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1
00:00:02,446 --> 00:00:04,804
Hey. How was your big
date night with Maya?
2
00:00:04,805 --> 00:00:05,805
Didn't happen.
3
00:00:05,806 --> 00:00:06,939
Oh, what?
4
00:00:06,940 --> 00:00:08,775
You were so excited for
the full sensory experience
5
00:00:08,776 --> 00:00:10,143
of unprotected sex.
6
00:00:10,144 --> 00:00:12,779
Yeah. I was very excited to
test drive my new vasectomy.
7
00:00:12,780 --> 00:00:16,183
Unfortunately, my son Danny,
AKA the libido killer,
8
00:00:16,184 --> 00:00:18,285
came in with a, "soy elbow."
9
00:00:18,286 --> 00:00:21,121
You guys should just get
a hotel room and go nuts.
10
00:00:21,122 --> 00:00:22,322
Is that a real suggestion?
11
00:00:22,323 --> 00:00:24,424
That's something that you think
is in the realm of reality for me?
12
00:00:24,425 --> 00:00:27,146
Okay. God, you're so cranky.
Just have sex already.
13
00:00:27,148 --> 00:00:28,528
- I'm not cranky, I'm just...
- You are cranky!
14
00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:29,996
No, I'm just telling you
what the reality is.
15
00:00:29,997 --> 00:00:31,464
That is what that is, is cranky.
16
00:00:31,465 --> 00:00:33,166
All available trucks respond.
17
00:00:33,167 --> 00:00:34,334
Report of a loose goose.
18
00:00:34,335 --> 00:00:35,468
Loose goose.
19
00:00:35,469 --> 00:00:36,936
The bird just arrived
in port from Hong Kong
20
00:00:36,937 --> 00:00:39,839
and needs to be quarantined
for possible avian flu.
21
00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:40,873
So this call is...
22
00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:42,008
A wild goose chase.
23
00:00:43,811 --> 00:00:45,446
The address is...
24
00:00:48,449 --> 00:00:50,483
1414 Hollingshead Avenue.
25
00:00:50,484 --> 00:00:52,386
- Truck 12 responding.
- Truck 8 responding.
26
00:00:52,387 --> 00:00:53,686
We got dibs.
27
00:00:53,687 --> 00:00:54,854
No. Actually, we have dibs.
28
00:00:54,855 --> 00:00:56,156
You guys got the last animal metaphor.
29
00:00:56,157 --> 00:00:58,625
Remember the elephant in the
room at the crazy bar mitzvah?
30
00:00:58,626 --> 00:00:59,826
Mm hmm.
31
00:00:59,827 --> 00:01:01,328
You guys got the one down
by the docks, the red herring.
32
00:01:01,329 --> 00:01:03,029
No, no, no. That turned out to be nothing.
33
00:01:03,030 --> 00:01:04,731
Go! Go, go, go, go, go! Go! Go!
34
00:01:04,732 --> 00:01:06,065
- There's a car in front of me.
- Go around!
35
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:07,534
I'm gonna take Highland,
we're just around the corner.
36
00:01:07,535 --> 00:01:08,669
I was gonna say take Highland.
37
00:01:09,337 --> 00:01:10,503
Hey everyone.
38
00:01:10,504 --> 00:01:12,004
Just a reminder, we're doing
our animal adoption today
39
00:01:12,005 --> 00:01:14,754
so I'll need at least one team
back at the office.
40
00:01:14,756 --> 00:01:15,786
Get out of the way!
41
00:01:15,788 --> 00:01:16,909
Move! We're gonna miss this.
42
00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:19,212
Please do not cross over
the mid line of the seat.
43
00:01:22,683 --> 00:01:25,318
Truck 8 at the scene.
We have eyes on the goose.
44
00:01:25,319 --> 00:01:26,887
Repeat, we have eyes on the goose.
45
00:01:27,655 --> 00:01:29,055
Yeehaw!
46
00:01:29,056 --> 00:01:33,426
Truck 12 returning to precinct
for animal adoption day.
47
00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:35,094
Okay. Please don't say it like that, Frank.
48
00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:36,763
It's a big community event.
49
00:01:38,232 --> 00:01:41,100
Oh my God, that honk
just gave me goosebumps.
50
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:44,271
We really got your goose on this one.
51
00:01:44,272 --> 00:01:45,372
That's a lot of puns.
52
00:01:45,373 --> 00:01:48,775
Frank, this goose is officially cooked.
53
00:01:48,776 --> 00:01:49,843
Nice.
54
00:01:50,197 --> 00:01:51,245
Hey!
55
00:01:51,246 --> 00:01:52,512
Come here, buddy. It's okay.
56
00:01:52,513 --> 00:01:53,681
Come here.
57
00:01:54,783 --> 00:01:55,915
- Whoa.
- Whoa.
58
00:02:16,371 --> 00:02:24,371
sync and corrections by solfieri
www.addic7ed.com
59
00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:29,882
Today only,
free spay and neuter
60
00:02:29,883 --> 00:02:31,318
with any adoption.
61
00:02:31,319 --> 00:02:32,382
Hey.
62
00:02:32,384 --> 00:02:34,153
Hi. I really like this rooster.
63
00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:36,122
They are a big responsibility
if they're a pet.
64
00:02:36,123 --> 00:02:37,890
- Where do you live?
- I'm in the dorms.
65
00:02:37,891 --> 00:02:39,392
Ooh. Could I interest you in something else?
66
00:02:39,393 --> 00:02:41,093
Maybe a turtle or a long novel?
