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1
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2
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Okay, babe, first candidate should be here any minute.
3
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Is the coffee ready?
4
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The tea kettle is charged.
5
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English breakfast, herbal tea,
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green tea, decaf, and regular.
7
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Hey, are we sure these pretzel sticks are vegan?
8
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I think so. Is one of the candidates vegan?
9
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Well, with the priestess, I have to assume.
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I don't wanna offend her, you know.
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I'm worried you're putting too much pressure on this.
12
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Uh...
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No, I am not.
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This officiant is gonna unite us in front of God
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for the rest of our lives. I mean, it is a big deal.
16
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Okay. Yeah, but the right person will find us.
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You just have to be yourself and not worry.
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And if she doesn't want a pretzel stick, she won't eat it.
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Because you think they're not vegan.
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I knew it. It's a stupid idea.
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I'm gonna throw these out.
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Hey.
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Look at me.
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This is supposed to be fun, alright?
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Everything will be okay.
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Okay.
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Let's have some fun.
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Mazel tov on the engagement.
29
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Rabbi Finkel, thank you for coming.
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Of course.
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So should we call you Pastor Savard
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or Pastor Nicole?
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Oh, Nicole's fine.
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Amethyst, or goddess, if you prefer.
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It's very nice to meet you, Amethyst.
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Can we call you Tom?
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Uh, Reverend Tom, if you don't mind.
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I didn't go to divinity school for seven years to be just Tom.
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If I may say, you two both have radiant auras.
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- Why, thank you. - I've always been
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blessed with second sight.
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Are those pretzel sticks?
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Yeah.
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Are-are you sure you're okay with officiating a wedding for,
45
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you know, folks like us?
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Who's to say a nice young Jewish boy
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couldn't find love with a handsome Catholic?
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We're a Side A church.
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That means that we believe all loving relationships
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are equal in the eyes of God.
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That's really beautiful.
52
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I brought you a few scripture passages
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on the subject that I think would be great for you to read.
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Hmm.
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Yours is a cool blue of a sage.
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Yours is a fiery, passionate red.
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And when you come together,
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your couple aura turns into a prismatic...
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Purple?
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Do you have the sight, too?
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No, I'm just familiar with the color wheel.
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The passage I recommend for same-sex unions is
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"Ani L'Dodi V'Dodi Li."
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I am my beloved's...
65
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- And my beloved is mine. - Yes.
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I guess something stuck from Hebrew school.
67
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And people don't always like to hear it.
68
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But sometimes love isn't enough.
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Marriage is the greatest commitment you'll ever make.
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Especially for you boys.
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You'll be joined together for eternity.
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Burning in hell.
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- Wow. - Hmm.
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Thanks for the heads up, Tom.
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Yep.
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- If I may offer a piece of advice? - Yeah.
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Don't listen to the noise.
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And believe me, there will be a lot of noise.
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Ho, ho, ho. Ha, ha, ha.
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He, he, he. Me, me, me.
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Dee, dee. He, he, he.
82
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Me, me, me. Thee, thee, thee.
83
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You available on the 26th?
84
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I don't believe in the Christian calendar. Or time.
85
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So all that's left to do now is to enroll you
86
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in some classes.
87
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- Some classes? - To convert, of course.
88
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I don't like to force anything on anyone,
89
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but I always ask my couples to have
90
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the big, difficult conversations now
91
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before you get married.
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About work, finances, romance.
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Oh, trust me, we've had all of the difficult conversations.
94
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And what about kids?
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- We're not gonna have kids. - Can't wait to have them.
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What?
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So who's your leading contender?
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I'll be honest, Amethyst had my vote
99
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right up until the moment she said I had a blue aura.
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Everybody knows it's emerald green.
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Are we seriously not gonna talk about this, Carlos?
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Talk about what?
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The gaping chasm that just opened up between us?
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There's no gaping chasm.
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Carlos, since when do you not wanna have kids?
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Since when did I ever say I did?
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I don't know, I-I guess I just assumed.
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You also assumed I didn't have a wife.
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You're so funny.
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How have we never had this conversation?
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I don't know. It's not something I've been thinking about.
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Plus, we've been busy working,
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trying to have a little fun
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when we're not in comas or being abducted.
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Yeah, but you... you love kids, Carlos.
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I love other people's kids.
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Okay. What about your nephews and nieces
118
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or-or Captain Vega's twins or baby Charlie?
119
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All other people's kids.
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Yeah, but you're so great with them.
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Thank you.
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I'm also great with horses.
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Something else you probably didn't know.
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TK, I just want us to have a chance to be us.
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There are so many things I still wanna do with you.
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I wanna hike the Great Wall with you.
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I wanna sleep in in Tuscany with you. I wanna...
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Babe, you don't even hike here, and you hate sleeping in.
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Yeah. We've still never been to New York together.
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Well, you know that they allow you to bring children into New York?
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I just don't think we're anywhere close to being ready
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for that level of responsibility.
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We've never even had a pet.
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Lou.
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- Lou? - Lou.
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Our pet lizard.
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The lizard that escaped five minutes
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after you brought it to the house
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and that we've released back into the wild?
140
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So you think I'm gonna make a terrible father.
141
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I never said that.
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Mm-hmm.
143
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But what I do think...
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is that you are going to make a fantastic husband.
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V8 engine designed in Modena
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with a Milanese leather interior.
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The seats are heated.
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And to answer your question,
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yes, the pastries are complimentary.
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Oh, it's awfully fancy, Mitch.
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I mean, do we need something so fancy?
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After what we've been through?
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The universe owes it to us.
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We were unhoused when an act of God destroyed our marital abode.
155
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Oh, no. Fire?
156
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Fire department, actually. We lost everything.
157
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Luckily, my uncle passed recently.
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Left us his duplex.
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Well, that's... good.
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And we have a little money put away.
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Almost half a million dollars.
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We started a GoFundMe after the tragedy
163
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to see how generous people can be to those in need.
164
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It restored our faith in humanity.
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Now we flush.
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So, what do you say?
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I don't know.
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- Let's get, uh, more of these. - I gotcha.
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I mean, people donated that money
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so we could afford a new home,
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but we have that now. Shouldn't we give it back?
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Lila, when people donate to a worthy cause,
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they do it so they feel good.
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Do you wanna take that feeling away from them?
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Well, no, but it just...
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feels so extravagant.
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See, that's what you call a poverty mindset,
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and you have to get over that.
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I know when you look in the mirror,
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you see a plebe from the trailer park.
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But you know what I see?
182
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What?
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A queen.
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A queen whose butt belongs
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on heated Milanese leather.
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That doesn't sound terrible.
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Yeah.
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You don't have to feel guilty
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about getting what you deserve, Lila.
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So what do you say?
191
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Oh... We'll take it!
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My heart is pumping outta my chest!
193
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- That's the V8. - Whoo-hoo!
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Oh, yes! Whoo!
195
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Whoo!
196
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Oh. Ohh! Hey!
197
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Mitch, Mitch. That guy is trying to race us.
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Let's do it.
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I-I don't know, hon.
200
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Oh, come on. Look at him. Come on. Come on.
201
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Come on!
202
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Speed up! Speed up!
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You're lettin' that trash bag pass us!
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Whoo! Don't think, just go, baby!
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- Whoo! - Woo-hoo-hoo!
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Four hundred and fifty horsepower!
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Suck it, plebe! Ha-ha!
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All hail the queen, bitch! Whoo!
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God, I love you.
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I love you too, king.
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Slow down, slow down!
212
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I'm trying!
213
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No!
214
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_
215
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_
216
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What happened?
217
00:09:27,933 --> 00:09:31,193
Well, them two nearly crashed their hot rod
218
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into my side dumper.
219
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Nearly crashed?
220
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Well, yeah, they stopped short,
221
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but I was in the middle of a dump.
222
00:09:36,758 --> 00:09:38,533
- Wait, all that's manure? - Yep.
223
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High-quality organic.
224
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They ain't hurt none, but they're, uh,
225
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kinda planted in there.
226
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Are you kidding me? Cap. Do you see who that is?
227
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Wait, why do they look familiar?
228
00:09:48,103 --> 00:09:50,270
They're that couple from that runaway house.
229
00:09:50,272 --> 00:09:51,862
Wait, the ones who filed the complaint against Marjan?
230
00:09:51,864 --> 00:09:53,773
- The same. - Oh, yeah.
231
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Mr. and Mrs. Geralds, as I live and... breathe.
232
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Oh, you've gotta be kidding me.
233
00:09:59,130 --> 00:10:01,056
- Are you hurt? - No, we're not hurt.
234
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We're just stuck.
235
00:10:03,151 --> 00:10:05,452
So stuck like, stuck, stuck can't move?
236
00:10:05,454 --> 00:10:08,121
Well, do you think we'd be sitting in here if we could move?
237
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I don't know you well enough to answer that question.
238
00:10:10,292 --> 00:10:12,717
Captain Vega, you wanna assess the medical injuries?
239
00:10:12,719 --> 00:10:14,552
Will do. TK, get a pulse ox.
240
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Copy that, Cap.
241
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Hey, can I get a ladder over here?
242
00:10:17,890 --> 00:10:19,816
Oh, God.
243
00:10:19,818 --> 00:10:21,818
Mitch, I swallowed some!
244
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Well try keeping your mouth shut, Lila!
245
00:10:27,751 --> 00:10:30,126
Hey, guys.
246
00:10:31,922 --> 00:10:33,255
Oh.
