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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,603 --> 00:00:04,305 "Cheers" is filmed before A live studio audience. 2 00:00:08,076 --> 00:00:09,710 Don't work too hard There, diane. 3 00:00:09,710 --> 00:00:11,612 I don't mind. 4 00:00:11,612 --> 00:00:15,349 Our wedding day Draws ever nearer, 5 00:00:15,349 --> 00:00:18,352 And all This conditioning Is simply preparation 6 00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:20,288 For that special moment 7 00:00:20,288 --> 00:00:22,490 When you and I Exchange rings. 8 00:00:22,490 --> 00:00:25,459 My hands Must be pristine, 9 00:00:25,459 --> 00:00:28,262 Because everyone's eyes Will be on my fingers. 10 00:00:28,262 --> 00:00:31,399 And everyone's fingers Will be down their throats. 11 00:00:33,301 --> 00:00:37,471 Oh, carla. Sweet, pathetic carla. 12 00:00:37,471 --> 00:00:40,874 Can't you see that I'm in too good a mood 13 00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:43,844 To let your petty asides Bother me? 14 00:00:43,844 --> 00:00:47,047 I'm afraid You'll just have to find Some other way 15 00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:48,816 Of bugging me. 16 00:00:48,816 --> 00:00:50,851 If you insist. 17 00:00:50,851 --> 00:00:52,720 Aah! 18 00:01:01,762 --> 00:01:04,432 * makin' your way In the world today * 19 00:01:04,432 --> 00:01:07,301 * takes everything You've got * 20 00:01:07,301 --> 00:01:10,204 * takin' a break From all your worries * 21 00:01:10,204 --> 00:01:12,440 * sure would Help a lot * 22 00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:16,710 * wouldn't you like To get away * 23 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:21,515 * sometimes You wanna go * 24 00:01:21,515 --> 00:01:25,119 * where everybody Knows your name * 25 00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:30,291 * and they're always Glad you came * 26 00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:33,761 * you wanna be Where you can see * 27 00:01:33,761 --> 00:01:36,397 * our troubles Are all the same * 28 00:01:36,397 --> 00:01:37,598 * you wanna be * 29 00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:40,668 * where everybody Knows your name * 30 00:01:41,735 --> 00:01:44,538 * you wanna go Where people know * 31 00:01:44,538 --> 00:01:46,407 * people are All the same * 32 00:01:46,407 --> 00:01:47,808 * you wanna go * 33 00:01:47,808 --> 00:01:51,345 * where everybody Knows your name ** 34 00:02:08,896 --> 00:02:11,232 Yes, thank you For telling me. 35 00:02:11,232 --> 00:02:13,634 If you don't Hear from me In an hour, 36 00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:15,769 I'll be there. Ok. Thank you. 37 00:02:15,769 --> 00:02:19,507 Sam, may I Speak to you For a minute? 38 00:02:19,507 --> 00:02:22,976 It would be A new record If you do. 39 00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:27,648 That was A buddhist monastery Called the glade. 40 00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:30,651 I've been hoping To go on retreat there, 41 00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:32,653 And guess what. They have a vacancy. 42 00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:34,655 Great. I heard all the monks 43 00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:37,291 Went to ft. Lauderdale This year. 44 00:02:37,291 --> 00:02:39,693 No, sam, it's Not a resort. 45 00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:42,663 It's a contemplative Retreat 46 00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:45,733 Where people go as A means of purifying Their souls. 47 00:02:45,733 --> 00:02:49,002 For two weeks, you're Isolated from others 48 00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:50,571 To commune With yourself. 