67
00:02:41,094 --> 00:02:43,563
- Um...
- What's up Precinct 22?
68
00:02:43,564 --> 00:02:46,165
Hey Rick! How you doing, buddy?
69
00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:48,835
Better now. I love adoption day.
70
00:02:48,836 --> 00:02:50,303
Wait a minute.
71
00:02:50,304 --> 00:02:52,605
- There's something different about you.
- Oh, is there?
72
00:02:52,606 --> 00:02:54,106
Whoop!
73
00:02:54,107 --> 00:02:55,107
You got a new ear!
74
00:02:55,108 --> 00:02:56,175
This one's from Denmark.
75
00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:58,144
It was waiting on my doorstep this morning,
76
00:02:58,145 --> 00:03:00,112
snapped right into place.
77
00:03:00,113 --> 00:03:02,949
- Who's this guy?
- Oh, this is Toby. Fresh out of a bath.
78
00:03:02,950 --> 00:03:05,017
I brushed his teeth with
liver-flavored toothpaste,
79
00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:07,354
which feels like a lateral move breath-wise.
80
00:03:07,355 --> 00:03:08,488
Let's find this boy a home.
81
00:03:08,489 --> 00:03:09,956
This is the best dog in the house.
82
00:03:09,957 --> 00:03:11,958
Toby and I actually started
here the same week.
83
00:03:11,959 --> 00:03:13,593
Oh, that's great. Where's Emily?
84
00:03:13,594 --> 00:03:14,661
Ah, in her office.
85
00:03:14,662 --> 00:03:16,797
Don't you wanna hear more
stories about the dog?
86
00:03:17,965 --> 00:03:19,267
They're boring as hell.
87
00:03:21,001 --> 00:03:23,135
Good morning. Just wanted to pop my head in
88
00:03:23,136 --> 00:03:24,938
and say hi on the big day.
89
00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:29,175
Okay. You just say "hey"
whenever you're ready.
90
00:03:29,176 --> 00:03:30,810
Oh, hi. Uh, sorry, sorry.
91
00:03:30,811 --> 00:03:32,044
Thanks for stopping by.
92
00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:36,516
I'm just... I'm kind of alarmed
right now just because of...
93
00:03:36,517 --> 00:03:37,617
Hey, is that a new...?
94
00:03:37,618 --> 00:03:39,051
Ear? Yeah.
95
00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:41,454
- It's nice.
- Thank you. It was not cheap.
96
00:03:41,455 --> 00:03:43,790
- Oh.
- So, uh... what's so alarming?
97
00:03:43,791 --> 00:03:45,525
I just...
98
00:03:45,526 --> 00:03:48,861
Um... the inventory is off.
Something is missing.
99
00:03:48,862 --> 00:03:51,831
Don't sweat it.
Most of the big stuff is insured.
100
00:03:51,832 --> 00:03:54,000
The smaller stuff often times shows up.
101
00:03:54,001 --> 00:03:55,568
It's a tranquilizer dart.
102
00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:57,737
Got it. You will have
to have that back today.
103
00:03:57,738 --> 00:04:00,307
It's a dart full of a federally
regulated drug.
104
00:04:00,308 --> 00:04:02,409
I could totally get fired for this, right?
105
00:04:02,410 --> 00:04:04,377
You got this. You're gonna track it down.
106
00:04:04,378 --> 00:04:05,378
And if you want,
107
00:04:05,379 --> 00:04:08,047
I can stay and help out with adoption day.
108
00:04:08,048 --> 00:04:09,916
That would be amazing. Thank you.
109
00:04:09,917 --> 00:04:11,851
You think it's possible
that someone on staff took it?
110
00:04:11,852 --> 00:04:14,253
Take a tranquilizer dart
filled with Ketamine?
111
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:15,388
No.
112
00:04:15,389 --> 00:04:19,859
Wait. Yes. There is one
incredibly logical person.
113
00:04:20,861 --> 00:04:21,976
Oh yeah, here we go.
114
00:04:22,576 --> 00:04:23,664
Emily.
115
00:04:23,665 --> 00:04:26,098
Hey. Do you have a sec?
116
00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:27,567
You can't outrun me, goose!
117
00:04:27,568 --> 00:04:28,701
Yeah.
118
00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:31,371
I don't really know how to get
into this so, um...
119
00:04:31,372 --> 00:04:33,607
do you know anything about
a missing tranquilizer dart?
120
00:04:35,075 --> 00:04:37,877
Uh... no I don't. Why?
121
00:04:37,878 --> 00:04:41,714
I did my inventory early and it's off
122
00:04:41,715 --> 00:04:44,183
and I know with your
recreational drug use...
123
00:04:44,184 --> 00:04:46,519
Are you accusing me of mainlining a dart?
124
00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:48,187
No!
125
00:04:48,188 --> 00:04:51,424
It's just I've heard you mention
Ketamine specifically before.
126
00:04:51,425 --> 00:04:53,526
I don't think that's accurate.
127
00:04:53,527 --> 00:04:54,761
Are you kidding me?!
128
00:04:54,762 --> 00:04:57,564
You said sex on Ketamine
is like boinking on a cloud.
129
00:04:57,565 --> 00:05:00,066
No, that doesn't sound
like something I would say.
130
00:05:00,067 --> 00:05:01,468
And then when you went to Idaho,
131
00:05:01,469 --> 00:05:02,702
you came back and you said,
132
00:05:02,703 --> 00:05:06,238
you know what the best thing
about Boise is... Ketamine.
133
00:05:06,239 --> 00:05:08,475
Might I remind you, you stole drugs from me.
