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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:07,154 --> 00:01:08,807 Hey. You need a ride? 2 00:01:11,767 --> 00:01:13,962 So you're still riding the bus with all the ninth graders? 3 00:01:13,986 --> 00:01:16,989 Okay, I like public transportation. 4 00:01:17,033 --> 00:01:19,079 It lets me stay in touch with the youth. 5 00:01:19,122 --> 00:01:20,926 What happens when all the youth get their licenses 6 00:01:20,950 --> 00:01:22,734 and you're the last one on the bus? 7 00:01:22,778 --> 00:01:24,519 Sick Top 40, bro. 8 00:01:24,562 --> 00:01:26,129 It is sick, actually. 9 00:01:26,173 --> 00:01:27,522 In what circles? 10 00:01:27,565 --> 00:01:29,741 In all the circles. That's why it's Top 40. 11 00:01:29,785 --> 00:01:31,482 Fuckin' touche. 12 00:01:33,310 --> 00:01:34,877 You wanna hear sick? 13 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:35,921 Oh, no. 14 00:01:41,275 --> 00:01:42,276 Oh. 15 00:01:42,624 --> 00:01:43,712 What? 16 00:01:47,411 --> 00:01:49,674 Is it weird he isn't here? Who? 17 00:01:50,806 --> 00:01:51,850 Ben! 18 00:01:52,851 --> 00:01:53,852 No. 19 00:01:54,549 --> 00:01:55,898 Why? 20 00:01:55,941 --> 00:01:57,813 Because you guys have a conjoined vagina. 21 00:01:59,380 --> 00:02:01,164 You want a bite of my corned beef sandwich? 22 00:02:01,208 --> 00:02:03,297 Uh-uh. 23 00:02:03,340 --> 00:02:06,500 Why do you close yourself off to all of life's miracles like this? Live a little. 24 00:02:07,823 --> 00:02:10,521 I don't wanna eat anything that has to be "corned." 25 00:02:10,565 --> 00:02:13,959 You don't like my corned beef sandwiches... 26 00:02:14,003 --> 00:02:15,961 - you don't like my music. - Mmm-hmm. 27 00:02:16,005 --> 00:02:18,225 I don't think that's how friends work. 28 00:02:18,268 --> 00:02:20,140 I guess we have nothing in common. 29 00:02:20,183 --> 00:02:22,142 Maybe we shouldn't be anymore. 30 00:02:22,185 --> 00:02:24,231 We shouldn't be friends? 31 00:02:25,580 --> 00:02:26,581 Yeah. 32 00:02:43,337 --> 00:02:44,338 What do you say? 33 00:02:45,730 --> 00:02:46,731 Not friends? 34 00:02:50,518 --> 00:02:51,562 Not friends. 35 00:03:02,094 --> 00:03:03,661 Okay. 36 00:03:23,681 --> 00:03:25,292 I think we should have sex. 37 00:03:26,902 --> 00:03:29,992 - In general? - No, I mean right now. 38 00:03:32,603 --> 00:03:33,952 You're my little lemur. 39 00:03:33,996 --> 00:03:35,519 You're my little panda bear. 40 00:03:39,088 --> 00:03:40,742 I love panda bears! 41 00:03:40,785 --> 00:03:42,787 - Fuckin' love lemurs. - Yeah. 42 00:03:56,148 --> 00:03:57,498 Fourth time's the charm. 43 00:04:26,570 --> 00:04:28,311 - Listen. Listen to me. - What? 44 00:04:28,355 --> 00:04:30,966 It's getting really tiring hanging out with you 45 00:04:31,009 --> 00:04:33,510 - while you're always on your phone. - You do the same thing to me! 46 00:04:33,534 --> 00:04:36,754 You talk to Molly and Sally, I swear, for 45 minutes 47 00:04:36,798 --> 00:04:38,428 - every time we hang out. - Are you kidding me? 48 00:04:38,452 --> 00:04:40,038 You play your dumb little fuckin' video games all the time 49 00:04:40,062 --> 00:04:41,692 with Ben on the other line, being like, "Meh-meh-meh-meh." 50 00:04:41,716 --> 00:04:43,389 - I'm driving you home. - I keep hearing fuckin' rumors... 51 00:04:43,413 --> 00:04:45,173 from ninth grade about you getting blowies, which, by the way, 52 00:04:45,197 --> 00:04:47,243 I don't know who even said, "blowie." 53 00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:50,159 Oh, I'm sorry. I don't give a fuck. Enjoy your meal. 54 00:04:50,202 --> 00:04:52,074 I don't give a fuck. 55 00:05:07,655 --> 00:05:08,699 Angry! 56 00:05:09,918 --> 00:05:12,312 Okay, fine, you know what? Just let's... 57 00:05:12,355 --> 00:05:15,195 What, are we posing like this? This is so fuckin' cliche. This is cliche. 58 00:05:56,878 --> 00:05:58,749 Why did you choose Boston? 59 00:06:07,584 --> 00:06:10,239 - April, have your salmon. - I'm not hungry. 60 00:06:10,282 --> 00:06:13,068 Well, it's been two weeks. You need the omega threes. 61 00:06:13,111 --> 00:06:15,679 - They help your brain. - What's wrong with my brain? 62 00:06:15,723 --> 00:06:17,246 Honey! They're good for you. 63 00:06:17,289 --> 00:06:19,379 Mom, she's allowed to be depressed. 64 00:06:19,422 --> 00:06:21,163 - Thank you. - No one as good as Nick 65 00:06:21,206 --> 00:06:22,947 will ever love her again. 66 00:06:22,991 --> 00:06:25,385 Agnes. Show some compassion. 67 00:06:25,428 --> 00:06:26,995 Yeah. Eat a dick, Agnes. 68 00:06:27,038 --> 00:06:29,432 April, don't tell your sister to eat that. 69 00:06:29,476 --> 00:06:31,434 - I'll eat Nick's dick. - Not okay. 70 00:06:31,478 --> 00:06:33,369 You little perv. You don't even have your period yet. 71 00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:35,438 - I do have my period. - Oh, yeah? 72 00:06:35,482 --> 00:06:36,918 - Show me your tampon. - You... 73 00:06:36,961 --> 00:06:39,137 You got your period and you didn't tell me? 74 00:06:39,181 --> 00:06:41,836 Wow. You guys are gonna be single forever. 75 00:06:41,879 --> 00:06:43,751 - No, we're not. - No, we're not. 76 00:06:43,794 --> 00:06:46,362 Meanwhile, I'm gonna marry Nick and we're gonna own a yacht, 77 00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,190 and a Jacuzzi, and a baby whale, 78 00:06:48,233 --> 00:06:52,020 and we're all gonna live in Mexico in a beautiful Spanish-style house. 79 00:06:52,063 --> 00:06:53,717 We're gonna have five kids and they're all 80 00:06:53,761 --> 00:06:55,632 gonna be named after famous singers. 81 00:06:55,676 --> 00:06:58,592 Let's see. We're gonna have Will.i.am, and we're gonna have Cher, 82 00:06:58,635 --> 00:07:00,550 but we also gotta throw in some Beatle names, 83 00:07:00,594 --> 00:07:04,075 so we'll have Paul McCartney and John Lennon... 84 00:07:47,945 --> 00:07:49,425 Lemme get a Coke and a hot dog. 85 00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:51,079 One Coke. 86 00:07:51,122 --> 00:07:54,561 - And a hot dog. - That's gonna be $4 for the Coke. 87 00:07:54,604 --> 00:07:56,476 Sorry, are you out of hot dogs? 88 00:07:56,519 --> 00:07:58,695 - No, we have hot dogs. - Then... Then why... 89 00:07:58,739 --> 00:08:00,175 Because the smell of your pig parts 90 00:08:00,218 --> 00:08:02,569 are gonna ruin the cinematic experience for everyone. 91 00:08:02,612 --> 00:08:04,309 Where's your manager? 92 00:08:04,353 --> 00:08:07,530 Look, April, I like you. 93 00:08:07,574 --> 00:08:09,706 You know, I... I like the way that blue shirt 94 00:08:09,750 --> 00:08:12,840 brings out the brown in your eyes, you know, it's really stunning. 95 00:08:12,883 --> 00:08:15,407 But you can't tell people what to order, okay? 96 00:08:15,451 --> 00:08:17,148 Like, let them get the hot dogs. 97 00:08:17,192 --> 00:08:18,802 - Okay. - Great. 98 00:08:18,846 --> 00:08:23,024 That was a great talk. Really, really productive and... 99 00:08:25,940 --> 00:08:26,941 Yeah. 100 00:09:23,171 --> 00:09:24,346 Yo. 101 00:09:24,389 --> 00:09:26,478 Yo! We're goin' out tonight. 102 00:09:26,522 --> 00:09:28,263 I don't go out anymore. 103 00:09:28,306 --> 00:09:30,265 It'll make you happy! 104 00:09:30,308 --> 00:09:32,093 Are we going to a gun range? 105 00:09:32,136 --> 00:09:34,312 We're going to Mordecai's. 106 00:09:34,356 --> 00:09:36,053 Is that a temple? 107 00:09:36,663 --> 00:09:38,708 It's a house party. 108 00:09:38,752 --> 00:09:41,015 Don't even try to say no. 109 00:09:41,058 --> 00:09:42,843 You need to get thirsty for a dick. 110 00:09:42,886 --> 00:09:46,063 Yeah! Rebound dick! 111 00:09:46,107 --> 00:09:48,196 Oh, it's the best kinda dick. 112 00:09:48,239 --> 00:09:50,067 No, it's the second best. 113 00:09:50,111 --> 00:09:52,200 Wait, what's the best kind? Love dick. 114 00:09:52,243 --> 00:09:55,377 Don't talk about love in front of April! 115 00:09:57,118 --> 00:10:00,512 Where the fuck did this Clara girl come from anyway? 116 00:10:00,556 --> 00:10:03,124 - Her Instagram's on private. - Trick ass bitch. 117 00:10:03,167 --> 00:10:06,040 I followed her from my fake account at TatianaRealicious. 118 00:10:06,083 --> 00:10:10,566 Wait, she accepted someone named TatianaRealicious? 119 00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,133 You dumb bitch. 120 00:10:12,176 --> 00:10:13,980 You have a fake Instagram account that I don't know about? 121 00:10:14,004 --> 00:10:15,789 Mmm. 122 00:10:15,832 --> 00:10:16,983 You don't know everything about me. 123 00:10:17,007 --> 00:10:18,530 When did you do that? 124 00:10:18,574 --> 00:10:20,924 What is this photo of Shaquille O'Neal? 125 00:10:20,968 --> 00:10:22,447 I saw Shaq at a bakery once. 126 00:10:22,491 --> 00:10:24,624 I saw Kobe in a Petco. 127 00:10:24,667 --> 00:10:28,323 It's so cool that they shop for their own pet paraphernalia. 128 00:10:28,366 --> 00:10:30,630 Get this torture device away from me. 129 00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:34,808 She's like 130 00:10:35,504 --> 00:10:36,548 really pretty. 