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1
00:00:29,488 --> 00:00:32,991
Mush!
2
00:01:00,310 --> 00:01:02,980
Now, that's a cup of coffee. It's strong.
3
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:04,857
Good though.
4
00:01:04,858 --> 00:01:06,357
I got you something.
5
00:01:06,358 --> 00:01:09,735
Ooh. I love somethings.
6
00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:12,698
What is this?
7
00:01:14,533 --> 00:01:17,452
Sense and Sensibility.
Oh, I love this book.
8
00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:19,996
I loved the movie more though.
9
00:01:19,997 --> 00:01:23,291
Wait, is this, like,
a first edition or something?
10
00:01:23,292 --> 00:01:27,379
- Yep. And it's signed.
- No.
11
00:01:30,299 --> 00:01:33,552
"Keeley, you go girl! Jane Austen."
12
00:01:36,263 --> 00:01:39,349
Did you destroy a priceless artifact
just to make me laugh?
13
00:01:40,309 --> 00:01:42,989
One, it wasn't priceless.
It was actually very expensive.
14
00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:47,315
Two, I can get very jealous,
and I hate the idea of you regifting that.
15
00:01:47,316 --> 00:01:50,234
And three, no, I didn't. That is all her.
16
00:01:50,235 --> 00:01:54,614
And she really wants you to "go girl,"
so... you better go girl.
17
00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:56,991
Oh, I'll go. Watch me.
18
00:01:56,992 --> 00:02:00,161
Come here. Thank you.
19
00:02:00,162 --> 00:02:01,455
You're welcome.
20
00:02:06,376 --> 00:02:08,628
Hey, Cindy. How are you? Good.
21
00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:11,048
How you doing, brother? You okay?
22
00:02:13,592 --> 00:02:15,677
- Good morning, Faridah.
- Oh, morning, Sam.
23
00:02:16,678 --> 00:02:19,556
Okay. I have a favor to ask.
24
00:02:20,057 --> 00:02:23,060
- Hmm.
- Do we have an open table on Friday night?
25
00:02:28,524 --> 00:02:31,943
Oh, you're being serious? No.
26
00:02:31,944 --> 00:02:36,113
The restaurant is booked for months.
The waiting list is a lie we tell people.
27
00:02:36,114 --> 00:02:40,826
O-Okay. We have a very special guest
coming, so I need a "Ray Liotta" for one.
28
00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:43,037
I'll take care of it, take care of it.
29
00:02:43,038 --> 00:02:44,455
You're the best.
30
00:02:44,456 --> 00:02:46,750
- Okay. Thank you.
- Oh. Fuck you!
31
00:02:48,794 --> 00:02:50,514
- If you will excuse me.
- Mm-hmm.
32
00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:58,386
- Is everything okay in here?
- I don't know.
33
00:02:58,387 --> 00:03:00,304
- Is everything okay in here?
- Yes, Chef!
34
00:03:00,305 --> 00:03:02,223
- Everything's fine.
- So who were you talking to?
35
00:03:02,224 --> 00:03:05,142
- Brinda Barot.
- And was she here?
36
00:03:05,143 --> 00:03:06,143
No, poo poo head.
37
00:03:07,062 --> 00:03:08,271
A refugee boat's coming in,
38
00:03:08,272 --> 00:03:10,983
and our home secretary
wants to send them away.
39
00:03:11,567 --> 00:03:13,693
- Why would she do that?
- Because she's the devil.
40
00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:14,814
- Right?
- Yes, Chef!
41
00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:17,947
Okay, listen. Brinda Barot sucks for sure,
42
00:03:17,948 --> 00:03:20,868
but, Simi,
it's way too early to be this angry.
43
00:03:22,286 --> 00:03:25,162
Maybe you should start drinking
coffee again. It's better for your heart.
44
00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:26,163
Why are you here?
45
00:03:26,164 --> 00:03:29,458
Is there a photo shoot
for Footballer Passion Project Magazine,
46
00:03:29,459 --> 00:03:30,543
or something?
47
00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:33,129
No, I just stopped by
to make sure everything was okay.
48
00:03:33,130 --> 00:03:34,756
Everything is perfect.
49
00:03:36,967 --> 00:03:38,843
Mm-hmm. What about the spoons?
50
00:03:45,267 --> 00:03:46,268
They don't match.
51
00:03:48,103 --> 00:03:53,734
Samuel, if the food is good, which it is,
no one cares about the spoons.
52
00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:56,862
- Am I right?
- Yes, Chef!
53
00:04:00,449 --> 00:04:04,745
You know, just...
My father is coming this weekend.
54
00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:08,790
So... Fuck. And I just...
I want everything to be perfect.
55
00:04:10,042 --> 00:04:12,001
He's coming all the way from Nigeria.
56
00:04:12,002 --> 00:04:14,254
Hmm. If this bitch lets him in.
57
00:04:40,822 --> 00:04:43,200
All right, fellas, focus up here.
58
00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:46,745
{\an8}Right about now,
Roy's gonna make things dark...
59
00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:52,000
{\an8}so that Coach Beard here
can shed some light. Coach.
60
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:57,839
{\an8}At the 1974 World Cup,
61
00:04:57,840 --> 00:05:00,508
{\an8}the tiny country of the Netherlands
came out of nowhere
62
00:05:00,509 --> 00:05:02,510
{\an8}and made it all the way
to the World Cup Final,
63
00:05:02,511 --> 00:05:05,430
{\an8}playing the home team,
heavily favored Germany.
64
00:05:06,765 --> 00:05:09,308
{\an8}Those Dutch hippies scored before
the Germans even touched the ball.
65
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:11,227
{\an8}Yeah, but Holland lost that game.
66
00:05:11,228 --> 00:05:15,649
{\an8}Correct. But along the way, they won
the hearts of fans all around the world
67
00:05:16,233 --> 00:05:22,322
{\an8}with a style of play... dare I say,
a philosophy... called Total Football.
68
00:05:23,031 --> 00:05:25,116
{\an8}Which, coincidentally, Coach dreamed up
69
00:05:25,117 --> 00:05:27,410
{\an8}in a barbecue-sauce-related hallucination
just last week.
70
00:05:28,787 --> 00:05:31,539
{\an8}No, it's true. But hey, it's not about me.
Go on, keep shining.
71
00:05:31,540 --> 00:05:33,124
{\an8}The best player on that team
72
00:05:33,125 --> 00:05:35,210
{\an8}and the godfather of Total Football
was this guy.
73
00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:36,878
Can anyone tell me who this is?
74
00:05:36,879 --> 00:05:38,881
That's Tim Robinson
from I Think You Should Leave.
75
00:05:39,464 --> 00:05:42,592
No. It is Dutch football legend,
Johan Cruyff.
76
00:05:42,593 --> 00:05:43,718
It's pronounced Cruijff.
77
00:05:43,719 --> 00:05:46,554
My apologies. With Total Football,
78
00:05:46,555 --> 00:05:49,098
- Johan Cruijff...
- That's it.
79
00:05:49,099 --> 00:05:52,311
{\an8}...took his small club Ajax
to three straight European titles.
80
00:05:52,895 --> 00:05:55,521
{\an8}Now, he later became a coach,
first at Ajax,
81
00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:57,857
{\an8}and then he took Total Football
to Barcelona,
82
00:05:57,858 --> 00:06:00,735
{\an8}where he won the Spanish championship
four years in a row.
83
00:06:00,736 --> 00:06:03,446
{\an8}Now a central cog of that team
was an industrious
84
00:06:03,447 --> 00:06:06,282
{\an8}but brilliant midfielder
named Josep Guardiola.
85
00:06:06,283 --> 00:06:08,201
{\an8}AKA Pep.
86
00:06:08,202 --> 00:06:10,578
Look at that head of hair.
87
00:06:10,579 --> 00:06:11,662
God had to take it away
88
00:06:11,663 --> 00:06:13,331
- just to balance things out, you know?
- Hmm.
89
00:06:13,332 --> 00:06:17,210
{\an8}Pep became a coach as well,
honing his own version of Total Football
90
00:06:17,211 --> 00:06:21,130
{\an8}that he took to Barcelona
and Bayern Munich,
91
00:06:21,131 --> 00:06:25,426
{\an8}eventually landing
at our great white whale, Manchester City.
92
00:06:28,180 --> 00:06:30,682
{\an8}Where he briefly coached
a very talented young player...
93
00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:34,894
until that beautiful dum-dum quit
to go do a reality show.
94
00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:37,980
I was robbed!
95
00:06:39,107 --> 00:06:42,985
Total Football is about constant movement.
Players are no longer in set positions.
96
00:06:42,986 --> 00:06:46,656
Defenders are free to attack.
Attackers are trusted to defend.
97
00:06:46,657 --> 00:06:49,951
It's about taking risks
and supporting each other's choices.
98
00:06:49,952 --> 00:06:52,620
{\an8}Like when your friend wears something new
and outside his comfort zone,
99
00:06:52,621 --> 00:06:55,248
{\an8}and instead of ignoring it,
everybody pays him a compliment.
100
00:06:55,249 --> 00:06:57,769
By the way, great hat, Ash.
101
00:06:58,252 --> 00:07:00,211
Oh, yeah.
102
00:07:00,212 --> 00:07:02,713
- It's pretty sweet. Hmm.
- Yeah, it frames his face nicely.
103
00:07:02,714 --> 00:07:05,758
Exactly. Total Football is about
letting go of your baggage
104
00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:07,218
and trusting your intuition.
105
00:07:07,219 --> 00:07:12,557
It's jazz. It's Motown. It's Mamet.
It's Pinter. It's Einstein.
106
00:07:12,558 --> 00:07:14,350
It's Keurig. It's Gaga!
107
00:07:14,351 --> 00:07:17,855
It's my mother proudly displaying
her vibrator on the bedside table!
108
00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:22,860
It's about throwing off the constraints
put upon you by society and by yourselves!
109
00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:25,529
We all know football is life.
110
00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:27,948
But a beautiful life...
111
00:07:29,491 --> 00:07:30,783
is Total Football.
112
00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:36,497
That's good. That's you right there.
