All language subtitles for The BASTARD Executioner - Ep. 04 - A Hunger (720p AMZN Web-DL)

The Bastard Executioner.

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The Bastard Executioner.

Previously on The
Bastard Executioner:

WILKIN: Leon Tell.
He torments me.

Petra's cross hung
about his noble neck.

(laughing)

Every glint of that sapphire
mocks my hesitation

to plunge a blade
into his heart!

TORAN: As I want to plunge
a blade into the man

who slaughtered my wife and son.

The Reeve must stay alive
until we all have our truth.

Baroness, at this very moment,

our king is deciding the
fate of Ventrishire.

I travel to Windsor
in two weeks' time.

Summoned by His Majesty

to receive guidance
on how we govern.

Why are you doing this?

Our buried truths bind us.

And your skills will serve me.

(shouting, grunting)

WILKIN: Our deep secret

can cut both ways.

CORBETT: I could
lose my position.

And you,

your soldier, your new
wife and children...

All of you will most
certainly lose your heads.

I would venture to say
you are more skilled

than my most honored knights.

You are a mystery to
me, Master Gawain.

As I am to myself, my lady.

(Jessamy moans)

Please...

(gasping)

Please...

Oh, God...

(gasps)

(Pippa fusses)

(cooing gently)

Maddy...

I'm here, little one.

(Jessamy mutters breathily)

(men conversing indistinctly)

MAN: My lady.

(horse splutters)

So this is what you do when I sleep.
My lady.

You should be resting.

That's a bit rougher than
you're used to, Love.

After six days of riding,

dear Isabel,

I feel a bit rough.

(stifled cough)

MAN (in distance): There!

Come on! (quietly): This way!

Hyah!

Go!

Yah!

This way, master.

This way.

No!

(gasps)

Run!

(grunts)

(grunting)

Oh! Oh! Oh...!

The Rosula holds no god.

And the Seraphim hold too many.

Please...

protect him.

* Born with a heart

* That could ache
more than beat *

* The mind of a killer

* The soul of the meek

* Flock with no shepherd

* Is a vulnerable game

* I can live without a hearth *

* Without love

* But I do need a name

* Father, do you burn

* If your hand is in fire?

* Does your head
spin with rage *

* When fooled by the liars?

* King of the kings

* Do you feel any pain?

* Do you feel any pain?

Why do you still love me?

I promised I would always
protect you and I could not.

Love that is true...

holds no condition.

It changes shape,

filling the cracks

in our heart to stop
it from breaking.

Our love will exist always,

through any trial of
time or circumstance.

Yea.

I feel that.

And I am afraid I will never
find that love again.

You already have.

I didn't mean to stir
you affright, my love.

Do not my kisses give comfort?

The boy is fetching water

and the baby sleeps
after a good suckling.

(sighs)

This is not natural.

A husband and wife

need to be close.

God has put me in this place.

With you.

I will learn to be close.

Learn...?!

Have you not loved me always?

(door bangs open,
Pippa begins crying)

Boy!

Sorry, Mother.

It's all right, lad.

Hey! Hey!

Hup! Hup!

(rooster crowing)

Another morning venture?

Just tending to the tasks
of our trade, chamberlain.

And what task calls you
to the Far Caverns

nearly every new day?

You've had spies on our trail?

No.

Just... curious observers.

LEON: Chamberlain...
MAN: Open the gate!

Our honored guests have arrived.

Who is this puffed-up crag?

WILKIN: Don't know. It's
Baron Pryce, Maddy.

You did service in
Pryceshire, but last month.

They gave you no fair wage.

We left in haste for this shire.

If we left in haste,
perhaps an apology

is due to those we served.
Well advised, Marshal.

Any of Pryce's
nobles on this ride

we may have encountered
before, good wife?

I believe only the
chamberlain...

He was there when you
were unjustly paid.

Welcome to Castle
Ventris, good Baron.

You are an honored
and welcomed guest.

Do not waste your
honey on me, Corbett.

Where's the baroness?

Regretfully on her
way to Windsor.

The king demanded an audience.

What? She's not here?
She's the one who pleaded

for this visit. Baron Pryce

has traveled two long days
on the back of a hard steed,

leaving the side of
his ailing wife.

Lady Love is deeply contrite

but, as you know, when His
Majesty calls, all...

must answer. She
left but yesterday.

Then why did you not
dispatch a messenger?

