All language subtitles for Roys.World.Barry.Giffords.Chicago.2020.WEBRip.x264-ION10_English

"The path on the
hillside is a stripe of light,

"a three-dimensional effect.

"There's nothing
theoretical about this.

"Everything is where
it is supposed to be.

"Not merely light and shadow
and balance and color,

"but the unprepared for,

"the element that informs
as well as verifies the work."

"As the light in the Salle Caill
in the Jeu de Paume changes,

"the painting changes too.

"Like the sun slowly emerging
from behind a cloud,

"it opens and displays
more of itself."

"The people and the setting
are from the previous century.

"Women and children
descending the path."

"There's absolutely nothing
savage about this picture.

"Flowers, fruit trees,
foot-worn path, wooden fence.

"Nothing to disturb."

"The element of feeling is calm.

"Difficulty disappears."

"An early summer afternoon
in the house in Chicago.

"I'm ten years old.
The sky is very dark,
a thunderstorm."

"I'm sitting on the floor in
my room, the cool tiles.

"The rain comes,
at first very hard then soft."

"I'm playing a game by myself.

"Nobody else is around except
perhaps my mother in another
part of the house."

"There is and will be for
a while nothing to disturb me."

"This is my most beloved
childhood memory.

"An absolutely inviolable moment
totally devoid of difficulty."

"It's the same feeling I have

"when I look at Renoir's
Chemin Montant dans
les Hautes Herbes."

"I doubt very seriously
if my father would have
understood this feeling."

Everything was
related to Chicago.

And Chicago was a great place.

That cynical kind of attitude.

A kind of a toughness.

That was Chicago to me.

First of all, as Hemingway said,
"Don't ignore the weather."

But I never could
forget the weather.

"Roy had been told
that hell was boiling

"but when he and his mother
flew up from Miami and
arrived in Chicago

"during the dead of winter,
he decided this was a lie.

"Hell was cold, not hot

"and he was horrified that
his mother had delivered him
to such a place.

" 'My mother must hate me,'
Roy thought, 'to have
brought me here.' "

I remember one time...

I was on Clark Street

and I went to a newsstand...

you know, and it was
kind of a miserable day.

The newsagent, the newsie,
you know, in one of these kiosks

was talking to some old woman

And he had asked her
about her son or daughter,

something like that, and...

she said, "Oh, they moved
to Florida," or California,
someplace like that.

And the newsie says,

"Oh, yeah, they're
not tough enough."

And she said,
"Yeah, they're not like us."

There was that attitude.

Many years ago,
when I first started writing,

a friend of mine
who I'd gone to high school with

he said, "You know, you're
really writing history here."

I asked him what he meant.
He said, "Well, that's
really what it is."

He says, "You're just
keeping track of the time,

"not necessarily only your life
or your observation,

"but you know, thinking about
the history of a place

"and people and language."

The past isn't dead.

The Roy stories are
a bit different for me

because it's certainly the most
autobiographical of my work.

I said, "I just want to
remember the time that I had
with my mother."

and so I created Roy...

..and his mother.

A lot of it is based on things
that more or less...happened,

but much of it not.

You know, fiction has
a very simple definition.

It means that you made it up.

You use all of the information,
all of the experiences
that you have.

All of this,
it all goes into the work.

And then you tell the story
that you want to tell.

"Before you were born,

"I got very sick and your dad
made me go to Cuba to recover."

"I stayed in a lovely house on a
beach next to a lavish estate."

"It was a perfect cure for me,

"lying in the sun
without responsibilities."

"Was Dad with you?"

"No, I was alone."

"There was a Chinese couple who
took care of the house and me.

"Chang and Li were their names."

"How long were you there?"

"Six weeks.

"I was so happy just by myself,

"reading, resting,
swimming in the Caribbean Sea."

"It really was the best time
of my life. Until, of course,
I had to leave."

"Why did you have to leave?"

"To make sure you
were a healthy baby.

"I needed to be near my doctor,
who was in Chicago."

She and my dad had a friend

who was the maître d'
in the restaurant at the
Belden Stratford Hotel.

One of the places
where my dad kept his money,

in the safety deposit boxes,
you know, in the hotel safe,

who was a gay guy named Barry,

who was a very
good friend of theirs.

And so she really had
good associations with
the name, anyways.

That's it. I'm named after,
you know,

a gay maître d'
at the Belden Stratford.

She had been a
University of Texas beauty queen
in 1944 or thereabouts.

After that, she left Texas and
went to New York, modeled there,

then came to Chicago.

She was modeling fur coats

for Joseph Kennedy
in the Merchandise Mart...

..when my father met her.

She was almost 20 years younger
than my father.

My father always had money.

"He was a
strong person," Roy said.

"People liked and respected him,
didn't they?"

"Yes. He handled things his
own way. People trusted him."

"You know, your father never
gave me more than $25 a week
spending money,

"but I could go into any
department store or
good restaurant

"and charge whatever I wanted."

"I'll tell you something that
happened not long after
he and I were married."

"We were living in the Seneca
Hotel, where you were born,

"and there was another couple in
the hotel we were friends with.

"Ricky and Rosita Danilo.

"Rosita was a little older than
I. She was from Puerto Rico.

"And Ricky was a few years
younger than your dad,

"who was 19 years older than me.

"What business was Ricky in?"

"Oh, the rackets,
like everybody in Chicago.

"But he wasn't in your father's
league. He looked up to Rudy."

"Anyway, late one afternoon,
your father came home

"and I was wearing a new hat,
blood red with a veil,

"and he said it
looked good on me.

