All language subtitles for Switchin.The.Script.2012.720p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX] eng

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* R&B song playing

China: Uh-uh, girl.
What are these?

Those are old. Stop.

Oh, my God.
I wouldn't fart in these things.

You're nasty.

How are you supposed
to get that fine man

you run around here chasing
with these type of drawers?

I'm about to start calling you
Big Drawers McGraw, girl.

Lonnie: Whatever, ladies.

Thank you very much
but I can dress myself.

And I never said he was my man.
I said that we were friends.

Lonnie, I see that man
got all up in your head.

Got you up in here
speaking that Manglish, girl.

Manglish?

China: Yes. Man English.

Do not be speaking
his words, "just friends."

You giving up them drawers,
ain't you, Lonnie?

Mm-hm.

Which means you like him
a whole lot more than friends.

For your information,
two nosey-bodies,

Keisha told me that
she happened to see Mark

at the mall
at a jewelry store today,

and she said that she saw him
at the jewelry store

buying a very expensive
necklace and...

we're going
to dinner tonight, so...

He probably getting all nervous

because he knows
she's going out of town with us.

We're going to cut up and men,
they start getting suspicious

anytime their girl
goes somewhere without them,

thinking she's getting
all sexified.

A necklace is fine and all
but it ain't no ring

and he ain't gonna
get you no ring

until you get him
some competition.

Lonnie: Competition?

As in another man,
which is exactly

what we're gonna do
this weekend.

Okay, this is not
a love boat cruise ship,

this is an office retreat.

An office retreat
loaded with men, girl.

And the best kind.

Lonnie: Really?
And what kind is that?

Employed.

But you definitely
ain't gonna get one

unless you get some
freak'em clothes, girl.

Lonnie: Freak'em clothes?

Yeah, the kind of clothes that
give a man something to look at.

The kind of clothes your behind
definitely does not have.

Thank you, ladies,
for all your help.

I can dress myself just fine.

I can conduct my affairs
and I will be just okay.

-Thank you very much.
-Oh, can you now?

Let me tell you something.

I've been playing I Spy
since I got here

and I have yet to spy
a vibrator.

Come on, now, Lonnie.

What kind of self-respecting
woman ain't got no vibrator?

Lonnie: Stop.
I actually do have one.

I've already packed it.

Girl, Barbie couldn't even
get off on that!

Where'd you get that?
A gumball machine?

I hate you, guys.

I don't need you, guys,
to help me pack.

I'm good, thank you.
I have to get ready for my date.

Anyway, look. We're gonna
be back to get you tomorrow.

Be ready.
Leave those drawers here.

Hey, Mama.

Lonnie, is that you?

I thought you were
out on a date.

No, I cancelled it.

We've got the retreat
tomorrow so...

How did your date go?

That wasn't no date.

That was an appetizer.

The main course
is later tonight.

I'm ready.

I love you, baby.

You deserve much better
than that.

Lonnie, what's up, baby?

Mark, what happened to you?

I've waited all night
and I've called you.

You did?

I didn't get the call.
Did you leave a message?

No, I didn't leave a message.

But why didn't you call me
in the first place?

-What happened?
-I'm sorry, man.

You know, something came up.

You should have left
a message, though.

You know
I would've called you back.

But, I've texted you
so what about that?

I know.

I just noticed it, I'm sorry.
That's why I'm calling, though.

Look, I'm not too far
down the street.

I wanna stop by.
I miss you.

Do you, really?
Now you want to see me?

Mark: Yes.

I want to see you, too.

You're the greatest, baby.
I'll see you soon, all right?

Out.

Bye.

*

Did you like it?

Did I like it?

Baby, I loved it.

You know,
you put it on me every time.

Baby, you know
you're the one, right?

-Really?
-Yes, baby.

That's your phone.

I'll get it.

-What you doing?
-Getting your phone.

No, no, no, no.

Don't even worry about it, baby.
Just come back.

-It's ringing, I'll just get it.
-No, no.

Don't worry about my phone.
It's nobody, it's nobody.

Why are you tripping?
I can just grab your phone.

-It's not a problem.
-No, no.

It's too late.
We're chilling, baby

I'm with you, you're with me.
We don't need no phone.

We don't care
about the phone, baby.

-Okay, fine.
-Forget that, okay?

That's ringing again.

-Oh, no. No, no, no, no. Please.
-What is the problem?

Why won't you let me
get your phone?

There's something
wrong with that phone.

No, there's something wrong
with you not wanting to know

who's calling you
at 3:30 in the morning.

It doesn't matter.
It's probably somebody from--

No. It does matter.

Your phone keeps ringing.
Let me get the phone.

-No, no.
-What is the problem?

-What is the problem?
-No, I told you.

-Really?
-Yes, you be tripping.

Why you always
got to act like that?

-What's getting into you?
-What's getting into me?

Your phone is ringing
at 3:30 in the morning

and you don't want to answer it.
So, who is she?

Huh?

It has to be a girl.

Why? It's nobody.

It has to be somebody.

Somebody's trying
to reach you at 3:30.

It doesn't matter, okay?

-No, it does matter.
-Why?

Because all of a sudden,
you're being shady

about your phone calls
at 3:30 in the morning.

Keisha saw you at the
jewelry store the other day

-buying a necklace for somebody.
-Keisha!

It wasn't for me
so it had to be for somebody.

Keisha, man.

I'm so sick and tired
of Keisha hating on me.

She's hating on us
all the time, baby.

That's for my mother.
I bought my mother a necklace.

What are you talking about?

-So--
-Stop it. God.

In all the time
I've known you,

you've never mentioned
your mother once,

all of a sudden
she exists because

-you bought someone a necklace.
-Man, you know what?

It's not like we go together
or nothing. We're not together.

We're not even dating.

I don't even know
why you're tripping, man.

You know what I'm saying?

I don't even own that right now.
You on some other stuff, okay?

-Wow.
-I'm out of here.

-All right?
-You have on my underwear.

I mean...
I do?

It was dark and they felt
like something I'd wear.

-I'm sorry.
-You have my underwear on.

You come here almost every day.

You just sat here
and told me that I'm the one

but all of a sudden,
we're not dating?

That is dating, Mark.

Maybe not in Manglish
but in Womanese, that's dating.

Man, you know what?
I'm out of here.

I will holler at you,
cause you is tripping for real.

I'm tripping
but you still have my underwear.

Girl, weekend's about
be off the hook.

Hey, I'm sorry about that.

I didn't see you there.
Let me get that for you.

-Thank you.
-We're gonna be on time.

Let's go,
we don't want to be late.

Dan: Hey, would you just
get in the car?

-China: Will you just shut up?
-Dan: Gosh!

*

This retreat
is going to be amazing.

All right? Now, corporate
is always finding ways

to increase productivity,

so I need you ladies
on your A-game

when we get
to Nottoway Plantation, okay?

China?

Dan, shut up!

Can you just drive?

Nobody goes to these retreats
to do work.

We're just trying to find
some booze and chill.

-Booze?
-Yes.

What are you
talking about, booze?

No, we're going up there
to work, okay?

There's no booze going on.

Now, this is
the perfect opportunity

to meet Mr. Bostick and spend
some quality time with him.

I want Mr. Bostick to see
that Human Resources

is a valuable part
of his team, okay?

And I'd appreciate it
if you'd show me

a little bit of respect
once we get there.

-Respect?
-Dan: Yes.

Fool, I do not
have to respect you.

-Dan: You do.
-No, I don't.

Did you forget that you
sexually harassed me in 2004?

Dan: Sexually harassed?

Yes.

I'm still blackmailing you
right now, Dan.

Remember that.

China, you walked in on me
while I was taking a leak.

How is that sexual harassment?

How long are gonna hang
this over my head, China?

