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1
00:00:02,603 --> 00:00:04,305
"Cheers" is filmed before
A live studio audience.
2
00:00:08,076 --> 00:00:09,710
Don't work too hard
There, diane.
3
00:00:09,710 --> 00:00:11,612
I don't mind.
4
00:00:11,612 --> 00:00:15,349
Our wedding day
Draws ever nearer,
5
00:00:15,349 --> 00:00:18,352
And all
This conditioning
Is simply preparation
6
00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:20,288
For that special moment
7
00:00:20,288 --> 00:00:22,490
When you and I
Exchange rings.
8
00:00:22,490 --> 00:00:25,459
My hands
Must be pristine,
9
00:00:25,459 --> 00:00:28,262
Because everyone's eyes
Will be on my fingers.
10
00:00:28,262 --> 00:00:31,399
And everyone's fingers
Will be down their throats.
11
00:00:33,301 --> 00:00:37,471
Oh, carla.
Sweet, pathetic carla.
12
00:00:37,471 --> 00:00:40,874
Can't you see that
I'm in too good a mood
13
00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:43,844
To let your petty asides
Bother me?
14
00:00:43,844 --> 00:00:47,047
I'm afraid
You'll just have to find
Some other way
15
00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:48,816
Of bugging me.
16
00:00:48,816 --> 00:00:50,851
If you insist.
17
00:00:50,851 --> 00:00:52,720
Aah!
18
00:01:01,762 --> 00:01:04,432
* makin' your way
In the world today *
19
00:01:04,432 --> 00:01:07,301
* takes everything
You've got *
20
00:01:07,301 --> 00:01:10,204
* takin' a break
From all your worries *
21
00:01:10,204 --> 00:01:12,440
* sure would
Help a lot *
22
00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:16,710
* wouldn't you like
To get away *
23
00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:21,515
* sometimes
You wanna go *
24
00:01:21,515 --> 00:01:25,119
* where everybody
Knows your name *
25
00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:30,291
* and they're always
Glad you came *
26
00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:33,761
* you wanna be
Where you can see *
27
00:01:33,761 --> 00:01:36,397
* our troubles
Are all the same *
28
00:01:36,397 --> 00:01:37,598
* you wanna be *
29
00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:40,668
* where everybody
Knows your name *
30
00:01:41,735 --> 00:01:44,538
* you wanna go
Where people know *
31
00:01:44,538 --> 00:01:46,407
* people are
All the same *
32
00:01:46,407 --> 00:01:47,808
* you wanna go *
33
00:01:47,808 --> 00:01:51,345
* where everybody
Knows your name **
34
00:02:08,896 --> 00:02:11,232
Yes, thank you
For telling me.
35
00:02:11,232 --> 00:02:13,634
If you don't
Hear from me
In an hour,
36
00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:15,769
I'll be there.
Ok. Thank you.
37
00:02:15,769 --> 00:02:19,507
Sam, may I
Speak to you
For a minute?
38
00:02:19,507 --> 00:02:22,976
It would be
A new record
If you do.
39
00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:27,648
That was
A buddhist monastery
Called the glade.
40
00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:30,651
I've been hoping
To go on retreat there,
41
00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:32,653
And guess what.
They have a vacancy.
42
00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:34,655
Great.
I heard all the monks
43
00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:37,291
Went to ft. Lauderdale
This year.
44
00:02:37,291 --> 00:02:39,693
No, sam, it's
Not a resort.
45
00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:42,663
It's a contemplative
Retreat
46
00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:45,733
Where people go as
A means of purifying
Their souls.
47
00:02:45,733 --> 00:02:49,002
For two weeks, you're
Isolated from others
48
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:50,571
To commune
With yourself.
49
00:02:50,571 --> 00:02:52,740
You're provided with
A small room,
50
00:02:52,740 --> 00:02:56,577
You're fed pure,
Toxin-free foods.
51
00:02:56,577 --> 00:03:00,013
Oh, wait. Wait,
And...
52
00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:03,317
They have
The biggest buddha
East of the mississippi.
53
00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:07,688
Boy, he is a bruiser,
Isn't he?
54
00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:09,690
Well, it's
Not exactly vegas,
55
00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:13,694
But all right,
I'll give it a try.
What should I bring?
56
00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:18,932
Oh...No, sam.
I'm going alone.
