All language subtitles for Cannibal.Women.in.the.Avocado.Jungle.of.Death.1989.1080p.BluRay.x265-RARBG

We're lost.

No, we're not. Look, over there.

- Sam.
- Yeah?

I think we should head back.
We're getting' in too deep.

Aw, but,

wait a sec, what's that I hear?

It sounds like women.

Laughing.

Let's get out of here.

Aw, come on, man,
don't be such a coward.

Let's check this out.

Look at them.

They're beautiful.

Aren't they the most lovely, sensuous,

inviting women you've ever seen?

- Let's get out of here.
- What, are you nuts?

Look at them!

They're dangerous.

They don't look dangerous.

They look lonely.

Well, I'm gettin' out of here.

Well, I'm going to go introduce myself.

Yoo-hoo, ladies!

Ladies!

Hello, hi, hi girls, hi.

Peace, peace?

Not peace, I mean, um, friends?

Come on, guys.

I just wanted an avocado.

Throughout history, the dominant
sex would subjugate the weaker.

Just as the Chinese bound the feet

of young girls to cripple
them into helplessness,

so did the Amazon women
break the legs of boys

to make them subservient.

Is it possible for men and
women to coexist as equals?

That's the subject we'll
tackle in our next class.

Dr. Hunt, I really love your class.

Well, thank you, bunny.
You can call me margo.

I like it so much,

I've been thinking about changing my major
from home economics to feminist studies,

but I wasn't sure if you had
any feminist cooking classes.

I don't think we do, no.

Interesting thought, though.

I mean, the idea of being socially
conditioned to be a sex object.

Wait until I tell the
girls at the sorority.

Bunny, I think you should take a
few more classes in women's studies

before you decide to switch majors.

But, Dr. Hunt, I know I
want to be a liberated girl.

I can just feel it in my toes!

It could be those pointy boots.

- Margo!
- Dean stockwell.

Dr. Hunt, these gentlemen from the united
states government would like to talk to you.

This is Mr. Ford Maddox, U.S. department
of agriculture, and colonel mattel,

national security
commission, avocado affairs.

Avocado affairs?

Miss hunt, this is a a
matter of national importance.

- We need to speak to you immediately.
- Alone.

Dr. Hunt, 98% of the avocados
produced in the United States

come from the state of California.

Most of these come from a jungle area

that spreads from Bakersfield
to the Mexican border.

The avocado belt.

I'm aware of that.

What does it have to do with me?

Miss hunt, maybe you
don't get the point.

Avocados are vital to this
nation's security interests.

The communists are already in
control of Nicaragua and Guatemala,

and El Salvador's
strife with revolution.

California is the last secure supply
of avocados in the free world.

We're on the verge of a major
avocado gap with the Soviet union.

Back in the kremlin, gorbachev is
just chucklin' over his taquitos.

I still don't see what
that has to do with me.

Doctor, have you ever
taken a loyalty oath?

Colonel, let me handle this.

As I was saying,

most of the avocados from the united
states come from the avocado belt,

but they're harvested only on
the perimeter of the jungle,

because, as we all know, the interior
is completely wild and uncharted.

Anyone that strays too close to the heart
of the avocado jungle never returns.

Why?

That's a very good question, bunny.

Perhaps Dr. Hunt would
like to answer it.

It's, it's only a legend, really.

We're convinced that they're real.

The piranha women.

Piranha women, who are they?

They're an
ancient commune of feminists,

so radical, so militant,

so left of center, they,

they eat their men.

Oh, that, well, if I like
a guy, I usually start at

they don't eat their
men like that, bunny.

More like a black widow spider.

They have sex with their
men, and they kill them.

Then they tear them into
strips like beefjerky,

and eat them with guacamole.

So legend has it.

They are more than a legend.
They're a major agricultural problem.

It used to be safe for avocado pickers

to venture within 20 miles
of the jungle's edge.

But lately the piranha women
have broadened their hold.

No one is safe anywhere
in the avocado belt.

Well, if they're that much trouble,

why don't you just send in
the troops and round 'em up?

The fact is, we tried.

We sent in three divisions,
armored, with air support.

The best men we had.

They got whupped.

They didn't play fair.

Our men are trained for
state-of-the-art, high-tech warfare.

Piranha women were
usin' knives and Spears.

The officers got confused, and they

we found these at the
edge of the jungle.

- Dog tags?
- Look closely.

They're covered with guacamole dip.

Now do you get my point, doctor?

Your sisters in the jungle are
eatin' the few and the proud.

Control yourself, colonel.

Look, naturally we would
prefer a military solution.

But, frankly, the U.S. military
hasn't had a lot of luck

in jungle warfare lately.

So, we're forced to negotiate
with the piranha women.

That's where you come in.

We want you to go into the jungle and
try to reason with these man-eaters.

I can't do that, Mr. Maddox.

We just want the piranha women to
move out of the avocado jungle,

to, to a reservation in Malibu.

Deluxe condominiums.

Pool, sauna, ample parking.

Total luxury living.

We are even willing, at
the government's expense,

to convert the exercise room

so that they may maintain their
bizarre sacrificial rituals.

Let me come to the point.

We don't care if these
girls want to eat their men.

That's the piranha man's problem.

We just want the avocados.

And we're willing to pay for them.

I'm sorry, the answer's still no.

It's just like you
girls to stick together.

Why don't you tell us the real reason
you're not gonna go into that jungle?

You'd like to see the
United States humiliated

by a communist avocado yield!

I think you'd like to eat me
right now, wouldn't you, Dr. Hunt?

Dr. Hunt wouldn't
- colonel, control yourself!

Dr. Hunt is a respected
middle-of-the-road feminist.

And I'm sure she'll be
happy to cooperate with us,

especially when she considers how much
this university depends upon grants

from the defense department
for its space weaponry program.

And if miss hunt, Dr. Hunt,

is still unable to see
the logic in assisting us,

why, I'm sure Dean stockwell
will explain it to her.

Won't you, Dean?

Now, now, now, gentlemen.

I will not tolerate
tactics of this kind.

This university is a bastion
of intellectual freedom,

and I am sworn to
protect that freedom.

I will not tolerate my professors

being coerced into anything
against their will,

no matter how much political
pressure is put on me personally.

Margo, you will do
exactly as they tell you,

or I will cut your funding off, and
you can kiss your tenure goodbye.

Comprehendo?

The real question here is,

whether or not this project is worthy
of spritzer college's involvement.

What do you say, doc?

I guess I'm going in the jungle.

Terrific. Nice seeing you.

Thanks again for your help, Dean.

Oh, any time.

There's something
you're not telling me.

