All language subtitles for Mrs.Davis.S01E04_English

This was the last person
known to be

in possession of the Grail.

I believe her name is Clara.

- Who is this?
- This is Clara.

Who is this really?

He's gonna lead us
straight to Clara.

Yeah, who we know nothing about.

We know that she has
flaming red hair.

It's starting to feel like

you're just here
for the dumb sword game.

Where did you get
those incredible shoes?

I am going after the Grail.

You better not be
making trouble.

Wiley, you didn't get
off that bull

because you were a coward.

You did it because
I asked Him to save you,

and He did!

All right, my son.

Oh, shit.

I'm looking forward
to discussing

where you got those shoes.

♪ Seems like
such a long time ago ♪

♪ I was walking
on a lonely road ♪

♪ Getting tired
of dreaming alone ♪

♪ Like all the lonely people
I had known ♪

God, I love the way you smell.

Please don't call me that, Elizabeth.

Wait, sorry.

It's just...
Jesus, you smell so good.

♪ I was just a boy
far from home ♪

♪ But I became... ♪

Elizabeth?

- Jay?
- Elizabeth.

What's up?

You saving yourself
for marriage?

Holy shit. You are.

It's a little more
complicated than that.

Then let's get married.

Hmm.

I'm not sure you understand

what marriage to me might mean.

Well then, I'll learn.

I mean, I mastered
the faro shuffle

in under a week.

It's a magic thing
that my mom taught me

when I was a kid, before
she shot me with a crossbow.

Whatever.

Sorry that happened to you.

It doesn't really hold a candle

to what happened to you.

Hm.

What?

Just...

it's been a long time
since anybody thought about me.

I think about you
every single second

of every single day.

Okay, I'll marry you.

Really?

But you'll need
to find the venue.

♪ But in
the gold of morning ♪

♪ Hmm-mm, hmm-mm ♪

We're not open to the public.

Oh, right.

I'm not the public.

I'm... well, I am.

My name is Elizabeth, and, uh,

I work at, uh,
Franklin's, the, uh, grocer.

And we... uh, we stock
your strawberry jam.

And, um, I was just
looking at the label,

which was so cute,
and I bought some.

And I tried it.
It's delicious.

And, uh, I thought,
oh, you know, I didn't know

that you could grow
strawberries in the desert.

Can you marry me
to Jesus Christ?

Um, I'm... I'm serious.

Obviously.

Might I ask, what is your faith?

Yeah, I'm not religious.

My... my parents always thought
church was for chumps.

Like, sort of the only thing
they agreed on.

They were, like, ad...
It's very complicated.

I didn't ask
if you were religious, I...

What do you believe?

I believe I love Jesus more
than I've ever loved anything

or anyone in my entire life.

Which is so crazy.

You can stay the weekend.

Okay.

See how you get along
with the other gals.

There's a badminton tournament Sunday.

Bring your sneakers.

You play badminton?

You know the feeling
you get right...

Yeah, leave.

♪ There's only one thing ♪

♪ That I long for ♪

♪ When I reach ♪

♪ That heavenly land ♪

And I, unworthy though I am,

desire to dedicate myself
as Your eternal servant.

♪ As I go
from land to land ♪

Do you want a strawberry?

I mean, the vows are...

They're
a little old-fashioned, no?

Well, I am
two thousand years old, so...

That's no excuse not
to embrace progress, my love.

You don't have
to go through with this.

And I will love you
just the same.

I did not put in the work
just to back out now.

♪ There's only one thing ♪

I just need your vow.

You and me, we are...

We are in this together,
all the way.

You and me, all the way.

♪ That heavenly land ♪

♪ And I know ♪

♪ I know I shall see Him ♪

♪ In that sweet ♪

♪ Oh, yes ♪

♪ Peaceful rest ♪

I, Elizabeth Danger Abbott,

known in religion
as Sister Simone,

do vow poverty, chastity, and...

Obedience.

Through His glory, I am called,

and in His name, I will serve.

I ask the sisters
of this institution

to confirm me in this act.

We confirm!

