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1
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Everyone, please take
your seats. You heard the bell.
2
00:00:35,770 --> 00:00:38,534
You know what it means.
Last week,
3
00:00:38,606 --> 00:00:45,876
the assignment was
to write an essay about your family.
4
00:00:45,947 --> 00:00:49,439
- Who they...
- Are!
5
00:00:49,517 --> 00:00:51,508
And what they...
6
00:00:51,586 --> 00:00:53,850
Mean to us!
7
00:00:53,921 --> 00:00:57,413
Excellent droning. So I want
everyone to take out their essays.
8
00:00:57,659 --> 00:01:02,096
We're going to read them aloud
to the class right up here.
9
00:01:02,864 --> 00:01:10,600
My mom says that me and my dad
have very healthy appetites.
10
00:01:10,672 --> 00:01:13,402
My mom and dad are very religious.
11
00:01:13,474 --> 00:01:18,207
When they're in their bedroom at night,
I always hear them yelling, “Jesus!”
12
00:01:18,279 --> 00:01:24,240
My mom says my dad's eyes are brown
because he is so full of sh...
13
00:01:24,318 --> 00:01:25,307
Brian!
14
00:01:26,421 --> 00:01:28,753
My brother Jack is in eighth grade.
15
00:01:28,823 --> 00:01:31,451
He told me to ask my dad
who he voted for...
16
00:01:31,526 --> 00:01:33,357
for... for President.
17
00:01:33,428 --> 00:01:36,488
I did and my Dad said
he's a total Bush-man.
18
00:01:36,564 --> 00:01:39,727
That made my brother laugh really hard.
19
00:01:40,802 --> 00:01:44,465
Whenever my Uncle Stu
comes over to play pool with my dad,
20
00:01:44,539 --> 00:01:49,670
my mom says the basement smells
like a Cheech and Chong movie.
21
00:01:49,744 --> 00:01:52,212
Well... it's like this.
22
00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:54,908
My dog ate my paper.
23
00:01:54,982 --> 00:01:56,973
I checked, but he didn't poop it out.
24
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What a lovely sentiment,
Mr. Etheridge.
25
00:02:01,055 --> 00:02:04,582
Maybe your dog can eat the zero
you'll be receiving too.
26
00:02:04,659 --> 00:02:08,493
- Aw, man!
- Harsh.
27
00:02:08,563 --> 00:02:11,726
Miss Trinke?
It's your turn now.
28
00:02:24,245 --> 00:02:27,681
My dad says life can be
split into two categories:
29
00:02:27,749 --> 00:02:30,877
New Jersey... and New York.
30
00:02:44,265 --> 00:02:46,563
My dad was a Jersey boy
who became the youngest
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00:02:46,634 --> 00:02:49,762
and most successful music publicist
in New York City.
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00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:53,967
By the time he was 27,
he had 100 people working for him.
33
00:02:54,041 --> 00:02:58,637
And even though they all loved him,
he loved them even more.
34
00:02:58,713 --> 00:03:02,171
My fellow flacks and spin doctors.
35
00:03:02,817 --> 00:03:04,341
Salud.
36
00:03:04,418 --> 00:03:08,912
Daddy loved his job,
but not as much as he loved my mom.
37
00:03:09,524 --> 00:03:12,982
Mommy was a book editor in
New York City when her and Daddy met.
38
00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:15,551
Daddy said their jobs
were kind of the same...
39
00:03:15,630 --> 00:03:18,394
they made slight corrections
for their clients.
40
00:03:18,466 --> 00:03:24,200
Because George Michael is a pimp
who is all about the ladies, my friend.
41
00:03:24,272 --> 00:03:27,764
Come on, “I Want Your Sex”?
That sound like he's singing to a guy?
42
00:03:28,643 --> 00:03:32,841
Daddy worked so much that sometimes
Mommy could only see him late at night.
43
00:03:33,614 --> 00:03:37,072
Daddy says that's why they
both loved the city so much...
44
00:03:37,151 --> 00:03:39,142
it never went to sleep.
45
00:03:41,422 --> 00:03:44,152
And neither did him and Mommy.
46
00:03:44,258 --> 00:03:46,886
But after a year of romance
in New York City,
47
00:03:46,961 --> 00:03:49,759
Daddy said it was time
to show Mommy where he came from.
48
00:03:50,865 --> 00:03:55,063
So he took her home to New Jersey
and put her through what he said
49
00:03:55,136 --> 00:03:58,799
was the biggest test
their love would ever face:
50
00:03:58,873 --> 00:04:01,341
“Introducing her to my pop. “
51
00:04:04,111 --> 00:04:06,102
- Hey, how are ya?
- How're ya doin'?
52
00:04:06,180 --> 00:04:08,546
- How're ya doin' yourself?
- This is Gertrude.
53
00:04:08,616 --> 00:04:11,346
Hi. Merry Christmas.
54
00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:17,157
- And what do you do, Mr. Trinke?
- Easy on the “Mr. Trinke”. It's Bart.
55
00:04:17,225 --> 00:04:19,352
I work for the borough,
for 30 years now.
56
00:04:19,427 --> 00:04:22,863
He's the only man in Highlands
licensed to operate the street sweeper.
57
00:04:22,930 --> 00:04:26,127
Oh, man, I always wanted
to ride in one of those things.
58
00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:30,159
Well, you continue seeing my son,
I can probably get you a turn at the wheel.
59
00:04:30,238 --> 00:04:34,140
I was only gonna sleep with him
a few more times and then dump him,
60
00:04:34,208 --> 00:04:35,835
but now, after an offer like that...
61
00:04:35,910 --> 00:04:38,470
Holy shit.
Listen to the mouth on this one!
62
00:04:38,546 --> 00:04:40,946
Oh, yeah, they don't make 'em
like Mom anymore, do they, Dad?
63
00:04:41,015 --> 00:04:44,348
- Now, listen, I'm goin' to the bar.
- What a shock.
64
00:04:44,418 --> 00:04:47,854
If you guys are gonna do anything while
I'm gone, stay the hell off of my bed.
65
00:04:47,922 --> 00:04:52,325
- You're going to a bar?
- Didn't he tell ya? I'm an alcoholic.
66
00:04:52,393 --> 00:04:56,227
- Well, I wanna go to the bar too.
- No, you don't wanna go to this bar.
67
00:04:56,297 --> 00:04:59,232
It's a bunch of old guys talkin' about
how good they had it under Kennedy.
68
00:04:59,300 --> 00:05:01,530
The man was a goddamn saint.
69
00:05:01,602 --> 00:05:05,436
I'm goin' to the bar with your dad.
You can come if you want.
70
00:05:05,506 --> 00:05:07,474
No, that's OK.
I'll stay here and do the dishes.
71
00:05:07,541 --> 00:05:09,441
I only cooked.
Why shouldn't I clean?
72
00:05:09,510 --> 00:05:12,240
Suit yourself.
But don't wash that pan.
73
00:05:12,313 --> 00:05:16,750
I got a layer of juice built up for the pork
roll, and I don't want you scrubbin' it off.
74
00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:18,785
That “juice” is called grease, Dad.
75
00:05:18,853 --> 00:05:20,946
It's bad for you.
It clogs your arteries.
76
00:05:21,022 --> 00:05:24,480
It's called juice.
And it greases a father's insides
77
00:05:24,558 --> 00:05:28,187
so that he can better swallow
the shit his son feeds him twice a year
78
00:05:28,262 --> 00:05:30,253
when he can be bothered
coming to visit him.
79
00:05:31,098 --> 00:05:34,261
So that night,
Daddy took Mommy to Pop's bar,
80
00:05:35,202 --> 00:05:37,762
where she got to meet
Pop's other children,
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00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:40,306
his best friends Greenie and Block.
82
00:05:41,142 --> 00:05:43,804
Hey, your kid's cuttin' a rug.
83
00:05:48,382 --> 00:05:50,077
Who are you, Connie Chung?
84
00:05:51,652 --> 00:05:56,385
Daddy said, because Mommy
survived her first trip to Jersey,
85
00:05:56,457 --> 00:05:58,618
he knew she was a keeper.
86
00:06:03,531 --> 00:06:09,492
He said they celebrated their
engagement by going out for pizza.
87
00:06:10,471 --> 00:06:13,065
And that's how I got here.
88
00:06:13,140 --> 00:06:15,802
Do we have enough of these at home,
or should I steal some?
89
00:06:15,876 --> 00:06:18,709
If you're gonna steal something,
steal some rubber gloves.
90
00:06:33,127 --> 00:06:36,585
- Thank you!
- You're welcome!
91
00:06:37,598 --> 00:06:41,364
And with that,
everyone lived happily ever after.
92
00:06:42,036 --> 00:06:43,469
Almost.
93
00:06:43,537 --> 00:06:46,097
Look, you've got two minutes,
and then we have to go, OK?
94
00:06:46,173 --> 00:06:48,403
- Or I'm gonna leave.
- Would you stop rushing me?
95
00:06:48,476 --> 00:06:52,037
I don't understand how somebody who had
all day sitting around to get ready
96
00:06:52,113 --> 00:06:53,876
waits till 20 minutes
before we have to leave!
97
00:06:53,948 --> 00:06:56,178
You try getting anything accomplished
with this big gut in your way!
98
00:06:56,250 --> 00:06:59,549
This is one of the few days of the year
that I can be fired for being late!
99
00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:04,580
Anytime that you wanna carry this baby,
Ollie, you let me know! OK?
100
00:07:04,658 --> 00:07:07,821
I would be glad to go back to wearing
regular dresses instead of this tent!
101
00:07:07,895 --> 00:07:10,227
The dress looks fine.
It's gorgeous, OK? It's beautiful.
102
00:07:10,297 --> 00:07:12,561
Yeah, until I'm standing next to
Janet Jackson or Sheryl Crow.
103
00:07:12,633 --> 00:07:14,430
Then you'll see how not fine it looks.
104
00:07:14,502 --> 00:07:17,596
Gertie, I asked you, please,
to use your own brush, OK?
105
00:07:17,671 --> 00:07:19,536
- Can you just not use my brush?
- Don't start.
106
00:07:19,607 --> 00:07:21,370
It's just that
every time I wanna comb my hair
107
00:07:21,442 --> 00:07:25,970
I spend 15 minutes taking these
long, bushy hairs out of my brush.
108
00:07:26,047 --> 00:07:27,674
And I mean, you ask me to...
109
00:07:29,517 --> 00:07:30,916
I'm sorry.
110
00:07:30,985 --> 00:07:34,352
Baby, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
111
00:07:34,422 --> 00:07:38,051
You don't understand
what it's like to be this fat!
112
00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:41,094
I've always been thin,
and now I'm a disgusting pig!
113
00:07:41,162 --> 00:07:43,824
And it's my first time
going to the Video Music Awards
114
00:07:43,898 --> 00:07:48,062
and all the other girls are gonna be
skinny, and I'm gonna look like a whale!
115
00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:52,299
Baby, baby, they're just skinny
'cause they're all coked-out whores.
116
00:07:52,373 --> 00:07:54,841
I wanna be a coked-out whore!
117
00:07:54,909 --> 00:07:56,900
OK, you can be a coked-out whore too.
118
00:07:56,977 --> 00:08:00,413
You can be a coked-out, coked-out whore.
119
00:08:00,481 --> 00:08:03,382
- I'm sorry.
- I should be more sensitive. I'm sorry.
120
00:08:03,451 --> 00:08:06,045
I should be more sensitive, honey.
I know.
121
00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:07,815
- Yes.
- I know.
122
00:08:07,888 --> 00:08:10,948
- Baby, we have to go now, OK?
- OK.
123
00:08:11,025 --> 00:08:13,391
- I love you. We have to go now.
- OK.
124
00:08:13,461 --> 00:08:15,952
- I love you too.
- All right, let's go. OK?
125
00:08:16,030 --> 00:08:18,897
Just give me two minutes.
126
00:08:19,300 --> 00:08:21,291
- What time is it?
- 20 after.
127
00:08:21,368 --> 00:08:24,667
- She's gonna kill me!
- I need the quote for the Madonna release.
128
00:08:24,738 --> 00:08:30,370
OK. “Madonna trusts the public
will judge for itself that...
129
00:08:30,444 --> 00:08:33,845
this latest in a long line
of breakthrough music videos
130
00:08:33,914 --> 00:08:36,974
is not the tasteless sexploitation
it's accused of being.”
131
00:08:37,051 --> 00:08:41,249
- “It's artistic expression.”
- Of what?
132
00:08:41,322 --> 00:08:46,692
Of one woman's constant need
to show the world... her labia.
133
00:08:48,929 --> 00:08:52,057
Hey, can I use the word “labia”
in a press release?
134
00:09:11,752 --> 00:09:13,743
See you next week.
135
00:09:16,590 --> 00:09:20,458
One of these days, I'll get me one of
those husbands that show up for Lamaze.
136
00:09:20,528 --> 00:09:23,088
I'm sorry, babe. It was Madonna.
137
00:09:23,164 --> 00:09:26,292
So you were late
because of another woman. That's nice.
138
00:09:26,367 --> 00:09:29,996
- Come on. I still gotta do my job.
- And I still gotta do mine too.
139
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:32,163
But I was at Lamaze on time.
140
00:09:34,909 --> 00:09:36,467
Look, all I'm saying is
141
00:09:36,544 --> 00:09:40,776
that guy who used to spend all night at the
office and barely live in his apartment?
142
00:09:40,848 --> 00:09:42,839
That's not you anymore.
143
00:09:42,917 --> 00:09:45,442
Now you have to be the guy
who's done by six
144
00:09:45,519 --> 00:09:49,478
and comes home
and hangs out with his family.
145
00:09:49,557 --> 00:09:51,889
That's the only way we're gonna work.
146
00:09:54,161 --> 00:09:55,992
OK?
147
00:09:57,398 --> 00:09:58,922
OK.
148
00:09:59,366 --> 00:10:01,231
- OK.
- OK.
149
00:10:01,302 --> 00:10:03,293
OK!
150
00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:06,402
- OK.
- OK.
151
00:10:11,812 --> 00:10:14,144
- Can I help you?
- Yes.
152
00:10:14,215 --> 00:10:17,048
My wife's water broke.
She's gonna have a baby.
153
00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:19,347
- You're gonna have to check in, hon.
- Check in?!
154
00:10:19,420 --> 00:10:23,379
Where, at the concierge desk?! Why
are you being so combative with me?!
155
00:10:23,457 --> 00:10:26,893
First of all,
take your hands off my uniform.
156
00:10:26,961 --> 00:10:30,419
And second,
I'm gonna need a patient here.
157
00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:36,329
This is my wife.
This is the belligerent nurse
158
00:10:36,403 --> 00:10:39,167
that's being so difficult with me,
giving me such a hard time.
159
00:10:39,240 --> 00:10:42,573
- I'm sorry. He's a little panicky.