"I told him I was just
trying it on.

"He asked me where I'd gotten it

"and I said it was a gift
from Ricky Danillo,

"that I'd come back to
the hotel after having lunch
with Peggy Spain

"and the concierge handed me a
hat box with a note from Ricky."

"What did the note say?"

"Well, I don't remember exactly,
something about how
he hoped I'd liked it,

"that when he saw it in
the shop window, he thought
it suited my style."

"Your dad didn't say anything,

"but the next day
when I was down to the lobby,

"I saw that one of the
plate glass windows in the front
was boarded up.

"I asked the concierge
what happened

"and he told me that Rudy
had punched Ricky Danillo

and knocked him through
the window, then told
the hotel manager

"to put the cost of replacing it
on his bill."

"That night, I said to your dad,

" 'You knocked Ricky through
a plate glass window just
because he bought me a hat?' "

"What did he say?"

" 'No, Kitty. I did it
because he didn't ask me first.'

"That's the kind of guy
your father was.

"I didn't say another
word about it."

"What happened to the hat?"

"I never wore it.
I gave it away to someone."

My father was
always in love with my mother.

I don't know that my mother
was in love with my father...

..except that he
took care of her

and I think she needed that.
She needed to be taken care of.

Of course, my father said,
"Whatever you need Dorothy."

I mean, he was, I'm sure, struck
by her...looks and so forth.

My father started very early
involved with organized crime,

but he was a smart guy and,
in those days, when
Prohibition came in,

in order to have access
to drugs and liquor, right,

you had to be a doctor
or a pharmacist.

So he went to
pharmacology school

at the University of Illinois
in Chicago, campus.

And, uh, now he
could write script

and he could get liquor
and all that sort of stuff.

"According to
Nanny, my mother's mother,

"my dad didn't even speak to me
until I was five years old.

"He apparently didn't
consider a child capable
of understanding him,

"or a friendship
worth cultivating until that age

"and he may have been correct
in his judgment."

"I certainly never felt deprived
as a result of this policy."

"If my grandmother
hadn't told me about it,

"I would've never
known the difference."

"My dad never really told me
about what he did or had done

"before I was old enough
to go around with him."

"I picked up information
as I went..."

"..listening to guys like Albert
and some of my dad's
other friends,

"like Willy Nero in Chicago
or Dummy Fish in New York."

"I supposedly lived in Chicago,

"but my dad had places in
Miami, New York and Acapulco."

"We traveled, mostly
without my mother,

"who stayed at the house in
Chicago and went to
church a lot."

"Once I asked my dad if we
were any particular religion

"and he said,
'Your mother's a Catholic.' "

"When Dad and I
were in New York one night,

"I heard him talking in a
loud voice to Dummy Fish in
the lobby of the Waldorf.

"I was sitting in a
big leather chair

"between a sand-filled ashtray
and a potted palm

"and Dad came over and told me
that Dummy would take me
upstairs to our room.

"I should go to sleep, he said.
He'd be back late."

"In the elevator, I looked
at Dummy and saw that he
was sweating."

"It was December, but water
ran down from his temples
to his chin."

" 'Does my dad have a job?'
I asked Dummy.
'Sure, he does,' he said."

" 'Of course, your dad has
to work, just like everybody
else.' "

" 'What is it?', I asked.

"Dummy wiped the sweat
from his face

"with a white-and-blue
checkered handkerchief.

" 'He talks to people,'
Dummy told me.

" 'Your dad is a great talker.'

But in any event
my dad liked living in hotels.

He liked the impermanence of it.

We were living in
the Seneca Hotel.

It was then a hotel on
Chestnut Street in Chicago,
near the lake.

And it was near
my dad's place of business...

which was a combination
liquor store and pharmacy

on the corner of Chicago and
Rush Street in the middle of
the club district.

So it was very convenient
for him, you know,

just to walk a few blocks
to his place,

right across the street
from the old Water Tower.

The one thing I can say is there
was a very strong...presence.

From my father, from his father,
from his brother.

These guys were...
In Yiddish it's called shtarker.

It really means "tough".

They were not people to
mess around with.

Now, I never really saw
anything happen,

overtly so.

I heard stories.

"There were alway
people coming in and going out
of his dad's store

"and men hanging around, talking
or whispering to each other

"or just standing and waiting."

"His dad seemed to know
all of them

"and did not mind that
none of them ever bought
any liquor."

"The only times Roy
saw a bottle of whiskey or gin

"change hands with one of them

"was when his dad gave it to him
and did not ask for money."

"Sometimes a showgirl from
the Club Alabam next door
came in

"and, without saying anything,
went down the rickety
inside staircase

"into the basement
with Roy's father."

"They would come back
a few minutes later

"and the girl would kiss his dad
on the cheek

"and say,
'Thanks a million, Rudy,'

"or, 'You're a swell guy,'
before leaving."

"The showgirls came in
on a break from rehearsals

"wearing only high heels and a
skimpy costume under a coat."

"Roy thought they were
all knockouts

"and asked his father what
they wanted to see him about.

" 'They need a little help from
time to time, Roy,' his dad said

" 'and I give them something
to make 'em feel better.' "

" 'What do you give them?'
'It's not important, son.

" 'They're poor girls and
I like to help people if I can.'

" 'They always kiss you goodbye?