131 00:10:36,592 --> 00:10:37,854 Oh. 132 00:10:37,898 --> 00:10:41,728 - Sally! - Like, in a boring, classic way. 133 00:10:41,771 --> 00:10:43,425 Shut up. 134 00:10:49,170 --> 00:10:51,651 Ah, I love shots! 135 00:10:51,694 --> 00:10:53,957 Me, too! 136 00:10:55,176 --> 00:10:56,612 I miss Nick. 137 00:11:17,067 --> 00:11:20,680 To the universe for testing us all. 138 00:11:21,158 --> 00:11:23,465 Huh? 139 00:11:23,508 --> 00:11:27,730 - I'm an existentialist. - Cool. I love horses, too. 140 00:11:31,516 --> 00:11:32,692 All right. 141 00:11:37,609 --> 00:11:39,829 Oh, yeah, your tits. 142 00:11:40,612 --> 00:11:42,353 Ah, it smells bad in here. 143 00:11:44,355 --> 00:11:46,314 You're a good kisser. 144 00:11:46,357 --> 00:11:48,708 Yeah, yeah. Say... Say more stuff like that. 145 00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:53,930 If you blow me, I'll fuck you. 146 00:11:58,152 --> 00:11:59,457 What? 147 00:12:07,814 --> 00:12:09,554 - April. April. - Get over here. 148 00:12:10,860 --> 00:12:12,688 - She's here. - Who? 149 00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:13,950 You know who. 150 00:12:15,647 --> 00:12:17,780 - Is Nick with her? - We haven't seen him. 151 00:12:17,824 --> 00:12:19,826 If this is too hard for you, we can go. 152 00:12:19,869 --> 00:12:23,481 Or we can get you a Lyft and you can go. 153 00:12:34,405 --> 00:12:36,799 I feel bad. I feel so bad. 154 00:12:38,105 --> 00:12:41,630 - Should I say something to her? - Like what? 155 00:12:41,673 --> 00:12:45,460 Like, "Hi, I'm April. I hear you're letting the boy I love cum inside you." 156 00:12:45,503 --> 00:12:48,202 - That's so weird. - Please don't ever say that. 157 00:12:48,245 --> 00:12:49,594 So, they're like, "Oh." 158 00:12:52,859 --> 00:12:54,904 - Want some tequila? - Mmm-hmm. 159 00:12:56,601 --> 00:12:59,082 - I have some coke, too. - I'd do a little coke. 160 00:13:31,027 --> 00:13:33,377 - April? - Fucking Judas. 161 00:13:33,421 --> 00:13:35,162 What the fuck? 162 00:13:35,205 --> 00:13:39,122 "What the fuck" to you, Benjamin. 163 00:13:39,166 --> 00:13:41,274 Uh, yeah, sorry, so I've been to like three bedrooms already. 164 00:13:41,298 --> 00:13:43,344 You were not specific, and this is a big-ass house. 165 00:13:43,387 --> 00:13:45,346 Are you having sex with her, too? 166 00:13:45,389 --> 00:13:47,609 What? Clar... No, no, we're just friends. 167 00:13:47,652 --> 00:13:50,960 No, who the hell is this girl? How come I've never heard of her? 168 00:13:51,004 --> 00:13:54,181 Okay, Clara, uh, her parents are like my godparents, 169 00:13:54,224 --> 00:13:57,575 and we kinda grew up together and we used to take baths. 170 00:13:57,619 --> 00:13:59,621 - With each other. You know? - Oh! 171 00:13:59,664 --> 00:14:01,623 That's so cute. Tell me more. 172 00:14:01,666 --> 00:14:04,800 Right. I don't know why this is a thing, you know, 173 00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:06,473 'cause she's, like, moved here, she doesn't have any friends... 174 00:14:06,497 --> 00:14:07,629 And you thought, 175 00:14:07,672 --> 00:14:09,544 "Before I show her the Chinese Theatre, 176 00:14:09,587 --> 00:14:10,980 she should see Nick's penis?" 177 00:14:11,024 --> 00:14:12,634 I didn't think that, 178 00:14:13,722 --> 00:14:15,637 but maybe she hasn't seen it yet. 179 00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:19,510 I'm gonna break into your house and force feed you ghost peppers. 180 00:14:19,554 --> 00:14:23,123 - That's incredibly specific. - I am gonna hunt you down 181 00:14:23,166 --> 00:14:24,951 when you're old and you're sick, 182 00:14:24,994 --> 00:14:26,778 and I'm gonna turn off the oxygen. 183 00:14:26,822 --> 00:14:29,999 I'm gonna tell weird stories at your funeral, 184 00:14:30,043 --> 00:14:31,759 - so no one remembers you accurately. - Okay, 185 00:14:31,783 --> 00:14:33,655 I don't wanna play your death threat game, 186 00:14:33,698 --> 00:14:35,763 and I don't wanna be in the middle of whatever weird, toxic shit... 187 00:14:35,787 --> 00:14:38,573 You're not in the middle. You're fuckin' taking their side! 188 00:14:38,616 --> 00:14:41,489 I'm not taking their side, because there are no sides, April. 189 00:14:41,532 --> 00:14:42,770 -You're making this up. It's all in your head. -Yes, you are. 190 00:14:42,794 --> 00:14:44,231 Hey! Hey! Hey, hey! 191 00:14:44,274 --> 00:14:45,580 This is a private area. 192 00:14:45,623 --> 00:14:47,712 Right. It's my parents' bedroom. 193 00:14:49,279 --> 00:14:50,280 Mordecai? 194 00:14:52,065 --> 00:14:53,109 Yes? 195 00:14:54,023 --> 00:14:56,678 - That's Mordecai. - It is. 196 00:14:56,721 --> 00:14:58,090 - Ben, do you know this person? - I do know this person. 197 00:14:58,114 --> 00:15:00,029 - You know this person? - We're leaving. 198 00:15:00,073 --> 00:15:01,683 - Thank you. - We're leaving. 199 00:15:01,726 --> 00:15:03,119 You're so strict. 200 00:15:04,207 --> 00:15:06,470 So strict. Okay. 201 00:15:12,389 --> 00:15:14,217 Bedrooms are off limits, guys. 202 00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:35,935 It's not me, Mordecai. 203 00:15:40,026 --> 00:15:41,070 Hi. 204 00:15:45,683 --> 00:15:46,684 You're April. 205 00:15:47,903 --> 00:15:48,904 Uh-huh. 206 00:15:50,210 --> 00:15:51,211 Clara. 207 00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:54,083 I'm aware. 208 00:15:58,044 --> 00:16:00,089 Have... Have you seen keys for a Volvo? 209 00:16:06,878 --> 00:16:07,879 No. 210 00:16:10,273 --> 00:16:11,796 Is that it? 211 00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:14,060 No, I just... I saw you walking in here and I thought 212 00:16:14,103 --> 00:16:15,844 maybe I should say something. 213 00:16:15,887 --> 00:16:17,454 About your keys? 214 00:16:17,498 --> 00:16:21,415 No, forget the keys. That was just like an icebreaker. 215 00:16:21,458 --> 00:16:23,460 It's still icy as fuck in here. 216 00:16:24,766 --> 00:16:26,594 Okay. 217 00:16:26,637 --> 00:16:28,378 Maybe this was a bad idea. 218 00:16:30,076 --> 00:16:31,425 That's astute. 219 00:16:31,468 --> 00:16:34,036 I didn't know about you until two days ago. 220 00:16:37,039 --> 00:16:41,043 Also, I'm pretty sure I'm gonna throw up, 221 00:16:41,087 --> 00:16:42,653 if that makes you feel any better. 222 00:16:43,437 --> 00:16:44,481 A little. 223 00:16:45,917 --> 00:16:47,223 Do you wanna go do a shot? 224 00:16:50,618 --> 00:16:52,054 I don't drink. 225 00:17:05,589 --> 00:17:07,330 You know this song! 226 00:17:07,374 --> 00:17:08,853 I don't really... Not really. 227 00:17:08,897 --> 00:17:10,725 You know, I can hear you singing it. 228 00:17:10,768 --> 00:17:12,422 - I don't know. - That's not the rules. 229 00:17:12,466 --> 00:17:14,139 You have to sing if you know the song. You know I'm right. 230 00:17:14,163 --> 00:17:16,905 -I don't know... -You know I'm right. You have to. Come on. 231 00:17:38,144 --> 00:17:39,884 - Yes, yes, yes, yes! - You can do that. 232 00:17:41,886 --> 00:17:43,279 Come on. 233 00:17:55,900 --> 00:17:57,598 Oh, fuck. 234 00:18:14,832 --> 00:18:16,530 I can hold my own hair. 235 00:18:22,231 --> 00:18:24,842 You were the one who was supposed to puke. 236 00:18:25,191 --> 00:18:26,409 Sorry. 237 00:18:27,976 --> 00:18:29,238 How do you feel? 238 00:18:30,761 --> 00:18:32,023 Hungry. 239 00:18:32,807 --> 00:18:34,069 Oh. 240 00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:36,985 I saw some fancy cheese in the fridge. 241 00:18:37,028 --> 00:18:39,596 - Please, stop. - Stop what? 242 00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:41,816 Why are you being so nice to me? 243 00:18:41,859 --> 00:18:45,167 What, I mean, what? Do you want me to be like a bitch to you? 244 00:18:45,211 --> 00:18:46,908 Kind of. 245 00:18:46,951 --> 00:18:49,345 I want a reason to give you a black eye. 246 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:53,610 God, your eyes are pretty. 247 00:18:54,524 --> 00:18:56,047 Your eyes are pretty. 248 00:18:57,179 --> 00:18:59,138 And your boobs, they're like... 249 00:19:00,226 --> 00:19:01,444 really good. 250 00:19:01,966 --> 00:19:03,446 No. 251 00:19:03,490 --> 00:19:06,014 It's a push-up bra. Feel. 252 00:19:09,496 --> 00:19:11,150 Could I ask you something? 253 00:19:11,454 --> 00:19:12,455 Yeah. 254 00:19:14,196 --> 00:19:15,980 Why isn't Nick here with you? 255 00:19:17,678 --> 00:19:20,463 I don't know. Ask Ben. 256 00:19:20,507 --> 00:19:23,205 - They are so gay together. - I know. 257 00:19:43,225 --> 00:19:44,357 I'm gonna... 258 00:19:45,314 --> 00:19:46,402 You have to go? 259 00:19:48,491 --> 00:19:49,492 Yeah. 260 00:19:54,367 --> 00:19:56,804 They look friendly. 261 00:19:56,847 --> 00:19:58,762 They're not friendly, they're just... 262 00:19:59,763 --> 00:20:01,287 my friends. 263 00:20:05,900 --> 00:20:08,381 Well, it was nice to meet you. 264 00:20:08,424 --> 00:20:10,818 Yup. It was less bloody than I envisioned. 265 00:20:11,645 --> 00:20:12,994 Take my number. 