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1
00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:05,039
Cheers is filmed before
A live studio audience.
2
00:00:05,039 --> 00:00:07,675
I'm sorry it has
To be like this.
3
00:00:07,675 --> 00:00:09,277
But why?
4
00:00:10,478 --> 00:00:12,646
Back up the garbage
Truck, cliffie.
5
00:00:12,646 --> 00:00:15,283
Entering dump city.
6
00:00:15,283 --> 00:00:17,485
Oh, hey, hey, hey.
7
00:00:17,485 --> 00:00:19,353
Come on, let's have
A little sensitivity
Here, man.
8
00:00:19,353 --> 00:00:21,055
That's a living,
Feeling human being
There
9
00:00:21,055 --> 00:00:23,657
Who's about to be
Blown out of the water.
10
00:00:23,657 --> 00:00:27,695
Coach, you want
To stand aside?
I can't see anything.
11
00:00:27,695 --> 00:00:29,530
Sam, I know
It's my fault.
12
00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:31,699
I should have said
Something sooner.
13
00:00:31,699 --> 00:00:35,703
No, I'm sorry.
It's just that I told you,
It's a rule with me.
14
00:00:35,703 --> 00:00:37,671
Now, it's the right
Thing to do.
15
00:00:37,671 --> 00:00:38,706
I think
We both realize that.
16
00:00:38,706 --> 00:00:40,441
I suppose
You're right.
17
00:00:40,441 --> 00:00:42,243
Yeah, but don't you think
That if we just worked--
18
00:00:42,243 --> 00:00:45,113
Come on. Let's
Make a clean break,
19
00:00:45,113 --> 00:00:48,549
Stop now, and we'll
Still have all those
Terrific memories.
20
00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:50,351
Now, go. Go.
21
00:00:50,351 --> 00:00:52,353
Don't make it
Any tougher.
22
00:00:52,353 --> 00:00:53,721
Good-bye, sam.
23
00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:55,489
Good-bye.
24
00:00:55,489 --> 00:00:57,325
Available in paperback
25
00:00:57,325 --> 00:01:00,094
Wherever nauseating
Trash is sold.
26
00:01:06,334 --> 00:01:08,669
* makin' your way
In the world today *
27
00:01:08,669 --> 00:01:11,705
* takes everything
You've got *
28
00:01:11,705 --> 00:01:14,375
* takin' a break
From all your worries *
29
00:01:14,375 --> 00:01:16,477
* sure would help a lot *
30
00:01:17,811 --> 00:01:21,048
* wouldn't you like
To get away? *
31
00:01:23,717 --> 00:01:25,853
* sometimes you wanna go *
32
00:01:25,853 --> 00:01:29,357
* where everybody
Knows your name *
33
00:01:31,192 --> 00:01:35,629
* and they're always
Glad you came *
34
00:01:35,629 --> 00:01:38,232
* you wanna be
Where you can see *
35
00:01:38,232 --> 00:01:40,834
* our troubles are
All the same *
36
00:01:40,834 --> 00:01:46,407
* you wanna be where
Everybody knows your name *
37
00:01:46,407 --> 00:01:48,642
* you wanna go
Where people know *
38
00:01:48,642 --> 00:01:51,412
* people are
All the same *
39
00:01:51,412 --> 00:01:52,613
* you wanna go *
40
00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:56,049
* where everybody
Knows your name *
41
00:02:13,901 --> 00:02:17,471
You want to tell me
What was wrong
With that one, sammy?
42
00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:19,407
She looked
Perfect to me.
43
00:02:19,407 --> 00:02:20,508
Body was a 10.
44
00:02:20,508 --> 00:02:21,675
So was her face.
45
00:02:21,675 --> 00:02:24,212
So was her iq.
46
00:02:24,212 --> 00:02:25,713
Sam's
Kind of gal.
47
00:02:25,713 --> 00:02:27,848
She was married.
48
00:02:27,848 --> 00:02:29,450
No?
No?
49
00:02:29,450 --> 00:02:30,818
She just told me
Just now.
50
00:02:30,818 --> 00:02:32,320
I mean, that's something
I don't do.
51
00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:33,887
I don't mess around
With married women.
52
00:02:33,887 --> 00:02:35,556
Me, either.
53
00:02:37,758 --> 00:02:40,661
It's refreshing
To know you draw
The line somewhere.
54
00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:42,796
Hey,
I draw lots of lines.
55
00:02:42,796 --> 00:02:44,465
As a matter of fact,
There are three
Categories of women
56
00:02:44,465 --> 00:02:46,434
I never
Get involved with--
57
00:02:46,434 --> 00:02:49,837
Married, underaged,
And comatose.
58
00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:51,639
He's added one.
59
00:02:53,341 --> 00:02:56,477
Sam, may I have
My purse, please?
60
00:02:56,477 --> 00:02:58,212
What are you
Grinning about?
61
00:02:58,212 --> 00:03:00,814
I was just
Confirming once again
62
00:03:00,814 --> 00:03:04,184
What a fortunate thing
It was that you and I
Split up.
63
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:05,919
Now my love life
Is stable,
64
00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:08,789
And yours
Belongs in one.
65
00:03:14,928 --> 00:03:17,231
I'll have to share
That one with frasier.