Simple arithmetic,

Sir Dyer.

A messenger sent yesterday

would have met you
beyond the midway

of our shires. I
thought it most wise

to have you complete
your journey.

Allow your caravan to rest.

If you were indeed,
most wise, Sir Corbett,

your baron would
be here in flesh,

and not but a stone
effigy at your bridge.

It seems we have little choice

but to stay the night.

The baroness left
nearly a week ago.

An observation which
serves no purpose.

We need to make a full day of
our ride to the Sea Caves.

We cannot risk this noble
finding another face on Maddox.

What of Corbett and
his observers?

There will be no
journey today, Maddox.

Our chamberlain has
planned a tournament

for the nobles of Pryceshire.

He wants his able
punisher in the fray.

You as well, Marshal.

(doors creak open)

MAN: Welcome!

(man laughs)

Welcome!

Is this...

Lady Love Ventris?

Huh? If so,

then God truly is a
gifted gardener,

for he has planted the
finest flower of Wales

at Windsor Castle today.

LADY LOVE: Thank you, sir.

I am Lady Love Ventris.

And by your charm and
pleasant visage,

I must assume you are the
honored Earl of Cornwall.

My manners.

Forgive me, but it seems
your radiant beauty

has robbed me of courtly reason.

Piers Gaveston.

Trusted advisor to His Majesty,
King Edward the Second.

Thank you, Sir Gaveston.

Your flattery puts me at ease.

But I do hope your
reason returns.

We have so much more
than beauty to discuss.

Indeed, Baroness.

The king has requested that you
join him for his midday meal.

He is most eager to discuss
the future of Ventrishire.

How soon can you be...

presentable?

We have had a very long journey.

Perhaps some time to refresh.
Of course.

Servants will show you
to your quarters.

I will see to fitting
you with a proper gown.

I serve at the king's pleasure.

(quietly): "Presentable"?

You wear your finest, my lady.
That man shows you no...

That man is the voice
in the king's ear,

with influence to sway Edward in
the direction that he chooses.

Come...

let us see if we might transform
me into something more...

presentable.

What is it?

I do not think Wilkin
will make the ride today.

It is best you leave here.

Make camp along the coast.

CALO: Why?

What fate lands here?

Please.

Trust my warning.

I never seen her
like that before.

What will happen, healer?

I do not know.

I sense trouble.

This sense,

do you see things
that might happen?

I feel them.

Through the people they touch.

BERBER: Where is your mate?

ANNORA: He's in the
Western Coves.

He gathers red coral
for my cures.

You are frightened.

Yes.

But more for others
than for myself.

If Wilkin doesn't come,
the burden of your safety

falls to his friends.

That is as kind as it is unwise.

BERBER: Perhaps.

But that is how it will be.

Thank you, good Moor.

(sighs)

If you'd told me, when I
was a girl, that one day

I would be a guest of the king,

my heart would have
been bursting with joy.

It is thrilling. It should be.

But I feel no
thrill, just dread.

So much depends upon the
outcome of this meet.

Perhaps it was unwise
to not bring counsel.

Do you remember the
Boar of Black Oak?

Lord Cradoc's son, Morgan.

Yes, a portly,
harsh-looking boy.

Tiny eyes.

Who did not look favorably
upon the daughter

of a Welsh lord befriending the
daughter of a house servant.

No, he did not.

There was a day Morgan decided

to show me my proper place.

Yes.

We were playing, and he
chased you into the stables,

pinned you to the ground.

He was chastising you.

And as he raised a
hand to strike me,

suddenly he yelped like a
dog, then fell to the dirt.

And there you were,

shovel in hand, the
lioness of Wales.

Afraid of no one.

Secure of heart.

I'm afraid there is no comparing
the boars of our childhood

with the royal beasts
we presently face.

You'll handle this situation
as you do all others.

With grace and strength.

Whatever happened
to Morgan the Boar?

Very sad.

While traveling home one night,
he was devoured by wolves,

who mistook him for a
fat, two-legged hog.

That is horrible.

And a story you just invented.

(chuckles)

Pardon, Chamberlain.

A report somewhat
disturbing, I'm afraid.

What now? Foot soldiers
discovered a body

along the south court
trail this morning.

Limbs severed, body carved
with devil symbols.

A sacrifice

of some kind. Shit.

I've seen the remains.

It was murder.

By a hideous hand.

