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1
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♪ From Mayfair to Park Lane
You will hear this same refrain
2
00:00:09,680 --> 00:00:12,478
♪ In every house again, again ♪
3
00:00:12,840 --> 00:00:15,195
You rang, m'lord?
4
00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:20,274
♪ Stepping out on the town
The social whirl goes round and round
5
00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:23,318
♪ The rich are up, the poor are down ♪
6
00:00:23,840 --> 00:00:25,956
You rang, m'lord?
7
00:00:26,040 --> 00:00:30,591
♪ The Bunny Hug at the Shim Sham Club
The Charleston at The Ritz
8
00:00:31,440 --> 00:00:36,878
#And at the Troc do the Turkey Trot
They give Aunt Maude a thousand fits
9
00:00:38,320 --> 00:00:43,678
♪ Saucy flappers in cloche hats
Natty chappies in white spats
10
00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:46,479
♪ The upper set is going bats ♪
11
00:00:47,120 --> 00:00:48,951
You rang, m'lord?
12
00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:14,590
- Hello, Dad.
- Stop calling me Dad.
13
00:01:14,680 --> 00:01:15,715
Sorry.
14
00:01:16,520 --> 00:01:18,909
- Can I have a morning kiss?
- Hurry up, then.
15
00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:21,954
- Everything all right, love?
- No, it isn't.
16
00:01:24,520 --> 00:01:28,229
I've had a terrible night and I'm
not putting up with another one like it.
17
00:01:28,320 --> 00:01:30,276
You got a lumpy bed?
18
00:01:30,360 --> 00:01:32,510
No. It's Mr Teddy.
19
00:01:32,600 --> 00:01:34,670
He keeps trying to get into me room.
20
00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:37,960
Didn't you put the chair against your door
like I told you?
21
00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:41,510
Yes, but I don't feel secure.
You've got to put a bolt on it.
22
00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:44,068
(Chuckling) Bolts cost money.
23
00:01:44,560 --> 00:01:47,393
Dad, your daughter's honour is above price.
24
00:01:47,480 --> 00:01:51,393
He's not after your honour, Ivy.
He's just trying to steal a kiss.
25
00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:53,311
He's trying to steal more than that.
26
00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:57,871
He caught me in the hall yesterday and said
he loved me because I smelt of carbolic soap.
27
00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:00,831
Change to Wright's Coal Tar.
28
00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:03,438
Dad, I'm serious.
29
00:02:03,520 --> 00:02:06,398
All right, I'll get a bolt
and put it on your door.
30
00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:09,278
Now hurry along and get on with your work
or Jim will be after you.
31
00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:13,037
Sometimes I think he suspects
that I haven't been in service before.
32
00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:15,429
Don't you worry. I'll fix Jim Twelvetrees.
33
00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:18,235
- He's ever so strict, isn't he?
- Yeah.
34
00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:19,912
But I quite like him.
35
00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:21,228
You what?
36
00:02:21,320 --> 00:02:24,551
- Well, I know where I am with him.
- Oh, I see.
37
00:02:25,280 --> 00:02:26,838
Mrs Lipton's nice, isn't she?
38
00:02:27,880 --> 00:02:28,915
Yeah.
39
00:02:29,640 --> 00:02:31,915
- She likes you.
- Does she?
40
00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:33,638
And you like her.
41
00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:37,110
- You're much nicer to her than you
are to Mum. - That'll do.
42
00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:38,872
Now take that tray downstairs.
43
00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:40,788
Yes, Dad.
44
00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:47,592
Devilled kidneys, James.
45
00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:49,758
Thank you, Mrs Lipton.
46
00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:54,230
Devilled kidneys coming up, Mr Stokes.
47
00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:56,998
The hot plate's flickering.
48
00:02:57,080 --> 00:02:59,719
You haven't forgotten to put the
spirit in again, have you, James?
49
00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:03,156
It's not my place to put spirit in
the hot plate. Henry attends to that.
50
00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:06,038
But it's your job to see that he does it.
51
00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:09,946
Henry, the burner in the hot plate is flickering.
Did you remember to put in the methylated spirit?
52
00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:13,111
There was none left.
I think Mrs Lipton's been drinking it.
53
00:03:13,640 --> 00:03:14,834
How dare you.
54
00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:17,433
I was only joking.
55
00:03:17,520 --> 00:03:20,432
Well, don't joke at 8:55 in the morning.
56
00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:25,274
If there was no methylated spirit left,
you should have said.
57
00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:28,830
- Now come and pull up the devilled kidneys.
- I'm ironing the newspapers.
58
00:03:28,920 --> 00:03:30,911
Do as you're told, Henry.
59
00:03:32,160 --> 00:03:33,798
Yes, Mr Twelvetrees.
60
00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:37,114
Devilled kidneys coming up, Mr Stokes.
61
00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:45,112
Miss Poppy's got a headache.
62
00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:47,589
She hasn't eaten her Osbornes.
Can I have them?
63
00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:50,990
Certainly not. Domestic staff
do not nibble biscuits whilst on duty.
64
00:03:51,080 --> 00:03:52,832
Put them back in the tin.
65
00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:57,118
Henry, you've left the iron on
the Daily Mail. It's scorching.
66
00:03:59,520 --> 00:04:02,353
Oh, look. Teddy Tail's got brown trousers.
67
00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:07,388
Henry, go out and buy another Daily Mail and
I shall stop the penny out of your wages.
68
00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:10,515
Here's a couple of Osbornes
to nibble on the way.
69
00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:12,158
Thanks, Ivy.
70
00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:15,837
I want you back here in five minutes.
71
00:04:16,520 --> 00:04:21,435
Sometimes I feel it would be better if I
didn't wake up in the morning ever again.
72
00:04:22,840 --> 00:04:24,273
You just try it.
73
00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:30,509
Oh! That boy is nothing but trouble.
74
00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:32,352
He's very willing, though.
75
00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:34,158
I shouldn't be too hard on him.
76
00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:35,514
He needs proper training.
77
00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:39,115
When I was his age, if I didn't do as I
was told, my father took his belt to me.
78
00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:42,192
That's what made you what you are today,
Mr Twelvetrees.
79
00:04:42,280 --> 00:04:43,918
It did indeed, Mrs Lipton.
80
00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:47,394
You can take Lady Lavender's
breakfast tray up now, Ivy.
81
00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:49,232
Is she having one of her mornings?
82
00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:52,357
She usually does
after she's had one of her nights.
83
00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:54,317
And take a handful of monkey nuts.
84
00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:57,278
- Shall I shell them for her?
- No, they're for the parrot.
85
00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:05,351
- Mr Twelvetrees.
- Yes, Ivy.
86
00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:08,318
Why does Henry have to iron the newspapers?
87
00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:12,393
Because, Ivy, His Lordship does not wish
to read a crinkly Times.
88
00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:31,676
9:02, Stokes.
89
00:05:31,760 --> 00:05:33,637
I'm terribly sorry, sir.
90
00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:36,634
Evidently my watch needs regulating.
91
00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:42,634
- Are you going to the City today, sir?
- I doubt it. I've been in once this week.
92
00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:44,392
- Are you at home, sir?
- Yes.
93
00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:47,471
Except to Sir Ralph.
94
00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:50,393
- Lady Agatha's husband, sir.
- Lady Agatha's husband.
95
00:05:50,840 --> 00:05:52,876
I don't want to see him
under any circumstances.
96
00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:55,076
I quite understand you, sir.
97
00:05:57,160 --> 00:05:58,559
Oh, am I the first one down?
98
00:05:58,640 --> 00:06:01,108
Yes, sir. Lady Lavender is
having breakfast in her room.
99
00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:02,633
Oh, is she?
100
00:06:02,720 --> 00:06:03,835
Thank you.
101
00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:05,234
His Lordship's Times.
102
00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:07,197
Thank you, James. Your Times, sir.
103
00:06:07,280 --> 00:06:08,793
Thank you.
104
00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:10,996
- A little a porridge, sir?
- Thank you.
105
00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:15,518
Smell of scorching.
106
00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:20,033
- Good morning, George.
- Good morning, Teddy.
107
00:06:20,120 --> 00:06:21,678
Where's my Daily Mail?
108
00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:24,274
It wasn't delivered, sir.
I've sent Henry out for another one.
109
00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:27,352
Oh, good. I don't want to miss
the adventures of Teddy Tail.
110
00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:35,629
PARROT: Come in.
111
00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:39,508
If you don't mind, I'll give
the orders around here.
112
00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:40,635
Come in.
113
00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:50,755
- Who are you?
- Ivy the maid.
114
00:06:50,840 --> 00:06:52,717
No, you're not. You're Ethel.
115
00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:55,635
Where have I seen you before?
116
00:06:55,720 --> 00:06:57,676
I brought up your morning tea.
117
00:06:57,760 --> 00:07:00,320
I thought I recognised you.
118
00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:04,309
Oh, monkey nuts, my favourite.
119
00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:07,071
Why haven't you taken the shells off?
120
00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:08,994
They're for your parrot.
121
00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:13,349
Well, he's not having them.