57
00:03:18,932 --> 00:03:24,037
Only in my solitude
Can I discover
Who we are.
58
00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:25,906
Oh, wait a minute here.
59
00:03:25,906 --> 00:03:27,475
This isn't
One of those weird cults
60
00:03:27,475 --> 00:03:28,976
Where they mess
With your head
61
00:03:28,976 --> 00:03:32,580
And you end up
Handing out flowers
At the airport?
62
00:03:32,580 --> 00:03:34,415
You will be coming back,
Won't you?
63
00:03:34,415 --> 00:03:38,252
No, I won't
Be coming back,
But I will.
64
00:03:41,255 --> 00:03:45,259
I guess I just made
Up a little zen
Koan, didn't I?
65
00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:49,630
Let me explain.
66
00:03:49,630 --> 00:03:53,334
A koan is a paradox
Upon which one meditates
67
00:03:53,334 --> 00:03:55,836
In order to become
More enlightened.
68
00:03:55,836 --> 00:03:57,471
For example,
69
00:03:57,471 --> 00:04:00,808
What was your face
Before your parents
Were born?
70
00:04:00,808 --> 00:04:02,743
Easy. A "10."
71
00:04:04,177 --> 00:04:07,014
This is kind of fun.
You got any more?
72
00:04:07,014 --> 00:04:09,683
I'm off to
The glade. It is
All right, isn't it?
73
00:04:09,683 --> 00:04:13,354
Yeah. What the heck.
Why not? Sure. Go ahead.
74
00:04:14,822 --> 00:04:16,357
Good-bye, my love.
75
00:04:18,025 --> 00:04:19,593
Bye-bye.
Steal me an ashtray.
76
00:04:21,995 --> 00:04:25,699
Hey, hey,
Is diane taking
The day off again?
77
00:04:25,699 --> 00:04:27,668
No.
78
00:04:27,668 --> 00:04:28,636
Good.
79
00:04:28,636 --> 00:04:30,504
She's taking
Two weeks off.
80
00:04:30,504 --> 00:04:32,306
No, sammy,
That's not fair!
Come on!
81
00:04:32,306 --> 00:04:35,309
She's always taking off
For one stupid reason
Or another.
82
00:04:35,309 --> 00:04:37,044
Can't we just
Kill her?
83
00:04:37,044 --> 00:04:39,847
She's my fiancee,
Carla.
84
00:04:39,847 --> 00:04:40,914
Is that a yes?
85
00:04:40,914 --> 00:04:41,849
No.
86
00:04:43,417 --> 00:04:45,419
Hey, everybody.
87
00:04:45,419 --> 00:04:47,588
Hey, cliffie.
88
00:04:47,588 --> 00:04:48,722
What's with your leg?
89
00:04:48,722 --> 00:04:50,891
I'd rather not
Talk about it.
90
00:04:53,861 --> 00:04:55,663
Got bitten by a dog.
91
00:04:55,663 --> 00:04:58,466
10 stitches
To close the wound.
92
00:04:58,466 --> 00:05:01,969
I tell you, these
Unleashed animals are
A menace to postal workers.
93
00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:03,604
You're gonna sue,
Aren't you?
94
00:05:03,604 --> 00:05:06,474
I may be wrong,
But I don't think
95
00:05:06,474 --> 00:05:09,042
You can sue members
Of the animal kingdom.
96
00:05:11,512 --> 00:05:14,648
I'm talking about
The owners, nelly bell.
97
00:05:15,516 --> 00:05:17,518
There's
No need to sue.
98
00:05:17,518 --> 00:05:19,587
I left a strongly worded note
In their mailbox.
99
00:05:19,587 --> 00:05:22,523
That's too bad, cliff.
I know a lawyer who'd
Take it on a contingency basis.
100
00:05:22,523 --> 00:05:23,924
It wouldn't cost you a dime,
101
00:05:23,924 --> 00:05:25,793
And you might end up
With a sizable settlement.
102
00:05:25,793 --> 00:05:28,996
If it gets you
Off my back, all right.
103
00:05:28,996 --> 00:05:30,664
[telephone rings]
104
00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:35,936
Cheers.
105
00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:39,640
Yeah.
Just a minute, please.
106
00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:41,642
Mr. Clavin, for you.
107
00:05:41,642 --> 00:05:44,344
Take a message.
I'll call 'em back.
108
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:46,647
Can he get back to you?
