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{\an8}[thrilling orchestral music playing]
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{\an8}[narrator] Four years ago,
Nick and Audrey Spitz
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00:00:39,041 --> 00:00:42,375
solved some of the most
high-profile murders of the century.
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00:00:42,875 --> 00:00:43,958
- [music continues]
- [gasps]
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[Audrey] Oh my God! Oh my God!
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00:00:48,708 --> 00:00:50,875
- Should we pull it out?
- No, it's a foot-long knife.
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- [all screaming]
- I'll put it back in.
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- Don't put it back.
- [all moaning and yelling]
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[narrator]
Like many overnight success stories,
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00:00:57,083 --> 00:00:59,666
Nick and Audrey
immediately quit their jobs
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00:00:59,666 --> 00:01:01,416
and poured their life savings
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00:01:01,416 --> 00:01:04,375
into pursuing a career
as private investigators.
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00:01:04,375 --> 00:01:05,708
- [loud crunching]
- [Audrey] Hmm.
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00:01:06,458 --> 00:01:07,416
Uh...
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00:01:07,416 --> 00:01:09,041
- Yeah.
- Would you excuse me?
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Mm. Yes, not a problem.
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[crunching continues]
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Are you kidding me right now
with those potato chips?
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00:01:14,458 --> 00:01:18,041
Are you seriously yelling at me?
I watched you eat two shrimp cocktails.
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00:01:18,041 --> 00:01:20,625
Stop distracting me. Okay?
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[narrator] Unfortunately,
it's not going very well.
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Men get to a certain stage in their life.
It's nothing to do with you.
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Not all men.
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- No, but--
- Don't get mad at me for this.
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- [door closes]
- [woman] You've been cheating on me, Ron.
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- Really? After 25 years?
- [sighs]
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[Ron] Baby...
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I've been going out on my own so I could
plan a surprise wedding anniversary.
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- No, that's so sweet!
- That's...
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- [Ron] Come on. I love you.
- I'm so sorry.
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Excuse us, you guys.
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If you don't mind just paying this bill,
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we'll be out of your lovebuggin' hair.
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- A bill? You're billing her?
- Yeah, no.
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We made a deal--
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You were hitting on me!
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- I was undercover.
- Pretend--
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This keeps getting better and better.
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[narrator] With business struggling,
Nick and Audrey
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could only pray for a miracle...
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You better run!
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...that someone close to them
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would be killed.
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[soft high-pitched sounds echoing]
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[low snorting, moaning]
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Oh God!
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Honey, honey, honey. Hey!
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Can't you put on beach waves
or something nice?
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[Nick] The whale noises
help me fall asleep.
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00:02:26,833 --> 00:02:29,208
- You took away my Ambien, so...
- [Audrey] You know why?
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Remember the last time you took Ambien?
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You went sleepwalking into the lobby
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wearing my underwear, and then
you started watering the couch.
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I don't remember doing that.
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Look. Doorman took a picture.
It's my screen saver.
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00:02:41,125 --> 00:02:43,291
- Uh, that's somebody else.
- [Audrey] Okay.
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Listen, baby, if you can't sleep, um,
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we could try to, uh,
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{\an8}knock out a chapter together.
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00:02:52,875 --> 00:02:54,083
{\an8}[Nick] I read a few pages.
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That guy doesn't know
what he's talking about.
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[Audrey] Honey, this is the guy
that wrote the test.
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The test you need to take to get licensed.
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[Nick] I was a real cop.
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00:03:01,666 --> 00:03:04,291
I don't need some piece of paper
telling me I know what I'm doing.
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I know what I'm doing!
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00:03:05,375 --> 00:03:08,083
But we both agreed
that it would help our business
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00:03:08,083 --> 00:03:10,208
if we just, you know, took the course.
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Do you really think our business
is struggling because of that?
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I think we would get better clientele
if both of us were licensed.
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Only way to get better clientele
is better marketing.
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Better marketing?
Like your floss business cards?
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- Yes.
- [Audrey] Seriously? God!
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It's called "disruptive marketing."
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It's not disruptive. It's confusing.
We're not dentists. We're--
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[whale noises start up]
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I can talk louder than the sound machine.
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- [volume increasing]
- [Audrey] Honey, come on!
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[Nick] Fine. Forget it.
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Do you not wanna do this anymore?
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I do. I wanna do this. It's just...
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It's all we ever do is talk about work.
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Do you know any couples who also
work together that actually get along?
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Billie Eilish and Finneas.
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They're brother and sister.
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Look, baby, I know this isn't
what we pictured when we got into this--
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[cell phone playing Indian hip-hop music]
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What the hell is that?
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Uh, it's my phone.
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[phone continues ringing and vibrating]
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Yo! Rajah! Namaste. What's up, my brother?
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[Maharajah]
Yo! What are you doing, Nicky Nick?
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Are you mowing your lawn or something?
What do I hear right now?
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Yo, I'm chillin' on a Jet Ski, dog!
[laughs]
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On a Jet Ski and on the phone
at the same time?
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[Maharajah] Yo, Nick.
Broski. My brosephus.
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The Maharajah is getting married!
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Oh, that's incredible!
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Let me tell Audrey. Audrey!
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He's getting married.
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- What?
- [Nick] Oh yeah.
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Vik! Congratulations!
We're so happy for you!
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00:04:35,583 --> 00:04:38,958
Thank you! She's a dime piece from Paris.
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You know,
where the Eiffel Tower is and shit.
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I'm getting married this weekend
on my new private island.
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I want you and Nick to come,
all expenses paid.
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I need to see you two ballers
out on the dance floor busting a nut!
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"Busting a move," you mean.
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Nah, dude, I got...
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Oh shit!
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[yells]
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- [line disconnects]
- What's happening?
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Did you hear "all-expenses-paid"?
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- We have to work this weekend.
- I gotta say, I could use a getaway.
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Remember what happened
last time we went on a getaway?
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Yeah, some people died.
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Not s-- A lot of people.
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You think five people dying's a lot?
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All right. Hold on.
Just gonna think for a second.
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- She's caving in.
- Okay, so...
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- She's caving in.
- Just wait.
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No. Go ahead.
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Okay, I do agree.
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I think we could both use
a little bit of a break.
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00:05:26,291 --> 00:05:27,666
- A break?
- From all this.
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- Just no work for a minute, you know?
- Not--
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- It's--
- No. For at least a weekend.
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The whole weekend.
We can... Let's not... Let's just...
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Our minds need the no work.
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- I can't talk--
- I got chills! Goosebumps!
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'Cause we're gonna do this, aren't we?
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[dynamic music playing]
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- Wow. How about that. Mm-hmm.
- Such a good decision.
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You like the view, Mr. and Mrs. Shitz?
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00:05:50,250 --> 00:05:53,000
Oh. You know what?
Excuse me. I'm so sorry. It's...
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We're Nick and Audrey Spitz. It's, um...
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00:05:55,875 --> 00:05:58,250
But, yes, it's a gorgeous view.
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Would you like some music,
Mr. and Mrs. Shitz?
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00:06:01,125 --> 00:06:04,625
We're the Spitzes not the Shitzes. Okay?
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00:06:04,625 --> 00:06:08,250
Yes, I have some Pitbull
or, uh, Taylor Shitz.
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00:06:08,250 --> 00:06:12,208
- Okay. He's sticking with the Shitz.
- Puts "Shitz" at the end of everything.
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Where are you from?
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I'm, uh, from the, uh... European!
144
00:06:16,583 --> 00:06:18,041
We're guessing Shitzerland?
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[both laughing]
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00:06:20,416 --> 00:06:22,000
[laughing]
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♪ Ooh, girl, don't you stop
Tell your mom, girl ♪
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♪ And I won't stop it
Until you're mine, girl ♪
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00:06:27,666 --> 00:06:29,708
♪ And you can't stop that
Until you're mine, girl ♪
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00:06:29,708 --> 00:06:32,750
♪ And I can't find out what you want ♪
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00:06:32,750 --> 00:06:35,916
♪ Tell your mom, girl, and I won't stop it
Until you're mine, girl ♪
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00:06:35,916 --> 00:06:38,708
♪ And you can't stop that
Until you're mine, girl, ha ♪
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♪ Ooh, girl, don't you stop... ♪
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00:06:40,833 --> 00:06:43,583
[Nick] Let me get off this.
What the heck? Thank you!
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[Audrey] This is unbelievable!
I'm gonna cry!
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00:06:45,708 --> 00:06:49,208
- Did we die? Are we in heaven? What the--
- [gasps] This is so nice!
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00:06:49,208 --> 00:06:52,750
The flamingos got diapers on
so they don't crap the lawn!
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00:06:52,750 --> 00:06:53,708
[Audrey] Wow!
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00:06:54,583 --> 00:06:56,583
[Vik shouting] Nick and Audrey!
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- Hey! My man!
- Hey, hey, hey!
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00:06:58,083 --> 00:07:00,375
- Maharajah!
- [Vik] The heroes of Lake Como!
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And my sister and my brother
from another mother!
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00:07:04,666 --> 00:07:06,208
- [continues exclaiming]
- [Audrey] Oh my God!
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00:07:06,208 --> 00:07:09,000
- Hey! Oh my God!
- [all whooping]
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00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:10,291
- [Nick] Look at you!
- Oh!
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00:07:10,291 --> 00:07:14,208
Nick and Audrey, may I present to you
Mademoiselle Claudette Joubert.
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[in French] Joubert.
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[in English] I'm Audrey.
It is such a pleasure to meet you.
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00:07:18,250 --> 00:07:20,500
You are more beautiful
than Vikram described.
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00:07:20,500 --> 00:07:23,208
[Audrey] Oh! Oh. Oh.
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00:07:23,208 --> 00:07:25,250
- That's funny. Got 'em all.
- Oh!
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Four? I thought it was two.
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And Nick.
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00:07:28,416 --> 00:07:31,000
- I've been wanting to meet you.
- All right!
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Congratulations.
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00:07:34,041 --> 00:07:38,083
Thank you. I appreciate that.
Yeah. I love it.
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- Okay! All right, stop!
- [Nick] What happened?
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00:07:40,458 --> 00:07:42,208
[Audrey] Cut it out!
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00:07:42,208 --> 00:07:43,291
[Claudette] Please, come.
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00:07:43,291 --> 00:07:46,083
[Audrey] I have to tell you,
Paris is my favorite city in the world.
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00:07:46,083 --> 00:07:49,833
- When was the last time you were there?
- Hmm. Oh, I've actually not been there.
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00:07:49,833 --> 00:07:53,083
But I just know from the movies
and from the pictures and--
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00:07:53,083 --> 00:07:56,291
[Nick] Hey, thanks for the wedding invite.
So happy you could squeeze us in.
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00:07:56,291 --> 00:07:57,916
- [Vik] No, for sure, man!
- Unbelievable!
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00:07:57,916 --> 00:07:59,791
We had extra seats 'cause my parents died.
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00:07:59,791 --> 00:08:01,583
- Ooh! I'm--
- Oh! I'm so sorry.
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00:08:01,583 --> 00:08:02,708
[Nick] That's terrible.
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00:08:02,708 --> 00:08:04,958
[laughs] No! I'm just kidding!
189
00:08:04,958 --> 00:08:07,208
Oh, okay. So, they're coming?
190
00:08:07,208 --> 00:08:10,416
Uh, no, they died,
but they were never gonna come.
191
00:08:11,208 --> 00:08:12,250
'Cause I hated them.
192
00:08:12,250 --> 00:08:14,833
- There you go. All right. That's--
- Okay.
193
00:08:14,833 --> 00:08:17,791
Oh. Colonel, you know the Spitzes.
194
00:08:17,791 --> 00:08:19,333
- What?
- Colonel!
195
00:08:19,333 --> 00:08:20,625
My friends!
196
00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:22,875
- My God!
- Oh my God. What happened to your arm?
197
00:08:23,541 --> 00:08:25,166
Is it that noticeable?
198
00:08:25,166 --> 00:08:29,000
Last time we saw you,
you had a lot more of... of your arm.
199
00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:32,583
Well, if I had to lose one,
that would be the one to lose
200
00:08:32,583 --> 00:08:34,750
because it's already missing a hand.
201
00:08:34,750 --> 00:08:37,541
You don't have to share the armrest now
at the movie theater.
202
00:08:37,541 --> 00:08:40,458
- [all chuckle]
- Yo, yo, yo. But real talk.
203
00:08:40,458 --> 00:08:43,625
The Colonel stopped a bullet
meant for me in Mumbai.
204
00:08:43,625 --> 00:08:45,583
- You kidding?
- Somebody tried to shoot you?
205
00:08:45,583 --> 00:08:48,583
Yeah. Some people don't like
the way my company does business.
206
00:08:48,583 --> 00:08:52,541
Sadly, the Colonel's injury stops him
from protecting me to the fullest,
207
00:08:52,541 --> 00:08:54,541
so I had to get me a new head bodyguard.
208
00:08:54,541 --> 00:08:55,875
Mr. Louis!
209
00:08:55,875 --> 00:08:58,125
- Check it out, right?
- [Audrey] Hello, Louis!
210
00:08:58,125 --> 00:09:00,083
And, yo, my man is fully armed.
211
00:09:00,083 --> 00:09:02,000
[Nick] He's fully armed. That's funny!
212
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:04,625
Okay. I hope
you don't find anything in there.
213
00:09:04,625 --> 00:09:06,666
- I hope not!
- [all laugh]
214
00:09:06,666 --> 00:09:07,750
I hate to say it.
215
00:09:07,750 --> 00:09:11,083
If you and the Colonel are ever caught
in a fight, my money's on the Colonel.
216
00:09:11,083 --> 00:09:14,416
He'd open a can of whoop ass
with his, uh... with his good arm.
217
00:09:14,416 --> 00:09:16,625
No? You didn't like that one?
I was joking around.
218
00:09:16,625 --> 00:09:17,958
- Nice to meet you.
- Let's go.
219
00:09:17,958 --> 00:09:18,875
Follow me.
220
00:09:18,875 --> 00:09:19,958
[Nick] Coming. Coming.
221
00:09:22,083 --> 00:09:23,583
[gentle music playing]
222
00:09:25,166 --> 00:09:26,083
[Nick] Sounds great!
223
00:09:26,083 --> 00:09:29,000
[Claudette] I'm assuming you've never been
to an Indian wedding before.
224
00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:31,625
- [laughing] Why would you assume that?
- Oh, so you have?
225
00:09:31,625 --> 00:09:32,750
Uh, no.
226
00:09:32,750 --> 00:09:37,000
So tonight is the Sangeet.
It's like a rehearsal dinner.
227
00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:41,625
And then we have, um, a very dramatic
surprise entrance plan
228
00:09:41,625 --> 00:09:43,750
that I think you'll find
quite entertaining.
229
00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:45,666
- [phone rings]
- [Claudette] I need to take this.
230
00:09:45,666 --> 00:09:48,708
Your villa should have everything
you need. Make yourselves at home.
231
00:09:50,166 --> 00:09:51,250
- And we--
- Bye! Enjoy!
232
00:09:51,250 --> 00:09:53,083
- Bye. Thank you.
- No more kisses. Cool.
233
00:09:53,083 --> 00:09:56,958
[sighs] She was working in a watch shop
off La Place Vendôme when I met her.
234
00:09:56,958 --> 00:09:58,083
Not a penny to her name.
235
00:09:58,083 --> 00:10:00,125
Love at first sight, you know what I mean?
236
00:10:00,125 --> 00:10:02,000
She just fills me with like... [grunts]
237
00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:03,666
- With happiness.
- [Nick] That's nice.
238
00:10:03,666 --> 00:10:05,500
I see that same happiness in you two
239
00:10:05,500 --> 00:10:07,000
when you look at each other.
240
00:10:08,041 --> 00:10:09,875
You guys are happy, right?
241
00:10:09,875 --> 00:10:12,250
- Us? Are you kidding?
- Without her, I would not be happy.
242
00:10:12,250 --> 00:10:15,083
- With her, I'm the happiest.
- Not a day goes by where I just wanna go...
243
00:10:15,083 --> 00:10:16,666
[grunts] I love you so much.
244
00:10:16,666 --> 00:10:19,500
She makes every decision for us,
and I'm fine with that.
245
00:10:19,500 --> 00:10:22,500
- Now get in there and have fun, all right?
- [Nick] Thank you so much.
246
00:10:22,500 --> 00:10:24,541
- [Vik] Enjoy yourself.
- Okay. Oh, so we...
247
00:10:24,541 --> 00:10:26,541
- Okay. Bye, buddy!
- [Vik] Louis, let's go.
248
00:10:26,541 --> 00:10:28,625
["Weekend Friend" by Goth Babe playing]
249
00:10:30,541 --> 00:10:33,875
Oh my God!
250
00:10:37,416 --> 00:10:40,000
I mean, goddamn.
251
00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:41,500
Goddamn!
252
00:10:41,500 --> 00:10:43,583
Look at this! Oh my God!
253
00:10:43,583 --> 00:10:45,791
- [Nick] Look at this! This!
- [Audrey] Wow!
254
00:10:45,791 --> 00:10:49,583
- [Nick] Babe, the TV's gigantic!
- Oh my God.
255
00:10:49,583 --> 00:10:51,458
- [Nick] Look at this thing!
- [beeps]
256
00:10:51,458 --> 00:10:53,291
- [whirring]
- Huh?
257
00:10:56,208 --> 00:10:57,083
What?!
258
00:10:57,625 --> 00:10:58,791
[laughing] Oh!
259
00:10:58,791 --> 00:11:00,541
We got a convertible, baby!
260
00:11:00,541 --> 00:11:03,166
Put this... in your face.
261
00:11:03,166 --> 00:11:04,166
[Nick] Mm-hmm.
262
00:11:05,208 --> 00:11:06,416
Is this unicorn cheese?
263
00:11:06,416 --> 00:11:08,833
- Oh my God. Baby, a gift box.
- Okay.
264
00:11:08,833 --> 00:11:11,875
I'm gonna go with one more
piece of cheese, then I'm done with this.
265
00:11:11,875 --> 00:11:13,958
- [Audrey] What? Are these for us?
- [Nick] Earrings?
266
00:11:13,958 --> 00:11:15,875
- [Audrey] Oh!
- These are good ones, aren't they?
267
00:11:15,875 --> 00:11:17,125
I cannot believe this!
268
00:11:17,125 --> 00:11:19,458
- We get our own iPhones!
- No way!
269
00:11:19,458 --> 00:11:22,000
- What did we give out at our wedding?
- Oh, flip-flops!
270
00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:24,541
Flip-flops,
and we gave out Advil or some shit?
271
00:11:24,541 --> 00:11:26,750
- Vintage Air Jordans?
- [Audrey] This is insane!
272
00:11:26,750 --> 00:11:27,666
[Nick] My size?
273
00:11:27,666 --> 00:11:31,583
Wouldn't be a gift box from the Maharajah
if it didn't have something kinky in it.
274
00:11:31,583 --> 00:11:33,875
- Those are gonna get you in trouble.
- You promise?
275
00:11:33,875 --> 00:11:37,458
- Oh! I like that response. Okay.
- Hey!
276
00:11:37,458 --> 00:11:38,583
- What?
- [Nick] Okay.
277
00:11:39,083 --> 00:11:40,000
[Audrey] Wait.
278
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:41,875
We just... This has just happened.
279
00:11:41,875 --> 00:11:44,166
- How'd they do that so fast?
- It's incredible.
280
00:11:44,166 --> 00:11:46,708
{\an8}[Audrey] Honey! It says "Nick and Audrey"!
281
00:11:47,458 --> 00:11:51,125
- Oh my God! You gotta come in this bed!
- [Nick] I'm coming, baby!
282
00:11:51,125 --> 00:11:53,875
- [Audrey] Oh!
- [Nick] I'm coming! I'm coming! Hey!
283
00:11:53,875 --> 00:11:55,083
Oh my God!
284
00:11:55,083 --> 00:11:56,375
Ow! Baby!
285
00:11:56,375 --> 00:11:57,500
- Oh!
