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1
00:00:03,471 --> 00:00:05,173
"Cheers" is filmed before
A live studio audience.
2
00:00:08,142 --> 00:00:09,677
You missing
Something,
Woody?
3
00:00:09,677 --> 00:00:12,146
Yeah. Well, I had
A $20 bill in my pocket.
4
00:00:12,146 --> 00:00:13,481
Now it's gone.
5
00:00:13,481 --> 00:00:15,783
Say good-bye to
That andy jackson.
6
00:00:15,783 --> 00:00:18,152
See you later, andy.
7
00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:23,557
Boy, oh, boy. Talk
About your lucky days.
8
00:00:23,557 --> 00:00:26,760
Just found
20 smackers back there
In the pool room.
9
00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:28,329
To celebrate my good
Fortune,
10
00:00:28,329 --> 00:00:29,797
I'm gonna buy
A round drinks
For all my friends.
11
00:00:29,797 --> 00:00:32,733
What are you gonna
Do with the other
19 bucks?
12
00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:35,836
Woody, that could be
Your $20 bill,
13
00:00:35,836 --> 00:00:37,805
The one you lost.
14
00:00:37,805 --> 00:00:40,674
Yeah. You know, I was in
The poolroom earlier.
15
00:00:40,674 --> 00:00:42,776
Wait a second.
Let's be fair
About this.
16
00:00:42,776 --> 00:00:44,212
Give me
The serial number.
17
00:00:44,212 --> 00:00:46,247
Oh, come on, man.
18
00:00:46,247 --> 00:00:48,048
Nobody knows
Serial numbers.
19
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:52,586
L21886119b.
20
00:00:56,324 --> 00:00:57,725
That's amazing.
21
00:00:59,793 --> 00:01:01,295
How'd you do that?
22
00:01:01,295 --> 00:01:04,498
I memorize
The serial numbers
On all my currency.
23
00:01:04,498 --> 00:01:05,933
Why?
24
00:01:05,933 --> 00:01:08,802
For just
Such an occasion.
25
00:01:08,802 --> 00:01:12,072
I tell you, though,
I pray every day
I don't get rich.
26
00:01:17,878 --> 00:01:20,414
* makin' your way
In the world today *
27
00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:23,484
* takes everything
You've got *
28
00:01:23,484 --> 00:01:26,120
* takin' a break
From all your worries *
29
00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:28,456
* sure would
Help a lot *
30
00:01:29,623 --> 00:01:32,760
* wouldn't you like
To get away *
31
00:01:35,496 --> 00:01:37,298
* sometimes
You wanna go *
32
00:01:37,298 --> 00:01:40,834
* where everybody
Knows your name *
33
00:01:42,703 --> 00:01:45,773
* and they're always
Glad you came *
34
00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:49,810
* you wanna be
Where you can see *
35
00:01:49,810 --> 00:01:52,246
* our troubles
Are all the same *
36
00:01:52,246 --> 00:01:53,547
* you wanna be *
37
00:01:53,547 --> 00:01:56,550
* where everybody
Knows your name *
38
00:01:57,751 --> 00:02:00,421
* you wanna go
Where people know *
39
00:02:00,421 --> 00:02:02,790
* people are
All the same *
40
00:02:02,790 --> 00:02:03,857
* you wanna go *
41
00:02:03,857 --> 00:02:07,361
* where everybody
Knows your name **
42
00:02:26,847 --> 00:02:28,249
Oh, groom.
43
00:02:28,249 --> 00:02:29,850
Mm-hmm.
44
00:02:29,850 --> 00:02:31,685
Sweetheart,
We're going to
Have to decide
45
00:02:31,685 --> 00:02:34,288
Where we're going
For our honeymoon.
46
00:02:34,288 --> 00:02:36,690
Where do you
Want to go?
47
00:02:36,690 --> 00:02:39,126
I don't know.
Where do you
Want to go?
48
00:02:39,126 --> 00:02:40,928
I told you where I
Want to go--tibet.
49
00:02:40,928 --> 00:02:44,698
Well, it's our honeymoon.
Of course we're
Going to bed.
50
00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:49,036
No, you wham-0.
Tibet, the country.
51
00:02:49,036 --> 00:02:50,438
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
52
00:02:51,539 --> 00:02:53,207
Sam, imagine getting up
In the morning
53
00:02:53,207 --> 00:02:56,244
And looking out on
The roof of the world.
54
00:02:56,244 --> 00:02:59,480
Look where we'd stay.
Isn't it quaint?
55
00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:01,349
Looks like
Where the dogs sleep.
56
00:03:01,349 --> 00:03:03,083
It is. The dogs
Sleep with us.
57
00:03:03,083 --> 00:03:05,586
You wouldn't want
To freeze to death,
Would you?
58
00:03:05,586 --> 00:03:09,357
Diane,
I didn't sleep with dogs
When I was single.
59
00:03:09,357 --> 00:03:11,725
I'm not about
To start now.
60
00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:15,095
For goodness sake,
Don't you want to taste
61
00:03:15,095 --> 00:03:18,999
The exciting
And fascinating things
That life has to offer?
62
00:03:18,999 --> 00:03:21,669
Nope. I'd rather
Marry you.
63
00:03:24,171 --> 00:03:25,706
Afternoon, everybody.
64
00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:27,040
Norm!
Norm!
65
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:29,343
Mr. Peterson,
What do you say
To a cold one?