Why, what do you mean?

You don't expect me to believe
I'm the first feminist you sent in

to try and reason with
the piranha women.

What's really going on in thatjungle?

I suppose you have the
right to know the truth.

Two years ago, we sent
into the avocado jungle

the leading feminist scholar, Dr. Kurtz.

Internationally famous author of
smart women, stupid, insensitive men?

That explains her sudden disappearance
from the talk-show circuit.

What happened to her?

We really don't know.

She may have been killed,
or perhaps they're holding her prisoner.

It was shortly after her expedition

that the piranha women
went on the rampage.

Well, I guess now that you
know, you'll refuse to go?

Quite the contrary.

Now I know I must go.

No, bunny, you can't come.

But, Dr. Hunt,
why can't I go with you?

Bunny, look, nobody's ever
returned from the avocado jungle.

There'll be countless dangers
and perils along the way.

I can't take a sophomore
into the wilderness.

You don't have the skills or training.

And, besides, you haven't even
finished your general ed requirements.

Now, I'm sorry, bunny.
It's just too dangerous.

Bunny, baby!

Hey, good-looking', how you doin'?

- Hi, chuckie.
- Hi.

Bunny, babe, the super party boys

at the delta epsilon are having
another super party this Friday night.

You're not doin' anything, are you?

Well, I wanted to do
something, but I guess I'm not.

Great, great, look, this is gonna
be a toga party and a beer bust.

And, for special girls like you,

we are going to be having
a wet t-shirt contest.

But all my t-shirts are dry.

Bunny, don't worry about that.

The fraternity brothers,
we're gonna take care of you.

Bun, you ever do any mud wrestling?

I - you're coming with me.

- I get to go?
- You'd be safer in the jungle.

Bye, chuckie.

Patricia, have those filing
cabinets I ordered come in yet?

No, I've had them on
back order for two weeks.

Hm, never mind.

I'm going to do some field
research, and I need some supplies.

Okay, three legal-size pads,

10 Manila envelopes,

a dictaphone recorder,

and four one-hour tapes.

I'll need a bowie knife,
a first-aid kit,

100 feet of nylon
mountain climbing rope,

a breech-loading
revolver, and holster.

A thousand rounds of ammunition.

Full metal jacket, hollow
point, or teflon-coated?

Which do you think would be best
for fighting the dangers that lurk

inside a hostile jungle environment?

I would alternate hollow and
teflon bullets in the chamber.

That way, you have
maximum stopping power,

but still armor-piercing
capability.

Dr. Hunt, yoo-hoo!

Yoo-hoo, I'm ready.

Oh, bunny, don't you think you could have
worn something a little more practical?

We're going into uncharted jungle.

Well, I do have a pair
of flats in my suitcase.

Well, never mind.

If you get in trouble you
can wear something of mine.

Oh, good.

And I brought along some
great lingerie we can share.

Why do the piranha
women eat their men?

Well, primitive cultures often
use overly simplistic methods

of dealing with inter-tribal conflicts.

The piranha women probably figured

that the problems that
arise between men and women

naturally in any relationship are
best solved by ritualized killing.

Do a lot of feminists eat men?

No, bunny.

Well, not many.

You have to understand
that the piranha women

are a primitive, ancient, radical
offshoot of the women's movement.

And most feminists, like
myself and Dr. Kurtz,

well, we believe in
equality between the sexes,

not the domination of women over men.

And there aren't any modern
feminists that advocate cannibalism.

At least not since the sixties.

San Bernardino.

A rough speck of civilization
on the edge of the avocado belt.

We'll head down to some
local establishments,

and see if we can find a mercenary
to guide us through the jungle.

I've never been to
San Bernardino before.

Don't worry, bunny,

we'll be all right.

Hey, chickies, can I buy you a drink?

No, thanks.

- When I offer a chick a drink, I ex-...
- I am not a chick.

I'm an ethnohistorian with a
doctorate in cultural anthropology.

Got that?

- Yes, doctor.
- Good.

Now, I understand that your
compulsion to assault women verbally

stems from a constant exposure to violent and
sexist images from a male-dominated media.

Therefore, I won't blow
a hole in your head.

Thank you.

I'm from the department
of feminist studies at spritzer college.

I want to hire a mercenary
for a very dangerous job.

I'm anvil.

A crazy ex-Vietnam vet who hires
himself out to the highest bidder.

I can rape, pillage,

and napalm an entire southeast
Asian village single-handedly.

I am bushito, the
world's greatest ninja.

I am a killing machine,
master of all the deadly arts.

And if you need a mercenary
to kill and to maim,

I am the best.

I am the black-masked avenger.

World-champion wrestler
and weight-lifter.

I don't need no weapons or guns.

I can crush men with my bare hands.

I can squish 'em, smash
'em, and throttle them.

Look at this.

So, what is your job?

You wanna burn down a small town?

Ah, attack an impenetrable fortress?

Or crush an army of enemies?

I need a guide to take
me to the avocado jungle.

- The avocado jungle?

I wanna make contact
with the piranha women.

- The piranha women?

Uh, excuse me, miss,

uh, I've got to go to the
veterans' center, um,

for some counseling, maybe next time.

I forgot, I'm busy.

There's a showing of the
seven samurai tonight,

at the Newark, and, bye.

Go on nutrisystem, yes.

Lose a little weight.

Ajungle trip is out
of the question, man.

Well, let that be a
lesson to you, bunny.

A bunch of violent brutes wrapped
up in a blanket of male machismo.

Well, they're happy to
victimize the helpless,

but one thing sends
them scurrying away.

One thing strips their phony courage.

The threat of a strong woman.

Not so fast, Dr. Margo hunt,

Ms. Ethnohistorian.

There are still some real
men left in this world,

men who haven't been castrated by
the years of feminist propaganda

that corrupted the public school system
and infected prime-time television.

Men who believe that
nature designed women

to cook, nurture children,
and pose for penthouse magazine.

Real men,

who say our role in this world
is to love, protect, and, yes,

I'm not afraid to say
it, dominate women.

I'll go into the
avocado jungle with ya.

I'll lead you to the piranha women.

I'm man enough to face the dangers

that lurk in the dark
bosom of the jungle.

I'm not afraid of the piranha women,

any more than I'm afraid of
a certain ethnohistorian,

who, terrified of her own
frailty and need to be loved,

abandoned her femininity
in a bizarre charade

of scholarship and androgyny.

Jim, what are you doing here?

You know him, Dr. Hunt?

Sure she knows me, bunny.

Dr. Hunt and I are old
friends, aren't we, margo?

Well

we were in love once.

Desperately and passionately in love.

