Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,604 --> 00:00:06,074
Sam: "Cheers" is filmed
Before a live studio audience.
2
00:00:06,074 --> 00:00:07,808
Ok, mr. Peterson,
It's your turn
3
00:00:07,808 --> 00:00:12,313
To send a tape recorded hello
To my folks back home.
4
00:00:12,313 --> 00:00:14,148
I don't know
What to say
Here, woody.
5
00:00:14,148 --> 00:00:16,117
Just hurry it up,
Will ya, normie?
6
00:00:16,117 --> 00:00:17,818
I got some audio gems
That'll have them howling
In the old hoosier state.
7
00:00:17,818 --> 00:00:19,553
In the old hoosier state.
8
00:00:19,553 --> 00:00:22,656
Ok, just let me find the end
Of miss chambers' message.
9
00:00:22,656 --> 00:00:24,325
All right.
10
00:00:24,325 --> 00:00:26,794
Your son is
A hard-working young man.
11
00:00:26,794 --> 00:00:28,296
You should be proud!
12
00:00:28,296 --> 00:00:30,298
We at cheers
Certainly are.
13
00:00:30,298 --> 00:00:31,732
[tape fast forwards]
14
00:00:31,732 --> 00:00:34,502
I think it's a little
Further along here.
15
00:00:34,502 --> 00:00:37,738
I believe it was
Elizabeth barrett browning
Who said...
16
00:00:37,738 --> 00:00:41,575
[tape fast forwards]
17
00:00:41,575 --> 00:00:44,712
Now let me tell you
A little bit about myself...
18
00:00:44,712 --> 00:00:45,979
[tape fast forwards]
19
00:00:45,979 --> 00:00:48,249
Fill me up. I think
We're in here
For a while.
20
00:00:54,722 --> 00:00:57,125
* making your way
In the world today *
21
00:00:57,125 --> 00:00:59,760
* takes everything
You've got *
22
00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:02,930
* taking a break
From all your worries *
23
00:01:02,930 --> 00:01:05,566
* sure would help a lot *
24
00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:09,703
* wouldn't you
Like to get away? *
25
00:01:12,273 --> 00:01:14,275
* sometimes
You wanna go *
26
00:01:14,275 --> 00:01:19,580
* where everybody
Knows your name *
27
00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:24,585
* and they're always
Glad you came *
28
00:01:24,585 --> 00:01:26,587
* you wanna be
Where you can see *
29
00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:29,457
* our troubles
Are all the same *
30
00:01:29,457 --> 00:01:34,595
* you wanna be where
Everybody knows your name *
31
00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:36,930
* you wanna go
Where people know *
32
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:39,700
* people are all the same *
33
00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:44,372
* you wanna go where
Everybody knows your name *
34
00:02:02,356 --> 00:02:03,724
Okey-dokey. Mr. Peterson,
35
00:02:03,724 --> 00:02:05,893
Found the end of
Miss chambers' message.
36
00:02:05,893 --> 00:02:07,628
It's ready to go.
37
00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:08,929
Um...Hi, folks.
38
00:02:08,929 --> 00:02:10,631
This is norm.
39
00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:11,565
[tape stops]
40
00:02:15,569 --> 00:02:18,071
Oh, no, that's the end
Of the tape.
41
00:02:18,071 --> 00:02:21,442
I'm sorry you didn't get to
Leave your whole message.
42
00:02:21,442 --> 00:02:23,844
That was
The whole message.
43
00:02:23,844 --> 00:02:25,746
Oh, thanks.
44
00:02:25,746 --> 00:02:28,549
Sam, two beefeater
Martinis, please.
45
00:02:28,549 --> 00:02:30,418
[hums]
46
00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:34,588
Well, you're
Just bubbling
With energy.
47
00:02:34,588 --> 00:02:37,591
Oh, you must
Have mastered
The childproof cap
48
00:02:37,591 --> 00:02:40,461
On your flintstones
Vitamins.
49
00:02:40,461 --> 00:02:43,431
Yeah. That's
Pretty cute, diane.
50
00:02:44,798 --> 00:02:48,469
Hmm. Scored again.
51
00:02:48,469 --> 00:02:50,404
I guess I'll be saying
That a lot tonight.
52
00:02:52,573 --> 00:02:55,676
You got an evening
Of romance planned,
Sam?
53
00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:56,810
Yeah. I sure do.
54
00:02:56,810 --> 00:02:59,613
Who's the bimbo
Du jour?
55
00:03:04,485 --> 00:03:06,454
That's the girl,
All right.
56
00:03:06,454 --> 00:03:09,457
Claudia's been
A tough nut to crack,
57
00:03:09,457 --> 00:03:11,292
But tonight's the night
58
00:03:11,292 --> 00:03:17,097
She's gonna be enjoying
All the rides in
Sammy's magic kingdom.
59
00:03:17,097 --> 00:03:18,532
She's in for
A mickey mouse evening
60
00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:22,836
With goofy as her guide.
61
00:03:22,836 --> 00:03:25,506
Boy, sam, I wish
I could read women like you.
62
00:03:25,506 --> 00:03:28,309
I mean,
I can never really tell
When a woman likes me.
63
00:03:28,309 --> 00:03:32,846
Hey, woody, women give off
Different subtle signs
Of interest.
64
00:03:32,846 --> 00:03:37,585
Me, I stand there naked
With a rose in my teeth.
65
00:03:37,585 --> 00:03:39,787
I'll watch for that one.