66
00:03:17,231 --> 00:03:19,333
Puns are his
Greatest pleasure.
67
00:03:19,333 --> 00:03:21,335
You mean now that
He's sleeping with you.
68
00:03:28,642 --> 00:03:34,515
Carla, that was
A mean-spirited,
Tasteless insult.
69
00:03:34,515 --> 00:03:35,983
Why aren't
You chortling?
70
00:03:35,983 --> 00:03:37,885
Leave me alone.
71
00:03:37,885 --> 00:03:40,921
I've got the worst
Toothache in the history
Of the world.
72
00:03:40,921 --> 00:03:44,525
Oh, it must be
An impacted wisdom fang.
73
00:03:44,525 --> 00:03:47,227
Die!
You're going to die!
74
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:49,597
Carla, why don't you
Do with a toothache
75
00:03:49,597 --> 00:03:51,965
What I used to do when
I played in the minors?
76
00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:52,966
What's that, coach?
77
00:03:52,966 --> 00:03:54,635
Saw a dentist.
78
00:03:57,838 --> 00:04:00,774
You're right, coach.
I'm gonna have to go
Tomorrow.
79
00:04:00,774 --> 00:04:04,545
You know,
I got my bad dental habits
From my parents.
80
00:04:04,545 --> 00:04:07,848
They taught me to brush
After every war.
81
00:04:07,848 --> 00:04:09,883
Coach, how about
One for the road, huh?
82
00:04:09,883 --> 00:04:14,388
Right. So, normie,
How's vera doing?
83
00:04:14,388 --> 00:04:15,723
Well,
She's all right.
84
00:04:15,723 --> 00:04:17,691
But she's nagging
To get a new house.
85
00:04:17,691 --> 00:04:20,828
Having any luck
In finding one?
86
00:04:20,828 --> 00:04:23,631
We got to get rid of
The old one first.
87
00:04:23,631 --> 00:04:26,700
Well, you know, norm,
I've been thinking about
Getting another place.
88
00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:28,736
It's yours.
89
00:04:28,736 --> 00:04:31,038
I'd like
To take a look
At it first.
90
00:04:31,038 --> 00:04:33,273
The man's
A shrewd buyer.
91
00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:35,643
What's wrong with
Where you're living?
92
00:04:35,643 --> 00:04:37,445
Well, nothing really, coach.
93
00:04:37,445 --> 00:04:39,580
I just thought it'd be
About time I got a place
Of my own.
94
00:04:39,580 --> 00:04:42,716
Place of your own?
Where do you live now?
95
00:04:42,716 --> 00:04:44,585
Oh, you know
Where I live.
96
00:04:44,585 --> 00:04:45,986
No, I've never
Been there.
97
00:04:45,986 --> 00:04:49,657
I, uh...Live at home.
98
00:04:49,657 --> 00:04:52,326
At home?
Whose home?
99
00:04:52,326 --> 00:04:55,729
Uh...My parents' home.
No big deal. Good night, guys.
100
00:04:55,729 --> 00:04:57,498
Parents?
Wait a minute!
101
00:04:57,498 --> 00:04:59,400
You live with
Mommy and daddy?
102
00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:01,669
I, uh...I live
With my mother.
103
00:05:01,669 --> 00:05:03,337
Well, why?
104
00:05:03,337 --> 00:05:04,938
It's not out of choice,
105
00:05:04,938 --> 00:05:07,408
It's out of more of
A sense responsibility.
106
00:05:07,408 --> 00:05:09,710
You see,
My father abandoned us
A couple years ago,
107
00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:12,746
And I've sort of become
The man of the house.
108
00:05:12,746 --> 00:05:14,482
So, you got, like,
A curfew or anything?
109
00:05:14,482 --> 00:05:16,316
Curfew! Come on, norm!
110
00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:19,920
I can stay out long
As I want as long
As I call by 10:00.
111
00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:21,622
Good night, sam!
112
00:05:21,622 --> 00:05:24,257
Good night, coach.
113
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:33,734
Oh, I'm sorry.
We're closed.
114
00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:36,103
That's ok.
I'm not a customer.
115
00:05:36,103 --> 00:05:37,905
I'm looking
For sam malone.
116
00:05:37,905 --> 00:05:39,773
Well, you found him.
I'm sam malone.
117
00:05:39,773 --> 00:05:41,775
I'm maxine's husband.
118
00:05:41,775 --> 00:05:46,447
Not the sam malone.
A sam malone.
119
00:05:46,447 --> 00:05:48,081
Not the one
You're looking for.
120
00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:49,483
He hasn't been
Around here--
121
00:05:49,483 --> 00:05:51,018
Why did you do it, sam?
122
00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:53,821
Oh, now, wait, wait.
You just listen
To me.
123
00:05:53,821 --> 00:05:56,624
I didn't know
She was married.
124
00:05:56,624 --> 00:05:58,125
She just
Told me today,
125
00:05:58,125 --> 00:06:00,127
And the second
I found out,
126
00:06:00,127 --> 00:06:01,895
I called it off,
I mean that was it.
I mean, ask her.
127
00:06:01,895 --> 00:06:04,665
I may have done a lot
Of lousy things
In my life,
128
00:06:04,665 --> 00:06:07,901
But I do not mess around
With other men's wives.