- Oh!
286
00:11:57,500 --> 00:11:58,958
- Oh gosh.
- All right. What?
287
00:11:59,625 --> 00:12:01,958
I don't know
if I packed appropriately for this event.
288
00:12:01,958 --> 00:12:03,541
- I gotta check.
- I'm coming with!
289
00:12:03,541 --> 00:12:07,041
- [Audrey] I gotta check.
- [Nick] I'm coming with! Let's go!
290
00:12:07,875 --> 00:12:08,708
[gasps]
291
00:12:09,541 --> 00:12:10,375
Oh!
292
00:12:12,250 --> 00:12:14,625
- Oh my God!
- Okay, that's good.
293
00:12:14,625 --> 00:12:16,250
That's your stuff. Yeah.
294
00:12:16,250 --> 00:12:17,291
Do you see this?
295
00:12:17,291 --> 00:12:18,958
- I've never seen anything--
- All right.
296
00:12:30,541 --> 00:12:32,875
- [Audrey] Baby, you look so handsome.
- I...
297
00:12:32,875 --> 00:12:35,083
I can't believe you pulled that off.
298
00:12:35,083 --> 00:12:37,708
- Well, I'm gonna pull that off.
- [Audrey] Let's go.
299
00:12:37,708 --> 00:12:39,750
[Nick] Please tell me
you're gonna keep that.
300
00:12:39,750 --> 00:12:42,083
["Khadke Glassy
(from "Jabariya Jodi")" playing]
301
00:12:42,083 --> 00:12:43,208
Oh my God!
302
00:12:46,666 --> 00:12:48,500
- [Audrey] Hi!
- [Nick] Hey, how are ya?
303
00:12:53,958 --> 00:12:55,125
Audrey!
304
00:12:55,125 --> 00:12:57,000
- [Audrey] Ah, Colonel!
- [Nick] Hey.
305
00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:58,916
- Stunning!
- Thank you!
306
00:12:58,916 --> 00:13:00,875
Oh, how handsome are you, man?
307
00:13:00,875 --> 00:13:02,750
I only have eye for you, Nick.
308
00:13:02,750 --> 00:13:05,500
Oh! You better keep it that way!
All right!
309
00:13:10,291 --> 00:13:13,458
In a most beautiful place
on a most beautiful night,
310
00:13:13,458 --> 00:13:16,625
you have to be
the most beautiful thing of all.
311
00:13:16,625 --> 00:13:17,541
Um...
312
00:13:18,041 --> 00:13:21,750
Whoa. Okay. Definitely kissing
every single finger I have.
313
00:13:21,750 --> 00:13:24,125
I have made love
to more than 10,000 women.
314
00:13:24,125 --> 00:13:26,500
- [Audrey murmurs]
- None as ravishing as you.
315
00:13:26,500 --> 00:13:28,458
Okay. Well, speaking
of staggering numbers,
316
00:13:28,458 --> 00:13:31,041
this is my husband of 16 years.
317
00:13:31,041 --> 00:13:32,500
I've made love to one woman.
318
00:13:32,500 --> 00:13:35,375
- And I did it terribly, by the way.
- [Audrey] All right.
319
00:13:35,375 --> 00:13:39,125
Holy sh-- This is... You're that guy,
Francisco Perez, yeah?
320
00:13:39,125 --> 00:13:40,875
This guy used to be a soccer player.
321
00:13:40,875 --> 00:13:43,791
He headbutted some dude one time
and put him into a coma.
322
00:13:43,791 --> 00:13:47,500
Yeah. I know. I hit him so hard,
he lost his ability to blink.
323
00:13:48,416 --> 00:13:50,583
Anyway, it was so nice to meet you.
So, we're go--
324
00:13:50,583 --> 00:13:52,958
What about you?
How do you know the Maharajah?
325
00:13:52,958 --> 00:13:54,625
Well, after I retired from football,
326
00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:57,208
his father made me
the chairman of the board of directors
327
00:13:57,208 --> 00:13:58,625
of Shiz-Vik, his company.
328
00:13:58,625 --> 00:14:03,291
Also, I helped him land that beautiful
bride of his, the blonde. [chuckles]
329
00:14:03,791 --> 00:14:06,208
Although she has nothing
on this one. My God.
330
00:14:06,208 --> 00:14:07,416
- Okay.
- Okay.
331
00:14:07,416 --> 00:14:09,000
I'll see you in a second.
332
00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:11,916
$10,000, you can have one night with her.
333
00:14:11,916 --> 00:14:13,791
I'm kidding, you sick bastard.
334
00:14:14,291 --> 00:14:16,291
[pop music playing in background]
335
00:14:19,375 --> 00:14:21,083
[woman] That's quite the plate.
336
00:14:21,083 --> 00:14:23,583
Do they not have food where you come from?
337
00:14:24,083 --> 00:14:25,583
Oh, um...
338
00:14:26,208 --> 00:14:30,750
No, you know, I just... I'm so used
to my husband just eating off my plate,
339
00:14:30,750 --> 00:14:32,250
so it's sort of become a habit.
340
00:14:32,250 --> 00:14:34,708
But, no, you're absolutely right.
I don't need this.
341
00:14:34,708 --> 00:14:37,333
No, no, no! Don't put it back.
342
00:14:37,958 --> 00:14:39,958
- I was not gonna do that.
- [woman scoffs]
343
00:14:40,541 --> 00:14:41,583
Americans.
344
00:14:42,083 --> 00:14:44,166
[scoffs] Americans. [chuckles]
345
00:15:00,291 --> 00:15:01,541
Would you care for one?
346
00:15:02,333 --> 00:15:04,458
Oh, I'm so good.
Thank you. Maybe another time.
347
00:15:04,458 --> 00:15:05,541
[woman speaks Hindi]
348
00:15:06,166 --> 00:15:07,375
- [Audrey] So, um...
- Thank you.
349
00:15:07,375 --> 00:15:09,000
Are you on the bride's side?
350
00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:11,291
No, I'm Saira, groom's sister.
351
00:15:11,291 --> 00:15:14,041
I did not know Vik had a sister.
352
00:15:14,041 --> 00:15:15,333
Yeah. [chuckles]
353
00:15:16,166 --> 00:15:17,375
[Audrey groans]
354
00:15:17,375 --> 00:15:19,583
- These are very low tables!
- [chuckles]
355
00:15:20,375 --> 00:15:23,500
Are you reading 'cause you don't like
weddings like this, or...
356
00:15:23,500 --> 00:15:26,833
No, you know,
it's more that I don't like people.
357
00:15:26,833 --> 00:15:28,916
I mean, these people in particular.
358
00:15:28,916 --> 00:15:32,000
I guess as long as Claudette
and your brother have fun,
359
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:33,250
that's all that matters.
360
00:15:33,250 --> 00:15:36,541
Right. I don't really understand
how anyone gets married.
361
00:15:36,541 --> 00:15:39,791
Spending so much time
with one person. Can you imagine?
362
00:15:39,791 --> 00:15:42,833
- [man coughing and wheezing]
- [Audrey] Hmm...
363
00:15:42,833 --> 00:15:45,125
[coughing]
364
00:15:45,125 --> 00:15:48,875
Well, speaking of my one person,
365
00:15:49,541 --> 00:15:50,583
there he is.
366
00:15:50,583 --> 00:15:53,125
Nick, this is Saira.
367
00:15:53,125 --> 00:15:54,458
This is Vik's sister.
368
00:15:55,041 --> 00:15:56,125
- Would you...
- [Saira] No.
369
00:15:56,125 --> 00:15:57,458
- You good?
- [Audrey] She's good.
370
00:15:57,458 --> 00:15:59,333
- I am Nick. Nice to meet you.
- Saira.
371
00:15:59,333 --> 00:16:00,666
Love your brother, by the way.
372
00:16:00,666 --> 00:16:02,375
- He's hysterical.
- [Saira] Right.
373
00:16:02,375 --> 00:16:03,500
Oh boy.
374
00:16:05,583 --> 00:16:08,416
Okay, if you're trying to seduce me,
it's really not working.
375
00:16:08,416 --> 00:16:09,458
Oh my God.
376
00:16:09,458 --> 00:16:13,333
Hey, Nick. I was just thinking
about your lovely wife.
377
00:16:13,333 --> 00:16:14,583
Oh, you again.
378
00:16:14,583 --> 00:16:16,291
I see you've already met Francisco.
379
00:16:16,291 --> 00:16:19,458
And I guess you're both acquainted
with Vikram's harpy of a sister.
380
00:16:19,458 --> 00:16:21,708
- Did he say "herpe"?
- Harpy.
381
00:16:21,708 --> 00:16:25,541
Countess! How humiliating it must be
for you to see Claudette
382
00:16:25,541 --> 00:16:27,958
actually close a deal with the Maharajah.
383
00:16:27,958 --> 00:16:30,666
Ever wonder what
you might have done wrong, dear?
384
00:16:30,666 --> 00:16:34,750
Ever wonder what it feels like
to be tall enough to ride a rollercoaster?
385
00:16:34,750 --> 00:16:38,083
[woman snickering]
386
00:16:38,083 --> 00:16:39,875
That's Countess Sekou.
387
00:16:39,875 --> 00:16:41,625
She's Vik's ex-fiancée,
388
00:16:41,625 --> 00:16:44,208
and she's
Claudette's old university roommate.
389
00:16:44,208 --> 00:16:47,458
And they're still friends?
She's quite rude, by the way.
390
00:16:47,458 --> 00:16:50,708
Well, on top of all that,
she's also Claudette's maid of honor.
391
00:16:50,708 --> 00:16:51,625
- [Audrey] What?
- Yeah.
392
00:16:51,625 --> 00:16:55,583
[man over PA] Hope you watched the video
because the dancing is about to begin!
393
00:16:55,583 --> 00:16:58,041
- What dancing?
- I'm gonna fake going to the bathroom.
394
00:16:58,041 --> 00:17:00,375
- I don't dance. You dance.
- I didn't get a video. Did you?
395
00:17:00,375 --> 00:17:01,833
They brought one to the room.
396
00:17:01,833 --> 00:17:03,291
- I forgot to tell you.
- Thanks.
397
00:17:03,291 --> 00:17:05,625
[rhythmical drumming]
398
00:17:08,541 --> 00:17:10,291
["King Dee Wedding" begins to play]
399
00:17:11,791 --> 00:17:13,375
[singing in Hindi]
400
00:17:29,583 --> 00:17:34,125
[man over PA] Ladies and gentlemen,
please help me welcome the bride!
401
00:17:34,125 --> 00:17:36,541
[cheering]
402
00:17:52,125 --> 00:17:54,000
[laughing] You get 'em!
403
00:18:00,916 --> 00:18:02,333
[all exclaiming]
404
00:18:02,958 --> 00:18:04,083
[all exclaiming]
405
00:18:06,416 --> 00:18:07,583
Come with us!
406
00:18:22,583 --> 00:18:23,458
All right, come on!
407
00:18:30,333 --> 00:18:31,750
- Come on, baby!
- [screams]
408
00:18:39,166 --> 00:18:41,416
[over PA] And now it's time!
409
00:18:41,416 --> 00:18:44,208
The moment you've all been waiting for.
410
00:18:44,208 --> 00:18:47,791
The groom, Vikram Govindan!
411
00:18:47,791 --> 00:18:48,875
[elephant trumpets]
412
00:18:48,875 --> 00:18:50,375
This is crazy!
413
00:18:50,375 --> 00:18:52,291
[music continues]
414
00:19:05,208 --> 00:19:06,416
[all gasp]
415
00:19:06,416 --> 00:19:07,500
[screaming]
416
00:19:07,500 --> 00:19:09,208
[clamoring]
417
00:19:09,208 --> 00:19:10,166
Brother!
418
00:19:10,166 --> 00:19:12,833
Back! Get everybody back!
Get everybody back!
419
00:19:12,833 --> 00:19:13,833
[guard] Stay back!
420
00:19:13,833 --> 00:19:14,750
Vik!
421
00:19:14,750 --> 00:19:16,666
- [Nick] Okay, all right.
- [Claudette shrieks]
422
00:19:17,666 --> 00:19:18,958
[Claudette] Is he dead?
423
00:19:18,958 --> 00:19:20,458
[onlookers gasping]
424
00:19:20,458 --> 00:19:22,083
It's not him. It's not Vik.
425
00:19:22,083 --> 00:19:23,833
Oh, thank God! It's only Mr. Lou.
426
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:28,083
- Who did this to you?
- [Claudette] Where is Vik? Hey!
427
00:19:28,083 --> 00:19:30,250
[Audrey] Who? What? Oh my gosh!
428
00:19:30,250 --> 00:19:31,500
Where is Vik?
429
00:19:31,500 --> 00:19:33,875
- Who did this to you?
- Who was it? Do you remember?
430
00:19:33,875 --> 00:19:34,791
It was...
431
00:19:34,791 --> 00:19:37,416
[Nick] Say it. Say it.
Don't die. Don't die!
432
00:19:37,416 --> 00:19:39,541
- [Audrey] Oh my gosh!
- [Claudette] Where is Vik?
433
00:19:39,541 --> 00:19:41,000
[guard 1] Clear! Clear! Come on!
434
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:44,375
- Come on! Come on! Come on! Go!
- [guard 2] Clear!
435
00:19:44,375 --> 00:19:46,416
- [Nick] This is a distraction.
- [Audrey] From what?
436
00:19:47,083 --> 00:19:47,916
From the escape!
437
00:19:47,916 --> 00:19:50,000
[dramatic music playing]
438
00:20:03,083 --> 00:20:05,000
- [Colonel] Are you serious?
- [shutter clicks]
439
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:07,083
What do you mean
all communication systems are down?
440
00:20:07,083 --> 00:20:08,875
Get them up and running!
441
00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:12,666
We have a security officer compromised.
We need medical attention immediately.
442
00:20:12,666 --> 00:20:13,708
[sighs] Okay.
443
00:20:14,458 --> 00:20:15,500
[Vik] Help!
444
00:20:15,500 --> 00:20:18,125
Yo, you hatin’ hard on me right now, son!
445
00:20:18,125 --> 00:20:20,166
- Homeboy!
- [Vik] Nick!
446
00:20:23,875 --> 00:20:25,291
[boat engine revs]
447
00:20:25,291 --> 00:20:27,250
[Vik yelling] Nick!
448
00:20:27,250 --> 00:20:29,791
This is some janky-ass shit!
449
00:20:31,250 --> 00:20:33,000
[Colonel] Lock down the island
450
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:35,666
until the security cameras
are back online.
451
00:20:36,166 --> 00:20:38,250
All guests are to remain in their rooms.
452
00:20:38,250 --> 00:20:41,916
Oh my God. We need to get ahead of this,
or our shares will plummet.
453
00:20:41,916 --> 00:20:43,166
My brother could be dead
454
00:20:43,166 --> 00:20:45,666
and the only thing you're concerned about
are share prices?
455
00:20:45,666 --> 00:20:47,791
Oh! [laughs]
456
00:20:47,791 --> 00:20:51,083
How do you think our investors will react
when news of this gets out,
457
00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:53,708
you little Miss Minority Shareholder?
458
00:20:53,708 --> 00:20:56,708
Giving all her money
to save the whales and heal the planet
459
00:20:56,708 --> 00:20:58,125
and all that nonsense.
460
00:20:58,833 --> 00:21:01,125
Colonel. Where is Vik?
461
00:21:01,958 --> 00:21:03,208
Where is my husband?
462
00:21:03,208 --> 00:21:05,708
[Colonel] We will find him.
We will find him.
463
00:21:05,708 --> 00:21:07,583
[panting]
464
00:21:07,583 --> 00:21:09,416
The Maharajah's been kidnapped.
465
00:21:09,416 --> 00:21:10,833
- What?
- [Countess] Oh my God!
466
00:21:10,833 --> 00:21:12,791
- Where did they take him?
- [Nick] He's alive.
467
00:21:12,791 --> 00:21:16,125
Somebody with a machine gun
threw him on a boat, and they took off.
468
00:21:16,125 --> 00:21:17,541
- How many kidnappers?
- [Nick] One.
469
00:21:17,541 --> 00:21:20,000
Which means his partner
is still here on the island.
470
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:22,458
Hold on. How do you know there were two?
471
00:21:22,458 --> 00:21:25,583
If the kidnapper had Vik
and was taking him to the boat...
472
00:21:25,583 --> 00:21:28,458
Ah, someone else
was leading the elephant into the tent.
473
00:21:28,458 --> 00:21:31,166
- Thank you.
- There are 400 people on this island.
474
00:21:31,166 --> 00:21:32,416
That's a lot of suspects.
475
00:21:32,416 --> 00:21:34,666
Let us narrow it down for you,
okay, Colonel?
476
00:21:34,666 --> 00:21:38,250
Claudette, how many people knew about
the elephant being part of the ceremony?
477
00:21:38,250 --> 00:21:39,166
Just the board.
478
00:21:39,166 --> 00:21:42,375
Yeah, we had to sign off at the expense
of transporting an elephant.
479
00:21:42,375 --> 00:21:44,375
So that means all of you.
480
00:21:44,375 --> 00:21:45,958
What are you implying?
481
00:21:45,958 --> 00:21:48,916
I think it's very obvious
what I'm implying.
482
00:21:48,916 --> 00:21:51,541
- [Nick] Mm-hmm.
- One of you is an accomplice to a murder.
483
00:21:52,041 --> 00:21:54,500
[mysterious music playing]
484
00:21:54,500 --> 00:21:56,208
- That is ridiculous!
- I'm not on the board!
485
00:21:56,208 --> 00:21:59,000
Is it? You all hated my brother!
486
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:01,208
What? No, I... I love Vik.
487
00:22:01,208 --> 00:22:03,041
[scoffs] Oh, please!
488
00:22:03,041 --> 00:22:05,541
- You've never forgiven me.
- For what?
489
00:22:05,541 --> 00:22:08,250
- Breaking up your engagement.
- Oh, get over yourself.
490
00:22:08,250 --> 00:22:11,708
It was an arranged marriage
between our families.
491
00:22:11,708 --> 00:22:16,041
We amicably split in order to allow
for your so-called "love marriage."
492
00:22:16,041 --> 00:22:18,791
You didn't want this marriage
to go through so you kidnapped him!
493
00:22:18,791 --> 00:22:20,083
You gold-digging--
494
00:22:20,083 --> 00:22:24,333
- Ladies, stop it!
- Calm down, everybody!
495
00:22:24,333 --> 00:22:27,041
- We do this for a living. It's what we do.
- [Nick] It's our thing.
496
00:22:27,041 --> 00:22:28,875
- And this is not just another case.
- No.
497
00:22:28,875 --> 00:22:31,000
- [Nick] This is personal.
- [Audrey] Yeah, it's Vik.
498
00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:34,208
- [Nick] He means a lot to us.
- [Audrey] So we'll find out who did this.
499
00:22:34,208 --> 00:22:37,458
- [Nick] A hundred percent.
- [Audrey] And find out why they did this.
500
00:22:37,458 --> 00:22:39,041
And we're gonna get Vik back, okay?
501
00:22:39,041 --> 00:22:42,625
We're gonna do this
for the low, low price of $25 million.
502
00:22:42,625 --> 00:22:44,791
[silence]
503
00:22:46,041 --> 00:22:48,458
Twenty-five mil, honey. I swear to God.
504
00:22:48,458 --> 00:22:50,166
[Nick] I would've settled for ten grand.
505
00:22:50,166 --> 00:22:51,666
So insane.
506
00:22:53,250 --> 00:22:54,291
[Nick grunts]
507
00:22:54,291 --> 00:22:56,125
What are you doing?
508
00:22:56,125 --> 00:22:58,458
[Nick] I'm blocking the door
so no one can get in.
509
00:22:58,458 --> 00:23:00,250
[Audrey]
Honey, you're gonna hurt your back.
510
00:23:00,250 --> 00:23:03,166
You know what would hurt my back?
A knife going through it.
511
00:23:03,166 --> 00:23:04,666
The killer knows we're on to him.
