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1
00:00:03,771 --> 00:00:05,639
Cheers is filmed before
A live studio audience.
2
00:00:16,317 --> 00:00:18,652
Buon giorno, norm.
3
00:00:18,652 --> 00:00:20,388
Cliffy.
4
00:00:20,388 --> 00:00:24,325
Yeah, kind of bright
Out there today, huh?
5
00:00:24,325 --> 00:00:25,959
I wouldn't know.
6
00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:27,828
Yeah...
7
00:00:27,828 --> 00:00:31,432
Feel sorry for all those people
Who have to squint.
8
00:00:32,633 --> 00:00:33,801
Ahh...Say, cliff,
9
00:00:33,801 --> 00:00:36,170
Those wouldn't be
New glasses, would they?
10
00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:38,272
Oh, hey, noticed, huh?
11
00:00:38,272 --> 00:00:41,509
Yeah, italian imports.
65 smackeroonies.
12
00:00:41,509 --> 00:00:45,246
That's right. Notice the sleek
European styling there,
13
00:00:45,246 --> 00:00:47,281
The sturdy,
Reinforced frames,
14
00:00:47,281 --> 00:00:50,017
The high-tech, shatterproof
Reflective lenses
15
00:00:50,017 --> 00:00:52,453
That allow me to scope out
The dollies
16
00:00:52,453 --> 00:00:55,256
Without drawing
Attention to myself.
17
00:00:55,256 --> 00:00:58,326
You can walk up to 'em
Naked with your hair on fire
18
00:00:58,326 --> 00:01:01,362
And not draw attention
To yourself.
19
00:01:02,263 --> 00:01:03,997
Yeah? What would you know?
20
00:01:03,997 --> 00:01:06,100
It'll only work on women.
21
00:01:06,100 --> 00:01:10,338
Ooh, they seem to have
Given you courage.
22
00:01:12,673 --> 00:01:13,741
Prove it.
23
00:01:13,741 --> 00:01:15,143
Well, what do you mean?
24
00:01:15,143 --> 00:01:17,678
I wouldn't mind seeing
A little demonstration
Myself.
25
00:01:17,678 --> 00:01:19,680
All right, all right.
26
00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:21,415
All right.
27
00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:23,083
You got the shades.
What are you worrying about?
28
00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:25,386
Come on, come on.
29
00:01:31,692 --> 00:01:35,062
Ahem. Uh, excuse me.
30
00:01:35,062 --> 00:01:37,631
Oh, perfect.
31
00:01:47,875 --> 00:01:49,510
Thanks.
32
00:01:56,317 --> 00:01:58,752
* makin' your way
In the world today *
33
00:01:58,752 --> 00:02:01,522
* takes everything
You've got *
34
00:02:01,522 --> 00:02:04,525
* taking a break
From all your worries *
35
00:02:04,525 --> 00:02:07,628
* sure would help a lot *
36
00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:11,465
* wouldn't you
Like to get away? *
37
00:02:13,701 --> 00:02:15,769
* sometimes
You wanna go *
38
00:02:15,769 --> 00:02:19,473
* where everybody
Knows your name *
39
00:02:21,342 --> 00:02:24,512
* and they're always
Glad you came *
40
00:02:25,579 --> 00:02:28,115
* you wanna be
Where you can see *
41
00:02:28,115 --> 00:02:30,584
* our troubles
Are all the same *
42
00:02:30,584 --> 00:02:36,156
* you wanna be where
Everybody knows your name *
43
00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:41,462
* you wanna go where people know
People are all the same *
44
00:02:41,462 --> 00:02:45,699
* you wanna go where everybody
Knows your name *
45
00:03:06,587 --> 00:03:08,289
I don't care
What anybody says.
46
00:03:08,289 --> 00:03:09,923
We had better chatter
Out there.
47
00:03:09,923 --> 00:03:12,393
Shut up, cliff.
48
00:03:12,393 --> 00:03:17,030
Sounds suspiciously as if
There is no joy in mudville.
49
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:18,832
Who gives a damn?
We lost.
50
00:03:20,368 --> 00:03:23,837
We didn't lose.
We got dumped on.
51
00:03:23,837 --> 00:03:26,674
We were dragged
By our noses
Through the dung heap.
52
00:03:26,674 --> 00:03:28,242
They ripped out
Our guts,
53
00:03:28,242 --> 00:03:29,610
Held them up for us to see,
54
00:03:29,610 --> 00:03:32,079
And then they rammed 'em
Down our throats.
55
00:03:32,079 --> 00:03:34,715
Ahh, it's
A grand old game.
56
00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:39,320
Damn. Now I know why
They weren't afraid
To let me play.
57
00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:40,688
They were great
Out there.
58
00:03:40,688 --> 00:03:42,756
They were like
The '27 yankees.
59
00:03:42,756 --> 00:03:46,059
He's exaggerating.
There were only 9 of 'em.
