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♪ She was unemployed, unhappy,
2
00:00:04,379 --> 00:00:05,965
♪ she had no cash.
3
00:00:05,965 --> 00:00:08,758
♪ Pretending to be classy,
but just poor white trash. ♪
4
00:00:08,758 --> 00:00:10,103
♪ The tragic but true fact is
5
00:00:10,103 --> 00:00:11,517
♪ a bitter aging actress
6
00:00:11,517 --> 00:00:14,551
♪ who's agent just
recently dropped her. ♪
7
00:00:14,551 --> 00:00:17,103
♪ Sittin' on her ass,
drinking cheap boxed wine, ♪
8
00:00:17,103 --> 00:00:19,896
♪ 'til she took a bogus
class while at home online. ♪
9
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♪ Finished fast, came in
last, barely passed. ♪
10
00:00:22,758 --> 00:00:26,344
♪ Now the bitch calls
herself a doctor. ♪
11
00:00:26,344 --> 00:00:29,172
♪ Who would have guessed
that this phony would treat ♪
12
00:00:29,172 --> 00:00:33,103
♪ the craziest of
the showbiz elite ♪
13
00:00:33,103 --> 00:00:36,103
♪ And now the only thing
more distant and more scary ♪
14
00:00:36,103 --> 00:00:39,137
♪ is her slutty blonde
assistant, that dumb
whore, Sherry. ♪
15
00:00:39,137 --> 00:00:41,724
♪ You don't wanna be
on her client list. ♪
16
00:00:41,724 --> 00:00:46,689
♪ It's Doctor Jackie, the
unlicensed psychotherapist. ♪
17
00:00:54,793 --> 00:00:57,000
Honey, that's what I said.
18
00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:59,137
I told him if you want anal,
19
00:00:59,137 --> 00:01:02,068
you're gonna have to do a
lot better than Applebee's.
20
00:01:03,586 --> 00:01:05,655
Oh my God, you know exactly
what I'm talking about biatch.
21
00:01:07,896 --> 00:01:09,551
I gotta go. Bye mom.
22
00:01:11,517 --> 00:01:14,586
Well hi, and welcome to
Dr. Jackie's show- office.
23
00:01:14,586 --> 00:01:18,551
I mean Dr. Jackie's
office, how may I help you?
24
00:01:18,551 --> 00:01:22,241
I'm Tiffany, I'm leasing
the office next door.
25
00:01:22,241 --> 00:01:24,758
I wanted to come over
and introduce myself
26
00:01:24,758 --> 00:01:26,379
Hi, I'm Sherry.
27
00:01:26,379 --> 00:01:29,172
to Dr. Jackie.
I've seen her on TV.
28
00:01:29,172 --> 00:01:32,482
I wanted to introduce
myself to Dr. Jackie.
29
00:01:32,482 --> 00:01:33,724
Oh, okay.
30
00:01:33,724 --> 00:01:35,241
Well, she's not here
31
00:01:35,241 --> 00:01:38,413
and I'm not expecting her
until much, much later.
32
00:01:38,413 --> 00:01:41,862
Good morning. I
wasn't expecting you.
33
00:01:43,413 --> 00:01:45,000
Oh, this is Susan.
34
00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:46,275
Tiffany.
35
00:01:46,275 --> 00:01:47,689
Susan's renting
the space next door.
36
00:01:47,689 --> 00:01:49,379
I'm an aesthetic nurse.
37
00:01:49,379 --> 00:01:52,827
I wanted to come by and
say hello and offer you a
38
00:01:52,827 --> 00:01:55,931
complimentary procedure
of your choice.
39
00:01:55,931 --> 00:01:58,827
Oh, that is so
generous of you.
40
00:01:58,827 --> 00:01:59,620
Thank you.
41
00:02:01,034 --> 00:02:03,827
You don't, by any chance,
do a tattoo removal do you?
42
00:02:03,827 --> 00:02:05,103
I would love to get rid of this
43
00:02:05,103 --> 00:02:07,931
Dave Chappelle
portrait on my shoulder
44
00:02:07,931 --> 00:02:11,862
and maybe the I heart
J.K. Rowling tramp stamp?
45
00:02:13,379 --> 00:02:14,793
I'm afraid I don't.
46
00:02:14,793 --> 00:02:19,172
I specialize in Botox,
filler, follicle rejuvenation,
47
00:02:22,068 --> 00:02:24,482
lip plumping, hair removal.
48
00:02:24,482 --> 00:02:27,000
Hair removal? Oh, I might
be interested in that.
49
00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:28,827
Do you have a weed
whacker over there?
50
00:02:30,137 --> 00:02:33,206
Hey, could you maybe
help me get rid of this
51
00:02:33,206 --> 00:02:37,896
unsightly thing that has been
embarrassing me for years?
52
00:02:38,862 --> 00:02:40,172
Just kidding, Shirley.
53
00:02:40,172 --> 00:02:41,000
I love you.
54
00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:41,862
Sherry.
55
00:02:41,862 --> 00:02:43,344
Whatever.
56
00:02:43,344 --> 00:02:47,620
You know, the combination
of all that cheap, greasy,
57
00:02:49,275 --> 00:02:53,379
heavy makeup and all
this unflattering
fluorescent lighting
58
00:02:54,758 --> 00:02:57,793
can really wreak
havoc on one's face.
59
00:02:59,620 --> 00:03:03,068
Oh, I'm sorry if
that sounded insensitive.
60
00:03:03,068 --> 00:03:06,931
It's just that skin
changes the older you get.
61
00:03:09,310 --> 00:03:12,689
Well I'm right next door.
So just let me know.
62
00:03:12,689 --> 00:03:15,517
Yes, I will. And
just to show you
63
00:03:15,517 --> 00:03:18,172
how much I appreciate
you coming over here,
64
00:03:18,172 --> 00:03:21,344
I'd like to offer you
one free therapy session
65
00:03:21,344 --> 00:03:22,862
of your choice.
66
00:03:22,862 --> 00:03:25,931
I specialize in helping
clueless, classless idiots
67
00:03:25,931 --> 00:03:28,068
gain common social skills.
68
00:03:31,931 --> 00:03:33,551
What's my first appointment?
69
00:03:33,551 --> 00:03:35,517
Oh, these two weirdos.
70
00:03:35,517 --> 00:03:37,758
They just called to say that
they were having trouble
71
00:03:37,758 --> 00:03:41,068
parking because the
vibrations were off.
72
00:03:41,965 --> 00:03:43,172
F M L.
73
00:03:43,172 --> 00:03:44,241
Huh?
74
00:03:44,241 --> 00:03:47,206
That means fuck my life.