66
00:03:29,343 --> 00:03:33,281
"See you later, vera.
I'll be at cheers."
67
00:03:33,281 --> 00:03:35,483
You're looking
Unusually
Chipper today.
68
00:03:35,483 --> 00:03:37,318
I'm feeling kind
Of chipper.
69
00:03:37,318 --> 00:03:40,488
Is there any particular
Reason other than the fact
We live in a democracy
70
00:03:40,488 --> 00:03:42,356
And sushi bars appear
To be on the decline?
71
00:03:42,356 --> 00:03:43,924
Well, I was gonna
Tell vera first,
72
00:03:43,924 --> 00:03:46,294
But why break tradition?
I just landed a
Great new job
73
00:03:46,294 --> 00:03:48,362
At masters
And holly and dixon.
74
00:03:48,362 --> 00:03:49,697
Oh, wonderful.
75
00:03:49,697 --> 00:03:52,466
It's one of the top
Cpa firms in boston.
76
00:03:52,466 --> 00:03:54,502
Yes, I hear that's
Quite a successful firm.
77
00:03:54,502 --> 00:03:56,203
You know, over half
Of their executives
78
00:03:56,203 --> 00:03:57,371
Require therapy on
A regular basis.
79
00:03:57,371 --> 00:03:58,539
So here's my card.
Oh, great.
80
00:03:58,539 --> 00:04:01,074
Just in case.
Thank you.
81
00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:02,576
It's a very
Impressive place.
82
00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:04,211
They occupy
The entire 25th floor
83
00:04:04,211 --> 00:04:05,379
Of the boston towers.
84
00:04:05,379 --> 00:04:07,214
They hired you?
85
00:04:07,214 --> 00:04:08,882
Must have been
The altitude.
86
00:04:08,882 --> 00:04:11,352
Seriously, I'm sorry.
I hope this works out
87
00:04:11,352 --> 00:04:13,153
To be sort a long-term
Arrangement for you.
88
00:04:13,153 --> 00:04:18,158
Long enough anyway
For them to see you
Wear your other suit.
89
00:04:18,158 --> 00:04:19,860
Very funny,
Very funny,
You guys,
90
00:04:19,860 --> 00:04:21,729
I'll have you know
They gave me the key
91
00:04:21,729 --> 00:04:23,831
To the executive
Washroom.
92
00:04:23,831 --> 00:04:26,066
Did it come
With a bucket and mop?
93
00:04:26,066 --> 00:04:27,368
Laugh all you want,
Ok?
94
00:04:27,368 --> 00:04:31,071
I think this is
Finally the job
For me.
95
00:04:31,071 --> 00:04:33,407
I've got
A secretary, I have
An expense account,
96
00:04:33,407 --> 00:04:36,276
A ritzy office
All to myself.
97
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:37,745
Good for you, norman.
98
00:04:37,745 --> 00:04:40,514
How about
A round of applause
For our new executive?
99
00:04:43,183 --> 00:04:47,421
I started late.
I didn't want
To be impolite.
100
00:04:50,424 --> 00:04:52,225
I'm really excited
For you, norman.
101
00:04:52,225 --> 00:04:55,529
I can tell by the way
You're talking
This is the job
102
00:04:55,529 --> 00:04:58,031
That's going to fire
Your enthusiasm.
103
00:04:58,031 --> 00:04:59,266
When do you start?
104
00:04:59,266 --> 00:05:00,868
About three hours ago.
105
00:05:04,037 --> 00:05:05,473
What are you doing here?
106
00:05:05,473 --> 00:05:08,476
I didn't want to
Appear overanxious.
107
00:05:08,476 --> 00:05:10,010
No danger there,
Huh, buddy?
108
00:05:11,178 --> 00:05:13,481
No, no. I'm
On my lunch hour.
109
00:05:13,481 --> 00:05:16,249
But you know,
I could be late
If I wanted to.
110
00:05:16,249 --> 00:05:19,553
I've got free rein
Over there. I happen
To be my own boss.
111
00:05:19,553 --> 00:05:21,455
So that's how
You got the job!
112
00:05:21,455 --> 00:05:24,592
Thanks for
The sendoff, guys.
113
00:05:27,961 --> 00:05:31,098
I hope you're all
Proud of yourselves.
114
00:05:31,098 --> 00:05:33,434
Why?
What did we do?
115
00:05:33,434 --> 00:05:35,436
I think
We could've been
116
00:05:35,436 --> 00:05:38,672
A bit more thunderous
In our applause.
117
00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:39,473
Ahem!
118
00:05:39,473 --> 00:05:40,941
Except for woody.
119
00:05:42,275 --> 00:05:46,013
Sam, didn't you see
The hurt in norman's eyes?
120
00:05:46,013 --> 00:05:47,481
He was seeking
Our support and approval.
121
00:05:47,481 --> 00:05:50,484
It's his first day
On the job.
122
00:05:50,484 --> 00:05:52,486
All we did
Was give him gibes.
123
00:05:52,486 --> 00:05:53,954
Don't worry
About it,
Sweetheart.
124
00:05:53,954 --> 00:05:58,225
He's had hundreds
Of first days
On the job.
125
00:05:58,225 --> 00:06:00,928
Diane's right. It's obvious
How much we mean to him.
126
00:06:00,928 --> 00:06:02,996
I think we may have
Let him down.