266 00:20:15,039 --> 00:20:17,085 I... Uh... 267 00:20:17,390 --> 00:20:18,391 What? 268 00:20:20,306 --> 00:20:21,872 What about... 269 00:20:22,743 --> 00:20:23,744 Nick. 270 00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:27,400 Yeah. That person. 271 00:20:27,443 --> 00:20:28,966 I don't have to tell him. 272 00:20:31,795 --> 00:20:33,580 Well... 273 00:20:33,623 --> 00:20:35,495 good luck with your keys. I'm... 274 00:20:35,538 --> 00:20:38,454 Oh, my God, just take my phone number. 275 00:20:43,459 --> 00:20:44,634 Have you lost your damn mind? 276 00:20:46,070 --> 00:20:47,594 What happens when she gets jealous? 277 00:20:47,637 --> 00:20:49,596 I'm not forcing her to hang out with me. 278 00:20:49,639 --> 00:20:51,313 Oh, yeah, you just gave her your cell phone number for what? 279 00:20:51,337 --> 00:20:54,688 - Shits and gigs? - Chill, Benjamin. 280 00:20:54,731 --> 00:20:56,448 Oh, my God. You know, you and April are the only two people 281 00:20:56,472 --> 00:20:57,778 who call me that? 282 00:20:57,821 --> 00:20:59,954 Which is exactly why we should be friends. 283 00:20:59,997 --> 00:21:01,651 That's a really flimsy argument. 284 00:21:01,695 --> 00:21:03,305 What if I'm the one who gets jealous? 285 00:21:03,349 --> 00:21:04,741 Why... Why would you get jealous? 286 00:21:04,785 --> 00:21:07,701 Because she's like the... The long-term ex. 287 00:21:07,744 --> 00:21:09,505 Yeah, but I'm pretty sure relationships with sex 288 00:21:09,529 --> 00:21:12,749 take priority over relationships, you know, without sex. 289 00:21:12,793 --> 00:21:15,274 Then I guess we're just gonna have to scissor. 290 00:21:17,188 --> 00:21:20,670 Look, I'm asking you to do me a favor, okay? 291 00:21:20,714 --> 00:21:22,585 - It depends. - Are you kidding me? 292 00:21:22,629 --> 00:21:24,128 I helped you with all those fucking shelves with the Swedish names... 293 00:21:24,152 --> 00:21:26,023 Then what is it? 294 00:21:26,067 --> 00:21:29,200 Just don't hang out with April. 295 00:21:29,244 --> 00:21:32,073 And if you do, please, stop hooking up with Nick. 296 00:21:32,856 --> 00:21:34,989 Huh? Just pick one. 297 00:21:57,272 --> 00:21:58,317 Send it. 298 00:22:00,493 --> 00:22:01,581 Send it. 299 00:22:03,017 --> 00:22:04,540 What if you don't respond? 300 00:22:04,584 --> 00:22:06,281 Why would I give you my number? 301 00:22:07,238 --> 00:22:08,979 Well... 302 00:22:09,023 --> 00:22:10,981 Maybe Nick is balls deep inside you. 303 00:22:11,678 --> 00:22:12,722 Maybe. 304 00:22:15,246 --> 00:22:17,510 But on the other hand... 305 00:22:18,162 --> 00:22:19,207 fuck it. 306 00:22:26,954 --> 00:22:27,955 Send. 307 00:22:30,523 --> 00:22:32,655 - So, you know I... - What do you... 308 00:22:32,699 --> 00:22:34,875 - You go. - No, you. 309 00:22:34,918 --> 00:22:38,792 I was just gonna say, I stalked you on Instagram. 310 00:22:38,835 --> 00:22:42,361 - You did? - Yeah, like 106 weeks. 311 00:22:43,318 --> 00:22:45,755 Well, I stalked you, too, 312 00:22:45,799 --> 00:22:49,150 but, uh, only made it to that Shaquille O'Neal post. 313 00:22:49,193 --> 00:22:51,370 I just wanna hug him, you know? 314 00:22:51,413 --> 00:22:53,110 - Sure. - And fuck him. 315 00:22:53,154 --> 00:22:56,070 Wait, how did you see that photo? My account's on private. 316 00:22:57,463 --> 00:23:00,770 I had a friend follow you from a fake account. 317 00:23:00,814 --> 00:23:03,643 Your friend is TatianaRealicious? 318 00:23:04,731 --> 00:23:06,863 - Yes. - Oh, my God, 319 00:23:06,907 --> 00:23:09,649 that answers so many questions. 320 00:23:09,692 --> 00:23:10,998 Did... Okay. 321 00:23:14,915 --> 00:23:16,743 So you're just not going to school? 322 00:23:16,786 --> 00:23:19,746 I mean, I might, one day. 323 00:23:19,789 --> 00:23:21,574 I forgot that's even an option. 324 00:23:22,313 --> 00:23:23,880 What made you move here? 325 00:23:23,924 --> 00:23:27,406 I don't know. Just to move here. Fresno sucks. 326 00:23:27,449 --> 00:23:29,320 That's so baller. 327 00:23:29,364 --> 00:23:34,413 Yeah, I'm ballin' real hard using my employee discount to buy oven mitts. 328 00:23:34,456 --> 00:23:37,590 - You can cook, too? - What, you can't cook? 329 00:23:37,633 --> 00:23:40,593 I put chocolate in the microwave before, 330 00:23:40,636 --> 00:23:42,484 with, like, some marshmallows and stirred peanut butter in, 331 00:23:42,508 --> 00:23:45,293 - and I can eat that. - Don't tell people that. 332 00:23:47,643 --> 00:23:48,992 Someone's coming. What do I do? 333 00:23:49,428 --> 00:23:50,603 Nothing. 334 00:23:53,649 --> 00:23:54,781 Hi. 335 00:23:54,824 --> 00:23:56,304 Hello, dog. 336 00:23:57,697 --> 00:24:00,482 You never peed outside before? 337 00:24:00,526 --> 00:24:02,310 What do you use for toilet paper? 338 00:24:03,137 --> 00:24:04,399 You drip dry. 339 00:24:07,794 --> 00:24:09,752 It's pooling against my shoe! 340 00:24:24,506 --> 00:24:26,290 Just take the test again. 341 00:24:26,334 --> 00:24:28,510 I can't bring my mom's car to Boston. 342 00:24:28,554 --> 00:24:31,382 Well, yeah, but at some point in your life you're gonna want your own. 343 00:24:31,426 --> 00:24:32,993 I do have my learner's permit. 344 00:24:33,036 --> 00:24:34,037 That's good. 345 00:24:35,256 --> 00:24:36,300 It's expired. 346 00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:39,216 Oh. 347 00:24:39,260 --> 00:24:42,611 Nick used to get so pissed having to drive me everywhere. 348 00:24:42,655 --> 00:24:44,831 What the fuck is up with his tinted windows? 349 00:24:44,874 --> 00:24:48,443 He thinks he's a drug lord, clearly. 350 00:24:48,487 --> 00:24:52,142 Right, because all drug lords drive around in their shitty Jettas, 351 00:24:52,186 --> 00:24:54,580 listening to Carly Rae Jepsen. 352 00:24:54,623 --> 00:24:56,799 He truly loves her. 353 00:24:58,061 --> 00:24:59,585 He's not being ironic? 354 00:25:00,586 --> 00:25:01,978 - No. - Fuck. 355 00:25:04,807 --> 00:25:07,680 Did he always used to put your nose in his mouth? 356 00:25:07,723 --> 00:25:09,116 Literally all the time. 357 00:25:09,159 --> 00:25:11,248 What, is that supposed to be sexy? 358 00:25:11,292 --> 00:25:13,294 I have no idea. I actually had to Google it. 359 00:25:15,165 --> 00:25:19,822 What about when he grabs your boob like it is a tightly-sealed jar? 360 00:25:19,866 --> 00:25:21,563 - Okay, thank you. - Yes. 361 00:25:21,607 --> 00:25:23,652 I would get freakin' bruises. 362 00:25:26,916 --> 00:25:29,963 What about when he refers to his dick as a quidditch stick? 363 00:25:34,707 --> 00:25:37,448 He... He hasn't done that with me. 364 00:25:45,021 --> 00:25:46,936 I think we should make some rules. 365 00:25:47,981 --> 00:25:49,896 - I concur. - Cool. 366 00:25:53,334 --> 00:25:56,293 First rule, no talking about Nick. 367 00:25:56,337 --> 00:25:58,513 Second rule, no telling Nick. 368 00:25:58,557 --> 00:26:02,517 Ooh. Okay, so rule 2B should be no social media. 369 00:26:02,561 --> 00:26:05,302 - That's so smart. - Yeah. 370 00:26:05,346 --> 00:26:08,218 And if things get weird, we have to tell each other. 371 00:26:08,262 --> 00:26:10,046 - These are really good rules. - Yeah. 372 00:26:11,657 --> 00:26:13,354 I feel like we're in Fight Club. 373 00:26:13,397 --> 00:26:16,618 Yeah. You can be Brad Pitt and I'll be George Clooney. 374 00:26:16,662 --> 00:26:20,709 Well, you can be George Clooney if you want, but he wasn't in Fight Club. 375 00:26:20,753 --> 00:26:24,278 Oh. Well, I watched it when I was on whip-its. 376 00:26:25,279 --> 00:26:27,063 Okay, is this crazy? 377 00:26:27,107 --> 00:26:28,674 Probably. 378 00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:37,726 So, um, should we, like, make out now, or... 379 00:26:37,770 --> 00:26:39,510 I did already touch your boob. 380 00:26:40,468 --> 00:26:42,296 - That's true. - Yeah. 381 00:26:45,691 --> 00:26:46,822 Good night. 382 00:26:52,088 --> 00:26:56,832 Just so, um, we're clear, I'm not actually a lesbian. 383 00:26:56,876 --> 00:27:00,444 I feel like I've been giving you some lesbian undertones and, like... 384 00:27:00,488 --> 00:27:04,144 I did... I did, uh, make out with my friend Sally once... 385 00:27:05,536 --> 00:27:06,755 but I didn't enjoy it. 386 00:27:06,799 --> 00:27:08,452 - I was worried. I'm glad. - Yeah. 387 00:27:08,496 --> 00:27:10,454 Thank you for the clarification. 388 00:27:13,370 --> 00:27:16,069 You can drive away now. 389 00:27:19,507 --> 00:27:21,422 - Bye! - Bye! 390 00:27:25,426 --> 00:27:27,210 Whoo! Clara! 391 00:27:45,576 --> 00:27:46,926 No! 392 00:27:54,673 --> 00:27:56,892 - I got him for you. - For me? 393 00:28:08,687 --> 00:28:09,862 It's bad. 394 00:28:09,905 --> 00:28:11,124 Clara to the stockroom. 395 00:28:12,952 --> 00:28:14,823 Clara, please come to the back. 396 00:28:14,867 --> 00:28:16,607 Yep. That's what we're gonna do. 397 00:29:06,832 --> 00:29:08,232 Do you want a bite of my patty melt? 398 00:29:09,312 --> 00:29:10,879 I'll have a bite of the bread part. 399 00:29:10,923 --> 00:29:12,838 Just the toast? 