All language subtitles for The Neighborhood - 02x21 - Welcome to the Speed Bump.ION10.English.C.orig.Addic7ed.com

Oh, Lord, not today.

Hey, Calvin, greetings...

from the future.

Goodbye... from the now.

Just checking out this sweet ride

to make sure it's safe for Grover.

Have you fallen on your ass yet?

Not yet.

Oh, well, then, looks like
I have a few minutes.

Now, I always test out Grover's
toys before I give them to him.

I've swallowed every size Lego there is

to make sure they're
not a choking hazard.

Turns out, some of them are.

Dave, I got to get to work,
so if you're gonna fall,

you know, let's make it happen.

Actually,

I'm starting to get the
hang of this thing.

It's a lot easier than it looks!

Whoa, whoa! Dave, watch out!

Oh!

Hey, man, are you all right?

Yes, but...

Did you see that idiot out there?

Yeah, that speeding car almost hit him.

Are you sure you're okay?

Yeah, I'm-I'm fine, thanks.

Well, good. Well, look, I'm
late for work, but, um,

this was totally worth it.

- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -

Oh, hey, Dave.

Hey, Calvin. I need your signature.

I told you, I am not autographing

that picture of us at Benihanas.

I'm not here for that.

But FYI, everyone else
at the table signed it.

Look, I'm sorry, Dave.

I don't want Calvin signing anything.

I'm still trying to get him
out of that damn record club.

Three years and 20 more CDs,

and I'm Scot-free.

Well, you know, actually,
after yesterday,

I decided to do something
about all the speeders.

It turns out there's
a new navigation app

that's sending cars down our
street to beat the traffic.

You know, I use done
of those things once.

The stupid thing told me

to drive through someone’s backyard.

But on the plus side, I
saved about three minutes.

Well, you know,

I did some research, and the
city will put in a speed bump

if I get a signature from
everyone on the street.

You're my first stop.

And your last one.

A white guy going
door-to-door for signatures

in this neighborhood?

Nice knowing you, Dave.

What Calvin is trying to say...

People around here are a little
suspicious of getting scammed.

You know? Dwayne Wilson
thought he was signing up

for free HBO and ended
up in the Marines.

Poor bastard just made colonel.

Well, if door-to-door

isn't gonna work, what should I do?

Well, first, if you want people

to sign anything around here,

- you got to earn their trust.
- Mm.

Well, how do I do that?

Well, I mean, they're
all individuals, Dave.

For example, Trey likes
to talk about sports

and how paternity tests
can be wrong sometimes.

And Old Miss Kim like stalking
about Bingo, her garden

and how her milkshake brings
all the boys to the yard.

And whatever you do,

do not ask Little Hatchet
how she got her nickname.

Or why she got a divorce, but they're

- basically the same story.
- Basically the same story.

Man, it sounds like I've bit
off more than I can chew.

This is that Lego
fireman all over again.

Dave, just invite everybody over,

give them some food, and they'll sign.

It'll only work if you do one thing.

Feed 'em catfish and cornbread.

Why that?

Because that's what I'm in the mood for.

Hey, G-man,

what are you doing?

Just playing soccer in my head.

Hey, I just scored!

Well, I used to pretend
like that in my head.

Except instead of soccer, it was girls.

Yeah, but you never scored.

So, why are you just pretending to play

when you got this whole lawn right here?

Since my dad almost got hit by a car,

my mom won't let me
play near the street.

She's being crazy.

No, I just think she's being
cautious and protective.

No, she's being crazy. Watch.

- Whoa!
- Grover,

I told you to stay on the porch!

Wow, Gemma. You got here
before your voice did.

Sorry.

I'm just so worried about
Grover getting hurt.

You know, with all the cars
zipping up and down the street.

Yeah, we get it.

Our mom was afraid of
a lot of stuff, too.

We spent half our childhood
locked up like Grover here

in porch jail.

Yeah, she put us in there
for earthquakes, pit bulls,

that guy with the ice cream truck

that never had any ice cream.