66
00:03:39,787 --> 00:03:42,523
Sam, what signal
Is your date giving you?
67
00:03:42,523 --> 00:03:46,193
Not only is claudia
Mentally undressing me,
68
00:03:46,193 --> 00:03:49,430
She's mentally
Fixing me breakfast
The next morning.
69
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:56,203
I'm sorry this is
Taking so long here.
70
00:03:56,203 --> 00:03:58,205
I hope
You're not
Getting bored.
71
00:03:58,205 --> 00:04:00,207
Oh, no. I enjoy
Watching you work.
72
00:04:00,207 --> 00:04:02,343
I'm glad to hear that.
73
00:04:02,343 --> 00:04:04,745
You know, I've got
Some mirrors at home.
We can both watch.
74
00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:05,746
[telephone rings]
75
00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:07,381
[ring]
76
00:04:07,381 --> 00:04:08,782
One second. Yeah?
77
00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:10,284
Yeah, as a matter
Of fact, he is.
78
00:04:10,284 --> 00:04:14,388
Hold on one second.
Cliffie, telephone.
79
00:04:14,388 --> 00:04:16,390
Somebody wants
To talk to cliff?
80
00:04:16,390 --> 00:04:19,226
This is a first, bud.
81
00:04:19,226 --> 00:04:21,028
I don't think
Anyone's ever called
You here before.
82
00:04:21,028 --> 00:04:23,697
I know who this is.
It's a tootsie
On my route
83
00:04:23,697 --> 00:04:25,666
Who's been eyeing
The cut of my jib
84
00:04:25,666 --> 00:04:28,402
Through
Her levelors.
85
00:04:28,402 --> 00:04:31,405
Her old man's probably
Out of town.
86
00:04:31,405 --> 00:04:33,907
She's looking
For a little c.O.D...
87
00:04:33,907 --> 00:04:35,709
Cliffie on demand.
88
00:04:38,412 --> 00:04:40,881
I know how
To handle this babe.
89
00:04:40,881 --> 00:04:42,883
Hello.
90
00:04:42,883 --> 00:04:46,053
Listen, I never want
To speak to you
91
00:04:46,053 --> 00:04:49,357
As long as I live!
Good-bye!
92
00:04:49,357 --> 00:04:50,424
Who's that?
93
00:04:50,424 --> 00:04:51,659
It was a man
Who has the nerve
94
00:04:51,659 --> 00:04:53,894
To call himself my father.
95
00:04:53,894 --> 00:04:57,598
He'd have to have nerve
To admit that.
96
00:04:57,598 --> 00:05:01,835
Are you still
Carrying a grudge?
97
00:05:01,835 --> 00:05:04,071
Damn straight
How would you feel if
Your father deserted you
98
00:05:04,071 --> 00:05:06,273
At the formative age of 9?
99
00:05:06,273 --> 00:05:08,008
Well, cliff, don't you
At least want to hear
What he has to say?
100
00:05:08,008 --> 00:05:11,712
Perhaps he's trying
To make amends.
101
00:05:11,712 --> 00:05:15,015
No way. I don't want to have
Anything to do with that bum.
102
00:05:15,015 --> 00:05:16,984
I know how these
Father/son relationships
Can be.
103
00:05:16,984 --> 00:05:18,686
I remember my dad
Didn't want me
104
00:05:18,686 --> 00:05:20,421
To get serious
With vera.
105
00:05:20,421 --> 00:05:22,690
He'd heard that
She had loose morals.
You're kidding?
106
00:05:22,690 --> 00:05:24,625
Actually he got
The story wrong.
107
00:05:24,625 --> 00:05:26,660
Turns out
She had loose molars.
108
00:05:29,463 --> 00:05:32,866
At least you had
A father figure, norm.
109
00:05:32,866 --> 00:05:34,301
Norm.
110
00:05:34,301 --> 00:05:37,137
Yeah.
111
00:05:37,137 --> 00:05:38,639
Sam.
112
00:05:38,639 --> 00:05:41,842
Hmm? Yes, five minutes,
We'll be out of here.
113
00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:43,444
What's this?
114
00:05:43,444 --> 00:05:47,781
A date of yours
Reading artforum
Magazine?
115
00:05:49,282 --> 00:05:51,752
And it's
Right side up, too.
116
00:05:51,752 --> 00:05:53,721
I hope this doesn't mean
117
00:05:53,721 --> 00:05:57,758
We're going to have
To talk afterwards.
118
00:05:57,758 --> 00:06:00,661
Why do I keep trying
To communicate with you?
119
00:06:00,661 --> 00:06:03,531
It must be
The margaret mead in me.
120
00:06:05,666 --> 00:06:07,535
That's a wonderful issue.
121
00:06:07,535 --> 00:06:09,470
Yes, it is.
122
00:06:10,671 --> 00:06:13,674
Did you happen
To read their article
123
00:06:13,674 --> 00:06:15,375
On chinese tapestries?
124
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:16,877
Yes. It was fascinating.
125
00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:18,045
Wasn't it?
126
00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:19,547
The only problem was
127
00:06:19,547 --> 00:06:22,683
20 minutes later,
I wanted to read it again.
128
00:06:23,851 --> 00:06:28,556
Ha! Reads and has
A sense of humor.
129
00:06:28,556 --> 00:06:30,357
Did you lose a bet?
130
00:06:30,357 --> 00:06:32,159
Excuse me?
131
00:06:32,159 --> 00:06:34,995
I'm diane chambers.