134
00:05:08,476 --> 00:05:10,410
Because I thought they were chocolates.
135
00:05:10,411 --> 00:05:11,578
So you claim.
136
00:05:11,579 --> 00:05:13,212
But maybe you should put
yourself on the suspect list.
137
00:05:13,213 --> 00:05:14,313
Okay, this is not constructive.
138
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:16,215
Let's just forget this
conversation happened.
139
00:05:17,551 --> 00:05:18,751
So close!
140
00:05:18,752 --> 00:05:22,054
Not sure you can unring
that bell but, yeah, I'll try.
141
00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:25,492
How'd your call go?
Did you have a nice chat?
142
00:05:25,493 --> 00:05:27,226
Yeah, great. I just need to make one more.
143
00:05:27,227 --> 00:05:28,260
Keep him cornered.
144
00:05:28,261 --> 00:05:31,047
Take your time.
I'll keep chasing the goose by myself.
145
00:05:34,025 --> 00:05:35,040
Hello?
146
00:05:35,042 --> 00:05:36,268
We have a problem.
147
00:05:36,269 --> 00:05:38,096
Emily knows about the missing
tranquilizer dart.
148
00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:39,772
Just one second.
149
00:05:39,773 --> 00:05:41,007
Okay.
150
00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:42,942
How? She doesn't do inventory
until the end of the month.
151
00:05:42,943 --> 00:05:45,111
I thought we had a few more
weeks to find a replacement.
152
00:05:45,112 --> 00:05:46,479
Yeah, well she did it early.
153
00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:49,281
Why? Does that nerd think
she's going to get extra credit?
154
00:05:49,282 --> 00:05:51,652
Ah, Darlene. Just one more sec.
155
00:05:52,753 --> 00:05:53,953
Does she suspect us?
156
00:05:53,954 --> 00:05:55,922
No, not yet.
But it's only a matter of time
157
00:05:55,923 --> 00:05:58,124
before she finds out we used it
on the mountain lion.
158
00:05:58,125 --> 00:05:59,426
You do know it has a name, right?
159
00:05:59,427 --> 00:06:02,328
C-38. Man, you're so weird about him.
160
00:06:02,329 --> 00:06:04,631
Yeah, well if this goes up
the chain, he gets euthanized.
161
00:06:04,632 --> 00:06:06,365
Yeah, and I will get deported,
162
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:08,267
which is even more tragic because I'm human.
163
00:06:08,268 --> 00:06:10,438
Okay. I thought your guy at the zoo
was gonna steal us a dart.
164
00:06:10,439 --> 00:06:12,138
He's not responding to my messages.
165
00:06:12,139 --> 00:06:14,774
Shocker that your black market
Ketamine connection is a flake.
166
00:06:14,775 --> 00:06:16,275
And why did you have to tranq him?
167
00:06:16,276 --> 00:06:19,145
He was lunging at us.
We'd both be dead if I didn't.
168
00:06:19,146 --> 00:06:21,481
Man, Emily's all over this thing.
169
00:06:21,482 --> 00:06:22,682
I'm gonna have to find a way
170
00:06:22,683 --> 00:06:23,683
to distract her at the office.
171
00:06:23,684 --> 00:06:25,652
Maybe send her on a wild
goose chase of her own.
172
00:06:26,854 --> 00:06:28,621
It's a real shame you said that, Frank.
173
00:06:28,622 --> 00:06:30,022
Do you think you could track down a dart
174
00:06:30,023 --> 00:06:32,792
- by the end of the day?
- Yeah. Sure. I'm on it.
175
00:06:32,793 --> 00:06:33,894
- Okay.
- Bye.
176
00:06:33,895 --> 00:06:35,795
Victoria!
177
00:06:35,796 --> 00:06:37,008
What!!!
178
00:06:37,010 --> 00:06:38,465
Emily... can I talk to you for a second?
179
00:06:38,466 --> 00:06:40,033
Yeah. Um, just one sec.
180
00:06:41,034 --> 00:06:42,134
Hey.
181
00:06:42,135 --> 00:06:43,703
Hey, uh, Victoria told me
all about the missing dart
182
00:06:43,704 --> 00:06:45,505
and I'm sure you are all over it
183
00:06:45,506 --> 00:06:46,873
but I just wanna let you know
184
00:06:46,874 --> 00:06:48,374
that I'm here if you need any help.
185
00:06:48,375 --> 00:06:50,910
Thanks. You're gesturing
a lot with that turtle.
186
00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:52,344
Oh. Right.
187
00:06:52,345 --> 00:06:55,181
Darlene, hey. Congratulations
on your adoption.
188
00:06:55,182 --> 00:06:57,150
And remember, they live 80 years.
189
00:06:58,986 --> 00:07:01,053
So, are you gonna run
some kind of investigation?
190
00:07:01,054 --> 00:07:02,154
Probably.
191
00:07:02,155 --> 00:07:03,923
Yeah. Do you have any
interrogation experience?
192
00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:07,093
No. I actually hate making
people feel uncomfortable.
193
00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:09,095
I love making people uncomfortable.
194
00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:11,698
So we should team up.
A little good cop, nervous cop?
195
00:07:11,699 --> 00:07:15,001
Uh... yeah, okay. Yeah, sure, thanks.
196
00:07:15,002 --> 00:07:17,069
Yeah, I can already see the flop sweat.
197
00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:18,370
You are a natural at this.
198
00:07:18,371 --> 00:07:19,371
What?
199
00:07:20,407 --> 00:07:21,407
No.
