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1
00:00:01,835 --> 00:00:04,838
Cheers is filmed
Before a live studio audience.
2
00:00:12,913 --> 00:00:13,981
Oh, hi.
3
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:16,684
I know you're
Surprised to see me...
4
00:00:18,286 --> 00:00:21,555
But let me tell you it's taken
Every ounce of courage I have
5
00:00:21,589 --> 00:00:23,891
To show my face in here today.
6
00:00:23,924 --> 00:00:30,098
Oh, come on, we get a lot
Of funny-looking
Faces in here.
7
00:00:30,131 --> 00:00:32,233
You don't
Remember me, do you?
8
00:00:32,266 --> 00:00:32,966
Uh...
9
00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:34,568
I'm professor
Sumner sloane.
10
00:00:34,602 --> 00:00:38,906
I came in
Several months ago
With diane chambers,
11
00:00:38,939 --> 00:00:41,209
And to my shame,
I deserted her here
12
00:00:41,242 --> 00:00:43,211
To go back
To my ex-wife.
13
00:00:43,244 --> 00:00:44,778
What can I get for you?
14
00:00:46,747 --> 00:00:47,915
A glass of
White wine.
15
00:00:47,948 --> 00:00:49,117
White wine.
16
00:00:49,150 --> 00:00:51,952
Over dinner last night, a mutual
Friend of ours informed me
17
00:00:51,985 --> 00:00:53,354
That diane works here.
18
00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:54,655
Is that correct?
19
00:00:54,688 --> 00:00:57,691
Gee, I don't know.
I wasn't at the dinner.
20
00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:04,632
You slime.
21
00:01:05,866 --> 00:01:08,569
You are a total scuzzball.
22
00:01:08,602 --> 00:01:11,539
You're not fit
To live with sewer rats.
23
00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:13,141
I can't defend myself.
24
00:01:13,174 --> 00:01:16,144
Thank god.
I thought she
Was talking to me.
25
00:01:22,716 --> 00:01:25,052
Making your way in
The world today
26
00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:28,156
Takes everything
You've got
27
00:01:28,189 --> 00:01:30,858
Taking a break
From all your worries
28
00:01:30,891 --> 00:01:34,328
Sure would help a lot
29
00:01:34,362 --> 00:01:40,067
Wouldn't you like
To get away
30
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:42,069
Sometimes you wanna go
31
00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:47,475
Where everybody knows
Your name
32
00:01:47,508 --> 00:01:52,146
And they're always
Glad you came
33
00:01:52,180 --> 00:01:54,582
You wanna be where
You can see
34
00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:57,318
Our troubles
Are all the same
35
00:01:57,351 --> 00:02:02,656
You wanna be where
Everybody knows your name
36
00:02:02,690 --> 00:02:05,226
You wanna go where
People know
37
00:02:05,259 --> 00:02:07,761
People are all
The same
38
00:02:07,795 --> 00:02:11,999
You wanna go where
Everybody knows your name
39
00:02:26,780 --> 00:02:28,081
Afternoon, everybody.
40
00:02:28,115 --> 00:02:30,518
Norm!
Norm!
Norm!
41
00:02:30,551 --> 00:02:33,387
Hey, I thought you guys
Were at the baseball game.
42
00:02:33,421 --> 00:02:35,256
We left in outrage.
43
00:02:35,289 --> 00:02:36,424
They gave us
A hard time,
44
00:02:36,457 --> 00:02:38,826
Asked us to
Change our seats.
45
00:02:38,859 --> 00:02:40,761
Why'd they ask you to
Change your seats?
46
00:02:40,794 --> 00:02:42,430
Get this. We're out
In center field,
47
00:02:42,463 --> 00:02:44,432
Take off our shirts
To get some sun.
48
00:02:44,465 --> 00:02:48,469
They said the glare off norm
Was blinding the batters.
49
00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:51,972
Can I help it if I have
Alabaster skin?
50
00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:52,906
It's all right, norm.
51
00:02:52,940 --> 00:02:55,243
Baseball should be
Played at night anyway.
52
00:02:58,246 --> 00:02:59,213
Shh. Don't say anything!
53
00:03:03,284 --> 00:03:04,685
Yaah!
54
00:03:08,556 --> 00:03:09,923
Oh...
55
00:03:09,957 --> 00:03:11,259
I killed him.
56
00:03:13,427 --> 00:03:15,929
There's only one thing
That can save me.
57
00:03:15,963 --> 00:03:17,265
Ah!
58
00:03:20,067 --> 00:03:21,134
I kind of miss
The good old days
59
00:03:21,168 --> 00:03:23,170
When they threw up at
The sight of each other.
60
00:03:26,607 --> 00:03:27,475
Hello, everyone.
61
00:03:27,508 --> 00:03:29,610
Hey, guys,
What's happening?
