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1
00:00:02,503 --> 00:00:04,538
Woody: "Cheers" is filmed before
A live studio audience.
2
00:00:09,077 --> 00:00:10,344
Excuse me.
3
00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:14,182
Does a carla tortelli
Lebec nee lozuponi
Work here?
4
00:00:14,182 --> 00:00:16,917
You're talking
To her.
What's it to you?
5
00:00:16,917 --> 00:00:18,819
My name is
Whitley morris.
6
00:00:18,819 --> 00:00:22,490
I represent the estate
Of your late grandfather,
Antonio lozuponi.
7
00:00:22,490 --> 00:00:26,327
No doubt you know
That antonio deserted
Your grandmother in 1921.
8
00:00:26,327 --> 00:00:29,130
What you may not know
Is that he hopped a freight
To los angeles that year,
9
00:00:29,130 --> 00:00:31,299
Taking with him only
His lucky quarter.
10
00:00:31,299 --> 00:00:34,068
He worked packing fruit
Until he raised enough capital
11
00:00:34,068 --> 00:00:36,670
To open up his own business
Selling candied peaches.
12
00:00:36,670 --> 00:00:38,906
With the profits from this,
He invested in oil,
13
00:00:38,906 --> 00:00:42,009
And through
Judicious management
Of his funds
14
00:00:42,009 --> 00:00:44,312
Amassed a fortune
In excess of $20 million.
15
00:00:44,312 --> 00:00:46,214
Miss, can I order a beer?
16
00:00:46,214 --> 00:00:49,617
What do I look like,
A waitress?
17
00:00:49,617 --> 00:00:50,818
Go on. Go on.
18
00:00:50,818 --> 00:00:52,786
On his deathbed, antonio
Felt remorse for the family
19
00:00:52,786 --> 00:00:54,155
He left behind in boston,
20
00:00:54,155 --> 00:00:56,390
And he made out a will
Leaving his entire fortune
21
00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:58,826
To the surviving lozuponis,
Of which you are one.
22
00:00:58,826 --> 00:01:00,561
Yeah, yeah?
23
00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:02,396
Unfortunately,
This was not discovered
24
00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:06,200
Until the death last month
Of antonio's unscrupulous
Illegitimate son paolo,
25
00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:07,735
Who suppressed the will
26
00:01:07,735 --> 00:01:10,070
And in 10 short years
Squandered the entire fortune
27
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:11,472
On fast horses
And loose women.
28
00:01:13,541 --> 00:01:16,310
What does
That leave me?
29
00:01:16,310 --> 00:01:18,179
Grandfather lozuponi's
Lucky quarter.
30
00:01:18,179 --> 00:01:19,413
Congratulations.
31
00:01:26,854 --> 00:01:29,290
* makin' your way
In the world today *
32
00:01:29,290 --> 00:01:32,193
* takes everything
You've got *
33
00:01:32,193 --> 00:01:34,995
* takin' a break
From all your worries *
34
00:01:34,995 --> 00:01:37,064
* sure would
Help a lot *
35
00:01:38,366 --> 00:01:41,235
* wouldn't you like
To get away? *
36
00:01:44,037 --> 00:01:45,973
* sometimes
You want to go *
37
00:01:45,973 --> 00:01:49,510
* where everybody
Knows your name *
38
00:01:51,545 --> 00:01:54,515
* and they're always
Glad you came *
39
00:01:55,883 --> 00:01:58,286
* you want to be
Where you can see *
40
00:01:58,286 --> 00:02:01,121
* our troubles
Are all the same *
41
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:02,122
* you want to be *
42
00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:06,126
* where everybody
Knows your name *
43
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:08,662
* you want to go
Where people know *
44
00:02:08,662 --> 00:02:11,399
* people are all
The same *
45
00:02:11,399 --> 00:02:12,466
* you want to go *
46
00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:16,069
* where everybody
Knows your name **
47
00:02:32,953 --> 00:02:34,455
Woody?
48
00:02:34,455 --> 00:02:35,789
Yes, miss howe.
49
00:02:35,789 --> 00:02:37,458
I just got my butt chewed
Out on your account.
50
00:02:37,458 --> 00:02:39,260
Must've been
A real light eater.
51
00:02:44,064 --> 00:02:46,066
My boss was going
Through the personnel
Records,
52
00:02:46,066 --> 00:02:48,702
And he found
An alarming discrepancy.
53
00:02:48,702 --> 00:02:49,837
Ok...
54
00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:51,639
I confess.
55
00:02:51,639 --> 00:02:55,843
I was $3.47 short
On the receipts
Last october,
56
00:02:55,843 --> 00:02:57,811
So I put money in
From my pocket.
57
00:02:57,811 --> 00:03:01,048
I always knew it would
Catch up with me.
58
00:03:01,048 --> 00:03:02,650
You don't have to
Say anything, miss howe.
59
00:03:02,650 --> 00:03:04,418
I'll get my things
And leave quietly.
60
00:03:04,418 --> 00:03:06,587
Woody, I'm not
Talking about that.
61
00:03:06,587 --> 00:03:07,821
Oh. Then never mind.
62
00:03:09,122 --> 00:03:11,292
Woody, the comptroller
Found out that
63
00:03:11,292 --> 00:03:12,993
You have been
Working at cheers
For four years,
64
00:03:12,993 --> 00:03:15,463
And you have never
Taken one vacation.