Be certain that your men
say nothing of this crime.

I do not want Baron
Pryce thinking

that Satan dances at our gate.

Shouldn't you be preparing
for the contest, Maddox,

impressing Pryceshire
with your earthy swagger?

That would be unwise.
For Maddox.

My beloved wife has reminded
me that I was in Pryceshire

before coming here.

In service to their chamberlain.

(wry chuckle)

Dyer? Mm.

Anyone else who would have
known the face of Maddox?

Not in this caravan.

Good.

Do not concern yourself
with Sir Dyer.

He plants himself so deeply
inside his baron's ass,

he has no vision beyond
those bony cheeks.

And if he realizes I'm
not Gawain Maddox?

The Pryceshire chamberlain
will not disrupt

your happy, new life.

You have my word.

As much comfort as your
word gives me, Chamberlain,

do not forget,

you've as much to
lose in this as I do.

(man screaming)

(groaning in agony)

There is no need for all
this suffering, Tobias.

We only want to find
the other Seraphim,

so that we may help translate

the sacred text you all wear.

There's nothing more

you can take from me...

Robinus.

I have no more.

(knocking on door)
ROBINUS: Attendez.

You've been summoned
above, master.

A demand for more meaningless
counsel, I am sure.

Thank you, Sir Cormac.

Has this one come
forth with anything?

He has not.

Continue the work, my son.

Yes, master.

Take the eye.

(screaming)

(screaming continues
in distance)

GAVESTON: Ah, you have a gift

of divine timing, good Father.

His Majesty requests counsel.

I am here.

At the king's beckoning.

As I am yours.

Ah, Lady Ventris.

May I introduce His Holiness,

the Archdeacon of Windsor.

The Baroness from Wales.

My deepest
condolences, my child.

Thank you, Archdeacon.

It is an honor to meet a man

of such holy prestige.

I am but a humble
cleric, my lady.

Serving God is my only prestige.

Take the baroness and her maiden
to the king's day chamber.

You may wait there
for His Majesty.

May I ask a question,
Sir Gaveston?

Oh, no.

Do not worry, Baroness.

The dress looks lovely.

The king will be pleased.

He loves golden things.

Find me a shovel.

Is this why

the baroness needed to meet?

To have me review her ledgers?

Of course not.

But I thought your time here
might be put to good purpose.

Allow you to gain
knowledge of our shire.

It does not take much knowledge
to see that Ventrishire

has more debt than
it does resources.

Only if one looks at the
present limitations.

With men and resources,

we could clear the rugged
beach and build a port.

That allows larger

seafaring vessels.

It would make.

Ventrishire the
center of all imports

and exports west of the marsh.

The shire would earn a tariff

on all goods coming and going.

That is a decision for the king.

Perhaps.

But I know, dear Baron,

that before Longshanks
divided Pryceshire

and gave this coastal half

to his favorite constable,
that you, indeed,

had similar plans
for such a port.

Is there a reason
why you torment me

will this ill-fated history?

Even if His Majesty
allows the baroness

to remain in power, we do
not have the resources

to build anything.

You, however, have
wealth to spare.

After all these years
of abusive taxation

from your now deceased baron,

why should I lend the shire
even half a shilling?

Oh, there would be
no lending, sir.

Because the shire
would be yours.

Lady Love

is a widow...

and her rule is in the
hands of a frivolous king.

There are only two things that
would trump such a decision...

An heir of Ventris...

Or marriage to an
appointed noble.

You are quite aware that
I'm already married.

Yes.

And forgive my boldness, Baron,

but I am told that the
Lady Trula's consumption

grows beyond the prospect

of a return to wellness.

You are indeed
bold, Chamberlain.

Yes, eh, I'm sorry, Baron.

I mean no disrespect.

Sometimes my love of
a brighter future

clouds my reason.

I am, I confess, a
bit of a dreamer.

In this dream,

I presume you would
be my chamberlain.

I believe that would
serve you best.

And your baroness...

Is she open to such
an arrangement?

Lady Love would do anything

to hold on to her beloved land.

Although your good
looks and charms

would be enough to
sway any woman.

You've given this much
thought, Corbett.

Perhaps too much.

Well, give thought to this.

I foresee two obstacles.

My chamberlain, Sir Dyer,

his family has influence
with the king.

Losing his position would wound

his pride and prestige.

Indeed.

And the other?

The other?

