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1
00:00:37,279 --> 00:00:39,946
Ah, the office party.
2
00:00:40,099 --> 00:00:42,099
Raw broccoli and sheet cake.
3
00:00:42,268 --> 00:00:45,210
I like when the universe
gives me easy choices.
4
00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:48,772
Thank you for coming.
If you haven't already,
5
00:00:48,791 --> 00:00:51,291
please don't forget
to Venmo four dollars to James
6
00:00:51,368 --> 00:00:52,609
for the broccoli and sheet cake.
7
00:00:52,628 --> 00:00:54,668
And I want to thank Paula
from HR for saving us
8
00:00:54,704 --> 00:00:56,258
a little money
by squeeze-farting
9
00:00:56,282 --> 00:00:59,299
the last three bottles of ranch
dressing onto a paper plate.
10
00:00:59,451 --> 00:01:02,377
Now, to the man of the hour:
Moses Beauford.
11
00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:04,045
Moses has been
our night watchman
12
00:01:04,065 --> 00:01:05,672
for the last 40 years.
13
00:01:07,993 --> 00:01:09,476
Paula, I think we're good.
14
00:01:09,628 --> 00:01:11,052
Today, he is retiring.
15
00:01:11,146 --> 00:01:14,965
So, please meet and say goodbye
to Moses Beauford.
16
00:01:16,560 --> 00:01:19,745
Now, I've looked through
all y'all desks.
17
00:01:19,896 --> 00:01:21,497
Where's Dave Lapoff?
18
00:01:23,567 --> 00:01:24,808
My man.
19
00:01:24,901 --> 00:01:26,476
Of course,
with Moses' departure,
20
00:01:26,570 --> 00:01:29,162
we'll need to begin our search
for a new night watchman.
21
00:01:29,315 --> 00:01:31,406
And what does the job entail?
22
00:01:31,500 --> 00:01:32,907
- Sitting.
- And?
23
00:01:33,001 --> 00:01:34,093
Watching.
24
00:01:34,286 --> 00:01:36,411
Interesting, but I don't know.
25
00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:38,488
Hey, what was in Dave's
desk anyway?
26
00:01:39,934 --> 00:01:40,991
I'll do it.
27
00:01:44,087 --> 00:01:46,163
You enjoying your walk there,
Brian?
28
00:01:46,181 --> 00:01:48,089
Good boy, good boy.
29
00:01:48,183 --> 00:01:50,334
What? I'm walking you,
you're not walking me.
30
00:01:50,502 --> 00:01:52,836
I'm not the one wearing
a leash, my friend.
31
00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:59,767
Lot of information on the base
of the pole today.
32
00:01:59,845 --> 00:02:02,529
That rottweiler up the street
has a UTI.
33
00:02:02,681 --> 00:02:03,956
Oh, Luna's pregnant!
34
00:02:04,183 --> 00:02:06,516
Oh, good for her,
I know she's been trying.
35
00:02:06,518 --> 00:02:09,461
Brian, this pole is AT&T,
not AT&Pee.
36
00:02:10,947 --> 00:02:15,692
"This pole is AT&T, not AT&Pee.
Potential tweet."
37
00:02:15,785 --> 00:02:17,043
Hey, check it out:
38
00:02:17,212 --> 00:02:20,364
a flyer for a missing dog
with a thousand dollar reward.
39
00:02:20,457 --> 00:02:21,698
All right, so?
40
00:02:21,791 --> 00:02:24,476
Well, it's just... this dog
kind of looks like me.
41
00:02:26,538 --> 00:02:29,297
Boy, imagine you paint
a couple spots on my face,
42
00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:31,966
return me to the owner and
walk off with a thousand bucks.
43
00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:34,987
Wait. That might actually work.
44
00:02:35,156 --> 00:02:36,691
Oh, because then you're
just going to live
45
00:02:36,715 --> 00:02:39,049
with the missing dog's owner
for the rest of your life?
46
00:02:39,067 --> 00:02:40,717
Come on, use your head, Brian.
47
00:02:40,736 --> 00:02:43,056
I wouldn't live with the missing
dog's owner, Stewie.
48
00:02:43,164 --> 00:02:45,313
I'd sneak out while
they're asleep and come home.
49
00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:47,166
Then we could split
the money 50-50.
50
00:02:47,317 --> 00:02:50,410
You know, you may be on to
something here, Brian.
51
00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:51,728
Damn right I am.
52
00:02:53,323 --> 00:02:55,490
Ooh, some poor bastard's
got a drinking problem.
53
00:02:55,584 --> 00:02:56,584
That's your pee.
54
00:02:56,660 --> 00:02:58,735
Some cool guy
knows how to party.
55
00:03:02,999 --> 00:03:04,828
Hey, thanks for showing me
around, Moses.
56
00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:06,076
No problem, Peter.
57
00:03:06,094 --> 00:03:07,260
First thing's first:
58
00:03:07,413 --> 00:03:09,671
being a night watchman
is about integrity,
59
00:03:09,765 --> 00:03:12,173
dedication and muttering things
you wish you'd said
60
00:03:12,193 --> 00:03:14,342
to your wife during a fight
earlier that day.