Huh?

Look at you, causing
a fool scene for nothing.

I was just getting ready
to help you drive, too, because

you look half asleep with that
lazy eye you got up there.

You need to give that
thing some Red Bull.

Get it some wings, Dan.
Get it some wings.

I don't even have a lazy eye.

Listen, that's not
important, okay?

We have a lot riding
on this weekend, China.

You're not gonna
mess this up for me.

Lonnie, could you please,
please talk to her.

Have her nip it in the butt.

Ain't nobody even
worried about you.

Lonnie?

Girl, what you up there doing?

-Who are you texting?
-Lonnie: No.

Can I have my phone back please?

You was texting Mark,
wasn't you?

Technically,
I hadn't texted him yet

because I hadn't sent it yet.

I was just trying to get
my words together.

I don't know what to say.

Were you gonna send
Mark these pictures?

-Can I have my phone back?
-No.

Girl, how many times
do I gotta tell you?

Nobody want to see you
in no period panties.

China, give me my phone.

You look like a grown
Harriet Tubman in this photo.

-China!
-You can't send this to nobody.

And why does your face
look like this?

You catch a cramp
mid-picture, didn't you?

What's wrong with you?

Nothing.
These pictures are so bad,

Dan ain't even gonna look at 'em
and he's a full-blown pervert.

That's how terrible
this mess is.

I'm not a pervert and
the only thing I'm looking at

is the road ahead of me, okay?

And where's that road
because it's definitely

not down Camilla's shirt.

You don't think I see you
in the rear view mirror

-trying to look at her?
-I was doing no such thing!

Dan, what in the fuck--?

There was an armadillo
on the road.

No, there wasn't no armadillo.

What you needed to do
was pull over

and get that eye a Red Bull
like I told you before.

You was probably looking
at boobs driving by

in that other car, weren't you?
I don't trust you.

Gonna put my seat belt on

cause it's "click it or ticket"
in these streets anyway.

Let me close my shirt
all the way up

before you get us killed.

Listen, could we please
change the subject?

Please?
Let's talk about something else.

You know why we can't talk
about anything else, Dan?

Because you almost got
everybody in the car killed

trying to get a sneak peek.

You're a sexual harasser, Dan.

You might as well admit it.

Everybody else
in the car already know.

Come on, say it with me, Dan.

"I'm a sexual harasser."

Matter of fact,
let me wake up Camilla.

Camilla, girl, wake up.

Look, I'm gonna need
to cover these girls up.

Put your Mexican children
and village up,

-because this fool is nasty.
-China, that is enough, okay?

You're harassing me right now.
That's what you're doing.

Camilla, listen.
Everything is fine, all right?

You don't have to button up
your blouse, please.

Your chest looks fine.

Listen, Camilla, I'm sorry.
That came out--

All right, everybody stop.
China, leave him alone.

Let the man drive.
That's why he can't drive.

-You're stressing him out.
-Thank you.

Oh, is that what we're doing?
Are you serious right now?

You're just going to take
the sexual harasser's side?

Okay, so everybody in the car

is gonna forget about what
happened to me in 2004?

Is that what we're doing?

We're just gonna forget
about what's going on with me?

Listen.

Dan is a sexual harasser.

All he does at work
is write people up

and sexually harass people.

Those two things don't
even go together, Lonnie.

He needs to be
writing himself up.

China, let me tell you
something. You know what?

I gave you a Counseling
Statement because you,

China, did not process
Darnell Fisher's check

on three separate occasions.

Three.
I should've fired you!

Why should he get paid?
He wasn't doing no work, no way.

He worked you.

Wow. Didn't nobody
even ask for your input.

Why don't you go back
to sleep

with your Mexican cartel
looking self?

You probably smuggling drugs
this weekend too, ain't you?

Did somebody check her bags?

I'm sure
she got two or three kilos--

Oh, my god.
How much longer is this ride?

Oh, what are you trying to say?

I'm trying to say
don't start with me,

because I know about you
and Darnell Fisher

and don't let me start
blackmailing you,

-how about that?
-Whatever.

Dan, pull over.
I gotta pee.

All right. God!

All right. Come on, Lonnie.
You too, girl.

Me? I don't have to go
to the bathroom.

That's beside the point.

What self-respecting woman
goes to the bathroom alone?

You have Camilla.
How many people do you need?

One, if I gotta go number one.

But I gotta go number two,

so I need two.
Do the math.

-Disgusting.
-Do the math.

You know what, Dan? How about
you give me your credit card?

in case it's one of those
pay toilets?

Credit card?

What kind of toilet is it?

Fur-lined and gold-plated.

Give me the damn card
before I tell everybody

how you jumped
in the sack with me.

-What?
-What?

When was this?

At the company picnic.

We were in a sack race.

You were my partner.

That's your story.

Who do you think
they're gonna believe?

A sexual harasser
such as yourself,

or little old me?

Give it up, Dan.

* Give up that money

According to her,
he already did.

Hurry up.

-Thank you.
-Hurry up.

We don't have time for this,
ladies. We need to be there.

Don't slam my--

Man, can you all believe this?

I got Dan's credit card and
we're stuck in this mini-mart.

Oh, but they got a TV though.

You think they got
the Home Shopping Network?

-Really?
-Hockey Wives?

Dancing with the Homies?

I know you want to see
some Tondawando.

Look at this mess.

They made a Camilla doll.

Mouth opens wide
and everything.

That's wrong, stop.

Wait, wait.
Let's see what it's after.

Wiggle your finger
in front of it

-and you can get a piece.
-Don't be mad.

Don't act like that's
not all you think about.

That ain't all I think about.

-Did you bring any condoms?
-No, why would I have condoms?

Me neither.
We need to get some.

No, we do not.

Yes, we do.

You can't predict
what's gonna happen.

It's either condoms now
or Plan B's later.

I prefer the condoms.

Well, I don't plan
on doing anything.

What y'all heffers
about to get?

She wants to buy condoms.

Girl, you cannot get
no condoms in here.

Told you.

Why?

I'm a grown woman and I'm very
comfortable with my sexuality.

I can get condoms anywhere.

Well, why don't you use
your grown eyes

and look at the front
of the store?

China: What is he? About 16?

The minute he sees us go up
and ask for some condoms,

he's gonna be touching
all on his little privates

on his lunch break.

He gonna be thinking
about you while he's doing it.

Lonnie: Oh, that's gross.

He does look like
a six-foot hormone.

Girl, I do not need him
thinking about me that way.

You know I know.
I got a gang of brothers.

The minute you go up there,

he's gonna have you
bent over that counter

speaking Spanish
backwards in his mind.

-That is so gross.
-It is.

China: Teenage boys is creative
like that when they're horny.

Oh, look at him.
Old Dan in the making.

Ew, we're so not buying
anything from him.

No, no.
This is easy, guys.

Where are you going?

He's eye-raping you.

Abort mission.
Abort mission.

-So gross.
-That is disgusting.

He is a dirty little boy.

That is gross.

-Camilla: Is he still looking?
-Lonnie: Yeah, still looking.

Camilla: Okay, this is
what we're gonna do.

We're just gonna go
behind the register,

buy a bunch of stuff.

If he's overwhelmed
by a bunch of purchases,

he won't even notice.

Why do we have to buy
condoms anyway?

Why can't we just leave?

All right.
What do you want to get?

I guess, I mean,
cough medicine?

That's the only thing
behind the register.

The only people buying cough
medicine in a place like this

is meth heads in a hurry.

It's illegal to have more
than 12 ounces on you

at all times anyway and
the way Dan's been driving,

we could get pulled over
and then we're gonna go to jail.

I won't do good in a jail.

They don't brush
their teeth every day.

You don't either.

Oh, my god, okay.
I'll just buy it.

It's at the end of the day.