Well, hey, we are going to
check out the Pasadena fair.

Why don't you let us
take Grover with us?

Can I, Mom, please?

I don't know.

Do you promise not to
do anything dangerous?

Oh, absolutely.

I guarantee we will have

a no-fun, danger-free,
super-boring time.

Uh, I'm not sure I want to go anymore.

Hey, zip it, kid, we're
trying to break you out.

I haven't seen this much
of the block in one place

since Colonel Wilson got home from Iraq.

And everyone is loving my food.

No one's even noticed that the
catfish is actually tofu.

Uh-uh. This ain't right.

Calvin, you were right.
This was the perfect way

to get the whole street on
board for the speed bump.

What can I say, Dave?
These are my people.

I love them, and they love me.

Out of the way, jackass.

- Who's that?
- Oh, that's Walter.

That's the jerk that lives
on the other side of me.

Oh, man, I've never seen him
outside of the house before.

Yeah, because he only
comes out at night,

like bats and vampires.

Well, now that everybody's here,
let's... let's get started.

Okay, uh, if I could have
everyone's attention, please.

An easel? Is he gonna talk about
a speed bump or paint one?

Dave loves giving presentations.

One time I asked him why,

and he answered with a
ten-minute presentation.

Okay, now, I don't want to
take too much of your time,

so I'll just get right to it.

Pasadena.

Jewel of the San Gabriel Valley.

Established in 1874, but, you know,

oddly, not incorporated until...

How long is this gonna take?

I have plans with a gentleman tonight,

and I'm hoping he's not
gonna be a gentleman.

Yeah.

And I got a cable guy coming
between now and Friday.

Hey, hey, Dave, you-you may
want to speed this up.

Yeah, got it. Okay, uh,

skipping the Industrial Revolution,

the sinking of the Titanic,
uh, World War I...

The automobile.

I'm out.

It's not worth the free food.

I can come over earlier.

Got to go.

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay. All
right, hold up, everybody.

Come on now.

I want to walk out on Dave
just as much as you do,

but he actually has
something important to say.

More important than this sweet
piece of meat right here?

Okay, all right, guys.

Look, we've all seen how fast

these cars have been
going down our streets.

And I think it's time we
do something about it.

- That's true.
- You got a point.

- That is true.
- Hey, come on out here, Dave.

Come on now. Come on now.

Thank you, Calvin, and, look,

I'll-I'll cut right to the chase.

- To quote Henry Ford...
- Oh, you know what?

To quote Calvin Butler, if
you sign, you can leave.

So, how's that deep-fried pickle?

- It's pretty disgusting.
- Um,

some things should not be
battered and put on a stick.

Ooh, deep-fried butter.

- Whoa!
- Oh.

Can we go on that roller coaster?

Uh, sorry, little man.
We promised your mom

we wouldn't do anything dangerous.

And we already pushed our
luck with the petting zoo.

That pygmy goat tried to eat my jacket.

Hey, how about we go
on the Ferris wheel?

Ferris wheel? That's
the lamest ride here.

Well, we can go back
to the bounce house.

And if you promise to be careful,

this time we’ll let you jump.

Fine, we'll go on the
stupid Ferris wheel.

But you guys are boring.

That kid's not as cute as he used to be.

Thank you.

Oh, thank you so much.

- Yeah, good.
- Oh, here you go.

Now, you sure this not for the Marines?

Hmm.

You'd be a lot safer joining the Marines

than going over to Miss Kim's tonight.

I know. Pray for me.

Hey, thanks for backing me up, Calvin.

Everyone's signing the petition.

Well, nothing’s more important to me

than the safety of our neighborhood.

I'll do anything to protect these kids.

Oh, hey, Walter. If you could just sign

on the last spot right there.

Oh, yeah, I'd... I-I'd be happy to

if Calvin finally agrees to move
his fence off of my property.

Well, Dave, we tried.

Hey, Calvin, what was that all about?