60
00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:49,997
Come on, guys, we can't
Just sit around and cry
In our beer here.
61
00:03:49,997 --> 00:03:51,699
Norman's right.
62
00:03:51,699 --> 00:03:53,467
We don't have any.
Come on, diane,
Step on it, will ya?
63
00:03:53,467 --> 00:03:55,636
I feel a tear
Welling up here.
64
00:03:55,636 --> 00:03:58,238
All right, what the hell?
First round on the house.
65
00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:00,173
Hey, sam...
66
00:04:00,173 --> 00:04:03,377
Yeah, well, if you think
I'm drinking with you guys,
You're nuts.
67
00:04:03,377 --> 00:04:05,313
I'd rather drink with
Those snail pellets
68
00:04:05,313 --> 00:04:07,415
From gary's
Old towne tavern.
69
00:04:07,415 --> 00:04:08,582
At least they're winners.
70
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:10,518
That really hurts, carla.
71
00:04:10,518 --> 00:04:12,386
I don't think
We played so bad.
72
00:04:12,386 --> 00:04:15,523
Oh, listen to mr. Gold glove
Over here.
Come on.
73
00:04:15,523 --> 00:04:18,191
Yeah? You drew more flies
Than bad liver.
74
00:04:18,191 --> 00:04:19,327
Aw, gimme a break.
75
00:04:19,327 --> 00:04:21,662
The only thing
More amazing than that
76
00:04:21,662 --> 00:04:23,864
Was that you dropped
Every one of 'em.
77
00:04:23,864 --> 00:04:25,366
Come on, will ya?
78
00:04:25,366 --> 00:04:28,001
I just have
A little problem with
Balls hit directly at me.
79
00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:32,072
I think it's probably--
It's the sun, you know,
80
00:04:32,072 --> 00:04:34,942
Or that
I can't bend over.
81
00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:37,077
Poor norman.
82
00:04:37,077 --> 00:04:42,316
Well, at least some of us
Looked good out there, huh?
83
00:04:42,316 --> 00:04:47,721
Yeah, cliff, the less
Of your face showing,
The better.
84
00:04:48,889 --> 00:04:50,924
Listen to yourselves.
85
00:04:50,924 --> 00:04:55,563
You're letting a minor setback
In some trivial competition
86
00:04:55,563 --> 00:04:58,198
Ruin what is an otherwise
Lovely day.
87
00:04:58,198 --> 00:05:00,801
Bleeeh.
88
00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:02,670
Forget it, sam.
89
00:05:02,670 --> 00:05:04,538
You just don't get it,
Do you?
90
00:05:04,538 --> 00:05:07,207
It's not just the guys
From gary's beat us
91
00:05:07,207 --> 00:05:09,910
At basketball,
Volleyball, darts,
92
00:05:09,910 --> 00:05:12,713
And every other sport
Known to mankind.
93
00:05:12,713 --> 00:05:14,181
It's more than that.
94
00:05:14,181 --> 00:05:17,718
I'm a jock.
This is a jock bar,
95
00:05:17,718 --> 00:05:20,721
But if we keep losing,
All the jocks are gonna say,
96
00:05:20,721 --> 00:05:21,922
"Hey, cheers
Is for losers.
97
00:05:21,922 --> 00:05:23,724
Let's go drink
Over at gary's."
98
00:05:23,724 --> 00:05:25,459
Oh, they'll never say that.
99
00:05:25,459 --> 00:05:27,428
Oh, they'll never say that.
They'll say, "Me no like cheers.
100
00:05:27,428 --> 00:05:29,863
Let's go to gary's."
101
00:05:42,976 --> 00:05:44,578
Gentlemen of cheers.
102
00:05:44,578 --> 00:05:46,480
Oh...
And ladies...
103
00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:49,116
Tough game out there today.
104
00:05:49,116 --> 00:05:50,484
What are you doing here?
105
00:05:50,484 --> 00:05:51,819
Boy, you guys
Had the worst luck.
106
00:05:51,819 --> 00:05:54,855
Yeah, looks like it just
Followed us home, huh?
107
00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:56,824
Listen, we were over
Having a celebration
108
00:05:56,824 --> 00:05:59,292
At my little tavern,
And I kept thinking,
109
00:05:59,292 --> 00:06:00,828
"Something's missing."
110
00:06:00,828 --> 00:06:03,664
Wasn't as happy as it
Usually is when we beat you.
111
00:06:03,664 --> 00:06:05,799
And then I realized
What it was.
112
00:06:05,799 --> 00:06:08,769
I didn't get a chance
To thank you guys for the game.
113
00:06:08,769 --> 00:06:12,272
So I came over here
To do it now.
114
00:06:12,272 --> 00:06:13,907
Way to go.
115
00:06:14,975 --> 00:06:16,910
The pop-up king.
116
00:06:18,979 --> 00:06:20,581
Many thanks.
117
00:06:21,915 --> 00:06:23,451
Great glasses.