400 00:29:12,881 --> 00:29:15,275 - I don't wanna ingest weird meat. - No. 401 00:29:15,318 --> 00:29:16,537 Open your mind. 402 00:29:17,930 --> 00:29:19,670 Right there. The cheesy part. 403 00:29:20,323 --> 00:29:21,324 Fine. 404 00:29:26,025 --> 00:29:28,549 - Oh, my God. Mmm. - It's so good, right? 405 00:29:31,204 --> 00:29:33,249 - What? - Nothin'. 406 00:29:33,293 --> 00:29:36,209 Just the first time I get to see you guys in action. 407 00:29:36,252 --> 00:29:37,253 And? 408 00:29:38,864 --> 00:29:40,604 And I feel like a traitor. 409 00:29:40,648 --> 00:29:42,278 Oh, you're blowing this out of proportion. 410 00:29:42,302 --> 00:29:45,131 Yeah, maybe we measure proportions differently, you and I... 411 00:29:46,088 --> 00:29:47,829 And Nick. 412 00:29:47,873 --> 00:29:49,875 - Are you gonna tell him? - Hmm? 413 00:29:49,918 --> 00:29:53,008 - Are you a rat, Benjamin? - Yeah, a cheese-eating rat? 414 00:29:53,052 --> 00:29:54,923 Do you wanna know what happens to rats? 415 00:29:54,967 --> 00:29:58,709 - They get their toes cut off. - They get shanked in their sleep. 416 00:29:58,753 --> 00:30:01,451 They get their carbon monoxide detectors disabled. 417 00:30:01,495 --> 00:30:04,280 They get their sunscreen stolen, you ginger fuck. 418 00:30:04,324 --> 00:30:05,629 There it is. 419 00:30:05,673 --> 00:30:07,283 Yeah. 420 00:30:07,327 --> 00:30:09,677 You guys are perfect for each other, you know that? 421 00:30:11,026 --> 00:30:12,071 Oh, shoot. 422 00:30:13,855 --> 00:30:15,901 - Oh, I need to take mine, too. - Yeah. 423 00:30:16,423 --> 00:30:18,033 What? 424 00:30:18,077 --> 00:30:20,253 - Benjamin, what day is it? - It is Tuesday. 425 00:30:20,296 --> 00:30:21,994 - Tuesday. - Tuesday. 426 00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:31,742 So, what's up with April? 427 00:30:33,222 --> 00:30:34,833 You mean Clara? 428 00:30:34,876 --> 00:30:36,182 No, I saw Clara yesterday. 429 00:30:36,225 --> 00:30:37,400 I meant April. 430 00:30:41,448 --> 00:30:44,843 Don't go to your weird, silent place. 431 00:30:46,192 --> 00:30:47,628 Give me the shit. 432 00:30:49,935 --> 00:30:50,936 Um... 433 00:30:52,024 --> 00:30:53,764 Yeah, uh, I don't really know. 434 00:30:53,808 --> 00:30:57,072 I guess she's... She's still, um, working at The Palace. 435 00:30:57,116 --> 00:30:58,117 Hmm. 436 00:30:59,379 --> 00:31:00,859 Is she hookin' up with anyone? 437 00:31:12,566 --> 00:31:14,437 I'm way too high for this shit. 438 00:31:14,481 --> 00:31:16,396 Dude, what shit? 439 00:31:18,224 --> 00:31:20,811 Look, she doesn't tell me anything because she knows I'd tell you... 440 00:31:20,835 --> 00:31:22,750 So, you are talking to her, then. 441 00:31:22,793 --> 00:31:26,841 Let's not talk about 'em back to back like this. It makes everything weird. 442 00:31:26,885 --> 00:31:29,539 All right, dude. You're the one who brought her up, not me. 443 00:31:29,583 --> 00:31:31,498 What? Which one? 444 00:31:34,240 --> 00:31:37,373 Clara, dude. Are you okay? 445 00:31:41,943 --> 00:31:43,902 Ooh, you're done, dude. 446 00:31:44,424 --> 00:31:45,468 You're toast. 447 00:31:50,386 --> 00:31:51,692 It's a normal question. 448 00:31:52,998 --> 00:31:54,303 I don't know. 449 00:31:54,347 --> 00:31:56,349 How many people have entered you? 450 00:31:56,392 --> 00:31:59,918 Can we not talk about my vagina like it's a room, please? 451 00:32:01,136 --> 00:32:02,311 I asked you first. 452 00:32:06,098 --> 00:32:07,099 One. 453 00:32:09,101 --> 00:32:10,189 So... 454 00:32:11,451 --> 00:32:12,452 Yeah. 455 00:32:13,888 --> 00:32:14,889 Got it. 456 00:32:16,456 --> 00:32:18,588 - And? - What? 457 00:32:18,632 --> 00:32:20,547 - It's your turn, woman. - Mmm... 458 00:32:21,635 --> 00:32:23,767 - Four... - That's not that bad. 459 00:32:23,811 --> 00:32:25,987 Teen. 460 00:32:26,031 --> 00:32:27,946 What? There's not a lot to do in Fresno. 461 00:32:27,989 --> 00:32:29,686 I'm not judging you. 462 00:32:29,730 --> 00:32:32,863 Good, 'cause if I were a man, you'd call me awesome. 463 00:32:32,907 --> 00:32:34,691 Well, you are awesome. 464 00:32:34,735 --> 00:32:37,085 I don't even think I know 14 full people. 465 00:32:40,610 --> 00:32:41,611 Who were they? 466 00:32:43,526 --> 00:32:44,571 Well... 467 00:32:48,314 --> 00:32:50,707 I lost my virginity to Henry. 468 00:32:50,751 --> 00:32:53,493 It took him three times to break my hymen. 469 00:32:55,060 --> 00:32:57,627 And then, there was Dario. 470 00:32:57,671 --> 00:32:59,803 He was an exchange student from Palermo, 471 00:32:59,847 --> 00:33:02,154 and he taught me how to make pasta. 472 00:33:02,197 --> 00:33:03,764 He also gave me chlamydia. 473 00:33:04,678 --> 00:33:07,028 So who was number three? 474 00:33:07,072 --> 00:33:10,553 Oh, no, Dario was, like, number six. 475 00:33:10,597 --> 00:33:12,773 I'm just giving you the highlights. 476 00:33:12,816 --> 00:33:15,256 What, you want me to tell you about all 14 of them, you weirdo? 477 00:33:16,124 --> 00:33:18,518 And then there was Micah. 478 00:33:18,561 --> 00:33:20,302 From summer camp. 479 00:33:20,346 --> 00:33:22,696 We were counselors together. 480 00:33:22,739 --> 00:33:24,045 And then he cheated on me. 481 00:33:25,394 --> 00:33:26,613 I really liked him. 482 00:33:28,397 --> 00:33:31,096 God, I just wanna be disrespected like once. 483 00:33:32,401 --> 00:33:33,794 You really don't. 484 00:33:36,318 --> 00:33:37,798 Were any of them serious? 485 00:33:43,325 --> 00:33:44,413 Not really. 486 00:33:45,762 --> 00:33:46,763 What about Ben? 487 00:33:47,503 --> 00:33:48,548 What about him? 488 00:33:49,853 --> 00:33:51,203 Have you ever... 489 00:33:51,246 --> 00:33:53,379 Oh, my God, no! 490 00:33:53,422 --> 00:33:57,470 That would be like incest. Not the hot kind. 491 00:33:57,513 --> 00:33:59,559 What is the hot kind of incest? 492 00:33:59,602 --> 00:34:02,866 It's like a sexy stepbrother or something. 493 00:34:04,781 --> 00:34:06,653 You should do Ben. 494 00:34:06,696 --> 00:34:10,265 Oh, I don't know. I can't picture him having an actual penis, you know? 495 00:34:10,309 --> 00:34:12,224 Oh, no, he does. 496 00:34:12,267 --> 00:34:15,923 I mean, unless some sort of accident has happened since our baths. 497 00:34:15,966 --> 00:34:19,709 Ah. Yes, your famous baths. 498 00:34:19,753 --> 00:34:21,494 A massive baby peen. 499 00:34:27,152 --> 00:34:30,285 You know, Ben is also best friends with... 500 00:34:30,329 --> 00:34:31,895 Right. 501 00:34:31,939 --> 00:34:34,681 - And you and Nick, you're... - Rules. 502 00:34:35,290 --> 00:34:36,509 Oh, right. 503 00:34:44,778 --> 00:34:45,866 Hey, baby. 504 00:34:51,263 --> 00:34:52,264 Hey. 505 00:34:53,178 --> 00:34:54,440 I've really missed you. 506 00:34:56,181 --> 00:34:59,532 You don't know how lost I've been without you. 507 00:35:01,490 --> 00:35:03,275 That's all I've wanted to hear. 508 00:35:05,581 --> 00:35:08,193 I was only gone for five minutes. 509 00:35:08,236 --> 00:35:09,803 What? 510 00:35:09,846 --> 00:35:11,563 I should've been with you from the very beginning. 511 00:35:11,587 --> 00:35:12,762 Hello? 512 00:35:12,806 --> 00:35:14,329 My little panda bear. 513 00:35:14,373 --> 00:35:15,809 You're my little lemur. 514 00:35:15,852 --> 00:35:18,333 I'm the lemur. I'm the lemur! 515 00:35:18,377 --> 00:35:19,682 I fuckin' love lemurs. 516 00:35:21,206 --> 00:35:24,209 Driver? Shut the partition. 517 00:35:24,252 --> 00:35:26,646 'Cause we gonna fuck! 518 00:35:29,301 --> 00:35:30,954 It sucks being third wheel, huh? 519 00:35:50,496 --> 00:35:52,454 Where have you been? 520 00:35:52,498 --> 00:35:54,413 You know, just hangin' out. 521 00:35:55,501 --> 00:35:57,416 With who? 522 00:35:57,459 --> 00:35:59,809 Various people. Get out of my closet. 523 00:35:59,853 --> 00:36:01,463 So you're rebound fucking? 524 00:36:01,507 --> 00:36:03,204 What? No. 525 00:36:03,248 --> 00:36:06,294 Rebounds are healthy. I had two after your father found Maria. 526 00:36:06,338 --> 00:36:08,209 - Mom. - What the fuck, Mom? 527 00:36:08,253 --> 00:36:11,560 Look, I am a three-dimensional human being who's had sex. 528 00:36:12,039 --> 00:36:13,606 And UTIs. 529 00:36:13,649 --> 00:36:18,350 And I have this little vibrator, and I have had many orgasms. 530 00:36:18,393 --> 00:36:21,222 Your father put his penis into me and you two came out. 531 00:36:21,266 --> 00:36:23,920 - Stop talking forever! - Okay, never again, Mom! 532 00:36:23,964 --> 00:36:25,705 Fine. Fine. 533 00:36:25,748 --> 00:36:27,402 Who is the rebound with? 534 00:36:27,446 --> 00:36:29,839 If you say you're back with Nick, I'll actually kill myself. 535 00:36:29,883 --> 00:36:34,366 It's not Nick. It's not a rebound. It's just, like, this girl. 536 00:36:35,236 --> 00:36:36,846 Oh, shit! 537 00:36:36,890 --> 00:36:38,761 - That's not what I meant. - What did you mean? 538 00:36:38,805 --> 00:36:40,633 Do you just finger each other really hard? 539 00:36:40,676 --> 00:36:43,288 Okay! It is platonic, and can you leave now? 540 00:36:43,331 --> 00:36:45,072 How did you know about fingering? 541 00:36:45,115 --> 00:36:47,988 I'm 13, Mom. I know all about fingering. 