109
00:05:46,647 --> 00:05:49,349
Oh, yes, ma'am.
She wants to know
How your leg is.
110
00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:52,820
The mutt's owner
Tracked me down.
111
00:05:52,820 --> 00:05:55,756
Tell her that she can
Deep 6 that phony
Concern of hers.
112
00:05:55,756 --> 00:05:58,526
It doesn't cut it
With me.
113
00:05:58,526 --> 00:06:00,828
You can deep 6
Your phony concern.
114
00:06:00,828 --> 00:06:03,697
It doesn't cut it
With him.
115
00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:06,867
Tell her my leg
And I will see
Her in court.
116
00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:09,369
His leg and him
Will see you in court.
117
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:12,606
Ok. I'll tell him.
118
00:06:12,606 --> 00:06:15,375
Your mom wants you
To be home by 6:00.
119
00:06:16,844 --> 00:06:20,548
Woody, why didn't
You tell me it was
My mother?
120
00:06:20,548 --> 00:06:21,615
I just did.
121
00:06:21,615 --> 00:06:23,116
No. I mean before.
122
00:06:23,116 --> 00:06:25,819
I didn't know it was her
Until I picked up the phone.
123
00:06:25,819 --> 00:06:29,322
No. Woody...
124
00:06:29,322 --> 00:06:31,659
When you were
Talking to her,
125
00:06:31,659 --> 00:06:33,160
Why didn't you say
It was her?
126
00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:34,728
She already knew that.
127
00:06:36,630 --> 00:06:37,998
I'd leave it
Alone, cliff.
128
00:06:37,998 --> 00:06:40,468
I think it's
One of those
Zen koan things.
129
00:06:49,209 --> 00:06:50,511
Buona sera, mi amigos.
130
00:06:50,511 --> 00:06:52,513
Hey, cliffie.
How's your leg?
131
00:06:52,513 --> 00:06:54,548
Stiffening up there,
Sammy.
132
00:06:54,548 --> 00:06:56,349
The muscles
Are all cramped.
133
00:06:56,349 --> 00:06:57,985
I think the wound's
Getting a little
Infected.
134
00:06:57,985 --> 00:07:00,120
The mental anguish
That goes along
With this.
135
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:02,055
You just can't
Put a price on this.
136
00:07:02,055 --> 00:07:05,125
Let me guess here.
You've seen
An attorney.
137
00:07:05,125 --> 00:07:09,630
Yep. The guy
Said 97% of all these
Canine attack cases
138
00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:12,633
Are decided in favor
Of the postman.
139
00:07:12,633 --> 00:07:14,201
Well, good for you.
140
00:07:14,201 --> 00:07:16,637
You deserve to get
A little satisfaction
Out of this.
141
00:07:16,637 --> 00:07:19,106
About 200,000 clams worth.
142
00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:20,407
200,000--
143
00:07:20,407 --> 00:07:22,643
Dollars.
Dinner is on cliff,
All right.
144
00:07:22,643 --> 00:07:24,478
What do you say,
Buddy?
145
00:07:24,478 --> 00:07:26,079
I go upstairs,
Snag us a table,
146
00:07:26,079 --> 00:07:28,549
Check out
The specials.
I'll be right back.
147
00:07:29,717 --> 00:07:32,653
Maybe I can sue somebody
About my broken thumb.
148
00:07:32,653 --> 00:07:34,655
I mean, after all,
I did slip on the ice.
149
00:07:34,655 --> 00:07:36,256
Well, maybe so.
Where did it happen?
150
00:07:36,256 --> 00:07:37,658
Right outside
The bar here.
151
00:07:37,658 --> 00:07:39,026
No. You don't have a case.
152
00:07:40,494 --> 00:07:41,762
Hey, cliff.
153
00:07:41,762 --> 00:07:43,797
Have you ever thought
You might be suing
154
00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:45,799
Some poor, sweet
Little old lady?
155
00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:47,801
Hey, listen, there,
Sharpie, who she is
Is irrelevant.
156
00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:50,804
The letter
Of the law
Has been violated.
157
00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:53,807
I can't wait
To get her in court
158
00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:55,809
And tear her
To pieces
159
00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:57,811
With my verbal
Gymnastics.
160
00:08:02,149 --> 00:08:06,987
I'm looking for
A mr. Cliff clavin.
161
00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:07,921
Yep.