118
00:06:23,451 --> 00:06:27,488
Oh, oh...
119
00:06:27,488 --> 00:06:29,990
This is what
I was afraid of--
120
00:06:29,990 --> 00:06:31,659
Hard feelings.
121
00:06:32,526 --> 00:06:33,861
What are you talking about?
122
00:06:33,861 --> 00:06:36,697
You guys have nothing
To hang your heads about.
123
00:06:36,697 --> 00:06:40,100
You played hard.
You played clean.
You gave it your all.
124
00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:44,371
Just remember,
It takes 2 sides
To make a victory--
125
00:06:44,371 --> 00:06:48,175
One side to win
And you guys.
126
00:06:48,175 --> 00:06:51,445
Excuse me, but you've
Obviously come here
127
00:06:51,445 --> 00:06:53,146
To belittle my friends.
128
00:06:53,146 --> 00:06:55,115
Why I can only speculate.
129
00:06:55,115 --> 00:06:59,019
Perhaps you're
Compensating for some
Physical shortcoming.
130
00:07:01,088 --> 00:07:05,125
But it's tragic that
You place such stock
131
00:07:05,125 --> 00:07:06,994
In a silly competition.
132
00:07:06,994 --> 00:07:10,363
What of higher attainments?
What of loftier pursuits?
133
00:07:10,363 --> 00:07:13,033
What of art and philosophy?
134
00:07:13,033 --> 00:07:15,335
What of music?
135
00:07:15,335 --> 00:07:17,104
I graduated magna cum laude
136
00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:18,839
In american literature
From princeton.
137
00:07:18,839 --> 00:07:21,475
Oh? Couldn't make summa?
138
00:07:25,012 --> 00:07:26,480
Hey, look, gary,
139
00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:28,582
You only came here
To rub our noses in it.
140
00:07:28,582 --> 00:07:30,450
You've done a great job.
Mission accomplished.
141
00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:31,451
Now why don't you
Take off?
142
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:33,086
Yeah, take a hike.
143
00:07:33,086 --> 00:07:36,323
But, sam, I came here in
The spirit of sportsmanship.
144
00:07:36,323 --> 00:07:38,659
I'll show you
Sportsmanship.
145
00:07:39,527 --> 00:07:40,528
[cliff raspberries]
146
00:07:40,528 --> 00:07:41,895
People, people...
147
00:07:43,931 --> 00:07:45,833
This is neither the time
Nor the place
148
00:07:45,833 --> 00:07:47,200
For such childish behavior.
149
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:50,437
Yeah, let's save it
For when we kick his butt.
150
00:07:50,437 --> 00:07:54,508
In what? We're kind of
Running out of sports,
Aren't we?
151
00:07:56,376 --> 00:08:00,614
Well, it's really been
A truly enjoyable afternoon.
152
00:08:00,614 --> 00:08:02,716
Gentlemen, ladies, see you.
153
00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:05,185
Hey, hey, hey, listen,
I'll have you know
154
00:08:05,185 --> 00:08:07,320
That I'm putting together a team
Right this very moment
155
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,990
That's gonna have you shaking
In those shoes of yours.
156
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:12,626
Those are nice.
157
00:08:12,626 --> 00:08:16,163
Oh, thanks. And...
Is that a challenge?
158
00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:17,297
Yeah.
159
00:08:17,297 --> 00:08:18,465
In what sport?
160
00:08:18,465 --> 00:08:20,200
I'll tell you
In what sport.
161
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:21,835
In, uh...
162
00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:22,970
Bowling.
163
00:08:22,970 --> 00:08:24,271
Yeah, bowling.
164
00:08:24,271 --> 00:08:27,074
Great. I've knocked down
A pin or two in my day.
165
00:08:27,074 --> 00:08:27,975
When and where?
166
00:08:27,975 --> 00:08:30,410
I'll just
Let you know, ok?
167
00:08:30,410 --> 00:08:31,845
Ok.
168
00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:32,646
Ok.
169
00:08:32,646 --> 00:08:34,514
Ok.
Ok.
170
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:36,149
Ok!
Ok!
171
00:08:36,149 --> 00:08:38,251
Ok!!
Ok!!
172
00:08:40,988 --> 00:08:42,122
Bowling?
173
00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:45,458
Don't worry.
I got this theory, sam.
174
00:08:45,458 --> 00:08:47,695
You see,
All those other sports
175
00:08:47,695 --> 00:08:49,763
Required real
Athletic ability.
176
00:08:49,763 --> 00:08:50,964
But with bowling,
177
00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:53,266
We got the makings
Of a great team.
178
00:08:53,266 --> 00:08:54,835
Carla...
179
00:08:54,835 --> 00:08:57,671
Listen. You go
To any bowling alley,
What do you see?
180
00:08:57,671 --> 00:08:59,840
A bunch of out-of-shape
Couch potatoes
181
00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:03,276
Who do nothing but sit around
And swill beer.