542 00:36:48,031 --> 00:36:51,948 I find that shocking. I did not know about fingering until college. 543 00:36:51,992 --> 00:36:55,343 I find that shocking after your history lesson on your vagina. 544 00:36:55,387 --> 00:37:00,087 I did that to illustrate a point, not to humiliate your sister. 545 00:37:06,528 --> 00:37:07,747 A whale! 546 00:37:08,226 --> 00:37:09,227 What? 547 00:37:09,923 --> 00:37:11,098 There was no whale. 548 00:37:11,881 --> 00:37:13,796 I just want your attention. 549 00:37:13,840 --> 00:37:17,713 - Oh. I'm just tryin' to get my shift covered at work. - Hmm. 550 00:37:21,935 --> 00:37:22,936 Okay. 551 00:37:24,329 --> 00:37:25,567 Can we roll around and make out now? 552 00:37:25,591 --> 00:37:27,114 - Yes. - Finally. 553 00:37:31,161 --> 00:37:33,642 People think that Pirates of the Caribbean 554 00:37:33,686 --> 00:37:36,776 was like the best adaptation of a Disneyland ride, 555 00:37:36,819 --> 00:37:39,909 but I really don't think Tomorrowland got enough credit. 556 00:37:39,953 --> 00:37:42,608 Tomorrowlandis a land, not a ride. 557 00:37:42,651 --> 00:37:45,263 Hmm. That's actually a really good point. 558 00:37:49,354 --> 00:37:52,052 Would you wanna go sometime? 559 00:37:52,095 --> 00:37:53,793 I have... I have a Platinum Pass. 560 00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:57,187 Oi! Krillholtz! 561 00:38:00,930 --> 00:38:02,280 Yeah. Yup. 562 00:38:04,978 --> 00:38:05,979 Really quick. 563 00:38:06,806 --> 00:38:08,503 You ready to go? 564 00:38:08,547 --> 00:38:11,637 I mean, yes, but technically I have like two more hours of this. 565 00:38:13,769 --> 00:38:14,814 Here you go. 566 00:38:16,032 --> 00:38:17,817 For when you have real keys one day. 567 00:38:23,649 --> 00:38:25,085 Clara. 568 00:38:25,128 --> 00:38:27,168 Okay, don't be weird about it. It's just a keychain. 569 00:38:29,132 --> 00:38:30,220 Okay, let's go. 570 00:38:31,483 --> 00:38:33,615 Where are we going? Where do you wanna go? 571 00:38:33,659 --> 00:38:36,488 Wherever your heart desires. 572 00:38:36,531 --> 00:38:37,532 Okay. 573 00:38:40,143 --> 00:38:42,711 - Palm Springs? - What's in Palm Springs? 574 00:38:43,712 --> 00:38:46,585 I don't know. It's pretty far. 575 00:38:46,628 --> 00:38:48,804 Ooh, maybe we could get mochis from Trader Joe's. 576 00:38:48,848 --> 00:38:50,850 No, fuck that. We're going to Palm Springs. 577 00:39:10,435 --> 00:39:11,697 My dear... 578 00:39:13,525 --> 00:39:15,353 I don't do deep breaths. 579 00:39:15,396 --> 00:39:18,138 Just breathe. Look. He's right there. It's gonna be super simple. 580 00:39:18,181 --> 00:39:21,881 Palm Springs, Palm Springs, Palm Springs. 581 00:39:32,326 --> 00:39:33,849 Oh, my God. 582 00:39:33,893 --> 00:39:38,288 I heard acid can get, like, stuck in your spinal column 583 00:39:38,332 --> 00:39:39,942 and then you have flashbacks forever. 584 00:39:39,986 --> 00:39:43,772 Yeah. Less talking and more drugs, please. 585 00:39:43,816 --> 00:39:47,254 Maybe when we're home, when we're in like a really familiar environment... 586 00:39:50,388 --> 00:39:51,606 You're welcome. 587 00:40:09,363 --> 00:40:10,799 The colors. 588 00:40:12,366 --> 00:40:15,369 Lango Faringi! 589 00:40:21,506 --> 00:40:25,292 Snucky plonko! 590 00:40:29,427 --> 00:40:31,124 Garmu! 591 00:40:44,224 --> 00:40:45,791 Are mine too blue? 592 00:40:47,967 --> 00:40:48,968 Huh. 593 00:40:50,491 --> 00:40:52,885 I think it means you have enough oxygen. 594 00:40:54,060 --> 00:40:56,018 Or it means something is wrong with me, 595 00:40:56,062 --> 00:40:58,325 and that's why I'm always really cold. 596 00:41:01,328 --> 00:41:02,982 Is this betters? 597 00:41:11,251 --> 00:41:14,994 What am I gonna do when I'm freezing in Boston without you? 598 00:41:17,300 --> 00:41:19,912 Wear a jacket made of my skin. 599 00:41:24,525 --> 00:41:25,744 Okay, but... 600 00:41:27,441 --> 00:41:29,617 how am I gonna make friends? 601 00:41:29,661 --> 00:41:33,708 What are you talking about? You're gonna make so many new friends. 602 00:41:33,752 --> 00:41:37,451 I'm not cool and confident like you. 603 00:41:37,495 --> 00:41:40,498 I can't just move somewhere and figure everything out. 604 00:41:41,150 --> 00:41:42,935 Are you kidding me? 605 00:41:42,978 --> 00:41:45,503 I have nothing figured out. You, you have... 606 00:41:46,939 --> 00:41:48,506 this whole path. 607 00:41:51,073 --> 00:41:52,161 I really don't. 608 00:41:53,772 --> 00:41:55,513 At least you have a plan. 609 00:41:56,209 --> 00:41:58,951 I suck at making plans. 610 00:41:58,994 --> 00:42:00,779 I don't even know what I care about. 611 00:42:02,302 --> 00:42:04,304 What about canary school? 612 00:42:05,392 --> 00:42:08,613 Like studying birds? 613 00:42:20,363 --> 00:42:22,670 -I meant... You know what I meant? -Hmm? 614 00:42:22,714 --> 00:42:24,411 I meant culinary. 615 00:42:24,454 --> 00:42:29,459 I made dinner for you one time. Once. 616 00:42:29,503 --> 00:42:33,594 Yeah, but you'd be like the coolest chef on the planet... 617 00:42:33,638 --> 00:42:37,076 like with a bunch of tattoos, getting to cook pasta all day. 618 00:42:51,917 --> 00:42:53,571 I miss my family. 619 00:42:56,704 --> 00:42:58,097 You can have mine. 620 00:43:01,622 --> 00:43:02,928 Can I meet them? 621 00:43:04,320 --> 00:43:05,670 You really want to? 622 00:43:06,975 --> 00:43:08,063 I really do. 623 00:43:12,981 --> 00:43:13,982 Hey. 624 00:43:14,766 --> 00:43:15,767 Hmm? 625 00:43:19,858 --> 00:43:21,294 You're my best friend. 626 00:43:26,473 --> 00:43:28,127 You're my best friend. 627 00:43:39,878 --> 00:43:42,445 I learned about Fresno once during social studies. 628 00:43:42,489 --> 00:43:44,404 It was part of the Gold Rush. 629 00:43:44,447 --> 00:43:46,624 Interesting. But I don't think it was. 630 00:43:48,060 --> 00:43:49,714 Well, maybe I'm confused. 631 00:43:49,757 --> 00:43:52,040 Maybe Fresno is just famous for having a bunch of whorehouses. 632 00:43:52,064 --> 00:43:53,369 Agnes. 633 00:43:55,415 --> 00:43:58,505 I, uh... I drove through Fresno once on my way to San Francisco. 634 00:43:58,548 --> 00:44:00,159 It looked really nice. 635 00:44:00,202 --> 00:44:01,900 Oh. Well, that's because you didn't stop. 636 00:44:03,728 --> 00:44:05,904 So, how long have you been here? 637 00:44:05,947 --> 00:44:08,036 - A month and a half. - Oh, do you like it? 638 00:44:08,080 --> 00:44:11,344 Yeah. I'm still tryin' to figure everything out, but yeah. 639 00:44:11,387 --> 00:44:12,954 How did you and April meet? 640 00:44:12,998 --> 00:44:14,608 How about you let her chew her food, Mom? 641 00:44:14,652 --> 00:44:17,437 No, Mom. That was such a great question. 642 00:44:17,480 --> 00:44:20,048 I mean, considering she's fucking Nick. 643 00:44:22,572 --> 00:44:24,444 I am seriously going to fuck you up. 644 00:44:24,487 --> 00:44:26,054 - Girls! - Maybe I should go. 645 00:44:26,098 --> 00:44:27,621 No! Agnes should go. 646 00:44:27,665 --> 00:44:29,381 Why are you mad at me? You should be mad at her! 647 00:44:29,405 --> 00:44:31,233 - You're insane. - I'm in love. 648 00:44:31,277 --> 00:44:32,670 With my ex-boyfriend! 649 00:44:32,713 --> 00:44:34,715 You mean with her current boyfriend, you dumbass! 650 00:44:34,759 --> 00:44:36,456 Okay, I'm sorry. She loves Nick? 651 00:44:36,499 --> 00:44:38,153 Stay out of it, slut! 652 00:44:38,197 --> 00:44:41,679 All right. Are you really seeing him? 653 00:44:47,641 --> 00:44:50,905 Thank you. Thank you for the salmon. 654 00:44:50,949 --> 00:44:52,951 - Good riddance. - Clara... 655 00:44:54,300 --> 00:44:55,605 Suck my dick, Agnes. 656 00:44:55,649 --> 00:44:57,172 - You suck my dick. - You suck my dick. 657 00:44:57,216 --> 00:44:58,584 - You suck my dick! - No, you suck my dick! 658 00:44:58,608 --> 00:45:00,872 Enough with the dick sucking! 659 00:45:23,808 --> 00:45:26,724 Wow. This is impressive wrapping. 660 00:45:36,603 --> 00:45:37,822 Are you sayin' I'm smelly? 661 00:45:38,387 --> 00:45:39,475 Sometimes. 662 00:45:41,347 --> 00:45:43,566 Do you want your real present? 663 00:45:43,610 --> 00:45:44,611 Yes. 664 00:45:48,789 --> 00:45:50,008 For you. 665 00:45:56,014 --> 00:45:59,321 - You love it? - No way! No way! 666 00:45:59,365 --> 00:46:02,107 - It's limited edition. - I know. I love it! 667 00:46:02,150 --> 00:46:05,197 Holy cow! Yeah! 668 00:46:05,588 --> 00:46:07,025 No! Stop! 669 00:46:08,678 --> 00:46:11,246 I don't wanna smell like a boy! 670 00:46:15,729 --> 00:46:18,036 Spare some shampoo, Dumbledore? 671 00:46:18,079 --> 00:46:19,820 Oh. 672 00:46:19,864 --> 00:46:23,563 You mean this bottle of Pantene, which is actually a horcrux? 673 00:46:24,172 --> 00:46:26,827 AccioPantene. 674 00:46:26,871 --> 00:46:29,525 Wingardium leviosaPantene. 675 00:46:29,569 --> 00:46:31,701 ProtegoPantene. 676 00:46:31,745 --> 00:46:33,878 Expecto patronusPantene. 677 00:46:39,057 --> 00:46:42,060 - Do you like this manly beard? - Yes, I do. 678 00:46:57,858 --> 00:46:59,425 I love you. 679 00:47:00,774 --> 00:47:02,558 I love you harder. 