All language subtitles for American Auto s02e13 Judgement Day.eng

- Market is about to open.
- What's the price?

- 55.13.

- So we only need to get it up
three points

by the end of the day.
Easy.

- 3.01.

If we're at 58.14
by the end of the day,

we all keep our jobs.
58.13, we're all fired.

- We're gonna make it.

All of Wall Street
watches this show.

We just gotta hit
the talking points.

- Right, $10,000 Pika
is the most affordable car

in its class.

It's available
for pre-order starting today.

- And if they ask why
we're selling direct...

- How about,
"The dealers hated it so much,

they refused to sell it."

- No, not that one.

- The Pika is a car
for the people,

so why not offer it
directly to the people?

- Wow, I almost believed that,
and I know you're lying.

- And if you get asked a
question that you can't handle,

just say, "I feel positive
and confident about it."

- I've done a lot of TV, Sade.
I'm a pro.

They won't even need
to edit me.

- Well, it's live,
so they can't.

- Wait, what?

What if I say something
I'm not supposed to

and there's not take backs.

Like, what if I suddenly
just start shouting "penis."

- Why would you start
shouting "penis"?

- 'Cause I'm not supposed to.

- Wesley, just breathe,

and remember,
"I'm positive and confident."

- Positive and confident.
Positive and confident.

Okay, that helps.

- You know, it's funny now that
Wesley said the word "penis"

it's all I can think about.
- [sighs]

- Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis.

Penis.

- ♪ Bom bom
bom-bom-bom-bom-bom ♪

♪ Buh buh bom-bom-bom
buh bom-bom-bom-bom ♪

[chorus vocalizing]

- Making another
interest rate hike by the Fed

all but certain.

The Payne Pika
launches this morning.

We'll talk about it
after the break.

- And we're clear.
Two minutes.

- Positive and confident.
Positive and confident.

- You guys will be seated here,
Katherine in the middle,

Wesley on the end.

- Dan Abbas,
glad you could make it.

- Katherine Hastings.
Thanks for having us.

- Positive and confident.
- Hi.

- Wesley.
- Oh, uh, sorry.

Wesley Penis. Pleasure.

[clears throat]

Positive and confident.
- [chuckles]

- Positive and confident.

- You said I'd be answering
questions about the car.

You didn't say
I'd be standing next to it

on national television.

- Okay, You hate the Pika.
I get it.

- You do? 'Cause I thought
I was being subtle.

- Look, all our jobs depend
on you selling this thing.

So can you please just
try to act excited about it?

- Helen Mirren couldn't act
excited about this turd.

Fine.

I'm excited about the Pika.

- Ten seconds until live.

- Oh, I've got all this saliva
in my mouth.

There's like, a ton of it.
What do I do?

Do I spit it out?
- Just swallow it.

Just swallow it.
- Okay.

- Just swallow it.

- It's too much, too much.
I can't.

- Swallow it.
- I can't.

- Swallow it.
- I can't.

- The Pika,
Payne's new $10,000 car,

starts taking
pre-orders today.

Here to talk about it
are Payne Motors CEO

Katherine Hastings...
- Great to be here, Dan.

- And also investor and Payne
family member Wesley Payne.

- Hi, Dan.
Oh.

- Ugh, God.
- Oh, oh.

- You all right over there?

- Sorry.

I got some bad
saliva advice earlier.

- I think--you know,
I think we're just

all salivating over the sales
that are projected

for the Pika.
- Nice recovery.

- Auto companies are always
racing to add features

to their cars.
- Yes.

- But you've gone
in a different direction.

- Yeah, you know, Dan,
the Pika has two features

that other cars don't.

- Why is he just staring
into the camera like that?

- Is he having a stroke?

- Nah, his face would be
drooping to one side by now.

He's probably
[bleep] his pants though.

- Now, Cyrus,
you designed the Pika.

What can you tell us about

reducing cost without
sacrificing safety or function?

- Dan, I gotta tell you,

this is one hell of a car
we have for you today.

Whoo-hoo! Wow!

She's a beaut!

