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1
00:00:06,567 --> 00:00:10,700
Captions made possible by
Home box office, inc.
2
00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:19,800
Thank god
You stopped.
3
00:00:19,833 --> 00:00:22,467
Okay, um, I'm not
Even gonna get into
4
00:00:22,500 --> 00:00:24,533
What's wrong with
The actual choreography.
5
00:00:24,567 --> 00:00:26,467
I'm gonna start with
Your shoes, okay ?
6
00:00:26,500 --> 00:00:28,667
I told you to get
Capezio jazz oxfords.
7
00:00:28,700 --> 00:00:30,133
I will get
Those shoes today.
8
00:00:30,167 --> 00:00:31,933
You're gonna get the shoes, but
You're also gonna get the steps,
9
00:00:31,967 --> 00:00:33,467
So we're gonna break
It down one more time,
10
00:00:33,500 --> 00:00:36,067
And just watch
Only my feet.
11
00:00:36,100 --> 00:00:37,600
I've been doing this
Since I was seven.
12
00:00:37,633 --> 00:00:40,433
My sounds are
A little off.
13
00:00:40,467 --> 00:00:42,300
'cause I don't really
Practice that much.
14
00:00:42,333 --> 00:00:43,400
Uh, you know what ?
15
00:00:43,433 --> 00:00:45,933
I can do that, but not
The way you're doing it.
16
00:00:45,967 --> 00:00:46,700
I can go...
17
00:00:48,667 --> 00:00:50,233
Why can't I
Just do that ?
18
00:00:50,267 --> 00:00:51,833
Because that's not
The choreography !
19
00:00:51,867 --> 00:00:54,600
There you go.
20
00:00:54,633 --> 00:00:56,333
Okay, I'm gonna
Think about this.
21
00:00:56,367 --> 00:00:57,533
You move your feet
22
00:00:57,567 --> 00:00:59,233
Nobody knows what's the hell
Is going on down there.
23
00:00:59,267 --> 00:01:01,667
Uh, dancers know,
Dancers aficionados...
24
00:01:01,700 --> 00:01:03,067
Hello ?
25
00:01:03,100 --> 00:01:04,800
Morning, everybody.
26
00:01:04,833 --> 00:01:05,400
Hey.
27
00:01:05,433 --> 00:01:06,633
I'm michael.
28
00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:09,400
Yeah, larry.
29
00:01:09,433 --> 00:01:11,200
Michael.
30
00:01:11,233 --> 00:01:12,700
Nice to meet you.
31
00:01:12,733 --> 00:01:14,533
You know what ?
32
00:01:14,567 --> 00:01:16,200
I helped you move.
33
00:01:16,233 --> 00:01:17,900
Three years ago.
34
00:01:17,933 --> 00:01:19,367
Me and richard lewis.
35
00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:20,900
You were standing
On the street.
36
00:01:20,933 --> 00:01:24,400
You were soliciting
People for help.
37
00:01:24,433 --> 00:01:25,667
Huh ?
38
00:01:25,700 --> 00:01:26,567
Huh ?
39
00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:27,733
You ?
40
00:01:27,767 --> 00:01:29,067
That was me,
Me and richard lewis.
41
00:01:29,100 --> 00:01:30,400
I'm seeing him
For lunch later.
42
00:01:30,433 --> 00:01:32,533
Larry, larry.
Larry.
43
00:01:32,567 --> 00:01:35,933
Oh, my god
That's amazing.
44
00:01:35,967 --> 00:01:36,967
What are you
Doing here ?
45
00:01:37,067 --> 00:01:38,833
Oh, I'm the
Rehearsal pianist.
46
00:01:38,867 --> 00:01:39,867
Get out.
47
00:01:39,900 --> 00:01:41,067
You're kidding.
Yeah.
48
00:01:41,100 --> 00:01:42,967
We're gonna be working
Together for a while.
49
00:01:43,067 --> 00:01:45,233
This is my
Girlfriend, rhonda.
50
00:01:45,267 --> 00:01:46,167
Hello.
51
00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:47,867
Hi, larry,
Nice to meet you.
52
00:01:47,900 --> 00:01:49,067
Can you believe it ?
53
00:01:49,067 --> 00:01:51,333
I hooked up
With a model.
54
00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:57,233
Boy, you lucked out.
55
00:01:57,267 --> 00:01:58,867
Hey, morning.
56
00:01:58,900 --> 00:02:01,067
How's it going ?
57
00:02:01,067 --> 00:02:04,233
Hey, ben, this is our,
Uh, new pianist.
58
00:02:04,267 --> 00:02:05,667
Hi.
Michael.
59
00:02:05,700 --> 00:02:06,600
How do you do ?
60
00:02:06,633 --> 00:02:07,233
Ben stiller.
61
00:02:07,267 --> 00:02:08,133
Nice to meet you.
62
00:02:08,167 --> 00:02:09,433
Nice to meet you,
Michael.
63
00:02:09,467 --> 00:02:11,067
This is my
Girlfriend, rhonda.
64
00:02:11,067 --> 00:02:12,300
Hi.
Hey, ben.
65
00:02:12,333 --> 00:02:13,367
Rhonda,
Nice to meet you.
66
00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:15,900
Hands off,
She's taken.
67
00:02:15,933 --> 00:02:20,133
Hey, listen,
I'm having a birthday party
On saturday night.
68
00:02:20,167 --> 00:02:22,367
You guys are all invited
To come, please, alright ?
69
00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:23,533
Fantastic.
70
00:02:23,567 --> 00:02:24,967
Yeah, my birthday was,
Like, two weeks ago,
71
00:02:25,067 --> 00:02:26,067
But we're having
The party this saturday.
72
00:02:26,067 --> 00:02:28,100
Well, thank you,
I'd love to come.
73
00:02:28,133 --> 00:02:29,700
Yeah, come along
And no gifts, okay ?
74
00:02:29,733 --> 00:02:30,733
No gifts.
75
00:02:30,767 --> 00:02:31,533
How come you're having
A party on saturday
76
00:02:31,567 --> 00:02:32,533
If it was
Two weeks ago ?
77
00:02:32,567 --> 00:02:34,067
'cause christine
Was out of town.
78
00:02:34,067 --> 00:02:36,600
We couldn't get it together
And it worked out this saturday.
79
00:02:36,633 --> 00:02:38,100
Uh, so why even
Have it all ?
80
00:02:38,133 --> 00:02:39,700
Why not just forget it,
Wait 'til next year.
81
00:02:39,733 --> 00:02:41,067
You blew it,
You know ?
82
00:02:41,067 --> 00:02:42,600
Yeah, I know, I wish we
Could've done it last week,
83
00:02:42,633 --> 00:02:43,800
But just, we couldn't
Get it together.
84
00:02:43,833 --> 00:02:46,067
Should bring cheryl,
You know, it'll be fun.
85
00:02:46,067 --> 00:02:48,600
Kind of reminds me a little
Of, like, president's day.
86
00:02:48,633 --> 00:02:50,533
It's not really
The president's birthday.
87
00:02:50,567 --> 00:02:52,700
It's some other day,
You know, what am I doing ?
88
00:02:52,733 --> 00:02:53,567
You know...
89
00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:54,633
Right.
90
00:02:54,667 --> 00:02:56,500
We're back, everyone.
91
00:02:56,533 --> 00:02:58,767
Let's start at
The top of the scene.
92
00:03:01,233 --> 00:03:02,200
It's a total scam.
93
00:03:02,233 --> 00:03:04,067
He introduced her
As a model.
94
00:03:04,067 --> 00:03:06,900
She's like, completely
Bullshitting this guy.
95
00:03:06,933 --> 00:03:07,967
'cause he's blind.
96
00:03:08,067 --> 00:03:09,067
By the way...
97
00:03:09,067 --> 00:03:10,933
Thank you for
Coming to meet kim.
98
00:03:10,967 --> 00:03:13,167
I might've mentioned kenny, he's
Old my friend in new york--
99
00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:14,233
Yeah, yeah,
I know.
100
00:03:14,267 --> 00:03:15,500
She just moved out
Here from the city.
101
00:03:15,533 --> 00:03:16,933
And, uh, it's his
First daughter,
102
00:03:16,967 --> 00:03:19,333
And she calls me,
Like, uncle richard.
103
00:03:19,367 --> 00:03:20,233
I known her
Since she was born.
104
00:03:20,267 --> 00:03:21,200
Really ?
105
00:03:21,233 --> 00:03:22,467
Oh, that's fun,
Uncle richard.
106
00:03:22,500 --> 00:03:24,233
Yeah, but the problem is,
She's an actress.