129
00:06:07,901 --> 00:06:10,871
So what are you you saying,
It's all her fault?
130
00:06:10,871 --> 00:06:13,941
No, I'm not saying
It's anybody's fault.
131
00:06:13,941 --> 00:06:17,077
It was just a big
Mistake, that's all.
132
00:06:17,077 --> 00:06:20,481
I know we've all
Been hurt by this,
133
00:06:20,481 --> 00:06:22,616
And I'm sorry.
134
00:06:25,419 --> 00:06:26,854
What am I doing?
135
00:06:26,854 --> 00:06:29,657
I mean,
Who am I kidding?
136
00:06:29,657 --> 00:06:31,459
She's a tramp.
137
00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:34,595
I mean, I think I've
Always known it,
138
00:06:34,595 --> 00:06:36,630
And I've
Never admitted it.
139
00:06:38,799 --> 00:06:40,534
You got anything
To drink?
140
00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:46,674
Yeah, I think I got
A bottle here someplace.
141
00:06:48,942 --> 00:06:50,143
Scotch all right?
142
00:06:50,143 --> 00:06:52,480
Yeah. Bring it over,
Will you?
143
00:06:54,582 --> 00:06:57,585
You're not
A mean drunk, are you?
144
00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:01,689
Just a stupid one.
By the way,
145
00:07:01,689 --> 00:07:04,725
Don't flatter yourself
Thinking that
You're the first.
146
00:07:04,725 --> 00:07:06,860
I mean,
There have been others.
147
00:07:06,860 --> 00:07:09,096
Hmm.
Just out of curiosity,
148
00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:11,131
Are they still with us?
149
00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:19,439
If she just weren't
So damn gorgeous, sam.
150
00:07:20,541 --> 00:07:22,476
Yeah, I know, I know.
151
00:07:22,476 --> 00:07:27,214
It's tough being married
To a beautiful woman.
152
00:07:27,214 --> 00:07:31,685
You know,
It's like that sweet,
Old love ballad
153
00:07:31,685 --> 00:07:33,821
That says, uh...
154
00:07:33,821 --> 00:07:37,558
"If you want to
Be happy for the rest
Of your life,
155
00:07:37,558 --> 00:07:40,761
"Never make
A pretty woman
Your wife.
156
00:07:40,761 --> 00:07:42,830
"From my personal
Point of view,
157
00:07:42,830 --> 00:07:45,866
Get an ugly girl
To marry you."
158
00:07:45,866 --> 00:07:47,467
You remember that?
159
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:48,969
Oh, I should
Have listened.
160
00:07:51,705 --> 00:07:53,874
I'm really sorry, sam.
161
00:07:53,874 --> 00:07:55,843
I've been
Out of my mind.
162
00:07:55,843 --> 00:07:58,846
Women! Look what
They bring us to.
163
00:07:58,846 --> 00:08:00,147
Oh, I tell you.
164
00:08:00,147 --> 00:08:02,182
They put you
Through hell,
Don't they?
165
00:08:02,182 --> 00:08:04,785
I get the feeling
They enjoy it, too.
166
00:08:04,785 --> 00:08:06,654
Yeah.
167
00:08:06,654 --> 00:08:11,058
Why don't I...
Why don't I just
Hold onto this, huh?
168
00:08:11,058 --> 00:08:12,760
Put it someplace
Where it's not gonna
Do any damage.
169
00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:15,696
[bang]
170
00:08:15,696 --> 00:08:18,031
Gee, I wish
I hadn't done that.
171
00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:24,905
Hey, everybody!
172
00:08:24,905 --> 00:08:26,273
Great day, isn't it?
173
00:08:26,273 --> 00:08:28,776
Carla, did you get
Your tooth fixed?
174
00:08:28,776 --> 00:08:32,546
Yep. I am never gonna be
Afraid to go to the
Dentist again.
175
00:08:32,546 --> 00:08:34,815
I found a way
To communicate
With him.
176
00:08:34,815 --> 00:08:36,249
How's that?
177
00:08:36,249 --> 00:08:39,687
Well, as he leaned
In with his drill,
178
00:08:39,687 --> 00:08:41,154
I grabbed him
179
00:08:41,154 --> 00:08:44,792
Where I knew
I could get
His attention.
180
00:08:44,792 --> 00:08:46,193
And I said,
181
00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:49,129
"We're not going
To hurt each other,
Are we?"
182
00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:52,600
All right!
183
00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:54,868
Carla.
184
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:56,670
Did that work?
185
00:08:56,670 --> 00:08:59,006
We're having
A late dinner.
186
00:09:01,575 --> 00:09:04,311
Sam! What the hell
Happened to you?
187
00:09:04,311 --> 00:09:07,247
Oh, nothin', really.
Nothin' at all.
188
00:09:07,247 --> 00:09:08,616
What do you mean,
Nothin'?
189
00:09:08,616 --> 00:09:10,651
You come limpin' in
With a cane.
190
00:09:10,651 --> 00:09:15,022
Well,
There was a little trouble
In the bar last night,
191
00:09:15,022 --> 00:09:17,057
But it was no big deal.
192
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:19,960
Well, what happened,
Sam? Come on.
193
00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:21,595
Uh...
