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1
00:00:02,770 --> 00:00:04,572
Woody harrelson:
"Cheers" is filmed
Before a live studio audience.
2
00:00:04,572 --> 00:00:06,607
Here you go.
3
00:00:06,607 --> 00:00:09,310
Thanks. Say, aren't
You sam malone?
4
00:00:09,310 --> 00:00:10,811
Guilty as charged.
5
00:00:10,811 --> 00:00:12,080
Small world.
6
00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:15,549
Marge thornhill here.
Don't you remember me?
7
00:00:15,549 --> 00:00:18,552
Boy, you know, I can't
Quite place the face.
8
00:00:18,552 --> 00:00:19,953
Where did we meet?
9
00:00:19,953 --> 00:00:23,091
We didn't actually meet,
But I know you remember me.
10
00:00:23,091 --> 00:00:25,993
I went to every home game
You ever played.
11
00:00:25,993 --> 00:00:30,864
Uh, marge, there
Are a lot of people
Up in the stands there.
12
00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:32,600
Sure, but you got
To remember me.
13
00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:34,902
I always sat
Right behind
First base,
14
00:00:34,902 --> 00:00:36,737
Five rows up.
Remember?
15
00:00:36,737 --> 00:00:40,841
I used to get there early
So I could watch you
Warm up in the bullpen.
16
00:00:40,841 --> 00:00:43,444
I'm sorry.
17
00:00:43,444 --> 00:00:44,645
I know.
18
00:00:44,645 --> 00:00:46,214
You couldn't
Forget this.
19
00:00:46,214 --> 00:00:49,817
Hey, malone!
You pitch like my sister!
20
00:00:49,817 --> 00:00:53,354
Why don't you go home
And make a dress?
21
00:00:56,324 --> 00:00:58,659
Was that you?
22
00:00:58,659 --> 00:01:00,894
Well, how have you been?
Guys, I want you--
23
00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:03,331
Do the one
Where you say
24
00:01:03,331 --> 00:01:06,334
I couldn'tget theball
Across the plate if I drove
It there in my car.
25
00:01:06,334 --> 00:01:09,337
No, no. That was then,
And this is now.
26
00:01:09,337 --> 00:01:11,339
By the way,
I'm really sorry
27
00:01:11,339 --> 00:01:13,207
For all those shots
I gave you over the years.
28
00:01:13,207 --> 00:01:14,708
No hard feelings?
29
00:01:14,708 --> 00:01:17,245
No. Of course not.
It's all
Part of the game.
30
00:01:17,245 --> 00:01:19,313
You're a real sport,
Malone.
31
00:01:20,948 --> 00:01:23,917
You call this a martini?
32
00:01:25,353 --> 00:01:28,689
What did you use
For vermouth, turpentine?
33
00:01:28,689 --> 00:01:32,126
The great ones
Never lose it.
34
00:01:38,866 --> 00:01:41,569
* sometimes
You wanna go *
35
00:01:41,569 --> 00:01:44,872
* where everybody
Knows your name *
36
00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:50,211
* and they're always
Glad you came *
37
00:01:51,679 --> 00:01:53,981
* you wanna be
Where you can see *
38
00:01:53,981 --> 00:01:56,684
* our troubles
Are all the same *
39
00:01:56,684 --> 00:02:01,489
* you wanna go where
Everybody knows your name **
40
00:02:15,436 --> 00:02:16,937
All right. I got it.
I got it.
41
00:02:16,937 --> 00:02:18,439
Worst possible
Way to die?
42
00:02:18,439 --> 00:02:20,441
Being eaten alive
By rats.
43
00:02:20,441 --> 00:02:23,076
No. I think I can do
Better than that.
44
00:02:23,076 --> 00:02:25,078
I'd say
The worst way to die
45
00:02:25,078 --> 00:02:27,581
Is to be sliding down
A razor banister, ok,
46
00:02:27,581 --> 00:02:29,517
A greased
Razor banister.
47
00:02:29,517 --> 00:02:32,052
Wait! I've got it.
48
00:02:32,052 --> 00:02:36,690
To die alone,
Knowing that you have
Never been loved.
49
00:02:36,690 --> 00:02:38,959
Come on, frasier.
If you're not even
Gonna try--
50
00:02:38,959 --> 00:02:41,028
I mean, come on.
51
00:02:41,028 --> 00:02:42,029
Whew!
52
00:02:42,029 --> 00:02:44,765
Carla, what are you
All decked out for?
53
00:02:44,765 --> 00:02:46,767
It's my second
Wedding anniversary.
54
00:02:46,767 --> 00:02:49,370
Oh, things are going ok
With you and eddie?
55
00:02:49,370 --> 00:02:51,372
Just last week,
You were calling him
56
00:02:51,372 --> 00:02:52,740
A dent-nosed,
Toothless
Little frog.
57
00:02:52,740 --> 00:02:54,708
Pillow talk.
58
00:02:56,310 --> 00:02:58,312
Well, actually,
I was a little upset there
59
00:02:58,312 --> 00:03:00,548
About it the fact
That he's been on the road
60
00:03:00,548 --> 00:03:02,250
With the ice show
For a month now
61
00:03:02,250 --> 00:03:04,385
And I haven't gotten
So much as a phone call.
62
00:03:04,385 --> 00:03:07,455
But this morning,
I suddenly realized
What he was doing.
63
00:03:07,455 --> 00:03:08,789
Treating you like crap?
