.
- great.
598
00:26:24,867 --> 00:26:26,933
To tell you the truth,
599
00:26:26,967 --> 00:26:28,933
I'm very excited
About this.
600
00:26:28,967 --> 00:26:31,067
The whole adoption thing--
601
00:26:31,067 --> 00:26:33,233
I mean, this could be
A huge thing for me.
602
00:26:33,267 --> 00:26:34,933
All right, mr. David.
603
00:26:34,967 --> 00:26:36,600
Oh, guess what.
604
00:26:36,633 --> 00:26:38,600
Bathroom key.
605
00:26:38,633 --> 00:26:41,667
You know what?
606
00:26:41,700 --> 00:26:44,167
I gotta go again.
I'm so sorry.
607
00:26:44,200 --> 00:26:46,567
- all right.
- ( door opens and closes )
608
00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:14,200
Well, looky here!
609
00:27:14,233 --> 00:27:16,533
Look what's doing here!
610
00:27:17,567 --> 00:27:20,300
Aren't you supposed
To be in here?
611
00:27:20,333 --> 00:27:22,800
It seems to me you're
Using the wrong toilet.
612
00:27:22,833 --> 00:27:24,633
Somebody was in there.
I had to use the normal one.
613
00:27:24,667 --> 00:27:26,733
Really?
First of all,
614
00:27:26,767 --> 00:27:30,267
We don't like
To be referred to
As "Normal," okay?
615
00:27:30,300 --> 00:27:33,567
We're "Able-bodied."
"Able-bodied," not "Normal."
616
00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:35,700
That's like from the '80s.
Who doesn't know that?
617
00:27:35,733 --> 00:27:38,233
I had to go
To the bathroom.
Somebody was in there.
618
00:27:38,267 --> 00:27:40,567
Well, then you wait.
619
00:27:40,600 --> 00:27:43,067
You wait.
620
00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:55,167
All right, sheriff!
621
00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:57,867
Okay, good boy!
Good boy.
622
00:27:57,900 --> 00:27:59,733
Mr. David.
623
00:27:59,767 --> 00:28:01,933
My bathroom key.
624
00:28:01,967 --> 00:28:04,467
( ominous music playing )
625
00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:16,667
Hey, nice dog.
626
00:28:16,700 --> 00:28:19,167
( screams )
No, don't!
627
00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:22,800
I love dogs.
I have a couple of my own.
628
00:28:24,467 --> 00:28:26,067
All right,
Just give me my key.
629
00:28:26,067 --> 00:28:27,433
Oh, I can't believe
I forgot.
630
00:28:27,467 --> 00:28:29,767
Hopefully we
Won't have to keep going
Through the same thing.
631
00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:33,867
I'm sorry.
Won't happen again.
Won't happen again.
632
00:28:33,900 --> 00:28:37,267
- nice dog.
- thank you.
Good to see you.
633
00:28:38,133 --> 00:28:39,100
Hey!
634
00:28:39,133 --> 00:28:42,600
Good boy, good boy!
Yeah!
635
00:28:42,633 --> 00:28:44,100
Rosie:
Oh, look!
636
00:28:44,133 --> 00:28:45,900
You got yourself
A doggie!
637
00:28:45,933 --> 00:28:48,067
( growls, barking )
638
00:28:50,167 --> 00:28:52,133
- sorry.
- ( theme music playing )
49677
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