49 00:02:50,571 --> 00:02:52,740 You're provided with A small room, 50 00:02:52,740 --> 00:02:56,577 You're fed pure, Toxin-free foods. 51 00:02:56,577 --> 00:03:00,013 Oh, wait. Wait, And... 52 00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:03,317 They have The biggest buddha East of the mississippi. 53 00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:07,688 Boy, he is a bruiser, Isn't he? 54 00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:09,690 Well, it's Not exactly vegas, 55 00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:13,694 But all right, I'll give it a try. What should I bring? 56 00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:18,932 Oh...No, sam. I'm going alone. 57 00:03:18,932 --> 00:03:24,037 Only in my solitude Can I discover Who we are. 58 00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:25,906 Oh, wait a minute here. 59 00:03:25,906 --> 00:03:27,475 This isn't One of those weird cults 60 00:03:27,475 --> 00:03:28,976 Where they mess With your head 61 00:03:28,976 --> 00:03:32,580 And you end up Handing out flowers At the airport? 62 00:03:32,580 --> 00:03:34,415 You will be coming back, Won't you? 63 00:03:34,415 --> 00:03:38,252 No, I won't Be coming back, But I will. 64 00:03:41,255 --> 00:03:45,259 I guess I just made Up a little zen Koan, didn't I? 65 00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:49,630 Let me explain. 66 00:03:49,630 --> 00:03:53,334 A koan is a paradox Upon which one meditates 67 00:03:53,334 --> 00:03:55,836 In order to become More enlightened. 68 00:03:55,836 --> 00:03:57,471 For example, 69 00:03:57,471 --> 00:04:00,808 What was your face Before your parents Were born? 70 00:04:00,808 --> 00:04:02,743 Easy. A "10." 71 00:04:04,177 --> 00:04:07,014 This is kind of fun. You got any more? 72 00:04:07,014 --> 00:04:09,683 I'm off to The glade. It is All right, isn't it? 73 00:04:09,683 --> 00:04:13,354 Yeah. What the heck. Why not? Sure. Go ahead. 74 00:04:14,822 --> 00:04:16,357 Good-bye, my love. 75 00:04:18,025 --> 00:04:19,593 Bye-bye. Steal me an ashtray. 76 00:04:21,995 --> 00:04:25,699 Hey, hey, Is diane taking The day off again? 77 00:04:25,699 --> 00:04:27,668 No. 78 00:04:27,668 --> 00:04:28,636 Good. 79 00:04:28,636 --> 00:04:30,504 She's taking Two weeks off. 80 00:04:30,504 --> 00:04:32,306 No, sammy, That's not fair! Come on! 81 00:04:32,306 --> 00:04:35,309 She's always taking off For one stupid reason Or another. 82 00:04:35,309 --> 00:04:37,044 Can't we just Kill her? 83 00:04:37,044 --> 00:04:39,847 She's my fiancee, Carla. 84 00:04:39,847 --> 00:04:40,914 Is that a yes? 85 00:04:40,914 --> 00:04:41,849 No. 86 00:04:43,417 --> 00:04:45,419 Hey, everybody. 87 00:04:45,419 --> 00:04:47,588 Hey, cliffie. 88 00:04:47,588 --> 00:04:48,722 What's with your leg? 89 00:04:48,722 --> 00:04:50,891 I'd rather not Talk about it. 90 00:04:53,861 --> 00:04:55,663 Got bitten by a dog. 91 00:04:55,663 --> 00:04:58,466 10 stitches To close the wound. 92 00:04:58,466 --> 00:05:01,969 I tell you, these Unleashed animals are A menace to postal workers. 93 00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:03,604 You're gonna sue, Aren't you? 94 00:05:03,604 --> 00:05:06,474 I may be wrong, But I don't think 95 00:05:06,474 --> 00:05:09,042 You can sue members Of the animal kingdom. 96 00:05:11,512 --> 00:05:14,648 I'm talking about The owners, nelly bell. 97 00:05:15,516 --> 00:05:17,518 There's No need to sue. 98 00:05:17,518 --> 00:05:19,587 I left a strongly worded note In their mailbox. 99 00:05:19,587 --> 00:05:22,523 That's too bad, cliff. I know a lawyer who'd Take it on a contingency basis. 100 00:05:22,523 --> 00:05:23,924 It wouldn't cost you a dime, 101 00:05:23,924 --> 00:05:25,793 And you might end up With a sizable settlement. 102 00:05:25,793 --> 00:05:28,996 If it gets you Off my back, all right. 103 00:05:28,996 --> 00:05:30,664 [telephone rings] 104 00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:35,936 Cheers. 