64
00:03:08,789 --> 00:03:12,260
No...No, that's what
He wants me to think.
65
00:03:12,260 --> 00:03:14,928
It's his way of setting up
The surprise.
66
00:03:14,928 --> 00:03:17,064
So you figure he's been
Neglecting you just
To set you up.
67
00:03:17,064 --> 00:03:18,566
It's got to be that.
I know this man.
68
00:03:18,566 --> 00:03:20,568
Woody, what time is it?
69
00:03:20,568 --> 00:03:21,869
Don't go
By my watch.
70
00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:23,604
I always set it
10 minutes ahead
71
00:03:23,604 --> 00:03:25,172
So I won't be late
For things.
72
00:03:25,172 --> 00:03:26,874
You were late
This morning.
73
00:03:26,874 --> 00:03:28,809
Yeah.
I know. I couldn't
Find my watch.
74
00:03:30,378 --> 00:03:32,246
It's 6:30, carla.
75
00:03:32,246 --> 00:03:35,583
Well, he's still got
5 1/2 more hours
Till midnight.
76
00:03:35,583 --> 00:03:37,585
He's really
Cutting it close,
77
00:03:37,585 --> 00:03:40,388
But it will make it
All the sweeter
When it happens.
78
00:03:40,388 --> 00:03:43,657
Yeah. Anniversaries
Can be just great.
79
00:03:43,657 --> 00:03:46,627
I'll never forget
My first anniversary
With vera.
80
00:03:46,627 --> 00:03:47,628
Yeah. We, uh...
81
00:03:47,628 --> 00:03:49,630
Oh, my god,
I did forget it.
82
00:03:49,630 --> 00:03:51,965
Anybody know where
I can get
83
00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:54,668
A 17-year-old box
Of candy?
84
00:03:54,668 --> 00:03:57,671
Frasier, my faun,
I deserve a treat.
85
00:03:57,671 --> 00:04:01,742
Today, my bellybutton
Turned from an innie
To an outie.
86
00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:03,210
Well, this is news.
87
00:04:03,210 --> 00:04:07,315
Norm, we have
A few things we'd like
To ask you about.
88
00:04:07,315 --> 00:04:08,482
Oh, great. Must be
Pretty important
89
00:04:08,482 --> 00:04:10,284
If you're
Willing to buy me
A free drink.
90
00:04:10,284 --> 00:04:11,285
Of course we will.
91
00:04:11,285 --> 00:04:12,786
A drink for norm.
92
00:04:12,786 --> 00:04:14,788
What do you drink?
93
00:04:14,788 --> 00:04:18,258
[laughter]
94
00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:19,760
What's so funny?
95
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:22,563
It's just that
Everyone knows norm
Always drinks beer, dear.
96
00:04:22,563 --> 00:04:24,432
Ah. That is
Hysterical.
97
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:27,701
Anyway,
98
00:04:27,701 --> 00:04:29,303
Lilith and I
Have been talking,
And we decided
99
00:04:29,303 --> 00:04:31,939
That we would
Like you to decorate
Our unborn child's room.
100
00:04:31,939 --> 00:04:34,274
All right. Sure.
I can do that.
101
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:35,776
I just did a nursery
For my sister-in-law.
102
00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:38,211
I went with
Gummi bears rampant
103
00:04:38,211 --> 00:04:40,147
In a field of smurfs.
No, no, no.
104
00:04:40,147 --> 00:04:43,451
We'd like
To stay away from that
Cutsie-ootsie drivel
105
00:04:43,451 --> 00:04:44,852
That retards the child's
106
00:04:44,852 --> 00:04:47,054
Creative
And intellectual
Development.
107
00:04:47,054 --> 00:04:50,491
All right.
Do we know if it's
Gonna be a boy or a girl?
108
00:04:50,491 --> 00:04:53,394
We are not going to cram
Sexual identity
Down our baby's throat.
109
00:04:53,394 --> 00:04:55,062
So, naturally,
110
00:04:55,062 --> 00:04:57,631
The room should be
Sexually neutral.
111
00:04:57,631 --> 00:04:59,900
Great. Fine.
I can do that.
112
00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:03,637
When I'm finished,
Your kid won't have a clue
What sex it is.
113
00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:06,740
Hey, everybody!
Listen up.
114
00:05:06,740 --> 00:05:09,042
We only got a few
Minutes to the game here.
115
00:05:09,042 --> 00:05:12,145
Who wants in
On the basketball pool?
116
00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:13,547
I'm in.
I'm in.
Put me down.
117
00:05:13,547 --> 00:05:14,948
There you go,
Gentlemen.
118
00:05:14,948 --> 00:05:16,450
Woody, how about you?
119
00:05:16,450 --> 00:05:18,952
I don't know, sam.
I don't like playing games
For money.
120
00:05:18,952 --> 00:05:22,523
You end up either losing money
Or taking it from friends.
121
00:05:22,523 --> 00:05:24,525
No, no, woody.
This is just a game, man.
122
00:05:24,525 --> 00:05:26,026
5 bucks a square.
123
00:05:26,026 --> 00:05:29,329
You got four quarters,
Four chances to win.
124
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:32,232
I don't know.
I don't like taking money
From my friends.
125
00:05:32,232 --> 00:05:33,333
Go ahead, woody.
126
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:36,269
Nobody here
Gives a hoot
About you anyway.
127
00:05:37,738 --> 00:05:38,839
Ok. Great.
