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1
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Arriving at Slaughter Abbey in the Cotswolds
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00:00:08,560 --> 00:00:10,680
their home from home for the next few days
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00:00:10,800 --> 00:00:14,160
a bevy of beauties
from all four corners of the kingdom
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00:00:14,320 --> 00:00:17,000
united for the Miss United Britain contest.
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00:00:17,080 --> 00:00:21,880
Every gorgeous girl has their sights set
on being named the nation's supreme poppet.
6
00:00:22,240 --> 00:00:24,600
First off were this year's frontrunners.
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00:00:24,680 --> 00:00:26,960
Miss Walton-On-Thames, Diane Green.
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00:00:27,520 --> 00:00:32,160
Miss Belfast, Clodagh Kilpatrick,
is current holder of the Miss Swimsuit title.
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00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:34,880
Miss Cardiff. Sally Ann Jones.
10
00:00:34,960 --> 00:00:36,320
Oh, she looks happy to be here
11
00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:38,320
but not as happy as those photographers!
12
00:00:38,640 --> 00:00:42,200
Last but not least, Miss Glasgow,
Moira McDonald.
13
00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:45,040
This is only her second contest,
begging the question
14
00:00:45,120 --> 00:00:46,600
where has she been hiding?
15
00:00:46,840 --> 00:00:48,960
There to greet them was Lesley Canon
16
00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:50,720
nicknamed the Beauty King.
17
00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:52,440
All in the line of duty
18
00:00:52,560 --> 00:00:54,640
but what man doesn't envy his job?
19
00:00:55,440 --> 00:00:56,800
The line-up of the lovelies.
20
00:00:56,880 --> 00:00:58,360
A dozen pretty hopefuls.
21
00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:00,760
But no hint of competitive spirit here.
22
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It looks like they're already
becoming firm friends.
23
00:01:05,120 --> 00:01:07,520
I said to him,
you can ask me as many times as...
24
00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:11,480
Do you think she ran it up at home
on the sewing machine?
25
00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:12,720
Girls giggle
26
00:01:17,320 --> 00:01:19,760
And what are you looking for in a contestant?
27
00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:22,000
Well... Single, childless.
28
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5'6 to 5'9.
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Waist 22-24 inches.
30
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Hips 35-36.
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36-37 inch bust.
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Perfectly shaped legs. No flabby thighs.
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Good skin, teeth and hair.
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Chest out, Glasgow!
35
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Flaunt what Mother Nature gave youl!
36
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I'd ask Mother Nature for my money back.
37
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Girls giggle
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I suppose some rivalry is inevitable?
39
00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:48,720
Well, put a dozen goddesses together,
throw in a golden apple.
40
00:01:48,840 --> 00:01:50,200
What do you think?
— Quite.
41
00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:55,360
May I have a few photographs and perhaps
a few words from the three favourites?
42
00:01:55,600 --> 00:01:56,800
Yeah, be my guest.
43
00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:02,240
So, aside from your ambition to, um...
44
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“further the cause of
international friendship"
45
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why do you think you'll win?
46
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Take two guesses.
47
00:02:11,720 --> 00:02:12,760
Right...
48
00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:16,200
As an airline stewardess,
I've already travelled the world
49
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and I'm comfortable mixing with...
50
00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:20,040
the right sort.
51
00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:23,440
It's not just looks.
52
00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:25,360
Don't write this down, mind, but
53
00:02:25,480 --> 00:02:28,280
I've met ironing boards with more personality
than some of these.
54
00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:32,040
And how would you answer the charge
that it's demeaning to women?
55
00:02:32,160 --> 00:02:34,640
The winner will act as ambassadress
for the nation.
56
00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:37,720
Most go on to be actresses or models.
57
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What's degrading about that?
58
00:02:40,320 --> 00:02:41,280
They're jealous.
59
00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:43,400
I tell you what's demeaning.
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00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:45,920
Being tied to a kitchen sink
with a brood of ankle-biters.
61
00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:48,760
£3,000 buys a woman a lot of independence.
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I can't disagree with that.
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00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:54,960
Lovely!
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00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:56,960
CAMERA CLICKS
- That's it.
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Alright, room for everybody.
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Camera clicks
— girls laugh
67
00:03:03,640 --> 00:03:07,080
Come on, girls. You're on in 48 hours.
You're like spuds in a sack!
68
00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:09,360
Come on, fall in! Numerical order.
69
00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:11,320
Let's get the music on, please, darling.
70
00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:13,120
Where's Belfast?
71
00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:14,880
Anyone seen Belfast?
72
00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:16,680
Go and see where she's got to, will you?
73
00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:18,560
Jazz music plays
74
00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:20,920
He said numerical order.
75
00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:22,680
She can't even count to ten.
76
00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:24,840
Alright, come on, girls,
it's a beauty contest.
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00:03:24,920 --> 00:03:26,480
Shoulders back, hips forward.
78
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:29,720
She screams
79
00:03:29,920 --> 00:03:31,680
Girls scream
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00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:07,160
Camera clicks
81
00:04:08,320 --> 00:04:11,640
Her wristwatch stopped at 9:05pm last night.
82
00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:15,120
So we can assume that's when
she hit the water, if not time of death.
83
00:04:15,680 --> 00:04:18,120
Right. Did no one notice she was missing?
84
00:04:18,280 --> 00:04:19,880
The contestants had a rest morning
85
00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:22,320
SO No one noticed until
just before we found her.
86
00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:24,280
She must have fallen in.
87
00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:26,320
Apparently she couldn't swim, which is ironic
88
00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:28,440
considering she's... well, was Miss Swimsuit.
89
00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:30,160
Yes. Thank you, Mr Canon.
90
00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:31,400
We can take it from here.
91
00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:34,200
No indication of a sexual motive.
92
00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:37,080
Her clothes are undisturbed
and no sign of fight or flight.
93
00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:43,360
What have you got there?
— Hairs caught in the strap.
94
00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:46,120
Female, I deduce, by the length
95
00:04:46,280 --> 00:04:48,280
and black,
so they don't belong to the victim.
96
00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:51,880
Pulled out with force,
judging by traces of blood on the roots.
97
00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:53,720
So is the cause of death drowning?
98
00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:55,360
Moot at this juncture.
99
00:04:55,440 --> 00:04:57,080
Can you help me turn her, Sam?
100
00:04:58,360 --> 00:04:59,520
Sam?
101
00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:01,840
He sucks teeth
102
00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:03,360
He mutters
103
00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:11,760
Oh!
104
00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:14,360
Look at that.
105
00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:20,120
Cause of death
is a strike to the medulla oblongata.
106
00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:21,880
One blow will kill you instantly.
107
00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:24,800
Though it would require
some knowledge of anatomy.
108
00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:26,760
Either that or the killer struck lucky.
109
00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:28,000
So this is murder?
110
00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:29,480
Oh, I'm afraid so, yes.
111
00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:31,040
Camera clicks
112
00:05:31,440 --> 00:05:33,480
Could you have a "stab" at the murder weapon?
113
00:05:34,640 --> 00:05:35,680
Oh...
114
00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:37,120
Very good.
115
00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:39,400
Only that it's about half an inch in diameter
116
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and made a penetrating injury
between the occiput and C1
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causing radial splits.
118
00:05:44,440 --> 00:05:46,600
However, it has left...
119
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an oily residue.
120
00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:54,600
Right. Well, we should, um...
121
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Cordon the scene.
Draft in uniform to do a search.