680 00:48:01,226 --> 00:48:02,705 - Great. Yeah. - Did you see that? 681 00:48:02,749 --> 00:48:05,012 -I thought... -Yeah, right. It's beginner's luck. 682 00:48:05,056 --> 00:48:07,885 -You look so cute. You're so cute. -Natch. 683 00:48:21,855 --> 00:48:23,596 Santa Barbara's not that far. 684 00:48:24,597 --> 00:48:26,686 I could come see you on the weekends. 685 00:48:26,991 --> 00:48:27,992 Yeah. 686 00:48:47,054 --> 00:48:50,101 So should I just invite Nick, or... That's not funny. 687 00:48:50,144 --> 00:48:52,712 - I think it'd be pretty funny. - Well, we don't. 688 00:48:54,105 --> 00:48:56,083 April gets to invite her friend. Why can't I invite mine? 689 00:48:56,107 --> 00:48:58,761 - I'm your friend, too, Ben. - Ah, but you're also Nick's. 690 00:48:58,805 --> 00:49:00,589 - Can you not say his name? - Why? 691 00:49:00,633 --> 00:49:02,287 Because we have rules. 692 00:49:04,506 --> 00:49:06,595 Oh, yeah, that's, uh... That's great. 693 00:49:06,639 --> 00:49:08,486 That's really gonna keep this whole thing together, huh? 694 00:49:08,510 --> 00:49:10,208 And speak of the devil. 695 00:49:11,035 --> 00:49:12,514 Okay. 696 00:49:12,558 --> 00:49:13,646 Hey, Nick, buddy. 697 00:49:13,689 --> 00:49:15,387 Hey, what's up? You wanna go eat? 698 00:49:15,430 --> 00:49:17,084 Yeah, actually I'm eating right now. 699 00:49:17,128 --> 00:49:19,391 - I 'm gonna fucking kill you. - Um... 700 00:49:19,434 --> 00:49:20,566 With my cousin. 701 00:49:22,350 --> 00:49:24,091 Ger... Gerald. 702 00:49:24,135 --> 00:49:26,789 You have a cousin named Gerald? 703 00:49:26,833 --> 00:49:28,637 Well, where are you at? I'll just come meet you. 704 00:49:28,661 --> 00:49:31,272 - He wants to meet up. - Tell him you're far away, dingus. 705 00:49:31,316 --> 00:49:34,362 I'm... I'm far away. At a fair. 706 00:49:34,406 --> 00:49:35,581 - You're at a fair? - No. 707 00:49:35,624 --> 00:49:37,322 - Don't say "affair." - Not "affair." 708 00:49:37,365 --> 00:49:40,716 A fair, as in like a fair with a Fer... Ferris wheel. 709 00:49:40,760 --> 00:49:42,022 Not "affair." 710 00:49:42,066 --> 00:49:43,458 He's my cousin, that would be... 711 00:49:43,502 --> 00:49:45,504 That would be incest. 712 00:49:45,547 --> 00:49:46,679 And not the hot kind. 713 00:49:49,464 --> 00:49:51,075 You're digging a hole. 714 00:49:51,118 --> 00:49:53,314 Yeah, buddy, anyway, me and Gerald are just diggin' holes 715 00:49:53,338 --> 00:49:55,383 - at the fair, and, um... - Dude. 716 00:49:55,427 --> 00:49:56,994 How fucked up are you right now? 717 00:49:57,037 --> 00:49:58,317 You wanna hang up the phone now? 718 00:49:58,343 --> 00:49:59,755 I gotta... Gerald's... I gotta, man... 719 00:49:59,779 --> 00:50:01,346 I gotta go. I love you, though. 720 00:50:01,389 --> 00:50:03,739 Be safe. Bye! Bye. Bye. 721 00:50:03,783 --> 00:50:06,177 - What the fuck was that? - Why would you pick up? 722 00:50:06,220 --> 00:50:08,222 Oh, why would you put me in this position? 723 00:50:08,831 --> 00:50:10,311 How 'bout that? 724 00:50:20,452 --> 00:50:22,323 See how easy that was? 725 00:50:22,367 --> 00:50:24,195 That was... 726 00:50:24,238 --> 00:50:27,459 You guys are like two geniuses who use the pull-out method, you know? 727 00:50:27,502 --> 00:50:30,897 One day you're gonna fuck while you're ovulating, 728 00:50:30,940 --> 00:50:33,813 and you're going to have a baby. 729 00:50:33,856 --> 00:50:36,033 Well, I like the pull-out method, so... 730 00:50:39,601 --> 00:50:41,038 Holy shit. 731 00:50:42,387 --> 00:50:43,518 And he knows. 732 00:50:43,562 --> 00:50:44,954 Why is he calling you? 733 00:50:46,086 --> 00:50:47,305 I don't know. 734 00:50:47,348 --> 00:50:49,872 He's outside right now. With a machete. 735 00:50:49,916 --> 00:50:51,396 And he's gonna cut us into cubes, 736 00:50:51,439 --> 00:50:53,519 and he's gonna put us in trash cans all over the city. 737 00:50:55,965 --> 00:50:58,055 I'm gonna let it go to voicemail. 738 00:50:58,098 --> 00:50:59,708 You should see what he wants. 739 00:51:00,100 --> 00:51:01,623 What? 740 00:51:01,667 --> 00:51:02,668 What? 741 00:51:06,976 --> 00:51:08,021 Okay. 742 00:51:08,065 --> 00:51:09,066 Um... 743 00:51:10,110 --> 00:51:12,982 - Hello? - Hey, dawg. 744 00:51:13,026 --> 00:51:14,288 How can I help you? 745 00:51:14,332 --> 00:51:17,248 By not talking to me like you're a robot. 746 00:51:17,291 --> 00:51:19,728 - How can I help you, Nick? - That's better. 747 00:51:21,078 --> 00:51:22,688 Thank you. 748 00:51:22,731 --> 00:51:25,038 I just wanted to call and say thanks for the text. 749 00:51:25,082 --> 00:51:26,953 I didn't know what to write back. 750 00:51:26,996 --> 00:51:28,868 - Uh-huh. - So I just called instead, 751 00:51:28,911 --> 00:51:31,914 which, I guess, creates the same kinda problem. 752 00:51:31,958 --> 00:51:34,526 Yeah, it kinda does. So, um... 753 00:51:34,569 --> 00:51:39,618 Hey, I'm sorry about Clara. 754 00:51:39,661 --> 00:51:42,882 You know, it just... It happened really fast and... 755 00:51:42,925 --> 00:51:47,321 Yeah. Um, you don't need to explain anything. 756 00:51:47,365 --> 00:51:49,280 Ben says that she's a great girl. 757 00:51:51,108 --> 00:51:52,109 Well... 758 00:51:58,027 --> 00:51:59,028 Okay. 759 00:51:59,942 --> 00:52:00,943 Bye. 760 00:52:02,771 --> 00:52:03,946 Bye, April. 761 00:52:09,952 --> 00:52:14,087 You just really felt the need to text him "Happy Birthday"? 762 00:52:14,131 --> 00:52:18,265 You know, me talking to him or not talking to him wasn't specified rules. 763 00:52:18,309 --> 00:52:21,268 Because it's... so obvious. 764 00:52:25,968 --> 00:52:27,579 Are you still in love with him? 765 00:52:27,622 --> 00:52:28,623 No. 766 00:52:30,495 --> 00:52:31,626 Are you in love with him? 767 00:52:31,670 --> 00:52:32,671 No. 768 00:52:33,802 --> 00:52:35,152 I would tell you that. 769 00:52:39,243 --> 00:52:40,809 There's a party on Saturday. 770 00:52:41,941 --> 00:52:45,249 You wanna go together, like, in disguise? 771 00:52:45,292 --> 00:52:48,208 Is it that Bruno Shabaz thing? 772 00:52:48,252 --> 00:52:49,688 Yeah. You know about that? 773 00:52:49,731 --> 00:52:51,168 Yeah. 774 00:52:51,211 --> 00:52:52,604 Uh, Nick's going. 775 00:52:55,650 --> 00:52:57,957 Okay, so let's just skip it. 776 00:52:58,000 --> 00:53:00,612 I was probably just gonna go with him. 777 00:53:05,834 --> 00:53:06,835 Yeah. 778 00:53:12,972 --> 00:53:14,234 So... 779 00:53:15,279 --> 00:53:16,758 I'll just skip it. 780 00:53:17,281 --> 00:53:18,281 Cool. 781 00:53:21,981 --> 00:53:22,982 Cool. 782 00:53:34,298 --> 00:53:37,039 Well, whatever. I'm so over high school parties anyways. 783 00:53:38,302 --> 00:53:41,653 - Yeah, me, too. - Yeah, we've evolved. 784 00:53:41,696 --> 00:53:44,525 Your ID is kinda bootleg, though. 785 00:53:44,569 --> 00:53:46,658 It says you're vision impaired? 786 00:53:46,701 --> 00:53:49,008 I did that for realism. 787 00:53:49,051 --> 00:53:51,663 Okay, but it says that you're 5'11". 788 00:53:52,533 --> 00:53:54,405 That was a typo. 789 00:53:54,448 --> 00:53:56,842 You should've got it done from these guys that we met. 790 00:53:56,885 --> 00:53:59,366 - They're Romanian. - Mmm-hmm. 791 00:53:59,410 --> 00:54:03,152 I mean, if I don't get in, we can just do something else. 792 00:54:03,196 --> 00:54:05,720 You're gonna get in. It's gonna be fun. 793 00:54:06,678 --> 00:54:08,288 Yay. 794 00:54:08,332 --> 00:54:11,465 Oh, we're gonna miss you so much! 795 00:54:11,509 --> 00:54:13,902 Oh, you have to visit us in Miami! 796 00:54:13,946 --> 00:54:15,164 Oh, my God. 797 00:54:15,643 --> 00:54:17,254 Oh, my God! 798 00:54:48,328 --> 00:54:50,243 Bold move, Krillholtz. 799 00:54:50,287 --> 00:54:51,810 Are they in the vicinity? 800 00:54:51,853 --> 00:54:53,986 Why? What do you have planned? 801 00:54:54,029 --> 00:54:56,249 Nothing. I wanna stay as far away as humanly possible. 802 00:54:56,293 --> 00:54:58,120 Right. Okay, they're over there, 803 00:54:58,164 --> 00:55:00,577 - so we're gonna go this way and have a great time... - Thanks, Ben. 804 00:55:00,601 --> 00:55:01,733 That's not chill. 805 00:55:12,918 --> 00:55:14,049 What'd you expect? 806 00:55:21,143 --> 00:55:22,710 - Thank you. - Mmm. 807 00:55:25,452 --> 00:55:27,324 Pass me that bottle of brown stuff. 808 00:55:27,367 --> 00:55:30,239 I'm not passing you licorice schnapps. 809 00:55:30,283 --> 00:55:31,328 Why not? 810 00:55:33,852 --> 00:55:35,723 Because you're not a homeless person. 811 00:55:37,551 --> 00:55:39,031 Ugh! 812 00:55:41,338 --> 00:55:43,992 - Well, that's rich. - What? 813 00:55:47,953 --> 00:55:49,084 Ah. 814 00:55:49,911 --> 00:55:51,086 Hmm. 815 00:55:51,130 --> 00:55:53,350 - Are you okay? - Yeah. 816 00:55:53,393 --> 00:55:57,441 It's just, uh... that girl Ben was with earlier... 817 00:55:57,484 --> 00:55:59,268 You mean your ex-girlfriend? 818 00:56:01,053 --> 00:56:03,185 How do you know about that? 819 00:56:03,229 --> 00:56:04,883 I have the Internet. 