65
00:03:15,463 --> 00:03:19,099
That's true.
I have a perfect
Attendance record.
66
00:03:19,099 --> 00:03:22,570
Well, you have to
Take one now.
It's company policy.
67
00:03:22,570 --> 00:03:24,805
Well, I don't like vacations.
I like working here.
68
00:03:24,805 --> 00:03:26,106
I like the people.
69
00:03:26,106 --> 00:03:27,908
Well, why should I leave?
What's the point?
70
00:03:27,908 --> 00:03:30,344
The point is
A happy workplace!
71
00:03:30,344 --> 00:03:31,612
The point is
Dealing with stress.
72
00:03:31,612 --> 00:03:33,213
Look at you, woody.
73
00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:36,049
Can't you see that
You're on the verge
Of an emotional burnout?
74
00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:38,118
Gee, I am beginning to feel
A little on edge.
75
00:03:40,254 --> 00:03:43,223
I'm sorry, woody.
Woody, why don't you
Just do this for me,
76
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:44,558
Please?
77
00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:46,760
Why don't you go
Take a trip and see
Your folks?
78
00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:47,961
My folks were just here.
79
00:03:47,961 --> 00:03:50,664
Whoa, woody.
Your parents were
In boston?
80
00:03:50,664 --> 00:03:52,533
Why didn't you bring
Them by to meet us?
81
00:03:52,533 --> 00:03:55,269
What, like they got
Nothing better to do?
82
00:03:55,269 --> 00:03:56,904
Good point.
83
00:03:56,904 --> 00:03:58,706
I'm gonna call
The corporate
Travel agent
84
00:03:58,706 --> 00:04:00,974
And have her create
A wonderful trip
For you, woody.
85
00:04:00,974 --> 00:04:02,710
You're gonna
Love it.
86
00:04:02,710 --> 00:04:04,578
If you say so,
Miss howe.
87
00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:06,847
Look, woody, travel
Is great.
88
00:04:06,847 --> 00:04:08,549
When I left the country
To go see expo,
89
00:04:08,549 --> 00:04:10,718
It gave me a whole new
Slant on life.
90
00:04:10,718 --> 00:04:12,085
Really?
91
00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:13,421
Oh, yeah.
You haven't lived
Until you've seen
92
00:04:13,421 --> 00:04:16,424
Bonanza dubbed
Into french canadian.
93
00:04:16,424 --> 00:04:18,191
Woody, let's go.
94
00:04:18,191 --> 00:04:20,328
So, frase,
Where's lilith
These days?
95
00:04:20,328 --> 00:04:24,932
It's been 3 or 4 weeks
Since we've seen
Old death with hips.
96
00:04:24,932 --> 00:04:27,568
You're not trying
To hide her from us,
Are you?
97
00:04:27,568 --> 00:04:29,403
No, no. Why would I do
A thing like that?
98
00:04:29,403 --> 00:04:31,405
How's she handling
Her pregnancy?
99
00:04:31,405 --> 00:04:33,206
Same as any other woman--
100
00:04:33,206 --> 00:04:35,343
Perfectly normal.
Nothing unusual.
101
00:04:35,343 --> 00:04:37,044
Well, true,
She does experience
102
00:04:37,044 --> 00:04:39,179
The occasional temporary
Hormonal imbalance,
103
00:04:39,179 --> 00:04:40,348
But you know lilith.
104
00:04:40,348 --> 00:04:42,149
She's so repressed
Emotionally that
105
00:04:42,149 --> 00:04:43,784
Only her husband
Would notice.
106
00:04:45,218 --> 00:04:47,955
Lay your hands
Upon me, everyone.
107
00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:49,457
I am life.
108
00:04:53,994 --> 00:04:55,195
Oh, boy.
109
00:04:56,764 --> 00:04:58,632
I am mother.
110
00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:01,034
My man's seed
Is nourished within me.
111
00:05:02,736 --> 00:05:04,638
Touch my breasts,
My friend.
112
00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:05,973
I am lactating.
113
00:05:11,445 --> 00:05:13,113
Well, I tell you,
114
00:05:13,113 --> 00:05:15,248
This is kind
Of a first for me,
115
00:05:15,248 --> 00:05:16,684
But I'm
Going to pass.
116
00:05:18,486 --> 00:05:20,554
Forgive me
For bursting in on you
117
00:05:20,554 --> 00:05:23,424
But the little bud
Couldn't bear to be parted
From his/her daddy
118
00:05:23,424 --> 00:05:25,225
Another instant.
119
00:05:25,225 --> 00:05:28,295
Whisper to him/her
Through my navel.
120
00:05:28,295 --> 00:05:31,365
Um, later, after
I finish this drink.
121
00:05:31,365 --> 00:05:33,734
Perhaps a few more.
122
00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:37,204
Oh, carla,
Sister-woman...
123
00:05:37,204 --> 00:05:39,373
Why didn't you ever
Share with me
124
00:05:39,373 --> 00:05:41,442
The religious wonder
Of this experience
125
00:05:41,442 --> 00:05:43,711
When you were
Great with child?
126
00:05:43,711 --> 00:05:45,813
I was too busy puking.
127
00:05:45,813 --> 00:05:47,180
A small price to pay
128
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:49,082
For becoming
A fountain of life.