128
00:05:41,575 --> 00:05:43,076
Don't forget
Your money.
129
00:05:43,076 --> 00:05:45,078
This isn't gambling,
Is it?
130
00:05:45,078 --> 00:05:46,079
Gambling?
131
00:05:46,079 --> 00:05:47,581
Sam, we have had
This talk before.
132
00:05:47,581 --> 00:05:49,417
I can get
Closed down.
133
00:05:49,417 --> 00:05:50,918
This? Oh, no, no.
134
00:05:50,918 --> 00:05:51,919
Thanks.
135
00:05:51,919 --> 00:05:53,987
This is not gambling.
136
00:05:53,987 --> 00:05:55,489
Well, this is a game.
137
00:05:55,489 --> 00:05:58,926
Haven't you ever heard of
Championship tic-tac-toe?
138
00:05:58,926 --> 00:06:00,628
It's a great game.
139
00:06:00,628 --> 00:06:01,695
Who's next here?
140
00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:03,431
Me.
All righty.
141
00:06:03,431 --> 00:06:04,432
It's my turn,
142
00:06:04,432 --> 00:06:07,000
And I will take
This square here,
143
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:09,503
And, uh...Oh,
By the way, sam,
144
00:06:09,503 --> 00:06:12,305
Here's that 5 bucks
I owe you.
145
00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:17,711
Well, normie,
146
00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:20,714
You fell right into
My trap there, buddy.
147
00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:22,450
Here you go.
148
00:06:22,450 --> 00:06:23,851
Sammy, by the way,
149
00:06:23,851 --> 00:06:26,620
This slipped
Out of your wallet, uh,
Couple weeks ago.
150
00:06:27,688 --> 00:06:30,624
How stupid
Do you think I am?
151
00:06:30,624 --> 00:06:33,126
I know exactly
What's going on here.
152
00:06:33,126 --> 00:06:34,462
Come on.
What's the big deal?
153
00:06:34,462 --> 00:06:36,964
It's a friendly little
Game of wagering.
154
00:06:36,964 --> 00:06:38,966
It's a simple $500 pot.
155
00:06:38,966 --> 00:06:40,968
I can't believe
You people.
156
00:06:40,968 --> 00:06:43,971
Do you really think
You're gonna get
Something for nothing?
157
00:06:43,971 --> 00:06:46,974
Do you know how long
It takes me
158
00:06:46,974 --> 00:06:48,341
To earn $500?
159
00:06:48,341 --> 00:06:50,077
Give me three squares.
160
00:06:52,646 --> 00:06:55,916
Guys, get a load
Of that guy
Over there
161
00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:58,452
With
The fake beard and
The dark glasses.
162
00:06:58,452 --> 00:07:01,522
Does that look
Like somebody
I'm married to
163
00:07:01,522 --> 00:07:03,624
In a special
Anniversary
Disguise?
164
00:07:03,624 --> 00:07:06,860
Well, two
Can play at the
Surprise game.
165
00:07:11,732 --> 00:07:13,734
Your beard
Might be phony,
166
00:07:13,734 --> 00:07:16,670
But I know something
About you that's real.
167
00:07:17,738 --> 00:07:20,173
Wait a minute.
You're not eddie
168
00:07:23,076 --> 00:07:24,512
But you're not bad.
169
00:07:31,318 --> 00:07:32,319
Where is eddie?
170
00:07:32,319 --> 00:07:35,489
Why haven't I
Heard from him?
171
00:07:35,489 --> 00:07:38,659
It's dear to see
Carla so concerned
About her mate.
172
00:07:38,659 --> 00:07:40,661
Remember when you
Gave that lecture
In new york?
173
00:07:40,661 --> 00:07:43,063
In a fit of whimsy,
I flew in
To surprise you.
174
00:07:43,063 --> 00:07:45,065
It was hardly
A surprise.
175
00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:47,400
We booked those reservations
Three weeks in advance.
176
00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:49,402
So you were
In on it.
177
00:07:49,402 --> 00:07:51,071
Still, it was
A wacky thing to do.
178
00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:52,540
Hey, sam!
179
00:07:52,540 --> 00:07:54,542
End of the first quarter.
180
00:07:54,542 --> 00:07:55,909
Oh! What's
The score here?
181
00:07:55,909 --> 00:07:58,078
26-25, boston.
182
00:07:58,078 --> 00:08:00,080
Let's see,
The winner is...
183
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:02,583
Uh-oh. Woody.
184
00:08:02,583 --> 00:08:04,151
What a shame.
185
00:08:04,151 --> 00:08:06,820
You know how he feels
About taking any
Of his friends' money here.
186
00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:08,556
You think you can
Talk him into it?
187
00:08:08,556 --> 00:08:10,524
Yeah. I'll give it
A try here.
188
00:08:10,524 --> 00:08:11,525
Hey, woodrow...
189
00:08:11,525 --> 00:08:13,460
You won the first pot.
190
00:08:14,528 --> 00:08:15,896
How much
Did I win?
191
00:08:15,896 --> 00:08:17,698
$125.
192
00:08:17,698 --> 00:08:20,668
Yes! Come to papa!
193
00:08:20,668 --> 00:08:22,502
You suckers!
194
00:08:23,604 --> 00:08:25,338
* I'm in the money *
195
00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:27,007
* I'm in the money **
196
00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:28,976
Ha!
197
00:08:28,976 --> 00:08:31,278
Maybe we
Could force him
To take it.
198
00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:36,183
Come here.