127
00:06:02,996 --> 00:06:04,532
Gee, I hope not.
128
00:06:04,532 --> 00:06:05,866
Yeah, me, too.
129
00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:08,135
Too late to do anything
About that now.
130
00:06:08,135 --> 00:06:09,770
Refill, huh, sam?
131
00:06:11,171 --> 00:06:13,273
Hey,
It's not too late.
132
00:06:13,273 --> 00:06:16,209
We could march en masse
133
00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:18,879
Down to norman's office and
Show him we're in his corner.
134
00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:22,149
Sure. Perhaps buy
The new hotshot a little
Office warming gift.
135
00:06:22,149 --> 00:06:23,717
Maybe a potted plant.
136
00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:24,752
Good!
137
00:06:24,752 --> 00:06:26,319
Ok, hurry up.
Let's get going here.
138
00:06:26,319 --> 00:06:28,155
Wonderful, carla.
That's the kind
Of enthusiasm
139
00:06:28,155 --> 00:06:30,323
That's going to make
Norman feel better.
140
00:06:30,323 --> 00:06:31,692
To hell with that yutz.
141
00:06:31,692 --> 00:06:33,727
I want to go downtown
And see some yuppie buns
142
00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:35,863
In tight italian suits.
143
00:06:35,863 --> 00:06:38,198
Well, then,
It's settled.
144
00:06:38,198 --> 00:06:39,867
We'll go.
145
00:06:39,867 --> 00:06:42,636
Wish I could join you,
But I've got an appointment
At 1:00.
146
00:06:42,636 --> 00:06:43,971
Oh, what the hell?
147
00:06:43,971 --> 00:06:45,906
Mrs. Segal's rather
A compulsive cleaner.
148
00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:48,642
If I'm a little late, maybe
She'll tidy up the office.
149
00:06:48,642 --> 00:06:51,178
Give my best to norm.
150
00:06:51,178 --> 00:06:52,546
Aren't you
Coming?
151
00:06:52,546 --> 00:06:55,749
I got to take care
Of the bar here.
152
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:57,084
Oh, sam!
153
00:06:57,084 --> 00:07:00,087
We've got to
Show norman our
Impressive phalanx.
154
00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:03,691
That's all right, honey.
He saw mine at the gym.
155
00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:13,467
Cliff:
In this 1938 accident,
156
00:07:13,467 --> 00:07:15,402
The elevator
Plunged 86 floors.
157
00:07:15,402 --> 00:07:17,571
Get me out
Of this thing!
158
00:07:17,571 --> 00:07:19,573
My! What
An exquisite place
159
00:07:19,573 --> 00:07:21,575
To come to work
Every day.
160
00:07:21,575 --> 00:07:23,243
Have you ever seen
161
00:07:23,243 --> 00:07:25,045
Such sumptuous
Surroundings?
162
00:07:25,045 --> 00:07:28,148
You obviously haven't been
To the new downtown
Postal annex, diane.
163
00:07:30,584 --> 00:07:33,587
Where's woody? I
Hope he's not lost.
164
00:07:33,587 --> 00:07:35,723
Gee, what
Are the odds?
165
00:07:37,224 --> 00:07:38,592
2511. Here we are.
166
00:07:38,592 --> 00:07:42,596
Damn! I got
Another one of
Those carpet shocks.
167
00:07:42,596 --> 00:07:44,264
Carla, if you'd
Walk like a lady,
168
00:07:44,264 --> 00:07:45,599
That
Wouldn't happen.
169
00:07:45,599 --> 00:07:49,737
If I walked like a lady,
Nothing would happen.
170
00:07:53,607 --> 00:07:55,208
Sorry I'm late.
171
00:07:55,208 --> 00:07:58,345
Woody, couldn't you
Find a bigger one?
172
00:07:58,345 --> 00:07:59,747
No.
173
00:08:01,348 --> 00:08:03,617
Well, at the
Risk of sounding
Self-congratulatory,
174
00:08:03,617 --> 00:08:05,553
I think
We're fabulous.
175
00:08:05,553 --> 00:08:09,657
Just think how norman
Will appreciate this.
176
00:08:09,657 --> 00:08:11,625
You know,
I remember the first day
177
00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:14,628
I worked at
The third eye bookstore.
178
00:08:14,628 --> 00:08:17,397
Ramu was explaining
The difference
179
00:08:17,397 --> 00:08:20,033
Between psychic
And occult.
180
00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:21,168
Ouch!
181
00:08:23,637 --> 00:08:27,240
Think we could get
This carpet for the bar?
182
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:29,610
All right.
Everyone ready?
183
00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:32,813
Surprise!
184
00:08:36,049 --> 00:08:38,986
Don't you guys
Ever think about
Maybe calling first?
185
00:08:38,986 --> 00:08:41,622
Well,
We couldn't find
A phone booth...
186
00:08:41,622 --> 00:08:42,956
Till now.
187
00:08:44,958 --> 00:08:47,761
Did anybody ever see
Das boot?
188
00:08:49,496 --> 00:08:50,764
What are you guys
Doing here?
189
00:08:50,764 --> 00:08:53,300
We wanted
To come down
And celebrate
190
00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:55,636
Your first day
On the new job.
191
00:08:55,636 --> 00:08:58,505
Woody: yeah, we
Brought you a gift.
192
00:08:58,505 --> 00:09:00,808
Let me find
The perfect spot
For this.