75
00:03:47,206 --> 00:03:48,517
Just kidding.
76
00:03:50,931 --> 00:03:51,862
Horrible. Just awful.
77
00:03:51,862 --> 00:03:53,206
Oh my God, the receptionist.
78
00:03:53,206 --> 00:03:54,275
Oh, it's a wasteland.
79
00:03:54,275 --> 00:03:55,103
It's awful.
80
00:03:55,103 --> 00:03:55,965
It's a spiritual
81
00:03:55,965 --> 00:03:57,517
District nine.
82
00:03:57,517 --> 00:03:59,000
It's a spiritual vacuum
out there. Just like I'm.
83
00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:00,344
Ugh.
84
00:04:00,344 --> 00:04:01,482
We're here to help people.
85
00:04:01,482 --> 00:04:02,413
Yeah.
86
00:04:02,413 --> 00:04:03,689
So how can we help you?
87
00:04:03,689 --> 00:04:04,344
We come in, it's
like a Brillo pad
88
00:04:04,344 --> 00:04:05,620
Oh my God.
89
00:04:05,620 --> 00:04:06,896
of bad energy up
in my face. Just,
90
00:04:06,896 --> 00:04:08,172
Hi you guys.
91
00:04:08,172 --> 00:04:10,275
Sh, ba ba ba bah, no, no, no,
92
00:04:10,275 --> 00:04:11,379
No, no, no, not yet.
93
00:04:11,379 --> 00:04:12,206
Uh uh.
94
00:04:12,206 --> 00:04:13,137
Not yet.
95
00:04:13,137 --> 00:04:13,965
We have to set our intentions
96
00:04:13,965 --> 00:04:15,344
Always do that.
97
00:04:15,344 --> 00:04:18,103
We have to set the
operation thing. Just like,
98
00:04:18,103 --> 00:04:21,586
there. Gonna get some
good stuff going,
99
00:04:21,586 --> 00:04:25,000
because I am already in a
mood and I don't need that on.
100
00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:27,344
Do you have a lighter dear
or long handled lighter?
101
00:04:27,344 --> 00:04:28,551
I brought matches.
102
00:04:28,551 --> 00:04:29,758
Thank you. Babe,
look at me in the eye.
103
00:04:29,758 --> 00:04:30,586
You're welcome.
104
00:04:30,586 --> 00:04:31,655
Thank you.
105
00:04:31,655 --> 00:04:32,482
You're welcome.
106
00:04:32,482 --> 00:04:33,310
Thanks for being my,
107
00:04:34,137 --> 00:04:35,482
break up some of this.
108
00:04:35,482 --> 00:04:36,655
My champion.
109
00:04:38,206 --> 00:04:39,034
Ah, yes.
110
00:04:40,241 --> 00:04:42,275
A mask in case we
want to go blank.
111
00:04:42,275 --> 00:04:44,862
Just gonna take that out.
Oh, oh, that's better.
112
00:04:44,862 --> 00:04:45,965
Just get this out of the way
113
00:04:45,965 --> 00:04:46,896
So much better.
114
00:04:46,896 --> 00:04:47,620
Just set that right there.
115
00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:48,448
Mmmm
116
00:04:48,448 --> 00:04:50,206
That's a coaster.
117
00:04:51,137 --> 00:04:52,137
No no no, just, um, can you
118
00:04:52,137 --> 00:04:53,827
A coaster.
119
00:04:53,827 --> 00:04:55,482
She's adorable.
120
00:04:55,482 --> 00:04:57,931
Labels? No, gonna lay
that down there, over there.
121
00:04:57,931 --> 00:05:01,379
Okay. Well gentlemen, I don't
want to misgender anybody.
122
00:05:01,379 --> 00:05:02,206
Yeah. Be careful.
123
00:05:02,206 --> 00:05:03,034
Gentlemen okay?
124
00:05:03,034 --> 00:05:03,896
Yeah, uh,
125
00:05:03,896 --> 00:05:04,931
I don't like gentle.
126
00:05:04,931 --> 00:05:05,862
I don't man.
127
00:05:05,862 --> 00:05:07,068
I don't appreciate that.
128
00:05:07,068 --> 00:05:08,413
So spirit, sweet
sprite spirits.
129
00:05:08,413 --> 00:05:10,758
Sweet sprite spirits,
let's start. Now
130
00:05:10,758 --> 00:05:14,034
Yeah, 'cause this is
very harsh and priapic
131
00:05:14,034 --> 00:05:15,275
and I don't need
to look at that.
132
00:05:15,275 --> 00:05:16,551
I might get too
aroused by it so,
133
00:05:16,551 --> 00:05:19,413
Ugh, electronics.
Not great, but,
134
00:05:19,413 --> 00:05:21,689
Okay. You guys just breathe.
135
00:05:21,689 --> 00:05:23,310
Thank you so much
for being here.
136
00:05:23,310 --> 00:05:24,758
Thank you.
137
00:05:24,758 --> 00:05:27,000
That was a lot, but remember
we only have 50 minutes.
138
00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:29,172
So Peodor and Grimsley.
139
00:05:30,689 --> 00:05:31,517
No, wrong again.
140
00:05:31,517 --> 00:05:33,275
Opposite.
141
00:05:33,275 --> 00:05:34,000
Wow. Not intuitive at all.
142
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,241
I'm so sorry.
143
00:05:35,241 --> 00:05:36,448
Should we change
chairs for you?
144
00:05:36,448 --> 00:05:37,689
Is that what
you need it to be?
145
00:05:37,689 --> 00:05:38,862
We've never met,
no come on you guys.
146
00:05:40,344 --> 00:05:42,379
Let's try to keep this a
fertile zone if you will.
147
00:05:42,379 --> 00:05:43,344
Ooh, yes.
148
00:05:43,344 --> 00:05:44,172
Um
149
00:05:44,172 --> 00:05:45,689
Like my throat.
150
00:05:45,689 --> 00:05:47,862
Um, so let's just get
to brass tax if you will.
151
00:05:47,862 --> 00:05:48,689
Yes.
152
00:05:48,689 --> 00:05:49,931
Why are we here?
153
00:05:49,931 --> 00:05:51,965
We are depleted
from helping others.
154
00:05:51,965 --> 00:05:54,034
Just exhausted.
155
00:05:54,034 --> 00:05:55,310
Yeah. What exactly do you do?
156
00:05:55,310 --> 00:05:56,586
I mean, I see you the
accoutrement of your,
157
00:05:57,655 --> 00:05:59,344
What do we do?