200
00:07:26,179 --> 00:07:27,379
He sure does seem affectionate.
201
00:07:27,380 --> 00:07:28,581
Oh yeah, he's a great dog.
202
00:07:28,582 --> 00:07:31,884
He's very loving, smart,
house broken, had all his shots.
203
00:07:31,885 --> 00:07:33,219
He is the full package.
204
00:07:33,220 --> 00:07:35,788
Well... maybe not full. He's fixed.
205
00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:37,724
We've got a big yard for him
to run around in.
206
00:07:37,725 --> 00:07:39,425
Three acres, all fenced.
207
00:07:39,426 --> 00:07:41,227
Three acres? Take me home.
208
00:07:43,597 --> 00:07:45,097
Well, we'd love to fill out an application.
209
00:07:45,098 --> 00:07:47,935
Oh yeah? Absolutely.
But first we should talk anal glands.
210
00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:50,570
His need to be expressed regularly
211
00:07:50,571 --> 00:07:52,572
and he is not a big fan of the process.
212
00:07:52,573 --> 00:07:53,706
Okay. Sure.
213
00:07:53,707 --> 00:07:55,074
It's a full sensory experience
214
00:07:55,075 --> 00:07:57,409
and you gotta wear clothes
you're not afraid to throw away.
215
00:07:57,410 --> 00:07:59,312
And that has to happen weekly.
216
00:08:02,883 --> 00:08:04,717
Yeah. We're, um...
217
00:08:04,718 --> 00:08:06,986
we're gonna take a lap and think about it.
218
00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:08,988
Oh. Are you sure?
219
00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:11,390
Okay. I know it's a big decision,
220
00:08:11,391 --> 00:08:13,961
I'm just not sure he'll be here
when you come to your senses.
221
00:08:14,895 --> 00:08:15,962
Thought you had 'em.
222
00:08:15,963 --> 00:08:16,996
Yeah.
223
00:08:16,998 --> 00:08:18,431
Gotta work on your closing game.
224
00:08:20,735 --> 00:08:21,768
Hey.
225
00:08:21,769 --> 00:08:22,769
Hey guys. What's up?
226
00:08:22,770 --> 00:08:24,003
Unfortunately there's a situation.
227
00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:25,672
There's a tranq dart missing.
228
00:08:25,673 --> 00:08:26,711
Oh my God.
229
00:08:26,713 --> 00:08:28,074
Yeah, and considering the fact
230
00:08:28,075 --> 00:08:30,777
that we keep the darts in here,
we came to see you.
231
00:08:30,778 --> 00:08:32,979
If you're trying to find out
who's been in the exam room
232
00:08:32,980 --> 00:08:35,582
can't you just look through
the video footage?
233
00:08:35,583 --> 00:08:36,949
What? What?
234
00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:38,751
The bear is a camera.
235
00:08:38,752 --> 00:08:39,786
It is?
236
00:08:39,787 --> 00:08:41,453
Yeah. I have to record
everything that happens here
237
00:08:41,454 --> 00:08:43,255
per the State Board of Veterinary Medicine.
238
00:08:43,256 --> 00:08:45,024
Yeah, but a toy bear?
239
00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:46,121
Talk to the City.
240
00:08:46,123 --> 00:08:47,827
I've been trying to get a new
camera for over a year now.
241
00:08:47,828 --> 00:08:49,495
It's definitely on my to-do list.
242
00:08:49,496 --> 00:08:51,931
Unfortunately watching any of this footage
243
00:08:51,932 --> 00:08:53,833
is a real can of worms, privacy-wise.
244
00:08:53,834 --> 00:08:56,468
There's First Amendment issues,
Third Amendment issues.
245
00:08:56,469 --> 00:08:58,337
Isn't Third Amendment no
soldier shall be quartered
246
00:08:58,338 --> 00:08:59,672
in a house during peacetime?
247
00:08:59,673 --> 00:09:01,708
- Yeah.
- Look, it just all goes to privacy.
248
00:09:01,709 --> 00:09:03,009
Am I being overly cautious? Perhaps.
249
00:09:03,010 --> 00:09:04,276
Now, I'm gonna go to the bathroom
250
00:09:04,277 --> 00:09:07,347
and then we'll dive right in
and start violating some rights.
251
00:09:08,949 --> 00:09:09,982
There's a video.
252
00:09:09,983 --> 00:09:12,284
- What?
- Colette's got a teddy bear cam.
253
00:09:12,285 --> 00:09:14,153
So, there's footage of me
taking the tranq dart?
254
00:09:14,154 --> 00:09:15,487
Yeah, unless you wore a disguise.
255
00:09:15,488 --> 00:09:17,324
- Where are you?
- I'm on the toilet.
256
00:09:17,931 --> 00:09:18,965
'Kay.
257
00:09:18,967 --> 00:09:20,827
Look, I'm gonna have to find
a way to delete that footage.
258
00:09:20,828 --> 00:09:21,828
Did you get the dart?
259
00:09:21,829 --> 00:09:22,895
Not yet, I've struck out everywhere.
260
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:24,989
- But I have one more card to play.
- Bye.
261
00:09:24,990 --> 00:09:27,534
We need to get
back into sync here. Victoria!
262
00:09:28,669 --> 00:09:30,336
Victoria!
263
00:09:30,337 --> 00:09:32,571
And if you get to my rank
you don't have to do this.
264
00:09:34,474 --> 00:09:36,208
Oh, hello Kiwi.
265
00:09:36,209 --> 00:09:37,810
I'm cashing in my favor.