129
00:05:49,082 --> 00:05:51,284
A moist, nourishing
Acre of loam,
130
00:05:51,284 --> 00:05:54,955
From which shall spring
The future of the human race.
131
00:05:54,955 --> 00:05:56,857
Speaking of puking,
132
00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:59,493
Would you excuse me
For a minute?
133
00:05:59,493 --> 00:06:01,495
I am a cradle of life.
134
00:06:01,495 --> 00:06:04,297
My womb is the tigris
And the euphrates.
135
00:06:04,297 --> 00:06:06,534
I am a slender tendril
Reaching back
136
00:06:06,534 --> 00:06:07,835
To the primordial ooze.
137
00:06:10,838 --> 00:06:12,906
I'm planning on
Having her committed.
138
00:06:14,475 --> 00:06:17,344
It must've been a very
Difficult decision
For you.
139
00:06:17,344 --> 00:06:19,713
Oddly enough, no.
140
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:23,784
Ooh! I don't know
What they did
With the birth goo,
141
00:06:23,784 --> 00:06:25,285
And I don't
Want to know.
142
00:06:25,285 --> 00:06:27,988
But the placenta is
The tidal pool of life.
143
00:06:27,988 --> 00:06:29,657
I'm planting mine
Under a tree
In the backyard
144
00:06:29,657 --> 00:06:33,060
So my nutrients
Can feed its roots.
145
00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:35,696
I shall become
One with the planet.
146
00:06:35,696 --> 00:06:38,899
I shall suckle
The earth itself.
147
00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:40,067
I shall unite with--
148
00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:43,771
For god's sake, woman,
Get hold of yourself!
149
00:06:43,771 --> 00:06:46,807
You're having a baby!
Big deal.
150
00:06:46,807 --> 00:06:48,341
A fly is a mother
A thousand times.
151
00:06:48,341 --> 00:06:49,877
You don't see her making
An ass of herself
152
00:06:49,877 --> 00:06:53,213
In front of her
Husband's friends.
153
00:06:53,213 --> 00:06:55,348
I beg your pardon.
154
00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:57,718
Well, lilith,
It was fine in the
Privacy of our own home,
155
00:06:57,718 --> 00:06:59,286
But, I mean, now
You're embarrassing me
156
00:06:59,286 --> 00:07:01,188
In front of people
Who would like to be
My peers.
157
00:07:05,659 --> 00:07:07,728
I'm sorry, frasier.
158
00:07:07,728 --> 00:07:09,396
I thought
You were as enraptured
159
00:07:09,396 --> 00:07:11,532
By this life force
We're creating as I am.
160
00:07:11,532 --> 00:07:13,266
Well,
I am in theory.
161
00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:14,902
Oh, yes.
Well, that's right.
162
00:07:14,902 --> 00:07:17,137
For the man,
It's all theory.
163
00:07:17,137 --> 00:07:18,539
For the mother,
It's the deepest,
164
00:07:18,539 --> 00:07:21,742
Richest, most moving,
All-encompassing love
165
00:07:21,742 --> 00:07:23,043
You'd ever hope
To imagine,
166
00:07:23,043 --> 00:07:24,612
But I'll suppress it
For you.
167
00:07:24,612 --> 00:07:27,548
Are you happy?
168
00:07:27,548 --> 00:07:29,282
That's my girl.
169
00:07:30,417 --> 00:07:33,554
Lilith,
You misunderstood.
170
00:07:33,554 --> 00:07:35,055
I loved it.
171
00:07:35,055 --> 00:07:37,357
Darling? Angel face?
172
00:07:37,357 --> 00:07:38,992
Pea pod?
173
00:07:38,992 --> 00:07:41,328
He's a dead man.
174
00:07:41,328 --> 00:07:42,996
Yeah, put the tag
On his toe,
175
00:07:42,996 --> 00:07:44,431
Close the drawer.
176
00:07:51,839 --> 00:07:54,174
Hey, normie,
Looky here.
Yeah?
177
00:07:54,174 --> 00:07:56,476
I was on my route,
Somebody gave me
A box of chocolates.
178
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:59,246
You want one?
179
00:07:59,246 --> 00:08:01,048
Yeah.
Here you go.
180
00:08:01,048 --> 00:08:02,683
Assortment, huh?
181
00:08:02,683 --> 00:08:03,817
You know, I like
Butter creams,
182
00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:06,086
But I can never tell
Which one's which.
183
00:08:07,921 --> 00:08:09,456
No.
184
00:08:11,892 --> 00:08:13,561
Not this one,
Either.
185
00:08:16,229 --> 00:08:18,365
Hey, frase.
186
00:08:18,365 --> 00:08:19,767
What's the latest
With madame ovary?
187
00:08:23,971 --> 00:08:26,640
Oh, she's fine.
188
00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:29,109
You don't sound
Too happy about it.
189
00:08:29,109 --> 00:08:31,311
Well, frankly, sam,
I'm not.
190
00:08:31,311 --> 00:08:32,946
I feel like hell
For what I said to her
The other day.
191
00:08:32,946 --> 00:08:35,115
I've taken the most
Beautiful experience
Of her life
192
00:08:35,115 --> 00:08:39,953
And turned it
Into something as pedestrian
As flossing one's teeth.