The other is God's will.

He may well see fit to return
my wife to good health.

Of course. One could only hope.

I will give both

deep thought.

We've been here nearly
two hours, my lady.

You must be starving.

I'm fine.

You're well aware that one
never eats before the king.

Well, the king may have

to step over our ghostly bodies,

for we will surely
faint with hunger.

Perhaps just a
plum or a crust...

Sit down, maiden.

I don't like the French.

The French will survive
without your support.

Book of Exodus.

One of my favorites.

I like Bible stories.

Can you read any of it?

No, sir.

I'm too dull-minded.

Who told you that?

My father.

I'm-I'm sorry.

It's all right to
speak the truth.

But my mother... Is afraid.

Yes.

Your father...

he hurt you and your
mother, didn't he?

When we deserved it.

No innocent deserves
to be hurt, Luca.

And you're not dull of mind.

You're one of the
brightest boys I've met.

I have a deal to offer.

I'll teach you how to read

if you help me with
your mother's worry.

May I still call you father?

Of course.

Moor! Moor!

It's Calo.

Where is he going?

He wouldn't say.

Hey.

I'm taking the healer's warning.

I promised her we would stay.

We've been here for
nearly two months,

and we are no closer to
avenging our families.

It's time to go. ASH: Go where?

It doesn't matter.

Waiting here will
bring a worse fate.

What would your brother do?

Aron would stay.

Aron is dead.

Because of me.

That is not true.

Then you should go.

What of Wilk and Toran?
They won't protest.

They understand the
plight of boys.

I am not a boy.

Boys run from the things
they are afraid of.

And you're not afraid, Moor?
All the time.

But I look at my fear...

and I pray to find some
small piece of bravery

to face it.

Travel safe, my friend.

(groaning, gasping)

(yells, panting)

(door opening)

He gives nothing. It's the same

as the other three, master.

And the scroll he was carrying?

Well, the text is of
similar Aramaic origin,

but the symbols that alter it...

They're different
from the other three.

So that nothing learnt from one
can be used to decipher another.

Yes. The code is well-conceived.

(Tobias whimpers and groans)

This was some kind of message.

A warning, perhaps,
to another Seraphim.

We found Tobias at the port,

near western-bound vessels.

They wend the river and
channel to the Irish Sea.

Go to the king's map room.

Consider what we have learnt,

and make sound judgment of
where he was to journey.

Yes, master.

And what of Tobias?

The fate of the others.

Fin de I'hérésie.

(panting)

(yells, groans)

(sword whacks, Tobias screams)

(sword whacks, Tobias screams)

(Tobias screams, sobs)

(footsteps approaching)

I beg your pardon...

but my lady wants to be
certain that she is waiting

in the right chamber
to meet the king.

LADY LOVE: Unlike

my maiden, the king's
servants know not

to speak of things
beyond their status.

I am sorry, Baroness.

I am so lost here.

I don't know how to help.

Oh, bollocks.

My lady.

I'm sure our generous king will
not mind sharing a few scraps

with his misbegotten
Welsh children.

Stop smiling.

(blows thudding,
groaning, laughter)

(minstrels play lilting music)

(fighters groaning,
men cheering)

(cheering and laughter)

(spectators murmur and groan)

(men shout indistinctly)

(laughter and jeering)

(low, indistinct conversation)

(fighters grunt and
groan, men cheer)

(applause and cheering)

MAN: What a match! What a match!

(men laughing in distance)

A warrior's dressing hangs
well on you, Maddox.

It's as if you were
born to wear it.

WILKIN: We both may
be wearing rags

of the condemned by sunup.

Do not concern yourself.

I promise you no utterance

of a false punisher will
ever reach the ears of law.

(men cheer in distance)

(men laughing in distance)

MAN: Did it again!

(no voice)

(kisses) (men laughing)

(men laughing)

(indistinct chatter in distance)

(men groan and laugh)

(cheering, applause,
indistinct shouting)

Hey! Back, Marshal!

Go, Marshal!

MAN: Go on, Marshal!

Come on!

Go, Marshal!

(grunting)

(indistinct chatter)

(grunting)

(applause and cheering)

(laughing)

(bird squawks in distance)

(hoofbeats approaching)

(panting)

Shit.

Coward!

(groaning)

(horse whinnies) (gasps)

(groans) Over there yet.
Over there!

What is this? You've been placed

in custody of the court
to determine guilt.