158
00:05:59,344 --> 00:06:00,172
Clearly we do
159
00:06:00,172 --> 00:06:01,000
Is it healing? Or
160
00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:03,137
Yes. A. That
161
00:06:03,137 --> 00:06:04,000
Yes.
162
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:05,827
B. Fulfilling.
163
00:06:05,827 --> 00:06:07,620
Yes. Spiritual purging.
164
00:06:07,620 --> 00:06:09,172
Radical screen jumping.
165
00:06:09,172 --> 00:06:10,034
Yes.
166
00:06:10,034 --> 00:06:11,275
It's all in the
167
00:06:11,275 --> 00:06:12,310
Shriek enlightenment.
168
00:06:12,310 --> 00:06:13,689
Yeah.
169
00:06:13,689 --> 00:06:15,103
Ignoring truth.
170
00:06:15,103 --> 00:06:16,275
Yeah. There's a, the grip.
171
00:06:16,275 --> 00:06:18,310
The grip of forgiveness.
172
00:06:18,310 --> 00:06:19,241
Uh oh.
173
00:06:19,241 --> 00:06:20,103
The gripping of forgiveness.
174
00:06:20,103 --> 00:06:21,379
No, no, no.
175
00:06:21,379 --> 00:06:22,793
I've never heard the
phrase ignoring truth.
176
00:06:22,793 --> 00:06:23,620
Yeah, oh
177
00:06:23,620 --> 00:06:24,448
That, uh
178
00:06:24,448 --> 00:06:25,448
Why would you wanna
179
00:06:25,448 --> 00:06:26,482
I recommend it.
180
00:06:26,482 --> 00:06:27,413
There's a word for that.
181
00:06:27,413 --> 00:06:29,275
We need someone delusion.
182
00:06:29,275 --> 00:06:30,862
I named my niece delusion,
183
00:06:30,862 --> 00:06:32,413
they let me raise
her for three months.
184
00:06:32,413 --> 00:06:35,827
The state took her away
from me. But her, uh
185
00:06:35,827 --> 00:06:36,724
Which state was that?
186
00:06:36,724 --> 00:06:38,379
Huh? Wiscon.
187
00:06:38,379 --> 00:06:39,793
Wiscon.
188
00:06:39,793 --> 00:06:42,586
I won't say sin. Wiscon.
189
00:06:42,586 --> 00:06:45,344
I don't like sin. I love to sin.
190
00:06:45,344 --> 00:06:47,896
I don't like the negative
connotation. Here's the thing,
191
00:06:47,896 --> 00:06:49,586
Where did you hear?
192
00:06:49,586 --> 00:06:53,482
Did you see my, did you
see my bus bench ad, or
193
00:06:53,482 --> 00:06:54,689
Maybe.
194
00:06:54,689 --> 00:06:55,896
I'm just curious
as did someone
195
00:06:55,896 --> 00:06:57,137
I'm getting a,
196
00:06:57,137 --> 00:06:59,310
I'm getting a vision
of you on maybe like
197
00:06:59,310 --> 00:07:01,241
a television program
of some sort.
198
00:07:01,241 --> 00:07:02,241
You seem elegant.
199
00:07:02,241 --> 00:07:03,068
Oh, you saw me on
200
00:07:03,068 --> 00:07:03,931
We hate television.
201
00:07:03,931 --> 00:07:04,758
We won't deal with it.
202
00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:05,931
We don't like it.
203
00:07:05,931 --> 00:07:06,896
Maybe we were walking
by a storefront
204
00:07:06,896 --> 00:07:07,758
with televisions in it.
205
00:07:07,758 --> 00:07:09,000
Yeah.
206
00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:09,931
You know, we saw you on
television, possibly.
207
00:07:09,931 --> 00:07:11,379
In a small town in America.
208
00:07:11,379 --> 00:07:12,310
Yeah.
209
00:07:12,310 --> 00:07:13,413
You were passing a store.
210
00:07:13,413 --> 00:07:14,482
So. In Connecti. In Connecti.
211
00:07:14,482 --> 00:07:15,310
Connecti.
212
00:07:15,310 --> 00:07:17,000
I don't say cut.
213
00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:19,344
God no, cause cut is
harsh and very violent.
214
00:07:19,344 --> 00:07:21,689
But we definitely
saw you in our thing,
215
00:07:21,689 --> 00:07:23,034
and you know.
216
00:07:23,034 --> 00:07:25,344
Uh, that. That's
interesting. That's weird.
217
00:07:25,344 --> 00:07:27,551
I guess it's just like,
therapists need therapy.
218
00:07:27,551 --> 00:07:28,931
Mm-hmm.
219
00:07:28,931 --> 00:07:29,862
So I just invented
that and I like it.
220
00:07:29,862 --> 00:07:30,793
Have you met a more brilliant,
221
00:07:30,793 --> 00:07:31,586
a more brilliant, more sexy.
222
00:07:31,586 --> 00:07:32,827
So help us. Help!
223
00:07:32,827 --> 00:07:33,965
sweet, sweet fellow?
224
00:07:33,965 --> 00:07:34,793
Thank you.
225
00:07:35,724 --> 00:07:38,034
Now, are you too a couple?
226
00:07:38,034 --> 00:07:38,896
A couple?
227
00:07:38,896 --> 00:07:40,103
No, no we are not.
228
00:07:40,103 --> 00:07:41,034
No, not right now
we're not. Okay?
229
00:07:41,034 --> 00:07:42,000
No. No, we're not right now.
230
00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:42,827
Let's just be clear we're not.
231
00:07:42,827 --> 00:07:43,655
We were.
232
00:07:43,655 --> 00:07:45,103
Agreed.
233
00:07:45,103 --> 00:07:47,931
We used to be. We were and
have someone hoards his sweat.
234
00:07:47,931 --> 00:07:49,724
And someone keeps
their toenail clippings
235
00:07:49,724 --> 00:07:51,000
in a tiny little jar.
236
00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:51,827
Okay.
237
00:07:51,827 --> 00:07:53,310
So anyway, I was raised,
238
00:07:53,310 --> 00:07:54,931
my father made us live in a
sand castle for the first five
239
00:07:54,931 --> 00:07:58,896
years of my life. So I have
a lot of abandonment issues.
240
00:07:58,896 --> 00:08:01,965
How do you, how did you
get on that TV show?
241
00:08:01,965 --> 00:08:03,275
It was an early thing.
242
00:08:03,275 --> 00:08:04,862
Good morning USA.
243
00:08:04,862 --> 00:08:05,689
Whatever, sure.
244
00:08:05,689 --> 00:08:06,620
Sure, if you say so.
245
00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:07,413
So that's, you know, yeah.
