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Once upon a time,
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00:00:03,212 --> 00:00:06,527
there were three little girls
who went to the police academy,
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00:00:06,551 --> 00:00:08,301
two in Los Angeles...
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00:00:13,228 --> 00:00:17,244
the other in San Francisco,
5
00:00:17,268 --> 00:00:22,585
and they were each assigned
very hazardous duties...
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00:00:22,609 --> 00:00:24,889
but I took them
away from all that,
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00:00:24,913 --> 00:00:26,659
and now they work for me.
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My name is Charlie.
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Taking a whole bunch
of pictures all at one time
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made me so nervous,
and this busy town!
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I'm just too
excited to be tired.
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Really, Jolene, I
don't know where
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you get your energy from.
14
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I wish I had it.
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00:01:44,739 --> 00:01:45,851
I feel so bushed.
16
00:01:45,875 --> 00:01:47,119
Well, good night, honey.
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Good night.
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00:01:53,252 --> 00:01:55,253
Next one's mine.
19
00:03:05,567 --> 00:03:07,334
Coming.
20
00:03:22,694 --> 00:03:27,644
You flew all the way from
Iowa just because of a spider?
21
00:03:27,668 --> 00:03:29,882
I had to. That girl!
22
00:03:29,906 --> 00:03:32,519
It didn't matter to her that
the spider was harmless.
23
00:03:32,543 --> 00:03:34,422
Why should she
care that she started
24
00:03:34,446 --> 00:03:36,092
a panic among the
other contestants?
25
00:03:36,116 --> 00:03:38,095
Are you certain the
spider was harmless?
26
00:03:38,119 --> 00:03:40,532
Of course it was...
I stomped on it.
27
00:03:40,556 --> 00:03:43,403
But was it harmless
before you stomped on it?
28
00:03:43,427 --> 00:03:44,805
How should I
know? I wasn't going
29
00:03:44,829 --> 00:03:46,407
to let it bite me to find out.
30
00:03:46,431 --> 00:03:48,410
If you would just settle
down a little, Mr. Pawl
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00:03:48,434 --> 00:03:50,214
it would make it easier
for us to understand
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00:03:50,239 --> 00:03:51,415
what you're trying to tell us.
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00:03:51,439 --> 00:03:53,219
It's easy for you to
say "settle down."
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00:03:53,243 --> 00:03:55,923
You didn't have to work a
year organizing the greatest
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00:03:55,947 --> 00:03:57,559
beauty pageant
the world has seen.
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00:03:57,583 --> 00:04:00,798
You didn't have to watch
67 gorgeous contestants
37
00:04:00,822 --> 00:04:03,668
melt away, frightened off.
38
00:04:03,692 --> 00:04:06,140
The girls are dropping
out right and left.
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00:04:06,164 --> 00:04:09,145
Someone is out to ruin
the pageant, to destroy
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00:04:09,169 --> 00:04:10,814
a national institution.
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00:04:10,838 --> 00:04:13,350
You've got to help us.
42
00:04:13,374 --> 00:04:16,656
To quote Barbara, "Nobody...
43
00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:19,694
no, nobody should
rain on our parade."
44
00:04:19,718 --> 00:04:22,364
Uh-huh.
45
00:04:22,388 --> 00:04:25,469
Well, we will
discuss it, Mr. Pawl
46
00:04:25,493 --> 00:04:27,239
and then we will be in touch.
47
00:04:27,263 --> 00:04:28,374
Well, please act quickly.
48
00:04:28,398 --> 00:04:29,811
The pageant starts tomorrow
49
00:04:29,835 --> 00:04:31,746
and we've only
got nine girls left.
50
00:04:31,770 --> 00:04:32,881
In plain language, Mr. Bosley,
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00:04:32,905 --> 00:04:34,517
the clock is ticking.
52
00:04:34,541 --> 00:04:37,088
Uh, yes, we understand.
53
00:04:37,112 --> 00:04:39,591
Goodbye, Mr. Pawl.
54
00:04:39,615 --> 00:04:42,763
Bye.
55
00:04:42,787 --> 00:04:44,700
Somehow, I never quite thought
56
00:04:44,724 --> 00:04:47,371
of the Miss Chrysanthemum
Festival Pageant
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00:04:47,395 --> 00:04:49,174
as a national institution.
58
00:04:49,198 --> 00:04:51,044
Well, how can
you say that, Bree?
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00:04:51,068 --> 00:04:54,883
It's the stepping stone
to the Miss Prunes title.
60
00:04:54,907 --> 00:04:57,454
Yes, and from there,
well, the sky's the limit.
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00:04:57,478 --> 00:05:01,293
Uh, were you serious about
having taken the case, Charlie?
62
00:05:01,317 --> 00:05:02,695
A tarantula
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00:05:02,719 --> 00:05:05,266
intentionally placed on the
pillow of a young woman?
64
00:05:05,290 --> 00:05:07,069
Now, if that young woman had had
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00:05:07,093 --> 00:05:09,038
a weak heart, she'd be dead
66
00:05:09,062 --> 00:05:10,909
and someone would have
gotten away with murder.
67
00:05:10,933 --> 00:05:13,045
I suggest you get
your acts together
68
00:05:13,069 --> 00:05:14,581
and head for the pageant.
69
00:05:14,605 --> 00:05:18,020
Oh, by the way may
the best woman win.
70
00:05:18,044 --> 00:05:19,655
What? Wait a minute, Charlie.
71
00:05:19,679 --> 00:05:23,028
You don't mean that we
have to play contestants?
72
00:05:23,052 --> 00:05:24,329
At least two of you should.
73
00:05:24,353 --> 00:05:26,333
That's where most
of the trouble hits.
74
00:05:26,357 --> 00:05:28,703
Uh, you two better get a
couple of extra bathing suits
75
00:05:28,727 --> 00:05:30,773
and of course, a pair
of high heel shoes.
76
00:05:30,797 --> 00:05:32,309
No, no, no. Wait a minute. No.
77
00:05:32,333 --> 00:05:35,381
No. I'm not going to
be a beauty contestant.
78
00:05:35,405 --> 00:05:39,653
You might flip a
coin... odd Angel out.
79
00:05:39,677 --> 00:05:41,757
Oh, boy. Well, that sounds fair.
80
00:05:42,782 --> 00:05:43,760
Okay.
81
00:05:43,784 --> 00:05:45,017
Here we go. One...
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00:05:45,587 --> 00:05:48,924
two... three.
83
00:05:51,196 --> 00:05:52,541
Heads.
84
00:05:52,565 --> 00:05:55,679
Tails.
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00:05:55,703 --> 00:05:57,950
Heads.
86
00:06:01,346 --> 00:06:02,390
It's not funny.
87
00:06:02,414 --> 00:06:04,493
What is that sound, Charlie?
88
00:06:04,517 --> 00:06:07,030
I'm working with a
physical therapist, Kelly.
89
00:06:07,054 --> 00:06:09,335
Oh, not feeling well, Charlie?
90
00:06:09,359 --> 00:06:11,037
Oh, nothing like that.
91
00:06:11,061 --> 00:06:14,030
Just learning a little
about the pectoralis major.
92
00:06:16,103 --> 00:06:18,282
Kris, Bos and I are
going to meet Ben Pawl
93
00:06:18,306 --> 00:06:20,118
and some of the contestants.
94
00:06:20,142 --> 00:06:21,320
Why don't you grab a bikini
95
00:06:21,344 --> 00:06:22,822
and help us set up our cover?
96
00:06:22,846 --> 00:06:24,492
Okay. I'll check
into my room later.
97
00:06:24,516 --> 00:06:25,926
I'll see you at the hotel...
98
00:06:25,950 --> 00:06:28,032
I've got an interview
in a half an hour.
99
00:06:36,067 --> 00:06:38,347
And what are your
future plans, dear?
100
00:06:38,371 --> 00:06:42,620
Well, I hope to
study brain surgery.
101
00:06:42,644 --> 00:06:45,825
Uh, what would cause
a young lady like yourself
102
00:06:45,849 --> 00:06:47,961
to chose, uh, that profession?
103
00:06:47,985 --> 00:06:51,968
Well, it-it seems to me
that unless the young people
104
00:06:51,992 --> 00:06:53,971
take up the
challenge of the future
105
00:06:53,995 --> 00:06:55,874
we can't move the world forward.
106
00:06:55,898 --> 00:06:57,877
The greatest
challenge I can think of
107
00:06:57,901 --> 00:06:59,713
is brain surgery.
108
00:06:59,737 --> 00:07:02,318
Then you give up
the dancing, ya?
109
00:07:02,342 --> 00:07:06,691
Oh, no. Dancing's a great
form of exercise and a lot of fun.
110
00:07:06,715 --> 00:07:10,497
I'm going to keep up my
dancing no matter what.
111
00:07:10,521 --> 00:07:13,602
And also, working at
the polls on election day.