He gets quite enough already.
122
00:07:13,440 --> 00:07:16,238
I'm giving him a rubber
plantation in Malaya.
123
00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:18,678
Do parrots like rubber?
124
00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:24,150
Not the actual plantation, you silly girl.
The share certificates.
125
00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:27,910
I expect she'll make a nice nest of those
and lay some eggs.
126
00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:30,670
I shouldn't think so. He's a cock.
127
00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:33,798
Pretty Polly. Pretty Polly.
128
00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:36,713
Oh, he's always talking about his fiancee.
129
00:07:36,840 --> 00:07:38,398
Come and sit on my bed.
130
00:07:42,280 --> 00:07:46,239
I'm very generous, you know.
I give lots of things away.
131
00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:50,871
- Is there anything in this room you'd like?
- Oh, not just now, thanks.
132
00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:53,914
- Do you like this bed?
- Very nice.
133
00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:56,272
You can have it.
134
00:07:57,440 --> 00:07:59,112
Oh, I couldn't get it in my room.
135
00:07:59,760 --> 00:08:03,912
What you need is a bigger room.
That's the solution to your problem.
136
00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:05,718
Now, give me my handbag.
137
00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:09,349
- I don't want any money.
- I wasn't going to give you any.
138
00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:13,399
I want you to ring my solicitor
and tell him to come round and see me
139
00:08:13,480 --> 00:08:15,311
at 12:00 this morning.
140
00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:20,835
Ask him to use the tradesmen's entrance
and bring him up the back stairs.
141
00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:25,119
- Why up the back stairs?
- Because I don't want George to know.
142
00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:26,719
Oh, you mean, His Lordship.
143
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:32,314
Yes. He married my daughter.
I always said she married beneath her.
144
00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:34,719
But he's a Lordship.
145
00:08:34,800 --> 00:08:38,315
- They made their money in trade.
- What sort of trade?
146
00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:40,118
Slave trade.
147
00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:44,235
Brought boatloads of them from Africa
and swapped them for sugar.
148
00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:47,191
Oh, how awful.
149
00:08:48,240 --> 00:08:50,595
Yes, it's very bad for your teeth,
you know.
150
00:08:52,920 --> 00:08:54,069
Now...
151
00:08:54,560 --> 00:08:57,597
don't forget the solicitor.
That's his number.
152
00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:01,912
- Oh, would you like some money?
- No, thank you.
153
00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:06,835
- Oh, well, would you like this handbag?
- No, I don't want you to give me anything.
154
00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:10,870
- Will that be all?
- Yes, thank you.
155
00:09:12,560 --> 00:09:13,709
Ethel.
156
00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:15,548
Yes, m'lady?
157
00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:18,234
There's something I insist upon giving you.
158
00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:19,355
What?
159
00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:21,271
Scrambled eggs.
160
00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:29,918
That fellow Mussolini
is doing a damn good job in Italy.
161
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:32,150
He's actually getting
the trains to run on time.
162
00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:34,037
But he's a dreadful fascist, Daddy.
163
00:09:34,120 --> 00:09:37,795
The first thing he did when he came into power
was to throw all the homosexuals into prison.
164
00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:40,714
Cissy, please. Not at the breakfast table.
165
00:09:41,560 --> 00:09:44,233
Better not let him loose
in the House of Lords, eh?
166
00:09:44,920 --> 00:09:46,035
Teddy.
167
00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:50,308
- The man is a ruthless dictator, Daddy.
- Yes, but he gets things done.
168
00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:52,630
We could do with some of his medicine
in our government.
169
00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:55,712
Well, who do you want as a dictator?
Ramsay MacDonald?
170
00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:57,711
I don't mean a socialist.
171
00:09:57,800 --> 00:10:01,076
Daddy would want a public school dictator.
Someone from Eton.
172
00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:03,794
Well, at least he'd know
which homosexuals to arrest.
173
00:10:04,280 --> 00:10:05,429
Teddy.
174
00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:07,916
- Morning, Daddy.
- Morning.
175
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:09,797
- Morning, family.
- TEDDY: Morning.
176
00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:12,520
- Morning, James.
- Morning, Miss Poppy.
177
00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:16,388
You really must try to get down to breakfast
on time, Poppy. It's not fair on the servants.
178
00:10:16,480 --> 00:10:19,358
- I only want some coffee.
- I'll bring you a fresh pot, Miss Poppy.
179
00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:22,273
James, be a dear and get that big
brown trunk down from the box room
180
00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:24,271
and bring it to my bedroom after breakfast.
181
00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:26,635
I'm chucking out a lot of clothes
to give to the poor.
182
00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:28,597
- Yes, Miss Poppy.
- And knock loudly.
183
00:10:28,680 --> 00:10:30,580
You don't want to catch me
in my birthday suit.
184
00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:32,713
Of course not, miss.
185
00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:39,590
I wish you wouldn't say things like that
to James. It's very embarrassing for him.
186
00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:42,513
He loves it, Daddy.
I adore seeing him blush.
187
00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:46,434
Well, it's not right. I wish you
two girls would dress for breakfast.
188
00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:49,273
I can't have you floating about
the house in your linen.
189
00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:52,318
It's all your fault, Teddy.
You're such a lounge lizard.
190
00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:55,237
You should set an example.
191
00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:59,074
And while we're on the subject of conduct,
I heard you come in at 3:00 this morning.
192
00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:02,357
That's the second time this week. You
really are going the pace a bit too much.
193
00:11:02,440 --> 00:11:06,274
Oh, don't be so stuffy, Daddy.
Life's for living, that's what Jerry says.
194
00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:09,909
How can you carry on with Jerry?
He's an absolute wet lettuce.
195
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:12,673
He's jolly clever. He can do card tricks.
196
00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:15,479
He can drink a glass of water
standing on his head.
197
00:11:15,560 --> 00:11:18,393
- And he's invented a new cocktail.
- What's in it?
198
00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:23,315
I don't know, but it's called The Guillotine.
Jerry says it knocks your head off.
199
00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:26,066
- Where's Grandma?
- Oh, she's having breakfast in bed this morning.
200
00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:27,718
She had dinner in bed last night.
201
00:11:27,800 --> 00:11:29,518
I think she's getting battier every day.
202
00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:32,910
I went into the conservatory yesterday
and she was talking to the parrot.
203
00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:37,278
Who else has she got to talk to?
Nobody sits with her or keeps her company.
204
00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:40,477
Anyhow, I think she's lovely.
She gave me this ring the other day.
205
00:11:40,560 --> 00:11:42,946
Oh, you shouldn't have taken that.
That's her engagement ring.
206
00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:45,793
If anyone should have that ring,
it should be me. I'm the eldest.
207
00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:47,946
You've already got Mummy's
and you never even wear it.
208
00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:49,678
Well, I'm having it turned into a tiepin.
209
00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:51,239
Oh, really.
210
00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:54,073
I thought I saw your friend Penelope
wearing it the other day.
211
00:11:54,160 --> 00:11:57,630
- Mind your own business.
- Now, girls, please.
212
00:11:57,920 --> 00:12:01,310
It's a bit worrying,
old Lavvy giving things away all the time.
213
00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:03,868
I wish you wouldn't call her Lavvy.
214
00:12:05,360 --> 00:12:07,715
Anyhow, she gave my best overcoat
to the gardener.
215
00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:09,677
- What, that terrible check thing?
- Yes.
216
00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:11,558
Damn good job, too.
217
00:12:11,840 --> 00:12:14,877
Does this sort of potty behaviour
run in the family, Daddy?
218
00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:16,871
Well, certainly not on my side.
219
00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:19,746
At least she's stopped creeping round
the corridors in the early hours.
220
00:12:19,760 --> 00:12:22,228
- Oh, no, she hasn't. She was at it last night.
- Doing what?
221
00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:24,426
- Creeping along the corridors.
- And how do you know?
222
00:12:24,440 --> 00:12:26,874
Well, I had to go to the bathroom.
223
00:12:27,640 --> 00:12:28,789
Oh, yes.
224
00:12:28,880 --> 00:12:32,793
What'd you mean, oh, yes? I'm entitled
to go to the bathroom if I want to.
225
00:12:32,880 --> 00:12:35,110
Haven't you got a chamber pot in your room?
226
00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:40,274
If that's going to be the level
of the conversation, I'm leaving.
227
00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:43,195
I'll have a nice chat to the parrot.
228
00:12:45,240 --> 00:12:48,391
Perhaps potty behaviour
does run in the family.
229
00:12:52,240 --> 00:12:55,198
- Hurry up. They've finished breakfast.
- What's the time, Dad?
230
00:12:56,520 --> 00:12:57,589
9:30.
231
00:12:57,680 --> 00:12:59,910
I've got to go and ring
Lady Lavender's solicitor.
232
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:02,594
Well, use the phone downstairs
in the servants' hall.
233
00:13:02,680 --> 00:13:05,592
And I mustn't forget.
Miss Cissy wants me to pop up to her room.
234
00:13:05,680 --> 00:13:07,193
- What for?
- I don't know.