Woody, listen to me
For a minute.
199
00:08:36,183 --> 00:08:38,919
I don't want to put down
Your good time here.
200
00:08:38,919 --> 00:08:40,087
Whoa. Listen to me.
Listen to me.
201
00:08:40,087 --> 00:08:43,090
It's kind of a tradition
Amongst gamblers--
202
00:08:43,090 --> 00:08:45,693
Especially gamblers who
Want to stay alive--
203
00:08:45,693 --> 00:08:48,195
That you don't dance
And wave money around
204
00:08:48,195 --> 00:08:51,599
In front of people
You just won it from.
205
00:08:51,599 --> 00:08:53,701
Can I sing?
206
00:08:53,701 --> 00:08:55,202
No, you can't sing.
207
00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:58,205
I guess it would be
Out of line
208
00:08:58,205 --> 00:09:01,208
To chant
"In your face,
In your face"?
209
00:09:03,944 --> 00:09:04,945
Evening, everybody.
210
00:09:04,945 --> 00:09:06,513
Norm!
Norm!
Norm!
211
00:09:06,513 --> 00:09:07,948
What's going on,
Mr. Peterson?
212
00:09:07,948 --> 00:09:10,951
A flashing sign
In my gut that says
213
00:09:10,951 --> 00:09:12,452
"Insert beer here."
214
00:09:12,452 --> 00:09:13,453
Oh, norm?
215
00:09:13,453 --> 00:09:15,422
Ah! My clients.
216
00:09:15,422 --> 00:09:18,258
Guys, I've devised
A color scheme
217
00:09:18,258 --> 00:09:19,559
For the nursery,
218
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:21,361
But I have to warn you,
It's a bit drab.
219
00:09:21,361 --> 00:09:24,397
Good. I will not have our
Child emotionally attached
220
00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:26,800
To cartoon mice
And teddy bears.
221
00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:30,070
No. Our child
Will receive affection
222
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:31,504
From parental embraces
223
00:09:31,504 --> 00:09:34,808
Administered at generously
Scheduled intervals.
224
00:09:34,808 --> 00:09:36,276
I'll bet
He comes back
One day
225
00:09:36,276 --> 00:09:38,311
To thank you
For that,
226
00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:39,579
Probably while
You're sleeping.
227
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:41,514
You won't
Feel a thing.
228
00:09:45,619 --> 00:09:49,322
Ok. 46 to 55.
That's the half.
229
00:09:49,322 --> 00:09:50,323
Let's see.
230
00:09:50,323 --> 00:09:53,160
Uh-oh. Clear
The dance floor.
231
00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:55,028
Woody won again.
232
00:09:57,865 --> 00:09:59,532
Thanks.
233
00:09:59,532 --> 00:10:01,068
"Thanks"?
"Thanks"?
234
00:10:01,068 --> 00:10:03,671
That's all
You're going
To say? "Thanks"?
235
00:10:03,671 --> 00:10:04,672
Well, sure.
236
00:10:04,672 --> 00:10:06,173
Oh, wait a minute.
Listen.
237
00:10:06,173 --> 00:10:09,042
The only thing that
People hate worse
Than a guy who gloats
238
00:10:09,042 --> 00:10:11,044
Is a guy who
Stands there smug
239
00:10:11,044 --> 00:10:13,981
When they know that he's
Gloating on the inside.
240
00:10:13,981 --> 00:10:18,652
If you're going to dance,
For god's sake, dance.
241
00:10:18,652 --> 00:10:20,654
I don't want
To dance, you guys.
242
00:10:20,654 --> 00:10:23,156
I didn't mean
To hurt anybody.
243
00:10:23,156 --> 00:10:27,761
I just want to
Sit here quietly
And count my bucks.
244
00:10:27,761 --> 00:10:29,129
Let's see,
245
00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:31,498
That would be 5...
246
00:10:31,498 --> 00:10:32,833
10...
247
00:10:32,833 --> 00:10:34,067
15...
248
00:10:34,067 --> 00:10:36,569
Wait. There's
Something written
On this 5.
249
00:10:36,569 --> 00:10:39,039
Oh, that'd be mine. Here.
Let me give you a clean one.
250
00:10:39,039 --> 00:10:41,141
I'll take that back.
I don't mind.
251
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:43,643
It's all right.
You get ink all
Over your fingers.
252
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:45,645
Let's see
What it says.
253
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:48,682
Uh..."Happy 30th birthday,
Cliffie-bits.
254
00:10:48,682 --> 00:10:51,685
"Sorry I didn't
Have time to shop.
255
00:10:51,685 --> 00:10:52,619
Love, ma."
256
00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:59,927
You've been carrying around
A gift from your mother
For 10 years?
257
00:10:59,927 --> 00:11:01,061
No, no. Sammy.
258
00:11:01,061 --> 00:11:02,930
The post office
Just delivered it
Yesterday.
259
00:11:02,930 --> 00:11:05,632
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Very funny.
260
00:11:05,632 --> 00:11:07,200
You're just jealous
Because I've got a ma
261
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:09,469
Who sends me 5 bucks
On my birthday,
And you don't.
262
00:11:09,469 --> 00:11:10,570
What are you
Talking about?
263
00:11:10,570 --> 00:11:13,440
Your ma sends me
Money all the time,
Cliff.
264
00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:14,574
I got one right
Here, actually.
265
00:11:14,574 --> 00:11:16,576
"Dearest norm,
Thanks for
Hanging out
266
00:11:16,576 --> 00:11:17,778
"With my dorky son.