193
00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:06,814
There.
194
00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:10,250
Don't forget
To water it.
195
00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:14,354
Thanks. I'll write
Myself a note, woody.
196
00:09:14,354 --> 00:09:21,194
So, guys, I guess
I exaggerated a little bit
About the office.
197
00:09:22,863 --> 00:09:25,498
But it's just 'cause
You were razzing me
So much.
198
00:09:25,498 --> 00:09:28,702
It's actually quite a big step
To have an office at all.
199
00:09:28,702 --> 00:09:31,038
Many people in this firm,
Have to share an office.
200
00:09:31,038 --> 00:09:32,706
[knock on door]
201
00:09:32,706 --> 00:09:33,974
Excuse me. I'm sorry.
202
00:09:33,974 --> 00:09:37,277
Just set it right here.
That's fine.
203
00:09:39,713 --> 00:09:42,149
Let me guess--
Peterson.
204
00:09:42,149 --> 00:09:43,350
Right.
205
00:09:43,350 --> 00:09:44,551
I'm thompkins.
206
00:09:44,551 --> 00:09:46,353
Looks like
We're office partners.
207
00:09:58,899 --> 00:10:01,301
So, if you're looking
For a secretary,
208
00:10:01,301 --> 00:10:02,435
I'm available.
209
00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:04,237
But I want you
To know
210
00:10:04,237 --> 00:10:08,108
I do not take shorthand,
I don't type, and I don't
Make coffee.
211
00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:09,910
What do you do?
212
00:10:09,910 --> 00:10:13,113
Hire me and find out.
213
00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:16,216
Carla, I don't think
He caught that.
214
00:10:16,216 --> 00:10:19,219
Next time, try
To be more obvious.
215
00:10:19,219 --> 00:10:22,322
Ok. Let's let norman
Get back to work.
216
00:10:22,322 --> 00:10:23,123
Thanks.
217
00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:24,758
Norman, keep up
The spirits.
218
00:10:24,758 --> 00:10:28,428
Remember--
No small offices,
Only small people.
219
00:10:28,428 --> 00:10:29,596
That's right.
220
00:10:29,596 --> 00:10:31,031
Oh, my god.
Look at the time.
221
00:10:31,031 --> 00:10:32,232
If I don't get back
Right now,
222
00:10:32,232 --> 00:10:33,901
Mrs. Segal
Will be shampooing the rug.
223
00:10:33,901 --> 00:10:35,903
Thanks a lot
For the plant.
224
00:10:35,903 --> 00:10:38,105
Wait! Wait!
My supervisor!
225
00:10:38,105 --> 00:10:39,907
Everybody hide.
226
00:10:41,608 --> 00:10:42,609
Peterson.
227
00:10:42,609 --> 00:10:43,944
Hi, sir.
228
00:10:43,944 --> 00:10:46,079
What are
All these people
Doing in here?
229
00:10:46,079 --> 00:10:47,948
Well,
They're new clients, sir.
230
00:10:47,948 --> 00:10:50,918
We were holding
A little impromptu seminar
On the tax laws.
231
00:10:50,918 --> 00:10:52,619
So, in conclusion, folks,
232
00:10:52,619 --> 00:10:54,922
I'd like you
To file early
233
00:10:54,922 --> 00:10:56,990
And, uh...File out.
234
00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:57,925
Right.
235
00:11:00,794 --> 00:11:02,796
Thank you.
New clients, sir.
236
00:11:02,796 --> 00:11:04,297
You're thompkins,
Aren't you?
237
00:11:04,297 --> 00:11:05,298
Yes, sir.
238
00:11:05,298 --> 00:11:06,800
Well,
Welcome aboard.
239
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,501
Pay attention.
You can learn a lot
From this man.
240
00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:10,570
Thank you.
That's very kind
Of you to say.
241
00:11:10,570 --> 00:11:12,372
I was talking
To you.
242
00:11:12,372 --> 00:11:15,608
By the way, sir,
I understand you're
A big red sox fan.
243
00:11:15,608 --> 00:11:17,144
Yup.
244
00:11:17,144 --> 00:11:19,612
My father has season tickets
Right behind the dugout.
245
00:11:19,612 --> 00:11:20,814
No kidding?
246
00:11:20,814 --> 00:11:23,483
I'm usually so busy
With work here,
247
00:11:23,483 --> 00:11:24,785
I rarely get
To use them.
248
00:11:24,785 --> 00:11:26,619
Thompkins,
Let's have lunch.
249
00:11:26,619 --> 00:11:28,288
Thank you.
250
00:11:28,288 --> 00:11:31,591
That's a lovely tie
You've got there, sir.
251
00:11:31,591 --> 00:11:33,460
What,
This ugly thing?
Yeah.
252
00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:34,527
My wife bought it.
253
00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:35,829
How is the missis?
254
00:11:35,829 --> 00:11:36,997
We're divorcing.
255
00:11:36,997 --> 00:11:40,734
I hope you
Stick it to her, sir.
256
00:11:46,273 --> 00:11:47,908
I just want to make
Sure you're ok.
257
00:11:47,908 --> 00:11:50,744
Yeah, fine, great.
Top of the world, ma!
258
00:11:51,678 --> 00:11:54,748
Hey, the first day
At a new job
259
00:11:54,748 --> 00:11:56,416
Is always traumatic.