107
00:03:24,267 --> 00:03:25,267
She's a singer,
She's talented,
108
00:03:25,300 --> 00:03:27,133
But she wants to get
Her breasts enlarged,
109
00:03:27,167 --> 00:03:29,333
And it's gonna drive
Kenny crazy, and...
110
00:03:29,367 --> 00:03:30,167
He doesn't know
About it ?
111
00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:31,100
No.
112
00:03:31,133 --> 00:03:32,400
He's my old friend
And, uh...
113
00:03:32,433 --> 00:03:35,067
I need you to help
To talk her out of it.
114
00:03:35,067 --> 00:03:36,700
Just, like, a breast
Intervention.
115
00:03:36,733 --> 00:03:38,367
How am I supposed
To bring this up ?
116
00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:39,433
Uh, that's okay.
117
00:03:39,467 --> 00:03:40,700
I'll come up with something,
That's alright.
118
00:03:40,733 --> 00:03:42,800
You always think of
Something, I don't know.
119
00:03:42,833 --> 00:03:44,967
Is everything else
Good in your life ?
120
00:03:45,067 --> 00:03:46,167
Be honest with me.
121
00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:47,333
Hmm ?
122
00:03:47,367 --> 00:03:49,067
For the first time in over
A quarter of a century,
123
00:03:49,067 --> 00:03:52,067
Tell me something
That's really bugging you.
124
00:03:52,067 --> 00:03:53,700
I have nothing
To confide.
125
00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:55,800
You have experienced a hell of
A lot that you have not shared.
126
00:03:55,833 --> 00:03:57,200
Well, you've mentioned this
To me a couple of times.
127
00:03:57,233 --> 00:03:58,467
That I don't
Confide in you,
128
00:03:58,500 --> 00:03:59,600
And I'm telling you
There's nothing to confide.
129
00:03:59,633 --> 00:04:03,067
You haven't confided in me
In your entire life.
130
00:04:03,067 --> 00:04:04,300
How could you say
Something like that ?
131
00:04:04,333 --> 00:04:05,600
Hi !
Hey.
132
00:04:05,633 --> 00:04:06,833
Uncle richard.
133
00:04:06,867 --> 00:04:08,467
Look at you,
From top to bottom.
134
00:04:08,500 --> 00:04:09,233
What a doll, huh ?
135
00:04:09,267 --> 00:04:10,633
Oh, baby.
136
00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:12,633
This is my
Fake niece, kim.
137
00:04:12,667 --> 00:04:13,733
Larry david.
138
00:04:13,767 --> 00:04:14,733
Larry, kim.
139
00:04:14,767 --> 00:04:16,167
Hey, it is so nice
To meet you.
140
00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:17,933
Am I supposed to get up, I did
Sort of a half get-up there.
141
00:04:17,967 --> 00:04:20,067
For my niece,
Fake niece...
142
00:04:20,100 --> 00:04:22,167
I think a full get-up
Would've, you know.
143
00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:23,533
Yeah, it's the thought
That counts.
144
00:04:23,567 --> 00:04:26,100
Listen, you know, I hope,
It's kind of weird but,
145
00:04:26,133 --> 00:04:28,533
I'd really love for you
To take a look at my reel,
146
00:04:28,567 --> 00:04:29,733
If you wouldn't mind.
147
00:04:29,767 --> 00:04:31,567
You know, I mean,
I could take a look at it.
148
00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:34,467
I'm not really, I'm not
Doing tv right now.
149
00:04:34,500 --> 00:04:35,500
That's fine,
It's fine.
150
00:04:35,533 --> 00:04:36,667
How you doing ?
151
00:04:36,700 --> 00:04:38,067
I'm doing really,
Really well, thank you.
152
00:04:38,067 --> 00:04:38,833
How are you ?
153
00:04:38,867 --> 00:04:39,800
You look fabulous,
By the way.
154
00:04:39,833 --> 00:04:40,967
Oh, why thank you.
155
00:04:41,067 --> 00:04:43,067
So that anna nicole smith,
She's got, uh...
156
00:04:43,067 --> 00:04:45,567
Some pair knockers
On her, huh ?
157
00:04:47,433 --> 00:04:49,267
They're not real though,
Are they ?
158
00:04:49,300 --> 00:04:51,567
Huh ?
159
00:04:56,300 --> 00:04:57,800
Whoa.
160
00:04:57,833 --> 00:04:59,067
Hey.
161
00:04:59,067 --> 00:05:00,767
Oh, what's all,
What's all that ?
162
00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:02,467
Look at all
His gifts.
163
00:05:02,500 --> 00:05:04,200
I thought you said we weren't
Supposed to bring a present.
164
00:05:04,233 --> 00:05:06,567
He said no gifts.
165
00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:08,067
I, I don't get it.
166
00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:09,667
Hey.
Hello.
167
00:05:09,700 --> 00:05:10,800
Let me ask
You something.
168
00:05:10,833 --> 00:05:11,900
Did you guys bring
A gift to this thing ?
169
00:05:11,933 --> 00:05:13,367
Of course.
Yeah.
170
00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:15,067
He said no gifts.
171
00:05:15,067 --> 00:05:17,500
Nobody means that,
You took that seriously ?
172
00:05:17,533 --> 00:05:19,067
Of course I did,
Look at all these.
173
00:05:19,100 --> 00:05:20,500
Oh, what do you
Got there, chicken ?
174
00:05:20,533 --> 00:05:22,067
Oh, yeah,
Thank you.
175
00:05:22,067 --> 00:05:23,600
Uh, no, I'm fine,
Thank you.
176
00:05:23,633 --> 00:05:25,500
You brought
Something, right ?
177
00:05:25,533 --> 00:05:27,467
No, I didn't
Bring anything.
178
00:05:27,500 --> 00:05:28,867
He said no gifts,
So I didn't bring anything.
179
00:05:28,900 --> 00:05:30,200
Yeah, you're
The only one ?
180
00:05:30,233 --> 00:05:31,767
You guys are making me
Look bad, you know that ?
181
00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:32,833
Happy birthday !
182
00:05:32,867 --> 00:05:34,133
Hey.
183
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:36,333
Hey, happy birthday.
184
00:05:36,367 --> 00:05:38,133
Thanks for
Making it.
185
00:05:38,167 --> 00:05:39,967
So it's the two
Of you, huh ?
186
00:05:40,067 --> 00:05:40,867
Oh, yeah.
187
00:05:40,900 --> 00:05:42,967
Exciting,
That's great.
188
00:05:43,067 --> 00:05:44,767
Up on the boards
Together.
189
00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:45,767
Yeah.
190
00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:46,733
Figuring it out.
191
00:05:46,767 --> 00:05:47,600
It's going great ?
192
00:05:47,633 --> 00:05:48,933
It's going,
It's going.
193
00:05:48,967 --> 00:05:50,100
I think it's going
Pretty good.
194
00:05:50,133 --> 00:05:51,167
Yeah,
It's going okay.
195
00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:52,600
What should I do
With this thing ?
196
00:05:52,633 --> 00:05:54,333
I think a woman
Will come around.
197
00:05:54,367 --> 00:05:56,267
Just, you can
Put it on a table.
198
00:05:56,300 --> 00:05:57,533
Every time
I get one of these,
199
00:05:57,567 --> 00:05:59,500
I wind up holding it
The whole night, you know ?
200
00:05:59,533 --> 00:06:01,767
It's a lot of dancing
You guys have to do.
201
00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:03,067
Oh, man,
Oh, it is.
202
00:06:03,067 --> 00:06:05,367
I mean, I can see
When larry comes home...
203
00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:07,300
Is he exhausted
When he comes home ?
204
00:06:07,333 --> 00:06:08,967
I'm not tired.
205
00:06:09,067 --> 00:06:10,133
You gotta
Work on it.
206
00:06:10,167 --> 00:06:11,133
You gotta work on it
When you're not there,
207
00:06:11,167 --> 00:06:12,333
You know what I mean.
208
00:06:12,367 --> 00:06:13,900
You gotta do off-hours work,
And kind of just
209
00:06:13,933 --> 00:06:16,067
So you're prepared when
You come into rehearsals.
210
00:06:16,067 --> 00:06:17,833
It's not that I'm not
Working as hard,
211
00:06:17,867 --> 00:06:19,400
But it looks more
Effortless maybe.
212
00:06:19,433 --> 00:06:20,533
It does look
Like less effort.
213
00:06:20,567 --> 00:06:21,567
Mm-hmm.
214
00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:26,633
I mean, it looks,
Less effort, effortless.