- Can I get a wheelchair?
160
00:10:42,643 --> 00:10:44,338
- Let's get you up to delivery...
- OK.
161
00:10:44,411 --> 00:10:46,379
- ...and let him fill out the paperwork.
- OK.
162
00:10:46,447 --> 00:10:48,915
- If we can trust him with a pen.
- Here, sweetie.
163
00:10:48,983 --> 00:10:51,383
OK, just relax, breathe.
Remember, take it easy.
164
00:10:51,452 --> 00:10:53,545
I love you.
I'll be right there, OK? I love you.
165
00:10:53,621 --> 00:10:55,714
- I love you too.
- OK, I love you.
166
00:10:55,789 --> 00:10:59,748
We've practiced this 1,000 times.
It'll be great. How hard can it be?
167
00:11:01,228 --> 00:11:05,460
- Push! You're doing good.
- You're doing real good.
168
00:11:05,532 --> 00:11:08,296
- No, I can't! I can't do it!
- Take a breath.
169
00:11:08,369 --> 00:11:11,167
- It hurts!
- I know it hurts.
170
00:11:11,238 --> 00:11:14,298
It's OK, baby.
Push. You can do it.
171
00:11:14,375 --> 00:11:17,538
Take a deep breath.
In five, four...
172
00:11:17,611 --> 00:11:19,909
- OK? Here you go.
- ...three, two, one.
173
00:11:19,980 --> 00:11:23,472
Push. Push harder, Gertie.
Push harder.
174
00:11:23,550 --> 00:11:26,178
The baby's crowning. I can see her.
I just need one more push.
175
00:11:26,253 --> 00:11:28,721
- Can you see her?
- Holy shit! I can see the head!
176
00:11:28,789 --> 00:11:32,316
- One more. Breathe.
- Push! It's almost there, baby.
177
00:11:32,393 --> 00:11:34,418
Push! You're doing it. Push!
178
00:11:34,495 --> 00:11:36,656
Push!
179
00:11:38,532 --> 00:11:40,796
Here she comes! Here she comes!
180
00:11:40,868 --> 00:11:43,268
Here she is.
181
00:11:43,337 --> 00:11:45,862
- Do you wanna cut the cord, Dad?
- Yeah.
182
00:11:45,939 --> 00:11:47,338
Scissors, please.
183
00:11:47,408 --> 00:11:53,313
Yes! And she's got all ten fingers,
ten toes.
184
00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:57,908
We'll get her all cleaned up
and then we're gonna check...
185
00:11:57,985 --> 00:11:58,974
Gertie?
186
00:11:59,053 --> 00:12:00,953
- Baby, look.
- Gertie?
187
00:12:01,588 --> 00:12:02,919
Gertie!
188
00:12:03,924 --> 00:12:05,983
Gertie, can you hear me?
189
00:12:06,060 --> 00:12:09,587
- She's OK. Sweetheart?
- Nurse, get Dr. Mortimer right away!
190
00:12:09,663 --> 00:12:11,824
She's resting.
Who's Dr. Mortimer?
191
00:12:11,899 --> 00:12:12,888
Dr. Mortimer!
192
00:12:12,966 --> 00:12:14,900
- What's happening?
- She's unresponsive.
193
00:12:14,968 --> 00:12:16,663
- Gertie!
- Gertie! Gertie!
194
00:12:16,737 --> 00:12:19,706
Gertie, it's me! Gertie?
195
00:12:19,773 --> 00:12:22,003
Healthy baby. Unresponsive.
196
00:12:22,076 --> 00:12:24,510
- Respiratory arrest.
- Turn it around!
197
00:12:24,578 --> 00:12:28,105
- What's happening to my wife?
- Let's open that IV, please.
198
00:12:28,182 --> 00:12:31,913
Baby, are you OK?
Sweetheart, sweetheart, wake up!
199
00:12:31,985 --> 00:12:35,284
Please, someone take
Mr. Trinke outside. Please!
200
00:12:35,356 --> 00:12:37,381
I'm gonna have to intubate.
201
00:12:37,458 --> 00:12:39,722
Gertie, wake up, my love.
Wake up.
202
00:12:39,793 --> 00:12:41,886
Gertie, please. Wake up.
203
00:12:43,030 --> 00:12:45,590
Get off me! Gertie!
204
00:12:45,666 --> 00:12:48,999
I wanna stay with my wife!
Gertie! Gertie!
205
00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:51,060
What's happening?!
206
00:13:11,258 --> 00:13:14,159
- Ollie...
- If I don't get to go in there right now...
207
00:13:14,228 --> 00:13:15,695
- I swear to God!
- Ollie... Ollie, calm down.
208
00:13:15,763 --> 00:13:17,890
Fuck you, calm down! OK?!
209
00:13:17,965 --> 00:13:19,933
I got dragged out of there,
I haven't got to see my baby!
210
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:23,299
Your baby is fine.
She's healthy, she's normal.
211
00:13:23,370 --> 00:13:27,101
- What's wrong with Gertie?
- I need you to calm down before I...
212
00:13:27,174 --> 00:13:29,836
Look, I'm calm! OK?!
213
00:13:33,814 --> 00:13:35,805
I'm calm.
214
00:13:36,917 --> 00:13:40,045
We think Gertie had an aneurysm.
215
00:13:42,356 --> 00:13:44,381
Is she OK?
216
00:13:46,727 --> 00:13:48,718
We lost her, Ollie.
217
00:13:50,097 --> 00:13:55,899
The strain of the contractions and the
pushing caused the aneurysm to rupture.
218
00:13:55,969 --> 00:13:58,938
There are rarely symptoms
for aneurysms...
219
00:14:03,177 --> 00:14:07,375
♪ I drew a picture of you
220
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:14,787
♪ You and your anchor tattoo
221
00:14:17,791 --> 00:14:21,955
♪ And saw the face that I knew
222
00:14:24,398 --> 00:14:27,162
♪ Covered in shame
223
00:14:32,272 --> 00:14:36,436
♪ You drew the bird that was here
224
00:14:39,580 --> 00:14:43,744
♪ The kind of sweet chanticleer
225
00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:51,085
♪ But with a terrible fear
226
00:14:53,060 --> 00:14:57,053
♪ That the cage couldn't tame
227
00:15:03,237 --> 00:15:10,643
♪ That's how I knew the story
would break my heart
228
00:15:12,246 --> 00:15:15,215
♪ When you're older
229
00:15:17,818 --> 00:15:25,486
♪ That's how I knew the story
would break my heart
230
00:15:42,576 --> 00:15:44,567
You sure you're OK
with this, Dad?
231
00:15:44,645 --> 00:15:47,637
What, OK?
She's my granddaughter.
232
00:15:47,714 --> 00:15:51,980
Yeah, you can stay
with me anytime, can't you?
233
00:15:52,052 --> 00:15:53,849
Yes, you can.
234
00:15:53,921 --> 00:15:57,755
Until you're a teenager,
with the boys and a reefer.
235
00:15:57,824 --> 00:16:00,725
Then I don't wanna know about you.
236
00:16:01,261 --> 00:16:03,252
I wouldn't impose on you, you know.
237
00:16:03,330 --> 00:16:08,563
I just got a lot of work...
piled up from before and...
238
00:16:10,137 --> 00:16:14,437
- I'll be back late tonight, OK?
- Yeah, take your time.
239
00:16:18,412 --> 00:16:23,281
Your daddy really misses
your mommy, kid. I miss her too.
240
00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:25,443
Especially right now.
241
00:16:25,919 --> 00:16:28,444
Oh, Jesus!
242
00:16:36,930 --> 00:16:38,454
Yeah.
243
00:16:39,366 --> 00:16:42,199
- You wanted to see me, Ollie?
- Yeah, come on in.
244
00:16:44,071 --> 00:16:46,972
I didn't think you were gonna be in
this week. How you doin'?
245
00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:49,031
- You all right?
- I'm fine.
246
00:16:49,109 --> 00:16:52,442
Look, this piece in the Post.
Why didn't you call me when this broke?
247
00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:56,642
- I had to read about it in New Jersey.
- It's cool. The nurse is a fan.
248
00:16:56,717 --> 00:16:59,914
Will she still be a fan when the Enquirer
flashes a stack of 50s in her face?
249
00:16:59,987 --> 00:17:03,548
Listen, something like this breaks,
I'm not in the city,
250
00:17:03,624 --> 00:17:05,819
you find me or you find another job.
251
00:17:05,892 --> 00:17:07,553
Yeah, OK.
252
00:17:11,331 --> 00:17:12,593
OK.
253
00:17:14,234 --> 00:17:16,293
What else do we got?
254
00:17:16,370 --> 00:17:18,634
Will Smith.
255
00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:21,572
- Who?
- The Fresh Prince?
256
00:17:21,642 --> 00:17:24,076
“DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince”
Fresh Prince?
257
00:17:24,144 --> 00:17:25,736
- Yeah.
- What about him?
258
00:17:25,812 --> 00:17:28,906
You remember the first album,
the one with “Girls Ain't...
259
00:17:28,982 --> 00:17:31,246
- Rock the House. Yeah?
- Rock the House, right.
260
00:17:31,318 --> 00:17:36,255
You remember on the cover of the album
Jazzy Jeff is holding a model of a house?
261
00:17:36,323 --> 00:17:37,449
Vaguely.
262
00:17:37,524 --> 00:17:40,493
Will Smith is donating that house
to the Hard Rock Cafe.
263
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:43,188
Well, stop the presses.
You put the word out yet?
264
00:17:43,263 --> 00:17:45,322
- Date pending, yeah.
- Anybody give a shit?
265
00:17:45,399 --> 00:17:50,132
- Every outlet wants in.
- You're kidding me?
266
00:17:50,203 --> 00:17:52,467
No.
Even US News and World Report.
267
00:17:53,040 --> 00:17:55,508
Why? It's an eight-year-old album.
268
00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:58,476
Doesn't matter. Everyone loves
that Fresh Prince TV show.
269
00:17:58,545 --> 00:18:02,276
He's got that movie coming out
in a couple of weeks, Independence Day.
270
00:18:02,349 --> 00:18:06,115
- Let the film division handle it.
- No, we can't.
271
00:18:06,186 --> 00:18:09,155
Will wants to keep his music career
separate from his movie career.
272
00:18:09,222 --> 00:18:13,488
Like the Fresh Prince of Bel Air
is ever gonna have a movie career.
273
00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:18,496
Get me everything you can. I'll put together
a press kit on him, and we'll just do it.
274
00:18:18,565 --> 00:18:19,054
OK.
275
00:18:19,132 --> 00:18:22,397
- Patty, get me Kirsch.
- Sure, Ollie.
276
00:18:22,469 --> 00:18:26,565
I can handle this Fresh Prince stuff
if you wanna take a couple of days...
277
00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:30,906
Hey, Arthur, I can do my job.
I'm all set, OK? You do your job. Go ahead.
278
00:18:30,977 --> 00:18:33,468
Patty, did you not hear me? I asked you
to please get Kirsch on the phone.
279
00:18:33,547 --> 00:18:34,844
- Ollie?
- I'm trying.
280
00:18:34,915 --> 00:18:36,177
What, man?
281
00:18:36,249 --> 00:18:39,741
I know I told you at the funeral,
but I'm really sorry...
282
00:18:39,820 --> 00:18:41,685
I'm fine.
OK, Arthur? I am fine!
283
00:18:41,755 --> 00:18:44,087
Please go do
what I asked you to do now.
284
00:18:44,157 --> 00:18:46,421
- Kirschner on one.
- OK! Put him on the phone then!
285
00:18:46,493 --> 00:18:49,053
- How's the baby?
- The baby is fine, Arthur!
286
00:18:49,129 --> 00:18:51,529
Forget about the baby!
I just wanna do my job!
287
00:18:52,099 --> 00:18:55,398
Jesus Christ, Ollie!
What the hell you screamin' about?
288
00:18:55,469 --> 00:18:58,768
Patty, was that...
289
00:19:10,083 --> 00:19:12,051
I'm working on that right now.
Don't worry.
290
00:19:12,119 --> 00:19:14,610
Just get there early
and deal with the menu. OK?
291
00:19:14,688 --> 00:19:18,124
Hey! Are you deaf?
The kid is cryin' up there.
292
00:19:18,258 --> 00:19:21,591
Can you deal with that? I'm doing
something important. OK? Thanks.
293
00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:23,720
What the hell could be more
important than your kid crying?
294
00:19:23,797 --> 00:19:26,288
I have a memorabilia donation
ceremony in the morning
295
00:19:26,366 --> 00:19:28,800
that my company is treating
like a royal wedding
296
00:19:28,869 --> 00:19:32,737
'cause apparently the client's the most
beloved American musician since Elvis.
297
00:19:32,806 --> 00:19:34,967
The kid's been screaming
for the last ten minutes.
298
00:19:35,041 --> 00:19:38,135
If it bothers you so much,
go up there and give her a bottle. OK?
299
00:19:38,211 --> 00:19:41,044
Sorry. It's a nightmare
trying to work at this house.
300
00:19:42,449 --> 00:19:44,747
Jesus! Let me call you back, OK?
301
00:19:45,719 --> 00:19:48,017
- What, Dad?
- Listen, kid.
302
00:19:48,088 --> 00:19:52,582
I lost a wife too, remember?
So I get how you're feelin'. But come on.
303
00:19:52,659 --> 00:19:55,492
You were married for what, 20 years?
I got about 20 minutes.
304
00:19:55,562 --> 00:19:58,395
So you don't “get”
how I'm feeling at all, OK?
305
00:19:58,465 --> 00:20:01,764
I'm sorry, Oliver, but that don't change
the fact that you're a goddamn father now
306
00:20:01,835 --> 00:20:04,235
and you haven't acted like it
since that kid got home from the hospital!
307
00:20:04,304 --> 00:20:08,638
I been calling in sick for a month to do
the things you're supposed to be doin'!
308
00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:12,109
Jesus Christ, if Gertie could see
the shit you've been pulling...
309
00:20:13,513 --> 00:20:17,643
Gertie doesn't see anything anymore,
Dad. She's dead.
310
00:20:18,418 --> 00:20:20,579
Yeah, she's dead.
311
00:20:23,757 --> 00:20:26,692
But you ain't.
And neither is that kid.
312
00:20:39,272 --> 00:20:41,467
Yeah. It's nothin'.
313
00:20:43,143 --> 00:20:45,873
All right, so I'm gonna do the kit.
It's almost finished.
314
00:20:45,946 --> 00:20:48,972
You can deal with the menu.
What time's Will getting there?
315
00:21:00,227 --> 00:21:02,855
Dad, the baby's up!
316
00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:09,325
Dad! The baby needs to be fed!
317
00:21:13,506 --> 00:21:14,837
Dad!
318
00:21:22,515 --> 00:21:24,506
What the hell...?!