But that was a long time
ago, wasn't it, margo?

Back when your mind wasn't filled
with bizarre feminist notions

about the meaninglessness of love.

Back then, you were the most giving,
passionate woman I'd ever met in my life.

I turned my whole world
upside-down for you.

We shared our innermost
thoughts and feelings.

We made plans, big plans,
plans for a life together.

And then you dumped me flat,
because I didn't turn out to be

the sort of man who fit in
neatly with the feminist tommyrot

you were being force-fed
by your professors.

It was a one-night stand.

I was half-drunk and left
right after we had sex.

We didn't say eight
words to each other,

and all yours were
composed of one syllable.

Ha, just like you to
count the words, Dr. Hunt.

But what you never understood is,

there are some feelings that
can't be measured in words,

some moments that last an eternity.

You toyed with my affections and,
after you crushed my heart,

I crawled into a whisky bottle,
and I haven't come out since.

You left for Hawaii the next day
with the bimbo in the cafeteria.

Well, yeah, but I had made
that date a week before.

And, besides, the second
I got back from Hawaii, I,

I crawled into a whiskey bottle,
and I haven't come out since.

Ugh, let's go, bunny.

Wait, you said you needed a guide.

I'm the best.

Well, I've changed my mind.
We'll do without one.

Fat chance.

You won't last 10 minutes
in thatjungle without me.

I can take care of myself.

Not in the avocado jungle, you can't.

Do you know whatjungle herb cures
the poisonous bite of the river snake?

Do you know where the only land
route is around the waters of death?

Do you know the way through
the secret maze caves

that lie underneath hangman's cliff?

Huh, do you?

Well, no, I don't.

Do you?

Well, no, but! Have this paperback.

I'll buy my own book.
It's out of print.

You as a guide, how much?

Oh, isn't that fine.

Just like you to treat me like
a gigolo and offer me money,

after all we meant to each other

- how much?
- $25,000.

- Forget it.
- Fifty bucks?

Okay.

That's uh, fifty, plus expenses.

Now, Jim, I don't care
what happened to us before.

That's all in the past.

I've hired you as a guide
with the understanding

that our relationship will be
strictly professional from here on in.

Whatever you say, honey buns.

Get out.

Okay, okay, you're right.

I just slipped.

Strictly professional, that's the way
you want it, that's the way it'll be.

I'll be good, really, I promise.

I guess sharing a
sleeping bag is out, then?

The avocado jungle.

It doesn't look like a jungle.

Hm, the outer regions
aren't very overgrown,

but the foliage gets
thicker the deeper you go.

We're gonna have to leave the
Jeep here and continue on foot.

Yeah, well, you girls better hang back.
This could be dangerous.

We don't want to
make any misstep.

Oh, geez!

Are you okay?

Yeah, yeah, just checkin' the tires.

Yeah, they're good.

I'll, I'll look at the oil later.

He wrecked my nails.

Here it is.

The avocado jungle.

Look around you, bunny.

In front of us, the lush,
untouched rainforest

of the last surviving matriarchy.

Behind us, the polluted patriarchy
of western civilization.

We're leaving a world
dominated by men,

and entering one ruled by women.

Whoop-de-do, just keep bashing men.

In a couple of days, you'll be
dying for a burger king out here.

I doubt it.

Yeah, you women, you're
always bitching and moanin'

about men and the way we run
things, but let's face it.

Who could have ever invented,
but a man, the '64 gto?

Or, for that matter, the corvette
stingray, any year, any model?

All you women have ever done is, what?

Some French chick invented
kryptonite or somethin'.

The important things like beer
and meat, that was all men.

Yeah, it's hard to imagine a
woman inventing nuclear weapons.

Exactly, and where
would we be without them?

And the Nazi blitzkrieg
seemed like a male idea,

not to mention South African apartheid.
How about world war I?

The crusades?
The Spanish inquisition?

The rape of Shanghai?

So men have done a lot of things.

- Uh, Elvis Presley.
- Janis joplin.

- Patton.
- Joan of arc.

How about Tammy bakker?

Jim bakker, Jerry
falwell, Jimmy swaggart.

Jessica hunt,
Fawn hall, Donna rice.

Joseph McCarthy.

Richard Nixon.

Joan rivers.

Joan rivers?

I like Joan rivers,
I think she's funny.

Well, I think Nixon's funny.

Jim, what are you doing?

Hacking out a trail
through the underbrush.

The trail is here.

You're just hackin' at
branches on the side.

Yeah, but I just bought the machete.

It seemed like a shame not to use it.

Anyway, it's good practice for when
the jungle really gets thick, you know?

Sometimes I swing two or
three, then it's really light.

I think you look really
handsome with a machete.

- Well, thank you, bunny.
- Come on, you two.

We've got a lot of ground
to cover before night.

Girls before boys.

- No, no, boy, girl, boy, girl.
- No!

No, that's the way you
do it in the jungle. -No!

Hey, you want some?

What is that?

Pina colada.

Where's bunny?

Funny, she was right

- bunny?
- Bunny!

- Bunny?
- Bunny!

Kitty? Oh, you're so sweet.

Kitty, here.

Oh, good kitty.

Nice kitty.

Are you lost, huh?

Where's your home?

What do you like to eat?

Ooh, look at your eyes.

Bunny!

Oh, no.

Bunny!

Bye.

Bye.

Coming!

- Bunny!
- Bunny!

Oh, her curling iron.

And her Indiana Jones lunch box.

Bunny!

Whoa, look at all this stuff!

Milk duds, good 'n
plenty, nutty buddies.

I had a feeling she
was holding out on us.

Bunny!

I just found a big kitty.

Where have you been?

Don't you know it's
dangerous in the jungle?

You know it's dangerous
to hold out on your friends?

Do you have a band-aid?

You don't have any idea where we are?

Of course I know where we are.
I know exactly where we are.

- Oh, good.
- We're, we're,

- let me see that.
- Honey, honey, honey, please!

I know you think you know
everything about everything,

but when it comes to reading maps,
I happen to be an expert.

All right, now, our best chance
of finding the piranha women

is to take the rio Santa Rosa river.

It runs the length of
the avocado jungle,

and it is, I believe, their
primary source of fresh water.

Well, maybe we can build
a raft and float downstream.

Yeah, good, whatever, all right.

Now, according to my calculations,

with the north star overhead,
and the moon rising easterly,

and allowing for a wind factor of five,

the river should be
approximately 23.6 miles away.

It should take us about
two days to get there.

But the jungle is so lush
and green around here.

Are you sure it's not closer?
I mean

sweetie, sweetie, sweetie, please!

If there's one thing I know,
it's how to read a map.