260
00:11:56,416 --> 00:12:00,287
Look at me--
Pushing 40, fat,
And starting over again.
261
00:12:00,287 --> 00:12:02,255
Oh, norman,
That's not true.
262
00:12:02,255 --> 00:12:03,623
Yes, it is.
263
00:12:03,623 --> 00:12:04,858
Yeah?
264
00:12:04,858 --> 00:12:06,626
I'm delivering
Supplies to the room.
265
00:12:06,626 --> 00:12:07,861
This isn't it.
Sorry.
266
00:12:07,861 --> 00:12:09,529
It's 2511, right?
Right.
267
00:12:09,529 --> 00:12:10,831
Then it's
The supply room.
268
00:12:10,831 --> 00:12:12,465
It may have been
The supply room once,
269
00:12:12,465 --> 00:12:14,067
But now it's my office.
270
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:15,635
What does it say
On this invoice?
271
00:12:15,635 --> 00:12:17,137
2511.
272
00:12:17,137 --> 00:12:18,071
Thank you.
273
00:12:19,506 --> 00:12:22,776
See. I mean,
I just wasn't meant
To be a success.
274
00:12:22,776 --> 00:12:26,780
Norman, may I speak
To you for a moment?
275
00:12:29,516 --> 00:12:31,351
You make me sick.
276
00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:34,654
You're a quitter,
Norman.
277
00:12:34,654 --> 00:12:36,456
No. You're worse
Than that.
278
00:12:36,456 --> 00:12:37,958
You're
A nonstarter.
You don't even try.
279
00:12:37,958 --> 00:12:40,693
You sit around
The bar all day.
280
00:12:40,693 --> 00:12:41,895
You sit around
Your house all day.
281
00:12:41,895 --> 00:12:43,130
You sit around
Here all day.
282
00:12:43,130 --> 00:12:45,465
You sit around
Lifeall day.
283
00:12:45,465 --> 00:12:47,167
How are you gonna
Feel someday at the
End of your life
284
00:12:47,167 --> 00:12:50,037
When you're lying--
No, make that sitting--
285
00:12:50,037 --> 00:12:52,172
On your deathbed,
286
00:12:52,172 --> 00:12:55,142
And you realize
That the only thing
You've done
287
00:12:55,142 --> 00:12:59,112
In your life is sit
Around and watch
People do things,
288
00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:01,048
Make things
Out of their lives?
289
00:13:01,048 --> 00:13:03,316
Well, maybe you're
Right, norman.
290
00:13:03,316 --> 00:13:05,618
Maybe you're not
Meant for success.
291
00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:09,823
Maybe you're
Meant for exactly
What you are--
292
00:13:09,823 --> 00:13:11,491
Nothing.
293
00:13:11,491 --> 00:13:14,828
Diane, you have no right
To say that to me.
294
00:13:18,832 --> 00:13:21,835
Norman, I said
Those things to you
295
00:13:21,835 --> 00:13:23,803
Because I care.
296
00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:27,875
You must care
An awful lot about me.
297
00:13:29,542 --> 00:13:31,678
Well, I do.
298
00:13:31,678 --> 00:13:35,348
All of your friends
Care about you
An awful lot.
299
00:13:35,348 --> 00:13:38,986
We're tired
Of seeing you
Give up so easily.
300
00:13:42,856 --> 00:13:46,393
Maybe I won't give up
So easily this time.
301
00:13:46,393 --> 00:13:50,363
Maybe those harsh, stinging,
Offensive words of yours--
302
00:13:50,363 --> 00:13:53,566
Words that I'll take
To my grave, by the way--
303
00:13:53,566 --> 00:13:55,802
Maybe they finally
Struck a chord with me,
Diane.
304
00:13:55,802 --> 00:13:57,737
Norman,
Do you mean it?
305
00:13:57,737 --> 00:13:59,072
Yes, I do, diane.
306
00:13:59,072 --> 00:14:00,740
Every place
I've worked,
307
00:14:00,740 --> 00:14:03,543
My name has been
Synonymous with patsy.
308
00:14:03,543 --> 00:14:06,146
I think it's high time
My name stood for ruthless.
309
00:14:06,146 --> 00:14:07,414
People may not
Like the new me,
310
00:14:07,414 --> 00:14:09,449
But they're gonna
Respect the new me.
311
00:14:09,449 --> 00:14:11,418
Diane, I want you to mark
This day on your calendar,
312
00:14:11,418 --> 00:14:14,988
For today is the day
The new me is born.
313
00:14:14,988 --> 00:14:16,723
Happy birthday.
Sign here.
314
00:14:16,723 --> 00:14:18,225
Uh-uh.
315
00:14:18,225 --> 00:14:19,893
I'm gonna
Tell the boss.
316
00:14:21,061 --> 00:14:24,097
No, no, norman.
Norman, norman.
317
00:14:25,265 --> 00:14:26,900
Thank you,
Mr. Springsteen.
318
00:14:32,772 --> 00:14:34,441
Well,
It's a start.
319
00:14:34,441 --> 00:14:35,375
Yeah.
320
00:14:39,012 --> 00:14:40,813
I was thinking
While you were gone
321
00:14:40,813 --> 00:14:43,416
It's not really fair
To have you make all
The honeymoon plans,
322
00:14:43,416 --> 00:14:46,086
So I went ahead
And did them myself.