162
00:08:09,690 --> 00:08:12,693
You left this note
In my mailbox.
163
00:08:12,693 --> 00:08:15,829
I'm afraid
It was my dog
That bit you.
164
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:17,965
Uh...
165
00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:21,935
Uh...
166
00:08:21,935 --> 00:08:22,903
Excuse me.
167
00:08:22,903 --> 00:08:26,106
Cliffie,
What are you
Trying to say?
168
00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:29,610
Uh...
169
00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:32,946
Yes, she is
Very attractive.
170
00:08:32,946 --> 00:08:37,217
Mr. Clavin,
I'm terribly sorry
About what happened.
171
00:08:37,217 --> 00:08:39,920
How is your leg?
172
00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:42,322
Uh...
173
00:08:42,322 --> 00:08:43,724
Cliffie,
We're in luck.
174
00:08:43,724 --> 00:08:45,726
The special
Is filet, uh...
175
00:08:45,726 --> 00:08:48,161
Filet, uh...
Filet, uh...
176
00:08:48,161 --> 00:08:50,731
Great. Stereo.
177
00:08:50,731 --> 00:08:51,965
Uh...
Uh...
178
00:08:51,965 --> 00:08:54,802
Guys, guys, guys.
Hey. Whoa!
179
00:08:54,802 --> 00:08:56,870
Sit down.
Sit down.
180
00:08:58,005 --> 00:09:02,242
Can I offer you
A drink, miss...
181
00:09:02,242 --> 00:09:03,777
Keith. Madeline keith.
182
00:09:03,777 --> 00:09:06,113
White wine
Would be lovely.
183
00:09:06,113 --> 00:09:08,582
Coming right up.
184
00:09:08,582 --> 00:09:12,252
Look. I don't have
Very much money,
185
00:09:12,252 --> 00:09:16,423
But I'd like to help
With the doctor bills.
186
00:09:16,423 --> 00:09:17,591
That's good.
187
00:09:17,591 --> 00:09:20,093
That's good.
188
00:09:20,093 --> 00:09:24,765
Anything to ease the burden
On you and your family.
189
00:09:24,765 --> 00:09:26,767
You're
Not married.
190
00:09:26,767 --> 00:09:28,636
You're not married.
191
00:09:29,837 --> 00:09:32,005
I mean
I'm not married.
192
00:09:32,005 --> 00:09:34,908
But I could be
If I wanted to,
Right sam?
193
00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:36,176
Sure.
194
00:09:36,176 --> 00:09:40,380
I can't imagine
A man like you
Living alone.
195
00:09:40,380 --> 00:09:42,215
I don't live alone.
196
00:09:42,215 --> 00:09:44,284
I live
With my mother.
197
00:09:44,284 --> 00:09:46,386
Oh?
198
00:09:46,386 --> 00:09:48,388
It's not
That I have to.
199
00:09:48,388 --> 00:09:49,957
We're related.
200
00:09:49,957 --> 00:09:53,727
Don't get me wrong.
I mean, I like her.
201
00:09:53,727 --> 00:09:55,328
I think it's wonderful
202
00:09:55,328 --> 00:09:59,266
That you're taking care
Of your mother
In her old age.
203
00:10:01,034 --> 00:10:05,038
I couldn't throw her
Out in the street,
I guess.
204
00:10:05,038 --> 00:10:06,707
I mean,
Who'd make my lunch?
205
00:10:12,412 --> 00:10:14,815
Mr. Clavin.
206
00:10:14,815 --> 00:10:17,818
You know, it's too bad
We didn't meet
207
00:10:17,818 --> 00:10:20,087
Under different
Circumstances.
208
00:10:20,087 --> 00:10:22,155
We could have
Been friends.
209
00:10:22,155 --> 00:10:23,891
Yeah.
210
00:10:23,891 --> 00:10:27,027
I guess that is
Too bad, huh?
211
00:10:27,027 --> 00:10:27,828
Look.
212
00:10:27,828 --> 00:10:31,564
Here is my number.
213
00:10:31,564 --> 00:10:36,336
If you need anything,
Call me.
214
00:10:41,775 --> 00:10:43,076
Maybe it's just me,
215
00:10:43,076 --> 00:10:46,847
But I that think woman's
Kind of pretty.
216
00:10:46,847 --> 00:10:51,084
Really?
I hadn't noticed.