235
00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:09,477
Well, don't stop too long.
236
00:13:12,680 --> 00:13:16,070
Why does everybody keep telling me
not to stop too long in Cissy's room?
237
00:13:16,160 --> 00:13:17,593
She's ever so nice.
238
00:13:17,680 --> 00:13:20,240
Never you mind. Just do
as you're told, Ivy.
239
00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:26,915
Ivy.
240
00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:29,511
- Yes, sir.
- I want to speak to you.
241
00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:32,876
- Yes, sir.
- Ivy, you're driving me crazy.
242
00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:35,269
Am I?
243
00:13:35,360 --> 00:13:38,636
Every time I see you, my heart goes
humpity, humpity, humpity, hump.
244
00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:43,749
- Does it?
- It's doing it now.
245
00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:47,073
- Is it?
- Yes, feel it. Why don't you feel it?
246
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:48,991
I'd rather not, if you don't mind.
247
00:13:49,080 --> 00:13:51,799
How can you understand how I feel
if you don't feel it?
248
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:53,228
Get off.
249
00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:59,231
- You all right, Teddy?
- No, my heart's beating rather fast.
250
00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:01,276
I thought you were off
to talk to the parrot.
251
00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:02,873
I'm just going now.
252
00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:04,439
Give him my regards.
253
00:14:09,360 --> 00:14:10,475
Oh!
254
00:14:10,560 --> 00:14:12,790
I brought the cellar book
for your inspection, sir.
255
00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:14,791
We're getting rather low on the '93 port.
256
00:14:14,880 --> 00:14:17,872
Oh, right. I'll get them to send
a couple of cases up from Meldrum Hall.
257
00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:21,236
- Yes, sir. We don't want to go short, sir.
- Yes.
258
00:14:21,720 --> 00:14:25,508
Well, Stokes, you've been with us nearly
two weeks now. You getting on all right?
259
00:14:25,760 --> 00:14:27,034
Yes, thank you, sir.
260
00:14:27,120 --> 00:14:29,395
And how are you getting on
with the rest of the staff?
261
00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:31,550
Of course, you were in the war
with Twelvetrees.
262
00:14:31,640 --> 00:14:34,677
Both of you helped save my brother's life,
or was it the other way about?
263
00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:37,356
It was a very confusing time, sir.
264
00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:42,796
Then there's Mrs Lipton, of course. What
a nice, comfortable, pillowy woman she is.
265
00:14:42,880 --> 00:14:44,518
Very comfortable, sir.
266
00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:46,079
How's Ivy getting on?
267
00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:49,197
If the truth be told, sir,
she's a little distressed.
268
00:14:49,280 --> 00:14:52,477
- Oh, really?
- I'm afraid to say she is, sir.
269
00:14:52,560 --> 00:14:55,472
Her door handle keeps going up and down
in the dead of night.
270
00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:59,309
- What do you think is the cause of that?
- Someone trying to enter the room.
271
00:14:59,680 --> 00:15:01,193
The Honourable Teddy?
272
00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:03,919
- It would appear so, sir.
- But he didn't get in, did he?
273
00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:05,599
No, sir.
274
00:15:05,680 --> 00:15:10,071
You know, I thought if we got a plain maid,
we wouldn't have any more trouble.
275
00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:13,118
Even her best friends
wouldn't call her pretty.
276
00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:18,390
- She doesn't use carbolic soap, does she?
- I've asked her to change to Wright's Coal Tar, sir.
277
00:15:18,680 --> 00:15:21,069
Yes, a sensible precaution.
278
00:15:21,160 --> 00:15:25,278
What is it that attracts my brother
to these servant girls?
279
00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:29,154
- Even the plain ones.
- There's no accounting for taste, sir.
280
00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:32,432
I, myself, was once very taken
with a lady lion-tamer.
281
00:15:32,520 --> 00:15:33,589
Was she plain?
282
00:15:34,160 --> 00:15:35,798
She frightened the lions.
283
00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:38,957
I'm afraid it's all beyond me, Stokes.
284
00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:40,913
It's beyond me, too, sir.
285
00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:44,034
Only one thing for it.
We'll have to get him looked at.
286
00:15:44,720 --> 00:15:46,950
Yes, sir. Will there be
anything further, sir?
287
00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:49,235
- Well, no, I don't think so.
- M'lord.
288
00:15:49,560 --> 00:15:52,074
Oh, Stokes, by the way, just one thing.
289
00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:55,709
That lady lion-tamer,
she didn't use carbolic soap, did she?
290
00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:58,872
I wasn't too familiar
with her washing arrangements, sir.
291
00:15:58,960 --> 00:16:01,599
But she used a lot of
Jay's fluid on the lions.
292
00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:05,753
(Knocking on door)
293
00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:07,114
Come in.
294
00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:09,917
Did you ring the bell, Miss Cissy?
295
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:13,276
Oh, yes. Could you rinse
these things through for me?
296
00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:15,352
When do you want them?
297
00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:17,874
Oh, there's no hurry.
I've got stacks more in the drawers.
298
00:16:19,640 --> 00:16:22,234
Oh, they're lovely and soft.
299
00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:25,399
I've never felt anything like it before.
300
00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:28,269
Fancy going to sleep in these.
301
00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:29,709
It's silk satin.
302
00:16:30,440 --> 00:16:33,876
They're ever so slithery.
I wonder you don't slip out of bed.
303
00:16:34,280 --> 00:16:36,475
I'm always very careful about that.
304
00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:42,358
Well, actually, I've got a lot of things
I don't use. You can have some if you like.
305
00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:46,311
Oh, you're a lovely family. So generous.
306
00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:49,309
Lady Lavender wanted to give me her bed.
307
00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:51,272
You'll get used to us.
308
00:16:51,360 --> 00:16:53,157
Now...
309
00:16:53,240 --> 00:16:54,798
how do I look?
310
00:16:57,160 --> 00:16:58,309
Like a boy.
311
00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:01,158
A nice boy.
312
00:17:01,240 --> 00:17:02,719
I mean, a very pretty boy.
313
00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:05,068
Thank you, Ivy.
314
00:17:07,240 --> 00:17:10,357
- Are you going to play cricket?
- Oh, no, tennis.
315
00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:12,908
Oh, be a darling. Tie
up my shoes, will you?
316
00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:17,633
Oh, don't be nervous. I won't bite you.
317
00:17:25,320 --> 00:17:28,357
- I'm not very good at bows.
- You're doing fine.
318
00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:33,198
Do you know, Ivy...
319
00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:36,757
you're really quite pretty.
320
00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:38,319
Am I?
321
00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:41,870
But you are a bit pale.
You should make more of yourself.
322
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:45,191
- Look. Sit at my dressing table.
- Am I allowed?
323
00:17:45,280 --> 00:17:46,952
Don't be silly. Sit down.
324
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:52,070
Now, turn around.
325
00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:58,754
You should get out in
the open air more often.
326
00:17:58,840 --> 00:18:02,310
I only get one afternoon off a fortnight
and I've only been here for three days
327
00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:04,391
so I've got 10 days to go.
328
00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:07,278
When I do get me afternoon off,
I'm going to the pictures.
329
00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:10,915
Now, let me do your lips.
330
00:18:12,720 --> 00:18:15,518
- Who's your favourite film star?
- Rin Tin Tin.
331
00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:18,436
I can't give you lips like him.
332
00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:22,594
- How about Anna May Wong?
- All right.
333
00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:29,357
Ivy, you are not going to play the trumpet.
Relax your lips.
334
00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:36,230
- Keep still.
- I can't. You're tickling me.
335
00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:41,914
There. Now, have a look in the mirror.
336
00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:46,038
Take off your glasses.
337
00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:49,873
- Is that better?
- I don't know. I can't see.
338
00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:52,352
It's looking top-hole.
339
00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:55,352
That will have to do for today.
I shall be late for Hurlingham.
340
00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:59,877
Oh, will that be all?
Only I'm seeing a solicitor at 12:00.
341
00:18:59,960 --> 00:19:01,359
Yes, you buzz off.
342
00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:06,834
Oh, thanks for the lips, Miss Cissy.
343
00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:16,549
(Knocking on door)
344
00:19:16,640 --> 00:19:17,993
Come in.
345
00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:22,317
Over there, please, James.
346
00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:24,210
I do hope you haven't hurt yourself
347
00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:26,600
carrying that great big heavy thing down
from the box room.
348
00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:28,437
It wasn't all that heavy, Miss Poppy.
349
00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:30,795
Not for you, perhaps,
because you're so strong.
350
00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:32,677
Your muscles must be like iron.
351
00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:35,196
Not like they were when
I was in the army, miss.
352
00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:37,589
Nonsense. They're positively bulging.
353
00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:41,430
It makes shivers go right down my spine.
354
00:19:41,520 --> 00:19:44,910
- Well, I'm sorry, Miss Poppy.
- Oh, that's all right. It's not your fault.
355
00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:47,753
Strong men always make me go wibbly-wobbly.
356
00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:51,269
What makes you go wibbly-wobbly, James?