194
00:09:26,199 --> 00:09:30,237
Well, a thief broke in,
And, uh...
195
00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:31,639
I had to run him out.
196
00:09:31,639 --> 00:09:35,575
I caught a bullet
In the, uh...Leg here.
197
00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:36,977
A bullet!
A bullet
In the leg?
198
00:09:36,977 --> 00:09:39,079
Well, no, come on,
It's no big deal.
199
00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:41,982
Let's just go back
To our business, huh?
200
00:09:44,885 --> 00:09:46,186
Good lord, sam.
201
00:09:46,186 --> 00:09:48,856
You grappled with
An armed marauder?
202
00:09:48,856 --> 00:09:52,292
You could have
Lost your life!
203
00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:54,628
Well, I guess
I could have,
204
00:09:54,628 --> 00:09:58,131
But that's something
You only think about
Afterwards really.
205
00:09:58,131 --> 00:09:59,767
Whew! Talk about guts.
206
00:09:59,767 --> 00:10:01,034
Aw, no.
207
00:10:01,034 --> 00:10:02,836
No. It had nothin'
To do with guts, norm.
208
00:10:02,836 --> 00:10:06,039
It's just reflex.
I mean, I am an athlete.
209
00:10:06,039 --> 00:10:08,676
Let's hear it
For mayday
The same, huh?
210
00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:13,647
No, no, come on.
211
00:10:13,647 --> 00:10:14,915
Will you sit down?
212
00:10:14,915 --> 00:10:16,884
No, no.
I think I'll stand.
213
00:10:16,884 --> 00:10:19,086
Gee, sam, you should
Give us some details.
214
00:10:19,086 --> 00:10:21,321
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
215
00:10:21,321 --> 00:10:22,790
Details, huh?
216
00:10:22,790 --> 00:10:24,024
Yeah.
217
00:10:24,024 --> 00:10:27,194
Well, all right.
That's easy enough.
218
00:10:27,194 --> 00:10:29,396
Well, coach, uh...
219
00:10:29,396 --> 00:10:32,232
These guys burst
Into the bar and--
220
00:10:32,232 --> 00:10:34,735
Wait. I thought
It was just one guy.
221
00:10:34,735 --> 00:10:37,404
No, I just said
One guy had a gun...
222
00:10:37,404 --> 00:10:39,372
Yeah, you did
Say that.
Yeah.
223
00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:41,041
That I saw.
224
00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:43,210
I mean,
They could have
All had guns,
225
00:10:43,210 --> 00:10:45,713
But as soon as they saw
What I did to their pal,
226
00:10:45,713 --> 00:10:47,748
They just took off
Out of there.
227
00:10:47,748 --> 00:10:49,149
Right!
228
00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:51,151
I mean, basically,
They're all cowards really.
229
00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:52,953
Amen to that,
Sammy.
230
00:10:52,953 --> 00:10:56,023
Coach, the guy was
Holding his gun on me,
231
00:10:56,023 --> 00:10:59,960
And, well, I waited
For the right moment,
232
00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:03,396
And then I just
Kicked out with my leg,
233
00:11:03,396 --> 00:11:05,165
Kind of like, uh...
Well, I guess
234
00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:08,101
The closest comparison
Would be bruce lee really.
235
00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:14,908
I made contact
With the gun,
236
00:11:14,908 --> 00:11:17,144
And he pulled
The trigger.
237
00:11:17,144 --> 00:11:19,913
The bullet caught me in the leg,
And the gun went flying,
238
00:11:19,913 --> 00:11:22,182
And the rest just
Took off out of there.
239
00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:24,051
Mayday!
Mayday!
Mayday!
240
00:11:24,051 --> 00:11:26,987
Mayday!
Mayday!
Mayday!
241
00:11:26,987 --> 00:11:28,722
Come on, you guys.
242
00:11:28,722 --> 00:11:30,991
I guess I really shouldn't
Have done it,
243
00:11:30,991 --> 00:11:35,195
But I'll tell you something, the
Next time one of those
Drugged-out punks
244
00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:38,131
Decides to break in
And take advantage
Of an honest citizen,
245
00:11:38,131 --> 00:11:39,800
They'll think
Twice about it.
246
00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:41,301
[cheering]
247
00:11:43,937 --> 00:11:45,839
You guys.
248
00:11:45,839 --> 00:11:47,407
Just like
The old days,
Huh, sam?
249
00:11:47,407 --> 00:11:49,209
Way to go,
Mayday?
250
00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:50,978
Aah!
251
00:11:52,279 --> 00:11:55,749
Well, I can still
Dance on it, huh?
252
00:11:55,749 --> 00:11:57,885
Coach, I think
There's something rotten
253
00:11:57,885 --> 00:11:59,920
In the state of denmark.
254
00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:01,989
It's all that cheese.
255
00:12:16,136 --> 00:12:19,272
Sam, when you say,
"In the leg..."
256
00:12:19,272 --> 00:12:21,408
All right, all
Right, so it wasn't
Exactly the leg.
257
00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:23,310
It was
A little higher up.
258
00:12:23,310 --> 00:12:26,814
Well, the important
Thing is that you're ok.
259
00:12:26,814 --> 00:12:29,116
But exactly
How did they
Manage to shoot you
260
00:12:29,116 --> 00:12:31,785
In the I-know-what?