"Roy's father smiled and said,

" 'That's how they show
their appreciation.' "

To describe it
as a drugstore is not
entirely accurate,

because, as I say, yes,
there was a pharmacy part of it,

there was a soda fountain in
there and it was a liquor store

and then downstairs,
in the basement,

guys were making deals
and all that sort of stuff

and making book, you know,
on the races or whatever it
happened to be.

So we were confronted pretty
quickly, especially in a place
like Chicago,

which was, of course,
renowned for its corruption.

We just grew up with it.

It was just part and parcel
of the whole thing.

It was part of the culture.

It seemed like, my dad and
his friends, they already knew
who'd won

before the election took place.

So you make of that
what you will.

I will faithfully
discharge the duties of
Mayor of Chicago...

According
to the best of your ability.

According
to the best of my ability.

Mr. Mayor,
it's a great privilege for me

to be the first to
officially call you "Mr. Mayor".

We want the finest police and
fire department in the nation.

We must provide the opportunity
for every citizen

to have decent housing.

We must have slum clearance.

While we are clearing the slums,

we must prevent the spread
of blight into the other
neighborhoods.

It was Daley.

I mean, the politics. The city
was ruled with an iron hand.

Certainly my father was involved
with a lot of these people,
in terms of...

Not as a politician, but as a
mover and shaker in the city.

Everybody was on the take.
It was, you know...

Bribes were just a part
of the territory.

- Good afternoon, madam.
- Why are you stopping me?

You were speeding.

Well, if I was speeding,
so was everybody.

I'm not going any faster
than the other cars.

You were driving 40 miles
per hour in a posted
25 mile zone.

You had better get
your speedometer tested.

I wasn't driving that fast.

Let me have your
driver's license, please.

Can't you forget
about this, Officer?

"While Roy's
mother was in the
Land of 10,000 Lakes,

"there was a sanitation workers
strike in Chicago.

"Garbage piled up
in the streets and alleys.

"Now the weather was very warm
and humid and the city
started to stink."

"Big Cicero, the hunchback
with the twisted nose

"who once wrestled Killer
Kowalski at Marigold Arena

"and now worked at the newsstand
on the corner near the house,

"said to Roy's grandmother,
'May they rot in hell,
them garbage men.

" 'They get a king's ransom as
it is, just for throwin' bags.

" 'Cops ought to kneecap 'em,
put 'em on the rails.

" 'The Mayor'll call in the
troops soon if it don't end,
you'll see.' "

"Roy's grandmother said,

'Don't have a heart
attack, Cicero.'

" 'Already had one,' he said."

"One afternoon, Roy looked out a
window at the rear of the house

"and saw rats
running through the backyard.

" 'Nanny, look!' Roy shouted,
'Rats are in our yard!' "

"His grandmother came into the
room and looked out the window.

"The rats were
climbing up the wall.

"She grabbed a broom,
leaned out the window with it

"and began knocking the rats
off the yellow bricks."

"They fell down onto the cement,

"but quickly recovered and
headed back up the side
of the house.

"Roy's grandmother
dropped the broom into the yard

"and slammed the window shut."

"If the Mayor really did call in
the army, like Big Cicero
said he might,

"they could use flame-throwers
to fry the rats."

"Roy closed his eyes and saw
hundreds of blackened rodents,

"sizzling on the sidewalks."

My grandmother
apparently said something to my
mother at one point.

Nanny said, "How can you be in
the same bathroom
with that man?"

My grandmother really worked
hard on my mother.

She really was the one
who caused the divorce.

Now, my father's family
also didn't like my mother.

Because she was so different.
First of all, she's a
shiksa, right,

so they were suspicious of her.

She was completely different
than they were in her manner

and her looks and
that kind of thing.

I heard, many times,
people refer to my mother

as a divorcee, divorced woman.

And that seemed somehow
humiliating to me.

"Roy and his
mother had come back to
Chicago from Cuba

"by way of Key West and Miami

"so that she could attend the
funeral of her Uncle Ike,
her father's brother."

"Roy was six years old and
though he would not be
going to the funeral -

"he'd stay at home with his
grandmother, who was
too ill to attend -

"he looked forward to seeing
Pops, his grandfather,

"during his and his mother's
time in the city.

"It was mid-February and the
weather was at its
most miserable."

"The temperature was
close to zero,

"ice and day-old snow
covered the streets
and sidewalks

"and sharp winds cut into
pedestrians from several
directions at once."

"Had it not been out of fondness
and respect for his
father's brother,

"Roy's mother would never
have ventured north

"from the tropics at
this time of year."

"Uncle Ike had always been
especially kind and attentive
to his niece

"and Roy's mother was sincerely
saddened by his passing."

"She and Roy had first stopped
on the way in from the airport
to see Roy's father,

"from whom his mother had
recently been divorced,
at his liquor store

"and were now in a taxi on their
to Roy's grandmother's house

"when she told
the driver to stop

"so that she could buy something
at a pharmacy."

" 'Wait here in the cab, Roy,'
she said. 'It's warmer.

" 'I'll only be a couple
of minutes.' "

"Roy watched his mother tiptoe
gingerly across the
frozen sidewalk

"and enter the drugstore."

"The taxi was parked on
Ojibway Avenue,

"which Roy recognized was not
very far from his grandmother's
neighborhood."

" 'That your mother?'
the driver asked.

" 'Yes.'

" 'She's a real attractive lady.
You live in Chicago?'

" 'Sometimes,' said Roy.

" 'My grandmother lives here.
Right now, we live in
Havana, Cuba

" 'and Key West, Florida.'

" 'You live in both places?'

" 'We go back and forth
on the ferry. They're
pretty close.'