61
00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:17,103
Who buys a quart of mint chip
ice cream? You buy a pint.
62
00:03:17,198 --> 00:03:19,773
Mutter, Peter. We mutter.
63
00:03:19,925 --> 00:03:21,591
Sorry, this is all so new.
64
00:03:21,610 --> 00:03:22,684
Hey, what's that?
65
00:03:23,186 --> 00:03:26,446
Oh, every night watchman
has a six-inch portable TV
66
00:03:26,598 --> 00:03:28,158
broadcasting
a middle-of-the-night,
67
00:03:28,191 --> 00:03:30,542
sparsely attended
Oakland A's game.
68
00:03:30,694 --> 00:03:32,711
Welcome back to A's baseball:
69
00:03:32,938 --> 00:03:35,547
"The biggest 'who cares'
of professional sports."
70
00:03:35,699 --> 00:03:36,939
Bottom of the fourth now, Tim.
71
00:03:37,109 --> 00:03:39,200
Which Oakland A is batting next?
72
00:03:39,278 --> 00:03:41,795
I've said it before and I'll
say it again, Greg...
73
00:03:41,947 --> 00:03:43,113
who cares.
74
00:03:43,131 --> 00:03:45,782
Oh, a couple more things, Peter.
75
00:03:45,875 --> 00:03:47,019
And these are very important.
76
00:03:47,043 --> 00:03:50,062
First, these are the giant vats
77
00:03:50,213 --> 00:03:51,955
that hold all of
the brewery's beer.
78
00:03:51,957 --> 00:03:54,233
You must protect them
at all costs.
79
00:03:54,460 --> 00:03:55,567
Whoa.
80
00:03:55,794 --> 00:03:59,312
Yep, I spent many nights
fantasizing about throwing
81
00:03:59,465 --> 00:04:01,573
the world's biggest
keg party in here.
82
00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:04,317
So, Peter, you ready to
become a night watchman?
83
00:04:04,470 --> 00:04:07,804
Does Dave Lapoff
like giant Latina butts?
84
00:04:07,823 --> 00:04:09,248
You know he do!
85
00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:16,480
So I said, Denise,
it's your wedding,
86
00:04:16,498 --> 00:04:18,906
if you want to have it outdoors,
have it outdoors.
87
00:04:18,926 --> 00:04:21,006
Did I miss the memo where
the mother of the groom
88
00:04:21,077 --> 00:04:22,986
is now in charge of the wedding?
89
00:04:23,005 --> 00:04:24,154
Okay, now just sit tight
for a minute,
90
00:04:24,156 --> 00:04:26,181
I got to go check on Doris.
91
00:04:29,252 --> 00:04:30,677
That Doris is a riot.
92
00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:34,014
81, she still gets her hair
permed every month.
93
00:04:34,108 --> 00:04:35,832
Do you know she walks here?
94
00:04:35,925 --> 00:04:39,611
And she plays golf twice a week
with her sister, who's 90.
95
00:04:39,763 --> 00:04:41,613
Sharp as a tack, still drives.
96
00:04:41,765 --> 00:04:43,006
Stewie, are we almost done here?
97
00:04:43,025 --> 00:04:44,094
I just needed a quick touch-up
98
00:04:44,118 --> 00:04:45,767
so I can look
like that missing dog.
99
00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:47,119
We are completely done.
100
00:04:47,346 --> 00:04:49,529
Brian, say hello to $1,000.
101
00:04:49,681 --> 00:04:52,349
Wow, Stewie, this is
actually pretty good.
102
00:04:52,367 --> 00:04:54,609
At cosmetology school,
I was the only one
103
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:56,036
who came back after lunch.
104
00:04:57,631 --> 00:05:01,074
We spell "school" with a "U"
for legal reasons.
105
00:05:04,287 --> 00:05:06,841
And a big hello to all
our night watchman viewers
106
00:05:06,865 --> 00:05:08,381
on the East Coast.
107
00:05:08,534 --> 00:05:11,125
Time for you guys to unwrap
that six-hour sandwich
108
00:05:11,145 --> 00:05:13,294
and listen to me
call foul balls.
109
00:05:13,388 --> 00:05:16,039
Fouled off. Oh and one.
110
00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:19,709
Bad guys.
111
00:05:21,396 --> 00:05:24,381
This is it, Peter.
Remember your training.
112
00:05:26,401 --> 00:05:28,368
Ah! Take whatever you want!
113
00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:30,904
Good evening, my good sir.
114
00:05:31,073 --> 00:05:32,980
We are an all-principal
drinking group
115
00:05:33,075 --> 00:05:35,483
called "Principals with Vices."
116
00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:36,651
"Vice Principals"?
117
00:05:36,745 --> 00:05:38,170
Ah, so you got it!
118
00:05:38,397 --> 00:05:40,188
Leonard said no one
would get it.
119
00:05:40,190 --> 00:05:40,839
You hear that, Leonard?