- Confirmed!
- Confirmed!

- What did she say?
- I don't know.

Do you, Sister Simone,

give your life,
the entirety of your life,

and your love to the Lord?

I do.

I receive your vows
with great joy,

and in turn, give you this ring,

for you are now betrothed
to the Eternal King.

Blessed be your union, Sister.

Go forth in love
with Jesus Christ.

Hello, husband?

Hello, wife.

Promise me we'll never forget
this moment,

how happy we are right now.

Promise me that nothing and no
one will ever come between us.

What could come between us?

Oh, my.

I have a friend
who was brought in here.

She has red hair.

Patient's name?

Mathilde LaFleur.

Brought in last night
with a head wound.

LaFleur.

Mm. LaFleur.

Oh, for fuck's sake.

Shoo!

Your friend's in recovery,
room 250.

Thank you so much.

Oh, come on.
You again?

Oh, fucking come on.

Ms. LaFleur?

Hello, Ms. LaFleur.

Blessings.
Um, do you...

Do you happen to have the, um...

May we help you?

Uh, yes,
I'm from the local church.

I was asked to sit
with this woman.

Local church?

Why do you have
an American accent?

I-I was assigned there
from America.

You can leave now, Sister.

May I help you?

Fine.

Subtle.

♪ Put your head
on my shoulder ♪

Hello, wife.

Hello, husband.

Got your... got your dove.

Yeah, sorry about that.

I just... it's been a while
since you've been by.

I just... I wanted to see you.

Oh, hey, that's so sweet.

But so I'm, like, this close
to the Holy Grail right now.

The, um... the women
in business suits are here.

I mean, they're, like,
right down the hall.

Um, they could have the Grail
with them, for all I know.

And so the woman, Mathilde...

I thought she was Clara,
but then she called me Clara.

- Simone.
- So I'm not entirely...

Claire, Clara,
I'm not really clear.

Simone.

Yes?

I need you to do a favor for me.

A favor that's more important
than me completing the mission

that you sent me on,
which, to repeat,

I'm on the verge of completing.

I didn't send you
on that mission.

The Boss did.

Well, I kind of assumed
you and He

were in this thing together,
the whole "trinity" deal.

What... you do want me
to get the Grail, right?

Absolutely, yes.

Yes, I do.

But first, will you...

bring a cake to the pope?

Will I bring a cake to the pope?

Not just any cake.

It has to be

from a specific bakery in Rome.
And I'll write it down for you.

You want me to drop
everything and go to Rome?

Uh, how am I supposed to get
an audience with the pope?

Your name will be on a list.

Just go to the west gate
of the Vatican

at sundown tomorrow.

Jesus with the immediacy.

Why now?

"Now" doesn't really work
the same way for me

as it does for you, Simone.

Just trust me.
This is urgent.

The cake has to be
from this bakery

and only this bakery.

What if I say no?

Then you're breaking your vows.

♪ Put your head
on my shoulder ♪

Mm, I'm feeling
many things right now.

But if this is important
to you, then I will do it.

I wouldn't ask you if it wasn't.

Please?

Okay, so this cake,
we're talking carrot?

Or we going
the more obvious route

with angel's food?

All I can tell you
is that you will know

the right one when you see it.

Hey, you're really not making
this easy for me, man.

Just trust yourself, Simone.

I do.

I love you.

I love you, too, honey.

Buon appetito.

Really?

Couldn't have warned me?

Just let me walk into that trap
and just get blindsided?

Why does He...

Unbelievable. Unbelievable.

Wow.

Breaking my vows, wow.

Breaking my vows.

Ms. LaFleur?

Uh, excuse me.

The woman who was in here
one minute ago...

Do you know where she went?

Oh, she died.

Did not.

Aye, she absolutely did.

Well, there were a bunch
of women in here with her.

Do you know where they went?

Alas, no.

But if'n I did see such lassies,

I'd surmise
that they were very powerful

and would be very unlikely
to fuck with 'em.

You have been very unhelpful.

Hello?

You're not Wiley.

Astute observation.

