All language subtitles for 911 s06e14 Performance Anxiety.eng

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♪

(sighs) Okay.

♪ Orange eyes
and candy skies... ♪

(knock on door)

- Hi, Eddie
- Hey, tía. How bad is it?

Oh. (chuckles)

- Did you turn off the water?
- No, it's fine.

Fine? How can it be fine?

I-It fixed itself.

Leaky pipes just
don't fix themselves...

Neither do nephews.

(inhales)

- Ah.
- Uh...

- Excuse us for a moment.
- (sighs)

What?

What did you do, tía?

What had to be done.

You tricked me into
a blind date?

What were you doing

right before I called you?

What do you mean,
what was I doing?

- What were you doing?
- I was at home.

Christopher spent the night
at a friend's house.

I hadn't had time
to figure my day out.

It's... It's Saturday.

Sí, señor, it's Saturday.

You should be
shopping for antiques

or having a cafecito
with somebody you love,

not lounging around in your
pajamas like some malcriado.

So you set me up
with a complete stranger?

Since when?

Where is this coming from?

(sighs)

Alysia is getting
married in September.

- (laughs)
- Rafael, Fernando, and Liliana

are already giving me grandchildren.

So, now my attention
turns to you.

And Vanessa is not a stranger.

Her tía Cuca is a friend of mine

from bunco.

Oh, great.

Edmundo,

it breaks my heart
to see you alone.

It's been too long.

You need to do something

or you're going to be
alone forever.

Vanessa is very nice.

I know you'll get along.

Tía, I can't marry someone
just 'cause you say so.

¿Qué marriage? Who said
anything about marriage?

Ay. Let's just have lunch.

I made the pasta

from the Internet.

- I'm sure it's gonna be awesome.
- Ay.

CHIMNEY:
So how'd you leave it?

We agreed to text each
other, then meet up.

Well, I mean,
you could always just

conveniently forget to text her.

He's not gonna ghost her, Buck.

Yeah, and she already texted me.

You guys don't understand,

Vanessa's tía Cuca
is in on this, too.

That's the combined
power of two tías.

That's huge.

Now I got to figure out
how to let her down easy.

Ooh. You're not good at that.

EDDIE:
No. I'm not.

This is a terrible idea

It's not going to end very well.

Who says to say?
Maybe she's amazing.

EDDIE:
Well, she seems nice.

And she already picked a place.

I just hate
being forced to a date.

Feels like I have to perform.

Maybe you're just anxious
about said performance.

Anxious? Who's anxious?

Tía number three
has entered the chat.

HEN:
First of all,

99% of any first date,

arranged or otherwise,

is a performance,
so get over yourself.

Second, it's okay
to feel nervous.

Vanessa is probably at work

- right now panicking, too.
- I do not panic.

Cap. For me?
It's not even my birthday.

Uh, what is this?
What's going on?

Nothing, it's cake.
Nothing, nothing at all.

Oh, before I forget, everyone,
this week,

I'll be seeing you
all individually

for your annual review.

And remember,
it's not LAFD policy,

but it is my policy.

The annual review is not just an
opportunity for me to offer you

some constructive criticism,

it's an opportunity for you
to do the same for me.

So, please,
tell me how I'm doing.

Dig in.

Chim, you're up first.
See you at 2:00 p.m.

(sighs) Ready when you are, Cap.

All right, now
I'm starting to panic.

I never know what to say
when he asks that.

I'm just gonna tell him that

the captain's truck
is always clean.

Oh, you did that last year.

Has anyone complimented him

on his super-organized

- storage cubby?
- Twice.

Wow, you guys sound
pretty desperate.

Clearly, you are not.

I submit that what you are
all truly nervous about

is the review itself.

These things don't concern me.

I was here before all of you.

I was here before Cap,

and I will be here
when everyone is gone.

Oh, you mean like a cockroach.
Pass me a plate.

I'm simply stating the facts.

I can't help it if I am
a fully actualized human being

and firefighter.

(Hen chuckles)

...and outstanding,
and outstanding.