357
00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:57,470
Well, nothing comes to mind at the moment,
Miss Poppy.
358
00:19:57,600 --> 00:19:59,192
Oh, there must be something.
359
00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:02,238
Well, you see, I was
very strictly brought up.
360
00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:07,189
I lived in a small town and we hardly ever
saw a lady's ankle, let alone her leg.
361
00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:09,151
Nowadays, of course, anything goes.
362
00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:13,950
You know, you're so right. I've got a friend
who wears her skirts right up to here.
363
00:20:15,540 --> 00:20:17,290
Will there be anything further, Miss Poppy?
364
00:20:17,310 --> 00:20:18,970
I haven't embarrassed you, have I, James?
365
00:20:19,040 --> 00:20:21,838
No, miss,
but I do have my other duties to attend to.
366
00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:23,433
All right, then. Toodle-oo.
367
00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:38,108
You're a dab hand with
a pastry knife, Mrs Lipton.
368
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:41,795
I wish I had a shilling for
every pie I've made, Mr Stokes.
369
00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:44,872
I bet you've got a nice
little nest egg tucked away.
370
00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:47,076
Would that I had, Mr Stokes.
371
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:49,794
But I'll... I'll not go hungry.
372
00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:53,994
The late Mr Lipton, he was
a very careful man.
373
00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:56,509
Didn't you have any children,
then, Mrs Lipton?
374
00:20:57,200 --> 00:20:58,997
Mind your own business.
375
00:20:59,960 --> 00:21:02,474
Would you care to have a glass
of stout with me, Mrs Lipton?
376
00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:05,472
Not just for the moment, Mr Stokes.
I'll have it with my dinner.
377
00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:07,869
I wouldn't mind a drop, Mr Stokes.
378
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:09,831
Get a glass, Mabel.
379
00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:13,674
It's got iron in it, you know.
I need a lot of iron.
380
00:21:13,760 --> 00:21:15,637
Watch out it doesn't rust your teeth.
381
00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:18,719
I hope not. I can't afford another set.
382
00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:21,716
- Morning, all.
- Morning.
383
00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:25,273
I hope I'm not interrupting
your mid-morning refreshment.
384
00:21:25,360 --> 00:21:28,113
You're always welcome, Constable Wilson.
385
00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:30,914
Is that a drop of stout on the table?
386
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:32,718
Mabel, get a glass.
387
00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:36,439
I thought you didn't drink on duty.
388
00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:40,672
It's been a very tiring day, Mrs Lipton.
And stout's got a lot of iron in it.
389
00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:42,671
Mind it don't rust your boots.
390
00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:47,598
You're so sharp you'll cut yourself
one of these days, young Henry.
391
00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:51,391
And will there be a nice piece
of cherry cake, Mrs Lipton?
392
00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:55,274
- Oh, you'll spoil your lunch.
- Oh, am I staying to lunch?
393
00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:57,232
You usually do.
394
00:21:59,120 --> 00:22:01,588
It's steak and kidney pie.
395
00:22:02,240 --> 00:22:04,549
Well, in that case,
I shall restrain myself.
396
00:22:04,640 --> 00:22:08,918
- And what's on the menu tonight for dinner?
- Oh, I'm not cooking tonight.
397
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:11,992
The family are all going out
to see The Desert Song.
398
00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:15,118
- What a wonderful life they lead.
- There'll be 10 of them.
399
00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:17,634
And they'll all go on
to some posh restaurant afterwards
400
00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:20,234
and spend enough money
to keep you and me for a year.
401
00:22:23,360 --> 00:22:25,669
- Glass of stout, James?
- No, thank you.
402
00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:27,239
You look as if you need it.
403
00:22:27,310 --> 00:22:29,586
I've just been carrying a heavy trunk down
for Miss Poppy.
404
00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:31,591
I hoped she behaved herself.
405
00:22:31,720 --> 00:22:33,631
Least said, soonest mended.
406
00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:37,556
You finished the bedrooms already, Ivy?
407
00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:41,076
No, I've got to meet a solicitor
outside the back door at 12:00.
408
00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:44,197
It's for Lady Lavender. She doesn't
want the rest of the family to know.
409
00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:46,635
Ivy, what have you got on your face?
410
00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:50,710
- Oh, just some rouge and lipstick.
- How dare you.
411
00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:54,077
You know perfectly well the domestic staff
are not allowed to paint their faces.
412
00:22:54,150 --> 00:22:56,146
Anyone would think
you'd never been in service before.
413
00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:57,986
What on earth possessed
you to do such a thing?
414
00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:00,116
I didn't put it on. It was Miss Cissy.
415
00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:02,831
Oh, I see.
416
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:05,992
Let sleeping dogs lie, Mr Twelvetrees.
417
00:23:06,080 --> 00:23:09,595
Well, you take it off as quickly as you can
and don't let it happen again.
418
00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:11,193
Yes, Mr Twelvetrees.
419
00:23:11,280 --> 00:23:15,558
You can't blame Ivy for doing what she's told.
Toffs amuse themselves with the likes of us.
420
00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:17,119
You're right there, Mr Stokes.
421
00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:20,192
Nothing the young ones like better
than knocking our helmets off.
422
00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:22,919
Nevertheless, there's a dividing line
between masters and servants
423
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:25,116
and it's up to us not to cross it.
424
00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:27,760
There's someone at the back door
with a bowler hat on.
425
00:23:27,880 --> 00:23:29,438
That'll be the solicitor.
426
00:23:29,520 --> 00:23:32,830
What's he come to the back door for?
What's all the secrecy?
427
00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:36,595
Well, Lady Lavender is
very rich in her own right
428
00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:39,638
and she doesn't want no interference
from His Lordship.
429
00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:43,714
- I wonder what she's giving away this time.
- What do you mean, giving away?
430
00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:46,439
Least said, soonest mended.
431
00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:49,956
That's what Mr Twelvetrees always says.
Isn't it, Mr Twelvetrees?
432
00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:51,871
Watch it, Henry.
433
00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:55,438
This is Mr Franklyn.
434
00:23:55,520 --> 00:23:58,239
- Good morning, everyone.
- Good morning, sir.
435
00:23:58,320 --> 00:24:00,072
Do excuse me, please, do carry on.
436
00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:01,559
Henry, door.
437
00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:04,754
Thank you.
438
00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:10,317
I just came in to use the toilet, sir.
439
00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:13,639
Thank you.
440
00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:20,118
They're a funny bunch, that lot upstairs.
441
00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:22,549
You haven't heard
the half of it, Mr Stokes.
442
00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:26,553
- Get on with your work, Mabel.
- Yes, Mr Twelvetrees.
443
00:24:29,120 --> 00:24:34,399
"They dined upon mince and slices of quince,
which they ate with a runcible spoon."
444
00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:36,630
Don't fidget. Listen.
445
00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:42,670
"And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand,
they danced by the light of the moon."
446
00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:46,275
- There, Captain, what do you think of that?
- Codswallop.
447
00:24:47,120 --> 00:24:50,715
Well, that settles it.
You're not having the rubber plantation.
448
00:24:50,840 --> 00:24:52,319
(Knocking on door)
449
00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:54,675
- CAPTAIN: Come in.
- Shut up. Come in.
450
00:24:58,480 --> 00:25:01,074
- Mr Franklyn, m'lady.
- Oh, come in.
451
00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:02,309
Good morning, m'lady.
452
00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:04,277
- What's your name?
- Franklyn.
453
00:25:04,360 --> 00:25:07,432
- Not you, her.
- Ivy, but you call me Ethel.
454
00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:10,671
- No, your full name.
- Ivy Teasdale.
455
00:25:11,360 --> 00:25:14,875
Oh, well, I suppose it'll have to do.
All right, you can go now.
456
00:25:17,960 --> 00:25:21,873
Now, look here, Teddy. I'm not
going to beat about the bush anymore.
457
00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:24,076
You've got to be seen to.
458
00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:26,754
You're talking about me
as if I were a tom cat.
459
00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:28,999
It's nearly as bad.
460
00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:33,439
Well, what about you and Lady Agatha? Her
husband's on to you. He's after your blood.
461
00:25:33,520 --> 00:25:36,830
- Sir Ralph hasn't been round here, has he?
- That put the wind up you, didn't it?
462
00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:39,593
Up till now, you've got away with murder.
463
00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:41,796
What about your previous paramours?
464
00:25:41,880 --> 00:25:44,792
You went charging round
Mayfair like a polecat.
465
00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:46,950
Well, at least they had titles.
466
00:25:47,040 --> 00:25:50,430
Oh, that makes it all right then, does it?
As long as they're wearing a tiara.
467
00:25:50,510 --> 00:25:52,826
Well, it's a damn sight better
than wearing a housemaid's cap.
468
00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:55,354
Don't you understand, George?
469
00:25:55,440 --> 00:26:01,197
You've no idea of the purity of these
girls. No sham, no pretence, no side.
470
00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:04,234
Everything stripped off.
471
00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:10,355
There they are in their attic rooms,
threadbare carpet on the bare boards,
472
00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:15,275
rickety chest of drawers with a
cracked mirror, and the iron bedstead.
