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Hey, kid, what's your name?

Milton.

Say Milton, we were
kind of wondering

if you could help us deepen
our relationship with Christ.

I really hate to do this,
kid, but Satan promised me

Maiden tickets if I
pissed on the Bible

before the next full moon.

It should be just
down this ridge, man.

You keep saying, it's
just down this way.

It's just down this way.

I keep having to turn around
all the fucking time because you

keep nodding off on me.

Maybe I wouldn't fall asleep
if you gave me something

interesting to talk about.

Something more interesting.

What's more interesting than
fucking hog feed that makes

them into Incredible Hulk hogs.

Awesome, here's the spot.

Right up here.

It's right up over here.

You got to be
fucking kidding me.

Well, man, I've been dumping
shit in this creek for years.

Taking a dump don't count.

As members of the flock, we
gather in this place of worship

to acknowledge the lessons,
struggles, persecution,

and ultimate triumph of our
Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Of course, we all know
that Christ willingly

gave up his life so that
our sins would be forgiven.

That being said, I found
myself wondering as of late

whether the breadth and
magnitude of Christ's suffering

even moves us
anymore as Catholics.

After all, who
among you even feels

guilt anymore with the full
knowledge that every sin

that you commit lands
squarely on the mutilated back

of our Lord.

What's worse, I
have come to believe

that there are those among you
who have come to celebrate sin,

and the machinations
of the devil's mind,

reveling in TV shows
about adultery and deviant

lifestyles, using social media
to boast about self debasement

and intemperance.

Rock groups that treat Satan
as a philosophical and artistic

inspiration.

Low-rise jeans, condom
giveaways, internet porn,

legalize it t-shirts, pizza
buffets, gay weddings.

All under God's watchful eye.

All with no regard
for his words.

If I could, I would
single handedly put an end

to every one of these sinners.

Send them straight
down from this Earth

to bleed fire for
an eternity in hell.

Let us pray.

All right, what
do you guys think?

Come on, it's bad ass, right?

I mean, what is that?

This is a mutilated
Christ right here.

The logo is supposed to be
like twice the size of that.

I got to squint to make
it out, and most people

can't even read metal logos.

Look, I did a great job.

I mean, I thought we
talked about telling you

the cross was upside down.

Did you like design the shirt
while you were wearing it

and look at it?

Come on, this is metal.

It's awful.

Hey, guys.

Got here as soon as I could.

Wow, you're all set up already.

Oh, yeah.

What are you doing here, dude?

Didn't Jones give you the memo?

No, why?

What up, dudes.

What's up, man.

I'm Vinny.

Hell, yeah, keep my
metal maker warm for me.

Atta boy.

Let's do this shit.

Sticking around to hear how
the nouveau girls are sounding?

Nah, I'm good.

That's cool, bro.

You guys ready to rage?

All right, let's do this.

Got it, guys.

Hey, Zane what's up?

Nothing, everything is down.

Did you just get out of bed?

Yeah, kinda.

Listen, Zane, I need to
talk to you about something.

Oh, fuck, that makes two of us.

Guess what bullshit just
landed in my lap, babe.

Let me go first.

OK.

I think maybe this thing
has run its course.

Like, you're a really
great guy and everything.

I just don't see us ending
up together or whatever.

Wait, wait, wait, like a break?

Kinda, more like a break up.

So we're done?

Done, done?

I just think maybe
it's time to move on.

Stop, Zo.

I can't believe this.

The world hates me today.

You're being a fucking asshole..

This is so... this
is so not cool.

The Holy Saturday
Metal Massacre,

a true gift to our
community year after year.

One that represents values,
hard work, spirit, real music.

The only Midwest metal show that
will give you whiplash so bad

the next day, you wouldn't
dare bend your neck down

for a bite of grandma's
delicious Easter ham.

Six years and counting, my
man, and yet ticket sales

are somehow down again.

This show tomorrow,
it's either going

to catapult me into a new
era of fame and fortune

as one of the Midwest premiere
bookers of metal bands,

or no one will show up.

I'll be laughed out of the bar.

I'll have to start
that generic crap, Country

Crunch.

I don't want that either, dude.