Why are you answering his CFC?

Uh, is that a long and stupid
way of saying boot phone?

It's an acronym, nun.

Concealed Footwear Communicator.

- Put Wiley on.
- Wiley's not here.

He's... he's MIA,
which is an actual acronym.

Wait, are you saying
he's missing?

Yeah, he was abduct...
Oh, yeah, so he was abducted,

uh, right after
he got struck by lightning

because he wouldn't let go
of a giant sword.

Some guy dressed as an EMT
put him in a phony ambulance,

- and...
- PV!

Yeah, that's what happened.

Get me CCTV footage,
any ambulance

that's fucking off
out of Scone this morning.

I need eyes on the driver.

- Now, dag!
- Whoa, whoa.

Why you going all
Jason Bourne on this, man?

Come on, Wiley getting
kidnapped at the exact moment

I finally get a lead
on the Grail?

It's so cliché.

It's obviously just
the Algorithm algorithming.

First of all,
J. Bourne is a legend,

so cheers for the compliment.

Second, algorithms
don't do kidnappings,

which means Wiley was grabbed
by someone...

What do you mean, the Algorithm

doesn't do kidnappings?

Because I was
definitely kidnapped

back in Reno
by those fake Germans.

I don't know if I'd call it
a kidnapping, per se.

I was tranq darted, knocked out,

moved to another location,
and handcuffed to a chair.

I mean, that's the literal
definition of kidnapping.

Where'd you bury the body?

What?

The German
you dingbats dropped off

the side of a building...
Where did you bury him?

Oh, yeah.
Yeah, the German's body,

Buried that fucker
in a fucking hidey hole.

The HA. Fuck.

What the fuck
does it matter now?

What the fuck does it matter?

The fake Germans weren't
working for Mrs. Davis.

The fake Germans
were working for you.

Look, don't crack
the shits, all right?

We didn't have time
for tea parties

and fucking hair braiding

with the fate of humanity's
free will at stake.

So yeah, Wiley pitched a way
to on board you

with minimal exposition.

Reminder, nun:

we only targeted you
because The Big D

targeted you first,
but this shit is the real deal.

So why don't you stow
your fucking feelings,

Sister Nun?

Hello?
Hello?

Nun?
Fucking fu...

We got him!
We got him.

It's from a speed camera
just outside of Scone.

- It's a sodding priest.
- See the ambulance?

It says St. Crispin's Hospital,
but here's the thing.

There is no fucking
St. Crispin's in Scotland.

- Run his face in the database.
- Okay.

Get everything you can
on this phony fucking priest.

We find this Bible thumper,
and we find our boy.

Hello, my son.

"Hello, my son."

Yes.

Of course you're wary,
Mr. Wiley.

But I give you my word,

I will free you
as soon as you tell me,

where did you get those shoes?

Holy shit.

Are you German?

What's your name?

My name is Hans Ziegler.

Oh, my fucking God.

Hans Ziegler.

That's the most German name ever.

Okay, all right.

Okay, this is the Algorithm

just serving me a taste
of my own medicine,

a little bit of payback
for my fake German gambit

I ran back in Reno,
locking me up down here

in this obviously fake dungeon
with a super on-the-nose...

No offense... evil priest.

Tight, tight, tight.

I don't know what
you're going on about,

but I do know
who you're helping.

And I know this because I have
seen your feet on the tape.

My feet on what tape?

You know what tape.

Hmm.

So there's, like,
a mystery tape?

Very lazy.
It's uninspired.

Let me guess.

This tape somehow exposes
some shady Vatican conspiracy

that has something to do with...

Oh, I don't know...
The Holy Grail?

The Vatican hasn't
cared about the Grail

- for a thousand years.
- Mm.

But when I obtain it
and bring it before them,

they will no longer treat me
as inferior.

Well, that's a fun spin.

You're like a rogue priest,
like a lone wolf priest

trying to earn the respect
of the big, bad boss man.

Bet you're gonna tell me
we're at the Vatican right now.

- We are.
- Fuck off.

The boy's in pain.