113
00:07:36,498 --> 00:07:38,749
Give it up, that's Coach.
114
00:07:38,750 --> 00:07:40,334
{\an8}All right, fellas, we wanted y'all to know
115
00:07:40,335 --> 00:07:42,378
{\an8}a little bit about the history
of Total Football,
116
00:07:42,379 --> 00:07:44,338
{\an8}because that's what we're gonna
start playing here.
117
00:07:44,339 --> 00:07:46,674
{\an8}- What? No. No, no, no, wait. What?
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
118
00:07:46,675 --> 00:07:51,012
{\an8}Oi! You turn those frowns upside down
'cause we're fucking doing this.
119
00:07:51,013 --> 00:07:54,223
{\an8}We're gonna drill it, we're gonna train it
and then in a couple of months,
120
00:07:54,224 --> 00:07:56,809
{\an8}we're taking Total Football
to the fucking pitch.
121
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:58,936
No, actually we're gonna do it
this Saturday against Arsenal.
122
00:07:58,937 --> 00:08:01,022
- Well, that's fucking mental.
- No, it'll be fine.
123
00:08:01,023 --> 00:08:03,149
Oh, hush your butts!
124
00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:06,277
Hush your butt! Let's go. come on.
125
00:08:06,278 --> 00:08:09,238
No, no, no. Ah, cool it.
It's gonna be fine. I don't wanna hear it.
126
00:08:09,239 --> 00:08:11,032
- Let's go, come on!
- I hear butts!
127
00:08:11,033 --> 00:08:13,743
Hush your butt, hush your butt,
hush your butt. Gotta hush them butts.
128
00:08:13,744 --> 00:08:15,703
Isaac, come on, be a captain.
Get that butt hushed.
129
00:08:15,704 --> 00:08:17,789
I don't wanna hear it, Van Damme.
Hush your butt.
130
00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:24,962
{\an8}Oh, Ms. Jones, we have a problem. The...
Oh, no, wait, actually, no, we don't.
131
00:08:24,963 --> 00:08:28,174
{\an8}Sorry, sort of force of habit
or something.
132
00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:30,260
- Um, I'm just dropping this off.
- Thank you.
133
00:08:31,595 --> 00:08:34,180
Oh. That's...
That's very lovely. Oh, may I?
134
00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:35,264
Yeah, of course, go.
135
00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:39,436
Oh. I never would've, uh,
thought that you liked books.
136
00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:43,898
Uh, I mean, um,
that you collect first editions.
137
00:08:43,899 --> 00:08:46,067
{\an8}Oh, no, I don't.
That was a gift from Jack.
138
00:08:46,068 --> 00:08:51,113
{\an8}Oh, wow. What a very nice gift
to receive. From your boss.
139
00:08:51,114 --> 00:08:54,325
{\an8}She's not really my boss, right?
She's helping me execute my vision.
140
00:08:54,326 --> 00:08:57,954
{\an8}Oh, it must be nice to have
such a... a generous friend that, um,
141
00:08:57,955 --> 00:09:00,498
{\an8}delivers expensive gifts
to your place of work.
142
00:09:00,499 --> 00:09:03,260
No, no. She gave it to me this morning
when we had breakfast together.
143
00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:08,548
Coffee. We had, um...
We had a coffee together.
144
00:09:08,549 --> 00:09:11,384
At a coffee shop.
But we didn't arrive together.
145
00:09:11,385 --> 00:09:15,054
We came from sep... separate places,
and we met there.
146
00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:17,849
She was late actually.
147
00:09:17,850 --> 00:09:21,060
Well, I had a warm yogurt
on the tube in my pajamas.
148
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:22,770
You take the tube in your pajamas?
149
00:09:22,771 --> 00:09:25,273
Yeah, sometimes, yes.
When I want to beat the rush.
150
00:09:25,274 --> 00:09:28,693
And, um... And then I just get changed
in the... in the toilets when I get here.
151
00:09:28,694 --> 00:09:30,529
Ooh. Smart.
152
00:09:31,613 --> 00:09:33,240
- Ms. Jones.
- Barbara.
153
00:10:15,073 --> 00:10:17,450
- Hey, Siri.
- Yes, Wunderkind?
154
00:10:17,451 --> 00:10:19,535
Um, could you set a reminder
for tomorrow at 7:00 p.m.
155
00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:21,136
for Nicole's birthday dinner? Thank you.
156
00:10:21,705 --> 00:10:24,583
Okay, your reminder
is set for tomorrow at 7:00.
157
00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:32,299
- Siri.
- Yes, Wunderkind?
158
00:10:33,175 --> 00:10:35,775
How can you tell if a girl likes you
or is just being nice to you?
159
00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:37,554
You can't.
160
00:10:41,225 --> 00:10:44,185
So now I'm starting to get
all these subtle, little hints from Jane.
161
00:10:44,186 --> 00:10:46,812
Like, certain magazines left
on the coffee table
162
00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:49,106
and always hearing about her friends
who are doing it.
163
00:10:49,107 --> 00:10:51,150
Well, marriage is a big commitment,
you know?
164
00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:52,485
No, I'm talking about pegging.
165
00:10:52,486 --> 00:10:55,029
Oh. Well, still.
166
00:10:55,030 --> 00:10:56,114
Wait, what magazines?
167
00:10:57,449 --> 00:10:59,785
- Here you go, lads.
- Thanks, Mae.
168
00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:01,911
- You okay, Mae?
- No.
169
00:11:01,912 --> 00:11:07,793
We win, this place is packed.
We lose, it's like this.
170
00:11:08,293 --> 00:11:12,672
I actually prefer it. You can finally hear
yourself think in here.
171
00:11:12,673 --> 00:11:14,383
Fuck off.
172
00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:17,177
Hmm.
173
00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:23,266
Hey, Lasso. We wanted to apologize.
174
00:11:23,267 --> 00:11:25,643
- What for?
- For getting all soft on you.
175
00:11:25,644 --> 00:11:28,397
Yeah, we humanized you
and lost all objectivity.
176
00:11:28,939 --> 00:11:30,898
Main reason why farmers
don't name their livestock.
177
00:11:30,899 --> 00:11:33,734
And why we don't learn the names
of Baz's brother's girlfriends anymore.
178
00:11:33,735 --> 00:11:35,027
Because he's a male whore.
179
00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:37,906
Exactly.
So we're gonna backslide a little bit.
180
00:11:38,490 --> 00:11:40,616
Now what the fuck are you doing
to our team, wanker?
181
00:11:40,617 --> 00:11:42,243
- Okay.
- You... Well... N-Now, hold on,
182
00:11:42,244 --> 00:11:43,644
hold on, hold on, Coach.
183
00:11:44,872 --> 00:11:46,123
Well, I tell you what, fellas.
184
00:11:46,665 --> 00:11:49,251
Why don't you come watch
training tomorrow? See for yourselves.
185
00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:53,337
We ain't running a chocolate factory
or Deutsche Bank.
186
00:11:53,338 --> 00:11:55,757
We got nothing to hide from y'all.
See you tomorrow?
187
00:11:56,967 --> 00:11:59,386
Yeah. You will.
188
00:12:02,723 --> 00:12:03,848
What?
189
00:12:03,849 --> 00:12:06,017
- Should I wear a suit?
- I'm definitely gonna take a shower.
190
00:12:06,018 --> 00:12:08,102
- I mean, gotta do that. Yeah, definitely.
- Yeah.
191
00:12:08,103 --> 00:12:11,480
Coach, you sure it's smart
to invite fans to our practices?
192
00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:15,068
It's their team. We're just borrowing it
for a little while. You know?
193
00:12:16,278 --> 00:12:18,696
Anyway...
194
00:12:18,697 --> 00:12:20,781
I guess marriage and pegging
aren't really that different.
195
00:12:20,782 --> 00:12:22,701
Yeah, it's all about compromise.
196
00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:42,178
- There he is!
- God! Sorry.
197
00:12:42,179 --> 00:12:45,806
The hottest coach in the league!
198
00:12:45,807 --> 00:12:46,807
Thank you.
199
00:12:46,808 --> 00:12:51,437
I won a lot of money off your lot.
So, keep it up. Please.
200
00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:52,730
Table for one?
201
00:12:52,731 --> 00:12:56,234
Um, no, I thought I'd... Just passing.
Uh, is Jade working today? Do you know?
202
00:12:56,235 --> 00:12:58,695
No, she's off Tuesdays.
She goes to school.
203
00:12:59,363 --> 00:13:01,948
Or feeds her mum.
I don't listen, so I don't really know.
204
00:13:01,949 --> 00:13:04,367
Okay.
Well, um, just say that I said hello.
205
00:13:04,368 --> 00:13:07,745
Um... Actually, you know what,
don't... don't say anything. Um...
206
00:13:07,746 --> 00:13:11,374
Actually, no, do.
Uh, say, if you, um, uh, y...
207
00:13:11,375 --> 00:13:14,085
No. Just don't say anything.
Unless she asks after me.
208
00:13:14,086 --> 00:13:16,212
In which case, just say that I said hello.
209
00:13:16,213 --> 00:13:19,549
- And why would she ask after you?
- Exactly. I don't kn...
210
00:13:19,550 --> 00:13:21,008
Um, thank you, uh, Derek.
211
00:13:21,009 --> 00:13:24,971
Thank you. Bye. Um, uh, yes, no,
just... Yeah.
212
00:13:24,972 --> 00:13:28,308
All right.
213
00:13:30,102 --> 00:13:31,645
- Hey, Trent.
- Hello, Ted.
214
00:13:33,605 --> 00:13:35,773
- Hey, Ted!
- Hey, fellas!
215
00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:39,528
The fuck are they doing here?
216
00:13:40,028 --> 00:13:42,531
I don't know. Ask Beard,
he's the one who invited them.
217
00:13:45,951 --> 00:13:48,119
All right, my Merry Pranksters.
218
00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:51,831
If we're gonna play Total Football,
there are four things we need to focus on.
219
00:13:51,832 --> 00:13:56,210
All right? Number one, conditioning.
Y'all gotta get into even better shape.