That fool thinks my fence is
six inches onto his property.

- I s it?
- Whose side are you on, Dave?

Calvin, Walter's the
last signature we need

to get the speed bump.

Look, that fence has been
there since I moved in,

and I'm not moving it now.

Plus, if I give in to him
once, it won't stop there.

I'm telling you, Dave,
kindness is a slippery slope.

Well, okay, Calvin, that's not true.

Oh, yes, it is. I said
hello to you once,

and look at us now.

Okay, well, if you won't move,

then how are we gonna
get the speed bump?

Oh, that's easy. Gonna
wait for him to die.

Hey, besides, I got you’ll
those other signatures.

Yeah, which mean absolutely nothing

if we don't get Walter's.

Well, I'm sorry, Dave.

If it makes you feel any better,

I'll sign the picture of us at Benihana.

It's too late.

I already forged it.

Ha-ha!

Wow! What a view!

Yeah, check this out, little man.

You can see everything from up here.

Like how much fun they're
having over there

on the roller coaster!

Are you kidding?

That doesn't lookalike much fun at all.

We are totally coming
back here tomorrow.

- Whoa!
- Whoa!

- Whoa!
- Hey, now, hey!

What just happened?

Uh, I don't know.

Hey, maybe they're just
letting more riders on.

Uh, or...

maybe the motor just caught on fire,

and the operator tried to
put it out with his beer!

Seriously?

Hey, hey, look, it's okay, little man.

All right? Everything is gonna be fine.

It's not fine.

It's awesome!

- What? Oh!
- Finally, some real fun.

- Whoa!
- No!

Calvin Butler.

What is wrong with you?

I would say nothing, but I'm sure

you're about to tell me different.

You're damn right I am.

Dave just told me what happened.

I cannot believe after
all of these years

you're still fighting
over that stupid fence.

Why does Walter care so
much about six inches?

Well, why do you care so much?

It's six inches.

Is it about the money?

I mean, it can't be that
expensive to move a fence.

No, it's not about that.
It's about the principle.

And it's like my father always said:

"A man's fence is a man's fence."

When did your father say that?

Whose side are you on, Tina?

Is your pride more important

than the safety of the
kids in this neighborhood?

Nah, babe. Don't try to make
this whole speed bump thing

about safety.

Okay...

when Malcolm and Marty were little,

you did everything in your
power to keep them safe.

You even used to make
Marty wear a helmet

just to play hide-and-seek.

I made him wear that thing all the time.

The kid had no balance.

Okay.

When Malcolm said that he was old enough

to take his bike to the park,
you followed him in your car

just to make sure he got there safely.

I had to.

He was pulling Marty in a wagon.

That boy fell out every two blocks.

Come on, babe.

You love Grover.

Doesn't he deserve to be just
as safe as our boys were?

Yeah, I guess.

That's my big papa bear.

Taking care of all the little cubs.

Yeah, you know me, huh?

Always looking out for
the neighborhood kids.

Mmm.

- Oh. You know what?
- What?

That gives me an idea. What?

I can underpay them to move the fence.

Yeah!

Whoa, whoa, whoa! You have got
to cut that out, little man.

You have got to stop.

This rocking is not helping that
deep-fried pizza stay down.

What? When did you eat that?

When you guys were in the bathroom.

You two are no fun.

You're just as bad as my mom.

Hey, look, don't be
so hard on her, okay?

She just wants to keep you safe.

Why? I'm not a baby.

Yeah, I know. The only reason

your mom is so overprotective

is because of how much
she cares about you.

Yeah, I-if you see a kid
having too much fun,

that means his mom doesn't love him.

So, that kid in front
of the roller coaster

with his hands up in the air...

You mean the one eating that
corn dog with no shirt on?

Yeah. His mama don't
even know he's here.

Wow. That's sad.

Exactly.

So every time your mom
tells you, stop running,

tie your shoes, or be careful,

what she's really saying
is she loves you.

I guess I'm pretty lucky.