193
00:08:39,953 --> 00:08:42,289
I wish I could take back
Every hateful word I said.
194
00:08:42,289 --> 00:08:46,594
Frase--no. Nougat.
195
00:08:46,594 --> 00:08:48,796
Vera and I have this
Little technique
That we use
196
00:08:48,796 --> 00:08:51,464
That whenever we
Say something
That we regret
197
00:08:51,464 --> 00:08:52,866
To each other,
198
00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:54,434
We agree never to
Talk about it again,
199
00:08:54,434 --> 00:08:56,036
And it works
Like a charm.
200
00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:58,138
Well, norm,
I don't agree.
201
00:08:58,138 --> 00:08:59,873
Once you start
To bury your feelings,
202
00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:01,241
You stop talking.
203
00:09:01,241 --> 00:09:02,843
You finally don't spend
Any time together at all.
204
00:09:02,843 --> 00:09:04,845
Right.
Works like a charm.
205
00:09:08,315 --> 00:09:10,017
Do you believe that?
206
00:09:10,017 --> 00:09:11,151
An entire
Box of chocolates
207
00:09:11,151 --> 00:09:13,253
And not one
Butter cream.
208
00:09:13,253 --> 00:09:14,321
I hate that!
209
00:09:17,658 --> 00:09:20,060
Woody,
Your passport came.
210
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:21,061
Thanks, miss howe.
211
00:09:22,129 --> 00:09:24,798
Gee, woody, where
Are you going?
212
00:09:24,798 --> 00:09:26,834
Oh, I'm going to venice
And then florence.
213
00:09:26,834 --> 00:09:29,136
Then I got to see
The seven hills of
Something or other,
214
00:09:29,136 --> 00:09:30,604
I don't know.
215
00:09:30,604 --> 00:09:32,539
Woody,
You're gonna love italy.
216
00:09:32,539 --> 00:09:34,574
I'll never forget
My first trip--
217
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:35,976
Bunking
In youth hostels,
218
00:09:35,976 --> 00:09:37,745
Thumbing rides,
219
00:09:37,745 --> 00:09:40,380
This wild fling
With this crazy italian boy
220
00:09:40,380 --> 00:09:42,115
Who never
Told me his name,
221
00:09:42,115 --> 00:09:44,818
And then one night
Getting hold of
Some cheap wine
222
00:09:44,818 --> 00:09:46,319
And getting
Really plastered
223
00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:50,658
And ripping off
All my clothes and...
224
00:09:50,658 --> 00:09:52,893
Changing
For choir practice.
225
00:09:52,893 --> 00:09:54,662
I was
With my church group.
226
00:09:55,963 --> 00:09:59,867
Seems like you used
To be a lot more fun
Back then.
227
00:09:59,867 --> 00:10:03,170
When did you lose
This childlike
Love of life?
228
00:10:03,170 --> 00:10:04,571
And why couldn't
I have known you
229
00:10:04,571 --> 00:10:06,473
Back when you were
Cheap and slutty?
230
00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:11,845
What's this, miss howe?
231
00:10:11,845 --> 00:10:13,647
Oh, they just
Want to know
Who to notify
232
00:10:13,647 --> 00:10:15,615
In case of death
Or accident.
233
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:18,251
What do they think
Is gonna happen to me
Over there?
234
00:10:18,251 --> 00:10:19,519
They don't think
Anything is gonna
Happen, woody.
235
00:10:19,519 --> 00:10:21,855
Just calm down.
236
00:10:21,855 --> 00:10:23,556
What's this
About not smuggling
237
00:10:23,556 --> 00:10:25,025
Foreign meats
Into the country?
238
00:10:25,025 --> 00:10:27,394
What's wrong
With foreign meat?
239
00:10:27,394 --> 00:10:28,528
And if there is something
Wrong with it,
240
00:10:28,528 --> 00:10:29,629
What's going
To happen to me
241
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:32,165
After I've been
Eating it for a week?
242
00:10:32,165 --> 00:10:35,568
And look. It says here if I
Mutilate this passport,
243
00:10:35,568 --> 00:10:37,304
It renders it invalid?
244
00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:39,639
Suppose I'm just about
To go through
U.S. Customs,
245
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:42,542
Some crazy person
Breaks into my luggage,
Mutilates my passport,
246
00:10:42,542 --> 00:10:44,444
And fills my suitcase
Full of meat.
247
00:10:48,816 --> 00:10:51,584
That's a chance
All travelers take.
248
00:10:56,589 --> 00:11:02,195
Why, there's my kanga
And her little roo.
249
00:11:02,195 --> 00:11:03,463
Do you feel
The butterfly of life
250
00:11:03,463 --> 00:11:05,065
Fluttering within you?
251
00:11:05,065 --> 00:11:07,701
It's either that
Or gas.
252
00:11:07,701 --> 00:11:08,769
Could I speak with you
For a moment
253
00:11:08,769 --> 00:11:10,237
In relative privacy?
254
00:11:10,237 --> 00:11:12,072
Of course.
255
00:11:12,072 --> 00:11:13,306
Now, I know
You don't want me
256
00:11:13,306 --> 00:11:14,808
Carrying on
About the pregnancy,
257
00:11:14,808 --> 00:11:16,844
And, believe me,
I don't intend to,
258
00:11:16,844 --> 00:11:19,279
But I thought as a doctor
You might like
To hear one thing.