I mean, from the roofs
to the wheels,

these cars are steals.

And you can only get it
at one place.

That's www.paynepika.com.

- He's coming on a bit strong.
- Yeah, it's a lot.

- ♪ We've got Payne Pikas
in Detroit city ♪

♪ That's a capital P,
and that rhymes with C ♪

♪ And that stands for cool

- [sighs]
- Uh...sounds like he's a fan.

- Yeah, well,
I know the enthusiasm

might seem like a lot
or maybe even too much,

but we're all just so excited
about what's happening

over at Payne.

We're turning a corner,

and we have watched
our profit margins grow

very steadily
over the last two quarters.

- Guys, we're surging.

- Really?
- Yeah, we're already up

almost two points.
Look.

I think we're gonna make it.
- Oh, boy.

- What? Uh-uh. What--
what's oh, boy?

- Dan,
there's a breaking news story.

- Um, is it a good
breaking news story?

- Since when has there been
a good breaking news story?

- And, you know,
the glory days are back.

I feel--
- I'm so sorry to interrupt,

Katherine, but we are getting
a story out of China.

The Port of Shanghai
has been shut down

due to Typhoon Meilin.

The markets are
already reacting

given that the port...
- Oh, we're dropping.

- The whole market's dropping.
- Come on, baby.

I need you to go up.
Go up.

- Yeah, I don't think
that's gonna save it.

- Looks like the Nasdaq has
already taken a major slump,

and the Dow
is in near freefall.

And who knows how much lower
it could go?

- Oh, or higher.
Or higher, right?

Or how much higher will it go,

you know,
for companies like ours

that are so well-positioned
for a, uh, um, uh,

a typhoon, yeah.

- I feel positive and confident
about it.

- We will continue
our discussion

in what is shaping up to be
a brutal day for the markets

after the break.

- Oh, penis, penis, penis,
penis, penis, penis.

Oh, I was scared
I was gonna say it.

- And we're clear.

[bell ringing]

- Thanks for coming.

- Kind of makes you miss
the fire.

- Yeah, I think that went well.

- Yeah.

.

- I mean,
the whole market's down, right?

It's not just us.

They can't fire us
for a hurricane surely.

- Please, Soren hates me
so much he probably started

the [bleep] hurricane
just to get rid of me.

- It's a typhoon.
- What's the difference?

- There isn't one, really.
It's basically the same thing.

- Definitely worth
correcting me then.

- It was just bad luck.

There's literally
nothing we could've done

that would've made
any difference whatsoever.

- Mm, screaming "penis"
a bunch of times

probably didn't help us.
- But it didn't hurt us.

- Guys, this isn't over.
We still have five hours.

We just need a plan.

- Is there anything we could do
with, like,

moving them numbers around
on paper to make it look like

we're worth more
than we really are?

- Right. Can anyone beat
Jack's accounting fraud plan?

- Ooh, what about that guy
from Morgan Stanley

that everyone listens to?

- John Hampton?
- Yeah.

He's had us as a sell
ever since I started.

What if we got him
to make us a buy?

- I've tried to get a meeting
with him; he says no.

- Well there's something
you all should know about me.

I don't take no for an answer.

- I actually did know that.
- Hey, driver, change of plans.

We're going to Morgan Stanley.

- Wait, so we're all just
gonna ambush him at his office?

- Mm, good point.

Uh, driver, just pull over.

Elliot, Sadie, come with me.

Everyone else, you can just
go back to the office.

- You're just gonna kick us out
on the side of the road?

- Look, guys,
I know things look tough, okay,

but I don't give up.

So what are we gonna do?

- Get that stock up.

- No.
- Take an Uber home?

- No, that's not--
- Trust ourselves

and know that teamwork can--

- Not--not give up.

I--what I literally just said,
okay?

What are we gonna do?

[together]
Not give up.

- Not gonna give up.

- Oh, it just sounds awkward.

All right,
what are we not gonna do?

[together]
Give up.

- Now it sort of sounds like
we're chanting "give up."

- Showing up unannounced
to his office

just feels a touch aggressive.