215
00:06:26,667 --> 00:06:28,200
Like an idiot,
Holding the skewer.
216
00:06:28,233 --> 00:06:29,633
What the hell do
I do with this thing ?
217
00:06:29,667 --> 00:06:30,567
We're gonna mingle.
218
00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:31,167
No, you should mingle.
219
00:06:31,200 --> 00:06:32,267
It's your birthday.
220
00:06:32,300 --> 00:06:35,100
It's your party, you can
Mingle if you want to.
221
00:06:35,133 --> 00:06:36,533
Find me
A skewer guy.
222
00:06:36,567 --> 00:06:38,300
This is, will you
Send him over ?
223
00:06:38,333 --> 00:06:39,600
Throw it down,
It's fine.
224
00:06:39,633 --> 00:06:41,067
Yeah, relax,
Larry, relax.
225
00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:42,733
Bye, guys.
226
00:06:42,767 --> 00:06:43,667
Alright.
227
00:06:43,700 --> 00:06:45,933
Did you tell lar
About my new thing ?
228
00:06:45,967 --> 00:06:47,433
No, I actually didn't.
229
00:06:47,467 --> 00:06:49,067
Why don't you tell larry
About your new thing ?
230
00:06:49,067 --> 00:06:50,400
What are you doing ?
231
00:06:50,433 --> 00:06:52,600
I'm designing
These shirts now,
232
00:06:52,633 --> 00:06:55,133
That are selling
Like fucking hotcakes.
233
00:06:55,167 --> 00:06:56,300
Are you kidding ?
234
00:06:56,333 --> 00:06:58,467
Interesting, whimsical,
I'm telling you...
235
00:06:58,500 --> 00:06:59,633
Well, good for her.
236
00:06:59,667 --> 00:07:01,467
I got them out in the trunk,
You want to see them ?
237
00:07:01,500 --> 00:07:03,133
Not, not right now,
But I'll see them.
238
00:07:03,167 --> 00:07:04,233
You will,
You will.
239
00:07:04,267 --> 00:07:05,633
You know what ?
I wanna say hello to michael.
240
00:07:05,667 --> 00:07:07,500
The piano player,
From the show ?
241
00:07:07,533 --> 00:07:09,733
Did he say he can't
See my clothes ?
242
00:07:09,767 --> 00:07:13,367
( in disguised voice )
Hello.
243
00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:15,133
Larry ?
244
00:07:15,167 --> 00:07:16,667
Get out of here,
How did you know that ?
245
00:07:16,700 --> 00:07:18,667
Aw, come on, I was
Doing a character.
246
00:07:18,700 --> 00:07:19,533
( chuckling )
247
00:07:19,567 --> 00:07:22,533
Yeah, well,
I saw through it.
248
00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:24,967
Listen, what are you
Doing next week ?
249
00:07:25,067 --> 00:07:27,300
Tuesday night, I'm doing
A set at the mint.
250
00:07:27,333 --> 00:07:28,300
Can you come ?
251
00:07:28,333 --> 00:07:30,067
You'll enjoy it,
Show tunes.
252
00:07:30,100 --> 00:07:32,167
Tuesday I think
I have a clan meeting.
253
00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:33,733
I don't know if I'm gonna
Be able to make it.
254
00:07:33,767 --> 00:07:34,933
Thanks.
255
00:07:34,967 --> 00:07:37,100
Hey, where's rhonda ?
256
00:07:37,133 --> 00:07:38,633
She's parking the car.
257
00:07:38,667 --> 00:07:40,867
Hey, listen, let me
Ask you something.
258
00:07:40,900 --> 00:07:42,633
Sure.
259
00:07:42,667 --> 00:07:44,933
Don't you think
She's beautiful ?
260
00:07:44,967 --> 00:07:47,500
Eh...
261
00:07:47,533 --> 00:07:49,267
Eh ?
262
00:07:49,300 --> 00:07:51,067
Eh.
263
00:07:51,067 --> 00:07:52,967
You don't think
She's beautiful, larry ?
264
00:07:53,067 --> 00:07:54,867
I don't say beautiful.
265
00:07:54,900 --> 00:07:56,267
She's nice.
266
00:07:56,300 --> 00:07:59,067
Huh.
267
00:07:59,067 --> 00:08:00,600
She told you
She was a model ?
268
00:08:00,633 --> 00:08:02,900
I don't wanna
Talk about it.
269
00:08:02,933 --> 00:08:04,533
What's the difference
What she looks like ?
270
00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:05,800
You can't
See her anyway.
271
00:08:05,833 --> 00:08:06,900
What ?
272
00:08:06,933 --> 00:08:09,167
That's one of
The advantages, right ?
273
00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:10,733
That and
The good hearing.
274
00:08:10,767 --> 00:08:12,633
Good hearing ?
275
00:08:12,667 --> 00:08:14,233
What is that,
A myth ?
276
00:08:14,267 --> 00:08:16,067
I though blind people
Had better hearing.
277
00:08:16,067 --> 00:08:18,333
I don't know, larry,
I've never had it tested.
278
00:08:18,367 --> 00:08:19,633
Like a dog, I thought
You hear like a dog.
279
00:08:19,667 --> 00:08:21,067
Hey, larry.
280
00:08:21,067 --> 00:08:23,233
What's going on ?
281
00:08:24,933 --> 00:08:27,633
So the thing that's
So great about these shirts
282
00:08:27,667 --> 00:08:29,867
Is that I've got
The business from the house.
283
00:08:29,900 --> 00:08:31,433
And I can take care
Of the baby.
284
00:08:31,467 --> 00:08:32,167
Fantastic.
285
00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:33,333
You know, I know.
286
00:08:33,367 --> 00:08:35,400
Wait 'til you see them,
You are gonna die.
287
00:08:35,433 --> 00:08:37,633
Okay.
288
00:08:40,233 --> 00:08:42,100
Now, is this cute ?
289
00:08:42,133 --> 00:08:45,867
I mean how much fun
Is this, huh ?
290
00:08:45,900 --> 00:08:47,433
Great, right ?
291
00:08:47,467 --> 00:08:49,133
You know, nice.
292
00:08:49,167 --> 00:08:50,133
Yeah.
293
00:08:50,167 --> 00:08:54,167
Not quite my cup of tea,
But, you know...
294
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:55,100
It's nice.
295
00:08:55,133 --> 00:08:56,600
Alright,
You know what ?
296
00:08:56,633 --> 00:08:58,533
Fuck you, and
Fuck your tea.
297
00:08:58,567 --> 00:08:59,867
What ?
298
00:08:59,900 --> 00:09:02,800
Whoever said you had taste,
Mr. Hushpuppy rumpled suit look.
299
00:09:02,833 --> 00:09:03,933
What, it's nice.
300
00:09:03,967 --> 00:09:06,300
You know, we all can't
Like the same things.
301
00:09:06,333 --> 00:09:08,067
Well, I'll tell you, when
I showed them to ben stiller,
302
00:09:08,067 --> 00:09:09,200
He happened
To love them.
303
00:09:09,233 --> 00:09:10,567
Right, honey ?
304
00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:12,733
He went nuts for them,
I have to be honest with you.
305
00:09:12,767 --> 00:09:13,633
Ben liked that ?
306
00:09:13,667 --> 00:09:14,767
Yeah, he has taste.
307
00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:15,767
Alright, I'm sorry.
308
00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:17,933
I think it's,
You know, it's nice...
309
00:09:17,967 --> 00:09:19,600
Stop right now.
310
00:09:19,633 --> 00:09:22,500
Alright, I'm gonna get
Something out of the car.
311
00:09:22,533 --> 00:09:23,700
I'll be right up.
312
00:09:23,733 --> 00:09:25,933
You know,
They're, they're--
313
00:09:25,967 --> 00:09:27,100
Ahh !
314
00:09:45,633 --> 00:09:47,667
That's the next
Six months of our lives.
315
00:09:47,700 --> 00:09:49,800
( laughing )
316
00:09:49,833 --> 00:09:51,500
Oh, man.
317
00:09:51,533 --> 00:09:52,867
Yeah, I know.
318
00:09:52,900 --> 00:09:54,833
This is the woman
From the show, right ?
319
00:09:54,867 --> 00:09:56,467
She's coming
To broadway with us ?
320
00:09:56,500 --> 00:09:57,500
Yeah, she plays
Oula here,
321
00:09:57,533 --> 00:09:59,533
And she's going with
The new york company.
322
00:09:59,567 --> 00:10:00,633
What's her
Real name ?
323
00:10:00,667 --> 00:10:01,767
Katie huffman.