" 'Your parents got
two houses, huh?'

" 'They're divorced.
My mom and I live in hotels.'

" 'You like that?
Living in hotels?'

" 'We've always lived in hotels.
Even when my mom and
dad were married.

" 'I was born in one
in Chicago.'

" 'Where's your dad live?'
'Here mostly.'

" 'Sometimes he's in Havana
or Las Vegas.'

" 'What business is he in?'

"Roy was getting anxious
about his mother.

"The rear window on his side of
the cab kept steaming up

"and Roy kept wiping it off.

" 'My mother's been in there
a long time,' he said.

" 'I'm going in to find her.'
'Hold on, kid. She'll be
right back.

" 'The drugstore's
probably crowded.'

"Roy opened the curbside door
and said,

" 'Don't drive away.
My mom will pay you.'

"He got out and went
into the drugstore.

"His mother was standing
in front of the cash counter.

"Three or four customers in line
were behind her.

" 'You dumb son of a bitch!',

his mother shouted at the man
standing behind the counter,

" 'How dare you talk
to me like that?'

"The clerk was tall and slim

"and he was wearing wire-rim
glasses and a brown sweater.

" 'I told you,' he said,
'We don't serve Negroes.

" 'Please leave the store
or I'll call the police.' "

" 'Go on, lady,'
said a man standing in line.

" 'Go someplace else.'

" 'Mom, what's wrong?' Roy said.

"The customers
and the clerk looked at him.

" 'This horrible man refuses to
wait on me because he thinks
I'm a Negro.'

" 'But you're not a Negro,'
Roy said."

" 'It doesn't matter if I
am or not.

" He's stupid
and rude.' "

" 'Is that your son?'
the clerk asked.

" 'He's white,'
said a woman in the line.

" 'He's got a suntan,
but he's a white boy.'

" 'I'm sorry, lady,'
said the clerk.

" 'It's just that your skin
is so dark.'

" 'Her hair's red,'
said the woman.

" 'She and the boy have been
in the sun too much
down south somewhere.'

"Roy's mother threw the
two bottles of lotion she'd been
holding at the clerk.

"He caught one and the
other bounced off his chest

"and fell on the floor
behind the counter.

" 'Come on, Roy. Let's get out
of here,' said his mother.

"The taxi was still waiting with
the motor running and
they got in.

"The driver put it into gear
and pulled away from the curb.

" 'You get what you needed,
lady?' he asked.

" 'Mom, why didn't you tell
the man that you
aren't a Negro?'

"Roy's mother's shoulders were
shaking and tears were running
down her cheeks.

"He could see her hands
trembling as she wiped her face.

" 'Because it shouldn't
matter, Roy.

" 'This is Chicago, Illinois,
not Birmingham, Alabama.

" 'It's against the law
not to serve Negroes.'

" 'No, it ain't, lady,'
said the driver.

" 'Well, it should be,'
said Roy's mother.

" 'How could they think
you're black?' The driver said.

" 'If I'd thought you were
a Negro, I wouldn't have
picked you up.' "

Chicago:
a city of beauty, strength
and power.

Chicago: commercial capital
of the nation,

agricultural market and
industrial center of the world.

Chicago: the most American
of American cities.

One thing I have
to say is that neither my mother
nor my father

ever exhibited any kind
of racist attitude.

Nor were they homophobic.

I never heard any kind
of racial slur

or homophobic slur

from either one of them.
Why? I really couldn't tell you.

I have no big answer,

except maybe the Jews in
my family felt the prejudice,

which I'm sure they did.

I was very fortunate I think,

to not have to inherit
or really deal personally

with those kinds of prejudices.

So I consider that sort of a
blessing, in other words.

I saw my father, but I don't
remember ever living with him,

because I was five
when they got divorced.

We moved into the apartment
on Rockwell Street.

It was a pretty working class
neighborhood.

Our next door neighbor
Frank McLaughlin was a doorman
at the Drake Hotel.

I mean everybody's father
was a plumber or something,

you know, like that.
A tradesman of some kind.

DeWitt Clinton Public School.

These places, God.

Clinton was a gigantic,
prison-like edifice.

It went from K through 8.

So the older boys basically
preyed upon the younger kids.

Typical Chicago school.

White, certainly.

There were no black students
there at the time.

Some Puerto Ricans, maybe.

I concentrated early on
on sports...

..so I was always playing ball.

Depending on the season,
baseball, basketball, football.

My only distinction
was that I was the sports editor

of my grammar school paper,
The Clinton Echo,

My only journalistic experience,
in eighth grade.

"Roy did not
so much mind

"the two feet of new snow
that had fallen overnight,

"but ice had hardened
during the early morning hours

"and created a carapace upon the
sidewalks that made them
dangerous to negotiate.

"The elderly and enfeebled
were advised to stay home.

"Stepping cautiously on his
way to school,

"Roy stopped in front of
Walsh's Drugstore on Blackhawk

"to take a copy of
the day's Sun-Times

"from the bundle on the ground
in front of the entrance.

"Walsh's would not open
for another hour,

"so Roy left a dime on
the bundle, rolled up the paper,

"stuck it under his arm and
continued towards the school."

"He wished he could be with
his father right now in
Havana, Cuba,

"where the temperature was in
the mid-80s and the trade winds
were blowing.

"His dad had gone to Cuba
on business and was staying at
the Hotel Nacional,

"his regular place of residence
when he was on the island."

"Roy enjoyed sitting out
on the terrace there,

"early in the morning, when it
was coolest, drinking lemonade

"and munching lightly-toasted
and sweet-buttered Cuban bread."