261
00:12:31,785 --> 00:12:35,322
Well, you know,
When you're surrounded
By armed marauders
262
00:12:35,322 --> 00:12:37,891
With automatic weapons,
Bullets ricochet--
263
00:12:37,891 --> 00:12:39,292
Sam!
264
00:12:39,292 --> 00:12:40,760
Maxine!
265
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,495
When my husband left
Last night with a gun,
266
00:12:42,495 --> 00:12:44,331
I never ever thought--
267
00:12:44,331 --> 00:12:45,933
Of course
You didn't think.
268
00:12:45,933 --> 00:12:47,935
Why would you think
About something
269
00:12:47,935 --> 00:12:49,769
That has nothing to do
With anything that's
Ever happened to me?
270
00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:53,773
You know,
I got a question
For you, diane.
271
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:55,876
Whatever happened
To the old metric system?
272
00:12:55,876 --> 00:13:00,147
Weren't we
Supposed to change all
Those measuring cups?
273
00:13:00,147 --> 00:13:03,483
So that was
Your act of heroism,
274
00:13:03,483 --> 00:13:05,152
Mayday's
Moment of truth--
275
00:13:05,152 --> 00:13:06,453
Getting shot
In the fanny
276
00:13:06,453 --> 00:13:08,555
While in flight from
A jealous husband.
277
00:13:08,555 --> 00:13:11,391
Wait. Who said
I was runnin' away?
278
00:13:11,391 --> 00:13:15,395
How else do you
Explain the location
Of your wound?
279
00:13:15,395 --> 00:13:18,231
Well, I coulda been...
280
00:13:18,231 --> 00:13:23,470
Coming at 'im
And turned a somersault
To throw off his aim.
281
00:13:23,470 --> 00:13:26,874
You're very lucky
That you didn't get
Any brain damage.
282
00:13:28,842 --> 00:13:32,079
Ok, all right, let's get
Our facts straight here, huh?
283
00:13:33,546 --> 00:13:34,982
I did not know
She was married,
284
00:13:34,982 --> 00:13:36,483
I cut it off
As soon as I found out,
285
00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:37,918
And I wasn't
Running away.
286
00:13:37,918 --> 00:13:39,819
I was putting the gun
In my back pocket
287
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:41,321
When it went off.
288
00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:44,191
Ha ha!
289
00:13:44,191 --> 00:13:47,194
This is a perfect comment
On your lifestyle.
290
00:13:47,194 --> 00:13:49,429
Will you
Answer me one question?
What?
291
00:13:49,429 --> 00:13:50,864
When you went
To the doctor,
292
00:13:50,864 --> 00:13:53,833
Did you ask him
To get the lead out?
293
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:56,003
Frasier is gonna
Love that one,
Isn't he?
294
00:13:56,003 --> 00:13:58,338
Oh, frasier's
Weekend is made.
295
00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:01,074
Come on,
Enough jokes.
296
00:14:01,074 --> 00:14:03,276
Do me one favor.
297
00:14:03,276 --> 00:14:05,178
I will not change
Your dressing.
298
00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:09,149
No, no,
Listen. Just back me up
On this, will you?
299
00:14:09,149 --> 00:14:11,851
If everybody finds out
What really happened--
300
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:15,622
That might make you
The butt of their jokes.
301
00:14:15,622 --> 00:14:19,059
I'll save that one
For his birthday.
302
00:14:19,059 --> 00:14:21,461
Come on, just
Promise me, will you?
303
00:14:21,461 --> 00:14:24,097
Just don't
Say anything, huh?
304
00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:28,035
Sure, sam.
I won't blow your story.
305
00:14:28,035 --> 00:14:29,102
But I must warn you,
306
00:14:29,102 --> 00:14:31,171
The bigger the lie,
307
00:14:31,171 --> 00:14:34,474
The bigger the fool
One might appear
Later to be.
308
00:14:34,474 --> 00:14:37,010
Well, whatever.
309
00:14:37,010 --> 00:14:40,480
The thing is,
I did get a little
Carried away,
310
00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:42,582
But there's
No harm done,
And it's all over,
311
00:14:42,582 --> 00:14:45,052
So let's forget it.
312
00:14:45,052 --> 00:14:48,021
Sam, come quick,
There's a film crew
From the 6:00 news out here.
313
00:14:48,021 --> 00:14:50,190
Oh, gee,
How about that?
314
00:14:50,190 --> 00:14:52,292
Gee, I wonder
What they want.
315
00:14:52,292 --> 00:14:54,494
Mayday!
Mayday!
Mayday!
316
00:14:54,494 --> 00:14:56,329
Mayday!
Mayday!
Mayday!
317
00:15:07,274 --> 00:15:10,377
So, cliffie, you going
To buy norm's house or not?
318
00:15:10,377 --> 00:15:12,645
Oh, yeah.
You betcha, coach.
319
00:15:12,645 --> 00:15:14,414
Don't tell him
I said so,
320
00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:16,649
But the building inspector I
Sent down there to check it out
321
00:15:16,649 --> 00:15:19,252
Says his house is
In terrific shape.
322
00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:21,088
Coach, draft,
Please.
323
00:15:21,088 --> 00:15:24,224
Why wouldn't you
Want to tell him
A thing like that?