324
00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:03,400
You wanna meet her ?
325
00:10:03,433 --> 00:10:05,633
I don't have to,
I don't...
326
00:10:05,667 --> 00:10:06,533
Come on.
327
00:10:06,567 --> 00:10:07,667
Yeah.
You know her ?
328
00:10:07,700 --> 00:10:10,133
Yeah, she's nice.
329
00:10:10,167 --> 00:10:11,600
Hey, katie.
330
00:10:11,633 --> 00:10:12,367
Hi, ben.
331
00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:13,900
How are you ?
332
00:10:13,933 --> 00:10:14,467
I'm good,
I'm good.
333
00:10:14,500 --> 00:10:15,300
Happy birthday.
334
00:10:15,333 --> 00:10:16,933
Thank you,
This is larry david.
335
00:10:16,967 --> 00:10:19,333
Hey, larry david.
336
00:10:19,367 --> 00:10:20,633
Congratulations.
337
00:10:20,667 --> 00:10:21,467
Oh, yeah, thank you,
Thank you.
338
00:10:21,500 --> 00:10:22,600
That's gonna be fun.
339
00:10:22,633 --> 00:10:24,467
Yeah.The three of u.
340
00:10:24,500 --> 00:10:26,300
I'm gonna go pee.
341
00:10:26,333 --> 00:10:27,933
Oh, okay.
342
00:10:27,967 --> 00:10:29,133
You know
Where it is.
343
00:10:29,167 --> 00:10:30,967
I do.
344
00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:32,033
He's great,
Isn't he ?
345
00:10:32,067 --> 00:10:33,333
Yeah, yeah.
346
00:10:33,367 --> 00:10:34,833
It's not really...
347
00:10:34,867 --> 00:10:38,667
It's not really
His birthday though,
I have to say.
348
00:10:38,700 --> 00:10:40,167
It was a
Couple weeks ago.
349
00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:42,067
You shouldn't be having
A birthday party
350
00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:43,767
Two weeks after
Your birthday.
351
00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:46,667
I mean, what's the statute
Of limitations there ?
352
00:10:46,700 --> 00:10:47,900
Well, why don't
I have my birthday ?
353
00:10:47,933 --> 00:10:48,833
My birthday
Was two months ago.
354
00:10:48,867 --> 00:10:49,867
I think I'll have
A birthday party.
355
00:10:49,900 --> 00:10:51,933
Okay.
356
00:10:51,967 --> 00:10:53,833
Okay, three days,
No more than that though.
357
00:10:53,867 --> 00:10:55,467
No, it's not your
Birthday anymore.
358
00:10:55,500 --> 00:10:58,133
There's gotta be a time,
There's gotta be a cut-off point
359
00:10:58,167 --> 00:11:00,300
Where you can't
Have birthday parties.
360
00:11:00,333 --> 00:11:02,267
Are you so desperate
For a party ?
361
00:11:02,300 --> 00:11:04,600
That you have to have
A party two weeks after ?
362
00:11:04,633 --> 00:11:06,600
Wait 'til next year,
You missed it.
363
00:11:06,633 --> 00:11:09,367
So, boo hoo,
You missed the party.
364
00:11:11,067 --> 00:11:12,067
What is this ?
365
00:11:12,100 --> 00:11:14,500
I've got, I'm walking
Around with this skewer.
366
00:11:14,533 --> 00:11:15,867
All night now.
367
00:11:15,900 --> 00:11:17,233
Can't get rid
Of these things.
368
00:11:17,267 --> 00:11:18,767
You know ?
369
00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:20,300
I don't like a kabob.
370
00:11:20,333 --> 00:11:22,067
I don't know what your
Feelings are about a kabob,
371
00:11:22,100 --> 00:11:24,367
But I'm not
A kabob guy.
372
00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:26,067
Mmm.
373
00:11:26,067 --> 00:11:28,933
And then, you got this stick,
What do you do ?
374
00:11:28,967 --> 00:11:30,200
You put it
In your pocket ?
375
00:11:30,233 --> 00:11:32,533
Stick yourself
In the scrotum.
376
00:11:32,567 --> 00:11:35,067
Then what
Have you got ?
377
00:11:35,067 --> 00:11:37,567
Scrotum kabob.
378
00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:39,067
You know ?
379
00:11:39,100 --> 00:11:40,067
Good to meet you,
Larry.
380
00:11:40,067 --> 00:11:40,667
Good to meet you.
381
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:43,067
Yeah.
382
00:11:55,433 --> 00:11:57,167
My dog has fleas ?
383
00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:58,333
No !
384
00:11:58,367 --> 00:12:01,733
The guard has trees
Is what I said, sammy.
385
00:12:01,767 --> 00:12:02,933
What are you,
Playing telephone ?
386
00:12:02,967 --> 00:12:03,967
Yeah, yeah,
Telephone.
387
00:12:04,067 --> 00:12:06,267
Huh, maybe, uh,
Maybe I'll join in.
388
00:12:06,300 --> 00:12:07,667
Well, I don't see
Any space, larry.
389
00:12:07,700 --> 00:12:09,267
You can
Take my spot.
390
00:12:09,300 --> 00:12:11,867
Oh, I wouldn't
Take your seat.
391
00:12:11,900 --> 00:12:13,300
No, go ahead
And play.
392
00:12:13,333 --> 00:12:14,367
Oh, my god.
393
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:15,800
What a, what a lovely,
Lovely child.
394
00:12:15,833 --> 00:12:17,833
Very nice of you,
Alexandra.
395
00:12:17,867 --> 00:12:19,067
Okay.
396
00:12:19,067 --> 00:12:20,633
Let's play
A little telephone.
397
00:12:20,667 --> 00:12:21,800
You got one,
Honey ?
398
00:12:21,833 --> 00:12:22,733
Okay.
399
00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:40,167
I love tits ?
400
00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:45,800
( laughing )
401
00:12:45,833 --> 00:12:48,433
This is funny
To you ?
402
00:12:48,467 --> 00:12:51,300
It's funny to say that
In a room full of children ?
403
00:12:51,333 --> 00:12:52,733
What's the matter
With you ?
404
00:12:52,767 --> 00:12:53,933
That's what
He said to me !
405
00:12:53,967 --> 00:12:55,533
Dalton, what did
You say to him ?
406
00:12:55,567 --> 00:12:56,200
I love pigs.
407
00:12:56,233 --> 00:12:57,067
I love pigs.
408
00:12:57,100 --> 00:12:57,967
No, you didn't
Say that.
409
00:12:58,067 --> 00:12:59,100
Sammy, what did
You say ?
410
00:12:59,133 --> 00:13:00,833
I love pigs.
I love pigs, larry.
411
00:13:00,867 --> 00:13:01,867
No, but...
412
00:13:01,900 --> 00:13:04,067
Your sick, perverse mind
Twisted it around.
413
00:13:04,067 --> 00:13:05,900
It's not funny,
These are kids in here !
414
00:13:05,933 --> 00:13:10,067
He, well, what did,
No, you said, I...
415
00:13:10,067 --> 00:13:11,333
No, he didn't.
416
00:13:11,367 --> 00:13:14,567
Okay, he did
Not say it.
417
00:13:14,600 --> 00:13:16,333
We're gonna go sing
Happy birthday.
418
00:13:16,367 --> 00:13:17,567
Come on.
419
00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:18,933
Why don't you tell them
What you said.
420
00:13:18,967 --> 00:13:20,067
You know you
Didn't say that.
421
00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:21,200
What did you
Say to me ?!
422
00:13:21,233 --> 00:13:21,933
I love pigs.
423
00:13:21,967 --> 00:13:23,400
No, you didn't
Say that.
424
00:13:23,433 --> 00:13:25,633
So wrong,
So wrong.
425
00:13:25,667 --> 00:13:29,767
* happy birthday
To you *
426
00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:33,833
* happy birthday to you
427
00:13:33,867 --> 00:13:38,700
* happy birthday,
Dear ben *
428
00:13:38,733 --> 00:13:44,333
* happy birthday to you
429
00:13:46,433 --> 00:13:48,100
Why didn't you sing ?
430
00:13:48,133 --> 00:13:49,067
Huh ?
431
00:13:49,067 --> 00:13:49,833
Why weren't
You singing ?
432
00:13:49,867 --> 00:13:50,900
I hate the happy
Birthday song.
433
00:13:50,933 --> 00:13:53,267
I don't sing that.
434
00:13:56,833 --> 00:13:58,333
Hey, jeff.
435
00:13:58,367 --> 00:13:59,467
Come here, I wanna
Show you something.