That's why I'll be
cracking skulls tomorrow

to make sure this thing
goes off without a hitch.

So I will definitely need
my number one satanic thrash

killer there to help me out.

You up for the challenge
Dark Lord Danny?

Yeah.

Good, now, we're
not going to tell

your mom about this, right?

If she knew I was spending
my weekends with you

at bars listening to
loud, vulgar music,

she'd be pretty upset.

Do you remember why
mommy would be upset?

Because of her heart.

That's correct.

The nice doctor
took mommy's heart

out because it stopped working.

You remember what she
replaced her heart with?

Septic tank?

That's right.

Now, eat up.

We got an unholy amount of
stuff to do before the show.

Get them.

Yeah, one, two, three.

Yes, come in.

Hello, Father Brennan, you
wanted to speak with me.

Oh, yes, please,
Milton, have a seat.

You've been a priest here
for about a year now, right?

Yes, Father.

It has truly been an
honor in administering

the sacrament for this parish.

I'm very glad you feel that way.

Everybody at St. Mary's
has been very taken

by your passion
for this vocation.

Well, thank you.

Thank you, Father Brennan.

That means so much
to hear you say.

We do, however, have
some things to discuss.

Do you see that vestment there,
and this cross behind me.

Yes, Father.

Those are gifts from my
congregation in Nicaragua.

I keep them as a reminder
of Christ's compassion

and charity.

You see, I was a missionary
there in the early 70s.

We built a school, a small
medical clinic, a church,

and what was... well, it
still is a very poor part

of the country.

When I first arrived there
was a man in the village

who described himself
in his own words

along the lines of
resident theologian,

very angry man, almost sinister.

He would occasionally
interrupt my homilies

with accusations of
witchcraft and heresy.

All such nonsense.

One night, the entire village
was awakened by such screaming

that I had never heard.

This man of aggressive piety had
come home late, found his wife

in bed with another.

He felt spiritually betrayed,
so he took a machete,

and he proceeded to hack his
wife and the lover into pieces.

When the rest of the village
arrived at the house,

there was nothing left.

When asked what had
happened, he said

that God had sent
him on this mission

to perform this mortal
exorcism upon his wife

and the other man.

He seemed proud of himself.

Proud of what he had done.

In his mind, he had seen
Christ's virtue and justice

being performed.

I mean, he was
beaming, very proud

to show the rest of the village
that wrath and vengeance

were central to God's
picture for humanity.

The sin of adultery
is a heavy one.

What?

In this mortal exorcism,
I've never heard of this.

Father Kilborn, we've
had several complaints

about you in the last
few weeks about what you

are saying at your mass.

I personally took over
30 calls last Monday

after your Palm Sunday homily.

So for this reason,
I'm putting you

in touch with a
psychologist here in town.

Someone I've known
for a long, long time.

I'm also suspending you from
your sacramental obligations

for three months.

Father Brennan, you
can't be serious.

I've only sought to
enlighten the parish

on the sinful, wicked,
ungodly ways of the outside...

Milton, Milton, son.

This is the only
course of action.

You need to have faith.

Take some time to figure out
your relationship to God.

But I'm... I'm not
sure if I can...

Think about Nicaragua.

Think about those
handmade vestments.

You think about this cross
from that old church,

and then ask yourself, is
the key to God's kingdom

in fire and brimstone or
compassion and charity.

Whoa, you look like
a ray of sunshine.

Cool observation.

By the look on your
face, I'm guessing

you've been hit by
one of the big three.

A death, a dump, or an arrest.

Come on, man, I'm
really not in the mood.

Fine.

So which of the three
are we dealing with.

One, but it feels more
like one and a half.

You and Tracy split?

Correct.

You know, I'd be lying if I said
that was the worst thing that

could have happened to you.

I know.

You didn't like
Tracy, and you didn't

like Jen or Kelly or Rachel.

Yes, I've been
routinely unimpressed

with your choice of girlfriends,
but that doesn't mean I

like seeing you get crapped on.

I know.

I'll be fine.

Just timing couldn't be worse.

How so?

I got kicked out of the band.

Oh, shit.