473
00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:19,319
My God, Teddy, you're
a case and no mistake.
474
00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:22,116
But it's all perfectly normal.
475
00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:25,556
Look, there's nothing wrong
with what you want to do.
476
00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:27,312
It's who you want to do it with
477
00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:29,914
and the fact that you're so damn clumsy
when you do it.
478
00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:34,672
- But it's all so exciting.
- That's no excuse.
479
00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:37,513
Five settlements I've made on girls
on your behalf.
480
00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:39,909
And now I've had this
letter from Violet's solicitor.
481
00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:45,313
Oh, Violet. Dear little shiny-faced Violet
with her chapped hands.
482
00:26:45,630 --> 00:26:48,050
- She was different from all the others.
- You're damn right.
483
00:26:48,120 --> 00:26:51,192
I've had to double her allowance.
She's just had twins.
484
00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:53,555
Oh, no, no...
485
00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:57,030
For goodness' sake, pull yourself together.
Have a whisky or something.
486
00:26:57,120 --> 00:26:58,519
(Knocking on door)
487
00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:00,033
Oh, come in.
488
00:27:00,760 --> 00:27:04,036
Excuse me, sir, there's a Mr Franklyn,
the solicitor, to see you.
489
00:27:04,120 --> 00:27:08,238
- My God, is this another girl, Teddy?
- I don't know, I'm so confused.
490
00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:11,676
He had an appointment with Lady Lavender
and now he wishes to see you.
491
00:27:11,760 --> 00:27:15,355
- Oh, she isn't at it again, is she? Oh,
send him in. - Very good, m'lord.
492
00:27:15,440 --> 00:27:18,318
His Lordship will see you
now. Mr Franklyn, m'lord.
493
00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:21,638
- Oh, Franklyn, do sit down.
- Thank you.
494
00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:24,988
Well, what's she been giving away now?
495
00:27:25,160 --> 00:27:29,312
Rather more serious than usual.
It's the Union Jack Rubber Company.
496
00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:33,828
- That's yours, isn't it, George? - Not all
of it. She's got the controlling interest.
497
00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:37,356
I mean, if she messes about with that,
it'll knock me for six.
498
00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:39,510
Who's she given the shares to? The parrot?
499
00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:45,475
I've been asked to prepare a deed of gift
in favour of a Miss Ivy Teasdale.
500
00:27:49,240 --> 00:27:52,596
There we are. Come and sit down, James.
501
00:27:55,560 --> 00:27:57,915
This strawberry jam
looks a treat, Mrs Lipton.
502
00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:02,312
Yes, we had a lovely crop of strawberries
down from the Hall this year.
503
00:28:02,840 --> 00:28:07,197
Right. Now, enjoy your tea.
I'll be back in an hour.
504
00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:11,189
That butcher, he's not
getting away with this bill.
505
00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:14,957
Ten shillings for six pounds
of sirloin steak.
506
00:28:16,080 --> 00:28:17,752
Daylight robbery.
507
00:28:19,520 --> 00:28:21,476
Not too much milk.
508
00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:24,472
You weren't that fussy when
we were in the trenches together.
509
00:28:24,560 --> 00:28:26,437
We were glad of anything then.
510
00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:28,431
Here, get stuck into the bread and jam.
511
00:28:28,520 --> 00:28:29,839
No, I can't face it.
512
00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:32,992
- What's the matter?
- I'd rather not say.
513
00:28:33,120 --> 00:28:35,076
Come on, you can tell me.
514
00:28:35,800 --> 00:28:39,156
Well, I'm beset with circumstances
beyond my control.
515
00:28:39,520 --> 00:28:41,988
- That sounds serious.
- It is serious.
516
00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:47,350
- You been pinching His Lordship's fags?
- I don't smoke and if I did, I'd buy them.
517
00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:49,233
More fool you.
518
00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:51,880
I smoke like a chimney
and I've not bought a fag in 10 years.
519
00:28:51,950 --> 00:28:53,826
Let me tell you something
else I've never bought...
520
00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:56,559
- I don't want to hear about it.
- What's the matter?
521
00:28:57,840 --> 00:28:59,432
It's Miss Poppy.
522
00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:03,718
Every time she gets me alone
in her bedroom, it happens.
523
00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:08,438
You're a crafty one, James Twelvetrees.
524
00:29:08,520 --> 00:29:11,796
- How long has this been going on?
- It's not like that.
525
00:29:12,070 --> 00:29:14,506
- Then what was it like?
- Look, if you're going to make insinuations,
526
00:29:14,520 --> 00:29:16,192
I shall take my tea into the scullery.
527
00:29:16,280 --> 00:29:19,158
Sit down. You can tell me,
we're old comrades.
528
00:29:19,840 --> 00:29:24,118
Well, when I took that heavy trunk
into her room this morning, she...
529
00:29:25,080 --> 00:29:27,196
She started saying risky things.
530
00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:30,311
What? Mucky stories?
531
00:29:31,560 --> 00:29:35,917
Certainly not. But it's been going
on for years. Ever since she was 18.
532
00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:39,112
I would tell His Lordship, but
I don't want to lose my position here.
533
00:29:39,880 --> 00:29:41,916
So what happened this morning?
534
00:29:43,520 --> 00:29:45,238
She felt my muscles.
535
00:29:47,840 --> 00:29:49,353
What muscles?
536
00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:51,993
These.
537
00:29:52,080 --> 00:29:54,071
What's wrong with that?
538
00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:57,914
She said they made her
go all wibbly-wobbly.
539
00:29:58,960 --> 00:30:00,154
Really?
540
00:30:01,160 --> 00:30:03,799
They don't make me go all wibbly-wobbly.
541
00:30:04,360 --> 00:30:07,796
Mind you, I'll say this for you, Jim,
you're built like a brick outhouse.
542
00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:12,032
And if that's all it takes to get her worked
up, your future could be very rosy here.
543
00:30:12,120 --> 00:30:15,351
Disgraceful, in her position, at her age.
544
00:30:15,640 --> 00:30:19,110
I ought to put her across my knee
and give her a good spanking.
545
00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:21,156
That might work and all.
546
00:30:21,960 --> 00:30:24,394
It's impossible to have a
serious conversation with you.
547
00:30:24,480 --> 00:30:26,232
Face facts, Jim.
548
00:30:26,320 --> 00:30:29,392
The sort of young chaps she goes out with
haven't got any go in them.
549
00:30:29,480 --> 00:30:30,833
All they've got is money.
550
00:30:30,920 --> 00:30:34,629
Now you haven't got any money,
but you've got what she's after.
551
00:30:34,720 --> 00:30:37,473
So use it. She'll be grateful
and you'll be on easy street.
552
00:30:37,560 --> 00:30:40,199
What do you think I am?
Some sort of foreign gigolo?
553
00:30:40,280 --> 00:30:43,750
Come off it, Jim.
Look, they're up there and we're down here.
554
00:30:43,840 --> 00:30:45,831
Use the talent God gave you.
555
00:30:49,360 --> 00:30:52,511
Miss Poppy's room.
You're down here, get up there.
556
00:30:54,160 --> 00:30:57,755
Let's face it. We can't allow these shares
to pass out of the family.
557
00:30:57,840 --> 00:31:01,150
Particularly into the hands of a servant.
I mean, where would it all end?
558
00:31:01,240 --> 00:31:04,471
I don't know why you're so worried, Daddy.
You've got pots and pots of money.
559
00:31:04,560 --> 00:31:07,836
- What's 200 measly shares?
- You just don't understand.
560
00:31:07,920 --> 00:31:09,911
In the first place, when it comes to money,
561
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:12,912
you can take it from me,
you can never have too much.
562
00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:17,596
In the second place,
those 200 measly shares you describe,
563
00:31:17,680 --> 00:31:21,673
they represent the controlling interest
in the Union Jack Rubber Company.
564
00:31:21,760 --> 00:31:25,514
Without those, the company could fall
into the hands of all sorts of people.
565
00:31:25,600 --> 00:31:29,912
They could have meetings and vote
and run the bally show instead of me.
566
00:31:30,480 --> 00:31:32,072
Ivy's a sweet, innocent girl.
567
00:31:32,160 --> 00:31:35,072
You wouldn't have any trouble with her.
She'd do whatever you told her.
568
00:31:35,160 --> 00:31:38,789
I'm not having meetings with Ivy every
time I want to take a company decision.
569
00:31:38,880 --> 00:31:42,793
Not only that,
perhaps money would spoil someone like Ivy.
570
00:31:42,880 --> 00:31:46,031
She could afford to buy perfume
and scented soap.
571
00:31:46,480 --> 00:31:50,075
She'd use powder
and I'd no longer see that shiny face.
572
00:31:51,720 --> 00:31:54,917
I don't see why servants shouldn't be
allowed to make up like everyone else.
573
00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:57,798
You'd ruin her. Leave her alone, do
you hear me? Just leave her alone.
574
00:31:57,880 --> 00:31:59,757
Shut up, Teddy!