246
00:08:07,413 --> 00:08:09,206
And we were just like
247
00:08:09,206 --> 00:08:10,482
Yeah, we were like,
we could do that.
248
00:08:10,482 --> 00:08:12,758
We could do that. Why
can't, why her not us?
249
00:08:12,758 --> 00:08:13,689
Yeah, I know.
It's kind of weird.
250
00:08:13,689 --> 00:08:14,862
It's like you watch things and
251
00:08:14,862 --> 00:08:16,172
immediately a light
bulb went off.
252
00:08:16,172 --> 00:08:17,448
Right?
253
00:08:17,448 --> 00:08:18,448
Cause it's like, we
were like, that's us.
254
00:08:18,448 --> 00:08:19,620
That's what we should be doing
255
00:08:19,620 --> 00:08:20,793
and why is she
getting to do that?
256
00:08:20,793 --> 00:08:22,206
Sounds like me
watching pornography.
257
00:08:22,206 --> 00:08:25,000
I could do that. Or
how come that's not me?
258
00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:26,517
You know what,
259
00:08:26,517 --> 00:08:29,689
but I had a dream the other
night that we were on TV.
260
00:08:29,689 --> 00:08:30,620
See? So
261
00:08:30,620 --> 00:08:31,586
Um, and that was the dream.
262
00:08:31,586 --> 00:08:32,517
And if I don't follow my dreams,
263
00:08:32,517 --> 00:08:34,931
I get very bad indigestion.
264
00:08:34,931 --> 00:08:36,448
Do you have a number
you call to just say
265
00:08:36,448 --> 00:08:37,862
I'd like to be on
TV or is it like a
266
00:08:37,862 --> 00:08:41,103
I'm a psychotherapist.
I'm not a producer.
267
00:08:41,103 --> 00:08:44,172
You know, they
just contacted me.
268
00:08:44,172 --> 00:08:46,103
They were looking
for therapists.
269
00:08:46,103 --> 00:08:46,965
That's good.
270
00:08:46,965 --> 00:08:47,793
Is that vodka?
271
00:08:47,793 --> 00:08:48,724
Yeah, or tequila.
272
00:08:48,724 --> 00:08:49,517
You giving out samples?
273
00:08:49,517 --> 00:08:50,793
I don't have a cup.
274
00:08:50,793 --> 00:08:52,310
We have a mouth.
275
00:08:52,310 --> 00:08:54,000
Just traded in my salt.
276
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:54,862
Yeah. Just
277
00:08:54,862 --> 00:08:56,068
Salt
278
00:08:56,068 --> 00:08:57,310
Water the salt.
They'll love it.
279
00:08:57,310 --> 00:08:59,068
I don't know any of these terms.
280
00:08:59,068 --> 00:09:00,379
Barely drink, I hate it.
281
00:09:00,379 --> 00:09:01,482
But in my, at all,
282
00:09:02,310 --> 00:09:03,655
but in my, um. In my
283
00:09:04,827 --> 00:09:06,655
dream, I definitely
the word agent
284
00:09:08,206 --> 00:09:09,689
agent came up.
285
00:09:09,689 --> 00:09:11,517
Do you know what that means?
And can you get us one?
286
00:09:11,517 --> 00:09:12,689
Okay. You guys,
287
00:09:12,689 --> 00:09:14,655
I see what's going on here.
288
00:09:14,655 --> 00:09:15,793
Well, we're helping.
289
00:09:15,793 --> 00:09:17,172
You're therapist. I hope so.
290
00:09:17,172 --> 00:09:20,344
And you are passionate
about what you do.
291
00:09:20,344 --> 00:09:21,172
Thank you.
292
00:09:21,172 --> 00:09:23,482
You wanna help as many
293
00:09:23,482 --> 00:09:24,310
It's okay.
294
00:09:24,310 --> 00:09:25,137
It's alright.
295
00:09:25,137 --> 00:09:26,137
Someone just saw me.
296
00:09:26,137 --> 00:09:27,000
You saw me.
297
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,344
I see you.
298
00:09:28,344 --> 00:09:32,068
Oh, okay. Not
listening but I'm seeing.
299
00:09:32,068 --> 00:09:32,931
Now, listen.
300
00:09:32,931 --> 00:09:33,758
That was weird.
301
00:09:33,758 --> 00:09:35,000
Yeah.
302
00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:36,000
You are passionate
about what you do.
303
00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:36,931
Thank you.
304
00:09:36,931 --> 00:09:37,655
You love healing people.
305
00:09:37,655 --> 00:09:38,586
Absolutely.
306
00:09:38,586 --> 00:09:39,517
You love helping people.
307
00:09:39,517 --> 00:09:41,379
And when you saw me on TV,
308
00:09:41,379 --> 00:09:45,827
you immediately thought
I could help more people.
309
00:09:45,827 --> 00:09:46,655
Yes.
310
00:09:46,655 --> 00:09:47,482
using this.
311
00:09:47,482 --> 00:09:48,413
Sure.
312
00:09:48,413 --> 00:09:49,620
I have to burst your bubble.
313
00:09:49,620 --> 00:09:51,827
I have nothing to do
with that. Like I said,
314
00:09:51,827 --> 00:09:53,448
the phone just rang.
315
00:09:53,448 --> 00:09:58,000
I said yes because that was,
I was, have you done yes week?
316
00:09:58,000 --> 00:09:59,517
Is that peyote?
317
00:09:59,517 --> 00:10:00,344
No.
318
00:10:00,344 --> 00:10:01,275
Oh.
319
00:10:01,275 --> 00:10:02,758
Yes week is where for one week
320
00:10:02,758 --> 00:10:04,586
you just say yes to everything.
321
00:10:04,586 --> 00:10:05,413
Yes. I'll be able to
322
00:10:05,413 --> 00:10:07,034
I've done yes life.
323
00:10:07,034 --> 00:10:08,896
Yeah. That's true.
324
00:10:08,896 --> 00:10:11,103
I had my first
lesbian experience.
325
00:10:11,103 --> 00:10:15,413
That's when the producers
of Good Morning USA called.
326
00:10:15,413 --> 00:10:17,206
I ate blowfish.
327
00:10:17,206 --> 00:10:18,137
I need to take notes.
328
00:10:18,137 --> 00:10:19,068
Yeah.
329
00:10:19,068 --> 00:10:20,310
If I only knew how to write.
330
00:10:20,310 --> 00:10:21,344
I got it, I got it,
I got it, I got it.
331
00:10:21,344 --> 00:10:22,620
I'm gonna do my
332
00:10:22,620 --> 00:10:23,793
But here's my thing, I
wish I could help you
333
00:10:23,793 --> 00:10:25,034
Blowfish, lesbian.