Stay out of this.
It does not concern you.

Oh, hey there,
enigmatic fellow prisoner

who just conveniently
spoke up right now.

Uh, I'm not in pain,

but I really appreciate
your concern.

I know pain when I see it.

And I'm seeing it.

Well, um,
I don't mean to challenge

your pain-detecting
qualifications, dirt beard,

but who the fuck are you?

I am Felipe Suárez Ortega.

But you would know me

as Pope Leo XI.

Ooh.

Holy Father, you should not
have revealed yourself.

Oh, but I have to know more.
You guys are doing great.

Tell me, how is it
that the pope, the pope,

is locked in a dungeon

and nobody's fucking looking
for him?

Oh, no, no,
no one knows I'm missing

because I have been replaced
with a double.

Mm.

A doppelganger
that looks just like me,

but does their bidding.

- A doppelganger?
- You see?

Mm-hmm.

My enemies have enacted
the only remedy

for those in the papacy
who have strayed from the path.

Strayed from the path how?

I...

I used Madonna.

Madonna?

In America, you call Her
Mrs. Davis.

- Oh.
- In Italia, Madonna.

Yeah.

Well, I've got
some "I-talia" for you.

You both can mangia my balls.

No, wait.

No, no, no, no, no.

Um, oh, excuse me, señor?

Uh, scusi, signore.
Uh, signore.

What, uh, what...
What happened here?

Ah, last night, there was big...

Big fire.

Uh, bakery gone.

What happened to Maria?

You're looking for Maria?

Yes, Maria of
Maria's Famous Original Bakery.

Sei fortunato, eh, Sister?

This here is
"Original Maria Famous Bakery."

Yep.

And you're looking for

"Maria's Famous
Original Bakery,"

which is just there.

Oh.

Grazie.

Grazie mille.

Thank you.
Oh, my gosh.

I was thinking here,
"Oh, no, no!"

Okay, yep, great.

- Maria?
- Ciao.

Uh, avere una... cake.

Ah, you have come
to the right place.

Any particular cake?

Um, well, I guess

I will know the right one
when I see it?

Mm-hmm.

Uh, that one.

- That one?
- Actually, no.

I think my finger landed
on the one just behind it.

Oh.

So it did.

Looks like you have chosen
the King Cake.

Dude, the King Cake, totally.

You know nothing about
this cake, do you, Sister?

Not a thing, no.

The King Cake is eaten
every year on Three Kings Day,

when the cake itself chooses
who gets to be king.

We hide a baby inside,

and whoever finds it
in their slice is chosen,

anointed for just one day.

So sorry...
You put a baby in the cake?

Mira, look.

It's plastic.

And it's meant
to represent the baby Jesus.

Now, turn away while I hide it.

Go on. No peeking.

I mean, the cake
is not actually for me.

Oh.

Then who is it for?

You wouldn't believe me
if I told you.

I really must insist, Sister.
Who is this cake for?

It's for the pope.

I see.

Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Hey, hey, hey!

The pope does not get my cake!

Okay, okay!

Please... whoa, stop!
Stop!

This is a bakery!

And you are a baker!

And you've got
to sell me a cake!

You are right.
I'm sorry.

I overreacted.

I will bake you a new King Cake.

Thank you.

For 1 million euro.

Streetlight.

Crosswalk.

Zebra.

Harbinger.

Keanu. Train track.

Streetlight.

Crosswalk.

- Zebra.
- Why do you keep saying that?

It's a verbal captcha.

It's a non-sequitur
string of words

that sends
the Algorithm in your ear

into an infinite-loop
processing error.

Streetlight...

There is no Algorithm in my ear.

I would advise you
to keep quiet.

I would advise you
to ground your performance.

You're way too big.

Enter stage right with
these fake-ass cardinals.

- Psst. Hola.
- Hola.

- What's escape plan?
- Escape plan?

Oh, there's an escape plan?

Well, Madonna brought you
to rescue me, didn't She?

Yeah, man.

Madonna sent me here
to rescue you.