575
00:31:59,840 --> 00:32:03,037
It's Granny's money, Daddy. She has
a right to do what she likes with it.
576
00:32:03,120 --> 00:32:05,111
Not if she's bats in the belfry.
577
00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:10,149
Let's face it, anyone who reads poetry to a parrot
cannot possibly make a responsible decision.
578
00:32:10,240 --> 00:32:11,673
So what are you suggesting, Daddy?
579
00:32:11,750 --> 00:32:14,266
Carting her off in a straitjacket
and putting her in a padded cell?
580
00:32:14,280 --> 00:32:17,033
Don't be absurd, Cissy,
it isn't like that at all.
581
00:32:17,160 --> 00:32:21,073
There are some beautiful places.
They look just like lovely country houses.
582
00:32:21,160 --> 00:32:23,116
Except for the bars on the window.
583
00:32:23,200 --> 00:32:24,997
That sounds horrid, Daddy.
584
00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:28,038
Can't somebody sign something
to say that she can't sign anything?
585
00:32:28,100 --> 00:32:29,976
Then she could stay in
her room with the parrot.
586
00:32:29,990 --> 00:32:31,706
That's certainly better
than locking her up.
587
00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:34,700
All right, I'll have a word with Franklyn,
see if he can suggest something.
588
00:32:34,760 --> 00:32:38,719
- You mean you're gonna have her certified.
- I never mentioned the word certified.
589
00:32:38,800 --> 00:32:41,030
But somehow or other,
she's got to be stopped.
590
00:32:41,110 --> 00:32:43,730
Otherwise I'll have that idiot girl Ivy
on the board of directors.
591
00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:44,915
(Knocking on door)
592
00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:46,069
Come in.
593
00:32:47,160 --> 00:32:48,513
Hello, Ivy.
594
00:32:49,480 --> 00:32:51,152
- Hello, Ivy.
- Hello, Ivy.
595
00:32:54,480 --> 00:32:55,799
Excuse me, m'lord.
596
00:32:55,880 --> 00:33:00,158
Mr Stokes says it's time for Miss Cissy and
Miss Poppy to get dressed up for the theatre.
597
00:33:00,240 --> 00:33:02,959
I've run a bath,
but I don't know who's going to have it.
598
00:33:03,040 --> 00:33:04,871
Thank you, Ivy.
599
00:33:04,960 --> 00:33:06,996
- Thank you, Ivy.
- Thank you, Ivy.
600
00:33:13,560 --> 00:33:15,152
Sit down, Teddy.
601
00:33:17,160 --> 00:33:20,596
Any idea what this Desert
Song thing's about, Stokes?
602
00:33:20,760 --> 00:33:23,320
Cook sings a snatch from one of the songs
from time to time
603
00:33:23,390 --> 00:33:24,770
when she's going about her duties.
604
00:33:24,840 --> 00:33:26,034
Well, how does it go?
605
00:33:26,120 --> 00:33:30,238
Something about blue heaven and you and I,
and sand kissing a moonlit sky.
606
00:33:30,760 --> 00:33:32,716
Sounds a bit soppy to me.
607
00:33:39,720 --> 00:33:43,759
I believe it concerns an English Lord
who leads the Arabs against the French.
608
00:33:43,840 --> 00:33:47,628
Well, that's quite understandable.
Never had much time for the French myself.
609
00:33:47,720 --> 00:33:49,312
Never much good after lunch.
610
00:33:49,400 --> 00:33:51,436
- May I assist you?
- No, no.
611
00:33:52,560 --> 00:33:54,676
I'm all fingers and thumbs tonight.
612
00:33:55,600 --> 00:33:59,878
If I may venture to say, sir,
you do look a trifle put out this evening.
613
00:33:59,960 --> 00:34:02,997
- Well, Lady Lavender, you know.
- Indeed.
614
00:34:03,080 --> 00:34:06,197
Yes, she does some silly things.
615
00:34:06,640 --> 00:34:11,555
We are aware of this in the servants' hall.
She's inclined to use Ivy for target practice.
616
00:34:11,880 --> 00:34:13,836
You mean she throws knives at her?
617
00:34:13,920 --> 00:34:17,515
Oh, no, sir.
Mostly scrambled eggs and tapioca pudding.
618
00:34:17,640 --> 00:34:20,552
I've asked cook to devise a menu
that doesn't stain.
619
00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:23,428
Well, she must have some regard for Ivy.
620
00:34:23,520 --> 00:34:27,479
She wants to give the wretched girl all her
shares in the Union Jack Rubber Company.
621
00:34:28,440 --> 00:34:31,238
- Does she indeed, sir?
- It's a pretty big concern.
622
00:34:31,720 --> 00:34:34,996
Yes, I believe I've seen it advertised
in barbershops.
623
00:34:36,080 --> 00:34:38,674
Well, that's just one side of the business.
624
00:34:38,760 --> 00:34:43,072
We also make motor car tyres,
invalid cushions with holes in the middle,
625
00:34:43,160 --> 00:34:45,754
and those little bits
that go on top of pencils.
626
00:34:46,720 --> 00:34:49,314
Would these shares be worth
a lot of money, sir?
627
00:34:49,400 --> 00:34:52,437
Well, Sir Ralph Shawcross,
who is my main opponent on the board
628
00:34:52,520 --> 00:34:54,272
would give a small fortune for them.
629
00:34:54,360 --> 00:34:57,238
- Lady Agatha's husband, sir?
- Yes, Lady Agatha's husband.
630
00:34:57,310 --> 00:34:59,786
- By the way, he hasn't been round here, has he?
- Oh, no, sir.
631
00:34:59,800 --> 00:35:02,394
If he does call,
I'm not at home under any circumstances.
632
00:35:02,480 --> 00:35:04,198
Of course, sir.
633
00:35:04,280 --> 00:35:07,511
For some reason,
he seems to have got his knife into me.
634
00:35:07,600 --> 00:35:08,953
I wonder why.
635
00:35:09,040 --> 00:35:12,316
The point is, he'd sell his soul
to get his hands on those shares
636
00:35:12,400 --> 00:35:14,391
just to vote me off the board.
637
00:35:14,480 --> 00:35:17,517
I think Ivy could be persuaded
to sell them, sir.
638
00:35:18,240 --> 00:35:21,152
She's a sweet girl. A bit simple.
639
00:35:21,680 --> 00:35:26,515
Mind you, for all we know she may have
some greedy, drunken brute of a father.
640
00:35:28,320 --> 00:35:30,709
And he might bully her into selling them.
641
00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:35,037
Would you like me to inquire
as to his character, sir?
642
00:35:35,120 --> 00:35:37,270
No. No, definitely not.
643
00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:41,230
I don't want anybody to know about this,
least of all Ivy.
644
00:35:41,320 --> 00:35:43,880
It wouldn't be fair to build up her hopes
645
00:35:43,960 --> 00:35:47,589
because I have every intention
of nipping the whole thing in the bud.
646
00:35:47,680 --> 00:35:49,318
Of course, sir.
647
00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:52,437
You couldn't have one of the servants
on the board of directors.
648
00:35:53,440 --> 00:35:54,998
Where would it all end?
649
00:35:59,920 --> 00:36:04,914
- Two points or three on your handkerchief, sir?
- Two, I think. It's only a musical.
650
00:36:13,080 --> 00:36:16,550
Oh, drat. There's a dark smudge
on my shirt front.
651
00:36:16,640 --> 00:36:19,359
I think it may be a speck of something
on your monocle, sir.
652
00:36:19,440 --> 00:36:21,351
- Oh, really?
- Allow me, sir.
653
00:36:27,400 --> 00:36:32,599
Oh, yes. Thank you, James. You're a treasure.
You'll make someone a jolly good husband.
654
00:36:32,680 --> 00:36:35,240
Mrs Lipton was saying
that only the other day, sir.
655
00:36:35,320 --> 00:36:37,709
You're not going
to marry the cook, are you?
656
00:36:37,800 --> 00:36:39,518
I hardly think so, sir.
657
00:36:39,600 --> 00:36:41,192
You're bound to get married one day.
658
00:36:41,280 --> 00:36:43,999
Well, that is my intention, sir,
if the good Lord wills it.
659
00:36:44,080 --> 00:36:47,311
You're so lucky, you know.
Your choice is so wide.
660
00:36:47,400 --> 00:36:50,949
I mean, this whole street is
chock-a-block with girls looking like Ivy.
661
00:36:51,040 --> 00:36:55,318
Lady's maids, housemaids, parlour maids,
and lots of them wear glasses.
662
00:36:55,400 --> 00:36:57,755
I'm not attracted to them, sir.
663
00:36:57,840 --> 00:37:00,991
Not attracted to them?
What's the matter with you?
664
00:37:01,840 --> 00:37:04,354
Well, I prefer someone
a little more educated.
665
00:37:04,440 --> 00:37:06,112
Oh, what about nurses?
666
00:37:06,200 --> 00:37:10,876
Starched aprons, black woollen stockings,
tight black belts, silver buckles,
667
00:37:10,960 --> 00:37:13,713
little medals and smelling of chloroform.