62
00:03:29,643 --> 00:03:31,211
There's someone waiting
To see diane
63
00:03:31,245 --> 00:03:33,981
In the men's room.
64
00:03:34,014 --> 00:03:36,984
Coach, sometimes
You get your participles
65
00:03:37,017 --> 00:03:38,586
In the wrong place.
66
00:03:38,619 --> 00:03:41,655
Well, I slept
On my stomach
Last night.
67
00:03:43,190 --> 00:03:45,659
He's right, slats,
You do have company.
68
00:03:48,161 --> 00:03:49,029
Aah!
69
00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:50,030
Diane. Please.
70
00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:53,434
He's very sensitive
About his face.
71
00:03:56,770 --> 00:03:58,639
You said you'd
Be right back.
72
00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:02,042
That was a year ago.
73
00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:06,046
Well, you know,
That traffic in boston...
74
00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:08,549
Diane, I need
To talk to you.
75
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:11,552
You have every right
To say no,
76
00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:12,953
But you've always been
One to listen
77
00:04:12,986 --> 00:04:14,855
To another person's
Point of view.
78
00:04:18,225 --> 00:04:20,594
Sam, may sumner and I
Use your office
79
00:04:20,628 --> 00:04:21,595
For a few minutes?
80
00:04:22,696 --> 00:04:24,197
Of course.
81
00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:27,134
Ici.
82
00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:36,777
Don't worry
About it, sam.
83
00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:37,845
I'm not worried.
84
00:04:37,878 --> 00:04:39,880
There's no
Reason to be.
85
00:04:39,913 --> 00:04:41,615
You and diane
Have a great
Thing going.
86
00:04:41,649 --> 00:04:43,984
Besides, any girl who'd choose
That what's his name over you
87
00:04:44,017 --> 00:04:44,952
Would have to be crazy.
88
00:04:44,985 --> 00:04:46,687
Oh, yeah.
89
00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:49,022
Think he's got
Her undressed yet?
90
00:04:49,056 --> 00:04:49,457
I'm joking.
91
00:04:49,490 --> 00:04:51,459
I'm joking.
92
00:04:51,492 --> 00:04:53,694
Before you go on,
93
00:04:53,727 --> 00:04:56,964
Let me say first that
I've gotten over you.
94
00:04:56,997 --> 00:04:58,632
So I hope for your sake
You didn't come here
95
00:04:58,666 --> 00:05:00,033
To try to get me back.
96
00:05:00,067 --> 00:05:01,969
I didn't.
97
00:05:02,002 --> 00:05:02,770
Oh.
98
00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:05,072
Good.
99
00:05:05,105 --> 00:05:06,574
I'm still
With barbara,
100
00:05:06,607 --> 00:05:10,043
But I want desperately to win
You back as a friend, diane.
101
00:05:10,077 --> 00:05:11,144
I haven't been able to live
With the thought
102
00:05:11,178 --> 00:05:13,581
Of someone in the world
Hating me.
103
00:05:13,614 --> 00:05:15,383
I don't hate you,
Sumner.
104
00:05:15,416 --> 00:05:16,517
I can't even stand
The thought
105
00:05:16,550 --> 00:05:18,218
If someone in the world
Thinks I'm a...
106
00:05:18,251 --> 00:05:20,087
A creep?
107
00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:23,190
Well, you might have to
Live with that one.
108
00:05:23,223 --> 00:05:26,360
My god, even a trace
Of your laughter
109
00:05:26,394 --> 00:05:28,896
Lights up a room.
110
00:05:28,929 --> 00:05:30,664
Well, there are
Things about you
111
00:05:30,698 --> 00:05:32,165
That I've missed, too.
112
00:05:32,199 --> 00:05:35,536
Sumner,
Let's cut the crap.
113
00:05:35,569 --> 00:05:37,505
"Cut the crap"?
114
00:05:37,538 --> 00:05:40,474
What have they done
To you at this place?
115
00:05:40,508 --> 00:05:42,976
Do you want
To be forgiven?
116
00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:43,611
You're forgiven.
117
00:05:44,745 --> 00:05:47,415
Thank you, diane.
118
00:05:47,448 --> 00:05:48,949
Far more
Than I deserve.
119
00:05:50,751 --> 00:05:52,152
Now, why
Don't we both
120
00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:55,856
Just go about
Our lives?
121
00:05:55,889 --> 00:05:57,991
Well, I do have
To be running along.
122
00:05:58,025 --> 00:06:00,260
I have a class shortly.
123
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:05,265
Here I think
This thought?
124
00:06:07,568 --> 00:06:08,602
What?
125
00:06:08,636 --> 00:06:10,704
Let's have
A dinner together...
126
00:06:10,738 --> 00:06:13,006
The three of us.
127
00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:16,009
I want you
To know barbara.
128
00:06:16,043 --> 00:06:18,846
Oh, I don't want
To know barbara.