182
00:09:03,276 --> 00:09:05,445
All right, we're number 1!
183
00:09:05,445 --> 00:09:07,815
[all shout and cheer]
184
00:09:14,722 --> 00:09:17,825
Back so soon from the sport
Of the great unwashed?
185
00:09:20,427 --> 00:09:22,029
How was the audition?
186
00:09:22,029 --> 00:09:26,700
Tryout. Diane, in sports,
It's called a tryout.
187
00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:28,068
We got a team.
188
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:29,703
Yeah, of what
I'd like to know.
189
00:09:29,703 --> 00:09:32,640
I'm gonna call gary
And call it off.
190
00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:34,775
I'm telling you,
191
00:09:34,775 --> 00:09:38,478
When one lousy bar can't
Produce 4 decent bowlers,
192
00:09:38,478 --> 00:09:43,083
It's time for america to take
A long, hard look at itself.
193
00:09:50,691 --> 00:09:51,992
Hey, you!
194
00:09:53,994 --> 00:09:57,297
You don't know anything
About bowling, do you?
195
00:10:01,735 --> 00:10:03,771
Hey, woodhead...
196
00:10:03,771 --> 00:10:07,875
I asked you if you
Know how to bowl.
197
00:10:13,580 --> 00:10:16,249
You have bowled,
Haven't you?
198
00:10:16,249 --> 00:10:18,085
Yes.
199
00:10:18,085 --> 00:10:20,187
When? When?
200
00:10:20,187 --> 00:10:21,354
B-before.
201
00:10:21,354 --> 00:10:22,389
Before what?
202
00:10:22,389 --> 00:10:24,758
Before I came to cheers.
203
00:10:24,758 --> 00:10:27,027
You're good, aren't ya?!
204
00:10:28,428 --> 00:10:33,000
Yeah, I won
A couple trophies.
205
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:35,502
Sammy, sam, sam,
Don't call it off.
206
00:10:35,502 --> 00:10:37,637
Wh-what?
Hold on a second.
207
00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:38,739
We got a ringer.
208
00:10:38,739 --> 00:10:40,240
We got what?
209
00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:42,142
We got a ringer. Woody.
Woody is a bowling machine.
210
00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:45,779
Trust me. He's got
A room full of trophies.
211
00:10:45,779 --> 00:10:49,783
Uh, hey, gare. No,
We're not wimping out.
212
00:10:49,783 --> 00:10:51,218
Yeah, tomorrow,
213
00:10:51,218 --> 00:10:53,887
Vic's bowl-a-rama,
We rumble.
214
00:10:56,189 --> 00:10:58,726
Ok. Ok!
215
00:10:58,726 --> 00:11:00,460
Aw, that's...
216
00:11:00,460 --> 00:11:02,696
All right, woody.
217
00:11:02,696 --> 00:11:05,298
Please don't ask me to bowl.
I can't.
218
00:11:05,298 --> 00:11:07,134
Why not?
219
00:11:07,134 --> 00:11:09,770
The tragedy.
220
00:11:10,804 --> 00:11:12,806
W-what tragedy?
What tragedy?
221
00:11:12,806 --> 00:11:17,878
Once I maimed a man
In a bowling accident.
222
00:11:17,878 --> 00:11:21,982
I'll never bowl again
As long as I live.
223
00:11:27,620 --> 00:11:31,892
Great idea, sam.
Bowling.
224
00:11:45,739 --> 00:11:49,943
Ok, uh, it's time to go.
225
00:11:49,943 --> 00:11:52,746
Let's see if we can,
You know, maybe,
226
00:11:52,746 --> 00:11:56,616
Somehow manage
Not to embarrass
Ourselves.
227
00:11:56,616 --> 00:12:00,420
Ladies and gentlemen,
Knute rockne.
228
00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:02,756
Come on. Let's go.
I wanna warm up.
229
00:12:04,491 --> 00:12:06,493
Hold on a second, guys.
230
00:12:06,493 --> 00:12:10,330
Say, woody,
Still not too late
To change your mind.
231
00:12:10,330 --> 00:12:12,699
[all talking at once]
232
00:12:12,699 --> 00:12:14,734
Don't you understand?
I maimed a man.
233
00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:17,037
Bowling accidents happen.
234
00:12:17,037 --> 00:12:20,140
You read about them
In the paper all the time.
235
00:12:20,140 --> 00:12:23,844
He was only
An innocent
Maintenance man.
236
00:12:23,844 --> 00:12:27,414
Aw, man,
He knew the risks.
237
00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:29,482
I still don't know
What happened, you know?
238
00:12:29,482 --> 00:12:32,152
One minute, I was picking up
The 8-10 split,
239
00:12:32,152 --> 00:12:35,722
And the next thing I know,
The 10-pin flies
240
00:12:35,722 --> 00:12:37,524
And hits old sully
Right between the eyes,
241
00:12:37,524 --> 00:12:41,194
And he goes down
Like a sack of wheat.