He's probably gonna
whack off anyway.

That's what I'm talking about.
That's what I've been saying.

-Come on, let's go.
-Okay, don't rush me.

May I help you?

Hi, can we have
some condoms please?

What? I didn't catch that.

Boy, you know you caught that.
Give her the damn condoms.

Clerk: Anything else?

I don't like that brand.
Where are the big ones?

Clerk: The big ones?

The big ones.

Do not give her them big ones.

You know dang-gone well
men only buy those

cause they say "big" on 'em.

I like them.

They be looking like a jellybean
in a pillowcase.

We should get
the sensitive ones.

I heard those are really good.

"I heard those are good."
For who?

Them or you?

Ain't you tired of making men
feel all good and sleepy?

They be treating us like
a corned beef sandwich

and a sleeping pill,
just pump-pump.

Lonnie: Ew, okay. Ew!

We'll just take these.
Thank you.

Nasty.

Would you guys hurry?

Finally.

Finally, what took
you guys so long?

God.

We're on a time schedule.

China: We're on a time schedule?

Well, I had my panties
wrapped around my ankles

but when I thought
about a pervert like you

being outside I couldn't go.

I'm not a pervert.
What are you talking about?

Yeah, you are.
Look at this.

Man don't even need
no fingers to touch.

Eyes just touching
all over us back here.

Listen, Camilla.

I wasn't trying to look
at your breasts, okay?

-Yeah you was.
-So what are you trying to say?

You don't want to hit
the piñata? Candy comes out.

Welcome. Come on, come on.
Come on over.

Hey, hey, hey, listen.

That's Mr. Bostick himself.

You ladies be behaving
yourself, all right?

Thank you.

Mr. Bostick: Welcome everybody.
Come on in. Come on, come on.

Don't worry
about the luggage, folks.

Dan: Yes, sir.

Your itineraries will already be
in your rooms, so come on.

We have some drinks and
hors d'oeuvres first, all right?

-All right.
-Thanks a lot, Mr. Bostick.

We are very excited about being
here this weekend, sir.

Yes, of course you are.

-Ladies? How are you?
-China: Good.

You're looking lovely.
Come with me.

So, did you have a good trip?

China: Sure did.

Look, you guys.
Champagne.

-Is it free?
-China: Yes, it's free.

Stop being so simple.

-I'm gonna take two.
-Camilla: So pretty good.

Thank you.

Thanks.

-Lonnie?
-Yeah?

Is this shellfish?

Yeah, I think so, why?

I'm allergic. I can't.

I break out everywhere.

We can't be rude
and put it back down,

so just take it and smile.

I can't.

-Ladies, how are you?
-Hi, Mr. Bostick.

Are you enjoying
the hors d'oeuvres?

I had them special made
for y'all. Delicious.

Well?

China: She's not used to putting
something so small in her mouth.

Oh?

Well, that's what this weekend
is all about, young lady.

Expanding our horizons, huh?

Go ahead. Try it.

Mmm. It...

What do you think?

Fish. Fish.

Really good.

Have another bite.

Go ahead.

Listen, I'm gonna
tell you something.

I need some great ideas, okay?

I've brought together
my brightest minds

from Sales, HR and Production.

I want to try to, one...

cut costs.

Two, cut costs,
higher productivity.

Three, cut costs
without laying anybody off.

I don't want the company
to go down the crapper, huh?

China: Camilla?
What is going on?

Enjoy.

-Lonnie: Thank you, Mr. Bostick.
-Dan: Thank you, sir.

China: What are you doing?

It's not good.
I can't move.

China: What is going on?
What are you doing?

I gotta poop.
I'm gonna blow.

Camilla, you look like
a Mexican jumping bean.

Camilla, what are you
talking about? Why?

Camilla: I gotta poop.

Camilla, go sit down.

I told you I couldn't
eat that thing.

-Sit down.
-Nasty.

Look what I found.

Like what?

Lonnie: It's disgusting.

-It's all your fault, Lonnie.
-No, it's not my fault.

I told you I couldn't
eat that damn thing.

That's disgusting.
Just go to the bathroom.

Oh, my God.
Camilla, no, you didn't.

I did.

Just because
it doesn't have no sound

-does not mean it doesn't stink.
-Oh, my God.

Lonnie: That is so gross.

I can't believe
you just did that, Camilla.

Ladies and gentlemen,
come on. Join the party.

There's a party out here.

We're just enjoying
the beautiful flowers.

Is everything all right?

Everybody feeling all right?

Everything ain't
smelling all right.

You know what, we just buried
our dog five feet away.

And this is not cool.

It smells a little foul.
Come on in and party.

It smells
much more nicer inside.

We'll be in...

-Just give us a minute.
-Just a minute.

Listen, it would be rude of me
to keep you guys out here.

Is your friend okay?
Are you sick?

Come on, stand up.
Come to the party.

Is it the smell?

She is the smell.

Yeah, I believe so.

Something like that.
The smell, yeah.

You seem cold.
Take my jacket, come inside.

-I don't think--
- No, no, no.

The jacket, yes.
The jacket is a good idea.

-Dan, shut up.
-Come on, we're waiting.

Thank you.

You better run
south of the border.

-Oh, my God.
-You ain't gonna make it.

I think she just did
number three on herself.

There's a stain.

-Hey.
-Hey.

She's gonna be in there
for a while

but I'm sure she's very
thankful. Thank you

-for helping my friend.
-Oh, no problem.

Yeah.

-You can still smell it?
-Just a little.

-Let's move.
-All right.

You think it smells bad now,

wait till you get
your jacket back.

You know what?
She can keep my jacket.

-I'm cool. I'll buy a new one.
-Good idea.

I didn't get your name.

Elondra Shepherd.
You can call me Lonnie.

Okay. David Bostick.

The boss's son?

Yeah, that's me.
The boss's son.

Wow. Impressive.

Excuse me for a moment.

Hey.

All right, I'm coming
right now, Pop.

Okay.

I gotta run
but we are having

the official meet-and-greet
later on tonight.

-I would love to see you there.
-Okay, we'll be there.

Okay, cool
Will she be okay?

I can't guarantee that.

-But I'll be there.
-David: All right, cool.

-I'll see you later. Pleasure.
-Nice meeting you.

-Bye.
-Alright.

China, can you please go
get ready in the bathroom?

There's not enough
space for both of us.

I would, but Bubbleguts Johnson
over there

broke the toilet.

There is something
wrong with you.

-Get this.
-What's that?

Mark wants to know where I am.

I'm not playing
with you this weekend.

We are sticking to the plan.

One, no talking
about no water-head Mark.

Two, cause I know you,
no catching feelings, Lonnie.

We're supposed to be having fun.

Girl, besides,

it is 20 men out there
to four women.

Odds are in our favor, girl.

Yeah.

-Three.
-Three.

Hold up though.
Now that I think about it, yeah.

The woman from Sales?

Married.

Girl, she's on the sidelines.

That means it's just me
and you in the game.

-Touchdown, Lonnie.
-I don't know.

That isn't even me.
You know that.

Plus, we've got
a lot of work to do,

and you know Dan's...
you know, he's counting on us.

I ain't worried
about no Dan, girl.

He's just gonna be
counting titties.

No, he's really trying
to call back right now.

Look at you.

"I can't believe he's trying
to call back right now."

Talk about you don't know
how to be no heartbreaker.

Playa, playa.

Did he say anything back yet?

Lonnie: No. Oh, yeah,
wait, wait. Yeah, he did.

Lonnie?

Lonnie.

Girl, you got the soggy booty.
But what are you doing?

What? There's nothing wrong
with my dress. I look good.

No, you can't wear
no granny panties

with no dress like this.

Lonnie:
I look fine.