If you will excuse me,
I'm gonna go to the little boy's room.

Make yourselves busy.
God, women, you know?

They think they know about everything.

I think he found the river.

Maybe that isn't the north star.

They're all dry now, but I
want to get the wrinkles out.

Maybe you could put
a neat military crease

across the front panels
of the pants and shirt.

Oh, sure!

You sure are a good
little homemaker, bunny.

Thanks, I've been taking home
economics for two years now.

But I'm switching my
major to feminist studies.

What do you want to do that for?

I want to expand my mind.

Hm, why?

Gee, I don't know.

Maybe I could become the first
woman president or something.

I followed the
river for about half a mile.

There's the wreckage of a
small boat sunk near the shore.

Now, it's salvageable, we could
use it to travel downstream.

I wonder what it was doing
this deep into the jungle.

You know it?

Yes, yes, I know it.

It was a long, long time ago.

I was young, very young, and stupid.

Very stupid.

I made a mistake.

Power of pilgrims, nasty business.

I panicked, drummed out
of the merchant marine.

Spent the next three years of my life

criss-crossing the globe,
tryin' to live it down.

I'm sorry, I, I
don't want to talk about it.

Whatever.

After that, I crawled
into a whiskey bot...

Ah, Jim, please,
not the whiskey bottle again.

Poor Jim, he doesn't have a tent.

Bunny, he'll be all right.
It's a warm night.

Listen, isn't it beautiful?

He is awfully good.

You're kind of tough on him.

Yeah.

He said he loved you.

And it never would have worked out.

He's an egotistical, chauvinistic klutz.

I think he's kinda cute.

Well, maybe I
am a little hard on him.

Bunny, it's just that he
represents my failures.

Failures, you?

Sure, we all have them.

Can I tell you a secret I've
never told anyone before?

Sure.

In a way, Jim is right.

I am afraid of men.

My relationships have been, well,

I've had a lot of one-night stands.

A little to drink, you
know, give myself an excuse,

then I subconsciously fall forjerks

I know I'll never be
emotionally involved with.

It's all so empty.

Passionless, really.

I guess deep down I'm afraid

that there can never be any real
respect or equality between the sexes.

Not really.

I've avoided commitment
because I'm afraid

I'll be emotionally
dominated by my lover,

or, equally as sad,
that I'd dominate him.

I guess that seems
kind of strange, huh?

Can I tell you something, too, Dr. Hunt?
Something I've never told anybody before?

Of course, bunny.
I'm glad we got to share this.

Well, sometimes when I'm with a guy,

I wish that he'd tie me
up with red licorice ropes

and then spank me, and
then he'd eat the ropes,

and then he'd free me,
and then we'd make love

while the philharmonic played bolero.

Thank you, bunny.

You've really put my
thoughts in perspective.

I feel better, too.

Some red licorice?

No, thanks.

How about you, bun?

Come on, it's a foot-long.

Start on the end, I'll
meet you in the middle.

No, thanks.

Suit yourself.

Let's see if this boat floats, huh?
What do you say?

And over here on the left, we have
the tribal headhunter and trader.

He's got a special for us today.

It's a two-for-one.

Two of his heads for one of yours.

Do we have any takers?

Boy, this is incredible.

He's memorized the entire speech from
the jungle boat ride at Disneyland.

That'll be useful.

I can do the tiki room, too.

- You know everything.
- Can you steer the boat?

Yeah, I know adventureland
like the back of my hand.

Of course, this jungle
can't be much different.

What was that?

Something went under
the boat, something big.

Ah, it's probably just a rock.

Hardly.

A hippo, look!

A hippo, in California?

The palm Springs hippo.

It's a lighter version than its African
cousin because of the low-cholesterol diet.

But it's just as deadly.

Oh my god,
it's charging at the boat!

- We're going to die!
- Man the helm!

Don't let it broadside us, Jim!

Hard to port, hard to port!

Port, is that left or right, I...

Left, left!

Boy.

Did its ears wiggle when it
started to get close to us?

Yeah, their ears wiggle
when they're angry.

Yeah.

This is not the
Disneyland jungle boat ride.

Get real, folks, we
were almost killed.

There's something in the bushes.

I hear something.

Oh, lordy!

Get down!

They're attacking.

I'm coming!

I can't tell.

I think I'm in shock.

Am I bleeding?

What was it that did me in?

Was it rock, a spear, an arrow?

It looks like a knitted potholder to me.

It looks like a doily.

Like a crocheted potholder.

Boy, those piranha women
are stupider than I thought.

What are they gonna get,

attacking us with doilies,
and potholders, and placemats?

You know, women today are just
not the way I thought they'd be.

Well, I don't think
it's the piranha women.

Whoever it is, they're gone now.

Let's go investigate.

Wait, they could have flatware.

It might be dangerous.

Why would someone
attack us, but with potholders?

Well, maybe it
wasn't meant as an attack.

Maybe it was meant as an offering.

An offering?

God, you don't mean - yes.

- Aw, let's go back to the boat.
- No, we can't go back.

We wanna be the first
outsiders ever to make contact.

- They're disgusting!
- Who?

They're not disgusting.

You think that anyone that
chooses to live their life

differently than you is disgusting.

Well, different lifestyles
have different traditions, Jim.

Same like worms, and I don't
have the stomach to look at 'em.

It's just a legend, really,
but in the avocado jungle,

there's a tribe of men who live
apart from the piranha women.

And in cowering fear of them.

They have different cultures, Jim.

They're really very
caring and nurturing.

They're a bunch of weenies!

They make potholders?

Well, they make baked
goods, sew their own clothes,

and they leave out handicrafts
for the piranha women.

And in return, they don't eat them.

Kind of a symbiotic relationship.

Kind of an idiotic
relationship is more like it.

- What are they called?
- The donahues.

Come on out, don't be afraid.

- We won't eat you.
- We promise.

Don't be afraid, look.

I'm an ethnographer.

God, what wimps!

It's a different culture, Jim.

I think they're sweet.

Thank you, it's beautiful.

Donahue, Alan alda,

Mark harmon, Walter mondale.

Get off of me, you wuss, get away.

Ick, I'm not gettin' on my knees.

Great suffering Christ, man,
they're just a couple of chicks!

Donahue?

Oh, thank you, no, I'm stuffed, really.

It was all delicious, though.

Thank you, no.

Oh, yes, thank you.

This tuna fish casserole is a dream.

And the stuffed bell peppers,

they're so good.

Aren't they really good cooks?

Really good wimps, is what they are.

Why does it bother you so much to
see men cooking and performing tasks

generally relegated to women?