323
00:14:46,086 --> 00:14:47,420
All you have
To do is
324
00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:51,791
Pack your bags
And set your dial
For fun.
325
00:14:51,791 --> 00:14:54,861
Oh, my god.
It's niagara falls.
326
00:14:54,861 --> 00:14:56,964
No, it's not
Niagara falls.
327
00:14:56,964 --> 00:15:00,633
That place
Is a tourist trap.
328
00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:02,635
Are you ready
For this?
329
00:15:02,635 --> 00:15:05,605
Disneyworld.
330
00:15:05,605 --> 00:15:08,808
You want to go
To disneyworld
For our honeymoon?
331
00:15:08,808 --> 00:15:10,210
Oh, yeah.
332
00:15:10,210 --> 00:15:11,979
I always thought that
Would be someplace we'd go
333
00:15:11,979 --> 00:15:13,913
When we have kids.
334
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:16,316
This is not
Just for kids.
335
00:15:16,316 --> 00:15:20,020
This is for
"Children of all ages."
336
00:15:20,020 --> 00:15:22,689
I mean, can you
Say the same thing
About tibet?
337
00:15:22,689 --> 00:15:26,693
Well, how can you
Compare disneyworld
And tibet,
338
00:15:26,693 --> 00:15:30,297
Where we might
Possibly unravel
The mysteries of life?
339
00:15:30,297 --> 00:15:32,299
Well, there are
Lots of mysteries
340
00:15:32,299 --> 00:15:34,701
You can unravel
At disneyworld.
341
00:15:34,701 --> 00:15:36,503
For example?
342
00:15:36,503 --> 00:15:37,804
Um...
343
00:15:37,804 --> 00:15:39,506
All right, all right.
344
00:15:39,506 --> 00:15:44,144
Why is it that donald duck
Wears a top and no bottom,
345
00:15:44,144 --> 00:15:46,046
Whereas mickey wears
A bottom and no top?
346
00:15:48,515 --> 00:15:50,717
Well, it's because
A duck's privates
347
00:15:50,717 --> 00:15:52,519
Are hidden
By the feathers,
348
00:15:52,519 --> 00:15:57,490
And a mouse's is, uh--
Need I say more?
349
00:15:57,490 --> 00:16:00,527
While you're at it,
Why is it we've
Never seen donald fly?
350
00:16:00,527 --> 00:16:03,830
I mean,
I've seen that damn duck
Do the karaoke.
351
00:16:03,830 --> 00:16:06,499
If mickey's
Dating minnie,
352
00:16:06,499 --> 00:16:08,668
How come he has such
A high voice?
353
00:16:08,668 --> 00:16:10,803
Whoa, wait.
Are you trying
To tell me--
354
00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:14,041
All right!
All right!
We'll go! We'll go!
355
00:16:14,041 --> 00:16:15,108
Evening, everybody.
356
00:16:15,108 --> 00:16:16,643
Norm!
Norm!
357
00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:18,445
Diane:
Norman.
358
00:16:18,445 --> 00:16:21,281
Sam: look at you.
You look like the cat
That swallowed the canary.
359
00:16:21,281 --> 00:16:23,250
A beer will
Wash him down.
360
00:16:23,250 --> 00:16:25,252
You're in
Kind of late, me bucko.
361
00:16:25,252 --> 00:16:27,254
How was
Your first day?
362
00:16:27,254 --> 00:16:28,788
I tell you, I feel
A lot better now
363
00:16:28,788 --> 00:16:30,123
Than I did
This morning.
364
00:16:30,123 --> 00:16:33,260
Diane,
I took your advice.
365
00:16:33,260 --> 00:16:35,295
I spent the
Afternoon jotting
Some ideas,
366
00:16:35,295 --> 00:16:37,464
And I think they'll
Save the company
A lot of money.
367
00:16:37,464 --> 00:16:40,233
Oh, norman,
That's wonderful!
368
00:16:40,233 --> 00:16:42,435
I'm gonna pitch it
To my supervisor
Tomorrow.
369
00:16:42,435 --> 00:16:43,970
I tell you,
I'm a little nervous
370
00:16:43,970 --> 00:16:45,272
About putting
My butt on the line.
371
00:16:45,272 --> 00:16:48,608
How do you think
The line feels?
372
00:16:50,277 --> 00:16:53,680
Norman, why waste time
With the supervisor?
373
00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:56,416
He'll only take credit
For the idea himself.
374
00:16:56,416 --> 00:16:58,185
Why don't you go
Right to the top?
375
00:16:58,185 --> 00:17:00,487
Present your idea
To the board
Of directors.
376
00:17:00,487 --> 00:17:02,289
I don't know.
The thought
Of standing there
377
00:17:02,289 --> 00:17:03,890
In a roomful
Of bigwigs
378
00:17:03,890 --> 00:17:05,492
Just gives me
The cold sweats.
379
00:17:05,492 --> 00:17:08,495
Boy, yeah, I can sympathize
With you there, normie.
380
00:17:08,495 --> 00:17:11,298
I'll never forget
My first oral report.
381
00:17:11,298 --> 00:17:14,301
Sixth grade.
Yeah. Boy, was I nervous.
I tell you,
382
00:17:14,301 --> 00:17:16,503
I went to my father,
And he said, "Hey, just relax.