217
00:10:51,084 --> 00:10:53,453
Too busy thinking
About the lawsuit?
218
00:10:53,453 --> 00:10:54,922
Lawsuit?
219
00:11:08,201 --> 00:11:12,672
Body slam to the back.
He's pinned by hulk hogan.
220
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:15,308
1...2...3...
The hulk wins it.
221
00:11:15,308 --> 00:11:18,746
Man, that hulk hogan
Is amazing, isn't he?
222
00:11:18,746 --> 00:11:20,347
Woody,
The thing is fixed.
223
00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:24,151
That's too bad.
Hulk hogan can't
Have children.
224
00:11:28,155 --> 00:11:30,357
It's evolution's loss.
225
00:11:35,562 --> 00:11:36,563
Hey, everybody.
226
00:11:36,563 --> 00:11:38,065
Cliffie, who died?
227
00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:42,302
The old cliff clavin,
That's who.
228
00:11:42,302 --> 00:11:43,570
Nice threads.
229
00:11:43,570 --> 00:11:44,838
Thank you, sammy.
230
00:11:44,838 --> 00:11:47,240
Can I have a little drink
There woody?
231
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:48,641
May enough time
232
00:11:48,641 --> 00:11:50,377
Before madeline
And I go out to dinner
This evening.
233
00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:52,545
Wait a minute.
Are you still
Seeing each other?
234
00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:53,914
Every day this week,
Buddy.
235
00:11:53,914 --> 00:11:55,548
Oh, things are getting
Pretty hot.
236
00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:59,352
Sammy, our relationship
Isn't based merely
On the physical.
237
00:11:59,352 --> 00:12:00,921
He isn't getting any.
238
00:12:03,123 --> 00:12:06,393
I better go check up
On our reservations.
239
00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:09,396
Cliff, I hate to bring up
An ugly subject, but--
240
00:12:09,396 --> 00:12:12,532
That's ok, sam,
We're already
In the area.
241
00:12:12,532 --> 00:12:15,402
Are you still planning
To go through with the lawsuit?
242
00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:20,774
You know how slowly
The wheels of justice
Grind there, samuel.
243
00:12:20,774 --> 00:12:23,811
Uh-oh. Guess what sap
Is being suckered
244
00:12:23,811 --> 00:12:26,513
Into dropping a lawsuit.
245
00:12:26,513 --> 00:12:27,881
Well, not
Necessarily now.
246
00:12:27,881 --> 00:12:30,750
Let's just
Take a look
At all these facts,
247
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,185
As complicated
As they may be,
248
00:12:32,185 --> 00:12:34,087
And see if we can
Come to a conclusion
About this.
249
00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:35,889
Ok, let's start with
This gorgeous woman
250
00:12:35,889 --> 00:12:38,391
Is interested in cliff,
All right?
251
00:12:38,391 --> 00:12:40,760
I don't think
We have to go any
Further than that.
252
00:12:42,029 --> 00:12:43,430
Now, just a second.
253
00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:45,365
I don't think
We're really
Being fair.
254
00:12:45,365 --> 00:12:46,967
Now, let's say
If an ugly woman
Were interested in cliff,
255
00:12:46,967 --> 00:12:48,435
Would any of us
Be suspicious?
256
00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:51,538
If a living woman
Were interested in cliff,
257
00:12:51,538 --> 00:12:53,073
I'd be suspicious.
258
00:12:53,073 --> 00:12:55,108
I got to go along
With dr. Crane on this.
259
00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:57,644
I can't believe
That someone would
Actually lie
260
00:12:57,644 --> 00:13:00,780
Just to save
A lot of money.
261
00:13:01,648 --> 00:13:03,951
Woody, don't help me, ok?
262
00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:08,355
Somebody has got to
Tell cliff the truth.
263
00:13:08,355 --> 00:13:11,658
I guarantee
He'll never talk to
The person who does.
264
00:13:11,658 --> 00:13:15,262
Ok. You talked me
Into it.
265
00:13:15,262 --> 00:13:17,397
Hey, hopalong.
266
00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:20,533
Come here. I want
To talk to you.
267
00:13:22,903 --> 00:13:25,906
I don't know
How to tell you this.
268
00:13:25,906 --> 00:13:28,108
Wait a minute.
Yes, I do.
269
00:13:28,108 --> 00:13:29,910
You're an idiot.