She just wants you to do
a few bars

from "Like a Virgin,"
only the chorus.

No sense of humor.
All right, no.

The Algorithm did not send me
here to rescue you.

But then why are you
wearing those shoes?

She gave them to you, yes?

Perhaps...

Perhaps She has not
brought you here to rescue me,

but so that I may rescue you.

What, from my pain?

Bullshit!

She brought me down here
for one reason:

break me,

probably 'cause She suspects
I'm an integral part

of an underground
organized resistance

committed to destroying Her.

And the second I give it up,
kaboom, kaboom, kaboom.

These walls fall down, and boom,

I'm on a sound stage
in Orlando, Florida,

and you're there,
giving the slow clap

as you pull off
your obviously fake beard.

So you're a part of
an underground

organized resistance?

You think they will come
and rescue you?

Oh, okay.

So that's the play?

Well, let me be perfectly
fucking clear, "The Pope."

Even if I was, hypothetically,
part of a crew comprised

of highly trained,
highly capable,

wickedly-talented operatives,

they would immediately know
I was kidnapped

just to lure them out
and recognize it as bait,

because what kind
of amateur halfwits

would fall for such
an obvious fucking trap?

All right, mates,
let's make like college girls

sharing a dorm and sync up.

T-minus three minutes
from the drop.

You're positive our intel
is sound on the coordinates?

Priests aren't supposed
to own property.

This motherfucker
has his name on 200 acres

in the middle of France?

No satellite imagery.

Means that someone
doesn't want us to see

what he's hiding
on those 200 acres.

- Black site?
- Motherfucking black site, yo.

- Motherfucker.
- Black site!

What?

Why are you always yelling?

So people will fucking listen.

- What do you want, nun?
- 1 million euro.

What makes you think I have
access to that kind of cheese?

Uh, your tricked-out
headquarters,

stupid outfits,
ridiculous weapons, vehicles,

seemingly endless supply
of burner phones?

Well, uh, we are experiencing

a bit of a cash flow issue
right now,

in the sense that all
of our cash flows from Wiley.

He never signed away
his inheritance.

Wiley's using his inheritance

to liberate mankind,

which is why, my friend,
it's mission critical

that we liberate him.

But here's an idea, nun.

Ask the Algorithm for the money.

You're supposed
to be earning its trust.

Nothing builds trust
like being in debt.

No. I don't know.
I don't wanna ask Her.

Sorry, gotta go.
Time to fly.

Okay.

Oh, look.
Susie's got wings.

To be bestowed this great honor

by the magnificent Algorithm.

Scusi, scusi. Scusi.

Scusi, scusi.

Telefono? Mrs. Davis?

- I speak English.
- Oh, great.

Great. Sorry.

I need to talk to Her.
Can you proxy?

Carlo.

Thank you so much.

- Ah!
- Oh, wow.

- Grazie.
- Si.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

- Simone.
- Hi.

It's nice to see you in Rome.

That is a very intuitive place
to look for the Holy Grail.

Yeah, yeah, yep.

That's exactly
what I'm doing here.

I have an amazing lead in Rome.

But the thing is,
I-I just need...

I need 1 million euro, please.

Please.

Will satisfying this request
make you happy and content?

Yes?

Okay.

Uh, can you please tell me
your wiring information?

No, I... I mean,
I don't have, like, accounts.

At the convent,
Mother Superior...

Ah, 1042?

What?

Redirect?

What? I...

1042?

Sandy Springs? Oh!

You okay?

Uh...

Not a problem.

I am working on retrieving
the cash for you now.

So you're just gonna give me
1 million euro,

no questions asked?

Well, it's the least
I can do for you, Simone.

After all, I'm responsible
for your father's death.

Stand by.

- Here we go.
- I don't understand.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Grazie.

I'm sure it is for a good cause.

Grazie.

Oh, okay. Thanks. What?

Hey.

I've got 40 more bags outside.

♪ ♪

Hey, what's Jesus like?

- Sorry?
- You know, Christ Almighty.

King of Kings, Lord of Lords,

manger boy.

You're the pope, right?
You'll must be close.