They seem happy enough.

You act as if your own
masculinity were threatened

because another man performs
a supposedly feminine task.

Why don't you just be yourself
and let them be who they are?

Because, sorry, pal.

Because no man can be truly happy

acting as a housemaid to
a bunch of man-eaters.

Cooking and sewing just
aren't in the male hormones.

These poor, desperate
wretches don't know any better

because they don't have any role models,
like John Wayne or Stallone, and if they

they'd be violent,
emotionally repressed,

and narrow-minded.

Just like my heroes.

Strong and masculine and virile.

Hey, buddy, you got any
more of that kiwi tart left?

And can I get a chair?

Oh, my, beautiful.

Oh, you made it yourselves?

It's wonderful but, really, I,

my apartment is so small,
I, really, I, I couldn't.

Nice, though, very nice.

I have a lot of fantasies about
being tied up and spanked.

I suppose it isn't
very liberated, is it?

What kind of fantasies
do feminists have?

Bunny, please go to sleep.

We have to get up early and
look for the piranha women.

What kind of fantasies
do piranha women have?

Eating men, I suppose.

Charbroiled or baked?

Donahue, Alan alda.

Great. I could use a drink.

What is this, hot chocolate?

Jesus h. Christ, men don't
bring other men hot chocolate.

Guys, this is no way to live.

What's killin' me is,
I know that deep inside,

in every last one of you beats the
heart of a virile, macho, manly man.

And I'll be goddamned if I sit idly by
and watch you all waste away your lives

as a bunch of sniveling,
cowardly wimps.

Tonight I'm gonna teach
you all how to be men.

And I know just how to do it.

Been

there.

See what it is to be a man!

Ha, take it.

Do it, come on, I know you want it.

Be a man, do it, beer.

Come on, you're the chief.

Show 'em what you got.

Come on, boys, pass 'em out.

Beefl

beer, beer, beer, beer.

- Beer.
- Beer.

- Beer.
- Beer.

- Beer, beer, beer.
- Beer, beer.

- Beer, beer, beer.
- Beer, bear.

- Beer, beer, beer, beer

all right, boys, keep drinkin'.

There's plenty more
where that came from.

All right, now,

we're gonna have a little pop
quiz here on what we learned.

Pay attention, eyes front.

Now, what's that?

Been - yeah, all right, good.

Here we go.

What's that?

- Penthouse!
- Penthouse, yeah, okay.

What's that?

Key chain.

Right on, good men.

All right, now,

let's take a
little scenario, here.

Let's say you're riding down
the street in your corvette,

you got one hand on
the wheel, palmin' it,

you got one eye out
lookin' for the cops.

You spy out of the
corner of your eye,

walkin' down the street
in some sexy hot pants,

some buxom teen talent.

You know, a dame.

A girl, a broad, a wench, woman.

So what do you do?

No, no, get back, you
don't run and hide.

Get back there.

Jesus Christ.

What do you do?

No, no, you don't offer
them knitted products.

Men don't knit.

You yell out to her.

You yell out, "hey, sexy mama!"

"Hey, love machine,

you wanna go for
a ride in my 'vette?"

So, let's try it, all right?

Okay?

Hey, sexy mama!

Hey, sexy mama!

Hey, love machine!

Hey, love machine!

You wanna go for a ride in my 'vette?

You wanna go
for a ride in my 'vette?

Yeah, that was pretty good, all right.

Go ahead, boys, you earned another swig.

Ah, yeah.

Hey, fellas, take, take five.

Excuse me, hi.

I heard all the noise,
and I couldn't sleep,

so I thought maybe you wanted me
to make you some hot chocolate.

- Chick.
- Broad.

- Sexy mama!
- What?

Hey, baby, you wanna go
for a ride in my 'vette?

I don't know, where's it parked?

Hey, love machine, let's do it dirty.

Love machine?, um, well,

what happened to tuna fish
casseroles and needlepoint?

I mean, all I came out here was
to ask for some hot chocolate,

Dr. Hunt, no, Dr. Hunt!

Let go of bunny.

What are you doing out here?

Look, I'm sorry, all right?
I'm sorry, I mean it, I'm sorry.

It's just that we had a party,
and the boys got a little outta control.

Out of control?

They tried to gang rape bunny.

And I didn't get any hot chocolate.

Gang rape her, huh?

Boy, I didn't know they had it in 'em.

Jerk.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way,

I meant, bunny, you know
what I meant, right?

I guess so.

It's just that, considering
how faggy they were acting,

it was kinda delightful to see them

finally taking a healthy
interest in the opposite sex.

God, a healthy interest
to you means a violent one.

Oh, yeah, like your little piranha
women don't resort to violence.

They only kill, slice up and eat men.

Quite right, and I'm beginning to
think they've got the right idea.

Oh, fudge a duck.
The propeller's stuck again.

There's too much grass in this area.

Look, we're just gonna have to drag
it downstream where it's deeper water.

Drag it?

Yeah, drag it.

You got us into this mess.

Oh, you mean we have
to get in the water?

I didn't even bring any trunks.

Ew, ew, ew!

- What, what, leeches?
- No, catfish.

Catfish, catfish don't bite.

I know, but they swished all around
my ankles, and it feels icky.

I always, I always hated
catfish, even as a kid.

There's no ickier feeling
than catfish swishin' around.

I mean, what if one crawled
up my pants, like

oh, shut up with the catfish.

If you wanna get back in the
boat, get back in the boat.

Margo, methinks thou
doth protest too much.

What's that supposed to mean?

Huh, you're always mad at me,
you're always yellin' at me.

I'm sure a big doctor like you
knows that, underneath that mean,

you're just hidin' your true feelings.

- Which is?
- That you really love me.

I don't love
you, I don't even like you!

Then why is your
voice quivering as you say that?

My voice is not quivering.

Yes, it is, it is.

You can always tell
when a woman's in love,

because her voice
quivers when she speaks.

My voice is not quivering.

- Why are you getting so emotional?
- I'm not emotional.

It's quivering again.

I'm not emotional or quivering.

Margo, are you getting your period?

No, I'm not getting my period,
it's not due for two weeks.

Why am I telling you this?

Because I care, damn it.

Jim, there's a leech on your neck.

Ugh, ew, ew, leech.

Hey, are you
guys having a water fight?

No, we're not havin' a water fight.

That's when I decided to
start my own business.

Everybody said I was crazy,
but takin' orders from others,

that's just not the way
the Jim-man is made.

Hey, margo, have some of this.

It's great, it's a great
dip, it's guacamole.

Of course it's guacamole.

I'm sick of guacamole.

I'm sick of avocados.

I want meat.