I'm sorry.

They nixed me out
of the clear blue,

replacing me with some jack off.

Then I go over to Tracy's,
and boom, nixed again,

probably replaced again.

Damn, man.

I'm actually surprised
you're holding up this good.

I listened to Nursing
Home Arson Strategy

about 20 times in a row.

It helped.

That's great.

I'm glad you're on the mend.

OK, OK, let's go for a drive.

Later.

No, I think we should go now.

Let's go now.

OK, come on.

What did I do?

Dear God, what did I
do to deserve this.

I committed my life
to Christ's teachings.

I obediently served my parish.

I would have followed
Father Brennan

to the ends of the Earth.

Have I betrayed father?

Have I been betrayed?

I know that my heart is pure,
and my soul is incorruptible.

How could I be in
this place, robbed

of my station,
ridiculed by my mentor,

denied the blessing
of sacraments.

How could such a thing
have befallen me?

Give me an answer, Lord.

I commend it.

This.

This is what it has
come to me, Lord.

Jeremiah, 17, verse five.

Thus saith the Lord,
cursed be the man

that trusted the man and
maketh flesh his armor

and whose heart
departeth from the Lord.

I have put too much
faith in Father Brennan.

He has led me to
this place to wither

like a tree in the desert.

I must renew my faith
in God and God alone.

Father Brennan's
strength is false.

His faith is weak.

I will not permit him to
dictate the will of God to me.

Zane, check this one out.

Jesus is decapitated.

He's got no eyes, and
he's got devil horns.

Perfect for you.

No, their early work's
way too unpolished.

It's almost like you're
crushed you might not

get to have screwdrivers
jammed in your ears.

Whoa, whoa, hold on.

Grandma Incinerator is my
favorite band in the world

ever.

I saw them at the first
Holy Saturday Metal Massacre

six years ago.

They were my introduction
to extreme metal.

One week ago, I was
in the band that was

going to be opening for them.

They were going to
love us, and Tracy

was going to be really
happy that my band was

starting to take off.

Everything was awesome.

Now, everything is
going to be shit.

If they're your favorite band
ever, you should go regardless.

Right?

I can't go.

Watching Withered Christ
with that dick singing,

people cheering, looking at
me, staring pity into my skull.

Tracy will almost
certainly be there.

I mean, what if she's
there with someone?

Hey, can I help you
headbangers find anything?

Oh, no, just him, just looking.

Do you have the new Gore
God record, Genital Grinder?

Um, I had a few copies, but
they sold out pretty quick.

I could probably order you one.

No, thanks though.

Look, Zane, if this
Grandma's Refrigerator

is really important to you,
you should go no matter what,

no matter what anyone
else says or does

What?

What if you came?

No, no way.

I know you don't like
my metal friends,

and I know you think
most of this music sucks.

Zane, I love you,
but I'm not going.

Oh, come on, Mariah.

I'll never ask another
favor of you again.

I promise.

Nice.

Hey, guys.

Find everything you
were looking for?

Sure did.

Awesome.

$9.62, please.

Thank you.

Can't tell you how
awkward things could

get if I just went by myself.

Here you go.

Hey, you're the lead
singer for that band

Withered Christ, aren't you?

Yeah.

Yeah, dude, I saw your show
last October at the fairgrounds,

and that was fucking sick.

Yeah, that was cool.

Yeah, it was super
fucking cool, and I

heard you guys are opening
tomorrow night for Grandma

Incinerator.

Those dudes are fucking legend,
and it's going to be awesome.

Yeah.

Yeah, OK, well, cool, then
I'll see you guys there,

and party on.

See you.

I'll go.

Really?

Yeah, really.

Thanks, Mariah.

I'll owe you forever.

I should hope so.

OK, so the show's
tomorrow night.

That gives us a little more
than 24 hours to get you ready.

Get me ready?

Judged by man.

By man.

Judged by God.

Why does he have to
deny me my flock?

I am God's choice.

Me.

I think you're
supposed to be here.

Oh, I know.

It's fine.

I was just leaving, my child.

Does Father Brennan
know that you're here?

Oh, I am...