242
00:12:41,194 --> 00:12:43,396
Sam, I ruined
The man's life.
243
00:12:43,396 --> 00:12:44,965
Oh, come on.
I'm sure you're
Exaggerating.
244
00:12:44,965 --> 00:12:46,533
Oh, no--no, I'm not.
245
00:12:46,533 --> 00:12:49,536
Old sully got too dimwitted
To stay in bowling maintenance.
246
00:12:49,536 --> 00:12:53,841
Last I heard, he was a clown
At children's birthday parties.
247
00:12:53,841 --> 00:12:55,742
Well, what's wrong
With that?
248
00:12:55,742 --> 00:12:57,110
He wasn't invited to them.
249
00:12:58,578 --> 00:13:00,247
Come on, woody.
250
00:13:00,247 --> 00:13:03,783
Listen, man,
I have never begged
For anything in my life.
251
00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:05,085
[clears throat]
252
00:13:05,085 --> 00:13:06,453
That I actually enjoyed
Once I got it.
253
00:13:08,555 --> 00:13:11,591
Come on, please!
Come on.
254
00:13:11,591 --> 00:13:12,926
Join the team here.
255
00:13:12,926 --> 00:13:14,928
We need you, woody.
Come on.
256
00:13:14,928 --> 00:13:16,263
I can't.
257
00:13:16,263 --> 00:13:17,597
Since the accident,
I haven't been able
258
00:13:17,597 --> 00:13:18,999
To set foot
In a bowling alley.
259
00:13:18,999 --> 00:13:21,201
Well, why don't you
Just try it today?
260
00:13:21,201 --> 00:13:22,735
Maybe the memory's
Faded.
261
00:13:22,735 --> 00:13:24,371
Hey,
You don't understand
What's at stake--
262
00:13:24,371 --> 00:13:28,041
Hey, can't you hear me?!
No!
263
00:13:28,041 --> 00:13:31,778
Sammy, I'll take a crack
At him here.
264
00:13:31,778 --> 00:13:33,780
Listen, man, all right?
265
00:13:33,780 --> 00:13:35,983
Now, every once in a while,
266
00:13:35,983 --> 00:13:38,651
You just gotta
Look beyond yourself, ok,
267
00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:40,553
And think about the team.
268
00:13:40,553 --> 00:13:42,856
My old high-school
Football coach
Used to always say,
269
00:13:42,856 --> 00:13:44,324
"Give the ball
To peterson.
270
00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:45,959
He'll know
What to do with it."
271
00:13:45,959 --> 00:13:48,595
Well, hey, I didn't want
That responsibility,
272
00:13:48,595 --> 00:13:50,030
But for the good
Of the team--
273
00:13:50,030 --> 00:13:52,832
You understand--
I took it.
274
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:54,434
We went ahead, and
We had a great season.
275
00:13:54,434 --> 00:13:57,304
Were you the fullback,
Mr. Peterson?
276
00:13:57,304 --> 00:13:58,605
No, I was
The equipment manager,
277
00:13:58,605 --> 00:14:00,307
But that's
Not what I'm talking--
278
00:14:00,307 --> 00:14:03,476
You're wasting your breath.
He ain't bowling.
279
00:14:03,476 --> 00:14:04,945
Think about that, woody.
280
00:14:21,728 --> 00:14:23,063
Man: all right!
281
00:14:27,234 --> 00:14:28,168
Yeah!
282
00:14:29,436 --> 00:14:31,871
[chanting]
Old towne tavern!
Old towne tavern!
283
00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:34,741
Old towne tavern!
Old towne tavern!
284
00:14:34,741 --> 00:14:36,343
Quiet, you guys.
285
00:14:36,343 --> 00:14:38,878
Let's show
Our worthy opponent
A little courtesy.
286
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:40,347
Back off, buster,
287
00:14:40,347 --> 00:14:42,282
Or I'll put vaseline
In your finger holes.
288
00:14:42,282 --> 00:14:44,317
Just try to touch my ball.
289
00:14:44,317 --> 00:14:46,886
I'm talking
About your nose.
290
00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:03,503
Choke on it.
291
00:15:03,503 --> 00:15:04,504
Choke on it.
292
00:15:04,504 --> 00:15:06,439
You guys got the cheering
Under control.
293
00:15:06,439 --> 00:15:08,175
I'm gonna mosey up
To the bar for a beer.
294
00:15:08,175 --> 00:15:09,476
Cliff: hey, you're gonna
Miss the game, norm.
295
00:15:09,476 --> 00:15:11,244
Then that's
A perfect plan, huh?
296
00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:13,813
Hey, cliffy, how we doing?
297
00:15:13,813 --> 00:15:15,682
Uh, 50 pins down.
298
00:15:15,682 --> 00:15:18,618
Sinking like a stone, sammy.