120
00:05:40,916 --> 00:05:42,082
Yeah, I heard it.
121
00:05:42,176 --> 00:05:46,069
Leonard's the principal
of an elementary school,
122
00:05:46,088 --> 00:05:48,738
which in our world
makes him my "beyotch."
123
00:05:48,832 --> 00:05:50,924
Anyway, like most principals,
124
00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:52,425
we stole the driver's ed car
125
00:05:52,578 --> 00:05:54,480
and have been cruising around
town asking women
126
00:05:54,504 --> 00:05:56,337
if we can have
their attention, please.
127
00:05:56,464 --> 00:05:57,892
They have not given it.
128
00:05:57,916 --> 00:05:59,858
No, they have not,
other Leonard.
129
00:06:00,085 --> 00:06:02,176
Two-thirds of all principals
are named Leonard.
130
00:06:02,196 --> 00:06:04,437
So now it's 2:00 a.m.,
the bars are closed,
131
00:06:04,590 --> 00:06:06,773
and we are all still
quite divorced.
132
00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:09,016
Can you provide us
with more alcohol?
133
00:06:09,185 --> 00:06:11,453
Uh, I don't know,
let me check the rules.
134
00:06:14,858 --> 00:06:15,707
Oh.
135
00:06:15,859 --> 00:06:17,542
Aw.
136
00:06:17,694 --> 00:06:19,769
I don't know why they
wrote the card that way.
137
00:06:19,863 --> 00:06:21,696
Are you sure you
can't let us in?
138
00:06:21,790 --> 00:06:23,882
I'll show you a picture
of a naked student.
139
00:06:24,033 --> 00:06:25,033
That's my son!
140
00:06:25,085 --> 00:06:26,793
Oh, well, I have others.
141
00:06:26,945 --> 00:06:28,628
No, that's him again.
142
00:06:28,780 --> 00:06:30,630
Nope, well, that's also him.
143
00:06:30,782 --> 00:06:32,039
Okay, these are all Chris.
144
00:06:32,059 --> 00:06:35,118
How about instead we give you
$20 per beer?
145
00:06:35,211 --> 00:06:36,377
Whoa, hang on.
146
00:06:36,471 --> 00:06:38,138
Are you saying
you'll give me cash
147
00:06:38,290 --> 00:06:40,624
just to let you come in here
and drink after hours?
148
00:06:40,717 --> 00:06:41,716
You betcha.
149
00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:43,551
Holy crap, I'm gonna be rich.
150
00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:45,295
Come on in!
151
00:06:47,132 --> 00:06:49,277
That was the night a secret
after-hours bar
152
00:06:49,301 --> 00:06:51,101
opened up in the back
of the brewery.
153
00:06:51,227 --> 00:06:52,636
I'm Chris Griffin.
154
00:06:52,729 --> 00:06:55,229
Naked photos were taken
of me without my consent,
155
00:06:55,249 --> 00:06:56,665
and my dad doesn't care.
156
00:07:04,666 --> 00:07:06,166
Place is packed, Peter.
157
00:07:06,318 --> 00:07:07,386
Word's really gotten around
158
00:07:07,410 --> 00:07:09,221
about your after-hours
beer operation.
159
00:07:09,245 --> 00:07:10,320
Thanks, Quagmire.
160
00:07:10,338 --> 00:07:11,596
It's only the second night,
161
00:07:11,748 --> 00:07:12,908
and I'm already raking it in.
162
00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:14,491
Peter, what if you get caught?
163
00:07:14,509 --> 00:07:17,269
Impossible. I know where all
the security cameras are,
164
00:07:17,496 --> 00:07:19,771
and we got a massive supply
of beer.
165
00:07:19,848 --> 00:07:22,348
The only problem is running
this place all by myself.
166
00:07:22,501 --> 00:07:23,903
You know, we could
probably help out.
167
00:07:23,927 --> 00:07:25,502
Really? That'll be great.
168
00:07:25,504 --> 00:07:28,166
- I could even cut you in
on the action.
- I'm down.
169
00:07:28,190 --> 00:07:30,431
Look, I'm a cop and this
is technically illegal,
170
00:07:30,451 --> 00:07:32,600
but I suppose I could
turn a blind eye
171
00:07:32,694 --> 00:07:35,603
if I were to be put in charge
of the music.
172
00:07:35,697 --> 00:07:37,249
Done. What kind of music
you thinking?
173
00:07:37,273 --> 00:07:40,850
Songs that
yell the name of places.
174
00:07:40,869 --> 00:07:42,944
You want to see
a guy lose his mind?
175
00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:45,355
Put on Huey Lewis'
"Heart of Rock And Roll."
176
00:07:45,373 --> 00:07:47,174
That little baby wastes no time.
177
00:07:47,283 --> 00:07:48,950
It's like,
"Oh, let's just hit play
178
00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:50,026
on this fun little song."
179
00:07:50,045 --> 00:07:51,636
"New York! New York!"
180
00:07:51,788 --> 00:07:52,954
It's sick.