So many outstandings, Cap.

It's getting
a little monotonous.

Almost done.

Right, now's the part
where I review you.

Cap, I knew
from the day you arrived here

you would be a guiding light
for this house...

Okay, we're actually...
We're not there yet.

You missed one.

Everything is checked
"outstanding"

except for...

Leadership.

(chuckles)

Well, everybody knows
I don't aspire

to the big chair, Cap.

I'm pretty open
about it, actually,

which is why I look to you,

the guiding light...

Chim, I'm transferring you
to the academy.

I'm sorry, you're what now?

You're kicking me down
to the academy?

Nobody's kicking you, Chim.

Not down, anyway.

The truth is, I think

you've gotten
a little too comfortable.

An a little kick might
not be a bad thing.

(indistinct chatter)

♪

MAN: Get moving, guys!

Let's go, let's go!

Aren't you glad you're
not a recruit anymore?

- Good to see you, Ravi.
- (Ravi chuckles)

Ah, it's Peer Group
Instructor Panikkar now.

Right, I heard that. So you've
been down here a while?

- Yeah, about six months.
- Six months?

Didn't I see you on the news

doing some big off-duty save
down in Long Beach?

Yeah, I jumped in the bay
to save a family

from a sinking car.

I jacked my shoulder
in the process.

Still can't do the heavy gear.

You know, rehab's
taking forever.

But you're coming
back to us, right?

Eventually.

So, anyways,

Captain Nash said that, uh,
you'd be coming down here,

but he didn't say why.

Yeah, I got a feeling
that's something

I'm supposed to figure out
for myself.

(oven beeping)

Great caramelization
of the crust,

good crumb and great chew.

Your work is
outstanding, Laverne.

As for you, well,

you certainly exhibit
many leadership qualities.

The people on the floor
look up to you,

and I can't remember the last
time you took a personal day.

But, if I were to rate
your performance overall,

I'd give you
an eight out of ten.

And-and why is that?

Productivity.

Your numbers are down.
As I noted here...

This is about the cages,
isn't it?

On the mixing bowls?

We've been
through this, Laverne.

We don't need them.

Yes, we do. It's an
OSHA violation not to use them.

It slows everything down.

- For a reason.
- Laverne...

If you were still on the floor
you'd want them, too.

Your numbers are down. Way down.

- Okay.
- If you don't get them up,

I'm gonna be forced to recommend

a downward shift
in your compensation.

You can just say
you're gonna demote me.

You know what? Seven out of
ten for insubordination.

You used to be one of us.

♪

REYNA:
Hold on.

Hold on.

Let me show you how it is done.

Step back.

See? Now, if I need
to add an ingredient,

or adjust anything, I can do it

without having to stop and start

and do the whole
process all over again.

Look, want to add some water?

Easy as pie...

(screaming)

BOBBY:
LAFD.

She's over here.

I shut off the machine
as quickly as I could,

but I'm afraid it's too late.

- She's still unconscious.
- LAFD, make some room.

Ma'am?

What's her name?

Reyna. Please help her.

She's breathing,
but her pulse is racing.

I'll start oxygen.

- Eddie, you run a line
wide open. - Copy.

Okay, we're gonna have
to take this thing apart

to get that wand out. Buck?

Ready to go, Cap.

BOBBY: Okay, you ready?
One, two, three.

- I've got no pulse
in her right hand. - HEN: I wouldn't expect it.

I'm seeing
a full separation here.

- Arteries?
- The dough's suppressing most of the flow.

We should wrap around her,

transport her
with the mixing wand,

and let the surgeons address it.

(Reyna moaning)

- (screaming)
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

HEN: Don't move.
Don't-don't move, Reyna.

Don't move, just breathe.

We're giving you
something for the pain.

Ok, Cap, looks like
we're fully dismantled.

BOBBY:
Clear on this side, too. Hen, let us know

when it's safe
to remove that mixing wand.

Okay.

(Reyna moaning)

All right. We're set.

All right, Buck, you ready?
Slowly and carefully.