112
00:07:13,626 --> 00:07:16,441
I feel that we should
all stay healthy
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00:07:16,465 --> 00:07:18,810
and politically aware.
114
00:07:18,834 --> 00:07:23,051
That's good. Don't
never give up the dancing.
115
00:07:23,075 --> 00:07:24,186
You know, when last year
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00:07:24,210 --> 00:07:27,324
I was the queen from
this Chrys-trumums
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00:07:27,348 --> 00:07:28,493
I was dancing.
118
00:07:28,517 --> 00:07:33,267
You know, I give
up it, the dancing
119
00:07:33,291 --> 00:07:34,268
and fat comes on me.
120
00:07:34,292 --> 00:07:37,039
Six pounds in one month.
121
00:07:37,063 --> 00:07:40,044
I want you to know
it's-it's a great privilege
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00:07:40,068 --> 00:07:43,750
to be given advice by the
retiring Miss Chrysanthemum.
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00:07:43,774 --> 00:07:45,120
Thank you.
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00:07:46,411 --> 00:07:49,159
I won't forget that
if I'm lucky enough
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00:07:49,183 --> 00:07:51,083
to be awarded this title.
126
00:08:17,928 --> 00:08:19,307
This your house, Mr. Pawl?
127
00:08:19,331 --> 00:08:21,910
No, it was loaned to us by
Mr. Cree, one of our judges
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00:08:21,934 --> 00:08:24,482
so the girls could relax
while they rehearse our show.
129
00:08:24,506 --> 00:08:26,016
Huh.
130
00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:30,424
Say, I was wondering, since
you're private eyes under cover
131
00:08:30,448 --> 00:08:31,793
I thought you'd use cover names.
132
00:08:31,817 --> 00:08:33,862
Uh, no, no, no.
Just Bosley, Sabrina.
133
00:08:33,886 --> 00:08:34,964
That'll be fine.
134
00:08:34,988 --> 00:08:36,400
And you haven't any
assignment for me?
135
00:08:36,424 --> 00:08:38,804
Someone to put
a tail on? Nothing?
136
00:08:38,828 --> 00:08:40,006
Uh, look, I'll tell you what.
137
00:08:40,030 --> 00:08:41,474
Now, it's dangerous
138
00:08:41,498 --> 00:08:42,610
but maybe you can help us.
139
00:08:42,634 --> 00:08:44,646
You think he can handle it?
140
00:08:44,670 --> 00:08:47,551
I don't know, boss lady. Maybe.
141
00:08:47,575 --> 00:08:49,254
You know karate, Mr. Pawl?
142
00:08:49,278 --> 00:08:50,656
Uh, no.
143
00:08:50,680 --> 00:08:53,026
That's good. We don't want
dead heroes on our hands,
144
00:08:53,050 --> 00:08:54,028
you know what I mean?
145
00:08:54,052 --> 00:08:55,831
Okay, here's your assignment.
146
00:08:55,855 --> 00:09:00,238
Now, from now on,
you'll be known as Big X.
147
00:09:00,262 --> 00:09:02,308
From this point on... Big X.
148
00:09:02,332 --> 00:09:03,409
Now, you just go about
149
00:09:03,433 --> 00:09:04,811
the pageant routine normally
150
00:09:04,835 --> 00:09:07,783
unless one of us gives you
the code word Beau Geste.
151
00:09:07,807 --> 00:09:08,951
Beau Geste... you got that?
152
00:09:08,975 --> 00:09:10,220
Beau Geste.
153
00:09:10,244 --> 00:09:11,822
If you hear that,
go to the phone
154
00:09:11,846 --> 00:09:12,824
you call information.
155
00:09:12,848 --> 00:09:14,694
Now, the operator
that answers you
156
00:09:14,718 --> 00:09:18,700
you ask her for the
service repair number.
157
00:09:18,724 --> 00:09:21,872
That operator will
be one of our people.
158
00:09:21,896 --> 00:09:23,375
They'll know what to do.
159
00:09:23,399 --> 00:09:24,577
You got it?
160
00:09:24,601 --> 00:09:25,678
Yeah. I'm Big X.
161
00:09:25,702 --> 00:09:27,447
Shh!
162
00:09:27,471 --> 00:09:30,218
Code word: Beau Geste.
163
00:09:30,242 --> 00:09:31,688
I call information,
164
00:09:31,712 --> 00:09:34,191
and I ask your operative
for the repair service number.
165
00:09:34,215 --> 00:09:37,096
From this moment on
166
00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:38,899
you make no mention
of your instructions.
167
00:09:38,923 --> 00:09:40,101
Oh, I understand.
168
00:09:40,125 --> 00:09:41,336
You better, pigeon,
169
00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:43,495
because you're into
this up to your neck.
170
00:09:44,732 --> 00:09:47,245
Okay, let's get this
show on the road.
171
00:09:47,269 --> 00:09:48,881
Let's get this shot.
172
00:09:48,905 --> 00:09:50,284
The first thing I'd like to get
173
00:09:50,308 --> 00:09:51,953
is a big close-up, full screen.
174
00:09:51,977 --> 00:09:53,690
This isn't for real, is it?
175
00:09:53,714 --> 00:09:55,292
I mean, this isn't
really going to be
176
00:09:55,316 --> 00:09:56,694
on a network
television news show?
177
00:09:56,718 --> 00:09:58,496
Oh, uh, you bet it is, Mr. Pawl.
178
00:09:58,520 --> 00:10:00,634
You see, uh, we're
private detectives.
179
00:10:00,658 --> 00:10:03,338
We got to pick up a
dollar here, a dollar there.
180
00:10:03,362 --> 00:10:04,673
Every little bit helps.
181
00:10:04,697 --> 00:10:06,309
Okay, you ready?
You ready, Mr. Bosley?
182
00:10:06,333 --> 00:10:08,912
Right. And roll 'em!
183
00:10:08,936 --> 00:10:10,281
Hi there.
184
00:10:10,305 --> 00:10:12,786
Welcome to the Miss
Chrysanthemum Festival Pageant.
185
00:10:12,810 --> 00:10:14,856
Cut! Print! Perfect!
186
00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:16,091
Thanks.
187
00:10:16,115 --> 00:10:17,627
Mr. Pawl?
188
00:10:17,651 --> 00:10:18,862
Excuse me.
189
00:10:18,886 --> 00:10:19,964
Mm-hmm.
190
00:10:21,457 --> 00:10:24,170
Do you think that'll
keep him out of our hair?
191
00:10:24,194 --> 00:10:25,339
Yeah, I think so.
192
00:10:25,363 --> 00:10:27,141
That coupled with pointing
this camera at his face
193
00:10:27,165 --> 00:10:28,310
from time to time.
194
00:10:28,334 --> 00:10:30,647
Well, let's see... A.H. and V.G.
195
00:10:30,671 --> 00:10:31,683
Right.
196
00:10:31,707 --> 00:10:33,151
Okay, girls
197
00:10:33,175 --> 00:10:35,188
let's try it with the
words this time.
198
00:10:35,212 --> 00:10:39,428
One, two, three, four...
199
00:10:39,452 --> 00:10:40,797
♪ Hi there! Hello! ♪
200
00:10:40,821 --> 00:10:42,933
♪ We're glad That
you could show ♪
201
00:10:42,957 --> 00:10:46,907
♪ For the Chrysanthemum
Festival Pageant ♪
202
00:10:46,931 --> 00:10:50,178
♪ From far and near
We girls came here ♪
203
00:10:50,202 --> 00:10:56,455
♪ To try to be queen
Of your pageant ♪
204
00:10:56,479 --> 00:10:57,724
♪ Hi there! Hello! ♪
205
00:10:57,748 --> 00:11:00,160
♪ We're glad That
you could show ♪
206
00:11:00,184 --> 00:11:04,668
♪ For the Chrysanthemum
Festival Pageant ♪
207
00:11:04,692 --> 00:11:07,606
♪ Who will be queen
When you are all seen ♪
208
00:11:07,630 --> 00:11:10,076
♪ At the Chrysanthemum ♪
209
00:11:10,100 --> 00:11:11,946
♪ Festival Pageant ♪
210
00:11:11,970 --> 00:11:17,421
♪ The Chrysanthemum
Festival Pageant ♪♪
211
00:11:17,445 --> 00:11:18,790
Bravo!
212
00:11:18,814 --> 00:11:20,192
Great, girls.
213
00:11:20,216 --> 00:11:22,663
Listen, ladies,
we're all going to be
214
00:11:22,688 --> 00:11:24,433
on a network television
news program.
215
00:11:26,193 --> 00:11:28,473
Mr. Bosley, he's the
one with the camera,
216
00:11:28,497 --> 00:11:30,442
and Sabrina,
she's the boss lady,
217
00:11:30,466 --> 00:11:31,744
are making a documentary.
218
00:11:31,768 --> 00:11:33,313
So when the camera's rolling,
219
00:11:33,337 --> 00:11:35,984
let's give them all the
sparkle and sincerity
220
00:11:36,008 --> 00:11:38,188
you want all your friends
and relatives at home to see.