247
00:10:35,259 --> 00:10:37,500
- It's cold. - Satting at 96, Cap.
248
00:10:37,502 --> 00:10:38,917
Everything's alright.
249
00:10:38,942 --> 00:10:41,573
Alright. Stable for extraction.
250
00:10:41,598 --> 00:10:44,415
Captain Strand, they're all yours.
251
00:10:44,417 --> 00:10:45,892
Yeah.
252
00:10:48,497 --> 00:10:50,254
Huh.
253
00:10:50,256 --> 00:10:52,034
Hmm. Mm-mmm.
254
00:10:53,001 --> 00:10:55,668
What? What "hmm"?
255
00:10:55,670 --> 00:10:56,686
Why are you just standing there?
256
00:10:56,711 --> 00:10:57,767
I'm assessing.
257
00:10:57,792 --> 00:10:59,430
What is there to assess?
258
00:10:59,432 --> 00:11:00,673
Get us out of here!
259
00:11:00,675 --> 00:11:02,842
We don't wanna rush. Isn't that right, Marwani?
260
00:11:02,844 --> 00:11:04,602
Oh, that's right, Cap.
261
00:11:04,604 --> 00:11:05,620
There could be mistakes.
262
00:11:05,622 --> 00:11:06,657
Mistakes are bad.
263
00:11:06,682 --> 00:11:08,957
Oh, my God. Just pull us out.
264
00:11:08,959 --> 00:11:10,216
We could just pull you out.
265
00:11:10,218 --> 00:11:12,276
Isn't that right, Judd? We could pull 'em out.
266
00:11:12,278 --> 00:11:13,853
Well, I mean, we could pull 'em out,
267
00:11:13,855 --> 00:11:15,446
but we'd probably just pull their arms right off.
268
00:11:15,448 --> 00:11:16,477
- What? - Yeah.
269
00:11:16,502 --> 00:11:17,523
Cow manure weighs somewhere
270
00:11:17,548 --> 00:11:20,837
between 1,200 and 1,800 pounds per cubic yard,
271
00:11:20,862 --> 00:11:23,379
depending on how much, uh, fiber's in the cows' diet.
272
00:11:23,381 --> 00:11:25,122
I think this one had a lot.
273
00:11:25,792 --> 00:11:27,809
Alright, let's get some shovels in here.
274
00:11:27,811 --> 00:11:30,553
- Yes, Yes, shovels. Thank you. - Yes, yes, yes.
275
00:11:30,555 --> 00:11:32,038
H-How long is this gonna take?
276
00:11:32,040 --> 00:11:34,724
Oh, not long. Hour or two.
277
00:11:34,726 --> 00:11:38,486
No, I cannot breathe in this for another hour.
278
00:11:38,488 --> 00:11:39,970
Well, I suppose we could fit you
279
00:11:39,972 --> 00:11:41,806
with a full-face particle respirator.
280
00:11:41,808 --> 00:11:42,882
- Yes. - Gas mask.
281
00:11:42,884 --> 00:11:44,975
Yes. Yes, that, please.
282
00:11:44,977 --> 00:11:46,235
But if we're gonna go by the book,
283
00:11:46,237 --> 00:11:48,979
those are only deployed for medical reasons.
284
00:11:48,981 --> 00:11:51,407
Captain, can you see any medical reasons?
285
00:11:51,409 --> 00:11:54,371
Uh... no, not a one. Mm.
286
00:11:54,396 --> 00:11:57,080
Well, in that case, it falls to the sole discretion
287
00:11:57,082 --> 00:11:58,781
of the firefighter in charge of equipment.
288
00:11:58,783 --> 00:12:00,884
And who's that?
289
00:12:02,754 --> 00:12:04,420
- Oh. - Oh, no.
290
00:12:04,422 --> 00:12:05,755
What do you say, Marwani?
291
00:12:05,757 --> 00:12:07,574
Should we give 'em a break?
292
00:12:07,576 --> 00:12:08,908
Now, that depends.
293
00:12:08,910 --> 00:12:11,502
We promise whatever happens, we won't sue.
294
00:12:11,504 --> 00:12:12,929
That's good.
295
00:12:12,931 --> 00:12:14,856
But I am gonna need one more thing.
296
00:12:14,858 --> 00:12:18,193
Anything. Just get us out.
297
00:12:19,345 --> 00:12:20,695
Hey, guys, Firefox here.
298
00:12:20,697 --> 00:12:24,107
I ran into some friends at work today
299
00:12:24,109 --> 00:12:26,426
and they really, really wanna say "Hey."
300
00:12:26,870 --> 00:12:28,428
- Hey. - Aw.
301
00:12:28,430 --> 00:12:30,738
Let us help you to hear a little bit better.
302
00:12:30,740 --> 00:12:32,782
Oh, look at that. Go ahead, guys.
303
00:12:32,784 --> 00:12:34,951
I'm Lila Geralds.
304
00:12:35,212 --> 00:12:36,527
And I'm Mitch.
305
00:12:36,529 --> 00:12:39,319
And we'd like
306
00:12:39,343 --> 00:12:41,958
to give our heartfelt thanks
307
00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:46,112
to the brave heroes of the Austin Fire Department.
308
00:12:46,114 --> 00:12:48,329
- For bravely rescuing us. - Hey-oh!
309
00:12:48,354 --> 00:12:50,116
Oh, yeah. Rescuing you from...
310
00:12:50,118 --> 00:12:53,561
Another... crappy situation of our own making.
311
00:12:53,563 --> 00:12:57,954
Well, on behalf of the 126, we'd like to say
312
00:12:57,979 --> 00:12:59,672
you're welcome.
313
00:12:59,705 --> 00:13:00,977
Oh, and to any of you who, uh,
314
00:13:00,979 --> 00:13:04,981
contributed to the Geralds' GoFundMe page,
315
00:13:04,983 --> 00:13:07,316
I'd like you to know that 100 grand of that
316
00:13:07,318 --> 00:13:11,896
was spent on this car in that dung pile over there.
317
00:13:11,898 --> 00:13:12,993
Yeah.
318
00:13:13,018 --> 00:13:16,142
So on behalf of my followers...
319
00:13:17,812 --> 00:13:21,572
next time, why don't y'all go fund yourselves?
320
00:13:21,574 --> 00:13:22,674
Oh!
321
00:13:24,836 --> 00:13:27,487
Alright, well, then, let's stick with New England.
322
00:13:27,489 --> 00:13:30,156
Um... how about Rhode Island?
323
00:13:30,158 --> 00:13:32,438
- Providence. - Yes.
324
00:13:32,463 --> 00:13:33,843
Yeah, you're showing off a little bit for me.
325
00:13:33,845 --> 00:13:35,603
Alright, well, then give me New York.
326
00:13:35,605 --> 00:13:37,133
Easy. It's New York.
327
00:13:37,158 --> 00:13:38,940
No.
328
00:13:38,942 --> 00:13:40,850
No, that's a trick question.
329
00:13:40,852 --> 00:13:44,003
I know it feels like New York should be the capital of New York,
330
00:13:44,005 --> 00:13:45,258
but it is not.
331
00:13:45,283 --> 00:13:48,174
When are we ever going to need to know state capitals?
332
00:13:48,452 --> 00:13:49,934
All the time.
333
00:13:50,345 --> 00:13:51,453
Like when?
334
00:13:51,696 --> 00:13:54,438
Like for game shows.
335
00:13:54,440 --> 00:13:55,682
Laugh.
336
00:13:55,684 --> 00:13:58,851
When you miss out on a brand-new set of washer and dryers,
337
00:13:58,853 --> 00:14:02,613
well, just because you didn't know the capital of New York...
338
00:14:02,615 --> 00:14:04,023
Albany.
339
00:14:04,025 --> 00:14:05,541
Were you messin' with me?
340
00:14:05,543 --> 00:14:07,785
Were you playing a trick on mom right now?
341
00:14:07,787 --> 00:14:09,471
Don't worry, we got this, okay?
342
00:14:09,473 --> 00:14:10,587
We gotta go.
343
00:14:10,612 --> 00:14:11,841
I love you to the moon.
344
00:14:13,143 --> 00:14:16,571
I've been to Albany, and trust me,
345
00:14:16,596 --> 00:14:18,298
the capital really should be New York.
346
00:14:18,300 --> 00:14:20,891
Right? This is what I'm saying. They really need to fix that.
347
00:14:20,985 --> 00:14:22,721
I love how the girls mess with you now.
348
00:14:22,746 --> 00:14:25,291
It's the best. Just...
349
00:14:25,480 --> 00:14:28,307
I don't know, watching them turn into actual people.
350
00:14:28,332 --> 00:14:29,549
Yeah.
351
00:14:32,447 --> 00:14:33,888
Cap, can I ask you a question?
352
00:14:33,913 --> 00:14:35,330
Sure.
353
00:14:36,318 --> 00:14:37,908
Did you always wanna be a parent?
354
00:14:38,670 --> 00:14:41,321
Since my first Cabbage Patch doll.
355
00:14:41,323 --> 00:14:44,479
Love that. So it was a matter of when not if?
356
00:14:44,504 --> 00:14:45,669
Not exactly.
357
00:14:45,694 --> 00:14:48,263
It's like wanting to have kids is one thing,
358
00:14:48,288 --> 00:14:50,547
but... being able to have 'em,
359
00:14:50,682 --> 00:14:52,941
that turned out to be a whole other ball of wax.
360
00:14:52,943 --> 00:14:54,526
It wasn't easy?
361
00:14:55,112 --> 00:14:56,853
Fight of my life.