132
00:06:34,995 --> 00:06:36,396
Claudia mitchell.
133
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:40,200
So, you and sam
Are going...Out?
134
00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:41,702
Yes, we're going to try
135
00:06:41,702 --> 00:06:43,804
That new indian restaurant,
Rajah's.
136
00:06:43,804 --> 00:06:47,808
Oh, I understand
Their chef is a master
Of tandoori cooking.
137
00:06:47,808 --> 00:06:50,511
I don't really know that much
About indian food.
138
00:06:50,511 --> 00:06:53,747
It's the one area
Where I'm not really able
To be pretentious.
139
00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:56,717
Well,
I am, so we have
The bases covered.
140
00:06:56,717 --> 00:06:58,919
Mind if I sit down?
141
00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:00,020
Please!
142
00:07:00,020 --> 00:07:03,356
I mean, after all,
The game of billiards
143
00:07:03,356 --> 00:07:05,358
Was invented
By the ancient phoenicians.
144
00:07:05,358 --> 00:07:08,562
It gained
Newfound popularity
145
00:07:08,562 --> 00:07:11,532
After a group
Of benedictine monks
Invented felt.
146
00:07:14,301 --> 00:07:15,869
Thank you, sam.
147
00:07:17,805 --> 00:07:18,739
Good lord.
148
00:07:18,739 --> 00:07:22,409
I think that's my father.
149
00:07:22,409 --> 00:07:25,112
There's still time to
Slip out through the
Window in the bathroom.
150
00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:26,880
No, no. I want to hear
What the rat has to say.
151
00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:29,517
Don't let on who I am, huh?
152
00:07:30,651 --> 00:07:31,952
Can I help you?
153
00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:35,155
Yeah.
Do you happen to know
Cliff clavin?
154
00:07:35,155 --> 00:07:37,457
I, uh...
155
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:39,927
I...
156
00:07:39,927 --> 00:07:42,029
Sam, I'm no good
Under pressure.
157
00:07:44,131 --> 00:07:45,699
Hi. I'm sam malone.
I'm the owner of the place.
158
00:07:45,699 --> 00:07:48,035
Oh, hi. I'm cliff, sr.,
His father.
159
00:07:48,035 --> 00:07:49,670
I called his ma,
And said he hangs out
Here sometimes.
160
00:07:49,670 --> 00:07:51,404
Is he around?
161
00:07:51,404 --> 00:07:55,676
Uh...No, actually,
He's not. I think
He's away on business.
162
00:07:55,676 --> 00:07:57,878
That's too bad.
I wanted to talk
To him.
163
00:07:57,878 --> 00:07:59,780
Gee, it's funny.
My own son,
I don't even know
164
00:07:59,780 --> 00:08:01,081
What he does
For a living,
165
00:08:01,081 --> 00:08:02,950
I don't even know
What he looks like.
166
00:08:02,950 --> 00:08:06,253
Cliff might be away
For a while here.
167
00:08:06,253 --> 00:08:09,089
Is there any message
You'd like me to give to him?
168
00:08:09,089 --> 00:08:11,792
I think I'll
Hang around awhile.
It's kind of personal.
169
00:08:11,792 --> 00:08:13,627
I'd like to deliver
It myself.
170
00:08:13,627 --> 00:08:14,995
Oh. Here.
171
00:08:14,995 --> 00:08:15,929
Oh, thanks.
172
00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:20,934
Excuse me.
173
00:08:23,737 --> 00:08:25,673
I got something
To say.
174
00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:29,509
Can I have
The sports page?
175
00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:31,278
Oh. Yeah, sure.
176
00:08:31,278 --> 00:08:32,713
There you are.
177
00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:39,753
[speaking french]
178
00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:51,264
Well, you two seem
To be getting along.
179
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:54,334
Are you ready?
180
00:08:54,334 --> 00:08:57,037
Not to mention
Willing and able.
181
00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:58,038
A bientôt.
182
00:08:58,038 --> 00:08:58,839
J'espere.
183
00:08:58,839 --> 00:09:02,075
I have this great idea.
184
00:09:02,075 --> 00:09:05,078
Why don't we invite diane
To come with us
For dinner.
185
00:09:05,078 --> 00:09:06,313
What?
186
00:09:06,313 --> 00:09:09,082
Oh, no. I don't think
That would be a good idea.
187
00:09:09,082 --> 00:09:11,819
No, don't be silly.
It would be perfect.
188
00:09:11,819 --> 00:09:13,854
Diane knows
All about indian food.
189
00:09:13,854 --> 00:09:14,855
Well, yeah, so do I.
190
00:09:14,855 --> 00:09:16,023
I'll order buffalo.
191
00:09:16,023 --> 00:09:19,059
You can have
The geronimo burger.
192
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:22,562
Claudia,
I really don't want
193
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:23,864
To be
A third wheel.
194
00:09:23,864 --> 00:09:25,866
Yeah, but I want you
To come, diane.
195
00:09:25,866 --> 00:09:27,334
Yeah, but I want us
To be alone.
196
00:09:27,334 --> 00:09:29,302
Well, there's plenty
Of time for that later.
197
00:09:29,302 --> 00:09:32,539
Besides, what could
You do in a restaurant
Full of people?
198
00:09:32,539 --> 00:09:35,308
You'd be surprised.
199
00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:36,877
Yes, you would.
200
00:09:36,877 --> 00:09:39,446
What? Just butt out
Of this whole thing.