221
00:11:38,212 --> 00:11:39,189
Right, boss lady?
222
00:11:39,213 --> 00:11:41,092
Oh, right. That's right.
223
00:11:41,116 --> 00:11:42,394
And this is my
arranger, conductor
224
00:11:42,418 --> 00:11:44,798
and all-around man
Friday. Say hello to Henry.
225
00:11:44,822 --> 00:11:46,634
Hi Henry. My pleasure.
226
00:11:46,658 --> 00:11:49,372
Let me introduce the
contestants to you.
227
00:11:49,396 --> 00:11:50,875
This young lady
is here from Texas.
228
00:11:50,899 --> 00:11:52,677
Billie Jolene. Howdy.
229
00:11:52,701 --> 00:11:53,779
Hello.
230
00:11:53,803 --> 00:11:55,549
And Debbie from London, England.
231
00:11:55,573 --> 00:11:56,951
Hello. Hello.
232
00:11:56,975 --> 00:11:58,486
Grace Cooley, California Miss.
233
00:11:58,510 --> 00:11:59,488
Hi.
234
00:11:59,512 --> 00:12:01,658
Holly from the Empire
State of New York.
235
00:12:01,682 --> 00:12:02,994
Hi.
236
00:12:03,018 --> 00:12:05,130
And one of our late entrants
237
00:12:05,154 --> 00:12:07,568
that I haven't even met
yet. And who are you?
238
00:12:07,592 --> 00:12:09,838
Hi. I'm Kris, and I'm
from Macon, Georgia.
239
00:12:09,862 --> 00:12:11,674
How far is that
from Plains, Kris?
240
00:12:11,698 --> 00:12:13,977
Oh, gosh, I don't really know.
241
00:12:14,001 --> 00:12:16,782
This is the first time I've
ever been outside of Macon.
242
00:12:16,806 --> 00:12:17,817
This is really exciting.
243
00:12:17,841 --> 00:12:19,218
Okay, now, we'd like to get
244
00:12:19,243 --> 00:12:21,545
a little informal rehearsal
around the piano.
245
00:12:24,485 --> 00:12:28,222
Just too far away to
see her good, Hubie.
246
00:12:35,469 --> 00:12:38,483
And as the girls are
around the piano...
247
00:12:38,507 --> 00:12:40,742
Big smile, big smile.
248
00:13:42,408 --> 00:13:44,420
How close did you
say the shot came?
249
00:13:44,444 --> 00:13:46,523
Okay, it was about
three feet to my left
250
00:13:46,547 --> 00:13:48,360
and about four
feet in front of me.
251
00:13:48,384 --> 00:13:49,495
Maybe you're right
252
00:13:49,519 --> 00:13:51,298
and they really
weren't trying to hit you.
253
00:13:51,322 --> 00:13:53,602
No, no, considering how
many more bad shots there are
254
00:13:53,626 --> 00:13:55,672
in this world than good,
I wouldn't bet on that.
255
00:13:55,696 --> 00:13:56,807
I don't know.
256
00:13:56,831 --> 00:13:59,211
They were moving right
after the shot was fired.
257
00:13:59,235 --> 00:14:01,347
And they were way
back from the roof's edge
258
00:14:01,371 --> 00:14:02,983
by the time I got to my window.
259
00:14:03,007 --> 00:14:05,020
Now, if they wanted to hit me
260
00:14:05,044 --> 00:14:07,524
why didn't they wait to fire
again in case they missed?
261
00:14:07,548 --> 00:14:09,761
I mean, they didn't
know I had a gun.
262
00:14:09,785 --> 00:14:11,197
Which, I suspect,
puts us right back
263
00:14:11,221 --> 00:14:12,999
where we started from.
264
00:14:13,023 --> 00:14:15,103
That's about right, Bosley.
265
00:14:15,127 --> 00:14:18,708
And I don't care if there's
only one contestant left.
266
00:14:18,732 --> 00:14:19,777
The show must go on.
267
00:14:19,801 --> 00:14:22,047
There has to be a
Miss Chrysanthemum.
268
00:14:22,071 --> 00:14:23,349
Why?
269
00:14:23,373 --> 00:14:25,753
Young girls, sir,
270
00:14:25,777 --> 00:14:30,560
grow up dreaming of
this moment in their lives.
271
00:14:30,584 --> 00:14:33,031
They dedicate themselves.
272
00:14:33,055 --> 00:14:34,233
We've already
spent all the money
273
00:14:34,257 --> 00:14:36,904
that the sponsors have put up.
274
00:14:36,928 --> 00:14:39,809
Good point, Si.
275
00:14:39,833 --> 00:14:42,579
Then we all agree.
We'll tell the audience
276
00:14:42,603 --> 00:14:45,851
that the preliminary judging
was held in the morning,
277
00:14:45,875 --> 00:14:48,054
so that we could give more
time to the eleven contestants
278
00:14:48,078 --> 00:14:49,957
who are left who
are our semi-finalists,
279
00:14:49,981 --> 00:14:53,462
That's your department, Ben,
you handle it anyway you like.
280
00:14:53,487 --> 00:14:57,603
Oh, if you want, I can sing
my winning aria from last year,
281
00:14:57,627 --> 00:15:00,641
you remember, from
Wagner, you know
282
00:15:00,665 --> 00:15:03,146
when I wear the
hat with the horns.
283
00:15:10,047 --> 00:15:14,163
♪ For the Chrysanthemum
Festival Pageant ♪
284
00:15:14,187 --> 00:15:19,003
♪ From far and near
We girls came here ♪
285
00:15:19,027 --> 00:15:23,010
♪ To try and be queen
Of your pageant ♪
286
00:15:23,034 --> 00:15:25,848
♪ Hi there! Hello! ♪
287
00:15:25,872 --> 00:15:27,450
♪ We're glad that
you could show ♪
288
00:15:27,474 --> 00:15:31,557
♪ For the Chrysanthemum
Festival Pageant ♪
289
00:15:31,581 --> 00:15:33,994
♪ Who will be queen ♪
290
00:15:34,018 --> 00:15:35,730
♪ When you are all seen ♪
291
00:15:35,754 --> 00:15:40,771
♪ At the Chrysanthemum
Festival Pageant ♪
292
00:15:40,795 --> 00:15:45,134
♪ The Chrysanthemum
Festival Pageant ♪♪
293
00:15:47,239 --> 00:15:49,919
All right, let's
try it from, uh...
294
00:15:49,943 --> 00:15:51,554
after the crisscross, all right?
295
00:15:51,578 --> 00:15:55,495
Form a straight line.
296
00:15:55,519 --> 00:15:58,199
Good. Ready,
now left foot first.
297
00:15:58,223 --> 00:15:59,734
Hit it, Henry.
298
00:15:59,758 --> 00:16:01,570
Five, six, seven, eight...
299
00:16:03,331 --> 00:16:05,511
♪ Hi there! Hello! ♪
Smile, girls.
300
00:16:05,535 --> 00:16:07,113
♪ We're glad that
You could show ♪
301
00:16:07,137 --> 00:16:08,315
Good.
302
00:16:08,339 --> 00:16:09,750
♪ For the Chrysanthemum
Festival Pageant ♪
303
00:16:09,774 --> 00:16:13,089
Sing out! sing out!
304
00:16:13,113 --> 00:16:16,428
♪ From far and near,
We girls came here ♪
305
00:16:16,452 --> 00:16:21,036
♪ To try to be queen
Of your pageant ♪
306
00:16:21,060 --> 00:16:24,106
♪ Hi there! Hello! ♪
307
00:16:33,912 --> 00:16:34,913
It's cut.
308
00:16:51,607 --> 00:16:53,419
I'll check the exit, Bosley.
309
00:17:00,688 --> 00:17:02,567
All right!
310
00:17:02,591 --> 00:17:04,170
Bosley!
311
00:17:04,194 --> 00:17:06,773
What are you doing
with Kris' pigeons?
312
00:17:06,797 --> 00:17:08,110
Kris' pigeons?
313
00:17:08,134 --> 00:17:10,881
Oh... yeah, they're
for a magic act.
314
00:17:10,905 --> 00:17:13,985
Why were they
skulking in that closet?
315
00:17:14,010 --> 00:17:15,922
They were not skulking, Bosley.
316
00:17:15,946 --> 00:17:17,525
Pigeons can't skulk.
317
00:17:17,549 --> 00:17:18,692
Well, these can.
318
00:17:18,716 --> 00:17:20,029
They were skulking in there.
319
00:17:20,053 --> 00:17:21,664
They are skulking pigeons.
320
00:17:21,688 --> 00:17:23,434
Ooh!
321
00:17:23,458 --> 00:17:24,769
Uh, Bosley?
322
00:17:24,793 --> 00:17:25,803
Yes?