270
00:13:29,910 --> 00:13:33,413
Everybody in the bar
Thinks that babe is
Playing you for a fool.
271
00:13:33,413 --> 00:13:36,616
The second
You drop your lawsuit,
You're history.
272
00:13:36,616 --> 00:13:37,918
You are a sap.
273
00:13:37,918 --> 00:13:41,488
I know, but I'm having
The time of my life.
274
00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:45,025
How often am I sapped
With a beautiful woman?
275
00:13:45,025 --> 00:13:47,660
I mean,
I usually am a sap
With the bowsers.
276
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:51,698
But when madeline and I
Walk into a restaurant,
277
00:13:51,698 --> 00:13:53,433
All the guys' heads,
They turn.
278
00:13:53,433 --> 00:13:55,135
And they're not saying,
"Hey,
279
00:13:55,135 --> 00:13:57,270
There's a beautiful
Woman over there
With a sap."
280
00:13:57,270 --> 00:13:58,872
Yes, they are.
281
00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:03,911
Look, all I know
Is as long as
We're together,
282
00:14:03,911 --> 00:14:08,648
There's a good chance
She may grant me
The ultimate favor.
283
00:14:08,648 --> 00:14:10,150
Yeah. Right, clavin.
284
00:14:10,150 --> 00:14:13,586
You're threatening
To sue her,
Not kill her.
285
00:14:19,492 --> 00:14:20,860
Oh, madeline...
286
00:14:22,029 --> 00:14:24,531
You look ravishing
As ever.
287
00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:27,734
Thank you, cliff.
I thought you'd like it.
288
00:14:27,734 --> 00:14:30,737
Like it? If I had
Better legs,
289
00:14:30,737 --> 00:14:32,205
I'd get one
For myself.
290
00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:35,308
Oh, cliff,
You're adorable.
291
00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:41,214
We'd better get going.
We have reservations.
292
00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:44,751
Before we go, I think
We need to sit down
293
00:14:44,751 --> 00:14:46,586
And have a talk.
294
00:14:48,788 --> 00:14:50,958
Is something wrong?
295
00:14:50,958 --> 00:14:53,426
Actually, yes.
296
00:14:54,962 --> 00:14:57,730
What is it,
Madeline?
297
00:14:57,730 --> 00:15:04,004
Well, this lawsuit
Has been preying
On my mind,
298
00:15:04,004 --> 00:15:07,774
And my attorney
Gave me this.
299
00:15:07,774 --> 00:15:10,810
It's a waiver form.
300
00:15:10,810 --> 00:15:15,482
It releases me
From all liability
For the dog bite.
301
00:15:17,850 --> 00:15:21,121
I guess you want me
To sign it, huh?
302
00:15:21,121 --> 00:15:23,790
I want you
To tear it up.
303
00:15:23,790 --> 00:15:24,791
I don't
Understand--
304
00:15:24,791 --> 00:15:27,327
Please.
Just tear it up.
305
00:15:35,802 --> 00:15:37,604
When this first began,
306
00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:41,241
I thought I could
Get you to drop the lawsuit
307
00:15:41,241 --> 00:15:43,243
If I was nice to you.
308
00:15:43,243 --> 00:15:47,614
But then the funniest
Thing happened.
309
00:15:48,715 --> 00:15:51,684
I grew to like you...
A lot.
310
00:15:52,919 --> 00:15:55,822
But I'll understand
If you hate me
311
00:15:55,822 --> 00:15:57,757
For what I was
Going to do.
312
00:15:57,757 --> 00:15:59,959
I was playing
With your emotions
313
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:02,929
When you've been
So honest with me.
314
00:16:02,929 --> 00:16:05,965
Uh, I forgive you,
Madeline.
315
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,967
No, you're
A decent guy.
316
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:09,936
Maybe I just
Better go.
317
00:16:09,936 --> 00:16:11,271
Madeline, wait.
Uh...
318
00:16:11,271 --> 00:16:12,739
Look, I've--I've...
319
00:16:12,739 --> 00:16:17,210
Anything you did
Doesn't make
A difference to me.
320
00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:19,946
You're not
Just saying that
To make me feel better?
321
00:16:19,946 --> 00:16:21,948
I swear it.
Scout's honor.
322
00:16:21,948 --> 00:16:24,584
Oh, cliff. Oh.
323
00:16:29,222 --> 00:16:32,225
Doesn't it feel good
To clear the air?