105 00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:39,640 Yeah. Just a minute, please. 106 00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:41,642 Mr. Clavin, for you. 107 00:05:41,642 --> 00:05:44,344 Take a message. I'll call 'em back. 108 00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:46,647 Can he get back to you? 109 00:05:46,647 --> 00:05:49,349 Oh, yes, ma'am. She wants to know How your leg is. 110 00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:52,820 The mutt's owner Tracked me down. 111 00:05:52,820 --> 00:05:55,756 Tell her that she can Deep 6 that phony Concern of hers. 112 00:05:55,756 --> 00:05:58,526 It doesn't cut it With me. 113 00:05:58,526 --> 00:06:00,828 You can deep 6 Your phony concern. 114 00:06:00,828 --> 00:06:03,697 It doesn't cut it With him. 115 00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:06,867 Tell her my leg And I will see Her in court. 116 00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:09,369 His leg and him Will see you in court. 117 00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:12,606 Ok. I'll tell him. 118 00:06:12,606 --> 00:06:15,375 Your mom wants you To be home by 6:00. 119 00:06:16,844 --> 00:06:20,548 Woody, why didn't You tell me it was My mother? 120 00:06:20,548 --> 00:06:21,615 I just did. 121 00:06:21,615 --> 00:06:23,116 No. I mean before. 122 00:06:23,116 --> 00:06:25,819 I didn't know it was her Until I picked up the phone. 123 00:06:25,819 --> 00:06:29,322 No. Woody... 124 00:06:29,322 --> 00:06:31,659 When you were Talking to her, 125 00:06:31,659 --> 00:06:33,160 Why didn't you say It was her? 126 00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:34,728 She already knew that. 127 00:06:36,630 --> 00:06:37,998 I'd leave it Alone, cliff. 128 00:06:37,998 --> 00:06:40,468 I think it's One of those Zen koan things. 129 00:06:49,209 --> 00:06:50,511 Buona sera, mi amigos. 130 00:06:50,511 --> 00:06:52,513 Hey, cliffie. How's your leg? 131 00:06:52,513 --> 00:06:54,548 Stiffening up there, Sammy. 132 00:06:54,548 --> 00:06:56,349 The muscles Are all cramped. 133 00:06:56,349 --> 00:06:57,985 I think the wound's Getting a little Infected. 134 00:06:57,985 --> 00:07:00,120 The mental anguish That goes along With this. 135 00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:02,055 You just can't Put a price on this. 136 00:07:02,055 --> 00:07:05,125 Let me guess here. You've seen An attorney. 137 00:07:05,125 --> 00:07:09,630 Yep. The guy Said 97% of all these Canine attack cases 138 00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:12,633 Are decided in favor Of the postman. 139 00:07:12,633 --> 00:07:14,201 Well, good for you. 140 00:07:14,201 --> 00:07:16,637 You deserve to get A little satisfaction Out of this. 141 00:07:16,637 --> 00:07:19,106 About 200,000 clams worth. 142 00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:20,407 200,000-- 143 00:07:20,407 --> 00:07:22,643 Dollars. Dinner is on cliff, All right. 144 00:07:22,643 --> 00:07:24,478 What do you say, Buddy? 145 00:07:24,478 --> 00:07:26,079 I go upstairs, Snag us a table, 146 00:07:26,079 --> 00:07:28,549 Check out The specials. I'll be right back. 147 00:07:29,717 --> 00:07:32,653 Maybe I can sue somebody About my broken thumb. 148 00:07:32,653 --> 00:07:34,655 I mean, after all, I did slip on the ice. 149 00:07:34,655 --> 00:07:36,256 Well, maybe so. Where did it happen? 150 00:07:36,256 --> 00:07:37,658 Right outside The bar here. 151 00:07:37,658 --> 00:07:39,026 No. You don't have a case. 152 00:07:40,494 --> 00:07:41,762 Hey, cliff. 153 00:07:41,762 --> 00:07:43,797 Have you ever thought You might be suing 154 00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:45,799 Some poor, sweet Little old lady? 155 00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:47,801 Hey, listen, there, Sharpie, who she is Is irrelevant. 