436
00:13:59,500 --> 00:14:02,800
I got this huge golf tip
The other day.
437
00:14:02,833 --> 00:14:03,800
Really ?
438
00:14:03,833 --> 00:14:05,233
Yeah, it's, like,
For the backswing.
439
00:14:05,267 --> 00:14:06,500
Okay, show me.
440
00:14:06,533 --> 00:14:08,067
It's really working.
441
00:14:08,067 --> 00:14:09,867
Um, alright, here's,
This is my golf club.
442
00:14:09,900 --> 00:14:10,933
It's a beautiful
Golf club.
443
00:14:10,967 --> 00:14:12,400
Watch this, okay.
444
00:14:12,433 --> 00:14:14,067
Let's say that's
The ball, okay ?
445
00:14:14,067 --> 00:14:17,133
You wanna take the club and
Give it back to the catcher.
446
00:14:17,167 --> 00:14:18,067
Right.
447
00:14:18,067 --> 00:14:18,600
Give it
To the catcher.
448
00:14:18,633 --> 00:14:20,200
Here watch this.
449
00:14:20,233 --> 00:14:21,200
Ow !
450
00:14:21,233 --> 00:14:23,733
Shit !
451
00:14:23,767 --> 00:14:25,400
Oh, jesus !
452
00:14:25,433 --> 00:14:26,833
Fuck !
453
00:14:26,867 --> 00:14:28,133
Ow !
454
00:14:28,167 --> 00:14:29,867
I can't see.
455
00:14:29,900 --> 00:14:31,067
What did you do ?
456
00:14:31,067 --> 00:14:33,533
God, honey.
457
00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:38,100
Skewer.
458
00:14:46,067 --> 00:14:48,367
You guys see how much easier
It is with the right shoes ?
459
00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:49,900
Yeah, yeah.
460
00:14:49,933 --> 00:14:51,467
Okay, and here's
The other thing.
461
00:14:51,500 --> 00:14:53,400
That's the rehearsal
Tempo, alright ?
462
00:14:53,433 --> 00:14:54,900
That's the way I taught it
To you to break it down.
463
00:14:54,933 --> 00:14:56,433
But it's more
Like this, alright ?
464
00:14:56,467 --> 00:14:58,800
( faster tempo )
465
00:14:58,833 --> 00:14:59,767
Got it ?
466
00:15:02,133 --> 00:15:03,700
And...
467
00:15:05,733 --> 00:15:07,067
You're behind.
468
00:15:07,067 --> 00:15:08,200
Keep it small.
469
00:15:08,233 --> 00:15:09,433
Keep it small.
470
00:15:09,467 --> 00:15:10,333
Keep your weight over
The center of your.
471
00:15:10,367 --> 00:15:11,367
Come on,
That's too fast.
472
00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:12,800
I can't do it
At that tempo.
473
00:15:12,833 --> 00:15:14,300
That's the tempo
It is in the show.
474
00:15:14,333 --> 00:15:17,600
Um, can we
Take a five ?
475
00:15:17,633 --> 00:15:18,900
Five minutes,
Everyone.
476
00:15:18,933 --> 00:15:19,733
Five minutes.
477
00:15:19,767 --> 00:15:22,067
Use your time wisely.
478
00:15:22,100 --> 00:15:26,333
Bullshit,
That's not the tempo.
479
00:15:26,367 --> 00:15:27,200
Get out of here.
480
00:15:27,233 --> 00:15:28,233
I think it is.
481
00:15:28,267 --> 00:15:29,067
What ?
482
00:15:29,067 --> 00:15:30,300
Pretty much.
483
00:15:30,333 --> 00:15:33,767
Well, I don't know how any human
Could dance to that tempo.
484
00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:35,433
You'd have to be flash
To dance like that.
485
00:15:35,467 --> 00:15:36,533
Who ?
486
00:15:36,567 --> 00:15:37,500
Oh, forget it.
487
00:15:37,533 --> 00:15:38,467
It's a comic book
Character.
488
00:15:38,500 --> 00:15:39,467
Wore the red costume.
489
00:15:39,500 --> 00:15:40,867
The guy
In the red costume.
490
00:15:40,900 --> 00:15:42,433
I don't even know
What red is.
491
00:15:42,467 --> 00:15:43,533
Hm.
492
00:15:43,567 --> 00:15:44,700
It's hard to talk
To a blind guy.
493
00:15:44,733 --> 00:15:46,567
You have
No references.
494
00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:48,167
I don't know comics,
Larry.
495
00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:50,133
What's with you ?
496
00:15:50,167 --> 00:15:52,800
Oh, rhonda and I kept
Fighting all night.
497
00:15:52,833 --> 00:15:55,867
She keeps insisting that she's
Not misrepresenting herself.
498
00:15:55,900 --> 00:15:57,133
Oh, really.
499
00:15:57,167 --> 00:15:59,100
You know, I'd like to tell
My wife I look like brad pitt.
500
00:15:59,133 --> 00:16:01,133
But unfortunately
She can see.
501
00:16:01,167 --> 00:16:02,067
You dig ?
502
00:16:02,067 --> 00:16:03,200
You know what
I'm saying ?
503
00:16:03,233 --> 00:16:04,133
Mm-hmm.
504
00:16:04,167 --> 00:16:06,200
Hey, ben,
You're here.
505
00:16:06,233 --> 00:16:07,667
Hey, steve,
How you doing ?
506
00:16:07,700 --> 00:16:08,233
Hey.
507
00:16:08,267 --> 00:16:09,067
Hey.
508
00:16:09,100 --> 00:16:13,200
Oh, my gosh.
509
00:16:13,233 --> 00:16:15,133
I'm so sorry, man.
510
00:16:15,167 --> 00:16:16,733
So sorry.
511
00:16:16,767 --> 00:16:18,400
It was that skewer,
That fucking skewer.
512
00:16:18,433 --> 00:16:20,133
Because I couldn't get,
Remember I mentioned it ?
513
00:16:20,167 --> 00:16:21,133
I couldn't
Get rid of it.
514
00:16:21,167 --> 00:16:22,433
Yeah, I gotta
Scratched retina.
515
00:16:22,467 --> 00:16:23,300
Oh, my god.
516
00:16:23,333 --> 00:16:24,533
Yeah.
517
00:16:24,567 --> 00:16:26,967
I guess that's why you were
So preoccupied with that,
518
00:16:27,067 --> 00:16:29,900
Why you couldn't,
Uh, sing happy birthday.
519
00:16:29,933 --> 00:16:31,600
Ben, I never sing
Happy birthday.
520
00:16:31,633 --> 00:16:32,800
It just makes me feel
A little uncomfortable.
521
00:16:32,833 --> 00:16:34,167
I'm a little
Self-conscious singing it.
522
00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:35,933
* happy birthday
To you *
523
00:16:35,967 --> 00:16:38,133
Stupid, stupid song.
524
00:16:38,167 --> 00:16:39,133
It's a stupid song.
525
00:16:39,167 --> 00:16:41,567
Right, and also,
Thanks for no gift, too.
526
00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:46,100
I seem to recall somebody
Inviting me to a birthday party
527
00:16:46,133 --> 00:16:49,167
And saying,
"No gifts".
528
00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:50,100
Come on, larry.
529
00:16:50,133 --> 00:16:51,333
Everybody knows
That's bullshit.
530
00:16:51,367 --> 00:16:52,367
Yeah.
Bullshit ?
531
00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:53,533
How's that bullshit ?
532
00:16:53,567 --> 00:16:55,067
It's bullshit, you say,
No gift, so bring a gift.
533
00:16:55,067 --> 00:16:56,733
Well, why'd you
Even say it ?
534
00:16:56,767 --> 00:16:58,833
Just, I'm just saying
This as a friend.
535
00:16:58,867 --> 00:17:01,300
You really have
A little ways to go
536
00:17:01,333 --> 00:17:02,667
When it comes to dealing
With people, really.
537
00:17:02,700 --> 00:17:04,233
How so ?
538
00:17:04,267 --> 00:17:06,367
You don't even shake my hand
The first time I see you,
539
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:08,100
You know, at the theater,
You know ?
540
00:17:08,133 --> 00:17:09,600
You had snot@
You'd just sneezed.
541
00:17:09,633 --> 00:17:11,200
That was a
Dry sneeze, larry.
542
00:17:11,233 --> 00:17:12,333
It wasn't a sneeze,
It was a--
543
00:17:12,367 --> 00:17:14,200
I can't assume dry,
I gotta assume wet.
544
00:17:14,233 --> 00:17:15,400
It's air coming out.