Okay. One, two, and lift.

(Reyna wails)

Please tell me
she's going to live.

She will. Probably with
a prosthetic arm.

She gave me a bad review, and...

now I feel like it's my fault.

No, it's not your fault.

It's not your fault.
I was pushing the numbers.

I let the bosses get in my head.

I'm sorry.

Reyna, it's okay.

No. You should be
supervisor, Laverne.

Everyone looks up to you.

You'll take care of them.

- Fight for them.
- Okay.

She'll be at Presbyterian.

Thank you.

(exhales)

RAVI:
My job here is for the younglings.

They feel comfortable
laying their burdens down

on someone who's closer
to them in rank and age.

Yeah?

Well, I'm here as a Senior
Peer Group Instructor,

so you all can lay
your burdens on me.

Senior, huh? I guess
that makes you an oldling?

Makes me a Jedi master.

Ah, that's right.

- Novak.
- Yes, sir.

You're behind.
Get up on that ladder

and get that hose
on that fire.

- Yes, sir.
- RAVI: Come on, double time.

CHIMNEY:
So you create the burdens

for them to lay on you.
That's how it works?

Well, you got to keep 'em sharp.

RAVI:
Today's drill: Search and rescue.

A fire has engulfed the top two
loors of a five-story building.f

A woman has been rescued,
but her six-month-old child

is still inside.
Your job: find that baby

and bring it out safely.

Whoops. She crushed it. Literally.

Congratulations.
You killed a baby.

Hope you're better
than that, Ledbetter.

♪ Keep it in motion ♪

♪ That's right, uh, move it ♪

♪ Can I work it
like a nine to five? ♪

Well, well, well, Ledbetter.

♪ I... I... I got a feeling ♪

♪ I got a feeling ♪

You killed a baby. Again.

Next!

♪ Nah, that ain't
worth playing for ♪

♪ I'm looking for
a little danger ♪

She's getting really
tired of this.

♪ Ooh, yeah,
I'm in the zone now ♪

This is not how
the circle of life works.

♪ I like lights,
I really like candles ♪

♪ But I love getting
to that action ♪

♪ Uh, getting to that action ♪

♪ I like lights,
I really like candles ♪

- Again.
- (doll cries)

♪ Getting to that action,
ooh... ♪

RAVI:
All right, Recruit Novak.

- Let's see what you got.
- Y-Yes, sir.

Don't expect much.

(panting)

RAVI:
All right, just focus

and breathe normally.
You got this.

(panting continues)

Dispatch, this is Captain 118.

We need an additional
RA unit on the scene.

You people think it's gonna
be dead quiet over the radio

in a situation like this,
you got another think coming.

Copy that, Captain 118.

RA unit is six minutes out.

We don't have six minutes!

(radio echoing)

(panting)

Okay. Okay.

CHIMNEY (over radio):
Please be advised,

there's a baby
that is unaccounted for

and it is probably suffering
from smoke inhalation.

Come on, Novak.

Gotcha.

Wow.

Who knew?

Yeah, funny how
that works, isn't it?

- Good job, Novak.
- Thank you, sir.

♪ Big flips, all this money,
you and me ♪

♪ That's for everyone
who fronted on me ♪

It's not bad, right?

Not at all.

Listen, Vanessa,

I know our tías
set this up and everything,

but full disclosure...

You came to let me down easy.

Yeah. I'm-I'm sorry, I'm just...

I'm afraid I'm gonna have
to beat you to the punch.

Eddie, you are

one of a very long line
of nice Mexican boys

my tía Cuca's has
tried to set me up with

for the last... year.

Ever since my fiancé
called off the wedding.

I'm sorry.
That must've not been easy.

It wasn't.

I am not even remotely ready

to be in a serious relationship,

so I always
bring my dates here and...

- Let them down easy.
- Mm-hmm.

I get that.

And, plus, you wouldn't
want to break tía's heart.

Or mine, you know?

You get that,

- don't you?
- No, I do.

Only one problem, though. Um...