319
00:21:26,653 --> 00:21:29,178
Are you nuts?
What, are you trying to get killed?!
320
00:21:29,256 --> 00:21:32,487
- What are you doing?
- Searching for Christ. What's it look like?
321
00:21:32,559 --> 00:21:35,357
It would have been nice if you'd told me
you were leaving the house!
322
00:21:35,428 --> 00:21:39,023
That way, I could've given you the baby
instead of driving all the way down here!
323
00:21:39,099 --> 00:21:42,728
- Now I'm gonna hit traffic!
- No, you ain't giving me the baby.
324
00:21:47,374 --> 00:21:49,535
Hey! Excuse me?
325
00:21:49,609 --> 00:21:51,702
I got uptown and downtown
to do this morning.
326
00:21:51,778 --> 00:21:55,646
- You're on your own with the kid today.
- What?! No!
327
00:21:55,715 --> 00:21:58,616
I have this press conference I have to do
this morning, Dad! You know that!
328
00:21:58,685 --> 00:22:02,587
- I got a job to do too.
- If I don't leave right now...
329
00:22:02,656 --> 00:22:04,749
- So leave!
- And do what with the baby?!
330
00:22:04,824 --> 00:22:07,520
- Take her with you!
- Goddamn it! I...
331
00:22:08,528 --> 00:22:11,520
Look, I know I haven't been
helping out that much with the baby...
332
00:22:11,598 --> 00:22:13,589
Listen to you, “Helping out
that much with the baby.”
333
00:22:13,667 --> 00:22:15,191
She's your daughter,
for Christ's sakes!
334
00:22:15,268 --> 00:22:20,001
- What am I supposed to do with her?!
- Try acting like her father, shithead!
335
00:22:21,474 --> 00:22:23,465
Goddamn it!
336
00:22:56,076 --> 00:22:57,566
Folks, I'm sorry.
337
00:22:59,179 --> 00:23:02,842
- Sorry. Steve.
- What the...?!
338
00:23:02,916 --> 00:23:05,976
- I ordered diapers. Did they get here yet?
- You mean baby diapers?
339
00:23:06,052 --> 00:23:08,384
Why didn't you start half an hour ago?
You shouldn't have waited for me!
340
00:23:08,455 --> 00:23:10,650
- We're waiting for Will.
- Will's not here?!
341
00:23:10,724 --> 00:23:13,192
- No.
- Are either of you guys Trinket?
342
00:23:13,259 --> 00:23:15,159
- Close enough. Where is he?
- We're not sure.
343
00:23:15,228 --> 00:23:17,958
Damn! That baby smells like shit.
You know that, right?
344
00:23:18,031 --> 00:23:19,794
It's a good thing
you finally showed up, man.
345
00:23:19,866 --> 00:23:23,165
- They're gettin' all rowdy out there.
- Oh, Mother of God!
346
00:23:23,236 --> 00:23:25,033
- What? Jesus...
- Ollie!
347
00:23:25,105 --> 00:23:28,734
Ollie, the guy from Rolling Stone...
Holy shit! What is that smell?
348
00:23:28,808 --> 00:23:32,005
Grow up, Susan! It's a dirty diaper.
What did the Rolling Stone guy say?
349
00:23:32,078 --> 00:23:34,069
If we don't start in five minutes,
they're leaving
350
00:23:34,147 --> 00:23:36,615
to go cover the Blues Traveler
signing at Tower.
351
00:23:36,683 --> 00:23:39,914
- Jesus Christ!
- Hey, you're doing that wrong.
352
00:23:39,986 --> 00:23:42,011
- What?
- You're doing that wrong.
353
00:23:42,088 --> 00:23:45,023
You're supposed to wipe front to back.
You're wiping back to front.
354
00:23:45,091 --> 00:23:48,424
You do that, you're just wiping
the poop into her...
355
00:23:48,495 --> 00:23:50,326
crevice.
356
00:23:50,997 --> 00:23:52,726
Get outta here! Beat it!
357
00:23:52,799 --> 00:23:55,165
Mark my words,
you're gonna give her the crotch-rot.
358
00:23:55,235 --> 00:23:57,328
- Would one of you do... You do this.
- Oh, not me. No.
359
00:23:57,404 --> 00:23:59,395
Will you do this
so I can go out there and calm them down?
360
00:23:59,472 --> 00:24:02,703
Why, because I'm a girl?
I've never even seen a naked baby. No!
361
00:24:02,776 --> 00:24:05,404
Fine. Thank you very much.
I'm gonna remember this.
362
00:24:05,478 --> 00:24:09,039
- How much of this am I supposed to use?
- Should I get that guy back?
363
00:24:09,115 --> 00:24:11,515
If it's for the smell,
I suggest you use a lot.
364
00:24:11,584 --> 00:24:16,078
You gotta turn... turn it.
You gotta turn the top!
365
00:24:16,156 --> 00:24:18,784
Oh! Direct it at the baby.
366
00:24:18,858 --> 00:24:23,295
Thank you! Go out there, please,
and tell them we're about to start!
367
00:24:28,268 --> 00:24:30,259
I'd say more.
368
00:24:35,341 --> 00:24:36,535
That's a lot.
369
00:24:39,512 --> 00:24:41,912
All right,
the Fresh Prince is almost here.
370
00:24:41,981 --> 00:24:45,075
Is that blow on your shirt?
371
00:24:45,151 --> 00:24:49,110
What do you think, Stretch?
This is show business, right?
372
00:24:49,189 --> 00:24:52,590
- That was a joke, people.
- Where's the Fresh Prince?
373
00:24:52,659 --> 00:24:54,991
The Fresh Prince is on his way.
374
00:24:55,061 --> 00:24:56,926
- It's crying. Will you take it?
- No! No.
375
00:24:56,996 --> 00:25:00,295
Is that Jazzy Jeff?
376
00:25:00,366 --> 00:25:02,527
This is bullshit!
Where's the Fresh Prince?
377
00:25:02,602 --> 00:25:05,298
Will someone please shut that girl up?
378
00:25:05,371 --> 00:25:08,169
Enough with the Romper Room, man!
Bring out the Fresh Prince!
379
00:25:08,241 --> 00:25:10,141
Fresh Prince! Fresh Prince!
380
00:25:11,211 --> 00:25:13,736
Please take her.
381
00:25:14,681 --> 00:25:16,239
I...
382
00:25:18,818 --> 00:25:23,221
Goddamn it! Christ!
Give her to me! Give me the baby.
383
00:25:34,267 --> 00:25:38,431
Would you people just shut the hell up
with the “Fresh Prince” already?!
384
00:25:38,505 --> 00:25:40,564
He's a two-bit TV actor...
385
00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:42,938
who won't be around any longer
than it takes for the ink to dry
386
00:25:43,009 --> 00:25:47,810
on the pages of the worthless rags
you jerk-offs write for!
387
00:25:51,484 --> 00:25:53,349
Shit.
388
00:25:55,822 --> 00:25:58,313
- That guy's toast.
- That's a hell of a quote.
389
00:26:08,501 --> 00:26:10,901
♪ Well, I looked over Jordan
390
00:26:10,970 --> 00:26:13,598
♪ And what did I see?
391
00:26:13,673 --> 00:26:15,231
It's all right, Arthur.
392
00:26:15,308 --> 00:26:20,769
♪ Comin' for to carry me home
393
00:26:22,916 --> 00:26:26,477
♪ A band of angels
394
00:26:26,553 --> 00:26:30,045
♪ Coming after me
395
00:26:30,123 --> 00:26:35,720
♪ Coming for to carry me home
396
00:26:40,233 --> 00:26:46,570
♪ Swing low, sweet chariot
397
00:26:47,240 --> 00:26:52,678
♪ Coming for to carry me home
398
00:26:52,745 --> 00:26:58,945
♪ Swing low, sweet chariot
399
00:26:59,652 --> 00:27:04,487
♪ Coming for to carry me home
400
00:27:06,559 --> 00:27:14,559
♪ Coming for to carry me home
401
00:27:21,774 --> 00:27:23,264
We won't be here too long, Dad.
402
00:27:23,343 --> 00:27:26,835
We'll be out of your hair
as soon as I get another job.
403
00:27:26,913 --> 00:27:29,711
I have some feelers out
to the other firms right now.
404
00:27:29,782 --> 00:27:32,842
As soon as this whole thing
blows over...
405
00:27:32,919 --> 00:27:37,583
It's OK to stay here as long as you need
to, till you get back on your feet.
406
00:27:37,657 --> 00:27:40,217
- I appreciate that.
- On one condition.
407
00:27:40,293 --> 00:27:44,787
- Here we go.
- You put the kid to bed every night.
408
00:27:44,864 --> 00:27:47,856
- That's it?
- For starters.
409
00:27:47,934 --> 00:27:51,028
And no whores.
I don't want no whores in my house.
410
00:27:51,771 --> 00:27:55,434
I'm not really a whoremonger, Dad.
411
00:27:55,508 --> 00:27:58,033
Here, the kid gets this.
412
00:27:58,111 --> 00:28:01,444
That's cute.
8:00, you both get a bottle.
413
00:28:01,514 --> 00:28:06,042
Just shut the hell up and go be a father,
would ya, please?
414
00:28:29,742 --> 00:28:31,733
No?
415
00:28:38,551 --> 00:28:43,113
Yeah, this is only temporary,
us... you know...
416
00:28:43,189 --> 00:28:45,817
living with your grandfather here.
417
00:28:47,527 --> 00:28:49,427
So...
418
00:28:50,997 --> 00:28:54,125
how about that Fresh Prince thing?
419
00:28:54,200 --> 00:28:56,430
It was quite a show.
420
00:28:57,070 --> 00:28:59,698
Your dad's one big horse's ass.
421
00:29:01,741 --> 00:29:04,733
Daddy's ex-bosses said
the guys who did PR for Hitler
422
00:29:04,811 --> 00:29:08,679
have a better chance of working in
this business again than Daddy does.
423
00:29:12,552 --> 00:29:14,884
So, OK...
424
00:29:16,322 --> 00:29:18,790
How're you doin'?
425
00:29:22,228 --> 00:29:26,460
Yeah... You know,
you kinda look like your mom.
426
00:29:26,532 --> 00:29:30,434
Like a squishier,
balder version of your mom.
427
00:29:36,309 --> 00:29:38,277
Man...
428
00:29:38,344 --> 00:29:41,677
I just wish you could've gotten
to meet your mom.
429
00:29:42,648 --> 00:29:47,551
I know she wanted to meet you...
in a big, bad way.
430
00:29:50,323 --> 00:29:52,587
In a big, bad way.
431
00:29:56,996 --> 00:30:01,626
Sometimes, Daddy wishes
he'd have died instead of Mommy.
432
00:30:02,502 --> 00:30:05,437
Because Mommy never would've...
433
00:30:05,505 --> 00:30:09,305
let work get in the way of...
getting to know you,
434
00:30:09,375 --> 00:30:14,108
like Daddy has for the last...
month or so.
435
00:30:17,183 --> 00:30:21,847
It's just that Daddy...
he didn't expect Mommy...
436
00:30:22,889 --> 00:30:25,414
to leave the way she did.
437
00:30:28,261 --> 00:30:33,665
It's just really hard on Daddy, who's been
trying to fill up his days with work,
438
00:30:33,733 --> 00:30:39,035
so he wouldn't have to think about
Mommy never being around again.
439
00:30:40,039 --> 00:30:42,940
I just loved your mom so much.
440
00:30:43,009 --> 00:30:45,000
You know?
441
00:30:45,978 --> 00:30:48,412
She really lit my world on fire.
442
00:30:50,950 --> 00:30:53,111
When that happens...
443
00:30:54,120 --> 00:31:00,081
you kinda think it'll go on like that
until one of you dies. You know?
444
00:31:00,159 --> 00:31:03,253
You just don't expect...
445
00:31:03,329 --> 00:31:06,594
I miss her so much. So, so much.
446
00:31:13,239 --> 00:31:17,972
And you're a little piece of Mommy. And
that makes you really special to Daddy.
447
00:31:30,990 --> 00:31:32,981
Just don't go anywhere.
448
00:31:33,059 --> 00:31:36,551
'Cause you're the next best thing
to Mommy, and I love you so much.
449
00:31:36,629 --> 00:31:38,893
And I'll always be here for you.
450
00:31:38,965 --> 00:31:42,162
And I'm sorry about
the way I've been acting.
451
00:31:42,235 --> 00:31:46,672
I promise you...
I'll be better now.
452
00:31:46,739 --> 00:31:50,072
I'm gonna be the best daddy
in the world.
453
00:31:50,142 --> 00:31:55,136
'Cause that's what Mommy wanted.
And that's what you deserve.
454
00:31:56,682 --> 00:31:59,116
And that's all I am now.
455
00:32:00,319 --> 00:32:02,787
I'm just your dad.
456
00:32:21,274 --> 00:32:24,402
Your dad likes to run off at the mouth
sometimes, I know.
457
00:32:28,915 --> 00:32:31,543
Your mother wasn't a fan, either.
458
00:32:33,386 --> 00:32:37,015
You wanna see a picture
of your mom? I have one.
459
00:32:38,758 --> 00:32:42,660
This was your mommy.
She was really pretty.
460
00:32:43,262 --> 00:32:45,753
OK. You can keep it.
461
00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:49,994
Daddy's got a bunch.
462
00:32:51,370 --> 00:32:53,861
There you go.
463
00:33:04,350 --> 00:33:07,080
Goodnight, Gertie.
464
00:33:32,311 --> 00:33:34,677
♪ Worlds...
465
00:33:35,948 --> 00:33:38,678
♪ They rise and fall
466
00:33:40,553 --> 00:33:41,315
Gertie!
467
00:33:41,387 --> 00:33:43,480
♪ Within her eyes
468
00:33:44,657 --> 00:33:47,251
Your chariot awaits, Princess.
469
00:33:47,326 --> 00:33:49,123
Let's go!
470
00:33:50,896 --> 00:33:53,831
We gotta go! Argh!
471
00:33:53,899 --> 00:33:56,197
♪ To fly in the sky
472
00:33:56,268 --> 00:33:58,168
- How was school, good?
- Mm-hm.
473
00:33:58,237 --> 00:33:59,829
- You have a nice time?
- Yep.
474
00:33:59,905 --> 00:34:02,738
Remember to put your seat belt on?
Know where to find it?
475
00:34:02,808 --> 00:34:03,297
Yep.
476
00:34:03,376 --> 00:34:08,837
Lock and load.
Comin' around. Get ready.
477
00:34:17,790 --> 00:34:20,623
- Ready?
- Punch it, Chewy!
478
00:34:23,696 --> 00:34:26,290
- Can we go see Cats?
- Absolutely not.
479
00:34:26,365 --> 00:34:27,423
Why?