"After breakfast at
the Nacional,

"Roy would usually go swimming
in the hotel pool.

"Then he would get dressed
and walk by himself

"over to the Sevilla-Biltmore
to have lunch with his father."

"Most of the time,
Roy's father would be
there already,

"seated in a booth
at the rooftop restaurant

"with two or three other men.

"There were framed black and
white photos on the walls
of the restaurant,

"in two of which his dad
could be seen smiling
and holding a cigar."

"It was Roy's mother's
third husband, Sid Wade,

"who told Roy that
his father had died.

"Roy and Sid did not get along."

"Roy's mother had married Sid
two years before,
when Roy was ten,

"and it had since been obvious
to Roy that if this husband
had a choice,

"he would prefer Roy
were not part of the deal."

"Roy had gotten home from school
to have lunch

"and Sid took him into what had
been Roy's grandfather's
room,

"before he moved to Florida
to live with Roy's Uncle Buck.

"Ice coated the windows.

" 'Listen Roy, your father
died this morning,' Sid said."

"Roy knew his father was in
the hospital being treated
for colon cancer.

"He'd had an operation
a few months before

"and needed to sit on a rubber
pillow at the kitchen table.

"Also, since then, Roy had seen
his father's second wife Evie

"giving his dad shots
with a large hypodermic needle."

"Despite the illness,
Roy's father did not appear

"to have lost his strength
or his sense of humor."

"The only difference Roy
noticed was that his dad
was at home more."

"Usually he was at
his liquor store

"from early afternoon until
three or four in the morning

"and sometimes
he didn't go home for 24 hours.

" 'In my business, there's
always something going on,'
he told Roy."

" 'If I don't pay attention,
I end up paying in other ways

" 'and if that happens too
many times, pretty soon I won't
be in business.' "

I didn't even
know, really until the very end.

He was in the hospital
and my mother said,

"Call your father tonight,
he's in the hospital."

Then I did try to call,
but they said he was sleeping.

And the next day he was dead.

I think I felt,
even while my father was alive,

that I was...somehow...

on my own.

You had to learn how
to handle yourself

and take care of yourself
and to be self-aware,

but really very observant

and aware of your surroundings.

"When my mother
married her third husband,

"I, at the age of 11,
was given the duty, or privilege

"of proposing a toast at the
banquet following the wedding.

"My Uncle Buck coached me.

" 'Unaccustomed as I am
to public speaking...',
I was to begin."

"I kept going over it
in my head."

" 'Unaccustomed as I am
to public speaking...',

"until the moment arrived

"and I found myself standing
with a glass in my hand, saying,

" 'Unaccustomed as I am
to public speaking...'

"I stopped.

"I couldn't remember what else
my uncle had taught me to say,
so I said,

" 'I want to propose a toast
to my new father...',

"I paused, 'and my old mother.'

"Everybody laughed
and applauded.

"I could hear my uncle's
high-pitched twitter.

"It wasn't what I was supposed
to have said, that last part.

"My mother wasn't old, she was
about 30, and that wasn't what
I'd meant by old.

"I meant she was my same mother.
That hadn't changed.

"No matter how often the father
changed, the mother did not."

"I was afraid I'd insulted her.

"Everybody laughing
was no insurance against that.

"I didn't want this new father

"and, a few months later,
neither did my mother."

"When he was
11 years old,

"Roy began waking up between
4:00 and 4:30 in the morning,

"four hours before he
had to leave for school.

"His mother, her husband
and Roy's sister were asleep

"and so long as he kept
to the back of the house,

"he did not disturb them."

"No matter what the weather was,
even if it was freezing
or raining,

"Roy liked to go out onto the
back porch to feel the fresh air
and watch the sky."

"He could imagine
that he lived alone

"or, at the least, that this
third stepfather did not exist."

"His old mother
had married her third husband
a few months before.

"But Roy knew it wouldn't last.

"They were fighting all the time

"and Roy did not want
to continue living with them.

"He loved his mother,
but she was constantly

"on the verge of
a nervous breakdown."

"Roy had overheard her talking
on the telephone to
his grandmother,

"telling her she needed to be
hospitalized or sent to
a sanitarium...

"..somewhere she could rest.

" 'Otherwise,' his mother said,

" 'something terrible
might happen.'

" Roy figured this meant
one of three things -

that she would kill herself,
or her husband,

or that her husband
would kill her. "

"Roy had come
to understand that his mother
gave very little thought

"to how her bringing these men
into his life might affect him.

"He knew now that it was up
to him to control his
own existence,

"to no longer be subject to her
poor judgment and desperation."

I think my
mother's happy life ended when
she was about 30.

I think from the age of about
19 or 18 to 30 was
about it for her.

Her health really started
to deteriorate, severely...

and her marriages
didn't work out.

My father always had money.

Although never in an
ostentatious way.

And after he died,
there was no more money.

I went to work at the age of 11,

delivering food on a bicycle
for a Chinese restaurant,

Kow-Kow, which was
on Devon Avenue and Rockwell.

25 cents an hour,
a dime a delivery.

There wasn't a whole lot
of parental supervision,

as far as I was concerned.

My instruction was
in the street.

You know, from early on,
I always loved movies.

I always thought it was the
greatest potential art form,

because it had everything.

I'd go to two or three movies a
day sometimes when I was a kid.

I was on my own.

And I saw a lot of bad movies,
as many bad movies
as I saw good movies,

probably more.

But I never thought about it
in an academic way.