129
00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:21,715
If you want to understand me
In what I did to you,
130
00:06:21,749 --> 00:06:24,217
You must know barbara.
131
00:06:24,251 --> 00:06:26,219
I'd feel very
Uncomfortable.
132
00:06:26,253 --> 00:06:27,721
Oh, you wouldn't, diane.
133
00:06:27,755 --> 00:06:30,524
You two are
Sisters of the soul.
134
00:06:30,558 --> 00:06:33,727
You have so much to share.
135
00:06:33,761 --> 00:06:35,896
Please, diane.
136
00:06:35,929 --> 00:06:37,230
Do it for me...
137
00:06:37,264 --> 00:06:40,468
For what was once
And always will be ours.
138
00:06:42,536 --> 00:06:42,936
All right.
139
00:06:42,970 --> 00:06:44,371
Splendid!
140
00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:50,478
Oh. Are you
Seeing anyone now?
141
00:06:52,980 --> 00:06:53,847
No.
142
00:06:53,881 --> 00:06:56,784
There's no one you
Want to bring along?
143
00:06:56,817 --> 00:06:57,818
No.
144
00:06:57,851 --> 00:06:59,352
Very well,
Just the three of us.
145
00:06:59,386 --> 00:07:02,222
I'm looking
Forward to it.
146
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:03,323
Until then.
147
00:07:05,493 --> 00:07:08,161
Not mad for
Your decorator,
Sam, old man.
148
00:07:10,464 --> 00:07:11,431
Sam.
149
00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:17,337
It's ok, it's all right. It
Was just a warning shot.
150
00:07:17,370 --> 00:07:19,006
Would you believe he came
In here thinking
151
00:07:19,039 --> 00:07:21,775
He was just going to
Apologize for everything.
152
00:07:21,809 --> 00:07:24,211
Want me to punch his
Lights out for you?
153
00:07:24,244 --> 00:07:26,246
No. I think the best thing
For everyone now
154
00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:30,450
Is just to let it
Fade from our memories.
155
00:07:30,484 --> 00:07:32,285
You are the only one
156
00:07:32,319 --> 00:07:33,687
In the world
For me now.
157
00:07:33,721 --> 00:07:38,391
Oh, diane, I just remembered
My chaucer lecture friday night.
158
00:07:38,425 --> 00:07:40,093
Can you make
It saturday?
159
00:07:40,127 --> 00:07:42,696
Um...
160
00:07:42,730 --> 00:07:43,396
Sure.
161
00:07:43,430 --> 00:07:46,266
Great. See you then.
162
00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:49,202
Now before
You get angry,
163
00:07:49,236 --> 00:07:51,338
This can all be
Explained very easily.
164
00:07:51,371 --> 00:07:54,341
He wants me to meet
His wife barbara.
165
00:07:54,374 --> 00:07:56,409
It's an innocent dinner for us
To get acquainted.
166
00:07:56,443 --> 00:07:57,678
I didn't want you to
Worry about it,
167
00:07:57,711 --> 00:08:00,648
So I told a little
White lie.
168
00:08:00,681 --> 00:08:02,415
One more thing, diane.
169
00:08:02,449 --> 00:08:06,153
Since you're not
Seeing anyone,
170
00:08:06,186 --> 00:08:08,455
I know a young fellow
In the philosophy department
171
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:09,456
You might like.
172
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:11,191
No. Thank you.
173
00:08:11,224 --> 00:08:12,459
As you wish.
174
00:08:16,997 --> 00:08:18,098
This one's
A little harder.
175
00:08:18,131 --> 00:08:19,800
Oh, yeah.
176
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:21,802
Oh, sam,
Let me explain.
177
00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:23,804
Sam, will you
Listen to me?
178
00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:25,839
I'm tired of listening
To you, diane.
179
00:08:25,873 --> 00:08:30,944
You guys are just doing this
To get my hopes up, right?
180
00:08:30,978 --> 00:08:32,846
You don't understand.
181
00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:34,314
I didn't tell him
About us because
182
00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:35,883
I didn't think it was
Any of his business.
183
00:08:35,916 --> 00:08:37,851
Oh yeah? Then how come
You lied to me, huh?
184
00:08:37,885 --> 00:08:39,019
I--
185
00:08:39,052 --> 00:08:41,254
I didn't lie to you.
186
00:08:41,288 --> 00:08:43,090
I just didn't
Mention it.
187
00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:44,424
There's
A difference.
188
00:08:44,457 --> 00:08:46,794
It's a subtle difference
At best, diane.
189
00:08:48,829 --> 00:08:49,597
Cliff!
190
00:08:53,266 --> 00:08:54,668
I should have
Mentioned it. I'm sorry.
191
00:08:54,702 --> 00:08:55,736
Well, it's ok.
192
00:08:58,471 --> 00:09:00,708
Hey, I'm not an idiot.