220
00:13:56,211 --> 00:14:00,214
Number two, versatility.
Number three, awareness.
221
00:14:00,215 --> 00:14:01,341
And number four...
222
00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:05,052
I don't know what that one is yet.
But I know it's important.
223
00:14:05,053 --> 00:14:08,764
Starting today, we're gonna have
to turn things up a notch around here.
224
00:14:08,765 --> 00:14:11,184
So I'ma hand it over
to your drill instructor,
225
00:14:11,185 --> 00:14:13,270
Sergeant Roy Kent.
226
00:14:16,857 --> 00:14:19,192
Whistle! On your feet, maggots!
227
00:14:19,193 --> 00:14:21,945
Right.
228
00:14:22,571 --> 00:14:26,240
Today you're gonna run
from end to end to end to end.
229
00:14:26,241 --> 00:14:28,284
But lucky for you, I'm in a good mood.
230
00:14:28,285 --> 00:14:32,831
So you've only gotta do that
for the whole fucking practice.
231
00:14:33,457 --> 00:14:34,541
Whistle.
232
00:14:38,587 --> 00:14:41,131
- Why doesn't he just use a whistle?
- He's allergic to metal.
233
00:14:41,673 --> 00:14:43,634
Football stars, they're just like us.
234
00:14:44,676 --> 00:14:46,010
Run!
235
00:14:49,640 --> 00:14:51,320
You sure you don't want a plastic whistle?
236
00:14:55,229 --> 00:14:56,647
- Hi.
- Hi.
237
00:14:59,441 --> 00:15:03,319
- Ooh, cute flowers.
- Aw, thanks.
238
00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:04,612
Yeah, daisies are my favorite.
239
00:15:04,613 --> 00:15:06,865
- Huh. And I thought I was.
- Wait!
240
00:15:12,287 --> 00:15:13,538
Why'd you do that?
241
00:15:13,539 --> 00:15:16,250
Shit, you're right, yeah.
242
00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:21,546
- No. Off. On. On?
- Keeley. Keeley.
243
00:15:21,547 --> 00:15:24,549
- On or off? Off? On or off?
- Keeley. Keeley, s...
244
00:15:24,550 --> 00:15:26,884
- On? On. Do you want it on or off?
- Keeley. Keeley.
245
00:15:26,885 --> 00:15:30,639
- On or off? Off? On? Off or on?
- Stop. Give it... Give it to me. Thank you.
246
00:15:33,225 --> 00:15:34,809
- What's going on?
- I'm sorry.
247
00:15:34,810 --> 00:15:37,938
I am just not built
for a secret office romance.
248
00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:40,690
I'm used to everyone
knowing everything about me.
249
00:15:40,691 --> 00:15:42,400
Barbara saw the book that you gave me,
250
00:15:42,401 --> 00:15:44,902
and, uh, I didn't think that I could
tell her that we were dating,
251
00:15:44,903 --> 00:15:46,487
because I don't want us to get in trouble.
252
00:15:46,488 --> 00:15:50,409
We can't get into trouble
'cause we are two consenting adults.
253
00:15:51,285 --> 00:15:53,370
And I'm get-away-with-murder rich, so...
254
00:15:53,996 --> 00:15:55,621
- Really?
- Yeah.
255
00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:58,499
- Like who else? Name names.
- Everyone connected to Epstein.
256
00:15:58,500 --> 00:16:02,337
Keeley, I don't care if people
in the office know we're dating, do you?
257
00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:06,508
No, of course not. I just didn't know
how serious you were about this.
258
00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:08,468
Come with me.
259
00:16:09,970 --> 00:16:10,970
Okay.
260
00:16:12,931 --> 00:16:16,142
Hey, everyone. Uh, quick announcement.
261
00:16:16,143 --> 00:16:17,811
Keeley and I are dating.
262
00:16:18,395 --> 00:16:23,358
And it's... it's brand-new,
but I'm serious about it.
263
00:16:25,277 --> 00:16:29,572
And so both of us just wanted to let you
all know so that there were no secrets.
264
00:16:29,573 --> 00:16:32,910
'Cause it's... it's all good.
I'm not crazy. She's not crazy.
265
00:16:33,535 --> 00:16:34,786
You're not crazy, right?
266
00:16:35,621 --> 00:16:37,301
Neither of us are crazy.
267
00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:41,375
But, if any of you have
any issues or concerns about this at all,
268
00:16:41,376 --> 00:16:45,881
please do not hesitate to come
and speak to me or Keeley or Barbara.
269
00:16:46,507 --> 00:16:47,507
Cool?
270
00:16:49,384 --> 00:16:50,427
Cool.
271
00:16:51,428 --> 00:16:55,224
And congratulations, Jack and Keeley.
272
00:16:56,350 --> 00:16:59,311
- Love is love, I... Right.
- No, that's enough, Dan. Thank you.
273
00:17:18,413 --> 00:17:20,789
This is some of the best puking
I've ever seen.
274
00:17:20,790 --> 00:17:23,543
Yeah, me too. And we spend
most of our lives at the pub.
275
00:17:26,672 --> 00:17:31,843
All right. Nice job, gentlemen.
Okay, that's it for today.
276
00:17:31,844 --> 00:17:33,219
Now we scrimmage!
277
00:17:36,473 --> 00:17:38,349
Honestly, my jacket's still a bit canal-y.
278
00:17:38,350 --> 00:17:41,602
It's really bad. Mmm.
279
00:17:41,603 --> 00:17:43,897
Okay, so, you never got his name?
280
00:17:45,232 --> 00:17:46,775
And you never told him yours?
281
00:17:48,694 --> 00:17:50,778
Yeah, see,
that part's not that weird to me.
282
00:17:50,779 --> 00:17:54,615
If you really didn't have sex
with the guy, now that is fucking bonkers.
283
00:17:54,616 --> 00:17:56,910
Look, what we shared, it just...
284
00:17:58,453 --> 00:18:01,665
It transcended sex. It was...
285
00:18:02,291 --> 00:18:03,959
- Magic.
- Gezellig.
286
00:18:06,461 --> 00:18:08,171
But, yeah, I would've liked
to have seen his penis.
287
00:18:08,172 --> 00:18:13,176
- Oh! It is so good to see you.
- Oh, you too.
288
00:18:13,177 --> 00:18:15,136
- It has been way too long.
- Hmm.
289
00:18:15,137 --> 00:18:17,096
Because I've lost you to another woman.
290
00:18:17,097 --> 00:18:19,892
- I know. I'm sorry.
- Oh, I am joking.
291
00:18:20,976 --> 00:18:23,227
So come on. How's it going?
292
00:18:23,228 --> 00:18:27,023
- Oh, it is great. I mean, she is so cool.
- Mmm.
293
00:18:27,024 --> 00:18:29,775
She's smart. Super foxy.
294
00:18:29,776 --> 00:18:31,570
- Mmm.
- She's an amazing gift-giver.
295
00:18:32,988 --> 00:18:36,949
Oh, my God, and the way she proclaimed
our relationship to the entire office.
296
00:18:36,950 --> 00:18:38,993
It was so fucking hot.
297
00:18:38,994 --> 00:18:42,747
Mmm. I think she might be
love bombing you.
298
00:18:42,748 --> 00:18:45,083
- She's "love what-ing" me?
- Love bombing.
299
00:18:45,709 --> 00:18:49,378
That's when you're bombarded
with expensive gifts and trips
300
00:18:49,379 --> 00:18:52,256
and grand gestures of love.
301
00:18:52,257 --> 00:18:54,217
They call it love bombing.
302
00:18:54,218 --> 00:18:56,762
- Who does?
- I don't know. They do.
303
00:18:57,304 --> 00:18:59,348
Those "they" out there that name stuff.
304
00:19:00,516 --> 00:19:04,810
But what I do know is that
on my second date with Rupert...
305
00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:06,354
- Second date...
- Hmm.
306
00:19:06,355 --> 00:19:08,606
He took me to a car showroom
and said, "Which one do you want?"
307
00:19:08,607 --> 00:19:11,150
- Oh, I would fucking love that.
- Oh.
308
00:19:11,151 --> 00:19:12,110
What did you do?
309
00:19:12,111 --> 00:19:15,321
Well, I asked him if he was referring
to the cars or the beautiful saleswomen
310
00:19:15,322 --> 00:19:17,156
suddenly tripping over themselves
to help us.
311
00:19:17,157 --> 00:19:20,201
And?
312
00:19:20,202 --> 00:19:22,787
I drove home in a bloody lovely Jaguar,
of course.
313
00:19:24,039 --> 00:19:28,335
It just felt nice to be taken care of
for once.
314
00:19:29,628 --> 00:19:30,879
Mmm.
315
00:19:31,755 --> 00:19:32,756
Look,
316
00:19:33,632 --> 00:19:36,218
I'm not saying that Jack is like Rupert.
317
00:19:36,885 --> 00:19:40,681
But sometimes shiny things can tarnish.
318
00:19:41,473 --> 00:19:43,058
I think it's fine.
319
00:19:43,725 --> 00:19:46,894
Okay, good. Good.
320
00:19:46,895 --> 00:19:48,897
Just trust yourself.
321
00:19:49,982 --> 00:19:52,693
I ignored so many red flags in my past.
322
00:19:53,277 --> 00:19:55,945
Yeah. Well, maybe we're love blind?
323
00:19:55,946 --> 00:19:57,446
Ooh, love blind. What's that?
324
00:19:57,447 --> 00:20:01,158
It's an emotional version of
color blindness where a person interprets
325
00:20:01,159 --> 00:20:04,871
red flags as giant green,
just-fucking-go-for-it flags.
326
00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:09,084
- Did you come up with that?
- Yeah, I did.
327
00:20:09,793 --> 00:20:12,545
Oh, my God. You're one of those
"they" that name stuff.
328
00:20:12,546 --> 00:20:15,381
- Shit, I think I might be.
- I think you might be.
329
00:20:16,508 --> 00:20:18,926
Oh, sorry, excuse me.
Could we get the bill, please? Thank you.
330
00:20:18,927 --> 00:20:22,723
Actually, the bill was already
taken care of by Jack.