324
00:15:24,224 --> 00:15:26,459
Coach, the guy is
Really hot to sell.
325
00:15:26,459 --> 00:15:28,095
I'm going to
Low-ball him on this one,
326
00:15:28,095 --> 00:15:29,429
Take his shirt.
327
00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:32,299
He's gonna end up
Looking like a giant sap.
328
00:15:32,299 --> 00:15:36,536
Clifford,
I can't believe my ears.
329
00:15:36,536 --> 00:15:40,407
Gee, and I've never
Believed your hair
Or your nose.
330
00:15:40,407 --> 00:15:43,510
What does that
Leave us?
331
00:15:43,510 --> 00:15:46,946
You would
Take advantage
Of your best friend?
332
00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:49,416
Well, diane,
Friendship has its place,
333
00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:50,950
But not in
The world of business,
334
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:52,419
Especially,
In real estate
335
00:15:52,419 --> 00:15:55,022
Where it's strictly
Dog-eat-dog.
336
00:15:55,022 --> 00:15:58,125
One fido burger
Coming up.
337
00:15:59,659 --> 00:16:03,663
Norm, can I have
Your ear for a second?
Sure.
338
00:16:03,663 --> 00:16:05,665
Despite my building
Inspector's protest,
339
00:16:05,665 --> 00:16:09,202
I've decided to put
A bid on your house.
340
00:16:09,202 --> 00:16:10,970
Here it is.
341
00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:12,405
I'm afraid that's
Gonna have to be
My top offer.
342
00:16:13,673 --> 00:16:16,109
Whoa! You got
Yourself a deal.
343
00:16:16,109 --> 00:16:17,310
Hey! What?
344
00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:19,212
Yeah. Hey, everybody,
I sold the house.
345
00:16:19,212 --> 00:16:20,713
Wait till I tell vera.
346
00:16:20,713 --> 00:16:23,216
I can look at that place
With the pool room.
347
00:16:23,216 --> 00:16:25,685
Wait, normie. That's
An eight there.
348
00:16:25,685 --> 00:16:28,688
Eight? I thought
It was a two.
349
00:16:28,688 --> 00:16:30,690
At last, english-speaking
Neighbors.
350
00:16:30,690 --> 00:16:32,159
Hey, norm, there's
Something about this
House I don't know.
351
00:16:32,159 --> 00:16:33,393
Just what is it?
352
00:16:33,393 --> 00:16:35,328
The market value.
353
00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:37,997
That paper's not
Notarized there,
Norm.
354
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:40,700
It was an honor
Meeting boston's
Newest hero, sam.
355
00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:42,335
Oh, thanks.
356
00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:44,604
Anybody ever tell you
You were like gary cooper?
357
00:16:44,604 --> 00:16:46,139
Yep.
358
00:16:47,674 --> 00:16:49,209
Good night.
Great place.
359
00:16:49,209 --> 00:16:51,144
Thank you.
Thanks very much.
360
00:16:51,144 --> 00:16:52,679
What a night.
361
00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:54,681
200 bucks in tips.
362
00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:57,684
What are you gonna do
With all that money, carla?
363
00:16:57,684 --> 00:17:01,221
I'm going to spend it
All on my kids.
364
00:17:01,221 --> 00:17:03,156
Good girl.
365
00:17:03,156 --> 00:17:06,226
How many gunnysacks
And one-way tickets
366
00:17:06,226 --> 00:17:07,694
You think it will buy?
367
00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:09,629
Gee, I don't know,
Carla.
368
00:17:11,664 --> 00:17:15,302
Aw, come on, what
Are you looking at me
Like that for?
369
00:17:15,302 --> 00:17:16,369
Never mind.
370
00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:18,171
Come on.
What's the problem?
371
00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:21,608
You're living
A lie, sam.
372
00:17:21,608 --> 00:17:23,042
Oh...
373
00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:24,711
I know you won't
Listen to me,
374
00:17:24,711 --> 00:17:26,713
But our parents
Were right
375
00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:28,715
When they said
No one profits
By deceit.
376
00:17:28,715 --> 00:17:30,650
Sorry, diane.
377
00:17:30,650 --> 00:17:32,652
But tonight's receipts
Are making too much noise.
378
00:17:32,652 --> 00:17:34,187
I can't hear you.
379
00:17:35,255 --> 00:17:36,556
Ok.
380
00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:38,758
I honestly don't care
What you do,
381
00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:42,429
But I must say,
I'm a little disappointed.
382
00:17:42,429 --> 00:17:45,432
Oh. You sure you don't
Want to hang around
And get naked
383
00:17:45,432 --> 00:17:48,301
And roll around
In all my money?
384
00:17:50,737 --> 00:17:52,339
You're no fun anymore.
385
00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:01,614
Hello again, sam.
386
00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:04,684
Hello, marvin.
387
00:18:06,286 --> 00:18:07,754
How you doing?
388
00:18:07,754 --> 00:18:10,523
Well, this thing has
Turned out pretty good
For you,
389
00:18:10,523 --> 00:18:11,524
Hasn't it, sam?
Uh, yeah.
390
00:18:11,524 --> 00:18:12,759
Saw you on tv.