- Oh,
it's extremely aggressive.

You can't be too aggressive.

- It's great,
because it's inappropriate.

It's almost unhinged.
He'll never see it coming.

- Hi, we need to speak
to John Hampton.

- Oh, I'm sorry.
He can't today.

- Oh,
I think that he can today.

You tell him
it's Katherine Hastings,

it's urgent, and I won't
take no for an answer.

- John was rushed
to the hospital this morning

after his appendix burst.

- Okay,
this feels really aggressive.

- Cannot be too aggressive.

- Look, guys,
we can't give up.

Katherine's not giving up.

There's got to be something
simple we're not thinking of.

- Right, something simple
that adds five points

to our stock price
in the next four hours.

Hmm, oh,

why don't we just up
Warren Buffett

and see if he'll invest
a few hundred mil?

Jack, you have him
on speed dial, right?

- Ha-ha, good one, Cyrus.

You should be
the chief sarcastic officer.

- I mean,
theoretically if we just said

Warren Buffett was investing,
other people would follow.

By the time they found out
we were lying,

the markets would be closed.

- Period.
- Yeah.

that would be a fun story
to tell the other inmates

while you're begging
for redemption at Shawshank.

- Okay, hey, hey, hey.

What if we didn't say
he was investing,

but we just implied it,

like, we took a photo of him
meeting with us

and leaked it online?

- And how do we lure him here,
exactly,

put out milk and cookies
and hope he climbs

down the chimney?

- Ooh, what if we got
an impersonator, right?

We had a Michael Jackson
lookalike

for my nephew's birthday party,
and the kids loved him.

This was
before the documentary.

- Or hey,
why even bother with that?

Let's just stick the janitor
into a business suit

and pretend like
he's Warren Buffett, right?

[laughs]

That's funny, right?

- Hi. Knock-knock.

Hey, John.

Hi. Katherine Hastings,
Payne Motors.

This is our CCO, Sadie Ryan.

- Hey, I left you
a couple voice mails.

- Elliot Chisholm,
our chief counsel.

Gotcha a little pick-me-up
from the gift shop.

W-why are you just
standing there?

- I don't like all the germs,
fluids, and that.

- Give him the bear.
- Yeah, all right.

Here you go.

Enjoy it in good health.

- Okay, thank you.

- John, I know the timing's
not ideal,

but I'd love to share with you

some of our financial forecasts
for next year.

Sadie, can you, um, help him?

- Oh, you mean, just--
yeah, sure.

Here we go.

- [groans]
- Sorry, John.

- Yeah, I think you're really
gonna like

what you see here,
John.

- [coughs]
- [bleep] me.

Just put on a mask, mate.

- Is this--which is more?

- It's not that difficult.

- He totally looks like
Warren Buffett.

- Mm, not really.

- Hey, it fits great.
Thanks, Robert.

Okay, Bronislaw, you just
sit there and act impressed.

As far as
the camera's concerned,

you are Warren Buffett.

- I'm Warren Buffett, yes.

- Hey, hey, hey, guys,

I'm gonna take a picture
through the glass

so it looks like a sneaky photo

of a secret meeting
or something.

- Love it.

- Maybe we should lose
the Fritos.

- Why can't I eat Fritos.

- You're Warren Buffett.

- He's rich.

He can eat whatever he wants.

- So what exactly do you want
me to pitch to ol' Warren?

- Oh, well, you just sit there
like you're in the meeting,

and I'll do the pitch.

- Oh, good.
- Hey, guys.

What if I shoot it
through a plant?

- Okay, sure.

- Ooh, it looks like
"Jurassic Park."

- Mm.

- I'll just go ahead and do it
if you need me to.

I mean,
I'm the chief designer.

- Oh, yeah, well,
it's a fake photo,

so it doesn't really matter.

- I agree.
This is all pointless.

- So I'll just do it.
- Great, I can do it.

- Or I'll do it.

- Well, that makes no sense.
- I'll do it.

- We got a toilet overflow
in the men's room on six.

- I can't do it right now.
I'm Warren Buffett.