820 00:56:06,972 --> 00:56:09,017 Who's Brad Pitt? 821 00:56:09,061 --> 00:56:15,284 Um, that is my friend, Olivia, from home. 822 00:56:15,328 --> 00:56:19,027 We're just, like, obsessed with Fight Club. 823 00:56:19,071 --> 00:56:20,942 Maybe we should just go. 824 00:56:20,986 --> 00:56:23,684 Why should we go? She can go. 825 00:56:23,728 --> 00:56:25,706 Right, but you know what? I'll split the Lyft with ya, 826 00:56:25,730 --> 00:56:27,838 we can get some food on the way. It'll be dope. Let's bounce. Let's go. 827 00:56:27,862 --> 00:56:31,126 I just got here. Why is everyone always tryin' to get me to leave the party? 828 00:56:31,170 --> 00:56:35,000 Everyone isn't. Ben is, in order to save lifelong relationships. 829 00:56:35,043 --> 00:56:36,523 You know what? Let's just stay. 830 00:56:38,046 --> 00:56:39,221 And have fun. 831 00:56:41,180 --> 00:56:42,486 Yeah, okay. Fuck it. 832 00:56:42,529 --> 00:56:44,052 - Let's have fun. Cheers. - Yeah. 833 00:56:45,445 --> 00:56:46,664 Do you wanna go? 834 00:56:46,707 --> 00:56:48,535 No. Why? 835 00:56:48,579 --> 00:56:51,712 I mean, I don't know if you're uncomfortable she's here. 836 00:56:51,756 --> 00:56:53,061 I'm not uncomfortable. 837 00:56:54,323 --> 00:56:55,934 Okay. 838 00:56:55,977 --> 00:56:57,239 Is it uncomfortable for you? 839 00:56:58,023 --> 00:56:59,024 No. 840 00:57:01,243 --> 00:57:02,636 I'm not uncomfortable at all. 841 00:57:10,514 --> 00:57:14,126 You know, there's a, like, a really wicked EDM scene in Boulder, 842 00:57:14,169 --> 00:57:18,478 and they do, like, these insane laser shows at Red Rocks. 843 00:57:18,522 --> 00:57:20,872 I didn't know you were a laser enthusiast. 844 00:57:22,177 --> 00:57:24,702 I'm a huge laser enthusiast. 845 00:57:29,533 --> 00:57:31,926 That's one of the many things that you don't know about me. 846 00:57:33,493 --> 00:57:34,755 I'm sorry. 847 00:57:36,757 --> 00:57:39,934 Man, it's gonna be weird when we don't see each other regularly. 848 00:57:43,982 --> 00:57:45,897 I mean, you could always come visit me. 849 00:57:47,376 --> 00:57:48,856 For sure. 850 00:57:48,900 --> 00:57:51,468 I'm gonna bring my laser arsenal. 851 00:57:51,511 --> 00:57:53,295 - I mean, that was implied. - Yeah. 852 00:57:53,339 --> 00:57:55,515 One goes like, "Pew-pew-pew." 853 00:57:55,559 --> 00:57:57,561 The others are like, "Zing-zong, zing-zong." 854 00:57:57,604 --> 00:57:59,171 - Your lasers make noises? - Uh-huh. 855 00:57:59,214 --> 00:58:01,782 Okay. That's... That's cool. 856 00:58:26,241 --> 00:58:27,373 Oh. 857 00:58:29,375 --> 00:58:30,768 Let's just go say hi. 858 00:58:31,246 --> 00:58:32,639 Uh... 859 00:58:32,683 --> 00:58:34,380 It's just weirder not to. 860 00:58:36,643 --> 00:58:39,472 - Hey, guys. - Oh! Sorry. 861 00:58:39,516 --> 00:58:42,954 This is the dance party area. For dancers. 862 00:58:45,347 --> 00:58:48,568 - Yo! Nick, what's up, man? - What's up, man? 863 00:58:48,612 --> 00:58:50,527 Um, April, this is Clara. 864 00:58:51,745 --> 00:58:53,355 Nice to meet you. 865 00:58:54,966 --> 00:58:56,533 Nice to meet you, too, Claire. 866 00:58:57,011 --> 00:58:58,752 It's Clara. 867 00:58:58,796 --> 00:59:01,102 You have a very firm handshake. 868 00:59:01,146 --> 00:59:03,540 - Very strong. - So do you. 869 00:59:03,583 --> 00:59:06,934 - Do you work out? - Do I work out my hands? 870 00:59:06,978 --> 00:59:10,851 Okay. I'm so glad we can all be here, and it's not awkward. 871 00:59:10,895 --> 00:59:12,026 Right. 872 00:59:12,070 --> 00:59:14,812 Not all of us are as drunk as you are. 873 00:59:14,855 --> 00:59:19,338 Well, it is the last party of our high school. 874 00:59:19,381 --> 00:59:22,080 Seems like you're having a difficult time moving on. 875 00:59:22,123 --> 00:59:26,040 Should we get shots? I want shots. Shots. 876 00:59:26,084 --> 00:59:27,912 - Yes, please. Nick? - Yes! Can't wait. 877 00:59:27,955 --> 00:59:30,131 Yes. That would be great. I'll take one. 878 00:59:31,045 --> 00:59:33,439 Can we go, please? 879 00:59:33,482 --> 00:59:35,180 Actually, we're just gonna go. 880 00:59:35,223 --> 00:59:36,224 Yeah? 881 00:59:45,669 --> 00:59:47,235 Go ahead and say it. 882 00:59:48,497 --> 00:59:49,934 Say what? 883 00:59:49,977 --> 00:59:50,978 Everything. 884 00:59:52,632 --> 00:59:53,894 I'm an idiot. 885 00:59:56,114 --> 00:59:57,613 I don't think we should do this in front of Steve. 886 00:59:57,637 --> 00:59:59,683 - Oh, fuck Steve! Come on. - Jesus! 887 00:59:59,726 --> 01:00:02,207 This is what you've been waiting for. Lay it on me. 888 01:00:02,250 --> 01:00:04,339 Yeah, well, what are you? A dock worker? 889 01:00:04,383 --> 01:00:07,647 - Lay it on me! - No yelling in the Lyft, please. 890 01:00:07,691 --> 01:00:10,955 Look, I don't have to tell you you're an idiot. You know you're an idiot. 891 01:00:10,998 --> 01:00:13,237 - Well, she's the one who started it. - We're not six years old, April! 892 01:00:13,261 --> 01:00:15,307 Oh, don't yell in the Lyft, Ben! 893 01:00:15,350 --> 01:00:17,004 I thought you wanted me to lay it on you. 894 01:00:17,048 --> 01:00:18,310 Well, I changed my mind. 895 01:00:18,353 --> 01:00:20,312 - What is it you want? - I don't know. 896 01:00:30,148 --> 01:00:31,976 - Sorry. - Get out! 897 01:00:32,019 --> 01:00:34,065 Like, get out here? 898 01:00:41,855 --> 01:00:43,074 Yeah, let's stop. 899 01:00:54,128 --> 01:00:55,913 - It's there. - What? 900 01:00:55,956 --> 01:00:56,957 Nothing. 901 01:00:58,959 --> 01:00:59,960 Okay. 902 01:01:06,837 --> 01:01:09,970 - I'm gonna order a new car. - Absolutely. 903 01:01:16,150 --> 01:01:17,978 - Surging. - Is it? 904 01:02:16,297 --> 01:02:18,386 Are you here to murder me? 905 01:02:18,430 --> 01:02:21,215 I don't think murderers tell their victims they're outside. 906 01:02:35,360 --> 01:02:36,578 Where's Clara? 907 01:02:39,190 --> 01:02:41,714 I don't know. She's at home. 908 01:02:43,847 --> 01:02:45,370 Did you leave with Ben last night? 909 01:02:45,413 --> 01:02:47,764 We split a Lyft. 910 01:02:47,807 --> 01:02:50,767 Clara's tits looked pretty vibrant last night. 911 01:02:50,810 --> 01:02:52,594 Can we not talk about her? 912 01:02:54,118 --> 01:02:55,119 Why? 913 01:02:55,946 --> 01:02:57,425 She's your girlfriend. 914 01:02:58,296 --> 01:02:59,819 She's not my girlfriend. 915 01:03:01,081 --> 01:03:03,431 Then what is she? 916 01:03:03,475 --> 01:03:05,433 This isn't the conversation I wanna have. 917 01:03:06,783 --> 01:03:08,828 What conversation did you wanna have? 918 01:03:14,965 --> 01:03:16,705 I think about you all the time. 919 01:03:24,235 --> 01:03:27,064 And then, seeing you last night... 920 01:03:27,107 --> 01:03:28,587 You broke up with me! 921 01:03:28,630 --> 01:03:31,111 - You broke up with me. - After you brought it up. 922 01:03:32,417 --> 01:03:33,810 That was hypothetical. 923 01:03:36,595 --> 01:03:38,118 Don't you miss me at all? 924 01:03:49,173 --> 01:03:50,565 Oh. 925 01:03:50,609 --> 01:03:52,741 Okay. Oh! 926 01:04:30,388 --> 01:04:32,216 We out, motherfucka! 927 01:04:32,259 --> 01:04:34,174 Fuck you, Ms. Leinart! 928 01:04:34,218 --> 01:04:36,220 - Fuck you! - Fuck you! 929 01:04:36,263 --> 01:04:39,527 - I hate your blazers! - I hate you, Dad! 930 01:04:40,833 --> 01:04:42,922 Attention. 931 01:04:42,966 --> 01:04:46,795 April Krillholtz eats hummus with her fingers. 932 01:04:46,839 --> 01:04:51,670 Attention. Nick Ellis can't pronounce the word "arugula." 933 01:04:51,713 --> 01:04:53,237 Arugyula. 934 01:04:53,280 --> 01:04:55,674 - Arugula. - Arugyula. 935 01:04:55,717 --> 01:04:57,981 Arugula. 936 01:04:58,024 --> 01:05:01,245 Attention. April Krillholtz used to flirt with me in history class. 937 01:05:01,288 --> 01:05:04,335 Oh, my God. You texted me cute little monkey emojis 938 01:05:04,378 --> 01:05:06,728 while we were learning about genocide. 939 01:05:07,816 --> 01:05:09,775 Yeah. 940 01:05:09,818 --> 01:05:12,125 It's 'cause I had a demented crush on you. 941 01:05:13,953 --> 01:05:16,390 I'm pretty sure that you had a crush on me, too. 942 01:05:20,786 --> 01:05:23,832 Attention. I'm pretty sure that you had a crush on me, too. 943 01:05:25,878 --> 01:05:27,227 I don't recall. 944 01:05:30,143 --> 01:05:31,579 So then, we just... 945 01:05:33,451 --> 01:05:36,758 dated for two years after that because... 946 01:05:42,851 --> 01:05:44,853 I had a huge crush on you. 947 01:06:29,811 --> 01:06:32,814 - You fucking lying whore. - What? 948 01:06:32,858 --> 01:06:34,207 He broke up with me. 949 01:06:41,301 --> 01:06:43,477 Hey! 950 01:06:43,521 --> 01:06:45,436 - He just showed up at my house. - Oh, really? 951 01:06:45,479 --> 01:06:47,481 How long after you showed up at the party? 952 01:06:47,525 --> 01:06:51,268 - That's not why I went. - Okay. Why'd you go? 953 01:06:51,311 --> 01:06:55,576 I had English with Bruno Shabaz. You don't even know him! 954 01:06:55,620 --> 01:06:57,796 Bruno Shabaz is not the point! 955 01:06:57,839 --> 01:06:59,643 If it were the other way around, you would've gone. 956 01:06:59,667 --> 01:07:01,843 You don't fucking know that! 957 01:07:01,887 --> 01:07:04,759 You loved boxing me out of my own life. 958 01:07:04,803 --> 01:07:08,372 And you loved making me your creepy boyfriend placeholder. 