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1
00:00:03,471 --> 00:00:05,239
"Cheers" is filmed before
A live studio audience.
2
00:00:07,575 --> 00:00:10,411
Hi, wood. Let me get a beer,
Will ya?
3
00:00:10,411 --> 00:00:12,946
Oh, say, what did you do
To your thumb there?
4
00:00:12,946 --> 00:00:14,748
Well,
It's a long story.
5
00:00:14,748 --> 00:00:17,785
But I was playing
This guy some pool
Last night.
6
00:00:17,785 --> 00:00:20,554
I had this
1-4-7 combination.
7
00:00:20,554 --> 00:00:24,525
I was trying to show
Off and sink all of
Them in one shot,
8
00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:27,928
But the balls
Were positioned
In such a way
9
00:00:27,928 --> 00:00:29,530
That I had to lean
Way over the edge of
The table
10
00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:32,100
And get in a kind of
Twisted-up--
11
00:00:32,100 --> 00:00:33,901
Yeah. So, what, you fell
And broke your thumb?
12
00:00:33,901 --> 00:00:37,238
No. I still couldn't
Get the shoot, so I went
And got the bridge.
13
00:00:37,238 --> 00:00:38,339
And I got up on a chair.
14
00:00:38,339 --> 00:00:40,841
I put all my weight
On the bridge.
15
00:00:40,841 --> 00:00:44,044
It snapped, and you
Fell and broke your thumb?
16
00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:47,448
No. I made the shot,
And I beat the guy.
17
00:00:47,448 --> 00:00:50,084
Oh, so he got angry
And he broke your thumb?
18
00:00:50,084 --> 00:00:53,354
No. I beat him fair and
Square and he paid me
The 10 bucks he owed me.
19
00:00:53,354 --> 00:00:55,556
So how did
You break your thumb?
20
00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:58,692
I slipped on the ice
On my way home.
21
00:01:00,761 --> 00:01:05,199
Woody, why did you
Go into all that
Long-winded detail
22
00:01:05,199 --> 00:01:07,000
About the game?
23
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:11,505
It wouldn't have been
Much of a story without
The pool stuff.
24
00:01:11,505 --> 00:01:14,408
Yo, woody.
What happened
To your thumb?
25
00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:16,344
I slipped
On the ice.
26
00:01:20,348 --> 00:01:22,383
Woody,
Why didn't you tell him
27
00:01:22,383 --> 00:01:24,252
The long,
Drawn-out version?
28
00:01:24,252 --> 00:01:26,720
That's the guy
I was playing
Pool with.
29
00:01:33,594 --> 00:01:36,130
* makin' your way
In the world today *
30
00:01:36,130 --> 00:01:38,799
* takes everything
You've got *
31
00:01:38,799 --> 00:01:41,902
* takin' a break
From all your worries *
32
00:01:41,902 --> 00:01:44,138
* sure would
Help a lot *
33
00:01:45,473 --> 00:01:48,509
* wouldn't you like
To get away? *
34
00:01:51,179 --> 00:01:53,214
* sometimes
You wanna go *
35
00:01:53,214 --> 00:01:56,750
* where everybody
Knows your name *
36
00:01:58,519 --> 00:02:01,789
* and they're always
Glad you came *
37
00:02:03,391 --> 00:02:05,626
* you wanna be
Where you can see *
38
00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:08,095
* our troubles
Are all the same *
39
00:02:08,095 --> 00:02:09,363
* you wanna be *
40
00:02:09,363 --> 00:02:12,500
* where everybody
Knows your name *
41
00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:16,237
* you wanna go
Where people know *
42
00:02:16,237 --> 00:02:18,105
* people are
All the same *
43
00:02:18,105 --> 00:02:19,407
* you wanna go *
44
00:02:19,407 --> 00:02:22,910
* where everybody
Knows your name **
45
00:02:41,295 --> 00:02:43,631
What the hell
Is keeping diane?
46
00:02:43,631 --> 00:02:45,199
I'm gonna be late
For school.
47
00:02:45,199 --> 00:02:46,467
School, carla?
I must say,
48
00:02:46,467 --> 00:02:48,135
I'm delightfully
Astonished.
49
00:02:48,135 --> 00:02:50,070
I've always held
That adult education
50
00:02:50,070 --> 00:02:52,273
Is one of the finest gifts
That one can give oneself.
51
00:02:52,273 --> 00:02:54,141
Kudos on joining
The ever-burgeoning ranks
52
00:02:54,141 --> 00:02:55,743
Of enlightened,
Wondering minds
53
00:02:55,743 --> 00:02:57,745
Seeking betterment
Through knowledge.
54
00:02:57,745 --> 00:03:00,414
It's traffic school,
You nimrod.
55
00:03:02,483 --> 00:03:03,784
Got pinched,
Huh, carla?
56
00:03:03,784 --> 00:03:06,587
Yeah, speeding.
But it wasn't my fault.