122
00:05:58,240 --> 00:06:01,400
Make a list of everyone in the house
and collate statements.
123
00:06:01,480 --> 00:06:02,600
Exactly.
124
00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:05,320
Do you mind if I leave you to it
while I go and break the news?
125
00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:07,560
I mean, it's a tough job,
but someone has to do it.
126
00:06:07,840 --> 00:06:10,240
Um... yes, you might want to, um...
127
00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:12,440
Oh. Mm.
128
00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:13,920
Footsteps approach
129
00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:16,240
Sir.
CC Lowsley needs to see you urgently.
130
00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:20,040
Fine.
131
00:06:23,280 --> 00:06:26,640
We have a political hot potato.
132
00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:29,440
The Miss World competition is in three months
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and the host nation can't be seen to have
a random beauty queen killer on the loose.
134
00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:36,120
There's no evidence of that yet, sir.
135
00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:38,280
There are no reports of any intruders.
136
00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:41,360
Although we are yet
to speak to the security guard.
137
00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:43,440
Huh. Well, that may be.
138
00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:47,240
But /es grandes fromages
have ordered a press embargo.
139
00:06:47,520 --> 00:06:51,960
And the Met are sending an officer
to oversee our investigation.
140
00:06:52,040 --> 00:06:53,560
Scotland Yard?
- What the hell?
141
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HE CHUCKLES
Yes!
142
00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:57,360
I thought you'd be pleased.
143
00:06:57,680 --> 00:06:59,400
So, you know the plan?
144
00:07:03,320 --> 00:07:05,200
Roll out the red carpet.
145
00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:06,960
Welcome him with open arms.
146
00:07:07,040 --> 00:07:08,200
Full co-operation.
147
00:07:08,320 --> 00:07:11,320
And I expect nothing less
than maximum effort.
148
00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:12,560
Sir.
149
00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:14,360
And last but not least...
150
00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:17,840
Make bloody sure he doesn't
solve the case first.
151
00:07:18,920 --> 00:07:19,960
Capiche?
152
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:21,480
Sir.
153
00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:29,240
Church bell tolls
154
00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:32,320
I will try and extract the materials
from the wound residue.
155
00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:34,280
It may shed some light on the murder weapon.
156
00:07:34,560 --> 00:07:35,560
Ok...
157
00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:38,800
The victim was seen
leaving the dinner at 8:35.
158
00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:41,160
It leaves us a murder window of 30 minutes.
159
00:07:41,280 --> 00:07:42,800
Eight without alibis.
160
00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:46,080
One of the chaperones,
Lesley Canon, and six contestants.
161
00:07:49,560 --> 00:07:50,480
Ahem.
162
00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:53,760
Oh, keep your shirt on.
I'm embargoed, remember?
163
00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:56,440
Thought you might appreciate some background.
- Perfect timing.
164
00:07:56,520 --> 00:07:57,960
What do you know about the dead girl?
165
00:07:58,040 --> 00:07:59,840
Brassiere model from Coleraine.
166
00:07:59,920 --> 00:08:01,520
Mm?
— Steady, tiger.
167
00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:05,080
One of three favourites along with
Miss Walton-On-Thames and Miss Cardiff.
168
00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:07,400
So if you're looking for a motive,
their chances of winning
169
00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:08,640
have just increased by a third.
170
00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:10,600
Is a beauty title really worth killing over?
171
00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:11,680
I'd say so.
172
00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:14,120
£3,000, a sports car
and entry into Miss World.
173
00:08:14,440 --> 00:08:16,640
In other words,
a passport to fame and fortune.
174
00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:20,080
Well, Miss Walton-On-Thames has black hair
175
00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:21,240
and there are...
176
00:08:21,320 --> 00:08:23,640
Two more with black hair
that don't have alibis.
177
00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:26,200
Right, so tomorrow, we take hair samples
178
00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:28,680
and show this plod from Scotland Yard
that we don't need him.
179
00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:30,360
DCI Clifford Winner.
180
00:08:31,080 --> 00:08:33,240
He's the youngest officer
in the Met to make DCI.
181
00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:35,640
His arrest record is legendary.
182
00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:39,640
Query...
183
00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:41,360
intruder.
184
00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:45,080
Rustle up some teas, will you, darlin'?
185
00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:46,400
Don't forget the biscuits.
186
00:08:47,480 --> 00:08:48,920
Thank you, WPC Button.
187
00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:52,400
Did you get a statement
from the security guard?
188
00:08:52,680 --> 00:08:55,480
No, not yet. He was off sick yesterday
but we'll get one today.
189
00:08:55,880 --> 00:08:58,120
Morning. DI Sam Gillespie.
190
00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:00,000
DCI Clifford Winner.
191
00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:02,640
Mrs Clam missed you at breakfast.
192
00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:04,920
Egg, if I'm not mistaken.
193
00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:06,520
Oh.
194
00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:08,720
I came in early to write up the report.
195
00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:12,040
In my book, early's on time, on time is late
and late is unacceptable.
196
00:09:14,280 --> 00:09:15,600
So, shall we get on?
197
00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:18,360
Option one, an intruder.
198
00:09:19,120 --> 00:09:21,720
Option two, it was an inside job.
199
00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:25,120
We'll be taking hair samples to try
and match those found on the body.
200
00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:26,520
This was a brutal attack.
201
00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:28,840
This is more than just tantrums and tiaras.
202
00:09:28,920 --> 00:09:30,960
What we need is a murder weapon.
203
00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:33,920
I'm examining residues from the wound
to see if that sheds light.
204
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:36,800
Oh, Sister Boniface,
police scientific advisor.
205
00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:38,840
And you, I deduce, are DCI Winner.
206
00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:41,680
Um, I was in the post office
and you forgot your lunch.
207
00:09:41,840 --> 00:09:45,000
Mrs Clam would've brought them but
she has a first day cover of native songbirds
208
00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:47,840
and is expecting a veritable stampede
of twitchers.
209
00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:50,080
Couldn't you have given them
to the poor and needy?
210
00:09:50,160 --> 00:09:52,640
It seemed uncharitable
to add to their burden.
211
00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:53,800
Ahem.
212
00:09:54,280 --> 00:09:56,720
Well... Thank you, Sister.
213
00:09:57,280 --> 00:10:00,200
I'll let you know when, and if,
I require your services.
214
00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:02,320
Yes. Right.
215
00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:04,120
Toodleoo.
216
00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:09,680
Well, I'd heard rumours about the place
but this takes the garibaldi.
217
00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:18,160
Well... and then there's option three
218
00:10:18,280 --> 00:10:20,120
which I'm amazed has escaped you.
219
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:24,000
This security guard who conveniently
went AWOL the day after the murder.
220
00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:25,480
Uh-—-
- He's a local man.
221
00:10:25,560 --> 00:10:26,640
He's not a suspect.
222
00:10:27,040 --> 00:10:28,160
Let me be the judge of that.
223
00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:31,960
I'll leave you to play hairdresser
while I go and talk to him.
224
00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:34,680
Would you like me to come with you, sir?
- Good lad.
225
00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:36,800
We may need WPC Button to come with us.
226
00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:38,160
What do we want her for?
227
00:10:38,560 --> 00:10:41,280
He grumbles incoherently
228
00:10:42,080 --> 00:10:44,560
He patrolled the ground once an hour
and didn't see anyone.
229
00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:47,560
Dog barks
— he shouts incoherently
230
00:10:47,760 --> 00:10:48,960
Yapper, yapper, yapper!