362
00:14:56,855 --> 00:14:57,994
Really?
363
00:14:58,673 --> 00:15:00,448
Well, we take for granted those things
364
00:15:00,450 --> 00:15:03,343
that-that we think will come easily,
365
00:15:03,345 --> 00:15:04,694
and-and then when they don't,
366
00:15:04,696 --> 00:15:07,288
it's, it's the hardest thing in the world.
367
00:15:08,272 --> 00:15:09,776
How'd you handle it?
368
00:15:09,801 --> 00:15:12,327
Not well. In the beginning it was, uh...
369
00:15:13,717 --> 00:15:15,166
I mean, I was angry.
370
00:15:15,632 --> 00:15:19,617
I was angry and depressed and bone-tired.
371
00:15:19,619 --> 00:15:22,720
And... truth be told, ready to quit.
372
00:15:23,241 --> 00:15:24,682
Why didn't you?
373
00:15:24,869 --> 00:15:26,110
Charles.
374
00:15:27,456 --> 00:15:31,866
Yeah. He-he convinced me that all this heartache and struggle
375
00:15:31,891 --> 00:15:33,458
was gonna be worth it.
376
00:15:33,483 --> 00:15:34,816
So I'd get back in the ring
377
00:15:34,818 --> 00:15:37,226
and start slugging it out all over again.
378
00:15:37,228 --> 00:15:38,778
Well, was he right?
379
00:15:39,250 --> 00:15:40,766
Was it worth the fight?
380
00:15:40,791 --> 00:15:42,383
What do you think?
381
00:15:45,645 --> 00:15:48,070
Come on, come on. Extend that right leg.
382
00:15:48,072 --> 00:15:50,373
Alright, come on, Marj, now you got this. Push. Push, push, push.
383
00:15:50,375 --> 00:15:52,149
All right? Push, push, push.
384
00:15:52,151 --> 00:15:53,354
Will you stop?
385
00:15:53,379 --> 00:15:54,938
I'm doing PT, I'm not giving birth.
386
00:15:54,963 --> 00:15:56,203
Uh, he's right, though.
387
00:15:56,228 --> 00:15:58,034
You need to get more extension in that leg.
388
00:15:58,059 --> 00:15:59,300
That's the only way you're gonna get
389
00:15:59,325 --> 00:16:00,566
all the strength in your hip flexor.
390
00:16:00,568 --> 00:16:01,659
- Mm-hmm. - I'm trying.
391
00:16:01,661 --> 00:16:03,994
Oh, come on. It's like my man Yoda says.
392
00:16:04,191 --> 00:16:06,025
"Ain't no try, only do."
393
00:16:06,183 --> 00:16:08,499
Yeah, well, Yoda never got shot in the gut.
394
00:16:08,501 --> 00:16:11,936
I need 20% more extension.
395
00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:17,083
Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you got it, Marj.
396
00:16:17,085 --> 00:16:18,860
You got it! Come on!
397
00:16:18,862 --> 00:16:19,944
Nice job. Release.
398
00:16:21,031 --> 00:16:23,364
Not bad, firefighter.
399
00:16:23,366 --> 00:16:25,338
Not bad?
400
00:16:25,363 --> 00:16:26,517
Mm-hmm.
401
00:16:26,519 --> 00:16:28,428
I just gave you full extension.
402
00:16:28,430 --> 00:16:30,688
Yeah, you did. I'm glad I didn't blink.
403
00:16:30,690 --> 00:16:33,783
Maybe next time you can hold it for longer than... two seconds?
404
00:16:34,478 --> 00:16:37,646
You really do just feed off my misery, don't you?
405
00:16:37,671 --> 00:16:38,987
I do.
406
00:16:39,012 --> 00:16:40,178
And it is delicious.
407
00:16:42,610 --> 00:16:44,777
Ooh. My 1:15 just showed.
408
00:16:44,802 --> 00:16:46,259
See you next week.
409
00:16:46,565 --> 00:16:47,731
See ya.
410
00:16:48,116 --> 00:16:49,224
Peace.
411
00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:56,231
What?
412
00:16:56,233 --> 00:16:58,291
Oh, you really gonna act like that didn't just happen?
413
00:16:58,293 --> 00:16:59,717
I don't know what you're talking about.
414
00:16:59,719 --> 00:17:02,219
I'm talking about you and trainer Joe
415
00:17:02,221 --> 00:17:03,387
flirting it up a storm over there.
416
00:17:03,389 --> 00:17:04,906
We were not flirting.
417
00:17:04,908 --> 00:17:08,243
Hmm. Okay, well, whatever that was, it was on and poppin'.
418
00:17:08,245 --> 00:17:09,268
Shut up.
419
00:17:14,307 --> 00:17:17,867
My Geralds' poopy picture just hit a million likes.
420
00:17:17,892 --> 00:17:19,584
Best week ever.
421
00:17:20,999 --> 00:17:22,548
Yeah, I bet.
422
00:17:26,929 --> 00:17:28,271
Oh, my God.
423
00:17:30,267 --> 00:17:31,657
What is it?
424
00:17:31,659 --> 00:17:35,770
Salim and his periodontist just had a baby.
425
00:17:43,429 --> 00:17:46,355
Eh. No offense, it's not even that cute.
426
00:17:46,357 --> 00:17:47,448
I mean, for a baby, I mean.
427
00:17:47,450 --> 00:17:49,284
Yeah, its head is kinda pointy.
428
00:17:49,286 --> 00:17:51,027
Like a Conehead.
429
00:17:51,029 --> 00:17:53,002
Thanks, guys. You're the best.
430
00:17:53,027 --> 00:17:55,270
- Ugly baby. - Is it, though?
431
00:17:55,717 --> 00:17:56,729
You know what? Give me this.
432
00:17:56,754 --> 00:17:57,936
- No. - No.
433
00:17:57,961 --> 00:17:59,535
First of all, you need to stop following Salim
434
00:17:59,537 --> 00:18:00,853
on socials, like, immediately.
435
00:18:00,855 --> 00:18:03,280
And second of all, you need to stop moping.
436
00:18:03,282 --> 00:18:04,540
I just got punched in the soul.
437
00:18:04,542 --> 00:18:06,450
Well, don't think of it as a punch in the soul.
438
00:18:06,452 --> 00:18:07,595
Think of it as a kick in the ass.
439
00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:09,211
And how's that supposed to help exactly?
440
00:18:09,213 --> 00:18:10,788
Well, maybe this is the universe's way
441
00:18:10,790 --> 00:18:12,289
of telling you that it's time to get back out there
442
00:18:12,291 --> 00:18:13,883
and start looking for Mr. Right
443
00:18:13,908 --> 00:18:15,810
instead of staring in the rear-view at Mr. Wrong.
444
00:18:15,812 --> 00:18:18,220
- He's got a good point, Marj. - I don't know.
445
00:18:18,222 --> 00:18:20,297
Look, I-I'm not ready to start dating.
446
00:18:20,299 --> 00:18:22,708
You and Salim broke up two years ago.
447
00:18:22,710 --> 00:18:24,152
You deserve a few sparks in your life.
448
00:18:24,154 --> 00:18:26,379
I literally put sparks out for a living.
449
00:18:26,381 --> 00:18:29,565
You know what? Even if I did wanna start dating,
450
00:18:29,567 --> 00:18:32,234
it's a-a whole thing for me.
451
00:18:32,236 --> 00:18:34,978
A thing that I've actually never done before.
452
00:18:34,980 --> 00:18:37,832
The guy has to be Muslim. I'd want there to be a chaperon.
453
00:18:37,834 --> 00:18:39,983
- There's just... - You mean like a babysitter?
454
00:18:39,985 --> 00:18:41,485
I mean, is that like, a rule or something?
455
00:18:41,504 --> 00:18:44,413
'Cause my buddy Amir goes out with chicks solo all the time.
456
00:18:44,415 --> 00:18:47,066
Though he could actually use a babysitter.
457
00:18:47,068 --> 00:18:49,326
- True. - So what are we talking about here,
458
00:18:49,328 --> 00:18:50,586
like a professional chaperon?
459
00:18:50,588 --> 00:18:53,348
No, like my father, uncle, cousin.
460
00:18:53,350 --> 00:18:55,332
- So family. - Exactly.
461
00:18:55,334 --> 00:18:56,834
And mine are all in Miami.
462
00:18:56,836 --> 00:18:59,503
So even if I was ready to put myself out there,
463
00:18:59,505 --> 00:19:00,547
I don't have any family here.
464
00:19:00,572 --> 00:19:02,357
That's a nice try, Marjan.
465
00:19:02,359 --> 00:19:04,417
You got a houseful of family right here.
466
00:19:04,419 --> 00:19:06,176
When the man's right, he is right.
467
00:19:06,178 --> 00:19:08,512
And he's right. So no excuses, Marjan.
468
00:19:08,514 --> 00:19:10,948
You want a chaperon, you got plenty.
469
00:19:11,304 --> 00:19:12,493
Fine!
470
00:19:12,518 --> 00:19:14,639
I'll get back on Ascent and update my profile.
471
00:19:14,664 --> 00:19:16,081
- Let's go, Marj. - Whoo!
472
00:19:16,106 --> 00:19:18,257
- Gettin' it goin'! - It's a start.
473
00:19:18,282 --> 00:19:19,599
- Okay? - What you mean a start?
474
00:19:19,601 --> 00:19:21,434
Well, one dating app ain't gonna cut it.