267
00:11:17,778 --> 00:11:20,413
"You're a saint.
Love, ma clavin.
268
00:11:20,413 --> 00:11:24,952
P.S. I'm writing
This in the nude."
269
00:11:24,952 --> 00:11:26,954
My ma didn't
Write that!
270
00:11:26,954 --> 00:11:29,723
My ma's never been
Nude in her life!
271
00:11:32,225 --> 00:11:35,796
I got some flowers here
For a carla lebec.
272
00:11:35,796 --> 00:11:36,797
Oh, yes!
273
00:11:36,797 --> 00:11:39,032
Let the present
Parade begin.
274
00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:40,868
Ahh!
275
00:11:40,868 --> 00:11:43,236
I wonder what
Eddie's plan is?
276
00:11:43,236 --> 00:11:44,738
Flowers every hour?
277
00:11:44,738 --> 00:11:47,240
Or maybe the presents
Are just going to
Get bigger and bigger
278
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:48,809
As the night goes on.
279
00:11:48,809 --> 00:11:52,245
I'll tell you,
I wouldn't be surprised
If I left here tonight
280
00:11:52,245 --> 00:11:54,181
With an electric
Fondue set.
281
00:11:55,248 --> 00:11:56,249
Yes!
282
00:11:56,249 --> 00:11:58,151
"Happy second anniversary,
283
00:11:58,151 --> 00:12:00,954
Your loving husband,
Edward lebec."
284
00:12:00,954 --> 00:12:02,022
Aw.
285
00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:03,523
What a guy.
Yeah.
286
00:12:03,523 --> 00:12:05,058
Boy, that's really
Sweet, carla.
287
00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:06,493
Nice flowers,
Too.
288
00:12:09,897 --> 00:12:12,900
I hear
That keeps them
Fresh longer.
289
00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:16,003
Hey! Whoa! Where you going?
What is that about?
290
00:12:16,003 --> 00:12:17,938
Those flowers
Weren't from eddie.
291
00:12:17,938 --> 00:12:20,073
What are you
Talking about?
292
00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:22,075
His real name
Isn't edward.
293
00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:23,243
It's guy.
294
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:24,711
Huh?
What?
295
00:12:24,711 --> 00:12:26,613
G-u-y. Guy.
296
00:12:26,613 --> 00:12:28,548
People just
Call him eddie
297
00:12:28,548 --> 00:12:31,051
Because
It's too weenie
To say guy.
298
00:12:31,051 --> 00:12:34,054
All right, which one
Of you dirt bags
299
00:12:34,054 --> 00:12:36,123
Sent those
Gorgeous flowers?
300
00:12:36,123 --> 00:12:37,124
Hey, come on.
301
00:12:37,124 --> 00:12:38,625
We didn't
Send those.
302
00:12:38,625 --> 00:12:39,960
You know,
303
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:43,296
I'll bet you eddie
Spent about $50
For those flowers.
304
00:12:43,296 --> 00:12:45,899
50? You told me
It was going to be 35.
305
00:12:45,899 --> 00:12:48,936
Oh, god...God!
306
00:12:48,936 --> 00:12:51,438
I don't believe that
You guys don't think
307
00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:53,506
Eddie's going
To come through.
308
00:12:53,506 --> 00:12:56,509
I'll tell you,
I got faith
In eddie.
309
00:12:56,509 --> 00:12:59,512
He's the best
Husband in
The whole world,
310
00:12:59,512 --> 00:13:01,949
And he's going
To come through.
311
00:13:01,949 --> 00:13:02,883
You'll see.
312
00:13:04,384 --> 00:13:08,521
[whistles] she's
Right, you know.
313
00:13:08,521 --> 00:13:10,523
Yeah.
Seeing a wife
Stand up
314
00:13:10,523 --> 00:13:12,392
For her husband
Like that
315
00:13:12,392 --> 00:13:15,228
Makes me
Realize what
I have at home.
316
00:13:15,228 --> 00:13:17,797
Guess
That's kind of
Why I'm here.
317
00:13:20,367 --> 00:13:23,270
Yeah. Two dozen,
Long-stemmed,
318
00:13:23,270 --> 00:13:26,273
And make the card
Out "To carla,
319
00:13:26,273 --> 00:13:29,242
With all my love,
Guy."
320
00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:31,211
Yeah. Guy,
As in "Geek."
321
00:13:39,519 --> 00:13:41,955
Well, carla,
It's midnight.
322
00:13:41,955 --> 00:13:44,391
Anniversary's over.
323
00:13:44,391 --> 00:13:45,893
No, sam.
It's over here.
324
00:13:45,893 --> 00:13:48,896
Where eddie is,
It's still going on.
325
00:13:48,896 --> 00:13:50,864
He's got almost
Three hours left.
326
00:13:54,434 --> 00:13:56,036
Carla lebec?
327
00:13:56,036 --> 00:13:57,770
Ah.
328
00:13:57,770 --> 00:13:59,072
Flowers.
329
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:02,009
There you go.
330
00:14:02,009 --> 00:14:05,512
Aren't you a little old
For a delivery boy?
331
00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:07,447
It's my father's
Night off.
332
00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:10,017
Hey, wow,
333
00:14:10,017 --> 00:14:11,118
Thank you.
334
00:14:14,888 --> 00:14:17,390
Does anybody know
Who these are from
335
00:14:17,390 --> 00:14:18,959
And who they're for?