259
00:11:30,824 --> 00:11:33,794
What is that?
260
00:11:33,794 --> 00:11:35,528
It sounds like--
261
00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:36,897
It is.
262
00:11:36,897 --> 00:11:39,900
Is it...
A little heartbeat?
263
00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:42,469
My child's
Heartbeat.
264
00:11:42,469 --> 00:11:44,938
Life. I am
A giver of life.
265
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:48,842
I have planted my seed.
266
00:11:48,842 --> 00:11:52,212
I am your fertile ground.
267
00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:54,514
Lo, see what
We have wrought.
268
00:11:54,514 --> 00:11:56,549
Let's go sleep
On the roof nude, my dear,
269
00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:58,685
And let the rain
Nourish our child.
270
00:11:58,685 --> 00:12:01,588
Yes, why not?
Nude and unashamed.
271
00:12:01,588 --> 00:12:03,090
Why should we be
Ashamed?
272
00:12:03,090 --> 00:12:05,458
Our child will
Never be ashamed.
273
00:12:05,458 --> 00:12:06,659
Want to bet?
274
00:12:15,035 --> 00:12:17,805
Oh, woodman,
Today's the day, huh?
275
00:12:17,805 --> 00:12:19,706
Yeah. You ready for
The big trip, bud?
276
00:12:19,706 --> 00:12:21,842
I guess so. I'm just
Going through this book
277
00:12:21,842 --> 00:12:25,078
Trying to put together a few
Useful italian phrases.
278
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:26,346
Let's hear one.
279
00:12:26,346 --> 00:12:27,781
All right.
280
00:12:27,781 --> 00:12:31,418
"Sono stato
Rendimente straziato
281
00:12:31,418 --> 00:12:34,321
"En un disastro
Fraviare.
282
00:12:34,321 --> 00:12:37,390
Per fervoro,
Spertime."
283
00:12:37,390 --> 00:12:39,793
That's great.
What's it mean?
284
00:12:39,793 --> 00:12:42,262
I have been
Hideously mangled
In a train accident.
285
00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:43,563
Please shoot me.
286
00:12:46,533 --> 00:12:48,869
Woody.
287
00:12:51,738 --> 00:12:53,506
Greetings, everyone.
288
00:12:53,506 --> 00:12:55,208
Ho. My goodness.
289
00:12:55,208 --> 00:12:59,112
What time are you two
Due at the square dance?
290
00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:00,713
I'll thank you
To be serious.
291
00:13:00,713 --> 00:13:02,182
My woman
Made this shirt.
292
00:13:02,182 --> 00:13:03,383
It's my first.
293
00:13:07,154 --> 00:13:09,089
Yes, we've decided
To stopped
Parasitically
294
00:13:09,089 --> 00:13:10,924
Living off
The labor of others.
295
00:13:10,924 --> 00:13:12,960
From now on,
We provide
For ourselves.
296
00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:14,427
We've been examining
Our lives,
297
00:13:14,427 --> 00:13:16,296
And we've discovered
Some frightening things.
298
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:19,599
You finally found diane
Walled up in frasier's
Crawl space?
299
00:13:24,204 --> 00:13:25,839
We're so civilized,
300
00:13:25,839 --> 00:13:28,675
We've cut ourselves off
From our true
Animal nature.
301
00:13:28,675 --> 00:13:31,711
Accordingly, we've
Decided to forsake
The city
302
00:13:31,711 --> 00:13:33,313
And go live
In the wilderness.
303
00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:35,983
Yes. We're going to
Leave behind
The 20th century,
304
00:13:35,983 --> 00:13:38,351
And I will build a cabin
With my own two hands
305
00:13:38,351 --> 00:13:39,786
And the sweat
Of my brow.
306
00:13:39,786 --> 00:13:41,121
You guys want these
Pretzels?
307
00:13:41,121 --> 00:13:42,555
Uh, no.
No thank you.
308
00:13:42,555 --> 00:13:44,557
From now on,
I only eat
What I kill.
309
00:13:44,557 --> 00:13:46,459
Then I suggest you kill
About a half-dozen beers
310
00:13:46,459 --> 00:13:47,627
And lighten up.
311
00:13:52,232 --> 00:13:55,302
Don't you think you guys
Are getting a little
Carried away?
312
00:13:55,302 --> 00:13:57,938
I mean, all of us want
To chuck it all sometimes,
313
00:13:57,938 --> 00:14:00,040
But you can live to regret
That kind of thing.
314
00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:02,976
I mean, believe me, I know
What I'm talking about.
315
00:14:02,976 --> 00:14:04,344
Sammy, excuse me.
316
00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:06,479
You're not gonna
Tell that long,
Boring story
317
00:14:06,479 --> 00:14:07,714
About how you
Sold the bar
318
00:14:07,714 --> 00:14:09,616
And bought a boat
To sail around
The world
319
00:14:09,616 --> 00:14:11,251
And then the boat
Sank, are you?
320
00:14:11,251 --> 00:14:12,953
No, norm.
321
00:14:15,255 --> 00:14:17,958
Come on.
I'm perfectly aware
322
00:14:17,958 --> 00:14:19,960
How that turning point
In my life
323
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,262
Means nothing to you.
324
00:14:22,262 --> 00:14:25,532
So I'm going
To tell a story about...