To me, it was really...
an education.

I watched everything and I
developed a sense of narrative..

..how to tell a story,
just from watching movies.

How's a story put together?

"Roy was walking
to his after school job at
the Red Hot Ranch

"when a girl about his age,
whom he didn't know,

"came up to him and said,

" 'Isn't it terrible?
I just want to scream.' "

"Roy looked at her face.

"The girl was crying,
but she was still pretty.

"She had blonde hair
and gray eyes.

"At closer inspection,

"Roy realized that the girl was
older than he'd first thought.

"She was about 18 or 19.

" 'Isn't what terrible?'
he asked.

" 'You didn't hear?'

" 'I don't know,' said Roy,
'Hear what?'

" 'The president's been shot!
He's dead!'

"Fresh tears shot out of
the girl's eyes and poured down
her cheeks.

" 'Can you hold me?'
she asked him.

" 'I need to be held,
just for a few seconds.'

"Even though he was two or three
years younger than the girl,

"Roy was at least
two inches taller.

"He put his arms around her.

"She sank her head into his
chest and continued sobbing.

" 'I'm shattered,' she said.

" 'I never imagined anything
so terrible could happen.' "

" 'Do they know who shot him?'

"The girl moved her head
side to side without taking it
off Roy's chest.

" 'A woman shouted it from
the window of a bus.' "

" 'Maybe the woman was crazy,'
Roy said,

" 'maybe it didn't
happen at all.'

" 'No, it happened.

" 'I've been walking for blocks
and blocks and other people
said it too.'

"The girl remained in
Roy's embrace for about a minute
before she pulled away

"and wiped her face
with the end of her scarf."

"It was a windy, cold day.
The sky was overcast.

"Roy could feel snow in the air.

" 'Thank you,' the girl said.

Her gray eyes were bloodshot.

" 'This is the worst thing
that ever happened to me.' "

"Later that night, after Roy had
gotten home from work

"and watched the news
on television, he thought about
what the girl had said,

"that the assassination
of the president

"was the worst thing
that had ever happened to her,

"even though she was not the
person who had been murdered."

"When things go wrong,
Roy decided,

"people are shocked by
the discovery of their own lack
of control over events.

"Perhaps now the girl
would understand

"just how fragile the
appearance of order
in the world really was.

"All Roy wanted to think about
was how pretty she was

"and how good it felt
to hold her."

I learned something about women.

About girls and women.

I learned that girls had...

very clearly...

a sexual agenda, as well.

I mean, it's an
interesting thing,

I mean, if you can put yourself
in that timeframe, especially.

They were not just interested
in sex, but they liked it.

That was the great revelation.

They really liked it.

"It was
mid-November, but not too cold.

"The sky was entirely gray,
without birds of any kind,

"a condition that made Roy feel

"as if he were among the last
survivors on a dying planet."

"He and Jimmy Boyle walked down
Ravenswood to Montrose,

"turned left and headed toward
Kenmore Avenue.

"The streets were as
empty as the sky."

" 'What if they don't come?"
Jimmy said.

" 'Then we'll go hang around
the Loop. Maybe meet some
girls there.' "

"Nobody was on the corner
of Kenmore and Montrose.

"So the boys turned south and
walked along the east side
of the cemetery.

" 'Know anybody who's buried
in there?' asked Jimmy.

" 'No, my dad's buried
in Rosedale.'

" 'There they are,' Jimmy said,
'I told you she'd be here.'

"Standing halfway down the block
were two girls,

"both wearing black scarves
around their heads,
navy blue peacoats,

"short black skirts with
black tights and
black fruit boots.

"One of them was
smoking a cigarette.

" 'Bad girls,' said Roy.

" 'I hope so,' said Jimmy Boyle.

"When the boys got closer,

"Roy could see that the girl
who was smoking was
also chewing gum.

"She had dark hair and dark eyes
The other one was Jimmy's."

" 'Hi, Babs,'
Jimmy Boyle said. 'This is Roy.'

" 'Hi, Jimmy,' Babs said.
'Hi, Roy. This is Sunny.'

" 'Is that Sunny with a U
or an O?' said Roy.

"Sunny cradled her right elbow
in her left hand.

"She held her cigarette in her
right hand and did not smile.

"She cracked her gum.

" 'She spells it with a U,'
said Babs.

" 'Roy like in Roy Rogers,'
said Sunny.

" 'Roy Rogers is cute,'
Babs said.

" 'My mother says he's
part Indian.'

"Sunny was wearing make-up

"to conceal some pimples
on her chin and cheeks,

"but Roy thought she was
good looking,

"maybe even beautiful,
like Gene Tierney.

"He'd heard his friend
Frankie's mother, who read a lot
of Hollywood fan magazines,

"say that Gene Tierney was crazy

"and had to be put in a nuthouse
on a regular basis.

"In any case,
Sunny was a lot cuter than Babs,

"though what Jimmy had said
about Babs' skin was true."

" 'We gonna go somewhere?'
asked Babs.

" 'Where do you want to go?'
said Jimmy.

" 'I'm hungry,' she said,
'let's go to Billy The Greek's
on Irving Park.

" 'We can cut through
the cemetery.' "

"Jimmy and Babs walked off first
and Roy and Sunny followed.

"After a minute,
Sunny said to Roy,

" 'I'm Greek. My folks
come from Piraeus.

" 'They had me here though,
so I'm Greek-American.'

" 'I'm first generation American
too,' said Roy.

" 'My father was from
Vienna, Austria.'