323
00:17:25,827 --> 00:17:27,640
Do you suppose that sandbag
324
00:17:27,664 --> 00:17:29,677
was supposed to hurt
somebody or scare somebody?
325
00:17:29,701 --> 00:17:31,813
I don't know, I don't
know, but either way
326
00:17:31,837 --> 00:17:33,950
sooner or later, somebody
is going to get hurt.
327
00:17:33,974 --> 00:17:39,526
Well, a 50-pound sandbag or
a rifle doesn't hurt anybody...
328
00:17:39,550 --> 00:17:41,663
It kills them.
329
00:17:41,687 --> 00:17:44,589
You explain to Kris how
you let her pigeons out.
330
00:17:48,163 --> 00:17:50,065
Oh, I'll get it.
331
00:17:52,270 --> 00:17:53,815
Hello? Oh, sure.
332
00:17:53,839 --> 00:17:57,477
For you the telephone,
Herr Dearborn.
333
00:18:04,356 --> 00:18:06,402
This is Si Dearborn.
334
00:18:06,426 --> 00:18:08,906
This here is the money man.
335
00:18:08,930 --> 00:18:11,676
You made up your mind
about the proposition yet?
336
00:18:11,700 --> 00:18:13,480
Is that your best offer?
337
00:18:13,504 --> 00:18:15,449
You know, Mr. Dearborn,
338
00:18:15,473 --> 00:18:20,424
for a man whose fried clam
franchises is going to the dogs
339
00:18:20,448 --> 00:18:25,332
for the want of some cold
cash, you sure do dance a lot.
340
00:18:25,356 --> 00:18:27,067
Is it yes or no?
341
00:18:27,091 --> 00:18:29,539
All right, it's a deal.
342
00:18:29,563 --> 00:18:31,297
Go to the men's room.
343
00:18:51,029 --> 00:18:52,007
Enjoy the money...
344
00:18:52,031 --> 00:18:56,113
and don't let us
down, Mr. Dearborn.
345
00:18:56,137 --> 00:18:58,105
I won't.
346
00:19:01,045 --> 00:19:03,826
I believe in modesty just
as much as the next girl,
347
00:19:03,850 --> 00:19:07,064
but this is not exactly
the 1940's, and besides,
348
00:19:07,088 --> 00:19:10,269
all the girls got the
lace off their dresses.
349
00:19:10,293 --> 00:19:12,507
If we didn't we'd look like...
350
00:19:12,531 --> 00:19:15,110
I don't know what
we'd look like.
351
00:19:15,134 --> 00:19:17,314
Honey, you don't
wanna wear that color.
352
00:19:17,338 --> 00:19:19,718
Oh, I kind of like it.
353
00:19:19,742 --> 00:19:21,120
Yeah? Well, so do I.
354
00:19:21,144 --> 00:19:23,090
That's why you're
not going to wear it.
355
00:19:23,114 --> 00:19:24,659
Why don't you try the green?
356
00:19:24,683 --> 00:19:27,062
I don't think so.
357
00:19:27,086 --> 00:19:29,065
Well, try any color you want,
358
00:19:29,089 --> 00:19:30,702
except my apricot.
359
00:19:30,726 --> 00:19:34,374
I mean, you're free
to choose the apricot,
360
00:19:34,398 --> 00:19:37,279
if you want, but I
wouldn't be surprised
361
00:19:37,303 --> 00:19:39,582
if the seams just... came
apart while you were on stage.
362
00:19:39,606 --> 00:19:42,754
Things like that happen all
the time in beauty pageants.
363
00:19:42,778 --> 00:19:44,980
So embarrassing!
364
00:19:55,532 --> 00:19:56,676
Ah, hello, there.
365
00:19:56,700 --> 00:19:57,711
Hello.
366
00:19:57,735 --> 00:19:59,113
Fred Olsen here.
367
00:19:59,137 --> 00:20:01,150
You're the photographer,
and you're the boss, right?
368
00:20:01,174 --> 00:20:02,319
Well, thank you, I guess.
369
00:20:02,343 --> 00:20:03,921
What do you think
of my little girl?
370
00:20:03,945 --> 00:20:05,222
Uh, which little girl?
371
00:20:05,246 --> 00:20:07,058
Well, she's not my little girl.
372
00:20:07,082 --> 00:20:09,062
She's my number one
client, Grace Cooley.
373
00:20:09,086 --> 00:20:11,700
Just a minute, she's
right here. Grace?
374
00:20:11,724 --> 00:20:13,503
She called me and
told me you were here
375
00:20:13,527 --> 00:20:15,506
and here I am to help
out wherever I can.
376
00:20:15,530 --> 00:20:16,608
Oh, sure, sure.
377
00:20:16,632 --> 00:20:17,610
Hi.
378
00:20:17,634 --> 00:20:19,346
Hi. Hello.
379
00:20:19,370 --> 00:20:20,547
Is that the next
Miss Chrysanthemum
380
00:20:20,571 --> 00:20:22,851
or is that the next
Miss Chrysanthemum?
381
00:20:22,875 --> 00:20:25,288
Well, uh, she's very pretty.
382
00:20:25,312 --> 00:20:26,724
She's going to win.
383
00:20:26,748 --> 00:20:30,330
Now, what I'm willing to
do is give you an exclusive.
384
00:20:30,354 --> 00:20:32,199
You key your film on Grace
385
00:20:32,223 --> 00:20:33,201
then when she wins
386
00:20:33,225 --> 00:20:34,837
you scoop the whole TV world.
387
00:20:34,861 --> 00:20:35,971
How does that grab you?
388
00:20:35,995 --> 00:20:42,181
We will give that
some... serious thought.
389
00:20:42,205 --> 00:20:44,117
What? So, nothing ventured,
nothing gained, right?
390
00:20:44,141 --> 00:20:46,522
I mean, like, we set it up
with charm, we're ahead, right?
391
00:20:46,546 --> 00:20:47,790
Yes.
392
00:20:47,814 --> 00:20:49,393
All right, look, let's
talk a little money.
393
00:20:49,417 --> 00:20:52,898
You key on Gracie,
there's 50 bucks in it for you.
394
00:20:52,922 --> 00:20:54,468
50 bucks?
395
00:20:54,492 --> 00:20:56,371
What do you care
who you feature, right?
396
00:20:56,395 --> 00:20:57,728
Wrong, Fred.
397
00:21:02,471 --> 00:21:03,482
When I'm on top
398
00:21:03,506 --> 00:21:05,419
and you come to me for a favor
399
00:21:05,443 --> 00:21:07,622
you know what you'll get?
400
00:21:07,646 --> 00:21:10,761
Bupkis is what you'll get!
401
00:21:10,785 --> 00:21:13,019
Watch... bupkis!
402
00:21:39,697 --> 00:21:41,843
Howdy, ma'am.
403
00:21:41,867 --> 00:21:44,502
Wonder if we might have
a minute of your time?
404
00:21:52,416 --> 00:21:54,329
I most certainly will not.
405
00:21:54,353 --> 00:21:56,499
Not for a million dollars.
406
00:22:19,159 --> 00:22:20,236
She's gone.
407
00:22:20,260 --> 00:22:21,405
She's disappeared.
408
00:22:21,429 --> 00:22:22,508
She's been snatched.
409
00:22:22,532 --> 00:22:23,775
What makes you so sure?
410
00:22:23,799 --> 00:22:26,847
Millicent Farber
never misses a meal.
411
00:22:26,871 --> 00:22:28,650
Isn't this the time for
someone to give me
412
00:22:28,674 --> 00:22:29,652
the Beau Geste signal, boss?
413
00:22:29,676 --> 00:22:31,989
Not yet, Ben, no, no.
414
00:22:32,013 --> 00:22:33,491
My nerves can take it.
415
00:22:33,515 --> 00:22:35,928
I've already contacted
another judge
416
00:22:35,952 --> 00:22:38,799
to replace Millicent,
Hazel Spaulding.
417
00:22:38,823 --> 00:22:40,636
She's flying in tonight.
418
00:22:40,660 --> 00:22:42,271
She's judged here before.
419
00:22:42,295 --> 00:22:44,441
Hi, Mr. Bosley.
420
00:22:44,465 --> 00:22:46,879
Hi, Mr. Pawl.
421
00:22:46,903 --> 00:22:48,381
Hi, girls.
422
00:22:48,405 --> 00:22:49,716
Hi, Grace.
423
00:22:49,740 --> 00:22:51,720
Bye, Grace.
424
00:22:51,744 --> 00:22:53,657
I met that kid's agent.
425
00:22:53,681 --> 00:22:56,962
He says she's from
a really poor family.
426
00:22:56,986 --> 00:22:59,298
Breaks your heart.
427
00:22:59,322 --> 00:23:02,370
Oh, yeah, it really does.
428
00:23:02,394 --> 00:23:04,339
I'll be leaving for
the opening festivities
429
00:23:04,363 --> 00:23:05,709
in about half an hour.
430
00:23:05,733 --> 00:23:08,001
The pageant rises
when the sun sets.