57
00:03:06,587 --> 00:03:09,590
There was a leaf
Stuck on my windshield.
58
00:03:09,590 --> 00:03:13,126
I had to gun her up to 80
To blow it off.
59
00:03:13,126 --> 00:03:14,595
The cop didn't
Believe you?
60
00:03:14,595 --> 00:03:16,730
No. Couldn't
Be bribed either.
61
00:03:16,730 --> 00:03:19,600
Carla, you offered
A policeman money?
62
00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:22,603
Money? With a body
Like this?
63
00:03:26,307 --> 00:03:28,108
Hello, everyone.
We're back.
64
00:03:28,108 --> 00:03:29,810
Sammy, where
You been, man?
65
00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:31,645
Picking china patterns.
66
00:03:33,180 --> 00:03:38,085
This may have been
The stupidest morning
Of my life.
67
00:03:38,085 --> 00:03:42,022
Sam, don't forget.
Tomorrow we register
For flatware.
68
00:03:42,022 --> 00:03:44,224
The second stupidest.
69
00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:46,026
Did you
Select something nice?
70
00:03:46,026 --> 00:03:50,197
We've committed to
Royal dalton's carlisle
For the fine china,
71
00:03:50,197 --> 00:03:54,702
But sam still hasn't
Made up his mind
About everyday ware.
72
00:03:54,702 --> 00:03:56,003
Yes, I have.
73
00:03:56,003 --> 00:03:59,707
I liked the dishes
With the different
Colored flowers.
74
00:03:59,707 --> 00:04:01,174
Oh, ish.
75
00:04:01,174 --> 00:04:04,878
I love those. They're
Just like I had
When I was a kid.
76
00:04:04,878 --> 00:04:06,179
They're real pretty.
77
00:04:06,179 --> 00:04:08,349
And if you don't
Like the food
On your plate,
78
00:04:08,349 --> 00:04:11,919
You can hide it
In the pattern.
79
00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:13,654
Ok. Fine.
80
00:04:13,654 --> 00:04:16,657
Well, why don't you
Think about it?
81
00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:19,192
And if you still insist
They're not the most garish,
82
00:04:19,192 --> 00:04:22,730
Bourgeois, stomach-turningly
Ugly pattern in the book,
83
00:04:22,730 --> 00:04:24,865
Then that's
What we'll get.
84
00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:30,003
She's making me nuts
With this wedding stuff.
85
00:04:30,003 --> 00:04:31,372
So ditch her.
86
00:04:31,372 --> 00:04:34,107
You know,
If I had my way,
87
00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:36,910
I'd find the nearest
Justice of the peace
And tie the knot.
88
00:04:36,910 --> 00:04:39,380
You know, that's not
Such a bad idea.
89
00:04:39,380 --> 00:04:42,550
Right. Or you
Could ditch her.
90
00:04:42,550 --> 00:04:44,485
Don't you have
Traffic school
Or something?
91
00:04:44,485 --> 00:04:46,854
Nuts. Now I'm
Going to be late.
92
00:04:46,854 --> 00:04:50,558
I guess I could make it
If I run all the yellows.
93
00:04:52,192 --> 00:04:56,930
Sam, I've got penelope
From the bridal registry
On the line.
94
00:04:56,930 --> 00:04:59,833
We're going back over
The linen choices.
95
00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:03,337
Now, for
The fingertip towels
In the guest bath,
96
00:05:03,337 --> 00:05:06,306
Do we want monogrammed,
Or is that too ootsy?
97
00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:08,909
The second thing
You said.
98
00:05:10,711 --> 00:05:12,980
I agree.
99
00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:15,983
Of course,
A simple initial
Can be elegant.
100
00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:19,186
I think you'd better
Look at the picture.
101
00:05:19,186 --> 00:05:20,621
I need
A man's opinion.
102
00:05:20,621 --> 00:05:23,591
Frasier, help diane,
Will you please?
103
00:05:24,858 --> 00:05:26,159
Sam.
104
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:28,529
These will be
Our fingertip towels
105
00:05:28,529 --> 00:05:30,964
For the rest
Of our lives.
106
00:05:37,638 --> 00:05:41,675
We'd better
Get married quick,
Or I'll kill her.
107
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:44,678
All right, all right,
That's it.
108
00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:47,147
Bachelor party
Here tonight.
109
00:05:47,147 --> 00:05:48,549
What are you
Talking about?
110
00:05:48,549 --> 00:05:50,851
Didn't you hear the man?
He might be eloping.
111
00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:52,886
I'm not gonna be done out
Of my right as best man
112
00:05:52,886 --> 00:05:57,491
To throw him
The best wingding
Of the century.
113
00:05:57,491 --> 00:05:58,659
All right. Now,
So what--
114
00:05:58,659 --> 00:06:00,494
Wait a minute here,
Cliff.
115
00:06:00,494 --> 00:06:02,930
Sam asked you
To be his best man?
116
00:06:02,930 --> 00:06:06,567
Well, not in so many words,
But who's closest?