156 00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:50,804 The letter Of the law Has been violated. 157 00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:53,807 I can't wait To get her in court 158 00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:55,809 And tear her To pieces 159 00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:57,811 With my verbal Gymnastics. 160 00:08:02,149 --> 00:08:06,987 I'm looking for A mr. Cliff clavin. 161 00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:07,921 Yep. 162 00:08:09,690 --> 00:08:12,693 You left this note In my mailbox. 163 00:08:12,693 --> 00:08:15,829 I'm afraid It was my dog That bit you. 164 00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:17,965 Uh... 165 00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:21,935 Uh... 166 00:08:21,935 --> 00:08:22,903 Excuse me. 167 00:08:22,903 --> 00:08:26,106 Cliffie, What are you Trying to say? 168 00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:29,610 Uh... 169 00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:32,946 Yes, she is Very attractive. 170 00:08:32,946 --> 00:08:37,217 Mr. Clavin, I'm terribly sorry About what happened. 171 00:08:37,217 --> 00:08:39,920 How is your leg? 172 00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:42,322 Uh... 173 00:08:42,322 --> 00:08:43,724 Cliffie, We're in luck. 174 00:08:43,724 --> 00:08:45,726 The special Is filet, uh... 175 00:08:45,726 --> 00:08:48,161 Filet, uh... Filet, uh... 176 00:08:48,161 --> 00:08:50,731 Great. Stereo. 177 00:08:50,731 --> 00:08:51,965 Uh... Uh... 178 00:08:51,965 --> 00:08:54,802 Guys, guys, guys. Hey. Whoa! 179 00:08:54,802 --> 00:08:56,870 Sit down. Sit down. 180 00:08:58,005 --> 00:09:02,242 Can I offer you A drink, miss... 181 00:09:02,242 --> 00:09:03,777 Keith. Madeline keith. 182 00:09:03,777 --> 00:09:06,113 White wine Would be lovely. 183 00:09:06,113 --> 00:09:08,582 Coming right up. 184 00:09:08,582 --> 00:09:12,252 Look. I don't have Very much money, 185 00:09:12,252 --> 00:09:16,423 But I'd like to help With the doctor bills. 186 00:09:16,423 --> 00:09:17,591 That's good. 187 00:09:17,591 --> 00:09:20,093 That's good. 188 00:09:20,093 --> 00:09:24,765 Anything to ease the burden On you and your family. 189 00:09:24,765 --> 00:09:26,767 You're Not married. 190 00:09:26,767 --> 00:09:28,636 You're not married. 191 00:09:29,837 --> 00:09:32,005 I mean I'm not married. 192 00:09:32,005 --> 00:09:34,908 But I could be If I wanted to, Right sam? 193 00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:36,176 Sure. 194 00:09:36,176 --> 00:09:40,380 I can't imagine A man like you Living alone. 195 00:09:40,380 --> 00:09:42,215 I don't live alone. 196 00:09:42,215 --> 00:09:44,284 I live With my mother. 197 00:09:44,284 --> 00:09:46,386 Oh? 198 00:09:46,386 --> 00:09:48,388 It's not That I have to. 199 00:09:48,388 --> 00:09:49,957 We're related. 200 00:09:49,957 --> 00:09:53,727 Don't get me wrong. I mean, I like her. 201 00:09:53,727 --> 00:09:55,328 I think it's wonderful 202 00:09:55,328 --> 00:09:59,266 That you're taking care Of your mother In her old age. 203 00:10:01,034 --> 00:10:05,038 I couldn't throw her Out in the street, I guess. 204 00:10:05,038 --> 00:10:06,707 I mean, Who'd make my lunch? 205 00:10:12,412 --> 00:10:14,815 Mr. Clavin. 206 00:10:14,815 --> 00:10:17,818 You know, it's too bad We didn't meet 207 00:10:17,818 --> 00:10:20,087 Under different Circumstances. 208 00:10:20,087 --> 00:10:22,155 We could have Been friends. 209 00:10:22,155 --> 00:10:23,891 Yeah. 210 00:10:23,891 --> 00:10:27,027 I guess that is Too bad, huh? 211 00:10:27,027 --> 00:10:27,828 Look. 212 00:10:27,828 --> 00:10:31,564 Here is my number. 213 00:10:31,564 --> 00:10:36,336 If you need anything, Call me. 214 00:10:41,775 --> 00:10:43,076 Maybe it's just me, 215 00:10:43,076 --> 00:10:46,847 But I that think woman's Kind of pretty. 