- What?

- I said I'm Warren Buffett
right now.

- Turn that off.
Turn that off.

[walkie-talkie beeps]

- Our valuation multiple
is 11.2 times earnings,

and our projected revenue
is up 9% year-over-year.

- My stitches hurt.
- What's that?

What did you say, John?

- He said his stitches hurt.

- We ready for some more
pain meds?

- We're not quite done here.
- Excuse me.

- We need about two more
minutes if that's okay.

- No.
- I don't think so.

- Just need two minutes here.

- He seems to really need
the meds, so...

- Oh, okay.

Well, I mean,
I'll tell you what,

you can really get addicted
to that stuff.

I ran a pharmaceutical company.
I know what I'm talking about.

- [groans]

- You're stepping
on his catheter.

- Oh, God.
- You all need to leave.

- We're going.
- Okay.

John, the Pika launch
is perfectly timed for a--

- Ow!
- Catheter, catheter, catheter.

- Pika's really--
it's just a game-changer.

Payne is in a totally different
position than it's been--

- Get well soon, John.
Thank you, nurse.

- I think you want
to reframe...

- We're out.

- It's really in terms
of optics...

.

- If you look at last
quarter's financial numbers.

- Just keep your gaze
focused here, you know.

[both chattering
simultaneously]

- What are you guys doing?

Who's he?

- I'm Warren Buffett.

- That pretty much covers it.

- So how'd it go
with the analyst?

- Oh.
[blows raspberry]

Bust.
Sorry, guys.

I really tried my best.

Hey, Dori,
will you bring me my Crocs?

Furry rim.

- Wait, you're giving up?

I thought you never give up.

- Yeah, I guess I--I need
to change that expression.

Sometimes I give up.

- But--no, no, no, but there--

there's always something left
to do.

- Eh.

- Katherine, you have
that photoshoot

with the Pika later.
Do you want me to cancel it?

- Oh, God.

No, I guess
I'll just get it over with.

Probably need new photos
for my LinkedIn page.

[quirky music]

- Bronislaw, you can clean
all this up, right?

- I can't believe we're really
gonna lose our jobs.

I haven't looked for a new job
in, like, a decade.

- If I lose my job,

I might not be able
to stay in America.

So am I gonna be okay?
- I don't know.

- What the hell?
Just say yes.

- But I don't actually know.
- Okay.

- So pretty soon we might not
be working together anymore.

- We might not be.

- Yeah, duh, that's what
we were just talking about

for the last five minutes.

- I'm taking you out
for a drink tonight.

- You are, are you?
- Mm-hmm.

That's what's happening.

Oh, and something
you should know about me.

I don't take no for an answer.

- [chuckles]
Well, all right.

- Wow, you just,
like, went for it.

That was incredible.

- Guys, I think I know a way
to fix all of this,

but, Sadie, I need your help.

Let's go.
- Oh, okay.

- Good luck.

- You just, like, went for it.

- I'm telling you
this is not a good idea.

- Trust me.

[in silly voice]
I heard someone got a boo-boo.

- Hey.

- Oh, God.
[groans]

- Wesley Payne,
not my real voice.

How are you?

- Yeah, that looks great.

Just a little more attitude.

Maybe a hand on the hip,

or could you smile
a little more?

Yeah, we're--we're happy.

- You ever see
those hostage videos

where they claim
they're not being tortured?

- Great, yeah.

- Look at me, Katherine.
Look at me.

Oh, my God.

I'm stuck in a house.
I'm stuck in a house.

I'm stuck in a house.
- Can we take a break?

I just need a second.
- Sure.

Take your time.
- Oh, God.

I can't even fake a smile.

And I am great at faking
a smile, like, world-class.

[scoffs]

Man, that is an ugly car.

- Well, for all we know,
we could be the ugly ones,

and it's actually pretty,

like in that "Twilight Zone"
with the bandaged lady.

- Who cares if the car is ugly,
right?

No one drives a car and thinks,
like, "Oh, my God.

This is ugly."

They're thinking, "This is
way faster than walking."

And you made that.