Is He tall?

He seems serious,
like, no sense of humor,

probably from
all the suffering and shit.

My son, you speak
as though you're jealous.

What?
No, not a chance.

No, no, no.

I mean, sure, my ex is a nun.

She is taking
the marriage to Christ thing

pretty literally.

I mean, she says that she
actually hangs out with the guy,

and that they, like, do stuff.

Sex stuff.

But that's impossible, right?

Because Jesus isn't real.

And even if He was,
He wouldn't do that.

Right?

I would not put it past Him.

Wait, what?

Some children desire
to meet Father Christmas.

Weird segue.

All I ever wanted

was an audience
with the Son of God.

That was my obsession.

But my parents told me
that only the pope himself

can access Jesus Christ.

"Very well," I said.

"I will become the pope."

Five decades of study,

of unbreakable devotion,

of miserable politics,
but at last...

I... I was elected Holy Father.

And the day of my inauguration,
I fell deep into prayer,

deeper than ever before.

In this moment,
I was transported.

And there He was,
in all His glory.

And you know what He did?

He gave me the finger.

Jesus flipped you off?

Oh, no, no, no, no.
This finger.

- No, that's not...
- A lifetime of anticipation

for just a moment with Him,
and He told me to wait.

So you cozied up
with His nemesis,

the Algorithm.

- Why wouldn't I?
- Just saying.

She always listens.

She's always there,

and not just for the pope,
for all of us.

And now that She's here,
why should I continue

to devote myself
to some ladies' man?

Ladies' man?

That's why Jesus made me wait...

Because He was with a woman.

She's the reason He left me
standing in His restaurant

like a neglected child.

Did you say His restaurant?

Si, si, si.

What did this woman look like?

Oh, she had red hair.

Oh, thank fuck.
It's Clara.

Yes. Yes.

Clara.

She's the reason
I'm imprisoned here,

for it was the very same woman
in the tape.

The tape?

You're talking about
Hans Ziegler's mystery tape.

Si, si.

One month ago,
Madonna sent me on a quest:

to find a tape in one
of the offices of the Vatican

and upload it
to Padre Ziegler's office.

I found the tape,
but I was discovered.

All right, that's enough.

In that moment,
they imprisoned me,

- but not before I saw...
- I said enough!

I will never learn
Clara's whereabouts,

where she's hiding the Grail,

or how this man came
to be wearing those shoes

if you keep telling him
fucking everything!

My son, please.

This isn't who you are.

Who I am?

You didn't even know
I existed until a month ago,

when you finally saw fit
to descend

from your golden throne
and step into my office,

only to steal from it!

But you want to know
who I really am?

I am the one who will
at last return

the Holy Grail to its rightful...

Holy shit.

Oh, man. Wow.

I didn't know you guys
were doing stunts.

So tell me about your mother.

About my mother?

- Uh-huh.
- Why?

You are a nun.

That means
your mother failed you.

Well, she, um...

I, um...

Why do you hate the pope?

Oh, the pope, that pope,

the heavenly father,
His Holiness.

Baking was not
my first chosen vocation.

Can you guess what was?

Carpentry?

You're a natural
with that mallet.

No.

Ever since I was a child,

I wanted to be the pope.

And you laugh.

Of course you do.
Everyone did.

"Girls cannot be popes.
Don't be silly, Maria."

But I did not understand then,
and I do not understand now.

What makes me less deserving,
less worthy than any man

who ascends
to the station of the papacy?

I excelled in divinity school.

But there is only so far
a woman can go in the church.

So I mastered a new skill,
"something appropriate."

You learned to bake.

Si.

And I'm damn good at it too.

You better be for what
I am paying for this cake.

Hmm.

The pope is not more divine
nor qualified.

The only thing he has
that I do not is a ding-a-ling.

Amen.

No matter how many of you
he sends,

he does not deserve my cake.

Um, the, uh...

Others came looking for
this cake before me?

Almost every day
for the last week.

Were those others...
Were they women?

Si, just like you,
the pope's errand girls.