231
00:10:49,080 --> 00:10:50,360
He grumbles incoherently
232
00:10:51,080 --> 00:10:52,200
Dog, dog...
233
00:10:52,960 --> 00:10:54,360
Did you see Miss Belfast, Tom?
234
00:10:54,560 --> 00:10:55,480
Arp.
235
00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:59,800
He grumbles incoherently
236
00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:05,840
What did he say?
237
00:11:06,120 --> 00:11:07,960
He may be a Tom, but he's no peeper.
238
00:11:08,080 --> 00:11:10,120
He'd seen enough and got on with his rounds.
239
00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:11,280
Take a statement.
240
00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:13,120
Preferably in English.
241
00:11:14,560 --> 00:11:15,800
Local dialect, sir.
242
00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:18,400
You get used to it. Or so I'm told.
243
00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:21,160
Ah.
You clearly don't hail from these parts?
244
00:11:21,320 --> 00:11:23,920
I'm on secondment from the Bermudian police.
245
00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:26,880
My placement was supposed to be
at Scotland Yard.
246
00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:30,080
Then how the hell did you end up
in this godforsaken backwater?
247
00:11:30,760 --> 00:11:31,760
Uh...
248
00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:34,400
I put it down to
a series of unfortunate events.
249
00:11:34,480 --> 00:11:35,440
Mm.
250
00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:37,560
Actually, sir, um...
251
00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:41,280
I still hope to get there one day.
252
00:11:42,320 --> 00:11:43,880
Impress me and maybe you will.
253
00:11:44,240 --> 00:11:47,040
Right. Let's see what the Beauty King
has to say for himself.
254
00:11:55,280 --> 00:11:57,200
I sincerely hope I'm not a suspect?
255
00:11:57,680 --> 00:11:59,840
Purely for purposes of elimination.
256
00:12:00,680 --> 00:12:02,160
Did you know Clodagh well?
257
00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:05,800
We'd been competing together for years.
258
00:12:06,840 --> 00:12:07,880
She was...
259
00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:10,440
a consummate professional.
260
00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:12,360
Never a hair out of place.
261
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:16,040
I wonder...
262
00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:18,560
Leonard of Mayfair does mine.
263
00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:21,080
If it's ruined,
there'll be merry hell to pay.
264
00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:23,520
Watch out, greenhorn.
265
00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:31,240
They don't think I should be here.
266
00:12:31,360 --> 00:12:33,000
I was runner up in Miss Glasgow
267
00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:35,440
and she got herself up the duff, so...
268
00:12:36,040 --> 00:12:37,360
here am I by default.
269
00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:39,600
Why the sudden urge to enter beauty contests?
270
00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:42,520
I reckoned I had more chance
of winning than the pools.
271
00:12:44,320 --> 00:12:47,640
My dad lost his job and we've eight mouths
to feed on my wages.
272
00:12:48,240 --> 00:12:51,480
One of the girls at the factory
entered Miss Glasgow and I thought...
273
00:12:51,560 --> 00:12:53,320
if she can, why not me?
274
00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:57,160
Why not indeed? I'll say a prayer for you.
275
00:12:57,320 --> 00:12:58,320
Thanks, Sister.
276
00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:01,080
But I think I probably need a miracle.
277
00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:08,640
Right, that's all of them.
Shall we get them back to the lab?
278
00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:11,280
Yes.
But first, a detour via the victim's room.
279
00:13:11,800 --> 00:13:12,960
But you've already searched it?
280
00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:23,880
So, were you dropped on the head as a baby?
281
00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:27,400
You think I'd be stupid enough to have
an affair with one of my contestants?
282
00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:28,840
I imagine you get plenty of offers.
283
00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:32,720
I'm Ringmaster,
training these girls for a performance.
284
00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:34,920
A bunch of highly-strung performers,
I might add.
285
00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:37,520
So I threaten, I cajole and I advise them.
286
00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:40,080
One step beyond the platonic,
I'd be finished.
287
00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:42,080
Then how do you explain
what the security guard saw?
288
00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:44,960
Why don't you ask the lady in question?
289
00:13:45,560 --> 00:13:46,760
Knock on door
290
00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:49,160
He sighs
291
00:13:51,440 --> 00:13:53,560
Come back in the morning.
Please, Mr Canon.
292
00:13:53,720 --> 00:13:54,760
Three minutes.
293
00:13:56,760 --> 00:13:57,800
You've got two.
294
00:14:09,440 --> 00:14:12,520
Why would a girl as neat as a pin
leave her drawers in disarray?
295
00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:14,720
You think someone got here first?
296
00:14:15,240 --> 00:14:17,960
The question is,
did they find what they were looking for?
297
00:14:22,120 --> 00:14:23,200
Hello...
298
00:14:29,560 --> 00:14:32,720
It got blown to the back, so partially burnt.
299
00:14:33,280 --> 00:14:35,360
A card, judging by the thickness.
300
00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:38,720
Why burn it rather than throw it in the bin?
301
00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:40,720
What's written inside may tell us more.
302
00:14:41,040 --> 00:14:42,320
It's burnt to a crisp.
303
00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:46,600
Oh, you'd be amazed at the
restorative powers of a chloral hydrate bath.
304
00:14:47,760 --> 00:14:48,800
Do you know who did it?
305
00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:51,560
Everyone's saying
some nutter got into the grounds.
306
00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:53,920
We can't speculate on that at the moment.
307
00:14:54,480 --> 00:14:55,840
Were you friends?
—- SHE SCOFFS
308
00:14:55,920 --> 00:14:58,080
No one could call us that,
after Miss Swimsuit.
309
00:14:58,400 --> 00:14:59,800
She tripped me on the catwalk.
310
00:14:59,880 --> 00:15:01,800
Flat on my face, in front of the judges.
311
00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:04,640
Claimed it was an accident,
but everyone knew what she was like.
312
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:06,080
What was she like?
313
00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:09,480
Let's just say she wouldn't win
a Miss Popularity contest.
314
00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:11,280
Not that I'd wish her dead, mind.
315
00:15:11,720 --> 00:15:13,240
Thank you for your frankness.
316
00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:14,240
You're welcome.
317
00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:16,560
You need anything else, just let me know.
318
00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:21,840
Has anyone said...
you look just like Sean Connery?
319
00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:26,520
What?
320
00:15:28,880 --> 00:15:29,920
Sorry...
321
00:15:40,720 --> 00:15:42,760
So, what happened last night?
322
00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:46,720
Just tell them the truth.
323
00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:50,560
I needed to talk to Mr Canon.
324
00:15:50,840 --> 00:15:52,320
Uh-uh, leave the door open.
325
00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:56,560
I'm as pretty as them.
- Yeah.
326
00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:59,080
I can smile and walk in a straight line.
327
00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:02,560
So, what do I have to do to win?
328
00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:06,160
Come here.
329
00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:08,000
Turn around.
330
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:15,040
Here.
331
00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:18,280
It's your hair.
332
00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:21,080
Dated. Makes you look like Doris Day.
333
00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:33,480
Whereas this year's judges...
334
00:16:34,720 --> 00:16:36,000
want Brigitte Bardot.
335
00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:40,160
Go on, get lost.
336
00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:41,400
Close the door, will ya?
337
00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:49,680
And then what?
338
00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:53,040
Then I went back to my room.
339
00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:58,680
So if there's nothing else,
we've a beauty contest to put on.
340
00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:00,480
Come on.