- Yeah, I guess I did have
a little to do with it.

- Mm-mm, no, no, no, no, no.
It was all you.

- [chuckles]

It's not so bad.

I mean,
it looks like a car, right?

If I saw that on the street
I'd think,

"Yep, that's a car."

Hey, Cyrus,
is this thing road-ready?

- I mean,
as much as any of them are.

- What do you say
we go for a drive?

- John,
Payne is like a rocket ship,

but right now,
you're the asteroid.

- Why are you doing this to me?

- I tried to stop him.
He wouldn't listen.

- But, John, you have the power
to be part of the solution.

If you--what are you doing?

John, no, don't call the nurse.

Put this down, John.
- Wesley, it is over.

- Wait, no. Please, please.
- Let's go.

- Hey, hey,
I'm literally begging.

I'm begging here, man, okay?

Please change your rating.

Just change it.
What do you want me to do?

I'll do anything.
- Can you stop talking?

- I'll eat [bleep].
- Please don't.

- I will eat [bleep].
Where's the bedpan?

I will literally
eat your [bleep].

Give me your [bleep].
I'll put it in my mouth.

That's how much this company
means to me.

- Come on. Let's go.

We'll talk another time.

- No, there is no other time.

After today Katherine's gone.

- Wait, what?
Hastings is out?

- No, I didn't say that.
- No, he doesn't mean that.

- No, no, I didn't mean gone.
I just--

You said that.
I didn't say that.

- What's going on? Why do you
keep pestering this man?

- I don't know.

We just--we just do.

- Out.
- Yeah.

- Okay.
I'm taking the bear.

You can't turn me down'
and keep the bear.

It doesn't make sense.

[quirky music]

- Katherine,
I think it's cool.

This is gonna be a lot
of people's first car.

So for the rest of their lives,

even when they can afford
nicer ones,

they're always gonna remember
the Pika.

- I mean,
it's not a luxury car,

but it drives okay.
It's decent.

- And to think a year
and a half ago you were like,

"Let's build a car."

And look at us.
We sitting in it.

- [chuckles]
- You made this bitch.

- Yeah, you're right.
I did.

Hey, look at this car.
I made this car!

- That's right, Katherine.
Live.

- I mean, come on, Cyrus,
we made a car. Be proud.

- Yeah.
- Yeah, I guess we did.

- [laughs]
No, say it. Come on.

We made this bitch.

- We made this bitch.

- Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.

We made this bitch!

- We made this bitch!

- Yeah, okay.

all: We made this bitch!

- You made me make this bitch.

- We made this bitch.
- We made this.

- We made this.
- We made it.

.

- In a rare phenomenon,
the typhoon combined

with Typhoon Shayla
to create a super typhoon.

- I don't have any regrets.

I made a good car,
a few friends.

I wouldn't have done
anything differently.

- Maybe not the fire, though.
- Other than the fire.

Yeah, I was gonna say that.

- With Wall Street
responding in kind

as stocks hit a ten-year low.

- You guys think we'll all
still hang out after this?

- I'll probably get a coffee
with Sadie in six months.

And we'll say, "Let's not wait
another six months

to do this again."

But we will,
and that'll be fine.

- There are currently
rumors circulating...

- Hey, look.
- That Katherine Hastings

will be out
as CEO of Payne Motors...

-How the hell
do they know about that?

- Uh, okay--
- I bet that Soren

leaked it
to the press probably.

- Totally.
- God, I hate that guy.

I wish he would get caught
in a hurricane.

- Typhoon.
- Really?

- At least the stock price
is going up, though.

- Wait, the price is going up
because I'm leaving?

- No, come on, stock goes up
for a lot of reasons.

You can't just assume that--
assume that...

- Hastings' exit causing
the share price to surge.

- That that's the reason.
- Wow, it is really going up.

- [scoffs]
I get it. I'm terrible.

- No, I mean,
it's really going up.

- Changes ahead for Payne...

- How--how far away are we?
- Three points.

- The market closes
in 17 minutes.

- Okay, is this even possible?
- Maybe.

