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1
00:00:01,702 --> 00:00:05,806
Cheers is filmed before a live
Studio audience.
2
00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:07,041
Excuse me, cutie.
3
00:00:08,809 --> 00:00:13,314
Cutie? Who do you
Think you're talking to?
4
00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:14,315
Her.
5
00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:15,616
Better be.
6
00:00:17,151 --> 00:00:18,018
Well, as long as
You're here.
7
00:00:18,052 --> 00:00:20,521
I ain't here.
8
00:00:20,554 --> 00:00:21,655
What's the matter?
9
00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:25,059
Did we get up on the wrong side
Of the web this morning?
10
00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:29,697
I hate it when they call me
Cutie.
11
00:00:29,730 --> 00:00:31,699
Well I do know how you feel,
12
00:00:31,732 --> 00:00:36,470
Earlier tonight a customer had
The effrontery to refer to me as
Honey.
13
00:00:36,504 --> 00:00:39,940
But that makes sense. Honey is
Bee barf.
14
00:00:45,179 --> 00:00:47,181
[snort]
15
00:00:47,215 --> 00:00:49,583
Does that snort mean
We were amused?
16
00:00:49,617 --> 00:00:53,787
No, no. Definitely not. That was
A snort of disapproval.
17
00:00:58,992 --> 00:01:04,565
* makin' your way
In the world today takes
Everything you've got *
18
00:01:04,598 --> 00:01:07,235
* takin' a break
From all your worries *
19
00:01:07,268 --> 00:01:10,704
* sure would help a lot
20
00:01:10,738 --> 00:01:14,275
* wouldn't you like
To get away? *
21
00:01:16,610 --> 00:01:18,546
* sometimes you wanna go
22
00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:23,917
* where everybody knows your
Name *
23
00:01:23,951 --> 00:01:28,489
* and they're always glad you
Came *
24
00:01:28,522 --> 00:01:30,991
* you wanna be where you can see
25
00:01:31,024 --> 00:01:33,694
* our troubles
Are all the same *
26
00:01:33,727 --> 00:01:38,966
* you wanna be where everybody
Knows your name *
27
00:01:38,999 --> 00:01:41,535
* you wanna go where people know
28
00:01:41,569 --> 00:01:44,138
* people are all the same
29
00:01:44,172 --> 00:01:49,210
* you wanna go where
Everybody knows your name *
30
00:02:05,659 --> 00:02:06,860
Afternoon, everybody.
31
00:02:06,894 --> 00:02:08,929
Norm!
Norm!
Norman!
32
00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:10,030
How's life, norm?
33
00:02:10,063 --> 00:02:11,499
Ask the man
Who's got one.
34
00:02:14,168 --> 00:02:16,069
Ahh, here's mine now.
35
00:02:16,103 --> 00:02:17,671
Ahh,
About that, norm.
36
00:02:17,705 --> 00:02:19,673
Sammy raised
The price to the draft.
37
00:02:19,707 --> 00:02:21,409
Hey, I was going to tell him,
Cliff.
38
00:02:21,442 --> 00:02:24,645
Yeah, but you would have found
Some way to cushion the blow,
Sammy.
39
00:02:24,678 --> 00:02:27,915
Sure, sam. Why not?
It's get norm year.
40
00:02:27,948 --> 00:02:29,283
Join the fun.
41
00:02:29,317 --> 00:02:31,452
Hey, come on. It's only a
Quarter.
42
00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:34,455
Only a quarter. That's easy for
You to say.
43
00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:35,589
Maybe this will
Change your tune.
44
00:02:35,623 --> 00:02:37,458
Sam, watch it, he's going
For his gun.
45
00:02:39,627 --> 00:02:41,895
It's just
My calculator,
Coach.
46
00:02:41,929 --> 00:02:43,931
I'm going to have to
Figure out
47
00:02:43,964 --> 00:02:44,865
How much
I can drink,
48
00:02:44,898 --> 00:02:47,601
And still stay within
My suds allowance.
49
00:02:50,271 --> 00:02:51,739
What do you got?
50
00:02:51,772 --> 00:02:55,276
I'm going to have to
Cut back 8.7%.
51
00:02:55,309 --> 00:02:59,046
It comes out
To one beer
Every half hour.
52
00:03:01,449 --> 00:03:04,318
Guess I'm going to have to
Drink a little more slowly.
53
00:03:10,391 --> 00:03:12,326
Slowing down
Isn't so bad.
54
00:03:14,094 --> 00:03:15,463
Sam, I've got to tell you
55
00:03:15,496 --> 00:03:18,332
You've got one of
The cutest cocktail
Waitresses I've ever seen.
56
00:03:18,366 --> 00:03:21,835
Oh, stop.
I'm blushing.
57
00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:24,272
I meant you .
58
00:03:24,305 --> 00:03:25,973
So what.
59
00:03:26,006 --> 00:03:26,707
I'm sorry.
60
00:03:26,740 --> 00:03:28,141
You sure are.
61
00:03:30,778 --> 00:03:33,113
Romance is
In the air, sam.