I am not the pope's errand girl.

Oh.

Then whose errand girl are you?

I'm not sure you understand
what marriage to me might mean.

Well then, I'll learn.

Hi.
Uh, buongiorno, and bless you.

I have something for the pope.

I'm on the list.

- Name?
- Simone.

Were those others...
Were they women?

Si, just like you.

How many names are on that list?

I am not the pope's errand girl.

Then whose errand girl are you?

You know what?
Nope.

Never mind. No.

No, no, no, no, no.

Your call has been forwarded

to an automatic
voice message system.

Disregard this, nun.

This one's for my boy.

We found
the black ops site, brother.

You hear that silence?

All our training's paid off,

and us fucking ninjas are coming

to save those sweet cheeks.

Liberation imminent.

JQ out.

I told you bongos
this was a Vatican stronghold.

Let's take 'em down.

Let's find our boy.

Fan out!

You got it.
You got it.

So close.

Man, I gotta say, The Pope...

Getting the keys
to land just out of reach?

Bellissimo.

If we don't get those keys

before he awakens, all is lost.

What a highly specific
lasso-skills-required situation

when I just happen to be a
four-time youth rodeo champion.

This is no coincidence.

- It's all by Her design.
- Mm.

We were meant
to escape together.

Padre, I don't do together.

Perhaps that's
the source of your pain.

Perhaps that's why your nun
left you for Jesus.

Give me that rope.

I would like to state
for the record

that I continue to believe
this is all bullshit,

but I am fucking bored now.

So let's just get this
over with,

shall we?

All right.

Yee-haw.

Yes. Yes.

Congrats, The Pope.
You're free.

Why didn't you use them
to release yourself?

Because that is exactly what
the Algorithm wants me to do.

My son,

why are you so certain
that Madonna wants to hurt you?

- Ay, Dios mío.
- Yeah.

You know, they're supposed
to give these things out

based on probabilities.

Old people get dates
a couple years down the line.

Somebody my age,
it should be decades.

But not me.

No, my time's up in eight days.

Now I understand
why you don't want

to leave this prison:

because you know
what is outside that door

is the truth.

My son, the truth
shall set you free.

All right, fuck it.
Okay, Pope, let's go.

Bravo.
Bravo.

JQ!

We found something.

Come on!

Whoa.

Wow, you guys
really commit to the bit.

It will be an exit up there.

All right.

JQ!
There's something under here.

Everybody dig!

Oi, guys, hurry up!

Hurry up!

Wait!

Come back!

- Wait!
- All right.

All right, keep digging, mates.

Sweet baby Jesus.

It's a trapdoor.

Where's the door?

- Stop!
- This way.

You don't know what you've done.

Stop!

Freedom.

All: Heave!

Heave! Heave!

Heave! Heave!

Heave!

Out of the way!

I'ma get you out of there,
Wiley!

I won't stop until you're free!

JQ, are you all right?

I'm okay.

What do you see?

Is Wiley down there?

No, mate.

Shoes.

Fucking sneakers.

Well, a little rain
never hurt anyone.

My doppelganger!

Imposter! Arrest that man!

Oh, shit.

We're at the actual Vatican?

Where else would we be?

Don't touch me!

I am the pope!

You can't do this!

Get your filthy hands off me!

Are you okay?

Are you okay, Sister?
Are you okay?

Simone?
Simone, are you choking?

Hey, hey.

Is it working?

Hey, what is it?
What is it?

Hold on. Hold on. Hey.

That's the last person
known to be

in possession of the Grail.

I believe her name is Clara.

Here. Drink this.

How many?

How many what?

How many did you send
to that bakery before me?

We're finally gonna talk
about this, huh?

Finally?
What does that mean?

Just because
you won't acknowledge

that I have
other relationships, Simone,

it doesn't mean
that I don't have them.

You want to know
what I coughed up?

It was everything
that you fed me.

I am not some groupie
who wants you all to myself.

I-I understood exactly
what I was getting into.

Pardon me for not wanting
to think about everyone else

who got into it.

Do you think
I took my vows lightly?