341
00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:07,800
You believe a word of that?
342
00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:15,280
Hair styling advice.
343
00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:17,440
Never heard it called that before!
344
00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:18,680
You think they're lying?
345
00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:21,880
I think they had plenty of time
to concoct a story between them.
346
00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:25,800
And an affair would topple
the Beauty King's empire.
347
00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:27,720
What about Miss Cardiff?
348
00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:31,280
Doesn't have an alibi and certainly
no love lost between her and the victim.
349
00:17:31,360 --> 00:17:33,000
I think I found something, sir.
350
00:17:34,840 --> 00:17:38,560
Sister Boniface thinks that the killer blow
may have indicated a knowledge of anatomy.
351
00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:40,360
Lesley Canon's background checks.
352
00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:43,080
He served in the Royal Army Medical Corps
during the war.
353
00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:44,320
Did he now?
- Yes.
354
00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:47,400
Do some digging into
the Beauty King's army record.
355
00:17:49,120 --> 00:17:50,280
Nice work, son.
356
00:17:50,680 --> 00:17:53,440
Help me crack this,
and that secondment's in the bag.
357
00:17:57,480 --> 00:17:58,880
Something you haven't told me?
358
00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:01,680
Ah. No, it's not what it looks like.
359
00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:04,080
He only offered to put in a good word,
that's all.
360
00:18:04,280 --> 00:18:06,120
Don't tell me we're not good enough for you?
361
00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:08,320
Of course not.
362
00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:12,520
But I did come here to learn from
the cutting edge of modern policing and...
363
00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:15,200
I feel there's more for me to learn.
364
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:18,880
I'd better get on to those army records.
365
00:18:23,120 --> 00:18:26,560
I am not being left on my own
to the mercies of Mrs Clam.
366
00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:28,600
If DCI Winner solves this case
367
00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:31,080
Felix'll be on the first train
back to London.
368
00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:32,440
How long will this take?
369
00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:35,000
Longer with you ranting at my shoulder.
370
00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:37,640
Cutting edge of modern policing?
371
00:18:37,840 --> 00:18:38,920
I'll give him cutting edge!
372
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:41,760
What's cutting edge about ruddy
rules and regulations?
373
00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:42,960
We have a match.
374
00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:47,920
Your hairs were found entangled
in the victim's watch.
375
00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:49,640
Can you explain how they got there?
376
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:51,760
I imagine because she attacked me.
377
00:18:53,040 --> 00:18:54,120
On the...
378
00:18:54,360 --> 00:18:55,440
on the day she died.
379
00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:56,720
You know the rules.
380
00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:02,640
Any more silly beggars
and you'll be disqualified, you got that?
381
00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:05,200
The same goes for the rest of ya!
382
00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:06,640
Mr Canon!
383
00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:11,480
It was you that told.
384
00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:14,400
Are you that scared that I'm going to win?
385
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:16,480
Scared? Of you?
386
00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:18,880
I'm not the one who needs upholstering.
387
00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:20,960
I haven't finished with you!
- FABRIC RIPS
388
00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:22,200
Now you've done it!
389
00:19:22,320 --> 00:19:24,240
They yell
390
00:19:26,360 --> 00:19:28,880
Not in the face! Oi! I said not in the face!
391
00:19:29,120 --> 00:19:30,240
What you playing at?
392
00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:36,040
All that over boned swimwear?
393
00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:38,600
It reduces the waist
and accentuates the bust.
394
00:19:39,080 --> 00:19:40,640
Everyone bends the rules a little.
395
00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:43,960
But she was a sneaky Betty.
396
00:19:44,360 --> 00:19:46,880
Always going through our things,
looking for rule breakers.
397
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:49,320
I wasn't the only one, by any means.
398
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:52,080
Can I go now?
399
00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:53,800
I've got a rehearsal.
- Mm.
400
00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:58,240
Jazz music plays
401
00:19:58,440 --> 00:20:02,440
Miss Grimsby's vital statistics
are 38, 25, 36.
402
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:04,600
About time, Glasgow, you're up next.
403
00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:07,320
Miss Grimsby also has
a set of her own teeth
404
00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:08,520
although you wouldn't know it.
405
00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:11,120
Better.
406
00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:13,000
Number Five. Miss Glasgow.
407
00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:15,760
Bit more of a head toss on the walk.
Try not to turn as you come up.
408
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:22,040
Lovely stuff.
409
00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:24,680
See, hair makes all the difference.
410
00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:26,240
Starting to look like a winner now.
411
00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:29,960
Timer dings
412
00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:39,080
It seems Miss Belfast was a snoop.
413
00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:42,640
Maybe she found something
and decided to turn blackmailer?
414
00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:45,200
Your timing couldn't be more fortuitous.
415
00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:48,040
Oh?
— Our mysteriously burnt card, perhaps?
416
00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:51,520
The chloral hydrate treatment
clarified the letters, but...
417
00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:54,120
No, they're too faint to make out.
418
00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:58,280
If it's iron-gall ink or pencil,
infrared photography may be more efficacious.
419
00:20:58,360 --> 00:20:59,360
That's the bad news.
420
00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:00,720
The good news is
421
00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:03,640
I think I've identified the murder weapon.
- A-ha!
422
00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:05,880
FOOTSTEPS APPROACH
— Oh, yes, Ruth.
423
00:21:06,040 --> 00:21:07,200
Thank you for coming.
424
00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:09,840
I'm intrigued to know the reason
for my summons.
425
00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:11,200
That makes two of us.
426
00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:14,280
Miss Penny's presence is pertinent
for prop purposes.
427
00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:17,560
The wound residue is a mixture of wax, naptha
428
00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:20,480
turpentine dye, lanolin and gum arabic.
429
00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:22,600
Shoe polish.
— Oh.
430
00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:24,480
Black shoe polish, to be precise.
431
00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:25,600
May 1?
-W...
432
00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:27,920
Just one will suffice, yes, thank you.
433
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:28,840
Right.
434
00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:34,560
Well, I'll have you know those are
Claude Chang and cost 40 guineas.
435
00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:36,280
My entire wardrobe cost less than that.
436
00:21:36,560 --> 00:21:37,960
Yes, that had been noted.
437
00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:40,160
Courtesy of Mr Button.
438
00:21:40,520 --> 00:21:43,800
Pigskin being remarkably similar
in composition to human skin.
439
00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:46,120
Observe.
— Oh, hell's bells...
440
00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:47,360
Sister, no!
441
00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:49,720
Behold.
442
00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:52,120
The murder weapon has been
under our noses all this time.
443
00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:53,760
Or rather on someone's foot.
444
00:21:53,840 --> 00:21:56,680
Hm.
— Oh, um, I'll just dab that for you.
445
00:21:57,560 --> 00:21:58,680
As good as new.
446
00:21:58,760 --> 00:21:59,640
Almost.
447
00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:02,320
Death by stiletto? You angel.
448
00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:06,560
Which means that Scotland Yard have been
on the wrong foot with Lesley Canon.
449
00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:08,600
Yes, very good.
450
00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:11,000
Without a leg to stand on.
- THEY CHUCKLE
451
00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:14,960
No, it does rather point
to a female perpetrator.
452
00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:18,760
Mm. The question is, where did they
dispose of the murder weapon?
453
00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:20,000
Oh, no.
454
00:22:20,080 --> 00:22:23,840
No self-respecting female would willingly
dispose of a pair of designer stilettos.
455
00:22:23,920 --> 00:22:25,160
No.