62
00:03:33,146 --> 00:03:36,417
Oh I guess...I'm a little busy
Here, but I suppose...
63
00:03:36,450 --> 00:03:37,885
Oh, sam!
64
00:03:41,955 --> 00:03:46,226
If you could see
Past your codpiece...
65
00:03:47,795 --> 00:03:49,530
You'd notice
That I was referring
66
00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:51,865
To that gentleman
Right over there.
67
00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:52,733
Hank?
68
00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:55,235
Yes. He's been watching
Carla all week.
69
00:03:55,269 --> 00:03:58,606
Haven't you seen how he
Gives her those moony-eyed
Looks?
70
00:03:58,639 --> 00:04:01,442
It's almost embarrassing. If he
Were anymore overcome
71
00:04:01,475 --> 00:04:04,378
With desire, there would be
Drool on his chin.
72
00:04:04,412 --> 00:04:08,849
Excuse me.
What were you saying?
73
00:04:08,882 --> 00:04:10,284
Well, for whatever reason,
74
00:04:10,318 --> 00:04:12,386
He's attracted
To carla,
75
00:04:12,420 --> 00:04:14,655
But he doesn't seem to be
Able to get started.
76
00:04:14,688 --> 00:04:15,723
I think I should help him.
77
00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:17,591
I think you shouldn't.
78
00:04:17,625 --> 00:04:19,627
We'll compromise.
I'll help him.
79
00:04:19,660 --> 00:04:21,128
I knew we could
Work this out.
80
00:04:28,035 --> 00:04:29,303
Excuse me.
81
00:04:29,337 --> 00:04:30,971
I'm diane chambers.
82
00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:32,973
Hello.
Henry zenzola.
83
00:04:33,006 --> 00:04:35,376
Henry, nice to meet you.
Do you mind if I sit down for a
Second?
84
00:04:35,409 --> 00:04:36,610
No. Please.
85
00:04:37,845 --> 00:04:41,148
Henry, I want to put it
Right on the line.
86
00:04:41,181 --> 00:04:43,216
How do you feel
About carla?
87
00:04:43,250 --> 00:04:44,885
You mean the waitress
With the foul mouth,
88
00:04:44,918 --> 00:04:48,021
Nasty disposition and what looks
To be a real mean wallop?
89
00:04:48,055 --> 00:04:48,822
That's the one.
90
00:04:48,856 --> 00:04:52,092
She's the hottest
Thing walking.
91
00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:56,096
Do you like to get to know her?
I think I can arrange it.
92
00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:57,431
You think so?
93
00:04:57,465 --> 00:04:58,699
I've been trying to get to her
All week.
94
00:04:58,732 --> 00:05:00,868
She acts like
I'm contagious.
95
00:05:00,901 --> 00:05:04,738
Has she actually made
Any retching noises?
96
00:05:04,772 --> 00:05:05,706
No.
97
00:05:05,739 --> 00:05:06,707
You're in.
98
00:05:07,841 --> 00:05:10,310
I'll be right back.
99
00:05:10,344 --> 00:05:12,446
What a nice person.
100
00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:13,814
Is she always
Like that?
101
00:05:13,847 --> 00:05:14,948
Uh, yeah. Yeah.
102
00:05:14,982 --> 00:05:17,050
Coach, give me a beer.
103
00:05:17,084 --> 00:05:21,254
Hey, norm your getting a little
Bit ahead of your one beer/
Half hour schedule,
104
00:05:21,288 --> 00:05:22,089
Aren't you?
105
00:05:22,122 --> 00:05:24,057
No, no, cliff. I'm on
London time.
106
00:05:24,091 --> 00:05:25,192
God save the queen.
107
00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:30,364
His name is henry.
He's interested in you .
108
00:05:30,398 --> 00:05:31,331
So what?
109
00:05:31,365 --> 00:05:32,800
I think you
Should go over and talk to him.
110
00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:33,767
Well, I don't.
111
00:05:33,801 --> 00:05:35,168
Why?
112
00:05:35,202 --> 00:05:38,338
Because if he's interested in
Me, there's something wrong with
Him.
113
00:05:38,372 --> 00:05:41,542
Carla, I assure you
He's perfectly charming.
114
00:05:41,575 --> 00:05:43,877
I think he's kind of attractive,
Too, don't you?
115
00:05:43,911 --> 00:05:47,548
Yeah, as cue balls go,
He's a looker.
116
00:05:47,581 --> 00:05:49,149
Don't ask me why,
117
00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:52,352
But for some reason,
Any guy who I'm interested in
Or who's interested in me
118
00:05:52,386 --> 00:05:56,424
Always turns out to have
Something very seriously wrong
With him.
119
00:05:56,457 --> 00:05:58,559
Carla, I can see
Why you think that,
120
00:05:58,592 --> 00:06:01,228
But you have to stop feeling
That your undesirable.
121
00:06:01,261 --> 00:06:03,230
Are you kidding?
122
00:06:03,263 --> 00:06:06,500
I'm too desirable.