336
00:14:18,959 --> 00:14:20,427
Cliff's mom?
For me?
337
00:14:21,895 --> 00:14:24,531
No. They're
From eddie lebec
338
00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:26,533
For me
For our anniversary.
339
00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:28,535
Now are
You guys satisfied,
340
00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:31,538
Or would you
Like to sit on these?
341
00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:33,540
Ooh, boy, that's
Love for you.
342
00:14:33,540 --> 00:14:35,943
Yeah, really.
I got a tear
In my eye.
343
00:14:35,943 --> 00:14:38,478
Yeah? You're going to
Have this in your eye
344
00:14:38,478 --> 00:14:41,481
If you don't
Lay off my mom!
345
00:14:41,481 --> 00:14:43,416
Oh, carla,
Those are gorgeous.
346
00:14:43,416 --> 00:14:44,918
Who sent them?
347
00:14:44,918 --> 00:14:46,419
Who do you think?
348
00:14:46,419 --> 00:14:48,488
Oh, isn't eddie sweet?
349
00:14:48,488 --> 00:14:51,491
Oh, why can't
More men send flowers?
350
00:14:51,491 --> 00:14:54,427
I didn't know
Mormons couldn't
Send flowers.
351
00:14:57,998 --> 00:15:02,069
I said "More men,"
Not "Mormons."
352
00:15:02,069 --> 00:15:04,437
I know they
Can't dance.
353
00:15:04,437 --> 00:15:05,605
No, sammy,
354
00:15:05,605 --> 00:15:07,740
That's the--
That's the amish.
355
00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:09,676
Why can't mormons
Send flowers?
356
00:15:09,676 --> 00:15:10,710
They can.
357
00:15:10,710 --> 00:15:12,212
Then what are you
Talking about?
358
00:15:12,212 --> 00:15:15,348
I just wish someone
Would send me some damn roses.
359
00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:18,351
Why does it have
To be a mormon?
Oh, god!
360
00:15:18,351 --> 00:15:19,352
[telephone rings]
361
00:15:19,352 --> 00:15:21,388
Cheers.
362
00:15:21,388 --> 00:15:24,191
Some people you
Just can't discuss
Religion with.
363
00:15:26,193 --> 00:15:27,961
Carla, that was
Your florist.
364
00:15:27,961 --> 00:15:30,063
They didn't accept
Your credit card
For the flowers.
365
00:15:30,063 --> 00:15:32,565
You got to
Bring them cash.
366
00:15:36,869 --> 00:15:39,539
Ok, eddie didn't
Send the flowers.
367
00:15:39,539 --> 00:15:41,841
I sent them to myself.
368
00:15:41,841 --> 00:15:45,578
I just figured
That when he did do
His wonderful surprise,
369
00:15:45,578 --> 00:15:47,780
It might be later,
And you guys might miss it,
370
00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:49,949
So just get
Off my case!
371
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:51,918
It's going
To happen, ok?
372
00:15:53,853 --> 00:15:56,456
There is
One bright side
To all this.
373
00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:57,991
Yeah? What's that?
374
00:15:57,991 --> 00:16:01,028
You're going to have
The sweetest-smelling
Garbage on the block.
375
00:16:05,265 --> 00:16:06,766
Sammy,
That's the end
Of that game.
376
00:16:06,766 --> 00:16:08,268
Who's
The winner?
377
00:16:08,268 --> 00:16:12,005
Oh, dear.
Guess who.
378
00:16:12,005 --> 00:16:14,341
Yes! Again! Ha!
379
00:16:14,341 --> 00:16:17,344
A clean sweep for
The board machine!
380
00:16:17,344 --> 00:16:19,346
All four quarters
Are mine.
381
00:16:19,346 --> 00:16:22,282
Hey, here's 3 bucks.
Go buy yourselves
Some luck.
382
00:16:24,184 --> 00:16:26,686
I'm sorry, woody,
But you're wrong.
383
00:16:26,686 --> 00:16:28,021
Rebecca won.
384
00:16:28,021 --> 00:16:29,222
What?
385
00:16:31,758 --> 00:16:35,028
Well, I hope you learn
From my example.
386
00:16:35,028 --> 00:16:37,030
I'm going
To show you
387
00:16:37,030 --> 00:16:39,532
How a really gracious
Winner behaves.
388
00:16:39,532 --> 00:16:42,202
Read 'em and weep,
Farm boy!
389
00:16:42,202 --> 00:16:43,270
Waah!
390
00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:46,005
Excuse me, miss.
391
00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:47,774
Yes, sir?
392
00:16:47,774 --> 00:16:51,744
I'm detective mcguiness,
Boston police department.
393
00:16:51,744 --> 00:16:53,246
I'm off duty here,
But for your sake,
394
00:16:53,246 --> 00:16:57,350
I really hope there
Isn't any gambling
Going on here.
395
00:16:57,350 --> 00:16:59,686
Gambling?
396
00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:01,354
No, sir.
397
00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:02,989
I earned this money.
398
00:17:04,157 --> 00:17:06,126
I'm a prostitute.
399
00:17:11,764 --> 00:17:13,766
That isn't better,
Is it?
400
00:17:13,766 --> 00:17:16,269
No. This is just
A little joke.
401
00:17:16,269 --> 00:17:18,271
We play
A little game here,
402
00:17:18,271 --> 00:17:19,972
But we never play
For keepsies.