334
00:10:25,034 --> 00:10:26,827
Blow a fish and eat a
lesbian is what I heard.
335
00:10:26,827 --> 00:10:27,758
Get on TV.
336
00:10:27,758 --> 00:10:29,000
Yeah.
337
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:30,448
If there's like
a number we could,
338
00:10:30,448 --> 00:10:31,965
it'd be great if you
could like call a number .
339
00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:32,793
A contact.
340
00:10:32,793 --> 00:10:33,655
A person.
341
00:10:33,655 --> 00:10:34,896
An agent.
342
00:10:34,896 --> 00:10:37,517
Look, I will do
anything with my body.
343
00:10:37,517 --> 00:10:38,827
Um, I
344
00:10:39,896 --> 00:10:40,862
wasn't done, but
345
00:10:40,862 --> 00:10:43,068
Won't say sin. Won't say cut.
346
00:10:43,068 --> 00:10:46,310
You're not a couple
anymore, but you used to be
347
00:10:46,310 --> 00:10:47,137
Fingers crossed.
348
00:10:47,137 --> 00:10:49,068
You hoard your sweat?
349
00:10:49,068 --> 00:10:50,758
Nope.
350
00:10:50,758 --> 00:10:51,724
You hoard your sweat.
351
00:10:51,724 --> 00:10:53,310
I hold my toenails in a jar.
352
00:10:53,310 --> 00:10:55,379
Okay, maybe you
should switch seats.
353
00:10:55,379 --> 00:10:57,862
Anyway. I'm kidding.
354
00:10:57,862 --> 00:11:00,793
It's hard to tell
cause it's never funny.
355
00:11:00,793 --> 00:11:02,793
This is a coaster and
356
00:11:02,793 --> 00:11:04,482
Oh. That's where
I draw a line.
357
00:11:04,482 --> 00:11:06,000
That's where I draw a line.
358
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:07,000
Wow. That's where you stop
looking at your notes and you
359
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,620
Here's where I draw the line.
360
00:11:08,620 --> 00:11:09,827
Okay.
361
00:11:09,827 --> 00:11:11,034
Oh, you're a very
literal person.
362
00:11:11,034 --> 00:11:11,862
Okay, alright, so
she just, what she did
363
00:11:11,862 --> 00:11:13,827
was that she judged.
364
00:11:13,827 --> 00:11:14,655
She shattered.
365
00:11:14,655 --> 00:11:16,068
And she shattered.
366
00:11:16,068 --> 00:11:18,068
Well, then I'd be
Judge Jackie, wouldn't I.
367
00:11:18,068 --> 00:11:19,344
And I'm not Judge Jackie.
368
00:11:19,344 --> 00:11:20,551
I'm
369
00:11:20,551 --> 00:11:22,000
Give it to me.
Give it to me. I'm
370
00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:23,689
It fell off.
371
00:11:23,689 --> 00:11:24,517
Okay.
372
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:25,344
This is me right now
373
00:11:25,344 --> 00:11:26,586
Person. Very
374
00:11:26,586 --> 00:11:28,241
I feel like I've
got nothing to give.
375
00:11:28,241 --> 00:11:30,586
No, can I just really get
real with you for a minute?
376
00:11:30,586 --> 00:11:32,068
Please, please.
377
00:11:32,068 --> 00:11:33,896
I think it's time to look in
the mirror and admit that the
378
00:11:33,896 --> 00:11:36,310
only fuckin' reason
you came here
379
00:11:36,310 --> 00:11:38,724
was to get on Good Morning USA.
380
00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:41,068
You are funny.
381
00:11:41,068 --> 00:11:42,862
Now come on, you guys.
382
00:11:42,862 --> 00:11:44,551
Truth with a capital T.
383
00:11:44,551 --> 00:11:47,034
If there's anything you
could do to get us on there,
384
00:11:47,034 --> 00:11:48,310
that would be great.
385
00:11:48,310 --> 00:11:50,137
Alright. You guys,
we're out of time.
386
00:11:50,137 --> 00:11:52,551
This has been enlightening.
387
00:11:52,551 --> 00:11:53,965
It's fake!
388
00:11:53,965 --> 00:11:55,827
Like some other
people in this room
389
00:11:55,827 --> 00:11:57,689
who won't help other
people who just need it.
390
00:11:57,689 --> 00:11:58,517
Yeah. Get it,
somebody's famous.
391
00:11:58,517 --> 00:11:59,413
Guess what?
392
00:11:59,413 --> 00:12:00,172
Somebody's
393
00:12:00,172 --> 00:12:01,413
Guess what?
394
00:12:01,413 --> 00:12:03,827
My toenails are in the
city dump right now.
395
00:12:03,827 --> 00:12:04,655
Yeah.
396
00:12:06,344 --> 00:12:07,448
You guys, you guys, you guys
397
00:12:07,448 --> 00:12:08,689
What?
398
00:12:08,689 --> 00:12:10,620
I'm messing with you.
399
00:12:11,689 --> 00:12:13,586
Here's the business card of the
400
00:12:13,586 --> 00:12:16,448
producer of Good Morning USA.
401
00:12:16,448 --> 00:12:17,758
Bye, Felicia.
402
00:12:18,724 --> 00:12:20,862
Get it and memorize it.
403
00:12:20,862 --> 00:12:21,931
I love winning!
404
00:12:21,931 --> 00:12:23,241
You're horrible people,
405
00:12:23,241 --> 00:12:26,103
but you're gonna make great TV.
406
00:12:26,103 --> 00:12:27,793
Oh my
407
00:12:27,793 --> 00:12:29,241
Freaks.
408
00:12:29,241 --> 00:12:30,517
Fucking freaks.
409
00:12:33,034 --> 00:12:35,758
Why can't everybody
be normal like me?
410
00:12:41,551 --> 00:12:43,000
Dr. Jackie here.
411
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:44,482
Hi, Dr. Jackie.
412
00:12:44,482 --> 00:12:46,793
It's me, Cassandra Peterson.
413
00:12:46,793 --> 00:12:47,758
Hey, honey.
414
00:12:47,758 --> 00:12:48,862
I have kind of an emergency.
415
00:12:48,862 --> 00:12:49,689
You know, I
416
00:12:49,689 --> 00:12:50,896
Oh!
417
00:12:50,896 --> 00:12:52,172
I'm running
around the country,
418
00:12:52,172 --> 00:12:54,413
you know, trying to
promote my new book.
419
00:12:54,413 --> 00:12:55,965
Yours cruelly, Elvira.