I'm not sure, but I am
quite confident that he'd

be perfectly fine.

OK, I'm going to
go get something

to clean up this door.

Are you lying to me?

Excuse me, father.

Don't, please, stop right there.

What have you come
to confess, my son?

Admit your sins.

Beg for God's mercy.

Do it now, or be
condemned forever.

Confess.

Oh, please, God.

Show me where to go from here.

I place my faith in your hands,
and my life at your feet.

Please, Lord, guide
my troubled hands.

Oh Milton, tell me
it wasn't you.

Hello.

Yes, this is Father Leslie
Brennan at St. Mary's Church.

I'm afraid I'm calling
to report a break in.

Yes, here at the church.

Well, I'm really not sure.

The only person who would
have been here last night

would have been the
parish custodian, Tom.

Yeah, I can't...

I really can't say what...

I didn't spend a lot of
time in the room and...

right, right, well, I just know
that everything was tipped over

and there were some...

Hey, Tracy, what you did
yesterday was fucked up.

All right, Elton
John, that's enough.

Let's go.

Let's go.

Come on.

Showing you a bass.

Let's do this.

Where are the clothes
I brought you?

I kind of wanted to
feel like a human being

until the last possible minute.

Ha, ha, ha.

So what's the plan?

Well, I kind of wanted to
give you a crash course

about the bands at the show.

Oh, you mean the
subtle difference

between a guy screaming
at the top of his lungs,

and another guy growling
like a voided out pitbull.

Yes.

First off, we have
Mutilated by Zombies.

Brutal, technical death.

It's fast, complex rhythms
and riffs, crazy solos,

awesome gory lyrics about...

well, getting
mutilated by zombies.

Creative.

Next up, Telekinetic Yeti.

Two-piece stoner metal.

They'll be loud,
really, really loud.

Both of them look like truckers
with big beards and lots

of psychedelic references.

It'll be slow, heavy music.

They'll probably show
up a little drunk

and then get baked backstage
until it's their turn to play.

How charming.

And finally,
Grandma Incinerator.

Classic, American death metal.

Super heavy, awesome,
fast drums, fast guitars,

pummeling riffs,
guttural vocals.

These guys write songs
about death and mutilation

and botched surgeries
and cannibalism

and all kinds of awesome stuff.

Some of the classics, Sunday
Brunch, Monday Burial,

Wheelchair, Electric Chair,
Open-Grave retirement plan.

Access Ramps to
The Furnace Room.

OK, OK, OK, is that it?

Is it three bands?

Sadly, no.

Withered Christ is a formerly
promising local band comprised

of cowards and
talentless fuck ups.

They used to play
air-tight satanic thrash,

but now suck dick for
cash and will probably

get booed off the stage.

Well, they sound awesome.

Shut up.

So, what do you think?

I think that 12 years
of Catholic school

had absolutely no effect
on you whatsoever.

That's the nicest thing
you've ever said to me.

Showtime.

Fucking shit.

What the hell's that?

Damn it.

You all right, dude?

What the hell are
you doing out here?

Jesus Christ, what
happened to you?

You got any more beer, man?

We're out.

Chuck's supposed to bring more.

Well, where the hell is he?

He said he'd be here
about an hour ago.

That roommate of yours is
quite the little fuck up, huh?

He still working
at Pizza Palace?

Get this.

He's selling knives
door to door.

Fucking hilarious.

So where's the wifey?

I think she's in
the back bedroom.

Said she be on and
off the phone all day.

Family problems, or
something like that.

Oh, so she ain't coming, huh.

Damn, that doesn't sound good.

Yeah, her folks and her
are always fighting.

You should hear half
the screaming that

comes out of that room, man.

Fucking ripping it now, man.

Hell, yeah, man.

I'd drink to that if I wasn't
runninga neat.

Hey, dude, looks
like Chuck's here.

About time.

You got those tickets, right?

Oh, yeah, back pocket.

Man, where you
been with our beer?

You OK, Chuckles?

Dumb ass probably driving
drunk again like always.

Dumb motherfucker.

What the fuck?

That's a lot.

That's a big load, baby.

Oh, oh, please get
me a towel, baby.