431
00:23:12,243 --> 00:23:16,525
You think something really did
happen to that judge, Millicent?
432
00:23:16,549 --> 00:23:18,261
Well, there's a,
there's a chance.
433
00:23:18,285 --> 00:23:19,764
But I don't know.
434
00:23:19,788 --> 00:23:20,933
It doesn't fit the pattern.
435
00:23:20,957 --> 00:23:22,367
Up till now, everything
436
00:23:22,391 --> 00:23:23,971
has been done to
scare off the contestants.
437
00:23:23,995 --> 00:23:25,840
Well, all we can do
is stay on our toes
438
00:23:25,864 --> 00:23:27,978
and hope for a break.
439
00:23:28,002 --> 00:23:30,514
I'll take the camera and
set up in front of the stage.
440
00:23:30,538 --> 00:23:32,517
Okay, well, Kelly and
I are going to be pretty
441
00:23:32,541 --> 00:23:33,552
tied up with the pageant.
442
00:23:33,576 --> 00:23:34,989
Maybe Bree ought to
help us out backstage.
443
00:23:35,013 --> 00:23:35,990
I don't think so.
444
00:23:36,014 --> 00:23:37,726
I think I ought to
cover the airport,
445
00:23:37,750 --> 00:23:39,161
cover the new judge.
446
00:23:39,185 --> 00:23:42,166
I mean, if somebody
did kidnap Millicent
447
00:23:42,190 --> 00:23:44,069
they might try to grab
the new judge too.
448
00:23:44,093 --> 00:23:45,438
Well, that makes as much sense
449
00:23:45,462 --> 00:23:46,974
as anything else
that's happened.
450
00:23:46,998 --> 00:23:48,777
If you'll excuse me,
451
00:23:48,801 --> 00:23:50,212
I have to rehearse my
introductory speech.
452
00:23:50,236 --> 00:23:51,313
See you later.
453
00:23:51,337 --> 00:23:56,555
Yeah... Oh, oh,
listen, I do too.
454
00:23:56,579 --> 00:23:58,224
I-I'll see you later.
455
00:23:58,248 --> 00:24:00,863
You know they
really do want to win.
456
00:24:00,887 --> 00:24:05,325
It, uh... It looks that way.
457
00:24:09,233 --> 00:24:11,980
We ain't asking for
the moon, ma'am.
458
00:24:12,004 --> 00:24:15,518
I am worth upwards of six
million dollars, young man,
459
00:24:15,542 --> 00:24:16,754
but if I were penniless
460
00:24:16,778 --> 00:24:19,114
I wouldn't sell my vote.
461
00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:32,179
Help!
462
00:24:32,203 --> 00:24:34,115
Help!
463
00:24:34,139 --> 00:24:36,341
Please, ma'am,
don't be doing that.
464
00:24:42,052 --> 00:24:43,330
Hey, Hube.
465
00:24:43,354 --> 00:24:45,867
Them pageant people
got a new judge coming in
466
00:24:45,891 --> 00:24:47,302
to replace the old biddy here.
467
00:24:47,326 --> 00:24:48,772
Guess who it is?
468
00:24:48,796 --> 00:24:51,308
You think we ought to be talking
about that with her listening?
469
00:24:51,332 --> 00:24:53,379
I mean, she's got us
by the short hairs already
470
00:24:53,403 --> 00:24:54,580
if she talks to the law.
471
00:24:54,604 --> 00:24:56,550
Hmm... True, true.
472
00:24:56,574 --> 00:24:58,576
Come here.
473
00:25:02,851 --> 00:25:04,997
Now, you know the
name of that lady judge
474
00:25:05,021 --> 00:25:07,401
that they is counting
on being here, but wasn't
475
00:25:07,425 --> 00:25:11,775
because they decided to use last
year's queen as a judge instead?
476
00:25:11,799 --> 00:25:12,877
Hazel Spaulding.
477
00:25:12,901 --> 00:25:14,746
That's who's coming, buddy.
478
00:25:14,770 --> 00:25:17,317
Well, we got it made
in the shade, old boy.
479
00:25:17,341 --> 00:25:19,154
Except for that
old biddy in there.
480
00:25:19,178 --> 00:25:21,056
No sweat.
481
00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:23,459
When we call
C.J., and tell him...
482
00:25:24,752 --> 00:25:25,830
What was that?
483
00:25:25,855 --> 00:25:28,137
The old biddy
fell off her barrel.
484
00:25:31,931 --> 00:25:33,742
When we call C.J. and tell him
485
00:25:33,766 --> 00:25:36,514
how we got everything
took care of down here
486
00:25:36,538 --> 00:25:38,117
he's going to be so owing to us
487
00:25:38,141 --> 00:25:40,287
that he'll just start handing
488
00:25:40,311 --> 00:25:42,991
her money and just
keep on handing it to her
489
00:25:43,015 --> 00:25:44,426
till she can't say no.
490
00:25:44,450 --> 00:25:46,931
She says she's already
worth six million, Earl.
491
00:25:46,955 --> 00:25:49,334
Oh, well, that could
be a problem, I reckon.
492
00:25:49,358 --> 00:25:52,372
But hey, let's just take
this thing one boot at a time.
493
00:25:52,396 --> 00:25:53,975
And the first thing we got to do
494
00:25:53,999 --> 00:25:55,510
is go see that new judge
495
00:25:55,534 --> 00:25:57,180
and get that all squared away.
496
00:25:57,204 --> 00:25:58,816
So, let's be moving, partner.
497
00:25:58,840 --> 00:26:01,686
Shouldn't one of us stay
here and watch the old biddy?
498
00:26:01,710 --> 00:26:05,526
Well, now, did you ever
hear of anybody or anything
499
00:26:05,550 --> 00:26:07,463
getting loose from
a rope that I tied
500
00:26:07,487 --> 00:26:08,899
if I didn't want them to?
501
00:26:08,923 --> 00:26:10,200
Never once, Earl.
502
00:26:10,224 --> 00:26:12,746
All right, then, let's go, pard.
503
00:26:26,617 --> 00:26:28,462
Ladies and gentlemen
504
00:26:28,486 --> 00:26:29,965
flight 411 just arrived.
505
00:26:29,989 --> 00:26:31,268
Connections for Iowa City...
506
00:26:31,292 --> 00:26:32,836
Miss Spaulding?
507
00:26:32,860 --> 00:26:34,606
Husker Junction
and Beansborough.
508
00:26:34,630 --> 00:26:35,807
Get your luggage ready, please.
509
00:26:35,831 --> 00:26:37,672
You're Hazel Spaulding, right?
510
00:26:38,036 --> 00:26:39,380
Yes.
511
00:26:39,404 --> 00:26:41,683
How would you like to
make $2000 cash money?
512
00:26:41,707 --> 00:26:43,353
We'd like to buy
your first place vote
513
00:26:43,377 --> 00:26:44,487
in that beauty contest, ma'am.
514
00:26:44,511 --> 00:26:45,489
For $2000.
515
00:26:45,513 --> 00:26:47,692
If you don't, uh,
516
00:26:47,716 --> 00:26:49,296
we're going to have
to tell your husband
517
00:26:49,320 --> 00:26:51,232
about you and that
Mr. Pawl, that emcee fella.
518
00:26:51,256 --> 00:26:52,767
About how him and you, uh...
519
00:26:52,791 --> 00:26:57,708
Well, about them private
all-night singing lessons
520
00:26:57,732 --> 00:26:58,911
you and him give each other
521
00:26:58,935 --> 00:27:00,113
every time you come down here
522
00:27:00,137 --> 00:27:01,281
to judge one of
them beauty contests.
523
00:27:01,305 --> 00:27:02,817
We'll do it too, ma'am.
524
00:27:02,841 --> 00:27:06,022
Take the money, ma'am.
525
00:27:06,046 --> 00:27:07,247
You've got a deal.
526
00:27:34,892 --> 00:27:36,604
Ladies and gentlemen...
527
00:27:36,628 --> 00:27:37,939
to personally greet you
528
00:27:37,963 --> 00:27:41,745
Freebairn's own
Chrysanthemum Festival girls.
529
00:27:41,769 --> 00:27:42,946
Hi, there.
530
00:27:42,971 --> 00:27:43,948
Hi, there.
531
00:27:43,972 --> 00:27:45,418
Hi, there.
532
00:27:45,442 --> 00:27:46,987
Hi, there.
533
00:27:47,011 --> 00:27:49,290
Hi, there.
534
00:27:49,314 --> 00:27:50,381
Hi, there.
535
00:27:51,718 --> 00:27:53,297
Hi, there.
536
00:27:53,321 --> 00:27:54,832
Hi, there.
537
00:27:54,856 --> 00:27:56,736
Hi, there.
538
00:27:56,760 --> 00:27:58,972
Hi, there.
539
00:27:58,996 --> 00:28:01,009
Hi, there.