No, you look like you've
got prison hemorrhoids,

like you just did five-to-ten

and been sitting on the toilet
seat the whole time ass naked.

Be quiet.
I look fine.

Listen, you cannot wear this.

We need to start
completely over.

Time for Phase One.

Phase One?

Phase One.

We knew that you were
gonna need some help,

so we came prepared.

-Scalpel.
-Scalpel?

Yeah. Camera.

*

You would have a leaf-blower.

Camilla: A female heartbreaker
never gives up her goodies.

Men's power are in their words.

Our power is in our movements,
our dress.

It doesn't matter what you say,

it matters what you do
with your body.

No worries.

China: Damn, girl.

You're like the Oracle
or the Godfather

or something, ain't you?

Camilla: I am weak.

There is so much I want
to share, but I must rest.

Lonnie: Camilla?

She's gone.
Oh, lord, she's gone.

China: That hussy ain't gone.
She's just sleeping.

Let's go before she starts
farting in here again.

Lonnie? Is that you?

Holy armadillo!

Gosh!

Can I get you some raisins?

So, is everybody
having a good time?

Everything is just fine, sir.
Just lovely.

Lovely?

Did he say lovely?

Everything is fine, sir.

Yes.
Ladies, how about you?

Yes.

I'm having an amazing time.

You have a really
nice place here.

-A girl could get used to this.
-Oh, look at that.

Oh, how's your friend?

-Can I be frank with you?
-Please. Of course.

She is jacked up.

I mean, inside's destroyed.
All tore back.

You hear that?

Where have you been
hiding her, Dan?

And where have you
been hiding her?

Who, me?

-Pop, this is Elondra.
-Elondra?

Yes, she works in the
Human Resources Department

and she looks thirsty.
Waiter?

So, Elondra,
have you met everyone yet?

No, not yet, sir.

No, no.
Not "sir", Eugene.

Everybody calls me Eugene.

Pops, no one calls you Eugene.

Even Mom calls you Mr. Bostick.

Yes, Junior.
They do call--

Dan? Doesn't everybody
call me Eugene?

-Yes, sir. Mr... Eugene.
-See? Eugene.

So, you must be new
with the company.

No, actually, I just
celebrated two years.

-Two years?
-Yes.

Two years squandered
in Human Resources.

Um.

Sir, I wouldn't call it
squandered.

Yeah, well, I would.

You know why?

Because I believe there's
a whole lot more to you

than meets the eye.

In that outfit?

There isn't much
that doesn't meet the eye, sir.

Junior, listen.

I need you to go
and find Ms. Geirhart.

Have a conversation
with her somewhere else, okay?

Pops, there's so many guests
around I need to entertain.

I don't want to be rude.

Yes, you don't but
you always manage

to be so anyway.

Yes, sir.

Thank you.

Hey, you can't fire
your kid, right?

What do you do, huh?

Dan, can you do me a favor?

I need you
to coordinate something...

Dan: Yes, sir.

...somewhere else with somebody
far away from here.

Yeah, yes, sir.

China, let's go.

What? I'm not trying
to get with Lonnie.

-I'm comfortable right here.
-Come on, China.

Mr. Bostick said
get out of here.

I'll not be leaving my Lonnie.

Hey.

I would like for you to take
a walk with me.

Is that okay?

Certainly it is.

Thank you, Sir.

You'd like to take... Yes.

Come, come.

You look absolutely lovely,
you know that?

Yes.

This is absolutely beautiful.

Thank you.
Walk this way.

You know, it wasn't so easy.

Started off
with a few porta-potties,

got a garbage truck
and never looked back.

-Not a bad idea.
-Yes.

Are you trying
to get me drunk, Mr. Bostick?

And... what if I was?

That might not be
a good idea being

that I do not handle
my liquor very well.

You should have told me that.
You've got to drink up some.

So tell me something,

how long did you say you've
been working for my company?

I just celebrated two years.

Two years.

Okay.

But you don't even know
what it is

that I do for your company,
do you?

I know what you can
do for me right now.

You can drink up.

As much as I would
thoroughly enjoy a nightcap,

we do have to be up
early in the morning.

We do?

Well, the itinerary
says that we do.

It says that we have
a fitness part of the weekend,

but in order for me
to be energetic,

I do need to get my rest.

You do?

Yes.

Of course.

Of course you do.

Well, I tell you what.

I will...

Hell, I guess I'll just
see you on the patio

first thing in the morning.

-First thing in the morning.
-Cheers.

-Goodnight, Mr. Bostick.
-Goodnight.

* Chester, Chester,
staff molester *

Do you ever stop?

-No.
-Gosh!

Whatever.
Where did Lonnie go?

I don't know.

I don't care.

Did you notice there's like...

four women here?

Yes. And 20 men.

Look at how they're
all looking at me.

Somebody's going to occupy
China tonight.

Watch this, Dan.

Stop.
You're embarrassing yourself.

You're making yourself
look foolish.

Whatever, boy.
I don't look foolish.

I look good.

They cannot keep
their eyes off me.

I don't see anyone.

-Stop hating, Dan.
-It's no hatred.

I'm just expressing
my own opinion.

-You jealous, Dan?
-No.

Come on, you're my co-worker,
for Pete's sake.

I just don't want all that
gossip going on in the office.

-Did you just say "the office?"
-Yeah.

Look around.
We are the office.

Are you telling? Cause I'm
not going to tell on myself.

No.

Gosh!

Who's that guy?

My occupier.

Bye, Dan.

Where are you going?

Yes.

Shoot! My key.

Uh-uh! You don't know who you're
messing with, baby. Pow!

-You would do something like--
-Excuse me, excuse me.

Can I talk to you
for a second, China?

-Please? If you don't mind.
-I'm busy right now, Dan.

Can you come back?
Dang!

It's kind of private.

Please, if you don't mind?

The lady busy, man.
Come back later.

Look like these fools
about to fight over me.

That's not necessary, okay?

Come. Back. Later.

Dan: Hey, listen, buddy.

You don't know who you're
messing with, okay, buddy?

I am in charge of all
of Human Resources.

And what?

What?
I'm going to tell you what.

If you want see your check
arrive to you in a timely manner

or if you don't want
to accidentally see your hours,

sick time, vacation time,
compensation package screwed up,

you will step off
right now, buddy. Now!

All right, y'all.
It just got real.

You know what?
He's serious right now.

I've seen him write
somebody up for messing

-with somebody's check once.
-That's right.

-China: Y'all just go.
-Dan: If it's not enough for you

I'll definitely
implement drug testing.

I'll implement
a whole bunch of things.

That's right. You get
out of here. You too, shorty.

-What has gotten into you?
-No, what's gotten into you?

No, you've been acting
the fool this whole weekend.

What's going on?

I'm not the one that's
been acting up, okay?

I don't like the way you've
been carrying yourself.

-Me?
-Yes, you.

Boy, this wasn't nothing.

You should have seen me
down at Atlanta Freaknik.

-I was pop-locking, I was on a--
-I'm serious.

I'm not joking right now.

Then what is it, Dan?

Damn.

You got me.

Got you what?

Nothing.

No. No.

Whatever.
When did you realize, Dan?

Well...

I realized back in...

back in 2004...

I...

I should have
sexually harassed you.

You can sexually
harass me now, Dan.

Really?

David?

-Hey.
-Hey. Everything okay?

Yeah, no. Everything's fine.
How about you?

Things are good.
I'm having a great time.

Well, you look, wow.
You look great.

-Thank you.
-Stunning.

-You look great.
-Thank you. How's your friends?

Um, looking for one.

Can't find her.
The other one is resting.

She's feeling a lot better.

Okay, well send her my love.
Hopefully she feels better.

Yeah, she says
she's going to join us

tomorrow for the workouts.

Yeah, that's cool.