480
00:34:27,500 --> 00:34:29,934
Cats was the second-worst thing
that ever happened to New York City.
481
00:34:30,002 --> 00:34:33,802
- Besides, Cats closed three years ago.
- We never do anything cool.
482
00:34:33,873 --> 00:34:37,502
You're ridin' in the Batmobile,
aren't ya? How cool is that?
483
00:34:37,576 --> 00:34:39,100
Oh, my God.
484
00:34:39,178 --> 00:34:41,976
Look, no one's more depressed than me
that driving the street sweeper
485
00:34:42,048 --> 00:34:44,380
is considered the height
of excitement in my life.
486
00:34:44,450 --> 00:34:46,281
I used to live in New York City.
487
00:34:46,352 --> 00:34:48,343
I could've gone to see Cats
three times a day.
488
00:34:48,421 --> 00:34:52,289
- It's not like I ever ask for anything.
- Oh-ho-ho!
489
00:34:52,358 --> 00:34:54,622
“And the Oscar goes to Gertie Trinke,
490
00:34:54,694 --> 00:34:57,857
for her performance in
Laying It On Thick For My Old Man.”
491
00:34:59,532 --> 00:35:01,500
What is it with you and Cats
all of a sudden?
492
00:35:01,567 --> 00:35:04,468
I wanna sing a Cats song
in the big show, like everybody else.
493
00:35:04,537 --> 00:35:07,335
- What big show?
- There's gonna be this big show at school.
494
00:35:07,406 --> 00:35:10,603
All the people have to sing a song
with people from their family.
495
00:35:10,676 --> 00:35:14,669
- Are you inviting me to this big show?
- Duh! Yeah, you and Pop too.
496
00:35:14,747 --> 00:35:18,183
Oh-ho! I'm sure that'll go over
huge with your pop.
497
00:35:18,250 --> 00:35:20,411
Can Uncle Greenie and Uncle Block
be in it too?
498
00:35:20,486 --> 00:35:23,887
Those men are not your uncles.
They're barely even your peers.
499
00:35:23,956 --> 00:35:25,014
Pee-ers?
500
00:35:25,091 --> 00:35:28,754
- When is this big show?
- Right before Thanksgiving break.
501
00:35:28,828 --> 00:35:30,591
Does it have to be something
from the Bible?
502
00:35:30,663 --> 00:35:33,223
I don't think so.
Is Cats in the Bible?
503
00:35:33,299 --> 00:35:35,927
The Satanic Bible, yes.
504
00:35:44,944 --> 00:35:47,606
- What?
- When you taking her to see the cats?
505
00:35:47,680 --> 00:35:50,046
Jesus, you too?
506
00:35:50,116 --> 00:35:51,879
Gertie!
507
00:35:53,519 --> 00:35:55,612
Do you even know what Cats is, Dad?
508
00:35:55,688 --> 00:35:59,522
- What, I don't read the papers?
- You don't read that paper.
509
00:35:59,592 --> 00:36:01,423
What are you doing with
a New York Times?
510
00:36:01,494 --> 00:36:03,018
They ran out of the Ledger.
511
00:36:03,095 --> 00:36:05,586
They don't have the Jumble
in the Times, Dad.
512
00:36:05,664 --> 00:36:07,962
Shit.
513
00:36:08,667 --> 00:36:10,726
- Where were you?
- I was in the bathroom.
514
00:36:10,803 --> 00:36:14,136
- Why didn't I hear the toilet flush?
- Oh. I forgot.
515
00:36:14,206 --> 00:36:16,970
OK, march your butt back upstairs
and flush that toilet.
516
00:36:17,042 --> 00:36:18,805
And when I say no about something,
517
00:36:18,878 --> 00:36:21,369
like, I don't know, Cats, maybe,
I mean no.
518
00:36:21,447 --> 00:36:22,709
OK?
519
00:36:22,782 --> 00:36:27,310
- Pop, you were supposed to be subtle!
- Why do you teach her words like that?
520
00:36:27,386 --> 00:36:29,877
You're gonna have to mow the park
for me tomorrow. I can't do it.
521
00:36:29,955 --> 00:36:32,924
- Why the hell not?
- I have an appointment in the city at 11:00.
522
00:36:32,992 --> 00:36:35,483
Jesus, kid,
why do you keep doin' it to yourself?
523
00:36:35,561 --> 00:36:37,620
How many of these interviews
you gotta go on
524
00:36:37,696 --> 00:36:39,095
before you get it through
your thick head
525
00:36:39,165 --> 00:36:41,497
they don't want you
in that business anymore?
526
00:36:41,567 --> 00:36:44,331
For Christ's sakes, you made fun
of that Prince Charles guy.
527
00:36:44,403 --> 00:36:46,394
Thank you.
528
00:36:46,472 --> 00:36:50,033
First of all, Dad,
I didn't “make fun” of anybody.
529
00:36:50,109 --> 00:36:53,510
I made one remark about Will Smith,
the Fresh Prince.
530
00:36:53,579 --> 00:36:55,672
Sooner or later,
everyone's gonna forget about that
531
00:36:55,748 --> 00:36:57,773
and I'm gonna go back to doing
what I'm really good at,
532
00:36:57,850 --> 00:37:01,445
instead of sweeping streets
and plowing snow and picking up garbage.
533
00:37:01,520 --> 00:37:02,851
OK?
534
00:37:02,922 --> 00:37:07,586
If you're going into the city anyway,
at least take the kid to see the cats.
535
00:37:09,361 --> 00:37:10,919
Oh, God...
536
00:37:10,996 --> 00:37:13,863
I'll tell you what,
since there is no more Cats,
537
00:37:13,933 --> 00:37:19,371
Gertie, why don't you come over here and
pick out another play that you wanna see?
538
00:37:19,438 --> 00:37:23,101
Look through here.
Anything you want. Go nuts.
539
00:37:23,175 --> 00:37:26,941
- Cats is a show?
- Yeah, you read the papers.
540
00:37:29,348 --> 00:37:31,179
You think you're slick,
don't ya, young lady?
541
00:37:31,250 --> 00:37:33,548
Next time you're lookin'
for a partner in crime,
542
00:37:33,619 --> 00:37:35,883
you're gonna have to aim higher
than your grandfather.
543
00:37:35,955 --> 00:37:39,447
- He's soft in the head.
- I heard that!
544
00:37:42,428 --> 00:37:44,692
Here. Can we go see this show?
545
00:37:44,763 --> 00:37:47,732
Sweeney Todd? Do you know
that this has a lot of singing?
546
00:37:47,800 --> 00:37:50,792
- It's still a play.
- OK. I'm just checking.
547
00:37:50,870 --> 00:37:54,203
Your dad one time lost a bet
with someone at his work,
548
00:37:54,273 --> 00:37:58,073
and he had to go see a singing play,
done by people on roller skates.
549
00:37:58,143 --> 00:38:01,078
- Cool!
- Your dad didn't think so.
550
00:38:01,380 --> 00:38:03,371
I handled primarily
recording artists
551
00:38:03,616 --> 00:38:07,382
but when I initially trained,
I trained in film PR, so I can do that too.
552
00:38:08,420 --> 00:38:13,653
I... took the last six or seven years off.
I was raising my daughter in New Jersey.
553
00:38:13,726 --> 00:38:18,095
But I kept abreast, so...
I'm pretty comfortable jumping back in.
554
00:38:18,163 --> 00:38:21,360
What else can I tell you guys?
555
00:38:21,433 --> 00:38:24,095
That's it.
I can start, you know, right away.
556
00:38:28,107 --> 00:38:31,668
You guys all right?
557
00:38:34,513 --> 00:38:39,177
Are you the Ollie Trinke? The one
who used to work at Mandell Kirschner?
558
00:38:41,053 --> 00:38:41,576
Yeah.
559
00:38:41,654 --> 00:38:45,454
- Son of a bitch!
- Yes! I told you, Reynolds! Pay up!
560
00:38:45,524 --> 00:38:47,924
- I got it.
- Am I missin' somethin'?
561
00:38:47,993 --> 00:38:50,826
Nah, nah, he just bet me
you were the Ollie Trinke,
562
00:38:50,896 --> 00:38:52,523
the one who pulled “The Fresh Prince”.
563
00:38:52,598 --> 00:38:54,862
- They named it?
- Of course!
564
00:38:54,934 --> 00:38:57,266
Are you kidding?
You're a legend, man!
565
00:38:57,336 --> 00:39:00,134
You did what every flack
only dreams about doing!
566
00:39:00,205 --> 00:39:02,173
- Which was what?
- You went apeshit!
567
00:39:02,241 --> 00:39:04,209
You trashed your client
back to the Stone Age.
568
00:39:04,276 --> 00:39:06,574
- Yeah.
- We bow to you, man.
569
00:39:06,645 --> 00:39:09,045
- You're like a god around here.
- Yep, exactly.
570
00:39:09,114 --> 00:39:12,481
- God enough to get a job?
- No.
571
00:39:12,551 --> 00:39:16,248
- What, are you insane?
- No chance, Trinke!
572
00:39:17,690 --> 00:39:20,853
- Pop, I'm home!
- Yeah, like I give a shit.
573
00:39:20,926 --> 00:39:22,723
You know, thanks a lot, Pop!
574
00:39:30,569 --> 00:39:33,629
- That's what it looks like?
- I guess.
575
00:39:33,706 --> 00:39:36,834
- What does yours look like?
- Not like that.
576
00:39:36,909 --> 00:39:38,672
Yeah? Let me see.
577
00:39:38,744 --> 00:39:40,735
All right.
578
00:39:41,914 --> 00:39:45,247
Gertie!
It's time for Bryan to go home.
579
00:39:55,394 --> 00:39:57,225
OK...
580
00:40:04,203 --> 00:40:07,172
What are your intentions?
581
00:40:07,239 --> 00:40:10,299
What are your intentions
with my daughter?
582
00:40:10,376 --> 00:40:14,335
- Do you plan on marrying her?
- I don't know.
583
00:40:14,413 --> 00:40:18,179
Well, only married boys and girls...
584
00:40:18,250 --> 00:40:20,650
show each other their...
585
00:40:20,719 --> 00:40:23,279
their, you know...
586
00:40:23,355 --> 00:40:25,721
parts.
587
00:40:25,791 --> 00:40:26,815
OK?
588
00:40:29,094 --> 00:40:33,793
OK, Bryan, you can go now.
If you come back, come back with a ring.
589
00:40:33,866 --> 00:40:35,697
Yes, Mr. Trinke.
590
00:40:35,768 --> 00:40:37,531
- Bye, Gertie.
- Bye.
591
00:40:37,603 --> 00:40:39,730
Goodbye, Bryan.
592
00:40:42,307 --> 00:40:43,934
OK.
593
00:40:44,877 --> 00:40:47,437
Do you have any...
594
00:40:48,647 --> 00:40:52,242
questions about what you...
595
00:40:52,317 --> 00:40:53,807
you know...
596
00:40:55,554 --> 00:40:58,421
you know, whatever, saw?
597
00:41:02,995 --> 00:41:05,190
Do you have what Bryan has?
598
00:41:09,301 --> 00:41:13,704
Yes, I have one... too.
599
00:41:16,275 --> 00:41:18,505
Is yours as big as his?
600
00:41:21,480 --> 00:41:23,539
Sadly, yes.
601
00:41:24,116 --> 00:41:26,778
- Can we rent a movie?
- Yes.
602
00:41:29,421 --> 00:41:33,414
- So they wouldn't give you a job?
- No. But apparently, Daddy's a legend.
603
00:41:33,492 --> 00:41:36,518
You don't need that job anyway.
You already got a job.
604
00:41:36,595 --> 00:41:39,860
Yes, well,
Daddy used to have a job
605
00:41:39,932 --> 00:41:42,230
where a nightly shower was an option,
not a necessity.
606
00:41:42,301 --> 00:41:44,496
- You know what job you should do?
- What's that?
607
00:41:44,570 --> 00:41:47,266
You should be a dance teacher,
like Johnny in Dirty Dancing.
608
00:41:47,339 --> 00:41:51,742
I should? Should I say,
“Nobody puts Baby in a corner”?
609
00:41:51,810 --> 00:41:53,675
Oh, can we rent
Dirty Dancing again?
610
00:41:53,745 --> 00:41:57,647
Dirty Dancing ranks one notch
below Cats in my book.
611
00:41:57,716 --> 00:42:00,241
Can you pick out something else?
612
00:42:02,221 --> 00:42:04,382
Can we rent this?
613
00:42:04,456 --> 00:42:08,153
Absolutely not. Go pick out something
from the children's section.
614
00:42:08,227 --> 00:42:11,993
- All those movies suck.
- Watch your language.
615
00:42:39,958 --> 00:42:42,426
Nah, that's...
616
00:42:42,494 --> 00:42:45,019
No, I guess that's it.
Yep, yep, that's it.
617
00:42:46,565 --> 00:42:49,693
I'll just take this
and whatever the kid's getting.
618
00:42:49,768 --> 00:42:53,295
Just go ahead and put it in the bag.
I'm all set.
619
00:42:53,372 --> 00:42:55,363
It's good.
620
00:42:57,709 --> 00:43:01,372
“Bi-Bi Guys, featuring Curious Jordie”?
621
00:43:03,282 --> 00:43:06,979
Interesting choice. Does the wife know
you're looking into your options?
622
00:43:07,052 --> 00:43:09,179
It's... I got the...
623
00:43:10,155 --> 00:43:12,385
- I got the wrong box by accident.
- Oh, right.
624
00:43:12,457 --> 00:43:15,620
Would you mind...
exchanging that for me for something...
625
00:43:15,694 --> 00:43:18,390
anything you can get your hands on
that's, you know...
626
00:43:18,463 --> 00:43:22,160
- So, then you want something...
- ...that's non-bi.
627
00:43:27,906 --> 00:43:29,703
Can I have your
membership card, please?
628
00:43:29,775 --> 00:43:31,572
Yeah, sure.
629
00:43:31,643 --> 00:43:35,079
Do you mind if I asked you a few questions
about your renting practices?
630
00:43:35,147 --> 00:43:37,081
Sure.
631
00:43:37,149 --> 00:43:38,912
Really?
632
00:43:38,984 --> 00:43:43,785
Do you always rent adult titles with your
daughter in tow, or is this the first time?
633
00:43:43,855 --> 00:43:44,753
Excuse me?
634
00:43:44,823 --> 00:43:48,156
When you rent porn, do you
usually do it with family around,
635
00:43:48,227 --> 00:43:51,025
or is this like a, you know,
special occasion?
636
00:43:52,231 --> 00:43:56,827
- Do I have to answer this?
- I'm a grad student, writing a thesis paper.
637
00:43:56,902 --> 00:44:01,737
“A Bird in the Hand: The Family Man
and the Pornographic Fixation”.
638
00:44:03,375 --> 00:44:05,707
OK. I would rather not take part.