117
00:06:06,567 --> 00:06:09,837
Well, now, I don't know,
I may not have known sam
As long as some of you guys,
118
00:06:09,837 --> 00:06:11,271
But we're pretty darn close.
119
00:06:11,271 --> 00:06:15,709
I think I'm kind of like
The brother he never had.
120
00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:17,578
Woody, sammy
Has a brother.
121
00:06:17,578 --> 00:06:21,248
Guess we're not
As close as I thought.
122
00:06:21,248 --> 00:06:24,818
Look, I think we better
Throw the greatest
Bachelor party
123
00:06:24,818 --> 00:06:27,054
For the greatest
Bachelor who ever lived.
124
00:06:27,054 --> 00:06:30,524
Tell you what, I'll pick up
Some deli platters
And champagne.
125
00:06:30,524 --> 00:06:32,493
You guys can
Just reimburse me
At your leisure.
126
00:06:32,493 --> 00:06:34,528
Why didn't you
Say so in the
First place?
127
00:06:34,528 --> 00:06:38,532
Ok. We got the food and
The drink taken care of.
128
00:06:38,532 --> 00:06:39,833
Now all we need
Is a little bit of
Entertainment.
129
00:06:39,833 --> 00:06:44,838
I think the tradition
Calls for a stag film.
130
00:06:44,838 --> 00:06:47,841
I think there's
A place on my route
That might sell them.
131
00:06:47,841 --> 00:06:51,011
The hot and nasty
Video boutique.
132
00:06:51,011 --> 00:06:55,015
I think there might be
One or two laying around.
133
00:06:55,015 --> 00:06:57,184
Ok, we got food, drink,
And entertainment.
134
00:06:57,184 --> 00:07:00,187
Now, all we need is a girl
Jumping out of the cake.
135
00:07:00,187 --> 00:07:03,190
I've seen them do that
In the movies
All the time.
136
00:07:03,190 --> 00:07:05,926
That seems like a waste
Of good cake to me.
137
00:07:08,395 --> 00:07:10,197
Woody, the cake is
Really immaterial.
138
00:07:10,197 --> 00:07:13,066
It's the girl
Who's the actual dessert.
139
00:07:13,066 --> 00:07:16,570
Well, then I think it
Should be miss chambers.
140
00:07:16,570 --> 00:07:19,406
Ee-yi ee-yi-oh.
141
00:07:19,406 --> 00:07:21,842
Listen, tractor boy.
142
00:07:23,711 --> 00:07:25,713
No guy
Wants his fiancee
143
00:07:25,713 --> 00:07:27,715
Jumping out of a cake.
144
00:07:27,715 --> 00:07:30,851
It's like taking
Your mother to the prom.
145
00:07:32,252 --> 00:07:34,021
So I'm told.
146
00:07:39,593 --> 00:07:43,263
Ok. So where can we
Get sammy someone hot?
147
00:07:43,263 --> 00:07:45,599
Dare we look
In his book?
148
00:07:45,599 --> 00:07:47,635
Nah. Sammy's had
All those girls.
149
00:07:47,635 --> 00:07:50,738
Sam, stop being
Such a grumble bunny.
150
00:07:50,738 --> 00:07:53,874
Just grit your teeth
And pick out a
Dust ruffle.
151
00:07:55,442 --> 00:07:58,478
Guys, I still say we're missing
What's right under our noses.
152
00:07:58,478 --> 00:07:59,947
Trust me.
153
00:07:59,947 --> 00:08:03,483
That's ok. Listen,
It wouldn't hurt to ask.
154
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:05,452
No, no, no.
Don't.
155
00:08:05,452 --> 00:08:06,954
Excuse me,
Miss chambers?
156
00:08:06,954 --> 00:08:08,421
Yes, woody.
157
00:08:08,421 --> 00:08:11,058
Would you like to
Jump out of sam's
Bachelor party cake?
158
00:08:11,058 --> 00:08:18,498
Woody,
I abhor such juvenile,
Sexist male rituals.
159
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:20,768
Yeah,
But would you do it?
160
00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:23,804
Just checking.
All right, guys,
You're right.
161
00:08:23,804 --> 00:08:26,640
We're gonna have
To find some other
Beautiful girl
162
00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:28,175
To be sam's dessert.
163
00:08:29,476 --> 00:08:30,911
Wait a minute.
164
00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:40,654
I just realized why you
Want me, the bride-to-be,
165
00:08:40,654 --> 00:08:44,257
To jump from the cake.
It's a wonderful irony.
166
00:08:46,393 --> 00:08:48,495
Of course.
I'll do it.
167
00:08:48,495 --> 00:08:49,830
Of course.
Oh, great.
168
00:08:49,830 --> 00:08:51,799
Imagine me
Of all people
169
00:08:51,799 --> 00:08:55,268
Missing the point
Of a joke.
170
00:08:55,268 --> 00:08:58,972
Don't worry about it,
Miss chamber.