331
00:20:23,307 --> 00:20:24,891
She said she hopes
you both enjoyed your meal.
332
00:20:24,892 --> 00:20:27,435
What a massive surprise.
333
00:20:27,436 --> 00:20:29,979
- Wow, yeah.
- What?
334
00:20:29,980 --> 00:20:32,607
Well, then I think we ought to have
some tiramisu. Don't you?
335
00:20:32,608 --> 00:20:34,525
- Definitely. Mm-hmm.
- Oh, and, uh, two bottles
336
00:20:34,526 --> 00:20:38,739
of the '34 Château Cheval Blanc
Saint-Emilion Premier Grand Cru to go.
337
00:20:39,323 --> 00:20:40,616
And one for yourself. Mmm.
338
00:20:46,955 --> 00:20:48,831
Happy birthday, Mum.
339
00:20:48,832 --> 00:20:52,126
Ooh, wow.
340
00:20:52,127 --> 00:20:53,461
I love it.
341
00:20:53,462 --> 00:20:56,088
Well, it was my vision,
but Uncle Nate made it happen.
342
00:20:56,089 --> 00:20:57,889
- Ah.
- She was actually quite specific. So...
343
00:20:59,468 --> 00:21:02,137
Thank you, cheeky. Thanks, Nate.
344
00:21:02,721 --> 00:21:05,265
Let's have a look, love. It's lovely.
345
00:21:05,933 --> 00:21:07,808
So, come on.
346
00:21:07,809 --> 00:21:09,602
You're the hottest coach
in the Premier League,
347
00:21:09,603 --> 00:21:12,772
which makes me
the coolest lawyer in the firm.
348
00:21:12,773 --> 00:21:14,941
Please tell me you're hooking up
with girls left and right.
349
00:21:14,942 --> 00:21:20,280
Okay, I... I don't think this kind of talk
is appropriate for a young lady.
350
00:21:20,822 --> 00:21:22,281
- Who wants ice cream?
- I do.
351
00:21:22,282 --> 00:21:24,659
Great. Let's go to the corner shop.
352
00:21:24,660 --> 00:21:27,370
Ali, come with us.
Let them have their girl talk.
353
00:21:29,373 --> 00:21:31,249
Come on, love. See you in a little bit.
354
00:21:31,250 --> 00:21:32,376
Bye.
355
00:21:33,544 --> 00:21:35,295
Okay, tell me everything.
356
00:21:36,338 --> 00:21:38,965
Uh, okay. Well, there's this girl I like.
357
00:21:38,966 --> 00:21:43,135
- Uh, she's the hostess at Taste of Athens.
- Ooh, mmm.
358
00:21:43,136 --> 00:21:46,180
Uh, she used to hate me, um, but now she...
359
00:21:46,181 --> 00:21:48,516
Well... Well, I... I don't know.
360
00:21:48,517 --> 00:21:50,643
I've misread signals
from women before, but...
361
00:21:50,644 --> 00:21:53,771
I mean, how do you tell if a girl
likes you or is just being nice to you?
362
00:21:53,772 --> 00:21:54,940
You can't.
363
00:21:55,983 --> 00:21:58,861
But there is one surefire way to find out.
364
00:21:59,444 --> 00:22:00,862
- Right.
- Ask her out.
365
00:22:00,863 --> 00:22:03,155
No, I can't... No, I can't...
Can't do that. No.
366
00:22:03,156 --> 00:22:05,408
Come on, what is the worst
that could happen?
367
00:22:05,409 --> 00:22:07,326
Well, that she laughs
in my face and says no.
368
00:22:07,327 --> 00:22:09,161
And that I scurry away, humiliated,
369
00:22:09,162 --> 00:22:11,455
never to be allowed
in my favorite restaurant ever again.
370
00:22:11,456 --> 00:22:13,749
So that next time we have
some kind of family celebration,
371
00:22:13,750 --> 00:22:16,252
I'll just have to, you know,
sit on the pavement outside
372
00:22:16,253 --> 00:22:17,461
eating takeaway fish and chips,
373
00:22:17,462 --> 00:22:20,465
watching you through the window
like some Dickensian street urchin.
374
00:22:21,049 --> 00:22:22,050
Oh, my God.
375
00:22:22,926 --> 00:22:26,345
He's just like Dad.
You have to show him the map.
376
00:22:26,346 --> 00:22:28,514
No, your father would kill me.
377
00:22:28,515 --> 00:22:30,893
- Show him the map.
- What map?
378
00:22:35,939 --> 00:22:38,692
Your father and I went
to school together for years,
379
00:22:39,193 --> 00:22:43,530
but I didn't think he even knew I existed,
until he gave me this.
380
00:22:47,743 --> 00:22:52,371
{\an8}"Distance between the places
that we were born, 4,125 miles.
381
00:22:52,372 --> 00:22:56,001
{\an8}Distance between the places
that we were raised, 4,230 miles.
382
00:22:56,585 --> 00:23:00,421
{\an8}Distance between
our dorms on campus, 1.3 miles.
383
00:23:00,422 --> 00:23:04,926
{\an8}Distance between us on Friday night
at 8:00 p.m., hopefully one foot.
384
00:23:04,927 --> 00:23:06,553
{\an8}Would you like to go on a date?"
385
00:23:09,848 --> 00:23:11,140
Stop waiting, Nathan.
386
00:23:11,141 --> 00:23:14,143
Yes, you could fail and be embarrassed
for a second.
387
00:23:14,144 --> 00:23:17,856
But you could also get married,
have two wonderful children
388
00:23:18,357 --> 00:23:21,275
and live happily ever after.
389
00:23:23,403 --> 00:23:25,113
- Oh, shit.
- We're back.
390
00:23:26,031 --> 00:23:27,448
{\an8}Quick, distract him.
391
00:23:52,015 --> 00:23:55,309
That is carrying
a large group of refugees,
392
00:23:55,310 --> 00:24:00,481
including several women and children,
who are hoping to claim asylum in the UK.
393
00:24:00,482 --> 00:24:02,149
What's going on?
394
00:24:02,150 --> 00:24:03,484
In Portsmouth.
395
00:24:03,485 --> 00:24:05,965
The boat is now kilometers
from Portsmouth Harbor,
396
00:24:06,071 --> 00:24:09,282
{\an8}where its passengers, dozens of refugees,
hope to find sanctuary.
397
00:24:09,283 --> 00:24:11,742
{\an8}Hundreds of supporters
await their arrival.
398
00:24:11,743 --> 00:24:16,038
{\an8}While others, such as Home Secretary
Brinda Barot, had this to say.
399
00:24:16,039 --> 00:24:20,669
{\an8}To anyone attempting to enter
our country illegally, I say this.
400
00:24:21,420 --> 00:24:23,713
{\an8}"Go home. Britain is closed."
401
00:24:23,714 --> 00:24:25,464
Over the last few days...
402
00:24:25,465 --> 00:24:27,968
- What a stupid idiot. Mmm.
- What a piece of shit.
403
00:24:28,552 --> 00:24:31,053
You know, someone needs
to send her back to where she came from.
404
00:24:31,054 --> 00:24:33,848
- Her mother's butthole. Right?
- Yes, Chef!
405
00:24:33,849 --> 00:24:37,059
Or somebody could try and speak
to the better angels
406
00:24:37,060 --> 00:24:38,937
of this clearly misguided person.
407
00:24:47,654 --> 00:24:49,907
{\an8}- Bitch.
- What?
408
00:24:50,490 --> 00:24:53,410
It should say, "Help make Britain
better than this bitch."
409
00:24:58,665 --> 00:25:00,209
I... I think I'll stick with mine.
410
00:25:01,126 --> 00:25:02,127
Yeah.
411
00:25:12,971 --> 00:25:14,055
{\an8}- Hi.
- Hello there.
412
00:25:14,056 --> 00:25:15,306
{\an8}Nate.
413
00:25:15,307 --> 00:25:19,353
{\an8}Um, there's something that I wanted
to ask you. Um, would you...
414
00:25:23,398 --> 00:25:24,775
{\an8}Excuse me one m-moment.
415
00:25:27,069 --> 00:25:28,487
So... So sorry. Sorry.
416
00:25:51,885 --> 00:25:54,429
Actually, there's, uh, one thing
I need to do first. Sorry.
417
00:26:03,272 --> 00:26:05,523
Whistle. Whistle. Bring it in.
418
00:26:09,027 --> 00:26:10,486
All right, fellas.
How y'all feeling?
419
00:26:11,447 --> 00:26:12,655
Oh.
420
00:26:12,656 --> 00:26:14,532
Ah.
421
00:26:14,533 --> 00:26:16,909
Bumbercatch,
did you just puke whole Cheerios?
422
00:26:16,910 --> 00:26:19,872
Yes, Coach. I like to eat my breakfast
without chewing.
423
00:26:20,372 --> 00:26:23,875
To conserve my energy in case
an impending class war breaks out.
424
00:26:23,876 --> 00:26:25,459
Yeah, no, makes sense. I get it. Yeah.
425
00:26:25,460 --> 00:26:29,088
Uh, all right, gentlemen,
today we are gonna focus on versatility.
426
00:26:29,089 --> 00:26:31,799
Now, in Total Football,
you gotta constantly be asking yourself,
427
00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:34,260
"What does this situation need right now?"
428
00:26:34,261 --> 00:26:37,555
You know, do I need to drop back
and replace Jan Maas on defense?
429
00:26:37,556 --> 00:26:39,849
Or... Or, you know,
should I attack like Jamie?
430
00:26:39,850 --> 00:26:42,351
Or, you know, or do I lend Roy here
a piece of gum
431
00:26:42,352 --> 00:26:43,728
because his breath smells like dookie?
432
00:26:43,729 --> 00:26:46,939
Completely hypothetical.
Don't worry. You're fine, you're fine.
433
00:26:46,940 --> 00:26:49,984
All right? You gotta be able to jump in
anywhere at any time.
434
00:26:49,985 --> 00:26:52,445
And the way to do that well
is to understand
435
00:26:52,446 --> 00:26:56,699
and appreciate everyone's position
and every position's function.