512
00:23:04,666 --> 00:23:06,750
We're on the next-to-kill list.
I guarantee it.
513
00:23:06,750 --> 00:23:07,708
What happened to Vik?
514
00:23:07,708 --> 00:23:10,166
A guy that rich
gets kidnapped for the money.
515
00:23:10,166 --> 00:23:11,791
There's no profit in hurting him.
516
00:23:11,791 --> 00:23:15,083
Oh God. We're not gonna be invited
anywhere ever again. Ever again.
517
00:23:15,083 --> 00:23:17,500
The cheese has a hold on me, honey.
I can't stop.
518
00:23:17,500 --> 00:23:20,708
Are you just... Will you take a slice
like a civilized person?
519
00:23:20,708 --> 00:23:22,166
I don't know where the knife is.
520
00:23:22,166 --> 00:23:24,666
- Oh Jesus!
- [Nick] What? You got a headache?
521
00:23:24,666 --> 00:23:26,000
- Yes!
- [Nick] I'm sorry.
522
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:27,875
- How's your back?
- My back's killing me.
523
00:23:27,875 --> 00:23:29,333
- I'll get Advil.
- Please. Please.
524
00:23:29,333 --> 00:23:32,708
- I'm gonna get more cheese in me.
- Honey, do not eat all that cheese.
525
00:23:32,708 --> 00:23:34,791
That affects... You're terrible all night.
526
00:23:34,791 --> 00:23:36,208
- Absolutely.
- Oh.
527
00:23:36,208 --> 00:23:39,833
And I have pictures from the tent
of a burned robe with bloodstains.
528
00:23:39,833 --> 00:23:41,666
Someone was trying
to get rid of the evidence,
529
00:23:41,666 --> 00:23:43,875
and I'm sure it was the elephant handler.
530
00:23:43,875 --> 00:23:45,208
Good detecting, sweetheart.
531
00:23:45,208 --> 00:23:47,208
- I'm doing my best. Here.
- [Nick] Okay. Thank you.
532
00:23:47,208 --> 00:23:49,250
- [Audrey] One, two, three, four.
- [Nick] Okay.
533
00:23:50,166 --> 00:23:52,500
- [frantic knocking on door]
- [dramatic music playing]
534
00:23:52,500 --> 00:23:54,041
[Nick] I gotta move this stuff now?
535
00:23:54,041 --> 00:23:55,333
What if that's the killer?
536
00:23:55,333 --> 00:23:57,666
- Killers don't knock.
- What if it's housekeeping?
537
00:23:57,666 --> 00:24:00,375
We... We're good! We don't need any towels.
538
00:24:00,375 --> 00:24:03,208
No! No! We do need towels.
Leave 'em out front, please!
539
00:24:03,208 --> 00:24:05,333
We've been here ten minutes.
You need more towels?
540
00:24:05,333 --> 00:24:07,166
You use 30 towels after every shower.
541
00:24:07,166 --> 00:24:08,666
I'm sorry. At least I shower.
542
00:24:08,666 --> 00:24:10,041
All right, you got me there.
543
00:24:10,041 --> 00:24:11,958
[Francisco] It's me, Francisco!
544
00:24:11,958 --> 00:24:12,958
Francisco?
545
00:24:12,958 --> 00:24:15,083
Wait, wait, wait. What if he's the killer?
546
00:24:15,083 --> 00:24:17,583
The only thing
he wants to murder is your hm-hm!
547
00:24:17,583 --> 00:24:18,500
Hey!
548
00:24:18,500 --> 00:24:20,875
- [Francisco] Hurry! There's no time!
- [Nick] Be right there!
549
00:24:20,875 --> 00:24:22,666
- [Audrey] We're hurrying!
- [Nick] We know!
550
00:24:25,291 --> 00:24:26,208
So sorry.
551
00:24:26,208 --> 00:24:27,458
- [Nick] Hey.
- Hey.
552
00:24:29,291 --> 00:24:30,750
- You.
- [Nick] Mm-hmm.
553
00:24:31,375 --> 00:24:32,375
Gorgeous.
554
00:24:33,750 --> 00:24:35,416
[Nick] Jesus Christ. All right.
555
00:24:36,166 --> 00:24:37,708
[Audrey] Put this back. You said hurry.
556
00:24:37,708 --> 00:24:39,750
What's... How can we help?
557
00:24:39,750 --> 00:24:41,500
- I have information.
- [Nick] Yes.
558
00:24:41,500 --> 00:24:43,791
Everyone thinks Claudette
is this gold digger,
559
00:24:43,791 --> 00:24:47,500
but what's not so well known
is the fact that, as a precaution,
560
00:24:47,500 --> 00:24:50,625
the board made her sign a brutal prenup.
561
00:24:50,625 --> 00:24:55,250
So that means if Vik divorces her,
she's left with nothin'.
562
00:24:56,250 --> 00:24:58,291
[dramatic music swells]
563
00:24:58,291 --> 00:25:01,375
- I gotta move this shit again?
- Wait. Wait. Who is it?
564
00:25:01,375 --> 00:25:03,875
[Claudette] It's Claudette.
You must hear what I have to say.
565
00:25:03,875 --> 00:25:05,458
Okay, one second.
566
00:25:05,458 --> 00:25:06,875
Let's get you in the closet.
567
00:25:06,875 --> 00:25:09,250
[Nick] Okay, be right there.
I gotta get some cheese.
568
00:25:09,250 --> 00:25:11,458
- Okay. Just go in there.
- [rock scraping floor]
569
00:25:11,458 --> 00:25:13,708
No! Get off of... Jesus!
570
00:25:13,708 --> 00:25:15,541
- Coming, Claudette!
- Sorry! One second.
571
00:25:15,541 --> 00:25:17,208
[breathing heavily]
572
00:25:17,208 --> 00:25:18,125
[Nick] Hurry!
573
00:25:18,875 --> 00:25:20,708
- [Audrey] Hello, Claudette.
- [Nick] Hi.
574
00:25:20,708 --> 00:25:22,083
[Claudette sighs]
575
00:25:23,166 --> 00:25:24,958
[Claudette]
They all think I'm marrying Vik
576
00:25:24,958 --> 00:25:26,916
just for the money,
especially the Countess.
577
00:25:27,875 --> 00:25:29,791
She's been jealous of me
ever since we met.
578
00:25:29,791 --> 00:25:31,916
- Really? I can imagine why.
- I can imagine.
579
00:25:31,916 --> 00:25:34,333
But still, she was my best friend.
580
00:25:34,333 --> 00:25:35,416
- Right.
- [Nick] Sure.
581
00:25:35,416 --> 00:25:36,708
- You know?
- Yeah.
582
00:25:36,708 --> 00:25:38,666
- We were so close.
- [Audrey] Oh!
583
00:25:38,666 --> 00:25:40,833
And I think I just miss her sometimes.
584
00:25:41,416 --> 00:25:44,541
- Oh, sorry.
- [Claudette sobbing]
585
00:25:44,541 --> 00:25:47,458
- I just wanna know who kidnapped my Vik.
- Mm-hmm.
586
00:25:47,458 --> 00:25:49,708
They all have something to gain from this.
587
00:25:49,708 --> 00:25:52,875
Pfft!
588
00:25:52,875 --> 00:25:55,208
- Terrible.
- [Claudette] I can't trust any of them!
589
00:25:55,208 --> 00:25:56,791
- [whispers] There's a gun.
- A gun?
590
00:25:56,791 --> 00:25:59,041
[Claudette] The Colonel,
so bitter about his demotion.
591
00:25:59,041 --> 00:26:01,375
Saira, always starved for attention.
592
00:26:02,041 --> 00:26:04,500
And Vik had just discovered
593
00:26:04,500 --> 00:26:06,166
Francisco's dark secret.
594
00:26:06,166 --> 00:26:08,000
- [Audrey] What?
- [Nick] He had a secret?
595
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:09,458
- Oh!
- [Nick] Oh God.
596
00:26:09,458 --> 00:26:10,750
- [cocks gun]
- [Audrey gasps]
597
00:26:10,750 --> 00:26:13,208
- [Audrey] We don't need to do that.
- [Nick] That's cool.
598
00:26:13,208 --> 00:26:14,208
Who is it?
599
00:26:14,208 --> 00:26:15,583
It's Saira. Let me in.
600
00:26:15,583 --> 00:26:16,666
Uh, okay. One second.
601
00:26:16,666 --> 00:26:18,500
- I need to hide. The closet!
- No, no, no!
602
00:26:18,500 --> 00:26:20,375
- [Nick] It's too dark.
- Here. Come on.
603
00:26:20,375 --> 00:26:22,500
- [Nick] She has all her stuff.
- One second, Saira!
604
00:26:22,500 --> 00:26:23,833
[Nick] Coming! Be right there!
605
00:26:23,833 --> 00:26:26,041
[Nick straining]
606
00:26:26,041 --> 00:26:27,875
Okay, gotta get to you!
607
00:26:27,875 --> 00:26:30,666
- So sorry. One second.
- Moving around some stuff for fun!
608
00:26:31,875 --> 00:26:34,125
- I know who you need to be looking at.
- [Nick] Who?
609
00:26:34,125 --> 00:26:35,708
- Claudette!
- [Nick] Claudette?
610
00:26:35,708 --> 00:26:38,333
[Saira] I told Vik she was bad news
the minute I met her.
611
00:26:38,333 --> 00:26:40,250
She's suspicious,
narcissistic, manipulative,
612
00:26:40,250 --> 00:26:42,458
and looks cheap as well
in that red dress--
613
00:26:42,458 --> 00:26:45,916
Excuse me! I'm so sorry to interrupt,
but I feel like I'd be a rude hostess
614
00:26:45,916 --> 00:26:49,250
if I didn't offer you a piece of this
exquisite artisan cheese that's...
615
00:26:49,250 --> 00:26:51,875
Nick, where's this...
Where's that cheese? The big--
616
00:26:51,875 --> 00:26:53,333
- The cheese is gone.
- Where is it?
617
00:26:53,333 --> 00:26:54,541
I put it, uh, in my stomach.
618
00:26:54,541 --> 00:26:56,291
You ate that entire block of cheese?
619
00:26:56,291 --> 00:26:59,791
Trying to shame me. I don't know
if that's gonna get the cheese back--
620
00:26:59,791 --> 00:27:01,916
I'm sorry. I don't mean to be selfish--
621
00:27:01,916 --> 00:27:03,375
Sorry. Hold on. You know what?
622
00:27:03,375 --> 00:27:07,291
Let me give you a drink right now
just to relax you a little bit.
623
00:27:07,291 --> 00:27:08,541
- Here.
- I... I don't want that.
624
00:27:08,541 --> 00:27:10,500
- No? Okay.
- I'm okay.
625
00:27:10,500 --> 00:27:11,666
[frantic knocking]
626
00:27:11,666 --> 00:27:13,875
- Oh shit.
- [Saira] Who is it?
627
00:27:13,875 --> 00:27:15,666
- [Audrey] Not sure.
- You expecting someone?
628
00:27:15,666 --> 00:27:18,000
It's like an after-party.
People just show up.
629
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:21,083
Let's put you into the bedroom,
just in case, 'cause I don't know.
630
00:27:21,083 --> 00:27:23,333
- I'll hide there.
- Don't hide in there! Why?
631
00:27:23,333 --> 00:27:24,333
That's an obvious spot.
632
00:27:24,333 --> 00:27:26,625
- [Audrey] Is it hot in here?
- I'm hot too.
633
00:27:26,625 --> 00:27:28,166
- I'm coming!
- [knocking continues]
634
00:27:28,166 --> 00:27:29,500
What if that is the killer?
635
00:27:29,500 --> 00:27:32,583
Don't you kinda want it
to be the killer so they can kill us?
636
00:27:32,583 --> 00:27:33,916
I am sick of this shit.
637
00:27:33,916 --> 00:27:35,916
- Baby, I do not feel very good.
- [rock scraping]
638
00:27:35,916 --> 00:27:37,250
[lock clicking]
639
00:27:37,250 --> 00:27:39,583
What's doin'? Yeah?
640
00:27:40,375 --> 00:27:42,083
Hey, great to see you.
641
00:27:42,083 --> 00:27:44,000
What's going on? [chuckles lightly]
642
00:27:46,166 --> 00:27:47,166
[door closes]
643
00:27:47,166 --> 00:27:48,500
[Countess] I know who did it.
644
00:27:48,500 --> 00:27:49,666
Who?
645
00:27:51,916 --> 00:27:53,250
It was Francisco.
646
00:27:53,250 --> 00:27:54,666
Francisco!
647
00:27:54,666 --> 00:27:58,000
He has had over 85 paternity suits
filed against him.
648
00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:00,250
We suspect he's been siphoning money
out of the company
649
00:28:00,250 --> 00:28:02,875
in order to pay
for all of these babies he made.
650
00:28:02,875 --> 00:28:04,708
That's a lie!
651
00:28:04,708 --> 00:28:06,125
Not the part about the babies.
652
00:28:06,125 --> 00:28:09,083
Yes, that's true.
I've spread my seed far and wide,
653
00:28:09,083 --> 00:28:11,916
but I have never stolen in my life.
654
00:28:11,916 --> 00:28:14,416
- What are you doing here?
- An excellent question.
655
00:28:14,416 --> 00:28:17,083
- What are you all doing here?
- Saira's here.
656
00:28:18,125 --> 00:28:20,333
- Nobody move!
- Oh my God!
657
00:28:20,333 --> 00:28:21,375
I ain't moving.
658
00:28:21,375 --> 00:28:22,916
[cell phone ringing]
659
00:28:23,875 --> 00:28:24,791
It's mine. It's mine.
660
00:28:26,291 --> 00:28:27,750
- I missed it.
- [Nick] Missed the call?
661
00:28:28,375 --> 00:28:29,208
[phone beeping]
662
00:28:29,916 --> 00:28:30,916
I have a message.
663
00:28:34,208 --> 00:28:35,916
[distorted voice] We have the Maharajah.
664
00:28:36,416 --> 00:28:39,250
If you contact the authorities, he dies.
665
00:28:39,250 --> 00:28:41,541
We'll make our demands
known to you at 7:00 a.m.
666
00:28:41,541 --> 00:28:42,583
[call disconnects]
667
00:28:42,583 --> 00:28:45,458
That voice is hysterical.
You got to admit it.
668
00:28:45,458 --> 00:28:47,625
So we should all stay here.
Correct, Colonel?
669
00:28:47,625 --> 00:28:51,166
Because one of us is definitely
working with the kidnapper.
670
00:28:51,166 --> 00:28:55,041
Yeah. Motives, opportunities.
671
00:28:55,041 --> 00:28:56,375
Somebody here.
672
00:28:56,375 --> 00:28:58,541
My head is spinning a little bit.
673
00:28:58,541 --> 00:28:59,958
Honey?
674
00:29:00,750 --> 00:29:04,583
Babe, are you taking a nap?
I'm tired, too, so let's, uh...
675
00:29:05,416 --> 00:29:07,791
Nobody leave here
until we figure out who did what.
676
00:29:07,791 --> 00:29:09,291
It's great to see everybody.
677
00:29:09,291 --> 00:29:11,750
- Thanks for coming over. Sorry, my bad.
- [Francisco] Whoa!
678
00:29:15,375 --> 00:29:17,291
[inhales deeply]
679
00:29:17,291 --> 00:29:20,208
[sighing] Hmm!
680
00:29:24,500 --> 00:29:26,833
[Audrey groaning]
681
00:29:27,375 --> 00:29:29,541
[yelps] Jesus! What?
682
00:29:31,250 --> 00:29:32,541
Oh my God. Nick?
683
00:29:32,541 --> 00:29:34,000
- [Nick] Yeah.
- Nick?
684
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:35,000
[Nick] Yeah?
685
00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:36,791
- [Audrey] Nick!
- Uh-huh.
686
00:29:36,791 --> 00:29:39,541
Nicky, honey.
Get up. Get up! We got roofied.
687
00:29:39,541 --> 00:29:42,458
- What happened?
- [Audrey] Baby. Oh my God! We fell asleep!
688
00:29:42,458 --> 00:29:43,750
- [Nick] Oh yeah?
- Honey!
689
00:29:43,750 --> 00:29:44,833
[Nick] We're sleeping now.
690
00:29:44,833 --> 00:29:47,375
I don't know what happened. Uh, I...
691
00:29:47,375 --> 00:29:49,625
- Come on! Get up, Nick!
- [Nick] Okay. Up. I'm up.
692
00:29:49,625 --> 00:29:50,708
[Audrey] Who did this?
693
00:29:50,708 --> 00:29:52,958
[Nick] What? Now they're just showing off.
694
00:29:53,458 --> 00:29:56,375
- [Audrey] Hurry up!
- [Nick] Okay, I'm coming, honey. So...
695
00:29:56,375 --> 00:29:58,125
- [Audrey] Get up!
- [Nick] I'm up!
696
00:29:58,875 --> 00:30:02,000
- Calm down before you say anything.
- Nobody drugs us and gets away with it!
697
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:03,666
- Maybe they didn't drug us.
- It's illegal!
698
00:30:03,666 --> 00:30:04,958
Maybe we just ate too much.
699
00:30:04,958 --> 00:30:08,083
- That's why we passed out.
- Nick. Audrey. Just in time.
700
00:30:08,666 --> 00:30:09,916
- For what?
- For what?
701
00:30:09,916 --> 00:30:12,000
The real detectives have just arrived.
702
00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:14,166
[intense music playing]
703
00:30:18,125 --> 00:30:19,291
[Colonel] Connor Miller.
704
00:30:19,291 --> 00:30:22,625
- [Audrey gasps]
- Former MI6 hostage negotiator.
705
00:30:22,625 --> 00:30:25,750
Oh my God.
Specializes in high-profile cases.
706
00:30:25,750 --> 00:30:28,250
He got the President of Uruguay's son
back from the cartel.
707
00:30:28,250 --> 00:30:30,208
- He wrote the book. He wrote the book.
- On what?
708
00:30:30,208 --> 00:30:32,416
How Rogaine doesn't work for everybody?
709
00:30:32,416 --> 00:30:34,416
The book! Our course detective book!
710
00:30:36,416 --> 00:30:38,916
[Miller] Greetings.
I hear you need a case solved.
711
00:30:40,208 --> 00:30:42,333
Colonel. Been a long time.
712
00:30:42,916 --> 00:30:44,333
Francisco Perez.
713
00:30:44,333 --> 00:30:45,583
Huh?
714
00:30:45,583 --> 00:30:46,750
Big fan.
715
00:30:46,750 --> 00:30:47,916
- Oh.
- Hey.
716
00:30:47,916 --> 00:30:51,291
Mr. Miller, we're also very big fans.
Um, we can bring you up to speed.
717
00:30:51,291 --> 00:30:54,666
So what we know already is that
this is at least a two-person job.
718
00:30:54,666 --> 00:30:58,375
I saw the first guy
escape with Vik on a boat,
719
00:30:58,375 --> 00:31:00,375
leaving the second guy
still on the island.
720
00:31:00,375 --> 00:31:03,166
Also, just so you know,
we were both drugged last night.
721
00:31:03,166 --> 00:31:05,666
I don't know if we were drugged.
We did have a few drinks--
722
00:31:05,666 --> 00:31:07,250
- You must be the Spitzes.
- Yes.
723
00:31:07,250 --> 00:31:08,833
Yes, we are!
724
00:31:08,833 --> 00:31:10,666
Your reputations precede you.
725
00:31:10,666 --> 00:31:11,958
- There you go.
- Why, thank you.
726
00:31:11,958 --> 00:31:14,875
- That's nice to hear.
- Uh, not in a positive way, I'm afraid.
727
00:31:14,875 --> 00:31:16,000
Okay.
728
00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:19,125
I understand the last time
you were involved in something like this,
729
00:31:19,125 --> 00:31:20,333
everybody died?
730
00:31:20,333 --> 00:31:22,625
Well, that was not the Maharajah.
731
00:31:22,625 --> 00:31:24,125
How's he doing now?