It even happens to me.
171
00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:06,213
Sammy, what time
You got there?
172
00:09:06,213 --> 00:09:07,948
11:15.
173
00:09:07,948 --> 00:09:11,819
11:15? How did
It get so late
So early?
174
00:09:11,819 --> 00:09:15,022
I'd better
Be getting
Home to vera.
175
00:09:15,022 --> 00:09:17,557
Oh, yeah. I'm
Pretty beat myself.
176
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,559
I'm going to bed
Early tonight.
177
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:21,561
It's been
A rough week.
178
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:23,363
Yeah,
You know what they say--
179
00:09:23,363 --> 00:09:26,099
"Early bird catches
The obsessive-compulsive."
180
00:09:27,635 --> 00:09:29,603
Good night, sam.
181
00:09:29,603 --> 00:09:32,172
Ohh! Boy,
Look at all that...
182
00:09:32,172 --> 00:09:35,475
They sure took off
In a hurry, didn't they?
183
00:09:35,475 --> 00:09:39,713
Yeah, but that doesn't
Seem suspicious
To you, does it?
184
00:09:42,716 --> 00:09:45,318
No. I guess not.
185
00:09:45,318 --> 00:09:46,687
Hey,
I have an idea.
186
00:09:46,687 --> 00:09:49,757
You go in the
Back and total
These receipts,
187
00:09:49,757 --> 00:09:52,325
And we'll get
Out of here.
188
00:09:52,325 --> 00:09:55,328
Ok. All right.
Say, woody, when I
Come back out here,
189
00:09:55,328 --> 00:09:58,531
There's not gonna be
A surprise for me,
Is there?
190
00:09:58,531 --> 00:10:00,600
A surprise party,
Maybe?
191
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:01,735
No.
192
00:10:01,735 --> 00:10:03,904
You're not lying,
Are you?
193
00:10:03,904 --> 00:10:06,907
Sam, you'd know
If I was lying.
194
00:10:06,907 --> 00:10:08,742
I'd...I'd tell you.
195
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:14,181
Right. I'll be
In my office.
196
00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:20,087
Come on in, guys.
197
00:10:20,087 --> 00:10:22,222
He didn't suspect
A thing.
198
00:10:23,556 --> 00:10:25,058
Come on down, fellas.
199
00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:28,962
Put that banner
Up there.
200
00:10:30,764 --> 00:10:32,065
Shh! Shh!
201
00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:36,236
Be calm.
202
00:10:37,570 --> 00:10:40,573
In the words
Of the immortal bard--
203
00:10:40,573 --> 00:10:42,009
Party!
204
00:10:44,778 --> 00:10:47,915
Uh, sam,
You can go home now.
205
00:10:49,049 --> 00:10:50,784
Surprise!
Surprise!
Surprise!
206
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:56,924
Wow.
207
00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:02,129
Sam, you should see
The look on your face.
208
00:11:10,303 --> 00:11:12,239
[videotape plays]
209
00:11:14,374 --> 00:11:15,542
Ooh.
210
00:11:15,542 --> 00:11:16,676
Hey, hey!
211
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:18,178
Hey, great stuff!
212
00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:19,346
Boy.
213
00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:21,281
Great stuff!
214
00:11:21,281 --> 00:11:25,753
That last scene
Gave me a new respect
For rowing machines.
215
00:11:25,753 --> 00:11:27,454
Hey, you guys!
216
00:11:27,454 --> 00:11:28,756
Oh! Thank you.
217
00:11:28,756 --> 00:11:30,557
This has been fantastic!
218
00:11:30,557 --> 00:11:33,460
I have to admit that
I used to think
Bachelor parties
219
00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:34,627
Were kind
Of embarrassing.
220
00:11:34,627 --> 00:11:36,263
Hit the lights!
221
00:11:36,263 --> 00:11:37,630
Oh, god. Not again.
222
00:11:37,630 --> 00:11:39,767
Yay!
Yay!
Yay!
223
00:11:46,639 --> 00:11:49,409
There's a girl
In there, right?
224
00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:51,011
Just your type.
225
00:11:53,513 --> 00:11:56,716
So make the obligatory speech
And have at her!
226
00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,418
Get in there!
227
00:11:58,418 --> 00:12:00,120
Oh, no,
I can't do it.
228
00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:03,456
No, I know you went
To a lot of trouble.
229
00:12:03,456 --> 00:12:06,894
I'm sorry, but it
Just wouldn't be right.
230
00:12:06,894 --> 00:12:08,328
Sammy, come on.
231
00:12:08,328 --> 00:12:10,831
King of the road!
232
00:12:14,634 --> 00:12:16,003
Better make hay,
Buddy.
233
00:12:16,003 --> 00:12:17,905
After this,
It's one woman
234
00:12:17,905 --> 00:12:20,373
For the rest
Of your life.
235
00:12:22,542 --> 00:12:26,246
I never really
Thought about it
In those terms before.