299
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,489
Bar patrons: norm!
300
00:15:22,489 --> 00:15:24,491
How the hell
Do they know him here?
301
00:15:24,491 --> 00:15:26,359
He's got a life,
You know.
302
00:15:28,561 --> 00:15:30,730
That's all right, man.
That's ok.
303
00:15:30,730 --> 00:15:32,399
Hey, tawny.
304
00:15:32,399 --> 00:15:35,702
Has anyone ever told you
You make even bowling shoes
Look sexy?
305
00:15:35,702 --> 00:15:37,104
Can't you ever stop?
306
00:15:37,104 --> 00:15:38,671
You're fraternizing
With the enemy.
307
00:15:38,671 --> 00:15:40,507
No, I'm just trying
To distract her here
308
00:15:40,507 --> 00:15:42,042
So she won't know
What to do.
309
00:15:42,042 --> 00:15:44,511
A little wink, a sexy nod,
310
00:15:44,511 --> 00:15:47,380
And a glimpse of these
Taut, athletic buns.
311
00:15:47,380 --> 00:15:50,283
Oh, wait a second here,
Tawny.
312
00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:51,651
Oh, what's this?
313
00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:06,666
I think your butt
Needs a tune-up.
314
00:16:06,666 --> 00:16:07,734
Diane: sam.
315
00:16:07,734 --> 00:16:09,136
Hey, what are you doing here?
316
00:16:09,136 --> 00:16:10,737
I'm here
As a driver only,
317
00:16:10,737 --> 00:16:12,905
But I brought
Someone with me
Who'd like to bowl.
318
00:16:12,905 --> 00:16:13,973
Woody! Oh!
319
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:16,176
[cheering]
320
00:16:16,176 --> 00:16:17,277
Hey, time-out, gary.
321
00:16:17,277 --> 00:16:20,280
All right. Settle down.
322
00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:23,383
Oh, who's taking care
Of the bar, here?
323
00:16:23,383 --> 00:16:25,485
Oh, don't worry.
We closed it.
324
00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:27,287
We would have
Been here sooner,
325
00:16:27,287 --> 00:16:28,855
But it took a while
To get all those people
Out of there.
326
00:16:28,855 --> 00:16:31,524
Oh, well, great, yeah.
327
00:16:31,524 --> 00:16:33,393
All right,
Go get some shoes on, here.
328
00:16:33,393 --> 00:16:34,327
[cheering]
329
00:16:36,796 --> 00:16:39,666
W-what made him
Change his mind?
330
00:16:39,666 --> 00:16:40,767
I don't know.
331
00:16:40,767 --> 00:16:42,602
He was right in the middle
Of doing something,
332
00:16:42,602 --> 00:16:45,238
And he said,
"I can't let the guys down.
Let's go."
333
00:16:45,238 --> 00:16:46,873
All right, woody.
334
00:16:46,873 --> 00:16:47,940
Whoa. How are we
Gonna do this?
335
00:16:47,940 --> 00:16:49,142
We've already started here.
336
00:16:49,142 --> 00:16:51,078
Cliff, what about
Your wrist injury?
337
00:16:51,078 --> 00:16:52,145
What injury?
338
00:16:52,145 --> 00:16:54,013
Don't make me hurt you.
339
00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:55,782
Oh. Oh!
340
00:16:55,782 --> 00:16:57,384
Aah!
Man: easy. Easy.
341
00:16:57,384 --> 00:17:01,121
Oh, gary, we're gonna need
An injury substitution here.
342
00:17:01,121 --> 00:17:03,356
Hey, you got it.
343
00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:05,292
The one thing I've never
Been called is "Unfair."
344
00:17:05,292 --> 00:17:08,195
I can believe
That's the one thing
You've never been called.
345
00:17:08,195 --> 00:17:12,199
All right, well,
I'm gonna go fire woody up.
346
00:17:12,199 --> 00:17:15,702
Ah, the alleys.
Thanks.
347
00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:18,171
It's really
A sensory experience,
You know?
348
00:17:18,171 --> 00:17:21,441
The scent of aqua net
On a beehive hairdo.
349
00:17:21,441 --> 00:17:24,311
The roar of polyester
Against old naugahyde.
350
00:17:24,311 --> 00:17:29,282
The sight of the cigarettes
Stubbed out in a patty melt.
351
00:17:29,282 --> 00:17:33,186
All this
Plus the anticipation
Of placing your feet
352
00:17:33,186 --> 00:17:36,956
In shoes
Only 7,000 others
Have worn before you.
353
00:17:36,956 --> 00:17:39,659
Man: woody! Yeah!
354
00:17:39,659 --> 00:17:40,593
Let's go!
355
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:46,032
Listen, if this is
Gonna be tough on you,
356
00:17:46,032 --> 00:17:48,335
I want you to know
That you don't have to
Do this, woody.
357
00:17:48,335 --> 00:17:50,069
Oh, I want to, sam.