266
00:09:37,811 --> 00:09:38,978
Really?
267
00:09:38,979 --> 00:09:41,213
Yeah. I need a tranquilizer dart
and I need it today.
268
00:09:41,214 --> 00:09:42,548
Yeah, I can't possibly...
269
00:09:42,549 --> 00:09:44,483
Really? You said you'd do anything.
270
00:09:44,484 --> 00:09:46,185
Hey, I'm still trying to figure
out what you were doing
271
00:09:46,186 --> 00:09:47,854
in that Tacoma dinner theater that night.
272
00:09:47,855 --> 00:09:49,355
Yeah, and I still don't know
what you were doing
273
00:09:49,356 --> 00:09:50,923
in an amateur production of Hair.
274
00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:53,192
But in exchange for handing
over the full-frontal footage,
275
00:09:53,193 --> 00:09:55,762
you gave me a check, and I'm cashing it in.
276
00:09:55,763 --> 00:09:58,330
Alright. I see your little game. I'll play.
277
00:09:58,331 --> 00:09:59,565
I'll see what I can do.
278
00:09:59,566 --> 00:10:00,867
That's what I thought.
279
00:10:02,903 --> 00:10:03,903
You all good?
280
00:10:05,505 --> 00:10:06,538
I see you've met Toby.
281
00:10:06,539 --> 00:10:07,674
He's so friendly.
282
00:10:07,675 --> 00:10:09,608
I know. He's the greatest dog.
283
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:12,511
Looks like he's border collie
and some cattle dog.
284
00:10:12,512 --> 00:10:14,113
Sounds like you really know your dogs.
285
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:17,083
Yeah, I used to train them
in my Special Ops unit in Afghanistan.
286
00:10:17,084 --> 00:10:18,117
Cool.
287
00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:19,551
Toby seems great.
Can we start an application?
288
00:10:19,552 --> 00:10:22,255
Absolutely. Yeah.
Just sit right here for me.
289
00:10:23,590 --> 00:10:25,391
I just have a few questions for you.
290
00:10:25,392 --> 00:10:26,592
In case of deployment,
291
00:10:26,593 --> 00:10:28,627
who would be Toby's primary caretaker?
292
00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:30,963
- My wife.
- Your wife. And where is she today?
293
00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:32,800
- She's at work.
- And work is?
294
00:10:32,801 --> 00:10:34,466
- Real estate.
- Real estate.
295
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:35,567
Mm hmm.
296
00:10:35,568 --> 00:10:36,737
Volatile.
297
00:10:38,238 --> 00:10:40,740
Okay, let's talk alcohol consumption.
298
00:10:40,741 --> 00:10:43,209
How many glasses would you say
you have a week?
299
00:10:43,210 --> 00:10:45,612
We'll start with you and then
we'll get to your wife.
300
00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:49,481
We're gonna keep looking. Let's go, Otis.
301
00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:50,583
No!
302
00:10:51,251 --> 00:10:53,053
I only had a few questions left.
303
00:10:54,955 --> 00:10:56,790
He clearly has a drinking problem.
304
00:10:57,958 --> 00:11:00,126
Okay. Nothing, nothing, nothing.
305
00:11:00,127 --> 00:11:01,660
There's Kyle the tech wearing headphones,
306
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:02,729
doing a little dance.
307
00:11:02,730 --> 00:11:04,463
That's embarrassing for him.
308
00:11:04,464 --> 00:11:06,132
Nothing. Nothing.
309
00:11:06,133 --> 00:11:09,135
Oh, me coming in for a second.
Zipping through that.
310
00:11:09,136 --> 00:11:10,670
Wait, wait. What are you doing?
311
00:11:11,638 --> 00:11:13,605
Oh. I was just getting supplies.
312
00:11:13,606 --> 00:11:14,941
Moving along, that's boring.
313
00:11:14,942 --> 00:11:16,809
Ooh. No, no, no. Frank, stop.
314
00:11:16,810 --> 00:11:18,845
Are you doing formaldehyde curls?
315
00:11:18,846 --> 00:11:21,748
No, I'm just checking the... Yes, I was.
316
00:11:21,749 --> 00:11:23,015
We have a gym on site.
317
00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:25,151
Those are exactly 27 pounds apiece.
318
00:11:25,152 --> 00:11:26,452
It's a very specific workout
for vascularity.
319
00:11:26,453 --> 00:11:27,854
Wait. You're not gonna
take off your... wow.
320
00:11:27,855 --> 00:11:28,988
Oh... Frank, come on.
321
00:11:28,989 --> 00:11:30,022
You know what?
322
00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:31,423
No. You know what?
I was just fast-forwarding.
323
00:11:31,424 --> 00:11:32,658
It's a very warm room.
324
00:11:32,659 --> 00:11:34,693
It's like a hot yoga room practically.
325
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:36,595
You know, I feel like my rights
have been violated.
326
00:11:36,596 --> 00:11:38,164
Okay. I... I'm taking over.
327
00:11:38,165 --> 00:11:39,999
You've lost keyboard privileges.
328
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:41,934
- Yeah. I don't even want it.
- Go.
329
00:11:42,269 --> 00:11:45,004
Probably lost exam room privileges as well.
330
00:11:45,005 --> 00:11:46,305
Definitely.
331
00:11:46,306 --> 00:11:48,608
Okay, moving on from that.
332
00:12:10,630 --> 00:12:12,065
What the hell is that?
333
00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:18,305
Oh no!
334
00:12:26,814 --> 00:12:28,081
Where are you?
