All language subtitles for Corner Gas - 3x17 - Telescope Trouble

Hey, Brent.
Wanna try somethin' new?

Cool, little packages.

It's like astronaut food.

It's coffee flavour,
for your coffee.

But coffee already tastes
like coffee, like a lot.

No, it's not the
flavour ofcoffee.

It's to flavour your coffee.

You put it in your coffee for
a burst of authentic flavour.

Irish Cream.
What's in Irish Cream anyway?

It's booze.
There's booze in here?

No.

So it's fake?

Yes.

But authentic.

I tried one.
I liked it.

Kinda fruity.

It's becse it's jam, Oscar.

How are things at NASA?

You can tell me tt
your dog ran away

Then tell me that it
took three days

I've heard every joke,
I've heard every one you say

You think there's
not a lot goin' on

Look closer, Baby,
you're so wrong

And that's why you can
stay so long

Where there's not a lot
goin' on

If the door's broken, you
should take care of it, Brent.

I've been working
on it all morning.

There.

Way to throw yourself
at the problem.

Well, I shoulda probably got
Wanda to make the sign, but I...

You're an overachiever.

Yeah. Well, I've been
at this a while.

My sign allows the customer to
enter with complete safety.

It's all about the customer.

HeHey, what's that?

Ooh!

That doesn't count.
He's not a customer.

Yeah, more of
victim, really.

You wanna sue?
I'll be a witness.

My sign isn't workin'.
I don't know what I'm gonna do.

Just fix the door.
It's a safety issue.

Oh, here we go.

Big Daddy Government makin' it
hard on the little guy.

I like that.
I'm Big Daddy Government.

Ah, it's quite a quandary.
Don't know what I'm gonna do.

Hey, I've got an idea.

Fix the door.

Quandary solved.

I can't put my business
on hold to fix a door.

I've gotta keep the wheel
of commerce greased.

You don't know how
to fix it, do ya?

I could figure it out,
probably, eventually.

Quandary's back.

You should call my door guy.

You have a door guy?

Terry. Oh, he's great.

He comes, he fixes the door.

"I fix doors. "

I'm confused. What's he do?

Oh, fine. Suit yourself.

But as a business owner,
I find that if people

can't get into your business,
it really cuts down on business.

Yeah, it hurts that big
greasy commerce wheel.

Well, I'm not hiring a guy.
I can do it myself.

Ah! Geez, my leg,
it's so painful.

Brent, you gotta buy me a
coffee for compensation.

You got this Jerry
guy's number?

You'll love it.

Pulling up your roots,
travelling around.

My dad had a great time.

If it's so fun, how come
he's not doin' it now?

He's dead.

Did he die in the RV?
'Cause then I want a discount.

Look, take it for a week. If
you don't like it, I'll give
you the money y back.

Sounds good.

Did he die in the RV or not?
Don't change the subject.

Pay the man.

Careful. Right through here.

Oh, ow!

Watch the door. Thanks.

Oh, whoa, what's this?

You know my rule against
bazookas in the gas station.

It's my new telescope.

Why do you need
a telescope?

It makes far away
things seem closer.

It's like a magic eye.

Why do you need
a magic eye?

Prokhop meteor shower.

Every 12,000 years the
earth passes through the
Prokhop meteor cloud,

creating hundreds of
noctilucent anomalies.

Will they give off some kinda
ray, create a race of supermen?

Unlikely.

Interest waning.

Look, this only happens
every 12,000 years

and I'm not missing it.

Can this meteor thing only be
viewed inside the gas station?

I'm leaving it here because
my kid would wreck it.

He'd tear it apart
before you could say Copernicus.

Maybe not before I could,
but probably before I would.

It stays here and
it stays safe.

Hey, cool bazooka!

You want to keep it
at the cop shop?

Back it out,
nice and easy.

It's good to get out
on the open road.

Whoa!

It's a big thing, hey?

Kinda clumsy.

You sure you can handle this?

No more smart talk, or
I'll turn this thing right now.

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoop,
whoop, whoop, whoop.

Are you the door guy?

That's right.
What seems to be the problem?

It's the door.

I'm the guy.

Brent, be nice to Terry.

I had to pull some strings.
There's a waiting list.

He's just a door guy.
He's not Copernius.

Who?

Invented meteor clouds.

I think you're
overreacting
about Hank.

I'm being proactive.

Over proacting, then.

I don't think so.
Do you remember my birdbath?

That was a pretty ugly
birdbath, though.

Or my TV?

Thanks for lending me this.

The ugly birdbath
was in the way.

Do you remember what
he did to my car?

Thanks for
lending me this.

Do birds even take baths?

No, not in that thing.
It's pretty ugly.

I can't believe you're lettin'
this guy fix your door for ya.

It takes away
your masculinity.

You've taped every episode
of The Powerpuff Girls.

It's a good show.

I'm missing three episodes.

Oh, come on.

Brent asking for help does not
take away from his masculinity.

Yeah.

It shows he's mature enough
to subordinate himself

to another
more capable man.

Where does that come from?
Who's subordinate?

Brent!Yes, sir?

Just as I thought.

It's your door closer.