Have you seen the place?

I saw the gardens
but that's about it.

I did not get
an official tour yet.

Oh, you've got to let me
show you around.

Okay, I'd love that.
I'd like that.

Okay, cool

But, maybe later.
Definitely later.

Okay.
Definitely.

-Definitely later it is, then.
-Okay.

-All right?
-Sounds good. Yeah.

You know what?

So, are you ready
to tuck me in?

Definitely later.

-David: Yeah, definitely.
-You guys have a good night.

Okay. You too.
Definitely.

Let's get hard.

Woman: Elondra Shepherd.

She's a plain Jane.

Is that a picture of her mother?
And her?

In Sears?

"If you're going to find love,
love will find you..."

Oh, my God!
An amateur.

This is going to be so easy.

Mark Phillips.

Oh, he's cute.

I wonder if her man
knows what she's doing?

Oh, my God, David.
You scared the hell out of me.

Don't kill me.
I'm innocent.

-You cool?
-I must look crazy, I'm sorry.

-No, you look good.
-Are you sure?

I didn't know
I was going to run into anybody.

You look cool, but you know,
I'm going to keep it real.

I'm a little disappointed
in you.

Why? What did I do?

Well, I was about to eat
that last piece of cheesecake

and you beat me to the punch.
So, I'm a little hot about that.

Now, you owe me one.
All right?

-Go ahead, you tripping.
-No, we can share it.

-Oh we can?
-Sure, we can share.

Yes. I'm... Yes.

I'm cool with that.

I'm sorry again.
I know that...

I'm sorry I look
super-insane right now.

I didn't know I was going
to run into anybody.

Stop it.
You look fine.

It's four in the morning.

Yeah, it's four
in the morning

and you look
like somebody made you.

-Somebody made me?
-Yes.

You're crazy.

Like Weird Science Part Two
or something.

Oh, okay.
So, I'm Kelly LeBrock?

Wait a minute.
You know about that movie?

Do I know the movie?
What are you talking about?

-It's one of my favorite movies.
-Yeah, right.

Come on, yeah right.

Weird Science
is your favorite movie?

-That's one of my--
-If it's your favorite movie,

who's your favorite character?
That's a stupid question.

That's not a stupid question.

Actually, my favorite
character is Chet.

Believe it or not.

Chet, the brother from Hell?

Yep, because he made me
feel like I was good,

I was good
to be the only child.

-You know what I mean?
-Wow.

He was confident.

Grew up real tall.

Chet had to be like the worst
brother ever in the world.

-He was cool.
-That's who you choose?

No, he was cool, he was cool.

Well, you do know
that black people

aren't supposed to know
about that movie?

Why you say that?

Yo, everybody I know black
loves that movie. You're crazy.

Clearly, we run
in two different circles

cause if my friends even heard
us having this conversation,

I would never hear
the end of it.

Like, when I go to the movies,

I have to sit in the back,
like in the shadows

so nobody sees me.

Listen.

It's the 21st Century.

You can love who you love
and like what you like.

All right? It's okay.
You ain't got to be ashamed.

-Okay.
-All right? I'm just--

So, what about Pretty In Pink?

Okay, you lost me, all right?

What about Pretty In Pink?
Clueless?

-Ten Things I Hate About You?
-Go back to the shadows, girl.

Go back and stay in the back.

Those movies are good movies.

I gotta admit though
I'm really happy I met you.

You're cool.

-Don't say that.
-Why not?

Because until today,
you didn't even know I existed.

What are you talking about?
That's not true.

Yes it is.
Okay, who do you think

read all of those performance
reports you wrote, huh?

-Me.
-You?

Okay, now you're surprised.
Me.

I did that.

Okay?
I'm focused.

Okay, so all of a sudden,
I'm supposed to believe

that you wanted to meet me
because I just wrote

great reports and secretly,

you yearn to be
a school teacher.

Well, it's funny
you say that but yes.

Actually, yes.

And, I know
you might not believe me,

but I do have
my teaching credentials

and I know it's probably
not realistic in my life,

well, I know it's not,
but it's still my dream.

It doesn't have to be a dream.
You could do that.

It doesn't sound crazy.

You don't have to work
for your dad.

But, you know.

At the end of the day, you don't
have to worry about it.

-Your secret's safe with me.
-Thank you.

I appreciate that.

So, what about you?

What do you want to be
when you grow up?

What do I want to be
when I grow up?

I want to be
a flower shop owner.

So, why don't you?

Yeah, right.
I live with my mother.

Paying rent on my own
is kind of hard right now so...

Not realistically a dream...

And you ate all the cheesecake.

I am so sorry--

You owe me another
slice of cheesecake.

-I promise. I got you.
-You owe me a whole...

I'm gonna get one from
The Cheesecake Factory for you.

-Okay.
-All right?

Wake up, sleepyhead.
It's a beautiful morning

and the physical fitness
session is about to start.

No.

Get up.

I don't wanna go.

You are feeling a lot
better this morning.

I do feel great.

I can tell.
What are you wearing?

Where did you get
this outfit from?

The Marvel Comics store?

These are my workout clothes,
now come on.

Mr. Bostick
is a fitness fanatic

and if we miss this,
he's gonna be mad.

-I'm staying in bed.
-No, you're not.

I don't want to go alone,

and China's big ass
isn't going go.

No, I don't know
how to work out.

-I don't want to.
-Camilla: No.

I come from a long line
of people in my family

that do not own
gym memberships.

So? You don't need to know
how to work out.

All you need to know how to do
is how to bend,

wiggle and stretch.

I hate you
and I hate your body

and I'm definitely
staying in bed.

-Someone's at the door.
-Lonnie: You suck, I hate you.

-Who is it?
-No one.

No one?

They just left some flowers.

For who?

It doesn't say who they're for
or who they're from

but they can't be for China
because the only thing

she ever gets delivered to her
door are restraining orders.

So either they are for you or,
most likely, for me.

What does the card say?

It say "Definitely later."

That's what it says?

Oh, those are for me.

Somebody's been
working some magic.

Yes.

Something just bit me.

Oh, my God,
something just bit me.

Maybe it was a bee.
Maybe the flowers--

God forgive me.
I need to repent.

Oh my God!

I can't breathe.
I can't... I can't...

Are you okay?

I'm so weak.

This has to be
the worst day

in Mexican-American
history for you.

-Hey, hey.
-Stop.

Come on.
Can't you see she's hurting?

How are you feeling?

Better.

Okay, look, it's serious.

You know I love you
but can you please

just tell me
how you get stung by a bee

in your neck
in your own room?

In the flowers.

Uh-uh! Who sent your stinky
behind some flowers?

Lonnie.

You sent this heffer
some flowers?

No, somebody sent me flowers.

Girl!

I told you it was
gonna work, didn't I?

We got all the boys
wanting our milkshakes.

I guess that's what
you were doing?

That's not right, China.

No, no, babe.

I'm in love.

Okay, wait a minute.
You're in what?

Girl.

Listen.

Everything I said was true.

-Yeah.
-It works.

-I got my man.
-That's right.

I heard this heffer over here
whooping and hollering,

but so was I.

Oh, my God.
I can't.

Milla, I love you, girl.

If I knew it was
Attack of the Killer Bees,

I would've been over here
with Raid, flyswatters

Border Patrol,
everything for you.

I love you. I love you.

Lonnie: Okay, it's time
to go work out.

I'm not going.

You can't go
dressed like that.

Why? I'm ready.

I look cute.

No.

You look like
the Care Bears' nephew.

Jumping jacks.
Come on. 98... 99... 100.

Yeah. Now, let's...
Let's get your feet moving.

Get your feet.
You wanna get the burn.

-Burn, burn.
-Feel the burn. Feel the burn.

Burn it. Come on.