324
00:16:32,225 --> 00:16:33,660
Oh, yeah, it does.
325
00:16:36,229 --> 00:16:39,999
Look, why don't we
Forget about the dinner
326
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:42,702
And rent
A room somewhere
327
00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:45,638
And just celebrate
Our socks off.
328
00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:52,512
Really?
329
00:16:55,948 --> 00:16:57,317
Well...
330
00:16:57,317 --> 00:17:01,288
Well, the ritz
Is just around
The corner.
331
00:17:01,288 --> 00:17:05,425
Why cliff, I think
That's a wonderful idea.
332
00:17:07,727 --> 00:17:09,829
Carla, would you
Be a dear
333
00:17:09,829 --> 00:17:14,267
And cancel
Dinner reservations
For the sap party.
334
00:17:18,205 --> 00:17:21,674
We're going to
Have ritz service
At the room.
335
00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:29,649
I meant ritz service
At the room.
336
00:17:29,649 --> 00:17:33,620
Can you believe
I said ritz service
At the room?
337
00:17:33,620 --> 00:17:37,357
What I meant was ritz
Service at the room.
338
00:17:44,664 --> 00:17:46,699
[ring]
339
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:50,403
Cheers.
340
00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:52,372
Hey, mr. Clavin.
What's new?
341
00:17:52,372 --> 00:17:53,940
Sure thing.
Hold on.
342
00:17:53,940 --> 00:17:55,575
Sam, it's for you.
343
00:17:57,210 --> 00:17:58,611
Yeah, cliff.
344
00:17:58,611 --> 00:18:03,116
Oh, sammy. Sammy.
It's about to happen.
345
00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:07,420
And you stopped
To call me?
346
00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:14,794
She's in the john
Putting on her best
Bib and tucker.
347
00:18:14,794 --> 00:18:16,028
I, uh...
348
00:18:16,028 --> 00:18:19,399
Sam, can I make
A small confession?
349
00:18:19,399 --> 00:18:20,833
Sure.
350
00:18:20,833 --> 00:18:22,702
I'm scared.
351
00:18:23,803 --> 00:18:26,473
Well, cliff,
If it's any consolation,
352
00:18:26,473 --> 00:18:29,642
I've seen her,
And I'm scared for you.
353
00:18:34,814 --> 00:18:36,849
Oh, my god.
354
00:18:38,918 --> 00:18:40,487
Oh, sam.
355
00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:53,166
Slide over, cliff.
356
00:19:02,375 --> 00:19:05,478
No, I meant
This way, cliff.
357
00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:06,579
Oh.
358
00:19:07,747 --> 00:19:09,182
Yes, ma'am.
359
00:19:15,588 --> 00:19:16,856
Now...
360
00:19:16,856 --> 00:19:19,592
Isn't this wonderful?
361
00:19:19,592 --> 00:19:21,628
Yeah.
362
00:19:23,396 --> 00:19:27,534
I wish the guys
In the bar
Could see this.
363
00:19:29,068 --> 00:19:30,237
Really?
364
00:19:30,237 --> 00:19:31,571
Oh, I mean...
365
00:19:31,571 --> 00:19:34,574
It was just
A figure of speech.
366
00:19:34,574 --> 00:19:36,876
They just think
That we're together
367
00:19:36,876 --> 00:19:40,213
Because you want me
To drop the lawsuit.
368
00:19:43,082 --> 00:19:46,118
Well, they couldn't
Be more wrong.
369
00:19:46,118 --> 00:19:48,888
Oh, well, I know.
370
00:19:48,888 --> 00:19:50,857
I know. It's just...
371
00:19:53,092 --> 00:19:57,764
I wish I could
Convince them of that.
372
00:19:57,764 --> 00:19:58,965
I know.
373
00:19:58,965 --> 00:20:02,869
If only
That silly lawsuit
Were out of the way,
374
00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:05,738
I could focus my total
Attention on you,
375
00:20:05,738 --> 00:20:08,708
Taking you to
A height of ecstasy
376
00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:10,310
You've never
Dreamed possible.
377
00:20:10,310 --> 00:20:12,845
Yeah, I could
Go for that.
378
00:20:14,647 --> 00:20:16,283
Well, I...
379
00:20:16,283 --> 00:20:19,919
I ripped up
That release form
In the bar.