732
00:31:24,125 --> 00:31:25,375
- [laughs] Okay.
- Right.
733
00:31:25,375 --> 00:31:28,041
The Colonel's still here,
most of him, so there. That's good.
734
00:31:28,041 --> 00:31:30,708
Um, listen.
Mr. Miller, I read your book, and--
735
00:31:30,708 --> 00:31:33,000
[Miller] Colonel, I wanna see
all the security footage.
736
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:35,208
All the footage
was wiped from the mainframe.
737
00:31:35,208 --> 00:31:36,791
Yeah, 'cause it's an inside job.
738
00:31:36,791 --> 00:31:37,833
Mademoiselle Joubert,
739
00:31:37,833 --> 00:31:40,333
we'll need your phone
for a vocal analysis of the voice mail.
740
00:31:40,333 --> 00:31:41,541
Of course. Anything you need.
741
00:31:41,541 --> 00:31:45,125
They're professional, no doubt.
They were concise and brief on the phone.
742
00:31:45,125 --> 00:31:46,375
We also have reason to believe
743
00:31:46,375 --> 00:31:49,250
that the inside man
was posing as an elephant handler.
744
00:31:50,458 --> 00:31:52,708
You really wanna do
suspects now, Mrs. Spitz?
745
00:31:52,708 --> 00:31:54,000
- Sure.
- [Miller] Fine.
746
00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:55,916
How about this? Uh...
747
00:31:55,916 --> 00:31:58,708
A husband and wife,
one an NYPD almost-detective,
748
00:31:58,708 --> 00:32:01,375
the other a hairdresser
taking online classes.
749
00:32:01,375 --> 00:32:03,875
Together they run
a private detective agency
750
00:32:03,875 --> 00:32:05,625
teetering on the edge of bankruptcy.
751
00:32:05,625 --> 00:32:07,083
And if I were to hazard a guess,
752
00:32:07,083 --> 00:32:09,375
I'd say it's probably
taking a toll on their marriage.
753
00:32:09,958 --> 00:32:12,250
Desperate to give validity
to their failing business,
754
00:32:12,250 --> 00:32:16,125
they accept a last-minute invite
from a billionaire to attend his wedding.
755
00:32:16,125 --> 00:32:17,625
And so a plan is born.
756
00:32:17,625 --> 00:32:21,125
Twenty-four hours after their arrival,
there's a high-profile kidnapping,
757
00:32:21,125 --> 00:32:22,708
the sort that gets attention.
758
00:32:22,708 --> 00:32:24,208
A career maker.
759
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:28,583
How's my reasoning, fellow... detectives?
760
00:32:28,583 --> 00:32:30,833
- Pretty excellent. None of it was true.
- Gorgeous.
761
00:32:30,833 --> 00:32:33,416
I was starting to go with it
'cause of the way you phrase things.
762
00:32:33,416 --> 00:32:35,166
- I almost believed him.
- The accent helps.
763
00:32:35,750 --> 00:32:38,458
Call trace is ready. Kidnappers should be
calling in any minute.
764
00:32:38,458 --> 00:32:40,208
If you'll excuse me, I have a job to do.
765
00:32:40,208 --> 00:32:41,833
- Okay, so listen.
- [Audrey] Yes, honey.
766
00:32:41,833 --> 00:32:45,166
We got good cheese. We got free iPhones.
I'm happy with everything.
767
00:32:45,166 --> 00:32:48,333
Where are you going? Did you hear
what that guy just said about us?
768
00:32:48,333 --> 00:32:50,041
- [Nick] Yeah.
- None of that's true!
769
00:32:50,041 --> 00:32:53,250
We need to show those people
what Nick and Audrey Spitz are all about.
770
00:32:53,250 --> 00:32:55,333
The guy's good! I don't think he needs us.
771
00:32:55,333 --> 00:32:56,833
- Nick. Audrey.
- [both] What?
772
00:32:56,833 --> 00:32:59,791
The kidnapper says
he'll only talk to the man he shot at.
773
00:32:59,791 --> 00:33:01,666
They need us. All right. They need us.
774
00:33:01,666 --> 00:33:02,666
- Let's go!
- Let's go!
775
00:33:02,666 --> 00:33:04,041
[dramatic music playing]
776
00:33:05,250 --> 00:33:07,125
- [machines beeping]
- [Colonel] They're here.
777
00:33:09,125 --> 00:33:11,041
- [Miller] He's calling back in a minute.
- Okay.
778
00:33:11,041 --> 00:33:13,208
You need to keep him calm,
keep him talking.
779
00:33:13,208 --> 00:33:14,833
- We need at least--
- Forty-five seconds.
780
00:33:14,833 --> 00:33:18,166
- I know. It's not my first rodeo, pal.
- You've done hostage negotiation?
781
00:33:18,166 --> 00:33:21,291
I'm married to this lady.
Everything's a negotiation. I got it.
782
00:33:21,291 --> 00:33:22,291
Appreciate it.
783
00:33:22,291 --> 00:33:23,333
[cell phone ringing]
784
00:33:23,333 --> 00:33:25,500
[tense music playing]
785
00:33:28,333 --> 00:33:29,250
[Nick sighs]
786
00:33:29,250 --> 00:33:32,708
So 45 seconds, and it starts... now.
787
00:33:33,458 --> 00:33:35,708
Hi. Kidnapper, how are you?
788
00:33:35,708 --> 00:33:38,708
[kidnapper] Is this the man
who tried to stop me on my escape?
789
00:33:38,708 --> 00:33:40,916
Yes, yes, yes, the man you shot at.
790
00:33:40,916 --> 00:33:43,625
Luckily, I got out of the way. [chuckles]
791
00:33:43,625 --> 00:33:46,083
Tell me what we can do
to get Vik back safely.
792
00:33:46,083 --> 00:33:47,708
That's all we really care about.
793
00:33:47,708 --> 00:33:51,208
[kidnapper] For the return
of the Maharajah, we require $50 million.
794
00:33:51,208 --> 00:33:52,125
[splutters]
795
00:33:52,125 --> 00:33:54,000
Fifty putos millones?
796
00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:55,208
- Sh!
- [line clicks]
797
00:33:55,208 --> 00:33:56,833
[alarm beeps]
798
00:33:56,833 --> 00:34:00,083
Francisco, you think this is
The Price Is Right, screaming out numbers?
799
00:34:00,083 --> 00:34:01,958
Way too much money for just one guy.
800
00:34:01,958 --> 00:34:04,041
Great. Just lost the trace. Thanks.
801
00:34:04,041 --> 00:34:07,125
- It's my fault? This guy's yelling shit--
- Why are you yelling at me?
802
00:34:07,125 --> 00:34:09,125
- You were directing at me--
- I yelled at that guy!
803
00:34:09,125 --> 00:34:12,125
The guy's hammered right now,
and I'm catching shit for it!
804
00:34:12,125 --> 00:34:14,375
There's the
"taking-a-toll-on-the-marriage" thing.
805
00:34:14,375 --> 00:34:16,291
Excuse me! At least we are married.
806
00:34:16,291 --> 00:34:19,416
Yeah. Calm down. This is how
we communicate. We're from New York.
807
00:34:19,416 --> 00:34:20,958
Can we remain calm?
808
00:34:20,958 --> 00:34:22,583
- I'm sorry. Of course.
- We're calm.
809
00:34:22,583 --> 00:34:23,958
He wants the money. He's gonna call back.
810
00:34:23,958 --> 00:34:25,166
- [Audrey] Relax.
- [Nick] Yup.
811
00:34:25,166 --> 00:34:27,000
- [phone ringing]
- [Nick] Here we go. Okay.
812
00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:28,416
- [Miller] Here we go.
- Got this!
813
00:34:28,416 --> 00:34:31,041
Forty-five seconds starts again now.
814
00:34:31,041 --> 00:34:33,708
Sorry about that, man.
A lot of anxious people here.
815
00:34:33,708 --> 00:34:35,833
One drunk guy. We all got that friend.
816
00:34:35,833 --> 00:34:37,708
[kidnapper] The price just went up to 60.
817
00:34:37,708 --> 00:34:39,166
[groaning]
818
00:34:39,166 --> 00:34:41,000
They say, "Great. No problem."
819
00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:44,333
[kidnapper] You will bring $60 million
in untraceable bearer bonds
820
00:34:44,333 --> 00:34:47,541
to the Arc de Triomphe in Paris
at 8:00 p.m. tomorrow night
821
00:34:47,541 --> 00:34:50,250
and wait with this phone
for further instructions.
822
00:34:50,250 --> 00:34:52,750
Hello, excuse me.
I'm so sorry to interrupt.
823
00:34:52,750 --> 00:34:58,541
But we are going to need unequivocal
evidence that the hostage is still alive.
824
00:34:58,541 --> 00:35:01,458
[kidnapper] You will receive proof of life
before the exchange.
825
00:35:01,458 --> 00:35:03,041
- Cool.
- Thank you very much.
826
00:35:03,041 --> 00:35:06,708
[kidnapper] Arc de Triomphe, 8:00 p.m.,
or the Maharajah dies.
827
00:35:07,291 --> 00:35:10,875
The voice jumbling thing you got on your...
It's hard to understand you.
828
00:35:10,875 --> 00:35:13,458
- The location, yes.
- Can you do that again? Where is it?
829
00:35:13,458 --> 00:35:16,416
- [kidnapper] Arc de Triomphe.
- [Nick] This is what you sound like...
830
00:35:16,416 --> 00:35:18,208
[Nick imitating distorted voice]
831
00:35:18,208 --> 00:35:20,666
- [Nick] That's what we hear.
- [kidnapper] Arc de Triomphe!
832
00:35:20,666 --> 00:35:22,625
Okay, so Arctic Tree Hump.
833
00:35:23,333 --> 00:35:24,791
Got it. You said that, right?
834
00:35:24,791 --> 00:35:26,875
[kidnapper]
The price just went up to 70 now!
835
00:35:26,875 --> 00:35:27,791
[sobbing]
836
00:35:27,791 --> 00:35:31,208
[kidnapper] Seventy million,
or the Maharajah dies a painful death.
837
00:35:31,208 --> 00:35:32,833
Muhammad Ali dies, you say?
838
00:35:32,833 --> 00:35:34,500
- [kidnapper] Oh my God!
- [disconnects]
839
00:35:34,500 --> 00:35:39,208
You just cost us
20 extra million, you doofus!
840
00:35:39,208 --> 00:35:41,083
I don't want these buffoons involved.
841
00:35:41,083 --> 00:35:43,583
I'm afraid the kidnapper does,
so we're stuck with them.
842
00:35:43,583 --> 00:35:45,583
They did it. Got the trace.
843
00:35:45,583 --> 00:35:47,041
- We did?
- Aha!
844
00:35:47,041 --> 00:35:49,166
- See? Team Buffoon wins again!
- Thank you!
845
00:35:49,166 --> 00:35:52,125
You can go back in the ocean now, Miller.
We got this.
846
00:35:52,125 --> 00:35:55,625
We're going to Paris. Everybody pack.
Be ready to leave in one hour.
847
00:35:55,625 --> 00:35:59,000
♪ Paris, Paris, Paris
Paris, Paris, Paris... ♪
848
00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:01,125
["Mermaids Club"
by The Brave Mermaids playing]
849
00:36:01,833 --> 00:36:02,666
Wow!
850
00:36:05,208 --> 00:36:07,958
[Nick] Let's go and do some sightseeing
after the ransom paying.
851
00:36:07,958 --> 00:36:09,416
- Can we do that?
- [Nick] Of course!
852
00:36:09,416 --> 00:36:11,958
Can we just...
You know what? After we get Vik back,
853
00:36:11,958 --> 00:36:14,833
we could go
and renew our vows at Love Locks Bridge.
854
00:36:16,375 --> 00:36:17,333
It's a date.
855
00:36:17,875 --> 00:36:19,458
I'm gonna need your phones.
856
00:36:19,458 --> 00:36:20,791
- Need our phones?
- Why?
857
00:36:20,791 --> 00:36:23,208
- [Miller] They're compromised.
- Oh, okay.
858
00:36:23,208 --> 00:36:26,416
We'll get 'em back, right?
These are brand-new. We got 'em for free.
859
00:36:26,416 --> 00:36:28,458
In the gift bags. They gave 'em to us--
860
00:36:28,458 --> 00:36:29,416
[booming]
861
00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:32,333
- Can't believe that happened.
- We're not getting them back.
862
00:36:32,333 --> 00:36:34,500
I had a dick pic on mine, but that's gone.
863
00:36:34,500 --> 00:36:36,333
[Miller] Let's not obsess about phones.
864
00:36:36,333 --> 00:36:39,500
The only important phone is
the one the kidnapper will call on. Here.
865
00:36:39,500 --> 00:36:43,208
I set it up so we can hear everything.
I'm gonna need one of you to be armed.
866
00:36:43,208 --> 00:36:45,583
- Mr. Spitz, can you handle a gun?
- [Nick] Yes.
867
00:36:45,583 --> 00:36:47,541
- I told you, I was on the force. What?
- Um...
868
00:36:47,541 --> 00:36:49,708
[hesitates]
I just think maybe I should handle it.
869
00:36:49,708 --> 00:36:51,166
- You should handle it?
- Just--
870
00:36:51,166 --> 00:36:52,500
- Why would that--
- Your aim is--
871
00:36:52,500 --> 00:36:53,958
My aim? My aim is fine.
872
00:36:53,958 --> 00:36:55,958
- Why are you saying this?
- He can't hear--
873
00:36:55,958 --> 00:36:58,875
That's like me saying you wear Spanx
in front of a supermodel.
874
00:36:58,875 --> 00:37:02,375
So, uh, I'll take the gun
'cause I'm very good with a gun.
875
00:37:02,375 --> 00:37:05,541
They used to call me "Nicky Guns"
on the force. That was my nickname.
876
00:37:05,541 --> 00:37:09,666
Gang members used to ask me for advice
on the weekends 'cause I shot so well.
877
00:37:09,666 --> 00:37:11,583
I'd say, "I can't.
I don't wanna help you guys."
878
00:37:11,583 --> 00:37:12,666
You take the gun.
879
00:37:12,666 --> 00:37:15,333
I'll take the gun.
I got the phone, and you got the money.
880
00:37:15,333 --> 00:37:18,458
When they call, I want you to follow
the three rules of ransom drops
881
00:37:18,458 --> 00:37:19,833
from Chapter 12 of my book.
882
00:37:19,833 --> 00:37:21,708
Can you do that? Remember what they are?
883
00:37:21,708 --> 00:37:25,666
Number one.
Um, follow all reasonable instructions.
884
00:37:25,666 --> 00:37:26,958
- Yes.
- [Audrey] Number two.
885
00:37:26,958 --> 00:37:31,041
Do not hand off the ransom
until you see the kidnappee.
886
00:37:31,041 --> 00:37:31,958
[Miller] Exactly.
887
00:37:31,958 --> 00:37:36,083
And number three. Do not go
to a secondary location with them.
888
00:37:36,666 --> 00:37:38,333
Perfect. You'll be fine.
889
00:37:38,333 --> 00:37:39,625
Off you go.
890
00:37:39,625 --> 00:37:41,750
- Okay.
- "Nicky Guns" style. Let's go!
891
00:37:41,750 --> 00:37:43,833
[tense music playing]
892
00:37:49,416 --> 00:37:51,500
- Cool.
- I'm gonna hand you this.
893
00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:54,666
You gotta tell me
who on earth ever called you "Nicky Guns."
894
00:37:54,666 --> 00:37:57,958
You gotta tell me who didn't call me that.
Everybody called me that.
895
00:37:57,958 --> 00:37:59,708
This is the heaviest goddamn
896
00:37:59,708 --> 00:38:01,125
case of money I've ever felt.
897
00:38:01,125 --> 00:38:03,166
Why couldn't they Venmo?
This thing weighs...
898
00:38:03,166 --> 00:38:04,625
My hands are killing me.
899
00:38:04,625 --> 00:38:06,708
I'm gonna go two hands.
Does that look weird?
900
00:38:06,708 --> 00:38:09,458
- [Audrey] Your hands are cute.
- [Nick] "Cute"? What does that mean?
901
00:38:09,458 --> 00:38:11,916
- You have cute hands.
- Your family has orangutan ha--
902
00:38:11,916 --> 00:38:14,000
You grew up thinking
giant hands are normal.
903
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:15,458
[Audrey] I never said dainty hands.
904
00:38:15,458 --> 00:38:18,041
I said it's weird to high-five you
'cause your hands are little.
905
00:38:18,041 --> 00:38:19,666
[Nick] They're average hands.
906
00:38:19,666 --> 00:38:22,041
- Your grandmother can palm a bulldog.
- [Audrey] Oh, please.
907
00:38:22,041 --> 00:38:22,958
[phone ringing]
908
00:38:22,958 --> 00:38:24,833
Shit, shit, shit. That's the phone.
909
00:38:24,833 --> 00:38:26,041
Okay, here we go.
910
00:38:26,041 --> 00:38:27,583
Initiate the trace.
911
00:38:27,583 --> 00:38:33,166
Hi. Bonjour, uh, madame or
mademoiselle or monsieur. Go ahead.
912
00:38:33,166 --> 00:38:34,250
[Vik] Nick, it's me!
913
00:38:34,250 --> 00:38:35,333
[screams]
914
00:38:35,333 --> 00:38:36,500
[Nick] Rajah! You okay?
915
00:38:36,500 --> 00:38:39,958
So we got the money, and we just
need to know where to bring it.
916
00:38:39,958 --> 00:38:42,083
So tell us,
and we'll get you out of there.
917
00:38:42,083 --> 00:38:43,791
- [Vik yelps]
- What happened?
918
00:38:43,791 --> 00:38:47,416
[kidnapper] You have your proof of life.
Now take the money to the van at the curb.
919
00:38:47,416 --> 00:38:48,416
Okay.
920
00:38:48,416 --> 00:38:50,791
- Wh-- Wh-- What van?
- Van?
921
00:38:50,791 --> 00:38:52,958
What van are we talking about?
That van there?
922
00:38:52,958 --> 00:38:55,916
[kidnapper] Don't point, you idiot!
Just casually walk in that direction.
923
00:38:55,916 --> 00:38:57,208
Okay. Okay. I'm coming.
924
00:38:57,208 --> 00:38:59,791
[kidnapper] Anything out of the ordinary,
and the Maharajah dies.
925
00:38:59,791 --> 00:39:01,583
Don't do that. Okay, we're coming.
926
00:39:02,250 --> 00:39:03,625
We gotta go to the van.
927
00:39:03,625 --> 00:39:05,333
- That van?
- No! Don't point.
928
00:39:05,333 --> 00:39:06,875
He doesn't like pointing. That van.
929
00:39:09,083 --> 00:39:09,916
Oh shit.
930
00:39:09,916 --> 00:39:11,416
Get in the van.
931
00:39:11,416 --> 00:39:14,291
We'll give you the money
in exchange for the Maharajah.
932
00:39:14,291 --> 00:39:15,291
He's not far.
933
00:39:15,291 --> 00:39:17,166
Get in the van.
934
00:39:17,166 --> 00:39:19,625
- Don't get in the van!
- [Claudette speaking French]
935
00:39:19,625 --> 00:39:22,458
- That wasn't part of the deal.
- Number three. Don't get in the van.
936
00:39:22,458 --> 00:39:25,333
Get in the van,
or I'll shoot you both in the stomach,
937
00:39:25,333 --> 00:39:28,083
take you to the countryside,
and feed you to the swine.
938
00:39:28,083 --> 00:39:30,458
- Okay. Let's get in the van.
- Okay, okay, okay.
939
00:39:30,458 --> 00:39:32,125
Okay, sorry. Yes, yes, yes, yes.
940
00:39:36,958 --> 00:39:38,583
Stupid Americans.
941
00:39:39,375 --> 00:39:40,250
[scoffs]
942
00:39:46,375 --> 00:39:48,083
- Give us the money!
- Give you the money.
943
00:39:48,083 --> 00:39:50,500
- All right. You got it.