All right, man, be sharp.

That fucker could still be here.

Let's go find Whitney.

All right.

Who the fuck is that guy?

Isn't that the kid
from down the street?

Why is he in my fucking bed,
and what the fuck is that?

Is that a goddamn condom?

That mother...

Fucking dammit.

Jesus Christ.

You're fucking lying!

No, man, no.

Got to be fist fucking me.

Relax, maybe he talks
like that to everyone.

Yeah, fuck this.

I need a smoke.

You know, if you are
looking for some new tail

tonight, smelling
like an ashtray is not

going to help you.

Yeah, well, there won't be
many girls here tonight.

Mostly just sweaty dudes.

Great.

Let's just fucking go.

All right.

Do you see her?

Not yet.

Does it always smell
like farts in here?

Hey, guys.

What's up?

Hey, long time no see.

Hey, there's a
problem backstage.

Can't you handle it?

I'm a little busy.

No, you're going to want to
make the call on this one.

All right, take money, and
if you see Danny, grab him.

He's been wandering off.

Where's the bathroom
around here?

The bathroom?

The pisser?

I'll find it myself.

What?

Whoa, man.

What seems to be
the problem, guys?

Look, usually we would
never ask for this,

but we can find Vinny.

He left like a half hour ago.

We don't know where he is.

Well, find him.

Come on, man.

We've looked all over
the neighborhood.

We can't find him.

Just give us a little more time.

Hey, man, you're
supposed to be on in 15.

I give you your chance at the
biggest metal show all year,

and this is how you're
going to thank me.

Just give us the
second slot, and we'll

get all this figured
out, all right?

Fine, but I'm cutting
your door take in half.

If that's what we've got to do.

And I'll give to you guys
what I took from them.

Happy?

Fuck yeah, we'll take it.

All right, that I can deal with.

Good, now, get your shit,
and get on the stage.

All right.

Hey, Zane, what's up?

Oh, hey.

How are you?

Good, you?

So you came, huh?

Yeah, why wouldn't I?

I saw you earlier.

Who did you come with?

My friend, Mariah.

Mariah, she looks different.

Yeah, well, people
change, right?

It's nice talking to you.

Yeah.

See ya.

Hey, man, can we talk?

OK.

What's up?

Vinny bailed.

We can't find him.

And?

And we can't botch
this opportunity.

You think you could help us out?

I suppose I could maybe do that.

Look, I'm sorry
how shit went down.

We can talk about that later.

Where's the set list?

Oh, I don't know if
you're cool with this,

but we've got a little something
planned for the last song.

Something to
celebrate the holiday.

Thank you.

This next one is
Irreversible Torment.

Fuck.

Thank you.

Oh, this motherfucker.

Oh, sick, bro, sick.

Fucking love it.

Fuck you.

Fuck you.

Hey, hey, hey, can
I see your ticket?

Where is Zane?

Where's Zane?

I don't know who that is.

Can I see your ticket?

Long hair, black clothes.

Get everyone out of here.

Someone was murdered,
and I think they're

coming here whoever did it.

Cool, maybe he's got $5 on him.

Please call the police.

You have to.

Sure thing, sweetheart.

Let me call the police..

In fact, let's have
a little survey.

Hey, everyone.

Do you it'd be a great idea
to bring the police out

to the show tonight?

Hey, aren't you Zane's friend?

Oh, don't even start.

Somebody really hurt.

Hello, somebody's strangled.

Zane, Zane, Zane.

Somebody was murdered.

All right, I know you
all have some lighters.

Take them out right now.

Take out your lighters.

I want to see your lighters.

Yes, yes, yes,
yes, OK, thank you.

This is our last song.

It's called

Stay tuned for Telekinetic Yeti.

Thank you.

What now?

So I just got off the phone
with Grandma Incinerator.

And?

They're running a little
late, and they're also

going to need to
borrow some equipment.

You know, like drums, amps,
maybe even a couple of guitars,

some pedals.

So what do you want to do?

Drink.

Thanks.

Zane, Zane, Zane, we
need to leave right now.

I saw some get strangled.

Well some people are
into that...

No, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

it was real.

It was totally real.