Pump it!
You got to go around in circles.

Get low, get low.

Get low, get down there.

Now wave your body with it,

wave your body with it.
That's how we do it.

That's how we do it.
You feel that all up in here.

All up in here.

You're looking tired.

Pump it up, pump it up.

Yeah.

Y'all got to get fired up,
y'all got to get fired up.

All right, here we go.

Knees up, knees up.

Knees up.

Knees up, knees up, knees up.
Like you're dancing.

Knees up, knees up.

We're getting tired.
This is a good workout, huh?

Your cardio getting ready,
your cardio getting ready.

Get your knees up.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Whoo.

Yeah, yeah.

Come on.
Back to jumping jacks. One...

Two... three... four.

What's wrong with you over
there, come on, boy.

Keep it up. You can
do it better. Keep it up.

Come on.
Here we go, here we go.

Why is everybody stopping?

Don't stop. Push it, push it.
Yeah, come on.

Sorry I'm late.
You guys don't have to stop.

I'm sorry.

Everyone take five.

-Hell.
-You don't have to stop.

-No, no. Take ten.
-No, you don't have to do that.

I can just jump in line
and start working out with them.

They are maggots.

They're maggots.

I'm 68 years old
and they can't keep up with me.

-You're 68?
-Sixty-eight.

I would have never guessed that.
What is your secret?

The secret... The secret is...

water, women,
and $69.99.

$69.99?

That's my workout DVD.

It's cheap and it's reasonable.

Well, I am a woman and
I did just have some water.

-But I don't have $69.99.
-For you, it is free.

Thank you.
That's so sweet of you.

Harvey: Oh, Lord.

-Mr. Blanks?
-Harvey: Yes?

-Great workout.
-Mmm-Hm.

Sorry it's over so soon.

It ain't over.

-What?
-Line up.

Five mile run in two minutes.

You.

Go, go. Line up.

Let her go.

You don't mind
if I start stretching?

Do I mind?

Everyone needs a good stretch
before they start running.

Go ahead. Stretch.
Go ahead.

You gotta stretch stretch.

Stretch, stretch, stretch.
Try it..

Yeah.
Like that, like that.

I was thinking that...

I get a little nervous,
you know,

working out in front of people
so maybe like later on

-I can get a private session.
-Hell, we can do it right now.

Work out is over.

Everyone get out.

No. We can do it another time.
We don't have to do it now.

No, no. That's fine.

What we'll do is we'll start off
with a little run

and even a quicker workout.

It will only be
about four hours, I promise.

Four hours is nothing, babe.
Oh, here you go.

Oh, I hate to miss that but--

You're gonna miss it?

I have a workshop to go to.

-Girl, you're already--
-Hey, young man.

Great workout, Mr. Blanks.

-I'm glad you liked it.
-Yeah, all right.

It's about to get better for me.

Mr. Bostick?

Do you mind
if I take baby girl here

on a brisk run this morning?

I'm sure she won't be missed.

Oh, she will
definitely be missed.

Actually, you know, I don't
mind under one condition.

What's that?

I tag along.

Pops, you know you've got
a lot on your schedule today.

You really can't do this.

No, son, I will.
And I can.

David?

Handle it.
Be right back.

Here we go again.

Mind if I tag along?

Yes, I do.

Shall we?

Actually, she should come along.

Mr. Bostick: Actually,
she's just fine where she is.

Come on, baby, with me.

Harvey: No! wait, man.

I've been dealing
with you for 30 years,

you gonna come
mess with me now?

Mr. Bostick:
Thirty years too long.

-Mr. Bostick: Slow down.
-Harvey: Here we go.

We're gonna do it.

Mr. Bostick: You're doing great,
sweetheart, you're doing great.

Lonnie: Wait a minute.

Woman down.

Hey, you okay?
Anything I can do to help?

No, no, no.
Is there anything I can do?

I asked her first.
I asked her first.

I think I sprained my ankle
walking up the hill.

I told you not to go that way.

Okay, we could have
gone another trail.

You know what?

No worries, no worries.

I know how to solve this.

I'm gonna carry you.

No!

-Put her down.
-I'm gonna carry her back.

Put her down.
I got this under control.

I'm gonna carry her

and I don't want to hear
another word about it.

No, no. I can walk.
I will walk by myself.

She says she can walk, okay?

I'm sorry.

I know how to fix this.

How?
What you got?

I'm gonna race you
for the lady's honor.

Sir? Are you prepared
to lose with honor?

-Count of three.
-Your count or mine?

Your's, dear sir.

-What's that supposed to mean?
-That's a straight line.

-That ain't no straight line.
-That line is much straighter.

Is his line straighter?
Mine is straighter.

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

One.

I'll be right
back for you, baby.

-Hey, hey, hey. Two.
-Three.

Oh, there ain't no cheating.
There ain't no cheating forever.

Mr. Bostick: Come on now.

-Hey, Miss Geirhart.
-Hi.

I'm glad to get you alone.

I need to apologize.

Apologize for what?

About last night,
that little scene with David?

I'm sorry you had to see that.

David?

Miss Geirhart, I thought
you were married.

Oh, I am married.

But, apparently that doesn't
mean anything to David.

Are you saying
that David has a thing for you?

If by "thing" you're talking
about that little thing

that he has to keep
in his pants, yes.

But if you think
he has feelings for me?

Hardly not.

He just wants something
he hasn't had.

What?

I wouldn't be surprised
if he hasn't made his way

through the whole
Human Resource Department.

See you later.

I hope you guys
are having a good time.

I have to tell you, Mr. Bostick,
this weekend is great.

I can't stress that enough.
Thank you for inviting us.

Yeah, yeah. Whatever.
So, tell me, sweetheart.

-Yes?
-How's your friend, Elondra?

Oh, Mr. Bostick.

You got a thing for my girl?

You'll have to
excuse my father.

He's quite the flirt.

I'm sure he's just having
a little bit of fun.

No, son.
I'm not having fun.

I actually want to hit that.

Pops, don't you think that's
a little bit inappropriate?

Don't you think
you should tone it down?

No, I'm not going
to tone it down, okay?

I want to hit it.
I want what I want.

Pops, I just really
don't think that--

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

David, come on over here.

Do you like her, too?
What do we got?

Black Shakespeare going on
this weekend on the ranch.

Hold on, hold on, hold on.

I'm just sayin'.

Son? Is this true?

Do you have feelings
for this young lady?

Honestly, I don't know.

But, I mean, if I can, I would
like the chance to find out.

Wow.

Okay.
Wow, I just--

Damn.

I just wish I knew
how you felt, you know?

I would have done things
a little differently.

-Really, Pop?
-Absolutely.

I would have banged her
yesterday.

No, really,
I would have like...

Bam. Just like that.
You know, that's how I do.

Okay, listen, son.

If you're looking for a little,
you know, honest competition,

then you're on.

See? Competition is how
I became so successful.

Is that how you became
successful? Really?

Excuse me, Junior?

David, Pop. It's David.

Excuse me, Junior?

I don't want to
compete with you.

I honestly have to tell you,

Sometimes I... I really think
his mom had an affair with--

-You guys gonna join me up here?
-Yes, sir.

Thank you.

I think his mom had an affair
with the interior decorator.

He's so sensitive.

David, huh?

Come on, David.
King David, that's my boy.

* I'm just a love machine

* And I won't work
for nobody but me *

* Yeah baby

* I'm just a love machine

* And I won't work
for nobody but you *

* Yeah baby

* I'm just a love machine

* And I won't work
for nobody but you *

* Yeah baby

* I'm just love machine

* And I won't work
for nobody but you *

*

Harvey!
What are you doing in here?

-Leave.
-I'm standing here, baby.

Harvey, you have to leave.

This is my room
and you have to get out.