540
00:28:01,033 --> 00:28:02,034
Hello!
541
00:28:04,205 --> 00:28:05,750
♪ Hi, there hello ♪
542
00:28:05,774 --> 00:28:08,421
♪ We're glad That
you could show ♪
543
00:28:08,445 --> 00:28:11,825
♪ For the Chrysanthemum
Festival Pageant ♪
544
00:28:11,849 --> 00:28:13,963
♪ From far and near ♪
545
00:28:13,987 --> 00:28:16,633
♪ We girls came here ♪
546
00:28:16,657 --> 00:28:20,073
♪ To try to be Queen
of your pageant ♪
547
00:28:20,097 --> 00:28:22,109
♪ Hi there, hello ♪
548
00:28:22,133 --> 00:28:25,581
♪ We're glad That
you could show ♪
549
00:28:25,605 --> 00:28:29,053
♪ For the Chrysanthemum
Festival Pageant ♪
550
00:28:29,077 --> 00:28:33,127
♪ Who will be queen
When you're all seen ♪
551
00:28:33,151 --> 00:28:37,666
♪ At the Chrysanthemum
Festival Pageant ♪
552
00:28:37,690 --> 00:28:42,641
♪ The Chrysanthemum
Festival Pageant ♪♪
553
00:28:48,308 --> 00:28:50,754
And here they are!
554
00:28:50,778 --> 00:28:52,957
Our bevy of loveliness!
555
00:28:52,981 --> 00:28:55,862
Our first semi-finalist
is Miss Kris Munroe.
556
00:28:55,886 --> 00:28:57,232
Kris is from the home state
557
00:28:57,256 --> 00:28:59,301
of our president,
Mr. Jimmy Carter
558
00:28:59,325 --> 00:29:01,605
Miss Lillian's baby
boy, God bless him.
559
00:29:01,629 --> 00:29:03,307
Kris is from Macon, Georgia,
560
00:29:03,331 --> 00:29:05,878
a true belle of the old south.
561
00:29:05,902 --> 00:29:07,181
Her big dream is
562
00:29:07,205 --> 00:29:10,185
to become our queen, Miss
Chrysanthemum Festival
563
00:29:10,209 --> 00:29:12,456
and then go on to help mankind.
564
00:29:12,480 --> 00:29:14,392
Hi, y'all.
565
00:29:16,286 --> 00:29:19,433
Let's start off this
most important interview
566
00:29:19,457 --> 00:29:20,969
with an easy question, Kris.
567
00:29:20,993 --> 00:29:23,873
What's your favorite
color, and why?
568
00:29:23,897 --> 00:29:25,609
Well, actually, Mr. Pawl...
569
00:29:25,633 --> 00:29:27,312
I have more than
one favorite color.
570
00:29:27,336 --> 00:29:29,650
Well, that's all
right with us, Kris.
571
00:29:29,674 --> 00:29:31,152
Right, ladies and gentlemen?
572
00:29:36,784 --> 00:29:41,000
My favorite colors
are red, white and blue
573
00:29:41,024 --> 00:29:43,960
because they are the
colors of our flag of freedom.
574
00:29:51,241 --> 00:29:54,622
Here's our next
semi-finalist, Miss California...
575
00:29:54,646 --> 00:29:55,647
Grace Cooley.
576
00:30:00,822 --> 00:30:03,269
Here's your first
question, Grace.
577
00:30:03,293 --> 00:30:04,838
What is your favorite color...?
578
00:30:04,862 --> 00:30:06,741
And why?
579
00:30:06,765 --> 00:30:10,414
Well, I was going to
say red, white and blue
580
00:30:10,438 --> 00:30:12,150
but somebody already said it.
581
00:30:44,124 --> 00:30:45,569
Yeah, C.J.
582
00:30:45,593 --> 00:30:49,342
and the both of them is
going to vote her numero uno.
583
00:30:49,366 --> 00:30:52,180
Well, now that you've
done it. I'm going to tell you
584
00:30:52,204 --> 00:30:54,617
just how much my baby
girl winning that contest
585
00:30:54,641 --> 00:30:56,119
means to me.
586
00:30:56,143 --> 00:31:00,493
As a daddy, I am
plain damn proud.
587
00:31:00,517 --> 00:31:03,765
As a businessman,
I got stockholders.
588
00:31:03,789 --> 00:31:05,568
But ain't none of
them going to argue
589
00:31:05,592 --> 00:31:07,604
that a beauty queen
ain't the one to do
590
00:31:07,628 --> 00:31:10,174
our TV pink grapefruit
commercials now.
591
00:31:10,198 --> 00:31:11,744
And you two good old boys
592
00:31:11,768 --> 00:31:14,148
will find a big, fat thank you
593
00:31:14,172 --> 00:31:16,385
in your envelope come payday.
594
00:31:16,409 --> 00:31:18,254
Best tell him about
the old biddy now.
595
00:31:18,278 --> 00:31:19,724
Couldn't hear that. What?
596
00:31:19,748 --> 00:31:23,028
Uh, that was Hubie
talking to me, C.J.
597
00:31:23,052 --> 00:31:25,900
Uh, C.J., we got a
little problem here.
598
00:31:25,924 --> 00:31:28,136
Well, what kind of
little problem, Earl?
599
00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:30,240
Well, sir, it seems
that we kind of...
600
00:31:30,264 --> 00:31:33,245
Well... We kind of
kidnapped an old lady.
601
00:31:33,269 --> 00:31:34,381
You what?
602
00:31:34,405 --> 00:31:36,015
She was a judge, C.J., and...
603
00:31:36,040 --> 00:31:37,853
Well, she wouldn't take
the money we offered her.
604
00:31:37,877 --> 00:31:40,556
And then she started yelling
and hollering and carrying on.
605
00:31:40,580 --> 00:31:41,658
We didn't know what to do
606
00:31:41,682 --> 00:31:43,261
so we took her out
to an old warehouse.
607
00:31:43,285 --> 00:31:45,264
She ain't hurt none.
608
00:31:45,288 --> 00:31:46,566
You two got less sense
609
00:31:46,590 --> 00:31:48,770
than a hound dog trying
to catch him a skunk.
610
00:31:48,794 --> 00:31:50,572
That's maybe a life
sentence in a federal prison.
611
00:31:50,596 --> 00:31:51,941
Do you know that?
612
00:31:51,965 --> 00:31:55,947
I am going to tell you
all I'm ever going to...
613
00:31:55,971 --> 00:31:57,216
Listen good.
614
00:31:57,240 --> 00:32:00,855
Now you two cut that lady
loose, and you go grab yourself
615
00:32:00,879 --> 00:32:03,125
a jet plane to
Europe or someplace
616
00:32:03,149 --> 00:32:06,063
and when you light,
you write me a letter,
617
00:32:06,087 --> 00:32:09,402
and I'll send you each
$50,000 and good riddance.
618
00:32:09,426 --> 00:32:11,347
I don't know you
no more, you hear?
619
00:32:15,570 --> 00:32:23,574
♪ As I walked out in
The streets of Laredo ♪
620
00:32:24,083 --> 00:32:30,937
♪ As I walked out
In Laredo one day ♪
621
00:32:30,961 --> 00:32:35,977
♪ I spied a poor cowboy
622
00:32:36,001 --> 00:32:40,084
♪ Wrapped up in white linen ♪
623
00:32:40,108 --> 00:32:47,662
♪ Wrapped up in white
linen As cold as the clay ♪
624
00:32:47,686 --> 00:32:55,691
♪ Oh, beat the drum slowly
And play the fife lowly ♪
625
00:32:56,433 --> 00:33:04,438
♪ And play the dead march
As you carry me along ♪
626
00:33:04,813 --> 00:33:11,967
♪ Take me to a green valley
Then lay the sod over me ♪
627
00:33:11,991 --> 00:33:17,911
♪ For I'm a young cowboy
628
00:33:17,935 --> 00:33:19,780
♪ I know I done wrong ♪
629
00:33:22,207 --> 00:33:28,994
♪ For I'm a young cowboy ♪
630
00:33:29,018 --> 00:33:35,560
♪ I know I done wrong ♪♪
631
00:34:06,946 --> 00:34:10,093
I know the feel of this
car like my own hide.
632
00:34:10,117 --> 00:34:12,597
And I know there's
maybe 110 pounds
633
00:34:12,621 --> 00:34:14,533
more in the trunk
than there should be.
634
00:34:15,860 --> 00:34:18,427
Best show yourself.
635
00:34:36,992 --> 00:34:37,970
Our next semifinalist
636
00:34:37,994 --> 00:34:40,530
is Miss Kelly Garrett.
637
00:34:42,601 --> 00:34:45,449
Kelly had a warm and deeply
moving reaction to a friend
638
00:34:45,473 --> 00:34:47,619
who injured an
ankle while skiing.
639
00:34:47,643 --> 00:34:49,288
Tell us about it, Kelly.