380
00:20:19,919 --> 00:20:21,821
Well, there--
381
00:20:22,922 --> 00:20:23,923
No.
382
00:20:25,925 --> 00:20:27,126
Unless...
383
00:20:27,126 --> 00:20:28,661
Unless what?
384
00:20:28,661 --> 00:20:30,897
Unless...No.
385
00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:32,732
No, tell me.
386
00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:36,102
Well, I happen to
Have another copy
Of that release form
387
00:20:36,102 --> 00:20:37,437
In my purse.
388
00:20:37,437 --> 00:20:38,871
Oh, what a break!
389
00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:41,941
I'm a lucky guy!
390
00:20:43,109 --> 00:20:44,711
You got a pen?
391
00:20:49,916 --> 00:20:54,821
Oh, I feel a terrible burden
Lifted off my shoulders.
392
00:20:54,821 --> 00:20:56,155
Oh, yeah.
393
00:20:56,155 --> 00:20:57,790
Me, too.
394
00:20:57,790 --> 00:21:00,393
Ohh, what now?
395
00:21:01,428 --> 00:21:04,964
Well, you just lie back.
396
00:21:06,098 --> 00:21:07,900
Yeah?
397
00:21:07,900 --> 00:21:11,237
And close your eyes.
398
00:21:11,237 --> 00:21:13,306
Oh, yeah.
399
00:21:14,374 --> 00:21:16,909
And I'll check
My phone messages.
400
00:21:18,645 --> 00:21:19,779
Excuse me?
401
00:21:19,779 --> 00:21:23,583
Well, I get
Very distracted
402
00:21:23,583 --> 00:21:26,953
When I haven't
Checked my messages.
403
00:21:26,953 --> 00:21:30,923
And you don't
Want me to be
Distracted, do you?
404
00:21:31,991 --> 00:21:33,493
[beep]
405
00:21:35,895 --> 00:21:38,331
Oh, my god!
406
00:21:39,732 --> 00:21:40,933
Uh-oh.
407
00:21:45,605 --> 00:21:47,774
She hung up the phone
And said,
408
00:21:47,774 --> 00:21:50,810
"Cliff, I don't know
How to tell you this,
409
00:21:50,810 --> 00:21:53,112
But my husband's
Come back."
410
00:21:53,112 --> 00:21:56,683
She's married
All this time
And never told you?
411
00:21:56,683 --> 00:21:58,685
Yeah, it seems
That her husband,
412
00:21:58,685 --> 00:22:01,688
A true and gallant soldier
Of these united states,
413
00:22:01,688 --> 00:22:04,391
Was lost and presumed dead
During some secret mission
414
00:22:04,391 --> 00:22:06,325
Out there in the far east.
415
00:22:06,325 --> 00:22:09,696
As it turns out,
He was only wounded,
416
00:22:09,696 --> 00:22:12,532
Although he suffered
Years of torture.
417
00:22:12,532 --> 00:22:15,802
Somehow he managed
To dig a tunnel
418
00:22:15,802 --> 00:22:17,704
With a pair
Of chopsticks
419
00:22:17,704 --> 00:22:22,709
And make his way
To a pay phone
And give her a call.
420
00:22:24,711 --> 00:22:27,714
Cliff, this is
An unbelievable story.
421
00:22:27,714 --> 00:22:30,216
Oh, yeah, sammy.
It's unbelievable to me,
422
00:22:30,216 --> 00:22:31,684
And I was there.
423
00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:36,923
She barely had time
To blow me a kiss
424
00:22:36,923 --> 00:22:39,225
And wish me a happy life,
And then she was gone,
425
00:22:39,225 --> 00:22:41,894
Like a dream in the night.
426
00:22:41,894 --> 00:22:44,296
What a maroon.
427
00:22:44,296 --> 00:22:47,734
I guess we were like
A pair of lovers
428
00:22:47,734 --> 00:22:50,937
Who were never
Meant to be.
429
00:22:50,937 --> 00:22:53,506
Like romeo and juliet.
430
00:22:54,941 --> 00:22:56,142
Rhett, scarlett.
431
00:22:57,944 --> 00:22:59,646
Heathcliff, cathy.
432
00:23:02,449 --> 00:23:03,750
Heath, cliff,
And cathy.
433
00:23:03,750 --> 00:23:06,719
Isn't that three
People, mr. Clavin?
30493
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