- What's that?
- My tía's gonna grill me.

- Mmm.
- So's yours.

Yes. Okay,

so we got to get
our stories straight.

- Yeah.
- Okay. Um,

- you took me to La Fonda.
- Mm-hmm.

I had the Milanesa de Pollo,

- you had the Mole Poblano. Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.

Um, you paid,
held the door for me,

I got a little drunk. Uh...

We had a lovely evening,

and we talked and talked,
but ultimately we decided that

we'd be better off friends.

My tía knows that I don't like
mole, so that's not gonna fly.

- Chile Verde?
- Better.

All right. (chuckles)

You seem like
a really nice guy, Eddie.

But rules are rules.

¿Todo bien?

Todo bien.

Be careful out there.

(chuckles)

Sir, are you a student there?

BOY:
Not yet.

I-I'm auditioning to be.

I-I-I'm supposed
to go up and sing

in like five minutes.
But I-I don't think I can.

What's your name?

Bowen. Bowen Lark.

Bowen, I'm Maddie.

I don't... I don't feel right.

I think I'm dying.

Sounds to me like
you're suffering from

a good old-fashioned
panic attack, brought on

by performance anxiety.

'Cause it feels like someone
is sitting on my chest.

You know what
will help with that?

Focus on your breathing,
try to slow it down a bit.

- I ca... I can't. I can't.
- You can.

Singing is all
about breathing, right?

Yeah.

Okay, just listen
to the sound of my voice

and follow my lead.

Deep breaths.

In through your nose, and...

(exhales)
...out through your mouth.

- ow, give me a nice long exhale.
- N

Really push that air out,

like you're blowing away
all of your negative thoughts.

(exhales)

(inhales)

(exhales)

Good.

How does that feel?

I think... better.

My heart's still racing, though.

Do you mind if
I ask what you sing?

Opera. I'm a tenor.

Wow, that's impressive.

I've been doing it
since I could talk.

My mom used to put on old

Motown records.

And that's what
made you love singing.

If I blow this,

I'm gonna let my mom down,

and she's given up so much
for me...

for me to be able to do this.

Okay, Bowen, keep breathing.

(panting)

Okay, Bowen, calm down.

- Keep breathing.
- I can't... I can't calm down.

(panting heavily)

MADDIE:
♪ You and I must make a pact ♪

♪ We must bring salvation back ♪

BOTH:
♪ Where there is love ♪

♪ I'll be there ♪

♪ I'll reach out
my hand to you ♪

♪ I'll have faith
in all you do ♪

♪ Just call my name ♪

♪ And I'll be there. ♪

Oh, you have an amazing voice.

- Thanks.
- (applause)

Wait, did you do that
to distract me?

Uh, did it work?

I think it did.

Well, then,

I guess you have
an audition to get to.

Look, you've put in
the hard work,

now it's time to get out there

and have fun.

Remember what you love
about singing.

The performance will
take care of itself.

Thanks, Maddie.

Any time.

- (applause)
- (laughs)

(sighs)

I didn't even get a chance.

She just...

left me there, hanging.

BOBBY:
Eddie...

We are not here
to review your date.

Uh, yeah, sorry.
Uh, it's a lot to process.

Didn't expect
the brush-off, huh?

Well, not gonna lie.

It was probably
the worst one yet.

Wait, you didn't
even want this date.

Yeah, so it shouldn't be
bothering me, right?

- Yeah.
- Maybe Hen's right.

Maybe...

Maybe I'm anxious
about not performing.

Well, the good news is you
don't have that problem at work.

- Outstanding.
- Thanks, Cap.

But maybe

it's time to find the right

work/life balance.

Mm, feel like I have that.

Me, Christopher,
we're a good team.

And you're a great father.

But there is more to life,

and I think even
Christopher would agree.

The sooner you realize that,

the sooner you can
get back out there.

(sighs)

Okay, time to turn the tables.

Let me have it.

Oh... talk about
a lot to process.

- Uh...
- I can take it.