181
00:07:53,031 --> 00:07:54,191
"Free Fallin'" is a good one.
182
00:07:54,290 --> 00:07:55,699
That song names a lot of places.
183
00:07:55,717 --> 00:07:58,310
Oh, sure. If your definition
of "a lot" is three.
184
00:07:58,461 --> 00:08:01,221
Reseda, Ventura Boulevard,
Mulholland Drive.
185
00:08:01,315 --> 00:08:04,316
Yeah, not exactly moving
this guy's needle.
186
00:08:04,467 --> 00:08:05,817
Isn't there four in that song?
187
00:08:05,969 --> 00:08:07,652
"America" is in the second line.
188
00:08:07,687 --> 00:08:08,820
Doesn't count. Too general.
189
00:08:09,047 --> 00:08:11,116
But the chorus in "Kokomo"
where The Beach Boys
190
00:08:11,140 --> 00:08:13,066
list all the islands
near Kokomo?
191
00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:15,494
The one where they mention
the singular Bahama?
192
00:08:15,645 --> 00:08:19,664
You know, not all the Bahamas,
just the one Bahama?
193
00:08:19,891 --> 00:08:22,817
Oh, baby. Huge needle mover.
194
00:08:29,826 --> 00:08:33,419
Wow, who knew running a
speakeasy would be so lucrative?
195
00:08:33,514 --> 00:08:35,905
Yeah, but you guys, now that
we're secretly raking in
196
00:08:35,924 --> 00:08:37,741
all this cash,
let's promise each other
197
00:08:37,743 --> 00:08:40,334
we're not gonna blow it
on mistresses and drug habits.
198
00:08:40,470 --> 00:08:41,244
Agreed.
199
00:08:41,337 --> 00:08:43,337
Hey, so quick update...
200
00:08:43,431 --> 00:08:46,082
Okay, the glory hole kissing
booth is up and running.
201
00:08:46,175 --> 00:08:48,295
I think that thing's gonna be
a big money-maker!
202
00:08:48,420 --> 00:08:50,770
Everything in this place
is a big money-maker.
203
00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:52,805
I know, it's all
going perfectly.
204
00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:54,418
Well, except Keith
from accounting
205
00:08:54,442 --> 00:08:56,322
keeps talking about
the guitar in his office,
206
00:08:56,352 --> 00:08:58,664
hoping somebody'll ask him to...
Uhp, he went and got it.
207
00:08:58,688 --> 00:09:02,098
Yeah, I kind of mess around
a little bit...
208
00:09:02,117 --> 00:09:04,037
You know, it's not even
so much his singing,
209
00:09:04,102 --> 00:09:06,711
it's that every song
has a tedious backstory.
210
00:09:08,531 --> 00:09:10,197
I'll be honest,
this next one I wrote
211
00:09:10,292 --> 00:09:13,109
during a pretty dark period
in my life
212
00:09:13,128 --> 00:09:14,288
when I was out in the desert,
213
00:09:14,446 --> 00:09:16,871
staring up at that
star-filled sky.
214
00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:18,706
This one's called
"Big Blue Marble."
215
00:09:19,801 --> 00:09:21,186
See, the thing about
the desert is...
216
00:09:21,210 --> 00:09:24,788
Ugh, God, go home and be
with your newborn, Keith.
217
00:09:27,568 --> 00:09:30,627
All right, Brian, now remember:
I'm the one who found you,
218
00:09:30,645 --> 00:09:32,290
and I'm taking you
back to your family.
219
00:09:32,314 --> 00:09:33,554
Why are you dressed like that?
220
00:09:33,574 --> 00:09:35,056
People aren't just
going to give a baby
221
00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:36,800
a thousand dollars, Brian.
222
00:09:36,818 --> 00:09:38,410
So, I've created a character.
223
00:09:38,561 --> 00:09:41,154
I'm a construction worker
from "around the way"
224
00:09:41,230 --> 00:09:43,123
named Bobby Beccorino.
225
00:09:45,735 --> 00:09:46,976
Yeah, what's up, chief?
226
00:09:46,995 --> 00:09:48,645
Bobby Beccorino
from around the way.
227
00:09:48,663 --> 00:09:51,648
How's it hangin'? Me? Probably
stuck to my frickin' thigh
228
00:09:51,741 --> 00:09:54,426
right now 'cause I sweat
so much during construction,
229
00:09:54,595 --> 00:09:55,409
know what I'm sayin'?
230
00:09:55,578 --> 00:09:57,170
I'm sorry. Who are you?
231
00:09:57,339 --> 00:09:59,764
Oh, I'm a whole plate
of pancakes, pal.
232
00:09:59,991 --> 00:10:01,174
Name's Bobby Beccorino.
233
00:10:01,268 --> 00:10:02,583
You know, from around the way?
234
00:10:04,754 --> 00:10:06,271
Oh, my God! Rover!
235
00:10:06,422 --> 00:10:08,142
Yeah, he was wanderin'
around the site
236
00:10:08,166 --> 00:10:10,016
where I do all
my construction stuff.