403
00:17:19,972 --> 00:17:23,776
See? I take the money in,
And I give the money
Back like this.
404
00:17:23,776 --> 00:17:25,845
Give this back to me later.
405
00:17:25,845 --> 00:17:27,314
[telephone rings]
406
00:17:27,314 --> 00:17:28,748
I'll get it!
Give that back.
407
00:17:30,483 --> 00:17:31,951
Cheers.
408
00:17:31,951 --> 00:17:34,287
Yeah?
409
00:17:34,287 --> 00:17:36,323
Great! Great!
410
00:17:36,323 --> 00:17:37,357
Ho ho!
411
00:17:37,357 --> 00:17:38,891
That was serafina.
412
00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:41,828
Anthony's on his way
Over here with a package
413
00:17:41,828 --> 00:17:43,263
For me from eddie
Right now.
414
00:17:43,263 --> 00:17:44,464
Hey, good
For you.
415
00:17:44,464 --> 00:17:45,732
[horn honks]
416
00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:49,202
That's him!
That's anthony
With my present.
417
00:17:50,437 --> 00:17:52,239
Woody.
418
00:17:52,239 --> 00:17:54,241
Why didn't
He come in?
419
00:17:54,241 --> 00:17:56,243
No brakes
In the car.
420
00:17:56,243 --> 00:17:58,077
How does he stop?
421
00:17:58,077 --> 00:17:59,579
He either swerves
Into hedges
422
00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:01,581
Or he coasts
Around the block
423
00:18:01,581 --> 00:18:04,151
Until he can stop
The car with his foot.
424
00:18:04,151 --> 00:18:07,086
Oh, man, this is
Going to be good.
425
00:18:11,991 --> 00:18:13,160
Laundry?
426
00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:15,162
He sends you
His laundry?
427
00:18:15,162 --> 00:18:17,164
Well, yeah,
Once a month,
428
00:18:17,164 --> 00:18:20,467
But this has got to be
Some kind of joke.
429
00:18:20,467 --> 00:18:23,636
He wouldn't send it
On our anniversary.
430
00:18:23,636 --> 00:18:27,540
There's got to be a present
Packed in here, right?
431
00:18:27,540 --> 00:18:29,609
Oh, that eddie.
432
00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:31,110
What a guy,
433
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:33,513
Packing a present
In some laundry.
434
00:18:33,513 --> 00:18:36,216
It's got to be
In here somewhere.
435
00:18:38,351 --> 00:18:40,787
It's got
To be in here.
436
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:49,896
Guess I was wrong.
437
00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:03,776
What are you all
Looking at?
438
00:19:07,214 --> 00:19:09,949
What are you
Avoiding looking at?
439
00:19:11,184 --> 00:19:13,119
I know what
You guys think.
440
00:19:13,119 --> 00:19:14,153
You think he forgot.
441
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,189
You think my marriage
Is in big trouble,
442
00:19:16,189 --> 00:19:19,192
And eddie's turning into
My typical creep husband.
443
00:19:19,192 --> 00:19:20,693
Well, it's not true,
444
00:19:20,693 --> 00:19:23,696
So just go back
To your stupid lives.
445
00:19:23,696 --> 00:19:25,198
Norm, order a beer.
446
00:19:25,198 --> 00:19:27,967
Clavin, bore us.
447
00:19:27,967 --> 00:19:29,936
Oh, woody, why don't
You tell us
448
00:19:29,936 --> 00:19:32,472
About how another one
Of your relatives
449
00:19:32,472 --> 00:19:35,542
Lost a body part
In some farm equipment?
450
00:19:35,542 --> 00:19:38,711
Did I ever tell you
About aunt lefty?
Shut up!
451
00:19:40,447 --> 00:19:45,151
Just go on back to your
Sad, pathetic lives.
452
00:19:45,151 --> 00:19:46,653
Me, I'm going home.
453
00:19:46,653 --> 00:19:49,656
I'm going
To go sit in a dark room
454
00:19:49,656 --> 00:19:51,157
And have some fun.
455
00:19:51,157 --> 00:19:53,626
I'm playing
A gene pitney record,
456
00:19:53,626 --> 00:19:56,128
And I'm going
To slice eddie's face
457
00:19:56,128 --> 00:19:57,830
Out of every picture
In the house.
458
00:19:57,830 --> 00:19:59,332
Hey, how you doing?
459
00:19:59,332 --> 00:20:01,768
No. I don't think
She can come to
The phone, eddie.
460
00:20:01,768 --> 00:20:03,270
She has plans
For the evening.
461
00:20:03,270 --> 00:20:04,704
Give me that phone!
462
00:20:06,506 --> 00:20:08,140
Is this really eddie?
463
00:20:08,140 --> 00:20:09,742
Sure, it's me, babe.
464
00:20:09,742 --> 00:20:11,911
Listen, honey, I'm sorry
I couldn't come home.
465
00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:14,814
I wanted
To make last year's
Celebration look sick.
466
00:20:14,814 --> 00:20:16,416
I already got
My plane ticket,
467
00:20:16,416 --> 00:20:17,817
I'm at the airport,
And everything.
468
00:20:17,817 --> 00:20:19,652
And they call me
Back to rehearsal.
469
00:20:19,652 --> 00:20:21,888
They changed
The whole script
In the ice show.
470
00:20:21,888 --> 00:20:24,824
They've taken
All the humanity out
Of the big bad wolf,
471
00:20:24,824 --> 00:20:28,761
And the three little
Pigs think they're
God's gift to ice.