I feel like
I haven't had a chance

to really, uh,
collect my thoughts,

so let me go out there

and-and-and do

some collecting.

I'll get back...
I'll get back to you.

BOBBY:
You're gonna get back to me...

E-Eddie?

Recruits, don those harnesses

and get up there and construct
those main lines.

I want you to check one another
for safety and security.

This exercise is about trust.

Trust in your equipment,

trust in your training,

and most of all,
trust in yourself.

You four, up top.
Show me what you got.

Let's move, move.

Ledbetter, Novak,
get the lead out. Let's move it.

Imagine you have a victim
down below in a ravine,

or you have to make
an emergency extraction

from an apartment or a tower.

This is about speed,

efficiency and, again, trust.

You two, let's do it.

Safety first, safety first.
Secure, secure, secure.

Just tie it nice and safe.

("The Ballroom Blitz"
by Sweet playing)

♪ Oh, I see a man
in the back... ♪

You good, Novak?

Yes, sir.

Secure? Let's do it.

Go over.
Nice and easy. That's it.

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

CHIMNEY:
There you go. Slow and easy.

Right hand's your brake.

That's it, nice and easy.

♪ And they all
started grooving ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah... ♪

Ledbetter, Novak,
you guys are up next.

♪ And the man in the back
said everyone attack... ♪

Nice work. Okay.
Now get up there

and show me what you can do.

♪ And the girl in the corner ♪

How did that go, guys?
Feel good? Nice.

♪ Ballroom blitz ♪

There you go, Ledbetter.
All right, let's do it.

♪ Ballroom blitz,
ballroom blitz... ♪

Come on, Novak. You've got this.

Nice and easy.

Remember your training.

There you go.

You got it.

Looking good.

There we go.

Nice and easy.

(Novak gasping)

Novak, what's the holdup?

(gasping)

Novak, lower yourself down.

Right hand is your brake.

Let the rope slide
through your right hand.

(Novak gasping)

I can help him.

No, Ledbetter,
stay in your lane.

No, I got this.

RAVI:
Ledbetter!

Novak, come on. Come on.

(shouting)

(shouts)

Get a backboard over here, now.

(shouting)

I'm going over. Hook me in.

- (whimpering)
- RAVI: Get him to the main hall.

Let's have him looked at. Okay?

All right, I'm hooked up.
Let's go, come on.

(indistinct chatter)

RAVI:
Let's go, people. Let's go.

On the count of three. Okay?
One, two, three.

Hey, what are you hanging
around here for?

(groans) This is
so embarrassing.

How do you think I feel?

My first week as an instructor.

I can't move.

All right,
just stay with me, okay?

Oh, God, this is all my fault.

No, it's not.

Ledbetter tried to be a hero.

It's not your fault.

Now, just let that rope
slide through your right hand.

This is what I get for
faking it till I make it.

You wouldn't be the first.

I lost it my first week
in training.

And the second.

But I powered through,
and you can, too.

No, I can't do this. I can't.

Novak, look at me.

Just let go a little at a time.

We're gonna work our way
down together, got it?

NOVAK:
Yeah.

Rope through the right hand.

- Ready?
- (Novak groans)

Here we go. Loosen it up.

You're doing great.

All right.

You're doing great, Novak.

Halfway there, buddy.

Almost there. Nice and slow.

Let the rope slide
through your right hand.

Look like a champ, Novak.
Almost there.

(Novak exhales)

See? Wasn't that bad.

I should have let myself fall.

Would have been easier.

Novak.

(sighs)

BOBBY:
Professionalism, camaraderie,

initiative. Don't have
a problem with any of those.

And your PT scores
are right there.

Okay, I think that does it.

Uh, it-it does? Really?

Listen, Buck, I know
everybody's real nervous

about reviewing my performance,

but we can just
keep this casual.

Uh, actually, no,
this is, uh, still about me.

My PT scores
are not "right there."

They're low, and-and you
marked me as "outstanding."

Yes, considering that...

Considering what? That I had
an accident on the job

but I recovered?

Buck, you died.