201
00:09:39,446 --> 00:09:43,483
Sam, I think you're
Being kind of a drip
About this.
202
00:09:43,483 --> 00:09:45,886
Quite frankly,
I am surprised at you.
203
00:09:45,886 --> 00:09:48,588
Oh. Well, all right.
204
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:50,590
Diane, if you have
Nothing better to do
205
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:53,460
Than tag along,
Why don't you join us?
206
00:09:53,460 --> 00:09:55,428
I really
Don't think--
207
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:57,164
Oh, please, diane.
I insist.
208
00:09:57,164 --> 00:09:58,331
It'll be fun.
209
00:09:58,331 --> 00:09:59,800
Yeah. Loads.
210
00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:02,903
Great!
Then we're set.
Ok.
211
00:10:02,903 --> 00:10:05,105
I'm gonna go freshen up,
And I'll be back in a minute.
212
00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:06,573
Okey-doke.
213
00:10:06,573 --> 00:10:08,408
Please get me
Out of this.
214
00:10:08,408 --> 00:10:10,110
Uh-uh.
If you don't go,
215
00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:11,912
She's going to think
That I told you not to go,
216
00:10:11,912 --> 00:10:13,580
And then she's gonna think
I'm even a bigger heel.
217
00:10:13,580 --> 00:10:14,815
You're going.
218
00:10:14,815 --> 00:10:18,418
Ok. Fine. Fine.
219
00:10:18,418 --> 00:10:19,552
You bet, "Fine. Fine."
220
00:10:19,552 --> 00:10:22,122
Give me the phone,
Will you?
221
00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:23,891
Sam,
You're out of your mind.
222
00:10:23,891 --> 00:10:25,893
Please,
I may look stupid,
223
00:10:25,893 --> 00:10:28,361
But I'm way
Ahead of her.
224
00:10:28,361 --> 00:10:32,565
Give me some credit
For having brains,
Will ya? Hello.
225
00:10:32,565 --> 00:10:33,701
Hello.
226
00:10:33,701 --> 00:10:35,703
Uh...Yeah,
This is sam malone.
227
00:10:35,703 --> 00:10:40,040
I made a reservation
For two at 7:00.
228
00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:41,675
I want to make sure
It's an intimate table
229
00:10:41,675 --> 00:10:44,211
That seats only two.
230
00:10:44,211 --> 00:10:46,213
Yeah, and there'll be
A third person coming along,
231
00:10:46,213 --> 00:10:50,751
But I want to make sure
That she's seated far away.
232
00:10:52,052 --> 00:10:53,653
No, no. The farther
The better.
233
00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:56,089
In fact, do you have
Something in bombay?
234
00:10:56,089 --> 00:10:57,725
Yeah. Bye.
235
00:10:57,725 --> 00:10:59,993
You're a genius.
236
00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:01,895
I kinda think
I'm wasting my time here.
237
00:11:01,895 --> 00:11:04,264
If cliffie comes in,
Tell him I was here.
238
00:11:04,264 --> 00:11:05,598
Thanks for the beer.
239
00:11:05,598 --> 00:11:06,800
Gonna say
Something to him?
240
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:09,169
I got nothing to say.
241
00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:12,505
Mr. Clavin, maybe cliff
Will call you later.
242
00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:15,608
Well,
He better make it fast.
243
00:11:15,608 --> 00:11:16,977
I'm leaving tomorrow.
244
00:11:16,977 --> 00:11:18,445
Gee, that's too bad.
245
00:11:18,445 --> 00:11:20,814
I'd really like
To make my peace
With the kid.
246
00:11:20,814 --> 00:11:24,017
Well, thanks anyway.
247
00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:25,819
Hold it right there,
Clavin!
248
00:11:33,961 --> 00:11:36,129
I'm cliff clavin, jr.
249
00:11:37,731 --> 00:11:40,633
You're cliff.
250
00:11:40,633 --> 00:11:42,602
You wasted your time
Coming here.
251
00:11:42,602 --> 00:11:45,638
After what you done to
Me, there can be no
Peace between us.
252
00:11:45,638 --> 00:11:47,107
Now hit the bricks!
253
00:11:47,107 --> 00:11:48,776
Cliffie?
254
00:11:50,643 --> 00:11:51,644
What?
255
00:11:51,644 --> 00:11:53,113
What's that?
256
00:11:53,113 --> 00:11:53,914
Where?
257
00:11:53,914 --> 00:11:56,817
Gotcha! Ha ha ha!
258
00:11:56,817 --> 00:11:58,919
Aw, dad,
You always knew
259
00:11:58,919 --> 00:12:00,520
How to push
The right buttons.
260
00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:01,989
Hey!
261
00:12:15,936 --> 00:12:18,605
I just can't stop
Talking about
That meal.
262
00:12:18,605 --> 00:12:20,607
It was simple
And delicate,
263
00:12:20,607 --> 00:12:21,674
Yet provocative.
264
00:12:21,674 --> 00:12:23,176
Well, I never had anything
265
00:12:23,176 --> 00:12:25,178
Quite like that
Lamb vindaloo.
266
00:12:25,178 --> 00:12:26,914
Great recommendation,
Diane.
267
00:12:26,914 --> 00:12:28,916
How was your meal, sam?
268
00:12:28,916 --> 00:12:29,983
The only thing that
Tasted good at the table
269
00:12:29,983 --> 00:12:32,886
Turned out later
To be a candle.
270
00:12:32,886 --> 00:12:36,756
You're not still angry
About sitting alone?