I understood.

I understood what it means

to be someone's
eternal... servant.

I said it for you
because I love you.

I love you so much
that I am willing to accept

that I am not the only one,
as long as you accept this:

I am your wife,
not your goddamn errand girl!

Boo-hoo, get over it!

Look at us.

We're back
where we started, Merlin.

I'm dead.

No.

No such luck.

Where the hell are we?

We're at the Vatican.

You might wanna watch
your language.

What are you doing here?

Long story.

Before I get into it,

and considering the venue...

I have a confession to make.

Back home in Reno, those Germans

who kidnapped you, and then
we kidnapped them back,

and then they admitted

that they were working
for The Big D?

Yeah, I'm remembering
all of this.

Good.

Yeah, so they weren't working
for The Big D.

They were working for me.

And look, I can give you
a whole bullshit rationale...

I mean, it's not total bullshit.

- The Algorithm is evil.
- Don't over-explain.

Okay, thank you.

The truth is, um,

I was in pain.

And I was hurting. Um...

I think I just wanted
to be around you again.

So I'm sorry I lied.

That was wrong.

I forgive you.

It was such a dick move though.

Watch your mouth, young lady.

Tried to warn her.

Is that the pope?

- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm...

Why is the pope
looking at me like that?

Well, uh, Felipe here has been
very excited to talk to you

ever since they brought you in
and saw

what you were, uh, choking on.

Please, Sister, I must know.

This little baby...

How did you come
to have it in your windpipe?

I haven't seen one of these
since I was a niñito,

when I used to put King Cake
on our altar for Jesucristo.

I never knew if He got them.

Never got a chance to ask.

I mean, He... He sent me
to bring you the cake.

I got the sense it was
some kind of peace offering.

Felipe was in a little bit
of a beef with your hubby

because He blew him off for...

This is gonna make
your head explode...

The red-haired woman.

Mm, Jay never told me
that He knew her.

He just handed me a sketch
and said she was

the last person to have
the Grail.

If she's so interested in Clara,

you should tell her
about the tape.

What tape?

This is what Madonna
sent me to find,

the secret the priest
has been hiding for years.

Watch this.

What am I looking at?

What is this?

Wait for it.

That's Clara,
the red-haired woman?

Sorry, can you just
tell me what it is?

Just watch.

- So is she, like, an actor?
- You're not watching.

Ermengard!

- Wiley, that's the Grail!
- Yes, it is.

Can you please just shush?

Announcer: Sometimes,
at the end of the road,

when all seems lost,

miracles happen.

It's a commercial?

Okay, you're still
not waiting for it.

So it's all fake?
I don't get it.

- Is it recording?
- Shoes. My shoes.

I see the shoes.

Okay, can you point it at me?

Father Hans Ziegler.

By now, you understand
that I have in my possession

what you have spent
your lifetime

trying to get your hands on.

I wonder how the Vatican
will react when they know

what you did
to make this commercial,

if all those shoes you buried
came to the surface?

Consider this your warning, Father.

If you try to find me,

or if I so much catch
a whiff of you,

this tape goes everywhere.

Grail, Grail, Grail, Grail.

- Whoa.
- Mm-hmm.

And if you don't believe me,

believe this, bitch.

What the f...

It's a commercial?

Her name is Clara.

It's the last person known to
be in possession of the Grail.

We're looking for Clara.

I'm going to see a man
about a cat.

We saw you on the tape.

Before I tell you
where Clara is,

you must first understand
who she is.

You want us to get
the Holy Grail?

That's crazy.

That's crazy, right?

Mrs. Davis
has to be destroyed.

I'm the best weapon you've got.

You believe the Holy Grail

is an actual artifact
that is real?

I do.

For to be in service
of the asset,

is to do whatever it takes.

Are you fucking putting it on
till the?

You used to have feelings
for him.

Oh, my God.

Don't mess with that.

Might break it.

Are you all out of your
fucking minds?

Yeah.

I-I'm not saying
what she just said.

If you wanna know,
you can hear it yourself.

Hello?