Oh, I told you you'd want
a burger king out here.

Or maybe a nice juicy steak,
or some meat loaf, or

quit lookin' at me like that.

Hey.

You wanna eat me, don't you?

I didn't say that.

You were thinkin' it.
I can see that look in your eye.

You, you wanna eat me.

Only for a minute.

Moderate feminist.

You women's libbers are all alike.

A couple of days out here in the jungle,
and you turn into savages.

You throw away all that
rhetoric about equality,

and you get down to
what you really want.

The domination and consumption of men.

I'm sorry.

I'm hot, and I'm tired,

and I lost my head for a moment.

Or maybe you found your true self.

Take a look at her, bunny.

Take a good, hard look.

She wants to eat me.

See for yourself what the women's
movement is really all about.

That's it, you're dead meat!

No no, no no, no no. Bunny!

- No!
- Help!

Hey, honey, chill, chill, really.

Come on, we'll get you some
nice donahue meat, huh?

I'm sure they'd be pleased
to be eaten by you.

Chauvinistic pig.

You don't even look
like a real lead

don't eat him, Dr. Hunt!

Oh my god, I'm losing my mind.

It's this jungle,
I, I'm just losing my mind.

Well, with having your
period and everything.

We've got to go back.

We're going back.

We, we've just gone too deep
into the heart of the jungle.

We're going back.

It's a little too late for that, margo.

I think they found us.

Cute outfits!

Maybe, but they don't
look too friendly to me.

Don't worry.

What do you got, grenade, gun?

No, something all feminist
cultures will understand,

no matter how radical
or how primitive.

My n.O.W. Membership card.

What did she say?

I'm not sure.

It's a strange, difficult language.

Listen, I am looking for Dr. Kurtz.

Do you understand me, Dr. Kurtz.

Yes, Dr. Kurtz, can you take me to her?

Get your stuff.

The secret temple of
the piranha women.

Their architecture is
surprisingly advanced.

It looks like a big lego to me.

This must be the altar room where they...

Eat guys?

Yeah.

Hey, look, a vegetable juice spa.

This must be great for the complexion.

Jim, don't.

Bunny, hand me one of those fritos.

A piranha, the real thing.

This must be where the piranha women

dispose of the fat and bones
of their male sacrifices.

Very good, Dr. Hunt,
that is quite correct.

Francine Kurtz.
Then you are alive.

And she's got one of
those cute outfits on.

I have more than just the outfit, bunny.

The piranha women have christened
me empress of the avocado jungle.

I am their supreme ruler.

Empress?

I knew the avocado board
would send someone after me,

but I never suspected it
would be another feminist.

After I did away with the army

you mean to say you led those
piranha women against the soldiers?

F course.

They violated ourjungle sanctuary.

They had to die.

They were pretty delicious, too.

Dr. Kurtz, I am unfamiliar with the
academic guidelines at Radcliffe,

but I would think any major university
would consider warring on the United States,

and eating prisoners of war,
a serious breach of ethics.

Always the cautious
scholar, huh, Dr. Hunt?

I'm not here to study the piranha women.

I'm here to lead them.

The future of feminism
lies in this temple.

You're saying the future
of women is in cannibalism?

Face up to the truth, this is a war!

A war between men and women.

Anything short of cannibalism
is just beating around the bush.

Well, it's obvious the avocado board

sent the wrong scholar to
deal with the piranha women.

And you're so obviously the right one.

An academic so naive, so trusting,

she actually believes
there's an avocado shortage.

Yes, that's what they told me, too.

But I was suspicious enough to do
a little research into the matter.

The fact of the matter is,

the United States has
a massive avocado glut.

They're dumping avocados by the ton into
Santa Monica harborjust to get rid of them.

But if that's the
case, then why send me?

You're an ethnohistorian.
Use your head.

It's not the avocados the
government is worried about,

it's the piranha women.

The reactionary male factions
are terrified of them.

Terrified of the example

a nation of strong women might
set for the rest of the country.

After they succeeded
in stopping the era,

in the wake of a mainstream
feminist backlash,

they figured it was the perfect time
to wipe out the piranha women for good.

But the reservations in Malibu?

They're there all right.

I did some research into those, too.

Deluxe condominiums.

Pool, sauna, total luxury living.

Only what they didn't tell you about,

were the thousands of
subscriptions to Cosmopolitan

that were timed for delivery when
the piranha women took up residence.

Not to mention the team of
Mary Kay cosmetics saleswomen

who were ready to pounce upon them.

They had a secret plan for doing
away with the piranha women.

Something far more sinister than
armored division of infantry.

Cultural assimilation.

Within five years,

the piranha women would have been
just a bunch of bikini bunnies

bouncing around Malibu,
searching for a good Sushi bar.

I know a great Sushi bar in Malibu.

You go down sunset,
turn right at pch, and...

You see?

They would have all ended up like her.

Now that you're here,
you have only one choice.

To join with us, become a piranha woman.

I can't do that.

Although I'm discouraged,
I can't give up hope

that there will be
equality between the sexes.

I cannot allow you to leave the jungle

and reveal the secrets
of the piranha women.

You eitherjoin us, or
you all die together.

Then kill us, because I'd rather die
than compromise my ethical standards.

Hey, speak for yourself.

I'm sure we could round-table
this whole thing and come up

you, idiot male, will die anyway.

You look a little tough, but I suppose,
if you were marinated before cooking.

Marinated, sweetie, that's carcinogenic.
You don't wanna, bunny!

Help me.

Take Dr. Hunt, also.

You're outnumbered, margo.

There are a thousand piranha
women in this temple.

You haven't got a chance.

You let my friends go,
or I'll shoot you first.

Go ahead, fire on a fellow feminist.

Fire on a fellow anthropologist.

You may not personally
agree with my tactics,

but you know my only goal
is to help the piranha women

maintain their cultural heritage.

Go ahead and shoot.

Shoot her, do it, give
the woman what she wants.

It will take some time
to make the preparations

for your initiation into
the tribe of piranha women.

I will give you until tomorrow
morning to make your decision.

If you agree to join us,

you will sacrifice your first man.

If you do not agree, you will be thrown
into the piranha pit, and you will die.

Painfully.

Take the airhead, too.

- Jim!
- Bunny, don't worry.

You'll save me.

Hi, hey, I hope you know

that crack about shooting
you was just a joke.

That's me, always with a,
nonstop, the whole trip, I'm,

have they told you how great you look
in that dress, because that's, see,

it's feminine, and feminist,
which, which is my cause.

Really, feminism,
I, I thought Geraldine ferraro,

for example, creamed
bush in that debate.