193
00:09:00,741 --> 00:09:01,642
You didn't tell him about me
194
00:09:01,675 --> 00:09:02,810
Because you're ashamed of me.
195
00:09:02,843 --> 00:09:04,678
You're afraid I'm going to
Embarrass you or something.
196
00:09:04,712 --> 00:09:07,447
I'm not ashamed
Of you.
197
00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:08,882
Sam.
198
00:09:08,916 --> 00:09:09,950
Sam!
199
00:09:09,983 --> 00:09:11,451
Sam, you've got to
Understand.
200
00:09:11,484 --> 00:09:14,922
I have always
Been intimidated
By that man myself.
201
00:09:14,955 --> 00:09:16,790
He thinks everyone is
Beneath him.
202
00:09:16,824 --> 00:09:18,091
You make a mental mistake
Around him,
203
00:09:18,125 --> 00:09:20,127
He's merciless.
204
00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:21,695
I was trying
To protect you.
205
00:09:21,729 --> 00:09:23,463
You're saying
I'm too dumb
206
00:09:23,496 --> 00:09:25,198
To associate
With your friends
207
00:09:25,232 --> 00:09:27,400
And I think
That stinks.
208
00:09:27,434 --> 00:09:28,936
Another thing.
209
00:09:28,969 --> 00:09:31,705
You're as much of a snob
As he is, you know that?
210
00:09:33,373 --> 00:09:34,708
You're right.
211
00:09:42,983 --> 00:09:45,686
I'm going to call
Sumner right now
212
00:09:45,719 --> 00:09:48,989
And tell him that
You will be my date
Saturday night.
213
00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:51,725
You're my fella...
214
00:09:54,227 --> 00:09:55,896
And I'm proud
Of it, sam.
215
00:10:04,371 --> 00:10:07,207
Hey, sammy!
Yeah!
216
00:10:14,381 --> 00:10:15,515
Great.
217
00:10:15,548 --> 00:10:17,017
Great work, sammy.
218
00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:20,120
You just argued your way
Into spending saturday night
219
00:10:20,153 --> 00:10:22,089
With three dianes.
220
00:10:24,357 --> 00:10:25,258
She's right.
221
00:10:25,292 --> 00:10:28,361
That sumner guy is
A major brain, sam.
222
00:10:28,395 --> 00:10:30,363
He's an intellectual
Pit bull, sammy.
223
00:10:30,397 --> 00:10:32,199
If he senses fear,
He'll attack,
224
00:10:32,232 --> 00:10:34,201
Reduce you to a pile
Of blubbering flesh
225
00:10:34,234 --> 00:10:36,236
Right in front of your
Sweet pea there.
226
00:10:37,570 --> 00:10:39,406
He does seem kind of
Nasty, doesn't he?
227
00:10:39,439 --> 00:10:41,809
Ooh, he's mean, sam.
228
00:10:43,576 --> 00:10:47,681
Yeah, but it's not
Like I'm stupid, is it?
229
00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:54,621
Oh, my god!
230
00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:55,823
What am I doing here?
231
00:10:55,856 --> 00:10:57,257
I'm going to look
Like an idiot.
232
00:10:57,290 --> 00:10:59,259
Sam, it's
Going to be ok.
233
00:10:59,292 --> 00:11:02,462
Just talk about something that
You know about and they don't.
234
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:05,766
Say, something
Like your apartment.
235
00:11:05,799 --> 00:11:07,600
Coach, I don't think
236
00:11:07,634 --> 00:11:09,602
Everyone's gonna want to talk
About my apartment.
237
00:11:09,636 --> 00:11:10,904
Of course not.
238
00:11:10,938 --> 00:11:12,940
They'd look
Stupid trying.
239
00:11:14,942 --> 00:11:16,343
No. You know...
240
00:11:16,376 --> 00:11:18,278
Diane's right.
241
00:11:18,311 --> 00:11:19,747
I'm going
To embarrass her.
242
00:11:19,780 --> 00:11:20,948
Sammy, believe it or not,
243
00:11:20,981 --> 00:11:23,550
I think I have a simple
Solution to all this.
244
00:11:23,583 --> 00:11:25,786
Look, he's a literature
Professor, right?
245
00:11:25,819 --> 00:11:27,087
Yeah, right.
246
00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:29,189
War and peace is the greatest
Novel ever written.
247
00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:33,226
You read it between
Now and saturday,
248
00:11:33,260 --> 00:11:35,162
Drop a few comments
Over dinner,
249
00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:36,797
You're off
To the races.
250
00:11:36,830 --> 00:11:38,231
War and peace , this is
A good book?
251
00:11:38,265 --> 00:11:40,100
Oh yeah. Well, they say
The first 800 pages
252
00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:40,901
Are a little bit slow,
253
00:11:40,934 --> 00:11:42,369
But it shoots right off--
254
00:11:42,402 --> 00:11:44,571
Wait a second. What are
We talking about?