475
00:19:21,436 --> 00:19:22,442
You gotta be on three.
476
00:19:22,467 --> 00:19:23,694
- Hmm. - At least.
477
00:19:23,696 --> 00:19:26,606
I mean, you know, more pools, more fish.
478
00:19:26,608 --> 00:19:28,365
Why am I already regretting this?
479
00:19:28,885 --> 00:19:30,626
You're gonna have ups and you're gonna have downs.
480
00:19:30,628 --> 00:19:32,870
Never get too high and never get too low.
481
00:19:33,615 --> 00:19:36,206
Finding your prince usually means kissing a lot of frogs.
482
00:19:36,208 --> 00:19:38,928
You have to accept out of the gate that no matter what you do,
483
00:19:38,953 --> 00:19:40,453
some of these dates will be cringe.
484
00:19:40,455 --> 00:19:41,558
Great.
485
00:19:41,583 --> 00:19:43,046
Okay, we're gonna need a safety word.
486
00:19:43,048 --> 00:19:44,715
- A safety word? - Oh, no. He is right.
487
00:19:44,717 --> 00:19:46,049
It's brutal out there, Marjan.
488
00:19:46,051 --> 00:19:48,236
So the chaperons are gonna need like a code word to let us know
489
00:19:48,238 --> 00:19:49,779
when to pull the ripcord for you.
490
00:19:56,655 --> 00:19:57,655
Assalamu alaikum.
491
00:19:57,680 --> 00:19:59,322
Walaikum salam.
492
00:20:00,065 --> 00:20:03,976
So, Omar, uh, you like tea?
493
00:20:04,312 --> 00:20:06,587
- You're hot. - Wow.
494
00:20:06,589 --> 00:20:07,647
Thank you.
495
00:20:07,757 --> 00:20:11,317
No, I mean, you're sweating quite profusely.
496
00:20:11,319 --> 00:20:12,927
Oh, my God. I'm sorry.
497
00:20:12,929 --> 00:20:14,411
Uh, you know, I've never...
498
00:20:14,413 --> 00:20:16,489
I've never done one of these before.
499
00:20:16,491 --> 00:20:18,157
Like a date, I mean.
500
00:20:18,159 --> 00:20:20,584
I mean, I did with my fiancé. Ex... Ex-fiancé.
501
00:20:20,586 --> 00:20:23,179
Yeah, we'd known each other since we were 12.
502
00:20:23,181 --> 00:20:25,309
His name is Salim. He just had a baby.
503
00:20:25,381 --> 00:20:27,552
How many frogs did you have to kiss, babe?
504
00:20:27,835 --> 00:20:30,427
The point is that if Disney has taught us anything,
505
00:20:30,429 --> 00:20:32,505
it's that the prince that you're looking for
506
00:20:32,507 --> 00:20:34,674
is usually the last guy you'd expect.
507
00:20:34,676 --> 00:20:37,176
That's why you gotta insert at least one comfort nerd
508
00:20:37,178 --> 00:20:38,192
into the lineup, Marj.
509
00:20:38,217 --> 00:20:39,695
- A comfort nerd? - Yeah.
510
00:20:39,697 --> 00:20:42,457
You know, someone who's chill and will help take the ease off
511
00:20:42,459 --> 00:20:44,533
when it's time for, you know, date day.
512
00:20:44,535 --> 00:20:46,610
Oh, yeah? What does that guy look like?
513
00:20:46,612 --> 00:20:48,463
These are for you.
514
00:20:49,114 --> 00:20:51,040
Wow! Thanks.
515
00:20:51,042 --> 00:20:52,449
- They're beautiful. - Wow.
516
00:20:52,451 --> 00:20:54,802
- They're gorgeous. - Are they paper?
517
00:20:54,804 --> 00:20:56,971
I'm really into paper-based floral arrangements.
518
00:20:56,973 --> 00:21:00,457
Way more sustainable than ammonia-based fertilizers.
519
00:21:00,459 --> 00:21:02,551
Eco-friendly and thoughtful.
520
00:21:02,553 --> 00:21:04,537
Okay, well, what's the word?
521
00:21:04,539 --> 00:21:06,797
I've always liked the word "rutabaga."
522
00:21:06,799 --> 00:21:08,966
It's gonna be a little tricky to work that
523
00:21:08,968 --> 00:21:10,710
- into a conversation, Cap. - Maybe for you.
524
00:21:10,803 --> 00:21:14,213
Uh, okay, how about... How about, um, "popcorn"?
525
00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:16,215
Okay, I guess that works, too.
526
00:21:16,217 --> 00:21:17,383
Okay.
527
00:21:17,385 --> 00:21:18,901
Hassan, if you were to describe
528
00:21:18,903 --> 00:21:21,329
your occupation in one word, what would it be?
529
00:21:21,331 --> 00:21:22,755
- Entrepreneur. - Ah.
530
00:21:22,757 --> 00:21:26,075
Jake Bezos, you better look out, 'cause I'm coming.
531
00:21:26,077 --> 00:21:27,727
- Let's go, baby! - Yeah!
532
00:21:27,729 --> 00:21:29,578
What if I told you that there was a gym
533
00:21:29,580 --> 00:21:31,580
where next to every workout machine
534
00:21:31,582 --> 00:21:34,416
there was a selfie station and no shirts were ever required.
535
00:21:34,418 --> 00:21:36,344
- Sick! - Right?
536
00:21:36,346 --> 00:21:38,495
You gotta keep that concept under your hat, bro.
537
00:21:38,497 --> 00:21:40,163
I'm still out to VCs.
538
00:21:40,165 --> 00:21:41,907
It's like my teta used to say,
539
00:21:41,909 --> 00:21:43,909
"Flowers bloom, but are all gone too soon."
540
00:21:43,911 --> 00:21:45,411
Except these.
541
00:21:45,436 --> 00:21:46,485
Your teta?
542
00:21:46,510 --> 00:21:47,675
It means grandma.
543
00:21:47,700 --> 00:21:49,172
Yeah, I know. I'm Lebanese.
544
00:21:49,174 --> 00:21:50,583
- No way. - Yes way.
545
00:21:50,585 --> 00:21:52,026
What?
546
00:21:52,862 --> 00:21:56,422
So, uh, it says in your profile you're a tax attorney.
547
00:21:56,424 --> 00:21:58,181
- Is that right? - It's what I do.
548
00:21:58,183 --> 00:21:59,867
But it's not who I am.
549
00:22:00,278 --> 00:22:01,610
It's, it's not my passion.
550
00:22:01,612 --> 00:22:03,596
Oh. Well, what is your passion?
551
00:22:03,598 --> 00:22:05,403
I work in the International Dog Rescue Space.
552
00:22:05,428 --> 00:22:06,534
Wow.
553
00:22:06,559 --> 00:22:08,784
It's kinda dorky, but, uh, I love pretty much
554
00:22:08,786 --> 00:22:10,448
anything Harry Potter.
555
00:22:10,473 --> 00:22:12,713
I'm suspicious of all earthly passions, honestly.
556
00:22:12,715 --> 00:22:15,608
Right now, I'm obsessed with my delts.
557
00:22:15,610 --> 00:22:18,386
I crowdsource financing to arrange flights
558
00:22:18,388 --> 00:22:19,911
for dogs to get off the streets
559
00:22:19,913 --> 00:22:22,615
in countries all over the world and into loving homes.
560
00:22:22,617 --> 00:22:26,376
Uh, we fly dogs from Iran to Canada,
561
00:22:26,378 --> 00:22:28,563
Costa Rica, the US.
562
00:22:28,565 --> 00:22:30,380
The needs are, are endless.
563
00:22:30,382 --> 00:22:31,899
That's incredible.
564
00:22:31,901 --> 00:22:35,144
I know it sounds silly, but I think of them as my kids.
565
00:22:35,146 --> 00:22:37,463
Oh, no, that doesn't sound silly at all.
566
00:22:37,465 --> 00:22:41,075
And speaking of, how do you feel about kids?
567
00:22:41,077 --> 00:22:42,276
Like, how many?
568
00:22:42,278 --> 00:22:43,986
- Eight. - Eight?
569
00:22:43,988 --> 00:22:45,562
Yeah. Unless you want more.
570
00:22:45,564 --> 00:22:47,306
Well, you're no longer a spring chicken,
571
00:22:47,308 --> 00:22:49,475
we'd have to hurry, but, um,
572
00:22:49,477 --> 00:22:52,161
your build is strong, so...
573
00:22:52,163 --> 00:22:53,813
Do you think they serve popcorn?
574
00:22:53,815 --> 00:22:55,481
Oh, look at the time in here is somethin'...
575
00:22:55,483 --> 00:22:57,425
- Popcorn. - It's late.
576
00:22:57,427 --> 00:22:59,485
So, uh, how would you feel about me
577
00:22:59,487 --> 00:23:01,153
working after having children?
578
00:23:01,155 --> 00:23:03,246
Fine with it. As long as they root for Man United.
579
00:23:03,248 --> 00:23:05,542
Never! Arsenal or nothing.
580
00:23:05,567 --> 00:23:07,676
I'd be happy to be a stay-at-home dad.
581
00:23:07,678 --> 00:23:08,821
Do you, baby.
582
00:23:08,846 --> 00:23:11,180
Somebody's gotta fund the Hassan Dream. Hashtag life goals.
583
00:23:11,182 --> 00:23:14,257
You know, I'd really love some popcorn.
584
00:23:14,259 --> 00:23:16,091
In a tea house?