271
00:12:40,327 --> 00:12:41,528
I wasn't alone.
272
00:12:41,528 --> 00:12:44,197
You're forgetting about
That 300-pound hindu
273
00:12:44,197 --> 00:12:45,933
With the goitre
That kept fanning me.
274
00:12:45,933 --> 00:12:50,370
Sam, I know this date
Hasn't turned out
The way you planned it.
275
00:12:50,370 --> 00:12:53,874
Maybe we could still
Salvage something
Of the evening.
276
00:12:53,874 --> 00:12:57,110
Maybe we could go someplace
For dessert.
277
00:12:57,110 --> 00:13:00,313
If I might make
A suggestion.
278
00:13:00,313 --> 00:13:02,883
Why don't you
2 go upstairs
To melville's?
279
00:13:02,883 --> 00:13:04,684
They have great
Cheesecake.
280
00:13:04,684 --> 00:13:06,453
I have
A better idea--
281
00:13:06,453 --> 00:13:09,990
Why don't we
Go over to my place
For a little sammy's jubilee.
282
00:13:09,990 --> 00:13:12,225
Sammy! It's your
Beer distributor.
283
00:13:12,225 --> 00:13:14,995
He says there's
Some problem with
Next month's order.
284
00:13:14,995 --> 00:13:18,665
Let him talk to woody.
Woody handled it last month.
285
00:13:18,665 --> 00:13:20,667
I think that's
The problem.
286
00:13:20,667 --> 00:13:21,668
Damn.
287
00:13:21,668 --> 00:13:23,436
Uh...All right.
288
00:13:23,436 --> 00:13:26,373
Listen,
We'll go up to melville's
For your cheesecake,
289
00:13:26,373 --> 00:13:28,475
But then we're going back to
My place for your beefcake.
290
00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:31,211
You've got some work to do,
Don't you?
291
00:13:32,846 --> 00:13:34,681
Evening, everybody.
292
00:13:34,681 --> 00:13:35,682
Norm!
Norm!
Norm!
293
00:13:35,682 --> 00:13:36,950
Norman.
294
00:13:36,950 --> 00:13:38,618
What's your pleasure,
Mr. Peterson?
295
00:13:38,618 --> 00:13:39,987
Boxer shorts
And loose shoes.
296
00:13:39,987 --> 00:13:42,789
I'll settle
For a beer.
297
00:13:42,789 --> 00:13:45,525
So how was
The hungry heifer?
298
00:13:45,525 --> 00:13:46,626
It wasn't too good.
299
00:13:46,626 --> 00:13:49,396
Oh? What did you have?
300
00:13:49,396 --> 00:13:52,299
They've got this
Chef's special ribs.
301
00:13:52,299 --> 00:13:54,201
Well, that sounds
Pretty good.
302
00:13:54,201 --> 00:13:55,869
That's what I thought.
303
00:13:55,869 --> 00:14:00,440
The chef just came out
And made fun of my tie.
304
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:02,910
So cliffie and his dad
Not back yet?
305
00:14:02,910 --> 00:14:05,345
Oh, no.
They had very big plans.
306
00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:08,148
Mr. Clavin
Wanted to spend the evening
Getting to know his son.
307
00:14:08,148 --> 00:14:11,451
And the rest of his life
Trying to forget.
308
00:14:11,451 --> 00:14:14,154
Hey, woody, next time
You order beer from
The distributor,
309
00:14:14,154 --> 00:14:17,290
Try to be more specific
Than "Lots."
310
00:14:18,625 --> 00:14:20,460
Sorry, sam.
311
00:14:20,460 --> 00:14:21,628
I called melville's.
312
00:14:21,628 --> 00:14:24,231
They have just two
Pieces of cheesecake
Left.
313
00:14:24,231 --> 00:14:26,599
No more, no less,
No diane.
314
00:14:26,599 --> 00:14:30,470
Next to sammy's life,
My life sure looks dull,
Doesn't it?
315
00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:34,407
Next to a barnacle,
My life seems dull.
316
00:14:34,407 --> 00:14:38,511
Say, that cheesecake
Can be pretty fattening.
317
00:14:38,511 --> 00:14:40,647
You got any ideas
How we could
Work it off?
318
00:14:40,647 --> 00:14:44,484
May I say something
To you, sam?
Please.
319
00:14:44,484 --> 00:14:47,487
The first few times
That we went out,
320
00:14:47,487 --> 00:14:51,191
I thought you
Were coming on
A little strong.
321
00:14:51,191 --> 00:14:55,095
I now miss
Those gentler times.
322
00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:56,496
Claudia, trust me.
323
00:14:56,496 --> 00:14:58,898
You're about to come upon
The gentlest time
324
00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:00,900
That you've ever known.
325
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,769
Good lord, sam.
326
00:15:02,769 --> 00:15:04,904
What? That was good.
327
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:07,240
I'm afraid
We're just not
328
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,242
What each other's
Looking for.
329
00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:11,244
All right.
Maybe you're right.
330
00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:15,515
Wait, listen.
I want to wish you
A happy life.
331
00:15:15,515 --> 00:15:18,285
As happy as you can be
Without me.
332
00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:22,022
Come on, there are
No hard feelings
Here, are there?
333
00:15:22,022 --> 00:15:23,723
No. No.
On the contrary.