391
00:18:12,759 --> 00:18:14,461
Oh, yeah?
392
00:18:14,461 --> 00:18:16,095
There you were--
393
00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:19,432
The scum
Who was messing
Around with my wife.
394
00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:21,768
They're treating you
Like you're some kind of hero.
395
00:18:21,768 --> 00:18:24,237
You want to stop
Pointing guns
At me, marvin?
396
00:18:24,237 --> 00:18:25,605
Sam--
397
00:18:25,605 --> 00:18:27,374
Don't mind me.
Just carry on as if I--
398
00:18:27,374 --> 00:18:29,142
Hey, hey! You're
Not going anywhere!
399
00:18:29,142 --> 00:18:32,145
Come on, marvin.
Let her go, will you?
400
00:18:32,145 --> 00:18:34,147
What, so she can
Call the police?
401
00:18:34,147 --> 00:18:35,348
The police?
402
00:18:35,348 --> 00:18:37,717
Obviously, sir,
You don't know me.
403
00:18:37,717 --> 00:18:39,786
I strongly believe
404
00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:41,821
There is far too much
Government interference
In our lives as it is.
405
00:18:41,821 --> 00:18:43,490
All right,
Get back here.
406
00:18:43,490 --> 00:18:45,325
This is crazy!
407
00:18:45,325 --> 00:18:48,295
I was already shot
Once because of you.
I mean, we're even.
408
00:18:48,295 --> 00:18:49,629
Oh, no, sam.
409
00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:51,631
We're not even. Not yet.
410
00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:53,333
I can't sleep.
411
00:18:53,333 --> 00:18:54,634
I can't eat.
412
00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:56,336
I can't work!
413
00:18:56,336 --> 00:18:59,339
All I can think about
Is you and my wife.
414
00:18:59,339 --> 00:19:02,342
Diane,
Isn't that a run
In your stocking?
415
00:19:03,410 --> 00:19:06,346
Oh, my. You're right.
416
00:19:06,346 --> 00:19:09,449
What a nasty run.
Look at that.
417
00:19:09,449 --> 00:19:11,851
Just put some
Nail polish on it.
418
00:19:11,851 --> 00:19:14,354
I don't think
That will work
419
00:19:14,354 --> 00:19:16,356
On a run this large
420
00:19:16,356 --> 00:19:18,725
And high up
On one's thigh,
Do you, marvin?
421
00:19:18,725 --> 00:19:19,726
Look, shut up!
422
00:19:19,726 --> 00:19:21,594
He-yah! Ooh.
423
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:27,667
Just working
A cramp out.
424
00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:29,302
There you go.
425
00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:34,374
You'd better not
Try that again.
426
00:19:34,374 --> 00:19:35,375
Don't worry.
427
00:19:35,375 --> 00:19:36,676
Move. Over here.
428
00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:38,177
Excuse me, marvin.
429
00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:39,846
Uh, listen to me.
430
00:19:39,846 --> 00:19:42,782
You're having trouble
With your marriage,
Aren't you?
431
00:19:42,782 --> 00:19:47,654
Believe me,
I understand
How you feel.
432
00:19:47,654 --> 00:19:49,889
Come on,
Nobody understands
How I feel.
433
00:19:49,889 --> 00:19:52,325
I do!
434
00:19:52,325 --> 00:19:53,526
Oh, sure, sure.
435
00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:56,463
You ever been
In love with trash?
436
00:19:56,463 --> 00:19:57,630
Yes!
437
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:03,336
This disgusting pile
Right here.
438
00:20:07,407 --> 00:20:08,608
Sam?
439
00:20:11,244 --> 00:20:12,712
Exactly.
440
00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:14,414
He's trash.
441
00:20:14,414 --> 00:20:16,416
But I...
442
00:20:16,416 --> 00:20:19,352
I love him
With all my heart.
443
00:20:20,453 --> 00:20:21,621
Why?
444
00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:26,826
Because...I gotta.
445
00:20:31,398 --> 00:20:34,301
You tell me,
Why do you love her?
446
00:20:34,301 --> 00:20:37,370
Because neither one
Of us can help it.
447
00:20:37,370 --> 00:20:40,373
But I'm asking you
As a favor,
448
00:20:40,373 --> 00:20:42,375
From one sucker
To another,
449
00:20:42,375 --> 00:20:44,477
Don't waste my fella.
450
00:20:44,477 --> 00:20:46,946
Sam, is this true?
You and her--
451
00:20:46,946 --> 00:20:48,581
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Absolutely.
452
00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:52,852
I don't deserve her,
But then, who does, huh?
453
00:20:52,852 --> 00:20:54,721
And what do we get
For loving 'em?
454
00:20:54,721 --> 00:20:56,723
A punch in the face,
A kick in the gut,
455
00:20:56,723 --> 00:20:58,725
A one-way ticket
To heartbreak city.
456
00:20:58,725 --> 00:21:00,293
This guy's
A stockbroker.
457
00:21:00,293 --> 00:21:02,729
Why are you
Talkin' like this?
458
00:21:02,729 --> 00:21:04,731
You know, lady,
You're right.
459
00:21:04,731 --> 00:21:07,033
You know exactly
How I feel.
460
00:21:07,033 --> 00:21:10,036
The biggest favor
I could do for this
Lady right now
461
00:21:10,036 --> 00:21:11,504
Is shoot you.