585
00:23:16,116 --> 00:23:17,169
Yeah.
586
00:23:17,171 --> 00:23:18,762
Why don't you go check, baby?
587
00:23:18,764 --> 00:23:19,947
Uh, okay.
588
00:23:19,949 --> 00:23:22,668
This is Dorothy.
589
00:23:22,693 --> 00:23:24,785
She lost her ears on the streets of Tehran.
590
00:23:24,787 --> 00:23:25,855
Aw.
591
00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:28,030
She chewed the ears off her toy
592
00:23:28,032 --> 00:23:29,097
so that they match.
593
00:23:29,122 --> 00:23:30,532
Isn't that amazing?
594
00:23:30,534 --> 00:23:33,324
Oh, that is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.
595
00:23:33,349 --> 00:23:36,434
I can't rest until I find her a forever home.
596
00:23:36,707 --> 00:23:37,934
Yeah.
597
00:23:38,042 --> 00:23:39,282
So what's your house?
598
00:23:39,284 --> 00:23:40,784
Oh, we work out of the 126.
599
00:23:40,786 --> 00:23:43,379
- Mm-hmm. - No, I mean your Hogwarts house.
600
00:23:43,381 --> 00:23:46,123
Like I'm Ravenclaw. I bet you are, too.
601
00:23:46,125 --> 00:23:47,677
Or Slytherin.
602
00:23:47,702 --> 00:23:49,477
Oh, my God. Please don't tell me you're a Hufflepuff.
603
00:23:49,479 --> 00:23:52,480
I'm not really into the whole Harry Potter thing.
604
00:23:52,482 --> 00:23:53,723
I don't...
605
00:23:53,966 --> 00:23:56,800
You know what? I don't think this is gonna work.
606
00:23:56,802 --> 00:23:58,075
Huh.
607
00:24:00,214 --> 00:24:01,547
Well, that was an experience.
608
00:24:01,549 --> 00:24:03,324
I always go full throttle.
609
00:24:03,326 --> 00:24:05,401
Hey, make sure to follow me on Instagram.
610
00:24:05,403 --> 00:24:07,477
I've been trying to boost that profile.
611
00:24:07,479 --> 00:24:08,979
Would appreciate it.
612
00:24:08,981 --> 00:24:10,147
Text me, bro.
613
00:24:10,149 --> 00:24:12,149
My man. I like the goofy kid.
614
00:24:12,151 --> 00:24:13,209
Hmm.
615
00:24:14,319 --> 00:24:16,578
Marjan. Captain Strand.
616
00:24:16,580 --> 00:24:19,340
- This has been such a pleasure. - Likewise.
617
00:24:19,342 --> 00:24:21,417
But I should probably be going.
618
00:24:21,419 --> 00:24:23,493
Dorothy starts tearing up the furniture
619
00:24:23,495 --> 00:24:25,179
if I'm, uh, late for dinner time.
620
00:24:25,181 --> 00:24:27,164
So, we should do this again.
621
00:24:27,166 --> 00:24:28,265
I'd love that.
622
00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:34,605
- Bye. - Bye.
623
00:24:41,847 --> 00:24:44,365
I think we just found a winner!
624
00:24:44,367 --> 00:24:45,941
I think we just found an angel.
625
00:24:45,943 --> 00:24:47,927
Yeah.
626
00:24:47,929 --> 00:24:49,458
Oh.
627
00:24:54,101 --> 00:24:56,285
Oh, man, look, literally anybody
628
00:24:56,287 --> 00:24:57,378
can get ordained to marry you guys.
629
00:24:57,380 --> 00:24:58,488
- Yeah? - Mm-hmm.
630
00:24:58,513 --> 00:24:59,519
And what's that entail?
631
00:24:59,544 --> 00:25:00,588
It's easy, man.
632
00:25:00,613 --> 00:25:01,963
I did it online.
633
00:25:02,944 --> 00:25:04,218
What's up, Marj?
634
00:25:04,220 --> 00:25:05,238
Hey, are you getting full bars?
635
00:25:05,263 --> 00:25:07,296
'Cause I don't think I'm... I don't think I'm getting full bars.
636
00:25:07,298 --> 00:25:08,872
- Yeah. - Yeah, me, too.
637
00:25:08,874 --> 00:25:11,225
- Oh... - Wait, Paul, you're ordained?
638
00:25:11,227 --> 00:25:12,618
Yeah, I married my cousin in Chicago
639
00:25:12,620 --> 00:25:14,377
- a couple of years back. - Huh.
640
00:25:14,379 --> 00:25:15,730
What up? What up?
641
00:25:15,732 --> 00:25:18,290
- Hey, yo. - How we doin', family?
642
00:25:18,292 --> 00:25:21,384
What's up? We doin' good. Except for Marj, who has no bars.
643
00:25:21,386 --> 00:25:23,963
Actually, I do have bars, so, yeah.
644
00:25:23,965 --> 00:25:25,464
Girl, what is wrong?
645
00:25:25,466 --> 00:25:27,074
It's that Fauza guy.
646
00:25:27,076 --> 00:25:30,077
Is that the dog rescue guy or the young Omar Sharif-looking guy?
647
00:25:30,079 --> 00:25:31,912
It's the same guy.
648
00:25:31,914 --> 00:25:33,138
We really hit it off.
649
00:25:33,732 --> 00:25:36,308
You know, the date literally ended with him saying,
650
00:25:36,310 --> 00:25:38,660
"We should do this again," and now nothing.
651
00:25:38,685 --> 00:25:40,760
Not a call or a single text.
652
00:25:40,762 --> 00:25:43,096
Hmm. What were his exact words?
653
00:25:43,098 --> 00:25:46,041
Do this again or do this again sometime?
654
00:25:46,043 --> 00:25:48,101
I don't know. Does it make a difference?
655
00:25:48,103 --> 00:25:49,786
- Hell, yeah. - Oh, it makes a big difference, Marj.
656
00:25:49,788 --> 00:25:52,863
That "sometime" qualifier takes it from the concrete to the vague.
657
00:25:52,865 --> 00:25:54,441
Yup. Nuance matters.
658
00:25:54,443 --> 00:25:56,960
Well, nobody told me I should be taking notes.
659
00:25:57,554 --> 00:25:59,221
You know what? I hate this already.
660
00:25:59,223 --> 00:26:01,389
Just means you're doing it right.
661
00:26:02,563 --> 00:26:04,546
Baby, who is blowing up your phone?
662
00:26:04,619 --> 00:26:05,969
Oh, it's Hassan.
663
00:26:05,971 --> 00:26:08,546
Uh, he invited me to his streetwear pop-up downtown later.
664
00:26:08,548 --> 00:26:09,833
Hassan?
665
00:26:09,858 --> 00:26:12,041
Wait, so you're getting a second date before I am?
666
00:26:12,066 --> 00:26:13,437
That's great.
667
00:26:13,462 --> 00:26:15,128
You know what? I'm just gonna bite the bullet
668
00:26:15,130 --> 00:26:17,221
and I'm going to text Fauza and see if he's interested.
669
00:26:17,223 --> 00:26:18,648
- No, no, no, no! - What's wrong with you?
670
00:26:18,650 --> 00:26:20,075
- Don't-don't do that. - Why not?
671
00:26:20,077 --> 00:26:23,136
Because if you text him first, you're gonna look thirsty.
672
00:26:23,138 --> 00:26:25,896
- Mm-hmm. - So it's okay for him to text me first,
673
00:26:25,898 --> 00:26:27,640
but not the other way around?
674
00:26:27,642 --> 00:26:28,733
- Yes. - Why?
675
00:26:28,735 --> 00:26:29,993
The patriarchy.
676
00:26:29,995 --> 00:26:31,753
Just wait it out for a second, alright?
677
00:26:31,755 --> 00:26:34,286
Maybe he's just trying to play it cool or something.
678
00:26:34,311 --> 00:26:35,473
For what?
679
00:26:35,498 --> 00:26:37,832
So that he can amp up my neediness and anxiety
680
00:26:37,928 --> 00:26:41,154
only to relieve it in a rush with one single text?
681
00:26:41,156 --> 00:26:43,006
You sure you've never dated before?
682
00:26:43,008 --> 00:26:44,266
You know what?
683
00:26:44,268 --> 00:26:47,327
I am not gonna fall for this manipulative crap.
684
00:26:47,329 --> 00:26:48,770
I'm officially putting away my phone.
685
00:26:48,772 --> 00:26:50,397
Okay?
686
00:26:53,593 --> 00:26:54,793
It, it's him.
687
00:26:54,795 --> 00:26:56,260
He text me.
688
00:26:56,262 --> 00:26:57,428
He text me.
689
00:26:57,856 --> 00:27:00,189
You're such a dork.
690
00:27:00,191 --> 00:27:02,675
Oh... She is in it now.
691
00:27:02,677 --> 00:27:04,411
Oh, yeah, she is really in it now.
692
00:27:18,302 --> 00:27:21,011
This is Yasir. Leave a message.
693
00:27:36,728 --> 00:27:38,194
Oh, Yasir.
694
00:27:42,659 --> 00:27:44,384
Whoo!
695
00:27:44,386 --> 00:27:46,477
Seriously? Pigs!
696
00:27:46,479 --> 00:27:47,833
Oh!
697
00:27:58,583 --> 00:27:59,716
Hi.
698
00:28:00,275 --> 00:28:01,333
Checking in?
699
00:28:01,358 --> 00:28:03,822
Not exactly. My husband already checked in.
700
00:28:03,847 --> 00:28:05,013
His name is Yasir Karim.