334
00:15:23,723 --> 00:15:25,725
I'm glad that
This happened
335
00:15:25,725 --> 00:15:27,527
Because I feel
That everything,
336
00:15:27,527 --> 00:15:31,531
No matter how degrading
And humiliating,
337
00:15:31,531 --> 00:15:34,667
Should be experienced
At least once in life.
338
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:37,637
Well, uh, wait a second
Here, claudia.
339
00:15:37,637 --> 00:15:38,938
Let's talk about this.
340
00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:40,407
Claudia?
341
00:15:43,110 --> 00:15:44,744
Claudia left
Rather abruptly.
342
00:15:44,744 --> 00:15:47,147
Didn't even
Say good-bye.
343
00:15:47,147 --> 00:15:50,150
Was she upset
About something?
344
00:15:50,150 --> 00:15:52,485
Yeah, she was upset
About something.
345
00:15:52,485 --> 00:15:54,687
Your little plan
Worked perfectly.
346
00:15:54,687 --> 00:15:56,789
What are you
Talking about?
347
00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:59,993
I can't believe
You're actually
Making me say this.
348
00:15:59,993 --> 00:16:01,561
What?
349
00:16:01,561 --> 00:16:03,563
Why don't you admit
That you're nuts
About me.
350
00:16:03,563 --> 00:16:07,000
You can't stand
Seeing me going out
With other women,
351
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:08,968
So you eliminate
The competition.
352
00:16:10,737 --> 00:16:16,243
Sam, you're hormones
Have staged a coup d'état
On your brain.
353
00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:22,449
No, no.
Don't try to distract me
With hormone talk.
354
00:16:22,449 --> 00:16:24,717
Well, as long
As we're talking
About transparent plans,
355
00:16:24,717 --> 00:16:26,753
Why don't you just admit
That you brought
356
00:16:26,753 --> 00:16:28,455
That clone of me here
357
00:16:28,455 --> 00:16:31,124
Because you're still
Hung up on me.
358
00:16:31,124 --> 00:16:35,795
Are you kidding me?
There's only one reason
Why you came back here--
359
00:16:35,795 --> 00:16:38,431
Because you asked me.
360
00:16:38,431 --> 00:16:40,433
I asked you.
You begged to come back.
361
00:16:40,433 --> 00:16:42,502
I mean, we're
Splitting hairs here.
362
00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:43,836
Sam, melville's
Wants to know
363
00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:45,605
If you still want
That cheesecake.
364
00:16:45,605 --> 00:16:47,774
Yes, I want that cheesecake.
Tell them I'll be right up.
365
00:16:47,774 --> 00:16:49,909
And I'm gonna go up and I'm
Gonna have that cheesecake
All by myself.
366
00:16:49,909 --> 00:16:52,379
It's gonna be the best company
I've had all evening.
367
00:16:52,379 --> 00:16:53,813
Indeed.
368
00:16:53,813 --> 00:16:56,616
Unless maybe
You want to come
369
00:16:56,616 --> 00:17:00,120
And make the evening
A complete disaster.
370
00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:01,954
I wouldn't have
Cheesecake with you
371
00:17:01,954 --> 00:17:04,957
If you were
The last man on earth
372
00:17:04,957 --> 00:17:07,727
And it was the last
Morsel of food.
373
00:17:13,766 --> 00:17:17,104
I'm getting kind of used
To eating by myself
Anyway.
374
00:17:25,645 --> 00:17:27,814
Well, it is
Delicious cheesecake.
375
00:17:31,351 --> 00:17:34,521
Does your offer
Include coffee?
376
00:17:34,521 --> 00:17:37,090
Maybe.
377
00:17:37,090 --> 00:17:38,325
And a refill?
378
00:17:38,325 --> 00:17:40,293
Don't push it.
379
00:17:43,696 --> 00:17:44,631
Sam...
380
00:17:46,333 --> 00:17:49,536
I am sorry that you
Had to eat alone.
381
00:17:49,536 --> 00:17:51,504
It's ok.
382
00:17:51,504 --> 00:17:53,506
What did you guys
Talk about anyway?
383
00:17:53,506 --> 00:17:57,277
Well, we talked
About the postmodernists
384
00:17:57,277 --> 00:17:59,946
And the trend
Away from minimalism
In literature.
385
00:17:59,946 --> 00:18:04,251
All of a sudden, my
Table doesn't seem
So bad after all.
386
00:18:06,553 --> 00:18:09,256
And he says,
"Yeah. My sister."
387
00:18:11,558 --> 00:18:14,961
Whoa, whoa.
Time for a little
In-flight refueling.
388
00:18:14,961 --> 00:18:17,230
Oh, good.
389
00:18:17,230 --> 00:18:19,766
You're good for another
Thousand miles.
390
00:18:22,669 --> 00:18:24,671
You two look like
You've been having
A heck of a time.
391
00:18:24,671 --> 00:18:25,705
What did you do?
392
00:18:25,705 --> 00:18:27,940
He better ask what
We didn't do.
393
00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:30,343
How about if we
Just withdrew
The question?
394
00:18:30,343 --> 00:18:33,246
Well, we caught the first
Quarter of the celtics game,
395
00:18:33,246 --> 00:18:34,714
Went down to the petting zoo.
396
00:18:34,714 --> 00:18:36,583
It was nice, but we peeked
Over the fence.
397
00:18:36,583 --> 00:18:38,585
We went fishing
In the charles
398
00:18:38,585 --> 00:18:40,820
And dad took me to
The all-night barbers
For a haircut.