383
00:17:16,503 --> 00:17:20,140
"You'll be fine
As long as you can imagine
384
00:17:20,140 --> 00:17:22,475
The other kids
In their underwear,"
385
00:17:22,475 --> 00:17:24,311
Which is no big deal
For me
386
00:17:24,311 --> 00:17:27,247
Because I'd gotten that far
With half the girls
In class already.
387
00:17:27,247 --> 00:17:28,815
Even then, huh?
388
00:17:28,815 --> 00:17:31,251
Amway, I was just describing
How they make maple syrup
389
00:17:31,251 --> 00:17:33,820
By draining the sap
From trees
390
00:17:33,820 --> 00:17:36,323
When I happened
To look down
391
00:17:36,323 --> 00:17:38,158
And noticed how nicely
Cindy van rippen had filled out.
392
00:17:38,158 --> 00:17:40,327
Ooh...
Oh, yes.
393
00:17:40,327 --> 00:17:41,828
Well,
What happened next?
394
00:17:41,828 --> 00:17:43,363
Well, I smiled at her.
395
00:17:43,363 --> 00:17:45,132
And she smiled at me.
396
00:17:45,132 --> 00:17:49,536
After my little speech,
We stole a few moments
In the cloakroom.
397
00:17:49,536 --> 00:17:53,440
No, I mean after they drain
The sap from the tree.
398
00:17:57,444 --> 00:17:59,212
I don't remember,
Woody.
399
00:17:59,212 --> 00:18:00,713
Oh, great, sam.
400
00:18:00,713 --> 00:18:05,818
Get us all revved up
And then leave out
The best part.
401
00:18:05,818 --> 00:18:08,721
Norman,
Nothing takes the place
Of personal support.
402
00:18:08,721 --> 00:18:12,425
Therefore, when you're ready
To make your proposal,
403
00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:14,727
I will be
At your side.
404
00:18:14,727 --> 00:18:17,930
Tell them that you've hired
A personal secretary
405
00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:19,566
To assist you
At your expense.
406
00:18:19,566 --> 00:18:21,201
Diane, please,
You've been more
Than helpful already.
407
00:18:21,201 --> 00:18:23,136
I don't need anyone
To hold my hand.
408
00:18:23,136 --> 00:18:24,737
I just need
A little practice.
409
00:18:24,737 --> 00:18:28,107
Normie, why don't you
Try it out on us?
410
00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:29,342
That's
A good idea,
Actually.
411
00:18:29,342 --> 00:18:31,278
Oh, yes, it is good.
Good, good.
412
00:18:31,278 --> 00:18:32,612
Stand up here
So we can all see you.
413
00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:34,314
All right. Now,
Remember, guys,
414
00:18:34,314 --> 00:18:36,316
This room will be
A pressure cooker.
415
00:18:36,316 --> 00:18:38,351
So just stay
On top of me, ok,
416
00:18:38,351 --> 00:18:41,754
Really heckle me.
It'll help, ok?
417
00:18:41,754 --> 00:18:43,256
Ahem.
418
00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:45,592
Good morning, gentlemen.
419
00:18:45,592 --> 00:18:47,727
What's
Good about it?
420
00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:54,901
What time
Can you be there?
421
00:18:59,839 --> 00:19:01,674
"58% growth.
422
00:19:01,674 --> 00:19:02,609
"Cash flow.
423
00:19:02,609 --> 00:19:04,777
Annual achievement
No later than--"
424
00:19:04,777 --> 00:19:06,479
Thank god.
Thank god you're here.
425
00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:07,980
Norman,
Don't worry, please.
426
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:10,683
Everything is
Going to be perfect.
427
00:19:10,683 --> 00:19:11,984
I hope so.
428
00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:14,487
I'm having
A very tough time
429
00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:16,989
Picturing the
Chairman of the board
In his underpants.
430
00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:17,990
Oh, no.
431
00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:19,492
What? Now what?
What?
432
00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:21,628
Pierre forgot
The chocolate croissant
I ordered.
433
00:19:21,628 --> 00:19:24,331
Don't worry about it.
It wasn't that good.
434
00:19:24,331 --> 00:19:26,333
That's a nice suit,
Peterson.
435
00:19:26,333 --> 00:19:29,336
Do they make it
In your size?
436
00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:33,640
Pay no attention
To him.
437
00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:37,009
Norman is making
A proposal today.
438
00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:38,378
The board meeting.
439
00:19:38,378 --> 00:19:40,112
He's wasting his time.
440
00:19:40,112 --> 00:19:42,249
Those stuffed shirts
Don't care about
Anybody's ideas.
441
00:19:42,249 --> 00:19:45,385
Why don't you
Just have the courage
To wish him well?
442
00:19:45,385 --> 00:19:48,621
Why don't you
Take a flying leap?
443
00:19:48,621 --> 00:19:49,622
Touche.
444
00:19:51,057 --> 00:19:52,659
Now, listen...
445
00:19:52,659 --> 00:19:54,994
I don't like
To make predictions,
446
00:19:54,994 --> 00:19:57,997
But you're going to be
In the top echelon
Of this someday.
447
00:19:57,997 --> 00:20:02,101
Your idea is so good,
They can't help
But applaud it.
448
00:20:02,101 --> 00:20:03,336
I hope
You're right, diane.
449
00:20:03,336 --> 00:20:04,804
But we have
A few minutes now.
450
00:20:04,804 --> 00:20:07,006
I'm going to
Splash some water
On my face.
451
00:20:07,006 --> 00:20:09,942
Fine. I'll go prepare
The coffee.