- Just give him the money!
944
00:39:50,500 --> 00:39:52,375
- One second.
- I do have these too.
945
00:39:52,375 --> 00:39:53,708
What the fuck?
946
00:39:53,708 --> 00:39:56,500
I brought these for us
in case we wanted to celebrate after,
947
00:39:56,500 --> 00:39:58,166
but I'm gonna change the plans.
948
00:39:58,166 --> 00:40:02,166
So what I'll do is put this on here,
and I'll put this on here.
949
00:40:02,875 --> 00:40:05,125
This goes wherever we go now.
950
00:40:05,125 --> 00:40:07,375
You understand? I don't know where the--
951
00:40:07,375 --> 00:40:08,791
- No!
952
00:40:08,791 --> 00:40:10,166
- What happened?
- Hello?
953
00:40:10,166 --> 00:40:11,291
We're offline?
954
00:40:11,291 --> 00:40:12,541
Stand by.
955
00:40:12,541 --> 00:40:15,958
Take us to the Maharajah now.
What do you think of that?
956
00:40:15,958 --> 00:40:17,250
Chop off his hand.
957
00:40:17,250 --> 00:40:18,375
- Chop off my hand?
- What?
958
00:40:18,375 --> 00:40:20,041
- [kidnapper] Yes!
- No! Hatchet!
959
00:40:20,041 --> 00:40:21,875
- Find the key.
- I do know where the key is.
960
00:40:21,875 --> 00:40:23,541
- Look in here.
- No, no, no. Shoot.
961
00:40:23,541 --> 00:40:25,750
- Shoot, I can't find it.
- Check your other pockets!
962
00:40:25,750 --> 00:40:30,250
Son of a gun! I can't seem
to pull the trigger on finding the key.
963
00:40:30,250 --> 00:40:33,416
- [Audrey] What are you talking about?
- Your gun! Shoot this asshole!
964
00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:35,791
- [grunts]
- [screams]
965
00:40:39,708 --> 00:40:40,833
Oh my God!
966
00:40:44,625 --> 00:40:45,750
[yells, pants]
967
00:40:45,750 --> 00:40:47,375
[yells]
968
00:40:48,666 --> 00:40:49,625
[groans]
969
00:40:49,625 --> 00:40:50,916
[Audrey] Oh my God!
970
00:40:50,916 --> 00:40:52,708
Oh my God, I'm so sorry!
971
00:40:52,708 --> 00:40:55,291
Don't apologize, honey.
You killed the kidnapper!
972
00:40:55,291 --> 00:40:56,458
[all yelling]
973
00:40:56,458 --> 00:40:57,416
Oh my God!
974
00:40:59,666 --> 00:41:01,000
Shoot this guy!
975
00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:03,416
Can I shoot him in the leg?
I don't wanna kill anybody else!
976
00:41:03,416 --> 00:41:06,083
What is the difference?
You're already a murderer!
977
00:41:06,083 --> 00:41:08,083
I don't wanna be a mass murderer!
978
00:41:08,083 --> 00:41:09,541
[both grunting]
979
00:41:11,666 --> 00:41:13,625
- [Nick] Grab the hatchet!
- [Audrey] Okay!
980
00:41:15,750 --> 00:41:16,916
[brakes squeal]
981
00:41:16,916 --> 00:41:18,875
[crowd gasps and exclaims]
982
00:41:18,875 --> 00:41:19,958
[gasps]
983
00:41:19,958 --> 00:41:20,875
What?
984
00:41:20,875 --> 00:41:22,166
[horn honks]
985
00:41:22,166 --> 00:41:23,833
Oh my God!
986
00:41:23,833 --> 00:41:26,250
Sweetheart,
you're not just a mass murderer.
987
00:41:26,250 --> 00:41:27,791
You're an axe murderer!
988
00:41:27,791 --> 00:41:28,875
[yells]
989
00:41:28,875 --> 00:41:30,916
[Audrey] Honey, he's moving. Oh my God.
990
00:41:30,916 --> 00:41:33,041
I think he might be... He might be okay.
991
00:41:33,041 --> 00:41:36,375
[groans] Those are death twitches, honey!
992
00:41:36,375 --> 00:41:37,666
[grunts]
993
00:41:40,583 --> 00:41:42,083
[Audrey] Jesus!
994
00:41:43,125 --> 00:41:44,166
[horns blare]
995
00:41:44,166 --> 00:41:45,500
[Audrey] His foot's on the gas!
996
00:41:47,458 --> 00:41:49,666
- Grab the wheel!
- Oh God!
997
00:41:51,750 --> 00:41:54,625
["Le coeur au bout des doigts"
by Jacqueline Taïeb playing]
998
00:41:57,291 --> 00:42:00,041
Oh shit! It's so gross!
I touched... I touched it!
999
00:42:00,833 --> 00:42:01,791
[car horn blares]
1000
00:42:02,458 --> 00:42:05,541
[Nick] Oh yeah! Who's gonna feed who
to the swine now, huh?
1001
00:42:06,125 --> 00:42:08,125
That's the dead guy, Nick!
1002
00:42:08,125 --> 00:42:09,083
Oh yeah.
1003
00:42:09,083 --> 00:42:11,291
[men grunting]
1004
00:42:15,500 --> 00:42:16,375
[Audrey] People, move!
1005
00:42:17,375 --> 00:42:18,416
[horn tooting]
1006
00:42:21,541 --> 00:42:22,583
Oh shit!
1007
00:42:22,583 --> 00:42:24,916
[Nick]
Are you literally hitting everything?
1008
00:42:33,333 --> 00:42:34,666
[Audrey yells]
1009
00:42:35,666 --> 00:42:37,500
[grunting]
1010
00:42:37,500 --> 00:42:40,000
- [Nick] Door's open!
- Oh my God! What did you do?
1011
00:42:44,250 --> 00:42:45,791
[Nick yelling]
1012
00:42:45,791 --> 00:42:47,083
Oh God! Honey!
1013
00:42:51,625 --> 00:42:53,583
Whoa! Oh!
1014
00:42:54,541 --> 00:42:56,208
Oh my God!
1015
00:42:59,625 --> 00:43:00,750
Argh!
1016
00:43:01,583 --> 00:43:02,583
Honey, pole!
1017
00:43:02,583 --> 00:43:04,750
- What?
- There's a pole!
1018
00:43:05,625 --> 00:43:06,583
I can't hear you!
1019
00:43:08,208 --> 00:43:09,166
Oh my God.
1020
00:43:09,166 --> 00:43:10,083
Never mind.
1021
00:43:10,708 --> 00:43:11,708
[Nick yells]
1022
00:43:12,541 --> 00:43:14,541
[dramatic music playing]
1023
00:43:15,875 --> 00:43:17,500
[panting] Okay, baby.
1024
00:43:19,291 --> 00:43:20,833
[both yelling]
1025
00:43:22,833 --> 00:43:24,625
[diners scream and gasp]
1026
00:43:29,875 --> 00:43:31,833
[both panting]
1027
00:43:31,833 --> 00:43:34,250
- Bonjour.
- Bonjour. Are you all okay?
1028
00:43:34,250 --> 00:43:37,083
- [Nick] Sorry. Let me get down.
- [Audrey] Careful. Oh my goodness!
1029
00:43:37,083 --> 00:43:39,041
- Ow! Jesus!
- [Nick] Everybody okay there?
1030
00:43:39,041 --> 00:43:41,125
- Oh my God.
- Hi. Hi. How was lunch?
1031
00:43:41,125 --> 00:43:43,166
[TV playing in background]
1032
00:43:43,958 --> 00:43:44,916
- What?
- What?
1033
00:43:44,916 --> 00:43:46,875
[in French] Nick and Audrey Spitz...
1034
00:43:46,875 --> 00:43:48,458
- What?
- What?
1035
00:43:49,125 --> 00:43:50,291
[Nick] Oh no.
1036
00:43:50,291 --> 00:43:52,083
{\an8}[newsreader continues in French]
1037
00:43:52,083 --> 00:43:54,000
{\an8}- [Audrey] Wait. What? No!
- [Nick] What the--
1038
00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:56,291
I didn't take a cheese knife.
I took the cheese!
1039
00:43:56,291 --> 00:43:58,375
Why did you grab it?
Why did you have cheese?
1040
00:43:58,375 --> 00:44:00,791
I had cheese
because I had the hookah munchies,
1041
00:44:00,791 --> 00:44:02,250
and it was good cheese.
1042
00:44:02,250 --> 00:44:04,583
That knife never left the room, Nick.
1043
00:44:04,583 --> 00:44:08,125
But it did leave the room. Maybe they
stole the knife so they could deepfake us.
1044
00:44:08,125 --> 00:44:10,916
- Our fingerprints are all over it!
- C'est caca!
1045
00:44:10,916 --> 00:44:13,416
- We did not do this.
- [French accent] Television say bullshit!
1046
00:44:13,416 --> 00:44:17,125
- We're not capable of doing anything...
- Nous sommes innocents!
1047
00:44:17,125 --> 00:44:18,416
- Innocents!
- ...like this.
1048
00:44:18,416 --> 00:44:20,833
Like, uh, opposite of O.J.!
1049
00:44:20,833 --> 00:44:22,541
[Audrey] We would never do this.
1050
00:44:22,541 --> 00:44:24,500
- I swear! I promise you!
- No.
1051
00:44:24,500 --> 00:44:26,208
[all gasp]
1052
00:44:29,583 --> 00:44:31,416
[tires screeching]
1053
00:44:31,416 --> 00:44:32,500
[people clamoring]
1054
00:44:37,916 --> 00:44:38,750
- [Audrey sighs]
- Hey!
1055
00:44:38,750 --> 00:44:39,666
Oh God!
1056
00:44:40,250 --> 00:44:42,291
I told you not to get in the van.
1057
00:44:42,291 --> 00:44:43,583
- We--
- The guy had a gun!
1058
00:44:43,583 --> 00:44:45,625
- What do you mean? You had a gun!
- [Nick] Yeah--
1059
00:44:45,625 --> 00:44:47,791
- I used the gun!
- She used it good!
1060
00:44:47,791 --> 00:44:50,333
Do you see
what they're doing to us on the TV?
1061
00:44:50,333 --> 00:44:52,291
- That's been digitally altered.
- [Nick] Yes!
1062
00:44:52,291 --> 00:44:55,750
- I knew you'd see through that.
- Thank you for noticing. That's a pro.
1063
00:44:55,750 --> 00:44:57,250
Is the case intact?
1064
00:44:58,208 --> 00:44:59,708
[all yelling]
1065
00:45:02,125 --> 00:45:03,708
[laughing] Well!
1066
00:45:03,708 --> 00:45:04,708
We did that!
1067
00:45:04,708 --> 00:45:07,291
- That was nice!
- How did they find us so fast?
1068
00:45:07,291 --> 00:45:08,875
They've got 70 million reasons.
1069
00:45:08,875 --> 00:45:11,291
- Ah!
- Give me the case. Do you have the key?
1070
00:45:11,291 --> 00:45:13,708
The key? For what?
These are sex handcuffs.
1071
00:45:13,708 --> 00:45:15,708
Look. All I gotta do is this.
1072
00:45:17,083 --> 00:45:17,916
[Nick chuckles]
1073
00:45:18,666 --> 00:45:21,000
Okay. When they see me with this,
they'll follow me.
1074
00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:22,625
- [Nick] Right.
- Nothing I can't handle.
1075
00:45:22,625 --> 00:45:23,583
I see that.
1076
00:45:23,583 --> 00:45:25,791
Meet at the Madeleine, 1900 hours.
1077
00:45:25,791 --> 00:45:27,583
No problem. Yeah, we'll be there.
1078
00:45:28,291 --> 00:45:29,958
I was harsh about your business before.
1079
00:45:29,958 --> 00:45:32,708
We may not be equals,
but we do share a passion.
1080
00:45:33,333 --> 00:45:34,375
I see that now.
1081
00:45:34,375 --> 00:45:35,500
Hurrah!
1082
00:45:35,500 --> 00:45:37,625
Hey, I was wrong. That guy is a stud.
1083
00:45:37,625 --> 00:45:38,541
Honey...
1084
00:45:39,291 --> 00:45:40,958
What if Miller's the kidnapper?
1085
00:45:40,958 --> 00:45:43,500
[Nick] He said he's gonna meet us
at 1900 hours at the Madeleine.
1086
00:45:43,500 --> 00:45:45,666
I know, but bad people, they lie.
1087
00:45:45,666 --> 00:45:49,708
All right?
And we just handed the guy $70 million.
1088
00:45:49,708 --> 00:45:52,000
- Oh God. Maybe you're right.
- I'm just saying.
1089
00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:52,916
[engine turns over]
1090
00:45:55,875 --> 00:45:57,708
Nope, you were wrong.
1091
00:46:01,166 --> 00:46:03,666
- Who's this?
- I don't know. Where'd he come from?
1092
00:46:04,916 --> 00:46:07,666
- [Nick] He's gonna walk into the flames?
- He walked right into that.
1093
00:46:09,250 --> 00:46:10,416
He's got the case!
1094
00:46:10,958 --> 00:46:11,791
[man grunts]
1095
00:46:11,791 --> 00:46:13,791
- No! Oh my God!
- Now I'm very confused!
1096
00:46:13,791 --> 00:46:16,041
- [Audrey] Oh no. Who's that guy?
- [Nick] This guy?
1097
00:46:16,041 --> 00:46:16,958
Oh my God!
1098
00:46:18,291 --> 00:46:21,000
[Audrey whispering] N-E-4-1-3-D-A-N.
1099
00:46:21,000 --> 00:46:23,541
We're Europe's most wanted again.
We better run!
1100
00:46:23,541 --> 00:46:25,541
- I'm gonna grab... Okay.
- Grab that hat.
1101
00:46:26,250 --> 00:46:28,125
- What is... Um...
- [Nick] What is this?
1102
00:46:28,125 --> 00:46:31,416
{\an8}- [Delacroix speaking French]
- [Nick] It's Delacroix! That guy loves us.
1103
00:46:31,416 --> 00:46:33,458
{\an8}[continues in French]
1104
00:46:33,458 --> 00:46:36,166
- I understood "opera." Okay. Go, go, go!
- Okay. Okay.
1105
00:46:38,125 --> 00:46:40,750
[people clamoring on TV]
1106
00:46:40,750 --> 00:46:43,875
[both singing "Flower Duet" by Delibes]
1107
00:47:13,791 --> 00:47:15,250
- [gasps] How?
- [Audrey] Surprise!
1108
00:47:15,250 --> 00:47:16,291
Audrey and Nick!
1109
00:47:16,291 --> 00:47:19,583
- Smoke rings! How you doing?
- Hi! Did you get our Christmas card?
1110
00:47:19,583 --> 00:47:22,750
I'm fine, and yes.
The matching sweaters were a nice touch.
1111
00:47:22,750 --> 00:47:24,375
- [laughs softly]
- That was my idea.
1112
00:47:24,375 --> 00:47:26,916
So, hey, we need a little bit of help.
1113
00:47:26,916 --> 00:47:28,708
- We need a lot of help.
- [Nick] Yeah.
1114
00:47:29,291 --> 00:47:31,250
- You are under arrest.
- [Nick] No!
1115
00:47:32,125 --> 00:47:34,083
I can never tell
when you're being serious.
1116
00:47:34,083 --> 00:47:35,708
He looks serious. Are you serious?
1117
00:47:35,708 --> 00:47:37,708
For kidnapping the Maharajah,
1118
00:47:37,708 --> 00:47:39,208
murdering his bodyguard,
1119
00:47:39,208 --> 00:47:41,666
stealing $70 million,
1120
00:47:41,666 --> 00:47:43,916
destroying many city blocks,
1121
00:47:43,916 --> 00:47:46,041
and, I'm assuming,
sneaking into the opera.
1122
00:47:46,041 --> 00:47:48,916
- We didn't do all of that.
- We did number four and number six.
1123
00:47:48,916 --> 00:47:50,458
We're just... We're being framed.
1124
00:47:50,458 --> 00:47:52,375
[Nick] We got a hunch who really did it.
1125
00:47:52,375 --> 00:47:54,541
We need you to track
this license plate for us.
1126
00:47:54,541 --> 00:47:56,791
Nothing would give me greater pleasure,
1127
00:47:56,791 --> 00:48:00,958
but then I would have to immediately
report such help to my superiors,
1128
00:48:00,958 --> 00:48:03,291
or I would be guilty
of aiding and abetting.
1129
00:48:03,291 --> 00:48:05,291
How's this? We can tie you up,
1130
00:48:05,291 --> 00:48:08,458
and then you can say
we forced you into helping us.
1131
00:48:08,458 --> 00:48:09,708
[sighs]
1132
00:48:09,708 --> 00:48:11,333
Wait, wait. Who are you calling?
1133
00:48:11,333 --> 00:48:12,958
I'm not calling anyone.
1134
00:48:12,958 --> 00:48:16,125
I have an app
to track the vehicle with that plate.
1135
00:48:16,125 --> 00:48:17,750
They have an app for that?
1136
00:48:17,750 --> 00:48:19,041
- [Delacroix] Mm-hmm.
- Tsk!
1137
00:48:19,041 --> 00:48:21,541
God. You got Shazam on that after?
1138
00:48:21,541 --> 00:48:23,791
I just... I wanna know what song this is.
1139
00:48:24,708 --> 00:48:28,375
[Nick] So the app says
the truck is parked out by a château
1140
00:48:28,375 --> 00:48:30,083
that's 80 kilometers away?
1141
00:48:30,083 --> 00:48:31,916
[Delacroix] Mm-hmm. Excuse me.
1142
00:48:31,916 --> 00:48:33,250
Can you scratch my nose?
1143
00:48:34,250 --> 00:48:35,083
Oh.
1144
00:48:35,083 --> 00:48:36,583
Uh... Uh, softer.
1145
00:48:36,583 --> 00:48:39,250
Softer. Hmm. [moaning]
1146
00:48:41,375 --> 00:48:43,916
- Thank you.
- Also, do you have a car we can borrow?
1147
00:48:44,583 --> 00:48:46,458
- The keys are in my pants pocket.
- [Audrey] Okay.
1148
00:48:46,458 --> 00:48:49,958
You talking to Audrey on that one too?
I'll handle the pants pocket.
1149
00:48:49,958 --> 00:48:52,583
What can I say?
[chuckles] Shooters gotta shoot.
1150
00:48:52,583 --> 00:48:53,625
[Nick chuckles]
1151
00:48:53,625 --> 00:48:56,833
Okay, is this a potato or a key
'cause I'm... Okay, got it.
1152
00:48:56,833 --> 00:48:58,625
- [Audrey] We'll take care of it.
- Hey, hey.
1153
00:48:58,625 --> 00:49:00,416
Okay, no food in my car.
1154
00:49:02,041 --> 00:49:05,625
[Nick] Man, I bet Delacroix's
got a sick-ass vehicle.
1155
00:49:07,375 --> 00:49:08,958
[vehicle humming]
1156
00:49:08,958 --> 00:49:11,291
[Édith Piaf song playing over radio]
1157
00:49:11,291 --> 00:49:12,583
[Colonel speaking indistinctly]
1158
00:49:12,583 --> 00:49:13,750
[cell phone ringing]
1159
00:49:14,333 --> 00:49:15,333
[Colonel] Excuse me.
1160
00:49:17,666 --> 00:49:18,875
Bonsoir, Inspector.
1161
00:49:18,875 --> 00:49:20,791
- Bonsoir, Colonel!
- Enchanté!
1162
00:49:26,291 --> 00:49:27,750
The police are looking for you.
1163
00:49:27,750 --> 00:49:30,625
Yeah, no kidding.
Colonel, we did not do this.
1164
00:49:30,625 --> 00:49:31,708
[Colonel] I know that,
1165
00:49:31,708 --> 00:49:34,291
but they have your fingerprints
all over the murder weapon
1166
00:49:34,291 --> 00:49:36,666
and footage of you
running out of the tent with it.
1167
00:49:36,666 --> 00:49:39,916
- [Nick] Yeah.