639
00:44:05,777 --> 00:44:07,142
Really?
640
00:44:07,212 --> 00:44:10,409
Frank, is Bi-Bi Guys
a one or a two-night rental?
641
00:44:10,482 --> 00:44:14,509
- What are you getting, Daddy?
- Yeah, Daddy. Let's just take a look...
642
00:44:14,586 --> 00:44:16,554
Let's not, OK?
643
00:44:19,858 --> 00:44:23,817
Would you mind not asking me those
questions when my daughter's with me?
644
00:44:23,895 --> 00:44:26,420
How about when you bring these back?
645
00:44:26,498 --> 00:44:28,432
That's... Yeah.
646
00:44:28,500 --> 00:44:33,699
In an effort to get honest feedback,
leave the kid and the wife at home.
647
00:44:33,772 --> 00:44:37,037
My mom's dead.
She died when I was born.
648
00:44:37,109 --> 00:44:38,940
Oh, Jesus.
649
00:44:39,645 --> 00:44:41,943
Man, I'm sorry. I didn't...
650
00:44:42,014 --> 00:44:44,448
No, you didn't.
651
00:44:47,185 --> 00:44:48,914
Let's go.
652
00:44:50,956 --> 00:44:53,151
I'm sorry.
653
00:44:53,225 --> 00:44:55,250
Do I have to?
654
00:44:55,327 --> 00:45:00,458
Major Damage didn't have to go to bed
when he fought the Tiki Terrors!
655
00:45:00,532 --> 00:45:02,500
- Melvin!
- And do they...
656
00:45:02,567 --> 00:45:04,398
I'll get it.
657
00:45:04,469 --> 00:45:07,802
You will not. You're not even
supposed to be up this late.
658
00:45:07,873 --> 00:45:10,137
Watch your video.
659
00:45:10,208 --> 00:45:13,006
- But, Mom!
- Say, “OK, Mom.”
660
00:45:13,078 --> 00:45:15,740
Say, “OK, Mom.”
661
00:45:16,615 --> 00:45:17,980
Hi.
662
00:45:18,050 --> 00:45:20,280
Hey! You're the lady
from the video store.
663
00:45:21,219 --> 00:45:25,952
Let's not use that term too loosely, OK?
Go back and watch your video.
664
00:45:28,393 --> 00:45:29,621
Yes?
665
00:45:29,695 --> 00:45:31,686
I just wanted to come here
666
00:45:31,763 --> 00:45:35,529
and tell you that I'm really sorry
about earlier tonight.
667
00:45:35,600 --> 00:45:39,366
I feel like shit about what I said
and your daughter and everything.
668
00:45:39,438 --> 00:45:42,407
Well... you should.
669
00:45:42,474 --> 00:45:44,669
You know that kid was crying
in the car the whole way home?
670
00:45:44,743 --> 00:45:47,473
- Oh, no...
- No, I wasn't.
671
00:45:48,013 --> 00:45:51,676
- Get back inside and watch your video!
- Nice! Real nice.
672
00:45:51,750 --> 00:45:55,447
See, now you have to let me
interview you for my paper.
673
00:45:55,520 --> 00:45:57,044
Is that why you're here?
674
00:45:57,122 --> 00:46:00,057
I just think you'd make one hell of
an interesting case study.
675
00:46:00,125 --> 00:46:04,391
The sympathetic widower who doesn't have
time to date 'cause he's raising a kid,
676
00:46:04,463 --> 00:46:07,796
so he rents porn instead. I mean,
I think that's very interesting stuff.
677
00:46:07,866 --> 00:46:10,357
Jesus Christ!
You've got some nerve, lady.
678
00:46:10,435 --> 00:46:13,802
And besides,
I'd really like to make it up to you.
679
00:46:13,872 --> 00:46:16,864
For what I said,
and for embarrassing you before that.
680
00:46:16,942 --> 00:46:19,968
You're really having a banner evening.
You're batting a thousand tonight.
681
00:46:20,045 --> 00:46:23,481
You're Ollie, right?
I'm Maya Harding.
682
00:46:26,418 --> 00:46:28,409
“Hi, Maya. Nice to meet you.”
683
00:46:28,487 --> 00:46:29,476
Hi.
684
00:46:29,554 --> 00:46:32,216
Come on, why don't you let me
take you out one day this week?
685
00:46:32,290 --> 00:46:36,021
You do eat lunch when you're not
knee-deep in adult movies, right?
686
00:46:37,028 --> 00:46:40,122
I appreciate it, but...
no thanks.
687
00:46:40,198 --> 00:46:43,190
Ollie, come on,
you're ruining my karma level here.
688
00:46:43,268 --> 00:46:45,862
What, buying me one lunch
is gonna square you with Krishna?
689
00:46:45,937 --> 00:46:47,427
Hare Hare!
690
00:46:50,442 --> 00:46:52,740
Is Monday OK? Sound good?
691
00:46:52,811 --> 00:46:57,805
I mean, I was thinking nothing fancy.
I was thinking maybe, like, the diner.
692
00:46:57,883 --> 00:47:01,046
- Around noon?
- No!
693
00:47:02,521 --> 00:47:04,386
Noon it is!
694
00:47:04,456 --> 00:47:06,185
Oh...
695
00:47:06,258 --> 00:47:08,283
See you there. Bye!
696
00:47:11,029 --> 00:47:13,156
An incredibly strange woman.
697
00:47:23,041 --> 00:47:25,737
I did not hear the toilet flush.
698
00:47:30,749 --> 00:47:32,182
Thank you.
699
00:47:36,087 --> 00:47:39,352
- Can we get popcorn?
- This isn't the movies, sweetheart.
700
00:47:39,424 --> 00:47:44,760
They don't sell popcorn here.
This is Broadway. This is class.
701
00:47:44,830 --> 00:47:47,264
♪ And if you're beautiful
702
00:47:47,332 --> 00:47:48,321
♪ What then?
703
00:47:48,400 --> 00:47:50,766
♪ With yellow hair like wheat
704
00:47:50,836 --> 00:47:55,170
♪ I think we shall not meet again,
my little dove
705
00:47:55,240 --> 00:47:58,300
♪ My sweet Johanna
706
00:48:03,181 --> 00:48:05,877
♪ Goodbye, Johanna
707
00:48:06,318 --> 00:48:08,912
♪ You're gone and yet you're mine
708
00:48:09,421 --> 00:48:11,685
♪ I'm fine, Johanna
709
00:48:11,756 --> 00:48:15,487
♪ I'm fine
710
00:48:15,927 --> 00:48:19,761
OK. You see that floor.
Now look three windows in from the right.
711
00:48:19,831 --> 00:48:23,699
See that window? That's where we
used to live before we lived with Pop.
712
00:48:23,768 --> 00:48:26,362
We'd still live there
if we lived in the city.
713
00:48:26,438 --> 00:48:29,373
- If Mommy was still alive?
- Yep.
714
00:48:30,275 --> 00:48:31,799
- Dad...
- Yes?
715
00:48:31,877 --> 00:48:34,345
Do you miss Mommy?
716
00:48:34,412 --> 00:48:37,210
I do. Every day.
717
00:48:37,949 --> 00:48:41,476
- What was she like?
- I've told you a million times.
718
00:48:41,553 --> 00:48:45,080
- I know, but I forget.
- No, I don't think you forget.
719
00:48:45,156 --> 00:48:47,954
I think you just like to hear me tell you.
Which is OK. It's all right.
720
00:48:48,026 --> 00:48:49,687
You can ask about your mommy
as much as you want.
721
00:48:49,761 --> 00:48:51,285
So tell me already.
722
00:48:51,363 --> 00:48:54,332
Well, she was pushy,
like you were right there.
723
00:48:54,399 --> 00:48:58,392
She was beautiful,
like you are right now.
724
00:48:58,470 --> 00:49:02,031
And she was... smart...
725
00:49:03,174 --> 00:49:06,007
and strong,
like you'll grow up to be one day.
726
00:49:06,077 --> 00:49:07,374
I'm smart now.
727
00:49:07,445 --> 00:49:09,970
I know. I wasn't impugning
your intelligence or anything.
728
00:49:10,048 --> 00:49:12,039
What's “impugning” mean?
729
00:49:12,117 --> 00:49:14,244
Oh, not so smart now, are you?
730
00:49:14,319 --> 00:49:16,947
- That's a big word.
- Yes, you're right, it is.
731
00:49:17,022 --> 00:49:19,650
Let's see.
To impugn means to criticize.
732
00:49:19,724 --> 00:49:24,058
So... Pop's always impugning you, right?
733
00:49:24,563 --> 00:49:26,053
Well, he thinks he is.
734
00:49:26,131 --> 00:49:28,497
But he's just talking
to make sure he's still alive.
735
00:49:28,567 --> 00:49:31,468
Pop is a very, very old man.
736
00:49:33,371 --> 00:49:35,362
What do you think?
You like the city?
737
00:49:35,540 --> 00:49:38,270
It's OK.
But I like Highlands better.
738
00:49:38,343 --> 00:49:39,935
- You do?
- Yeah.
739
00:49:40,011 --> 00:49:43,777
My school's there, and my friends...
And we can rent movies there.
740
00:49:43,848 --> 00:49:47,443
Well, if memory serves,
you can rent movies here too.
741
00:49:47,519 --> 00:49:50,613
Yeah, but not from that pretty lady
at the video store.
742
00:49:50,689 --> 00:49:53,055
- Oh, you think she's pretty, do you?
- Don't you?
743
00:49:53,124 --> 00:49:55,922
Isn't that why
you're taking her on a date?
744
00:49:55,994 --> 00:50:00,260
It's not a date.
The only girl I take on dates is you, OK?
745
00:50:00,332 --> 00:50:01,799
This is a date.
We're on a date.
746
00:50:01,866 --> 00:50:03,629
- We are?
- Mm-hm.
747
00:50:03,702 --> 00:50:06,967
- It doesn't feel like a date.
- It doesn't?
748
00:50:07,038 --> 00:50:09,836
Well, I can fix that.
749
00:50:11,776 --> 00:50:12,606
Sir!
750
00:50:31,363 --> 00:50:35,265
How often do you rent adult movies?
751
00:50:36,434 --> 00:50:39,801
- Do I really have to do this?
- You have nothing to be ashamed about.
752
00:50:39,871 --> 00:50:43,500
Interest in adult film can be healthy,
as long as it's not habitual.
753
00:50:43,575 --> 00:50:48,342
- So come on, how often?
- Three or four times a week.
754
00:50:49,114 --> 00:50:51,582
OK, maybe I was wrong.
You should be ashamed.
755
00:50:51,650 --> 00:50:54,016
You have a real talent
for making the subject feel open
756
00:50:54,085 --> 00:50:56,178
and comfortable
in a safe environment.
757
00:50:56,254 --> 00:50:59,348
So you're renting it presumably
to masturbate to, right?
758
00:50:59,424 --> 00:51:01,915
- Good God!
- Come on, don't be such a tight-ass.
759
00:51:01,993 --> 00:51:03,085
We're all adults here.
760
00:51:03,161 --> 00:51:04,958
I know I'm an adult.
How old are you, exactly?
761
00:51:05,030 --> 00:51:07,021
- I'll be 26 in March.
- 26?
762
00:51:07,098 --> 00:51:10,192
You still haven't learned some things
aren't polite to talk about in public?
763
00:51:10,268 --> 00:51:13,863
If it makes you feel any better,
I do it, like, twice a day.
764
00:51:14,272 --> 00:51:17,799
- Good God!
- What can I tell ya? I get bored easily.
765
00:51:17,876 --> 00:51:20,344
You're gonna get
carpal tunnel syndrome.
766
00:51:20,412 --> 00:51:23,939
Don't get all judgmental with me.
You're no slouch yourself.
767
00:51:24,015 --> 00:51:26,848
- Well, no, I...
- I just have a healthy sexual appetite.
768
00:51:26,918 --> 00:51:29,182
Why don't you go out
and get yourself a boyfriend?
769
00:51:29,254 --> 00:51:31,484
Why don't you just go out
and get yourself a girlfriend?
770
00:51:31,556 --> 00:51:33,649
I work all day,
I hang out with my kid all night.
771
00:51:33,725 --> 00:51:35,989
So you'd rather hang out with your kid
than get laid?
772
00:51:36,061 --> 00:51:41,055
- Yeah.
- Aw... that's kinda sweet.
773
00:51:42,200 --> 00:51:44,828
I'm kinda crushin' on
you right now, Trinke.
774
00:51:44,903 --> 00:51:47,064
OK. Can I go home now?
775
00:51:47,138 --> 00:51:50,005
No.
When was the last time you had sex?
776
00:51:51,409 --> 00:51:54,310
I would rather not
disclose that information.
777
00:51:54,379 --> 00:51:56,040
Oh, come on,
don't clam up on me now.
778
00:51:56,114 --> 00:51:58,309
You're gonna remain anonymous
in my paper.
779
00:51:58,383 --> 00:52:01,682
Ha! Anonymity doesn't concern me.
Embarrassment does.
780
00:52:01,753 --> 00:52:05,154
- Why would you be embarrassed?
- Because it's been a long time.
781
00:52:05,223 --> 00:52:08,556
- How long?
- A long time.
782
00:52:08,626 --> 00:52:11,561
Come on, champ. Own it.
Just put it out there.
783
00:52:11,629 --> 00:52:14,257
I swear I won't make
any editorial cracks about it.
784
00:52:14,332 --> 00:52:16,800
Not in front of you, at least.
785
00:52:19,938 --> 00:52:23,999
- Seven years.
- Seven years?
786
00:52:24,075 --> 00:52:26,805
Since my wife died, yeah.
787
00:52:27,879 --> 00:52:31,781
You know, a dumbfounded,
mouth-agape look of shock
788
00:52:31,850 --> 00:52:34,751
might be construed by some
as an editorial crack too.
789
00:52:35,153 --> 00:52:37,713
- I'm sorry.
- It's OK. It's fine.
790
00:52:37,789 --> 00:52:41,156
No, it's not.
I mean, it's not at all.
791
00:52:41,226 --> 00:52:45,390
With all due respect to your wife,
you've gotta get back on the horse, man.
792
00:52:45,463 --> 00:52:48,398
- No, I don't, actually.
- Yes, you do.
793
00:52:48,466 --> 00:52:51,765
- No, I don't.
- Yes, you... Get up.
794
00:52:51,836 --> 00:52:54,964
- Are we done?
- With this, for now. But come with me.
795
00:52:55,039 --> 00:52:56,973
Lord have mercy.
796
00:52:58,543 --> 00:53:00,602
- Where are we going?
- To your place.
797
00:53:00,678 --> 00:53:03,169
We're gonna have some sex.
798
00:53:05,416 --> 00:53:10,479
- What, did you forget something?
- No. Look, I appreciate the offer.