Yeah. So, what,
now you're just gonna

take it easy on me forever?

I don't think
that's entirely inappropriate.

Aw, come on, Cap.
You-you can't do that.

Okay? I'm a member of this team,

and you have to hold me
to the same high standards

as everyone else. Always.
Y-You can't cut me any slack.

You're right.

I know.

My thought was
that you'd earned it,

but it just goes to show you
that sometimes

the teacher can learn
from the student.

Great, great.

I guess this means I don't
need to review you, right?

Not a chance. You just said it.

I can't cut you any slack.

(sighs)

ANNOUNCER:
You are not ready for this, ladies and gentlemen.

(crowd cheering)

ANNOUNCER:
Because tonight we are witnessing

the passing of a baton.

This young man, Dax Bixby,

has been performing
at an incredible level today,

and that's no surprise.

Don't go anywhere, Dax.

His father, the legend,

is out there in the crowd.

Give it up

for Jimmy "Biggs" Bixby.

What do we say to the man?

CROWD (chanting):
Show us your guns. Show us your guns.

Show us your guns.
Show us your guns.

- ANNOUNCER: Show us your guns.
- (crowd cheering)

ANNOUNCER:
And now, the final deciding round.

The posedown.
Dax, let's see what you got.

♪ Turn down for what? ♪

♪ Turn down for what? ♪

(cheering)

♪ Turn down for what? ♪

♪ Turn down for what? ♪

(crowd cheering)

♪ ♪

♪ Fire up that loud,
another round of shots ♪

♪ Turn down for what? ♪

♪ Turn down for what? ♪

And the winner, by judges'
unanimous decision...

Dax Bixby.

(cheering)

Get up here, Dad.

(cheering increases)

I've never been so happy
to be embarrassed by you

in my entire life.

- (laughs)
- Thanks, Dad.

I'm so proud of you. So proud.

Yah!

(shouting)

LAFD, coming through.

We're still working
on crowd control,

but the stage
is safe for you to work.

What's with all the rage?

It could be the steroids.

But your victim's name is Biggs.

Former bodybuilder,

used to be a legend, apparently.

(crowd booing)

Please help him.
His arm blew up,

he's bleeding out.
We can't stop it.

Let's take a look.

(groaning)

Clear blood
is never a good thing.

Pus. Usually means infection.

I don't think that's pus.

Synthetic oil, meant
to enlarge his muscles.

Maybe that explains
why everyone's so angry.

No one likes a cheater.

(shouting indistinctly)

Well, they're liking him
less by the minute.

Ma'am, it's not safe.

We need to get you out of here.
Come with me, please.

He's gonna need broad spectrum
antibiotics at the hospital,

and an orthopedic
surgeon to repair

whatever's left of this arm.

He's gonna lose his arm?

Unclear, and not
for us to determine.

I've already lost
a lot more than my arm, son.

I was so afraid
I couldn't live up to you.

And you were cheating?

I was afraid, too.

Didn't think they would
love me anymore.

But you beat your fear.

You went out there and won.

I'm sorry.

Cap, he's tachycardic.
We got to get him out of here.

Uh, yeah, that's gonna
be tricky right now.

(shouting gets louder)

Hey, hey, hey, hey. Easy, easy.

Okay. All-all right.

Sergeant, we got to move.
A little help?

Ladies and gentlemen,

...I don't know if what
this man did is illegal.

But I do know this:

that pursuant to section 148.2

of the California
State Penal Code,

it is a misdemeanor

to willfully obstruct
emergency personnel

from discharging
their official duties.

Now, let me advise you.

Do not obstruct.

Hey, kid.

You won this fair and square.

Keep it. I was only
doing it for him.

No surprises here.

Outstanding in every aspect
of your performance.

- (chuckles)
- To be completely honest,

I could argue that you
outperformed me as captain

when you held the position
earlier this year.

Okay, Cap. We're not here
to make me blush.

No, you carried this house

on your back and kept up
with your medical studies.

It's impressive.

The irony...

There's irony?