SHE SPITS
456
00:22:25,360 --> 00:22:26,920
I'd wager she's still wearing them.
457
00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:28,960
Ah.
458
00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:31,160
We need to look at all the shoes
459
00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:33,200
of all the girls without alibis.
460
00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:48,000
He grumbles
- dog whines
461
00:22:48,680 --> 00:22:49,760
Dog barks
462
00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:53,480
Tom grumbles
463
00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:57,600
Initial indications suggest it may have
been used to wipe the murder weapon.
464
00:22:57,840 --> 00:23:00,480
Which, apropos, has been identified
as a black stiletto.
465
00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:02,600
A shoe? Are you sure?
466
00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:04,240
99.8%.
467
00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:05,320
Good work, Sister.
468
00:23:05,640 --> 00:23:09,280
That's a first. Albeit a bit late,
now I've nabbed our culprit.
469
00:23:09,560 --> 00:23:11,560
This was found yards from the crime scene.
470
00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:13,600
Who searched the area?
- Me, sir.
471
00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:15,520
It wasn't there, or I'd have seen it.
472
00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:19,400
Captain of the ladies junior darts team
without the aid of ocular assistance.
473
00:23:19,480 --> 00:23:21,600
WPC Button is very reliable, sir.
474
00:23:21,720 --> 00:23:24,480
Which raises the possibility
that it could have been planted.
475
00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:28,400
I prefer the possibility that you're
making excuses for your officer's cock-up.
476
00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:32,440
You realise how much time you've wasted
because of your incompetence?
477
00:23:33,040 --> 00:23:35,440
If it was down to me,
this'd be a disciplinary matter.
478
00:23:36,240 --> 00:23:38,200
I'll get these back to the lab for tests.
479
00:23:41,360 --> 00:23:43,040
And that, gentlemen...
480
00:23:43,560 --> 00:23:46,040
is why they shouldn't
let women join the police.
481
00:23:46,720 --> 00:23:50,160
See if Miss Glasgow's got a pair of
black stilettos and bag it as evidence.
482
00:23:50,280 --> 00:23:53,080
And also all the shoes
of all the contestants without alibis.
483
00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:54,800
Did I say that?
484
00:23:54,920 --> 00:23:56,800
Until we've heard what the suspect has to say
485
00:23:56,880 --> 00:23:59,160
I don't want you wasting any more of my time
486
00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:01,040
and that's an order.
487
00:24:11,560 --> 00:24:14,160
Silly girl. I was just starting to believe
she could win it.
488
00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:21,080
It's not Sunday night
at the Palladium, girls.
489
00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:23,360
Come on, let's get back inside.
Come on, inside.
490
00:24:24,040 --> 00:24:25,160
Shoo! Let's go.
491
00:24:39,080 --> 00:24:40,520
We were given a direct order.
492
00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:41,680
From CC Lowsley.
493
00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:44,280
Don't let Scotland Yard solve the case first.
494
00:24:45,040 --> 00:24:46,640
Perhaps that has clouded your judgement.
495
00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:49,400
Peggy would never miss that sash,
you know that.
496
00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:52,120
And talking of clouded judgement
497
00:24:52,320 --> 00:24:53,240
how...
498
00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:55,000
He sighs
499
00:24:55,320 --> 00:24:59,080
How about your vested interest
in helping Scotland Yard solve this case?
500
00:24:59,920 --> 00:25:02,400
Can't you see, he's a man
who's all mouth and no trousers?
501
00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:03,960
He is a man I would emulate.
502
00:25:04,640 --> 00:25:07,120
Ah. And there was I,
thinking we made a good team.
503
00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:09,480
I didn't mean...
504
00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:11,000
We do.
505
00:25:11,120 --> 00:25:13,640
Apart from your blatant disregard
of the rulebook.
506
00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:16,160
I don't give a flying fig about the rules.
- No.
507
00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:17,600
But I do.
508
00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:19,960
Are you gonna grass me up?
509
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:25,000
Of course not.
510
00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:27,680
Right. Well, I'll take these.
511
00:25:28,280 --> 00:25:30,320
And we'll see what
Sister Boniface has to say.
512
00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:33,920
He sighs
513
00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:37,360
I'm afraid traces of shoe polish
514
00:25:37,440 --> 00:25:40,240
and brain tissue leave no doubt
the sash was used
515
00:25:40,320 --> 00:25:42,320
to wipe the murder weapon clean.
516
00:25:42,880 --> 00:25:44,360
It's all a little convenient.
517
00:25:45,040 --> 00:25:47,040
I'll eat my hat if it wasn't planted.
518
00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:51,160
Well, that would be more digestible
than Mrs Clam's cooking.
519
00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:55,800
Right, let's see if these shoes
have a tale to tell.
520
00:25:56,360 --> 00:25:57,520
Lights, please.
- Yup.
521
00:25:58,000 --> 00:25:59,880
Device buzzes faintly
522
00:26:12,920 --> 00:26:16,400
Luckily for your digestive tract,
no signs of blood on Miss Glasgow's.
523
00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:18,040
Or any of them, for that matter.
524
00:26:18,120 --> 00:26:20,680
These girls maintain their footwear
with military precision.
525
00:26:20,760 --> 00:26:22,560
Spit and polish, unfortunately for us.
526
00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:23,560
That's that then.
527
00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:26,400
Well, the polish may have created a barrier.
528
00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:28,320
I'll scrape it off
and see if it reveals anything.
529
00:26:29,080 --> 00:26:30,400
I'd better get this back.
530
00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:33,760
I can already imagine
the look on his smug face.
531
00:26:39,240 --> 00:26:40,800
Aye, it's mine.
532
00:26:41,440 --> 00:26:42,440
But I lost it.
533
00:26:42,840 --> 00:26:44,280
After rehearsal on Wednesday.
534
00:26:45,120 --> 00:26:46,720
One of the others pinched it, probably.
535
00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:48,160
Are they in the habit of that?
536
00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:49,680
They are with me.
537
00:26:50,120 --> 00:26:51,720
When did you meet Lesley Canon?
538
00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:54,200
At Miss Glasgow.
539
00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:57,520
Your first competition,
when you came runner up.
540
00:26:58,480 --> 00:26:59,720
Pretty impressive.
541
00:27:00,320 --> 00:27:03,360
You sure you didn't get a little leg-up
from the contest organiser?
542
00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:05,960
Or should that be a leg over?
543
00:27:06,080 --> 00:27:07,360
He's older than my granda.
544
00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:10,880
You wouldn't be the first to shut her eyes
and think of England.
545
00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:13,840
Or in this case, Miss United Britain?
546
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:15,240
In your dreams.
547
00:27:17,400 --> 00:27:20,480
Did Miss Belfast find out
and threaten to spill the beans?
548
00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:23,040
That would have been
the end of your competition.
549
00:27:23,120 --> 00:27:25,160
I'd like to see you prove it.
- DOOR OPENS
550
00:27:26,840 --> 00:27:28,680
There's no results from the shoes as yet
551
00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:31,200
but Sister Boniface has confirmed
552
00:27:31,440 --> 00:27:34,640
that this was used
to clean the murder weapon.
553
00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:37,280
Looks like we just did.
554
00:27:38,920 --> 00:27:40,840
I'll leave you to charge her, at least
555
00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:43,120
while I deliver the good news
to the Commissioner.
556
00:27:48,920 --> 00:27:50,080
I didn't do it.
557
00:27:50,280 --> 00:27:51,440
Off the record?