Like I saw it.

I saw it from my car.

Somebody's dead.

You need to slow down.

You're not making any sense.

Somebody was murdered.

I can't hear you.

Mariah, let's go.

The look on those
guys' fucking faces.

So what exactly happened?

I was in my car kind of
nodding off to my music,

and I saw this guy,
this massive figure.

He came out of nowhere, and he
started strangli... he started...

What?

This other guy.

He is the bad guy.

The screamer guy.

Who?

Vinny?

Yes.

Good.

No, I'm not... I'm
not joking, Zane.

Hey, Zane, can we talk
for just a minute?

Please, you were great
up there by the way.

Come on, can't I just steal
you away for like five minutes.

No, Mariah and I have to
go talk about something.

I can see if I'll
find you later.

What are you waiting for?

Go.

Look, this is still
hard for me to believe,

but if it would make
you feel better,

we can go to the police station.

OK, I just need to tell
the other guys first.

OK, fine, I'm staying put.

And look, if you're jerking me
around about all this because

of the show or
Tracy or your outfit

or whatever, I'm going
to be really ticked.

Hey, guys.

Is that real blood?

We need to get the
fuck out of here.

Come on.

What's wrong?

I think the battery's dead.

- What?

Let's run.

Let's run.

What now?

What about everyone inside.

We have to warn them.

It's too loud.

No one will hear you in there.

We just have to stop the show.

How do you propose we do that?

Cut the power.

Find me something sturdy.

Maybe I can crack this open.

Here, here, try this.

Hurry, hit it harder.

Want to give this a shot, Hulk?

You fucking asshole.

We talked about this.

Bullshit.

I bought the last fucking round.

I bought the last
three fucking rounds.

You do this every fucking time.

How dare you?

How... .

Find some liquid.

I hope this works.

Did it work?

Fuck, I don't think so.

OK, I think they know.

I think you're right.

Oh, shit, come on.

Guys, chill, we'll
get the power back on.

What the hell?

Oh, fuck.

Stop, let me see your ticket.

Danny, run.

No.

Now, Danny, or no
Morbid Angel for a week.

Fine.

You think you can just come and
ruin the best show of the year,

kill my audience,
fuck up my scene.

I'm Ryan Rammer, asshole.

Oh, fuck me.

I am God's humble servant.

You must atone for your sins.

Which sins exactly, father?

There's so many.

The swearing, the porn,
the lying on my taxes,

the running from my problems?

So did women just not find
you attractive there, father?

Is that what drove
you to priesthood?

Can't imagine why.

You kids know where
the Smokestack is?

You don't want to go.

Everyone's either dead
or in the process.

What?

Someone, something,
it's on a killing spree.

We're going to get help.

Where?

The cops.

Why them?

Because they're the cops.

They have guns.

We don't need any guns.

This isn't our first
bar fight, little lady.

Was the daycare
closed there, father?

Had to crash our crib instead?

Guys, there's nothing
on Earth I'd rather

do than chill with
Grandma Incinerator,

but we should really do
something like right now.

I got these.

Here you go.

You want some of this first?

Hell awaits.

It's Slayer's best
fucking album.

And He shall show no mercy.

Dude, what's with
you and slayer?

Do you think they got him?

If anyone can, it's Grandma
mother fucking Incinerator.

Wait, wait, where
are you guys going?

It's a blood bath in there, man.

Have you been in there, kid?

Fuck this.

You can't just leave us.

Good luck, kid.

I thought you guys were tough.

Just because I sing about
corpses, doesn't mean I

want to become one in
your shitty little town.

What's going on?

He's in the van.

We got to go.

You got the wrong idea, buddy.

We're all about going to
church and worshipping

God and all that shit, man.

We're on the same
side, huh, father?

I mean, Jesus is
really, really cool.

Sh, God knows all, and
he knows your tongue

speaks for the devil.

Father, Father.

What seems to be the matter?

Now, what's all this commotion?

Can we barricade
the door, Father?

We need to call the police.

There was a maniac on the loose.

What is that?

There is a sinner among
you, Father Brennan.

This is a house of worship.

We are all sinners just
yearning for reconciliation.