Guilt of what?

Aah! Hey!

(Ash grunts in pain)

(grunting) Aah!

(growling)

Come on!

(screams)

(distant grunting, shouting)

*

Yah!

(men laughing)

Punisher!

Your men are most
handedly schooling mine

in the art of warfare.

(shouting)

(men murmuring, chattering)

Once we marry our forces, Baron,

we will have the most
skilled and feared army

in the whole of Wales.

I must confess,

an army of might in these times

does bring comfort, huh?

(chuckles)

You should get comfortable
with the prospect

of doubling your resources.

(Baron Pryce chuckles)

Yah!

(grunts)

(men laugh and cheer)

Bravo! MAN: Finish him!

I do not think it wise

to let those wench sisters

disgrace the Baron.

CORBETT: I would
be more concerned

with the disgrace of your
knights, dear Henry.

(men exclaim, applaud)

Yes.

I see you make brutal sport
of the weakness in our ranks.

We gave your men
every advantage.

Why, that man over there
isn't even a soldier.

We put in but our
punisher, Maddox.

Maddox?

Yes. Gawain Maddox.

An executioner.

Came up from the southern
lands not that long ago.

(men laughing, chattering)

Well done, Maddox.

(yells)

(men laughing)

LEON: It seems our man

needs a greater challenge.

(men agreeing, applauding)

MAN: Okay... (chuckles)

(men cheering)

(grunting)

MAN: Now, that's bizarre.

MAN: He's back... he's back up.

MAN 2: Is that right?

(grunting)

(men laughing, groaning)

MAN: What's he on about?

Yah!

MAN: Finish it!

MAN 2: Nice. MAN 3: Got it now.

(men exclaiming, groaning)

(yells)

(yells)

MAN: Come on, do it, Maddox.
MAN 2: Just do it!

(grunts)

(laughs)

(minstrels resume
playing lilting music)

(scattered applause,
men murmuring)

(crickets chirping,
fire crackling)

Baroness!

What?

The king is ready to see you.

LADY LOVE: See me?

Now, at this hour?

(sighs)

His favorite time of day.

(chuckles softly)

He is in the hunting garden.

Servants will show you
when you are dressed.

(sighs)

I do not like the French.

(men laughing heartily)

Can you see it?

MAN: Too much wine, you
cannot even see it.

(laughter)

(all cheering)

So close!

(laughing)

(men speaking French)

MAN: All the way back.

(all cheering)

(cheers, laughter)

Bravo!

(speaks French)

MAN: Your Majesty, eh?

GALVESTON: The Welsh Baroness.

(laughs)

Ventrishire.

Ah. Yes.

Come, my dear.

Your Majesty.

An honor to finally meet you.

EDWARD: Yes, yes. Uh...

I offer our sadness
and, uh, deep sympathy

on the baron's passing.

Thank you, sire.

Your gifts of condolence
were quite generous.

Yes. Good.

(chuckles)

You are but a...

petite scarabée d'or.

(chuckles)

Oh.

A little golden beetle.

Yes.

MAN: Your pull, Majesty.

Uh, yes. Oh.

So lovely to, uh, to meet you.

Your Majesty...

Forgive me taking
time away from...

uh, sport,

but I was summoned
to receive counsel

on the future of my shire.

Sir Gaveston will have,
uh, discussion...

uh, approfondi yes?

Uh, with my chancellor.

Of course, sire.

We will make the
soundest decision.

Ah!

Perfect.

Allow me to walk you
back, Baroness.

Allez. (clicks tongue)

Did you know all along

that he would simply hand
my fate over to you?

The marsh territories
frustrate the king.

His time is best spent

on more considerable
matters here at home.

Are we but a frustration?

A thing to take time
away from games of boys?

My father and his father
before him ruled that shire

with kindness and grace
for over 50 years.

When Longshanks betrayed us,

took Wales for his own,

I married Erik Ventris
with an agreement...

That my family would be allowed
safe passage to Scotland,

and that the castle I grew up
in would be given to an heir.

I am moved by your
devotion, dear Love.

But the only agreements
that matter...

are the ones you make now.

I will let you get back

to your more considerable
matters, Sir Gaveston.

And this little golden beetle

will crawl back to her
marshland dung heap.

(door clanks open)

This is not Gawain Maddox.

The punisher with the same name

had a similar scar, but he
was slighter in stature.