255
00:11:44,604 --> 00:11:45,472
I've got five days.
256
00:11:45,505 --> 00:11:46,506
How long is
This book?
257
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:48,842
Well, I've delivered a few
For the book clubs
258
00:11:48,876 --> 00:11:53,046
And it's about
3 1/2 pounds paperback.
259
00:11:54,815 --> 00:11:55,615
Forget it, sam.
260
00:11:55,648 --> 00:11:59,652
Nobody can read
Four ounces a day.
261
00:11:59,686 --> 00:12:02,122
No, listen. If this is
The best book ever written,
262
00:12:02,155 --> 00:12:03,356
Then I'm going to read it.
263
00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:04,758
Matter of fact, I'll go get
It right now.
264
00:12:04,792 --> 00:12:07,560
What was the name again?
265
00:12:07,594 --> 00:12:08,862
War and peace.
266
00:12:08,896 --> 00:12:12,032
You have to write
That down?
267
00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:13,100
And misspell it?
268
00:12:17,104 --> 00:12:19,372
The apartment, sam,
The apartment.
269
00:12:34,354 --> 00:12:35,455
[knock on door]
270
00:12:38,859 --> 00:12:40,127
Come in!
271
00:12:41,361 --> 00:12:42,830
How you doing, sammy?
272
00:12:42,863 --> 00:12:44,331
Oh, it's
You guys.
273
00:12:44,364 --> 00:12:46,867
I thought
It was diane.
274
00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:48,802
Turn on
The lights,
Will you?
275
00:12:51,004 --> 00:12:54,374
Hey. I never been
In here before.
276
00:12:54,407 --> 00:12:56,576
Classy, sam.
277
00:12:58,478 --> 00:13:00,747
Sammy, you know where I can
Get one of these?
278
00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:04,484
You know, mother's day
Is coming up.
279
00:13:04,517 --> 00:13:06,219
Would you guys give me just a
Few more minutes here?
280
00:13:06,253 --> 00:13:08,889
I almost got it
Finished.
281
00:13:08,922 --> 00:13:10,257
What time is it?
282
00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:11,825
How many beers,
Have I had, cliff?
283
00:13:11,859 --> 00:13:12,459
11.
284
00:13:12,492 --> 00:13:13,593
8:05.
285
00:13:15,762 --> 00:13:16,964
They're going to be
Here any minute.
286
00:13:18,932 --> 00:13:19,833
Oh, god!
287
00:13:19,867 --> 00:13:21,935
Cold coffee!
288
00:13:21,969 --> 00:13:24,905
Do you know I've been up
Five nights?
289
00:13:24,938 --> 00:13:26,773
Ouch!
290
00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:30,043
No, I feel great.
I really do.
291
00:13:30,077 --> 00:13:32,179
What did I stand
Up for?
292
00:13:32,212 --> 00:13:33,646
Uh...
293
00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:35,582
To hike up
Your shorts?
294
00:13:35,615 --> 00:13:36,716
No.
295
00:13:38,451 --> 00:13:40,753
Hey, sam, the
Cheesehead's here.
296
00:13:40,787 --> 00:13:41,621
Thank you, carla.
297
00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:43,456
Where's diane?
298
00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:44,992
She just went into
The ladies' room
299
00:13:45,025 --> 00:13:48,628
With a tub of mascara
And a putty knife.
300
00:13:51,198 --> 00:13:52,399
We're out of here,
Sammy.
301
00:13:52,432 --> 00:13:53,400
Night, sammy.
302
00:13:53,433 --> 00:13:54,935
Wait a second.
303
00:13:54,968 --> 00:13:57,938
Either one of you guys have
Two type b batteries?
304
00:13:57,971 --> 00:14:00,207
Uh, I've
Got one.
305
00:14:02,509 --> 00:14:03,710
Nah.
306
00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:08,081
Sumner.
307
00:14:08,115 --> 00:14:09,549
Ah, diane.
308
00:14:11,952 --> 00:14:13,286
Where's barbara?
309
00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:15,188
Barbara can't make it tonight.
She's ill.
310
00:14:15,222 --> 00:14:17,958
Well, then we'll
Make it another time.
311
00:14:17,991 --> 00:14:20,327
Nonsense.
I won't hear it.
312
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:21,861
We'll be poorer
For her absence,
313
00:14:21,895 --> 00:14:24,898
But richer
When the check comes.
314
00:14:28,068 --> 00:14:30,437
But the whole point
Was for me to meet her.
315
00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:32,372
Diane, she insists
That her frailty
316
00:14:32,405 --> 00:14:34,141
Not ruin the evening
For the rest of us.
317
00:14:34,174 --> 00:14:36,309
Isn't she magnificent?
318
00:14:36,343 --> 00:14:38,511
So I've heard.