You sure are.

Which means she's gonna be
super mad when she finds out

you got me stuck up here.

Uh, no, she won't, no, she won't.

Because we're fine. Right, Marty?

Yeah, yeah. We-We're-we're totally safe.

This kind of thing happens all the time.

- Oh, thank you, Jesus!
- Ah, we are gonna live!

Thanks so much for doing this, Calvin.

Did Tina change your mind?

No. I was always gonna do it.

I just needed to know
how committed you were.

Well, you're doing the right thing,

and I, for one, appreciate it.

Do you appreciate it enough

to give me six inches on your property?

Sorry, Calvin.

It's like my dad used to say:

"A man's fence is a man's fence."

Damn. You're not Miss Kim.

Look, Walter, I need to talk to you.

Oh, wha-what are you here to steal now?

My Wi-Fi password?

I'll give you a hint.

It's "Calvin" and four other letters.

Look, man,

I just came over here to say
if you sign Dave's petition,

I'll move the damn fence.

Great. I was waiting for you to die.

Walter, I really appreciate it.

Just sign right under where Trey
wrote "Not joining Marines."

Okay.

But actually, since it
took you this long,

maybe I should charge
you a little interest.

How about we move that
fence a full foot?

What?

I got a full foot for you.

You know... Oh, okay,
all right, all right.

Calvin, calm down.

We need that speed bump. Please.

All right. But this ain't for you.

This is for the kids.

Well, in that case, let's
move it two feet...

One for me and one for the kids.

Oh, to hell with you!

You know what, I can't believe
you’re trying to pull this crap,

after all the stuff I let you
slide with over the years.

What have you let slide?

Are you kidding me?

Do you know how many
of your old roof tiles

have flown over into my yard?

And what about the
floodlights you put up?

They're just shining bright
all night in my bedroom.

Every time I get up to
go to the bathroom,

it feels like a prison break.

Not my problem.

A-Actually, Walter, it is.

According to the Pasadena Zoning Manual,

those are both residential
C-1 violations.

So?

So, if the city inspector finds out,

you're staring down the barrel
of some pretty hefty fines.

He is?

You are.

Yeah, you know, and now that I’m
looking around, there's no way

that this half-saddle door
threshold is up to code.

And don't even get me started
on the enclosed breezeway,

which is clearly within five
feet of a multi-person dwelling.

Do not get him started on breezeways.

Well, hold on, now, we don't
have to get into all of that.

You're right, we don't.

Because you're gonna sign that petition,

and we're gonna put up a speed
bump to protect these kids.

Are we clear?

Crystal, baby.

Fine. You win.

But that catfish at your party sucked.

Give me my pen.

Damn, Dave, that was gangsta, man.

Yeah, you want to hear
something even more gangsta?

I just made all that stuff up.

I don't even know what a breezeway is.

This is so great.

That speed bump is really gonna
slow people down around here.

Yeah, and it's short enough that
I could just zip around it.

Mom, does this mean I
can play outside again?

Yes. But not near the street,

not after dark, and never
without supervision.

I love you, too.

Can I go inside and play on my iPad?

Okay.

What was I thinking? He
could get carpal tunnel.

Look at that speed bump.

Isn't she beautiful?

Yeah. It reminds me of you.

- Mm.
- Black,

curvy...

and makes me want to slow
down and take my time.

Oh...

Oh, now I'm gonna feel guilty
every time I run over it.

But, seriously, you did a
good thing for the community.

You should be proud of yourself.

Well, I'm glad you feel that way.

Because I've decided...

I'm not stopping here.

What do you think?

You're running for city council?

- Yeah.
- You're kidding, right?

Nope. You know, getting this done

really woke up my sense of civic duty.

Plus, I've always wanted to
see my face on a button.

So, if you win,

won't that mean you'll be super
busy doing government stuff

and won't have the time to
hang around here as much?

I'm afraid so.

- Hmm.
- Well, in that case,

you got my vote.

- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -