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1
00:00:50,425 --> 00:00:52,593
Welcome back to Celebrity Dance Factor.
2
00:00:53,178 --> 00:00:55,471
I'm Hutch Davidson
and we are live from Hollywood
3
00:00:55,513 --> 00:00:58,098
just moments away from crowning
our season champion.
4
00:00:58,475 --> 00:01:01,685
Now, we've just seen the last dances
from our first two finalists.
5
00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:03,979
Reality television star, Whitney Port.
6
00:01:08,943 --> 00:01:11,820
And Miami Heat basketball star,
Dwyane Wade.
7
00:01:18,161 --> 00:01:22,289
Which brings us to our last, but certainly
not least, finalist of the night.
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00:01:22,499 --> 00:01:26,126
Everyone's favorite tough love trainer from
the weight-loss show, Lose it and Weep.
9
00:01:26,336 --> 00:01:27,669
Oh, my God, I think I'm gonna throw up.
10
00:01:27,712 --> 00:01:30,255
- We got this. We got this, okay?
- You're right. We can do this.
11
00:01:30,340 --> 00:01:32,508
- Just one more dance. One more dance.
- We know how to do this.
12
00:01:32,634 --> 00:01:35,636
Jules Baxter
and her partner, Evan Webber!
13
00:02:25,895 --> 00:02:27,813
Alex, quick, come see this!
14
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:30,274
What are you watching?
15
00:02:30,358 --> 00:02:31,733
Celebrity Dance Factor.
16
00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:33,569
- No.
- It's the finals!
17
00:02:33,611 --> 00:02:35,279
Even I need a cold shower after that one.
18
00:02:35,363 --> 00:02:38,824
Let's turn to our esteemed panel ofjudges.
Tyce? Let's hear your score.
19
00:02:39,242 --> 00:02:40,576
Five stars!
20
00:02:44,664 --> 00:02:46,248
Okay. Cheryl Cole?
21
00:02:46,541 --> 00:02:48,917
You know what, if I had six stars,
I'd give you the six.
22
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:51,128
But I've only got five,
so you can have those.
23
00:02:52,589 --> 00:02:55,299
- Jules is taking it.
- No. I think D-Wade has it.
24
00:02:55,383 --> 00:02:56,675
- What?
- Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
25
00:02:56,759 --> 00:02:59,595
And Taboo of The Black Eyed Peas,
let's have your thoughts.
26
00:02:59,637 --> 00:03:02,139
It wasn't for me, so I gave you a three.
27
00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:04,892
- Dude. She's totally doing him.
- No way.
28
00:03:04,934 --> 00:03:07,019
Don't question the sage insights
of Star Buzz.
29
00:03:07,103 --> 00:03:09,396
We've tallied the judges' scores
and added them to our viewers' votes.
30
00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:14,109
And let me tell you, this is
the closest result we have ever recorded.
31
00:03:14,277 --> 00:03:16,278
May I have the envelope, please?
32
00:03:17,071 --> 00:03:18,113
Thank you.
33
00:03:20,533 --> 00:03:25,954
And the winner of Celebrity Dance Factor,
Season 15 is...
34
00:03:34,631 --> 00:03:35,839
I can't...
35
00:03:37,967 --> 00:03:40,260
Jules Baxter and Evan Webber!
36
00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:12,167
Jules? Are you okay?
37
00:04:12,210 --> 00:04:13,293
I'm sorry. So sorry.
38
00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:16,338
Let's hope she's not pregnant, folks.
39
00:04:19,968 --> 00:04:21,009
Fireworks!
40
00:04:32,897 --> 00:04:35,941
Book signing. Milk It! the book!
41
00:04:36,025 --> 00:04:38,235
Pictures of breasts inside!
42
00:04:38,653 --> 00:04:41,071
Welcome, everyone, to The Breast Choice.
43
00:04:41,155 --> 00:04:45,033
I'm Wendy Cooper, wearing two hats today
as store owner
44
00:04:45,201 --> 00:04:49,204
and author of my very first
children's book Milk It!
45
00:04:50,373 --> 00:04:51,873
Yay!
46
00:04:52,208 --> 00:04:54,376
So let's get started.
47
00:04:55,503 --> 00:04:56,878
Hi.
48
00:04:58,214 --> 00:05:00,340
"Goats do it.
49
00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:02,801
"Cows do it.
50
00:05:03,052 --> 00:05:04,803
"Kitties do it.
51
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:08,056
"Even dolphins in the sea do it.
52
00:05:08,808 --> 00:05:13,061
"When your mommy uses her breasts
to feed a baby
53
00:05:13,229 --> 00:05:15,856
"she is feeding her baby the..."
54
00:05:15,898 --> 00:05:17,190
Tits!
55
00:05:17,233 --> 00:05:18,442
Gary!
56
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:21,153
Okay, okay. Sorry. I got it. I got it.
57
00:05:21,696 --> 00:05:23,947
- Hey, kid!
- All right!
58
00:05:24,032 --> 00:05:26,742
- They're called breasts.
- Thank you all for coming.
59
00:05:26,909 --> 00:05:30,495
It was just lovely. And hug your mommies
for breast-feeding you.
60
00:05:30,580 --> 00:05:33,165
- Thank you.
- Bye. Thank you. See you.
61
00:05:33,249 --> 00:05:35,834
- Hey! Great job, hon!
- Did you get that kid?
62
00:05:35,918 --> 00:05:37,127
No. He was too fast.
63
00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:40,213
But I said some choice words.
They were very choice.
64
00:05:40,256 --> 00:05:42,049
Punk. Next time, get him.
65
00:05:42,091 --> 00:05:45,385
Okay. I will. But what's important right now?
66
00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:48,096
That I just had my first reading.
67
00:05:48,139 --> 00:05:51,141
Yeah! Yeah, you did! You did great.
68
00:05:51,267 --> 00:05:53,560
- I gotta get back, okay?
- What? No! Gar!
69
00:05:53,603 --> 00:05:56,104
- Lil Wayne is waiting.
- Can't some other dentist do it?
70
00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:58,273
Squeaks, it's my first grill!
71
00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:00,275
- Right? Yeah.
- All right.
72
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,110
- It's a big deal.
- I was gonna take you to lunch, but okay.
73
00:06:02,153 --> 00:06:04,738
Next time, all right?
Congratulations! Great job!
74
00:06:08,117 --> 00:06:09,743
- Gar!
- Yeah?
75
00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:16,083
Two minutes.
76
00:06:16,250 --> 00:06:17,459
- I gotta go.
- Honey!
77
00:06:17,543 --> 00:06:18,835
- Honey, I got to go, I got...
- Honey!
78
00:06:22,924 --> 00:06:23,924
- Janice!
- Yeah.
79
00:06:23,966 --> 00:06:25,384
I'm taking Gary in the back.
80
00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:33,141
Look, we can do this the easy way
or we can do this the hard way.
81
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:36,895
And I get it, you're naked, you're vulnerable
but this is a safe place, you know.
82
00:06:36,979 --> 00:06:39,648
No need to resort to cheap theatrics.
83
00:06:40,316 --> 00:06:43,735
We're better than that, right? We're artists.
84
00:06:43,820 --> 00:06:45,946
So, let's just keep it dignified.
85
00:06:49,867 --> 00:06:51,326
Look, kid.
86
00:06:51,369 --> 00:06:55,539
If you don't smile, your mom doesn't buy
any prints and I don't get paid.
87
00:06:55,748 --> 00:06:56,998
So, suck it up.
88
00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:00,794
All right, baby. You like it when I'm bossy?
89
00:07:01,546 --> 00:07:03,880
Okay! Okay.
90
00:07:04,340 --> 00:07:08,885
Work the feet. Show me those gums!
That's it, baby!
91
00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:14,683
Holly, these are amazing.
92
00:07:14,767 --> 00:07:17,894
Well, I can give you 20 % off
on prints if you order today.
93
00:07:19,981 --> 00:07:22,858
- Oh, my God! I am so sorry.
- Okay!
94
00:07:23,651 --> 00:07:26,570
That's okay. It happens.
95
00:07:26,654 --> 00:07:28,697
You know the last guy
who threw up on me?
96
00:07:28,781 --> 00:07:30,866
You know what I did? I married him.
97
00:07:31,367 --> 00:07:33,994
You're so good with kids.
You should have one of your own.
98
00:07:34,036 --> 00:07:35,704
Yeah. That's kind of the plan.
99
00:07:35,746 --> 00:07:38,206
Well, don't wait too long.
You don't wanna miss your window.
100
00:07:38,249 --> 00:07:39,374
Right.
101
00:07:39,417 --> 00:07:42,878
Yeah! Let's get you cleaned up. Yeah.
102
00:07:44,088 --> 00:07:45,755
What do you got?
103
00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:47,883
Some wine, cheese and crackers,
your favorites.
104
00:07:47,967 --> 00:07:49,509
That's a real treat.
105
00:07:50,344 --> 00:07:51,970
So what's the movie anyway?
106
00:07:52,054 --> 00:07:53,763
Dirty Dancing.
107
00:07:53,848 --> 00:07:56,558
All right! That's a good one. Yeah.
108
00:07:59,270 --> 00:08:00,520
What are you...
109
00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:03,023
I would like to propose a toast.
110
00:08:03,065 --> 00:08:06,109
Okay. But you haven't had a drink
in two years.
111
00:08:06,444 --> 00:08:07,986
I just...
112
00:08:08,070 --> 00:08:10,238
I think we should take a break from trying.
113
00:08:10,281 --> 00:08:11,573
And just be us for a while.
114
00:08:12,241 --> 00:08:14,618
All right. I'll drink to that. Sure.
115
00:08:15,536 --> 00:08:16,745
To us.
116
00:08:16,787 --> 00:08:20,415
And if that doesn't work
we'll do three rounds of IVF.
117
00:08:22,251 --> 00:08:24,002
And if that doesn't work,
118
00:08:24,086 --> 00:08:25,378
we'll just adopt, which will be great,
119
00:08:25,421 --> 00:08:28,340
because I have no fears,
genetic or otherwise.
120
00:08:30,551 --> 00:08:31,676
To us.
121
00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:33,762
To not snuffing out the flame.
122
00:08:33,846 --> 00:08:35,013
- Okay.
- Okay.
123
00:08:38,476 --> 00:08:41,269
What are you doing? Oh, my God!
Are you gonna go for it?
124
00:08:41,562 --> 00:08:43,730
You're going for it. You did it.
125
00:08:43,898 --> 00:08:47,192
You just... You crushed it.
You crushed a glass of wine.
126
00:08:47,443 --> 00:08:48,777
Oh, my God, I'm wasted.
127
00:08:49,278 --> 00:08:50,612
Yeah, I bet you are!
128
00:08:50,821 --> 00:08:54,574
It's so good. Why have I wasted two years
not drinking this?
129
00:08:55,034 --> 00:08:57,160
Oh, my God! The Big Pig is here.
130
00:08:57,286 --> 00:08:59,120
- I didn't even get a tweet!
- All right, people.
131
00:08:59,163 --> 00:09:01,623
It's swine time, let's go!
What do you want, bud?
132
00:09:01,666 --> 00:09:05,085
Yeah, give me two carnitas tacos
and a jalapeno fritter.
133
00:09:05,127 --> 00:09:07,128
Good man. You have your cardiologist
on speed dial, right?
134
00:09:07,296 --> 00:09:08,880
Right? You do, right? Hey, girls.
135
00:09:09,298 --> 00:09:11,758
How are you?
Best meal on wheels right here.
136
00:09:11,842 --> 00:09:15,262
Tell that to my cheese and bacon panini.
Total foodgasm.
137
00:09:15,596 --> 00:09:17,055
Bacon?
138
00:09:18,516 --> 00:09:19,849
Have a good night.
139
00:09:22,353 --> 00:09:23,395
Bacon.
140
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:26,731
You know what? I'm also gonna get
the Georgia Dog Special.
141
00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:28,900
- Yo, chef. Where're you going?
- Two seconds.
142
00:09:28,985 --> 00:09:30,777
I added to my order.
Do you think he heard it?
143
00:09:30,820 --> 00:09:33,029
I can't do anything with gloves on.
144
00:09:33,823 --> 00:09:34,823
What can I get you guys?
145
00:09:36,325 --> 00:09:37,367
All right, excellent choice.
146
00:09:37,493 --> 00:09:39,494
Hey! What do you think you're doing?
147
00:09:40,162 --> 00:09:41,496
There's a line if you want to order.
148
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:45,417
The only thing I'm ordering is for you
to stop serving bacon, okay? Pig's our turf.
149
00:09:47,044 --> 00:09:49,337
Oh, my God! Your turf?
150
00:09:49,797 --> 00:09:51,006
- Yeah.
- Is this West Side Story?
151
00:09:51,090 --> 00:09:52,090
Are we gonna rumble at midnight?
152
00:09:52,174 --> 00:09:54,718
You know what, maybe I got
a whole gang of back-up dancers
153
00:09:54,802 --> 00:09:56,386
- just ready to go, okay?
- Wow!
154
00:09:56,512 --> 00:09:58,513
You're the cheese truck, so stick to cheese.
155
00:09:58,556 --> 00:10:00,640
- Can I order now?
- No! Just give me one second, please.
156
00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:04,060
That's funny, 'cause I noticed that those
jalapeno fritters you guys are serving...
157
00:10:04,145 --> 00:10:07,230
Are awesome, right? They're my invention.
I made them.
158
00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:08,857
They have ricotta cheese in them.
159
00:10:08,941 --> 00:10:10,817
Come on! That's like a little bit of cheese.
160
00:10:10,860 --> 00:10:12,527
That's nothing compared
to the bacon crutch
161
00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:14,154
you're propping these sandwiches up on.
162
00:10:14,196 --> 00:10:16,781
They're paninis, they're grilled peach
and blue cheese paninis,
163
00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:18,325
with a dash of bacon.
164
00:10:18,367 --> 00:10:20,118
Also awesome. Also my invention.
165
00:10:22,413 --> 00:10:25,248
All right, you wanna go? Let's go.
Your special against my special.
166
00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:26,916
Whoever sells the most tonight, wins.
167
00:10:27,209 --> 00:10:28,585
- Fine.
- Fine.
168
00:10:28,669 --> 00:10:30,712
All right, if I win,
you have to have a drink with me.
169
00:10:31,213 --> 00:10:32,714
And if you win, you may have
170
00:10:33,341 --> 00:10:35,008
- three drinks with me.
- That's cute.
171
00:10:35,051 --> 00:10:37,552
So you can stand me up again?
No thank you.
172
00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:40,847
That was five years ago.
But that's sweet you still remember that.
173
00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:43,266
I'm impressed, Rosie.
174
00:10:43,392 --> 00:10:44,434
I'll see you in the field, all right?
175
00:10:44,518 --> 00:10:46,394
- It doesn't keep me up nights.
- Sure.
176
00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:47,854
Who's that?
177
00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:50,857
This guy from high school. Total player.
178
00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:53,401
I'd play with that.
179
00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:55,362
Don't be gross. Don't be that girl.
180
00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:01,159
You're not still hungry, are you?
181
00:11:01,243 --> 00:11:04,287
I don't know. It depends on what you got left
in your picnic basket.
182
00:11:04,372 --> 00:11:07,582
Dr. Cooper. We're in a public place.
183
00:11:07,625 --> 00:11:10,335
I know. It's all so unscheduled.
184
00:11:40,282 --> 00:11:41,449
I win.
185
00:11:42,284 --> 00:11:44,577
What did you think was gonna happen?
186
00:11:44,620 --> 00:11:48,790
Well, I asked you to prom first, all right.
And then you said, "Maybe"
187
00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:50,250
- so I decided to ask someone else.
- No, I didn't...
188
00:11:50,292 --> 00:11:53,086
Yes, you did. So I asked someone else.
Then you said, "Yes."
189
00:11:53,629 --> 00:11:57,257
So I tried to take you both.
What's so wrong with that?
190
00:11:57,800 --> 00:11:59,884
- I'm not saying it worked.
- Fine.
191
00:12:00,177 --> 00:12:02,220
I blocked out most of high school anyway.
192
00:12:02,304 --> 00:12:04,139
Hey. Where'd you get this guy?
193
00:12:05,307 --> 00:12:06,808
I fought a grill and the grill won.
194
00:12:06,892 --> 00:12:08,351
Why'd you fight the grill?
It always wins.
195
00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:10,687
- "Chef hands." Occupational hazard.
- Yeah, guys love it, though.
196
00:12:10,855 --> 00:12:12,647
- Do they?
- Guys love burned hands.
197
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:14,023
Yeah? Check this out. Okay.
198
00:12:14,108 --> 00:12:16,484
First time breaking down a pig
when I was 16.
199
00:12:16,610 --> 00:12:18,528
- Five stitches. Five. Yeah.
- Five?
200
00:12:18,612 --> 00:12:20,572
- That is adorable!
- I wasn't asking your opinion, that's okay.
201
00:12:20,656 --> 00:12:22,407
- That is adorable!
- All right, I wasn't asking your opinion.
202
00:12:22,491 --> 00:12:25,160
Look. A deli slicer
nearly took my whole thumb off.
203
00:12:25,244 --> 00:12:27,954
All right. Second-degree burn.
Making caramels.
204
00:12:28,205 --> 00:12:30,582
- Your own fault.
- Yeah, I know.
205
00:12:30,666 --> 00:12:32,250
Home-made is the best, though.
206
00:12:32,334 --> 00:12:34,669
- So good for you for trying.
- Never again. Never again.
207
00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:37,380
- Julienning shallots.
- Julienning shallots?
208
00:12:37,465 --> 00:12:39,966
'Cause Julianne, ex-girlfriend, right there,
she got me.
209
00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:42,218
- Julianne. I see what you did there.
- I know.
210
00:12:42,303 --> 00:12:44,387
- That's good.
- Yeah? It was good, right? I saved it for you.
211
00:12:44,472 --> 00:12:46,389
Whoever she was, you probably deserved it.
212
00:12:46,682 --> 00:12:49,184
What? You are so mean.
Are you always this mean?
213
00:12:49,268 --> 00:12:51,686
- Always.
- Is that your gift?
214
00:12:52,188 --> 00:12:53,396
Always?
215
00:12:57,693 --> 00:12:59,319
Okay.
216
00:12:59,862 --> 00:13:02,363
Okay, Trouble. I'm gonna go.
217
00:13:02,698 --> 00:13:04,491
- You're gonna go?
- I'm gonna go.
218
00:13:04,700 --> 00:13:07,619
- It's been super real.
- Where do you think you're going?
219
00:13:07,703 --> 00:13:11,539
- It's been great catching up with you...
- Yes!
220
00:13:11,832 --> 00:13:13,291
Formal handshake. Good to see you.
221
00:13:13,375 --> 00:13:15,043
Maybe I'll see you on the truck line
222
00:13:15,085 --> 00:13:16,169
- again sometime, right?
- Yeah.
223
00:13:16,378 --> 00:13:17,629
Yeah, Rosie Brennan.
224
00:13:17,713 --> 00:13:19,839
- Your hands are on my waist.
- They are on your waist, aren't they?
225
00:13:19,882 --> 00:13:22,133
How did they find themselves there?
I don't know.
226
00:13:22,676 --> 00:13:24,594
This is really awkward, isn't it?
227
00:13:24,678 --> 00:13:26,638
Well, if you don't stop me,
I'm just gonna kiss you.
228
00:13:26,722 --> 00:13:28,640
Is that gonna be okay?
229
00:13:44,573 --> 00:13:46,950
This is me getting in my car.
230
00:13:47,034 --> 00:13:48,409
This is you waving goodbye.
231
00:13:56,210 --> 00:13:57,919
My zipper's stuck.
232
00:13:58,504 --> 00:14:00,421
Is that our alarm?
233
00:14:00,464 --> 00:14:01,548
What?
234
00:14:01,590 --> 00:14:04,217
- Yeah. Definitely.
- No, I think our car's that way.
235
00:14:04,260 --> 00:14:05,677
No, it's this way.
236
00:14:22,611 --> 00:14:24,112
Water feels so good.
237
00:14:24,196 --> 00:14:25,530
Good, baby.
238
00:14:25,614 --> 00:14:26,781
Do you want some tea?
239
00:14:26,949 --> 00:14:28,241
No.
240
00:14:28,742 --> 00:14:30,410
Are you sure you're not freaking out?
241
00:14:30,452 --> 00:14:34,289
Seriously, I mean, just say so.
I can handle it.
242
00:14:35,082 --> 00:14:36,916
Freak out's a little strong.
243
00:14:36,959 --> 00:14:39,252
I really thought I had a bum fallopian tube.
244
00:14:39,503 --> 00:14:41,421
- I just don't wanna force it.
- Hey, Crazy.
245
00:14:43,173 --> 00:14:45,049
I wanted to be with you
before you were pregnant.
246
00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:47,385
This just speeds things up a little.
247
00:14:47,636 --> 00:14:49,679
- A lot.
- So?
248
00:14:50,514 --> 00:14:52,557
We're old enough. We love each other.
249
00:14:53,350 --> 00:14:55,643
What's to figure out?
250
00:14:55,686 --> 00:14:58,396
Apart from what are you gonna do
about your show?
251
00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:00,815
Well, we start filming in three weeks
252
00:15:00,858 --> 00:15:03,443
and I'll be finished before I have to deliver.
253
00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:08,907
So, basically, I am going to be
helping people get thin while I get fat.
254
00:15:09,408 --> 00:15:10,700
What are you doing?
255
00:15:11,869 --> 00:15:13,369
Yeah!
256
00:15:15,873 --> 00:15:19,042
- Shit! My tattoo!
- So what?
257
00:15:19,501 --> 00:15:22,921
You're not gonna be the only mom out there
with that Spring Break dolphin. Trust me.
258
00:15:23,005 --> 00:15:25,548
But those other moms
aren't getting judged like me.
259
00:15:25,841 --> 00:15:28,509
Good call, Holly.
"I'll never get tired of a dolphin."
260
00:15:29,511 --> 00:15:32,055
I'm not tired of it. I smile every time I see it.
261
00:15:32,139 --> 00:15:34,057
Oh, God! Stop!
262
00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:39,854
Let's do it.
263
00:15:39,897 --> 00:15:41,272
- Let's see.
- Okay.
264
00:15:42,691 --> 00:15:44,150
No, no, no!
265
00:15:44,193 --> 00:15:45,234
What? No!
266
00:15:45,569 --> 00:15:47,987
- Even our wedding photo?
- I'm not taking any chances.
267
00:15:48,238 --> 00:15:49,280
Okay?
268
00:15:50,324 --> 00:15:51,908
Be normal.
269
00:15:55,287 --> 00:15:58,247
And you're planning on
bringing the baby home here?
270
00:15:58,374 --> 00:15:59,499
- Yeah, we're...
- No.
271
00:15:59,541 --> 00:16:02,126
No, this is just a rental.
272
00:16:02,211 --> 00:16:04,462
We're buying a house, a really nice house.
273
00:16:04,546 --> 00:16:08,800
A big yard, one story,
no pool or sharp edges of any kind.
274
00:16:08,884 --> 00:16:11,636
Yeah, we're moving into a padded cell.
275
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:14,263
And why did you choose Ethiopia?
276
00:16:15,265 --> 00:16:18,518
Honestly, we would have been happy
adopting from anywhere.
277
00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:22,146
We were on a waiting list for Guatemala,
but then they closed their adoptions.
278
00:16:22,231 --> 00:16:25,483
So we started researching Ethiopia
and we just...
279
00:16:25,734 --> 00:16:27,276
We just really fell in love with the culture.
280
00:16:29,154 --> 00:16:30,989
Plus, all the white babies were taken.
281
00:16:32,616 --> 00:16:34,075
You're a comedian?
282
00:16:35,077 --> 00:16:36,577
- No. He's not.
- No.
283
00:16:37,329 --> 00:16:39,455
- He's not even funny. At all.
- Yeah.
284
00:16:40,082 --> 00:16:44,127
What he does is, he actually picks songs
for commercials for an ad agency.
285
00:16:44,378 --> 00:16:46,421
- Great health insurance.
- Yeah.
286
00:16:46,505 --> 00:16:49,924
They're working on a big ad
for Delta Air Lines...
287
00:16:49,967 --> 00:16:52,468
Well, we're bidding on it.
It's not a done deal yet.
288
00:16:52,886 --> 00:16:54,929
And how's the photography business?
289
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:57,598
Well, I'm still waiting for the Guggenheim
to start collecting my work.
290
00:16:57,641 --> 00:17:00,393
But until then, I'm shooting at
the Aquarium.
291
00:17:00,436 --> 00:17:02,520
And, you know, it pays the bills.
292
00:17:04,523 --> 00:17:06,482
"All the white babies were taken"?
293
00:17:06,567 --> 00:17:08,026
What?
294
00:17:09,194 --> 00:17:10,278
Cookie?
295
00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:11,362
No, thank you.
296
00:17:12,531 --> 00:17:14,615
So you think we're looking at a year?
297
00:17:14,658 --> 00:17:18,119
Well, every case has its own timeline.
You just have to be patient.
298
00:17:18,579 --> 00:17:21,664
But on average, yes, a year. Maybe more.
299
00:17:21,999 --> 00:17:23,291
More?
300
00:17:24,334 --> 00:17:27,962
I could work with that, right?
Yeah, that sounds good.
301
00:17:28,297 --> 00:17:30,548
So does that mean you like us?
302
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:33,342
I don't see any red flags.
303
00:17:33,510 --> 00:17:36,721
But you need to baby-proof
if you're going to stay here.
304
00:17:36,972 --> 00:17:38,347
Yeah. Of course.
305
00:17:38,766 --> 00:17:39,891
Do you have a wedding photo?
306
00:17:39,975 --> 00:17:42,268
The Ethiopian authorities really like to
see that in the packet.
307
00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:44,187
- No.
- Yeah, we do.
308
00:17:44,271 --> 00:17:46,481
- Of course we do. Yeah, we do.
- No, we don't. We lost it.
309
00:17:46,523 --> 00:17:49,650
- Yeah. We do. Where is it?
- No! No! No!
310
00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:53,821
I think it's right here.
311
00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:58,117
Vegas. It was a costume wedding.
312
00:17:58,577 --> 00:18:00,578
I was Prince, Holly was a showgirl.
313
00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:03,623
He loves Purple Rain.
314
00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:07,043
You know what, why don't we just say
it got burned in a fire?
315
00:18:07,336 --> 00:18:08,628
Good one.
316
00:18:08,670 --> 00:18:10,171
- Here.
- Thank you.
317
00:18:11,215 --> 00:18:14,509
Wendy, can I go
on my 15-minute Facebook break?
318
00:18:15,844 --> 00:18:18,888
Wendy?
319
00:18:19,473 --> 00:18:21,015
Are you dead?
320
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:22,850
Hey.
321
00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:27,438
Man, I was dreaming
that I had a kangaroo pouch.
322
00:18:27,898 --> 00:18:29,315
That sounds awesome.
323
00:18:29,775 --> 00:18:32,819
It was like a purse.
I could hide my snacks in it.
324
00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:35,279
You're like a human-kanga hybrid.
325
00:18:37,783 --> 00:18:39,826
I like to rub my breasts, too.
326
00:18:47,167 --> 00:18:49,752
Gary! Gar Bear!
327
00:18:49,878 --> 00:18:53,506
Gar! Gary! Gar Bear! Gar!
328
00:18:56,343 --> 00:18:57,844
- Wendy!
- We're pregnant!
329
00:18:58,095 --> 00:19:00,054
I'm with child! We're pregnant!
330
00:19:00,097 --> 00:19:01,806
- Oh, my God!
- We did it!
331
00:19:03,392 --> 00:19:07,395
My balls work! My balls work! Oh, my God!
332
00:19:07,729 --> 00:19:09,689
Keep it in your lane, people.
333
00:19:09,731 --> 00:19:11,566
I did it! I did it!
334
00:19:12,067 --> 00:19:14,527
- We did it! We're gonna have a baby!
- We made a baby!
335
00:19:19,533 --> 00:19:20,992
Shit!
336
00:19:21,076 --> 00:19:23,828
Rosie, hurry up!
I need my lucky bra for my interview.
337
00:19:24,204 --> 00:19:25,496
Ro!
338
00:19:26,874 --> 00:19:29,208
Two seconds, that's all I wanted.
339
00:19:29,793 --> 00:19:32,420
What's her deal?
I thought she finally got laid.
340
00:19:32,462 --> 00:19:33,504
I don't know.
341
00:19:34,131 --> 00:19:36,257
I love these hardwood floors!
342
00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:40,011
This is it, baby. It's so perfect.
This is the one.
343
00:19:40,387 --> 00:19:43,598
Are you insane?
We're not buying, we're just looking.
344
00:19:44,057 --> 00:19:46,225
You want the house or the baby?
345
00:19:46,268 --> 00:19:47,685
I want the house for the baby.
346
00:19:47,769 --> 00:19:49,979
We can't afford it.
347
00:19:50,105 --> 00:19:52,190
- Hi.
- Hi.
348
00:19:52,524 --> 00:19:53,858
Hi.
349
00:19:55,068 --> 00:19:57,653
Look, this is it.
This is the one we have to get.
350
00:19:57,779 --> 00:19:59,906
We're just looking.
351
00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:03,659
- Stop worrying.
- Okay, okay.
352
00:20:03,744 --> 00:20:06,954
It's just, he gives me a hard time
when I'm late, you know.
353
00:20:08,373 --> 00:20:09,999
Don't let him get into your head.
354
00:20:10,083 --> 00:20:13,419
Yeah. Okay. You're right.
He can't ruin this. Not today.
355
00:20:13,462 --> 00:20:14,879
No.
356
00:20:18,091 --> 00:20:19,634
So, Dad.
357
00:20:19,885 --> 00:20:22,511
Wendy and I have
a little announcement to make.
358
00:20:23,305 --> 00:20:24,805
- We're pregnant!
- We're pregnant!
359
00:20:27,559 --> 00:20:28,684
Oh, my God!
360
00:20:29,186 --> 00:20:30,269
Isn't that great?
361
00:20:32,814 --> 00:20:34,106
- So are we!
- What?
362
00:20:34,149 --> 00:20:35,650
You're... What, are you... Are you kidding?
363
00:20:35,817 --> 00:20:39,362
Yeah, hell's bells.
I guess it's congratulations to all of us.
364
00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:43,449
Holy... I had no idea
that you guys were even trying.
365
00:20:43,742 --> 00:20:45,034
- We weren't!
- No.
366
00:20:45,118 --> 00:20:48,246
Now, look, son,
there's no blanks in this pistol.
367
00:20:48,330 --> 00:20:49,705
Boom!
368
00:20:51,541 --> 00:20:53,626
You guys, you've been trying
for quite a while.
369
00:20:53,669 --> 00:20:55,503
What two, three months?
Something like that?
370
00:20:55,796 --> 00:20:57,338
Two years.
371
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:00,216
Not everything's a race, Dad.
372
00:21:00,467 --> 00:21:01,509
- Gar.
- No.
373
00:21:01,551 --> 00:21:03,052
- Yeah. Right?
- No. Not everything.
374
00:21:03,387 --> 00:21:05,471
Only things where you can come in first.
375
00:21:05,847 --> 00:21:07,640
- Okay.
- Come on.
376
00:21:07,683 --> 00:21:10,559
Gary, let's celebrate.
Let's go to Margaritaville.
377
00:21:10,644 --> 00:21:12,561
- I don't wanna go to Margaritaville.
- Come on.
378
00:21:12,646 --> 00:21:14,063
I don't wanna go to Margaritaville.
379
00:21:14,398 --> 00:21:16,774
Everybody wants to go to Margaritaville.
380
00:21:18,485 --> 00:21:20,528
- I don't wanna go.
- Come on!
381
00:21:20,570 --> 00:21:23,197
I'm gonna break out
the Don Julio "Blank-o."
382
00:21:23,407 --> 00:21:26,867
"Blanco," Dad. "Blanco."
That's how you pronounce it.
383
00:21:26,994 --> 00:21:29,495
And it's 11 :00 a.m., kind of early for shots.
384
00:21:29,871 --> 00:21:32,373
- It's 5:00 somewhere.
- True.
385
00:21:32,624 --> 00:21:34,750
- Don't be a pussy.
- You know what?
386
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:37,211
Margaritaville is abierto for business.
387
00:21:37,296 --> 00:21:40,881
Wendy, I just have to say, I am just
so happy to have a baby expert in the family.
388
00:21:41,508 --> 00:21:43,217
Are you feeling anything yet?
389
00:21:43,302 --> 00:21:44,343
Joy.
390
00:21:44,386 --> 00:21:46,053
- Yeah.
- Some exhaustion.
391
00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:49,557
A little nausea. Some heartburn.
And my boobs are killing me.
392
00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:51,934
Plus, I have to pee every five minutes.
393
00:21:52,019 --> 00:21:56,689
But it's just proof
that a miracle is happening inside of me.
394
00:21:56,732 --> 00:21:58,357
So I'm so happy.
395
00:21:59,026 --> 00:22:00,901
It is a miracle, isn't it?
396
00:22:00,986 --> 00:22:03,738
I mean, I thought I'd have to
give up my Pilates, and my running
397
00:22:04,197 --> 00:22:08,326
- and tennis and my strip-aerobics.
- Sure.
398
00:22:08,410 --> 00:22:10,953
And kickboxing, just all my activities.
399
00:22:11,038 --> 00:22:13,289
But it just turns out
I have all this extra energy.
400
00:22:13,582 --> 00:22:15,583
- You know? You know?
- Oh, yeah.
401
00:22:15,625 --> 00:22:17,084
Plus,
402
00:22:17,169 --> 00:22:20,004
I'm like crazy-horny.
403
00:22:20,339 --> 00:22:22,506
- Okay. Okay.
- I mean,
404
00:22:22,632 --> 00:22:26,886
if I even get a whiff of Ramsey,
it's like I just have to pounce, you know?
405
00:22:26,928 --> 00:22:28,554
And I gotta give this old boy credit.
406
00:22:28,597 --> 00:22:32,892
He's still got that race car engine
that can go the distance.
407
00:22:33,602 --> 00:22:36,103
- Hormones. What're you gonna do?
- Yeah. Yeah.
408
00:22:36,188 --> 00:22:38,147
I don't know.
Maybe not talk about it at brunch?
409
00:22:38,231 --> 00:22:40,358
- Yep, that's what I'd do.
- That's what I'd do, too.
410
00:22:40,442 --> 00:22:42,109
We're on the same page on that one.
411
00:22:42,152 --> 00:22:44,028
Honey, I know you can't have any
412
00:22:44,112 --> 00:22:47,031
- so I'm gonna do one for you and the baby.
- The baby!
413
00:22:47,282 --> 00:22:48,449
Sweet.
414
00:22:49,326 --> 00:22:52,828
- Here's to the Coopers.
- Yeah, you know what, what the hell.
415
00:22:52,913 --> 00:22:54,538
Yeah.
416
00:22:55,582 --> 00:22:57,291
Well, that was delicious.
417
00:22:57,376 --> 00:23:00,127
Honey, I didn't make any of it.
You know Ramsey don't want me cooking.
418
00:23:00,253 --> 00:23:01,837
- Your mom and I...
- Not my mom.
419
00:23:01,922 --> 00:23:03,672
We sure wish y'all could stay longer.
420
00:23:04,216 --> 00:23:06,467
Yeah. That's the thing. It's such a bummer,
421
00:23:06,551 --> 00:23:09,261
but the missus
and little Mini Cooper and I,
422
00:23:09,304 --> 00:23:10,513
we have an appointment.
423
00:23:10,597 --> 00:23:12,348
- Yes, at...
- Walmart.
424
00:23:12,432 --> 00:23:13,891
- For paint.
- Yeah. And mulch.
425
00:23:13,975 --> 00:23:18,020
Well, you know what they say.
Money isn't everything,
426
00:23:18,105 --> 00:23:20,314
but sure keeps you connected to your kids.
427
00:23:20,774 --> 00:23:22,149
- So how much you need?
- Dad, I don't need any money.
428
00:23:22,192 --> 00:23:23,651
- I don't need any money.
- Come on. How much you need?
429
00:23:23,735 --> 00:23:25,820
No, I don't need anything at all.
Thank you so much.
430
00:23:25,946 --> 00:23:28,072
- Man pats.
- Man pats, that's great.
431
00:23:28,156 --> 00:23:29,615
Come here, baby, give your mama a kiss.
432
00:23:29,658 --> 00:23:30,825
- What?
- Okay...
433
00:23:30,909 --> 00:23:32,493
- Baby.
- Okay.
434
00:23:32,577 --> 00:23:35,162
My baby boy. I'm so proud of you.
You've grown up so fast.
435
00:23:35,247 --> 00:23:37,248
Okay, Gary. Gar.
436
00:23:37,332 --> 00:23:38,707
- What? Yeah.
- Okay.
437
00:23:39,835 --> 00:23:41,961
- Awesome. This was so much...
- All right. We'll see y'all later.
438
00:23:42,003 --> 00:23:44,004
Yeah, great, this was a thing, you know?
439
00:23:44,047 --> 00:23:45,923
- Congratulations!
- Yeah, congrats.
440
00:23:46,007 --> 00:23:48,676
- Come back soon!
- Don't ever kiss her again.
441
00:23:50,637 --> 00:23:51,846
Well...
442
00:23:53,098 --> 00:23:55,724
Okay. Are you sure you took the test right?
443
00:23:56,977 --> 00:23:59,186
You pee on a stick. It's idiot-proof.
444
00:23:59,229 --> 00:24:02,523
No, I know. It's just, you know, one time.
445
00:24:02,607 --> 00:24:03,649
Yeah.
446
00:24:08,238 --> 00:24:10,489
So what do you want to do?
447
00:24:11,366 --> 00:24:12,825
I don't know.
448
00:24:13,452 --> 00:24:14,910
What do you want to do?
449
00:24:15,287 --> 00:24:17,788
Look, I don't know.
450
00:24:17,873 --> 00:24:22,084
I just found out, okay? You're the girl.
Don't you get to decide?
451
00:24:22,169 --> 00:24:24,044
Great, great. So then it's all on me?
452
00:24:24,129 --> 00:24:26,130
No. No, I didn't mean...
453
00:24:28,091 --> 00:24:30,843
Shit. Should we get married?
454
00:24:31,470 --> 00:24:34,555
"Shit. Should we get married?" Yeah.
455
00:24:35,348 --> 00:24:37,600
No, it's just,
when you put it like that, that's...
456
00:24:37,684 --> 00:24:39,810
I'm sorry, Rosie.
I'm just trying to do the right thing here.
457
00:24:39,895 --> 00:24:42,688
- I didn't mean to...
- Then don't ask the wrong questions.
458
00:24:43,690 --> 00:24:46,817
- Just forget that I said anything.
- No.
459
00:24:46,902 --> 00:24:50,237
Just forget it 'cause I'll figure it out.
Whatever it is, it's not your problem.
460
00:24:50,363 --> 00:24:51,572
- Rosie!
- It's fine.
461
00:24:51,615 --> 00:24:53,157
I have to get back to the truck anyway.
462
00:25:03,793 --> 00:25:05,711
There he is!
463
00:25:06,421 --> 00:25:08,547
Perfect. Okay, guys, look right here.
464
00:25:09,090 --> 00:25:10,591
Big smile.
465
00:25:11,218 --> 00:25:13,928
Aristotle! Good smile!
466
00:25:14,721 --> 00:25:18,098
Okay, beautiful. You can pick up your prints
at the kiosk at the front.
467
00:25:18,308 --> 00:25:20,935
All right, everyone.
Aristotle needs his down time.
468
00:25:21,144 --> 00:25:22,895
Okay, can we all wave bye-bye?
469
00:25:23,271 --> 00:25:24,647
Bye!
470
00:25:24,981 --> 00:25:26,440
Thank you, nice friend.
471
00:25:26,608 --> 00:25:28,484
So, how's Alex? Is he excited?
472
00:25:28,568 --> 00:25:30,444
Yeah! Yeah! He's...
473
00:25:30,487 --> 00:25:34,114
No. Actually, he's... I don't know.
474
00:25:34,199 --> 00:25:36,450
I don't know. Maybe he's just not ready.
475
00:25:36,493 --> 00:25:38,494
- They're never ready.
- Yeah.
476
00:25:38,578 --> 00:25:40,621
Dude's group.
477
00:25:40,705 --> 00:25:42,039
- What?
- Dude's group.
478
00:25:42,123 --> 00:25:43,666
It's like Fight Club,
479
00:25:43,750 --> 00:25:46,085
only there's no fighting,
everybody has babies,
480
00:25:46,127 --> 00:25:48,170
they don't talk about what they do there.
481
00:25:48,255 --> 00:25:50,256
I don't know what they do there
and I don't need to know.
482
00:25:50,298 --> 00:25:53,259
All I know is that Craig started going
when I was pregnant with Henri
483
00:25:53,301 --> 00:25:55,386
- and he's losing his shit.
- Yeah.
484
00:25:55,470 --> 00:25:59,139
Now, he loves being a dad
and he never misses a Saturday.
485
00:25:59,224 --> 00:26:02,142
You want Alex ready?
Send him to the dudes.
486
00:26:03,311 --> 00:26:05,813
Your blood pressure is low
and you are in good health.
487
00:26:05,897 --> 00:26:08,774
- And Dad's gonna keep you that way, right?
- Right.
488
00:26:08,817 --> 00:26:10,734
- Look at these pamphlets.
- Thank you.
489
00:26:10,819 --> 00:26:12,903
That's all we need to know.
Let's not go crazy with the research.
490
00:26:12,988 --> 00:26:15,155
I love research. It soothes me.
491
00:26:15,198 --> 00:26:18,450
Well then, you'll love the wall.
I'll see you both in a month.
492
00:26:18,535 --> 00:26:20,202
Wow!
493
00:26:20,287 --> 00:26:22,121
- Look at the wall!
- No, no, no, no.
494
00:26:22,163 --> 00:26:24,373
I don't want to know about
everything that can go wrong.
495
00:26:24,457 --> 00:26:25,874
Oh, my God! Look at this.
496
00:26:25,959 --> 00:26:27,710
Okay, there's breast-feeding,
we have to know about this.
497
00:26:28,003 --> 00:26:30,087
Cord-blood-banking,
this is very important these days.
498
00:26:30,171 --> 00:26:33,340
You need to learn the Bradley Method.
And... What?
499
00:26:33,925 --> 00:26:35,634
"Circumcision: Yes or No?"
500
00:26:35,677 --> 00:26:37,845
Of course. How is that even a question?
501
00:26:37,929 --> 00:26:40,973
Actually, a lot of couples are choosing
not to circumcise these days.
502
00:26:41,433 --> 00:26:42,975
- Interesting.
- Who said that?
503
00:26:43,018 --> 00:26:45,477
The expert, honey.
So clearly, there's a question.
504
00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:48,939
- That's why it says "Yes or No?"
- My answer is "Yes." Yes! Yes!
505
00:26:49,024 --> 00:26:51,191
- My answer is, "I need to read about it."
- No more...
506
00:26:51,443 --> 00:26:53,193
See you tomorrow, okay?
507
00:27:01,536 --> 00:27:03,704
I'm not gonna forget it.
508
00:27:06,374 --> 00:27:08,667
Can I get a "I can do it"? You can do it!
509
00:27:09,210 --> 00:27:12,421
- I can do it!
- Who are you doing it for?
510
00:27:12,505 --> 00:27:14,340
Oh, my God.
Damn, this show gives me the munchies.
511
00:27:14,382 --> 00:27:15,674
This is the beginning of the rest of your life!
512
00:27:15,717 --> 00:27:17,426
I so wanna do that slide-y thing.
513
00:27:17,510 --> 00:27:19,261
I feel so bad, but it's hilarious.
514
00:27:19,346 --> 00:27:22,723
- No, no, this is just so funny.
- I hope they're having fun.
515
00:27:26,227 --> 00:27:27,353
- Hi.
- Hi.
516
00:27:27,395 --> 00:27:29,146
Marco, this is Courtney and Molly.
517
00:27:29,397 --> 00:27:31,982
- Hey. Nice to meet you.
- And vice-versa.
518
00:27:32,067 --> 00:27:35,694
I thought you said "Cute Marco."
Not "Hot Marco."
519
00:27:35,904 --> 00:27:37,780
Well done, Rosie.
520
00:27:37,864 --> 00:27:39,531
- Well done.
- You said I was cute?
521
00:27:39,574 --> 00:27:41,033
- Ignore them.
- Yeah, we did.
522
00:27:41,660 --> 00:27:43,035
So, you're going, right?
523
00:27:43,078 --> 00:27:44,953
No, I'm not. I've already got friends.
524
00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:47,915
- But these guys all have babies.
- Yeah. That sounds terrible.
525
00:27:48,792 --> 00:27:51,418
Craig goes. You like Craig.
526
00:27:51,461 --> 00:27:54,380
I tolerate Craig at a barbecue.
Not as a forced play date.
527
00:27:57,592 --> 00:28:01,887
- If you go, just once...
- Holly, I am trying to work here, okay?
528
00:28:02,681 --> 00:28:05,766
- Oh, my God!
- I'll give you one right here, right now.
529
00:28:06,643 --> 00:28:08,102
Really?
530
00:28:08,144 --> 00:28:09,853
- Right here, right now?
- Yes.
531
00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:31,685
Hey, Craig.
532
00:29:31,770 --> 00:29:34,062
Alex, Vic. Vic, Alex.
533
00:29:34,856 --> 00:29:36,106
Welcome to Happy Hour.
534
00:29:36,691 --> 00:29:37,775
Let's walk.
535
00:29:42,405 --> 00:29:44,698
I sense your fear, Alex. It's cool.
536
00:29:45,074 --> 00:29:46,241
You're still on the other side.
537
00:29:46,534 --> 00:29:48,202
Stay on that side, Alex.
538
00:29:48,286 --> 00:29:49,995
This is the side
where happiness goes to die.
539
00:29:50,038 --> 00:29:51,622
Don't mind Craig. He's had a bad week.
540
00:29:52,207 --> 00:29:55,959
Kara just took a three-day business trip
and little Henry there just got sick.
541
00:29:56,419 --> 00:29:58,962
- Here you go, big boy. Walk it off.
- Thanks.
542
00:29:59,047 --> 00:30:02,758
By the way, when we're around Kara,
it's still "Henri." "Henry's" on the DL.
543
00:30:03,384 --> 00:30:05,052
- Henri.
- You got that, Alex?
544
00:30:05,136 --> 00:30:07,137
It's very important. That's the first rule.
545
00:30:07,263 --> 00:30:09,598
- Don't talk about what we walk about.
- Rule #1.
546
00:30:09,682 --> 00:30:10,766
Got it.
547
00:30:10,850 --> 00:30:14,061
See, Alex, women pretty much control
the baby universe. And why not?
548
00:30:14,103 --> 00:30:17,314
They carried the damn things,
pushed them outta their vaginas.
549
00:30:17,398 --> 00:30:20,150
I never used to use that word
for that part of the body but, trust me,
550
00:30:20,235 --> 00:30:22,611
once a baby comes out of it, it's a vagina.
551
00:30:22,779 --> 00:30:23,987
- Yeah!
- It changes.
552
00:30:24,072 --> 00:30:26,990
Here, we're free.
No one's looking over your shoulder.
553
00:30:27,075 --> 00:30:29,743
If you put the diaper on backwards
or forget to heat the bottle up,
554
00:30:29,911 --> 00:30:31,328
you go with it.
555
00:30:31,412 --> 00:30:34,039
If you wanna ditch those carrot sticks
and feed your kid McNuggets
556
00:30:34,082 --> 00:30:35,374
- you go for it.
- Who cares?
557
00:30:35,458 --> 00:30:37,584
And if your wife named your kid "Henri"
558
00:30:37,627 --> 00:30:39,711
and you wanna ignore
that silent-H bullshit...
559
00:30:39,754 --> 00:30:42,339
- Bullshit!
- ...you're in a safe place. What's up, Henry!
560
00:30:42,423 --> 00:30:43,715
- Good to know.
- Henri. What is he, a mime?
561
00:30:44,092 --> 00:30:46,927
Where does "Henri" come from anyway?
562
00:30:47,011 --> 00:30:49,263
- Cirque du Soleil.
- So dumb.
563
00:30:49,639 --> 00:30:51,974
It looks like
you've got your hands full there.
564
00:30:52,058 --> 00:30:54,268
Yeah, I got four under five.
565
00:30:54,727 --> 00:30:58,605
One more, we can run a full court.
Two more and I got pallbearers.
566
00:30:58,857 --> 00:31:03,277
I got Evander here. Venus and Jeter
are my twins, and my main man Jordan.
567
00:31:03,653 --> 00:31:08,198
Sure, twice a year, I think about the price
of college and cry in my car for a half hour.
568
00:31:08,283 --> 00:31:11,076
But then I punch myself in the dick
and get over it.
569
00:31:11,119 --> 00:31:13,704
- I can go for four more.
- Really?
570
00:31:13,788 --> 00:31:14,997
Come on, Jordan. Keep up.
571
00:31:15,456 --> 00:31:17,833
Craig, do you have some sunscreen?
572
00:31:17,917 --> 00:31:20,752
Relax. Sunburn is full of vitamin D.
573
00:31:20,837 --> 00:31:23,463
- Guys! It's Davis!
- Totally!
574
00:31:23,673 --> 00:31:25,674
- D-Bone!
- Hey, big guy!
575
00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:26,967
Fellas.
576
00:31:27,010 --> 00:31:28,176
What's up, bro?
577
00:31:28,970 --> 00:31:31,555
Offspring. New guy.
578
00:31:31,639 --> 00:31:32,639
What's up, man?
579
00:31:32,724 --> 00:31:34,308
- Everybody good?
- Yeah, man.
580
00:31:34,350 --> 00:31:37,185
So, D-Biscuit, haven't seen you
hanging around. Where you been?
581
00:31:37,270 --> 00:31:40,147
- Costa Rica, bro.
- Central America, classic.
582
00:31:40,189 --> 00:31:41,231
I had to do some work.
583
00:31:41,316 --> 00:31:42,399
- Really?
- Working it.
584
00:31:42,483 --> 00:31:45,360
- "Work!"
- This lucky bastard's a surf photographer,
585
00:31:45,445 --> 00:31:47,237
- travels all over.
- Sweet.
586
00:31:48,156 --> 00:31:49,489
What?
587
00:31:51,534 --> 00:31:53,493
Costa Rica.
588
00:31:56,831 --> 00:31:59,333
The mountains of Costa Rica.
589
00:31:59,417 --> 00:32:01,001
Whoa! Whoa!
590
00:32:01,210 --> 00:32:02,377
That's classified.
591
00:32:02,462 --> 00:32:04,838
Gotta watch it, Davis.
That one looks like a wife.
592
00:32:04,881 --> 00:32:05,964
She got "wife eyes."
593
00:32:06,341 --> 00:32:08,675
"Girlfriend tits," but definitely "wife eyes."
594
00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:10,969
I've got to get better pictures on my phone.
595
00:32:11,012 --> 00:32:12,387
Your phone ain't the problem, bro.
596
00:32:12,472 --> 00:32:15,015
Come on. You guys are the ones
living the real dream.
597
00:32:15,099 --> 00:32:17,100
I will Freaky Fridaywith you anytime.
598
00:32:17,352 --> 00:32:20,145
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, Patel, what's the Camaro situation?
599
00:32:20,229 --> 00:32:22,606
- You ready to sell that bad boy or what?
- Never.
600
00:32:22,690 --> 00:32:23,815
- Never?
- Yeah.
601
00:32:23,858 --> 00:32:25,692
Ask him when was the last time he drove it.
602
00:32:25,735 --> 00:32:27,194
Plus, you can't even get
a car seat in that thing.
603
00:32:27,403 --> 00:32:30,197
Patel's wife wants him to trade in
his '69 Camaro.
604
00:32:30,531 --> 00:32:32,616
We have bets on how long he can last.
605
00:32:32,700 --> 00:32:36,203
Gabriel, I understand you've embraced
the minivan, and that's yourjourney,
606
00:32:36,245 --> 00:32:39,873
but I don't want to drive a vagina on wheels.
607
00:32:40,583 --> 00:32:43,001
My vagina seats seven, comfortably.
608
00:32:43,044 --> 00:32:44,461
I've been in it a million times.
609
00:32:44,545 --> 00:32:47,214
Plus, Patel test drove a minivan
last week anyway.
610
00:32:47,340 --> 00:32:48,757
- What?
- So?
611
00:32:49,050 --> 00:32:50,217
That doesn't mean anything!
612
00:32:50,259 --> 00:32:52,594
I look at houses with Holly,
but we're not buying one.
613
00:32:54,514 --> 00:32:56,556
- Bro, bro, bro.
- What?
614
00:32:56,599 --> 00:32:59,226
When your wife says
you're just test driving minivans,
615
00:32:59,310 --> 00:33:00,560
you're buying a minivan.
616
00:33:00,687 --> 00:33:02,729
And when she says
you're just looking at houses,
617
00:33:02,772 --> 00:33:04,356
- you're buying a house.
- No, I'm not.
618
00:33:04,399 --> 00:33:05,983
- Oh, yes, you are.
- I'm not buying a house.
619
00:33:06,067 --> 00:33:07,234
Check your receipts.
620
00:33:07,318 --> 00:33:09,069
Welcome to escrow, bitch.
621
00:33:09,487 --> 00:33:12,406
No, thank you. Have the Breast Day!
622
00:33:13,574 --> 00:33:15,409
Janice! Janice!
623
00:33:15,493 --> 00:33:17,494
- You're not gonna believe this.
- What?
624
00:33:17,578 --> 00:33:20,247
You are looking at
one of the keynote speakers
625
00:33:20,289 --> 00:33:22,749
at the next regional ABC Kids Expo.
626
00:33:22,834 --> 00:33:25,711
- Shut up! No!
- Yes!
627
00:33:25,837 --> 00:33:27,504
You're living your wisdom!
628
00:33:27,588 --> 00:33:28,672
I know!
629
00:33:28,756 --> 00:33:30,924
- She's speaking at the Expo!
- I'm speaking at the Expo!
630
00:33:31,259 --> 00:33:36,013
At the Expo, about the breast pump
And the lactation
631
00:33:43,688 --> 00:33:45,230
Sorry, I just... Sorry.
632
00:33:45,523 --> 00:33:47,691
No more cell phones.
Landlines only from here on out.
633
00:33:47,775 --> 00:33:51,987
I am protecting my miracle.
634
00:33:52,113 --> 00:33:54,740
Actually, that was my cell phone.
635
00:34:05,626 --> 00:34:08,962
Hey, guys. I'm sorry.
Can I just borrow Alex for two secs?
636
00:34:09,047 --> 00:34:10,338
- What?
- This is it!
637
00:34:10,423 --> 00:34:11,673
- Already?
- Yes!
638
00:34:11,758 --> 00:34:13,300
It's supposed to be a year. Or more!
639
00:34:13,551 --> 00:34:16,470
You got lucky. I'm sending his pictures now.
640
00:34:16,512 --> 00:34:18,889
His name is Kaleb, he's six weeks old.
641
00:34:19,640 --> 00:34:23,226
We don't have any family medical history
and probably never will
642
00:34:23,311 --> 00:34:26,396
so you two will need to consider
whether that'll be an issue for you.
643
00:34:26,481 --> 00:34:27,981
- Well...
- It's not!
644
00:34:31,486 --> 00:34:33,153
- Okay. It's not.
- It's not.
645
00:34:33,237 --> 00:34:35,489
Great, I'll leave you to it.
646
00:34:40,161 --> 00:34:44,539
Oh, my God! Alex, look at him!
He's gorgeous!
647
00:34:44,874 --> 00:34:46,500
Can you feel it?
648
00:34:47,919 --> 00:34:50,128
We're gonna be a family.
649
00:34:50,171 --> 00:34:52,798
Oh, yeah. Real soon.
650
00:34:54,467 --> 00:34:56,843
- Here, let's take a picture by the sign.
- All right.
651
00:34:58,012 --> 00:35:00,764
Okay, make sure you get the sign
and the house.
652
00:35:00,848 --> 00:35:02,140
And us.
653
00:35:08,523 --> 00:35:09,898
It's a boy.
654
00:35:09,982 --> 00:35:12,359
- Wow!
- Honey!
655
00:35:12,944 --> 00:35:15,070
I just peed myself a little.
656
00:35:19,700 --> 00:35:20,867
A girl.
657
00:35:20,910 --> 00:35:23,036
- Yes!
- A mini-me!
658
00:35:26,666 --> 00:35:29,417
- We want it to be a surprise.
- It's okay. We don't have to say.
659
00:35:29,502 --> 00:35:32,587
Evan, I'm pregnant. That's surprise enough.
We wanna know.
660
00:35:32,672 --> 00:35:33,839
It's a boy.
661
00:35:33,881 --> 00:35:37,634
A boy! That's so cute! I love boys!
662
00:35:37,802 --> 00:35:40,387
It looks like it's a little early to tell.
663
00:35:42,473 --> 00:35:43,932
That's okay.
664
00:35:46,310 --> 00:35:47,769
She looks good.
665
00:35:49,021 --> 00:35:51,064
- It's a boy, Dad.
- Well...
666
00:35:51,315 --> 00:35:54,234
He kinda looks like
the Loch Ness Monster to me,
667
00:35:54,277 --> 00:35:55,944
but I'll take your word for it.
668
00:35:56,571 --> 00:35:57,696
He's beautiful, y'all.
669
00:35:58,239 --> 00:35:59,823
- Thank you.
- Now I will see your baby,
670
00:36:01,450 --> 00:36:03,910
and raise you one more.
671
00:36:08,249 --> 00:36:09,583
Twins!
672
00:36:09,917 --> 00:36:11,251
Twins.
673
00:36:11,377 --> 00:36:13,670
- Oh, my goodness! So great!
- God.
674
00:36:13,921 --> 00:36:15,922
Can you believe it? Two!
675
00:36:15,965 --> 00:36:17,382
Two número unos.
676
00:36:17,592 --> 00:36:20,302
- And you got the 4-D ultrasound video.
- Yeah.
677
00:36:20,386 --> 00:36:23,221
Don't you kinda wish you'd done it now?
I offered to pay for it.
678
00:36:24,056 --> 00:36:25,182
So, who wants dessert?
679
00:36:25,266 --> 00:36:27,767
I do! Park it here.
680
00:36:28,269 --> 00:36:30,854
- I don't know if you take it right off...
- What? Maybe you don't.
681
00:36:30,938 --> 00:36:33,273
- Take it easy.
- Wow!
682
00:36:34,108 --> 00:36:37,068
Two! Two número unos!
683
00:36:37,111 --> 00:36:38,987
Holy shit!
684
00:36:40,364 --> 00:36:42,199
- What?
- Whoa, whoa, stop, stop, stop!
685
00:36:42,283 --> 00:36:43,283
All right, turn to the side.
686
00:36:43,618 --> 00:36:46,119
Flash me the belly. I want to see it. Come on.
687
00:36:47,455 --> 00:36:48,872
I know. I'm finally starting to show.
688
00:36:49,749 --> 00:36:51,124
- I'm gonna take one every week.
- Nice.
689
00:36:51,209 --> 00:36:52,584
- Watch you two grow.
- That's a good one.
690
00:36:52,627 --> 00:36:54,002
That's a good one, huh?
691
00:36:54,503 --> 00:36:55,962
Little peanut.
692
00:36:57,465 --> 00:36:59,382
I'm really glad you're here.
693
00:36:59,467 --> 00:37:01,384
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
694
00:37:01,469 --> 00:37:03,595
Where else would I be?
695
00:37:17,485 --> 00:37:19,819
Marco? Wake up.
696
00:37:21,989 --> 00:37:24,032
I'm bleeding.
697
00:37:50,393 --> 00:37:57,315
Reminding, rewinding
Removing, regretting
698
00:37:59,902 --> 00:38:01,528
Forgetting
699
00:38:03,864 --> 00:38:10,704
Your smiles at the wake and
Your tears at the wedding
700
00:38:13,291 --> 00:38:46,114
Forgetting
701
00:39:19,482 --> 00:39:21,149
It's my fault. I wished it.
702
00:39:21,233 --> 00:39:24,194
Don't say that. It's not your fault. Okay?
703
00:39:26,530 --> 00:39:28,615
I never even felt it kick.
704
00:39:35,373 --> 00:39:36,873
Congratulations. You're off the hook.
705
00:39:36,957 --> 00:39:39,250
Rosie, don't say that. Come on. Hey!
706
00:39:39,877 --> 00:39:41,461
Hey!
707
00:39:44,298 --> 00:39:45,632
Rosie, hey!
708
00:39:48,636 --> 00:39:50,887
We're not a couple.
709
00:39:50,971 --> 00:39:54,140
We've never even been on a real date,
you know.
710
00:39:54,850 --> 00:39:57,310
I think we can do ourselves a favor
and stop pretending.
711
00:39:57,395 --> 00:40:00,063
Rosie! Hey, it's me!
712
00:40:00,815 --> 00:40:02,690
Tequila shots! Don't judge.
713
00:40:05,444 --> 00:40:06,986
Shit, Ro. You okay?
714
00:40:07,029 --> 00:40:09,155
- Yeah, I want to get inside.
- Come on.
715
00:40:25,339 --> 00:40:26,381
Fighting fit.
716
00:40:27,716 --> 00:40:30,218
All right, that's perfect. Let's see the bump.
That's great.
717
00:40:30,302 --> 00:40:31,511
- Turn to your right.
- Can we hurry this up?
718
00:40:31,595 --> 00:40:32,720
He's pushing on my bladder.
719
00:40:32,805 --> 00:40:34,347
Great. All right. We got it.
720
00:40:34,390 --> 00:40:35,682
Okay, but did you get my rack?
721
00:40:35,766 --> 00:40:38,143
Because I am gonna need evidence
that I had these.
722
00:40:38,185 --> 00:40:39,519
- We've got proof.
- You got it? Okay.
723
00:40:39,603 --> 00:40:40,812
Yeah. That's great. Thanks, Jules.
724
00:40:40,855 --> 00:40:42,772
- Jules, that was great.
- Thank you.
725
00:40:42,857 --> 00:40:44,858
We are so excited to have you
as our Spring cover mom.
726
00:40:44,942 --> 00:40:45,984
Me, too.
727
00:40:46,152 --> 00:40:48,069
Listen, can we just try to keep it positive?
728
00:40:48,154 --> 00:40:49,529
You know, there's a lot of articles out there
729
00:40:49,572 --> 00:40:52,490
that make women over 35 who are pregnant
feel like crap.
730
00:40:52,700 --> 00:40:54,033
- Right.
- And I just don't want...
731
00:40:54,118 --> 00:40:56,911
- No, it's gonna be so...
- Sorry, I've got to take this.
732
00:40:58,956 --> 00:41:00,623
Hey, you. Did you watch it?
733
00:41:00,708 --> 00:41:03,793
That circumcision video you sent me?
Give me a little heads up next time.
734
00:41:03,878 --> 00:41:05,712
I was eating lunch. Now I'm scarred for life.
735
00:41:05,838 --> 00:41:09,799
Yeah, gross! Nobody needs to see
how the sausage gets made, Jules!
736
00:41:10,134 --> 00:41:12,552
I'm not gonna let somebody
hurt my baby like that.
737
00:41:12,636 --> 00:41:14,888
Jules, trust me.
He's not even gonna remember it.
738
00:41:15,556 --> 00:41:17,307
It's not even medically necessary.
739
00:41:17,391 --> 00:41:20,643
And besides, it actually makes the penis
less sensitive.
740
00:41:20,728 --> 00:41:23,897
That's why you do it. Give the kid
some endurance, a fighting chance.
741
00:41:23,981 --> 00:41:26,649
He's perfect as he is. I don't get the point.
What is it?
742
00:41:27,610 --> 00:41:29,068
Because I'm Jewish?
743
00:41:29,653 --> 00:41:33,448
Half Jewish.
Christmas tree Jewish, that's what you said.
744
00:41:33,532 --> 00:41:35,909
But my penis is full Jew.
This is my jurisdiction.
745
00:41:35,993 --> 00:41:38,411
Okay, so I have no say in
what happens to my son?
746
00:41:39,371 --> 00:41:43,124
Besides, if you had your foreskin,
maybe I would like you a little bit more.
747
00:41:43,209 --> 00:41:44,292
How much more?
748
00:41:44,376 --> 00:41:46,127
A tip more.
749
00:41:46,837 --> 00:41:51,382
Look, I would feel shafted if we didn't do it.
750
00:41:51,425 --> 00:41:53,384
Can we discuss this weirdness later?
I'm working.
751
00:41:53,427 --> 00:41:55,178
Okay.
752
00:41:55,262 --> 00:41:56,346
I love you. Bye.
753
00:41:56,430 --> 00:41:57,597
Love you, too.
754
00:41:58,557 --> 00:42:01,392
Well, if it's any consolation,
I like an uncut guy.
755
00:42:02,436 --> 00:42:05,021
Yeah, I once banged my way
straight across Eastern Europe.
756
00:42:05,105 --> 00:42:06,773
It was fun.
757
00:42:07,107 --> 00:42:10,109
I don't know, man. Out of the blue,
I got this call and suddenly...
758
00:42:10,152 --> 00:42:11,569
- Jordan!
- ...we got this baby.
759
00:42:11,612 --> 00:42:13,279
- That's right, you got a baby.
- It's not good.
760
00:42:13,405 --> 00:42:16,991
They said it was gonna be
at least a year or more, all right?
761
00:42:17,076 --> 00:42:20,203
And that's the one thing you can count on
with adoption, right? Time.
762
00:42:22,122 --> 00:42:24,666
I need that time to save, to get ready.
763
00:42:24,750 --> 00:42:26,251
There's no such thing as ready.
764
00:42:26,293 --> 00:42:28,878
You just jump on a moving train
and try not to die.
765
00:42:29,296 --> 00:42:31,631
- Great.
- What's up, man? You terrified?
766
00:42:31,674 --> 00:42:33,424
Because you should be.
767
00:42:33,467 --> 00:42:35,969
Here's what's gonna happen.
You're gonna get to the hospital room.
768
00:42:36,011 --> 00:42:40,098
And she's gonna be laying there
with her legs splayed wide open.
769
00:42:40,307 --> 00:42:42,308
My woman gave birth doggie-style.
770
00:42:44,103 --> 00:42:45,812
They can do that, you know.
771
00:42:45,896 --> 00:42:48,815
And then out is gonna slide a little miracle.
772
00:42:48,899 --> 00:42:52,986
Half you, half her, your DNA all mixed
together in one magical baby cocktail.
773
00:42:53,070 --> 00:42:54,654
The best day of your life.
774
00:42:54,738 --> 00:42:56,573
That's sweet, but Alex here is adopting.
775
00:42:57,825 --> 00:42:59,701
Yeah, do it that way. No fuss, no muss.
776
00:42:59,785 --> 00:43:01,369
Come on, Jordan!
777
00:43:03,622 --> 00:43:05,832
- What if he hates me?
- He will.
778
00:43:05,874 --> 00:43:08,751
I mean, what if he tries to kill me
in my sleep when he's 15?
779
00:43:08,836 --> 00:43:10,628
Well, then I guess
you're not a very good father.
780
00:43:10,713 --> 00:43:12,672
That's normal.
That's like every Greek tragedy.
781
00:43:12,715 --> 00:43:13,840
- Yeah.
- Come on, guys.
782
00:43:13,924 --> 00:43:15,717
I'm serious, okay? I need help.
783
00:43:15,843 --> 00:43:16,968
Dude, you're gonna be fine.
784
00:43:17,011 --> 00:43:19,304
You've just got to get over
your fear of babies. They can smell fear.
785
00:43:19,847 --> 00:43:21,180
Like bears or wives.
786
00:43:21,265 --> 00:43:23,057
You need some practice.
Here, hold Henry for a second.
787
00:43:23,142 --> 00:43:24,350
- No, no, no, no, no!
- Do not do that.
788
00:43:24,435 --> 00:43:26,477
- Do not touch his baby!
- Shut up!
789
00:43:26,520 --> 00:43:28,563
That kid is a grenade, and he will go off.
790
00:43:28,647 --> 00:43:30,898
You know what, start with Evander here.
She never cries.
791
00:43:31,025 --> 00:43:32,150
No, I'm cool, thank you.
792
00:43:32,192 --> 00:43:34,569
She fell off the changing table last week,
didn't make a sound.
793
00:43:34,903 --> 00:43:37,113
You dropped your kid off a changing table?
794
00:43:37,781 --> 00:43:39,365
How was that even possible?
795
00:43:39,575 --> 00:43:40,658
It's very possible.
796
00:43:40,701 --> 00:43:43,703
It's much more common than you think.
But you know what? Rule number two...
797
00:43:43,787 --> 00:43:45,288
- We don't judge.
- No judging.
798
00:43:45,497 --> 00:43:49,000
Stuffjust happens, okay?
Last week my kid ate a cigarette.
799
00:43:49,043 --> 00:43:51,044
I caught him playing in the dryer yesterday.
800
00:43:51,086 --> 00:43:52,503
I picked up the wrong baby from day care.
801
00:43:52,546 --> 00:43:54,255
Found my baby swimming in the toilet.
802
00:43:54,340 --> 00:43:57,717
And for the record,
the roll-off did not happen on my watch.
803
00:43:57,760 --> 00:43:59,719
- Dodged a bullet.
- No judging.
804
00:43:59,803 --> 00:44:02,221
- Come on. Come on.
- No, really, that's okay.
805
00:44:02,306 --> 00:44:04,390
- Come on. Come on. Here you go!
- That's all right.
806
00:44:04,642 --> 00:44:06,100
Good catch.
807
00:44:07,978 --> 00:44:09,020
Take her back.
808
00:44:09,188 --> 00:44:10,229
Take her back!
809
00:44:10,481 --> 00:44:13,066
I hope that adoption agency
has a return policy.
810
00:44:13,150 --> 00:44:15,526
Big help, guys. Glad I came out.
811
00:44:16,362 --> 00:44:17,737
It's Davis!
812
00:44:18,864 --> 00:44:20,657
Davis! Davis! Davis!
813
00:44:20,741 --> 00:44:22,742
- Yeah, bro!
- D-Bone!
814
00:44:22,826 --> 00:44:23,910
- What is up?
- Boom.
815
00:44:23,994 --> 00:44:26,913
S'up fellas, kids, Jordan!
816
00:44:29,625 --> 00:44:31,626
Dude, this kid is like Mickey Rourke
in The Wrestler.
817
00:44:31,835 --> 00:44:35,254
I wish he was that well behaved.
He's more like Mickey Rourke in real life.
818
00:44:37,091 --> 00:44:38,299
So tall.
819
00:44:38,384 --> 00:44:39,926
- Been working out?
- Yeah.
820
00:44:39,968 --> 00:44:43,596
I missed out on high fives before.
I'll take one if you had a spare.
821
00:44:45,516 --> 00:44:47,308
- I got you, Craig.
- Thank you.
822
00:44:47,643 --> 00:44:49,852
- Sorry, Davis.
- All right, I'm out of here.
823
00:44:52,606 --> 00:44:54,065
Nice job, Craig.
824
00:45:19,800 --> 00:45:20,967
Kara, what time is it?
825
00:45:21,176 --> 00:45:23,553
I've got 20 minutes to make it
to the crib sale at Babies "R" Us.
826
00:45:24,096 --> 00:45:25,888
I've been totally cracking out on baby stuff.
827
00:45:26,098 --> 00:45:29,600
Sneaker-socks.
I've got my 2-in-1 swing rocker.
828
00:45:31,895 --> 00:45:34,063
What is with the face?
829
00:45:34,148 --> 00:45:36,482
Holly, I'm sorry to tell you this
830
00:45:37,025 --> 00:45:39,318
but we just had our budget meeting,
831
00:45:39,403 --> 00:45:41,487
and I don't know
that we're renewing your contract.
832
00:45:42,030 --> 00:45:45,992
I've got to cut down on all my freelancers.
You were the last one hired.
833
00:45:48,162 --> 00:45:50,079
Wait. But this is my main job.
834
00:45:51,832 --> 00:45:53,833
We're about to close on the house.
835
00:45:54,126 --> 00:45:58,796
I'm doing what I can to keep you,
but it just isn't looking good.
836
00:46:11,059 --> 00:46:12,268
Okay.
837
00:46:12,352 --> 00:46:13,895
- Don't hate me.
- No.
838
00:46:18,525 --> 00:46:20,109
Do me a favor?
839
00:46:21,111 --> 00:46:24,363
Don't tell Alex
until I can find something else. Okay?
840
00:46:24,948 --> 00:46:28,284
Okay.
841
00:46:28,535 --> 00:46:30,036
- I'm sorry.
- No.
842
00:46:31,705 --> 00:46:35,583
And reach! And push.
Okay now, break starfish formation.
843
00:46:35,667 --> 00:46:38,878
Let's get back in position.
I want opposite sets. Crunch it up.
844
00:46:38,921 --> 00:46:41,130
I want 10 of those on each side.
That's 20, people.
845
00:46:41,298 --> 00:46:43,841
And I need a minute.
And don't think I won't be watching you.
846
00:46:43,884 --> 00:46:45,009
Keep it moving.
847
00:46:45,636 --> 00:46:49,931
"I'm Not Circumcising My Baby."
Well done. Well done. Front page.
848
00:46:50,015 --> 00:46:53,392
Okay, look, I was gonna tell you.
I did not say this to them.
849
00:46:53,435 --> 00:46:56,729
They overheard our private conversation.
I would never talk to them about us.
850
00:46:56,855 --> 00:46:58,189
Why is this such a big deal to you?
851
00:46:58,232 --> 00:47:00,733
Because I don't think that it's right.
And I'm his mother.
852
00:47:00,818 --> 00:47:03,903
And I'm his father.
Parenthood is about compromise.
853
00:47:03,946 --> 00:47:05,780
- Well, then compromise, Evan.
- I have.
854
00:47:05,989 --> 00:47:08,866
I stay at your place.
We spend the holidays with your family.
855
00:47:09,076 --> 00:47:11,452
Yeah, but I have sacrificed
my entire body for this.
856
00:47:11,537 --> 00:47:13,246
So that means
you just get to win every argument?
857
00:47:13,330 --> 00:47:15,915
No, that means that in every relationship...
858
00:47:15,958 --> 00:47:18,417
What are you guys doing?
Come on! Pick it up!
859
00:47:19,670 --> 00:47:22,255
In every relationship,
there's an alpha and a beta.
860
00:47:22,339 --> 00:47:23,422
- And I'm the alpha.
- And I'm the alpha.
861
00:47:23,507 --> 00:47:25,550
- No, I'm the alpha. No, I am!
- No, I'm the alpha. No, I am!
862
00:47:25,592 --> 00:47:26,717
Jinx.
863
00:47:30,597 --> 00:47:33,766
You know, I'm just gonna
stay at my place tonight.
864
00:47:37,145 --> 00:47:40,565
Hey, Jules! If you're interested,
I never got snipped.
865
00:47:55,497 --> 00:47:57,290
Only one star
on the tango last week, Megan,
866
00:47:57,332 --> 00:47:59,083
but the samba's still to come.
How do you feel?
867
00:47:59,126 --> 00:48:01,168
I don't know.
I don't really care about the trophy.
868
00:48:01,253 --> 00:48:02,545
I'm here for Evan.
869
00:48:02,880 --> 00:48:04,463
Right, Papa-daddy?
870
00:48:04,506 --> 00:48:07,133
Evan has promised
he's gonna knock me up next.
871
00:48:07,301 --> 00:48:08,384
She's kidding, Jules.
872
00:48:08,468 --> 00:48:10,970
No, I'm not, Jules.
We're gonna be sister-wives!
873
00:48:11,597 --> 00:48:14,390
Evan's gonna drive us
to worship in his buggy.
874
00:48:23,150 --> 00:48:25,318
Why don't you take a break. I have this.
875
00:48:25,402 --> 00:48:26,944
Thanks.
876
00:48:37,748 --> 00:48:40,541
Okay E-invite, draft 38.
877
00:48:40,626 --> 00:48:41,667
Okay.
878
00:48:41,752 --> 00:48:46,005
"Let's shower Wendy and Gary Cooper
with light and love
879
00:48:46,048 --> 00:48:48,507
"to honor the arrival of their Mini Cooper."
880
00:48:48,550 --> 00:48:49,842
That's cute.
881
00:48:49,885 --> 00:48:54,055
And then I put a picture of a Mini Cooper
882
00:48:55,098 --> 00:48:56,223
at the end.
883
00:48:56,308 --> 00:48:57,350
Where did you get the picture?
884
00:48:57,392 --> 00:48:59,393
I stole it from the Internet.
885
00:49:01,521 --> 00:49:05,274
Wendy, shut your pregnant face.
You do not want to see this.
886
00:49:07,861 --> 00:49:11,322
It's okay. She's my mother-in-law-ish.
Shit, hi!
887
00:49:11,740 --> 00:49:13,157
Wendy, hi!
888
00:49:13,200 --> 00:49:15,284
Skyler, hi!
889
00:49:15,369 --> 00:49:16,494
Look at our bellies.
890
00:49:16,536 --> 00:49:19,205
We are like twins!
Except I'm actually having twins.
891
00:49:19,414 --> 00:49:24,251
You really love to remind me about that
every time. Hi.
892
00:49:24,544 --> 00:49:26,879
I just came by to personally invite y'all
to our baby shower.
893
00:49:27,297 --> 00:49:30,800
Wow, this is your shower invite.
894
00:49:31,843 --> 00:49:35,638
Look, I know that Ramsey and Gary have not
always gotten along so well
895
00:49:35,722 --> 00:49:37,264
but we are family. Okay?
896
00:49:37,349 --> 00:49:39,725
And it would just mean the world to me
if y'all came.
897
00:49:39,851 --> 00:49:43,062
Of course, Skyler. That's... You...
898
00:49:45,107 --> 00:49:46,148
Wow!
899
00:49:46,358 --> 00:49:47,483
What is it?
900
00:49:49,653 --> 00:49:52,738
It's Mini Coopers.
901
00:49:53,615 --> 00:49:54,657
Beep beep!
902
00:49:54,992 --> 00:49:57,368
Beep beep! Beep beep...
903
00:49:59,705 --> 00:50:02,915
You know, because there's two of them
and there's two in here, and they're pink.
904
00:50:03,083 --> 00:50:04,250
Yeah.
905
00:50:04,376 --> 00:50:07,044
So, Skyler, seven months.
How are you feeling?
906
00:50:07,587 --> 00:50:10,256
With the side effects, you know.
Because I know that
907
00:50:10,841 --> 00:50:14,010
at this point in the pregnancy, acne and
908
00:50:14,094 --> 00:50:17,805
bleeding gums, constipation,
it's all totally normal. Totally normal.
909
00:50:18,223 --> 00:50:21,183
When my sister was pregnant,
she got herpes.
910
00:50:21,518 --> 00:50:24,145
No, that's... She didn't get...
Not from being pregnant.
911
00:50:24,229 --> 00:50:26,939
No, I feel so whole.
912
00:50:27,274 --> 00:50:31,944
You know? And just feminine.
With all this life running through me.
913
00:50:32,029 --> 00:50:35,698
I felt the exact same way
when I had my phantom pregnancy.
914
00:50:37,451 --> 00:50:38,492
Don't pay attention to her.
915
00:50:38,952 --> 00:50:42,204
But, yeah, I mean, I just... It's beautiful.
916
00:50:42,289 --> 00:50:44,832
But what am I saying?
You know exactly what this is like.
917
00:50:45,125 --> 00:50:46,417
Totally.
918
00:50:46,793 --> 00:50:49,795
Well, I just came
to drop off that little invitation.
919
00:50:49,880 --> 00:50:51,672
And I'm gonna go to my pregger 'lates.
920
00:50:51,965 --> 00:50:53,966
Sounds pregger-ific.
921
00:50:54,718 --> 00:50:56,469
- All right, one more time.
- Bring it in.
922
00:50:56,511 --> 00:50:57,970
Okay. I'll see y'all there?
923
00:50:58,055 --> 00:51:00,639
- Yes, I will tell Gary.
- Okay. Thank you.
924
00:51:00,724 --> 00:51:02,183
- Yeah.
- Okay.
925
00:51:02,726 --> 00:51:04,477
Hey, Wendy,
do you mind if I take one of these?
926
00:51:04,561 --> 00:51:07,188
- What's that?
- Holly Castillo Photography.
927
00:51:07,272 --> 00:51:10,399
Ramsey's been on me about getting
one of these pregnancy portraits done, so...
928
00:51:10,650 --> 00:51:14,737
Well, Holly's the best,
so she'll make you look amazing-er.
929
00:51:15,030 --> 00:51:16,072
Bye.
930
00:51:16,323 --> 00:51:18,365
Bye. Bye.
931
00:51:18,992 --> 00:51:20,076
Bye!
932
00:51:21,286 --> 00:51:25,039
I mean, look at her. No cellulite.
Not even in daylight.
933
00:51:25,290 --> 00:51:26,999
She's wearing six-inch heels.
934
00:51:27,209 --> 00:51:29,919
God, she's like
a magical pregnancy unicorn.
935
00:51:30,003 --> 00:51:32,296
Gary is gonna shit a sideways brick
when he sees this.
936
00:51:34,466 --> 00:51:38,344
Hey, come on! We started Mini Cooper.
That's our thing.
937
00:51:38,845 --> 00:51:40,179
We own it, right?
938
00:51:40,263 --> 00:51:42,181
All right! Thank you.
Hey, a little heads up, America.
939
00:51:42,224 --> 00:51:43,808
- Do we have to watch this?
- Yes.
940
00:51:43,850 --> 00:51:46,769
While we send these four home to train
on their own before our live finale
941
00:51:46,853 --> 00:51:50,439
some of our previous seasons' contestants
are going to get a little surprise.
942
00:51:50,899 --> 00:51:53,275
That's right. I'm gonna be dropping in
on some of you guys
943
00:51:53,360 --> 00:51:56,237
to see how you're keeping the weight off.
You've been warned.
944
00:51:58,907 --> 00:52:01,492
They can't get someone else to fly around
and do these interviews?
945
00:52:01,743 --> 00:52:03,869
I don't like you traveling this late.
946
00:52:03,912 --> 00:52:06,497
Nobody's asking you to stop doing yourjob.
947
00:52:06,540 --> 00:52:08,541
Besides, these are my contestants, Evan.
948
00:52:08,583 --> 00:52:11,710
I was there when they lost the weight
and I want to be there for them now.
949
00:52:11,795 --> 00:52:15,673
You're pushing yourself too hard, Jules.
Especially at your age.
950
00:52:15,757 --> 00:52:19,218
Wow! Thanks. That's super-supportive.
I appreciate that.
951
00:52:19,261 --> 00:52:21,095
What, I'm not even
supposed to mention reality?
952
00:52:21,221 --> 00:52:26,142
I am healthy. I have a low blood pressure.
Not that you're helping me any.
953
00:52:26,226 --> 00:52:28,894
Look, I just think someone should
go with you and little Jackson there.
954
00:52:28,937 --> 00:52:30,688
Well, you know what, I have my crew,
955
00:52:30,772 --> 00:52:33,357
and you are welcome to leave your show
and come along.
956
00:52:33,441 --> 00:52:34,984
And we are not naming him Jackson.
957
00:52:35,068 --> 00:52:36,402
You liked it last week.
958
00:52:36,486 --> 00:52:39,780
Obviously you caught me
in a moment of weakness.
959
00:52:39,865 --> 00:52:42,408
Honestly, God, seriously, I sometimes think
960
00:52:42,534 --> 00:52:45,619
that it would just be so much easier
if I could do this on my own.
961
00:52:45,704 --> 00:52:47,830
Really? You think that?
962
00:52:49,124 --> 00:52:50,332
Come on.
963
00:52:50,417 --> 00:52:53,002
Evan, we danced on a show
for three months together
964
00:52:53,086 --> 00:52:55,546
and suddenly we're supposed to
agree on everything?
965
00:52:55,672 --> 00:52:58,465
Fine. Why don't you make every decision
about our child's entire life
966
00:52:58,550 --> 00:53:01,010
and just send me an email
when you've got it figured out.
967
00:53:10,854 --> 00:53:12,354
Why do you do that, Jules?
968
00:53:13,857 --> 00:53:17,109
I know you've been busting ass with work
and getting everything ready for the baby.
969
00:53:17,152 --> 00:53:18,402
- I just wanted to...
- Alex, about work.
970
00:53:18,445 --> 00:53:19,570
- There's something that came up...
- No, no!
971
00:53:19,613 --> 00:53:22,656
No shop talk tonight, all right?
972
00:53:22,741 --> 00:53:24,158
I just want to remind you
973
00:53:24,284 --> 00:53:27,578
that even though we're gonna be parents,
we can still kick it old school. All right?
974
00:53:27,621 --> 00:53:29,747
Alex and Holly style.
975
00:53:31,458 --> 00:53:34,293
Surprise!
976
00:53:35,212 --> 00:53:37,379
Happy Baby Shower, bitches!
977
00:53:41,801 --> 00:53:45,512
Might as well face it
You're addicted to love
978
00:53:46,473 --> 00:53:49,642
Listen to that. Someone call the cops.
They're murdering a song.
979
00:53:49,726 --> 00:53:50,935
- I know, it hurts.
- Literally.
980
00:53:50,977 --> 00:53:53,437
I love it when you call me Big Poppa
981
00:53:53,480 --> 00:53:56,649
Throw your hands in the air
If you're a true player
982
00:53:56,733 --> 00:53:58,943
I love it when you call me Big Poppa
983
00:53:59,152 --> 00:54:01,195
- We should have another baby.
- Oh, yeah!
984
00:54:01,279 --> 00:54:03,697
Come on, you gonna sweat that
weave out tonight.
985
00:54:03,823 --> 00:54:05,991
We got our twins.
Let's go for triplets, all right?
986
00:54:06,201 --> 00:54:08,661
No, no, no, that's baby juice!
987
00:54:12,832 --> 00:54:13,832
To us.
988
00:54:13,917 --> 00:54:15,584
To actually getting Rosie out of the house!
989
00:54:15,669 --> 00:54:17,920
In something other than
stained pajama pants.
990
00:54:34,354 --> 00:54:35,688
I'll be right back.
991
00:54:38,566 --> 00:54:41,068
Don't you want a baby?
992
00:54:42,737 --> 00:54:45,906
Don't you want one, ohhh!
993
00:54:48,702 --> 00:54:52,538
Oh, wow. It's 9:30, guys. It's 9:30.
We've got to go. Yeah, we got to go.
994
00:54:52,622 --> 00:54:53,706
- What?
- Come on!
995
00:54:53,748 --> 00:54:55,541
- We've got to go. It's 9:30.
- Come on, one more song.
996
00:54:55,625 --> 00:54:57,001
- Put your drink down! We're going.
- Not tonight!
997
00:54:57,043 --> 00:54:58,377
I'm gonna wait around front!
998
00:54:58,753 --> 00:55:00,879
Vic, don't go! Where are you going?
999
00:55:00,922 --> 00:55:02,965
If we're not back by 10:00,
the baby-sitter charges double.
1000
00:55:03,049 --> 00:55:04,466
- And steals shit.
- Come on!
1001
00:55:04,551 --> 00:55:06,260
- Who's your... What?
- You guys.
1002
00:55:06,344 --> 00:55:07,886
- Go home.
- No, stay.
1003
00:55:07,971 --> 00:55:11,056
Have sex. Because it's gonna be a while.
1004
00:55:11,099 --> 00:55:13,142
- Okay.
- You're driving.
1005
00:55:13,768 --> 00:55:15,519
Thanks, Ms. K. You done us up right.
1006
00:55:15,562 --> 00:55:18,772
Hey, no problem. It's the least I can do,
since Holly lost herjob.
1007
00:55:19,733 --> 00:55:20,774
What?
1008
00:55:22,610 --> 00:55:24,111
I'm sorry.
1009
00:55:25,405 --> 00:55:27,114
Baby shower!
1010
00:55:34,205 --> 00:55:35,414
Rosie!
1011
00:55:35,915 --> 00:55:37,416
Hey, Rosie?
1012
00:55:38,960 --> 00:55:40,419
Hey, stop!
1013
00:55:40,628 --> 00:55:43,047
Hey, Marco! I didn't see you.
1014
00:55:43,423 --> 00:55:45,591
That's bullshit. You looked right at me.
1015
00:55:47,135 --> 00:55:49,219
How you doing? You okay?
1016
00:55:49,929 --> 00:55:51,388
What are you doing here?
1017
00:55:51,556 --> 00:55:54,099
I'm just seeing my favorite band.
I asked how you were.
1018
00:55:59,939 --> 00:56:01,940
Sorry, I can't do this.
1019
00:56:03,276 --> 00:56:04,777
Rosie, I miss you.
1020
00:56:09,783 --> 00:56:11,617
Yeah, I miss me, too.
1021
00:56:13,661 --> 00:56:15,454
Well, I guess it just takes time.
1022
00:56:16,247 --> 00:56:18,791
Marco! What are you doing?
1023
00:56:22,796 --> 00:56:24,797
Really? How much time?
1024
00:56:25,757 --> 00:56:27,132
She's just a friend.
1025
00:56:31,846 --> 00:56:34,973
You lost your one steady gig
and you didn't even tell me.
1026
00:56:35,016 --> 00:56:36,934
- Are you kidding me?
- I know. I'm sorry.
1027
00:56:36,976 --> 00:56:38,310
I was just trying to get something else
1028
00:56:38,353 --> 00:56:39,770
- before you noticed.
- Right.
1029
00:56:39,813 --> 00:56:44,650
So it would be "Hey, I got some newjobs,"
and not "Holy shit, we can't afford our life."
1030
00:56:44,734 --> 00:56:47,027
You know, I know you've been
so worried about saving and the house...
1031
00:56:47,112 --> 00:56:48,695
Yeah, we're in this together.
1032
00:56:48,780 --> 00:56:50,989
Here I am,
trying to get ready for something that's...
1033
00:56:51,074 --> 00:56:52,157
Oh, my God!
1034
00:56:52,242 --> 00:56:53,951
- What?
- I knew it.
1035
00:56:53,993 --> 00:56:55,160
You're not even ready?
1036
00:56:55,245 --> 00:56:57,162
Look, I'm not like you, okay?
1037
00:56:57,205 --> 00:57:00,332
I can't just look at a picture
and feel some magical bond.
1038
00:57:00,375 --> 00:57:02,167
And you lying to me isn't helping.
1039
00:57:02,210 --> 00:57:05,337
- Look, I know, okay? I screwed up.
- Yeah. You did.
1040
00:57:07,507 --> 00:57:09,049
I just...
1041
00:57:11,177 --> 00:57:15,222
I just couldn't handle
another thing being my fault.
1042
00:57:16,349 --> 00:57:18,434
Okay? I'm the one with the bad eggs.
1043
00:57:18,852 --> 00:57:22,980
I'm the one who made us spend
the 401 K money on IVF.
1044
00:57:24,691 --> 00:57:29,695
And I'm the one who can't do the one thing
a woman is supposed to be able to do.
1045
00:57:29,863 --> 00:57:32,906
Holly, that's enough. Stop it.
1046
00:57:43,835 --> 00:57:45,961
You don't even want this, do you?
1047
00:57:46,713 --> 00:57:48,213
I never said that.
1048
00:57:49,382 --> 00:57:51,133
Not out loud.
1049
00:57:51,926 --> 00:57:53,802
I can't believe you didn't tell him.
1050
00:57:54,762 --> 00:57:56,972
You know what? Glass houses, Craig!
1051
00:57:57,724 --> 00:58:01,560
I know all about how you call your son
"Henry" when Kara's not around.
1052
00:58:01,644 --> 00:58:03,937
- Holly, let's go. Let's go.
- You what?
1053
00:58:04,606 --> 00:58:06,607
You don't like the name "Henri"?
1054
00:58:06,691 --> 00:58:11,361
That is such a bold-faced lie!
He's obviously joking!
1055
00:58:11,738 --> 00:58:13,322
Guess who's not getting any tonight?
1056
00:58:13,531 --> 00:58:14,573
First rule, Alex!
1057
00:58:15,033 --> 00:58:18,911
An obvious joke that Latins with their Latin,
spicy Latin sense of humor...
1058
00:58:19,037 --> 00:58:20,579
You've seen Univision. He was kidding.
1059
00:58:20,622 --> 00:58:22,915
When you look like him, you can have
1060
00:58:22,999 --> 00:58:25,417
- a spicy sense of humor, stupid! All right?
- Get in the car.
1061
00:58:25,460 --> 00:58:27,294
- He was obviously kidding.
- You get in the car!
1062
00:58:27,378 --> 00:58:29,087
Don't you talk to me like that!
1063
00:58:29,631 --> 00:58:31,507
Oh, my God, I am so sorry.
1064
00:58:31,591 --> 00:58:33,509
- Do not touch me.
- I love you so much.
1065
00:58:33,593 --> 00:58:35,969
- Shut up. I don't want to hear it.
- I love you so much.
1066
00:58:36,054 --> 00:58:37,513
Stop talking!
1067
00:58:40,266 --> 00:58:42,434
Okay, here we are in Atlanta, Georgia.
1068
00:58:42,519 --> 00:58:45,687
Home of one of the audience favorites
from Season 4.
1069
00:58:45,772 --> 00:58:47,189
Okay, we're popping in on him
1070
00:58:47,273 --> 00:58:49,942
and see how he's maintaining his weight
and healthy lifestyle.
1071
00:58:49,984 --> 00:58:51,401
Here we go.
1072
00:58:51,444 --> 00:58:52,945
Drop the pig, Gary Cooper!
1073
00:58:52,987 --> 00:58:54,279
- What?
- That's right.
1074
00:58:54,364 --> 00:58:55,906
Jules! Oh, my...
1075
00:58:55,949 --> 00:58:57,157
- It's a documentary?
- Hi!
1076
00:58:57,242 --> 00:58:59,535
- No. It's a real thing. It's live.
- What do we got there?
1077
00:58:59,619 --> 00:59:02,746
This isn't actually for me.
I was just picking this up for a friend.
1078
00:59:02,789 --> 00:59:04,915
Remember this guy? See that guy?
1079
00:59:05,250 --> 00:59:06,750
- You remember him?
- Oh, jeez.
1080
00:59:06,793 --> 00:59:08,794
This is a one-time thing. It's a treat.
1081
00:59:08,836 --> 00:59:10,546
That's what I thought you might say.
1082
00:59:10,630 --> 00:59:12,673
We've been doing a little recon on you.
1083
00:59:12,757 --> 00:59:14,967
- Nice sweater, by the way.
- Thank you.
1084
00:59:15,051 --> 00:59:17,219
My wife is pregnant, Jules, okay?
1085
00:59:17,303 --> 00:59:21,431
And you know, it's really common for guys
to put on a little weight as their wife does.
1086
00:59:21,474 --> 00:59:24,059
It's called "Couvade Syndrome"
or "Sympathetic Pregnancy."
1087
00:59:24,143 --> 00:59:26,019
No. It's called a crutch, Gary.
1088
00:59:26,104 --> 00:59:28,355
Come on. We need to deal with
what the real issue is.
1089
00:59:28,439 --> 00:59:31,400
You need to deal with it today,
not 100 pounds from now.
1090
00:59:31,484 --> 00:59:32,818
Do you wanna be this guy again?
1091
00:59:33,152 --> 00:59:34,236
Could we stop this, please?
1092
00:59:34,320 --> 00:59:36,029
Because you don't even understand
what I'm talking about.
1093
00:59:36,114 --> 00:59:38,657
- I don't understand?
- It's not an issue you have in your life.
1094
00:59:38,741 --> 00:59:40,492
- Stop it.
- Ever since I've had this belly
1095
00:59:40,785 --> 00:59:43,495
people think it's okay,
not just to have an opinion about me
1096
00:59:43,580 --> 00:59:45,831
but to have an opinion about my baby.
1097
00:59:45,873 --> 00:59:49,042
Seriously, in what world
is it okay for a complete stranger
1098
00:59:49,127 --> 00:59:52,004
to comment on my son's penis
before he's even born?
1099
00:59:52,589 --> 00:59:56,508
Jesus! Somebody, anybody,
please ask me what I'm craving.
1100
00:59:58,177 --> 00:59:59,261
What are you craving?
1101
00:59:59,679 --> 01:00:01,305
That looks pretty good.
1102
01:00:01,514 --> 01:00:03,307
They are really good.
1103
01:00:03,349 --> 01:00:04,641
They're not good for you,
but they're really good.
1104
01:00:05,351 --> 01:00:08,186
Okay, we can cut that part out.
Are we still rolling? We good?
1105
01:00:08,313 --> 01:00:09,521
We good? Okay, here we go.
1106
01:00:09,564 --> 01:00:13,108
We are gonna deal with this issue, Gary,
in a very healthy way.
1107
01:00:13,192 --> 01:00:15,736
- Okay
- I wanna hear you say, "I can do it!"
1108
01:00:15,820 --> 01:00:17,362
- Just like you did in Season 4.
- Okay.
1109
01:00:17,405 --> 01:00:19,656
- I wanna hear it. Say it! "I can do it!"
- I can do it!
1110
01:00:19,699 --> 01:00:21,199
- I can do it! I can do it!
- I can do it!
1111
01:00:21,242 --> 01:00:23,368
- You and I are gonna do it together, Gary.
- Okay!
1112
01:00:23,411 --> 01:00:25,329
You and I, here we go.
We're gonna do lunges. Ready?
1113
01:00:25,371 --> 01:00:28,540
And I want it deep, to the knee,
and squeeze back up.
1114
01:00:28,583 --> 01:00:29,666
One more. Come on in.
1115
01:00:29,876 --> 01:00:31,043
Let's go.
1116
01:00:32,003 --> 01:00:34,504
- Jules! Oh, my God! Are you okay?
- Oh, my God!
1117
01:00:34,714 --> 01:00:37,007
- Are you okay?
- No! I'm okay. Oh, my God!
1118
01:00:37,216 --> 01:00:39,843
- Gary. Someone's gotta call 9-1 -1.
- Okay, yeah.
1119
01:00:39,927 --> 01:00:40,969
Oh, God! No!
1120
01:00:49,062 --> 01:00:50,062
What's up, guys?
1121
01:00:52,690 --> 01:00:56,234
Guys! Hey! Whoa, whoa! Wait up.
1122
01:00:56,402 --> 01:00:58,904
Freeze! Don't take another step!
1123
01:00:59,530 --> 01:01:03,075
You told your wife
Craig likes to call Henri "Henry"?
1124
01:01:03,326 --> 01:01:06,870
- She did not take it well.
- Okay, my bad, my bad. I'm sorry.
1125
01:01:07,080 --> 01:01:09,706
We're here to let off a little steam.
Not break up families.
1126
01:01:10,375 --> 01:01:14,211
Craig shouldn't have to see his kids only
on weekends 'cause you got a big mouth.
1127
01:01:14,253 --> 01:01:16,421
Hey, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking.
1128
01:01:16,464 --> 01:01:17,798
Darn right you weren't thinking.
1129
01:01:18,466 --> 01:01:21,218
You wanna adopt? Adopt some new friends.
1130
01:01:21,427 --> 01:01:23,136
Come on, guys. Really?
1131
01:01:23,388 --> 01:01:24,930
Unbelievable!
1132
01:01:27,600 --> 01:01:29,726
Craig! Come on, Craig!
1133
01:01:29,811 --> 01:01:32,479
Hey, don't think
that I won't punch you in the neck
1134
01:01:32,563 --> 01:01:33,897
just 'cause I have an infant strapped to me.
1135
01:01:33,940 --> 01:01:37,776
- I still have full range of motion.
- Look, I'm in crisis here. All right?
1136
01:01:39,445 --> 01:01:41,613
We had to pull out of the house.
1137
01:01:41,656 --> 01:01:44,783
Now Holly won't even talk to me.
She thinks I don't want the baby.
1138
01:01:44,992 --> 01:01:46,284
Well, do you?
1139
01:01:46,786 --> 01:01:47,994
Yeah.
1140
01:01:48,329 --> 01:01:49,496
Really?
1141
01:01:52,083 --> 01:01:54,459
Okay, I don't know. I don't know.
1142
01:01:54,961 --> 01:01:58,964
I mean, you said
this is where happiness goes to die.
1143
01:01:59,090 --> 01:02:00,549
Henry cries if you touch him.
1144
01:02:01,634 --> 01:02:03,969
You found your kid in the toilet, right?
1145
01:02:04,721 --> 01:02:07,764
Jordan is a spaz.
1146
01:02:10,268 --> 01:02:11,893
You're the spaz.
1147
01:02:12,145 --> 01:02:15,564
You just don't get it. We love being dads.
1148
01:02:16,065 --> 01:02:19,484
When I was young,
I used to think I was so happy.
1149
01:02:19,819 --> 01:02:22,154
But now, I know I'm happy.
1150
01:02:22,655 --> 01:02:24,531
Exhausted
1151
01:02:24,615 --> 01:02:26,450
but happy.
1152
01:02:26,492 --> 01:02:28,660
I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.
1153
01:02:28,828 --> 01:02:32,414
Yeah. You don't know true love
till you've wiped someone's butt.
1154
01:02:33,416 --> 01:02:34,750
Look at me, man.
1155
01:02:35,001 --> 01:02:39,004
I love my baby so much,
I worry I'm gonna eat him.
1156
01:02:41,090 --> 01:02:45,093
I am a lackluster husband
but an above-average dad.
1157
01:02:46,512 --> 01:02:48,180
You gotta figure it out, bro.
1158
01:02:48,431 --> 01:02:50,348
You're on your own.
1159
01:02:52,143 --> 01:02:53,185
Burn!
1160
01:02:54,937 --> 01:02:57,939
That's it? What about the "no judging" rule?
1161
01:02:58,524 --> 01:03:01,026
'Cause I'm feeling a little judged right now.
1162
01:03:02,111 --> 01:03:04,029
You broke the code, bro.
1163
01:03:04,864 --> 01:03:06,156
Yeah! Go do your pull-ups!
1164
01:03:08,367 --> 01:03:11,912
Davis! Davis!
1165
01:03:12,455 --> 01:03:14,372
The hospital said I could fly pretty soon.
1166
01:03:14,832 --> 01:03:15,874
Nice try.
1167
01:03:16,167 --> 01:03:19,586
You need to stay in bed so we can keep
your contractions under control.
1168
01:03:19,670 --> 01:03:21,922
- You're having this baby in Atlanta.
- You don't understand.
1169
01:03:22,006 --> 01:03:24,508
I have to get back to L.A.
I have to finish my show.
1170
01:03:24,550 --> 01:03:27,385
And what?
Have your water break at 30,000 feet?
1171
01:03:27,804 --> 01:03:29,554
I climbed Everest, okay?
1172
01:03:29,889 --> 01:03:33,225
I'm pretty confident I can keep this baby in
until I get home.
1173
01:03:33,267 --> 01:03:35,060
I can do that, okay? I can do it.
1174
01:03:35,561 --> 01:03:38,480
No. You can't. You need to stay in bed.
1175
01:03:38,689 --> 01:03:40,565
Honestly, you don't have a choice.
1176
01:03:41,901 --> 01:03:45,195
Now who can you call
to come take care of you?
1177
01:03:47,156 --> 01:03:50,325
Gary, honey, slow down!
You're practically sprinting!
1178
01:03:50,785 --> 01:03:52,160
Okay. Okay.
1179
01:03:53,704 --> 01:03:55,205
Squeaks, are you sure you feel all right?
1180
01:03:55,248 --> 01:03:56,915
Quit asking me! I'm great!
1181
01:03:57,416 --> 01:04:00,418
Oh, my...
Sweet bird of paradise, what is that smell?
1182
01:04:01,087 --> 01:04:02,295
Is that you?
1183
01:04:02,380 --> 01:04:05,549
If you must know it's the baby.
1184
01:04:05,675 --> 01:04:09,261
The baby has gas, okay?
The poor little thing can't help itself.
1185
01:04:09,428 --> 01:04:11,847
- Kinda smelt like you, actually.
- Don't talk about our baby like that!
1186
01:04:11,931 --> 01:04:13,181
- Hi.
- Hi.
1187
01:04:13,766 --> 01:04:15,767
- Wow, thank you!
- Thank you.
1188
01:04:20,439 --> 01:04:22,274
The baby just peed itself a little.
1189
01:04:24,235 --> 01:04:28,280
Are you sure that speaking at the Kids Expo
next week is the best idea?
1190
01:04:28,364 --> 01:04:30,448
I need support!
1191
01:04:30,533 --> 01:04:33,702
Hey! Look who made it!
1192
01:04:34,328 --> 01:04:37,455
Come on back!
These girls have got it goin' on back there!
1193
01:04:37,540 --> 01:04:40,333
You too, Gar. Come on!
Your mom's gonna be glad to see you.
1194
01:04:40,418 --> 01:04:43,795
Still not my mom. She was born in '86.
1195
01:04:45,131 --> 01:04:46,631
All right.
1196
01:04:57,810 --> 01:05:00,979
- Kickin' ass, J.B.
- Wendy! Come here, girl!
1197
01:05:01,022 --> 01:05:02,647
Foot massages and henna tats!
1198
01:05:02,690 --> 01:05:04,316
Neat!
1199
01:05:05,484 --> 01:05:08,987
Hey, you sure it's not Wendy
who's having the twins?
1200
01:05:09,030 --> 01:05:10,447
Dad.
1201
01:05:10,489 --> 01:05:15,160
Son, you gotta learn to lighten up,
or it's gonna be a hell of a long day.
1202
01:05:15,494 --> 01:05:18,246
Oh, my gosh!
1203
01:05:23,294 --> 01:05:24,920
- Hey, Gary.
- Hey.
1204
01:05:25,004 --> 01:05:27,464
We saw you on that Lose it and Weep show.
1205
01:05:27,506 --> 01:05:30,342
My wife and I cried every pound you lost.
1206
01:05:30,384 --> 01:05:33,386
- Don't you gain it back.
- Yeah, yeah. I'm working on it.
1207
01:05:33,512 --> 01:05:36,514
- Here you go, pal. Drink up.
- No, thanks. I'm good.
1208
01:05:36,599 --> 01:05:38,975
So, what is it like
to be the son of a racing legend?
1209
01:05:39,018 --> 01:05:41,061
- Yeah!
- Do you ever get on the track with that guy?
1210
01:05:41,145 --> 01:05:42,312
One time.
1211
01:05:42,355 --> 01:05:45,523
The Great Go-Kart Beatdown of 1989.
1212
01:05:46,233 --> 01:05:48,735
- Dad, they don't wanna hear about this.
- Yeah, we do.
1213
01:05:48,819 --> 01:05:50,028
I won.
1214
01:05:50,112 --> 01:05:51,446
He cheated. He cheated.
1215
01:05:51,530 --> 01:05:54,866
No. It was just an exercise
in gamesmanship.
1216
01:05:54,909 --> 01:05:56,952
And beatdownsmanship.
1217
01:05:57,036 --> 01:05:58,703
Yeah, you win again, Dad.
1218
01:05:58,788 --> 01:06:02,207
Hey, where are you going?
You can't walk away from a fresh margarita!
1219
01:06:02,333 --> 01:06:04,042
I'm not supposed to drink my calories, Dad!
1220
01:06:04,126 --> 01:06:06,503
We can always make it a Skinny Girl!
1221
01:06:07,630 --> 01:06:08,672
He's great.
1222
01:06:09,215 --> 01:06:11,341
He's a great kid, isn't he?
1223
01:06:14,011 --> 01:06:15,303
Ramsey Cooper.
1224
01:06:15,805 --> 01:06:17,639
I will not have my son treated like that.
1225
01:06:18,099 --> 01:06:19,265
Put your drink down,
1226
01:06:19,684 --> 01:06:22,644
get your ass out there
and fix what needs fixing.
1227
01:06:22,853 --> 01:06:25,605
We were just having a little fun.
I'm just trying to toughen him up.
1228
01:06:26,023 --> 01:06:29,067
He needs to heal, okay?
And you need to listen. I mean it, Ram Bam.
1229
01:06:29,151 --> 01:06:33,238
I will not have these babies come into this
world when there is strife in our family.
1230
01:06:33,280 --> 01:06:34,322
Now go.
1231
01:06:34,740 --> 01:06:36,366
Put your drink down.
1232
01:06:38,411 --> 01:06:39,452
And go.
1233
01:06:39,704 --> 01:06:41,287
Okay, Tater Tot.
1234
01:06:46,544 --> 01:06:49,754
It's okay. Just 'cause you have a bad dad
doesn't mean you're gonna be a bad dad.
1235
01:06:50,089 --> 01:06:52,590
You will not ridicule, you will not compete.
1236
01:06:52,675 --> 01:06:54,342
I will not compete!
1237
01:06:54,427 --> 01:06:55,927
Are you talking to yourself again?
1238
01:06:56,012 --> 01:06:59,180
I need some alone time, Dad.
Need some alone time.
1239
01:06:59,473 --> 01:07:01,099
I will not compete!
1240
01:07:03,769 --> 01:07:05,437
You can't get rid of me that easy.
1241
01:07:05,521 --> 01:07:08,440
- Oh, God! Dad, I'm not racing.
- Neither am I.
1242
01:07:08,858 --> 01:07:10,483
I'm not falling for that trick.
1243
01:07:10,693 --> 01:07:12,610
Just get it off your chest, son.
1244
01:07:12,820 --> 01:07:14,946
I'm sick of competing with you, okay?
1245
01:07:14,989 --> 01:07:16,906
That's it. Just keep going. I'm listening.
1246
01:07:17,074 --> 01:07:19,993
- You named me Gary Cooper, for chrissake!
- Get it all out.
1247
01:07:20,119 --> 01:07:23,455
You're the reason I got fat!
You are the reason I got fat!
1248
01:07:23,497 --> 01:07:27,083
Whoa, ouch! That hurt. Slow down. Stop.
1249
01:07:29,754 --> 01:07:31,212
Really?
1250
01:07:37,636 --> 01:07:41,806
I guess I've been kind of a shit sandwich
in the old Dad department, huh?
1251
01:07:44,060 --> 01:07:47,437
I saw every episode
of your Lose it season.
1252
01:07:47,646 --> 01:07:51,149
I have the whole thing on DVD, Blu-ray.
1253
01:07:52,693 --> 01:07:54,444
And sometimes,
1254
01:07:54,487 --> 01:07:59,157
I stay up at night and I watch it
over and over again.
1255
01:08:00,242 --> 01:08:01,993
Really?
1256
01:08:02,078 --> 01:08:03,244
Yeah.
1257
01:08:04,872 --> 01:08:06,623
This is hard for me.
1258
01:08:07,666 --> 01:08:10,794
But there's something
that I really wanna tell you.
1259
01:08:11,295 --> 01:08:12,796
Okay, Dad.
1260
01:08:14,381 --> 01:08:16,341
Beat me home
and we never have to race again!
1261
01:08:16,425 --> 01:08:18,009
God damn it!
1262
01:08:18,052 --> 01:08:21,596
This is not good parenting!
I'm gonna beat you!
1263
01:08:22,681 --> 01:08:23,973
This is so ridiculous!
1264
01:08:25,392 --> 01:08:28,061
- Hey, Bob! Hey, Dave!
- Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
1265
01:08:28,270 --> 01:08:29,521
Sorry!
1266
01:08:29,647 --> 01:08:31,272
Where you going? Narnia?
1267
01:08:31,482 --> 01:08:34,526
You wanna go crazy? Let's go crazy!
1268
01:08:37,363 --> 01:08:39,114
Now that's the Cooper spirit!
1269
01:08:39,198 --> 01:08:40,406
Yes.
1270
01:08:42,118 --> 01:08:43,618
- Rubbing is racing!
- Hey!
1271
01:08:44,161 --> 01:08:46,121
Here's a little love tap for you.
1272
01:08:47,623 --> 01:08:48,915
You're still cheating!
1273
01:08:48,999 --> 01:08:51,042
Get ready! Here comes the checkered flag!
1274
01:08:51,210 --> 01:08:53,253
Stop it!
1275
01:08:53,337 --> 01:08:55,088
There's only one número uno, son.
1276
01:08:55,297 --> 01:08:56,798
I'm not número dos!
1277
01:08:56,882 --> 01:08:57,882
Toe-to-toe!
1278
01:09:33,502 --> 01:09:34,711
I won!
1279
01:09:39,216 --> 01:09:40,967
He wasted Margaritaville.
1280
01:09:41,051 --> 01:09:42,552
He won!
1281
01:09:45,306 --> 01:09:46,973
Yeah!
1282
01:09:51,979 --> 01:09:54,022
Your daddy's such a good dancer.
1283
01:09:59,904 --> 01:10:01,029
Hello?
1284
01:10:01,822 --> 01:10:03,865
- Hello.
- Oh, my God!
1285
01:10:03,949 --> 01:10:06,242
What are you doing here?
You're supposed to be on the show!
1286
01:10:06,285 --> 01:10:08,203
- Megan and I got kicked off.
- Oh, my God.
1287
01:10:10,623 --> 01:10:11,789
Watch this. Watch this.
1288
01:10:13,667 --> 01:10:16,169
Oh, God! Oh, my God!
1289
01:10:16,712 --> 01:10:18,379
You threw your samba for me.
1290
01:10:18,464 --> 01:10:21,382
The judges called it a "national disaster."
1291
01:10:21,467 --> 01:10:24,135
I don't want anyone else
taking care of you.
1292
01:10:24,178 --> 01:10:25,511
That's my job.
1293
01:10:28,515 --> 01:10:31,643
Okay, look. You were right, okay? You win...
1294
01:10:31,727 --> 01:10:34,437
Jules, I don't wanna be right.
I don't wanna win.
1295
01:10:35,814 --> 01:10:39,484
I just want you and our baby safe. Okay?
1296
01:10:41,820 --> 01:10:45,073
That was actually, like,
a national disaster right there.
1297
01:10:48,577 --> 01:10:53,998
Daddy's here.
1298
01:10:55,000 --> 01:10:58,294
I'm gonna give you the one,
but it's not for the right reasons.
1299
01:10:59,004 --> 01:11:00,672
See you tomorrow.
1300
01:11:09,056 --> 01:11:11,015
If you want me to go, I'll go.
1301
01:11:13,102 --> 01:11:14,143
What happened to your hand?
1302
01:11:14,186 --> 01:11:17,105
Look. I want you to know that I get it.
1303
01:11:17,189 --> 01:11:19,190
I'll probably never really understand
what you went through.
1304
01:11:19,650 --> 01:11:21,859
But I don't want that to be the reason
we're not together.
1305
01:11:22,528 --> 01:11:25,530
You were right,
I never even took you out on a real date.
1306
01:11:26,782 --> 01:11:28,032
But I want to.
1307
01:11:30,995 --> 01:11:32,036
I made these for you.
1308
01:11:32,913 --> 01:11:34,622
Caramels.
1309
01:11:34,707 --> 01:11:36,207
Piece-of-shit double boiler.
1310
01:11:38,919 --> 01:11:40,128
I thought you said never again.
1311
01:11:40,963 --> 01:11:42,797
Well, I made an exception.
1312
01:11:47,678 --> 01:11:49,012
Marco, the reason we're not together
1313
01:11:49,054 --> 01:11:50,972
has nothing to do with the fact
we were gonna have a baby.
1314
01:11:51,056 --> 01:11:52,515
It wouldn't have worked anyway.
1315
01:11:52,558 --> 01:11:55,810
That's bullshit, Rosie.
Give me one good reason.
1316
01:11:56,395 --> 01:11:58,688
Okay, you don't have a car.
1317
01:11:59,106 --> 01:12:02,233
What? Says the girl
with the duct-taped Civic.
1318
01:12:02,735 --> 01:12:05,194
- Seriously?
- Fine. It's not the car.
1319
01:12:05,237 --> 01:12:08,114
- You got me.
- Then what, Rosie? What?
1320
01:12:08,198 --> 01:12:10,325
'Cause we were great.
1321
01:12:11,869 --> 01:12:13,953
You know, you have the worst taste in girls.
1322
01:12:14,038 --> 01:12:18,458
You go for the most obvious,
least-interesting chef groupies ever.
1323
01:12:18,542 --> 01:12:20,084
What does that say about me
if that's what you're into?
1324
01:12:20,169 --> 01:12:22,712
Well, they can't all be you, now can they?
1325
01:12:23,547 --> 01:12:25,423
- You wanna know what it is?
- Yeah.
1326
01:12:26,383 --> 01:12:30,428
Every time I look at your face, it kills me.
Is that enough of a reason?
1327
01:12:31,096 --> 01:12:33,473
Can we be done
with this conversation, please?
1328
01:12:35,100 --> 01:12:37,393
Yeah. We can be done.
1329
01:12:37,978 --> 01:12:39,437
Here.
1330
01:12:40,939 --> 01:12:44,525
No. I don't even like caramels.
Just keep them. Take them.
1331
01:12:56,121 --> 01:12:58,498
- Holly, thank you for coming.
- Sure.
1332
01:12:58,624 --> 01:13:00,917
- I can't wait to see this.
- It's a little big.
1333
01:13:00,959 --> 01:13:03,836
- Well, you know we wanted it big.
- I know.
1334
01:13:05,130 --> 01:13:06,798
All right, let's see it.
1335
01:13:06,840 --> 01:13:10,051
You might wanna wait
till you get home to open it, I think.
1336
01:13:10,302 --> 01:13:11,636
No, I wanna see it right here.
1337
01:13:12,679 --> 01:13:13,971
Okay.
1338
01:13:15,849 --> 01:13:18,476
I did it exactly how you want.
1339
01:13:21,939 --> 01:13:23,648
I love it! I love it!
1340
01:13:23,690 --> 01:13:26,067
- You do? Good.
- I love it!
1341
01:13:27,319 --> 01:13:28,611
Holly!
1342
01:13:29,321 --> 01:13:30,988
And when you come back from Africa
1343
01:13:31,073 --> 01:13:34,283
I'm gonna get you to take a picture of
these twins, and my stepson's baby.
1344
01:13:34,326 --> 01:13:36,577
I mean,
you are gonna be our family photographer!
1345
01:13:37,704 --> 01:13:38,955
Hey!
1346
01:13:39,498 --> 01:13:40,873
I felt a kick in there!
1347
01:13:42,376 --> 01:13:44,669
I'm gonna cover this up for you.
1348
01:13:45,379 --> 01:13:46,462
Do you wanna feel?
1349
01:13:51,218 --> 01:13:52,260
Sure.
1350
01:13:53,137 --> 01:13:55,346
It's two in there, yeah?
1351
01:14:02,020 --> 01:14:04,147
- Do you feel that?
- Yeah.
1352
01:14:08,360 --> 01:14:10,319
It really is a miracle, isn't it?
1353
01:14:44,021 --> 01:14:47,023
- Wendy! There you are!
- Hi, here I am.
1354
01:14:47,065 --> 01:14:51,486
And looking so fantastic!
We are so glad you agreed to speak.
1355
01:14:51,570 --> 01:14:55,198
Hello, there! Aren't you just loving it?
1356
01:14:55,282 --> 01:14:57,909
Experiencing everything for yourself?
1357
01:14:57,993 --> 01:15:00,912
You must be ecstatic,
every second of every day.
1358
01:15:00,954 --> 01:15:04,165
Every day, every second, totally ecstatic.
1359
01:15:07,503 --> 01:15:08,586
Hey, Wendy.
1360
01:15:09,296 --> 01:15:12,882
We have to get some of these for the store.
It tastes like real nipple.
1361
01:15:12,925 --> 01:15:15,009
Janice, I don't think I can do this.
1362
01:15:15,093 --> 01:15:18,429
I mean, I can't go out there
and just act like everything's peachy.
1363
01:15:18,555 --> 01:15:20,097
I really feel like crap.
1364
01:15:20,390 --> 01:15:21,807
It's so hot.
1365
01:15:22,059 --> 01:15:24,560
You can do it.
Just put one cankle in front of the other.
1366
01:15:25,145 --> 01:15:28,147
Get out there and tell the truth
and share your wisdom.
1367
01:15:28,398 --> 01:15:31,275
Janice, I just peed myself.
1368
01:15:31,443 --> 01:15:33,319
- That's natural.
- No, Janice.
1369
01:15:35,447 --> 01:15:37,281
Like a lot.
1370
01:15:37,783 --> 01:15:41,118
And now, please welcome
our keynote speaker,
1371
01:15:41,161 --> 01:15:43,955
Wendy Cooper of The Breast Choice!
1372
01:15:53,382 --> 01:15:55,591
Hi. That's me, here?
1373
01:15:55,634 --> 01:15:57,385
Okay.
1374
01:15:57,469 --> 01:15:59,053
I sit here. Okay.
1375
01:16:02,641 --> 01:16:03,724
Janice?
1376
01:16:03,809 --> 01:16:06,143
- Janice? Sweetie?
- What?
1377
01:16:06,311 --> 01:16:08,104
Get my speech. Get my speech.
1378
01:16:08,355 --> 01:16:10,398
- In my pocket!
- What?
1379
01:16:11,775 --> 01:16:13,317
Sorry.
1380
01:16:16,280 --> 01:16:17,822
- Okay.
- My God.
1381
01:16:18,490 --> 01:16:19,615
- Okay.
- Hi there.
1382
01:16:19,658 --> 01:16:22,201
What's this liquid on my butt?
1383
01:16:22,828 --> 01:16:24,704
No. Don't. Okay, thank you.
1384
01:16:24,788 --> 01:16:26,330
Maybe I just
1385
01:16:27,374 --> 01:16:30,751
- peed myself 'cause I'm pregnant.
- No. No.
1386
01:16:31,253 --> 01:16:32,295
- No.
- Yeah.
1387
01:16:32,337 --> 01:16:36,299
And that's why I go to The Breast Choice
for all my pregnancy needs.
1388
01:16:36,633 --> 01:16:38,050
Thank you, Janice.
1389
01:16:38,135 --> 01:16:39,510
Okay.
1390
01:16:40,053 --> 01:16:41,679
- Over to Wendy.
- Yep.
1391
01:16:41,888 --> 01:16:44,223
- Tell them about your glow.
- Thank you, Janice.
1392
01:16:46,685 --> 01:16:50,980
The magical, happy miracle,
experiencing pregnancy.
1393
01:16:53,817 --> 01:16:58,404
Pregnancy's glow is made
from two scoops of angel kisses.
1394
01:16:59,698 --> 01:17:04,160
It begins when you feel the first...
1395
01:17:06,496 --> 01:17:08,080
Sorry.
1396
01:17:08,999 --> 01:17:11,375
Hormones! Right?
1397
01:17:13,503 --> 01:17:16,589
I just find myself crying all the time.
1398
01:17:20,010 --> 01:17:22,053
Okay, you know what? The truth...
1399
01:17:23,263 --> 01:17:24,722
The truth is...
1400
01:17:27,017 --> 01:17:30,394
I can't think with this thing on.
I'm sorry. I am so uncomfortable.
1401
01:17:30,562 --> 01:17:34,273
I don't even recognize my body anymore,
you know?
1402
01:17:34,358 --> 01:17:37,193
It's like I could fit 20 of my old bras
1403
01:17:37,235 --> 01:17:41,072
into this one giant piece
of Granny spandex that's just...
1404
01:17:43,241 --> 01:17:44,575
Okay.
1405
01:17:44,660 --> 01:17:46,035
Thank you.
1406
01:17:46,078 --> 01:17:48,496
- Should we all take off our bras?
- I think we're good.
1407
01:17:48,580 --> 01:17:51,165
- It's a bit small.
- No. Please don't.
1408
01:17:51,583 --> 01:17:54,210
I'm sorry.
I didn't think about any of this stuff
1409
01:17:54,419 --> 01:17:57,755
before I got pregnant.
1410
01:17:59,591 --> 01:18:01,175
I just wanted the glow.
1411
01:18:02,803 --> 01:18:07,598
The one they promise you on the cover
of those magazines, with the pretty lady
1412
01:18:08,809 --> 01:18:13,270
looking down at her perfectly round belly
with that sweet smile.
1413
01:18:15,732 --> 01:18:17,817
Well, I'm calling it.
1414
01:18:19,486 --> 01:18:20,861
I'm calling bullshit.
1415
01:18:22,072 --> 01:18:25,950
I'm calling bullshit on the whole thing.
Pregnancy sucks.
1416
01:18:25,992 --> 01:18:29,286
Making a human being is really hard.
1417
01:18:29,329 --> 01:18:32,123
I have no control over my body
or my emotions.
1418
01:18:32,165 --> 01:18:33,791
Gar Bear. I'm sorry.
1419
01:18:34,084 --> 01:18:36,460
All I wanna do is punch you in the face
1420
01:18:36,503 --> 01:18:38,379
but I love you so much so I don't mean it.
1421
01:18:38,463 --> 01:18:41,465
I love you too, Squeaks. You're doing great.
1422
01:18:42,134 --> 01:18:45,970
I don't know about you
but I didn't get the glow. I got bacne
1423
01:18:46,471 --> 01:18:50,266
and hemorrhoids.
Have you ever seen those?
1424
01:18:50,308 --> 01:18:52,017
Don't do it. Don't take the mirror down there.
1425
01:18:52,519 --> 01:18:56,313
And then I have these
purple stretch marks everywhere.
1426
01:18:56,857 --> 01:19:00,025
And pressure hanging from my uterus
1427
01:19:00,110 --> 01:19:03,446
that makes me walk like
I was kicked in the vag. I just...
1428
01:19:04,948 --> 01:19:07,616
Okay. Maybe it's time to stop there.
1429
01:19:08,160 --> 01:19:09,869
- Too far.
- That's the end.
1430
01:19:09,953 --> 01:19:12,037
I couldn't think of another way
to describe it.
1431
01:19:12,289 --> 01:19:13,831
That was really good.
1432
01:19:14,624 --> 01:19:15,958
- So...
- There we go.
1433
01:19:16,334 --> 01:19:17,668
Thank you.
1434
01:19:19,838 --> 01:19:22,673
They say when it's all over
1435
01:19:23,842 --> 01:19:25,676
you forget the whole thing.
1436
01:19:26,845 --> 01:19:28,846
I, for one, really hope that's true.
1437
01:19:31,850 --> 01:19:35,478
Like that. I really hope I forget that.
1438
01:19:35,520 --> 01:19:37,813
Wendy Cooper, everybody.
1439
01:19:40,400 --> 01:19:41,776
...hanging from my uterus
1440
01:19:41,860 --> 01:19:44,820
that makes me walk like
I was kicked in the...
1441
01:19:44,863 --> 01:19:47,323
No. I don't think you went too far at all.
1442
01:19:47,365 --> 01:19:49,617
Seriously. No one's even gonna see this.
1443
01:19:49,868 --> 01:19:51,702
This is gonna ruin my business.
1444
01:19:51,995 --> 01:19:54,580
This is all gonna blow over.
1445
01:19:54,831 --> 01:19:58,417
It's not a big deal at all for sure.
1446
01:19:59,503 --> 01:20:01,003
Oh, God.
1447
01:20:01,671 --> 01:20:03,714
Gar. No.
1448
01:20:03,882 --> 01:20:06,967
It's a mob. It's a mob, Gar.
Look at them, they look angry.
1449
01:20:07,052 --> 01:20:09,094
- Hold your head high.
- I can't.
1450
01:20:09,387 --> 01:20:11,055
Just prop it on your boobs then.
1451
01:20:12,140 --> 01:20:13,974
Oh, no. I'm gonna have to go into hiding.
1452
01:20:15,435 --> 01:20:16,519
Janice.
1453
01:20:17,145 --> 01:20:18,896
- Oh, my gosh.
- Wendy.
1454
01:20:18,980 --> 01:20:22,024
Look, you got more hits
than that cow dancing video.
1455
01:20:22,108 --> 01:20:23,442
Two million!
1456
01:20:23,735 --> 01:20:25,319
Hormones, hormones
1457
01:20:25,403 --> 01:20:26,987
Punch you in the face
punch you in the face
1458
01:20:27,072 --> 01:20:28,656
All I want to do is punch you in the face
1459
01:20:28,740 --> 01:20:30,032
I just got bacne
1460
01:20:30,116 --> 01:20:31,992
Calling bullshit on the whole thing
1461
01:20:32,077 --> 01:20:33,160
Pregnancy sucks
1462
01:20:35,205 --> 01:20:36,914
All right, okay.
1463
01:20:36,998 --> 01:20:40,125
I'm coming. Just hold on to your va-jay-jays!
1464
01:20:40,252 --> 01:20:41,585
It's pretty good.
1465
01:20:41,628 --> 01:20:42,837
Yeah, Wendy is here.
1466
01:20:43,338 --> 01:20:47,049
Welcome to the workplace of Wendy Cooper,
the star of Internet.
1467
01:20:47,634 --> 01:20:49,343
- Wow, nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
1468
01:20:49,636 --> 01:20:51,804
We're definitely gonna need
more nipple cream.
1469
01:20:55,892 --> 01:20:57,434
Wendy touched this.
1470
01:20:59,271 --> 01:21:00,604
Forty dollars.
1471
01:21:02,190 --> 01:21:03,399
All right, thank you.
1472
01:21:29,551 --> 01:21:30,926
Alex, Holly!
1473
01:21:30,969 --> 01:21:32,970
- Yes.
- Right this way.
1474
01:21:33,763 --> 01:21:35,222
Welcome to Ethiopia.
1475
01:21:35,473 --> 01:21:36,807
Thank you. Thank you so much.
1476
01:21:36,892 --> 01:21:38,809
- Are you excited?
- We're so excited.
1477
01:21:39,227 --> 01:21:41,186
Good, good. Is this your first time?
1478
01:21:41,271 --> 01:21:42,605
Yes. Yours?
1479
01:21:42,647 --> 01:21:43,731
Fifth.
1480
01:21:43,940 --> 01:21:44,982
Awesome.
1481
01:21:45,025 --> 01:21:48,652
All right then. Everybody gather up
your things, here we go. Follow me.
1482
01:21:49,029 --> 01:21:50,195
Right this way.
1483
01:21:50,655 --> 01:21:54,325
I will rip this baby out myself.
I swear to God, you'll see me on the news.
1484
01:21:54,409 --> 01:21:57,244
You want this baby on time?
Try walking. That helps sometimes.
1485
01:21:57,329 --> 01:21:58,662
Walking.
1486
01:22:00,040 --> 01:22:04,877
And amazingly, even Kara is calling him
Henry now. So I owe Alex big-time.
1487
01:22:05,378 --> 01:22:07,963
I hear you, I respect you,
1488
01:22:08,006 --> 01:22:10,424
- and I will take it under consideration.
- Thank you.
1489
01:22:10,675 --> 01:22:12,051
You're very welcome.
1490
01:22:12,886 --> 01:22:14,386
Look who we've got here.
1491
01:22:14,679 --> 01:22:16,347
Trying to get that labor started, huh?
1492
01:22:16,556 --> 01:22:17,848
You have no idea.
1493
01:22:17,933 --> 01:22:20,142
Try having sex. That's the really fun part.
1494
01:22:20,185 --> 01:22:23,062
We're here every Saturday, bro.
Tweak the nipples.
1495
01:22:23,355 --> 01:22:25,022
- Okay. Sounds good.
- Guys, look!
1496
01:22:25,523 --> 01:22:29,318
Davis! Davis!
1497
01:22:29,361 --> 01:22:30,778
Hey, wait! I got it. I got it.
1498
01:22:30,862 --> 01:22:32,112
- Vic, we've got to talk.
- What's up?
1499
01:22:32,364 --> 01:22:34,031
Hey, no pull-ups, man?
Are you sick or something?
1500
01:22:34,115 --> 01:22:35,366
What's wrong, D-Bone?
You always do your pull-ups.
1501
01:22:35,575 --> 01:22:36,867
Remember the girl from Australia?
1502
01:22:36,952 --> 01:22:40,496
I remember her well.
Excellent photos, Davis. Slutty, but artful.
1503
01:22:40,538 --> 01:22:41,705
Yeah, well...
1504
01:22:41,915 --> 01:22:44,458
Whoa! What is that?
1505
01:22:44,709 --> 01:22:46,251
Is that... Is she yours?
1506
01:22:46,795 --> 01:22:48,045
Yeah.
1507
01:22:48,129 --> 01:22:50,756
Her name's Ruby and they're moving here.
1508
01:22:50,840 --> 01:22:51,882
Vic, you've got to help me, man.
1509
01:22:51,967 --> 01:22:53,425
I don't know the first thing about
being a dad.
1510
01:22:53,718 --> 01:22:56,220
Fellows, say hello to our newest member.
1511
01:22:57,222 --> 01:22:58,722
- Yes!
- Let's walk, Davis.
1512
01:23:00,058 --> 01:23:03,227
I don't walk. I run.
1513
01:23:03,520 --> 01:23:06,355
Not anymore, bro. Not anymore.
1514
01:23:06,398 --> 01:23:08,232
Jordan! Get out of those bushes!
1515
01:23:12,237 --> 01:23:15,531
Davis, we are very,
very psyched to have you.
1516
01:23:15,573 --> 01:23:16,991
So psyched! Bam!
1517
01:23:17,075 --> 01:23:18,325
Don't ever touch me again.
1518
01:23:18,410 --> 01:23:20,744
Craig, stop creeping Davis out.
1519
01:23:36,720 --> 01:23:38,345
Sure you got everything ready?
1520
01:23:38,805 --> 01:23:40,305
Yes.
1521
01:23:50,608 --> 01:23:52,192
What are you doing?
1522
01:23:52,277 --> 01:23:54,945
I'm just making sure, that's all.
1523
01:24:01,327 --> 01:24:04,246
I'm just... Don't, okay?
I'm just trying to get ready.
1524
01:24:04,289 --> 01:24:06,457
I know. So am I.
1525
01:24:10,462 --> 01:24:12,880
It's not that I'm not ready. I'm just...
1526
01:24:15,133 --> 01:24:16,592
I'm scared.
1527
01:24:21,181 --> 01:24:24,641
I know, honey.
1528
01:24:24,726 --> 01:24:26,435
I'm scared, too.
1529
01:24:27,604 --> 01:24:29,146
I don't know what the hell I'm doing.
1530
01:24:32,317 --> 01:24:35,944
But we can be scared together.
We just have to jump in. All in.
1531
01:24:36,029 --> 01:24:37,863
I know. I'm getting there.
1532
01:24:38,323 --> 01:24:39,907
Okay? And...
1533
01:24:42,827 --> 01:24:44,953
And I know I'm gonna love him.
1534
01:24:45,997 --> 01:24:48,123
Because I love the hell out of his mom.
1535
01:24:56,216 --> 01:24:58,133
Let's go meet our son.
1536
01:25:00,512 --> 01:25:02,012
Okay.
1537
01:25:07,685 --> 01:25:11,355
Welcome back to our live
Lose it and Weep finale.
1538
01:25:11,439 --> 01:25:13,857
We're just moments away
from finding out who our big,
1539
01:25:13,942 --> 01:25:16,985
or shall I say "small" winner is.
1540
01:25:19,364 --> 01:25:20,864
Oh, my God. I'm already crying.
1541
01:25:21,324 --> 01:25:22,533
They look amazing.
1542
01:25:22,867 --> 01:25:24,368
I'd totally let that one do me.
1543
01:25:24,410 --> 01:25:26,161
Now, before we get down to business,
1544
01:25:26,204 --> 01:25:28,539
we have a little surprise for you guys.
Take a look.
1545
01:25:29,582 --> 01:25:30,707
Hey, guys.
1546
01:25:30,750 --> 01:25:32,334
Hi, Jules!
1547
01:25:32,627 --> 01:25:33,836
I'm sorry I can't be there.
1548
01:25:33,920 --> 01:25:36,797
I just want to congratulate you all
on working so hard.
1549
01:25:37,382 --> 01:25:39,049
And forget about what
the scale says tonight.
1550
01:25:39,134 --> 01:25:40,759
You're all winners.
1551
01:25:43,555 --> 01:25:45,264
Son-of-a-bitch!
1552
01:25:46,724 --> 01:25:48,225
Jules, we're live.
1553
01:25:49,561 --> 01:25:50,727
Fuck!
1554
01:25:52,689 --> 01:25:53,814
Still live.
1555
01:25:53,898 --> 01:25:55,315
The censors are gonna love that.
1556
01:25:55,942 --> 01:25:58,569
Hey, that reminds me.
How you doing there, Tater Tot?
1557
01:26:00,113 --> 01:26:02,364
Contractions about 17 minutes apart,
Ram Bam.
1558
01:26:02,407 --> 01:26:03,949
Because we can leave any time.
1559
01:26:04,033 --> 01:26:07,202
I'm just trying to catch the part with Gary,
but I can always record it.
1560
01:26:07,245 --> 01:26:09,079
No, baby! It's fine. I can wait.
1561
01:26:09,122 --> 01:26:10,414
Okay, then.
1562
01:26:11,040 --> 01:26:12,416
Gary, come on!
1563
01:26:12,500 --> 01:26:15,586
Yes, yes. I just cannot find my keys.
That's all I have to do.
1564
01:26:15,920 --> 01:26:17,588
Hey! Look at this. I've got them.
1565
01:26:17,630 --> 01:26:19,590
Honey, do you have your driver's license?
1566
01:26:19,924 --> 01:26:21,842
- Because I don't have my driver's license.
- Gar!
1567
01:26:22,051 --> 01:26:24,720
Calm the ef down and get the effing car.
1568
01:26:29,684 --> 01:26:32,269
Shitballs, man! Slow down!
1569
01:26:32,645 --> 01:26:34,897
- Sweetie, I just hate to see you like this...
- Red light!
1570
01:26:35,356 --> 01:26:36,690
Big Pig!
1571
01:26:40,445 --> 01:26:44,239
Jesus, Gar! Keep your eyes on the road,
you worthless piece of shit!
1572
01:26:44,282 --> 01:26:46,033
Sorry, baby, I love you.
You know I do, right?
1573
01:26:46,492 --> 01:26:48,076
I love you, too.
1574
01:26:49,495 --> 01:26:51,955
- Watch the tail.
- I'm watching the tail!
1575
01:26:53,166 --> 01:26:54,666
Oh, my God!
1576
01:26:55,210 --> 01:26:57,085
- My foot! My foot!
- Are you okay? Is it broken?
1577
01:26:57,921 --> 01:26:58,962
Don't be such a baby.
1578
01:26:59,130 --> 01:27:00,422
Just pull into any of these spots.
1579
01:27:00,465 --> 01:27:03,133
- Right here. Any of these spots.
- Which one?
1580
01:27:03,176 --> 01:27:04,218
Good. Perfect.
1581
01:27:07,013 --> 01:27:08,055
Don't touch!
1582
01:27:08,848 --> 01:27:11,683
Whoa! The floor's a little wet.
They've got to do something about that.
1583
01:27:11,893 --> 01:27:13,310
That's my water, you idiot.
1584
01:27:14,270 --> 01:27:15,562
You're doing great, hon.
1585
01:27:17,315 --> 01:27:19,566
Man! Why did you do that?
1586
01:27:20,443 --> 01:27:24,196
Stop! Here comes another one.
Here comes another one.
1587
01:27:26,574 --> 01:27:29,159
Where's the valet?
I don't see a valet around here.
1588
01:27:32,789 --> 01:27:35,415
- Wow. Are we moving?
- Yes.
1589
01:27:35,750 --> 01:27:37,751
- Babe, did you press the button?
- Yes.
1590
01:27:41,923 --> 01:27:43,257
You're doing great.
1591
01:27:43,633 --> 01:27:45,384
Baby, watch out, the floor's wet.
1592
01:27:46,594 --> 01:27:48,303
What the hell is that?
1593
01:27:50,765 --> 01:27:51,807
We're here, Jules.
1594
01:27:51,891 --> 01:27:54,726
I don't care about his penis.
Who gives a shit?
1595
01:27:55,311 --> 01:27:57,312
We're having a baby!
1596
01:27:57,897 --> 01:27:59,606
- Okay, okay, good.
- The Baby Center.
1597
01:27:59,691 --> 01:28:00,816
The Baby Center. So we're in the right place.
1598
01:28:00,858 --> 01:28:01,858
- Hi.
- Hi.