Yeah, he's reallygood.

He's a genius.
He's like Bacurnius.

Who?

He's big in space.

Ah, great.

Safe from curious
little fingers.

Glad to help.

Don't wanna help anymore,
but glad to help.

Hey, awesome! A big tube!

Actually, it's
a telescope.

Hey, awesome!

Thanks anyways.

It doesn't seem so big now.
This will be a breeze.

Actually, this is
kind of intimidating.

Let's go.
Put the pedal to the metal.

Gimme a minute.

Just hit the gas.

Easy, easy! What's your hurry?

Just let me do this!

Fine.

I'm gonna take a shower.

Beautiful workmanship.

The guy's an artist.

Yeah? Well, art's expensive.
I could have done this myself.

Please. You might
have broken a nail.

I would have soldiered on.

Get your car keys.
We're going to your place.

That's your best pickup line?

Try to fix my own door
and I get emasculated.

Ouch. I told you
it was dangerous.

Metaphorically.

Ah.

Well, this will be safe here.

Shielded by the power of
my intense disinterest.

Hey, check it out, Brent.

There's a table
that folds in there.

I kid you not,
a folding table.

I thought you were
headin' out of town.

Change of plans.

Plug us in.

Unless you need to hire
a guy to do it for ya.

He told me about the door hinge.

I'll manage.

You sure?

Sometimes it's worth a little
money to have a man around.

It's your fault
he's like this.

You two were always
playing with dolls.

GI Joe's not a doll.
He was in the army.

What army lets in
a guy with a beard?

He was undercover.
It was the '70s.

Ow!

Want some help with
that door, Sweetie?

Hey, I got a bone
to pick with you?

What bone?

Why did ya tell Brent
to hire a door fixer?

This seems hard for people
to get their head around,

but because the
door needs fixing.

Yeah. But hiring a guy
takes away his respect.

So?

So... I don't get
much respect.

The respect I do get is
Brent's extra respect,

the crumbs off the table.

You can't take that away.
It's my respect crumbs.

But you've been making fun
of him more than anybody.

That's because it's funny.
But I hate myself for it.

The male ego is
a fragile thing.

Yeah. It's like
a delicate flower,

a rugged, delicate flower.

So you'd rather get hit
in the bum by a door?

That's just physical.

It's better than gettin'
hit on the bum of the mind.

You know, if you folks are lost,
there's maps inside.

No. Here's good.

What about my customers?

Oh, they're not bothering us.
Family comes first.

Are you saying you
want us to leave?

No, no. I could never kick out
my own parents.

I want you to kick out
my parents.

But they raised you
and gave you life.

Use your nightsticks if you
have to. Send a message.

How do you live with yourself?

Can I borrow your nightstick?

No.

They did raise you.

Yeah. And now
it's payback time.

Ow!Hey, Hank.

Man! That thing's a menace.

It's like the
portal of doom.

Excuse the inconvenience
as we grow to serve you better.

Hey, I want to see this
meteor shower thing.

Why does the concept of a
shower suddenly interest you?

Well, it's only
every 12,000 years.

If I miss it now, I might
not get another chance.

Who knows how
long you'll live.

If you eat right,
take your vitamins,

stay outta my face.

Come on, you owe me.

I got injured while you
just stood by and watched.

Every job does have its perks.

Trespassing? Says who?

It was an anonymous
complaint.

Don't make this get ugly.

Why are you
hoing a ruler?

Your door guy sucks.
What?

I've had the thing less than
four hours, it's already busted.

I should fix it myself.
Oh, no, no.

You'll void the warranty
and Terry won't service it.

Plus, you would hurt
your delicate hands.

Delicate?
What are you t talkin' about?

Look at that paw,
look at that mitt.

That's a workin' man's hand.

Oh, that's soft.

That one is a little girly.
But this one is trouble.

Here's my point. Call Terry,
he'll fix your door.

Counterpoint. I did. He can only
come between 4:00 and 8:00.

Counter-counterpoint.
Wait until 8:00 and
your door will get fixed.

Counter-counter-counter-
counterpoint.

I'm off between 4:00 and 8:00
and kickboxing's on TV.

That was one too
many counters.

But whatever you say,
Girly-Hands.

Hand.

Terrible thing
for a son to do.

Put it all behind you.

We've got the whole
world to explore.

Let's roll.

Here we are.

Oh, no.

No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no.

Let's go.

We should be watchin' this
on the big screen inside.

Like we're gonna see
the door guy from here.

I got a clear
line of sight.

It's perfect.

Like there, his van's
pulling up now.

Or maybe that's a sparrow.

If only we had some kinda bionic
eye that made things bigger.

How's that?

I can read
the ingredients
on the chips.

Oh, wait. Now it looks blurry.

Now it looks angry.

Wow.

Does that ever look
like my telescope.

Oh, except this one's
got two extra knobs.

Don't worry. We'll find
a place where we're welcome.

Damn straight.

Hey, I think I can
handle this now.

Good.

Start 'er up an let's go.

I wonder who ordered
all the trees.

To hell with the door guy.
Now you're talkin'.

You never learn, do ya?

Just fix the door.
I'm missing kickboxing.