- Okay, keep going.
- Climb, climb.

- Keep going.
- Up, up.

- Okay, baby.
- Come on!

- 57.75.

57.77.
- Mama needs this!

- 57.90.
- Oh!

- If I sold my shares right now
I'd make so much money.

- Shut up, Wesley.
If you jinx this I'll kill you.

- 58.13.
- Do you believe in miracles?

[bell dinging]

[all cheering]

- Oh, my God!

[all cheering]

- ♪ Ready for more,
are you ready? ♪

♪ Ready for me

[upbeat music]

♪ Are you ready?

[knocks]

- Hey.
- Hey.

- So looks like we'll still be
working with each other

after all, huh?

- Uh, looks like we will be.

- Guess we will have to put
a pin in those drinks.

- You want to cancel.
- What?

No, no.

I thought--
I figured since you--

- We are still on, my friend.

Oh, and there's something
you should know about me.

I don't take no for an answer.

- [chuckles]

Well,
I guess I can't say no then.

- I guess you can't.

- Good night, Bronislaw.
- Good work today, dude.

- I am Warren Buffett.
- Okay.

- You know, I'm gonna stop
seeing my psychic.

She was wrong about everything
she predicted today.

- I mean, in fairness to her,

it was a pretty insane day
to predict.

- Still, that's her job.

- You guys will never guess
how much money I made today.

Don't even try.
Okay, guess, guess.

- $100.

- Oh, my God, dude,
you're way off.

- Ah, if feels good
to be on top.

- Guys,
don't get too excited.

As soon as it get out
that I'm still here,

there's gonna be
a massive sell-off.

Sorry to be the boner-killer
at the party.

- Who cares
what the haters think?

A win's a win.
- I know.

I don't need Wall Street to
tell me that I am a good CEO.

I mean, just because some
dumb analyst decided to put...

- Wait.
- A bull's-eye--

- Wait. Wait.
You've got to see this.

You've got to see this.

It's unbelievable.
Oh, my goodness.

This is unreal.
- Did he always run like that?

- He's like the BFG.

- But he's not fast.
The BFG was fast.

- [gasping, laughs]
[coughs]

Sorry, one second.
- Oh.

- Sorry,
I ran a really long way.

Check it out.

People love the Pika.
Look at these pre-orders.

There were so many people
on the web site it crashed.

- 200,000 orders in a day?

- How?
- Check your news feeds.

We're everywhere.
- "Less is more.

The bare-bones appeal
of the Pika."

- "At a time when drivers
are overwhelmed

"by new technologies,

"the Pika's simplicity
is refreshing.

Sometimes you just want to get
from point A to point B."

- I have, like,
200 emails here from reporters

that want interviews.
- Twitter loves us.

"Finally a tech-free car
that won't read my thoughts

and try to turn me gay."

Well, mm, well,
a sale's a sale.

- Okay, well,
from "Motor Trend,"

"The Pika's a lo-fi antidote
to our stressed out,

tech'd out lifestyles."

Exactly.
That was the vision.

- Andy Richter DM'd me.

"Trying to get a Pika.

Anything you can do
to help out a friend?"

A friend.
- Oh, my God.

Soren left a voice mail.
- What did he say?

- He's freaking out.

- Okay, this tweet.

"Finally a car
from simpler times...

before we had
a president from Kenya."

Come on, Twitter.
- It's a hit.

The car I created
is a [bleep] damn hit.

[laughter]
- I designed it, so...

- I'm a good CEO.

- Yes.
- I'm a good CEO.

- Yes.
- I'm a good CEO!

[all cheer]

And you know what this means,
right?

We are done scrambling.

We have power now.

- And money.
- Yes.

- We just sold a lot of cars.
- Yes, power and money.

And you know what you can do
when you have power and money?

Anything you want.
- Space travel.

- Yeah--uh, maybe, maybe not.

That's a while from now.

All I know is, I am done.

We are done playing defense,
all right?

It is our turn
to make some moves.

- Yes.
[all cheer]

- Somebody call me an Uber!

[upbeat music]

Ow!

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