420
00:12:55,965 --> 00:12:56,793
Oh yeah. I read it.
421
00:12:56,793 --> 00:12:58,241
It's real juicy.
422
00:12:58,241 --> 00:13:00,793
Yours cruelly, by Elvira.
You should read it.
423
00:13:00,793 --> 00:13:03,137
Anyway, I have this
thing that keeps happening.
424
00:13:03,137 --> 00:13:06,310
All these guys keeps
sending me pictures.
425
00:13:06,310 --> 00:13:07,551
Oh.
426
00:13:07,551 --> 00:13:10,586
They're pictures of
them dressed as Elvira.
427
00:13:10,586 --> 00:13:12,206
They all look better than me.
428
00:13:12,206 --> 00:13:16,206
And that's getting to be
really, really depressing.
429
00:13:16,206 --> 00:13:19,206
So we're talking about
drag queens here. Am I right?
430
00:13:19,206 --> 00:13:20,862
Which is also fine.
431
00:13:20,862 --> 00:13:22,931
We're talking about men
432
00:13:22,931 --> 00:13:25,827
who put on tons of garish makeup
433
00:13:25,827 --> 00:13:30,068
and plop synthetic, fake
looking wigs on their head
434
00:13:31,068 --> 00:13:33,310
and you know, prance around?
435
00:13:33,310 --> 00:13:34,586
Um
436
00:13:34,586 --> 00:13:37,137
Don't let a bunch of
drag queens, you know,
437
00:13:37,137 --> 00:13:38,862
make you feel less than.
438
00:13:38,862 --> 00:13:41,862
I, I just thought maybe
you have some advice for me.
439
00:13:41,862 --> 00:13:44,206
You are the real deal.
440
00:13:44,206 --> 00:13:47,103
You are fucking gorgeous.
441
00:13:47,103 --> 00:13:49,551
Okay? Are you listening to
me? Are you hearing this?
442
00:13:51,068 --> 00:13:54,241
There's only one Elvira,
and it's you bitch.
443
00:13:54,241 --> 00:13:56,724
Thank you, Dr. Jackie,
that really helps.
444
00:13:56,724 --> 00:13:58,000
Alright. Glad to hear it.
445
00:13:58,000 --> 00:13:58,862
You are brilliant.
446
00:13:58,862 --> 00:14:00,068
Okay. Bye-bye.
447
00:14:04,413 --> 00:14:06,241
I can't believe Elvira
448
00:14:08,344 --> 00:14:10,103
is one of my clients.
449
00:14:11,793 --> 00:14:13,103
Hashtag blessed.
450
00:14:16,517 --> 00:14:19,551
I guess you're probably
wondering why I
wanted to speak with
451
00:14:19,551 --> 00:14:20,896
you this morning.
452
00:14:20,896 --> 00:14:22,000
I'm getting fired.
453
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:22,827
No.
454
00:14:22,827 --> 00:14:23,793
I'm getting a raise?
455
00:14:23,793 --> 00:14:25,000
Ha, no.
456
00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:26,241
I give up. Why?
457
00:14:26,241 --> 00:14:28,068
Well, it's the
first of the month
458
00:14:28,068 --> 00:14:32,931
so I read everything that's
in the employee suggestion box
459
00:14:32,931 --> 00:14:35,586
and I must say, I am not amused.
460
00:14:37,103 --> 00:14:38,724
What do you mean?
461
00:14:39,758 --> 00:14:41,586
Give Sherry a raise.
462
00:14:43,517 --> 00:14:45,517
Hey, how about a
four day work week
463
00:14:45,517 --> 00:14:48,137
like they do in Japan?
464
00:14:48,137 --> 00:14:49,482
Fire Dr. Jackie.
465
00:14:51,206 --> 00:14:52,862
You wrote all these, didn't you?
466
00:14:52,862 --> 00:14:54,379
No!
467
00:14:54,379 --> 00:14:57,172
Sherry, we are the only
two people who work here.
468
00:14:57,172 --> 00:14:58,724
Maybe you wrote them.
469
00:14:58,724 --> 00:15:01,344
They are all in
your handwriting.
470
00:15:01,344 --> 00:15:04,448
No, they're not. I did
it with my left hand.
471
00:15:04,448 --> 00:15:07,413
Fill the water
cooler with Chardonnay,
472
00:15:07,413 --> 00:15:10,310
get a subscription
to People Magazine.
473
00:15:10,310 --> 00:15:12,827
Adopt an office puppy?
474
00:15:12,827 --> 00:15:16,172
Come on. You have to
admit those are great ideas.
475
00:15:16,172 --> 00:15:19,000
This is a place of business,
476
00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:21,000
not an amusement park, Sherry.
477
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:23,137
Despite the way you dress.
478
00:15:24,068 --> 00:15:26,448
Whatever, you're the boss.
479
00:15:26,448 --> 00:15:27,413
Sherry?
480
00:15:27,413 --> 00:15:29,310
Yes, Dr. Jackie?
481
00:15:29,310 --> 00:15:33,172
Do you notice
anything about my desk?
482
00:15:33,172 --> 00:15:35,931
Oh, there. One
suggestion left.
483
00:15:38,034 --> 00:15:40,034
Why don't you read it?
484
00:15:42,310 --> 00:15:44,310
Are you serious?
485
00:15:44,310 --> 00:15:46,172
We're getting a
frozen yogurt machine?
486
00:15:46,172 --> 00:15:47,379
Uh-huh.
487
00:15:47,379 --> 00:15:49,172
We're getting a
frozen yogurt machine!
488
00:15:49,172 --> 00:15:50,000
Yes!
489
00:15:51,137 --> 00:15:54,413
We're getting a
frozen yogurt machine!
490
00:15:57,896 --> 00:16:00,896
Hello, I'm Dr.
Jackie, and you are?
491
00:16:01,827 --> 00:16:03,000
I'm Dorothy.
492
00:16:03,931 --> 00:16:04,862
Dorothy.
493
00:16:04,862 --> 00:16:06,931
It's pronounced Dorothy.
494
00:16:07,793 --> 00:16:09,275
Three syllables.
495
00:16:09,275 --> 00:16:10,206
Alright.
496
00:16:10,206 --> 00:16:11,827
They're very important.
497
00:16:11,827 --> 00:16:13,862
Dorothy.
498
00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:19,137
So it's our very
first session together,
499
00:16:19,137 --> 00:16:20,310
so why don't we start out by
500
00:16:20,310 --> 00:16:21,965
you telling me a little
bit about yourself
501
00:16:21,965 --> 00:16:23,413
and why you're here today?
502
00:16:23,413 --> 00:16:27,620
Well, quite frankly,
I'm a little embarrassed.