236
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:30,083
One woman for the rest
Of my life.
237
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:32,685
I mean,
Don't get me wrong.
238
00:12:32,685 --> 00:12:34,287
I mean,
She's a great woman,
239
00:12:34,287 --> 00:12:36,824
But there's
Only one of her.
240
00:12:38,491 --> 00:12:40,727
For the rest
Of my life.
241
00:12:40,727 --> 00:12:42,429
It'll go quickly.
242
00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:43,997
Just go ahead.
243
00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:47,267
Boy, it really
Makes you think.
244
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:50,470
I've been a bachelor
A good long time.
245
00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:51,738
A good lot of women.
246
00:12:51,738 --> 00:12:54,808
Now there won't be
Any more women.
247
00:12:54,808 --> 00:12:56,576
But just woman.
248
00:12:56,576 --> 00:12:58,145
One woman.
249
00:12:58,145 --> 00:13:00,147
Yeah, but
What a woman!
250
00:13:00,147 --> 00:13:01,714
I mean,
You know what?
I've got an idea.
251
00:13:01,714 --> 00:13:04,117
Why don't we
Have some cake?
252
00:13:05,752 --> 00:13:08,721
One perfume,
One set of ear lobes...
253
00:13:08,721 --> 00:13:12,125
Not even sensitive
Ear lobes.
254
00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:16,930
One pair of lips
Flapping in my ear.
255
00:13:18,731 --> 00:13:21,334
Day after day
Until I die.
256
00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:22,735
Oh, my god.
257
00:13:22,735 --> 00:13:24,004
Sammy, sammy,
That's great.
258
00:13:24,004 --> 00:13:26,974
We got a big,
Wonderful cake here, you know,
259
00:13:26,974 --> 00:13:29,076
With a very special
Surprise inside
260
00:13:29,076 --> 00:13:32,880
Which just might spoil
If you don't shut up!
261
00:13:34,114 --> 00:13:35,748
All right. I'm sorry.
What am I doing here?
262
00:13:35,748 --> 00:13:37,750
I mean, if I'm going
To tie myself
263
00:13:37,750 --> 00:13:39,552
To the old
Ball and chain,
264
00:13:39,552 --> 00:13:43,756
I might as well
Get one last night
Of freedom in.
265
00:13:43,756 --> 00:13:46,994
Ok. Bring her out here.
Strap her on.
266
00:13:52,765 --> 00:13:54,467
Strap this on!
267
00:14:05,378 --> 00:14:09,917
Sam, you should see
The look on your face.
268
00:14:20,894 --> 00:14:22,029
Hi, guys.
269
00:14:22,029 --> 00:14:23,796
Hey, carla,
How was traffic school?
270
00:14:23,796 --> 00:14:25,165
It was all right.
271
00:14:25,165 --> 00:14:28,135
Yeah? Didn't all those
Gory movies they show
272
00:14:28,135 --> 00:14:29,802
Kind of turn
Your stomach a bit?
273
00:14:29,802 --> 00:14:31,138
Norm,
You're forgetting--
274
00:14:31,138 --> 00:14:33,173
I've seen diane
Without make-up.
275
00:14:35,642 --> 00:14:36,944
Hello, everyone.
276
00:14:38,311 --> 00:14:39,279
Hello, you...
277
00:14:39,279 --> 00:14:41,814
Let me help you
With that.
278
00:14:41,814 --> 00:14:43,283
Boy, you look
Fantastic!
279
00:14:43,283 --> 00:14:45,285
That is
A great outfit!
280
00:14:45,285 --> 00:14:47,820
Sam, you make
A lousy sycophant.
281
00:14:47,820 --> 00:14:50,823
Yes, but I make
A great margarita.
282
00:14:50,823 --> 00:14:53,460
May I speak to you
In your office?
283
00:14:53,460 --> 00:14:54,962
Sure. Anything you want.
You betcha.
284
00:14:54,962 --> 00:14:56,964
Come on, smile.
285
00:14:56,964 --> 00:14:58,298
For some reason,
286
00:14:58,298 --> 00:15:00,300
I don't feel
Like smiling.
287
00:15:00,300 --> 00:15:02,502
I ever tell you
How cute you are
When you're mad?
288
00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:03,836
Oh, come on.
289
00:15:03,836 --> 00:15:05,372
Snap out of this,
Will you?
290
00:15:05,372 --> 00:15:07,975
I mean, I didn't say all
That stuff last night
291
00:15:07,975 --> 00:15:10,110
To hurt your feelings.
292
00:15:11,979 --> 00:15:14,281
My feelings aren't hurt.
293
00:15:14,281 --> 00:15:17,550
I just feel bad
For you.
294
00:15:18,851 --> 00:15:21,989
Sentenced to a life
With one perfume...
295
00:15:23,556 --> 00:15:27,227
One set of
Insensitive ear lobes.
296
00:15:27,227 --> 00:15:31,164
One set of lips
Flapping in your ear...