462
00:21:11,504 --> 00:21:13,039
Way to go, sweetheart.
463
00:21:13,039 --> 00:21:15,041
Actually,
We're not that close at all.
464
00:21:15,041 --> 00:21:17,043
Just the occasional
Movie date.
465
00:21:17,043 --> 00:21:18,745
I'm not gonna
Shoot you.
You know why?
466
00:21:18,745 --> 00:21:21,681
Because it would
Hurt her more
Than it would you.
467
00:21:22,749 --> 00:21:23,950
Thank you.
468
00:21:23,950 --> 00:21:25,985
Yes. Thank you.
469
00:21:31,758 --> 00:21:33,760
Look, by the way,
470
00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:36,763
If you ever
Get tired of him,
471
00:21:36,763 --> 00:21:39,766
And you want someone
Who can give you a nice,
Quiet home life,
472
00:21:39,766 --> 00:21:41,000
Think of me.
473
00:21:42,602 --> 00:21:44,003
Mighty
Attractive offer.
474
00:21:48,775 --> 00:21:50,076
I don't
Believe this.
475
00:21:50,076 --> 00:21:52,078
You just
Saved my life
476
00:21:52,078 --> 00:21:54,481
With that
Ridiculous story.
477
00:21:54,481 --> 00:21:58,485
I'm not sure
I know what to do
To thank you.
478
00:21:58,485 --> 00:22:00,787
Well, I can think
Of something.
479
00:22:00,787 --> 00:22:02,589
But I don't think you're
Prepared to do it.
480
00:22:02,589 --> 00:22:05,091
Aw, come on,
Of course I am.
481
00:22:05,091 --> 00:22:07,093
Let's just go
In my office.
482
00:22:07,093 --> 00:22:08,795
Unfortunately,
I'm injured.
483
00:22:08,795 --> 00:22:10,730
So you're gonna
Have to do most
Of the work.
484
00:22:13,099 --> 00:22:14,801
Night, sam.
485
00:22:14,801 --> 00:22:16,102
Oh, I was kidding.
I was kidding.
486
00:22:16,102 --> 00:22:19,105
Come on. I know what
You're thinking about.
487
00:22:19,105 --> 00:22:22,108
You want me to set
The record straight
With everybody
488
00:22:22,108 --> 00:22:24,844
About what happened
The other night, right?
489
00:22:27,580 --> 00:22:29,816
All right, I will.
490
00:22:29,816 --> 00:22:31,818
As a matter of fact,
491
00:22:31,818 --> 00:22:33,820
I'm gonna call
The newspaper
Right now.
492
00:22:33,820 --> 00:22:35,788
Well, I didn't
Ask you to do that.
493
00:22:35,788 --> 00:22:37,356
I know,
494
00:22:37,356 --> 00:22:39,826
But I'm gonna
Because it's important.
495
00:22:39,826 --> 00:22:42,829
Because
Your respect for me
Is important to me.
496
00:22:42,829 --> 00:22:44,130
I always pretend it
Isn't, but the truth is,
497
00:22:44,130 --> 00:22:48,334
I want you to think
I'm a good person.
498
00:22:50,837 --> 00:22:52,071
Really, sam?
499
00:22:52,071 --> 00:22:53,305
Yeah, really.
500
00:23:00,580 --> 00:23:03,816
Sometimes
You surprise me,
Mr. Malone.
501
00:23:05,418 --> 00:23:07,687
And it's wonderful.
502
00:23:07,687 --> 00:23:08,855
Yeah.
503
00:23:10,890 --> 00:23:12,625
Hello. Uh, yeah, um...
504
00:23:12,625 --> 00:23:15,595
Can I speak to
The city desk, please?
505
00:23:15,595 --> 00:23:17,930
Uh, is anyone else in?
506
00:23:17,930 --> 00:23:20,633
Who am I
Speaking to then?
507
00:23:20,633 --> 00:23:23,936
Oh. Well,
All right, emily.
508
00:23:23,936 --> 00:23:26,639
This is sam malone,
509
00:23:26,639 --> 00:23:28,575
And I'm calling
Because I--
510
00:23:29,942 --> 00:23:31,944
You heard
About that, huh?
511
00:23:31,944 --> 00:23:33,646
Well, listen,
The thing is,
512
00:23:33,646 --> 00:23:34,947
A lot of people
513
00:23:34,947 --> 00:23:37,650
Have been making
A big deal about--
514
00:23:37,650 --> 00:23:40,653
Well, I'd like
To meet you, too.
515
00:23:40,653 --> 00:23:43,956
What time do you
Get off work?
516
00:23:43,956 --> 00:23:45,658
No. 4 a.M.
517
00:23:45,658 --> 00:23:47,894
Hey, that's
No problem for me.
518
00:23:50,963 --> 00:23:52,965
That's great. Yeah.
519
00:23:52,965 --> 00:23:54,534
Well, um...
520
00:23:55,768 --> 00:23:57,970
Afraid? Well, emily,
I'd be lying
521
00:23:57,970 --> 00:24:00,873
If I said that
I wasn't, but the...
522
00:24:00,873 --> 00:24:02,208
Emily, you're not
Married, are you?
37223
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