545
00:17:15,433 --> 00:17:16,933
I'm not gonna put out my hand
If it's full of snot.
546
00:17:16,967 --> 00:17:18,133
I didn't know
It was air.
547
00:17:18,167 --> 00:17:19,867
I thought I saw some
Little speckles flying.
548
00:17:19,900 --> 00:17:21,667
I would assume you would
Know me well enough to know
549
00:17:21,700 --> 00:17:23,333
That I'm not gonna
Give you a handful of snot
To shake your hand.
550
00:17:23,367 --> 00:17:24,700
And, by the way--
551
00:17:24,733 --> 00:17:26,067
Sometimes you don't know
Snot speckles are coming out.
552
00:17:26,100 --> 00:17:27,300
I saw snot
Speckles flying.
553
00:17:27,333 --> 00:17:28,400
Guys, we need
To start.
554
00:17:28,433 --> 00:17:29,267
Yeah, please.
555
00:17:29,300 --> 00:17:31,800
Top of the page,
Page 31.
556
00:17:38,933 --> 00:17:41,300
( piano music )
557
00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:48,100
( knocking )
558
00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:54,667
Hi, larry.
559
00:17:54,700 --> 00:17:55,333
Hey, kim.
560
00:17:55,367 --> 00:17:56,500
Good.
How are you ?
561
00:17:56,533 --> 00:17:58,233
So, listen, I'm sorry
I didn't call,
562
00:17:58,267 --> 00:17:59,267
But I was
In the neighborhood,
563
00:17:59,300 --> 00:18:01,067
And I just wanted
To bring by my headshot
564
00:18:01,067 --> 00:18:03,067
And my reel
And stuff like that.
565
00:18:03,067 --> 00:18:03,833
There you go.
566
00:18:03,867 --> 00:18:04,367
Come on in.
567
00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:05,533
Oh, thanks.
568
00:18:05,567 --> 00:18:08,567
Wow, you have a
Really beautiful house.
569
00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:09,967
Yeah, we just
Moved in.
570
00:18:10,067 --> 00:18:11,067
Did you ?
571
00:18:11,067 --> 00:18:13,500
Yeah, second time
We've moved in two years.
572
00:18:13,533 --> 00:18:14,967
That's a nightmare.
573
00:18:15,067 --> 00:18:18,200
Yeah, we had to move, we had a
Film crew on our block, and...
574
00:18:18,233 --> 00:18:19,700
Oh, what a drag.
575
00:18:19,733 --> 00:18:21,833
Listen, I've got a book
I want to give to richard.
576
00:18:21,867 --> 00:18:22,933
So wait here,
I'll go ...
577
00:18:22,967 --> 00:18:24,433
Sure, sure, whoa,
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
578
00:18:24,467 --> 00:18:25,533
Are you kidding me ?
579
00:18:25,567 --> 00:18:28,667
You don't notice anything
Different about me ?
580
00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:32,300
* da, da, da,
Da, da, da *
581
00:18:32,333 --> 00:18:33,567
Oh, boy, oh, boy.
582
00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:34,667
That's it ?
583
00:18:34,700 --> 00:18:35,633
That's it.
584
00:18:35,667 --> 00:18:36,133
It's all done,
Already ?
585
00:18:36,167 --> 00:18:37,300
It's all done.
586
00:18:37,333 --> 00:18:38,267
Boy, that was fast.
587
00:18:38,300 --> 00:18:41,367
An hour, in and out,
Done, boobs.
588
00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:42,567
Genius.
589
00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:43,767
Don't they
Look real ?
590
00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:45,133
Remember how you said they
Were not gonna look real ?
591
00:18:45,167 --> 00:18:46,067
Do they not
Look real ?
592
00:18:46,067 --> 00:18:47,100
You want
To see them ?
593
00:18:47,133 --> 00:18:48,967
Check them out,
Check them out, look.
594
00:18:49,067 --> 00:18:50,233
They're good,
Right ?
595
00:18:50,267 --> 00:18:51,700
Yeah, feel them,
They feel totally natural.
596
00:18:51,733 --> 00:18:52,633
I'm sure.
597
00:18:52,667 --> 00:18:54,167
Come on, larry,
Don't be so uptight.
598
00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:55,900
Come here, feel them,
Check them out.
599
00:18:55,933 --> 00:18:57,500
They feel good,
Right ?
600
00:18:57,533 --> 00:18:59,433
Squeeze them,
Give them a little...
601
00:19:10,633 --> 00:19:12,867
She just, you know,
She grabbed my hands,
602
00:19:12,900 --> 00:19:14,267
And she just put
Them over there.
603
00:19:14,300 --> 00:19:16,067
Oh, really,
Well, guess what ?
604
00:19:16,067 --> 00:19:17,267
Happy anniversary.
605
00:19:17,300 --> 00:19:19,133
Because that was your 10th
Anniversary gift right there.
606
00:19:19,167 --> 00:19:20,333
Okay, oh, no,
No, no, no.
607
00:19:20,367 --> 00:19:21,367
Yes, yes, yes.
608
00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:22,767
Come on, cheryl,
You can't do that.
609
00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:23,667
That wasn't sex.
610
00:19:23,700 --> 00:19:25,067
You just had sex !
611
00:19:25,067 --> 00:19:27,200
Touching a breast
Is sex.
612
00:19:27,233 --> 00:19:30,067
It wasn't
A real breast.
613
00:19:30,100 --> 00:19:31,433
Oh, really ?
614
00:19:31,467 --> 00:19:33,367
It was like putting my hand
On her head or something.
615
00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:34,500
It was nothing.
616
00:19:34,533 --> 00:19:36,500
Then why didn't you put
Your hand on her head ?
617
00:19:36,533 --> 00:19:38,333
'cause she didn't put
My hand on her head.
618
00:19:38,367 --> 00:19:39,500
She put it
Over here.
619
00:19:39,533 --> 00:19:41,633
I like that you can't
Control your own hands.
620
00:19:41,667 --> 00:19:43,333
She took my hands,
And went like that.
621
00:19:43,367 --> 00:19:45,200
I saw it,
I saw it, larry.
622
00:19:45,233 --> 00:19:46,367
That's it.
623
00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:48,267
No, don't.
624
00:19:48,300 --> 00:19:49,433
Why am I even
Talking to you ?
625
00:19:49,467 --> 00:19:50,433
Look, okay, let...
626
00:19:50,467 --> 00:19:52,600
Oh, titmouse.
627
00:19:52,633 --> 00:19:56,267
What ?
628
00:19:56,300 --> 00:19:59,567
I just saw
A titmouse.
629
00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:01,133
A titmouse ?
630
00:20:01,167 --> 00:20:01,867
A mouse.
631
00:20:01,900 --> 00:20:02,833
Titmouse,
Mouse.
632
00:20:02,867 --> 00:20:04,233
Why do you call it
A titmouse ?
633
00:20:04,267 --> 00:20:06,033
'cause that's what you call it,
A titmouse, same thing.
634
00:20:06,067 --> 00:20:07,333
Who calls it that ?
635
00:20:07,367 --> 00:20:09,067
A lot of people
Call it that.
636
00:20:09,100 --> 00:20:10,933
Oh, my god.
637
00:20:10,967 --> 00:20:11,700
What ?
638
00:20:11,733 --> 00:20:14,600
You are obsessed
With tits.
639
00:20:14,633 --> 00:20:16,633
You're feeling up
Somebody's tits.
640
00:20:16,667 --> 00:20:18,600
You're talking
To kids about tits.
641
00:20:18,633 --> 00:20:19,567
Talking to kids ?
642
00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:20,900
The kid said,
I love tits.
643
00:20:20,933 --> 00:20:21,867
That's what
The kid said to me.
644
00:20:21,900 --> 00:20:23,133
What am I
Supposed to do ?
645
00:20:23,167 --> 00:20:24,233
Why are you talking
To little boys about tits ?
646
00:20:24,267 --> 00:20:27,400
He whispered it to me,
It was part of the game.
647
00:20:27,433 --> 00:20:29,400
Have you ever played
Telephone before ?
648
00:20:29,433 --> 00:20:30,800
You don't even know how
To play telephone, do you ?
649
00:20:30,833 --> 00:20:32,033
I do know how
To play telephone.
650
00:20:32,067 --> 00:20:33,000
Oh, do you ?
651
00:20:33,033 --> 00:20:34,867
Yeah, but I play
The g-version.
652
00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:37,967
It's usually something like,
Susie lives down the lane.
653
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:41,900
( phone ringing )
654
00:20:43,233 --> 00:20:45,100
The kid didn't say,
Susie lives down the lane.