297
00:15:33,666 --> 00:15:35,068
Till you die.
298
00:15:37,004 --> 00:15:39,406
Come on, I was with
A bunch of guys.
299
00:15:39,406 --> 00:15:42,342
I mean, they forced me
To make a speech.
300
00:15:42,342 --> 00:15:44,344
How the hell
Did I know
301
00:15:44,344 --> 00:15:47,547
My fiancee was
Hiding in the cake
Taking dictation?
302
00:15:47,547 --> 00:15:49,382
Did you mean it,
Sam?
303
00:15:49,382 --> 00:15:50,483
No.
304
00:15:51,884 --> 00:15:53,253
It's just this--
305
00:15:53,253 --> 00:15:54,887
This whole
Marriage thing
306
00:15:54,887 --> 00:15:57,690
Kind of snuck up
On me, that's all.
307
00:15:57,690 --> 00:16:00,260
I mean, I'm
Happy that you're
The only woman
308
00:16:00,260 --> 00:16:02,895
I'll ever make love
To again...
309
00:16:02,895 --> 00:16:04,064
Ever.
310
00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:09,902
Yeah. Yeah.
311
00:16:09,902 --> 00:16:12,972
See, if I had known
That the last one
312
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:15,475
Was going
To be the last one,
313
00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:18,411
I would've prepared
Myself for it.
314
00:16:19,712 --> 00:16:21,348
Sweetheart,
It's kind of
Like popcorn.
315
00:16:21,348 --> 00:16:22,715
Now, you can munch away
316
00:16:22,715 --> 00:16:26,553
As long as you know
There's a bowlful,
317
00:16:26,553 --> 00:16:28,521
But if all of a sudden
It's all gone,
318
00:16:28,521 --> 00:16:31,558
There's nothing's left
But the salt and the duds,
You feel bad
319
00:16:31,558 --> 00:16:34,761
Because if you'd known
The last kernel
Was the last one,
320
00:16:34,761 --> 00:16:36,996
You would
Have savored it.
321
00:16:38,898 --> 00:16:40,767
Am I making myself
Clear?
322
00:16:41,868 --> 00:16:43,170
Oh, yes. Yes.
323
00:16:43,170 --> 00:16:45,338
I'm salt and duds.
324
00:16:48,941 --> 00:16:50,577
I--I--I don't know.
325
00:16:50,577 --> 00:16:54,947
I don't know
What to say to make
This right, except...
326
00:16:54,947 --> 00:16:57,084
I'm sorry.
327
00:16:59,552 --> 00:17:03,756
Would 24 hours
Of wild, uninhibited,
328
00:17:03,756 --> 00:17:05,492
Hedonistic,
Sexual carousing
329
00:17:05,492 --> 00:17:09,096
With anything
In a tube top suffice?
330
00:17:13,100 --> 00:17:16,236
In addition
To saying I'm sorry?
331
00:17:19,772 --> 00:17:23,443
Sam, you can apologize
Till the cows come home,
332
00:17:23,443 --> 00:17:26,113
But it won't
Alleviate the problem.
333
00:17:26,113 --> 00:17:27,414
After much
Consideration,
334
00:17:27,414 --> 00:17:30,550
I propose that you go
On a flesh binge.
335
00:17:32,852 --> 00:17:34,354
Sow your wild oats.
336
00:17:34,354 --> 00:17:36,656
Get it out
Of your system.
337
00:17:36,656 --> 00:17:41,060
Savor your last
Kernel of popcorn.
338
00:17:42,829 --> 00:17:44,331
Are you serious?
339
00:17:44,331 --> 00:17:46,333
Absolutely.
It's the only way
340
00:17:46,333 --> 00:17:48,635
We can establish
A clean slate.
341
00:17:48,635 --> 00:17:51,338
No guilt,
No remorse,
No regrets.
342
00:17:52,839 --> 00:17:57,344
So, dive into that
Little black book
Of yours and enjoy.
343
00:17:57,344 --> 00:17:59,879
You know I threw
That dumb thing away
344
00:17:59,879 --> 00:18:01,514
When we got engaged.
345
00:18:01,514 --> 00:18:04,050
I'm sure you have
One or two numbers
346
00:18:04,050 --> 00:18:06,219
Etched
In your memory.
347
00:18:06,219 --> 00:18:07,354
You listen to me.
348
00:18:07,354 --> 00:18:09,189
I'm only agree
To do this
349
00:18:09,189 --> 00:18:11,658
Because I love you,
Diane.
350
00:18:14,661 --> 00:18:17,597
Well, don't do it
For me, sam.
351
00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:21,368
Do it for the health
Of our future marriage.
352
00:18:22,369 --> 00:18:23,870
Uh, excuse me, uh...
353
00:18:23,870 --> 00:18:26,506
When do
My 24 hours begin?
354
00:18:27,574 --> 00:18:28,741
Right now.
355
00:18:28,741 --> 00:18:29,742
All right.