319
00:14:38,545 --> 00:14:40,280
Sam, if you want
To have fun tonight,
320
00:14:40,313 --> 00:14:41,748
You'd better bring along
A yo-yo.
321
00:14:43,984 --> 00:14:44,884
Guys, it's in the bag.
322
00:14:44,918 --> 00:14:45,685
I finished it.
323
00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:47,820
Sammy, shoes, shoes.
324
00:14:51,758 --> 00:14:53,060
Thank you.
325
00:14:53,093 --> 00:14:55,095
There he is.
326
00:14:55,128 --> 00:14:55,362
Sam...
327
00:14:58,265 --> 00:14:59,732
You didn't shave?
328
00:14:59,766 --> 00:15:02,869
No, I needed
A new place
To scratch.
329
00:15:04,972 --> 00:15:07,807
Hey, where's
Your old lady?
330
00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:09,642
Oh, barbara's ill.
331
00:15:09,676 --> 00:15:10,978
She won't
Be able to make it.
332
00:15:11,011 --> 00:15:13,846
But, I assure you, she'll be
With us in spirit.
333
00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:17,650
We have reservations
For 8:30 at marcon robaire.
334
00:15:17,684 --> 00:15:19,886
Oh, wonderful!
Oh, good!
335
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:21,854
Hey, you know, I am really
Looking forward to this evening.
336
00:15:21,888 --> 00:15:23,256
I've been waiting for
A long time
337
00:15:23,290 --> 00:15:24,457
To sit down with this guy
338
00:15:24,491 --> 00:15:27,995
And talk a little
War and peace .
339
00:15:28,028 --> 00:15:29,329
War and peace?
340
00:15:29,362 --> 00:15:30,663
Oh, yeah.
Great book.
341
00:15:30,697 --> 00:15:31,731
Classic.
342
00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:34,167
Please! I taught a tolstoy
Seminar for six years.
343
00:15:34,201 --> 00:15:36,436
I vowed never to
Discuss him again.
344
00:15:36,469 --> 00:15:39,539
It is the most over-analyzed
Novel ever written.
345
00:15:39,572 --> 00:15:40,807
If you want to
Talk tolstoy,
346
00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:43,010
I've always thought that
Anna karenina...
347
00:15:48,548 --> 00:15:49,349
Thanks.
348
00:15:56,889 --> 00:15:59,759
Smells like something good
Cooking up there at old
Melville's today, huh?
349
00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:03,196
Yeah, I wonder
What it is, norm.
350
00:16:03,230 --> 00:16:05,999
That would be cream
Of watercress soup,
Coach...
351
00:16:06,033 --> 00:16:08,868
Followed by
Baked mussels...
352
00:16:08,901 --> 00:16:10,703
Lightly coated with
Tarragon butter,
353
00:16:10,737 --> 00:16:11,804
And topped off by...
354
00:16:13,073 --> 00:16:15,008
A fine
Raspberry torte.
355
00:16:16,409 --> 00:16:19,379
You know, fine
Gourmet cooking is, uh,
356
00:16:19,412 --> 00:16:21,548
Truly one of the greatest
Pleasures of life.
357
00:16:21,581 --> 00:16:23,516
Absolutely.
358
00:16:25,085 --> 00:16:28,321
Coach, what's
The expiration
Date on these?
359
00:16:36,529 --> 00:16:39,299
Yesterday.
360
00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:40,233
We'd better hurry.
361
00:16:43,703 --> 00:16:45,805
Non, j'ai dit,
"Si vous parlez
Lentement,
362
00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:47,407
Je peut
Vous comprendre."
363
00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:56,383
Ah, sam, how about
Some after-dinner drinks?
364
00:16:58,585 --> 00:17:00,987
Oh...English.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
365
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:02,622
What did you say?
366
00:17:02,655 --> 00:17:03,856
After-dinner drinks?
367
00:17:03,890 --> 00:17:04,857
Fine.
368
00:17:04,891 --> 00:17:05,858
A cognac.
369
00:17:05,892 --> 00:17:06,859
Deux.
370
00:17:06,893 --> 00:17:08,695
Deux.
371
00:17:10,330 --> 00:17:11,431
Deux.
372
00:17:15,468 --> 00:17:16,969
How was dinner, sammy?
373
00:17:17,003 --> 00:17:18,338
Hi, sam.
374
00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:19,339
Great.
375
00:17:19,372 --> 00:17:21,040
Great dinner.
376
00:17:21,074 --> 00:17:22,175
Food was french.
377
00:17:22,209 --> 00:17:24,377
Conversation was greek.
378
00:17:24,411 --> 00:17:26,079
I spent the whole
Evening pretending
379
00:17:26,113 --> 00:17:27,680
I knew what they
Were talking about
380
00:17:27,714 --> 00:17:29,682
Nodding my head
Like an idiot.
381
00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:30,383
I see.