216 00:10:46,847 --> 00:10:51,084 Really? I hadn't noticed. 217 00:10:51,084 --> 00:10:53,453 Too busy thinking About the lawsuit? 218 00:10:53,453 --> 00:10:54,922 Lawsuit? 219 00:11:08,201 --> 00:11:12,672 Body slam to the back. He's pinned by hulk hogan. 220 00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:15,308 1...2...3... The hulk wins it. 221 00:11:15,308 --> 00:11:18,746 Man, that hulk hogan Is amazing, isn't he? 222 00:11:18,746 --> 00:11:20,347 Woody, The thing is fixed. 223 00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:24,151 That's too bad. Hulk hogan can't Have children. 224 00:11:28,155 --> 00:11:30,357 It's evolution's loss. 225 00:11:35,562 --> 00:11:36,563 Hey, everybody. 226 00:11:36,563 --> 00:11:38,065 Cliffie, who died? 227 00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:42,302 The old cliff clavin, That's who. 228 00:11:42,302 --> 00:11:43,570 Nice threads. 229 00:11:43,570 --> 00:11:44,838 Thank you, sammy. 230 00:11:44,838 --> 00:11:47,240 Can I have a little drink There woody? 231 00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:48,641 May enough time 232 00:11:48,641 --> 00:11:50,377 Before madeline And I go out to dinner This evening. 233 00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:52,545 Wait a minute. Are you still Seeing each other? 234 00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:53,914 Every day this week, Buddy. 235 00:11:53,914 --> 00:11:55,548 Oh, things are getting Pretty hot. 236 00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:59,352 Sammy, our relationship Isn't based merely On the physical. 237 00:11:59,352 --> 00:12:00,921 He isn't getting any. 238 00:12:03,123 --> 00:12:06,393 I better go check up On our reservations. 239 00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:09,396 Cliff, I hate to bring up An ugly subject, but-- 240 00:12:09,396 --> 00:12:12,532 That's ok, sam, We're already In the area. 241 00:12:12,532 --> 00:12:15,402 Are you still planning To go through with the lawsuit? 242 00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:20,774 You know how slowly The wheels of justice Grind there, samuel. 243 00:12:20,774 --> 00:12:23,811 Uh-oh. Guess what sap Is being suckered 244 00:12:23,811 --> 00:12:26,513 Into dropping a lawsuit. 245 00:12:26,513 --> 00:12:27,881 Well, not Necessarily now. 246 00:12:27,881 --> 00:12:30,750 Let's just Take a look At all these facts, 247 00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,185 As complicated As they may be, 248 00:12:32,185 --> 00:12:34,087 And see if we can Come to a conclusion About this. 249 00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:35,889 Ok, let's start with This gorgeous woman 250 00:12:35,889 --> 00:12:38,391 Is interested in cliff, All right? 251 00:12:38,391 --> 00:12:40,760 I don't think We have to go any Further than that. 252 00:12:42,029 --> 00:12:43,430 Now, just a second. 253 00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:45,365 I don't think We're really Being fair. 254 00:12:45,365 --> 00:12:46,967 Now, let's say If an ugly woman Were interested in cliff, 255 00:12:46,967 --> 00:12:48,435 Would any of us Be suspicious? 256 00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:51,538 If a living woman Were interested in cliff, 257 00:12:51,538 --> 00:12:53,073 I'd be suspicious. 258 00:12:53,073 --> 00:12:55,108 I got to go along With dr. Crane on this. 259 00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:57,644 I can't believe That someone would Actually lie 260 00:12:57,644 --> 00:13:00,780 Just to save A lot of money. 261 00:13:01,648 --> 00:13:03,951 Woody, don't help me, ok? 262 00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:08,355 Somebody has got to Tell cliff the truth. 