640
00:34:49,312 --> 00:34:54,596
Well... from that moment on
641
00:34:54,620 --> 00:34:57,735
I... I knew what
we should all do
642
00:34:57,759 --> 00:35:01,574
is help one another
to realize that
643
00:35:01,598 --> 00:35:03,878
well, we should realize that
644
00:35:03,902 --> 00:35:07,617
no man or woman is an island.
645
00:35:07,641 --> 00:35:09,887
That we should never ask
646
00:35:09,911 --> 00:35:11,590
for whom the bell tolls...
647
00:35:11,614 --> 00:35:13,593
that we're all one
648
00:35:13,617 --> 00:35:16,030
and we need each others' support
649
00:35:16,054 --> 00:35:17,933
to be truly happy.
650
00:35:17,957 --> 00:35:20,471
No, we should not ask
for whom the bell tolls.
651
00:35:20,495 --> 00:35:24,043
When one man is lost
or woman is injured,
652
00:35:24,067 --> 00:35:26,514
be it friend or stranger,
653
00:35:26,538 --> 00:35:30,653
when the bell tolls,
it tolls for all of us.
654
00:35:37,488 --> 00:35:40,302
Now, lady,
655
00:35:40,326 --> 00:35:43,107
what have you done
in the trunk of our car?
656
00:35:43,131 --> 00:35:44,676
Well, I'm a TV reporter,
657
00:35:44,700 --> 00:35:46,880
and I was looking for a story.
658
00:35:46,904 --> 00:35:48,348
About what?
659
00:35:48,372 --> 00:35:52,655
About the scaring
off of the contestants
660
00:35:52,679 --> 00:35:56,082
in the Miss Chrysanthemum
Pageant and the...
661
00:35:59,690 --> 00:36:02,838
bribing of the... judges.
662
00:36:02,862 --> 00:36:05,776
Hey, Ul, she knows
what we've been doing.
663
00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:08,379
Yeah, she does, don't she?
664
00:36:08,403 --> 00:36:11,919
Think we ought to put
the hush-up on her, Hube?
665
00:36:11,944 --> 00:36:15,157
If you think I'm the
least bit frightened
666
00:36:15,181 --> 00:36:17,026
by all this, you
are sadly mistaken.
667
00:36:17,050 --> 00:36:18,028
Miss Farber...
668
00:36:18,052 --> 00:36:19,698
Hey, Ul, you ain't considering
669
00:36:19,722 --> 00:36:22,034
blowing your head off?
670
00:36:22,058 --> 00:36:24,205
No, just thinking.
671
00:36:24,229 --> 00:36:27,209
Are you going to shoot her, Ul?
672
00:36:27,233 --> 00:36:29,769
Maybe.
673
00:36:32,776 --> 00:36:34,722
Listen, old biddy.
674
00:36:34,746 --> 00:36:36,859
Things ain't going the
way they're supposed to,
675
00:36:36,883 --> 00:36:39,463
so we're going to change
our plans right here and now.
676
00:36:39,487 --> 00:36:42,567
You say you got
six million dollars?
677
00:36:42,591 --> 00:36:44,538
Well, if you want to stay alive,
678
00:36:44,562 --> 00:36:47,208
you better give us the name
of somebody we can call
679
00:36:47,232 --> 00:36:49,713
we'll let them buy you
back from us for, say...
680
00:36:49,737 --> 00:36:52,550
two million of your six.
681
00:36:52,574 --> 00:36:53,785
You won't even miss that.
682
00:36:53,809 --> 00:36:54,787
That's a good idea, Ul!
683
00:36:54,811 --> 00:36:57,525
We got the name
let's play the game.
684
00:36:57,549 --> 00:36:58,994
Hell, pard, we're
going to get rich!
685
00:36:59,018 --> 00:37:02,165
All right, now, ma'am,
who do we call?
686
00:37:02,189 --> 00:37:04,068
Nobody.
687
00:37:04,092 --> 00:37:05,370
What do you mean, nobody?
688
00:37:05,394 --> 00:37:08,609
I'm a widow and nobody
can authorize the bank
689
00:37:08,633 --> 00:37:10,812
to pay out money
for me but me...
690
00:37:10,836 --> 00:37:12,415
and I won't.
691
00:37:12,439 --> 00:37:14,518
Well, it might just
mean your life,
692
00:37:14,542 --> 00:37:17,378
old biddy, and this
sneaky-nosed TV lady too.
693
00:37:23,924 --> 00:37:26,270
And now, from New
York, Miss Holly Blaise
694
00:37:26,294 --> 00:37:28,807
to give us a special rendition
of that famous soliloquy
695
00:37:28,831 --> 00:37:30,242
from The Merchant of Venice
696
00:37:30,266 --> 00:37:32,187
delivered in her
own special way.
697
00:37:34,172 --> 00:37:38,444
The quality of
mercy is not strained.
698
00:37:40,083 --> 00:37:46,891
It droppeth as the
gentle rain from heaven.
699
00:37:50,899 --> 00:37:52,011
You reckon anybody would pay
700
00:37:52,035 --> 00:37:53,647
anything for that TV lady?
701
00:37:53,671 --> 00:37:55,116
She's the boss.
702
00:37:55,140 --> 00:37:57,285
She's got to be worth
something to somebody.
703
00:37:57,309 --> 00:37:58,888
Hey, TV lady,
704
00:37:58,912 --> 00:38:03,161
who'd pay to buy
you back from us?
705
00:38:03,185 --> 00:38:04,330
Well, uh,
706
00:38:04,354 --> 00:38:06,266
my photographer might
be able to arrange it
707
00:38:06,290 --> 00:38:09,171
but, um, not just for me.
708
00:38:09,195 --> 00:38:12,644
It would have to
be for both of us.
709
00:38:12,668 --> 00:38:13,846
Of course.
710
00:38:13,870 --> 00:38:16,916
Don't make no sense
just shooting one of you.
711
00:38:16,940 --> 00:38:17,918
Right.
712
00:38:17,942 --> 00:38:20,321
All we want is a bunch of money
713
00:38:20,345 --> 00:38:22,025
and a chance to disappear.
714
00:38:22,049 --> 00:38:27,099
You go to him and
you say, "Beau Geste."
715
00:38:27,123 --> 00:38:28,601
Then you tell him what you want.
716
00:38:28,625 --> 00:38:31,339
He'll probably
want to talk to me
717
00:38:31,363 --> 00:38:33,043
before he pays over any money.
718
00:38:33,067 --> 00:38:34,879
You don't trust
us, do you, lady?
719
00:38:34,903 --> 00:38:36,181
Not very much.
720
00:38:36,205 --> 00:38:38,617
What is this here, "Beau Geste",
721
00:38:38,641 --> 00:38:41,389
is that some kind of
Morse code or something?
722
00:38:41,413 --> 00:38:44,226
If you say "Beau Geste"
723
00:38:44,250 --> 00:38:48,767
then he'll know that
I was safe and sound
724
00:38:48,791 --> 00:38:51,204
when I gave you the code word.
725
00:38:51,228 --> 00:38:52,539
Make sense, Ul?
726
00:38:52,563 --> 00:38:54,375
Hell, I don't know.
727
00:38:54,399 --> 00:38:57,915
These TV people got all kinds of
728
00:38:57,939 --> 00:38:59,084
strange things going.
729
00:38:59,108 --> 00:39:00,485
Let's tie their
hands behind them
730
00:39:00,509 --> 00:39:01,654
and get out of here.
731
00:39:01,678 --> 00:39:04,247
Now, I haven't
finished my sandwich.
732
00:39:09,157 --> 00:39:11,569
And now, that lovely wizard
733
00:39:11,593 --> 00:39:13,505
from Macon, Georgia
734
00:39:13,529 --> 00:39:15,376
with her own brand
of southern magic,
735
00:39:15,400 --> 00:39:17,747
Miss Kris Munroe.
736
00:40:43,873 --> 00:40:45,718
Now, wait a minute. What?
737
00:40:45,742 --> 00:40:47,421
I'll get over there to you.
738
00:40:47,445 --> 00:40:49,557
You just stay right
where you are.
739
00:40:49,582 --> 00:40:51,295
Oh, that's very smart.
740
00:40:51,319 --> 00:40:54,800
Now, we'll just see if we can...
741
00:40:54,824 --> 00:40:56,970
Watch your hands,
there, Miss Farber.
742
00:40:56,994 --> 00:40:57,971
What's that?
743
00:40:57,995 --> 00:40:59,673
Thank you, okay. Uh-huh.
744
00:40:59,697 --> 00:41:03,079
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
but mostly you gentlemen,
745
00:41:03,103 --> 00:41:05,483
you ain't never seen sultry
746
00:41:05,507 --> 00:41:08,577
until you've seen
Miss Kelly Garrett!