" 'I don't think I've ever met
anyone from Austria.' "

"Sunny tossed away
her cigarette. She was about
the same height as Roy.

" 'How old are you?' he asked.

" '14, same as Babs.
What about you?'

" 'I'm 14 and a half.' "

"They walked for another
minute without talking
and then Sunny said,

" 'Do you like cemeteries?'

" 'Not since my dad died,'
said Roy.

Sunny stopped and put her right
hand on Roy's left forearm.

He stopped too.

" 'Oh Roy, I'm sorry
I asked you that.'

"Roy looked into her eyes.

"They were dark brown
with a tinge of red in them.

" 'It's okay," he said.
'He died a couple years ago.'

"Sunny curled her right arm
through Roy's left arm

"and they began walking again.

"She took the chewing gum out
of her mouth with her left hand

"and threw it on the ground.

" 'My mother died a year ago,'
Sunny said,

" 'when I was in
Chicago Parental.'

" 'You were in the reformatory?'

"Sunny nodded.
'What for?'

" 'Chronic truancy.'
'What's chronic?'

" 'It means I cut school
too much,' said Sunny.

" 'I was upset about my
mom being sick

" 'and not being able
to do anything to help her.

" 'Her husband,
he's not my father.

" 'My real dad went to Korea in
the army and never came back.

" 'He probably went to Greece.'

" 'What about your stepfather?'

" 'Oh, yeah. He's a drunk.

" 'Worked loading trucks
on South Water Market.

" 'He tried to rape my sister
on her 16th birthday,
so now he's in jail.

" 'It was a bad atmosphere at
our house, so I mostly just
stayed out all the time.

" 'I was in Chicago Parental
for three months.

" 'They let me out after my
mother died and her sister,
our Aunt Edita,

" 'came to live with me and
my sister. She's really nice.'

" 'Are you going to
school again?'

" 'Oh sure. I got a B average.'

They walked slowly, letting
Jimmy Boyle and Babs
get way ahead.

" 'We've got some things
in common, Roy.

" 'It's real important,
don't you think?

" 'I mean, if we're going
to be friends?'

" 'Did your stepfather ever try
to do anything with you?'

" 'Uh-uh. Valerie's prettier
than I am and she's got
big boobs already,

" 'so he didn't pay so much
attention to me. He's Hungarian.

" 'Well, I'm glad your aunt
is there to take care of you.'

" 'Her husband, my Uncle Ganos,
went bughouse one day

" 'and wouldn't come out
from a closet.

" 'When the cops tried to pull
him out, he bit one of them
on his nose,

" 'almost tore it off
the cop's face.

" 'My aunt said the poor man
had to have it sewn back on.

" 'I was eight when
that happened.'

" 'Jesus,' said Roy,
'what happened to your uncle?'

" 'He's in Dunning, the state
mental hospital out on Foster.

" 'He'll probably be in there
for the rest of his life.'

"When Roy and Sunny got
to Irving Park, Babs and Jimmy
were not in sight.

" 'They must already be at
Billy the Greek's.' said Roy.

"Sunny and Roy were
facing each other.

" 'Roy,' she said,
'would you like to kiss me?'

"Sunny leaned forward

"and pushed her tongue
deep into Roy's mouth

"then rolled it around
a few times.

" 'Where did you learn to
do that?' Roy asked.

" 'Valerie taught me,'
said Sunny.

" 'She's a bad girl.' "

You know, fiction has a
very simple definition.

It means that you made it up.

I'm very comfortable
in that world

and especially since
I can reinvent it.

" 'She's gone.
Solid gone.'

"That's what the guy said
just before he knocked back
a shot of Wild Turkey,

"walked out of the Four Horsemen
into the damn blizzard

"and got hit by a bus."

" 'That's how it goes sometimes'
said Heavenly Wurtzel,

"a waitress at The Broken Arrow.

" 'My dad says once your name's
up there on the wall, that's it.
Game over.' "

"Roy and Marvin Varnish were in
a booth at the diner
drinking Green Rivers."

"Marvin, a diesel mechanic
for the Chicago Fire Department,

"was six years older than Roy,
who was almost 16."

"Roy had met Marvin, who was
a friend of Roy's cousin Kip,

"to talk about getting
a car from him."

"Varnish's side job
was buying old cars

"that didn't or couldn't run,
fixing them up and selling them.

"He had a 1955 Buick Century
with Dynaflow about ready to go.

"He told Roy that he could
let Roy have it for $300.

"Roy walked with Marvin Varnish
over to the firehouse

"to take a look at the Buick,

"which was parked
in the alley behind the station.

"Snow was piled up a
foot deep around it.

"The car was burgundy
with dark green upholstery.

"Roy looked in the
front passenger side window.

" 'The seats are pretty
ripped up,' he said.

" 'I'll throw in a roll
of tape,' said Marvin.

" 'It's got Dynaflow,
like I said. You know
what that is?' "

" 'No.'

" 'You turn the key
in the ignition,

" 'you step on the starter
button before you step on the
accelerator pedal

" 'and then you goose it.
Everything works.' "

" 'You smoke?'
'Uh-uh.'

" 'Good, 'cause the
lighter don't work.' "

"Roy agreed to buy the car.

"As soon as he turned 16,
he could get a driver's license.

" 'When's your birthday?'
asked Marvin.

" 'Next month. I got the money,'
Roy said. 'I've been saving up.'

" 'You want me
to give you something now?'

"Marvin shook his head.

" 'It's okay, I trust you.
I won't sell it to nobody else.'