399
00:18:40,820 --> 00:18:44,757
Yeah, next time he's
Gonna them all cut.
400
00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:47,627
Then later
Over a hot dog
401
00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:49,362
We had a little
Father and son talk...
402
00:18:49,362 --> 00:18:50,763
About the birds
And bees.
403
00:18:50,763 --> 00:18:52,799
Yeah, well, I already knew
About that stuff.
404
00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:57,170
There was one thing
That was a little bit
Shocking, though.
405
00:18:57,170 --> 00:19:00,006
Excuse me, daddy.
I got to make a pit stop.
406
00:19:00,006 --> 00:19:01,908
Yeah, yeah. Go right
Ahead. I'll refuel
A little myself .
407
00:19:01,908 --> 00:19:03,343
[siren wails]
408
00:19:05,077 --> 00:19:06,446
Hey, listen, tell me
About cliffie.
409
00:19:06,446 --> 00:19:08,215
You guys know him
A lot better than I do.
410
00:19:08,215 --> 00:19:10,217
Is he really as nice a guy
As he seems?
411
00:19:10,217 --> 00:19:11,884
You bet.
412
00:19:11,884 --> 00:19:13,119
And smart, too.
413
00:19:13,119 --> 00:19:14,387
One of the smartest
Guys I've met.
414
00:19:14,387 --> 00:19:15,922
And dependable.
415
00:19:15,922 --> 00:19:18,258
Call cliff at 4:00
In the morning,
He's there.
416
00:19:18,258 --> 00:19:20,260
Where else would he be?
417
00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:25,598
Hey, mr. Clavin,
Do you have the gift
Of gab like your son?
418
00:19:25,598 --> 00:19:27,133
Nah. That comes
From his mother's side.
419
00:19:27,133 --> 00:19:29,536
She's the real yapper
In the family.
420
00:19:29,536 --> 00:19:33,473
My god, she gets rolling,
She's like a hyena on bennies.
421
00:19:33,473 --> 00:19:35,141
Hey, dad, come on,
Time's a-wastin'.
422
00:19:35,141 --> 00:19:36,476
What do you say
We go out
423
00:19:36,476 --> 00:19:38,345
And get a set
Of matching tattoos?
424
00:19:38,345 --> 00:19:39,879
Cliffie,
I got to get cracking.
425
00:19:39,879 --> 00:19:41,514
I got a plane to catch.
426
00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:43,149
Come on, dad.
We have so much
Time.
427
00:19:43,149 --> 00:19:44,517
You know,
We haven't talked.
428
00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:47,387
We don't know
About each other.
429
00:19:47,387 --> 00:19:48,688
I just had
A terrific idea.
430
00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:49,956
Oh, yeah?
What's that, dad?
431
00:19:49,956 --> 00:19:52,058
Why don't you come
To australia with me.
432
00:19:52,058 --> 00:19:54,261
Australia?
433
00:19:54,261 --> 00:19:55,662
Yeah.
434
00:19:55,662 --> 00:19:56,863
I don't know if I
Can leave all this,
Dad,
435
00:19:56,863 --> 00:19:58,130
My friends, my job.
436
00:19:58,130 --> 00:20:00,099
You can make new friends,
And you don't need a job.
437
00:20:00,099 --> 00:20:01,200
What?
438
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:02,502
I got a lot of dough
Stashed away.
439
00:20:02,502 --> 00:20:04,404
We could live like kings.
440
00:20:04,404 --> 00:20:06,239
I need time to think
About it.
441
00:20:06,239 --> 00:20:07,540
There's no time.
I got to go now.
442
00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:09,208
What's the rush?
443
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:12,044
I have got to get out
Of this country
As fast as I can.
444
00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:14,113
What's going on,
Dad?
445
00:20:14,113 --> 00:20:15,348
Ok, listen,
I'll level with you.
446
00:20:15,348 --> 00:20:17,149
You're my son.
I can trust you.
447
00:20:17,149 --> 00:20:20,086
My business has got me
In a little trouble
With the law.
448
00:20:20,086 --> 00:20:22,755
What kind of business
Is that?
449
00:20:22,755 --> 00:20:25,558
Real estate fraud.
450
00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:28,861
Dad, that's illegal.
451
00:20:28,861 --> 00:20:31,831
Good. I'm not going
Too fast for you.
452
00:20:31,831 --> 00:20:34,434
Listen, cliffie,
Come on, you going
To come with me?
453
00:20:34,434 --> 00:20:37,103
No, look, dad,
I can't let you do this.
454
00:20:37,103 --> 00:20:39,205
How about
You give the money back,
455
00:20:39,205 --> 00:20:40,607
Throw yourself
On the mercy of the court,
456
00:20:40,607 --> 00:20:41,908
They'll let you off
With a slap on the wrist.
457
00:20:41,908 --> 00:20:42,842
10 years, max.
458
00:20:42,842 --> 00:20:44,511
10 years?
Come on, cliff. Grow up.
459
00:20:44,511 --> 00:20:46,112
We're talking about
Heavy cake here.
460
00:20:46,112 --> 00:20:47,747
Now, I want you to come.
Are you gonna come
Or no?
461
00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:51,250
How do you know
I'm not gonna turn you in?
462
00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:55,455
Cliffie, you're
Not going to turn in
Your own father.
463
00:20:55,455 --> 00:20:58,458
I know that,
And you know that.
464
00:20:58,458 --> 00:21:01,461
Yeah. You're right, dad.
465
00:21:01,461 --> 00:21:03,195
All right, I had
A couple of beers.