I so appreciate you keeping

your suspicions to
yourself, Sir Dyer.

Now that all doubt
had been lifted,

Baron Pryce will be informed.

Have you gone mad?

I promised you he wouldn't
utter a word of your secret,

and now you will
make sure of it.

Make sure of what?

That he never utters.

Kill him.

I will not.

This is your poison.

No, Brattle, this is
our mother's milk.

This is what we
are, what we know.

I'm not a man who does this.

(scoffs)

CORBETT: They have been taken
into the custody of manor law,

under the suspicion of a
brutal satanic murder.

They've done no crime.

Everyone you love or care about

is either dead or within
my grasp to make that so.

He is a pompous annoyance.

God will cheer when he
drops down to hell.

Give it a natural twist.

Drunk, hit his head,
something simple.

And I will make
sure that his death

is found to be an
unfortunate accident.

(sighs)

(shudders, gasps)

Corbett...

and you,

you cast your eyes on
the words of the Lord.

Your soul is as
false as your name.

(grunting)

(Dyer gagging)

(gagging)

(sighs deeply)

(knocking on door)

I see you are prepared
for your journey.

I wished to do this
over a morning meal,

but as you appear
to be in haste...

I have taken counsel with
the king's chancellor.

He will draft a
decree of division.

Ventrishire will be
divided into thirds.

Two territories going to
the neighboring shires...

and the third... (chuckles)

the coastal area
with the castle...

Will fall to my authority.

And that decision is final?

(wry chuckle) Indeed, Baroness.

It is most final.

Have a safe journey.

And, please, keep the
gown as our gift

for your loyalty and patience.

I'm afraid the gown
will soon be of no use.

Nor will the decree of division.

I am with heir.

Blessed gift from my
departed husband.

That was the news I wished
to share with the king.

Thank you for your
hospitality, Sir Gaveston.

You may send your
servants for our things.

Au revoir.

LADY LOVE (distant): Isabel!

What? Oh, yes.

Au revoir.

Your baroness never
requested a visit, did she?

A deception, good Baron,
compelled by my divine sense

that our shires deserve the
fruits of a greater tree.

It seems Sir Dyer's tree bore
fruit a bit more deadly.

CORBETT: Yes.

A sad and fainthearted
way to die.

Fowl bones.

You're an impressive
man, Corbett.

And yet my admiration is matched
by an equal part of caution.

Embrace the former, good Baron.

You will hear from me soon.

ASH: No!

No!

No, no, please!

Please, no! No!

Please...! Get down!

(echoing): Please,
no, come back!

(Berber screams in agony)

(groans, gasps)

SOLDIER: Lock it!

(keys rattling)

Master.

I've consulted the
maps and tide charts.

One of these ports or shires

would've been
Seraphim's destination.

*

*

(no voice)

Jessamy!

(gasps)

Why would you do this?

I don't, Maddy.

You do.

As you have always done
when we need correction.

(sniffling, crying quietly)

It's all right, son.

I'm here.

(sighs deeply)

I'm here.

Captioned by Media
Access Group at WGBH

(metal ringing)

The Bastard Executioner.

All new, Tuesdays
at 10:00 on FX.

[ Man ] The battle has begun.

An evil is spreading.

We must fight to save
our civilization.

Fight or die. [ Growling ]

[ Announcer ] The Strain. All-new.
Sundays at 10:00.

On FX.

(knocking)

(electricity crackling)

(knocking continues)

(ticking)

(bird calling)

(siren wailing)

(bell dinging)

Fargo. All new,
Mondays at 10:00.

Starts October 12 on FX.

[ Both Exhale ]

That was... Yeah, I know, right?

Who were you thinking about?
Oh, God, baby.

Matt Damon. Ah.

I was thinking about that
woman who does carpool.

With the forehead. Oh, God.

Stop talking.

Just stop talking.

Married. All new,
Thursdays at 10:30.

Only on FX.

[ Crowd Cheering ] A fantasy
league is like a family...

Said no one ever.

I have achieved more than I
ever thought possible...

A checking account,
unlimited texting.

Win or lose, it's how
you play your friends.

Do I have any regrets?
Yeah. Tony Romo.

History is not written by the winners.
It's written by the cheaters.

My mother always wondered,
how low can you go?

Well, Mom, pretty low.

The League. All new,
Wednesdays at 10:00.

Only on FXX.