263 00:13:08,355 --> 00:13:11,658 I guarantee He'll never talk to The person who does. 264 00:13:11,658 --> 00:13:15,262 Ok. You talked me Into it. 265 00:13:15,262 --> 00:13:17,397 Hey, hopalong. 266 00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:20,533 Come here. I want To talk to you. 267 00:13:22,903 --> 00:13:25,906 I don't know How to tell you this. 268 00:13:25,906 --> 00:13:28,108 Wait a minute. Yes, I do. 269 00:13:28,108 --> 00:13:29,910 You're an idiot. 270 00:13:29,910 --> 00:13:33,413 Everybody in the bar Thinks that babe is Playing you for a fool. 271 00:13:33,413 --> 00:13:36,616 The second You drop your lawsuit, You're history. 272 00:13:36,616 --> 00:13:37,918 You are a sap. 273 00:13:37,918 --> 00:13:41,488 I know, but I'm having The time of my life. 274 00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:45,025 How often am I sapped With a beautiful woman? 275 00:13:45,025 --> 00:13:47,660 I mean, I usually am a sap With the bowsers. 276 00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:51,698 But when madeline and I Walk into a restaurant, 277 00:13:51,698 --> 00:13:53,433 All the guys' heads, They turn. 278 00:13:53,433 --> 00:13:55,135 And they're not saying, "Hey, 279 00:13:55,135 --> 00:13:57,270 There's a beautiful Woman over there With a sap." 280 00:13:57,270 --> 00:13:58,872 Yes, they are. 281 00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:03,911 Look, all I know Is as long as We're together, 282 00:14:03,911 --> 00:14:08,648 There's a good chance She may grant me The ultimate favor. 283 00:14:08,648 --> 00:14:10,150 Yeah. Right, clavin. 284 00:14:10,150 --> 00:14:13,586 You're threatening To sue her, Not kill her. 285 00:14:19,492 --> 00:14:20,860 Oh, madeline... 286 00:14:22,029 --> 00:14:24,531 You look ravishing As ever. 287 00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:27,734 Thank you, cliff. I thought you'd like it. 288 00:14:27,734 --> 00:14:30,737 Like it? If I had Better legs, 289 00:14:30,737 --> 00:14:32,205 I'd get one For myself. 290 00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:35,308 Oh, cliff, You're adorable. 291 00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:41,214 We'd better get going. We have reservations. 292 00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:44,751 Before we go, I think We need to sit down 293 00:14:44,751 --> 00:14:46,586 And have a talk. 294 00:14:48,788 --> 00:14:50,958 Is something wrong? 295 00:14:50,958 --> 00:14:53,426 Actually, yes. 296 00:14:54,962 --> 00:14:57,730 What is it, Madeline? 297 00:14:57,730 --> 00:15:04,004 Well, this lawsuit Has been preying On my mind, 298 00:15:04,004 --> 00:15:07,774 And my attorney Gave me this. 299 00:15:07,774 --> 00:15:10,810 It's a waiver form. 300 00:15:10,810 --> 00:15:15,482 It releases me From all liability For the dog bite. 301 00:15:17,850 --> 00:15:21,121 I guess you want me To sign it, huh? 302 00:15:21,121 --> 00:15:23,790 I want you To tear it up. 303 00:15:23,790 --> 00:15:24,791 I don't Understand-- 304 00:15:24,791 --> 00:15:27,327 Please. Just tear it up. 305 00:15:35,802 --> 00:15:37,604 When this first began, 306 00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:41,241 I thought I could Get you to drop the lawsuit 307 00:15:41,241 --> 00:15:43,243 If I was nice to you. 308 00:15:43,243 --> 00:15:47,614 But then the funniest Thing happened. 309 00:15:48,715 --> 00:15:51,684 I grew to like you... A lot. 310 00:15:52,919 --> 00:15:55,822 But I'll understand If you hate me 311 00:15:55,822 --> 00:15:57,757 For what I was Going to do. 312 00:15:57,757 --> 00:15:59,959 I was playing With your emotions 313 00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:02,929 When you've been So honest with me. 314 00:16:02,929 --> 00:16:05,965 Uh, I forgive you, Madeline. 