436
00:26:56,700 --> 00:27:00,746
That's why we got our man, Beard,
replacing Will today as our kitman.
437
00:27:04,124 --> 00:27:06,417
Yeah. So when we get out here
and we scrimmage,
438
00:27:06,418 --> 00:27:09,171
y'all are gonna be swapping positions
with someone else. Yeah?
439
00:27:09,671 --> 00:27:12,548
Uh, for example, you know, Isaac,
we're gonna move you up to forward.
440
00:27:12,549 --> 00:27:15,009
And Dani, we're gonna drop you
back to defense. Got it?
441
00:27:15,010 --> 00:27:16,469
I'm gonna be Dani Rojas?
442
00:27:16,470 --> 00:27:19,388
That's right, Isaac.
And Dani is gonna be you. Make sense?
443
00:27:19,389 --> 00:27:21,516
We're gonna fuck 'em up, bruv.
444
00:27:21,517 --> 00:27:23,100
Ay, Dios mios.
445
00:27:23,101 --> 00:27:24,644
Y'all don't need to do the voices.
446
00:27:24,645 --> 00:27:26,979
- Aw! Come on.
- Okay, all right. Y'all can do the voices.
447
00:27:26,980 --> 00:27:28,856
Yeah.
448
00:27:28,857 --> 00:27:30,191
You go ahead, Roy. Help 'em out here.
449
00:27:30,192 --> 00:27:32,944
Roy's gonna be handing out paper
that's got someone's name on it.
450
00:27:32,945 --> 00:27:35,404
That's the name of the person
you're gonna do the swaparoo with.
451
00:27:35,405 --> 00:27:37,031
- Everybody understand?
- Yes, Coach.
452
00:27:37,032 --> 00:27:38,783
All right, good. Coach, I miss anything?
453
00:27:38,784 --> 00:27:42,203
- That's it, baby. Let's go!
- All right, let's do it. You heard him.
454
00:27:46,166 --> 00:27:47,751
Here we go, boys. Here we go.
455
00:28:00,889 --> 00:28:02,932
- There you go, Coach.
- Oh. Thank you, Coach.
456
00:28:02,933 --> 00:28:06,602
Hey, Coach.
Uh, there's been a mistake. I got me.
457
00:28:06,603 --> 00:28:08,104
Oh, no, Jamie, that's not a mistake.
458
00:28:08,105 --> 00:28:10,481
We just figured you'd wanna keep doing
what you do best for us.
459
00:28:10,482 --> 00:28:13,068
Playing striker and scoring goals, right?
460
00:28:14,486 --> 00:28:16,988
Uh, yeah.
461
00:28:16,989 --> 00:28:19,241
- Yeah, uh, if you want, yeah.
- Great.
462
00:28:22,828 --> 00:28:24,328
- Okay.
- Have fun out there.
463
00:28:24,329 --> 00:28:25,329
Yeah.
464
00:28:28,250 --> 00:28:30,376
That is yummy. What is this?
465
00:28:30,377 --> 00:28:31,795
- Water.
- Mmm.
466
00:28:32,337 --> 00:28:35,132
- I'm wide.
- Let's go! Let's go!
467
00:28:41,722 --> 00:28:44,933
Nice try, Van Damme.
You tried your best, and we love you.
468
00:28:45,976 --> 00:28:46,935
Baz, what are you doing?
469
00:28:46,936 --> 00:28:48,728
I'm switching positions with Paul.
470
00:28:48,729 --> 00:28:51,857
You know, unwavering positivity.
471
00:28:52,482 --> 00:28:54,484
Nice job with the water bottles,
Coach Beard.
472
00:28:57,571 --> 00:28:58,906
You fucking twats!
473
00:28:59,489 --> 00:29:02,950
I don't like it.
I actually prefer to be me.
474
00:29:05,329 --> 00:29:07,413
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold up. Hold up.
475
00:29:07,414 --> 00:29:10,583
Dani. Come on, now.
You're a center back, remember?
476
00:29:10,584 --> 00:29:13,127
That ain't your job taking corners.
That's what Isaac does now.
477
00:29:13,128 --> 00:29:15,463
- Right. Right, Coach.
- Isaac, come on, man. You're up.
478
00:29:15,464 --> 00:29:16,672
- All right, Isaac.
- Let's go.
479
00:29:16,673 --> 00:29:18,466
- You've got this, bruv.
- All right, now.
480
00:29:18,467 --> 00:29:20,259
Coach,
I ain't never taken a corner before.
481
00:29:20,260 --> 00:29:23,304
No, I know. That's 'cause
you were put into a box, Isaac.
482
00:29:23,305 --> 00:29:27,267
As a ten-year-old little boy with the
strength and facial hair of a grown man.
483
00:29:27,809 --> 00:29:31,145
The box of a center back who was
never allowed to take a corner kick.
484
00:29:31,146 --> 00:29:34,525
Well, my friend,
that box ceases to exist today.
485
00:29:35,067 --> 00:29:36,485
Yeah? Go on.
486
00:29:37,194 --> 00:29:38,569
What do you want me to do?
487
00:29:38,570 --> 00:29:40,906
I don't know.
Just kick the hell out of it.
488
00:29:41,698 --> 00:29:43,325
Okay.
489
00:29:58,173 --> 00:30:01,092
Ow, ho... hot! Hot tea. Ow.
490
00:30:06,473 --> 00:30:08,141
Just a bit outside.
491
00:30:44,303 --> 00:30:48,431
Ted. I just want to make sure
I have this right.
492
00:30:48,432 --> 00:30:51,684
You're gonna change tactics
at this stage in the season
493
00:30:51,685 --> 00:30:53,769
and replace it with a totally new method
494
00:30:53,770 --> 00:30:56,732
that the boys are clearly struggling
to understand.
495
00:30:57,566 --> 00:30:59,233
And you think this is a good idea?
496
00:30:59,234 --> 00:31:01,402
Mmm. Well, Trent, the way I see it,
497
00:31:01,403 --> 00:31:04,238
it's kind of like taking a hike
with Robert Frost.
498
00:31:04,239 --> 00:31:06,241
It could go either way. Hmm?
499
00:31:14,958 --> 00:31:17,627
- Get the fuck out of my chair.
- Yeah, no, of course. Sorry.
500
00:31:51,620 --> 00:31:53,205
Oh, my God.
501
00:32:01,338 --> 00:32:05,049
Okay, Greyhounds. Today we're talking
about number three, awareness.
502
00:32:05,050 --> 00:32:06,676
When you play Total Football,
503
00:32:06,677 --> 00:32:09,387
you gotta know what your teammates
are doing at all times.
504
00:32:09,388 --> 00:32:13,224
Constant movement requires
constant concentration, yeah?
505
00:32:13,225 --> 00:32:16,269
So if Sam makes a run through the center,
y'all gotta shift, right?
506
00:32:16,270 --> 00:32:18,813
And if Dani moves back on defense,
that means what?
507
00:32:18,814 --> 00:32:21,023
Hell has frozen over?
508
00:32:21,024 --> 00:32:22,316
No, it means you've gotta move up
509
00:32:22,317 --> 00:32:24,485
and support Dani's choice.
510
00:32:24,486 --> 00:32:26,153
Okay, any questions so far?
511
00:32:26,154 --> 00:32:28,155
Uh, yeah, Coach.
What's with the red string?
512
00:32:28,156 --> 00:32:29,740
Ah, great question.
513
00:32:29,741 --> 00:32:33,244
In Japanese culture,
they have a myth where they believe
514
00:32:33,245 --> 00:32:37,206
that all soulmates are connected
by an invisible red string.
515
00:32:37,207 --> 00:32:40,961
And those strings are attached to each
of their little fingers. Hmm?
516
00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:44,672
Okay, so why is it tied around our dicks?
517
00:32:44,673 --> 00:32:46,800
Yeah.
518
00:32:48,969 --> 00:32:50,887
Yeah. Well, you know, that was Roy's idea.
519
00:32:50,888 --> 00:32:53,472
Uh, but I'm pretty sure
the thought behind it is that
520
00:32:53,473 --> 00:32:56,517
it is nearly impossible to not be
fully aware of what your teammate's doing
521
00:32:56,518 --> 00:32:58,645
when y'all got a rope
tied around your dingdong.
522
00:32:59,271 --> 00:33:00,396
Am I right about that, Roy?
523
00:33:00,397 --> 00:33:02,274
Yeah. Something like that.
524
00:33:03,400 --> 00:33:05,026
Okay, great. Uh, yeah.
525
00:33:05,027 --> 00:33:08,196
So we gonna get after this right now,
gonna do a full scrimmage at half speed.
526
00:33:08,197 --> 00:33:10,781
And I don't wanna see
them strings get too loose.
527
00:33:10,782 --> 00:33:13,159
And I'll leave it up to y'all
to make sure they don't get too tight.
528
00:33:13,160 --> 00:33:15,369
Do not leave my side.
529
00:33:15,370 --> 00:33:16,662
Shall we?
530
00:33:16,663 --> 00:33:18,331
"Dicks" on three.
One, two, three.
531
00:33:18,332 --> 00:33:20,041
- Dicks.
- Come on, let's move.
532
00:33:23,170 --> 00:33:25,631
Figure it out! This is what we're doing.
533
00:33:43,524 --> 00:33:45,358
Ow, ow, ow, ow.
534
00:33:45,359 --> 00:33:49,070
- Fucking hell. Look at me, man.
- Ow!
535
00:33:49,071 --> 00:33:50,613
I'm attacking. I'm attacking.
536
00:33:50,614 --> 00:33:52,157
I'm defending. I'm defending.
537
00:33:53,408 --> 00:33:56,119
Whoa. Ja... Ja... Jan!
Jan, Jan, Jan, Jan, Jan, Jan!
538
00:33:57,913 --> 00:33:59,747
Look what Kent gave me.
In case we wanted to...
539
00:33:59,748 --> 00:34:00,874
- No.
- No fucking way.
540
00:34:03,293 --> 00:34:06,253
- You wanna give him a little space, Dani.
- Sorry, Coach, I am too scared.
541
00:34:10,926 --> 00:34:12,386
Bro, do you wanna...