Why are you so oil--
Oh, my God.

I don't even want to know.
Harvey, get out.

Oh, my God.

I'm sorry, baby girl.

Just leave, Harvey, please.

I don't normally act this way.

I just thought that--

Lonnie: I know what
you thought, Harvey,

and that's why
you have to leave.

I'm sorry, baby girl.

I didn't mean to disrespect you.

I just thought, well,
maybe you liked me.

It's been a long time since
a pretty girl like yourself

liked someone like me.

Lonnie: Harvey,
I do like you.

You do?

I mean, of course I do.
Everyone loves you.

You're Harvey Blanks.
You're the fitness guru.

But, for me,
just not in that way.

You do like me?

I adore you.

I think you're strong
and you're smart.

I think
you're a really nice guy.

Handsome?

Definitely handsome.

And I think that if you just
toned it down a little bit,

I think that other women
would like you.

I need to like...
tone it down a little bit?

-Just a little bit.
-Okay. I'll tone it down.

And, I promise you
that I think that will work.

I mean, it's just that
you have, like...

You have this game show host,

infomercial, Vietnam veteran
thing going.

Yeah, yeah.

I think that if you
toned it down, maybe a lot,

I think women would
fall at your feet.

Bring it down a lot.

I'll work on that, baby girl.

-One more thing.
-What's that?

The whole waiting
in someone's room, baby oil...

All bad.
It's kind of creepy.

-That's not good either?
-All bad.

Okay, well.
Sorry, baby girl.

-MSNBC bad.
-Oh.

I'm creepy.

Oh, you're not creepy, just...

waiting in my bedroom
is kind of creepy.

Okay. Tone it down a little bit.

-A lotta bit.
-I'll work on it.

Okay.

Could you put
your shirt back on?

Thank you, baby girl.

Could you
put your shirt back on?

-When I get outside.
-Okay.

What's wrong
with your friend, baby girl?

She's been having a bad time.

First, she ate something bad,
then she got stung by a bee,

-Mm-hm.
-but she'll be fine.

Well, I owe you one.

No, it's okay.

I have something in my room
that could fix her right on up

I won't charge her
a dime, baby girl.

You know, I usually
charge $69.99.

But for you, free.

Absolutely free.

I am a health guru, you know.

Yes, you are. And I'm sure
she would love that.

No problem, baby girl.
Anything for you.

Let me go on get that and
I'll be right back with you.

-You do that.
-All right.

-Thank you, Harvey.
-You don't like the oil?

-Okay, I'll be right back.
-Okay. Thanks, Harvey.

Hello?

Ms. Geirhart: Mark?

Yeah? Who is this?

Let's just say
I'm a concerned friend.

-Harvey.
-Hey.

What are you doing
on this side of the house?

I just came
from seeing a friend.

From that room?

From that room.

Was it Elondra?

Is that baby girl?

I guess.

Then, yeah. baby girl.

She sure knows how to make
a man feel good inside.

Well, I'm kind of busy.
I've got to go.

I'll talk to you later.

Your back, son, is not toned.

I've got just the workout
for you, just $69.99.

Hey, Lonnie?

Hey.
Feeling better?

A lot better.
What's wrong?

Everything.

It just seems like
everything's wrong.

It's like I got
every guy in here to like me

except for the one
that I want to like me.

He thinks that...

I don't know,
I'm just so confused.

I think he's upset with me.

Why is he upset?

I have no idea.

I mean, it could be that his dad
hit on me last night.

It could be that.

It could be the fact that Harvey
just walked out of our room

and he saw him
walking out of our room.

I mean...

Wait, Harvey Blanks
was in our room?

-The fitness guru?
-Okay, long story.

You don't even want to know
what I came out in--

Every time we're together
and we're sharing a moment,

my phone goes off.

It's always Mark calling
and I don't answer

so I think that
it kind of throws him off.

So, it could be
any of those things.

Which one of y'all heffers
got my earring...

China: Camilla,
what is wrong with this girl?

The boss's son broke her heart.

Broken hearts?

Girl, we were just supposed
to be having fun this weekend,

not getting attached.

You went and fell in love.
Why can't I just like someone?

Wait, China...
You fell in love?

Girl, yes.

I'm gonna need you
to keep up

and lay off them prescription
meds, you hear me?

Old Lindsay Lohan in training.

Okay, I'm lost.

Lonnie, you love the boss's son
and China, you love...?

Dan.

Dan?

Yes, okay.

I love Dan.

He pop-locked and dropped it,
flipped it up, rub it down

oh no rock'em sock'em robot
in me, girl. Yeah.

Side note.

He told me
about your allegations

about him looking
at your little booty?

And he said he wasn't
and I believe him

stop lying on my man.
Yes, I believe him.

Okay, this is crazy.

Okay, what should I do?

Because I don't want him
to think that I'm like that.

So then, tell him.

I tried,
but he won't listen to me.

Lonnie, you are a woman.

You used what you have
to go have fun

now use it
to get what you want.

She's right.

-Go get your man, Lonnie.
-Go get your man, Boo.

Hey, Ginny,
how you doing, sweetheart?

I'm gonna have the usual.

Hey, son.
What are you doing?

I'm drowning
in my sorrows, Pops.

-Oh.
-You need something?

Thank you, sweetheart.
Actually, yes, I do.

I'm gonna need the checkbooks.
I need to pay Harvey.

I told you I've already
taken care of that, Pops.

We need an invoice.

Once he submits an invoice,
he'll get paid.

My manager, his manager,
we've already talked about it.

Junior, I told you no.

I don't like to do
my business like that, son.

I like to be more personal.

-Personal?
-Yes.

I'm gonna give the boy a check.

Personal. When have you
ever been personal, Pops?

What the hell does that mean?

You know, I've just been
thinking and I'm wondering,

like, when have you ever
just told me

"Good job, son."

"Thank you for not taking
that job as a teacher

and coming and working for me."

"Thank you
for saving my business."

Huh?

Are you serious?

No, really, are you serious?

Son...

I can hire anybody
to do what you do, man.

You know why I hired you?

Because you are my son.
That's why.

No--

If you quit today, my business
would keep on going, baby.

That's business, man.

You know what I'm saying?

When you look at all them
zeroes on your check?

That's me saying thank you.
Cheers.

You know, I didn't
expect you to understand.

You don't know half of what's
going on in the office anyway,

so you just go ahead and
keep cheating on women,

golfing and being arrogant
and I'll take care of it.

Then take care of it. Okay.
Take care of it, son.

Take care of it
without bitching.

-I'm not bitching.
-You're bitching.

If you're not bitching,
what do you call it?

Hmm?
What do you call it?

Hey, Junior...

anytime you want to have
a come-to-Jesus talk with me?

Put it on my next
week's agenda, okay?

Because you are not
talking to a deadbeat dad.

I've always kept it
real with you.

Yeah, that you have.

-You've always kept it real.
-Then I tell you what.

Stop feeling sorry
for yourself, son,

and get your stuff together.

You know, I got a question, Pop.

Hmm. What is it?

Why her?

Why who?

Elondra.

Who?

Elondra.

-Oh.
-I really liked her.

-Alright, alright.
-You really liked her?

Hey, he really liked her.

Son, you always do this.

Listen, you can't...

She is an employee, man.

You can't get too attached.

Women are a dime a dozen.

You know, that's cold
and it's not even like

I'm talking about marrying her.

-I just want to get to know her.
-What's there to know, son?

The girl's a floozy.

You got to be careful
with girls like that.

Girls like what?

Look, I'm walking with the girl
last night on the lake, right?

It wasn't five minutes
into our conversation,

she's trying to get a promotion.

-Really?
-Really.

Let me tell you something, son.

Despite what you think,
I love you.

Look at me.
I love you, son.

I do. I love you.