315 00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,967 No, you're A decent guy. 316 00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:09,936 Maybe I just Better go. 317 00:16:09,936 --> 00:16:11,271 Madeline, wait. Uh... 318 00:16:11,271 --> 00:16:12,739 Look, I've--I've... 319 00:16:12,739 --> 00:16:17,210 Anything you did Doesn't make A difference to me. 320 00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:19,946 You're not Just saying that To make me feel better? 321 00:16:19,946 --> 00:16:21,948 I swear it. Scout's honor. 322 00:16:21,948 --> 00:16:24,584 Oh, cliff. Oh. 323 00:16:29,222 --> 00:16:32,225 Doesn't it feel good To clear the air? 324 00:16:32,225 --> 00:16:33,660 Oh, yeah, it does. 325 00:16:36,229 --> 00:16:39,999 Look, why don't we Forget about the dinner 326 00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:42,702 And rent A room somewhere 327 00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:45,638 And just celebrate Our socks off. 328 00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:52,512 Really? 329 00:16:55,948 --> 00:16:57,317 Well... 330 00:16:57,317 --> 00:17:01,288 Well, the ritz Is just around The corner. 331 00:17:01,288 --> 00:17:05,425 Why cliff, I think That's a wonderful idea. 332 00:17:07,727 --> 00:17:09,829 Carla, would you Be a dear 333 00:17:09,829 --> 00:17:14,267 And cancel Dinner reservations For the sap party. 334 00:17:18,205 --> 00:17:21,674 We're going to Have ritz service At the room. 335 00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:29,649 I meant ritz service At the room. 336 00:17:29,649 --> 00:17:33,620 Can you believe I said ritz service At the room? 337 00:17:33,620 --> 00:17:37,357 What I meant was ritz Service at the room. 338 00:17:44,664 --> 00:17:46,699 [ring] 339 00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:50,403 Cheers. 340 00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:52,372 Hey, mr. Clavin. What's new? 341 00:17:52,372 --> 00:17:53,940 Sure thing. Hold on. 342 00:17:53,940 --> 00:17:55,575 Sam, it's for you. 343 00:17:57,210 --> 00:17:58,611 Yeah, cliff. 344 00:17:58,611 --> 00:18:03,116 Oh, sammy. Sammy. It's about to happen. 345 00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:07,420 And you stopped To call me? 346 00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:14,794 She's in the john Putting on her best Bib and tucker. 347 00:18:14,794 --> 00:18:16,028 I, uh... 348 00:18:16,028 --> 00:18:19,399 Sam, can I make A small confession? 349 00:18:19,399 --> 00:18:20,833 Sure. 350 00:18:20,833 --> 00:18:22,702 I'm scared. 351 00:18:23,803 --> 00:18:26,473 Well, cliff, If it's any consolation, 352 00:18:26,473 --> 00:18:29,642 I've seen her, And I'm scared for you. 353 00:18:34,814 --> 00:18:36,849 Oh, my god. 354 00:18:38,918 --> 00:18:40,487 Oh, sam. 355 00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:53,166 Slide over, cliff. 356 00:19:02,375 --> 00:19:05,478 No, I meant This way, cliff. 357 00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:06,579 Oh. 358 00:19:07,747 --> 00:19:09,182 Yes, ma'am. 359 00:19:15,588 --> 00:19:16,856 Now... 360 00:19:16,856 --> 00:19:19,592 Isn't this wonderful? 361 00:19:19,592 --> 00:19:21,628 Yeah. 362 00:19:23,396 --> 00:19:27,534 I wish the guys In the bar Could see this. 363 00:19:29,068 --> 00:19:30,237 Really? 364 00:19:30,237 --> 00:19:31,571 Oh, I mean... 365 00:19:31,571 --> 00:19:34,574 It was just A figure of speech. 366 00:19:34,574 --> 00:19:36,876 They just think That we're together 367 00:19:36,876 --> 00:19:40,213 Because you want me To drop the lawsuit. 368 00:19:43,082 --> 00:19:46,118 Well, they couldn't Be more wrong. 369 00:19:46,118 --> 00:19:48,888 Oh, well, I know. 370 00:19:48,888 --> 00:19:50,857 I know. It's just... 371 00:19:53,092 --> 00:19:57,764 I wish I could Convince them of that. 372 00:19:57,764 --> 00:19:58,965 I know. 373 00:19:58,965 --> 00:20:02,869 If only That silly lawsuit Were out of the way, 374 00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:05,738 I could focus my total Attention on you, 375 00:20:05,738 --> 00:20:08,708 Taking you to A height of ecstasy 376 00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:10,310 You've never Dreamed possible. 