558
00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:52,800
I believe you.
559
00:27:54,680 --> 00:27:56,280
They can't put me in the jail.
560
00:27:56,920 --> 00:27:58,360
I've a family to feed.
561
00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:01,080
I won't let it come to that.
562
00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:03,040
You have my word.
563
00:28:06,280 --> 00:28:09,760
The powers that be
are jumping for joy at such a timely result.
564
00:28:09,880 --> 00:28:10,880
She hasn't confessed.
565
00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:12,760
She will.
566
00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:15,080
Copper's nose.
567
00:28:15,280 --> 00:28:17,840
I can smell guilt, and she reeked of it.
568
00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:21,320
I get it. No one likes someone else
stealing their thunder.
569
00:28:21,840 --> 00:28:24,880
But the Met's motto is,
"We lead. Others follow."
570
00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:27,000
Talking of which...
571
00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:29,920
you still up for that transfer?
572
00:28:33,680 --> 00:28:34,640
Yes.
573
00:28:35,920 --> 00:28:37,760
That is to say, thank you.
574
00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:39,200
Thank you, sir.
575
00:28:39,760 --> 00:28:41,040
Congratulations.
576
00:28:41,360 --> 00:28:42,520
It's what you've always wanted.
577
00:28:44,360 --> 00:28:46,120
I'm on the VIP table tonight.
578
00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:49,240
Join me, and I'll give you the lowdown
on my firm.
579
00:28:54,720 --> 00:28:56,240
You can't go, Sarge.
580
00:28:56,360 --> 00:28:58,280
There'll be no one to organise the systems.
581
00:28:58,400 --> 00:29:00,120
I couldn't stay forever, Peggy.
582
00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:02,600
Look, I'll write, and you can come visit.
583
00:29:02,840 --> 00:29:04,920
You always wanted to see the Crown Jewels.
584
00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:06,960
We can go sightseeing together.
585
00:29:07,680 --> 00:29:09,520
My dad went to London once.
586
00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:11,360
Didn't see a single smile all day.
587
00:29:14,760 --> 00:29:16,520
Phone rings
588
00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:17,800
DI Gillespie.
589
00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:20,440
I'll be right there.
590
00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:23,960
Where are you going?
— Just security for tonight.
591
00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:37,240
Automatic disqualification
592
00:29:37,320 --> 00:29:39,480
and the end of her career as a beauty queen.
593
00:29:39,640 --> 00:29:41,800
You have answered my prayers, Sister.
594
00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:43,160
Or at least half a prayer.
595
00:29:43,640 --> 00:29:46,280
It won't be enough for Winner.
We need some hard evidence.
596
00:29:46,640 --> 00:29:49,400
Now... there's nothing under the polish.
597
00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:50,520
But, fact.
598
00:29:50,680 --> 00:29:54,400
If this is the murder weapon,
then Locard's principle will prevail.
599
00:29:54,680 --> 00:29:57,320
And there will be an exchange.
600
00:30:04,760 --> 00:30:05,880
Lights!
- Yeah.
601
00:30:09,960 --> 00:30:11,800
Device buzzes faintly
602
00:30:13,760 --> 00:30:14,920
Infuriating.
603
00:30:16,480 --> 00:30:18,640
I never called it a principle, you know.
604
00:30:18,760 --> 00:30:20,880
Or used the word "exchange".
605
00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:22,960
Well... It seems to have caught on
606
00:30:23,040 --> 00:30:25,920
and as a catchphrase, you'll have to admit
it does have a certain ring to it.
607
00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:27,120
What has?
608
00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:30,080
Monsieur Trace is shy and microscopic.
609
00:30:30,560 --> 00:30:32,160
And though he likes to conceal himself
610
00:30:32,240 --> 00:30:35,640
eventually, he must emerge blinking
into the light.
611
00:30:37,360 --> 00:30:39,240
Try beneath the leather.
612
00:30:40,560 --> 00:30:41,640
Roger that.
613
00:30:42,080 --> 00:30:43,040
Roger what?
614
00:30:44,520 --> 00:30:45,600
So...
615
00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:47,320
you have read my traite.
616
00:30:47,480 --> 00:30:51,320
You could say it's my second bible.
617
00:30:51,960 --> 00:30:53,680
Are you talking to yourself again?
618
00:30:53,800 --> 00:30:55,600
I was not sure about my volume five.
619
00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:58,240
Do you think I started to repeat myself?
- Well...
620
00:30:58,720 --> 00:31:00,200
you did go on a bit, but...
621
00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:01,840
Personally, I enjoyed it.
622
00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:03,280
Lights!
623
00:31:07,600 --> 00:31:09,080
Device buzzes faintly
624
00:31:12,800 --> 00:31:13,800
Bingo!
625
00:31:14,920 --> 00:31:15,840
Got her!
626
00:31:17,120 --> 00:31:19,880
And we are live from the grounds
of Slaughter Abbey
627
00:31:20,240 --> 00:31:23,160
where, in one hour,
171 eye-riveting glamourettes
628
00:31:23,280 --> 00:31:25,280
will vie to become Miss United Britain.
629
00:31:25,600 --> 00:31:28,040
And with the enviable task of selecting
the winners
630
00:31:28,120 --> 00:31:29,160
this year's judges.
631
00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:30,840
Actor, Rex Cooper.
632
00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:34,640
Racing driver, Harry Dunbar.
633
00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:36,840
And comedian, Terry Pepper.
634
00:31:37,280 --> 00:31:39,000
Certainly got something to laugh about!
635
00:31:39,120 --> 00:31:42,080
Ah, but before the eye-popping
bevy of beauties
636
00:31:42,160 --> 00:31:45,120
we have live music from the Bevello Brothers.
637
00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:47,280
Jazz music plays
638
00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:49,720
Indistinct chatter
639
00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:51,680
Can I have a word, please?
640
00:31:57,680 --> 00:32:00,000
It's mine, but one of the others
must have taken it.
641
00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:02,040
There were plenty didn't like her
apart from me.
642
00:32:02,120 --> 00:32:05,000
You were in the exercise room
between 8 and 9pm.
643
00:32:05,280 --> 00:32:07,480
The route back
took you past the swimming pool.
644
00:32:07,560 --> 00:32:10,720
You're saying I killed her
over a stupid contest?
645
00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:11,960
That's the game.
646
00:32:12,080 --> 00:32:14,560
You win some, you lose some.
There's always a next time.
647
00:32:14,680 --> 00:32:15,800
Not for you.
648
00:32:16,280 --> 00:32:19,200
Clodagh's snooping reaped dividends
on this occasion.
649
00:32:19,560 --> 00:32:21,800
Enough to get you disqualified for life.
650
00:32:23,520 --> 00:32:25,280
It's burnt. You can't read that.
651
00:32:25,480 --> 00:32:26,440
No.
652
00:32:26,920 --> 00:32:28,760
But we can read an infrared photograph.
653
00:32:29,720 --> 00:32:30,680
From Carys.
654
00:32:31,560 --> 00:32:32,760
"Pen-blwydd hapus Mam."
655
00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:36,200
"Happy birthday, Mummy."
656
00:32:40,680 --> 00:32:41,960
I didn't mean to kill her.
657
00:32:47,920 --> 00:32:49,840
Who's been a naughty girl?
658
00:32:50,880 --> 00:32:52,600
What are you gonna snitch on me for?
659
00:32:53,400 --> 00:32:54,480
I'll give you...