123
00:06:06,534 --> 00:06:07,935
I'm a vermin magnet.
124
00:06:12,740 --> 00:06:15,175
Come on, carla. This guy's
Not like that.
125
00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:18,446
He's attractive,
Charming,
126
00:06:18,479 --> 00:06:20,213
Intelligent,
Well-dressed,
127
00:06:20,247 --> 00:06:22,816
And opposites attract,
So go for him.
128
00:06:22,850 --> 00:06:25,486
Yeah, carla. He's always talking
About the sox.
129
00:06:25,519 --> 00:06:27,120
He probably knows
Yaz personally.
130
00:06:27,154 --> 00:06:28,055
Yaz.
131
00:06:28,088 --> 00:06:30,123
Yaz.
132
00:06:30,157 --> 00:06:32,626
Yeah?
133
00:06:32,660 --> 00:06:33,994
Ok. I'll
Talk to him.
134
00:06:34,027 --> 00:06:35,529
Oh, goody.
135
00:06:36,764 --> 00:06:38,265
Just long enough
To find out
136
00:06:38,298 --> 00:06:41,435
What's wrong
With this loser.
137
00:06:41,469 --> 00:06:43,771
I like a person
With an open mind. Huh?
138
00:06:46,974 --> 00:06:48,108
You hank?
139
00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:50,110
Yeah.
How do you do?
140
00:06:50,143 --> 00:06:53,080
Shut up and answer
A few questions.
141
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:57,785
First of all, where did
You come from all of a sudden?
142
00:06:57,818 --> 00:06:59,487
I never saw you
In here before.
143
00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:01,154
I don't
Really get out that much.
144
00:07:01,188 --> 00:07:02,022
He's married.
145
00:07:02,055 --> 00:07:04,525
No. No. Carla.
I'm single.
146
00:07:07,995 --> 00:07:09,630
You ever been married?
147
00:07:09,663 --> 00:07:10,564
No.
148
00:07:10,598 --> 00:07:11,732
Gay as a goose.
149
00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:13,467
No. No.
150
00:07:13,501 --> 00:07:15,669
Carla.
151
00:07:15,703 --> 00:07:16,403
What?
152
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:18,038
I like women.
153
00:07:18,071 --> 00:07:19,607
Some women very much.
154
00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:21,775
Hooker bait!
155
00:07:21,809 --> 00:07:23,143
Carla...
156
00:07:23,176 --> 00:07:25,178
I don't mind being
Put through my paces.
157
00:07:25,212 --> 00:07:29,216
In fact, uh, I'm always one to
Enjoy a good game.
158
00:07:29,249 --> 00:07:30,918
I hope this one
Gets better.
159
00:07:35,355 --> 00:07:38,626
Yeah. Yeah.
This proves nothing.
160
00:07:38,659 --> 00:07:41,328
He's great,
And it's killing you.
161
00:07:41,361 --> 00:07:43,096
I admit he's tough,
162
00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:44,331
But I'll crack him.
163
00:07:46,734 --> 00:07:48,902
Come on. We're going
For a cup of coffee on you.
164
00:07:48,936 --> 00:07:49,637
Fine.
165
00:07:49,670 --> 00:07:51,371
Sam, I'm
Taking a break.
166
00:07:51,404 --> 00:07:52,372
You got a criminal
Record?
167
00:07:52,405 --> 00:07:53,173
No.
168
00:07:53,206 --> 00:07:54,107
Any mental illness
In the family?
169
00:07:54,141 --> 00:07:55,442
Artificial body parts?
170
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:56,009
No.
171
00:07:56,043 --> 00:07:57,511
Okay. Open your mouth.
172
00:08:01,615 --> 00:08:05,152
So who's the greatest matchmaker
In the world?
173
00:08:05,185 --> 00:08:06,720
Yeah, yeah.
174
00:08:06,754 --> 00:08:07,855
Come on. Say it, sam.
175
00:08:07,888 --> 00:08:09,056
I'm not going to say it.
176
00:08:09,089 --> 00:08:10,624
Well, come on, sam. You've
Got to admit
177
00:08:10,658 --> 00:08:14,261
Carla and hank have been an item
Ever since they went out to
Dinner.
178
00:08:14,294 --> 00:08:16,864
Oh, I hate
To see that.
179
00:08:16,897 --> 00:08:19,733
You think carla's
Making a mistake there, norm?
180
00:08:19,767 --> 00:08:23,303
No. I just had
My last beer of the 20th
Century.
181
00:08:27,775 --> 00:08:28,676
Hi, everybody.
182
00:08:28,709 --> 00:08:29,810
Hey!
Hey!
183
00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:31,011
We just came
From the game.
184
00:08:31,044 --> 00:08:33,581
We killed the oilers,
28-3.
185
00:08:33,614 --> 00:08:35,716
Whoa!
186
00:08:35,749 --> 00:08:37,951
And hank has the greatest
Season seats.
187
00:08:37,985 --> 00:08:40,520
Yeah. Spitting distance
From the visitors' bench.
188
00:08:43,724 --> 00:08:45,292
Listen, hank.