377 00:20:10,310 --> 00:20:12,845 Yeah, I could Go for that. 378 00:20:14,647 --> 00:20:16,283 Well, I... 379 00:20:16,283 --> 00:20:19,919 I ripped up That release form In the bar. 380 00:20:19,919 --> 00:20:21,821 Well, there-- 381 00:20:22,922 --> 00:20:23,923 No. 382 00:20:25,925 --> 00:20:27,126 Unless... 383 00:20:27,126 --> 00:20:28,661 Unless what? 384 00:20:28,661 --> 00:20:30,897 Unless...No. 385 00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:32,732 No, tell me. 386 00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:36,102 Well, I happen to Have another copy Of that release form 387 00:20:36,102 --> 00:20:37,437 In my purse. 388 00:20:37,437 --> 00:20:38,871 Oh, what a break! 389 00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:41,941 I'm a lucky guy! 390 00:20:43,109 --> 00:20:44,711 You got a pen? 391 00:20:49,916 --> 00:20:54,821 Oh, I feel a terrible burden Lifted off my shoulders. 392 00:20:54,821 --> 00:20:56,155 Oh, yeah. 393 00:20:56,155 --> 00:20:57,790 Me, too. 394 00:20:57,790 --> 00:21:00,393 Ohh, what now? 395 00:21:01,428 --> 00:21:04,964 Well, you just lie back. 396 00:21:06,098 --> 00:21:07,900 Yeah? 397 00:21:07,900 --> 00:21:11,237 And close your eyes. 398 00:21:11,237 --> 00:21:13,306 Oh, yeah. 399 00:21:14,374 --> 00:21:16,909 And I'll check My phone messages. 400 00:21:18,645 --> 00:21:19,779 Excuse me? 401 00:21:19,779 --> 00:21:23,583 Well, I get Very distracted 402 00:21:23,583 --> 00:21:26,953 When I haven't Checked my messages. 403 00:21:26,953 --> 00:21:30,923 And you don't Want me to be Distracted, do you? 404 00:21:31,991 --> 00:21:33,493 [beep] 405 00:21:35,895 --> 00:21:38,331 Oh, my god! 406 00:21:39,732 --> 00:21:40,933 Uh-oh. 407 00:21:45,605 --> 00:21:47,774 She hung up the phone And said, 408 00:21:47,774 --> 00:21:50,810 "Cliff, I don't know How to tell you this, 409 00:21:50,810 --> 00:21:53,112 But my husband's Come back." 410 00:21:53,112 --> 00:21:56,683 She's married All this time And never told you? 411 00:21:56,683 --> 00:21:58,685 Yeah, it seems That her husband, 412 00:21:58,685 --> 00:22:01,688 A true and gallant soldier Of these united states, 413 00:22:01,688 --> 00:22:04,391 Was lost and presumed dead During some secret mission 414 00:22:04,391 --> 00:22:06,325 Out there in the far east. 415 00:22:06,325 --> 00:22:09,696 As it turns out, He was only wounded, 416 00:22:09,696 --> 00:22:12,532 Although he suffered Years of torture. 417 00:22:12,532 --> 00:22:15,802 Somehow he managed To dig a tunnel 418 00:22:15,802 --> 00:22:17,704 With a pair Of chopsticks 419 00:22:17,704 --> 00:22:22,709 And make his way To a pay phone And give her a call. 420 00:22:24,711 --> 00:22:27,714 Cliff, this is An unbelievable story. 421 00:22:27,714 --> 00:22:30,216 Oh, yeah, sammy. It's unbelievable to me, 422 00:22:30,216 --> 00:22:31,684 And I was there. 423 00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:36,923 She barely had time To blow me a kiss 424 00:22:36,923 --> 00:22:39,225 And wish me a happy life, And then she was gone, 425 00:22:39,225 --> 00:22:41,894 Like a dream in the night. 426 00:22:41,894 --> 00:22:44,296 What a maroon. 427 00:22:44,296 --> 00:22:47,734 I guess we were like A pair of lovers 428 00:22:47,734 --> 00:22:50,937 Who were never Meant to be. 429 00:22:50,937 --> 00:22:53,506 Like romeo and juliet. 430 00:22:54,941 --> 00:22:56,142 Rhett, scarlett. 431 00:22:57,944 --> 00:22:59,646 Heathcliff, cathy. 432 00:23:02,449 --> 00:23:03,750 Heath, cliff, And cathy. 433 00:23:03,750 --> 00:23:06,719 Isn't that three People, mr. Clavin? 30493

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