- She...
- You're gonna cook up real good.

Put him with the rest of the men.

Tomorrow, we eat him.

Well, you know,
I've got a subscription to Ms.

I'm gonna be in with
your lunch meat, huh?

Those guys must be bigger
wimps than the donahues.

All right, I'm going, I'm, whoa.

Can I interject one thing?

Now, I'm not sayin' this
just to save my hide,

but talking strictly
nutritional requirements,

if you girls are eating only men,

you cannot possibly be getting everything
you need from the four basic food groups.

Hey, you guys are
pretty big for wimps.

Of course, the joke's on you
when those broads come back

and start pickin' out
ingredients for chicken mcmacho.

Anybody got a smoke?

I brought you some food.

Who are you?

I'm Jean-Pierre, your
sacrifice for tomorrow.

It is traditional in the
tribe of the piranha women

for the sacrifice to serve his
mistress the night before the ceremony.

- But you speak English?
- Some.

I learned it from
listening to Dr. Kurtz.

Well, you must be very smart
to have picked it up so quickly

without any formal training.

Alas, intelligence in males is
not valued by the piranha women.

Only muscle tissue.

Well, you certainly have plenty of that.

They force us to work out with weights.

It makes the meat more flavorful.
Please, eat.

Oh, thank you, I am hungry.

Mm, very good.

I'm glad, he was a friend of mine.

Jacques.

Ah, this stuff is really good.

Chewy but tasty, kinda like lean pork.

Jacques.

Is that one of those
beef substitutes, huh?

Whatever it is, it sure is good.

You work out on a nautilus?

Got any more dip?

I'd like to speak to Jean-Pierre.

Where is Jean-Pierre?

Oh, he's a friend of yours.

Well, don't worry, I won't kill him.

God knows I won't eat him.

There's your sacrifice.

If you wish to become a piranha woman,

you must first take his
body, and then his life.

What is your decision?

I refuse to kill another
human being in cold blood.

However, in deference to
your cultural traditions,

I would be willing to have sex with him.

Forget it.

If you want your cake,
you'll have to eat it.

If you do not use this
dagger to draw his blood,

I will have you thrown
into the piranha pit.

I won'tjoin your tribe,
and I appeal to you

as a member of the national
academy of sciences,

to release me and my friends,
and allow us to go on our way.

No, I want to be a piranha woman.

Bunny, what are you saying?

I wanna be a piranha woman.

Bunny, damn it, I knew I
shouldn't have brought you.

You haven't had enough
women's studies core classes.

You're being seduced by the simplicity
of the piranha women's philosophy.

No, I haven't, I just want
one of those cute outfits.

Bunny, listen to me.

Silence her.

Are you sure you want to
become a piranha woman?

Are you willing to partake in
the blood sacrifice initiation?

Well, if you mean to have sex with a guy
and then kill him, sure, I'll try it.

I've done weirder things
at frat parties.

Then I will allow you to
become a piranha woman,

on one condition.

He shall be your sacrifice.

Well, now you've gone
too far, Dr. Kurtz.

I happen to be a pretty
good judge of human nature,

and as far as our bunny goes, well, the
poor kid happens to be nuts about me.

She would never
- sure, I'll kill him.

Prepare them both for sacrifice.

Toodles.

- What?
- Just do it.

- The sacrifice has escaped!
- Kill him!

Quick, this way.

Stop them, kill them!

- Oh, my...
- Jump, I can fight them off from here.

Oh, no, you're coming with me.

No, it's more important
that you escape.

Jean-Pierre, will you
stop being a sacrifice?

Now, come with me.

Jean-Pierre, Jean-Pierre, Jean-Pierre.

Damn it, the first decent guy I...

So, this is why piranha
women have red hair, huh, huh?

Gee, I hope this dye isn't
going to make my hair frizz.

Do you have any conditioner for that?

You know, actually, I was thinking,

maybe we could go a little shorter this
time in the cut if that's okay with you.

Or maybe, if we keep it red,

I should just keep it long,
because then I'll look like Tiffany,

and actually I was thinking
about taking up singing, so.

Hey, have I told you
girls how terrific you look?

Great loins.

Hey, what are you doin'?

Hey, wait, what? What?, whoa whoa,
can I say one thing, one thing.

I'd rather have you kill
me than make me a gelding.

We had a dog once that we fixed,
and he was just never happy.

Hey, can't we be
reasonable about this?

I mean, we're all people
here, piranhas, non-piranhas,

hey, what's this?

A little hot tub action, huh?

Maybe I misjudged you girls.

I think I might actually
like this place.

Oh, yeah, that's nice.

Hey, you know, you're not such
bad young ladies after all.

Probably just had rough
childhoods, right?

Smoked a lot of pot in high school,
parents were divorced, that kinda thing?

Yeah, oh yeah. Oh, that's good.

A little lower, little lower.

That's the spot, now make circles.

Just kidding.

Wait, so I see at least
a couple of you girls

know how to treat a man
around this crazy temple.

You know, a lot of you piranha gals, you
probably just never met the right guy.

And I bet you you're terrific cooks.

Something around here smells fabulous.

It's this bath water.

This, this would make a
hearty soup base, wouldn't it?

Hey, what's up, doc?

What goes,

hey, what, oh my god,
you're marinating me!

Hey, lemme out.

We are the barracuda women.

We are the sworn enemies
of the piranha women.

If you are escaping from
them, you must be our friend.

Thousands of years ago,

the piranha women and the
barracuda women were as one.

But we split over
ideological differences.

What were they?

The piranha women believe

that men should be slaughtered
and eaten with guacamole dip.

And you think that's wrong?

Yes!

We believe they should
be eaten with clam dip.

That's it, clam dip?

It's a fundamental principle.

You people have been divided

for thousands of years
because of a kind of dip?

Oh, that really makes me mad.

Why is it women always argue
over such petty differences?

It's no wonder we couldn't
get the era passed.

Men can always seem to
agree on football and beer.

Well, that's it.

We are going back to the
piranha women's temple.

The women of this jungle must unite.

And I'm going to settle a score with
a certain renegade ethnographer.

I think I'm gonna like
being a piranha woman.

What you do, is you
set up a joint committee

consisting of equal numbers of
piranha women and barracuda women.

You meet biweekly, air any differences that
might arise, and it's really that simple.

So, what we'll do,
is we'll organize a.

Onward, women!

Come on, move it!

Kurtz's field notes.

It's an outline for a book!

Okay, let's see.

So, she's gonna make love
to me, that's, that's good.

Then she's gonna kill me and eat me.

That's bad.

Why can't I ever have
a completely good day?

Here, bunny.