660
00:32:54,880 --> 00:32:56,480
the kid didn't ruin your figure.
661
00:32:58,040 --> 00:32:59,160
Nice card...
662
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:01,000
"Mam."
663
00:33:02,600 --> 00:33:04,280
I was only 15 when I had her
664
00:33:04,720 --> 00:33:07,640
but she was so beautiful, and she was mine.
665
00:33:08,680 --> 00:33:09,880
I just couldn't give her up.
666
00:33:10,640 --> 00:33:12,080
You'd have done the same thing in my shoes.
667
00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:13,200
Hardly.
668
00:33:13,320 --> 00:33:14,880
Unlike you, I'm still freshly packaged.
669
00:33:15,120 --> 00:33:17,320
I'm begging you, don't say anything.
670
00:33:17,960 --> 00:33:19,520
Not for me, but for her.
671
00:33:19,960 --> 00:33:21,320
Her name's Carys, and—--
672
00:33:21,440 --> 00:33:23,640
I couldn't give a monkeys
for your little mistake.
673
00:33:24,720 --> 00:33:25,760
You're finished.
674
00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:29,120
Once they find out, you'll be Miss Nobody.
675
00:33:34,960 --> 00:33:36,120
Loud thud
- she gasps
676
00:33:38,360 --> 00:33:40,520
Owl hoots
677
00:33:43,120 --> 00:33:44,760
An unlucky blow indeed.
678
00:33:45,360 --> 00:33:47,680
You wiped your shoe on Miss Glasgow's sash?
679
00:33:48,280 --> 00:33:49,600
I found it by the pool.
680
00:33:49,680 --> 00:33:50,840
So you planted it.
681
00:33:51,240 --> 00:33:52,480
Surely that was risky?
682
00:33:52,600 --> 00:33:54,000
I heard you talking.
683
00:33:54,360 --> 00:33:55,720
It's burnt to a crisp.
684
00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:59,360
You'd be amazed at the
restorative powers of a chloral hydrate bath.
685
00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:02,120
Do you know who did it?
686
00:34:02,200 --> 00:34:05,720
You knew we were getting close,
so you framed an innocent woman for murder.
687
00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:07,480
It was her or Carys.
688
00:34:08,120 --> 00:34:10,760
What chance would she have
with a mother in prison?
689
00:34:11,200 --> 00:34:13,920
All I wanted was for her
to have a better future than mine.
690
00:34:14,560 --> 00:34:16,720
For her to be able to succeed without...
691
00:34:17,120 --> 00:34:19,800
without taking her clothes off
and getting leered at!
692
00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:23,080
I did it for my daughter.
693
00:34:25,160 --> 00:34:28,720
Sally Ann Jones, I'm arresting you
for the murder of Clodagh Kilpatrick.
694
00:34:28,880 --> 00:34:31,280
You do not have to say anything,
but anything you do say
695
00:34:31,360 --> 00:34:33,240
may be written down
and given in evidence.
696
00:34:37,400 --> 00:34:40,560
And you couldn't ask for
a field of shapelier fillies
697
00:34:40,840 --> 00:34:45,800
than those coming under starter's orders
for this year's Miss United Britain stakes.
698
00:34:45,960 --> 00:34:48,880
A veritable cornucopia of beauties
699
00:34:49,240 --> 00:34:52,000
and for the moment all the men
in the audience have been waiting for.
700
00:34:52,240 --> 00:34:55,280
The best of the peaches from the beaches
701
00:34:55,440 --> 00:34:57,120
it's the swimwear round.
702
00:34:58,920 --> 00:35:00,600
Now, for the facts and figures.
703
00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:04,360
Airline stewardess, Miss Walton-On-Thames.
704
00:35:04,520 --> 00:35:07,520
36, 24, 36.
705
00:35:07,880 --> 00:35:10,760
Certainly the hostess with the mostest.
706
00:35:11,320 --> 00:35:14,600
Miss Newcastle is a bookkeeper
from South Shields.
707
00:35:15,160 --> 00:35:16,840
Who'd think it? Brains and beauty.
708
00:35:17,560 --> 00:35:19,720
And from the look on the judges' faces
709
00:35:19,920 --> 00:35:21,800
they can put two and two together.
710
00:35:21,920 --> 00:35:22,960
They mutter
711
00:35:23,080 --> 00:35:25,720
Number Two, Miss Cardiff, Sally Ann J...
712
00:35:26,880 --> 00:35:30,120
Sorry, that's Number Five. Miss Glasgow.
713
00:35:30,480 --> 00:35:31,520
Moira McDonald.
714
00:35:31,680 --> 00:35:34,640
37, 24, 35.
715
00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:37,640
Five feet ten of Caledonian cutie.
716
00:35:38,360 --> 00:35:41,320
Miss Weston-Super-Mare is a secretary.
717
00:35:41,520 --> 00:35:43,640
She can take down my dictation any time.
718
00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:47,480
And shall we reverse?
- SOUND FADES
719
00:36:01,960 --> 00:36:03,640
You'd better have a good explanation
720
00:36:03,840 --> 00:36:06,840
or you'll be spending the remainder
of your career directing traffic.
721
00:36:07,240 --> 00:36:08,440
She confessed.
722
00:36:08,600 --> 00:36:10,400
Well done, Inspector!
723
00:36:10,680 --> 00:36:13,640
I had a feeling that you'd score
a last-minute goal.
724
00:36:14,160 --> 00:36:16,200
I'm not sure what you've been led to believe
725
00:36:16,320 --> 00:36:18,840
but I was fully appraised
at all stages of the investigation
726
00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:21,520
and your men
were acting under my instructions.
727
00:36:21,640 --> 00:36:23,960
As DS Livingstone can confirm.
728
00:36:25,560 --> 00:36:28,240
I'm sure I can count on you to back me up.
729
00:36:29,800 --> 00:36:31,160
That's not necessary.
730
00:36:31,880 --> 00:36:33,360
DCI Winner is correct.
731
00:36:33,440 --> 00:36:35,280
I'll tell you about it later, sir.
- Oh.
732
00:36:35,680 --> 00:36:36,920
I can't wait.
733
00:36:40,800 --> 00:36:43,040
I'm glad you see things my way
734
00:36:43,600 --> 00:36:44,800
because we're off tonight.
735
00:36:44,920 --> 00:36:47,360
Tonight? I thought this would take weeks.
736
00:36:47,640 --> 00:36:49,600
Big job just landed, and I need manpower
737
00:36:50,080 --> 00:36:53,760
so I'll give you half an hour to pack up
your things and I'll see you at the station.
738
00:36:55,160 --> 00:36:56,200
Yes, sir.
739
00:37:02,600 --> 00:37:03,960
I suppose this is goodbye.
740
00:37:04,520 --> 00:37:05,520
Merely adieu.
741
00:37:06,360 --> 00:37:07,720
Now, you will come back and visit us?
742
00:37:08,240 --> 00:37:09,360
Of course, Sister.
743
00:37:09,680 --> 00:37:12,040
And I will wear gloves at crime scenes
744
00:37:12,240 --> 00:37:14,720
and I will send Peggy a postcard
from all of the sights.
745
00:37:16,080 --> 00:37:17,200
And I'll telephone.
746
00:37:17,280 --> 00:37:18,720
Before nine.
- HE CHUCKLES
747
00:37:19,560 --> 00:37:20,960
Scotland Yard are lucky to have you.
748
00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:25,080
I will never forget Great Slaughter.