335
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:33,420
There you are. And... delete.
336
00:12:34,988 --> 00:12:37,389
And there I am.
337
00:12:37,390 --> 00:12:38,524
You're a monster, Frank.
338
00:12:38,525 --> 00:12:42,929
A swole, fully jacked... monster.
339
00:12:42,930 --> 00:12:44,364
Save.
340
00:12:48,401 --> 00:12:50,436
We got him cornered. Okay. You go that way.
341
00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:52,530
Ready. Set.
342
00:12:52,532 --> 00:12:53,705
- Go!
- Be right back.
343
00:12:53,706 --> 00:12:55,442
Where are you going?
344
00:12:55,443 --> 00:12:57,609
We had the son of a bitch cornered!
345
00:13:01,628 --> 00:13:02,715
Here you are.
346
00:13:02,716 --> 00:13:03,716
A newspaper.
347
00:13:03,717 --> 00:13:05,584
Where did you even get that, a newsie?
348
00:13:05,585 --> 00:13:06,752
Okay, we're square now. Got it?
349
00:13:06,753 --> 00:13:07,786
Yeah. We're square.
350
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:10,389
What, what, what... shht! What's it for?
351
00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:12,791
- None of your...
- Shht! You can tell me, you can tell me.
352
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,626
- Please, go now.
- You can tell me.
353
00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:15,627
A leopard?
354
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:16,708
Seriously?
355
00:13:16,710 --> 00:13:18,211
A leopard? A leopard?
356
00:13:22,170 --> 00:13:23,203
Okay.
357
00:13:25,038 --> 00:13:26,405
We did it!
358
00:13:26,406 --> 00:13:27,606
We got the goose!
359
00:13:27,607 --> 00:13:29,108
No. I... I did it. You did nothing.
360
00:13:29,109 --> 00:13:30,576
Now make yourself useful,
361
00:13:30,577 --> 00:13:32,078
take a picture of me with my bounty.
362
00:13:32,079 --> 00:13:33,812
- Here. Look at that.
- You got him?
363
00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:35,047
We're like best friends.
364
00:14:06,313 --> 00:14:10,082
Hey. Um... I found something.
365
00:14:10,083 --> 00:14:11,418
It's bad.
366
00:14:16,957 --> 00:14:18,090
I told you it doesn't look good.
367
00:14:18,091 --> 00:14:19,292
No, it doesn't.
368
00:14:24,497 --> 00:14:26,165
- Hey, Patel.
- Frank!
369
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:27,833
Can we talk for a sec?
370
00:14:27,834 --> 00:14:30,469
Oh, I'm very popular today.
Emily wants to chat too.
371
00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:33,473
There's footage of you covering
the camera in the exam room.
372
00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:36,708
Please tell me it stayed covered.
373
00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:37,843
It did.
374
00:14:37,844 --> 00:14:39,278
What were you doing in there?
375
00:14:39,279 --> 00:14:41,514
Ah... I can't say it out loud.
376
00:14:49,856 --> 00:14:52,291
I masturbated in the exam room.
377
00:14:52,292 --> 00:14:53,994
- What?
- Shh!
378
00:14:53,995 --> 00:14:56,628
Uh... please explain.
379
00:14:56,629 --> 00:14:58,230
When someone gets a vasectomy, the chamber,
380
00:14:58,231 --> 00:14:59,831
it has to be cleared no less than 40 times
381
00:14:59,832 --> 00:15:02,568
prior to having unprotected sex.
382
00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:05,137
Now as you know, last night
was a very special date night
383
00:15:05,138 --> 00:15:06,305
for me, but I got to work
384
00:15:06,306 --> 00:15:09,141
and I realized I was one shy on my count.
385
00:15:09,142 --> 00:15:11,343
And you have that heightened
fertility, right?
386
00:15:11,344 --> 00:15:12,811
Exactly. I couldn't risk it.
387
00:15:12,812 --> 00:15:15,247
So I went to the exam room
where I know there are locks
388
00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:16,682
and that's where I...
389
00:15:16,683 --> 00:15:18,684
- Okay.
- Of course, it was all for naught
390
00:15:18,685 --> 00:15:21,087
'cause Danny stormed in on us
last night like the vice squad.
391
00:15:21,088 --> 00:15:22,321
So what am I supposed to do?
392
00:15:22,322 --> 00:15:24,490
Should I just, like...
do I need to confess to Emily?
393
00:15:24,491 --> 00:15:26,059
- No.
- No.
394
00:15:26,060 --> 00:15:27,093
Don't. That's a tough one to spin.
395
00:15:27,094 --> 00:15:28,727
So what, am I gonna get fired?
396
00:15:28,728 --> 00:15:30,929
- It's not great.
- What, 'cause I love my wife?
397
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,618
- No.
- You had a wank.
398
00:15:32,620 --> 00:15:33,703
At work.
399
00:15:33,705 --> 00:15:34,900
But we won't let that happen.
400
00:15:34,901 --> 00:15:37,203
- Nuh-uh.
- Why was she even looking at the footage?
401
00:15:37,204 --> 00:15:38,737
Because there's a missing tranq dart.
402
00:15:38,738 --> 00:15:39,871
And she thinks I took it?
403
00:15:39,872 --> 00:15:41,373
But you didn't because we know who did.
404
00:15:41,374 --> 00:15:43,175
- Who?
- It doesn't matter who took it.
405
00:15:43,176 --> 00:15:44,776
Just know that it was done
for the most heroic
406
00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:48,447
and noble reasons and he, or she...