542
00:34:21,645 --> 00:34:23,085
Ooh.
543
00:34:40,706 --> 00:34:43,292
It's okay. His penis is okay.
544
00:34:44,126 --> 00:34:45,626
Oh, my God.
545
00:34:45,627 --> 00:34:47,628
I thought I just ripped Jamie's knob off.
546
00:34:48,547 --> 00:34:49,547
Ooh.
547
00:34:50,716 --> 00:34:54,344
Oh. I'm sorry. I'm sorry about that.
548
00:34:55,762 --> 00:34:57,431
Okay.
549
00:36:07,125 --> 00:36:08,501
Hi!
550
00:36:08,502 --> 00:36:10,587
Hi.
551
00:36:11,505 --> 00:36:14,465
Oh, sorry that I am late.
552
00:36:14,466 --> 00:36:16,676
I'm in no rush. I got you something.
553
00:36:16,677 --> 00:36:17,928
I don't want it.
554
00:36:18,595 --> 00:36:19,513
Sorry.
555
00:36:19,514 --> 00:36:23,642
I'm sure whatever it is, it is incredibly
thoughtful and mind-blowingly generous.
556
00:36:24,142 --> 00:36:25,018
But I don't want it.
557
00:36:25,019 --> 00:36:27,395
- Keeley, I just got you a...
- No, I don't even wanna know what it is.
558
00:36:27,396 --> 00:36:29,272
No. I just wanna hang out one time
559
00:36:29,273 --> 00:36:31,524
where it doesn't feel
like you're sweeping me off my feet.
560
00:36:31,525 --> 00:36:33,609
Okay.
Sorry for sweeping you off your feet.
561
00:36:33,610 --> 00:36:35,236
No. Hey, I didn't mean...
562
00:36:35,237 --> 00:36:39,657
No, no. It's okay. I get it.
It's, uh, absolutely what I'm doing.
563
00:36:39,658 --> 00:36:44,287
I'm coming on too fast or too strong,
I'm... I'm sorry. I'll back off.
564
00:36:44,288 --> 00:36:46,832
But just a little bit.
565
00:36:47,541 --> 00:36:51,544
It was a croissant. I got you a croissant.
566
00:36:51,545 --> 00:36:54,506
Oh.
567
00:36:56,008 --> 00:36:58,218
Oi. You're incredible.
568
00:36:58,802 --> 00:37:01,597
But you've gotta let me do something
for you every once in a while.
569
00:37:03,182 --> 00:37:04,182
Deal.
570
00:37:05,100 --> 00:37:06,143
Thank you.
571
00:37:08,061 --> 00:37:11,857
But it better be fucking amazing.
572
00:37:17,404 --> 00:37:18,780
It's the last one, I s... I swear.
573
00:37:21,325 --> 00:37:22,533
Verdict?
574
00:37:22,534 --> 00:37:24,493
It's a really, really good croissant.
575
00:38:03,951 --> 00:38:05,511
Would you like to go on a date with me?
576
00:38:06,036 --> 00:38:07,246
Yes.
577
00:38:08,997 --> 00:38:11,875
Good. Good.
578
00:38:13,752 --> 00:38:16,088
There wasn't anything alive in there,
was there?
579
00:38:16,672 --> 00:38:19,424
Oh, no. No, no. No, not at all.
580
00:38:20,467 --> 00:38:21,635
If you say so.
581
00:39:45,344 --> 00:39:46,344
There you go, sir.
582
00:40:01,193 --> 00:40:02,513
I've given this a lot of thought.
583
00:40:02,986 --> 00:40:09,492
Next time we do this drill, we tie
multiple guys' dicks to one guy's dick.
584
00:40:09,493 --> 00:40:10,577
Yeah?
585
00:40:13,288 --> 00:40:14,705
That was a one-shot deal, Roy.
586
00:40:14,706 --> 00:40:17,291
Yeah, I'm pretty sure
we cooked that whole bird already, Coach.
587
00:40:17,292 --> 00:40:19,211
Huh. Shame.
588
00:40:20,754 --> 00:40:23,089
- So, Ted.
- Hmm?
589
00:40:23,090 --> 00:40:25,007
- This number four.
- Yes, sir.
590
00:40:25,008 --> 00:40:27,593
- You haven't said what it is yet.
- No, ma'am.
591
00:40:27,594 --> 00:40:31,055
- But you know what it is?
- I don't actually. Mm-mmm.
592
00:40:31,056 --> 00:40:32,473
- What about you, Coach?
- I'm agnostic.
593
00:40:32,474 --> 00:40:34,393
- Mm-hmm. Roy?
- I don't fucking know.
594
00:40:35,018 --> 00:40:36,644
Number four has yet to reveal itself.
595
00:40:36,645 --> 00:40:37,854
There is no number four?
596
00:40:37,855 --> 00:40:39,313
Like the man once said,
597
00:40:39,314 --> 00:40:42,024
"Sometimes you gotta leave space
to let God walk into the room."
598
00:40:42,025 --> 00:40:43,818
Ah. So, number four is God?
599
00:40:43,819 --> 00:40:45,528
Oh, no. I don't think so. Coach?
600
00:40:45,529 --> 00:40:47,196
- I'm an atheist.
- Mm-hmm. Roy?
601
00:40:47,197 --> 00:40:49,282
- I fucking hope not.
- Mmm.
602
00:40:51,118 --> 00:40:54,398
Oi, man, you're ten minutes late,
yeah? That's gonna be a hundo, all right?
603
00:40:55,998 --> 00:40:57,123
The fuck's wrong with you?
604
00:40:57,124 --> 00:40:58,541
I'll tell you what's wrong.
605
00:40:58,542 --> 00:41:01,377
The world is full of evil people
who do shitty things.
606
00:41:01,378 --> 00:41:04,178
But I can't deal with that because I have
to kick a little ball around.
607
00:41:05,257 --> 00:41:07,801
W-Which those same people love me for!
608
00:41:08,635 --> 00:41:11,971
That is until I fuck up
or... or I miss a penalty.
609
00:41:11,972 --> 00:41:14,265
Or... Or... Or I...
I decide to fight back...
610
00:41:14,266 --> 00:41:17,101
And then they're just gonna wanna
ship me back wherever I fucking came from.
611
00:41:17,102 --> 00:41:19,438
Samuel!
612
00:41:37,998 --> 00:41:39,208
It's okay.
613
00:41:42,961 --> 00:41:44,712
You know, I still want to go see it.
614
00:41:44,713 --> 00:41:47,256
No. No, no, no.
I... I can't take you there.
615
00:41:47,257 --> 00:41:48,967
No. Not the way it looks now.
616
00:41:49,593 --> 00:41:51,887
Do you know
how long it will take you to reopen?
617
00:41:52,763 --> 00:41:54,138
I don't know if I will.
618
00:41:54,139 --> 00:41:56,140
- Samuel.
- What?
619
00:41:56,141 --> 00:42:00,019
W-Why? For who? Just so
somebody can go and trash it again.
620
00:42:00,020 --> 00:42:01,939
You do it for yourself.
621
00:42:03,023 --> 00:42:04,399
For your friend Simi.
622
00:42:05,067 --> 00:42:08,111
For all those people who want
a taste of home when they are away.
623
00:42:09,363 --> 00:42:10,988
Follow your heart, Samuel.
624
00:42:10,989 --> 00:42:13,033
Anger will only weaken you.
625
00:42:14,159 --> 00:42:15,744
Yeah. Okay.
626
00:42:16,245 --> 00:42:19,289
But if you really want to piss off
the people who did this,
627
00:42:20,582 --> 00:42:21,624
forgive them.
628
00:42:21,625 --> 00:42:22,834
What?
629
00:42:22,835 --> 00:42:25,628
- Forgive them.
- Big whoop.
630
00:42:25,629 --> 00:42:28,172
- Big whoop?
- Big whoop.
631
00:42:30,342 --> 00:42:33,554
My son, listen to me.
632
00:42:34,221 --> 00:42:38,433
Don't fight back. Fight forward.
633
00:42:43,021 --> 00:42:45,022
Thank you, Daddy.
634
00:42:49,987 --> 00:42:51,904
Do you think I should invest
in security cameras?
635
00:42:51,905 --> 00:42:54,031
Hell yes. And gates.
636
00:42:54,032 --> 00:42:55,867
Please tell me you have insurance.
637
00:42:55,868 --> 00:42:56,909
I have insurance.
638
00:42:56,910 --> 00:43:00,329
Thank God. Otherwise,
your mother would have killed me.
639
00:43:00,330 --> 00:43:02,206
Ooh.
640
00:43:02,207 --> 00:43:05,126
- Are you gonna have any trouble?
- No. Insurance!
641
00:43:07,421 --> 00:43:09,297
Hey. I'm sorry to interrupt y'all.
642
00:43:09,298 --> 00:43:11,300
Um, Sam,
we're getting ready to start out there.
643
00:43:12,134 --> 00:43:15,095
But, you know, if you wanna sit out today,
I totally understand.
644
00:43:15,679 --> 00:43:18,056
- Thank you, Coach.
- No, he's going to practice.
645
00:43:20,726 --> 00:43:23,526
- Okay. Well, you better go change then.
- I'm getting ready to change.
646
00:43:24,146 --> 00:43:26,315
Uh-huh. Okay.
647
00:43:26,899 --> 00:43:28,399
It's really nice to finally meet you, sir.
648
00:43:28,400 --> 00:43:29,776
You too.
649
00:43:30,485 --> 00:43:32,361
You know,
I almost wore that exact same thing today.
650
00:43:32,362 --> 00:43:35,323
Funny guy. Funny guy.
651
00:43:35,324 --> 00:43:37,658
- Hey, you like American candy?
- Who doesn't?
652
00:43:37,659 --> 00:43:39,327
Yeah. Come on. It's got that bad sugar.
653
00:43:39,328 --> 00:43:43,206
- Yeah. High-fructose corn syrup.
- That's too many words. I say "bad sugar."
654
00:44:10,025 --> 00:44:13,778
At the beginning, Rupert bought me
so many tulips for so long,
655
00:44:13,779 --> 00:44:16,364
- his florist was able to buy a castle.