358
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:51,671
You absolutely sure?
359
00:17:51,671 --> 00:17:52,639
Oh, I'm sure.
360
00:17:52,639 --> 00:17:55,475
Y'all have been
Like family to me.
361
00:17:57,177 --> 00:17:58,811
I love you guys.
362
00:17:58,811 --> 00:18:01,748
Sam: ok.
All right, woody.
363
00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:03,850
Yeah,
Watch this, gare.
364
00:18:03,850 --> 00:18:05,118
Yeah.
365
00:18:24,671 --> 00:18:27,140
If you're having
Second thoughts,
That's ok, pal.
366
00:18:27,140 --> 00:18:28,875
Oh, no. I want to do this.
367
00:18:28,875 --> 00:18:31,411
Ok, I'm ready.
368
00:18:31,411 --> 00:18:32,812
Woody!
369
00:18:50,763 --> 00:18:52,399
Woody?
370
00:18:52,399 --> 00:18:54,901
I wanna do this, sam.
371
00:18:54,901 --> 00:18:55,902
Remember, I love you guys.
372
00:18:55,902 --> 00:18:57,270
I'm ready, sam.
373
00:18:57,270 --> 00:18:59,272
It's ok, woody.
374
00:18:59,272 --> 00:19:00,507
Move, ball.
375
00:19:00,507 --> 00:19:02,209
I don't know
What I was worried about.
376
00:19:02,209 --> 00:19:05,445
This is easy.
Those guys are dead meat,
377
00:19:05,445 --> 00:19:06,779
You know
What I'm saying, sam?
378
00:19:06,779 --> 00:19:07,914
Sit down, woody.
379
00:19:14,921 --> 00:19:17,924
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
380
00:19:17,924 --> 00:19:18,925
Whoo!
381
00:19:18,925 --> 00:19:20,293
[chanting]
Old towne tavern!
382
00:19:20,293 --> 00:19:22,562
Old towne tavern!
Old towne tavern!
383
00:19:22,562 --> 00:19:26,233
Old towne tavern!
Hey!
384
00:19:26,233 --> 00:19:27,734
Nice game, sam.
385
00:19:27,734 --> 00:19:29,902
Oh, get out of here.
We said 2 out of 3,
386
00:19:29,902 --> 00:19:31,371
And we're taking you
To the wall on this.
387
00:19:31,371 --> 00:19:32,739
That's right.
388
00:19:32,739 --> 00:19:35,041
All right,
All of you in favor of saving
389
00:19:35,041 --> 00:19:36,809
What shred of dignity
We have left
390
00:19:36,809 --> 00:19:39,946
By sneaking out of here,
Raise your hand.
391
00:19:39,946 --> 00:19:43,950
That's one...
392
00:19:43,950 --> 00:19:44,951
Carla:
Hey, how come you voted?
393
00:19:44,951 --> 00:19:46,286
You're not even playing.
394
00:19:46,286 --> 00:19:48,855
I thought we were
Ordering pizza.
395
00:19:50,457 --> 00:19:52,792
Sam, we can't quit.
396
00:19:52,792 --> 00:19:57,096
Listen, sam, um, maybe we can
Sweeten the pot a little.
397
00:19:57,096 --> 00:19:58,097
Sam: get out of here.
398
00:19:58,097 --> 00:19:59,432
No, no, no, no.
399
00:19:59,432 --> 00:20:03,770
If you guys win,
I'll set you up with tawny.
400
00:20:05,805 --> 00:20:08,741
Maybe we can talk.
401
00:20:08,741 --> 00:20:10,042
And if we win,
402
00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:13,212
You set me up with, uh...
403
00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:15,315
The sweetheart
Of sigma chi.
404
00:20:16,849 --> 00:20:18,651
Excuse me?
405
00:20:18,651 --> 00:20:21,554
I didn't date
Sigma chis.
406
00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:23,256
I was phi epsilon delta.
407
00:20:23,256 --> 00:20:25,224
You girls had
Quite a reputation.
408
00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:28,561
Yes. For academic
Achievement.
409
00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:30,830
Is that what it was?
410
00:20:30,830 --> 00:20:33,366
Tell me. Isn't it true
That "Phi epsilon" is greek
411
00:20:33,366 --> 00:20:34,901
For "Hi, sailor"?
412
00:20:36,903 --> 00:20:38,338
Give me your shoes.
413
00:20:38,338 --> 00:20:39,806
Give me your shoes!
414
00:20:39,806 --> 00:20:42,241
Hey, uh, diane,
You're bowling?
415
00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:43,576
Yes.
416
00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:45,278
Come on. What, are you
Any good at this?
417
00:20:45,278 --> 00:20:46,713
Yes!
418
00:20:46,713 --> 00:20:50,182
You whisper a word of this
To anyone who matters,
419
00:20:50,182 --> 00:20:51,984
I'll find you,
And I'll kill you.