HE CHUCKLES
749
00:37:25,160 --> 00:37:29,160
I can say hand on heart, this has been
an education and a privilege.
750
00:37:37,920 --> 00:37:40,040
Right, better go
and break the news to Mrs Clam.
751
00:37:40,520 --> 00:37:42,080
There's a conversation I don't envy.
752
00:37:55,640 --> 00:37:57,960
There was no need for you to come, Mrs Clam.
753
00:37:58,040 --> 00:38:00,320
Nonsense. Someone had to see you off.
754
00:38:00,600 --> 00:38:01,920
Felix chuckles
755
00:38:04,760 --> 00:38:06,640
You won't get fresh game where you're going.
756
00:38:06,880 --> 00:38:07,800
Thank you.
757
00:38:07,880 --> 00:38:09,280
Sandwiches for the journey.
758
00:38:09,360 --> 00:38:10,800
I made your favourite.
759
00:38:10,920 --> 00:38:13,240
At least, I couldn't remember what it was
760
00:38:13,480 --> 00:38:15,160
so I made egg and cress.
761
00:38:15,680 --> 00:38:16,680
Thank you, Miss Thimble.
762
00:38:16,760 --> 00:38:19,240
He grumbles incoherently
763
00:38:19,560 --> 00:38:20,760
No sharin'.
764
00:38:20,880 --> 00:38:22,840
Thank you, Tom.
- Oh, bye, Sarge!
765
00:38:24,640 --> 00:38:28,120
On. If you're still on for the Crown Jewels,
I reckon I can brave a trip to London.
766
00:38:28,200 --> 00:38:30,240
You don't let her out of your sight, mind.
767
00:38:30,360 --> 00:38:33,320
She'd be an innocent dove
amongst a flock of vultures.
768
00:38:33,400 --> 00:38:35,640
Ar.
- Two innocent doves.
769
00:38:36,560 --> 00:38:37,600
I will write.
770
00:38:37,960 --> 00:38:39,760
You'll do more than that, I hope.
771
00:38:40,160 --> 00:38:42,080
There's always a room for you
at the Sea View.
772
00:38:42,160 --> 00:38:43,120
We off, then?
773
00:38:43,360 --> 00:38:46,440
Indistinct chatter
- tom grumbles incoherently
774
00:38:47,240 --> 00:38:48,400
Thank you, Tom.
775
00:38:48,560 --> 00:38:49,840
Goodbye. Take care.
776
00:38:50,040 --> 00:38:51,960
INDISTINCT CHATTER
—- Bye.
777
00:38:56,160 --> 00:38:59,760
Bright lad like you deserves better
than a bunch of amateur yokels.
778
00:39:00,240 --> 00:39:01,480
They're good people.
779
00:39:01,600 --> 00:39:03,600
And they welcomed me
when I was a stranger.
780
00:39:03,840 --> 00:39:06,880
Your Dl's a maverick sheriff
in a one-horse town.
781
00:39:07,040 --> 00:39:08,920
And don't get me started on the Nun.
782
00:39:09,000 --> 00:39:11,760
Actually, sir,
even though our methods may be unorthodox
783
00:39:11,840 --> 00:39:13,640
we do have the highest clean-up rate
in the county.
784
00:39:13,800 --> 00:39:14,800
"We"?
785
00:39:14,920 --> 00:39:16,480
Sounds like you've gone native.
786
00:39:16,640 --> 00:39:18,880
Looks like I'm getting you out
not a moment too soon.
787
00:39:20,880 --> 00:39:22,640
What're you waiting for? Chop chop!
788
00:39:36,440 --> 00:39:39,680
And now we resume live
from Miss United Britain
789
00:39:39,760 --> 00:39:42,680
where our seven remaining
eye riveting-glamourettes
790
00:39:42,800 --> 00:39:44,160
await the judges' decision.
791
00:39:45,120 --> 00:39:46,320
In reverse order...
792
00:39:47,200 --> 00:39:48,320
Third place.
793
00:39:48,760 --> 00:39:50,320
Miss Birmingham.
794
00:39:51,680 --> 00:39:53,360
Crowd applauds
795
00:39:58,240 --> 00:39:59,560
In second place.
796
00:40:00,560 --> 00:40:02,760
Miss Newcastle.
797
00:40:03,240 --> 00:40:05,200
Crowd applauds
798
00:40:11,120 --> 00:40:14,920
And the winner of this year's
Miss United Britain is...
799
00:40:16,040 --> 00:40:17,120
Miss...
800
00:40:17,320 --> 00:40:18,360
Glasgow!
801
00:40:19,880 --> 00:40:21,680
Crowd applauds
802
00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:43,400
Well...
803
00:40:43,960 --> 00:40:45,920
One prayer, at least, has been answered.
804
00:40:49,400 --> 00:40:51,640
"The comfort of having a friend
may be taken away
805
00:40:51,720 --> 00:40:53,440
but not that of having had one."
806
00:40:59,560 --> 00:41:00,560
To Felix.
807
00:41:00,720 --> 00:41:02,160
A fine officer
808
00:41:02,600 --> 00:41:04,000
and an even finer friend.
809
00:41:04,080 --> 00:41:05,680
Hear!
— Sorely missed.
810
00:41:05,840 --> 00:41:07,240
To Sarge!
— Dr Livingstone.
811
00:41:07,360 --> 00:41:08,800
To Felix.
Felix.
812
00:41:09,040 --> 00:41:10,080
To Felix.
813
00:41:10,760 --> 00:41:12,320
The usual, please, George.
814
00:41:13,640 --> 00:41:14,920
Did you forget something?
815
00:41:15,560 --> 00:41:17,040
Apart from my integrity?
816
00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:19,240
I understood.
817
00:41:19,320 --> 00:41:21,240
DCI Winner would not have understood.
818
00:41:22,120 --> 00:41:25,320
He's not someone I can look up to,
never mind call a friend.
819
00:41:26,760 --> 00:41:27,800
You mean...
820
00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:30,200
He's staying!
821
00:41:30,360 --> 00:41:31,920
They cheer
822
00:41:32,320 --> 00:41:33,360
Who is?
823
00:41:33,440 --> 00:41:36,280
Sergeant Livingstone has come to his senses.
824
00:41:36,360 --> 00:41:38,000
Oh, welcome home, Sarge!
825
00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:42,320
Aye!
HE RANTS INCOHERENTLY
826
00:41:43,040 --> 00:41:46,680
He continues incoherently
827
00:41:49,600 --> 00:41:51,520
They cheer
828
00:41:52,280 --> 00:41:53,960
They laugh
829
00:41:54,080 --> 00:41:56,320
So? What do you say then, lad?
830
00:41:57,800 --> 00:41:58,720
Thank you, Tom.
831
00:41:58,920 --> 00:42:01,080
They cheer
832
00:42:05,080 --> 00:42:09,400
You do realise you just volunteered
to be next year's Mistress Flumsy?
833
00:42:09,720 --> 00:42:13,840
Yes, she or rather "he" leads
the annual mummers parade in town
834
00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:15,920
while being flagellated with twigs.
835
00:42:16,280 --> 00:42:19,080
Oh, but don't worry,
the flagellation is purely symbolic.
836
00:42:19,160 --> 00:42:20,640
It's a great honour.
837
00:42:21,480 --> 00:42:23,440
Hold the front page!
838
00:42:24,920 --> 00:42:26,480
I think he's pleased.
839
00:42:27,040 --> 00:42:28,840
They laugh
62084
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