Ok.
452
00:20:09,942 --> 00:20:11,378
Special viennese blend.
453
00:20:11,378 --> 00:20:13,313
They're bound
To be impressed.
454
00:20:13,313 --> 00:20:14,681
Great, great.
455
00:20:14,681 --> 00:20:16,148
For my part,
I think I'd like
To get
456
00:20:16,148 --> 00:20:18,818
A second opinion
On this pastry,
Know what I mean?
457
00:20:30,330 --> 00:20:31,698
[whistling]
458
00:20:51,217 --> 00:20:54,354
Diane!
It's--it's gone.
459
00:20:54,354 --> 00:20:55,955
What's gone?
460
00:20:55,955 --> 00:20:59,726
Well, my proposal,
My career, the pastry!
461
00:21:00,727 --> 00:21:02,395
...Immediately,
You will enjoy
462
00:21:02,395 --> 00:21:04,764
A 58% growth
In cash flow,
463
00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:06,399
And will achieve it
No later
464
00:21:06,399 --> 00:21:08,601
Than the third
Quarter of the
Next fiscal year.
465
00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:10,102
Thompkins, the thief.
466
00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:11,804
Get in there
And defend yourself.
467
00:21:11,804 --> 00:21:13,205
Damn right I will.
468
00:21:13,205 --> 00:21:15,141
Thompkins, you idiot.
You completely ignored
The obvious.
469
00:21:15,141 --> 00:21:17,577
Our resulting tax liability
Would cost us a fortune.
470
00:21:17,577 --> 00:21:19,946
Actually, sir,
It's not my plan.
471
00:21:19,946 --> 00:21:21,581
It's the new guy
Peterson's, you see.
472
00:21:21,581 --> 00:21:24,384
Don't try blaming another man
For this garbage.
473
00:21:24,384 --> 00:21:27,720
Now, stop wasting our time.
Get back to work.
474
00:21:31,257 --> 00:21:32,592
Just my luck.
475
00:21:32,592 --> 00:21:35,795
I had to share
The office
With a moron.
476
00:21:35,795 --> 00:21:37,664
Hey, sorry!
477
00:21:37,664 --> 00:21:39,766
I'll give him this,
Though,
478
00:21:39,766 --> 00:21:41,901
The man
Knows his pastry.
479
00:21:48,675 --> 00:21:49,476
Jeez.
480
00:21:49,476 --> 00:21:50,777
Now, norman, please.
481
00:21:50,777 --> 00:21:52,979
Now, don't let this
Faze you.
482
00:21:52,979 --> 00:21:55,482
You have
To keep pushing.
483
00:21:55,482 --> 00:21:58,284
I know that this idea
Didn't succeed,
484
00:21:58,284 --> 00:21:59,786
But others will.
485
00:21:59,786 --> 00:22:03,790
A few moments ago,
I almost made
The biggest mistake
486
00:22:03,790 --> 00:22:05,425
Of my professional
Life, ok?
487
00:22:05,425 --> 00:22:07,860
It was because I was
Doing something
That just wasn't me.
488
00:22:07,860 --> 00:22:09,796
I'm not a go-getter.
I've never been
A go-getter.
489
00:22:09,796 --> 00:22:12,599
What's more, I don't
Even want to be
A go-getter.
490
00:22:12,599 --> 00:22:15,402
I'm very happy
Right where I am.
491
00:22:15,402 --> 00:22:16,936
I'm tired of all
These people saying
492
00:22:16,936 --> 00:22:18,337
"Yeah, peterson,
You got to push, you
Got to get ahead,
493
00:22:18,337 --> 00:22:20,473
You got to
Make that goal."
494
00:22:20,473 --> 00:22:22,141
I don't even want
To make the goal.
495
00:22:22,141 --> 00:22:23,610
I want to be
A benchwarmer, ok?
496
00:22:23,610 --> 00:22:25,812
The world
Needs benchwarmers.
497
00:22:25,812 --> 00:22:28,014
I mean, if there were
No benchwarmers,
498
00:22:28,014 --> 00:22:29,516
What would we have?
499
00:22:29,516 --> 00:22:31,317
We'd have...
Cold benches.
500
00:22:31,317 --> 00:22:33,520
A lot of cold benches,
And the world does not
Need that, diane.
501
00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:35,822
In this great
Pageantry of life,
502
00:22:35,822 --> 00:22:38,825
Norm peterson may
Be a motionless lump,
503
00:22:38,825 --> 00:22:40,660
But he's a very
Damn good one.
504
00:22:40,660 --> 00:22:43,796
Norman,
I've never seen you
So impassioned.
505
00:22:43,796 --> 00:22:45,865
That's because
I believe in this, diane.
506
00:22:45,865 --> 00:22:48,034
Look, norm peterson
Is totally happy
507
00:22:48,034 --> 00:22:49,536
Being an anonymous cog
508
00:22:49,536 --> 00:22:52,304
In the gigantic machinery
Of this firm.
509
00:22:52,304 --> 00:22:55,808
I forgot, didn't you
Want to say something
At the meeting?
510
00:22:55,808 --> 00:22:59,679
Just how delighted I was
To be part of the firm, sir.
511
00:22:59,679 --> 00:23:02,148
We're glad
To have you aboard,
Springsteen.
512
00:23:06,886 --> 00:23:08,721
I'm home.
37393
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