356
00:18:29,742 --> 00:18:31,211
The same as mine.
357
00:18:31,211 --> 00:18:32,679
Wait. Wait. Whoa.
358
00:18:35,415 --> 00:18:36,583
Yours?
359
00:18:36,583 --> 00:18:38,117
Of course, sam.
360
00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:41,554
This is the only way
We can be sure
361
00:18:41,554 --> 00:18:45,225
That I have all other men
Out of my system.
362
00:18:52,899 --> 00:18:54,367
No. No.
363
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:10,217
Sammy back yet?
364
00:19:10,217 --> 00:19:13,119
Well,
"T" minus 30 minutes
And counting.
365
00:19:13,119 --> 00:19:15,555
I figure
Right about now
366
00:19:15,555 --> 00:19:18,925
Sammy's probably leaning
Back in bed and smoking.
367
00:19:18,925 --> 00:19:23,129
I don't remember
Ever seeing sammy
Smoke a cigarette.
368
00:19:23,129 --> 00:19:25,632
Who said anything
About cigarettes?
369
00:19:29,336 --> 00:19:31,504
Oh, ho! The man!
All right!
370
00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:33,540
What's the score,
Sammy?
371
00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:36,509
Oh, norm, you know
He's not the kind
To kiss and tell.
372
00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:39,546
Not that he wastes
Much time kissing anyway,
Eh, sam?
373
00:19:39,546 --> 00:19:42,249
You guys know me,
All right.
374
00:19:42,249 --> 00:19:45,252
So has anyone, uh...
Anyone heard from diane?
375
00:19:45,252 --> 00:19:46,753
Nope. Not a word.
376
00:19:46,753 --> 00:19:48,087
It's been heaven.
377
00:19:48,087 --> 00:19:49,789
Why, you worried
About her?
378
00:19:49,789 --> 00:19:52,158
No. I'm not worried.
What makes you think
I'm worried?
379
00:19:52,158 --> 00:19:53,526
What time is it anyway?
380
00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:56,162
Time for you
To stop worrying.
381
00:19:56,162 --> 00:19:57,530
I mean,
For god's sake,
Sammy,
382
00:19:57,530 --> 00:20:00,733
Who'd be stupid enough
To touch diane?
383
00:20:00,733 --> 00:20:01,834
Besides you.
384
00:20:01,834 --> 00:20:02,969
Good point.
385
00:20:02,969 --> 00:20:05,572
Yeah. What am I
Worried about?
386
00:20:05,572 --> 00:20:08,441
Oh, rick, you really
Came through.
387
00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:11,378
Sam! Sam! Sam!
388
00:20:11,378 --> 00:20:14,547
Rick was kind enough
To drive me to work
389
00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:16,683
When my car broke down.
390
00:20:17,750 --> 00:20:19,018
I knew that.
391
00:20:19,018 --> 00:20:20,019
I, uh...
392
00:20:20,019 --> 00:20:22,555
I just wanted
To give him
393
00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:24,090
A thank you
Shake.
394
00:20:24,090 --> 00:20:25,692
Thank you.
Thank you.
395
00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:32,699
Uh...Maybe I'll take
A raincheck on that drink.
396
00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:35,935
Good luck
With your marriage.
397
00:20:35,935 --> 00:20:37,103
Thank you.
398
00:20:37,103 --> 00:20:38,771
Yes. Thank you.
Thank you very much.
399
00:20:38,771 --> 00:20:40,239
Thank you, rick.
400
00:20:41,107 --> 00:20:42,275
Well...
401
00:20:42,275 --> 00:20:45,278
I guess
I'll just, uh...
402
00:20:45,278 --> 00:20:46,779
Begin my shift.
403
00:20:46,779 --> 00:20:48,281
Like hell, you will.
404
00:20:48,281 --> 00:20:50,550
Sam. Now, sam. Sam!
405
00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:54,387
All right.
406
00:20:54,387 --> 00:20:57,390
Where were you
Last night, hmm?
407
00:20:59,726 --> 00:21:03,996
I was taking
Full advantage
Of my 24 hours.
408
00:21:03,996 --> 00:21:07,266
I looked into
The recesses
Of my heart,
409
00:21:07,266 --> 00:21:10,269
And I realized that
I still had one oat
410
00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:12,739
That needed
To be sown.
411
00:21:14,807 --> 00:21:17,243
One fantastic oat.
412
00:21:17,243 --> 00:21:19,612
Is that all
You think about--
413
00:21:19,612 --> 00:21:20,613
Sex?
414
00:21:22,449 --> 00:21:24,150
You know,
It's disgusting!
415
00:21:24,150 --> 00:21:25,452
Whatever happened
To romance,
416
00:21:25,452 --> 00:21:26,619
To commitment?
417
00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:28,655
I mean, look at you!
Look at you!
418
00:21:28,655 --> 00:21:31,491
You haven't even
Changed your dress!