237
00:10:10,168 --> 00:10:11,996
Maybe you've seen it,
it's around the way.
238
00:10:12,020 --> 00:10:13,928
I haven't heard of
a construction site nearby.
239
00:10:14,022 --> 00:10:15,113
Oh, yeah. It's there.
240
00:10:15,340 --> 00:10:17,242
Just hop in your car,
drive around the road,
241
00:10:17,266 --> 00:10:19,266
and when you get to the way?
Go around it.
242
00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:20,452
Okay, well, thanks for...
243
00:10:20,603 --> 00:10:23,179
Yeah, ol' Bobby Beccorino
was layin' drywall
244
00:10:23,198 --> 00:10:25,106
with the boys when
he spotted this idiot
245
00:10:25,183 --> 00:10:27,274
takin' a big dump
near my bandsaw.
246
00:10:27,369 --> 00:10:31,037
Okay, sorry, but...
don't you hang drywall?
247
00:10:31,189 --> 00:10:32,446
Listen up, you little cranberry.
248
00:10:32,466 --> 00:10:34,115
Bobby Beccorino's
been layin' drywall
249
00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:35,525
since you were in Pampers!
250
00:10:35,543 --> 00:10:38,511
Okay! I'm sorry!
Here's your money.
251
00:10:45,036 --> 00:10:46,478
Nice place you got here...
252
00:10:46,629 --> 00:10:48,388
Whoa.
253
00:10:48,540 --> 00:10:49,814
What the hell?
254
00:10:49,966 --> 00:10:51,316
So, Rover Four,
255
00:10:51,393 --> 00:10:54,486
you thought you could escape
from Chase's TikTok house?
256
00:10:54,713 --> 00:10:56,729
Rover Four? TikTok house?
257
00:10:56,882 --> 00:10:59,306
This weekend I'll use you
for my most dangerous
258
00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:01,401
and humiliating viral stunt yet.
259
00:11:01,569 --> 00:11:04,721
And your fate will be that
of Rovers One through Three.
260
00:11:04,890 --> 00:11:06,550
Then, it'll be time
to find Rover Five.
261
00:11:06,574 --> 00:11:08,908
Enjoy your last couple
of days alive.
262
00:11:09,060 --> 00:11:10,727
Last couple days alive?
263
00:11:10,745 --> 00:11:12,562
Wait, no, no. This is a mix-up.
264
00:11:12,655 --> 00:11:13,821
Oh, God.
265
00:11:13,915 --> 00:11:15,231
Coming here was a mistake.
266
00:11:15,250 --> 00:11:17,158
Like buying that German plunger.
267
00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:20,436
Ah, das gut! Yah! Yah! Yah!
268
00:11:20,438 --> 00:11:23,515
I am vurthless!
I am vurthless rubber boy!
269
00:11:23,666 --> 00:11:25,666
Punish me now!
270
00:11:30,339 --> 00:11:33,340
We got a problem!
We're out of beer!
271
00:11:33,418 --> 00:11:34,842
Crap. What are we gonna do?
272
00:11:34,861 --> 00:11:38,104
Why don't you just use the money
you made to buy more beer?
273
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:40,699
Hey, so quick update
about the money...
274
00:11:46,707 --> 00:11:48,522
Well, that's the last of 'em.
275
00:11:48,616 --> 00:11:51,559
I can't believe I used up
all the beer, you guys.
276
00:11:51,619 --> 00:11:52,877
I am in so much trouble.
277
00:11:53,104 --> 00:11:55,939
Well, well, well...
278
00:11:55,957 --> 00:11:57,106
Surprised to see me?
279
00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:58,441
We can't actually see you.
280
00:11:58,534 --> 00:12:00,012
Yeah, you're still
in the shadows.
281
00:12:00,036 --> 00:12:01,945
Damn it. Hold on.
282
00:12:01,963 --> 00:12:04,614
Well, well, well.
283
00:12:04,707 --> 00:12:06,632
Yeah, still not seeing you, bud.
284
00:12:06,727 --> 00:12:07,967
Maybe walk forward more?
285
00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:10,954
I did that, man.
H-How about now?
286
00:12:11,122 --> 00:12:12,956
Yeah, I think I can see you now.
287
00:12:13,049 --> 00:12:15,049
- Are your shoes black?
- Brown.
288
00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:16,568
Okay, yeah, I can't see you.
289
00:12:16,795 --> 00:12:19,295
Oh, for the love
of Luther Vandross!
290
00:12:19,314 --> 00:12:22,298
Peter, the truth is, every
night watchman steals beer.
291
00:12:22,317 --> 00:12:24,467
The key is only stealing
a single bottle a week
292
00:12:24,486 --> 00:12:25,802
over 30 years.
293
00:12:25,820 --> 00:12:28,187
Course, I'm man enough
to admit I ran out of beer
294
00:12:28,339 --> 00:12:30,156
from a party once
when I first started.
295
00:12:30,308 --> 00:12:33,734
My plan was to replace it
by robbing a beer truck.