655
00:20:45,133 --> 00:20:46,200
He said,
I love tits.
656
00:20:46,233 --> 00:20:48,500
What ?
657
00:20:48,533 --> 00:20:49,900
Oh, my god.
658
00:20:49,933 --> 00:20:51,467
I'll be right over.
659
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:53,133
Alright,
Sit tight.
660
00:20:56,867 --> 00:20:58,567
Well, what did you do ?
I don't understand.
661
00:20:58,600 --> 00:20:59,633
Why did you break up
With her ?
662
00:20:59,667 --> 00:21:02,267
I need to be with
A good-looking woman.
663
00:21:02,300 --> 00:21:05,567
And since you were kind enough
To point that out to me,
664
00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:07,100
She had to go.
665
00:21:07,133 --> 00:21:09,200
You need to be with
A good-looking woman ?
666
00:21:09,233 --> 00:21:10,700
Who do you
Think you are ?
667
00:21:10,733 --> 00:21:11,833
Look, that
Doesn't matter.
668
00:21:11,867 --> 00:21:15,600
I need some assistance,
She was indispensable.
669
00:21:15,633 --> 00:21:17,833
Don't you have
Any friends ?
670
00:21:17,867 --> 00:21:18,867
Yes, I have friends.
671
00:21:18,900 --> 00:21:20,067
But I'm not gonna
Impose on them.
672
00:21:20,067 --> 00:21:21,433
I think you
Should help me.
673
00:21:21,467 --> 00:21:24,733
You're the one who
Got me into this mess.
674
00:21:24,767 --> 00:21:26,767
I need a little help.
675
00:21:28,533 --> 00:21:30,067
Thanks a lot, larry.
676
00:21:30,067 --> 00:21:31,933
Just, grab it
This way.
677
00:21:31,967 --> 00:21:33,533
You don't have
To get in between.
678
00:21:33,567 --> 00:21:34,800
We're not
A gay couple.
679
00:21:34,833 --> 00:21:38,100
( music )
680
00:22:18,667 --> 00:22:20,767
Hey.
681
00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:21,267
Hey.
682
00:22:21,300 --> 00:22:23,167
What's doing ?
683
00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:24,333
Nothing.
684
00:22:24,367 --> 00:22:29,500
Um, I actually wanna buy
One of those, uh, shirts.
685
00:22:29,533 --> 00:22:30,467
Yeah ?
686
00:22:30,500 --> 00:22:32,300
Yeah, you know,
The stud sweatshirts.
687
00:22:32,333 --> 00:22:33,467
Yeah, those are great.
688
00:22:33,500 --> 00:22:34,600
Yeah, I need
To buy one for ben.
689
00:22:34,633 --> 00:22:35,667
Oh.
690
00:22:35,700 --> 00:22:36,900
'cause, uh, susie
Said he liked it, right ?
691
00:22:36,933 --> 00:22:37,967
How's ben doing ?
692
00:22:38,067 --> 00:22:40,233
The eye is okay.
693
00:22:40,267 --> 00:22:42,533
The eye is not
The problem.
694
00:22:42,567 --> 00:22:45,467
The problem, was that
I didn't sing happy birthday.
695
00:22:45,500 --> 00:22:47,067
He's mad at you
For that ?
696
00:22:47,067 --> 00:22:48,300
I don't sing
The happy birthday song.
697
00:22:48,333 --> 00:22:49,233
Well, I never see you sing
The happy birthday song.
698
00:22:49,267 --> 00:22:51,400
It's a stupid song,
I don't like it.
699
00:22:51,433 --> 00:22:52,933
Well, you're entitled.
700
00:22:52,967 --> 00:22:54,500
I was right about
Those sticks, though.
701
00:22:54,533 --> 00:22:56,533
I looked around at
That party at one point.
702
00:22:56,567 --> 00:22:59,067
I saw five people
Holding sticks.
703
00:22:59,067 --> 00:23:00,400
I did.
704
00:23:00,433 --> 00:23:01,600
I was checking.
705
00:23:01,633 --> 00:23:03,400
Can't just lay it down,
Like, on a table ?
706
00:23:03,433 --> 00:23:04,900
It's gross.
707
00:23:04,933 --> 00:23:06,233
You can't put that
Down on a table.
708
00:23:06,267 --> 00:23:08,167
You have to wait for
A server to come by.
709
00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:09,367
Do me a favor.
710
00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:10,067
Yeah.
711
00:23:10,067 --> 00:23:11,267
Get the shirt.
712
00:23:11,300 --> 00:23:13,733
Do not say it's for ben,
Say it's for you.
713
00:23:13,767 --> 00:23:15,567
She's all pissed off about
The other night, you know...
714
00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:16,833
Fine, yeah, okay.
715
00:23:16,867 --> 00:23:19,067
Susie !
716
00:23:19,100 --> 00:23:22,267
What the fuck
Do you want, larry ?
717
00:23:22,300 --> 00:23:24,467
Well, you know what ?
718
00:23:24,500 --> 00:23:28,100
I would love to buy
One of those shirts.
719
00:23:28,133 --> 00:23:29,233
Oh, yeah, right.
720
00:23:29,267 --> 00:23:30,633
No, seriously.
721
00:23:30,667 --> 00:23:32,800
It's, like, you go to a movie
And it kind of stays with you.
722
00:23:32,833 --> 00:23:34,567
A good movie,
You know what I mean ?
723
00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:36,067
And so, uh,
I don't know.
724
00:23:36,067 --> 00:23:38,333
I feel like, I'm, why am I
Thinking about the shirt ?
725
00:23:38,367 --> 00:23:39,900
I, I, I
Want the shirt.
726
00:23:39,933 --> 00:23:41,133
Really ?
727
00:23:41,167 --> 00:23:41,833
Yes.
728
00:23:41,867 --> 00:23:42,867
They're great shirts.
729
00:23:42,900 --> 00:23:44,867
Well, I know
They're great shirts.
730
00:23:44,900 --> 00:23:45,733
You know they're
Great shirts.
731
00:23:45,767 --> 00:23:46,733
No, you know what ?
732
00:23:46,767 --> 00:23:48,067
Because the shirt
Was talking to me,
733
00:23:48,067 --> 00:23:49,667
And I need
A little more flair.
734
00:23:49,700 --> 00:23:51,067
I don't have
Any flair.
735
00:23:51,067 --> 00:23:53,500
That is true, alright,
I have them in the trunk.
736
00:23:53,533 --> 00:23:54,067
Really ?
737
00:23:54,067 --> 00:23:55,300
Yeah.
738
00:23:55,333 --> 00:23:56,833
We'll pick out a color,
You know, lar, it's, like,
739
00:23:56,867 --> 00:23:58,067
You're making me
Very happy now.
740
00:23:58,067 --> 00:23:59,233
Well.
741
00:23:59,267 --> 00:24:02,067
Okay, I think the red
Would look good on you.
742
00:24:02,100 --> 00:24:03,767
'cause you're kind of
Pale and pasty,
743
00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:06,700
And this is a great color,
The red, it's fun.
744
00:24:06,733 --> 00:24:07,967
What are you saying,
Pale and pasty for ?
745
00:24:08,067 --> 00:24:10,433
Well, you are, you're not
One from the sunshine.
746
00:24:10,467 --> 00:24:11,267
I play golf.
747
00:24:11,300 --> 00:24:12,600
I'm out, I get sun.
748
00:24:12,633 --> 00:24:14,600
Alright, larry, I just think
The red is a good color.
749
00:24:14,633 --> 00:24:16,767
I have blue,
I have green.
750
00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:17,567
The red, I'll take
The red, yeah.
751
00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:19,267
But the red
Is good for you.
752
00:24:19,300 --> 00:24:20,267
It's, like,
I look at them...
753
00:24:20,300 --> 00:24:22,200
Indiana. You know,
I had a friend who's,
754
00:24:22,233 --> 00:24:24,100
Who's sister went
There years ago.
755
00:24:24,133 --> 00:24:26,067
So there you go,
It's perfect.
756
00:24:26,067 --> 00:24:27,333
I don't think
I have a bag.
757
00:24:27,367 --> 00:24:28,567
Let me go in the house,
And I'll get you something.
758
00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:30,100
That's alright, I don't need
A bag, I'll just take it.
759
00:24:30,133 --> 00:24:32,067
Alright, fine,
You made me happy, larry.
760
00:24:32,067 --> 00:24:33,733
Alright, what is it,
60 bucks ?
761
00:24:33,767 --> 00:24:36,067
It's 100 bucks, darling,
What are you crazy ?