382
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:35,788
Hey, uh, sammy,
383
00:17:35,822 --> 00:17:37,824
How about I throw
The scuzzball
Out of here?
384
00:17:37,857 --> 00:17:40,026
Nah. Diane
Would be furious.
385
00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:43,696
I was talking
About diane.
386
00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:46,099
Sam, I don't think I'd leave
Those two together for very long
387
00:17:46,133 --> 00:17:46,933
If I were you.
388
00:17:48,935 --> 00:17:51,138
Oh yeah, I haven't seen diane
Having so much fun
389
00:17:51,171 --> 00:17:52,639
In a long time.
390
00:17:52,672 --> 00:17:54,107
Thank you, fellas.
391
00:17:56,008 --> 00:17:57,744
The only verifiable proof
392
00:17:57,777 --> 00:17:59,979
Of the existence
Of a supreme being--
393
00:18:00,012 --> 00:18:01,548
Oh, what are we talking
About here?
394
00:18:01,581 --> 00:18:03,650
We're talking about god.
395
00:18:03,683 --> 00:18:06,219
The only verifiable proof of
The existence of a supreme
Being--
396
00:18:06,253 --> 00:18:07,620
What about god?
397
00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:11,658
Well, it's
Rather involved.
398
00:18:11,691 --> 00:18:14,327
Oh, that's ok. I like involved.
Fire away. Go ahead.
399
00:18:14,361 --> 00:18:15,628
Sumner was
Just saying
400
00:18:15,662 --> 00:18:18,165
The early mystics
Perceived god
401
00:18:18,198 --> 00:18:21,334
Without subjecting him
To tangible proof.
402
00:18:25,071 --> 00:18:26,339
Well, you know what I
Think about that?
403
00:18:26,373 --> 00:18:27,106
What, sam?
404
00:18:34,481 --> 00:18:35,948
What is your problem?
405
00:18:35,982 --> 00:18:37,817
I don't have--
Yeah, I do have a problem.
406
00:18:37,850 --> 00:18:40,320
My problem is that I have
Not been a part
407
00:18:40,353 --> 00:18:44,224
Of any conversation that
You've had tonight.
408
00:18:44,257 --> 00:18:47,160
I tried several times
To include you.
409
00:18:47,194 --> 00:18:49,596
No. No. No. I don't think
"Wrong fork, sam"
410
00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:50,597
And "Don't
Spit that out"
411
00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:52,899
Are my idea
Of conversation.
412
00:18:56,102 --> 00:18:57,770
That's not fair, sam.
413
00:18:57,804 --> 00:18:59,872
I think we tried several times
To solicit your opinion,
414
00:18:59,906 --> 00:19:02,375
But none
Was forthcoming.
415
00:19:02,409 --> 00:19:06,145
Well, you know why that was?
Because I didn't have one.
416
00:19:06,179 --> 00:19:08,481
What do you
Think of that?
417
00:19:08,515 --> 00:19:09,682
Or maybe I had one
418
00:19:09,716 --> 00:19:11,251
And I didn't want to
Waste it on you.
419
00:19:15,722 --> 00:19:16,689
What are you
Trying to say?
420
00:19:16,723 --> 00:19:18,991
I'm not trying to say anything.
I'm saying it.
421
00:19:19,025 --> 00:19:21,294
You know, you and I are a joke,
Diane.
422
00:19:21,328 --> 00:19:22,762
You and sumner are a joke, too,
423
00:19:22,795 --> 00:19:24,997
But at least
You're the same joke.
424
00:19:25,031 --> 00:19:26,299
I may be stupid about
A lot of things,
425
00:19:26,333 --> 00:19:27,367
But I do know some things.
426
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:29,936
And I know when two people
Do not belong together,
427
00:19:29,969 --> 00:19:31,904
And you and I do not
Belong together.
428
00:19:31,938 --> 00:19:34,441
Sam, sit down. You're
Creating a stir.
429
00:19:34,474 --> 00:19:36,443
Hey, come on.
430
00:19:36,476 --> 00:19:38,278
I know what's been going
On all evening.
431
00:19:38,311 --> 00:19:40,480
I mean, this stuff about
Barbara being sick
432
00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:42,081
Is a bunch of baloney.
433
00:19:42,114 --> 00:19:44,851
You just set it up here
To get your big fan back.
434
00:19:44,884 --> 00:19:48,154
Well, you got her.
Way to go, guy.
435
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:48,855
Sam.
436
00:19:48,888 --> 00:19:50,790
No, that's ok.
437
00:19:50,823 --> 00:19:52,191
I see it all
Very clearly now.
438
00:19:52,225 --> 00:19:53,793
I got you on
The rebound.
439
00:19:53,826 --> 00:19:57,397
You were just slumming with
Me between ph.Ds.
440
00:19:57,430 --> 00:20:00,700
Well, he's come for you.
Go with him.