325
00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:28,168
A friend of mine
Who bought a truck
326
00:14:28,168 --> 00:14:29,569
To drive
Around the world.
327
00:14:33,306 --> 00:14:36,143
Sam, if this story
Is meant
To discourage us,
328
00:14:36,143 --> 00:14:37,877
It's going to fall
On deaf ears.
329
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:39,412
I have already burned
Our last bridge.
330
00:14:39,412 --> 00:14:41,982
I'm proud to announce
That the doctor has
Given up his practice.
331
00:14:41,982 --> 00:14:43,816
You did what?
Oh, come on.
332
00:14:43,816 --> 00:14:46,353
Yes. We put our house
On the market,
333
00:14:46,353 --> 00:14:48,188
I helped lilith compose
Her letter of
Resignation
334
00:14:48,188 --> 00:14:49,856
To boston general,
335
00:14:49,856 --> 00:14:52,960
And I just cancelled
My paranoia workshop.
336
00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:55,128
So all we need to do now
Is buy a stout ax
337
00:14:55,128 --> 00:14:56,729
And a plot of land
In the wilderness.
338
00:14:56,729 --> 00:14:59,666
And I'll stand by your side
And bear your young
And cook your meals.
339
00:14:59,666 --> 00:15:01,801
Try not
To get them mixed up.
340
00:15:06,073 --> 00:15:09,009
No. Wait. Whoa. Hold it.
Listen.
341
00:15:09,009 --> 00:15:11,811
Have either of you
Even lived outside
Of the city?
342
00:15:11,811 --> 00:15:14,047
Well, I admit
We are urbanites,
343
00:15:14,047 --> 00:15:15,448
But we've always
Enjoyed the country
344
00:15:15,448 --> 00:15:16,816
Whenever we've
Flown over it.
345
00:15:19,186 --> 00:15:23,023
Listen. Why don't you try
Living, you know, for
A week in the woods?
346
00:15:23,023 --> 00:15:24,591
See how you like it.
347
00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:26,226
Well, that's
A possibility.
348
00:15:26,226 --> 00:15:28,328
Hey, as a matter of fact,
A friend of mine
349
00:15:28,328 --> 00:15:30,530
Has a cabin
In northern maine.
350
00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:32,432
Sammy, he didn't
Take it around
The world, did he?
351
00:15:37,971 --> 00:15:41,074
Why don't you
Just borrow it
For a little while?
352
00:15:41,074 --> 00:15:43,076
See how
You like it, huh?
353
00:15:43,076 --> 00:15:44,978
Well, it's
A tempting thought.
354
00:15:44,978 --> 00:15:46,279
What do you think,
Lilith?
355
00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:47,981
Well, it's possible.
356
00:15:47,981 --> 00:15:50,217
We could put
Our careers on hold
Just for now
357
00:15:50,217 --> 00:15:51,384
And take a few days off
Next week
358
00:15:51,384 --> 00:15:53,386
To become one with nature.
359
00:15:53,386 --> 00:15:54,521
By george,
We'll do it.
360
00:15:54,521 --> 00:15:55,722
Next week,
It's into the woods.
361
00:15:55,722 --> 00:15:57,157
Great.
Thank you,
Sam.
362
00:15:57,157 --> 00:16:01,028
Oh, gee. If I run,
I can make my 3:00.
363
00:16:01,028 --> 00:16:04,297
But, dear,
You just cancelled
Your paranoia workshop.
364
00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:05,732
Oh, right.
365
00:16:05,732 --> 00:16:07,134
Well, I'll deny it
366
00:16:07,134 --> 00:16:08,135
And tell them it's part
Of a government conspiracy.
367
00:16:08,135 --> 00:16:09,402
They'll eat that up.
368
00:16:23,516 --> 00:16:26,253
It's perfect.
369
00:16:26,253 --> 00:16:28,021
Not quite.
370
00:16:28,021 --> 00:16:29,389
What's this
Abomination?
371
00:16:36,463 --> 00:16:41,568
There. Now we can live
Like our forefathers.
372
00:16:41,568 --> 00:16:43,303
I will go, my love.
373
00:16:43,303 --> 00:16:44,971
And I will go
To innisfree
374
00:16:44,971 --> 00:16:46,439
And a cabin
Build there,
375
00:16:46,439 --> 00:16:49,442
Of clay
And wattles made.
376
00:16:49,442 --> 00:16:52,479
Frasier, dearest,
I feel the coldness.
377
00:16:52,479 --> 00:16:53,846
It's good.
378
00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:55,782
Let's celebrate
The coldness.
379
00:16:57,684 --> 00:16:59,119
There. That's done.
380
00:16:59,119 --> 00:17:02,189
Now let's
Celebrate warmness,
And quickly.
381
00:17:02,189 --> 00:17:03,923
Yes. Warmth.
382
00:17:03,923 --> 00:17:06,759
I will give
My family warmth.
383
00:17:06,759 --> 00:17:08,795
Where are the matches?
384
00:17:08,795 --> 00:17:10,230
I thought
You brought them.
385
00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:11,931
Are you telling me
You didn't bring any matches?
386
00:17:11,931 --> 00:17:15,468
No, I'm telling you
You didn't bring
Any matches.
387
00:17:15,468 --> 00:17:18,105
Well, not to worry.
Even better.