296
00:12:33,828 --> 00:12:36,087
But I could never find
the right team to pull it off.
297
00:12:36,239 --> 00:12:38,923
You also didn't have Smash
Mouth's "Walkin' on the Sun."
298
00:12:39,075 --> 00:12:40,425
I'm sorry. Smash what now?
299
00:12:40,576 --> 00:12:43,169
Every successful heist
after 1998
300
00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:45,597
began with Smash Mouth's
"Walkin' on the Sun."
301
00:12:45,824 --> 00:12:49,917
Yours didn't have it.
Hence, unsuccessful heist.
302
00:12:50,011 --> 00:12:51,603
Well, that makes no sense.
303
00:12:55,333 --> 00:12:56,735
- I'm in.
- I'm in.
- I'm in.
304
00:12:56,759 --> 00:12:57,776
I'm in.
305
00:12:57,944 --> 00:13:00,169
Well, all right.
Maybe this crew could pull off
306
00:13:00,188 --> 00:13:02,113
the beer truck heist
I never could.
307
00:13:02,265 --> 00:13:05,133
Let's do it. Joe's got access
to a police helicopter.
308
00:13:05,209 --> 00:13:07,786
- And I know how to fly.
- I'll bring the snacks!
309
00:13:08,013 --> 00:13:09,770
That's the guy we never got.
310
00:13:09,790 --> 00:13:11,456
We never got the snack guy.
311
00:13:14,628 --> 00:13:16,777
Chris, have you seen Brian?
312
00:13:16,797 --> 00:13:18,797
"How are you today, Chris?"
313
00:13:18,948 --> 00:13:21,691
is a nice way to begin
a conversation.
314
00:13:21,784 --> 00:13:23,968
I'm sorry. It's just
that he and I had this plan
315
00:13:24,195 --> 00:13:25,786
to make him look
like a missing dog
316
00:13:25,806 --> 00:13:26,879
and collect reward money.
317
00:13:27,032 --> 00:13:28,117
But I can't find him anywhere
318
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:29,957
and his cell phone
is going to voice mail.
319
00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:31,621
Chris, you've got
to help me find Brian.
320
00:13:31,645 --> 00:13:35,555
Hang on, let me get out
my rude little boy translator.
321
00:13:35,723 --> 00:13:39,208
Oh, you said, "Will you please
help me find Brian?"
322
00:13:39,227 --> 00:13:41,820
Why, yes, that sounds
lovely, Stewie.
323
00:13:41,929 --> 00:13:45,548
Okay, Chris. Your agent
said you wanted more scenes.
324
00:13:45,567 --> 00:13:46,716
These are the scenes.
325
00:13:54,191 --> 00:13:56,817
Mint Milano? Mint Milano?
326
00:13:56,837 --> 00:13:59,320
I can't eat those without milk.
327
00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:01,322
The mother-lovin' Snack Guy.
328
00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:03,249
This is it, fellas.
Everyone ready?
329
00:14:03,401 --> 00:14:04,491
Wait...
330
00:14:04,736 --> 00:14:07,737
Now we're ready.
331
00:14:26,900 --> 00:14:27,940
What do I do now?
332
00:14:28,034 --> 00:14:29,534
We call the Weekapaug Brewery
333
00:14:29,685 --> 00:14:32,387
and redirect the truck
to our brewery.
334
00:14:32,447 --> 00:14:35,615
Then why the hell did I have to
be on the roof of the... Ah!
335
00:14:38,694 --> 00:14:39,694
Ah!
336
00:14:42,698 --> 00:14:44,048
Ah...!
337
00:14:47,888 --> 00:14:49,278
Way to go, Peter.
338
00:14:49,447 --> 00:14:53,282
This whole thing was a big
waste of time thanks to you.
339
00:14:53,301 --> 00:14:55,542
Hey, did anyone unstrap Joe?
340
00:15:00,141 --> 00:15:02,141
No. We did not.
341
00:15:06,131 --> 00:15:08,573
Wait, this is where you
dropped Brian off?
342
00:15:08,724 --> 00:15:11,150
- This is a TikTok house.
- How do you know that?
343
00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:14,287
Every room in the house
is glowing from ring lights.
344
00:15:18,660 --> 00:15:19,660
Can I help you?
345
00:15:19,753 --> 00:15:21,235
We're looking for our dog.
346
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:22,495
Dog?
347
00:15:22,738 --> 00:15:25,498
I think Chase brought a dog
to Dangerous Stunt Beach
348
00:15:25,650 --> 00:15:26,816
to do a dangerous stunt.
349
00:15:26,834 --> 00:15:28,834
Oh, no. We got to help him.
350
00:15:28,987 --> 00:15:30,077
Did you hear that, Stewie?
351
00:15:30,096 --> 00:15:32,913
Already on your phone?
352
00:15:32,933 --> 00:15:34,265
The world's up here, Stewie.
353
00:15:34,492 --> 00:15:38,177
Your mind's a prison,
and only you hold the key.
354
00:15:42,016 --> 00:15:45,168
All right, Chris. We don't
have much time to find Brian.