799
00:53:11,389 --> 00:53:14,984
I'm very flattered.
But I can't do this.
800
00:53:15,660 --> 00:53:17,560
What's the matter?
Don't you think I'm cute?
801
00:53:17,629 --> 00:53:20,097
- Of course I think you're cute.
- Well, then?
802
00:53:20,165 --> 00:53:23,134
Look, I'm not just celibate
because of my daughter.
803
00:53:23,201 --> 00:53:25,396
There are a lot of emotional
issues in it too.
804
00:53:25,470 --> 00:53:30,100
I mean, my wife may be dead.
I'm still very much in love with her.
805
00:53:30,175 --> 00:53:33,303
Hey, I respect that. I'm not telling you
to fall in love with me here,
806
00:53:33,378 --> 00:53:35,403
and I'm not trying to replace your wife.
807
00:53:35,480 --> 00:53:40,042
I'm just talking about two consenting
adults having some casual sex.
808
00:53:40,118 --> 00:53:44,680
Probably some really short casual sex,
with you being a little out of practice.
809
00:53:44,756 --> 00:53:47,691
- I can't do it, I'm sorry.
- What are you, a monk?
810
00:53:47,759 --> 00:53:50,455
God!
Let's look at this logically, OK?
811
00:53:50,528 --> 00:53:54,089
- You rent porn and touch yourself, right?
- Would you lower your voice?
812
00:53:54,165 --> 00:53:57,328
If you're not sweating how your wife
would feel about you and porn,
813
00:53:57,402 --> 00:54:01,600
then you shouldn't sweat what
I'm proposing 'cause it's the same thing.
814
00:54:01,673 --> 00:54:05,666
Only somebody else is doing the touching
and you're saving a $2 rental fee.
815
00:54:07,111 --> 00:54:11,605
Come on, stud.
Man cannot live on porn alone.
816
00:54:29,300 --> 00:54:31,029
Oh, God...
817
00:54:32,070 --> 00:54:34,334
I'm home!
818
00:54:34,405 --> 00:54:35,497
Pop?!
819
00:54:35,573 --> 00:54:39,873
- Oh, my God... What do I do?
- Get in the bathroom!
820
00:54:57,762 --> 00:55:01,357
- Pop?
- No, honey, it's me.
821
00:55:01,432 --> 00:55:04,424
Daddy? Why aren't you at work?
822
00:55:05,770 --> 00:55:09,331
Because I had to come home and do...
I had to...
823
00:55:09,407 --> 00:55:11,671
come home and take a shower.
824
00:55:12,677 --> 00:55:15,771
- Can we rent a movie?
- Yeah, sure, sure, sure.
825
00:55:15,847 --> 00:55:19,044
As soon as I get done up here
and dry off, I'll come down.
826
00:55:19,117 --> 00:55:20,914
OK.
827
00:55:23,321 --> 00:55:25,050
Oh, my God. That was so close.
828
00:55:25,123 --> 00:55:27,421
What do we do now? I'm wet.
829
00:55:34,499 --> 00:55:36,729
Sorry, Dad, I forgot again.
830
00:55:49,013 --> 00:55:50,537
Hi, honey.
831
00:55:50,615 --> 00:55:53,880
You remember Maya.
From the video store.
832
00:56:06,364 --> 00:56:10,266
- What are your intentions?
- Excuse me?
833
00:56:10,335 --> 00:56:12,394
What are your intentions
with my father?
834
00:56:12,470 --> 00:56:14,461
Like, do you plan on marrying him?
835
00:56:14,906 --> 00:56:16,669
I don't...
836
00:56:16,741 --> 00:56:20,643
Because I was taught that only married
girls show their girl parts to boys.
837
00:56:20,712 --> 00:56:25,775
- Right, Daddy?
- Right. Yes.
838
00:56:26,184 --> 00:56:27,913
Mm-hm.
839
00:56:27,986 --> 00:56:31,012
Can we rent all the movies we want
for free?
840
00:56:31,656 --> 00:56:32,645
What?
841
00:56:32,724 --> 00:56:35,249
Can we rent all the movies we want
for free?
842
00:56:35,326 --> 00:56:38,352
Yes! Yes, yes.
For God's sake, yes.
843
00:56:38,429 --> 00:56:42,729
If it means we're not, you know,
that we're not in trouble anymore.
844
00:56:42,800 --> 00:56:44,199
And... Right, Maya? Yes!
845
00:56:44,268 --> 00:56:46,463
Whatever you want.
It's on the house.
846
00:56:46,537 --> 00:56:49,335
Even Dirty Dancing?
847
00:56:54,812 --> 00:56:55,506
Yeah.
848
00:56:55,580 --> 00:56:58,276
And we can do Sweeney Todd
for the show at school?
849
00:56:58,349 --> 00:56:59,316
What?
850
00:56:59,384 --> 00:57:01,477
We can do Sweeney Todd
for the show at school?
851
00:57:01,552 --> 00:57:05,215
- No, honey, that's too grown-up.
- Really?
852
00:57:06,224 --> 00:57:09,921
Oh man, what am I gonna tell Pop
about you guys?
853
00:57:14,298 --> 00:57:16,994
Fine. We can do Sweeney Todd
for the show at school.
854
00:57:17,068 --> 00:57:18,899
OK!
855
00:57:19,570 --> 00:57:22,471
Would you shut the hell up already?
Christ, Greenie, you're always...
856
00:57:22,540 --> 00:57:23,973
- Oh, Jesus.
- Oh!
857
00:57:24,042 --> 00:57:29,139
Christ Almighty.
You wearin' a... wearin' a towel?
858
00:57:30,648 --> 00:57:32,639
Just as long as you didn't do it
on my bed.
859
00:57:32,750 --> 00:57:37,153
Oh, Jesus Christ, it was one time in
high school! You wanna let it go already?
860
00:57:37,221 --> 00:57:41,351
I banged a broad
in my parents' bed once. It was nice.
861
00:57:42,093 --> 00:57:46,257
Terrific. Just so you know,
we didn't “bang”.
862
00:57:46,330 --> 00:57:48,321
- What, did ya get to third base?
- No!
863
00:57:48,399 --> 00:57:50,526
Not that it's any of your business,
but we didn't do anything.
864
00:57:50,601 --> 00:57:53,092
We lost our heads for a second,
then cooler heads prevailed
865
00:57:53,171 --> 00:57:55,731
and we stopped before we
did anything we'd both regret.
866
00:57:55,807 --> 00:57:58,605
- The kid busted in on 'em.
- Oh.
867
00:57:58,676 --> 00:58:01,110
Let's talk about something else
for a second, like this water main.
868
00:58:01,179 --> 00:58:03,477
- How bad is it?
- Definitely needs to be replaced.
869
00:58:03,548 --> 00:58:06,449
Jesus Christ. If we gotta shut down
Bay Avenue for that,
870
00:58:06,517 --> 00:58:08,508
this town is gonna throw a shit fit.
871
00:58:08,586 --> 00:58:09,814
I'm sure.
872
00:58:09,887 --> 00:58:13,823
Hey, kid, you haven't had to inconvenience
the taxpayers on the job yet.
873
00:58:13,891 --> 00:58:16,792
They get like animals.
Remember back in '88?
874
00:58:16,861 --> 00:58:18,294
South Peak Street.
875
00:58:18,362 --> 00:58:21,763
Holy shit, I thought they were gonna
crucify us upside down.
876
00:58:21,833 --> 00:58:26,236
- Like St Peter.
- Who are you, the Holy Father?
877
00:58:26,304 --> 00:58:29,933
Everybody knows I meant St Peter.
You don't have to explain my shit.
878
00:58:30,007 --> 00:58:31,372
I'm just saying...
879
00:58:31,442 --> 00:58:33,569
When I was down there,
how many cars did you wave around?
880
00:58:33,644 --> 00:58:34,633
Three or four.
881
00:58:34,712 --> 00:58:38,307
Three or four cars
for the whole half hour I was down there?
882
00:58:38,382 --> 00:58:39,610
Well, it was rush hour.
883
00:58:39,684 --> 00:58:43,017
Yeah, I don't think the legion of commuters
in the Highlands of New Jersey
884
00:58:43,087 --> 00:58:48,115
are gonna object to us closing down a
small portion of Bay Avenue for a few days.
885
00:58:48,192 --> 00:58:51,457
One at a time, please! One at a time!
886
00:58:53,231 --> 00:58:56,257
- We're doing the best we can.
- You were saying?
887
00:58:56,334 --> 00:59:00,794
Why doesn't somebody just go up there
and explain to them what's happening?
888
00:59:00,872 --> 00:59:03,432
Why don't you do it, Daddy?
Wasn't that your old job?
889
00:59:03,508 --> 00:59:06,909
Making people like singers
by saying nice things about 'em?
890
00:59:07,645 --> 00:59:11,342
- Yes, baby, but...
- No, the kid's got a point there.
891
00:59:11,415 --> 00:59:13,474
As a guy who used to
sling bullshit for a living,
892
00:59:13,551 --> 00:59:15,985
I nominate you to go up there
and say something.
893
00:59:16,053 --> 00:59:17,577
- Oh, you do?
- Yeah.
894
00:59:17,655 --> 00:59:20,453
- It can't hurt.
- Go ahead.
895
00:59:22,627 --> 00:59:24,857
Thanks, Pop.
896
00:59:26,597 --> 00:59:28,690
Control yourselves!
897
00:59:30,034 --> 00:59:32,025
He's goin' up there.
898
00:59:35,239 --> 00:59:38,538
Folks, one second.
Please. Folks.
899
00:59:38,609 --> 00:59:42,739
My name's Oliver Trinke
and I'm with the borough.
900
00:59:42,813 --> 00:59:45,782
So I guess that makes me
the least popular guy in the room.
901
00:59:52,356 --> 00:59:54,984
I want to assure you that...
902
00:59:55,059 --> 00:59:59,223
this Bay Avenue job will be
a very minimal inconvenience.
903
00:59:59,297 --> 01:00:01,288
It'll only take three days at the most.
904
01:00:01,365 --> 01:00:03,595
Bullshit! Bullshit!
905
01:00:12,476 --> 01:00:16,173
Folks, a little decorum!
A little decorum!
906
01:00:28,059 --> 01:00:29,822
Folks, one second.
907
01:00:29,894 --> 01:00:33,660
I just have one more thing
that I just want to add.
908
01:00:43,374 --> 01:00:46,468
I live in this town. I see you guys
headin' to work every day.
909
01:01:13,037 --> 01:01:14,561
I'm telling you,
it was amazing!
910
01:01:14,639 --> 01:01:19,770
And I get up there and I weave this
web of bullshit so profoundly mesmerizing,
911
01:01:19,844 --> 01:01:23,280
- I turn the entire place around!
- You silver-tongued devil, you.
912
01:01:23,347 --> 01:01:27,249
Everything I was saying
was just right on the money, you know?
913
01:01:27,318 --> 01:01:31,152
Maybe that's 'cause you weren't actually
slinging as much bullshit as you thought.
914
01:01:31,222 --> 01:01:34,487
“Get out there and play in the dirt”?
I mean, what... I made that up!
915
01:01:34,558 --> 01:01:37,254
Sounds pretty good to me.
Hey, Gert.
916
01:01:37,328 --> 01:01:41,628
The sad thing is, I had a greater sense of
accomplishment from the water-main thing
917
01:01:41,699 --> 01:01:43,690
than anything else I've done
in the past seven years.
918
01:01:43,768 --> 01:01:46,760
I get it. I mean, you set out
to do something and you did it.
919
01:01:46,837 --> 01:01:49,431
So you feel drunk with power now.
Makes sense.
920
01:01:49,507 --> 01:01:52,874
That's just it. I was the youngest flack
ever put in charge of its entire division...
921
01:01:52,943 --> 01:01:54,342
in the history of
Mandell Kirschner.
922
01:01:54,412 --> 01:01:56,346
- I know.
- That's an accomplishment.
923
01:01:56,414 --> 01:01:59,781
Convincing a town to approve something
that's already in their best interest?
924
01:01:59,850 --> 01:02:03,342
- That's just delayed common sense.
- Yeah, but that's your life now.
925
01:02:03,421 --> 01:02:06,948
I mean, being the youngest flack
in the history of blah, blah, blah...
926
01:02:07,024 --> 01:02:10,425
that's not you anymore.
I mean, that might never have been you.
927
01:02:10,494 --> 01:02:12,826
Oh, it was me.
It was me with my own apartment,
928
01:02:12,897 --> 01:02:15,161
me richer, me with more self-respect.
929
01:02:15,232 --> 01:02:17,462
Like it or not, this is you.
930
01:02:17,535 --> 01:02:21,869
I mean, forget about what you thought
you were and just accept who you are.
931
01:02:22,873 --> 01:02:26,741
- I guess I'll just get this.
- Gert, what are you doing?
932
01:02:26,811 --> 01:02:30,713
I distinctly remember your father telling
you you could get Dirty Dancing.
933
01:02:30,781 --> 01:02:34,615
- Oh, yeah! He did!
- Yeah.
934
01:02:36,120 --> 01:02:37,985
Thanks for that, by the way.
935
01:02:38,055 --> 01:02:41,752
Incidentally, she's been asking me
when she's gonna grow boobies like yours.
936
01:02:41,826 --> 01:02:44,624
- Oh, my God!
- She's seven, OK?
937
01:02:44,695 --> 01:02:48,631
If you want, I can give her the old “boobie”
talk my mom gave me when I was a kid.
938
01:02:48,699 --> 01:02:51,497
Does that talk include
using the word “knockers”?
939
01:02:59,510 --> 01:03:04,209
I'm glad there's no, you know,
awkwardness between us.
940
01:03:04,281 --> 01:03:09,480
After the... well, the thing
that happened last week with...
941
01:03:09,553 --> 01:03:12,044
Ollie, I was gonna give you a mercy jump.
942
01:03:12,690 --> 01:03:16,285
The moment passed.
It's no big deal.
943
01:03:16,360 --> 01:03:19,887
- Just friends, right?
- Yeah, friends.
944
01:03:23,100 --> 01:03:26,467
“Mercy jump.”
Stay away from my kid.
945
01:03:34,412 --> 01:03:37,347
- No, that's too round.
- Shut up.
946
01:03:37,415 --> 01:03:41,181
- Shut up! Shut up!
- Just make it...
947
01:03:41,252 --> 01:03:44,744
- Would you shut the hell up?!
- All right!
948
01:03:44,822 --> 01:03:47,655
There's people gettin'
their throats cut in this thing.
949
01:03:47,725 --> 01:03:49,022
Yep.
950
01:03:49,093 --> 01:03:51,653
And your father said
you could do this for the show?
951
01:03:51,729 --> 01:03:53,162
Yep.
952
01:03:53,864 --> 01:03:57,095
Why the hell would he
OK you singing this shit?