- What?
656
00:44:16,365 --> 00:44:19,326
I mean, it was in Scunthorpe, but still.
A castle.
657
00:44:20,787 --> 00:44:23,246
- Well, I'm taking Jack out tonight.
- Mmm.
658
00:44:23,247 --> 00:44:25,748
And if she tries to pay,
then I will give her...
659
00:44:25,749 --> 00:44:27,125
You'll give her what?
660
00:44:27,793 --> 00:44:28,877
Just the tip?
661
00:44:32,005 --> 00:44:34,006
- Hello, everyone.
- Hello, Leslie.
662
00:44:34,007 --> 00:44:35,925
May I present...
663
00:44:35,926 --> 00:44:38,010
Mr. Obisanya. Ah.
664
00:44:38,011 --> 00:44:40,888
Rebecca Welton.
Lovely to finally meet you.
665
00:44:40,889 --> 00:44:43,684
Likewise.
Samuel has told me so much about you.
666
00:44:44,810 --> 00:44:45,727
Has he?
667
00:44:45,728 --> 00:44:48,437
Yes. He... He has.
668
00:44:48,438 --> 00:44:49,857
Cool.
669
00:44:56,947 --> 00:44:58,990
Oh, yeah! Come on, you Greyhounds!
670
00:44:58,991 --> 00:45:00,950
- Whoo!
- Let's go Richmond!
671
00:45:00,951 --> 00:45:02,910
I'm Keeley, by the way. Hi.
672
00:45:02,911 --> 00:45:05,496
Hey. Let's... Let's go, Greyhounds.
673
00:45:05,497 --> 00:45:07,291
Come on.
674
00:45:09,835 --> 00:45:12,837
- Bumber! Bumber! Shot!
- Push, man!
675
00:45:12,838 --> 00:45:14,631
Bumber! No.
676
00:45:15,591 --> 00:45:17,884
Richmond have been mired
in a run of poor form,
677
00:45:17,885 --> 00:45:23,389
and you have to applaud Ted Lasso's
efforts to try something new. But this...
678
00:45:23,390 --> 00:45:25,100
What's the word I'm looking for, Chris?
679
00:45:25,851 --> 00:45:28,853
"Sucks," Arlo. The word is "sucks."
680
00:45:28,854 --> 00:45:31,230
It's like they've never
played the sport before.
681
00:45:32,150 --> 00:45:34,318
Good grief,
they're tackling themselves now.
682
00:45:35,402 --> 00:45:37,528
With Richmond literally running
into each other,
683
00:45:37,529 --> 00:45:39,155
the Gunners mount a counterattack.
684
00:45:39,156 --> 00:45:42,658
Here's a through ball to Parslow.
Parslow over to Hamilton...
685
00:45:42,659 --> 00:45:44,259
And he's there!
686
00:45:44,494 --> 00:45:47,747
Hamilton has his hat trick,
and Arsenal leads 3-nil.
687
00:45:47,748 --> 00:45:49,499
Fuck!
688
00:45:56,298 --> 00:45:57,299
Okay.
689
00:45:58,425 --> 00:45:59,509
It's all right.
690
00:46:04,848 --> 00:46:07,892
It's over.
We're gonna get relegated again,
691
00:46:07,893 --> 00:46:10,937
and I'm gonna have to go back
to filling the sausages with cardboard.
692
00:46:10,938 --> 00:46:11,938
Patience, Mae.
693
00:46:11,939 --> 00:46:13,773
Just need to give it some time.
694
00:46:13,774 --> 00:46:16,984
Ask yourself,
what does this situation need?
695
00:46:17,904 --> 00:46:20,363
And at the half,
Arsenal have a three-goal lead,
696
00:46:20,364 --> 00:46:23,449
and Richmond have plenty to talk about.
697
00:46:23,450 --> 00:46:26,661
Yeah, with fun conversation
starters like, "Why are we so bad?"
698
00:46:26,662 --> 00:46:28,246
or "Should we just go home?"
699
00:46:31,166 --> 00:46:34,377
Jamie, you keep floating back, mate.
700
00:46:34,378 --> 00:46:35,670
You gotta stay up front.
701
00:46:35,671 --> 00:46:37,255
We need you to stretch the defense.
702
00:46:37,256 --> 00:46:39,924
We need you to score a fucking goal.
703
00:46:39,925 --> 00:46:41,926
But how can we
when we can't see anyone out there.
704
00:46:41,927 --> 00:46:44,720
There's no shame
in going back to the good old 4-4-2.
705
00:46:44,721 --> 00:46:46,514
Until we've had more time
to properly train.
706
00:46:46,515 --> 00:46:49,100
Make you look like a prick.
707
00:46:49,101 --> 00:46:51,436
For fuck's sake.
What's the matter with you anyway?
708
00:46:53,605 --> 00:46:55,231
Hey, fellas. Lis... Listen up here.
709
00:46:56,358 --> 00:46:59,528
Well, I remember back in the early days
of my coaching career,
710
00:47:00,320 --> 00:47:03,365
feeling compelled
to express my individuality.
711
00:47:03,991 --> 00:47:07,785
Since I was a straight fella
in Middle America working in sports
712
00:47:07,786 --> 00:47:10,705
and I was scared of tattoo needles,
713
00:47:10,706 --> 00:47:13,333
the only real option for me to do so
was through my facial hair.
714
00:47:14,209 --> 00:47:16,502
And, uh,
obviously I couldn't grow a beard.
715
00:47:16,503 --> 00:47:19,339
Otherwise, Coach and I here would,
uh, look like a ZZ Top cover band.
716
00:47:19,923 --> 00:47:22,258
- Would've been called "Sharp Dressed Men."
- Ooh, that's nice.
717
00:47:22,259 --> 00:47:24,051
God,
I hate what you've fucking done to me.
718
00:47:24,052 --> 00:47:27,805
Luckily, around that time there was
this quartet of stand-up comedians
719
00:47:27,806 --> 00:47:30,057
known as the Blue Collar Comedy Tour.
720
00:47:30,058 --> 00:47:34,478
And along with their observational humor,
fun banter and numerous catchphrases,
721
00:47:34,479 --> 00:47:37,399
they also possessed
the four most common types of facial hair.
722
00:47:38,358 --> 00:47:40,401
Now, Ron White, who was my favorite,
he was clean-shaven.
723
00:47:40,402 --> 00:47:41,819
That's one way to go.
724
00:47:41,820 --> 00:47:46,073
But then you had Larry the Cable Guy, and
he had himself a big old, bushy goatee.
725
00:47:46,074 --> 00:47:48,326
And Bill Engvall,
he also had a goatee actually.
726
00:47:48,327 --> 00:47:51,037
But it was, um, you know,
smaller and, uh, more manicured.
727
00:47:51,038 --> 00:47:52,455
Not touching the sides here.
728
00:47:52,456 --> 00:47:54,541
- Also known as a Vandyke.
- Thank you, Coach.
729
00:47:55,250 --> 00:47:58,128
And then you had Jeff Foxworthy of course,
who, uh, had a mustache.
730
00:47:58,712 --> 00:48:01,130
So, check it out.
I went ahead and rolled the dice
731
00:48:01,131 --> 00:48:04,717
and grew myself one of them big,
bushy Cable Guy goatees.
732
00:48:04,718 --> 00:48:06,385
And I thought I looked great.
733
00:48:06,386 --> 00:48:10,223
Until Coach Beard here took me aside,
734
00:48:10,224 --> 00:48:11,891
right as I was about
to walk down the aisle,
735
00:48:11,892 --> 00:48:14,310
and told me something I needed to hear.
Remember what you said to me?
736
00:48:14,311 --> 00:48:17,230
"Your goatee makes it look like
you ate out bigfoot's butthole."
737
00:48:17,231 --> 00:48:18,231
That's right.
738
00:48:18,232 --> 00:48:20,024
- AKA "ass-squatch."
- You're on fire.
739
00:48:20,025 --> 00:48:21,693
- Make it stop.
- No, no.
740
00:48:22,319 --> 00:48:25,447
Coach was right though.
Not a good look. Not on this face.
741
00:48:26,907 --> 00:48:29,993
So I shaved that puppy down right
into a Foxworthy, and I never looked back.
742
00:48:31,620 --> 00:48:32,745
Point is, a lot of times
743
00:48:32,746 --> 00:48:35,707
the right idea is just sitting behind
a couple of the wrong ones.
744
00:48:36,542 --> 00:48:38,876
- Yeah?
- Hmm.
745
00:48:38,877 --> 00:48:40,294
You got something you wanna say, Jamie?
746
00:48:40,295 --> 00:48:44,090
- Uh, I mean, yeah. But...
- Great. Let us have it.
747
00:48:44,091 --> 00:48:47,344
Well... I don't want people
to think I'm being a prick if I say it.
748
00:48:54,142 --> 00:48:55,351
Ah.
749
00:48:55,352 --> 00:48:57,354
Okay. Well, then.
750
00:48:58,647 --> 00:48:59,481
I ain't doing it wrong.
751
00:48:59,482 --> 00:49:01,190
- You're doing it wrong.
- Whoa!
752
00:49:02,359 --> 00:49:05,320
I mean... I mean... No, I mean,
I think we're all doing it wrong.
753
00:49:06,405 --> 00:49:07,822
If we want this to work,
754
00:49:07,823 --> 00:49:11,994
you gotta stop going to me
and start playing through me. You get me?
755
00:49:17,291 --> 00:49:19,375
Uh, look. Just look. Look.
756
00:49:19,376 --> 00:49:21,544
- Can I? Do you mind if I... Right.
- Yeah, of course.
757
00:49:21,545 --> 00:49:24,714
So look, I sh... I shouldn't be here.
I shouldn't be playing forward.
758
00:49:24,715 --> 00:49:26,967
I should be here, in the center.
759
00:49:32,264 --> 00:49:35,516
I should be here, right?
Let Dani go up front.
760
00:49:35,517 --> 00:49:37,226
Move Colin over there. Richard there.