419
00:21:31,491 --> 00:21:34,427
I'm wearing
This dress again
420
00:21:34,427 --> 00:21:36,329
Because I like it.
421
00:21:36,329 --> 00:21:38,331
It sets off my eyes.
422
00:21:38,331 --> 00:21:40,567
I'll set off your eyes!
423
00:21:42,168 --> 00:21:43,536
You want to know something?
424
00:21:43,536 --> 00:21:45,672
I had the exact same
24 hours you did,
425
00:21:45,672 --> 00:21:46,873
And I didn't do
Anything.
426
00:21:46,873 --> 00:21:47,940
You know why?
427
00:21:47,940 --> 00:21:50,543
Because I happen to be
A one-woman guy.
428
00:21:52,011 --> 00:21:54,246
I mean, I think we got
Something special going here,
429
00:21:54,246 --> 00:21:57,083
And I didn't want
To cheapen it like somebody
Else I could mention.
430
00:21:57,083 --> 00:22:01,354
You know...
People could refer
To you as a tart.
431
00:22:04,223 --> 00:22:06,292
How can you say that?
432
00:22:06,292 --> 00:22:07,460
Easy--tart.
433
00:22:07,460 --> 00:22:09,261
Tart, tart, tart, tart!
434
00:22:09,261 --> 00:22:12,432
I mean, what else
Do you call somebody
Who didn't go home?
435
00:22:12,432 --> 00:22:14,166
How do you know that?
436
00:22:14,166 --> 00:22:17,370
Because I was idiot enough
To spend the entire night
437
00:22:17,370 --> 00:22:19,672
Watching your apartment
From my car,
438
00:22:19,672 --> 00:22:22,642
And you did not
Go home.
439
00:22:23,976 --> 00:22:25,478
You must be exhausted.
440
00:22:25,478 --> 00:22:27,480
Yeah. That's right.
I'm exhausted.
441
00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:29,482
You're damn right
I'm exhausted.
442
00:22:29,482 --> 00:22:30,783
Oh, come on, sam.
443
00:22:30,783 --> 00:22:34,053
Now, you had a little
Catnap around 6 a.M.
444
00:22:34,053 --> 00:22:35,021
Did not.
445
00:22:36,222 --> 00:22:37,690
How'd you know that?
446
00:22:37,690 --> 00:22:40,627
Because I was
Down the street
In my car
447
00:22:40,627 --> 00:22:42,762
Watching you watch me.
448
00:22:45,832 --> 00:22:47,333
Oh, my god.
449
00:22:47,333 --> 00:22:48,501
You spied on me.
450
00:22:48,501 --> 00:22:50,503
That stinks!
451
00:22:50,503 --> 00:22:51,504
What--what...
452
00:22:51,504 --> 00:22:53,172
What happened to faith?
453
00:22:53,172 --> 00:22:54,507
Wh-what happened...
454
00:22:54,507 --> 00:22:57,710
What happened to trust?
455
00:22:57,710 --> 00:22:59,412
God!
456
00:22:59,412 --> 00:23:00,813
Sam!
457
00:23:01,881 --> 00:23:04,884
I took a lover's
Leap of faith
458
00:23:04,884 --> 00:23:07,520
In granting you
Sexual carte blanche
459
00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:09,889
For the past
24 hours.
460
00:23:12,525 --> 00:23:15,528
And just as my heart
Suspected,
461
00:23:15,528 --> 00:23:16,829
Instead of
Gallivanting about,
462
00:23:16,829 --> 00:23:20,433
You spent the whole
Time spying on me.
463
00:23:21,801 --> 00:23:23,536
Hmm.
464
00:23:23,536 --> 00:23:25,538
I had one last night
465
00:23:25,538 --> 00:23:28,040
To go out and have
A great time,
466
00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:29,542
And I blow it.
467
00:23:29,542 --> 00:23:32,679
God, I'm a poor excuse
For a stud.
468
00:23:35,181 --> 00:23:36,549
I don't know
About that.
469
00:23:36,549 --> 00:23:39,486
We still have
Five minutes left
470
00:23:39,486 --> 00:23:41,921
In our...Deal.
471
00:23:43,556 --> 00:23:44,824
Five minutes?
472
00:23:44,824 --> 00:23:46,025
Mm-hmm.
473
00:23:46,025 --> 00:23:48,461
Well, hell, somebody
Should've told me that.
474
00:23:51,831 --> 00:23:53,132
Damn it!
475
00:23:57,136 --> 00:23:59,639
Ha ha! How long
Did you say we have here?
476
00:23:59,639 --> 00:24:01,007
Five minutes.
477
00:24:01,007 --> 00:24:02,509
Not enough time.
478
00:24:02,509 --> 00:24:03,810
Now, come on, sam.
479
00:24:03,810 --> 00:24:05,578
We'd better skip
To the good parts.
480
00:24:05,578 --> 00:24:07,113
I have to go to work!
481
00:24:07,113 --> 00:24:08,681
Ha!
Woo!
34171
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