762
00:24:36,067 --> 00:24:37,533
No, you know, lar ?
763
00:24:37,567 --> 00:24:38,300
Me to you.
764
00:24:38,333 --> 00:24:39,467
Get out of here.
765
00:24:39,500 --> 00:24:40,767
No, don't, no, I will
Not take your money.
766
00:24:40,800 --> 00:24:42,433
Your money's no
Good here, darling.
767
00:24:42,467 --> 00:24:44,600
All is forgiven, honey.
768
00:24:44,633 --> 00:24:45,867
Alright.
769
00:24:49,500 --> 00:24:52,800
Da, dum, da, da,
Da, da, da, da, da.
770
00:24:52,833 --> 00:24:54,467
Perfect.
771
00:24:54,500 --> 00:24:55,500
Great.
772
00:24:55,533 --> 00:24:57,233
You get everything
The first time.
773
00:24:57,267 --> 00:25:00,333
No, no, no, I've been drilling
That thing for two hours.
774
00:25:00,367 --> 00:25:01,567
Well, see, you do your
Homework, which is good.
775
00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:02,467
Yeah, well, I do.
776
00:25:02,500 --> 00:25:03,200
Okay, they're
Over there.
777
00:25:03,233 --> 00:25:04,367
Right there,
Turn around.
778
00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:05,067
Right over there.
779
00:25:05,067 --> 00:25:06,900
Hey.
Hey.
780
00:25:06,933 --> 00:25:07,433
Straight.
781
00:25:07,467 --> 00:25:08,600
I got it.
782
00:25:08,633 --> 00:25:09,733
Hi ya you doin' ?
783
00:25:09,767 --> 00:25:11,333
Listen, I wanna
Say something.
784
00:25:11,367 --> 00:25:14,767
Happy birthday.
785
00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:16,767
Oh, alright,
This is ridiculous.
786
00:25:16,800 --> 00:25:18,367
You don't have
To do that, larry.
787
00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:20,167
I know I didn't have to,
But I wanted to.
788
00:25:20,200 --> 00:25:21,067
I'm sorry.
789
00:25:21,067 --> 00:25:23,100
Let me just say,
I'm sorry.
790
00:25:23,133 --> 00:25:24,100
Really, no, no, no.
791
00:25:24,133 --> 00:25:26,367
I've been, like,
Stressed out of my mind.
792
00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:27,567
Listen, I stabbed you
In the eye, man.
793
00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:28,467
No, no, no,
No, no, no, no.
794
00:25:28,500 --> 00:25:29,867
I've been crazed about
This thing,
795
00:25:29,900 --> 00:25:32,300
And getting into your space, and
I shouldn't get into your space.
796
00:25:32,333 --> 00:25:34,067
You're doing what you're doing,
I'm doing what I'm doing.
797
00:25:34,067 --> 00:25:35,933
We're working together,
We're gonna make it work.
798
00:25:35,967 --> 00:25:36,767
And I'm sorry, okay ?
799
00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:37,967
Well, I'm sorry too.
800
00:25:38,067 --> 00:25:39,667
Okay, well, let's just,
Let's be friends, okay ?
801
00:25:39,700 --> 00:25:40,733
Alright.
802
00:25:40,767 --> 00:25:43,100
And you didn't have
To get me a gift.
803
00:25:43,133 --> 00:25:44,600
I'm sorry.
804
00:25:44,633 --> 00:25:45,867
What is this ?
805
00:25:45,900 --> 00:25:47,100
Open it up !
806
00:25:47,133 --> 00:25:48,933
Oh, you got me
A gift.
807
00:25:55,167 --> 00:25:56,600
I knew you
Liked it.
808
00:25:56,633 --> 00:25:58,067
Oh, yeah.
809
00:25:58,100 --> 00:26:01,400
Yeah. It's one of those, it's a
Sweatshirt with studs on it.
810
00:26:01,433 --> 00:26:02,200
Yeah.
811
00:26:02,233 --> 00:26:04,300
Indiana.
812
00:26:04,333 --> 00:26:06,100
These are the ones
That susie...
813
00:26:06,133 --> 00:26:06,633
Yes, I know.
814
00:26:06,667 --> 00:26:07,567
That's right.
815
00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:08,567
She told me how much
You liked them.
816
00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:09,967
Oh, I love these.
817
00:26:10,067 --> 00:26:11,400
She said you, you like
Flipped out over them.
818
00:26:11,433 --> 00:26:12,933
So I thought, uh,
You know, I,
819
00:26:12,967 --> 00:26:14,300
I thought it was
Like a perfect gift.
820
00:26:14,333 --> 00:26:16,400
Like a fun
Sweatshirt.
821
00:26:16,433 --> 00:26:17,667
Well...
822
00:26:17,700 --> 00:26:19,167
Well, happy birthday.
823
00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:21,467
Thank you, thank you.
824
00:26:21,500 --> 00:26:22,100
Okay.
825
00:26:22,133 --> 00:26:23,300
Alright.
826
00:26:23,333 --> 00:26:25,167
High five.
827
00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:28,767
Oh, yeah, sorry.
828
00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:31,467
Okay, guys, let's get started,
Uh, top of scene three.
829
00:26:31,500 --> 00:26:32,100
Alright.
830
00:26:32,133 --> 00:26:34,333
Better get a script.
831
00:26:34,367 --> 00:26:35,600
Not off
Book yet ?
832
00:26:35,633 --> 00:26:36,733
Huh ?
833
00:26:36,767 --> 00:26:38,867
Uh, not on this scene,
Not on this scene.
834
00:26:38,900 --> 00:26:40,800
Larry, you enter
From stage left.
835
00:26:40,833 --> 00:26:42,667
Is that my left,
836
00:26:42,700 --> 00:26:45,167
Or if I'm sitting
In the audience my left ?
837
00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:45,933
Which...
838
00:26:45,967 --> 00:26:48,400
It's your left,
Right now.
839
00:26:48,433 --> 00:26:49,967
Okay, so that way.
840
00:26:50,067 --> 00:26:51,200
I always get
Those mixed up.
841
00:26:51,233 --> 00:26:52,533
That's very hard.
842
00:26:52,567 --> 00:26:54,633
Leo !
843
00:26:54,667 --> 00:26:56,633
Leo !
844
00:26:56,667 --> 00:27:00,333
( piano music )
845
00:27:00,367 --> 00:27:03,700
* everything
Has its season *
846
00:27:03,733 --> 00:27:07,067
* everything
Has its time *
847
00:27:07,100 --> 00:27:13,133
* show me a reason,
And I'll soon show you a rhyme *
848
00:27:13,167 --> 00:27:16,267
* cats fit on
The window sill *
849
00:27:16,300 --> 00:27:20,433
* children
Fit in the snow *
850
00:27:20,467 --> 00:27:28,067
* why do I feel I don't fit in,
Anywhere I go *
851
00:27:28,067 --> 00:27:34,567
* rivers belong
Where they can ramble *
852
00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:41,167
* eagles belong
Where they can fly *
853
00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:48,200
* I've got to be where
My spirit can run free *
854
00:27:48,233 --> 00:27:52,400
* gotta find
My corner *
855
00:27:52,433 --> 00:27:59,233
* now's our inning,
Stand the world on its ear *
856
00:27:59,267 --> 00:28:05,567
* set it spinning,
That'll be just the beginning *
857
00:28:05,600 --> 00:28:07,067
* turn it up
858
00:28:07,067 --> 00:28:08,833
* like a light
859
00:28:08,867 --> 00:28:09,767
* we've got nothing
To hit but the heights *
860
00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:12,300
Okay, let's go.
861
00:28:12,333 --> 00:28:13,333
Come on, right
After this song.
862
00:28:13,367 --> 00:28:15,100
Oh, my gosh,
I can't take anymore.
863
00:28:15,133 --> 00:28:16,333
Come on,
It's gypsy.
864
00:28:16,367 --> 00:28:17,633
I'll be outside.
865
00:28:17,667 --> 00:28:19,267
* just you wait
866
00:28:19,300 --> 00:28:24,767
* that lucky star
I talk about is due *
867
00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:26,333
* due
868
00:28:26,367 --> 00:28:31,233
* honey, everything's
Coming up roses... *
869
00:28:31,267 --> 00:28:37,067
* for me and for you
870
00:28:37,067 --> 00:28:39,067
Thank you,
Thank you very much.
871
00:28:42,167 --> 00:28:46,333
Captions copyright 2003
Home box office, inc.
872
00:28:46,367 --> 00:28:46,767
Captioned by
Hbo communications center
873
00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:50,467
Your hand,
58800
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