761
00:49:37,227 --> 00:49:41,982
So, stop going to me, right?
And start going through me. All right?
762
00:49:42,941 --> 00:49:44,193
That's Total Football.
763
00:49:46,320 --> 00:49:47,570
How's that sound to y'all?
764
00:49:47,571 --> 00:49:50,114
That actually... actually works.
765
00:49:50,115 --> 00:49:54,493
And there it is. Número cuatro. Sacrifice.
766
00:49:54,494 --> 00:49:56,955
Putting aside personal glory
on behalf of the team.
767
00:49:57,497 --> 00:50:00,082
Ooh. I like that.
But that ain't number four.
768
00:50:00,083 --> 00:50:02,710
- Let's bring it in! Come on.
- Let's go for "four" on three.
769
00:50:02,711 --> 00:50:05,254
- One, two, three...
- Four!
770
00:50:05,255 --> 00:50:07,507
The Greyhounds still 3-nil down,
in this second half.
771
00:50:07,508 --> 00:50:09,759
They need something,
and they need it soon.
772
00:50:09,760 --> 00:50:14,847
Arsenal's cross, easy for Van Damme.
And Van Damme out to Jan Maas.
773
00:50:14,848 --> 00:50:16,349
Here we go.
774
00:50:16,350 --> 00:50:19,143
Here's Dixon. Infield to Tartt.
775
00:50:19,144 --> 00:50:21,729
Tartt to Obisanya. Over to Hughes.
776
00:50:21,730 --> 00:50:23,147
Tartt again.
777
00:50:23,148 --> 00:50:24,649
- To McAdoo in the midfield.
- Oh.
778
00:50:24,650 --> 00:50:26,609
- Ooh.
- Over to Rojas.
779
00:50:26,610 --> 00:50:28,694
Rojas drops it back to Tartt.
780
00:50:28,695 --> 00:50:30,905
Who sends a long ball down to Bumbercatch.
781
00:50:30,906 --> 00:50:33,366
- Huh?
- Bumbercatch to Goodman.
782
00:50:33,367 --> 00:50:34,575
- Goodman over to Tartt...
- Yeah.
783
00:50:34,576 --> 00:50:35,910
In the box.
784
00:50:35,911 --> 00:50:37,578
Old Tartt with the back heel.
785
00:50:37,579 --> 00:50:39,789
And Montlaur is there to hammer it in!
786
00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:44,877
That was bloody gorgeous!
787
00:50:44,878 --> 00:50:51,342
A majestic, sweeping symphony of a goal
with Tartt in the role of conductor.
788
00:50:51,343 --> 00:50:54,930
Hey! All right!
789
00:50:55,430 --> 00:50:58,475
- That's it right there.
- There we go. There we go!
790
00:50:58,976 --> 00:51:00,561
Whoo!
791
00:51:01,144 --> 00:51:03,062
Whoo!
792
00:51:03,063 --> 00:51:05,064
Arsenal prevails 3-1.
793
00:51:05,065 --> 00:51:09,528
But for the first time in weeks,
the Greyhounds are showing signs of life.
794
00:51:14,366 --> 00:51:15,701
Ted.
795
00:51:17,077 --> 00:51:18,536
It's going to work.
796
00:51:18,537 --> 00:51:20,705
- Great. What is?
- Total football.
797
00:51:20,706 --> 00:51:21,998
- Okay. Why?
- And I'll tell you why.
798
00:51:21,999 --> 00:51:23,125
The Lasso way.
799
00:51:23,792 --> 00:51:25,751
- You haven't switched tactics in a week.
- I haven't?
800
00:51:25,752 --> 00:51:28,212
- No. You've done this over three seasons.
- I have?
801
00:51:28,213 --> 00:51:31,924
Yes. By slowly but surely building
a club-wide culture of trust and support
802
00:51:31,925 --> 00:51:33,593
through thousands
of imperceptible moments,
803
00:51:33,594 --> 00:51:36,220
all leading to
their inevitable conclusion.
804
00:51:36,221 --> 00:51:38,097
- Total Football.
- Well, how about that.
805
00:51:38,098 --> 00:51:40,726
It's gonna work.
806
00:51:42,519 --> 00:51:44,399
Doesn't even matter what number four is.
807
00:51:48,775 --> 00:51:50,651
What a fucking dork.
808
00:51:50,652 --> 00:51:53,738
Yeah. But he's our dork.
809
00:51:55,741 --> 00:51:56,741
Hmm.
810
00:52:22,643 --> 00:52:24,685
Hey.
811
00:52:24,686 --> 00:52:25,853
- Hi.
- All right to sit?
812
00:52:25,854 --> 00:52:27,688
Oh, of course. Yeah, um, take a seat.
813
00:52:27,689 --> 00:52:28,773
Thank you.
814
00:52:28,774 --> 00:52:31,609
Wow. Uh, you look great.
Thank you for coming.
815
00:52:31,610 --> 00:52:33,861
- Thank you for coming?
- You know...
816
00:52:33,862 --> 00:52:35,446
Did you think
I was gonna stand you up?
817
00:52:35,447 --> 00:52:37,990
No, no, no. Um, do you want a drink?
Sorry, I ordered.
818
00:52:37,991 --> 00:52:40,076
- No, that's fine.
- Just got nervous. Um...
819
00:52:40,077 --> 00:52:43,329
Please. Here we are, and there you go.
820
00:52:43,330 --> 00:52:47,500
Best table in the house.
As requested.
821
00:52:50,712 --> 00:52:54,341
{\an8}You little love bomber.
822
00:52:58,679 --> 00:53:01,013
I know it's not the outcome you wanted,
823
00:53:01,014 --> 00:53:03,976
but I'm very proud of the way
you and your team played today.
824
00:53:04,852 --> 00:53:05,893
Thanks, Dad.
825
00:53:05,894 --> 00:53:07,895
Ah. And I met Rebecca.
826
00:53:07,896 --> 00:53:11,774
- Oh, no. Did you make things weird?
- Yes.
827
00:53:19,950 --> 00:53:22,953
- Do you want to go and see the restaurant?
- I would love to.
828
00:53:29,251 --> 00:53:31,002
I don't know, Dad, I wish...
829
00:53:31,003 --> 00:53:33,379
I wish you could've seen it
when it was done up. It was perfect.
830
00:53:33,380 --> 00:53:34,547
This looks nice.
831
00:53:34,548 --> 00:53:37,259
- Daddy, it's not the same.
- It isn't so bad.
832
00:53:47,853 --> 00:53:49,146
Yo, look who's here.
833
00:53:49,730 --> 00:53:51,480
- Oh!
- Hey.
834
00:53:51,481 --> 00:53:53,774
Ah, the surprise is ruined.
835
00:53:53,775 --> 00:53:55,151
What are you guys doing here?
836
00:53:55,152 --> 00:53:59,322
Well, we all just asked ourselves,
"What does this situation need?"
837
00:53:59,323 --> 00:54:01,283
And we thought your situation needed us.
838
00:54:01,867 --> 00:54:04,160
Yeah, got my cousin to fix
your window this morning.
839
00:54:04,161 --> 00:54:06,454
Didn't get a discount though,
'cause he's a prick.
840
00:54:07,748 --> 00:54:10,458
And I brought some cases of wine
from my personal cellar.
841
00:54:10,459 --> 00:54:12,961
Not the best stuff obviously,
but still very, very good.
842
00:54:13,462 --> 00:54:15,505
And Bumbercatch
is trying to fix your sign.
843
00:54:15,506 --> 00:54:18,508
Neon signs are just a bunch
of illuminated, gas-discharge tubes.
844
00:54:18,509 --> 00:54:20,801
So I thought I'd give it a shot.
Screwdriver.
845
00:54:20,802 --> 00:54:25,598
Guys, this is incredible.
H-Honestly.
846
00:54:25,599 --> 00:54:27,141
Thank you all so very much.
847
00:54:27,142 --> 00:54:28,810
- Aw, we got you, man.
- No worries.
848
00:54:29,478 --> 00:54:31,270
- Great work, Van Damme.
- Simi.
849
00:54:31,271 --> 00:54:32,356
Sam.
850
00:54:33,982 --> 00:54:35,108
Oh, my God.
851
00:54:35,734 --> 00:54:38,861
- Was this your idea?
- No, they called me.
852
00:54:38,862 --> 00:54:40,446
- It's amazing, right?
- It's... It's...
853
00:54:40,447 --> 00:54:42,990
Oh! Uh, there's somebody
I'd love for you to meet.
854
00:54:42,991 --> 00:54:45,535
- Okay.
- Simi, this is my father.
855
00:54:45,536 --> 00:54:49,956
So very nice to meet you, Simi.
Sam has told me so much about you.
856
00:54:49,957 --> 00:54:52,458
- Hmm. Has he?
- Yes, he has.
857
00:54:54,086 --> 00:54:56,212
Well,
it's lovely to meet you too, Mr. Obisanya.
858
00:54:56,213 --> 00:55:00,384
No, no, no, no, no. My father
was Mr. Obisanya. Call me Ola.
859
00:55:00,968 --> 00:55:02,760
Whoo!
860
00:55:11,937 --> 00:55:14,648
Oh. Uh, don't worry.
I'll order the new mirrors on Monday.
861
00:55:17,484 --> 00:55:19,611
No. No. Let's keep them.
862
00:55:20,237 --> 00:55:23,614
I think they serve as a good reminder that
everything doesn't have to be perfect.
863
00:55:23,615 --> 00:55:27,076
And if the food is good,
who cares about the mirrors?
864
00:55:27,077 --> 00:55:28,452
Exactly.
865
00:55:28,453 --> 00:55:30,162
Speaking of, who's hungry?
866
00:55:30,163 --> 00:55:31,081
Yes!
867
00:55:31,082 --> 00:55:34,000
Good. So I will cook you all dinner.
868
00:55:34,001 --> 00:55:36,086
Sam, Simi, follow me.
869
00:55:37,087 --> 00:55:38,167
Yes, Chef!
870
00:56:01,820 --> 00:56:02,863
Apps are up.
871
00:56:06,575 --> 00:56:08,935
Come on, let me help you, child.
70545
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