355
00:15:45,170 --> 00:15:47,779
- Maybe we split...
- Oh, my God. Stewie, look!
356
00:15:52,101 --> 00:15:54,527
Don't worry, Brian!
We're here to save you!
357
00:15:54,621 --> 00:15:56,287
Stewie! Chris! Help!
358
00:15:56,439 --> 00:15:58,342
The guy's right over there
with the remote!
359
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:02,018
We got you, buddy!
360
00:16:02,111 --> 00:16:03,497
All right, Chris.
Here's the plan:
361
00:16:03,521 --> 00:16:05,349
When I give you the signal,
grab the remote,
362
00:16:05,373 --> 00:16:06,631
take control of the drone,
363
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:09,375
and I'll be here to safely
guide Brian ashore. Got it?
364
00:16:09,527 --> 00:16:11,302
Got it. Wait. What's the signal?
365
00:16:11,379 --> 00:16:12,528
What?
366
00:16:12,621 --> 00:16:14,455
The signal. You said
you'd give me a signal.
367
00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:15,531
What is it?
368
00:16:15,624 --> 00:16:16,457
You'll know the signal
when you see it.
369
00:16:16,551 --> 00:16:17,867
Now go!
370
00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:20,720
Yeah, look. I hate to be
getting into the weeds here,
371
00:16:20,814 --> 00:16:22,463
but I'm just saying
if I was aware
372
00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:23,797
of the signal going in,
I might...
373
00:16:23,817 --> 00:16:25,057
Chris! I don't understand
374
00:16:25,134 --> 00:16:27,054
why you're making this
into such an issue.
375
00:16:27,136 --> 00:16:28,216
I mean, it's-it's a signal!
376
00:16:28,304 --> 00:16:30,730
It-It'll be
an unmistakable signal.
377
00:16:30,882 --> 00:16:34,826
Okay, see, even you classifying
the signal as "unmistakable"
378
00:16:34,977 --> 00:16:37,720
presumes there to be various
categories of signals,
379
00:16:37,739 --> 00:16:40,072
of which I am not
at all aware, mind you...
380
00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:41,741
Hey! Shut up and get me down!
381
00:16:41,835 --> 00:16:43,126
Just go.
382
00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:46,912
Everybody, look! Up in the sky!
383
00:16:47,065 --> 00:16:49,048
It's a bird!
It's a plane! It's...
384
00:16:50,159 --> 00:16:52,251
"The Lubed-Up Butt Mutt."
385
00:16:57,258 --> 00:17:00,243
Butt Mutt! Butt Mutt! Butt Mutt!
386
00:17:00,336 --> 00:17:03,187
Oh, my God.
I'm sponsored content.
387
00:17:03,414 --> 00:17:05,672
Stewie! Give Chris the signal!
388
00:17:08,695 --> 00:17:10,086
What's wrong with you people?
389
00:17:10,104 --> 00:17:12,864
I am a hardworking,
accomplished author!
390
00:17:12,940 --> 00:17:14,181
Brian...
391
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:15,808
I am an accomplished author!
392
00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:16,995
Brian...
393
00:17:17,019 --> 00:17:19,111
- I am an author!
- Brian...
394
00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:22,040
I mostly use my computer
for Bella Thorne's OnlyFans.
395
00:17:22,267 --> 00:17:23,949
There you go. Proud of you, man.
396
00:17:24,102 --> 00:17:25,102
Hey, Chris!
397
00:17:26,362 --> 00:17:27,528
A thumbs-up?
398
00:17:27,622 --> 00:17:30,273
That's the signal
you couldn't tell me about?
399
00:17:30,366 --> 00:17:32,441
This is bush league, man.
400
00:17:33,461 --> 00:17:34,719
Ah!
401
00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:40,800
Ah!
402
00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:44,062
Ah! Ah!
403
00:17:49,794 --> 00:17:51,885
Ah!
404
00:17:51,979 --> 00:17:53,112
What the deuce?
405
00:18:14,243 --> 00:18:15,484
We're gonna crash!
406
00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:21,599
What the hell is this stuff?
407
00:18:21,750 --> 00:18:23,843
X-Y "Fire and Ice" Jelly.
408
00:18:23,995 --> 00:18:25,252
Ooh, 'cause it feels
really goo...
409
00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:26,604
Oh! Too hot! Too hot!
410
00:18:26,831 --> 00:18:27,899
Ooh, it feels really goo...
411
00:18:27,923 --> 00:18:29,440
Oh! Too hot! Too hot!
412
00:18:34,430 --> 00:18:37,189
That's Preston. He's waiting
for me in my office.
413
00:18:37,342 --> 00:18:39,222
Time to fess up and admit
I'm the reason
414
00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:40,952
the brewery's out of beer.
415
00:18:41,103 --> 00:18:42,194
Well, it's been fun.
416
00:18:42,347 --> 00:18:44,864
Peter, this is all our faults.
417
00:18:44,958 --> 00:18:46,958
Let us come with you
and share the blame.