Thanks a lot.
189
00:08:45,325 --> 00:08:46,794
I had a great time.
190
00:08:46,827 --> 00:08:50,664
Yeah, I had a great time,
Too, carla.
191
00:08:50,698 --> 00:08:52,766
You want to meet later for a
Light supper?
192
00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:55,435
I'm sorry. I forgot
To tell you before.
193
00:08:55,468 --> 00:08:57,437
We're through.
Beat it.
194
00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:05,445
Carla.
195
00:09:05,478 --> 00:09:07,180
What did you
Find wrong with him?
196
00:09:07,214 --> 00:09:08,248
Nothing.
197
00:09:08,281 --> 00:09:09,116
Well, then--
198
00:09:09,149 --> 00:09:11,685
Look, I do
Not want to talk about it.
199
00:09:11,719 --> 00:09:13,621
I want to be left alone.
200
00:09:13,654 --> 00:09:15,288
Sam, what do you need
From your office?
201
00:09:15,322 --> 00:09:16,023
Nothing.
202
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:17,157
I'll go see if
You have any.
203
00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:27,567
What happened?
204
00:09:27,601 --> 00:09:28,669
I don't know.
205
00:09:28,702 --> 00:09:31,471
We were getting along so great.
206
00:09:31,504 --> 00:09:33,440
Hank, sit down.
207
00:09:33,473 --> 00:09:34,875
Coach,
Pour him a beer.
208
00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:37,044
I'm going to go see
If carla needs help
209
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:38,211
Finding that nothing.
210
00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:42,549
Hey, hank.
211
00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:45,052
You know, when I'm
Really kind of depressed,
212
00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:47,788
I usually like
To buy a beer
213
00:09:47,821 --> 00:09:51,224
For a friend who's a little
Behind on his beer budget.
214
00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:54,728
Well, I'm not really feeling
All that depressed.
215
00:09:56,263 --> 00:09:57,530
You're not?
216
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:01,568
I mean, you fall really hard
For this girl.
217
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:03,303
You think you got her
Where you want her.
218
00:10:03,336 --> 00:10:06,439
Then all of a sudden, bang! She
Cuts you off at the kneecaps
In front of a room full--
219
00:10:06,473 --> 00:10:07,507
Set him up.
220
00:10:07,540 --> 00:10:10,110
Thank you. This'll help...
This is going to help.
221
00:10:12,145 --> 00:10:14,014
I want to be alone,
Sam.
222
00:10:14,047 --> 00:10:15,282
I'll only be a second.
223
00:10:15,315 --> 00:10:17,517
I've got something very
Important to do in there.
224
00:10:17,550 --> 00:10:20,320
I have to fix
The...Immediately.
225
00:10:35,736 --> 00:10:38,205
Ok. All right.
All right.
226
00:10:38,238 --> 00:10:39,973
What are you
Doing here, sam?
227
00:10:40,007 --> 00:10:43,811
I just wanted to come in and see
If you wanted to talk. That's
All.
228
00:10:43,844 --> 00:10:45,545
I don't.
229
00:10:45,578 --> 00:10:46,413
Ok.
230
00:10:49,850 --> 00:10:50,751
Look, sam.
231
00:10:50,784 --> 00:10:53,453
This guy is perfect
In every other way.
232
00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:56,924
The only thing left is that he
Must be lousy in bed.
233
00:10:58,325 --> 00:10:59,927
Who needs it?
234
00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:02,262
You know,
From over here
235
00:11:02,295 --> 00:11:05,766
It seems like you're just
Afraid to go with this.
236
00:11:05,799 --> 00:11:07,634
Being vulnerable.
237
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:09,402
Vulnerable?
238
00:11:09,436 --> 00:11:12,205
It's just a word
I picked up somewhere.
239
00:11:16,076 --> 00:11:19,346
The only thing I'm scared of
Is that if I go to bed with him,
240
00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:23,050
He's going to be so crazed
With desire, I'll never get rid
Of him.
241
00:11:23,083 --> 00:11:25,052
Aah, carla. That's not what
You're afraid of
242
00:11:25,085 --> 00:11:28,155
You're afraid that you're going
To fall for this guy.
243
00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:30,423
No. I'm not going to
Fall for this guy.
244
00:11:30,457 --> 00:11:33,761
I've already
Fallen for this guy.
245
00:11:33,794 --> 00:11:37,998
Aha. And now you're afraid
He's going to turn into a jerk,
Right?
246
00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:40,467
No, smart guy,
He's already a jerk.
247
00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:42,102
Why is he a jerk?
248
00:11:42,135 --> 00:11:43,703
Because
He's dishonest.
249
00:11:43,737 --> 00:11:45,438
Why is he dishonest?
250
00:11:45,472 --> 00:11:49,242
Because he's hiding
The fact that he's a jerk.
251
00:11:51,311 --> 00:11:52,545
Who's jerking who here?
252
00:11:52,579 --> 00:11:55,182
Come on, carla. You know, you
Always say you're so tough.
253
00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:56,817
You talk tough, you act tough.