407
00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:51,450
Or they... will go down as legends.
408
00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:52,951
One day the tale will be told.
409
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:55,387
But for now, I actually think there's a way
410
00:15:55,388 --> 00:15:58,390
that this could work for you
and that other party.
411
00:15:58,391 --> 00:15:59,625
Other party... you mean you guys?
412
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:00,959
- No.
- It's not us.
413
00:16:00,961 --> 00:16:02,461
- Yeah, you guys are the other party.
- Nuh-uh.
414
00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:03,595
- Nope.
- Sounds like you.
415
00:16:03,596 --> 00:16:04,905
- No.
- It's not.
416
00:16:04,907 --> 00:16:07,265
Well, whoever it is, I'm in.
And I know it's you guys.
417
00:16:09,069 --> 00:16:10,436
He's a special guy, isn't he?
418
00:16:10,437 --> 00:16:11,537
He really is.
419
00:16:11,538 --> 00:16:13,272
I can't believe nobody wanted him.
420
00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:15,941
Is that really accurate?
That no one wanted him?
421
00:16:15,942 --> 00:16:16,975
What do you mean?
422
00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:18,711
I wanna play you something.
423
00:16:20,047 --> 00:16:24,617
Wassup! Wassup!
424
00:16:25,918 --> 00:16:28,087
Did you, like, record the commercial?
425
00:16:28,088 --> 00:16:29,721
Wassup!
426
00:16:29,722 --> 00:16:32,891
No. That's a bird. My bird, Emilio.
427
00:16:32,892 --> 00:16:34,960
He has said that phrase every time
428
00:16:34,961 --> 00:16:37,464
I've walked in the door
for the past 16 years.
429
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:40,599
Wassup!
430
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:43,069
Emilio was here in the shelter
when I was a rookie
431
00:16:43,070 --> 00:16:44,803
and I became attached.
432
00:16:44,804 --> 00:16:46,105
There were some people who wanted him
433
00:16:46,106 --> 00:16:49,408
but I kept finding ways to sabotage it.
434
00:16:49,409 --> 00:16:51,843
So, you think I ruined things
for Toby on purpose?
435
00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:53,612
I think you have a huge heart,
436
00:16:53,613 --> 00:16:55,614
and you just need some guardrails.
437
00:16:55,615 --> 00:16:58,285
This job will eat you up if you
get too invested in the animals.
438
00:16:59,086 --> 00:17:00,587
Wassup!
439
00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:02,622
That's the last one.
440
00:17:04,124 --> 00:17:05,191
Who's this guy?
441
00:17:05,192 --> 00:17:06,993
Careful, he sleep bites.
442
00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:08,661
Shred.
443
00:17:09,129 --> 00:17:12,098
Sorry. Disregard. Do you wanna say hi?
444
00:17:12,099 --> 00:17:14,200
- Yeah.
- His name's Toby.
445
00:17:14,201 --> 00:17:15,768
Hi Toby.
446
00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:19,972
- Would you like to fill out an application?
- Yeah.
447
00:17:19,973 --> 00:17:22,007
Yeah, yeah. Thanks.
448
00:17:22,008 --> 00:17:23,676
He's a really good boy.
449
00:17:26,979 --> 00:17:29,115
Patel has something he wants to say.
450
00:17:29,116 --> 00:17:30,350
Go ahead.
451
00:17:31,351 --> 00:17:33,018
I took the tranq from the closet.
452
00:17:33,019 --> 00:17:34,386
Oh, Patel.
453
00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:36,888
Tell her everything,
it's nothing to be embarrassed about.
454
00:17:38,325 --> 00:17:39,791
It was last week.
455
00:17:39,792 --> 00:17:40,892
Victoria was sick,
456
00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:43,362
and I wish to God it weren't true, but...
457
00:17:43,363 --> 00:17:47,899
I hit the sauce, Emily.
Both Arby's and horsey.
458
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:49,735
I was three beef and cheddars deep
459
00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:53,672
and between all the extra sauces
and melted cheese...
460
00:17:53,673 --> 00:17:55,073
I sauced my gun.
461
00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:57,309
So, of course, then I took it
apart to clean it,
462
00:17:57,310 --> 00:18:00,045
and forgot to put the dart back in.
463
00:18:00,046 --> 00:18:02,548
When I realized my mistake,
I ran back to the park
464
00:18:02,549 --> 00:18:04,150
but there's no dart.
465
00:18:04,151 --> 00:18:05,817
So, the dart is still missing?
466
00:18:05,818 --> 00:18:07,553
Or is it?
467
00:18:07,554 --> 00:18:09,388
I heard that story and I followed a hunch.
468
00:18:09,389 --> 00:18:12,391
And as I suspected, it rained
on the night of the 23rd.
469
00:18:12,392 --> 00:18:13,692
A real downpour.
470
00:18:13,693 --> 00:18:16,195
Okay. It's Seattle, it's not that unusual.
471
00:18:16,196 --> 00:18:18,230
I sent Victoria back
to the scene of the crime
472
00:18:18,231 --> 00:18:19,432
where she discovered...
473
00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:21,701
The dart.
474
00:18:22,269 --> 00:18:25,537
Bulls eye. Just like in darts.
475
00:18:25,538 --> 00:18:26,738
It was in the storm drain.
476
00:18:26,739 --> 00:18:28,607
Where it had been
washed away by the rain.
477
00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:29,719
Case closed.
478
00:18:29,721 --> 00:18:33,379
Emily, your witness. So... case reopened.
479
00:18:33,380 --> 00:18:34,381
Yeah.