668
00:37:14,120 --> 00:37:15,553
(Gong sounding)
669
00:37:15,640 --> 00:37:18,552
Champagne cocktails are being served
prior to the arrival of the cars
670
00:37:18,640 --> 00:37:21,029
to take you to Drury Lane, sir.
671
00:37:40,440 --> 00:37:42,954
Dad, why are you stealing
His Lordship's whisky?
672
00:37:43,040 --> 00:37:46,999
Stealing? I am not stealing.
This is part of a butler's perks.
673
00:37:47,080 --> 00:37:48,593
His Lordship knows.
674
00:37:48,680 --> 00:37:51,035
Then why are you topping it up with soda?
675
00:37:51,120 --> 00:37:53,839
Strong whisky is not good
for His Lordship's gout.
676
00:37:53,960 --> 00:37:55,552
I didn't know he had gout.
677
00:37:55,680 --> 00:37:59,116
He hasn't, but he will have
if he drinks strong whisky.
678
00:37:59,920 --> 00:38:00,989
Dad.
679
00:38:01,600 --> 00:38:03,352
What time will the family be back?
680
00:38:03,440 --> 00:38:07,115
Well, they're going on to a theatre
after dinner and then perhaps a nightclub.
681
00:38:07,200 --> 00:38:10,317
- Could be 3:00 or 4:00 in the morning.
- Oh, heck.
682
00:38:10,400 --> 00:38:13,437
James says I've got to wait up for them
in case they want anything.
683
00:38:13,520 --> 00:38:15,112
Part of the job, Ivy.
684
00:38:15,200 --> 00:38:18,192
Keep the fire going in the drawing room
and have a kip in the chair.
685
00:38:18,280 --> 00:38:20,032
And go put a clean apron on.
686
00:38:20,120 --> 00:38:22,680
Well, it's not my fault,
it's Lady Lavender.
687
00:38:22,760 --> 00:38:26,514
I pleaded with Mrs Lipton
not to give her chocolate pudding.
688
00:38:26,840 --> 00:38:28,831
I've had enough, Dad. I want to leave.
689
00:38:28,920 --> 00:38:32,230
What are you talking about? You don't
know what's going on in this house.
690
00:38:32,320 --> 00:38:34,356
You don't know what's going on.
691
00:38:34,480 --> 00:38:36,869
Mr Teddy grabbed me
in the hall this morning
692
00:38:36,960 --> 00:38:40,635
and asked me to feel his heart
going humpity, humpity, humpity, hump.
693
00:38:40,720 --> 00:38:42,312
I don't trust him.
694
00:38:42,400 --> 00:38:45,039
- Did you get that bolt for my door?
- I haven't had time.
695
00:38:45,750 --> 00:38:49,010
That means I've got to spend another night
with only a chair under the door handle
696
00:38:49,080 --> 00:38:50,798
to stop me being ruined.
697
00:38:50,880 --> 00:38:52,871
What are you worrying about?
698
00:38:52,960 --> 00:38:55,520
My room's only next door.
All you got to do is shout out.
699
00:38:55,600 --> 00:38:56,999
I don't care.
700
00:38:58,480 --> 00:39:02,234
- I'm going back to Mum.
- No, hang on a minute. Ivy, come here. Listen.
701
00:39:02,320 --> 00:39:04,629
I've just found out from Lord Meldrum
702
00:39:04,720 --> 00:39:08,508
that Lady Lavender is giving you shares
in a Rubber Company.
703
00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:11,789
She told me she was
giving them to the parrot.
704
00:39:11,880 --> 00:39:15,316
Well, she's changed her mind, Ivy.
She's giving them to you.
705
00:39:15,400 --> 00:39:19,598
Now, just think. You could be rich.
Live in a big house.
706
00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:22,508
Have servants to wait on you.
707
00:39:22,590 --> 00:39:23,986
Now you're not going to give all that up
708
00:39:24,000 --> 00:39:26,833
just because she's thrown a bit
of chocolate pudding at you, are you?
709
00:39:26,920 --> 00:39:29,559
- No, I suppose not.
- Good girl.
710
00:39:29,640 --> 00:39:32,632
Now go and change your apron.
Supper will be ready in a minute.
711
00:39:37,320 --> 00:39:40,357
Dad, could she have her
meals on paper plates?
712
00:39:45,600 --> 00:39:49,878
When it comes to shepherd's pie,
Mrs Lipton, you have a touch of genius.
713
00:39:50,320 --> 00:39:53,357
Well, I was brought up
in the old school of cooking.
714
00:39:53,440 --> 00:39:57,956
The right recipe, with good ingredients,
cooked to a turn.
715
00:39:58,600 --> 00:40:01,876
And washed down
with a nice drop of Chateau Margaux.
716
00:40:05,280 --> 00:40:08,317
That's two bottles of His
Lordship's best wine you've opened.
717
00:40:08,400 --> 00:40:10,516
When I was doing my
inspection of the cellar,
718
00:40:10,600 --> 00:40:14,434
my suspicions were aroused by a musty smell
hovering around one of the bins.
719
00:40:14,520 --> 00:40:18,638
"Ah," I thought, "the quality of this wine
must be checked forthwith."
720
00:40:18,720 --> 00:40:22,872
Quite right, Mr Stokes. You can't
have His Lordship drinking musty wine.
721
00:40:22,960 --> 00:40:25,269
You'd betray a sacred trust.
722
00:40:25,360 --> 00:40:26,679
Well, good health.
723
00:40:26,760 --> 00:40:28,637
- Good health.
- Good health.
724
00:40:31,200 --> 00:40:33,430
- What do you think?
- Delicious.
725
00:40:33,720 --> 00:40:35,790
I think your suspicions were unfounded.
726
00:40:36,440 --> 00:40:39,113
I agree. It's a great weight off my mind.
727
00:40:39,640 --> 00:40:42,393
It all tastes the same to me. Like red ink.
728
00:40:43,080 --> 00:40:47,312
I used to think like that,
but I'm learning under Mr Stokes.
729
00:40:47,440 --> 00:40:50,637
Can I try the second bottle
to see if it's as good as the first?
730
00:40:50,720 --> 00:40:52,631
You've had quite enough, Henry.
731
00:40:52,720 --> 00:40:56,030
- I've finished it all, Mrs Lipton.
- Thank you, Mabel.
732
00:40:56,120 --> 00:40:57,838
Oh, that looks nice.
733
00:40:57,920 --> 00:41:01,390
- Shepherd's pie, is it?
- Yes, Mabel, it's shepherd's pie.
734
00:41:01,480 --> 00:41:03,232
And red wine.
735
00:41:03,320 --> 00:41:06,357
I was only saying to my
old man the other day,
736
00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:10,155
"I can't remember the
last time I tasted red wine."
737
00:41:10,240 --> 00:41:11,559
Fancy that.
738
00:41:12,440 --> 00:41:15,955
Well, if that's all, I'll be off.
739
00:41:16,280 --> 00:41:21,354
There's a bit of cold liver left over from breakfast.
I've wrapped it up for you. It's on the side.
740
00:41:21,440 --> 00:41:22,668
Thank you.
741
00:41:22,760 --> 00:41:24,716
I expect it'll warm up all right.
742
00:41:24,800 --> 00:41:26,313
It's got a lot of iron in it.
743
00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:29,995
Oh, and there's a drop of stout left
in the bottle. Take it with you, Mabel.
744
00:41:30,080 --> 00:41:31,229
You're very kind.
745
00:41:31,320 --> 00:41:34,118
- And don't forget to bring the bottle back.
- Oh, I won't.
746
00:41:34,200 --> 00:41:35,428
Good night, all.
747
00:41:35,520 --> 00:41:37,511
- Good night.
- Good night, Mabel.
748
00:41:37,600 --> 00:41:40,194
There's loads of shepherd's pie left.
749
00:41:40,280 --> 00:41:42,919
Why didn't you ask her
to stay and have a bit?
750
00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:46,675
What? Her? The daily woman? Sitting
down at the table with us? Certainly not.
751
00:41:46,760 --> 00:41:48,671
Where would it all end?
752
00:41:49,880 --> 00:41:52,678
I just feel sorry for the poor old soul.
753
00:41:52,760 --> 00:41:55,672
What with her husband not working
and flat on his back.
754
00:41:55,760 --> 00:42:01,312
Well, I hope she sits him up when she gives him
his stout otherwise it'll go all down his pyjamas.
755
00:42:01,400 --> 00:42:03,960
Go to bed, Henry. You're drunk.
756
00:42:04,240 --> 00:42:06,834
- I've only had one glass.
- Go to bed.
757
00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:12,716
I wouldn't be surprised
if I've got water on the brain.
758
00:42:13,320 --> 00:42:18,155
Now, who's for a nice bit
of my homemade pink blancmange?
759
00:42:18,760 --> 00:42:22,230
You've never had a bit
of my pink blancmange, have you, Mr Stokes?
760
00:42:23,520 --> 00:42:27,433
That's one of the several pleasures
I've got to come, Mrs Lipton.