- Typical Spitz vacation insanity.
1168
00:49:39,916 --> 00:49:42,083
Miller's dead, by the way,
and we lost the money.
1169
00:49:42,083 --> 00:49:43,666
It just looks like you took it.
1170
00:49:43,666 --> 00:49:46,750
It gets worse! The kidnappers just called.
They've given us
1171
00:49:46,750 --> 00:49:48,750
a midnight deadline
to come up with the money,
1172
00:49:48,750 --> 00:49:50,333
or they will kill the Maharajah.
1173
00:49:50,333 --> 00:49:52,833
Okay, Colonel,
will you just stall for us until then?
1174
00:49:52,833 --> 00:49:55,083
- [Nick] Merci beaucoup!
- [Audrey] Thank you, Colonel!
1175
00:50:02,333 --> 00:50:05,041
[car motor humming]
1176
00:50:08,666 --> 00:50:09,875
Oh my God!
1177
00:50:09,875 --> 00:50:13,041
Well, now you know why
the kidnapper needs $70 million.
1178
00:50:13,041 --> 00:50:14,416
For the heating bill.
1179
00:50:17,833 --> 00:50:19,125
- [inhales sharply]
- [Nick] Uh-huh.
1180
00:50:19,125 --> 00:50:20,416
Oh boy.
1181
00:50:20,416 --> 00:50:24,333
Okay, so that moat's, like, three meters?
1182
00:50:24,833 --> 00:50:26,041
I think I can clear that.
1183
00:50:26,041 --> 00:50:28,333
Nick, three meters is, like, ten feet.
1184
00:50:28,333 --> 00:50:30,916
I had the high school record
for the long jump.
1185
00:50:30,916 --> 00:50:33,958
And I'm not kidding.
I went further than that back in the day.
1186
00:50:33,958 --> 00:50:35,833
- Hmm. Did you?
- Yeah.
1187
00:50:35,833 --> 00:50:38,833
What'd they call you back then?
"Nicky Long Legs"?
1188
00:50:38,833 --> 00:50:39,750
You're mocking me?
1189
00:50:39,750 --> 00:50:41,916
[Audrey] You're not gonna make that jump.
1190
00:50:41,916 --> 00:50:44,416
It doesn't make me feel good
to prove you wrong, but I'm gonna.
1191
00:50:44,416 --> 00:50:45,916
- All right?
- [Audrey] Mm-hmm.
1192
00:50:49,083 --> 00:50:52,125
Okay, from that angle,
it does look further than three meters.
1193
00:50:52,125 --> 00:50:53,541
- Oh shoot.
- What do you think?
1194
00:50:53,541 --> 00:50:56,958
- Do you think maybe you could do it?
- Now you want me to make that jump?
1195
00:50:56,958 --> 00:50:58,041
[gun cocks]
1196
00:50:59,041 --> 00:51:00,125
Bonsoir.
1197
00:51:00,125 --> 00:51:01,458
[both] Countess?
1198
00:51:01,458 --> 00:51:02,875
Surprised?
1199
00:51:02,875 --> 00:51:03,875
[both] Yeah.
1200
00:51:03,875 --> 00:51:05,833
- Did you hear we just said...
- [both] "Countess?"
1201
00:51:07,666 --> 00:51:08,541
Oh God.
1202
00:51:10,125 --> 00:51:11,166
[Audrey groans]
1203
00:51:11,750 --> 00:51:13,000
Where's Vik?
1204
00:51:14,208 --> 00:51:15,750
I guess the kidnappers have him.
1205
00:51:15,750 --> 00:51:17,708
Kid... You're not the kidnappers?
1206
00:51:17,708 --> 00:51:18,791
No, no, no.
1207
00:51:19,375 --> 00:51:22,416
I would never do such a thing.
Vikram is my friend.
1208
00:51:22,416 --> 00:51:23,541
[scoffs] Your friend.
1209
00:51:24,041 --> 00:51:24,958
You loved him.
1210
00:51:26,166 --> 00:51:27,750
[coughing] Oh God!
1211
00:51:27,750 --> 00:51:29,541
- I love money.
- Hmm, hmm, hmm.
1212
00:51:29,541 --> 00:51:32,666
When I heard you two amateurs
are gonna be handling so much of it,
1213
00:51:32,666 --> 00:51:33,791
I just had to have it.
1214
00:51:33,791 --> 00:51:35,916
"Had to have it." [giggles]
1215
00:51:35,916 --> 00:51:38,708
- So you didn't plant that knife?
- Or deepfake that footage?
1216
00:51:38,708 --> 00:51:41,208
Or slip something
into our drinks that night at the villa?
1217
00:51:41,208 --> 00:51:44,916
- Why bring that up? It's not relevant.
- [Audrey] Of course that is relevant!
1218
00:51:44,916 --> 00:51:47,625
- It's extremely relev--
- All right! All right! Jesus!
1219
00:51:47,625 --> 00:51:48,541
- God!
- [Nick] Yo.
1220
00:51:48,541 --> 00:51:50,750
Two bad guys never works out.
1221
00:51:50,750 --> 00:51:53,791
- One always double-crosses the other.
- [Audrey] It's a cliché of the genre.
1222
00:51:53,791 --> 00:51:56,083
- We've seen this before. Trust us.
- So many times.
1223
00:51:56,083 --> 00:51:57,166
- Save yourself.
- Please.
1224
00:51:57,166 --> 00:51:59,750
Imani? Is the car ready for our getaway?
1225
00:51:59,750 --> 00:52:01,541
- Yes, Countess.
- [Countess] Brilliant.
1226
00:52:02,375 --> 00:52:03,833
- No!
- No! Don't!
1227
00:52:03,833 --> 00:52:05,166
[gasps]
1228
00:52:06,208 --> 00:52:08,416
- [Audrey] Oh my God.
- I couldn't have been more clear.
1229
00:52:08,416 --> 00:52:09,791
[Audrey] That is the cliché.
1230
00:52:09,791 --> 00:52:11,041
- Yeah.
- Right there.
1231
00:52:11,041 --> 00:52:11,958
[Nick] Mm-hmm.
1232
00:52:11,958 --> 00:52:15,833
With any luck, the smoke will get to you
before the flames do.
1233
00:52:19,083 --> 00:52:20,416
- [both gasp]
- No!
1234
00:52:21,083 --> 00:52:21,916
Oops.
1235
00:52:23,833 --> 00:52:25,000
- [gunshots]
- [gasps]
1236
00:52:26,708 --> 00:52:27,625
[Audrey] What?
1237
00:52:27,625 --> 00:52:29,875
Triple cross.
1238
00:52:29,875 --> 00:52:31,791
[chuckles, groans]
1239
00:52:34,541 --> 00:52:37,750
Oh my God. We are so getting blamed
for both those assholes being dead.
1240
00:52:37,750 --> 00:52:38,791
[Nick] Let's go!
1241
00:52:38,791 --> 00:52:40,166
- We gotta hop out of here!
- Okay!
1242
00:52:40,166 --> 00:52:42,833
- Come on! Let's go! Let's go! Together!
- [Audrey yelps]
1243
00:52:42,833 --> 00:52:44,583
- Oh my God!
- Go, go, go! Back, back, back!
1244
00:52:44,583 --> 00:52:46,333
To the window! To the window! Go, go!
1245
00:52:46,333 --> 00:52:47,291
Back, back, back!
1246
00:52:47,291 --> 00:52:48,541
- [Audrey] Oh shit!
- [groans]
1247
00:52:48,541 --> 00:52:49,958
- [Audrey] Jesus!
- Are you okay?
1248
00:52:49,958 --> 00:52:52,166
- [Audrey] Are you okay?
- [Nick] You gotta roll away.
1249
00:52:52,166 --> 00:52:54,000
- [Audrey groans]
- No! That way!
1250
00:52:54,000 --> 00:52:54,916
[Audrey groans]
1251
00:52:54,916 --> 00:52:56,625
Oh my God, you're so big!
1252
00:52:56,625 --> 00:53:00,166
That's what you said on our honeymoon,
but like then, we gotta keep trying.
1253
00:53:00,166 --> 00:53:01,833
[both groaning]
1254
00:53:01,833 --> 00:53:05,750
Oh my God, honey! I don't even know
where we're rolling to, honey!
1255
00:53:05,750 --> 00:53:08,083
- [Nick] I don't know!
- [Audrey] Oh my God!
1256
00:53:09,000 --> 00:53:10,708
I was the one who roofied us.
1257
00:53:11,291 --> 00:53:12,541
Wha-- What?
1258
00:53:12,541 --> 00:53:15,125
I mean, you did it,
but it was because of me.
1259
00:53:15,125 --> 00:53:19,583
I keep my Ambien in the Advil bottle
that you use, and I...
1260
00:53:19,583 --> 00:53:21,666
I just get so stressed out. I'm sorry.
1261
00:53:21,666 --> 00:53:22,666
It was all me.
1262
00:53:22,666 --> 00:53:25,458
Don't apologize.
I'm the one who needs to apologize.
1263
00:53:25,458 --> 00:53:28,500
I have been criticizing you so much.
I feel terrible.
1264
00:53:28,500 --> 00:53:30,125
- I'm sorry.
- No. It doesn't matter.
1265
00:53:30,125 --> 00:53:32,375
Your billboards
and dental floss business cards--
1266
00:53:32,375 --> 00:53:35,250
- Dental floss business cards.
- [Audrey] I know, and I didn't think...
1267
00:53:35,250 --> 00:53:37,791
- It's not that it was a bad idea--
- The razor thing on the card!
1268
00:53:37,791 --> 00:53:40,541
I can use it to cut the tape!
I got one in my pocket!
1269
00:53:40,541 --> 00:53:42,458
- Where?
- Right here in the back pocket.
1270
00:53:42,458 --> 00:53:44,625
[Audrey] Oh! Hold on. Hold on! Hold on!
1271
00:53:44,625 --> 00:53:45,958
I'm trying to find it.
1272
00:53:45,958 --> 00:53:47,333
[Nick] Help me. Help me. Get it.
1273
00:53:47,333 --> 00:53:48,416
Get it. Get it. Reach.
1274
00:53:48,416 --> 00:53:51,375
- Reach down. Down. Please, God.
- [Audrey] Got it. I got it!
1275
00:53:51,375 --> 00:53:53,291
Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.
1276
00:53:53,291 --> 00:53:54,916
Are we good? Are we cutting this?
1277
00:53:54,916 --> 00:53:56,625
- Is it working?
- I think it's working.
1278
00:53:56,625 --> 00:53:58,416
[Audrey] Oh my God!
1279
00:53:58,416 --> 00:54:00,166
I love you, dental floss business cards.
1280
00:54:00,166 --> 00:54:02,500
I love you so much.
Oh, please, please, please.
1281
00:54:02,500 --> 00:54:03,791
Yes! Yes!
1282
00:54:03,791 --> 00:54:05,125
Yes!
1283
00:54:05,125 --> 00:54:06,083
Get the feet.
1284
00:54:06,083 --> 00:54:08,333
- I got it!
- [Nick] Come on! Come on! Go! Go!
1285
00:54:09,791 --> 00:54:10,791
[Audrey] Oh no!
1286
00:54:11,375 --> 00:54:13,250
- What are you doing?
- [Nick] Oh God.
1287
00:54:13,250 --> 00:54:16,000
Here, take this.
I'm gonna shoot out the window.
1288
00:54:17,166 --> 00:54:18,125
God!
1289
00:54:19,750 --> 00:54:21,750
My God! It's a French gun!
1290
00:54:21,750 --> 00:54:22,708
[Audrey] Honey!
1291
00:54:22,708 --> 00:54:24,458
- No.
- What?
1292
00:54:25,000 --> 00:54:26,375
No!
1293
00:54:26,375 --> 00:54:29,125
["Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down)"
by Sheila playing]
1294
00:55:01,208 --> 00:55:03,458
Baby! Oh! I love you!
1295
00:55:10,583 --> 00:55:12,125
[both panting]
1296
00:55:12,125 --> 00:55:13,041
Oh God.
1297
00:55:13,750 --> 00:55:14,791
- [turns key]
- [beeping]
1298
00:55:14,791 --> 00:55:15,708
- What?
- No!
1299
00:55:15,708 --> 00:55:18,333
- No, no! No, no, no!
- No, no, no, no, no!
1300
00:55:18,333 --> 00:55:19,750
Shit! Shit!
1301
00:55:19,750 --> 00:55:20,750
Nick.
1302
00:55:21,875 --> 00:55:23,500
["Ti-gars" by Lisa LeBlanc playing]
1303
00:55:25,791 --> 00:55:27,166
This time, I'm driving.
1304
00:55:27,166 --> 00:55:28,083
Okay.
1305
00:55:36,083 --> 00:55:37,458
[Nick strains]
1306
00:55:39,333 --> 00:55:41,416
Are you kidding me? [laughs] I can't...
1307
00:55:42,083 --> 00:55:43,541
You're getting it again, hon.
1308
00:55:43,541 --> 00:55:44,916
- Sorry.
- That's all right.
1309
00:55:48,375 --> 00:55:49,375
[song ends]
1310
00:55:50,666 --> 00:55:52,333
[Delacroix] Mesdames et messieurs...
1311
00:55:52,833 --> 00:55:55,041
My name is Inspector Laurent Delacroix.
1312
00:55:55,875 --> 00:55:59,916
Fifteen minutes ago, Interpol assumed
operational control of this matter
1313
00:55:59,916 --> 00:56:01,916
and assigned me to head the task force.
1314
00:56:02,791 --> 00:56:07,083
Okay, we get it, but why all of a sudden
Interpol gets involved?
1315
00:56:07,083 --> 00:56:09,125
The heinous nature of the crimes.
1316
00:56:09,125 --> 00:56:11,458
Several murders, a kidnapping,
1317
00:56:11,458 --> 00:56:14,041
the destruction
of the oldest café in Paris,
1318
00:56:14,041 --> 00:56:17,958
the tying up of a very handsome opera fan.
1319
00:56:17,958 --> 00:56:19,333
Oh dear God.
1320
00:56:19,333 --> 00:56:23,250
Okay, but why should we believe you'll
be able to find Nick and Audrey Spitz?
1321
00:56:23,250 --> 00:56:25,666
Because I have them on the phone.
1322
00:56:27,166 --> 00:56:29,750
- [Audrey] Hello? Hey. Is everybody there?
- Yes, Audrey.
1323
00:56:29,750 --> 00:56:30,791
Everyone except--
1324
00:56:30,791 --> 00:56:33,000
The Countess and her creepy little friend?
1325
00:56:33,000 --> 00:56:34,916
Give back Vikram, you monsters!
1326
00:56:34,916 --> 00:56:37,291
- You already got the money.
- Yes, we do have the money.
1327
00:56:37,291 --> 00:56:40,500
And if you ever wanna see it again,
you better tell the kidnapper
1328
00:56:40,500 --> 00:56:44,166
to bring the Maharajah
to the Jules Verne restaurant.
1329
00:56:44,166 --> 00:56:45,416
What? The what?
1330
00:56:45,916 --> 00:56:47,291
[Audrey] Jules Verne restaurant.
1331
00:56:47,291 --> 00:56:49,083
Jules Verne restaurant? Ah, Le Ju--
1332
00:56:49,625 --> 00:56:51,291
- Le Jules Verne.
- Oh.
1333
00:56:51,291 --> 00:56:54,333
On the observation deck
at the Eiffel Tower at midnight.
1334
00:56:54,333 --> 00:56:55,250
[Nick] Yes.
1335
00:56:55,250 --> 00:56:56,958
What do you mean?
We don't have my brother.
1336
00:56:56,958 --> 00:56:59,666
- Bullshit!
- Oh, somebody there does, okay?
1337
00:56:59,666 --> 00:57:03,666
So do what my wife just said.
Midnight, Maharajah, alive.
1338
00:57:03,666 --> 00:57:06,500
And, Inspector,
we tried to start your car up
1339
00:57:06,500 --> 00:57:09,125
but, uh, couldn't get it done,
so we left it there.
1340
00:57:09,125 --> 00:57:10,208
What?
1341
00:57:10,208 --> 00:57:12,250
We stole a Lamborghini. You can have that
1342
00:57:12,250 --> 00:57:13,666
when we're done with it.
1343
00:57:13,666 --> 00:57:14,875
Okay.
1344
00:57:16,791 --> 00:57:18,708
{\an8}[dramatic music playing]
1345
00:57:31,083 --> 00:57:32,041
[bell dings]
1346
00:57:38,041 --> 00:57:40,666
Oh my God. So gorgeous.
1347
00:57:41,875 --> 00:57:43,375
Why are you all dressed up?
1348
00:57:43,375 --> 00:57:45,666
We read online there was a dress code.
1349
00:57:45,666 --> 00:57:48,750
We couldn't get into Tavern on the Green
'cause I was wearing shorts one time.
1350
00:57:48,750 --> 00:57:50,208
- Wh-- Where is everybody?
- Yeah.
1351
00:57:50,208 --> 00:57:53,083
We bought out the restaurant
so we wouldn't be disturbed.
1352
00:57:53,083 --> 00:57:55,416
You do understand
the idea of doing this in public
1353
00:57:55,416 --> 00:57:57,416
is so there are actually people around?
1354
00:57:57,416 --> 00:58:00,708
- How did you even get these clothes?
- And you got your hair done?
1355
00:58:00,708 --> 00:58:02,541
Look, we had a situation, all right?
1356
00:58:02,541 --> 00:58:05,875
There was a moat, and then we did...
I don't have to explain myself, okay?
1357
00:58:05,875 --> 00:58:08,083
We'll be the ones
who ask the questions. How's that?
1358
00:58:08,083 --> 00:58:10,791
- Go ahead. Ask the questions.
- Let's review the suspects, shall we?
1359
00:58:10,791 --> 00:58:11,958
[sighs]
1360
00:58:11,958 --> 00:58:13,125
Get comfortable.
1361
00:58:13,125 --> 00:58:15,750
Let's start with Saira Govindan.
1362
00:58:15,750 --> 00:58:16,833
Me?
1363
00:58:16,833 --> 00:58:17,916
[Audrey] Mm.
1364
00:58:17,916 --> 00:58:19,208
I defended you.
1365
00:58:20,041 --> 00:58:21,333
I actually really liked you.
1366
00:58:21,333 --> 00:58:24,500
I know you did. We really liked you.
You've been so nice to us.
1367
00:58:24,500 --> 00:58:26,125
It's just kind of what we do.
1368
00:58:26,125 --> 00:58:28,625
Kidnap my own brother?
1369
00:58:28,625 --> 00:58:30,708
- She's getting upset.
- I see. She's in front of me.
1370
00:58:30,708 --> 00:58:32,083
Are you out of your mind?
1371
00:58:32,083 --> 00:58:34,125
- Just move on. Audrey, move on.
- Moving on.
1372
00:58:34,125 --> 00:58:35,166
[Nick] All good, Saira.
1373
00:58:35,166 --> 00:58:37,666
[Audrey] Francisco, chairman of the board.
1374
00:58:38,250 --> 00:58:42,208
With the Maharajah gone,
you can embezzle all the money you want
1375
00:58:42,208 --> 00:58:45,375
to cover all those paternity suits
for your 2,000 children.
1376
00:58:45,375 --> 00:58:47,916
I say we make it 2,001, huh?
1377
00:58:47,916 --> 00:58:48,958
Get out of my face.
1378
00:58:48,958 --> 00:58:50,666
Disgusting pig.
1379
00:58:50,666 --> 00:58:52,166
Claudette Joubert.
1380
00:58:52,166 --> 00:58:53,250
Joubert.
1381
00:58:53,250 --> 00:58:56,041
Parisian shopgirl desperate for money.
1382
00:58:56,625 --> 00:58:59,291
If I wanted money,
don't you think I'd just marry him?
1383
00:58:59,291 --> 00:59:01,916
Not with that brutal prenup
the board had you sign.
1384
00:59:03,333 --> 00:59:05,916
But what about the Colonel?
What's his motive?