...is that while you
were in medical school,

none of your LAFD Continuing
Education hours were met.

Your paramedic certification
is about to expire

in ten days.

Oh.

But don't worry,
I got you an extension.

Thanks. Again, Cap.

Okay, I was completely
honest with you,

now you be completely
honest with me.

Go ahead, hit me.

ATHENA:
So, then, what did you say?

Well, I told him that I think

his captain's truck
is very clean.

Oh, you used that one again?

I had to say something, Athena.

I mean, he literally built

this entire conversation
around honesty

just so he could ambush me.

The man craves feedback.

Mm-hmm, that's my husband.

(chuckles) Always
wants to do better,

even when he's doing great.

If he only knew he was perfect.

(laughing):
Most of the time.

Well, you know what they say.

Perfect is the enemy of good.

And why do we say that?

This whole Nathaniel thing.

Ever since Denny brought him
back into our lives,

Karen and I feel like
we have to be perfect.

Like we're putting on
a show all the time.

Why-why do you think
I'm over here,

trying to duplicate
my mom's jerk chicken?

We're having him
over this weekend.

You do realize that
he is not perfect, either.

I don't know if this
makes me a bad person, but...

I don't like having him around.

Hmm.

See? Terrible person.

You just have to build
a little trust with him.

- That's all.
- And then what?

What happens
when we do something

that Denny doesn't like?

Is he gonna go
running to his father?

That's doesn't sound like Denny.

That sounds like
your anxiety talking.

(sighs)

There you are.

Hey.

What's up?

Uh, Drill Master told me
you cut the fire drill.

Well, there's already plenty
of that in the training.

Switching it up is good,
I guess.

Listen, I'm mostly

going off instinct because

I'm trying to cover for the fact

that I don't know
what I'm doing.

Kevin Lee.

He was like a brother to me.

We joined up together,
mostly because I led the charge.

We were assigned
to separate houses,

but we were at this
big structure fire

together downtown.

Next thing I knew,

he was falling through the roof

and I couldn't save him.

I'm really sorry.

But he saved two lives that day.

Kevin's the reason
I became a firefighter.

He's also the reason

I've been afraid
to lead anyone into anything.

(chuckles)

Wha...

Something funny about that?

I think I figured out
why Cap sent me down here.

Speaking of which,
you still haven't told me

why you're still down here.

Tell me about this
big save in Long Beach.

I was driving with my parents

when we saw the car
go off the pier.

I didn't even
have time to think.

I jumped in the water

to save the people
inside that car.

Nothing wrong with that.

It was a father
and his two kids.

I saved him,

but I could only get to
one of the little ones in time.

But what haunts me

isn't the one that I lost.

It's the one that I saved.

That car didn't
go off the pier on accident.

The father
drove it off the pier.

He wanted to kill his kids.

Listen, that's rough.

But a situation like that,

you got to hand it off.

Focus on the task
in front of you.

We're in the business
of saving lives,

not judging them.

Do you ever stop and think that

some people's lives
just aren't worth saving?

If you're thinking that,

then you don't belong
on the rig.

I know.

It went great. You know?

Uh, we went to La Fonda.

Uh, she had
the Milanesa de Pollo,

I had the Mo...

um...

Chile Verde,
and we talked for a while,

but we agreed, you know, it's...

We're better off as friends.

She was... very nice.

You're never going
to see her again, huh?

(sighs) I'm sorry, tía.

(sighs) I'm not ready.

That's the point.
You're never ready.

Do you think I was ready
when I met Paco?

If I hadn't gone out
with the girls from work,

it would have never happened.

And only because they forced me,

after six years

trying to get over
my first husband.

First?

Wait...

- you were married
before tío Paco? - Mm-hmm.

Two years.

I would say
it was a train wreck,

but that wouldn't
be nice to train wrecks.

(laughs)

That's crazy.

Why has no one said
anything about this?

Abuela.

It's like he never existed.

(exhales)

Edmundo, I was just like you.

I was making good money
as a paralegal,

and I thought
my life was perfect.

But it wasn't.