420
00:20:53,853 --> 00:20:57,790
You think I came by
My utter contempt
For the sport by accident?!
421
00:20:57,790 --> 00:20:59,158
Hardly.
422
00:20:59,158 --> 00:21:00,393
I took it in college.
423
00:21:00,393 --> 00:21:03,129
You bowled in college?
424
00:21:03,129 --> 00:21:05,298
Yes. I needed
The p.E. Credits.
425
00:21:05,298 --> 00:21:07,667
I could read between frames,
426
00:21:07,667 --> 00:21:10,570
And you didn't have to run.
427
00:21:10,570 --> 00:21:14,607
I spent 6 semesters sweating
In a tawdry bowling alley.
428
00:21:14,607 --> 00:21:16,609
Bowlers don't sweat.
429
00:21:16,609 --> 00:21:19,946
They do when
They're wearing tweed.
430
00:21:19,946 --> 00:21:22,715
In spite of my
Complete disdain
For the experience,
431
00:21:22,715 --> 00:21:24,250
I have no intention
Of letting
432
00:21:24,250 --> 00:21:27,654
This ivy league
Lounge lizard insult me
433
00:21:27,654 --> 00:21:30,323
And my sorority sisters
434
00:21:30,323 --> 00:21:33,826
And send cheers
To ignominious defeat.
435
00:21:58,117 --> 00:21:59,752
Your mama.
436
00:22:04,023 --> 00:22:07,059
[chanting]
Chambers! Chambers!
Chambers! Chambers!
437
00:22:07,059 --> 00:22:11,464
Chambers! Chambers!
Chambers! Chambers!
438
00:22:11,464 --> 00:22:12,932
Chambers! Chambers!
439
00:22:12,932 --> 00:22:15,868
Thank you! Thank you!
Now put me down!
440
00:22:15,868 --> 00:22:18,671
I'm afraid of heights,
And someone has very cold hands.
441
00:22:18,671 --> 00:22:23,810
Ok, everybody. Line up.
I'm pouring beer!
442
00:22:23,810 --> 00:22:27,079
Hey, I gotta
Hand it to you, whitey.
443
00:22:27,079 --> 00:22:29,315
For once, you did something
That didn't make me
444
00:22:29,315 --> 00:22:32,785
Want to shove a rat
In your mouth and
Sew your lips shut.
445
00:22:34,353 --> 00:22:36,689
Such praise.
I blush.
446
00:22:36,689 --> 00:22:38,257
Congratulations,
Sam.
447
00:22:38,257 --> 00:22:40,727
Yeah, thank you.
448
00:22:41,894 --> 00:22:44,030
Uh, excuse me.
Continue celebrating.
449
00:22:44,030 --> 00:22:45,798
Huzzah huzzah.
450
00:22:49,301 --> 00:22:51,471
It was a great win,
Wasn't it, sam?
451
00:22:51,471 --> 00:22:53,205
Yeah, it was.
Thanks to you.
452
00:22:53,205 --> 00:22:55,141
Oh, don't thank me.
453
00:22:55,141 --> 00:22:59,311
I've been amply rewarded
Just seeing how well
You're taking this.
454
00:22:59,311 --> 00:23:02,014
The old sam malone
Would have died
455
00:23:02,014 --> 00:23:06,519
Before
Letting a woman salvage
His athletic pride.
456
00:23:06,519 --> 00:23:08,555
You've grown.
457
00:23:08,555 --> 00:23:11,924
You know something,
I think I have.
458
00:23:11,924 --> 00:23:13,493
Oh, by the way...
459
00:23:13,493 --> 00:23:16,929
Tawny wasn't the only one
Looking sexy out there
In bowling shoes.
460
00:23:18,965 --> 00:23:20,399
Well, thank you.
461
00:23:20,399 --> 00:23:22,869
No. Oh, no, no.
I was talking about me.
462
00:23:24,737 --> 00:23:27,206
You know, I'm surprised
You didn't mention that.
463
00:23:27,206 --> 00:23:29,241
All right, seriously.
Seriously.
464
00:23:29,241 --> 00:23:31,377
Great form out there.
465
00:23:31,377 --> 00:23:33,045
Thank you.
466
00:23:33,045 --> 00:23:35,915
Oh, no, no,
I was still talking about me.
467
00:23:35,915 --> 00:23:38,017
All right,
All jokes aside here.
468
00:23:38,017 --> 00:23:41,888
Thank you very much
For helping me beat gary.
469
00:23:41,888 --> 00:23:45,992
Well, I was getting tired
Of listening
470
00:23:45,992 --> 00:23:49,562
To some ignorant blowhard
Take himself
471
00:23:49,562 --> 00:23:52,565
And some stupid competition
So seriously.
472
00:23:52,565 --> 00:23:54,433
Boy, he really does that,
Doesn't he?
473
00:23:54,433 --> 00:23:56,936
No.
I was talking about you.
33623
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