503
00:16:27,620 --> 00:16:31,379
Me, sitting here with such
small, demure shoulders.
504
00:16:31,379 --> 00:16:32,206
What are you
505
00:16:32,206 --> 00:16:33,206
Pardon me.
506
00:16:33,206 --> 00:16:35,413
Adding shoulder pads?
507
00:16:35,413 --> 00:16:37,896
I'd feel more comfortable.
You don't mind do you?
508
00:16:37,896 --> 00:16:41,172
Not at all. Whatever makes
you feel more comfortable.
509
00:16:41,172 --> 00:16:42,000
Thank you
510
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:43,517
Is, uh
511
00:16:43,517 --> 00:16:47,586
Anyway, Doctor, therapy has
never really been my thing.
512
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:50,034
Right.
513
00:16:50,034 --> 00:16:51,413
Tell me about yourself.
514
00:16:51,413 --> 00:16:53,137
Well, I'm divorced,
515
00:16:54,448 --> 00:16:56,379
I live in Miami,
516
00:16:56,379 --> 00:16:58,931
I'm a substitute teacher
517
00:16:58,931 --> 00:17:01,448
and I have three roommates.
518
00:17:01,448 --> 00:17:03,931
Doctor, is this a safe space?
519
00:17:03,931 --> 00:17:05,862
Of course it is. You
can tell me anything.
520
00:17:05,862 --> 00:17:08,931
Can I speak to you frankly?
521
00:17:08,931 --> 00:17:10,137
Honestly?
522
00:17:10,137 --> 00:17:11,000
Please.
523
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:12,448
Alright.
524
00:17:12,448 --> 00:17:14,827
That's the only way
we're gonna get anywhere.
525
00:17:14,827 --> 00:17:17,034
My roommates are
driving me crazy.
526
00:17:17,034 --> 00:17:18,310
What's going on?
527
00:17:18,310 --> 00:17:20,413
Oh God. Where do I start?
528
00:17:20,413 --> 00:17:23,689
Well, there's my first
roommate, Blanche.
529
00:17:23,689 --> 00:17:24,517
Blanche
530
00:17:24,517 --> 00:17:26,068
No last names please.
531
00:17:26,068 --> 00:17:27,517
Oh,
532
00:17:27,517 --> 00:17:31,586
because we wanna keep this
patient-doctor confidentiality.
533
00:17:31,586 --> 00:17:33,758
Actually it's
for legal purposes.
534
00:17:33,758 --> 00:17:36,689
We're already pushing it
by calling you Dorothy and
535
00:17:36,689 --> 00:17:37,517
nevermind.
536
00:17:38,862 --> 00:17:40,379
Tell me about Blanche.
537
00:17:40,379 --> 00:17:43,655
I wanna be as
sensitive as I can here.
538
00:17:43,655 --> 00:17:44,862
Um, she's, uh
539
00:17:44,862 --> 00:17:45,965
she's a slut!
540
00:17:47,103 --> 00:17:49,482
The men that she has
had coming in and out
541
00:17:49,482 --> 00:17:51,586
of this house in Miami.
542
00:17:51,586 --> 00:17:53,068
I mean, seriously,
543
00:17:53,068 --> 00:17:56,827
she once went on a date
with my ex-husband Stanley,
544
00:17:56,827 --> 00:17:58,689
if you can believe that.
545
00:17:58,689 --> 00:18:02,241
I once walked in on this woman
having a train run on her
546
00:18:02,241 --> 00:18:05,758
from the entire cast
of Fiddler on the Roof
547
00:18:05,758 --> 00:18:07,758
for the Burt Reynolds
Dinner Theater.
548
00:18:07,758 --> 00:18:08,586
Oh, one.
549
00:18:11,241 --> 00:18:12,241
Yeah, Deary, could
you tell me what
550
00:18:12,241 --> 00:18:14,310
"run a train" means?
551
00:18:14,310 --> 00:18:16,931
"Run a train" is
a euphemism for a gangbang.
552
00:18:16,931 --> 00:18:18,379
Oh, well that's terrible!
553
00:18:19,620 --> 00:18:22,137
It sounds like this
woman has no boundaries.
554
00:18:22,137 --> 00:18:23,655
Right?
555
00:18:23,655 --> 00:18:25,931
She's not respecting
you as a roommate.
556
00:18:25,931 --> 00:18:27,103
Not at all.
557
00:18:27,103 --> 00:18:29,586
Now you said you
had several roommates.
558
00:18:29,586 --> 00:18:30,620
Who's the other one?
559
00:18:30,620 --> 00:18:32,206
Her name is Rose.
560
00:18:33,724 --> 00:18:35,793
How do I put this gently?
561
00:18:36,793 --> 00:18:37,724
Rose is,
562
00:18:37,724 --> 00:18:39,724
she marches to the beat of
563
00:18:39,724 --> 00:18:40,862
Well,
564
00:18:40,862 --> 00:18:41,827
Rose is,
565
00:18:41,827 --> 00:18:43,068
she's an idiot.
566
00:18:44,103 --> 00:18:45,517
My God.
567
00:18:45,517 --> 00:18:46,862
She's so stupid.
568
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:50,344
And honestly I never
really liked her.
569
00:18:50,344 --> 00:18:54,482
Now, Rose is supposed to be
the fun one, the innocent one,
570
00:18:54,482 --> 00:18:57,137
but that's not how it really is.
571
00:18:57,137 --> 00:19:01,206
The truth is Rose has been
addicted to pain pills and she's
572
00:19:01,206 --> 00:19:03,551
killed not one, but two men.
573
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:05,827
How?
574
00:19:05,827 --> 00:19:07,517
By sleeping with them.
575
00:19:07,517 --> 00:19:08,448
Oh.
576
00:19:08,448 --> 00:19:10,827
It's almost unbelievable.
577
00:19:10,827 --> 00:19:12,965
It's like a house
full of sluts.
578
00:19:12,965 --> 00:19:13,862
Yes.
579
00:19:13,862 --> 00:19:15,344
Well, except me.
580
00:19:15,344 --> 00:19:18,620
Oh, is that something you
might want to talk about?
581
00:19:18,620 --> 00:19:20,000
I wish.
582
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:21,413
You wish you were a slut?
583
00:19:21,413 --> 00:19:24,517
Oh, I wish I was getting
any dick whatsoever.
584
00:19:24,517 --> 00:19:26,931
Blanche and Rose. Are
those your only roommates?
585
00:19:26,931 --> 00:19:27,758
No.
586
00:19:27,758 --> 00:19:28,965
Get this.