254
00:11:56,850 --> 00:11:59,586
You're not tough.
Tough guys take chances.
255
00:11:59,619 --> 00:12:00,620
You're a chicken.
256
00:12:00,653 --> 00:12:02,155
Don't ever call me that.
257
00:12:02,189 --> 00:12:05,759
Aha. Aha.
That's what you are, carla.
You're a chicken.
258
00:12:05,793 --> 00:12:06,226
Bok! Bok! Bok! Bok!
259
00:12:06,259 --> 00:12:08,161
Hey! Hey! Hey!
260
00:12:08,195 --> 00:12:09,362
I want to go with you.
261
00:12:09,396 --> 00:12:11,298
You have been cruising on your
Looks for too long buddy.
262
00:12:11,331 --> 00:12:12,833
I'm not going to fight with you.
263
00:12:12,866 --> 00:12:15,135
Yeah you are. Yeah you are.
Let's go.
264
00:12:15,168 --> 00:12:16,303
Ooh!
265
00:12:16,336 --> 00:12:19,940
Hey, carla, come on.
You're half my size.
266
00:12:19,973 --> 00:12:22,109
Ow! Come on.
That's dirty.
267
00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:24,912
Yeow!
268
00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:28,949
Nobody calls me chicken.
269
00:12:28,982 --> 00:12:32,019
I'll show you. I'm going to go
Out there. I'm going to be so
Vulnerable.
270
00:12:32,052 --> 00:12:35,722
I'm going to open myself up to
Happiness like a banshee.
271
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,257
Hey, sam. Could I have
The night off?
272
00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:38,125
Ow!
273
00:12:38,158 --> 00:12:38,792
Thanks.
274
00:12:43,496 --> 00:12:44,965
Feel better now?
275
00:12:44,998 --> 00:12:46,366
Yeah, I thought so.
276
00:12:54,307 --> 00:12:55,909
Hi.
277
00:12:55,943 --> 00:12:56,543
Hi.
278
00:12:56,576 --> 00:12:58,578
Want to go
To my place?
279
00:12:58,611 --> 00:12:59,947
You bet.
280
00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:01,714
We can't.
My kids are there.
281
00:13:01,748 --> 00:13:03,183
How about your place?
282
00:13:03,216 --> 00:13:04,317
I told you, I'm staying
With a friend
283
00:13:04,351 --> 00:13:05,518
Until my
Apartment's ready.
284
00:13:08,555 --> 00:13:12,125
Diane, give me
The keys to your place.
285
00:13:12,159 --> 00:13:13,927
I will not.
286
00:13:13,961 --> 00:13:16,029
Hey. You're the matchmaker.
287
00:13:16,063 --> 00:13:17,564
You want this thing
To work out,
288
00:13:17,597 --> 00:13:21,134
Or you want it to end up with
A broken heart and a broken lip?
289
00:13:27,374 --> 00:13:27,941
Enjoy.
290
00:13:27,975 --> 00:13:29,009
Thank you.
291
00:13:29,042 --> 00:13:31,478
And carla when you're done,
Just burn the place.
292
00:13:35,382 --> 00:13:36,483
Come on.
293
00:13:37,885 --> 00:13:41,354
Carla, you just made me
The happiest man
On earth.
294
00:13:41,388 --> 00:13:42,990
Just wait.
295
00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:49,229
Sam.
296
00:13:49,262 --> 00:13:49,997
Sam!
297
00:13:51,064 --> 00:13:52,565
What happened? Are you all
Right?
298
00:13:52,599 --> 00:13:53,466
Don't worry. Don't worry.
299
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:55,068
She didn't hurt any
Of the good stuff.
300
00:14:01,274 --> 00:14:04,912
Romance in this bar
Is kind of an inspiration.
You know, uh,
301
00:14:04,945 --> 00:14:08,848
You, diane.
Carla, hank, there.
302
00:14:08,882 --> 00:14:11,318
Seeing you all
Makes me kind of think
303
00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:14,321
Think that somewhere out there
There's somebody for me.
304
00:14:17,457 --> 00:14:20,427
There are those
That would disagree,
I guess.
305
00:14:20,460 --> 00:14:21,929
I'm sorry, cliff.
306
00:14:21,962 --> 00:14:23,931
Just a picture
Came to mind
307
00:14:23,964 --> 00:14:25,398
Of you in the sack.
308
00:14:28,401 --> 00:14:31,671
I see your mailbag
Draped over a chair
309
00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:33,974
Next to
Your gabardines.
310
00:14:34,007 --> 00:14:34,841
Yeah? Yeah?
311
00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:37,744
That's as far
As I wanted to look.
312
00:14:37,777 --> 00:14:40,480
Wait a minute.
I agree with cliff.
313
00:14:40,513 --> 00:14:42,682
Cheers is
A romantic bar.
314
00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:44,684
I mean, you take even a poor guy
Like hank,
315
00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:46,086
With his
Terrible problem,
316
00:14:46,119 --> 00:14:47,887
He comes in here, he can get a
Girl.