953
01:03:57,168 --> 01:04:00,695
Because I saw him and Maya
naked in the shower.
954
01:04:00,771 --> 01:04:02,534
Oh, yeah.
955
01:04:02,606 --> 01:04:05,097
That'll do it.
956
01:04:27,198 --> 01:04:31,328
Can I speak with
an Arthur Brickman, please?
957
01:04:41,011 --> 01:04:43,377
- Ollie.
- Arthur.
958
01:04:43,447 --> 01:04:45,438
- Hey, man.
- How're you doin'?
959
01:04:45,516 --> 01:04:48,713
- Good. How are you?
- Good. Good to see you.
960
01:04:48,786 --> 01:04:52,847
You know, the town voted unanimously,
approved the water main, so...
961
01:04:52,923 --> 01:04:55,255
You were always great with a crowd.
962
01:04:55,326 --> 01:04:58,420
Well, except that...
that once, of course.
963
01:04:58,496 --> 01:05:01,829
But that's it. It was the polar opposite
of the Fresh Prince incident.
964
01:05:01,899 --> 01:05:07,735
It was like I was on the top of my game.
Which is why I wanted to see ya.
965
01:05:07,805 --> 01:05:11,639
- I wanna ask you a favor.
- Anything, man. What?
966
01:05:11,709 --> 01:05:15,873
Is there any way that you could
get me an interview with your firm?
967
01:05:19,917 --> 01:05:22,385
You're serious?
968
01:05:22,453 --> 01:05:24,785
I thought it was weird
that you wanted to eat here.
969
01:05:24,855 --> 01:05:27,881
- Oh, I know it's gonna be tough...
- Tough?
970
01:05:27,958 --> 01:05:32,554
Ollie, you called a roomful of press
a bunch of jerk-offs,
971
01:05:32,630 --> 01:05:35,497
and trashed a client who's one of
the biggest movie stars on the planet.
972
01:05:35,566 --> 01:05:38,034
- He wasn't big then.
- No, but he is now.
973
01:05:38,102 --> 01:05:40,935
You wanna know how big?
When I left Mandell Kirschner,
974
01:05:41,005 --> 01:05:44,202
there were some firms that wouldn't
even look at my resume because I...
975
01:05:44,275 --> 01:05:46,675
No offense,
but because I worked under you.
976
01:05:48,546 --> 01:05:52,243
I've only been at Angellotti a year now...
977
01:05:52,316 --> 01:05:55,717
You know what, man? Forget I asked.
Don't worry about it. Seriously.
978
01:05:55,786 --> 01:05:58,687
- It was stupid. I got carried away...
- No, let me finish.
979
01:05:58,756 --> 01:06:01,281
What I was gonna say was...
980
01:06:01,358 --> 01:06:07,490
I've been waiting years to be in a position
to be able to help you out, and now I am.
981
01:06:07,565 --> 01:06:10,398
It's not gonna be an easy sell, but...
982
01:06:10,467 --> 01:06:14,426
I think I can get you in a room
with Angellotti himself.
983
01:06:15,239 --> 01:06:18,003
- Thank you so much.
- Of course.
984
01:06:20,678 --> 01:06:22,839
You know, you're a lot more affectionate
than I remember.
985
01:06:22,913 --> 01:06:26,713
It's just...
I miss it so much, you know?
986
01:06:26,784 --> 01:06:29,275
It's the only thing
I was ever any good at.
987
01:06:29,353 --> 01:06:32,151
Oh, this is great.
I can move back here...
988
01:06:32,222 --> 01:06:35,623
I can put Gertie in a really good,
expensive private school...
989
01:06:35,693 --> 01:06:38,594
I can get her a nanny, you know?
990
01:06:38,662 --> 01:06:42,860
It'll be like that whole Fresh Prince thing
never even happened.
991
01:06:42,933 --> 01:06:48,132
I'll work on the old man when I get back to
the office and call you tonight if it's a go.
992
01:06:48,205 --> 01:06:49,536
Oh, great.
993
01:06:49,607 --> 01:06:51,802
♪ Excuse me
994
01:06:51,875 --> 01:06:53,604
♪ Dear, see to the customers
995
01:06:53,677 --> 01:06:55,577
♪ Guess what's the...
996
01:06:55,646 --> 01:06:57,580
- ♪ Quick now!
- ♪ My heart's a-flutter
997
01:06:57,648 --> 01:06:59,548
♪ When I pound the floor
998
01:06:59,617 --> 01:07:01,312
♪ It's a signal to show
that I'm ready to go
999
01:07:01,385 --> 01:07:05,048
♪ When I pound the floor...
I have to get the phone.
1000
01:07:05,122 --> 01:07:08,023
Come on, Pop! Do Dad's part.
1001
01:07:08,092 --> 01:07:09,650
- Me?
- Yeah.
1002
01:07:09,727 --> 01:07:11,319
Yeah, go do that.
1003
01:07:12,363 --> 01:07:14,923
Hello? Hey, Arthur.
1004
01:07:18,535 --> 01:07:20,799
You're kidding?
1005
01:07:24,441 --> 01:07:27,308
♪ I'll pound three times
Three times...
1006
01:07:27,378 --> 01:07:31,007
Why do I have to sing your dad's part? I'm
supposed to be the guy who gets clipped.
1007
01:07:31,081 --> 01:07:35,142
- You are, but you're Dad's understudy too.
- What the hell is that?
1008
01:07:35,219 --> 01:07:37,449
It means if Daddy breaks a leg,
then you do his part for him.
1009
01:07:37,521 --> 01:07:40,319
- So, come on, try it again.
- You're doin' good.
1010
01:07:40,391 --> 01:07:42,450
♪ I'll pound three times...
1011
01:07:42,526 --> 01:07:44,187
♪ Three times!
1012
01:07:44,261 --> 01:07:47,025
Wait, wait, wait! I'm supposed
to be the understudy now.
1013
01:07:47,097 --> 01:07:48,564
I cannot work like this.
I'm sorry.
1014
01:07:48,666 --> 01:07:51,726
- This is no way to run a show.
- You were good.
1015
01:07:51,802 --> 01:07:54,168
You can go back to waiting
in the wings, Tommy Tune.
1016
01:07:54,238 --> 01:07:56,763
I'll be doin' my own singing
henceforth.
1017
01:07:56,840 --> 01:07:59,035
- Who's Tommy Tune?
- Tommy Tune is a man
1018
01:07:59,109 --> 01:08:02,704
that you can get a chance to see
live and on Broadway
1019
01:08:02,780 --> 01:08:05,476
when we move back to New York City!
1020
01:08:07,785 --> 01:08:08,979
- What?
- What?
1021
01:08:09,053 --> 01:08:09,883
- What?
- What?
1022
01:08:09,953 --> 01:08:11,250
Yeah, what?
1023
01:08:11,321 --> 01:08:15,314
I was just on the phone with an old friend
that I worked with at Mandell Kirschner.
1024
01:08:15,392 --> 01:08:18,953
I had lunch with him and I asked him if
he'd get me an interview with his new firm.
1025
01:08:19,029 --> 01:08:22,795
Jesus, another interview, Ollie?
Come on, when are you gonna learn?
1026
01:08:22,866 --> 01:08:27,394
Well, smart guy, he just called me,
said he sat down with his boss,
1027
01:08:27,471 --> 01:08:29,666
sold me to his boss
like I was the cure for cancer.
1028
01:08:29,740 --> 01:08:33,870
It just so happens that a little spot
has opened up in their music department.
1029
01:08:33,944 --> 01:08:36,674
Boom!
After six years of being a pariah,
1030
01:08:36,747 --> 01:08:38,806
I'm gonna get back in!
1031
01:08:38,882 --> 01:08:40,577
I'm talkin' about
no more street sweeper,
1032
01:08:40,651 --> 01:08:43,119
no more picking up garbage,
and no more water main!
1033
01:08:43,187 --> 01:08:46,122
I'm talking press lines,
I'm talking about parties!
1034
01:08:46,190 --> 01:08:48,590
I'm talking about a Westside address,
1035
01:08:48,659 --> 01:08:50,752
I'm talkin' about
a good school for Gertie!
1036
01:08:50,828 --> 01:08:52,489
But I already go to a good school.
1037
01:08:52,563 --> 01:08:57,330
Yes, honey, but you're gonna go to a
way, way better school in New York City.
1038
01:08:57,401 --> 01:08:59,995
You're gonna be able to take the
subway to school. Won't that be fun?
1039
01:09:00,070 --> 01:09:02,265
But the subway's full of junkies
and mole-men.
1040
01:09:04,875 --> 01:09:07,002
- Well, they are.
- Don't listen to Pop.
1041
01:09:07,077 --> 01:09:09,102
What do I tell you?
He makes things up!
1042
01:09:09,179 --> 01:09:11,477
- You'll see. The subways are great.
- I don't wanna see.
1043
01:09:11,548 --> 01:09:15,006
I don't wanna go to a school up in the city.
I wanna go to my school.
1044
01:09:15,085 --> 01:09:17,610
Honey, it's gonna be too far of a drive
for me to come back down here
1045
01:09:17,688 --> 01:09:19,519
to take you to school
in New Jersey every morning.
1046
01:09:19,590 --> 01:09:22,525
So let's not move to the city.
Let's stay here with Pop.
1047
01:09:22,593 --> 01:09:26,529
Sweetheart, I'm too old
to be living with my father.
1048
01:09:26,597 --> 01:09:28,690
I need to get my own place.
1049
01:09:28,766 --> 01:09:31,064
And Pop... I mean, look at him,
he's a mad-dog.
1050
01:09:31,135 --> 01:09:33,797
He doesn't want us around here
getting in his way, crampin' his style...
1051
01:09:33,871 --> 01:09:37,898
- Do you, Pop?
- That's all horseshit.
1052
01:09:37,975 --> 01:09:39,465
You know... thanks, Pop.
1053
01:09:39,543 --> 01:09:42,103
I don't wanna move to the city.
I like it here.
1054
01:09:42,179 --> 01:09:44,977
Pop says you can live here
as long as you want.
1055
01:09:45,048 --> 01:09:47,676
Baby, remember when I took you
to see Sweeney Todd?
1056
01:09:47,751 --> 01:09:49,844
How much fun was that?
We had a good time, right?
1057
01:09:49,920 --> 01:09:52,787
I mean, if we move to New York City,
we can do that every night!
1058
01:09:52,856 --> 01:09:54,847
Except for the nights you're working,
of course.
1059
01:09:54,925 --> 01:09:56,893
You know what? Why don't you
shut up for a second, OK?
1060
01:09:56,960 --> 01:09:59,087
I'm trying to talk to my daughter.
1061
01:09:59,163 --> 01:10:01,563
You love New York City.
You told me you loved the city.
1062
01:10:01,632 --> 01:10:03,122
- No, I didn't.
- Oh!
1063
01:10:03,200 --> 01:10:05,191
- I said it was OK.
- Jesus Christ!
1064
01:10:05,269 --> 01:10:09,399
I said I like Highlands better. Why would
you want some other job anyway, Dad?
1065
01:10:09,473 --> 01:10:10,804
You get to ride the Batmobile!
1066
01:10:10,874 --> 01:10:13,809
Baby, Daddy doesn't wanna
drive the Batmobile!
1067
01:10:13,877 --> 01:10:16,812
Daddy wants to eat sushi!
Daddy wants to hail cabs!
1068
01:10:16,880 --> 01:10:18,973
Daddy wants to have a doorman!
1069
01:10:19,049 --> 01:10:21,574
Daddy wants to lord it
over magazine editors!
1070
01:10:21,652 --> 01:10:26,885
Daddy loved his old job, and he's missed it
every day since he's been gone.
1071
01:10:26,957 --> 01:10:30,950
Daddy wants to do that job. Daddy doesn't
wanna pick up garbage forever!
1072
01:10:31,028 --> 01:10:33,428
But you told everybody at the meeting
that your job's good
1073
01:10:33,497 --> 01:10:35,328
because you don't have to
wear a suit.
1074
01:10:35,399 --> 01:10:39,597
Yes, but Daddy was just saying that
to get them to say yes to a water main.
1075
01:10:39,670 --> 01:10:41,934
So you were just lying to everybody?
1076
01:10:43,073 --> 01:10:47,203
Look, OK, I'll tell you what.
I'll go to the meeting, all right?
1077
01:10:47,277 --> 01:10:49,768
If I don't like what the man says,
then I won't take the job.
1078
01:10:49,847 --> 01:10:51,178
Now you're lying to me!
1079
01:10:51,248 --> 01:10:53,773
All right, look, young lady! I'm gonna
go to this job interview on Monday,
1080
01:10:53,851 --> 01:10:54,977
whether you like it or not.
1081
01:10:55,052 --> 01:10:56,144
Wait, this Monday?
1082
01:10:56,220 --> 01:10:58,882
- Yes.
- Ollie, you can't go on Monday.
1083
01:10:58,956 --> 01:11:01,618
- Why?
- Because that's the day of my show!
1084
01:11:04,661 --> 01:11:09,121
Oh, shit. It is, isn't it?
1085
01:11:09,199 --> 01:11:12,691
Well, it's at four,
so I can, you know, make it back in time.
1086
01:11:12,769 --> 01:11:14,066
But my show's at five!
1087
01:11:14,137 --> 01:11:16,401
On what planet are you gonna
get back here by five
1088
01:11:16,473 --> 01:11:18,202
if you've got a meeting
in the city at four?
1089
01:11:18,275 --> 01:11:20,402
Just lay off me for a second!
I forgot about the show.
1090
01:11:20,477 --> 01:11:22,672
How could you forget?
What, are you stupid?
1091
01:11:22,746 --> 01:11:25,010
Gertie, this job
is very important to Daddy.
1092
01:11:25,082 --> 01:11:27,414
What about my show?
Isn't that important to you?
1093
01:11:27,484 --> 01:11:29,384
Yes, honey,
that's even more important to me.
1094
01:11:29,453 --> 01:11:33,253
Then don't go to your stupid meeting about
your stupid new job in the stupid city!
1095
01:11:33,323 --> 01:11:36,383
- That's enough, young lady!
- I don't even want you in the show!
1096
01:11:36,460 --> 01:11:38,223
You're not even a good
Sweeney Todd anyway.
1097
01:11:38,295 --> 01:11:41,526
Pop's way better. Even Uncle Greenie
and Uncle Block are better than you.
1098
01:11:41,598 --> 01:11:43,429
Those men are not your uncles!
1099
01:11:43,500 --> 01:11:46,264
Oh, no, but we're good enough
to build sets for her show, right?
1100
01:11:46,336 --> 01:11:48,827
Sorry, I didn't mean that.
Where are you going?
1101
01:11:48,906 --> 01:11:52,433
I don't wanna be around you! I don't even
want you to come to the show to watch it.