This one has set fire to
the words of the Lord.

He must pay for this
severe indiscretion.

Milton?

If you are harboring him,
you must give him up now.

It is God's will.

My God, what has
happened to you?

Silence.

I am not Milton.

I am Father Kilborn.

Servant of the Lord.

Sent out of my mortal body
to exact a more pure form

of God's will on this Earth.

I don't understand what
you want, Father Kilborn.

This is Easter vigil.

It's the House of the Lord.

This is my house as
the Lord is within me,

and these wretched kids who
will pay for their sins.

He's looking for me.

Yes, yes, I am.

Milton, what are you doing.

Let these kids go.

This is not what God would
want on the eve of his son's

resurrection.

Yes, indeed.

His son has been resurrected.

He is more powerful than ever.

Your wicked sins will
soon be all that exists.

Your life of offense to God
will soon come to an end.

Seems to me, God would
be pretty offended

by the murder of
innocent people.

Innocent?

You feel that you are innocent.

Those degenerates back
at the bar are innocent.

That unclean woman
you run around with.

I will crush you both
with the hands of God.

Why us?

You're usually too
busy scolding people

who watch porn and smoke weed
and think about global warming

and support abortion clinics and
whatever else you bitch about

in your pathetic homilies.

People forget with that
type of music represents.

Debauchery, and sin,
evil, and sloth.

This church has turned a
blind eye to your community

for too long.

That's not what metal
is about it all, man.

Metal is about being
true to yourself.

Metal is about
outsiders coming...

Fuck you, Father.

I don't think I ever need to
step foot in a church again.

I don't think I ever have
stepped foot in a church.

How does this happen to someone?

I mean, what is he?

How about we give the boys
in blue a call and let

them figure it out.

Yeah, OK.

You know, I do feel kind of bad
for cutting your metal speech

short.

Sounded convincing.

Truer words have never
been spoken staring down

a mutated monster priest.

I wonder if Tracy
made it out alive.

Who knows.

Yeah.

Look, Mariah, thanks
for everything.

It's all good.

What are friends for?

No, it's more than just that.

Divine intervention,
motherfuckers.

This is like the best metal
show ever, daddy!

Hey, it's Zane, right?

Yeah.

Kind of off topic, but you
killed it on vocals tonight.

Thanks.

Can we please get
the fuck out of here

before something else happens?

One of the best sets I've seen.

I was a huge fan.

Get it?

Because there's a
big fan in my back.

Oh my God.

Oh, is this how we kill him.

Yep, we kill him by hitting him.

So we're running
him over right now.

You guys going to watch
a little longer or...

You got this under control?

Yeah, I think I'm just going
to keep running him over

back and forth till
the cops get here.

Good idea.

Where are you going?

Easter family shit.

I hope this new look sticks.

Stick it up your asshole.

He broke my fucking
wrist, but I...

I didn't stop.

I just kept hitting in the
fucking head, and then he...

Hero, Ryan Rammer
single-handedly

stopped what's being referred to
as the Saturday Metal Massacre

massacre.

Reporting live from St Mary's,
I'm Jessica Baker,
TV 6.

I guess, I don't know.

So of course, he's walking out,
and I'm like, you know what?

I'm going to blast him,
so I hit him with the van.

Guts go everywhere, and I just
keep running back and forth,

back and forth, back and
forth, back and forth until you

guys get here. I mean,
he's a bloody pulp

Like, dude, there's no way
he's coming back from this.

You got plans this weekend?

No, not really.

No, I'm not really too
religious so don't really

celebrate Easter.

Yeah, same here.

I always kind of
thought the whole Jesus

thing was a bunch of fake shit.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

Like what kind of
idiot lets himself

get captured by the cops
when he has the magic powers

to make his own alcohol.

Yeah, I think I'm
just going to cruise

the strip for some high
school chicks tonight.

My wife's out of town, and I'm
pretty sure our kids are up

at her folks place.

Yeah, you know what?

That sounds like a great idea.

Mind if I tag along?

Sounds good to me, buddy.

You know me.

There's killin to be done,
we can kill them all.

There's grass on the
field, play ball.