388
00:17:18,105 --> 00:17:20,340
Right. We'll do as
Our forebears did.
389
00:17:20,340 --> 00:17:22,075
Yes. I'll
Go slit open a moose,
390
00:17:22,075 --> 00:17:25,778
And we can climb in
And bunk there
For the night.
391
00:17:25,778 --> 00:17:27,547
It's pioneer humor.
392
00:17:28,848 --> 00:17:30,517
Well, our forebears
Laughed.
393
00:17:33,220 --> 00:17:35,522
Oh. Here's
Just the thing.
394
00:17:35,522 --> 00:17:36,923
[muttering]
395
00:18:02,282 --> 00:18:04,584
Frasier,
What are you doing?
396
00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:07,120
Well, I'm striking
Two stones together
To get a spark.
397
00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:09,055
Ah. Then
Be ready to jump back
398
00:18:09,055 --> 00:18:12,425
Lest a flame
Singe your eyebrows.
399
00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:14,194
Lilith, please. I've never
Done this before,
400
00:18:14,194 --> 00:18:15,962
And I could use some support.
401
00:18:15,962 --> 00:18:17,264
Well, if you don't know
What you're doing,
402
00:18:17,264 --> 00:18:19,432
Why did you drag me
Up here in the dead
Of winter?
403
00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:21,334
Because that's when
You just happened
To get pregnant.
404
00:18:21,334 --> 00:18:26,005
No, I think that's when
You just happened
To knock me up.
405
00:18:26,005 --> 00:18:27,640
No, I think that's when
You just happened
406
00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:31,077
To forget
To take your pill.
407
00:18:31,077 --> 00:18:33,846
I sense civilization
Creeping in.
408
00:18:33,846 --> 00:18:35,982
My wild asparagus,
Forgive me.
409
00:18:35,982 --> 00:18:38,017
No. It's I who
Should apologize.
410
00:18:38,017 --> 00:18:40,720
We don't need a fire.
We have our body heat
To keep us warm.
411
00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:43,190
No, no, my wife and child
Need a fire,
412
00:18:43,190 --> 00:18:45,057
And I'm going to build it
For them if it takes all day.
413
00:18:45,057 --> 00:18:47,160
And we'll stand right
By you while you do it.
414
00:18:51,664 --> 00:18:52,999
Say, lilith,
You know,
415
00:18:52,999 --> 00:18:54,701
It might help me
To get a rhythm going
416
00:18:54,701 --> 00:18:56,736
If you would sing
One of those
Simple work songs
417
00:18:56,736 --> 00:18:59,472
That our forefathers
So beloved.
418
00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:01,541
I don't know
Any work songs.
419
00:19:01,541 --> 00:19:03,776
Well, sing whatever
You do know.
420
00:19:03,776 --> 00:19:05,478
I only know one song.
421
00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:06,546
Well, sing that, then.
422
00:19:08,715 --> 00:19:12,219
* my funny valentine *
423
00:19:12,219 --> 00:19:15,955
* sweet,
Comic valentine *
424
00:19:15,955 --> 00:19:20,227
* you make me smile
With my heart **
425
00:19:24,564 --> 00:19:26,733
Hey, everybody!
426
00:19:26,733 --> 00:19:30,002
Hey! Woody, man,
How was your vacation?
427
00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:32,305
I never had
So much fun
In my whole life.
428
00:19:32,305 --> 00:19:34,307
Oh, I knew
You'd love italy
429
00:19:34,307 --> 00:19:35,508
If you'd just
Give it a chance.
430
00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:37,777
Oh, well, I never
Actually made it
To italy.
431
00:19:37,777 --> 00:19:39,178
What?
432
00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:41,214
Yeah. I fell asleep
And missed
My flight.
433
00:19:41,214 --> 00:19:42,682
Ok, pay up.
Pay up.
434
00:19:45,285 --> 00:19:47,920
So, woody,
Where were you
All week?
435
00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:49,922
The airport.
436
00:19:49,922 --> 00:19:51,491
It was great.
437
00:19:51,491 --> 00:19:53,293
I met people
From all over
The world.
438
00:19:55,362 --> 00:19:58,265
You spent
Your entire vacation
At the airport?
439
00:19:58,265 --> 00:20:02,134
Oh, yeah.
I mean, at first
I felt terrible
440
00:20:02,134 --> 00:20:03,202
About
Missing my flight,
441
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:04,371
But then
I started talking
442
00:20:04,371 --> 00:20:05,805
To this really
Nice guy,
443
00:20:05,805 --> 00:20:07,607
And it turned out
He's from india.
444
00:20:07,607 --> 00:20:09,642
Can you
Imagine that?
445
00:20:09,642 --> 00:20:14,046
I'm from indiana,
And he's from india?
446
00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:17,317
We laughed
About that
For hours.
447
00:20:17,317 --> 00:20:19,619
At least,
I think that's what
He was laughing at.
448
00:20:22,355 --> 00:20:25,458
Well, I'm glad
You had a good time, woody.
449
00:20:25,458 --> 00:20:27,059
I didn't
Expect you back today.
450
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:30,897
I thought you needed rest,
So I didn't schedule you
Until tomorrow.
451
00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:33,600
Great.
I'm outta here.
452
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:35,402
Where are you going?
453
00:20:35,402 --> 00:20:37,470
I hear great things
About the bus depot.