480
00:18:35,548 --> 00:18:37,283
Okay.
481
00:18:37,284 --> 00:18:40,186
Well, the dart is back so
the inventory will be reconciled
482
00:18:40,187 --> 00:18:43,422
and I guess that is the most
important thing.
483
00:18:43,423 --> 00:18:45,291
Yeah! A real happy ending.
484
00:18:45,292 --> 00:18:46,592
I'm so sorry.
485
00:18:46,593 --> 00:18:48,194
Yeah, I appreciate that.
486
00:18:48,195 --> 00:18:52,564
But I am still obligated
to take disciplinary action.
487
00:18:52,565 --> 00:18:55,435
So you are suspended for a week.
488
00:18:57,370 --> 00:18:58,538
Well, that's harsh.
489
00:18:59,606 --> 00:19:01,308
Didn't see that coming.
490
00:19:01,541 --> 00:19:02,741
I'm sorry, buddy.
491
00:19:02,742 --> 00:19:04,810
But as your union representative,
492
00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:06,578
I think the collective bargaining agreement
493
00:19:06,579 --> 00:19:08,146
is pretty clear.
494
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:10,449
That suspension's with pay, correct?
495
00:19:10,450 --> 00:19:11,483
That is correct.
496
00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:15,221
He just is not allowed
to come into work at all.
497
00:19:15,222 --> 00:19:18,056
Not even to catch up on paperwork?
498
00:19:18,057 --> 00:19:19,292
Okay, we're done here.
499
00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:21,794
Okay.
500
00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:40,947
- Rough day?
- Very rough day.
501
00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:44,283
Did I ever tell you about
my amazing air vent?
502
00:19:44,284 --> 00:19:45,351
I don't think so.
503
00:19:45,352 --> 00:19:46,352
No?
504
00:19:49,289 --> 00:19:51,323
Just to sterilize dog bites obviously.
505
00:19:51,324 --> 00:19:52,992
That was here the whole time?
506
00:19:54,461 --> 00:19:57,696
Thank you, uh, by the way for today.
507
00:19:57,697 --> 00:20:00,832
You were like a superhero out there.
508
00:20:00,833 --> 00:20:03,034
You got, like, eight dogs adopted.
509
00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:05,103
Yeah. Sometimes I miss this job.
510
00:20:05,104 --> 00:20:07,806
I mean, don't get me wrong,
I also like being independently wealthy.
511
00:20:07,807 --> 00:20:09,708
But I love the camaraderie.
512
00:20:12,612 --> 00:20:13,613
So...
513
00:20:14,981 --> 00:20:16,982
Did you get your situation resolved?
514
00:20:16,983 --> 00:20:18,484
You still look a little haunted.
515
00:20:18,485 --> 00:20:20,520
- Can I ask you a question?
- Sure.
516
00:20:20,521 --> 00:20:21,620
What do you do when you're pretty sure
517
00:20:21,621 --> 00:20:22,854
a couple of your employees
518
00:20:22,855 --> 00:20:24,490
are feeding you a complete load of bull,
519
00:20:24,491 --> 00:20:26,057
but you're scared to call them on it,
520
00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:27,192
'cause if you do
521
00:20:27,193 --> 00:20:29,194
they could actually get
in pretty serious trouble?
522
00:20:29,195 --> 00:20:30,962
Well this seems very hypothetical.
523
00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:34,165
- Yeah.
- It's not always black and white,
524
00:20:34,166 --> 00:20:36,234
sometimes what's technically
the right thing to do
525
00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:38,704
isn't what's best for the precinct.
526
00:20:38,705 --> 00:20:40,433
- It's a tough one.
- Yeah.
527
00:20:40,435 --> 00:20:43,309
And it's not like I can talk
to anyone on the staff about it.
528
00:20:43,310 --> 00:20:44,344
No.
529
00:20:46,313 --> 00:20:49,181
It's kinda lonely being the boss.
530
00:20:50,383 --> 00:20:51,583
I know exactly how you're feeling.
531
00:20:51,584 --> 00:20:54,686
Yeah, it seems like you do. Like, a lot.
532
00:20:59,158 --> 00:21:01,159
Wassup?
533
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:02,894
Remember? 'Cause your bird.
534
00:21:02,895 --> 00:21:04,029
I remember.
535
00:21:04,030 --> 00:21:06,732
Yeah. Anyway, I found Toby a home.
536
00:21:06,733 --> 00:21:09,935
He's about to leave.
Do you guys wanna come say goodbye?
537
00:21:09,936 --> 00:21:12,004
- Yeah, yeah.
- Totally.
538
00:21:12,005 --> 00:21:13,271
Yes.
539
00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:16,376
The family's a little sketchy
but I'm learning to let go.
540
00:21:17,844 --> 00:21:21,347
♪ Let the midnight special ♪
541
00:21:21,348 --> 00:21:25,083
♪ Shine the light on me ♪
542
00:21:25,084 --> 00:21:28,387
♪ Let the midnight special ♪
543
00:21:28,388 --> 00:21:31,757
♪ Shine the ever-loving light on me ♪
544
00:21:31,758 --> 00:21:32,958
Go Amit.
545
00:21:32,959 --> 00:21:34,960
Baby, block out your calendar
for the next seven minutes,
546
00:21:34,961 --> 00:21:37,696
'cause there's a storm coming Ahhh!
547
00:21:39,673 --> 00:21:42,745
sync and corrections by solfieri
www.addic7ed.com
548
00:21:43,269 --> 00:21:44,469
The new comedy, "Animal Control"
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