1385
00:59:05,916 --> 00:59:10,916
Well, maybe he just is sick of working
for rich people 'cause you guys suck.
1386
00:59:11,666 --> 00:59:17,500
Or maybe the Colonel needed enough money
to afford himself
1387
00:59:18,541 --> 00:59:19,958
a bionic arm.
1388
00:59:20,583 --> 00:59:23,458
I looked into it.
They're not very expensive.
1389
00:59:23,458 --> 00:59:26,166
- How much are we talking?
- Twenty, thirty K.
1390
00:59:26,166 --> 00:59:29,208
That's it? Jeez, maybe I should get
something like that.
1391
00:59:29,208 --> 00:59:31,125
You're gonna have to lose an arm for that.
1392
00:59:31,125 --> 00:59:32,916
I wasn't talking about for the arm.
1393
00:59:32,916 --> 00:59:34,375
[chuckles]
1394
00:59:35,166 --> 00:59:38,291
Okay, we went through everybody.
1395
00:59:39,666 --> 00:59:40,625
Who did it?
1396
00:59:40,625 --> 00:59:42,666
[elevator bell dings]
1397
00:59:44,291 --> 00:59:45,541
[shrieks, laughs]
1398
00:59:45,541 --> 00:59:47,625
- [all laughing]
- Mon amour!
1399
00:59:47,625 --> 00:59:49,416
- Hey, hey, hey.
- [Audrey] Whoa, whoa.
1400
00:59:50,875 --> 00:59:53,458
Um, I've been asked to show you all
1401
00:59:53,458 --> 00:59:55,041
this sick-ass bomb and shit.
1402
00:59:55,041 --> 00:59:56,291
[all gasp]
1403
00:59:56,291 --> 00:59:57,666
Oh my God.
1404
00:59:57,666 --> 01:00:00,166
Enough to blow
this whole damn tower up, G.
1405
01:00:00,166 --> 01:00:05,291
So check it. You gotta put the Benjamins
in the lift and send it to the top floor.
1406
01:00:05,291 --> 01:00:09,208
Once the amount has been chickity-checked,
they'll send down the, uh...
1407
01:00:09,208 --> 01:00:12,166
God, what's it called?
The button blaster thingy? The--
1408
01:00:12,166 --> 01:00:14,208
- The remote detonator?
- Yes, that shit.
1409
01:00:14,208 --> 01:00:17,333
They'll send that back down,
and then we can be outtie.
1410
01:00:17,333 --> 01:00:21,583
And it's a bit of a hurry or something
because, you know...
1411
01:00:21,583 --> 01:00:23,625
- [all] Oh no!
- [Audrey] Oh my God, Nick!
1412
01:00:23,625 --> 01:00:26,875
Nick, Nick, Nick. The money.
You must put it in the elevator.
1413
01:00:26,875 --> 01:00:27,791
- Now!
- Nah.
1414
01:00:27,791 --> 01:00:29,291
- "Nah"?
- What do you mean, "nah"?
1415
01:00:29,291 --> 01:00:32,083
- What are you doing?
- I don't think they'll blow him up.
1416
01:00:32,083 --> 01:00:34,708
Nick, are you really just going
on a hunch right now?
1417
01:00:34,708 --> 01:00:35,791
- Trust me.
- [Vik] Nick!
1418
01:00:35,791 --> 01:00:36,708
Bro-heem!
1419
01:00:36,708 --> 01:00:39,458
No, it's all good in the hood, Maharajah.
1420
01:00:39,458 --> 01:00:42,416
Whoever did this
had some serious training, right?
1421
01:00:42,416 --> 01:00:45,083
'Cause he killed Mr. Lou, a lethal badass.
1422
01:00:45,083 --> 01:00:46,875
We're counting down here, G.
1423
01:00:46,875 --> 01:00:48,375
No, no. Nick, Nick, Nick!
1424
01:00:48,375 --> 01:00:51,625
And we know the kidnapper
had some major hacking skills
1425
01:00:51,625 --> 01:00:53,625
to access that footage
and do the deepfake.
1426
01:00:53,625 --> 01:00:55,083
Come on, Nick!
1427
01:00:55,750 --> 01:00:59,791
He knew exactly where to find
Mr. Lou and Vik backstage at the wedding
1428
01:00:59,791 --> 01:01:02,291
in order to pull off
the elephant switcheroo.
1429
01:01:02,291 --> 01:01:04,250
- But, honey--
- Nick! I'm gonna blow up!
1430
01:01:04,250 --> 01:01:06,000
With all that expertise...
1431
01:01:06,000 --> 01:01:07,875
- God, Nick!
- [rapid beeping]
1432
01:01:07,875 --> 01:01:09,833
...this guy should write a book.
1433
01:01:09,833 --> 01:01:11,666
- Oh my God, Nick!
- [all clamoring]
1434
01:01:11,666 --> 01:01:13,041
[Audrey screams]
1435
01:01:14,166 --> 01:01:16,000
[panting]
1436
01:01:17,500 --> 01:01:19,166
[Vik sighs]
1437
01:01:20,083 --> 01:01:21,375
[moans]
1438
01:01:22,125 --> 01:01:27,416
[sighs] "Thousands of studies have shown
that the kidnapper will do nothing
1439
01:01:27,416 --> 01:01:30,208
to jeopardize
the receiving of the ransom."
1440
01:01:30,208 --> 01:01:35,166
Chapter 9, section 3,
written by Mr. Connor Miller.
1441
01:01:35,750 --> 01:01:37,041
You read the book.
1442
01:01:37,041 --> 01:01:38,958
From cover to cover, sweetheart,
and it sucked.
1443
01:01:38,958 --> 01:01:41,041
You gotta try this. It's so good.
1444
01:01:41,041 --> 01:01:43,125
You just scared the crap out of me.
1445
01:01:43,125 --> 01:01:44,791
- [booming]
- [all screaming]
1446
01:01:50,500 --> 01:01:51,666
[Audrey] What was that?
1447
01:01:53,291 --> 01:01:54,166
What?
1448
01:01:57,166 --> 01:01:58,041
Very impressive.
1449
01:01:58,041 --> 01:02:01,000
How did you get out of that SUV
before it blew up?
1450
01:02:01,000 --> 01:02:02,166
I didn't.
1451
01:02:02,708 --> 01:02:05,500
I climbed into a bomb-proof
titanium chamber in the back seat.
1452
01:02:05,500 --> 01:02:09,541
A public death. What better way
to eliminate himself as a suspect.
1453
01:02:09,541 --> 01:02:13,375
Yeah, yeah. But everything didn't go
according to your plan, did it?
1454
01:02:13,375 --> 01:02:17,125
[Audrey] Your guy had his hand on the case
seconds before a clean getaway.
1455
01:02:17,125 --> 01:02:18,750
[Nick] And boom.
1456
01:02:18,750 --> 01:02:20,958
The greedy ex enters the chat.
1457
01:02:20,958 --> 01:02:24,500
Hmm. $70 million. That's a lot of money,
1458
01:02:24,500 --> 01:02:26,166
even for a countess.
1459
01:02:26,166 --> 01:02:29,750
So she sends Imani over
to hijack the hijackers.
1460
01:02:29,750 --> 01:02:31,541
- Who?
- [both] Imani.
1461
01:02:31,541 --> 01:02:33,666
- [Colonel] Who?
- Iman-- The sidekick to the--
1462
01:02:33,666 --> 01:02:35,833
The Countess's... You know, do the laugh.
1463
01:02:35,833 --> 01:02:36,750
Do I have to?
1464
01:02:36,750 --> 01:02:38,541
- Just knock it out.
- [imitates Imani]
1465
01:02:38,541 --> 01:02:39,833
- Okay.
- Oh.
1466
01:02:39,833 --> 01:02:40,750
Now they know.
1467
01:02:40,750 --> 01:02:42,333
And then she swoops in,
1468
01:02:42,333 --> 01:02:45,916
steals the ransom money
right out from under your nose.
1469
01:02:45,916 --> 01:02:47,416
[laughing]
1470
01:02:47,416 --> 01:02:49,166
- That must have hurt.
- Uh-huh.
1471
01:02:49,166 --> 01:02:52,416
Now, if you had, in fact,
read my book properly,
1472
01:02:52,416 --> 01:02:56,875
you'd remember that revealing the identity
of a heretofore anonymous criminal
1473
01:02:56,875 --> 01:03:01,375
puts all those privy
to that information at risk.
1474
01:03:01,375 --> 01:03:02,750
Which means
1475
01:03:04,375 --> 01:03:06,208
I'm gonna have to kill you all.
1476
01:03:06,708 --> 01:03:09,666
- [all clamoring]
- Oh God! [sobs]
1477
01:03:10,333 --> 01:03:11,500
Gary?
1478
01:03:13,208 --> 01:03:14,416
Who the hell are you?
1479
01:03:15,000 --> 01:03:15,875
I'm Susan.
1480
01:03:18,458 --> 01:03:20,625
- Do you know who this is?
- I have no idea.
1481
01:03:20,625 --> 01:03:25,416
Gary and I met here ten years ago
when I was studying abroad,
1482
01:03:25,416 --> 01:03:28,208
and we promised
that if we still loved each other
1483
01:03:28,208 --> 01:03:30,875
and we hadn't found anyone else,
1484
01:03:30,875 --> 01:03:36,166
that we would meet halfway
up the Eiffel Tower at midnight tonight.
1485
01:03:36,166 --> 01:03:37,958
[poignant music playing]
1486
01:03:37,958 --> 01:03:39,875
And I still love him very much.
1487
01:03:41,416 --> 01:03:43,041
Are any of you Gary?
1488
01:03:45,125 --> 01:03:47,000
Put your hand down, Francisco.
1489
01:03:47,000 --> 01:03:48,458
- [Audrey gasps]
- [Nick grunts]
1490
01:03:48,458 --> 01:03:50,041
- [Audrey] Oh my God!
- [all yelling]
1491
01:03:53,125 --> 01:03:53,958
Whoa!
1492
01:03:53,958 --> 01:03:54,958
Oh God!
1493
01:03:54,958 --> 01:03:56,458
[dramatic music playing]
1494
01:04:00,625 --> 01:04:01,750
Get ready.
1495
01:04:01,750 --> 01:04:03,833
[Delacroix panting]
1496
01:04:05,458 --> 01:04:07,208
It just remains for me to say,
1497
01:04:07,208 --> 01:04:08,666
it's been a pleasure.
1498
01:04:10,750 --> 01:04:12,708
He still has the button blaster thingy!
1499
01:04:16,208 --> 01:04:17,416
[Audrey yells]
1500
01:04:17,416 --> 01:04:19,541
- Audrey!
- [Audrey yelling]
1501
01:04:19,541 --> 01:04:21,708
[tense music playing]
1502
01:04:21,708 --> 01:04:22,750
Oh my God!
1503
01:04:23,416 --> 01:04:25,875
No! This is not what I planned!
1504
01:04:33,416 --> 01:04:34,750
[Audrey yells, pants]
1505
01:04:35,541 --> 01:04:37,666
[groaning]
1506
01:04:39,458 --> 01:04:42,250
There really is no end
to your bad decision-making, is there?
1507
01:04:42,875 --> 01:04:45,083
Nick! I can't believe I'm doing this.
1508
01:04:45,083 --> 01:04:46,666
Take my gun. [groans]
1509
01:04:46,666 --> 01:04:49,750
Wait! You need bullets. In my pocket.
1510
01:04:50,250 --> 01:04:52,416
Oh, you little rascal.
1511
01:04:53,000 --> 01:04:55,291
- You got it in there deep, huh?
- You got it.
1512
01:04:55,291 --> 01:04:56,666
[moans]
1513
01:04:56,666 --> 01:04:59,666
[Nick] Susan, put some pressure
on the inspector's wound.
1514
01:04:59,666 --> 01:05:02,166
Is this like an interactive theater thing?
1515
01:05:09,333 --> 01:05:10,791
[grunts, pants]
1516
01:05:10,791 --> 01:05:12,833
I'm glad my biggest fan
is gonna get to see this.
1517
01:05:12,833 --> 01:05:16,000
Actually, not as much of a fan
as I used to be.
1518
01:05:16,000 --> 01:05:18,416
That's a shame because
I'm about to teach my final lesson...
1519
01:05:18,416 --> 01:05:20,083
[weapons cocking]
1520
01:05:20,083 --> 01:05:22,041
How to blow up the Eiffel Tower
and get away with it.
1521
01:05:22,041 --> 01:05:23,458
You would never do that.
1522
01:05:23,458 --> 01:05:26,416
There's only one thing
I hate more than witnesses,
1523
01:05:26,416 --> 01:05:27,666
and that's the French.
1524
01:05:31,250 --> 01:05:34,583
That door opens,
everyone inside is dead, understand?
1525
01:05:34,583 --> 01:05:36,333
- [elevator bell dings]
- [Audrey] Nick!
1526
01:05:37,000 --> 01:05:39,541
No, Nick! No, no! No, no, no!
1527
01:05:40,333 --> 01:05:42,375
Nick! Oh!
1528
01:05:51,166 --> 01:05:52,083
[Claudette] It's stuck.
1529
01:05:52,083 --> 01:05:54,916
- Get this shit off me. I feel vulnerable!
- The vest is a medium.
1530
01:05:54,916 --> 01:05:56,708
You haven't been
a medium since you were 14!
1531
01:05:56,708 --> 01:05:59,166
Just chill out, please!
Get this vest off me.
1532
01:05:59,166 --> 01:06:00,208
You all right?
1533
01:06:00,208 --> 01:06:02,041
[breathless] I need my vape.
1534
01:06:02,041 --> 01:06:04,125
- Okay.
- [Delacroix] In my pocket there.
1535
01:06:04,125 --> 01:06:05,041
The right pocket.
1536
01:06:05,041 --> 01:06:06,208
- This?
- No, no.
1537
01:06:06,208 --> 01:06:07,750
Oh, no. That's your penis.
1538
01:06:07,750 --> 01:06:09,833
- You got it.
- [Susan] Okay, got it. Got it.
1539
01:06:09,833 --> 01:06:12,416
I don't think this is the best thing
for someone who's been shot,
1540
01:06:12,416 --> 01:06:13,541
but go for it.
1541
01:06:13,541 --> 01:06:15,625
[dramatic music playing]
1542
01:06:27,583 --> 01:06:28,833
Here comes Brooklyn.
1543
01:06:28,833 --> 01:06:30,333
[Nick yells]
1544
01:06:33,833 --> 01:06:34,833
[Audrey yelps]
1545
01:06:36,625 --> 01:06:38,333
[yelps, grunts]
1546
01:06:40,041 --> 01:06:41,416
[powering down sound]
1547
01:06:41,416 --> 01:06:42,416
[all clamoring]
1548
01:06:42,416 --> 01:06:43,708
- It stopped!
- Oh!
1549
01:06:43,708 --> 01:06:44,625
[sighs]
1550
01:06:44,625 --> 01:06:47,875
[all laughing]
1551
01:06:49,291 --> 01:06:50,916
[beeping]
1552
01:06:50,916 --> 01:06:52,500
Oh God!
1553
01:06:52,500 --> 01:06:53,791
[all yelling]
1554
01:06:53,791 --> 01:06:55,833
[intense rock music playing]
1555
01:07:01,125 --> 01:07:02,458
Argh!
1556
01:07:05,041 --> 01:07:07,708
[all yelling]
1557
01:07:07,708 --> 01:07:09,083
Cut that damn thing off!
1558
01:07:09,958 --> 01:07:11,958
[fighting grunts]
1559
01:07:15,000 --> 01:07:16,291
[man screams]
1560
01:07:17,833 --> 01:07:19,583
Step back, or this money goes.
1561
01:07:19,583 --> 01:07:21,041
I don't believe you.
1562
01:07:22,958 --> 01:07:25,166
[Nick screams, grunts]
1563
01:07:34,250 --> 01:07:35,083
Uh-uh.
1564
01:07:35,083 --> 01:07:36,000
[grunts]
1565
01:07:36,541 --> 01:07:39,333
How the hell do you do that
without getting a concussion?
1566
01:07:39,333 --> 01:07:40,708
God's gift!
1567
01:07:41,500 --> 01:07:43,208
He will never blink again.
1568
01:07:43,208 --> 01:07:45,958
- [Audrey] Nick!
- Yeah, we're coming, precious!
1569
01:07:45,958 --> 01:07:47,375
Let me handle this, please.
1570
01:07:48,000 --> 01:07:48,916
Oh!
1571
01:07:48,916 --> 01:07:51,666
Perhaps... a mild concussion.
1572
01:07:59,625 --> 01:08:01,666
- Get the thing off!
- We are all gonna blow up!
1573
01:08:01,666 --> 01:08:02,750
I don't know what to do!
1574
01:08:03,541 --> 01:08:04,916
[Nick] It's all good, babe!
1575
01:08:05,583 --> 01:08:07,666
Nicky Two Guns in the house!
1576
01:08:08,416 --> 01:08:11,125
[slow electronic music playing]
1577
01:08:19,000 --> 01:08:20,000
[music stops]
1578
01:08:21,541 --> 01:08:22,875
Did I hit anything?
1579
01:08:22,875 --> 01:08:24,958
You got the detonator thingy, honey!
1580
01:08:24,958 --> 01:08:26,875
Okay, good! That's what I was aiming for!
1581
01:08:26,875 --> 01:08:28,208
- [powers down]
- [Vik] Ooh!
1582
01:08:31,250 --> 01:08:33,250
[all sighing and laughing]
1583
01:08:33,250 --> 01:08:34,458
Oh, my love.
1584
01:08:34,458 --> 01:08:35,791
[Susan sighs]
1585
01:08:40,250 --> 01:08:42,166
The ring. The rings of love.
1586
01:08:43,500 --> 01:08:47,041
Yes. Okay. We're gonna use the guns
for something else now, aren't we, bro?
1587
01:08:47,041 --> 01:08:49,291
Smacked up your friends pretty good.
You're next.
1588
01:08:49,875 --> 01:08:51,041
What's up? What's up?
1589
01:08:53,458 --> 01:08:54,333
Okay.
1590
01:08:56,541 --> 01:08:58,083
Where you going? Babe!
1591
01:08:58,583 --> 01:08:59,416
Audrey!
1592
01:08:59,416 --> 01:09:00,833
[dramatic music playing]
1593
01:09:07,916 --> 01:09:08,791
Honey!
1594
01:09:08,791 --> 01:09:11,916
It's okay, baby! I got you! Just hang on!
1595
01:09:13,666 --> 01:09:15,625
- [groans]
- [whimpering]
1596
01:09:16,375 --> 01:09:17,291
[Audrey straining]
1597
01:09:21,833 --> 01:09:24,666
I must have missed the chapter
on face-kicking.
1598
01:09:27,083 --> 01:09:28,916
[Audrey screams]
1599
01:09:35,750 --> 01:09:37,333
[screams, grunts]
1600
01:09:39,583 --> 01:09:40,875
[yelling]
1601
01:09:45,875 --> 01:09:47,083
[Audrey] Oh my gosh.
1602
01:09:49,708 --> 01:09:51,833
[grunts] Come here.
1603
01:10:02,416 --> 01:10:04,541
It's time to make it rain, bitch.
1604
01:10:07,333 --> 01:10:09,291
[yelling] No!
1605
01:10:10,125 --> 01:10:12,250
[Nick laughing]
1606
01:10:12,250 --> 01:10:13,166
Oh!
1607
01:10:16,583 --> 01:10:17,416
[Susan] Oh!
1608
01:10:19,916 --> 01:10:21,125
[Audrey yells]
1609
01:10:24,041 --> 01:10:24,916
Come to me!
1610
01:10:27,083 --> 01:10:28,541
- [Nick] No!
- [Audrey grunts]
1611
01:10:29,708 --> 01:10:31,291
[panting]
1612
01:10:34,875 --> 01:10:36,666
[Audrey] No, no, no. Okay.
1613
01:10:39,583 --> 01:10:40,916
Finish off the others.