472
00:20:28,761 --> 00:20:30,763
I really don't want
To talk about it.
473
00:20:30,763 --> 00:20:34,066
Eddie, when am I
Going to see you again?
474
00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:36,068
Gee, I guess
In a couple of months.
475
00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:37,570
A couple of months?
476
00:20:37,570 --> 00:20:39,472
Listen, honey,
I got to go.
477
00:20:39,472 --> 00:20:41,874
The bus
Is about to leave
For yakima,
478
00:20:41,874 --> 00:20:43,310
And if I don't
Make it quick,
479
00:20:43,310 --> 00:20:46,178
The pigs will grab
All the good seats.
480
00:20:46,178 --> 00:20:48,315
Hey, eddie,
I love you.
481
00:20:48,315 --> 00:20:51,150
I love you, too,
Sweetie. Bye.
482
00:20:54,821 --> 00:20:57,424
Hey, everybody,
Listen up!
483
00:20:57,424 --> 00:21:00,427
I want you all
To repeat after me.
484
00:21:00,427 --> 00:21:03,229
I am a very stupid person.
485
00:21:03,229 --> 00:21:06,399
I am a very
Stupid person.
486
00:21:06,399 --> 00:21:08,568
And I will never doubt
487
00:21:08,568 --> 00:21:11,904
The undying love
And total commitment
488
00:21:11,904 --> 00:21:14,741
That exists,
Always has existed,
489
00:21:14,741 --> 00:21:16,242
And always will exist
490
00:21:16,242 --> 00:21:19,379
Between carla
And eddie lebec.
491
00:21:19,379 --> 00:21:23,416
I am a very
Stupid person.
492
00:21:23,416 --> 00:21:24,684
Close enough.
493
00:21:24,684 --> 00:21:27,186
Well, turns out
The only reason
494
00:21:27,186 --> 00:21:30,690
He didn't surprise me
Was he had to rehearse.
495
00:21:30,690 --> 00:21:33,626
That ought to show
You momos a lesson.
496
00:21:34,927 --> 00:21:37,430
Well, that was eddie
On the phone.
497
00:21:37,430 --> 00:21:38,565
Hey.
498
00:21:38,565 --> 00:21:40,900
Isn't that just the nicest,
Sweetest thing--
499
00:21:40,900 --> 00:21:42,402
For eddie to remember?
500
00:21:42,402 --> 00:21:44,904
Yeah, carla,
It sure was.
501
00:21:44,904 --> 00:21:46,005
Yeah.
502
00:21:50,242 --> 00:21:53,746
You called
To remind him,
Didn't you, rat lips?
503
00:21:53,746 --> 00:21:55,247
How could I?
504
00:21:55,247 --> 00:21:58,184
I don't even know
Where he is.
505
00:21:58,184 --> 00:22:01,187
Sammy, I'm going
To ask you again,
And I'm warning you--
506
00:22:01,187 --> 00:22:04,156
Don't back up.
I won't hurt you,
You wimp.
507
00:22:04,156 --> 00:22:05,825
All right.
508
00:22:07,460 --> 00:22:09,462
The women in my family
509
00:22:09,462 --> 00:22:12,965
For generations
Have had absolutely
No talents or gifts
510
00:22:12,965 --> 00:22:14,401
But one...
511
00:22:15,735 --> 00:22:20,373
We can make up any curse
And make it stick. Ok?
512
00:22:20,373 --> 00:22:21,874
Now, tell me the truth,
513
00:22:21,874 --> 00:22:24,877
Or my curse on you
Is going to be--
514
00:22:24,877 --> 00:22:27,414
Let me think
Of a good one here.
515
00:22:27,414 --> 00:22:30,149
No. Not the hair.
Anything but
The hair.
516
00:22:31,317 --> 00:22:32,585
Ok, ok.
517
00:22:34,521 --> 00:22:35,988
Your eyes--
518
00:22:35,988 --> 00:22:39,659
Oh, no. Wait a minute.
I got it.
519
00:22:39,659 --> 00:22:42,595
Your tongue is going
To swell up so big,
520
00:22:42,595 --> 00:22:47,233
You're going to
Have to buy a seat
On the plane for it.
521
00:22:47,233 --> 00:22:48,234
Carla--
522
00:22:48,234 --> 00:22:51,203
Sammy, you know
I can do it.
523
00:22:51,203 --> 00:22:54,306
Now look into my eyes
And tell me the truth.
524
00:22:55,708 --> 00:22:57,276
Did you call eddie
525
00:22:57,276 --> 00:23:00,212
And remind him
About our anniversary?
526
00:23:00,212 --> 00:23:02,715
No, carla, I didn't.
527
00:23:04,851 --> 00:23:06,252
Ok...
528
00:23:06,252 --> 00:23:08,254
But you
And your tongue
529
00:23:08,254 --> 00:23:10,189
Better be
Telling the truth.
530
00:23:16,696 --> 00:23:18,798
Family curse.
531
00:23:19,999 --> 00:23:22,935
How gullible
Doth the think I am?
532
00:23:28,475 --> 00:23:30,042
Oh, no.
533
00:23:30,042 --> 00:23:31,210
No. Oh.
534
00:23:31,210 --> 00:23:32,712
Carla! Carla!
535
00:23:32,712 --> 00:23:34,046
What?
536
00:23:34,046 --> 00:23:36,549
Nothing.
37716
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