466
00:21:03,195 --> 00:21:06,366
I'm gonna make one more
Stop, then I'm gone.
467
00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:14,974
Give me the phone.
468
00:21:14,974 --> 00:21:15,908
What's wrong?
469
00:21:17,610 --> 00:21:19,612
My old man's a crook.
470
00:21:19,612 --> 00:21:21,781
He's leaving the country
One step ahead of the law.
471
00:21:21,781 --> 00:21:24,083
You're not gonna
Rat on your old man?
472
00:21:24,083 --> 00:21:25,251
Think about this,
Will ya?
473
00:21:25,251 --> 00:21:27,687
There's nothing
To think about.
474
00:21:27,687 --> 00:21:28,788
Information?
475
00:21:28,788 --> 00:21:31,290
Yeah, give me
The federal authorities.
476
00:21:33,493 --> 00:21:34,794
I don't know.
477
00:21:34,794 --> 00:21:37,964
Somebody in charge
Of rotten daddies.
478
00:21:39,532 --> 00:21:40,800
I can't do it.
479
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:44,337
I've aided a fugitive
From justice.
480
00:21:44,337 --> 00:21:46,339
I'm a disgrace
To my uniform.
481
00:21:46,339 --> 00:21:49,509
Hey, come on.
Come off it, clavin.
482
00:21:49,509 --> 00:21:51,511
You didn't
Disgrace anything.
483
00:21:51,511 --> 00:21:54,514
You can't
Turn the old guy in
484
00:21:54,514 --> 00:21:55,815
Because
You love him.
485
00:21:55,815 --> 00:21:59,352
Anyone would
Understand that.
486
00:22:01,020 --> 00:22:02,522
Thank you, carla.
487
00:22:02,522 --> 00:22:04,791
You're right.
488
00:22:04,791 --> 00:22:06,993
I do love him.
489
00:22:06,993 --> 00:22:08,628
Matter of fact,
490
00:22:08,628 --> 00:22:10,530
I think I'll go
Give him a big hug
Right now.
491
00:22:10,530 --> 00:22:12,599
Yo, cliffie, I think it
Might be a little uncool
492
00:22:12,599 --> 00:22:14,767
To hug him
In the men's room.
493
00:22:16,669 --> 00:22:19,539
I guess you're
Right, norm.
494
00:22:19,539 --> 00:22:21,107
What the heck?
I can't wait.
495
00:22:21,107 --> 00:22:24,210
It's the longest
We've been apart
All day.
496
00:22:24,210 --> 00:22:25,712
Carla...
497
00:22:25,712 --> 00:22:27,680
You know, for a minute there,
You treated cliff
498
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:29,482
As if he was
A human being.
499
00:22:31,451 --> 00:22:35,555
What you are
Experiencing
Is a half melvin.
500
00:22:35,555 --> 00:22:37,957
You breathe
One word of this,
501
00:22:37,957 --> 00:22:40,693
And I'm going
To give you
A full melvin.
502
00:22:40,693 --> 00:22:43,696
I think
We understand each other.
503
00:22:51,571 --> 00:22:52,739
He's gone.
504
00:22:55,775 --> 00:22:58,344
This is all that's left.
505
00:22:58,344 --> 00:23:02,281
What do you suppose
Happened to him?
506
00:23:02,281 --> 00:23:04,116
It's obvious, isn't it?
507
00:23:04,116 --> 00:23:06,018
My father didn't trust me,
508
00:23:06,018 --> 00:23:09,856
So he gave me the slip
Out the bathroom window.
509
00:23:13,359 --> 00:23:18,565
Guess I'll just go home.
510
00:23:24,571 --> 00:23:27,139
You're ruling out
The other possibility.
511
00:23:29,408 --> 00:23:30,810
What other possibility?
512
00:23:30,810 --> 00:23:33,412
It's a little-known fact--
513
00:23:33,412 --> 00:23:37,617
More and more people have
Been going into men's rooms
514
00:23:37,617 --> 00:23:40,052
And vaporizing.
515
00:23:40,052 --> 00:23:43,756
I mean, just disappearing
Into thin air.
516
00:23:43,756 --> 00:23:45,558
It's an unexplained
Phenomenon.
517
00:23:45,558 --> 00:23:46,559
It's kinda like
The bermuda triangle.
518
00:23:46,559 --> 00:23:47,827
That's right.
519
00:23:47,827 --> 00:23:52,965
Yeah, yeah.
Get serious, will you?
520
00:23:52,965 --> 00:23:54,066
Have it your way.
521
00:23:58,505 --> 00:23:59,506
Well...
522
00:23:59,506 --> 00:24:02,509
However,
This much is true--
523
00:24:02,509 --> 00:24:05,778
There have been recent
Sightings of human beings
524
00:24:05,778 --> 00:24:07,514
Being shot up
Into the underbelly
525
00:24:07,514 --> 00:24:08,915
Of alien spacecraft.
526
00:24:10,517 --> 00:24:12,819
You know, and speaking
Of the bermuda triangle,
527
00:24:12,819 --> 00:24:15,254
It's not technically
A triangle.
528
00:24:15,254 --> 00:24:16,823
It's not?
529
00:24:16,823 --> 00:24:17,624
Heck, no.
530
00:24:17,624 --> 00:24:20,226
It's a trapezedaromboid.
531
00:24:20,226 --> 00:24:22,962
They're perfect for attracting
Martian spacecraft.
38483
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.