Now, this is gonna
require subtlety.

This thing's under warranty. I'm
not supposed to be touching it.

Oo-ooh.

Are you saying I'm whipped
by a warranty?

Just fix it. Guys are kickin'
each other right now.

Guys will be kickin'
each other here

if you don't stop
pestering me.

You wanna step away
from the hinge?

Step away from the hinge!

Ooo-ooh!

Ow!

Cheap son of a...

Hi, Terry.

Lacey.

Ah, a minor problem
with the door.

I'm not surprised. You're not
supposed to fiddle with it.

I didn't fiddle.

I caught your friend fiddling.
And now yours is broken.

I don't know what
kind of fiddle fest

is going on,
but I don't like it.

I take my door hinge
guarantee very seriously.

I'll try make it
out there when I can.

I'm in the middle of a
pretty big job right now.

What kinda job?

A door hinge job.

Ow!

I want compensation.

Now you're really
asking for it.

Give us a break.
A guy died in this thing.

Let's. You gotta...

Are those s'mores?

Sure. Want one?

Want me to run the
extension cable?

How long does this
have to be here?

It doesn't leave my sight until
the meteor shower tonight.

Hey.

Hey, wanna come watch?

It's a once in a
lifetime chance.

Who lives to be 12,000?

Brent, did you fiddle
with your hinge?

I beg your pardon, Ma'am?

He tried to fix it because
Hank was makin' fun of him.

Now I'm Hank whipped?

Now my door's broken and
you are responsible.

How am I...
Terry caught you.

Now I'm being lumped in with
you. I hate being lumped.

Fiddler!

Hey, Lacey. Wanna go
to a meteor shower?

Do I have to buy a present?

Never mind.

Oh-oh Lor-oo-oord

kum bi ya-aaa

These s'mores are so good.
Do you have the recipe?

Marshmallows and
graham crackers.

Anyway, thanks
for dropping by.

Oh, no problem. That's
the nice thing about RV-ing,

the people you meet.

And now I will sing
the same song again.

Kum bi ya, my Lor-ooord...

Hey, wanna fry?
They're free.

So you're not charging me
to eat off your plate now?

No, I mean free to me.
Compensation.

Lacey's door broke
and I, uh... I know.

And the door
guy won't comeI know.
because you...

Yeah? Well, did you know this?

What?

I don't have a third thihing.

I just thought you'd
cut me off again.

I never should have
hired that door guy.

You're telling me.

I've suffered
mental anguish.

Whatat anguish?
It was a t on the bum.

The bum of the mind. Huh?

Look, Brent. You've gotta
get back in the game.

It's a good thing
Lacey's door broke.

It's a window
of opportunity.

The door's a window?

Yeah. You know what they say.

God closes a door,
he opens a window.

You'd think he'd have a guy
to open his windows for him.

Pay attention.

You fix Lacey's door,
you regain your respect.

That's what I'm sayin'.

Maybe I could help
Lacey make a sign.

What's the matter with you?

Are you afraid of Terry?

No, I'm not scared of Terry.

He's just a door guy with
big arms and a tan

and a nice truck.

I feel sorry for him,
is what it is.

Well, remember, he's not comin',
so he can't catch us.

Let's do it.

Look, it's my fault he's not
coming. Let me fix it.

You're not fixing,
you're fiddling.

Call Terry and apologize.

Just give us a chance
to prove ourselves.

Give us two chances
to prove ourselves.

You're leaving?

Well, technically, us setting up
the RV here is illegal.

We're breaking the law
right on your doorstep.

It's very convenient.
We appreciate it.

But where will you go?

This is nice.

You know what would
make it even better?

If we go inside the house?

Sounds good.

Sorry about before.

I shouldn't punish you because
of one bad apple like Brent.

Let's take a look
at that door.

Uh, you know what?
It-it-it's funny.

It actually kind
of fixed itself.

Really?
No, it didn't.

I fixed it.

No, Brent, don't.

Enough lies.

I can fix a door.

You wanna see a
door that's fixed?

Check out this fixed door.

Lacey, is this
how you feel too?

I'm sorry.

I guess we just don't
need you anymore.

Fine.

But I can't guarantee the hinge.

You're on your own.

I was wrong.
Thanks for
fixing my door.

Well, we're business people.
We make our businesses work.

Ow!

I'll go apologize
to Terry.

Awesome.

Once in 12,000 years
and I got to see it.

Ah, this is amazing!

I mean I've played
a lot of Asteroids,

but I've never seen
anything like this.

Thanks for
showing me, Wanda.

Actually, it was kinda
cool having someone

to watch this with.

I don't get it.

That barely even
sounds mean.

And if you tell anyone,
I'll gut ya like a fish.

You shoulda seen it,
all these meteors.

Spacurniuswould
have been impressed.

Spacurnius?

Yeah. He invented space.

Yeah, that's
what he did.

See ya later.

Careful.

You know, it was really
nice of Wanda to show me

that shower thing, so I got her
a new birdbath to say thanks.

Oh!

Oh!

Is the birdbath okay?

My window!

Hey, don't sweat it.

This kinda thing
happens all the time.