418
00:18:47,185 --> 00:18:49,293
No, Cleveland.
For once in my life,
419
00:18:49,445 --> 00:18:51,045
I got to be a man
about something
420
00:18:51,189 --> 00:18:54,132
and take full
and total responsibility.
421
00:18:56,361 --> 00:18:58,136
Preston!
There's a Black guy outside
422
00:18:58,212 --> 00:18:59,528
and he stole all the beer.
423
00:18:59,697 --> 00:19:01,121
What are you talking
about, Griffin?
424
00:19:01,141 --> 00:19:03,790
The brewery has plenty of beer.
425
00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:04,791
How'd it go?
426
00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:06,869
Well, well, well...
427
00:19:06,888 --> 00:19:07,888
Moses?
428
00:19:07,963 --> 00:19:08,980
Surprised to see me?
429
00:19:09,207 --> 00:19:10,964
Yeah, again, we cannot see you.
430
00:19:10,984 --> 00:19:14,152
You're really bad at this whole
"emerging from darkness" thing.
431
00:19:14,303 --> 00:19:16,212
Oh, sweet Patti LaBelle.
432
00:19:16,230 --> 00:19:19,565
Peter, the brewery has beer
again because I put it there.
433
00:19:19,642 --> 00:19:22,385
Wait! Are you one of those
magical Black guys
434
00:19:22,478 --> 00:19:23,977
who helps white people
with their problems
435
00:19:23,997 --> 00:19:25,145
and then disappears?
436
00:19:25,165 --> 00:19:27,390
The kind Hollywood
had no problem making
437
00:19:27,408 --> 00:19:30,484
many movies about until
a shockingly recent time?
438
00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:33,579
No, Peter. I just used every
bottle of beer I stole
439
00:19:33,731 --> 00:19:36,007
over the last 30 years
to refill the vats.
440
00:19:36,234 --> 00:19:37,082
You did?
441
00:19:37,177 --> 00:19:38,901
I always thought
my retirement dream
442
00:19:38,994 --> 00:19:40,403
would be to move to Oakland.
443
00:19:40,421 --> 00:19:43,589
But man, there's a buttload
of homeless people there.
444
00:19:43,741 --> 00:19:46,184
But what do you expect given
the laissez-faire politics
445
00:19:46,335 --> 00:19:48,686
of a California Democrat
like Gavin Newsom?
446
00:19:48,837 --> 00:19:50,079
Hey, hey, buddy? Buddy?
447
00:19:50,172 --> 00:19:51,931
I only talk about
one politician,
448
00:19:52,007 --> 00:19:53,708
and that's Mayor McCheese.
449
00:19:53,710 --> 00:19:54,934
Oh, I'm sorry.
450
00:19:55,086 --> 00:19:56,861
So, I returned,
refilled the beer,
451
00:19:57,012 --> 00:19:58,938
and I'm taking my old job back.
452
00:19:59,090 --> 00:20:02,182
Wow. 30 years' worth
of beer in one night?
453
00:20:02,202 --> 00:20:03,684
That must have taken a while.
454
00:20:05,187 --> 00:20:06,429
You know, that works out
455
00:20:06,447 --> 00:20:10,099
to over 1,500 bottles
of beer on the wall.
456
00:20:10,117 --> 00:20:12,284
Which reminds me of a song.
457
00:20:12,378 --> 00:20:13,378
A-one, a-two...
458
00:20:13,529 --> 00:20:15,169
Damn it, Keith.
Go home to your wife.
459
00:20:15,306 --> 00:20:17,106
She's totally overwhelmed.
Go on!
460
00:20:22,630 --> 00:20:25,114
Well,
we learned a lot this week.
461
00:20:25,132 --> 00:20:27,207
But unfortunately,
we all then died
462
00:20:27,334 --> 00:20:28,801
of carbon monoxide poisoning.
463
00:20:28,895 --> 00:20:31,345
Probably because I took the
batteries out of the detector
464
00:20:31,397 --> 00:20:34,640
and put them in an old
Star Tours visor that lights up.
465
00:20:34,792 --> 00:20:36,234
Was it worth it? I don't know.
466
00:20:36,385 --> 00:20:37,718
It wasn't so great indoors,
467
00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:40,220
but it was pretty cool
to wear outside at night.
468
00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:41,722
Lot of head nods.
469
00:20:41,816 --> 00:20:44,800
No conversations, but people
are wicked timid after COVID.
470
00:20:44,969 --> 00:20:46,244
Joe's the one who found us.
471
00:20:46,395 --> 00:20:49,413
I think he grabbed some stuff
before he called it in.
472
00:20:50,566 --> 00:20:52,750
I'm gonna miss you, pal.
473
00:20:53,811 --> 00:20:56,312
- Nice. Star Tours?
- Yeah.
474
00:20:56,330 --> 00:20:57,458
- When did you...
- Hey, I'd love to chat,
475
00:20:57,482 --> 00:21:00,091
but I'm a little timid
after COVID.
476
00:21:00,115 --> 00:21:02,115
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