701
00:28:05,015 --> 00:28:06,639
Could you just tell me which room he's in?
702
00:28:06,664 --> 00:28:08,480
- It's K-A-R-I-M. - Sorry.
703
00:28:08,505 --> 00:28:10,597
I'm not at liberty to give out that information.
704
00:28:10,630 --> 00:28:11,813
Hotel policy.
705
00:28:11,838 --> 00:28:13,521
I'm his wife, Fara Karim.
706
00:28:13,523 --> 00:28:14,856
I have ID, if that helps.
707
00:28:14,858 --> 00:28:16,340
It doesn't, actually.
708
00:28:16,342 --> 00:28:18,693
I'm not allowed to give out any personal information
709
00:28:18,695 --> 00:28:20,028
about our guests.
710
00:28:20,030 --> 00:28:21,196
Hotel policy.
711
00:28:21,221 --> 00:28:23,733
I'm not asking for his Social Security number.
712
00:28:23,758 --> 00:28:25,925
His car is out in front. I know he's here.
713
00:28:25,927 --> 00:28:27,472
Well, then maybe you should try calling him
714
00:28:27,497 --> 00:28:29,122
and asking him what room he's in.
715
00:28:29,147 --> 00:28:31,448
I've been trying to call him.
716
00:28:32,358 --> 00:28:33,375
Jeez.
717
00:28:34,378 --> 00:28:35,526
He's not answering.
718
00:28:35,528 --> 00:28:37,862
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
719
00:28:37,864 --> 00:28:40,273
I'm... seven months pregnant.
720
00:28:40,275 --> 00:28:41,626
Okay, um...
721
00:28:42,794 --> 00:28:46,036
Okay, look, I know he's here with another woman.
722
00:28:46,038 --> 00:28:47,555
I just need to speak to him.
723
00:28:47,557 --> 00:28:50,642
You know, like I'm asking you as a human being to another human being.
724
00:28:50,716 --> 00:28:51,893
Please.
725
00:28:51,895 --> 00:28:54,062
And again, I'm gonna have to
726
00:28:54,087 --> 00:28:56,646
remind you of our hotel policy.
727
00:28:57,067 --> 00:29:00,643
I don't care about your stupid hotel policy.
728
00:29:00,645 --> 00:29:02,904
The hell with you and your hotel policy.
729
00:29:02,906 --> 00:29:04,797
I will bang on every door in this hotel if I have to.
730
00:29:04,799 --> 00:29:06,466
Ma'am.
731
00:29:06,468 --> 00:29:07,650
This really isn't a hotel.
732
00:29:07,986 --> 00:29:10,728
It's what you call a no-tell motel.
733
00:29:10,730 --> 00:29:13,063
So I'm not gonna tell.
734
00:29:13,065 --> 00:29:14,824
Believe me, you're not the first wife
735
00:29:14,826 --> 00:29:17,143
who's come in here trying to catch her cheating husband.
736
00:29:17,145 --> 00:29:19,328
Not even this week, honey.
737
00:29:19,330 --> 00:29:20,647
Okay?
738
00:29:20,649 --> 00:29:23,166
Now I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
739
00:29:23,501 --> 00:29:24,909
You cannot treat people this way.
740
00:29:24,911 --> 00:29:27,170
Well, you're more than welcome
741
00:29:27,172 --> 00:29:29,172
to fill out a comment card on your way out.
742
00:29:29,174 --> 00:29:30,298
Comment card.
743
00:29:30,434 --> 00:29:32,392
Now, just go before I call the cops.
744
00:29:35,588 --> 00:29:36,679
Thank you.
745
00:29:36,681 --> 00:29:38,106
You're welcome.
746
00:29:40,426 --> 00:29:41,759
Comment...
747
00:30:30,902 --> 00:30:33,328
Is this against hotel policy?!
748
00:30:39,244 --> 00:30:40,690
Whoo!
749
00:30:44,399 --> 00:30:46,065
Whoo!
750
00:30:58,480 --> 00:30:59,750
_
751
00:30:59,775 --> 00:31:01,753
_
752
00:31:11,776 --> 00:31:13,017
What the hell happened here?
753
00:31:13,019 --> 00:31:14,761
Apparently, a woman had a heated dispute
754
00:31:14,763 --> 00:31:15,945
with the desk clerk there.
755
00:31:15,947 --> 00:31:17,930
Then went on a rampage
756
00:31:17,932 --> 00:31:20,524
with this skid steer she stole from that construction site.
757
00:31:20,526 --> 00:31:21,853
Any idea what set her off?
758
00:31:21,878 --> 00:31:23,436
According to the clerk, she's seven months pregnant
759
00:31:23,438 --> 00:31:26,345
and her husband's somewhere in the motel with another woman.
760
00:31:26,370 --> 00:31:27,865
- Well, that'll do it. - Yeah.
761
00:31:27,867 --> 00:31:29,458
Any idea where she is?
762
00:31:29,460 --> 00:31:31,052
The-the victim, not the mistress.
763
00:31:31,054 --> 00:31:32,962
Yeah, trapped under that pile there.
764
00:31:32,964 --> 00:31:35,285
And she's seven months pregnant? Do we know if she's injured?
765
00:31:35,310 --> 00:31:36,417
She's talking, says she's fine,
766
00:31:36,442 --> 00:31:38,850
but we haven't been able to get to her to confirm.
767
00:31:38,895 --> 00:31:40,562
Alright, Captain Vega, stand by.
768
00:31:40,564 --> 00:31:42,288
We gotta secure this area.
769
00:31:42,290 --> 00:31:43,639
Alright, 126.
770
00:31:43,641 --> 00:31:45,549
Strickland, Ricardo, cribbing and struts.
771
00:31:45,551 --> 00:31:48,127
Gallagher, Chavez, Marwani, you're on extraction.
772
00:31:48,129 --> 00:31:49,796
- Get out our victim/suspect. - Yep.
773
00:31:49,798 --> 00:31:52,907
Let's try to get this thing done before the whole thing comes down.
774
00:31:54,135 --> 00:31:56,302
Hey, guys, the strut, it's all set over here.
775
00:31:56,304 --> 00:31:57,804
Alright.
776
00:31:59,974 --> 00:32:01,657
I-I'll push, you pry on three.
777
00:32:01,659 --> 00:32:03,626
Okay, one, two, three.
778
00:32:07,665 --> 00:32:09,365
Get this out of your way.
779
00:32:10,576 --> 00:32:11,811
Hey, ma'am, are you hurt?
780
00:32:11,836 --> 00:32:13,410
I don't think so, no.
781
00:32:13,412 --> 00:32:14,745
You got the door?
782
00:32:14,747 --> 00:32:15,976
Alright. How's the baby?
783
00:32:16,001 --> 00:32:17,098
She's kicking, but that's not new.
784
00:32:17,100 --> 00:32:18,991
Okay, take my hand and we're gonna
785
00:32:18,993 --> 00:32:20,159
get you out of here, alright?
786
00:32:20,161 --> 00:32:22,610
No, I'm gonna stay here. You leave me.
787
00:32:22,635 --> 00:32:24,876
That's not an option. This whole cage could collapse
788
00:32:24,878 --> 00:32:27,063
and crush you and your baby any second now.
789
00:32:27,065 --> 00:32:29,123
Everything is already crushed.
790
00:32:29,125 --> 00:32:30,257
What's the difference?
791
00:32:30,259 --> 00:32:32,068
I've lost everything.
792
00:32:32,070 --> 00:32:33,885
That's not true. You still have your baby.
793
00:32:33,887 --> 00:32:34,930
You will have each other.
794
00:32:34,955 --> 00:32:36,630
No, I won't. I'm gonna be in prison.
795
00:32:36,632 --> 00:32:39,617
And the cheating cheater's gonna get custody.
796
00:32:41,290 --> 00:32:43,232
No judge is gonna throw the book at a pregnant woman
797
00:32:43,257 --> 00:32:44,924
who is fighting for her family.
798
00:32:44,949 --> 00:32:47,000
- Not even in Texas. - Especially not in Texas.
799
00:32:47,025 --> 00:32:49,970
So take my hand and let us show your baby girl
800
00:32:49,995 --> 00:32:51,712
how strong her mom is.
801
00:32:53,656 --> 00:32:55,401
Okay. Okay.
802
00:32:55,426 --> 00:32:57,242
- Here, take this. - I got it.
803
00:32:57,244 --> 00:32:59,578
Okay.
804
00:32:59,580 --> 00:33:01,155
You're doing great. Come on.
805
00:33:01,157 --> 00:33:03,190
I'm sorry.
806
00:33:03,192 --> 00:33:04,508
You're okay. Come on.
807
00:33:04,510 --> 00:33:06,644
- She's coming out, Cap. - That's right.
808
00:33:16,430 --> 00:33:18,339
Her BP and vitals are good.
809
00:33:18,341 --> 00:33:20,098
TK, what's the fetal monitor saying?
810
00:33:20,100 --> 00:33:22,087
Baby's heartbeat is at 199, Cap.
811
00:33:22,112 --> 00:33:23,193
Is that bad?
812
00:33:23,195 --> 00:33:25,846
It is a little fast, but that's also expected
813
00:33:25,871 --> 00:33:28,354
given the adventure that the two of you have been on.
814
00:33:28,379 --> 00:33:30,619
Uh, West Park will take a look at you, but I'm not concerned.
815
00:33:30,644 --> 00:33:31,717
Thank you.