317
00:14:50,757 --> 00:14:52,960
Coach,
What terrible problem?
318
00:14:52,993 --> 00:14:55,495
Well, I'm sorry. I can't
Talk about it.
319
00:14:55,528 --> 00:14:56,829
Hank told me
Not to.
320
00:14:56,863 --> 00:14:58,999
Coach, this could be
Kind of important.
321
00:14:59,032 --> 00:15:01,768
Can you
Give us a hint or something?
322
00:15:01,801 --> 00:15:05,505
A hint.
Ok. I got one, uh...
323
00:15:05,538 --> 00:15:07,507
Lefty kramer.
324
00:15:09,376 --> 00:15:11,711
Lefty kramer,
The old third baseman?
325
00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:18,318
Right. Lefty has
The same problem
That hank has.
326
00:15:18,351 --> 00:15:23,123
Hank can't hit a breaking pitch?
327
00:15:23,156 --> 00:15:24,691
Oh, yeah.
Poor carla, huh?
328
00:15:24,724 --> 00:15:26,693
Yeah.
She'll be crushed.
329
00:15:26,726 --> 00:15:28,395
Go on. Keep thinking.
330
00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:32,199
Think. What problem
Did lefty have?
331
00:15:32,232 --> 00:15:34,467
Well, he was ugly
As a mud fence.
332
00:15:34,501 --> 00:15:37,837
I remember that.
He was a bad dresser.
333
00:15:37,870 --> 00:15:40,107
He used to spit
Tobacco juice all over him.
334
00:15:40,140 --> 00:15:41,841
Ha ha ha
He was great.
335
00:15:41,874 --> 00:15:44,277
Could we forget lefty?
336
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:48,315
What's wrong
With hank, coach?
337
00:15:48,348 --> 00:15:50,583
Wait a minute. Wait a minute,
I got it.
338
00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:53,353
Coach, lefty had
A heart problem.
339
00:15:53,386 --> 00:15:54,454
That's it.
340
00:15:54,487 --> 00:15:55,955
Hank has
The same thing.
341
00:15:55,989 --> 00:15:59,126
I mean, the least bit of
Excitement, wham, bam, it's
Curtains.
342
00:15:59,159 --> 00:16:02,362
Coach, how about sex?
343
00:16:02,395 --> 00:16:04,864
Diane, please. I thought
You were sam's girl.
344
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:10,170
No.
345
00:16:10,203 --> 00:16:12,672
Coach, I'm talking
About hank.
346
00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:16,043
Hank is seeing carla.
Are you listening to this?
347
00:16:16,076 --> 00:16:19,379
Coach. Coach, what she's
Trying to say is,
348
00:16:19,412 --> 00:16:22,249
Is hank in any danger
With carla tonight?
349
00:16:22,282 --> 00:16:23,950
No. No. Not at all.
350
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:26,319
Not at all...Unless he gets over
Excited about something.
351
00:16:26,353 --> 00:16:30,490
Oh!
Oh, sam...We've got to stop
Them!
352
00:16:30,523 --> 00:16:33,860
Wait. Wait. Hank wouldn't have
Gone with carla if he thought it
Was risky right?
353
00:16:33,893 --> 00:16:35,295
Oh, come on.
354
00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:36,396
Yeah. Yeah.
355
00:16:36,429 --> 00:16:37,630
We've got to stop them.
356
00:16:37,664 --> 00:16:39,499
We've got
To warn carla, at least.
357
00:16:39,532 --> 00:16:40,733
I mean my god...I mean
358
00:16:40,767 --> 00:16:44,504
What a shock if the guy were to
Drop dead in carla's own bed
359
00:16:44,537 --> 00:16:47,374
Oh, god. She's in my apartment.
360
00:16:47,407 --> 00:16:48,708
You're kidding.
361
00:16:48,741 --> 00:16:53,246
Well, that's the last time I let
Bedroom.
362
00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:54,214
What?
363
00:16:54,247 --> 00:16:56,716
Call! Just call!
364
00:16:56,749 --> 00:16:58,051
Well what? Come on!
365
00:16:58,085 --> 00:16:59,686
What am I suppose to say?
366
00:16:59,719 --> 00:17:01,721
I don't know. Tell her to look
On the next pillow,
367
00:17:01,754 --> 00:17:04,857
And count
The dead people.
368
00:17:04,891 --> 00:17:06,393
Norman!
369
00:17:06,426 --> 00:17:09,028
Just ask her if
Everything's all right.
370
00:17:09,062 --> 00:17:11,131
All right.
All right.
371
00:17:11,164 --> 00:17:12,565
The line's busy.
372
00:17:12,599 --> 00:17:15,668
Oh, yeah. Maybe she's
Calling an ambulance, huh?
373
00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:17,770
Cliff, now stop it.
374
00:17:17,804 --> 00:17:19,772
We don't have to
Jump to conclusions.
375
00:17:19,806 --> 00:17:22,775
Alot of people
When they're having
A romantic evening
376
00:17:22,809 --> 00:17:24,344
They...They take the phone
Off the hook,
377
00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:27,214
They don't want anything to
Interupt their intimacies.