587
00:19:28,965 --> 00:19:31,793
My mother moved
into the house. Oh,
588
00:19:31,793 --> 00:19:33,310
What?
589
00:19:33,310 --> 00:19:37,000
My God. Oh God, you see her
retirement home burned down.
590
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:39,413
It was a very nice
retirement village.
591
00:19:39,413 --> 00:19:40,241
Sha-
592
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:45,206
Not sunny, evergreen trees.
593
00:19:46,206 --> 00:19:47,068
Hm.
594
00:19:47,068 --> 00:19:48,551
Yeah.
595
00:19:48,551 --> 00:19:49,620
So she moved in with
you after it burned down?
596
00:19:49,620 --> 00:19:51,413
Oh, she did.
597
00:19:51,413 --> 00:19:52,758
My mother's horrible.
598
00:19:52,758 --> 00:19:55,758
She's the source of all
of my problems, Doctor.
599
00:19:55,758 --> 00:19:57,689
Well, that's one
of my famous phrases.
600
00:19:57,689 --> 00:19:59,551
"When in doubt,
blame the mother."
601
00:19:59,551 --> 00:20:03,620
Well, it's really
accurate in this case.
602
00:20:03,620 --> 00:20:06,689
But, Doctor, I don't want
you to get the wrong idea.
603
00:20:06,689 --> 00:20:11,689
You know, the girls: Rose,
Blanche; my mother, Sophia.
604
00:20:12,551 --> 00:20:13,965
We may have our differences.
605
00:20:13,965 --> 00:20:15,827
We may have our ups and downs,
606
00:20:15,827 --> 00:20:18,413
but at the end of every episode,
607
00:20:18,413 --> 00:20:23,068
we come together and find a
common ground and realize we're
608
00:20:23,068 --> 00:20:24,241
chosen family.
609
00:20:25,413 --> 00:20:27,620
Did you say episode?
610
00:20:27,620 --> 00:20:28,586
What?
611
00:20:28,586 --> 00:20:30,413
At the end of every episode.
612
00:20:30,413 --> 00:20:33,413
I'm not sure what you're
talking about, Doctor.
613
00:20:33,413 --> 00:20:36,172
I think that's a very
interesting way to phrase it.
614
00:20:36,172 --> 00:20:39,241
And something's been bothering
me as you were talking about
615
00:20:39,241 --> 00:20:41,758
your roommates and your life and
616
00:20:41,758 --> 00:20:43,034
Not enough shoulder pads?
617
00:20:43,034 --> 00:20:45,655
No, more than
enough shoulder pads.
618
00:20:45,655 --> 00:20:47,448
Very self-conscious.
619
00:20:48,379 --> 00:20:49,758
Sasquatch chic.
620
00:20:51,068 --> 00:20:53,172
You know, when you were
talking about your life
621
00:20:53,172 --> 00:20:55,310
and specifically your roommates,
622
00:20:55,310 --> 00:20:58,275
there was something that I
couldn't put my finger on,
623
00:20:58,275 --> 00:21:01,448
but it seemed very
familiar to me.
624
00:21:01,448 --> 00:21:03,724
And then when you said episode,
625
00:21:03,724 --> 00:21:05,827
it hit me like a ton of bricks.
626
00:21:05,827 --> 00:21:07,413
There is a television program,
627
00:21:07,413 --> 00:21:10,310
a beloved sitcom
from the eighties,
628
00:21:11,758 --> 00:21:14,689
about four older women who
lived together in Miami.
629
00:21:14,689 --> 00:21:17,206
I can't say the title
for legal reasons,
630
00:21:17,206 --> 00:21:19,034
but let's just call it
631
00:21:19,931 --> 00:21:20,758
The Gilded Gals.
632
00:21:22,689 --> 00:21:26,172
I feel like you are
the character Dorothy,
633
00:21:27,793 --> 00:21:31,689
from that television show and
the people you're describing
634
00:21:31,689 --> 00:21:34,172
are characters from that show.
635
00:21:37,827 --> 00:21:40,379
Doctor, you're
absolutely right.
636
00:21:40,379 --> 00:21:43,344
Oh, I can't believe
it I've been so blind.
637
00:21:43,344 --> 00:21:46,344
I just don't understand what's
going on in your real life,
638
00:21:46,344 --> 00:21:51,000
where being a 50-something
year old unattractive, manly,
639
00:21:53,068 --> 00:21:56,724
shoulder-padded, divorced
substitute teacher
640
00:21:57,827 --> 00:22:00,655
is better than being yourself.
641
00:22:00,655 --> 00:22:02,586
Oh, I feel like such a fool.
642
00:22:02,586 --> 00:22:04,793
You're trying to escape
from your real life.
643
00:22:04,793 --> 00:22:05,827
Yes. Yes.
644
00:22:05,827 --> 00:22:07,241
You're right.
645
00:22:07,241 --> 00:22:09,517
So I guess the question is,
646
00:22:09,517 --> 00:22:12,862
are you ready to be
your authentic self?
647
00:22:14,586 --> 00:22:16,413
Yes. Yes I am.
648
00:22:16,413 --> 00:22:21,310
Are you ready to be courageous
and brave and not only pull
649
00:22:21,310 --> 00:22:24,931
down this emotional wall
that you're putting up,
650
00:22:24,931 --> 00:22:27,137
but also pull off that wig?
651
00:22:28,551 --> 00:22:33,172
That horrible wig and maybe
pull off that hideous outfit and
652
00:22:34,517 --> 00:22:36,793
those chunky eighties earrings.
653
00:22:36,793 --> 00:22:38,275
All right. I get it.
654
00:22:38,275 --> 00:22:40,482
All of it has to go.
655
00:22:40,482 --> 00:22:41,310
Okay.
656
00:22:42,172 --> 00:22:45,517
All right, here we go, Doctor.
657
00:22:45,517 --> 00:22:47,896
I'm with you. You can do this.
658
00:22:47,896 --> 00:22:51,137
I can't wait to
meet the real you.
659
00:22:56,793 --> 00:22:58,482
Hi, what's your name?
660
00:22:59,448 --> 00:23:00,275
Hi.
661
00:23:00,275 --> 00:23:02,206
My name is Carrie.
662
00:23:02,206 --> 00:23:04,827
I'm a newspaper columnist
from New York city and I love
663
00:23:04,827 --> 00:23:06,620
hanging out with
my close friends,
664
00:23:06,620 --> 00:23:09,724
Samantha, Charlotte
and Miranda. You see
665
00:23:11,517 --> 00:23:13,000
And just like that,
666
00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:17,551
I helped get another person
separate reality from fantasy.
42197
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