I was getting set in my ways,

and the longer you're alone,

the easier it is.

I don't want that for you.

Me, either.

(alarm chiming)

Where's Mom?

Oh, Mama's at the market.

We ran out of powdered sugar,
and I need it for the desserts.

He's gonna be here any second.

Oh, it'll be fine. Hopefully,
he's not Mr. Punctual.

- (doorbell rings)
- Oh, great.

He's Mr. Early.

You made Grammy's jerk chicken?

Yeah. Why?

Mama, he doesn't like spicy.

Hey, hey, hey. Listen to me.

It's gonna be fine.

Can't you just make
frozen pizza or something?

Even if I had one,
I wouldn't do that.

We are not gonna put on
a show for this man.

We're gonna do us.

Go.

Get the door,

and I'll be right behind you.

(door opens)

- (sighs)
- (door closes)

MADDIE:
Okay, no.

How about this book?

- (giggles)
- Okay, we did just read that a few days ago.

OH, this one. This one's gonna
be it, right?

No. Okay.

Um... Oh. I have an idea.
Can I sing to you?

(gasps playfully)

♪ Let me fill your heart ♪

♪ With joy and laughter ♪

♪ Togetherness ♪

♪ Well, that's all I'm after ♪

♪ Where there is love ♪

♪ I'll be there ♪

BOTH:
♪ I'll be there to protect you ♪

♪ With an unselfish love ♪

♪ That respects you ♪

♪ Just call my name ♪

-♪ And I'll be there. ♪
- (Jee-Yun cooing along)

MADDIE (laughing):
Yay.

NOVAK:
I'm a washout.

Might as well accept it.

Can't be a firefighter
if you're afraid of heights.

Doesn't mean
you can't help people.

Doesn't even mean
you can't save lives.

If I'd had a chance
to review your performance,

I wouldn't have recommended
you for advancement.

However,

you are the only person
who beat the Kobayashi Maru.

Uh, the baby drill.

You held yourself together
under intense pressure,

even while I was screaming
in your ear.

I found a rubber doll.

Big whoop.

No, you made a difference.

Doesn't matter how small,
it still means something.

What's this?

I know someone at Dispatch,
and believe me,

they can use someone
who's cool under pressure

and doesn't mind
someone ranting in their ear.

Thank you. I'll call.

You're not a washout, Novak.

♪ Ho ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Ho ♪

RAVI:
Cap was right.

You're good at this.

You noticed he had
a fear of heights

the first day you were here,
so you tested him.

That's right.

And I'm not finished yet,
Peer Instructor Panikkar.

- What, you're gonna test me now?
- More of a performance review.

You put Ledbetter
on that backboard

almost singlehandedly.

So much for not being able
to handle heavy equipment.

You're hiding out
down here, Ravi.

You're stuck on that rope,
just like Novak.

But whatever it is
you think is holding you back,

you can learn to let it go.

You just got to hand it off
and get back out there.

♪ I don't know
where I went wrong ♪

(sighs) On-the-job training?

The 118 sure does know
how to kick your ass.

Well, a little kick
might not be a bad thing.

♪ You're my sweetheart ♪

- Come on.
- Who? Did what?

Let's go.

Get your stuff.

♪ Hey ♪

Hey, look who I found.

Hey, Ravi's back.

(laughing):
Hey, hey, hey.

♪ ♪

♪ Ho ♪

(friendly shouting)

♪ Think of what
it might've been ♪

♪ If we took a bus
to Chinatown ♪

You sent me to the academy

to bring the kid back,
didn't you?

Hey,
you're a great teacher, Chim.

And you're a better leader

than you give yourself
credit for.

You led, he followed.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Now it's time for me to finally
give you your review

on behalf of the entire 118.

Really? Well,
I can't wait for this.

Why can't you just...

(alarm ringing)

Let's go, let's go!

CHIMNEY:
No, no, no.

Can't you just tell us what
you want us to do directly,

instead of always
making a game out of it?

Where's the fun in that?

♪ Hey. ♪

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