378
00:17:27,247 --> 00:17:28,781
How come we never did that?
379
00:17:28,815 --> 00:17:31,384
I might miss
An important call.
380
00:17:34,487 --> 00:17:37,023
Will you go over there please,
And see what's happening?
381
00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:38,791
You're right. Coach,
Stay on the line, here.
382
00:17:38,825 --> 00:17:41,361
You know, it's all my fault. I
Practically pushed them into
This.
383
00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:43,563
I'm going, too.
I brought them together in the
First place.
384
00:17:43,596 --> 00:17:45,732
Yeah, well, I'll go with you.
I now cpr.
385
00:17:45,765 --> 00:17:48,468
I'll go.
I'm a cpa.
386
00:17:48,501 --> 00:17:50,970
No. No. No. No. Guys stay here.
Stay here. I can handle this.
387
00:17:51,003 --> 00:17:52,672
If we need you,
I'll call you.
388
00:17:52,705 --> 00:17:54,974
Oh, please god, let hank be all
Right.
389
00:17:58,745 --> 00:18:00,580
Stop!
390
00:18:00,613 --> 00:18:02,048
Oh, no.
391
00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:03,916
I wonder if we're
Too late.
392
00:18:03,950 --> 00:18:07,019
Well, there's
Only one way
To find out.
393
00:18:07,053 --> 00:18:08,588
No, no, sam.
394
00:18:08,621 --> 00:18:10,290
We can't just
Burst in on them.
395
00:18:10,323 --> 00:18:13,226
That's a gaucherie.
396
00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:16,696
Besides, we might
Actually...See them.
397
00:18:17,697 --> 00:18:20,667
Well, what were
We planning to do?
398
00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:22,669
Um...Let's make
Loud noises
399
00:18:22,702 --> 00:18:24,103
To draw
Their attention.
400
00:18:24,137 --> 00:18:25,638
Ahem.
401
00:18:25,672 --> 00:18:27,106
Ahem, ahem.
402
00:18:27,140 --> 00:18:28,608
Fire! Fire!
403
00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:30,610
No, sam,
You'll startle him.
404
00:18:30,643 --> 00:18:33,313
Oh my god, I hope I didn't
Blow it.
405
00:18:33,346 --> 00:18:35,648
Sam, that's
So disgusting.
406
00:18:37,584 --> 00:18:39,018
Can you hear anything?
407
00:18:40,086 --> 00:18:41,621
Not a thing.
408
00:18:41,654 --> 00:18:45,625
Isn't that funny? I thought
Carla would be the type
To make noises.
409
00:18:51,764 --> 00:18:53,132
Hello there.
410
00:18:53,166 --> 00:18:55,168
Ooh, ooh.
They're just starting.
411
00:18:58,405 --> 00:19:00,340
What the hell's
Going on here?
412
00:19:04,411 --> 00:19:05,812
You see...
413
00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:09,048
We, uh, we thought
You were in there.
414
00:19:09,081 --> 00:19:10,550
Were you looking
For pointers?
415
00:19:12,252 --> 00:19:14,254
We saw
The wine glasses.
416
00:19:14,287 --> 00:19:16,723
We had a drink here and decided
To go out for something to eat.
417
00:19:16,756 --> 00:19:18,225
So you
Didn't actually...
418
00:19:18,258 --> 00:19:19,859
Let's pretend
For a minute
419
00:19:19,892 --> 00:19:21,228
It's any of
Your business.
420
00:19:24,764 --> 00:19:26,098
No, we didn't.
421
00:19:26,132 --> 00:19:28,568
Why here? Is there
Something wrong?
422
00:19:28,601 --> 00:19:33,139
Uh, hank, I'm sorry
For intruding,
423
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:34,774
But coach
Said something
424
00:19:34,807 --> 00:19:37,844
About you having
A heart condition.
425
00:19:40,146 --> 00:19:41,481
Oh, did he?
426
00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:43,082
Did he make a mistake?
427
00:19:43,115 --> 00:19:44,884
No, he's right.
428
00:19:44,917 --> 00:19:46,386
I have
A serious problem.
429
00:19:46,419 --> 00:19:47,487
You do?
430
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:48,588
He also said
431
00:19:48,621 --> 00:19:52,525
That any exertion
Would be very dangerous for you.
432
00:19:52,559 --> 00:19:54,627
And so we thought
We'd catch you
433
00:19:54,661 --> 00:19:56,729
Before you
And carla...
434
00:19:56,763 --> 00:19:57,464
Exerted.
435
00:19:57,497 --> 00:19:59,366
Yeah.
436
00:19:59,399 --> 00:20:02,335
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
437
00:20:02,369 --> 00:20:05,137
Are you
Trying to tell me
You could've died?
438
00:20:05,171 --> 00:20:06,473
Carla, I...
439
00:20:07,674 --> 00:20:09,976
Yeah, it
Could've happened.
440
00:20:10,009 --> 00:20:12,345
Sex is ok
For most people
With heart problems,
441
00:20:12,379 --> 00:20:16,983
I'm just one of those rare cases
That makes it chancy.