1599
01:28:01,943 --> 01:28:02,943
- We're the Coopers.
- Hi.
1600
01:28:03,027 --> 01:28:04,027
- We pre-registered.
- Yeah.
1601
01:28:04,070 --> 01:28:05,112
Okay. Got you.
1602
01:28:05,196 --> 01:28:07,322
- I've got my birth plan!
- Aren't you organized.
1603
01:28:08,074 --> 01:28:09,116
Skyler Cooper.
1604
01:28:09,325 --> 01:28:11,660
- Another Cooper?
- We reserved a deluxe suite.
1605
01:28:11,869 --> 01:28:12,911
And this is your father?
1606
01:28:13,121 --> 01:28:14,621
He's my husband.
1607
01:28:14,831 --> 01:28:17,040
Sorry. Husband. Great.
1608
01:28:17,250 --> 01:28:18,375
We're having a baby.
1609
01:28:18,626 --> 01:28:19,876
I know you.
1610
01:28:20,378 --> 01:28:21,378
I can do it!
1611
01:28:21,421 --> 01:28:24,548
That's it. With your help,
I've lost eight pounds.
1612
01:28:24,924 --> 01:28:26,383
Can you help me do the same?
1613
01:28:26,801 --> 01:28:28,719
Do you happen to have
a room service menu?
1614
01:28:28,803 --> 01:28:30,846
On a scale of 1 to 10,
how is your pain right now?
1615
01:28:31,806 --> 01:28:32,806
Two.
1616
01:28:32,890 --> 01:28:34,516
All right. Tough girl.
1617
01:28:35,310 --> 01:28:36,351
Maybe a three.
1618
01:28:37,395 --> 01:28:39,688
Was that a contraction? I barely even felt it.
1619
01:28:39,897 --> 01:28:42,941
Sure was. What's your pain level,
on a scale of 1 to 10?
1620
01:28:44,152 --> 01:28:47,070
Like a zero to a one.
Because I'm smiling, we're smiling.
1621
01:28:47,280 --> 01:28:49,197
You're number one, baby.
1622
01:28:50,199 --> 01:28:51,742
Okay, who wants to have a baby?
1623
01:28:51,826 --> 01:28:53,410
Where the hell have you been?
1624
01:28:53,453 --> 01:28:56,246
Okay, let's talk pain.
On a scale of 1 to 10, what do you feel?
1625
01:28:57,582 --> 01:28:58,915
What are you, I think, maybe a six?
1626
01:28:59,000 --> 01:29:01,710
What? I'm an eight! Frown, no tears. Eight.
1627
01:29:01,753 --> 01:29:02,961
Are you getting an epidural?
1628
01:29:03,046 --> 01:29:05,172
Do I look like somebody
who wants to drug my baby?
1629
01:29:05,256 --> 01:29:06,590
Are y'all planning an epidural?
1630
01:29:06,924 --> 01:29:09,426
- I don't know. I guess we'll see how it goes.
- Whatever.
1631
01:29:09,552 --> 01:29:10,886
So do you want an epidural?
1632
01:29:10,928 --> 01:29:12,888
Hell, no. Let's do this.
1633
01:29:13,097 --> 01:29:14,097
That's right.
1634
01:29:15,058 --> 01:29:16,725
- Here comes another one.
- Okay, breathe.
1635
01:29:28,863 --> 01:29:30,781
- Gar?
- Yeah?
1636
01:29:31,449 --> 01:29:34,576
I changed my mind. I want the epidural.
I want it, Gary.
1637
01:29:34,619 --> 01:29:36,661
No, no, honey. No, no, no.
You said you didn't want it
1638
01:29:36,746 --> 01:29:40,248
and you said that even if you did ask for it,
that would just be the crazy talking...
1639
01:29:40,291 --> 01:29:42,793
Gary! Get me the juice!
1640
01:29:42,835 --> 01:29:45,337
That seemed a little crazy.
I will get you the juice.
1641
01:29:45,421 --> 01:29:46,797
I need it, Gar.
1642
01:29:46,881 --> 01:29:49,466
I'm sorry, baby.
Just don't come back without it, okay?
1643
01:29:49,509 --> 01:29:50,759
- No anchovies on that, right?
- Hey, Dad!
1644
01:29:50,802 --> 01:29:53,261
Hey, son! Hey, you, too?
1645
01:29:53,304 --> 01:29:54,679
It's not a race, Dad.
1646
01:29:55,431 --> 01:29:56,640
That's my son.
1647
01:29:56,682 --> 01:29:58,308
Hey! Are you the anesthesiologist?
1648
01:29:58,476 --> 01:29:59,476
- Yes, sir.
- Okay.
1649
01:29:59,560 --> 01:30:01,311
My wife changed her mind.
She needs the epidural right now.
1650
01:30:01,396 --> 01:30:03,480
I've got five women in front of her.
It's gonna be a little while.
1651
01:30:03,564 --> 01:30:04,981
No, no, no, no. That's not okay.
She's in pain.
1652
01:30:05,066 --> 01:30:06,149
Everybody's in pain.
1653
01:30:06,192 --> 01:30:09,194
Okay, hold on. Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
1654
01:30:09,278 --> 01:30:10,779
- Wait, wait! Wait!
- Really?
1655
01:30:12,698 --> 01:30:13,865
- Dad! Dad!
- Yeah?
1656
01:30:13,950 --> 01:30:15,450
I need your money roll.
I need your money roll.
1657
01:30:15,493 --> 01:30:17,327
Sure. How much you need?
1658
01:30:17,370 --> 01:30:19,329
Yeah. Okay.
1659
01:30:21,666 --> 01:30:23,291
The crazy lady in 408 is next.
1660
01:30:23,501 --> 01:30:24,835
She most certainly is, sir.
1661
01:30:25,128 --> 01:30:29,798
You're gonna feel a little bit of pressure
in one or both legs. That's normal.
1662
01:30:30,133 --> 01:30:32,050
You are so clutch, baby.
1663
01:30:32,635 --> 01:30:34,136
So clutch.
1664
01:30:34,804 --> 01:30:36,721
You're at eight centimeters.
1665
01:30:37,682 --> 01:30:39,683
- Two more! I can push!
- Two more.
1666
01:30:40,059 --> 01:30:41,476
Nine centimeters.
1667
01:30:41,519 --> 01:30:42,644
Great!
1668
01:30:42,687 --> 01:30:44,146
What is that in inches?
1669
01:30:45,148 --> 01:30:47,399
You're at ten centimeters,
but the baby's not coming.
1670
01:30:47,650 --> 01:30:49,860
We need to prepare for a C-Section.
1671
01:30:49,902 --> 01:30:51,945
No, no, no, no. I have a birth plan.
1672
01:30:52,029 --> 01:30:53,029
Yeah, we...
1673
01:30:53,114 --> 01:30:54,448
I want to push. I want to push.
1674
01:30:54,657 --> 01:30:57,534
I know, Wendy, but the baby's heart rate
is falling. We need to move now.
1675
01:30:57,743 --> 01:30:58,785
It's going to be okay.
1676
01:30:59,162 --> 01:31:03,039
But I typed it. It's typed.
The birth plan, it's ready to go.
1677
01:31:03,124 --> 01:31:05,917
I'm ready to push. I wanna push.
Please, I wanna push.
1678
01:31:06,502 --> 01:31:07,544
Please?
1679
01:31:08,504 --> 01:31:10,881
So, Jules, you've been doing well.
Let's take a look, all right?
1680
01:31:12,633 --> 01:31:14,509
Okay. Let's do this.
1681
01:31:14,886 --> 01:31:15,969
Push.
1682
01:31:17,430 --> 01:31:18,638
Here we go.
1683
01:31:18,890 --> 01:31:20,474
- Let's do it.
- Say "I can do it."
1684
01:31:20,558 --> 01:31:21,600
- Push.
- I can do it.
1685
01:31:21,684 --> 01:31:22,726
Say "I can do it."
1686
01:31:22,768 --> 01:31:24,186
- I can do it!
- Come on, Jules. Yeah!
1687
01:31:24,228 --> 01:31:27,439
I can do... No, I can't do this!
1688
01:31:30,485 --> 01:31:31,610
Okay, Skyler.
1689
01:31:32,069 --> 01:31:34,779
You're doing great, Tater Tot.
Just hang in there.
1690
01:31:34,864 --> 01:31:38,408
Bear down and give it all you've got.
Ready?
1691
01:31:38,784 --> 01:31:40,535
Okay, hang on. I have to sneeze.
1692
01:31:45,500 --> 01:31:47,167
Wow. That's one baby out.
1693
01:31:47,251 --> 01:31:49,211
One down, one to go.
1694
01:31:57,345 --> 01:31:58,678
You did this to me!
1695
01:31:59,722 --> 01:32:02,390
That pig is wearing flippers.
1696
01:32:06,020 --> 01:32:07,103
Clamps.
1697
01:32:08,272 --> 01:32:10,106
I love morphine.
1698
01:32:11,692 --> 01:32:13,818
Don't you love morphine, Gar?
1699
01:32:14,028 --> 01:32:15,070
Yeah.
1700
01:32:15,363 --> 01:32:17,614
We should get some for the house.
1701
01:32:18,282 --> 01:32:19,407
Okay.
1702
01:32:19,951 --> 01:32:21,952
That's good. That's good. Almost there.
1703
01:32:22,370 --> 01:32:25,497
You're doing great, Squeaks.
This guy's got a real steady hand.
1704
01:32:27,124 --> 01:32:28,291
- You're fine.
- Yeah.
1705
01:32:33,047 --> 01:32:34,089
Here he is.
1706
01:32:40,680 --> 01:32:41,888
Congratulations.
1707
01:32:42,598 --> 01:32:44,432
Congratulations, Daddy.
1708
01:32:47,478 --> 01:32:48,937
Okay, Jules. This is it. Are you ready?
1709
01:32:49,272 --> 01:32:52,274
All right. I need you to bear down and push.
All right? Here we go.
1710
01:32:52,316 --> 01:32:53,692
- Okay.
- Push! Push! Push!
1711
01:32:53,776 --> 01:32:55,110
Come on, Jules. You can do it.
1712
01:32:55,319 --> 01:32:57,445
All right. All right.
1713
01:32:57,488 --> 01:32:58,738
I see his head, Jules.
1714
01:32:59,949 --> 01:33:01,449
- Give me one more giant push, all right?
- He's beautiful.
1715
01:33:01,534 --> 01:33:03,952
I need the shoulders out. And push!
1716
01:33:07,290 --> 01:33:08,623
That's good. That's good.
1717
01:33:11,043 --> 01:33:12,043
All right.
1718
01:33:12,587 --> 01:33:15,088
And it's a girl!
1719
01:33:17,633 --> 01:33:18,842
It's a girl!
1720
01:33:22,805 --> 01:33:24,723
- A girl's good. I like girls.
- It's a girl.
1721
01:33:28,811 --> 01:33:31,062
There she is. Hi.
1722
01:33:36,360 --> 01:33:39,195
Hi, baby girl.
1723
01:33:40,114 --> 01:33:42,991
Hello, Emerson. I'm your mommy.
1724
01:33:44,285 --> 01:33:45,619
Emerson is cute, right?
1725
01:33:45,828 --> 01:33:47,329
Emerson. I love it.
1726
01:33:54,962 --> 01:33:56,713
Jules, I knew you could do it.
1727
01:33:58,633 --> 01:33:59,966
Thank you.
1728
01:34:00,968 --> 01:34:02,010
Hi.
1729
01:34:04,347 --> 01:34:06,264
Hi, sweetheart.
1730
01:34:09,185 --> 01:34:13,772
Squeaks, say hi to little Theo.
1731
01:34:15,483 --> 01:34:18,443
Say hi to Mama. Can you say hi to Mama?
1732
01:34:19,362 --> 01:34:22,947
Say hi to Mama. Yeah, that's Mama's finger.
1733
01:34:24,408 --> 01:34:26,076
- Wendy? Hey, guys.
- We need more suction here.
1734
01:34:26,118 --> 01:34:27,118
We're getting some high blood pressure.
1735
01:34:27,203 --> 01:34:28,244
Is she supposed to be falling asleep?
1736
01:34:28,287 --> 01:34:29,287
Wendy?
1737
01:34:29,372 --> 01:34:30,872
- A lot of bleeding here.
- Hey! What is going on?
1738
01:34:30,915 --> 01:34:33,458
Okay, Mr. Cooper.
Mr. Cooper, I think you need to step out.
1739
01:34:33,542 --> 01:34:35,877
We have everything under control in here.
It's okay. Come with me.
1740
01:34:35,920 --> 01:34:38,630
Wendy, are you gonna be all right? Wendy?
1741
01:34:45,638 --> 01:34:46,763
Hey.
1742
01:34:46,972 --> 01:34:48,598
- Hey.
- You've got doctor clothes on.
1743
01:34:48,683 --> 01:34:49,766
Yeah.
1744
01:34:50,976 --> 01:34:52,227
Everything okay?
1745
01:34:52,436 --> 01:34:53,770
We have a son.
1746
01:34:54,397 --> 01:34:56,272
But Wendy lost a lot of blood in there
1747
01:34:56,315 --> 01:34:58,274
so they made me wait out here.
1748
01:34:58,359 --> 01:35:01,152
So I don't know what's going on inside.
1749
01:35:01,237 --> 01:35:03,947
'Cause they made me wait out here.
1750
01:35:04,865 --> 01:35:06,199
It's gonna be okay.
1751
01:35:07,243 --> 01:35:09,619
I'm here for you. All right?
1752
01:35:09,704 --> 01:35:11,121
Thanks, Dad.
1753
01:35:23,092 --> 01:35:24,092
Here they come.
1754
01:35:47,575 --> 01:35:52,537
I promise to watch over this child.
1755
01:35:55,291 --> 01:36:01,588
And to bring him up proud and strong.
1756
01:36:09,096 --> 01:36:18,146
And as one who will always remember
his Ethiopian heritage.
1757
01:36:20,065 --> 01:36:23,151
So help me God.
1758
01:36:23,360 --> 01:36:24,694
Amen.
1759
01:36:29,074 --> 01:36:30,533
Hi.
1760
01:36:31,243 --> 01:36:34,370
There we go, there we are.
1761
01:36:35,706 --> 01:36:38,708
I've been waiting for you!
1762
01:36:38,793 --> 01:36:41,044
Congratulations. You are parents.
1763
01:37:17,331 --> 01:37:19,541
Mr. Cooper? She's awake.
1764
01:37:25,422 --> 01:37:28,049
Name, "Emerson Jane Webber."
1765
01:37:29,134 --> 01:37:30,426
No.
1766
01:37:31,303 --> 01:37:34,556
- Baxter-Webber.
- I hate hyphenated names.
1767
01:37:35,641 --> 01:37:38,685
Are we ever going to agree on anything?
1768
01:37:39,562 --> 01:37:43,439
The little stuff, probably not.
The big stuff? Yes.
1769
01:37:43,941 --> 01:37:45,817
I can live with that.
1770
01:37:46,652 --> 01:37:47,694
Me, too.
1771
01:37:49,905 --> 01:37:51,114
Marry me.
1772
01:37:51,574 --> 01:37:53,157
No.
1773
01:37:54,451 --> 01:37:55,660
I'm just kidding.
1774
01:37:57,580 --> 01:37:59,247
I thought you'd never ask.
1775
01:38:05,337 --> 01:38:07,547
- Is that okay with you, too?
- Is that all right with you?
1776
01:38:07,631 --> 01:38:09,507
Yeah? Yeah?
1777
01:38:12,177 --> 01:38:14,304
Way to go, Tater Tot.
1778
01:38:17,349 --> 01:38:19,309
Hi, little Theo.
1779
01:38:20,644 --> 01:38:22,520
Hi, little guy.
1780
01:38:24,064 --> 01:38:27,817
Gary, he's so beautiful.
1781
01:38:28,694 --> 01:38:32,906
Look at his little nose
and his perfect little lips.
1782
01:38:32,990 --> 01:38:37,201
And he's so wise.
Can't you tell? He's so wise.
1783
01:38:39,246 --> 01:38:43,082
That was the scariest night of my life.
It was awful.
1784
01:38:44,001 --> 01:38:45,084
No.
1785
01:38:45,878 --> 01:38:47,420
It was beautiful.
1786
01:38:48,672 --> 01:38:51,674
It was so incredibly beautiful.
1787
01:38:52,593 --> 01:38:55,720
Yeah. That's what I meant.
1788
01:38:55,930 --> 01:38:58,848
It was incredibly beautiful.
1789
01:39:00,017 --> 01:39:01,893
I finally found it.
1790
01:39:04,021 --> 01:39:06,230
He's my glow.
1791
01:39:09,193 --> 01:39:12,445
He's my perfect, perfect glow.
1792
01:39:30,381 --> 01:39:32,048
- Feeling all right, Susie?
- Shut up.
1793
01:39:32,091 --> 01:39:33,174
Marco?
1794
01:39:33,550 --> 01:39:34,592
Rosie, hey.
1795
01:39:34,802 --> 01:39:36,761
Hey. What are you guys doing here?
1796
01:39:37,054 --> 01:39:38,554
Dip-shit ran over my toe.
1797
01:39:39,682 --> 01:39:40,765
Oh, my God!
1798
01:39:41,558 --> 01:39:43,726
That is... I'm sorry.
1799
01:39:43,769 --> 01:39:47,355
No, that's okay. It's funny. Now.
1800
01:39:47,606 --> 01:39:49,190
I'll meet you in the truck, man.
1801
01:39:49,400 --> 01:39:51,275
- I'm really sorry.
- Okay.
1802
01:39:51,527 --> 01:39:54,404
- What are you doing here?
- My cousin,
1803
01:39:54,613 --> 01:39:57,156
the one married to that old...
The racecar dude.
1804
01:39:57,241 --> 01:39:59,951
- Oh, yeah.
- She had her babies, she had twins.
1805
01:40:00,202 --> 01:40:02,578
- Nice. Congratulations. That's great.
- Thanks.
1806
01:40:03,914 --> 01:40:05,289
I was gonna go see them.
1807
01:40:07,126 --> 01:40:08,418
Do you wanna?
1808
01:40:09,086 --> 01:40:11,713
- What?
- I don't know if that's weird.
1809
01:40:11,922 --> 01:40:13,756
It's a little weird,
1810
01:40:14,800 --> 01:40:16,592
but, yeah, I'd love to.
1811
01:40:22,307 --> 01:40:23,599
You okay?
1812
01:40:24,101 --> 01:40:27,311
Yeah. I'll have another chance
when the time's right.
1813
01:40:27,813 --> 01:40:28,896
You will.
1814
01:40:31,942 --> 01:40:34,068
Those caramels were delicious, by the way.
1815
01:40:34,278 --> 01:40:36,612
The car-mels were really good,
weren't they?
1816
01:40:36,655 --> 01:40:37,905
- Car-mels?
- Yeah.
1817
01:40:38,407 --> 01:40:40,491
Caramels. What is wrong with you?
1818
01:40:42,119 --> 01:40:45,038
That's one good-looking kid you got there,
Dr. Cooper.
1819
01:40:45,247 --> 01:40:46,414
Thanks. You, too.
1820
01:40:46,457 --> 01:40:48,833
When you were born,
I wasn't even in the room.
1821
01:40:48,959 --> 01:40:50,460
Back then, no dad was.
1822
01:40:50,753 --> 01:40:52,920
Yeah. Maybe that was a good thing though.
1823
01:40:53,297 --> 01:40:55,631
I don't know. I missed a lot.
1824
01:40:56,467 --> 01:40:59,302
End of the day, family's all that matters.
1825
01:40:59,553 --> 01:41:02,263
Not the races, and the trophies,
and the endorsements.
1826
01:41:02,306 --> 01:41:06,476
Not the money and the women,
and the sex, and the drugs.
1827
01:41:07,978 --> 01:41:11,981
Partying with Jimmy Buffett
on the back of Willie Nelson's bus.
1828
01:41:14,109 --> 01:41:17,320
None of that means jack shit when I'm gone.
1829
01:41:17,821 --> 01:41:20,490
But you guys. My kids,
1830
01:41:21,158 --> 01:41:23,659
that's all we really leave behind.
1831
01:41:33,170 --> 01:41:36,839
Say, "Mommy." Say, "Mama."
132490
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