816
00:33:32,272 --> 00:33:34,273
Thank you for talking some sense to me.
817
00:33:34,298 --> 00:33:36,690
- How's she doin'? - She's good.
818
00:33:37,135 --> 00:33:38,525
This officer needs to talk to you.
819
00:33:38,527 --> 00:33:40,469
Oh, I'm being arrested, huh?
820
00:33:40,471 --> 00:33:41,544
Afraid so.
821
00:33:41,569 --> 00:33:43,068
You don't have to handcuff her, do you?
822
00:33:43,457 --> 00:33:46,383
I think we can skip that part, but I do have to read you your rights.
823
00:33:46,385 --> 00:33:48,235
Yes, fine. I understand.
824
00:33:48,237 --> 00:33:49,282
I pu...
825
00:33:50,964 --> 00:33:52,964
Yasir, you rat bastard!
826
00:33:55,015 --> 00:33:56,354
- Fara? - God's gonna get you for this
827
00:33:56,379 --> 00:33:57,658
and so is my mother!
828
00:33:57,683 --> 00:33:58,925
- Is that... - Yeah.
829
00:33:58,950 --> 00:34:00,024
Yes, it is.
830
00:34:00,049 --> 00:34:02,716
Uh, Fauza, what the hell, dude?
831
00:34:02,718 --> 00:34:03,845
Marjan?
832
00:34:04,220 --> 00:34:05,995
Wait. You know her? You know him?
833
00:34:05,997 --> 00:34:09,331
Uh, not as Yasir, but, yeah, Fauza.
834
00:34:09,333 --> 00:34:10,815
Fa... that's his brother's name.
835
00:34:10,817 --> 00:34:12,226
Does he have a twin?
836
00:34:12,228 --> 00:34:15,062
Uh, no. Oh, you're gonna hear it from my lawyers
837
00:34:15,064 --> 00:34:16,130
and all my uncles!
838
00:34:16,837 --> 00:34:18,174
Please take me away, sir.
839
00:34:18,176 --> 00:34:20,401
Um, no, you're gonna go with them.
840
00:34:20,403 --> 00:34:22,142
I'll, I'll meet you in the hospital.
841
00:34:22,459 --> 00:34:23,959
Well, let's, um...
842
00:34:24,963 --> 00:34:27,326
You can forget about Saturday night, too.
843
00:34:27,351 --> 00:34:29,518
This is so disappointing.
844
00:34:30,378 --> 00:34:31,444
You...
845
00:34:32,668 --> 00:34:34,251
are a disappointment.
846
00:34:40,198 --> 00:34:42,272
TK! What a nice surprise.
847
00:34:42,274 --> 00:34:43,439
Hey, is this a bad time?
848
00:34:43,464 --> 00:34:44,517
No, no, no. Not at all.
849
00:34:44,542 --> 00:34:46,133
I know I should have called, but...
850
00:34:46,278 --> 00:34:47,828
Do I smell fried chicken?
851
00:34:48,345 --> 00:34:49,488
Maybe.
852
00:34:49,490 --> 00:34:51,281
Dad, are you crushing
853
00:34:51,283 --> 00:34:53,367
an entire bucket of chicken by yourself?
854
00:34:53,860 --> 00:34:55,269
Chicken buckets.
855
00:34:55,271 --> 00:34:56,408
Rough day?
856
00:34:56,433 --> 00:34:57,581
Oh, it's Fauza.
857
00:34:57,606 --> 00:34:59,440
- What a disappointment. - Yeah.
858
00:34:59,442 --> 00:35:03,110
It's weird when they drop the preexisting spouse bomb on you.
859
00:35:03,112 --> 00:35:04,220
Oh, that's right.
860
00:35:04,222 --> 00:35:06,037
Well, at least Carlos divorced his.
861
00:35:06,039 --> 00:35:07,448
Annulled, but, yes.
862
00:35:07,450 --> 00:35:09,374
And that was never a question for us.
863
00:35:09,376 --> 00:35:11,209
Now, the kids question.
864
00:35:11,211 --> 00:35:12,619
Whoa, wait a minute. He has a kid?
865
00:35:12,621 --> 00:35:15,231
- No, he-he doesn't have a kid. - Oh.
866
00:35:15,233 --> 00:35:18,642
I just found out that he never wants to.
867
00:35:19,295 --> 00:35:21,144
Sounds like you could use some chicken.
868
00:35:29,321 --> 00:35:31,330
- How's this so good? - Mm. Right?
869
00:35:32,232 --> 00:35:33,499
You know what scares me, Dad?
870
00:35:34,252 --> 00:35:36,810
Is what it says about us, that we've never even discussed it.
871
00:35:36,903 --> 00:35:39,997
It says to me you avoided the conversation on purpose.
872
00:35:39,999 --> 00:35:41,090
Avoided?
873
00:35:41,092 --> 00:35:42,483
I don't avoid.
874
00:35:42,485 --> 00:35:45,986
I think you didn't ask TK about kids
875
00:35:46,489 --> 00:35:49,323
because you knew what his answer would be.
876
00:35:49,325 --> 00:35:50,766
We're in such a good place.
877
00:35:50,791 --> 00:35:53,160
Also, we've been really busy lately.
878
00:35:53,162 --> 00:35:55,012
For three years, Carlitos?
879
00:35:55,014 --> 00:35:56,163
Por favor.
880
00:35:56,181 --> 00:35:58,089
You're gonna have to do better than that.
881
00:35:58,091 --> 00:35:59,867
People get busy. That's the thing.
882
00:35:59,892 --> 00:36:02,611
Yeah, but not too busy to have a conversation so foundational.
883
00:36:02,613 --> 00:36:04,354
And that's not what healthy couples do.
884
00:36:04,356 --> 00:36:06,282
You know, your mother and I never discussed
885
00:36:06,284 --> 00:36:07,599
what religion you were gonna be
886
00:36:07,601 --> 00:36:10,619
until I overheard her scheduling your bris in the delivery room.
887
00:36:11,289 --> 00:36:14,681
Needless to say, a very animated conversation ensued.
888
00:36:14,683 --> 00:36:16,625
You don't think it's because I'm an addict?
889
00:36:16,627 --> 00:36:18,086
He's worried that I'll relapse?
890
00:36:18,111 --> 00:36:19,836
Maybe that's what's really bothering you.
891
00:36:19,861 --> 00:36:23,206
No. I believe in TK's recovery with my whole heart.
892
00:36:23,208 --> 00:36:24,800
Is that what he said the reason was?
893
00:36:24,802 --> 00:36:28,745
No. He said it's because he wants us to travel the world.
894
00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:33,958
What? I've only left the state, like, twice in my life.
895
00:36:34,553 --> 00:36:37,848
And we had to take you kicking and screaming both times.
896
00:36:37,873 --> 00:36:42,484
You got homesick after a weekend in Branson.
897
00:36:44,155 --> 00:36:45,487
Ay, mi amor.
898
00:36:45,489 --> 00:36:47,898
Why don't you tell me what's really bothering you?
899
00:36:48,901 --> 00:36:51,885
Honestly, I don't feel comfortable saying it out loud.
900
00:36:51,887 --> 00:36:53,645
Is it that you're worried
901
00:36:53,647 --> 00:36:55,647
that the child's not gonna have a mother in their life?
902
00:36:55,649 --> 00:36:59,226
Because I'm here for you, and so are your sisters.
903
00:36:59,228 --> 00:37:00,535
I know you are.
904
00:37:00,537 --> 00:37:03,822
I'm not worried about who the mother will be.
905
00:37:03,824 --> 00:37:05,883
I'm worried about who's going to be the father.
906
00:37:07,252 --> 00:37:09,160
And I don't mean TK.
907
00:37:09,162 --> 00:37:10,754
- I blame you. - Me?
908
00:37:10,756 --> 00:37:14,350
Yeah, because I have such a great father/son situation here,
909
00:37:14,352 --> 00:37:16,352
I wanted to, you know, pay it forward.
910
00:37:16,354 --> 00:37:19,188
TK and Owen have always had such a special relationship
911
00:37:19,190 --> 00:37:20,522
from the time he was little.
912
00:37:20,524 --> 00:37:23,859
I didn't start one with my dad until two years ago.
913
00:37:23,861 --> 00:37:25,143
That is not true.
914
00:37:25,145 --> 00:37:26,770
I'm afraid I won't measure up.
915
00:37:26,772 --> 00:37:28,680
But I also don't wanna push him into something
916
00:37:28,682 --> 00:37:30,086
that he doesn't want.
917
00:37:30,111 --> 00:37:32,350
Does that make me compassionate or selfish?
918
00:37:32,352 --> 00:37:34,595
I can't answer that, but what I can tell you
919
00:37:34,597 --> 00:37:38,022
is almost every time I put your mother's needs before mine,
920
00:37:38,024 --> 00:37:39,208
I ended up being happier
921
00:37:39,210 --> 00:37:41,210
than if I'd gotten what I thought I wanted.
922
00:37:41,212 --> 00:37:42,953
So you're saying I should give up the dream?
923
00:37:42,955 --> 00:37:45,214
No.
924
00:37:45,216 --> 00:37:47,532
What I'm saying is that you have to be considerate
925
00:37:47,534 --> 00:37:50,444
for his feelings just as much as your own.
926
00:37:50,446 --> 00:37:52,471
And whatever you decide...
927
00:37:53,449 --> 00:37:55,115
you have to be honest with him.
928
00:37:55,117 --> 00:37:56,450
And take what the universe gives you.