959 01:07:08,415 --> 01:07:09,808 That's not true! 960 01:07:09,851 --> 01:07:12,245 Using me so you could sneak your way back to him! 961 01:07:12,289 --> 01:07:13,962 Well, at least you got everything you wanted, 962 01:07:13,986 --> 01:07:16,902 acting like... Like he was your wife and I was your mistress. 963 01:07:16,945 --> 01:07:19,078 I'm sure you would've loved that, April. 964 01:07:19,122 --> 01:07:21,341 What the fuck does that mean? 965 01:07:22,821 --> 01:07:25,780 I am not the one that's fucked like half of Fresno. 966 01:07:33,788 --> 01:07:37,923 Have fun on your bus ride back to Mommy's. 967 01:07:37,966 --> 01:07:41,187 I was with him for two years. You were with him for two months. 968 01:07:48,020 --> 01:07:49,630 You know you're fired, right? 969 01:07:51,110 --> 01:07:56,072 You've, uh, exhibited limited personal growth, so... 970 01:08:04,167 --> 01:08:05,385 We have to tell Nick. 971 01:08:06,734 --> 01:08:08,127 About you and Clara? 972 01:08:08,171 --> 01:08:10,216 About you and me. 973 01:08:10,260 --> 01:08:12,131 That's a hilarious joke. 974 01:08:12,175 --> 01:08:16,222 Just to be clear, you were also in those bushes, buddy. 975 01:08:17,658 --> 01:08:20,618 I'm developing an ulcer talking to you right now. 976 01:08:20,661 --> 01:08:23,534 You're 18 years old. You're not developing an ulcer. 977 01:08:23,577 --> 01:08:26,145 Funny story. I actually had an ulcer when I was 12. 978 01:08:26,189 --> 01:08:27,886 You should see a doctor, then. 979 01:08:27,929 --> 01:08:28,930 I did. 980 01:08:30,410 --> 01:08:32,891 He told me to avoid stressful situations. 981 01:08:32,934 --> 01:08:35,154 He's gonna find out eventually. 982 01:08:35,198 --> 01:08:40,246 Well, isn't that the most familiar sentence in the history of this fucking summer. I... 983 01:08:41,813 --> 01:08:43,510 I know. I just... 984 01:08:44,424 --> 01:08:46,426 We're all leaving. 985 01:08:46,470 --> 01:08:49,013 Right. And before we go to college, we should all hate each other. 986 01:08:49,037 --> 01:08:51,214 Forever. 987 01:08:51,257 --> 01:08:54,130 I feel like if we have this shit hanging over our heads, 988 01:08:54,173 --> 01:08:56,262 then we would hate each other forever. 989 01:08:56,306 --> 01:08:58,525 Shit that you created. 990 01:09:00,353 --> 01:09:02,877 At least this gives us some kind of chance. 991 01:09:07,186 --> 01:09:08,796 We could do it together. 992 01:09:11,408 --> 01:09:12,887 Strength in numbers. 993 01:09:30,731 --> 01:09:32,080 I feel like an asshole. 994 01:09:33,560 --> 01:09:35,083 You're not the asshole. 995 01:09:36,781 --> 01:09:37,912 Obviously. 996 01:09:39,087 --> 01:09:40,524 You're the asshole. 997 01:09:45,311 --> 01:09:47,618 Okay, well, there's one other thing. 998 01:09:53,014 --> 01:09:54,407 I'm friends with Clara. 999 01:09:55,234 --> 01:09:57,932 Or, we were friends. 1000 01:09:58,585 --> 01:09:59,934 Are you Brad Pitt? 1001 01:10:02,633 --> 01:10:05,679 I wasn't trying to hurt you. Or... 1002 01:10:07,115 --> 01:10:10,684 I was. I was trying to hurt you at first... 1003 01:10:12,251 --> 01:10:14,035 but then I just really liked her. 1004 01:10:23,697 --> 01:10:26,047 Please don't let me ruin things for you and Ben. 1005 01:11:44,082 --> 01:11:45,605 Oh. 1006 01:11:55,093 --> 01:11:56,094 Whenever you're ready. 1007 01:12:16,897 --> 01:12:17,898 Hey. 1008 01:12:19,465 --> 01:12:20,771 Want half this cookie? 1009 01:12:23,426 --> 01:12:25,253 Is it sativa or an indica? 1010 01:12:28,518 --> 01:12:30,346 It's a hybrid. 1011 01:12:39,093 --> 01:12:40,094 No hat. 1012 01:12:41,879 --> 01:12:43,010 What do you think? 1013 01:12:47,145 --> 01:12:49,669 I'll be home in two months. 1014 01:12:49,713 --> 01:12:52,411 I've never been away from you for more than two weeks. 1015 01:12:52,455 --> 01:12:54,935 Seems like the world will keep spinning. 1016 01:12:54,979 --> 01:12:57,087 Yeah, you have this little strumpet to keep you company. 1017 01:12:57,111 --> 01:12:59,287 - Kiss my fat ass. - You kiss my fat ass. 1018 01:12:59,331 --> 01:13:00,961 - You kiss my fat ass. - You kiss my fat ass. 1019 01:13:00,985 --> 01:13:03,291 - You kiss my fat ass. - You kiss my fat ass. 1020 01:13:03,335 --> 01:13:05,337 No! We were going to have one dinner 1021 01:13:05,381 --> 01:13:08,645 that does not end in talk of kissing asses and sucking dicks. 1022 01:13:08,688 --> 01:13:10,840 Your mouths are staying away from each other's genitals. 1023 01:13:10,864 --> 01:13:12,344 Your mouths are staying on your faces 1024 01:13:12,388 --> 01:13:14,651 and eating this fucking salmon that I made. 1025 01:13:14,694 --> 01:13:16,566 You're my daughters, my only two daughters, 1026 01:13:16,609 --> 01:13:19,830 and you're growing up, and April is going off to college, 1027 01:13:19,873 --> 01:13:23,660 and we are gonna make a very fucking nice memory! 1028 01:13:23,703 --> 01:13:26,619 All right, they do this in France. 1029 01:13:26,663 --> 01:13:27,664 Ooh! 1030 01:13:28,534 --> 01:13:30,057 I'll clean that up. 1031 01:13:30,101 --> 01:13:31,494 All right. Cheers. 1032 01:13:31,537 --> 01:13:33,583 Mom, you are so cool right now. 1033 01:13:33,626 --> 01:13:35,411 Yeah, I know. Thank you. 1034 01:13:38,109 --> 01:13:40,720 Just so you know, I'm over Nick. 1035 01:13:42,983 --> 01:13:44,463 You can have him, if you want. 1036 01:13:44,507 --> 01:13:47,423 Oof. He peaked in the 11th grade. 1037 01:13:47,466 --> 01:13:50,469 But there's a boy in my class I've been texting. 1038 01:13:50,513 --> 01:13:52,471 Isn't that a little young for you? 1039 01:13:52,515 --> 01:13:54,299 He shaves. 1040 01:14:01,915 --> 01:14:05,179 - Hey, is April here? I just need to talk to her for... - Ugh! 1041 01:14:07,573 --> 01:14:09,227 That girl's here! 1042 01:14:25,373 --> 01:14:28,812 I... I kinda had this whole speech planned... 1043 01:14:28,855 --> 01:14:30,596 but I'm not really sure if it was any good. 1044 01:14:32,772 --> 01:14:36,036 I'd still be interested in hearing it. 1045 01:14:37,908 --> 01:14:39,213 Well... 1046 01:14:40,127 --> 01:14:42,521 basically the main thing was, 1047 01:14:42,565 --> 01:14:45,481 I'm sorry for getting angry at you because you were upset. 1048 01:14:45,524 --> 01:14:48,048 That I was fucking your ex-boyfriend. 1049 01:14:49,006 --> 01:14:51,530 If you follow that. 1050 01:14:52,009 --> 01:14:53,314 I do. Yeah. 1051 01:14:54,620 --> 01:14:58,494 And I'm sorry for throwing Icee at your face. 1052 01:14:59,190 --> 01:15:00,713 You threw it at my boobs. 1053 01:15:02,106 --> 01:15:03,629 I was aiming for your face. 1054 01:15:05,805 --> 01:15:07,241 Well, I deserved it. 1055 01:15:09,330 --> 01:15:10,506 You were right. 1056 01:15:12,203 --> 01:15:15,511 I went to that party because I was jealous you were with him. 1057 01:15:16,512 --> 01:15:17,513 I know. 1058 01:15:19,993 --> 01:15:24,084 But really, I was jealous that he was with you. 1059 01:15:26,434 --> 01:15:28,349 I had a lot of fun with you this summer. 1060 01:15:30,830 --> 01:15:32,179 Me, too. 1061 01:15:35,269 --> 01:15:37,010 I'm sorry I fucked it up. 1062 01:15:39,012 --> 01:15:43,539 Well, can we un-fuck it up? I mean, when do you leave? 1063 01:15:45,366 --> 01:15:47,673 Tomorrow. At 3:00. 1064 01:15:48,413 --> 01:15:49,545 So... 1065 01:15:50,371 --> 01:15:51,372 Oh. 1066 01:15:53,897 --> 01:15:57,204 I was gonna show up at your door in the morning. 1067 01:15:58,641 --> 01:16:00,207 I was gonna drive there. 1068 01:16:01,948 --> 01:16:03,471 Because I drive now. 1069 01:16:06,431 --> 01:16:09,477 You got your license? Krillholtz! 1070 01:16:16,267 --> 01:16:17,268 So... 1071 01:16:18,225 --> 01:16:19,444 where are we going? 1072 01:16:19,487 --> 01:16:22,099 You're the one that's leaving. You choose. 1073 01:16:22,142 --> 01:16:24,797 - So you're staying in LA? - For now. 1074 01:16:24,841 --> 01:16:27,060 I'm thinking about checkin' out some canary schools. 1075 01:16:29,846 --> 01:16:32,196 'Cause I'll be back in November. 1076 01:16:32,239 --> 01:16:34,111 - Mmm-hmm. - And December. 1077 01:16:34,154 --> 01:16:36,679 And summer, so June, July, August. 1078 01:16:36,722 --> 01:16:38,289 And we can FaceTime. 1079 01:16:38,332 --> 01:16:41,205 So, like, a long-distance relationship. 1080 01:16:41,248 --> 01:16:44,817 Exactly. But without the sex. 1081 01:16:44,861 --> 01:16:48,342 Good. Because I love you, but I'm not gonna have sex with you. 1082 01:16:51,215 --> 01:16:52,259 What'd you say? 1083 01:16:53,609 --> 01:16:55,349 I said we are never fucking. 1084 01:16:57,134 --> 01:16:58,831 You said you loved me. 1085 01:17:00,833 --> 01:17:03,053 Oh, my God... Yeah, I love you. Don't ruin the moment. 1086 01:17:03,096 --> 01:17:06,056 But I want to ruin it! I love you, too. 1087 01:17:06,099 --> 01:17:09,537 I love you so much! 1088 01:17:10,713 --> 01:17:13,716 Okay, but you, you love me. 1089 01:17:13,759 --> 01:17:15,761 - Where are we going? - I don't know. 1090 01:17:19,025 --> 01:17:20,070 All right. 1091 01:17:21,637 --> 01:17:22,638 You love me. 1092 01:17:23,595 --> 01:17:24,683 Oh, God. 73623

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