"It was snowing like crazy as
Roy trudged down
Minnetonka Street."

"A red panel truck was parked
in front of The Broken Arrow,
its motor running."

"Roy saw Heavenly Wurtzel
come running out of the diner,

"a black scarf covering
her head,

"and climb into the truck
on the passenger side.

"A big man smoking a cigar
was in the driver's seat."

"Painted on the side of
the truck in yellow block
letters were the words,

"NOBODY LAYS PIPE LIKE WURTZEL."

"Under the words was
a telephone number,

"SOUTH SHORE 6-6000."

"The driver rolled down
his window and stuck out
his head

"to see if it was
safe to pull out.

"He was wearing a short-brimmed
brown hunter's cap with earflaps

"A hard wind blew snow in his
face, causing him to squint.

"He kept the cigar
clenched in his teeth."

"Roy guessed that the driver
was Barney Wurtzel."

"Heavenly was only 26, but
unless she got out of town soon,

"like Marvin Varnish said,
her life was pretty much over."

"Roy hated thinking this,

"so he did his best
to imagine himself

"behind the steering wheel
of the '55 Buick Century.

"Then he remembered
Marvin's story

"about a guy stumbling
out of the Four Horsemen Tavern

"into the path of a bus."

"It was probably better,
Roy thought,

"to not know if
your name is on the wall."

It's funny, 'cause when you're
a kid like that,

we thought, 'Oh, Chicago's
the greatest city in the world,'

and the whole, 'Who would
want to be anywhere else?'

But I knew I wasn't going
to be sticking around there.

I just knew I had to get away
and be on my own and
create my own family,

if I were going to do that,
and just have my own life.

I wanted to go everywhere else.

And I never, ever thought
about staying in Chicago.

I knew I wasn't
destined to remain there.

"Roy dreamed
that he was on the El

"on a hot, humid summer's day."

"He was not wearing a shirt,

"only a pair of khaki pants
and shoes."

"It was in the afternoon

"and he stood looking through
the windows on the train doors."

"His friends and other
passengers were behind him.

"He heard but did not see them."

"The train stopped at a station,
and, at the last instant,

"Roy stepped out of the car
onto the elevated platform."

"The doors closed behind him
and the train sped away."

"Roy realized
that he had gotten off too soon.

"He and his friends had been
headed downtown to the Loop."

"Roy decided to walk
to his house."

"When he got there,
the three-story yellow
brick building

"looked dirty and run-down,
the lawn and bushes unkempt."

"He walked up to the front door

"and saw that it was not
the door he remembered.

"It was badly abused
and made of cheap material,

"the top layer peeling up
from the bottom."

"Roy did not have a key.

"He stood still, sweating,
wondering why he was there."

"Through the window in the
front door, he saw a woman
in the hallway.

"She opened the door
and came out of the building."

"She was middle-aged and,
despite the heat,

"was wearing a blue cloth coat,
a scarf around her head

"and glasses with black frames."

"The woman did not look at Roy
and was unfamiliar to him."

"He caught the door before it
closed and entered the building.

"Inside the front hallway,
it was dark and cool but musty.

"He walked up the stairs,
past the first-floor landing."

"Sunlight streamed in
through the hallway window,

"but it was muted and he could
see dust floating in the air."

"When he reached
the second-floor landing,

"he saw two nuns, one very
young, one an older woman.

"Their habits were gray or light
blue, not black and white."

"The young nun came over to Roy

"and looked closely at him,
studying his face.

"She was short and her eyes were
strange, one blue, one hazel,

"and they were cast
in different directions."

"She said, 'Buona sera.'

"Roy was surprised
that she greeted him in Italian,

"but he replied,
'Buona sera,' to her.

"The older nun took
the younger sister by an arm,

"and steered her back toward
the apartment door on
the second landing."

"Roy did not see the older nun's
face and she did not
speak to him,

"only to the other nun, whom she
hurriedly guided into
the apartment."

"Roy continued upstairs.

"He stood in front of the door
to the third-floor apartment."

"The hallway was
dusty and shabby,

"the door much like the
front door to the street."

"He reached into his pocket
and found that he had
a key to this door.

"He inserted it into the lock
and entered the apartment."

"There were oriental rugs on the
floor as there always had been,

"but the apartment
was stuffy, close,

"as if it had not been aired out
in a long time,

"and overcrowded
with furniture."

"His mother wasn't home,
nobody was there."

"Roy decided to go to his room

"at the rear of the apartment
to get a shirt.

"He walked through the room...

"..particles of dust and
dirt swirling

"in the shafts of sunlight
that pierced through the
brown shadows."

"Even though he knew it was
the top floor of the building,

"Roy felt almost as if
he were navigating his way

"through the entrails of
a large animal."

"In the back room, Roy
realized his clothes were gone."

"He knew now that he had
not lived there for a
very long time."

"He looked out the window of
his old room, at tar-covered
garage roofs

"and back porches with wash
hung out to dry on clotheslines.

"Roy understood that he had
gotten off at the wrong stop..."

"..that this was the land of
the dead, and he was not
supposed to be there."

"Roy would remember this dream
for the rest of his life."

What I feel that I'm doing
and have been doing

was recording history of that
particular time and place,

mostly the '50s and early '60s,
mostly in Chicago,

and that's Roy's world.

But Roy's world extends beyond
the neighborhood, beyond Chicago

I always wanted to convey
that feeling as well.

You know, that he wasn't
going to be limited by
his surroundings.

Chekhov said,
"I believe in the individual."

So I'm with Chekhov.