929
00:37:56,452 --> 00:37:59,228
Because no matter what happens, mijo,
930
00:37:59,230 --> 00:38:01,045
the most important thing...
931
00:38:01,047 --> 00:38:03,306
Is that TK's by my side.
932
00:38:03,959 --> 00:38:05,609
'cause Carlos is my person.
933
00:38:12,830 --> 00:38:15,906
Okay. I got grape leaves, I got rice, and I got garlic.
934
00:38:15,931 --> 00:38:20,231
You get the mint. I'm gonna get the Aleppo pepper.
935
00:38:20,233 --> 00:38:23,644
Right. And we need snoubar.
936
00:38:23,979 --> 00:38:25,403
Snoubar? What is snoubar?
937
00:38:25,405 --> 00:38:27,071
Probably under pine nuts.
938
00:38:27,073 --> 00:38:28,690
Oh, no, Asha's allergic to nuts.
939
00:38:28,715 --> 00:38:30,065
Is it gonna ruin it if we don't use it?
940
00:38:30,090 --> 00:38:31,447
No, it's all good.
941
00:38:32,412 --> 00:38:34,913
Actually, you know, I-I wanted to say thank you.
942
00:38:34,915 --> 00:38:37,582
Um, I appreciate you guys inviting me over for dinner.
943
00:38:37,584 --> 00:38:39,493
But, you know, if you wanna spend the night alone
944
00:38:39,495 --> 00:38:41,103
as a couple, I totally get it.
945
00:38:41,105 --> 00:38:42,587
I don't wanna be a third wheel.
946
00:38:42,589 --> 00:38:44,606
Marjan, we are not inviting you. You're helping me cook.
947
00:38:44,608 --> 00:38:46,500
How else am I supposed to make a
948
00:38:46,502 --> 00:38:48,777
authentic Lebanese mezze by myself?
949
00:38:48,779 --> 00:38:50,837
Yeah, that would be a disaster.
950
00:38:50,839 --> 00:38:52,409
Okay, we need eggplant for baba ghanoush.
951
00:38:52,433 --> 00:38:53,484
Yes.
952
00:38:53,509 --> 00:38:54,578
Oh!
953
00:38:54,603 --> 00:38:56,009
- Oh. Trainer Joe. - Hey, you two!
954
00:38:56,011 --> 00:38:57,344
Hey.
955
00:38:57,346 --> 00:38:59,012
What are you, what are you doing here...
956
00:38:59,014 --> 00:39:00,430
in a halal market?
957
00:39:00,455 --> 00:39:04,184
Well, I only eat halal meat, and I felt like a porterhouse.
958
00:39:04,186 --> 00:39:05,352
You're Muslim?
959
00:39:05,354 --> 00:39:07,037
Is that really such a shock?
960
00:39:07,039 --> 00:39:08,780
Yeah, kinda, you know.
961
00:39:09,541 --> 00:39:11,550
Because I'm Black and my name is Joe?
962
00:39:12,803 --> 00:39:14,911
I was only messing with you because I am Black
963
00:39:14,913 --> 00:39:15,992
but my name is actually Yusuf.
964
00:39:16,017 --> 00:39:17,197
Right.
965
00:39:17,199 --> 00:39:19,216
Okay, well, how come you never mentioned that
966
00:39:19,218 --> 00:39:20,550
in any of our sessions?
967
00:39:20,552 --> 00:39:23,553
Why would I? I don't bring my personal life to work.
968
00:39:24,389 --> 00:39:26,056
- Yeah, I respect that. Yeah. - Yeah.
969
00:39:26,058 --> 00:39:27,224
Assalamu alaikum.
970
00:39:27,226 --> 00:39:28,650
Walaikum salam.
971
00:39:35,050 --> 00:39:37,734
Alright. It was, uh, it was nice running into you, Joe. Yusuf.
972
00:39:37,736 --> 00:39:40,537
Uh, you, too. I'll see you Thursday.
973
00:39:41,223 --> 00:39:43,458
Actually, uh...
974
00:39:43,483 --> 00:39:45,375
maybe you wanna see me tonight?
975
00:39:45,377 --> 00:39:48,838
I'm-I'm going to this guy's house with his girlfriend for dinner,
976
00:39:48,863 --> 00:39:51,214
and I could really use a fourth wheel.
977
00:39:52,084 --> 00:39:53,583
I don't know.
978
00:39:54,253 --> 00:39:55,569
Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
979
00:39:55,571 --> 00:39:56,995
I'm sorry. Forget I even asked.
980
00:39:56,997 --> 00:39:58,238
I was gonna say, I don't know
981
00:39:58,240 --> 00:40:00,590
if one porterhouse would be enough.
982
00:40:01,426 --> 00:40:03,243
- You're messin' with me. - Aah.
983
00:40:03,245 --> 00:40:05,187
I was messing with you.
984
00:40:05,189 --> 00:40:07,080
I would love to.
985
00:40:07,082 --> 00:40:08,732
- Yeah? - Yeah.
986
00:40:10,102 --> 00:40:11,610
Cool.
987
00:40:13,438 --> 00:40:15,781
- He wants me to... Yeah. - Yes. Yes, he does.
988
00:40:26,285 --> 00:40:29,119
- Hey, babe. - Hi. Perfect timing.
989
00:40:29,121 --> 00:40:31,129
- How was your day? - Good.
990
00:40:32,775 --> 00:40:35,292
- What are you cooking? - Beef Wellington.
991
00:40:35,294 --> 00:40:37,094
Can I get you a glass of wine?
992
00:40:38,038 --> 00:40:39,279
First, tell me the occasion.
993
00:40:39,281 --> 00:40:42,465
No occasion. Just every night that I get to spend with you
994
00:40:42,467 --> 00:40:44,619
is a night worth celebrating.
995
00:40:44,953 --> 00:40:46,119
Don't worry.
996
00:40:46,121 --> 00:40:47,646
This isn't a bribe.
997
00:40:50,884 --> 00:40:53,360
Well, neither is this.
998
00:40:56,014 --> 00:40:58,056
What is this?
999
00:40:58,058 --> 00:40:59,299
It's a surprise.
1000
00:40:59,324 --> 00:41:01,805
What's in the box? What's in the box?
1001
00:41:01,830 --> 00:41:03,078
You do a horrible Brad Pitt, you know that?
1002
00:41:03,080 --> 00:41:04,154
I know, but you love it.
1003
00:41:04,156 --> 00:41:06,000
I don't, actually, but I do love you.
1004
00:41:06,025 --> 00:41:08,141
So, go on, open it.
1005
00:41:11,163 --> 00:41:13,088
Oh, my God.
1006
00:41:13,090 --> 00:41:15,090
A bearded dragon?
1007
00:41:15,092 --> 00:41:17,150
- Babe, it's... - Terrifying.
1008
00:41:17,152 --> 00:41:18,719
Beautiful.
1009
00:41:19,763 --> 00:41:20,987
Wow.
1010
00:41:21,414 --> 00:41:23,247
Hey, little buddy.
1011
00:41:23,249 --> 00:41:24,558
Hey.
1012
00:41:25,160 --> 00:41:26,417
Hey, little guy.
1013
00:41:26,419 --> 00:41:28,086
I know you're ready to be a father.
1014
00:41:29,089 --> 00:41:31,690
And I have no doubt that you would be an amazing one.
1015
00:41:33,110 --> 00:41:35,152
But I'm not so sure I'm there yet.
1016
00:41:37,114 --> 00:41:38,530
Or ever will be.
1017
00:41:39,858 --> 00:41:41,199
Hmm.
1018
00:41:44,346 --> 00:41:46,346
I just wanted to be honest with you
1019
00:41:46,348 --> 00:41:49,124
and say that this may be the only child
1020
00:41:49,126 --> 00:41:51,209
we ever share together.
1021
00:41:51,629 --> 00:41:52,978
Okay.
1022
00:41:53,613 --> 00:41:54,946
Okay?
1023
00:41:54,948 --> 00:41:56,470
Okay.
1024
00:41:57,075 --> 00:41:58,829
Really? Are you sure?
1025
00:41:58,854 --> 00:42:01,947
Carlos, would you just take the yes?
1026
00:42:01,972 --> 00:42:03,430
Okay.
1027
00:42:04,141 --> 00:42:05,599
Yes, TK.
1028
00:42:10,555 --> 00:42:14,298
Also, they told me it likes to eat live crickets.
1029
00:42:14,300 --> 00:42:16,773
So, that's gonna be your job.
1030
00:42:16,798 --> 00:42:18,395
I got it.
1031
00:42:18,397 --> 00:42:21,323
What should we name this little guy?
1032
00:42:21,325 --> 00:42:24,326
I was thinking Louis the Second or Lou II.
1033
00:42:24,328 --> 00:42:26,903
Why don't we ask him? Let's see which one he likes better.
1034
00:42:26,905 --> 00:42:28,486
- Okay. - Okay.
1035
00:42:30,817 --> 00:42:31,833
Ohh, crap.
1036
00:42:33,763 --> 00:42:35,229
He already got out, didn't he?
1037
00:42:36,064 --> 00:42:38,006
Couldn't have gone far, right?
1038
00:42:38,008 --> 00:42:41,376
Uh, Louis the Second?
1039
00:42:41,995 --> 00:42:43,904
Lou II?
1040
00:42:43,906 --> 00:42:45,658
I'm never sleeping again.
1041
00:42:45,999 --> 00:42:47,599
Oh, boy.
1042
00:42:48,399 --> 00:42:52,39973674