454
00:20:45,478 --> 00:20:49,916
* stay,
Little valentine *
455
00:20:49,916 --> 00:20:53,586
* stay *
456
00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:55,422
* each day is-- **
457
00:20:55,422 --> 00:20:56,723
Shut up!
458
00:21:02,429 --> 00:21:05,698
Ow! Ow!
459
00:21:05,698 --> 00:21:07,667
Oh, no. Oh, god.
460
00:21:07,667 --> 00:21:08,768
My finger's going
To turn black now,
461
00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:10,770
And the nail's
Going to fall off.
462
00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:13,540
No one said
Life in the wilderness
Would be easy.
463
00:21:13,540 --> 00:21:14,874
Here. Let me try.
464
00:21:14,874 --> 00:21:16,275
No. No, lilith.
465
00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:17,744
I must get back up
On that horse.
466
00:21:28,521 --> 00:21:30,357
A spark!
467
00:21:30,357 --> 00:21:32,359
Lilith, did you see that?
I made a spark.
468
00:21:32,359 --> 00:21:33,893
I knew you could
Do it.
469
00:21:33,893 --> 00:21:36,128
This is the most
Glorious moment
In my life.
470
00:21:36,128 --> 00:21:38,064
I've never felt so proud
And triumphant.
471
00:21:38,064 --> 00:21:40,767
No prouder than I,
My prometheus.
472
00:21:40,767 --> 00:21:44,871
Lilith, with these two rocks,
I can accomplish anything.
473
00:21:44,871 --> 00:21:46,706
I've never felt
Closer to you.
474
00:21:46,706 --> 00:21:47,907
Nor I you.
475
00:21:50,477 --> 00:21:54,947
Of course,
We haven't actually
Achieved fire yet.
476
00:21:54,947 --> 00:21:58,150
Ah. Good point.
477
00:21:58,150 --> 00:22:00,252
Say, you know what?
Grab some more
Of that paper,
478
00:22:00,252 --> 00:22:01,421
And we'll wad it up
479
00:22:01,421 --> 00:22:05,257
And use it
To catch it on the spark.
480
00:22:05,257 --> 00:22:06,993
Thank you, dear.
481
00:22:06,993 --> 00:22:08,995
Oh, a boston paper.
482
00:22:08,995 --> 00:22:10,329
Is it?
483
00:22:10,329 --> 00:22:11,731
The restaurant
Review section.
484
00:22:11,731 --> 00:22:13,099
Restaurants. Ha!
485
00:22:13,099 --> 00:22:15,635
Of course,
They're raving
About la porta's.
486
00:22:15,635 --> 00:22:18,237
$200 for a dinner.
How decadent.
487
00:22:18,237 --> 00:22:19,606
No doubt about it,
488
00:22:19,606 --> 00:22:21,608
Our society is in decay.
489
00:22:21,608 --> 00:22:24,110
Can you believe
We actually
Frequented that place?
490
00:22:24,110 --> 00:22:25,912
Perfumed and pompous.
491
00:22:25,912 --> 00:22:27,547
Living off
The labor of others.
492
00:22:27,547 --> 00:22:29,816
Eating the flesh
Of animals
We didn't even kill.
493
00:22:31,951 --> 00:22:33,386
It was good, though.
494
00:22:34,954 --> 00:22:37,657
The tarragon glaze
Was impeccable.
495
00:22:37,657 --> 00:22:40,292
The creme brulee
Was a poem.
496
00:22:40,292 --> 00:22:42,361
Of course, quality
Isn't the point.
497
00:22:42,361 --> 00:22:43,863
No. It's a moral issue.
498
00:22:43,863 --> 00:22:45,532
And if it's food
You want, why,
499
00:22:45,532 --> 00:22:47,767
I'll cook you a hearty
American meal--
500
00:22:47,767 --> 00:22:51,504
Lentils and okra
Over our open fire.
501
00:22:51,504 --> 00:22:53,272
My mouth
Is watering already.
502
00:22:57,744 --> 00:22:59,479
Lilith, I'm
Thinking something.
503
00:23:00,713 --> 00:23:04,183
And I think you're
Thinking it, too.
504
00:23:04,183 --> 00:23:05,585
But neither of us
Wants to admit that
We're thinking it
505
00:23:05,585 --> 00:23:07,487
For fear that the other one
Isn't thinking it.
506
00:23:07,487 --> 00:23:09,522
So I think it's very important
507
00:23:09,522 --> 00:23:13,926
That we both say
What we're thinking
Simultaneously
508
00:23:13,926 --> 00:23:15,762
If indeed we are
Thinking the same thing,
509
00:23:15,762 --> 00:23:20,399
And I think we are.
So, are you ready?
510
00:23:20,399 --> 00:23:22,368
I want to go home.
511
00:23:23,636 --> 00:23:26,439
Say, if we drive 70
All the way,
512
00:23:26,439 --> 00:23:28,374
Do you think
We can make it to la porta's
For the 10:00 seating?
513
00:23:28,374 --> 00:23:29,476
I don't think so.
514
00:23:29,476 --> 00:23:30,843
Then we'll
Charter a plane.
515
00:23:30,843 --> 00:23:32,244
That's the beauty
Of civilization.
516
00:23:32,244 --> 00:23:33,813
You can buy anything.
37782
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