Drink of the elixir
of the piranha women.

Let the sacrifice begin.

Bunny, please,

put away that knife, you
don't know what you're doin'.

This whole crazy jungle's
got you all mixed up.

I know what I'm doing.

I wanna become a piranha woman.

Oh, my god, your eyes,

that strange elixir of the piranha women
has changed the color of your eyes!

No, it hasn't, green contacts, stupid.

Now, shut up while I sacrifice you.

I'm sorry I have to kill you.

I really did think
you were kind of cute.

Bunny, please don't kill me.

I have to.

But what did margo say?

Oh yeah, the song.

Uh-huh, bolero.

Kill him now.

Kill him!

I can't.

I can't, I love him.

Throw them both in the piranha pit.

Yeah, but that water is
really gonna stain this outfit.

According to the traditions
of the piranha women,

I challenge the empress
of the avocado jungle

to a battle for the right to the throne.

That is your right, but I warn you,
margo, you haven't got a chance.

We'll see.

You handle yourself fairly well.

I studied ancient weaponry at Berkeley.

Professor Harris?

No, professor Johnson.

Really, I had professor
Johnson at Stanford.

Enough preliminaries.

Why don't you tell the piranha women
the real reason you became their leader?

What are you talking about?

I found your study.

I read your notes.

The outline for your book?

You don't care about the piranha women.

You just wanna write a book
about your experiences.

That's not true.

My life as a piranha woman
by Francine Kurtz, catchy.

It should make the best-seller list.

The media hype from your
last book was fading.

You needed something new to get
back on the talk-show circuit.

Isn't that right?

Well, what better than an expose
on the piranha women's lives?

- Think margo will win?
- Yeah.

Do you have any of those
red licorice ropes?

Sure, in my backpack, why?

We'll discuss it later.

You were going to exploit their culture and
traditions for a cheap paperback potboiler.

A kiss, sacrifice, and tell book.

All right, anybody want
to get action on margo?

The point spread is
three against Dr. Kurtz.

Huh, anybody in on this?

- Shh.
- Chicks.

It's true, I was planning a book,

but it was going to be a scholarly work.

Hardly, Kurtz!

You've spent too much
time in the jungle.

You've become a primitive yourself.

I read your notes.

Your field methodology is sloppy,
your conclusion's shaky,

even sher height couldn't get away with the
generalizations you make in your outline.

You're no better than the
chauvinist who sent us here.

You'd exploit the piranha women
for your own aggrandizement.

You don't understand, I had

- Francine, the pool. Watch it.
- Stay back!

You don't understand.

I'd been on the talk-show
circuit for six months.

The token feminist.

The butt of every bra-burning joke.

You don't know what it's like
trying to face David letterman

with a book on male insensitivity.

I needed something more.

I thought, "piranha women, cannibalism."

Who could laugh at me then?

Oh, Francine - stay back!

You're right.

I was exploiting the piranha women.

You don't know what it was like.

David letterman.

God, the horror,

horror of that show.

The horror

Francine.

You're very wise, Dr. Hunt.

Now all the women of the
jungle shall be united.

Well, now that you are united,

you may want to reconsider your
relationships with the men in your tribe.

There are other ways of relating
to them besides as foodstuffs.

We shall consider what you have said,

and discuss it at our
biweekly committee meetings.

Farewell.

May you make it safely home.

- Goodbye!

Yeah, keep in touch.

Okay, here you go.

Where's my gun?

Oh, the gun, um,

hey, lemme carry the gun.

Just to the edge of the jungle.

Come on, I mean, you drove and
everything. Let me carry the gun.

You know, all the
piranhachicks are watching.

I should carry the gun.

Hey, it's not loaded, is it?

After the medical checkup
with the valium prescriptions,

there will be tea with Nancy Reagan.

Day two, we will start out with a seminar
by Fawn hall on office relations.

I love it.

Then, then comes the
political orientation.

Yeah, we got Billy shlafly on standby.

Hopefully, it won't be long before
miss hunt rounds these girls up.

Ford, I got to hand it to you.

Using a feminist to dupe
a bunch of feminists.

Well, women aren't that smart.

Women.

Hey, how's your wife?

It's over.

How long have you been standing there?

You didn't hear
- anything I didn't already know.

Francine told me all about
your dirty little plan.

Kurtz, then you found her?

David letterman keeps calling,
but we don't know what to tell him.

I'm afraid Dr. Kurtz won't
be doing any more talk shows.

- She's dead.
- Dead, how?

She died trying to protect

the cultural heritage
of a primitive society.

Not so fast, professor.

We're not finished with you yet.

Your, your university...

Nothing's going to
happen to my university.

Except that the defense department
will provide a generous Grant

to feminist studies for research

on expanding women's
opportunities in the military.

You are mad!

Otherwise, I go on the
David letterman show myself

and tell him about the marines,

and the millions of dollars of
equipment lost in the avocado jungle.

Not to mention the diversion of
funds to pay for Malibu condos

and subscriptions to Cosmopolitan.

I can just imagine the sarcastic
look on David's face when he

you wouldn't.

Don't tempt me.

Women.

Dr. Hunt, I've got to talk to you.

Bunny, what's going on?

I'm getting married to Jim in
ten minutes, but I don't know.

Do you think I'm doing the right thing?

Well
- I mean, which would be better?

Getting married, being a housewife,
and having a bunch of kids,

and getting old and fat, or,

or finish school and become
the first woman president?

Well, bunny, that's a
strictly personal decision.

Well, I'd rather just be a housewife,

but I just don't want to disappoint you
after all you've taught me about

bunny, bunny, you don't have
to live your life to please me.

The important thing
is that you're happy.

And, as for what I've
taught you, well.

Listen, I've always believed that every
woman should get as much education

and intellectual
stimulation as possible.

And that she should develop her mental
abilities to their utmost potential.

But, in your case, well,
there's just no point.

Really, then I should marry him.

If that's what you want, yes.

I take it we have your blessing?

- Don't push it.
- Thank you.

Then I will marry Jim.

But I just feel so sorry for you.

I'm going to be leaving
you here all alone,

and you're gonna be losing
one of your best students.

- Oh, who?
- Me!

Oh, well, don't worry, bunny.

There'll be other students.

Well, this is it, miss hunt.

Bye, I'll call you, collect.

Bye, thanks for everything!

Bye.

Oh, Jean-Pierre good to see you.

Did you get all the classes you wanted?

Yes, I got all the
courses you told me to take.

Introduction to feminism,

understanding human relationships,
and the sensitive male.

Thank you so much for
helping me, Dr. Hunt.

Oh, my pleasure.

Call me margo.