1614
01:10:46,750 --> 01:10:48,666
Oh... Okay.
1615
01:11:01,666 --> 01:11:03,833
[helicopter blades whirring]
1616
01:11:05,416 --> 01:11:08,041
- [Delacroix] What is that?
- That really killed the vibe.
1617
01:11:10,666 --> 01:11:11,833
[Audrey] Hey, Miller!
1618
01:11:14,916 --> 01:11:16,000
My husband was right.
1619
01:11:16,500 --> 01:11:17,875
Your book sucked.
1620
01:11:19,458 --> 01:11:21,333
She never misses.
1621
01:11:22,083 --> 01:11:23,291
[both groaning]
1622
01:11:23,291 --> 01:11:25,083
I'm so sorry!
1623
01:11:25,083 --> 01:11:27,291
- Now you miss?
- I'm sorry, baby! I'm sorry!
1624
01:11:27,291 --> 01:11:30,333
[screaming] Oh shit!
1625
01:11:30,333 --> 01:11:32,541
Goddamn! Are you aiming for me or him?
1626
01:11:32,541 --> 01:11:34,666
Him, I promise! I promise!
1627
01:11:34,666 --> 01:11:36,541
- Just shoot him. Shoot him!
- Shit!
1628
01:11:36,541 --> 01:11:37,666
- Okay.
- [Nick] Shoot him!
1629
01:11:37,666 --> 01:11:40,166
Uh, I've come to the end of my rope,
you know what I mean?
1630
01:11:40,166 --> 01:11:43,208
My wheels are really turning right now.
They're spinnin', my wheels.
1631
01:11:44,000 --> 01:11:45,083
[gun clicking]
1632
01:11:45,083 --> 01:11:46,750
Oh God. Okay.
1633
01:11:49,041 --> 01:11:49,958
Never misses, huh?
1634
01:11:50,875 --> 01:11:53,375
Not everybody
can be as good as you, I guess.
1635
01:11:59,250 --> 01:12:00,666
Enjoy the ride, Miller.
1636
01:12:00,666 --> 01:12:02,375
- [buzzes]
- [gears whirring]
1637
01:12:05,916 --> 01:12:07,083
[gasps]
1638
01:12:08,125 --> 01:12:09,625
[screaming]
1639
01:12:13,541 --> 01:12:15,000
[grunts]
1640
01:12:15,000 --> 01:12:16,375
Oh my God.
1641
01:12:17,958 --> 01:12:19,041
- [Susan shrieks]
- Get down!
1642
01:12:19,791 --> 01:12:20,791
[gasps]
1643
01:12:23,333 --> 01:12:24,750
- [screams]
- [exclaims]
1644
01:12:24,750 --> 01:12:25,916
- Oh!
- Jeez!
1645
01:12:29,791 --> 01:12:31,000
[beeping]
1646
01:12:39,208 --> 01:12:40,666
Paris is very weird.
1647
01:12:41,541 --> 01:12:42,666
He's dead this time.
1648
01:12:42,666 --> 01:12:44,750
- He's so dead.
- He is. It's done.
1649
01:12:45,416 --> 01:12:48,083
How did you come up with that plan?
How do you do that?
1650
01:12:48,083 --> 01:12:49,750
- I have no idea--
- You're a genius.
1651
01:12:49,750 --> 01:12:52,583
It just kinda came out.
Like, I just was like, what? My baby!
1652
01:12:52,583 --> 01:12:55,458
You are next-level! I would
never think of anything that good.
1653
01:12:55,458 --> 01:12:58,291
Thank you. I don't know what I did,
and it was so scary.
1654
01:12:59,458 --> 01:13:01,458
- What?
- We're a team now, hmm?
1655
01:13:01,458 --> 01:13:05,291
- No. No. Get him off. Get him off.
- Don't touch her. It's getting her upset.
1656
01:13:05,291 --> 01:13:06,416
- Back up.
- Just back up.
1657
01:13:06,416 --> 01:13:10,166
You did good, but just back up.
Give us room. Thank you.
1658
01:13:10,791 --> 01:13:13,208
- Oh, babe.
- It's all right. I love you, baby.
1659
01:13:13,208 --> 01:13:14,208
That was just...
1660
01:13:14,208 --> 01:13:16,791
It's kind of
a beautiful Paris night besides that.
1661
01:13:17,291 --> 01:13:18,250
Yeah.
1662
01:13:19,208 --> 01:13:21,208
[romantic music playing]
1663
01:13:24,416 --> 01:13:26,583
[applause]
1664
01:13:26,583 --> 01:13:27,666
Yes. Hey!
1665
01:13:27,666 --> 01:13:31,375
- [Colonel] Nick! Audrey!
- Hey! You guys did it again! Oh!
1666
01:13:31,375 --> 01:13:34,916
- Vik, I am so sorry about the money.
- Yes, we apologize.
1667
01:13:34,916 --> 01:13:36,416
It was a lot of money to throw away.
1668
01:13:36,416 --> 01:13:39,083
I think Paris is gonna thank you
from the bottom of their hearts.
1669
01:13:39,083 --> 01:13:42,708
Don't worry about it. Just as long as
none of my peeps got murked, yeah?
1670
01:13:42,708 --> 01:13:44,958
[laughs] Apart from Mr. Lou.
1671
01:13:44,958 --> 01:13:46,875
Oh, yeah, that's true.
1672
01:13:46,875 --> 01:13:49,500
- [laughs]
- Lou who, huh? [laughs]
1673
01:13:49,500 --> 01:13:52,708
Oh no. What happened to you?
Why are you bleeding?
1674
01:13:52,708 --> 01:13:55,250
Oh, no. It's... I'm not. It's henna.
1675
01:13:55,250 --> 01:13:57,291
It must have smeared
in tonight's commotion.
1676
01:13:57,916 --> 01:14:00,750
Oh, thank God. I'm sick.
I can't take one more accident tonight.
1677
01:14:00,750 --> 01:14:02,000
No more blood, please.
1678
01:14:02,000 --> 01:14:05,125
- I swear, I thought it was blood.
- I am exhausted. Aren't you?
1679
01:14:05,125 --> 01:14:06,041
[chuckles]
1680
01:14:06,041 --> 01:14:07,000
[Vik] Yeah.
1681
01:14:08,833 --> 01:14:12,166
- What are you muttering about right now?
- Something doesn't make sense.
1682
01:14:12,166 --> 01:14:14,666
[mysterious music playing]
1683
01:14:15,291 --> 01:14:17,208
I'm sorry. It just doesn't make any sense.
1684
01:14:17,208 --> 01:14:19,041
Saira, I'm so sorry. What...
1685
01:14:19,041 --> 01:14:23,041
Did you just say you smeared your henna
during tonight's commotion?
1686
01:14:23,041 --> 01:14:24,250
That's right.
1687
01:14:25,375 --> 01:14:26,500
That's interesting.
1688
01:14:27,000 --> 01:14:29,083
[scoffs] Why is that interesting?
1689
01:14:29,083 --> 01:14:30,708
[Nick] Yes, why is that interesting?
1690
01:14:30,708 --> 01:14:35,125
You know, I never saw you
during the welcome dance.
1691
01:14:35,125 --> 01:14:39,125
And then you just kind of showed up
right after the elephant arrived.
1692
01:14:39,125 --> 01:14:40,125
Yeah.
1693
01:14:40,125 --> 01:14:42,333
I was... I was getting a drink. [laughs]
1694
01:14:42,333 --> 01:14:46,458
Honey, I was a hairdresser,
and I know a thing or two about dyes,
1695
01:14:46,458 --> 01:14:48,166
and once henna sets,
1696
01:14:48,916 --> 01:14:50,250
it doesn't smear.
1697
01:14:51,708 --> 01:14:54,666
Sorry. I... I have no idea
what you're talking about.
1698
01:14:55,166 --> 01:14:58,333
That wasn't blood that I saw
on the elephant handler's robe.
1699
01:14:58,333 --> 01:14:59,791
It was henna.
1700
01:14:59,791 --> 01:15:03,625
And it was your henna that never had time
to dry the night of the murder.
1701
01:15:03,625 --> 01:15:05,375
Oh my God!
1702
01:15:05,375 --> 01:15:06,833
The sister did it!
1703
01:15:06,833 --> 01:15:08,708
Oh snap!
1704
01:15:08,708 --> 01:15:12,000
Come on. This is lunacy!
You guys, haven't we done this already?
1705
01:15:12,000 --> 01:15:15,250
I love my brother.
I mean, what reason would I have to--
1706
01:15:15,250 --> 01:15:18,833
Maybe because your parents gave him
the family business,
1707
01:15:18,833 --> 01:15:20,541
even though you're the smart one,
1708
01:15:20,541 --> 01:15:23,625
and he's the Jet Skiing rapper wannabe
with no skill at all?
1709
01:15:24,208 --> 01:15:25,041
No offense.
1710
01:15:25,041 --> 01:15:26,333
Some taken.
1711
01:15:26,333 --> 01:15:29,833
And isn't that the same reason
you tried to kill him in Mumbai?
1712
01:15:30,416 --> 01:15:31,375
You!
1713
01:15:32,541 --> 01:15:34,916
Well, my parents
were right about one thing.
1714
01:15:35,958 --> 01:15:37,833
If you need something done correctly,
1715
01:15:38,625 --> 01:15:40,375
you should just do it yourself.
1716
01:15:41,416 --> 01:15:42,333
[screaming]
1717
01:15:42,333 --> 01:15:43,666
- [Vik] Saira!
- [Audrey gasps]
1718
01:15:43,666 --> 01:15:45,041
[Colonel] No!
1719
01:15:46,041 --> 01:15:48,625
Oh! This poor guy, honey!
He's running out of arms!
1720
01:15:50,083 --> 01:15:50,958
Whoa!
1721
01:15:51,541 --> 01:15:52,583
Not in my town.
1722
01:15:52,583 --> 01:15:54,916
Yeah! That's my bae!
1723
01:15:54,916 --> 01:15:56,375
[sighs] Thank you, baby.
1724
01:15:56,375 --> 01:15:57,708
I've got to just...
1725
01:15:58,291 --> 01:16:00,750
- 'Sup! It's okay. Yeah.
- [Colonel groans]
1726
01:16:00,750 --> 01:16:04,125
You... You did great, pal.
You're my number one bodyguard.
1727
01:16:04,125 --> 01:16:06,166
And not just 'cause
the last one got smoked.
1728
01:16:06,166 --> 01:16:09,125
That Kwanzaa bonus
better be off the hook this year.
1729
01:16:09,125 --> 01:16:12,625
Hey, it's bionic arm time, bitch! Yeah?
1730
01:16:12,625 --> 01:16:13,875
- Yeah?
- Yeah!
1731
01:16:13,875 --> 01:16:14,791
[both laugh]
1732
01:16:15,541 --> 01:16:16,541
[Susan] You're okay.
1733
01:16:17,416 --> 01:16:19,625
- How are you feeling, young man?
- How are you doing?
1734
01:16:19,625 --> 01:16:22,625
- I'm okay.
- Laurent is a special man. Aren't you?
1735
01:16:22,625 --> 01:16:25,041
We're gonna go to dinner
once you get out of the hospital.
1736
01:16:25,041 --> 01:16:26,208
Ah!
1737
01:16:26,208 --> 01:16:29,041
Paris weaves its spell once again.
1738
01:16:29,041 --> 01:16:30,291
Feel better.
1739
01:16:30,291 --> 01:16:32,250
- All right.
- [Vik] Should we tell them?
1740
01:16:32,250 --> 01:16:36,125
- Yes! [laughs]
- Okay, guys. We decided to elope.
1741
01:16:36,125 --> 01:16:38,833
- That is the smart choice, always.
- That's amazing.
1742
01:16:38,833 --> 01:16:39,791
Good for you guys.
1743
01:16:39,791 --> 01:16:42,000
Yeah, no family, but, um,
1744
01:16:42,625 --> 01:16:43,875
I owe you guys my life.
1745
01:16:43,875 --> 01:16:46,250
Oh, we're just happy you're both okay.
1746
01:16:46,250 --> 01:16:49,041
And really, honestly, thank you
for giving us an adventure...
1747
01:16:49,041 --> 01:16:49,958
Yes.
1748
01:16:49,958 --> 01:16:51,750
...we are never going to forget.
1749
01:16:51,750 --> 01:16:52,791
- Oh.
- Yep.
1750
01:16:52,791 --> 01:16:55,416
- I guess we're even then. Peace out.
- Peace out!
1751
01:16:55,916 --> 01:16:56,916
- Bye-bye.
- Au revoir!
1752
01:16:56,916 --> 01:16:59,541
Sorry about your sister
being a psycho, by the way.
1753
01:16:59,541 --> 01:17:01,916
Ah, don't worry about it.
She's a real piece of shit.
1754
01:17:01,916 --> 01:17:03,333
- Yes, she was.
- [both] Yeah.
1755
01:17:03,333 --> 01:17:05,541
- [Nick] Okay.
- Honey, I'm really ready to go home.
1756
01:17:05,541 --> 01:17:07,666
- Yes, I am too.
- I'm really ready.
1757
01:17:09,125 --> 01:17:10,916
We have to do one thing first.
1758
01:17:11,750 --> 01:17:14,625
- Trust me. Trust me. All right?
- What? Okay. Okay. Okay.
1759
01:17:14,625 --> 01:17:17,375
- [Nick] Check on the Colonel. You okay?
- [Audrey] Colonel!
1760
01:17:17,375 --> 01:17:18,833
You're not losing this arm?
1761
01:17:18,833 --> 01:17:21,541
["Et Moi, Et Moi, Et Moi"
by Jacques Dutronc playing]
1762
01:17:29,791 --> 01:17:31,916
[Nick] Click it. Click it. We did it.
1763
01:17:32,666 --> 01:17:36,625
Now we are forever locked up together
for the rest of our lives.
1764
01:17:36,625 --> 01:17:38,833
I'd never wanna be locked up
with anybody else.
1765
01:17:38,833 --> 01:17:41,000
Me neither, sweetheart. You are--
1766
01:17:41,000 --> 01:17:43,083
- [man] The Shitz!
- What?
1767
01:17:43,083 --> 01:17:45,333
[chuckles] Nick and Audrey Shitz!
1768
01:17:45,333 --> 01:17:48,333
- The helicopter guy? What the--
- What are you doing here?
1769
01:17:48,333 --> 01:17:49,583
Take it. Take the phone!
1770
01:17:50,083 --> 01:17:51,041
Hello?
1771
01:17:51,041 --> 01:17:53,791
[Vik] Of course we're not even.
Take my helicopter!
1772
01:17:53,791 --> 01:17:57,958
Go anywhere! Have a honeymoon you deserve!
And a little cash!
1773
01:17:57,958 --> 01:18:00,125
- What?
- Cash? A bag of--
1774
01:18:00,125 --> 01:18:01,583
- Are you for real?
- [Nick laughs]
1775
01:18:01,583 --> 01:18:04,708
- Oh my gosh. Look! Oh my--
- Well, yeah.
1776
01:18:04,708 --> 01:18:07,083
That seems to be enough money. Thank you.
1777
01:18:07,083 --> 01:18:09,541
[Vik] Just ten million!
Don't spend it all in one place!
1778
01:18:09,541 --> 01:18:11,333
But if you do spend it all,
1779
01:18:11,333 --> 01:18:12,708
just sell the briefcase.
1780
01:18:12,708 --> 01:18:14,250
It's worth three million!
1781
01:18:14,250 --> 01:18:16,416
- It's dinosaur leather!
- My God!
1782
01:18:16,416 --> 01:18:18,791
Dinosaur? We can't take this! Come on!
1783
01:18:18,791 --> 01:18:21,125
You know what?
We will take this. Thank you.
1784
01:18:21,125 --> 01:18:24,083
[Vik] Now you two keep busting nuts!
Maharajah out!
1785
01:18:24,083 --> 01:18:26,000
What's the first thing you wanna do?
1786
01:18:26,000 --> 01:18:27,750
- I wanna kiss you!
- Ah!
1787
01:18:31,375 --> 01:18:32,625
I can't believe this!
1788
01:18:32,625 --> 01:18:34,708
[uplifting music playing]
1789
01:18:39,458 --> 01:18:41,416
- My baby.
- My darling.
1790
01:18:41,416 --> 01:18:43,666
The honeymoon we always deserved.
1791
01:18:43,666 --> 01:18:45,250
- Exactly.
- Finally.
1792
01:18:45,250 --> 01:18:47,291
[both] Mm-hmm.
1793
01:18:47,291 --> 01:18:49,541
Can you believe how lucky we are?
1794
01:18:50,333 --> 01:18:51,625
- [gun cocks]
- [gasps]
1795
01:18:52,666 --> 01:18:54,291
[American accent] You liking those drinks?
1796
01:18:54,291 --> 01:18:56,458
- What--
- Are you shitz-ing us right now?
1797
01:18:56,458 --> 01:18:57,833
Hand me the bag.
1798
01:18:57,833 --> 01:18:59,291
What? The, uh--
1799
01:18:59,291 --> 01:19:01,583
- Bag. Hand me the bag.
- You want this?
1800
01:19:01,583 --> 01:19:03,625
- That's not a problem.
- Give him the bag.
1801
01:19:03,625 --> 01:19:05,458
[Nick] What happened to the accent?
1802
01:19:06,291 --> 01:19:07,416
It's back in Jersey.
1803
01:19:07,416 --> 01:19:09,625
Let's just have a civilized conversation.
1804
01:19:09,625 --> 01:19:11,458
[pilot] See you never, Shitzes!
1805
01:19:11,458 --> 01:19:15,333
- Oh my God! Where did he--
- Oh my God! Oh-- Oh my--
1806
01:19:16,041 --> 01:19:17,333
["Spellbinding" by
The Smashing Pumpkins plays]
1807
01:19:17,333 --> 01:19:19,708
♪ Take me away, I'm gonna find you ♪
1808
01:19:22,458 --> 01:19:26,625
♪ Take me away, I'm gonna find you ♪
1809
01:19:28,666 --> 01:19:35,166
♪ 'Cause nobody else could ever mind you
Ooh, ooh ♪
1810
01:19:35,166 --> 01:19:39,583
♪ Take me away, I'm gonna find you ♪
1811
01:19:41,125 --> 01:19:45,166
♪ Can you feel this? ♪
1812
01:19:45,166 --> 01:19:50,166
♪ I can feel it for you tomorrow ♪
1813
01:19:50,166 --> 01:19:52,375
♪ It's all in, baby ♪
1814
01:19:52,375 --> 01:19:54,125
♪ Looks all hazy ♪
1815
01:19:54,125 --> 01:19:57,416
♪ So I've gone crazy ♪
1816
01:20:08,958 --> 01:20:12,666
♪ Take me away, I'm gonna find you ♪
1817
01:20:15,375 --> 01:20:19,541
♪ Take me away, I'm gonna find you ♪
1818
01:20:21,666 --> 01:20:28,166
♪ 'Cause nobody else could ever mind you
Ooh, ooh ♪
1819
01:20:28,166 --> 01:20:31,125
♪ Take me away, I'm gonna find you ♪
1820
01:20:31,125 --> 01:20:33,000
♪ Through, through this ♪
1821
01:20:33,000 --> 01:20:37,875
♪ Right while I was writing my own song ♪
1822
01:20:39,416 --> 01:20:42,833
♪ Raise your eyes and glass ♪
1823
01:20:48,458 --> 01:20:52,291
♪ Take me away, I'm gonna find you ♪
1824
01:20:54,833 --> 01:20:59,041
♪ Take me away, I'm gonna find you ♪
1825
01:21:01,208 --> 01:21:07,583
♪ 'Cause nobody else could ever mind you
Ooh, ooh ♪
1826
01:21:07,583 --> 01:21:10,166
♪ Take me away ♪
1827
01:21:14,125 --> 01:21:16,625
♪ Take me away ♪
1828
01:21:24,250 --> 01:21:26,958
[tense orchestral music playing]
1829
01:27:30,083 --> 01:27:33,083
[triumphant orchestral music playing]
141026
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