441
00:20:00,733 --> 00:20:02,602
I'll tell you
Something else too.
442
00:20:02,635 --> 00:20:05,037
Before I read war and peace
Again in 5 days
443
00:20:05,071 --> 00:20:06,506
Just to impress
Some broad,
444
00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:09,276
It's gonna be a cold
Day in minsk.
445
00:20:22,054 --> 00:20:25,024
I have to
Apologize for sam
446
00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:29,095
For that totally
Unfounded accusation.
447
00:20:29,128 --> 00:20:30,830
No, diane,
He's more perceptive
448
00:20:30,863 --> 00:20:32,532
Than I gave
Him credit for.
449
00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:37,604
What are you saying?
450
00:20:37,637 --> 00:20:38,771
I did come back to see
451
00:20:38,805 --> 00:20:40,673
If there might be
One spark left
452
00:20:40,707 --> 00:20:41,941
Of that
Brilliant fire
453
00:20:41,974 --> 00:20:44,677
That streaked
Across the sky
Like a meteor.
454
00:20:46,746 --> 00:20:47,614
Barbara and I had a
455
00:20:47,647 --> 00:20:49,816
Parting of the ways
Several weeks ago.
456
00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:53,620
So sam was right.
457
00:20:53,653 --> 00:20:56,323
Forget sam. Isn't it
Obvious after tonight
458
00:20:56,356 --> 00:20:58,791
That you and I
Have something special?
459
00:20:58,825 --> 00:21:01,694
Diane, I may not be perfect.
460
00:21:01,728 --> 00:21:03,330
Then again, I may.
461
00:21:04,897 --> 00:21:06,799
The point is--
462
00:21:06,833 --> 00:21:07,800
Can you
Honestly say
463
00:21:07,834 --> 00:21:11,270
You belong more in his world
Than in mine?
464
00:21:26,853 --> 00:21:29,021
Ah, so you've come
To say goodbye,
465
00:21:29,055 --> 00:21:32,258
Or as the french
Say--ta ta.
466
00:21:34,461 --> 00:21:39,065
No. I've come to tell you
That sumner has gone.
467
00:21:40,433 --> 00:21:41,968
He has?
468
00:21:42,001 --> 00:21:43,903
Carla threw him out.
469
00:21:45,838 --> 00:21:46,873
Oh, come on,
470
00:21:46,906 --> 00:21:49,976
You don't mean to say that
You chose me over him?
471
00:21:50,009 --> 00:21:52,311
I flipped a coin.
472
00:21:52,345 --> 00:21:54,146
You let a coin
Decide this?
473
00:21:54,180 --> 00:21:56,683
Yeah. I told sumner
474
00:21:56,716 --> 00:21:59,886
Heads, I was going to
Walk in here to you.
475
00:21:59,919 --> 00:22:02,522
Tails, I was going to run
In here to you.
476
00:22:04,624 --> 00:22:06,759
Well, you're nuts,
You know that?
477
00:22:06,793 --> 00:22:10,096
I mean the guy is--is
Brilliant, charming.
478
00:22:10,129 --> 00:22:11,831
He's sophisticated.
479
00:22:11,864 --> 00:22:13,900
Yeah, if you hurry,
He's yours.
480
00:22:20,907 --> 00:22:23,743
Why'd you pick me?
481
00:22:23,776 --> 00:22:26,345
You read
War and peace.
482
00:22:26,379 --> 00:22:27,747
So did he.
483
00:22:27,780 --> 00:22:29,516
You did it for me.
484
00:22:31,050 --> 00:22:34,120
I think it was
Harder for you.
485
00:22:35,655 --> 00:22:39,626
Call it a hunch.
486
00:22:39,659 --> 00:22:41,961
It was no day
At the beach,
I'll tell you.
487
00:22:43,195 --> 00:22:44,296
Sam.
488
00:22:47,534 --> 00:22:48,968
There's only one thing
More romantic
489
00:22:49,001 --> 00:22:52,204
Than you reading
War and peace for me.
490
00:22:52,238 --> 00:22:53,473
What?
491
00:22:53,506 --> 00:22:56,476
You reading
War and peace to me.
492
00:22:56,509 --> 00:22:58,377
Oh, yeah?
493
00:22:58,411 --> 00:23:02,381
Well, it just so happens that
I have a copy right here.
494
00:23:02,415 --> 00:23:04,817
Let's sit down
Right here,
495
00:23:04,851 --> 00:23:07,086
And I'll read to you.
496
00:23:07,119 --> 00:23:08,287
Oh, that's nice.
497
00:23:09,522 --> 00:23:10,957
Here we go.
498
00:23:12,692 --> 00:23:14,627
Let's go
See the movie.
499
00:23:15,862 --> 00:23:17,530
There's a movie?!
500
00:23:17,564 --> 00:23:22,602
Cliff! I'll kill him!
Cliff! I'll kill him!
34125
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