761
00:42:27,720 --> 00:42:31,872
- My mum makes lovely blancmange, doesn't she?
- I wouldn't know, Ivy.
762
00:42:31,960 --> 00:42:34,155
No, of course you wouldn't.
763
00:42:34,280 --> 00:42:35,918
Sorry, Dad.
764
00:42:36,640 --> 00:42:38,437
You've got a treat in store, Mr Stokes.
765
00:42:38,520 --> 00:42:42,433
Mrs Lipton's pink blancmange
is almost as well known as her cherry cake.
766
00:42:42,520 --> 00:42:47,878
Just a little tap all the way round.
Just to loosen it in the mould.
767
00:42:49,360 --> 00:42:50,429
And...
768
00:42:51,440 --> 00:42:53,635
hey presto.
769
00:43:08,240 --> 00:43:09,992
I love pink custard.
770
00:43:13,920 --> 00:43:16,593
Did you enjoy
that Desert Song thing last night, Teddy?
771
00:43:16,680 --> 00:43:18,272
Not bad.
772
00:43:18,360 --> 00:43:21,796
Some of the chorus girls were damn pretty,
especially in the harem scene.
773
00:43:21,880 --> 00:43:24,394
I don't like the way they
use all that make-up.
774
00:43:24,480 --> 00:43:27,119
Harem girls don't have scrubbed faces
and glasses, Teddy.
775
00:43:28,280 --> 00:43:29,474
(Knocking on door)
776
00:43:29,560 --> 00:43:30,709
Come.
777
00:43:31,360 --> 00:43:33,635
- Your coffee, m'lord.
- Thank you, James.
778
00:43:33,720 --> 00:43:36,792
- Will you be going to the City today, sir?
- No, I don't think so.
779
00:43:38,200 --> 00:43:41,317
- That's all right, we'll pour it.
- Very good, m'lord.
780
00:43:42,960 --> 00:43:45,793
- May I say something, m'lord?
- What is it?
781
00:43:45,880 --> 00:43:49,236
Well, I've no wish to speak out of turn,
but I feel it my duty to tell you
782
00:43:49,320 --> 00:43:53,074
that Lady Lavender has asked Ivy the maid
to telephone her solicitor again.
783
00:43:53,160 --> 00:43:56,914
He's just arrived and Mr Stokes has
escorted him to her room by the back stairs.
784
00:43:57,000 --> 00:43:58,752
Thank you for telling us.
785
00:43:58,840 --> 00:44:01,035
- I hope I did the right thing.
- Definitely.
786
00:44:01,120 --> 00:44:02,633
Thank you, sir.
787
00:44:04,400 --> 00:44:05,879
What's she up to now?
788
00:44:05,960 --> 00:44:09,111
Don't worry, Franklyn will come down
and tell us everything.
789
00:44:09,200 --> 00:44:10,838
You know what an old toad he is.
790
00:44:17,640 --> 00:44:20,200
- What's she saying, Dad?
- I can't hear.
791
00:44:20,280 --> 00:44:24,432
That's the trouble with these posh houses,
they make the doors too thick.
792
00:44:24,520 --> 00:44:27,114
When he comes out, can I
have a word with him?
793
00:44:27,200 --> 00:44:30,112
I don't want Lady Lavender
to give me them shares.
794
00:44:30,200 --> 00:44:32,031
It'll cause too much trouble.
795
00:44:32,120 --> 00:44:33,758
You keep your mouth shut.
796
00:44:33,840 --> 00:44:36,400
Hey up, here he comes,
make yourself scarce.
797
00:44:36,480 --> 00:44:37,799
Good day, m'lady.
798
00:44:37,880 --> 00:44:40,872
CAPTAIN: Come in.
LADY LAVENDER: Shut up.
799
00:44:40,960 --> 00:44:44,999
- Everything all right, sir?
- I want to see His Lordship immediately.
800
00:44:45,080 --> 00:44:47,913
I'll find out if he's free. Come this way.
801
00:45:01,200 --> 00:45:06,115
Excuse me, sir. About Lady Lavender
and those shares, I don't want them.
802
00:45:06,200 --> 00:45:09,112
She doesn't know what she's saying, sir.
She's a very simple girl.
803
00:45:09,200 --> 00:45:12,590
You needn't concern yourself, girl.
You are no longer the beneficiary.
804
00:45:12,680 --> 00:45:13,908
You what?
805
00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:18,073
Lady Lavender has changed her mind.
She's given the shares to you.
806
00:45:18,800 --> 00:45:20,028
- To me?
- Yes.
807
00:45:20,120 --> 00:45:22,839
- You are Alfred Stokes, are you not?
- Yes.
808
00:45:22,920 --> 00:45:25,309
Then I'm sure you'll agree
the idea is totally absurd.
809
00:45:25,400 --> 00:45:26,913
I must see His Lordship at once.
810
00:45:27,000 --> 00:45:28,718
- At once?
- Yes, now.
811
00:45:28,800 --> 00:45:32,509
Well, if you'll wait in the dining room,
sir, I'll inform His Lordship.
812
00:45:32,600 --> 00:45:34,272
Well, hurry up.
813
00:45:37,390 --> 00:45:39,250
I've got to stop Franklyn
seeing His Lordship.
814
00:45:39,280 --> 00:45:42,590
Go outside the front door, close it,
count to 10 then start knocking.
815
00:45:42,680 --> 00:45:45,240
- What for?
- Never mind. Just do as I tell you.
816
00:45:50,760 --> 00:45:51,988
Come in.
817
00:45:53,430 --> 00:45:55,506
- What is it, Stokes?
- I'm sorry to trouble you, sir,
818
00:45:55,520 --> 00:45:58,193
but I've just seen Sir Ralph
coming up the drive with a horsewhip.
819
00:45:58,280 --> 00:45:59,872
What?
820
00:45:59,960 --> 00:46:01,791
Get away from that window.
821
00:46:02,760 --> 00:46:03,988
What am I going to do?
822
00:46:04,080 --> 00:46:07,117
He'll be knocking at
the door any minute, sir.
823
00:46:07,600 --> 00:46:08,999
(Banging on door)
824
00:46:09,080 --> 00:46:11,469
- That'll be him now.
- Oh, God.
825
00:46:11,560 --> 00:46:15,075
May I suggest you leave by the back door?
I'll escort you through the servants' hall.
826
00:46:15,160 --> 00:46:16,513
Right.
827
00:46:16,600 --> 00:46:18,909
- I must speak with you.
- Not now.
828
00:46:21,480 --> 00:46:22,913
(Banging on door)
829
00:46:31,000 --> 00:46:32,752
Have you had a word with His Lordship?
830
00:46:32,840 --> 00:46:35,513
No, he left rather hurriedly
by the servants' entrance.
831
00:46:35,600 --> 00:46:36,919
Oh, I see.
832
00:46:37,920 --> 00:46:41,629
- Shouldn't you use the servants' entrance?
- Not when His Lordship's using it.
833
00:46:43,080 --> 00:46:44,957
I'll telephone him tomorrow.
834
00:46:51,360 --> 00:46:53,032
It's me, Ivy.
835
00:46:54,120 --> 00:46:56,350
I'm sorry to bother you
in the middle of the morning.
836
00:46:56,440 --> 00:47:00,911
I know I don't usually get on to you
at this time of day, but it's urgent.
837
00:47:01,000 --> 00:47:04,993
Please don't let me dad have them shares.
It's bad for his greed.
838
00:47:05,080 --> 00:47:08,834
I'll explain it to you tonight when I'm
saying my prayers at the usual time.
839
00:47:08,920 --> 00:47:13,391
- Ivy! Ivy, where are you?
- Oh, heck. It's Mr Teddy.
840
00:47:14,120 --> 00:47:18,750
Don't worry, I'll deal with him this time.
You just look after me dad. Thank you.
841
00:47:24,720 --> 00:47:26,358
IVY: Get off!
842
00:47:29,140 --> 00:47:31,150
corrected by 7kozlov
- myfbs.ru -
843
00:48:15,320 --> 00:48:20,269
♪ From Mayfair to Park Lane
You will hear this same refrain
844
00:48:20,360 --> 00:48:23,432
♪ In every house again, again ♪
845
00:48:23,760 --> 00:48:25,591
You rang, m'lord?
846
00:48:25,680 --> 00:48:30,879
♪ Stepping out on the town
The social whirl goes round and round
847
00:48:30,960 --> 00:48:33,918
♪ The rich are up, the poor are down ♪
848
00:48:34,240 --> 00:48:36,151
You rang, m'lord?
849
00:48:36,240 --> 00:48:41,394
♪ The Bunny Hug at the Shim Sham Club
The Charleston at The Ritz
850
00:48:41,480 --> 00:48:47,077
#And at the Troc do the Turkey Trot
They give Aunt Maude a thousand fits
851
00:48:48,400 --> 00:48:54,555
♪ Talking flicks are here today
And Lindbergh's from the USA
852
00:48:55,160 --> 00:49:01,190
♪ Poor Valentino's passed away ♪
853
00:49:03,800 --> 00:49:05,677
How sad, m'lord.
72595
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