442
00:20:17,016 --> 00:20:18,651
Maybe if we didn't
Get too wild.
443
00:20:18,685 --> 00:20:20,019
Are you kidding?
444
00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:22,489
I've almost
Killed off guys
With good pumps.
445
00:20:25,858 --> 00:20:26,559
Carla...
446
00:20:26,593 --> 00:20:27,327
Carla, will you
Just forget--
447
00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:29,195
Would you butt out!
448
00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:30,797
Now I am not going to forget
This
449
00:20:30,830 --> 00:20:32,965
Of all the rotten
Things that guys have
Done to me,
450
00:20:32,999 --> 00:20:34,334
This is
The rottenest.
451
00:20:34,367 --> 00:20:35,635
My instincts
Were right.
452
00:20:35,668 --> 00:20:37,504
I should've told you I just
Didn't want to spoil it.
453
00:20:37,537 --> 00:20:38,905
Spoil it?
454
00:20:38,938 --> 00:20:43,643
Oh I would've felt great
Waking up tomorrow with a stiff
Next to me.
455
00:20:43,676 --> 00:20:45,945
Well, at least, you wouldn't
Have had to feed him breakfast.
456
00:20:51,017 --> 00:20:53,786
Hank...
457
00:20:53,820 --> 00:20:55,988
Why would you
Take such a risk?
458
00:20:56,022 --> 00:20:57,790
How could I not?
459
00:20:57,824 --> 00:21:01,961
Carla, I've
Been so careful
For so long.
460
00:21:01,994 --> 00:21:02,595
And then I met you,
461
00:21:02,629 --> 00:21:05,832
And I just
Didn't care.
462
00:21:05,865 --> 00:21:08,100
The more I got to know you the
More I wanted to take the risk.
463
00:21:09,636 --> 00:21:10,837
Wow.
464
00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:15,908
You're nuts.
465
00:21:15,942 --> 00:21:17,176
I just got
So carried away,
466
00:21:17,209 --> 00:21:20,647
I didn't stop to think
What it might do to you.
467
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:23,850
I don't know
What to think
About all of this.
468
00:21:23,883 --> 00:21:25,885
I guess
I better leave.
469
00:21:25,918 --> 00:21:28,388
No. Hey, hank, couldn't
You and carla
470
00:21:28,421 --> 00:21:29,822
Just be good friends?
471
00:21:29,856 --> 00:21:31,324
Real good friends?
472
00:21:31,358 --> 00:21:35,862
No. I don't want
To be just friends
With carla.
473
00:21:35,895 --> 00:21:36,829
It'd drive me crazy
474
00:21:36,863 --> 00:21:40,132
To be
So close to you
And not touch you.
475
00:21:40,166 --> 00:21:41,868
Hear that, bean pole?
476
00:21:43,970 --> 00:21:46,473
Carla, I'm sorry
I disappointed you.
477
00:21:47,974 --> 00:21:49,942
Wait, wait.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
478
00:21:49,976 --> 00:21:51,911
I just thought
Of something.
479
00:21:53,446 --> 00:21:54,947
In a way,
480
00:21:54,981 --> 00:21:57,984
I think maybe you and I
Were perfect together.
481
00:21:59,352 --> 00:22:03,390
See...We never had
An argument. Right?
482
00:22:03,423 --> 00:22:05,358
Not a harsh word.
483
00:22:05,392 --> 00:22:07,794
No one looking
In another direction.
484
00:22:07,827 --> 00:22:09,028
Yes. It was like
485
00:22:09,061 --> 00:22:10,530
An incredibly
Delicate flower.
486
00:22:10,563 --> 00:22:14,000
It doesn't matter
How long it lasts...
487
00:22:14,033 --> 00:22:16,969
Hey, whitey,
This is my moment here.
488
00:22:17,937 --> 00:22:19,739
I'm sorry.
489
00:22:20,807 --> 00:22:22,575
In a way, hank...
490
00:22:23,743 --> 00:22:25,044
I'll always
Remember you
491
00:22:25,077 --> 00:22:27,814
As the best lover
I ever had.
492
00:22:30,417 --> 00:22:31,584
Carla...
493
00:22:43,430 --> 00:22:44,697
Good-bye.
494
00:22:53,973 --> 00:22:55,708
Oh, carla.
495
00:22:57,143 --> 00:23:01,347
Well, now
I've seen past
Your little masquerade.
496
00:23:01,380 --> 00:23:03,916
And there's a bond
Between us
497
00:23:03,950 --> 00:23:05,885
That can never
Be broken.
498
00:23:07,754 --> 00:23:10,222
I'm going to capture
My feelings now
499
00:23:10,256 --> 00:23:12,124
While they're fresh,
500
00:23:12,158 --> 00:23:15,061
And put them on
The pages of my diary.
501
00:23:15,094 --> 00:23:16,429
Oh, wait, diane.
502
00:23:16,463 --> 00:23:19,866
Right here.
We were laughing
About it at dinner.
35181
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