747
00:42:26,769 --> 00:42:32,142
♪ Are there any words of
praise Could not allude ♪
748
00:42:34,282 --> 00:42:40,267
♪ To such a wealth Of
feminine pulchritude? ♪
749
00:42:40,291 --> 00:42:42,704
♪ Rosy cheeks ♪
750
00:42:42,728 --> 00:42:44,474
♪ Lustrous hair ♪
751
00:42:44,498 --> 00:42:48,613
♪ Aren't they angels
Heaven shares? ♪
752
00:42:48,637 --> 00:42:51,618
♪ Da Vinci's art
Could not surpass ♪
753
00:42:51,642 --> 00:42:56,393
♪ The smile of any lovely lass ♪
754
00:42:56,417 --> 00:43:03,704
♪ Could Shakespeare
rhapsodize The virtue in their eyes ♪
755
00:43:03,728 --> 00:43:10,715
♪ As we hear them
each Loftily moralize ♪
756
00:43:10,739 --> 00:43:18,694
♪ Beethoven could not
capture The rapture that unfurls ♪
757
00:43:18,718 --> 00:43:26,440
♪ From our Chrysanthemum
Festival girls ♪
758
00:43:26,464 --> 00:43:34,469
♪ From our Chrysanthemum
Festival girls ♪♪
759
00:43:39,718 --> 00:43:42,832
Now, to help present
this year's crown,
760
00:43:42,856 --> 00:43:44,636
last year's queen,
Miss Candy Welsh!
761
00:43:44,660 --> 00:43:47,907
And now, the moment
we've all been waiting for.
762
00:43:47,931 --> 00:43:50,211
The moment when
we learn the answer
763
00:43:50,235 --> 00:43:51,713
to that magic question,
764
00:43:51,737 --> 00:43:54,885
who will be the next
Miss Chrysanthemum?
765
00:43:54,909 --> 00:43:56,119
I'm really nervous and excited,
766
00:43:56,143 --> 00:43:58,446
and I know the girls are.
767
00:44:01,151 --> 00:44:02,963
Our fourth runner-up...
768
00:44:02,987 --> 00:44:06,369
and winner of a new
Walsingham dirt motorcycle,
769
00:44:06,393 --> 00:44:11,010
our fourth runner up
is... Debbie Dowlan!
770
00:44:13,371 --> 00:44:15,384
Beau Geste.
771
00:44:15,408 --> 00:44:16,619
What did you say?
772
00:44:16,643 --> 00:44:18,121
The man said, Beau Geste.
773
00:44:18,145 --> 00:44:20,426
Who told you to tell me that?
774
00:44:20,450 --> 00:44:23,162
The lady what works
with you. She's kidnapped.
775
00:44:23,186 --> 00:44:24,765
And we want a
million dollars for her.
776
00:44:24,789 --> 00:44:25,767
Right.
777
00:44:25,791 --> 00:44:28,304
And an all-expense-paid
weekend...
778
00:44:28,328 --> 00:44:29,428
Beau Geste!
779
00:44:34,204 --> 00:44:36,885
Be right back,
ladies and gentlemen.
780
00:44:46,824 --> 00:44:47,957
Whoa!
781
00:45:14,901 --> 00:45:17,015
I made the phone
call, Mr. Bosley.
782
00:45:17,039 --> 00:45:19,585
All right, we owe you a dime.
783
00:45:19,609 --> 00:45:23,291
And now, ladies and
gentlemen, where were we?
784
00:45:23,315 --> 00:45:27,130
Oh, yes, our
third semifinalist...
785
00:45:27,154 --> 00:45:31,103
Okay, Mrs. Farber, I
got my second wind.
786
00:45:31,127 --> 00:45:33,607
And we're going to try it again.
787
00:45:33,631 --> 00:45:36,479
Only this time,
please don't help me.
788
00:45:36,503 --> 00:45:41,086
Oh, well, I'll try. No, don't.
789
00:45:41,110 --> 00:45:42,989
Oh, boy, am I ever
glad to see you!
790
00:45:43,013 --> 00:45:45,426
I thought the next thing that
was going to happen to me
791
00:45:45,450 --> 00:45:46,795
I was gonna know
what it felt like
792
00:45:46,819 --> 00:45:48,231
to get shot with a .357 magnum!
793
00:45:48,255 --> 00:45:51,034
That hurts. How'd you find us?
794
00:45:51,058 --> 00:45:54,206
Our southern fried chicken
boys sang like nightingales.
795
00:45:54,230 --> 00:45:57,479
Oh dear, now look, we've got
to get right over to the pageant.
796
00:45:57,503 --> 00:45:59,415
They bribed two of the judges.
797
00:45:59,439 --> 00:46:00,717
I told you, Kelly.
798
00:46:00,741 --> 00:46:02,186
The pageant is
over, Mrs. Farber.
799
00:46:02,210 --> 00:46:03,856
Oh, really?
800
00:46:03,880 --> 00:46:06,192
Oh, well, who won?
801
00:46:06,216 --> 00:46:07,928
A girl named Billie Jolene.
802
00:46:07,952 --> 00:46:10,966
She sang and played the
guitar to "The Streets of Laredo."
803
00:46:10,990 --> 00:46:14,071
She's the one that
they wanted to win!
804
00:46:14,095 --> 00:46:17,143
Her father paid those two
men to see that she won.
805
00:46:17,167 --> 00:46:20,314
We know, Mrs. Farber,
and the Texas authorities
806
00:46:20,339 --> 00:46:22,318
will be paying her
father a little visit.
807
00:46:22,342 --> 00:46:24,588
She's been disqualified.
808
00:46:24,612 --> 00:46:26,925
Who was the first runner-up?
809
00:46:26,949 --> 00:46:28,594
Holly.
810
00:46:28,618 --> 00:46:31,900
The girl who twirled the
baton and recited Shakespeare.
811
00:46:31,924 --> 00:46:33,602
Oh.
812
00:46:33,626 --> 00:46:35,472
You was robbed.
813
00:46:35,496 --> 00:46:37,531
Mm-hmm.
814
00:46:48,984 --> 00:46:51,398
And neither one of you
was even named runner-up?
815
00:46:51,422 --> 00:46:52,765
Zip.
816
00:46:52,789 --> 00:46:54,636
To quote an agent
we met, Charlie,
817
00:46:54,660 --> 00:46:56,705
bupkis is what we got.
818
00:46:56,729 --> 00:46:59,476
I thought you might have
already told them, Bosley?
819
00:46:59,500 --> 00:47:00,511
No, no, no, Charlie,
820
00:47:00,535 --> 00:47:02,548
you're the one who arranged it
821
00:47:02,572 --> 00:47:04,318
and I thought you
should tell them.
822
00:47:04,342 --> 00:47:05,753
What did you arrange, Charlie?
823
00:47:05,777 --> 00:47:07,189
Ben Pawl told the judges
824
00:47:07,213 --> 00:47:08,959
you weren't really contestants.
825
00:47:08,983 --> 00:47:10,294
That you were professionals
826
00:47:10,318 --> 00:47:13,065
brought in to fill out
the depleted pageant.
827
00:47:13,089 --> 00:47:16,236
The judges were not
allowed to vote for you.
828
00:47:16,260 --> 00:47:17,872
Oh, no, after I
learned that speech
829
00:47:17,896 --> 00:47:19,675
and smiled till my face hurt?
830
00:47:19,699 --> 00:47:25,885
And I paid $37 for a brand-new
pair of white, tacky shoes.
831
00:47:25,909 --> 00:47:27,321
I don't think you'd better walk
832
00:47:27,345 --> 00:47:28,856
down any dark alleys, Charlie.
833
00:47:28,880 --> 00:47:30,960
You bought yourself
some trouble here.
834
00:47:30,984 --> 00:47:33,630
Not half as much as
I'd have bought myself
835
00:47:33,654 --> 00:47:36,035
if one of you Angels had won.
836
00:47:36,059 --> 00:47:38,205
What would I have
said to the loser?
837
00:47:38,229 --> 00:47:40,274
Well, which one would have won?
838
00:47:40,298 --> 00:47:42,577
She would have. She would have.
839
00:47:42,602 --> 00:47:44,415
I'm glad I was only kidnapped.
840
00:47:45,740 --> 00:47:48,921
That sound again, Charlie.
Is your therapist there again?
841
00:47:48,945 --> 00:47:52,227
Oh, yes, and still hard at work
842
00:47:52,251 --> 00:47:54,492
showing me the upper
body development exercises.
843
00:47:56,491 --> 00:47:58,270
What about the
lower body, Charlie?
844
00:47:58,294 --> 00:47:59,505
Well, actually,
there doesn't seem
845
00:47:59,529 --> 00:48:00,962
to be a problem in that area.
846
00:48:03,369 --> 00:48:04,612
Isn't that great?
847
00:48:04,636 --> 00:48:07,684
Charlie's always trying
to improve himself.
848
00:48:07,708 --> 00:48:10,489
The very least I can do.
849
00:48:10,513 --> 00:48:12,559
Bye, Angels!
850
00:48:12,583 --> 00:48:15,118
Bye, Charlie.
61408
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