But you are a Bostick,

and damn it,
I need you to act like one.

Of course.

-I love you, too, Pops.
-Okay.

Are we done?

-Just one more thing.
-What's that?

I quit.

Mmm.

Water.

Good.

Take care of Harvey.

Not later.
Take care of him today, okay?

Hey, my son's gonna
take care of you.

All right, Ginny.
Love you, baby.

Water?

I don't know about this, guys.

You'll be fine, trust me.

You look so...

Girl, you're doing it, okay?

-Yeah?
-Yes.

Hooked up.

Lonnie: Who do
you think that is?

-You don't think that it's...?
-Oh, no. Who is it?

Can I come in?

You might as well come in.

You're already
halfway in anyway.

I just want Lonnie to know
that Mark is here

and he's pulling up
in the driveway as we speak.

Boo-yah.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

If he's still in the car
coming up the drive,

then how do you know his name?

And how do you know
that he's here for me?

Well, I...

Oh, hell no.
She's up to something.

-I can feel it in my spirits.
-Stop, stop. I'm listening.

Well, I kind of told him
to come by and talk to you.

I was just trying
to be a friend.

Lonnie, you want me
to get up and kick her ass?

Hell, yeah, whip her ass.

China: You know what? We've been
tired of you all week.

I'm gonna Tai-Bo professional
kick-kick-punch this speed bag.

-Lonnie: Sit down. Stop, please!
-I got your back.

You know what?

I don't want you to do anything.

You've done enough.

You have definitely done enough.

Everyone has just done enough.

This is...

This is my mess...

and I'll fix it.

All right, here you go.

I appreciate everything
you do, Mr. Blanks.

Thank you very much.

Hey, young man?

For the record,
nothing happened.

Excuse me?

I seen the way
you looked at me

when I walked out
baby girl's room.

Nothing happened.

Well, look, it's none
of my business what happened.

All right?

I overheard you
and your father talking.

I've known your father
for a long time.

Besides him being a good guy,

he can at times be full of crap.

Young man, he can't run
this company without you

and if you like baby girl,
go for it.

I think she's special.

There's something about her
that I just like inside.

Thanks, Harvey.

All right? Now,
if you'll excuse me, I gotta go.

Before you go, this here
check ain't gonna bounce, is it?

Just wait till Wednesday
to cash it, you'll be all right.

There you go again, see?
You and your daddy--

I'm for real.
Nah, I'm just playing.

You're a good young man.

-God bless, man.
-Thank you very much.

Can I get another water?

My goodness, Lonnie.

My God.
You look so beautiful.

Thank you.
You look good.

Thank you, baby.

-Mark, what are you doing here?
-I came to see you.

But you said you didn't
want to see me anymore.

Look, I really realized
how special you are to me

and I really couldn't take it
no more, baby.

I had to come see you.

Lonnie: Mark, it's over.

David, I can explain.

Yeah, I'm sure you can.

Is he the reason why you
don't answer your phone?

Hold on, hold on. Lonnie,
I was gonna ask the same thing.

Is he the reason why you
ain't picking up your phone?

Man, forget all that!
Punch him, all right?

I hate him.

With all due respect,
I just met her

and I'm not trying to come
between what you guys have.

Well, you know what?

With all due respect,
we're in the middle of something

-right here so deuces, partner.
-No, wait a minute.

Mark, look,
I'm flattered that you came

all the way out here
to see me

and I'm flattered that you want
to get back together, but...

-How do I know this is real?
-Baby, look me in my eyes.

You know me.

That's the problem, Mark.

I just looked you
in your eyes and...

-I don't feel anything.
-Wow.

Maybe a few days ago, I'd have
let you back into my life but...

Things are different now.

So that's what it is now?
That's how it's gonna be?

It's kind of been like that,
remember?

So, you heard her, man.
It's over.

So, if you don't mind, we're in
the middle of something.

So, deuces, bro.

You know what?

Lonnie, when you
come to your senses,

you know where
I'm gonna be at, all right?

Deuces, partner.
Watch yourself though.

All right?

-Bye. Drive safe.
-Bye. See you later.

-Lonnie, look.
-Look, David.

I know that there are
a lot of things to say,

but I just don't want
to say the wrong things

because I feel like it's
going to make things worse.

Don't say anything, then.

Just listen to me.
Walk with me.

David, I'm pretty sure
that you're a great guy...

but right now in my life
I'm just not trying to find out.

I'm just, I'm not in the mood
to explain myself to you,

to Mark, to your father,
to anybody. I just...

I think I need to be
by myself for a while.

I hope you understand.

Lonnie: Can we leave?
China: Come on, baby. Let's go.

Don't it feel good?
Feel all that cardio working.

Working on the side,

working that abdominal area
and everything.

Whoo! Where we going?
Let's see.

54... 55... five-o!

61, 62, 63, 64, 65.

Ooh, that feels good!

Hey, Mummy.

How is this supposed
to increase my fitness?

I have no idea, don't ask me.

All I know is that I did not pay
$69.99 for it. That is it.

-You've been crying.
-No, I haven't.

I don't cry anymore.

Yes, you do.

But you don't cry
on the outside.

You cry on the inside
where nobody can see it,

or feel it but you.

Whoo, sit down here.
We need to talk.

Hey, hey. Hey.

Don't bother.

She's not there.

Hey, Pop.

Hello, David.

How are you?

To be very honest with you,
I'm not very good, son.

That whole thing
about me needing you,

you were right.

Of course, I knew
that you were right then,

but I guess I was just
too damn arrogant to admit it.

Tell you what.

If you ever want to come back,

you don't even have to ask.

You know what? Hearing that
from you, Pop, means a lot.

Thank you.

So where is she?
Did she quit, too?

Quit? Oh, hell no. She didn't
quit. I offered her your job.

So, you still got
your sights on her?

Oh, absolutely,
son, absolutely.

Can I tell you something?

I would not have built
all this great business

without being an excellent
judge of character.

That girl there?

Lord, have mercy.

That girl there is going
to make a fine, fine wife.

Wife?

And she's gonna make me
a fine, fine daughter-in-law.

Are you...? Are you saying me?

Duh! Of course you.

Like I got another son out there
I don't know nothing about?

You know, I probably do
have another son out there.

I probably got hundreds of them
I don't know about.

I tell you what.

I don't know, perhaps
we could bribe someone

in Human Resources
to get her home address.

You think?

Thanks, Pop.

-Hurry up, son.
-All right.

-I love you, man.
-David: Love you, Pop.

Oh, David?

Hit that for Pops, huh?

Bam! But you know,
she's kind of aged, so sideways.

Bam! Like that.

Slanted.

Guys, back to work.

Yes, sir.

You heard him.
Back to work.

-David, what are you doing here?
-Look...

I'm here because...

for the first time in my life,

I met a woman
that I instantly connected with.

But, you barely even know me.

Tell me you haven't been
thinking about me

and I'll leave
and never bother you again.

David, I've thought about you...

but I've thought
about a lot of things

and I'm just tired.
I am so tired of being hurt.

I just can't do it anymore.

Then, just come with me.
I won't hurt you.

Listen, all I want to do
is watch a movie

and eat some
cheesecake with you.

Baby steps.

Baby steps?

Yes.

Really? A bootleg Weird Science?

David, these are five dollars.
You can get these anywhere.

I couldn't find
it nowhere else.

You can get this
for five dollars anywhere:

eBay, Amazon.com...

You have way too much money
to be buying a bootleg.

I checked.
Nowhere else I could find it,

or I would have been
here a week ago.

All right, you got me.
You got me.

Now, can you please
come watch a movie with me?

-I love you.
-I love you, too.

Girl, I'm about to cry.

Does this cake have egg in it?

Everybody run.
She's gonna blow.

*