1102
01:11:52,509 --> 01:11:56,912
- Oh, come on!
- I don't! I don't even like you anymore!
1103
01:11:56,980 --> 01:12:00,438
Get back here, young lady!
Hey! I'm talkin' to you!
1104
01:12:00,517 --> 01:12:03,111
Hey, young lady!
Get back here, young lady!
1105
01:12:03,186 --> 01:12:05,814
No! You can't tell me what to do!
I don't have to do anything you say!
1106
01:12:05,889 --> 01:12:07,083
- Yes, you do!
- Why?
1107
01:12:07,157 --> 01:12:08,590
Because I'm your father, that's why!
1108
01:12:08,659 --> 01:12:10,786
- So what?
- Don't you yell at me, Gertrude!
1109
01:12:10,861 --> 01:12:11,885
I'll yell at you all I want!
1110
01:12:11,962 --> 01:12:14,453
Blah, blah, blah!
I'm not moving to the stupid city!
1111
01:12:14,531 --> 01:12:17,591
All right, that's it! You are moving to the city
and you're gonna like it, and that's the end.
1112
01:12:17,668 --> 01:12:20,102
I hate you!
I wish you'd died, not Mommy!
1113
01:12:20,170 --> 01:12:21,603
I hate you right back, you little shit!
1114
01:12:21,705 --> 01:12:25,607
You and your mother took my
life away and I just want it back!
1115
01:12:34,651 --> 01:12:36,676
God, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, sweetheart.
I didn't mean...
1116
01:12:36,753 --> 01:12:37,913
- Get off me!
- I'm sorry...
1117
01:12:37,988 --> 01:12:39,979
Get off of me!
1118
01:12:47,364 --> 01:12:49,958
What the hell's the matter with you?
1119
01:13:10,253 --> 01:13:13,950
♪ I took my love and I took it down
1120
01:13:16,660 --> 01:13:20,061
♪ I climbed a mountain
and I turned around
1121
01:13:21,598 --> 01:13:28,561
♪ And I saw my reflection
in the snow-covered hills
1122
01:13:28,638 --> 01:13:32,938
♪ Till the landslide brought me down
1123
01:13:34,845 --> 01:13:39,976
♪ Oh, mirror in the sky what is love?
1124
01:13:41,318 --> 01:13:47,723
♪ Can the child within my heart
rise above?
1125
01:13:47,791 --> 01:13:54,458
♪ Can I sail through
the changing ocean tides?
1126
01:13:54,531 --> 01:14:01,334
♪ Can I handle the seasons of my life?
1127
01:14:02,773 --> 01:14:06,174
♪ I don't know
1128
01:14:14,084 --> 01:14:19,852
♪ Well, I've been afraid of changing
1129
01:14:19,923 --> 01:14:25,486
♪ 'Cause I've built my life around you
1130
01:14:27,330 --> 01:14:30,731
♪ But time makes you bolder
1131
01:14:31,368 --> 01:14:34,064
♪ Children get older
1132
01:14:34,137 --> 01:14:39,200
♪ And I'm getting older too
1133
01:14:48,285 --> 01:14:50,515
- Hey.
- Hey.
1134
01:14:51,354 --> 01:14:55,120
What happened to you the other night?
You just sort of took off.
1135
01:14:55,192 --> 01:14:57,717
It looked to me like you guys
needed a little privacy.
1136
01:14:57,794 --> 01:15:00,092
What I really needed was a little backup.
1137
01:15:00,163 --> 01:15:02,996
She's a kid, Ollie.
Kids don't weather change well.
1138
01:15:03,066 --> 01:15:06,399
I mean, in a few years, you won't
be able to keep her out of Manhattan.
1139
01:15:06,470 --> 01:15:09,371
But for now,
she just wants what she knows.
1140
01:15:09,439 --> 01:15:10,428
So do I.
1141
01:15:10,507 --> 01:15:12,702
Yeah, but is that even
what you know anymore?
1142
01:15:12,776 --> 01:15:14,767
Oh, Jesus. You too?
1143
01:15:14,845 --> 01:15:18,679
You want your old life back. Big-money job,
out of your old man's house...
1144
01:15:18,748 --> 01:15:21,080
It's not like it doesn't make any sense.
1145
01:15:21,952 --> 01:15:23,351
Yeah. So?
1146
01:15:23,420 --> 01:15:26,150
That's your life that you want back,
not theirs.
1147
01:15:26,223 --> 01:15:30,182
I mean, this is their life. What you're
sort of saying to everybody who loves you
1148
01:15:30,260 --> 01:15:32,319
is that what we have
isn't good enough for you.
1149
01:15:32,395 --> 01:15:34,989
So it's just upsetting everybody,
you know?
1150
01:15:35,632 --> 01:15:38,294
- Everybody?
- Oh... What, me?
1151
01:15:38,635 --> 01:15:42,571
I mean, it's not like we've got some
big romance going on or anything.
1152
01:15:42,639 --> 01:15:44,971
We're just friends, right?
1153
01:15:45,041 --> 01:15:49,671
Did you ever wonder if...
maybe someday it might...
1154
01:15:51,014 --> 01:15:54,142
be more than that?
1155
01:15:55,252 --> 01:16:00,212
For about two seconds, before you
had me hiding in the shower from your kid.
1156
01:16:00,290 --> 01:16:02,349
Look, Ollie, I like you, but...
1157
01:16:02,425 --> 01:16:05,622
I'm not gonna be all heartbroken
'cause you're leaving town.
1158
01:16:05,695 --> 01:16:06,992
I know.
1159
01:16:07,063 --> 01:16:09,361
Even if I took this job in the city,
1160
01:16:09,432 --> 01:16:15,598
I'd still come back down here
and visit my old man. And you.
1161
01:16:15,672 --> 01:16:20,837
Why? I mean, you think I'm gonna
stick around here for much longer?
1162
01:16:20,911 --> 01:16:23,345
- Maya...
- Ollie...
1163
01:16:24,714 --> 01:16:27,547
I gotta get back to work.
1164
01:16:28,685 --> 01:16:33,122
If... if I don't...
if I don't see you at the show,
1165
01:16:33,190 --> 01:16:36,682
give me a call sometime when
you get all settled up in the big city.
1166
01:16:36,760 --> 01:16:38,125
Come on...
1167
01:16:44,534 --> 01:16:46,502
Shit.
1168
01:17:12,295 --> 01:17:14,820
♪ Now there's tears on the pillow
1169
01:17:15,532 --> 01:17:17,500
♪ Darling where we slept
1170
01:17:18,969 --> 01:17:22,564
♪ And you took my heart when you left
1171
01:17:25,108 --> 01:17:31,047
♪ Without your sweet kiss
my soul is lost, my friend
1172
01:17:31,114 --> 01:17:35,517
♪ Tell me, how do I begin again?
1173
01:17:37,387 --> 01:17:40,982
♪ My city's in ruins
1174
01:17:43,860 --> 01:17:47,626
♪ My city's in ruins
1175
01:17:51,201 --> 01:17:54,295
♪ Now with these hands
1176
01:17:54,704 --> 01:17:57,434
♪ With these hands
1177
01:17:58,074 --> 01:18:00,634
♪ With these hands
1178
01:18:01,211 --> 01:18:03,338
♪ With these hands
1179
01:18:03,413 --> 01:18:04,903
♪ I pray, Lord
1180
01:18:04,981 --> 01:18:07,609
♪ With these hands
1181
01:18:07,684 --> 01:18:10,949
- ♪ With these hands
- ♪ I pray for the strength, Lord
1182
01:18:11,021 --> 01:18:15,583
♪ With these hands
With these hands
1183
01:18:15,659 --> 01:18:18,457
♪ I pray for the faith, Lord
1184
01:18:20,797 --> 01:18:22,662
Hi, Daddy.
1185
01:18:22,732 --> 01:18:25,792
Hey, baby. I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to wake you up.
1186
01:18:25,869 --> 01:18:27,666
It's OK.
1187
01:18:27,737 --> 01:18:32,231
Listen. I'm sorry -
for yelling at you the other night.
1188
01:18:33,076 --> 01:18:38,571
I was wrong. And I didn't mean
any of the things that I said.
1189
01:18:38,648 --> 01:18:41,640
I know. Neither did I.
1190
01:18:43,987 --> 01:18:46,785
- Daddy?
- Yeah?
1191
01:18:46,856 --> 01:18:49,518
Did Mommy like living in the city?
1192
01:18:50,660 --> 01:18:54,596
Yeah, she did. She loved it.
1193
01:18:54,998 --> 01:18:57,592
Then I guess I'll love it too.
1194
01:18:58,735 --> 01:19:01,465
Thanks, sweetheart.
1195
01:19:02,305 --> 01:19:04,068
Thanks.
1196
01:19:07,243 --> 01:19:11,202
You know, I still might make it to your show
tomorrow, if the traffic's not too bad.
1197
01:19:11,281 --> 01:19:15,615
I won't be mad if you miss it.
I understand.
1198
01:19:16,553 --> 01:19:20,353
OK, sweetie. Go back to sleep.
I love you.
1199
01:19:22,926 --> 01:19:25,087
Good night, Daddy.
1200
01:19:26,963 --> 01:19:28,794
Good night.
1201
01:19:28,865 --> 01:19:32,392
- ♪ With these hands
- ♪ I pray for my strength, Lord
1202
01:19:32,469 --> 01:19:37,771
♪ With these hands
With these hands
1203
01:19:37,841 --> 01:19:40,241
♪ Come on, rise up
1204
01:19:42,078 --> 01:19:43,739
♪ Come on, rise up
1205
01:19:44,180 --> 01:19:46,978
♪ Come on, rise up
1206
01:19:47,417 --> 01:19:50,250
♪ Come on, rise up
1207
01:19:50,720 --> 01:19:53,518
♪ Come on, rise up
1208
01:19:53,890 --> 01:19:56,825
♪ Come on, rise up
1209
01:19:57,160 --> 01:20:02,962
♪ Come on, rise up
1210
01:20:04,968 --> 01:20:08,369
George Clooney's office
for Tony on line one.
1211
01:20:08,438 --> 01:20:11,373
The Angellotti Company.
One moment, please.
1212
01:20:11,441 --> 01:20:13,102
- Can I help you?
- Yes.
1213
01:20:13,176 --> 01:20:18,011
My name's Oliver Trinke and I'm here to
see Arthur Brickman and Mr. Angellotti.
1214
01:20:18,081 --> 01:20:18,911
OK.
1215
01:20:18,982 --> 01:20:21,075
Mr. Trinke is here.
1216
01:20:21,151 --> 01:20:22,743
OK, I will.
1217
01:20:22,819 --> 01:20:25,379
- They'll be about ten more minutes.
- OK.
1218
01:20:27,090 --> 01:20:30,082
- You can have a seat.
- Right, right...
1219
01:20:35,598 --> 01:20:36,895
Hello.
1220
01:20:36,966 --> 01:20:39,958
Oh, my God... Hi!
1221
01:20:40,036 --> 01:20:42,197
I'm here to see Brad.
1222
01:20:42,272 --> 01:20:44,365
Yes! He's expecting you, sir.
1223
01:20:44,441 --> 01:20:48,901
He apologizes, but he's stuck in traffic
He's just a few blocks away.
1224
01:20:48,978 --> 01:20:52,311
Why don't you just have a seat
and I'll let him know that you've arrived.
1225
01:20:52,382 --> 01:20:54,373
Thank you very much.
1226
01:21:07,330 --> 01:21:10,663
They love to keep you waiting, don't they?
1227
01:21:11,835 --> 01:21:16,465
- Excuse me?
- They love to keep you waiting.
1228
01:21:16,539 --> 01:21:19,508
Right. Yeah, yeah, they do.
1229
01:21:19,576 --> 01:21:22,602
I think they think it gives them
a psychological edge, you know?
1230
01:21:22,679 --> 01:21:25,239
Well, it's about to give 'em
the edge of my ass,
1231
01:21:25,315 --> 01:21:28,580
'cause that's all they're gonna see
when I'm walkin' out that door.
1232
01:21:28,651 --> 01:21:31,017
You know anything about these guys?
1233
01:21:31,087 --> 01:21:33,555
Only that they're the fastest-growing...
1234
01:21:33,623 --> 01:21:37,423
“...firm in the business.”
Yes, I read that article too.
1235
01:21:37,494 --> 01:21:39,655
All right, well...
You know as much as I do.
1236
01:21:39,729 --> 01:21:41,890
I guess that means
they know what they're doing.
1237
01:21:41,965 --> 01:21:46,231
I suppose. Unless these publicists hire other
publicists to get the word out for 'em.
1238
01:21:46,302 --> 01:21:49,703
Right. And then those publicists
hire their own publicists
1239
01:21:49,772 --> 01:21:53,139
to help spin the good publicity
they created for these publicists.
1240
01:21:53,209 --> 01:21:55,973
Of course, knowing publicists,
they probably hire publicists
1241
01:21:56,045 --> 01:21:57,603
to promote the fact
that they spun the publicity
1242
01:21:57,680 --> 01:22:01,446
that they hired the other publicists
to spin. So...
1243
01:22:01,518 --> 01:22:04,351
- Oh man! So what do you do?
- I'm a publicist.
1244
01:22:06,956 --> 01:22:10,653
I didn't realize I was sitting here
talking to an Angellotti man.
1245
01:22:10,727 --> 01:22:14,322
Well, to tell you the truth,
I'm not an Angellotti man.
1246
01:22:14,397 --> 01:22:16,729
At least not yet.
I'm here trying to get a job.
1247
01:22:16,799 --> 01:22:21,827
These guys have been tryin' to steal me
from my publicist since my last flick.
1248
01:22:21,905 --> 01:22:24,874
- Oh, the robot movie, right?
- Oh, yeah, you saw it?
1249
01:22:24,941 --> 01:22:27,239
I haven't gotten around to it yet.
I'm gonna...
1250
01:22:27,310 --> 01:22:29,710
Oh, yeah. Thanks a lot
for the support though, man.
1251
01:22:29,779 --> 01:22:33,681
- I wanna see it...
- You know what? It's not that good.
1252
01:22:33,750 --> 01:22:36,446
I have a kid. I don't get a chance
to get out and see movies
1253
01:22:36,519 --> 01:22:38,680
unless they have singing crabs in 'em.
1254
01:22:38,755 --> 01:22:41,451
Singing crabs? I saw that one.
That means you have a girl.
1255
01:22:41,524 --> 01:22:42,991
That's right.
1256
01:22:43,059 --> 01:22:45,118
- How old is she?
- She's seven.
1257
01:22:45,194 --> 01:22:47,754
Yeah? Cool.
I got a girl and two boys.
1258
01:22:47,830 --> 01:22:49,730
Three kids?
1259
01:22:49,799 --> 01:22:52,529
God. How do you find time
to make all those blockbusters?
1260
01:22:52,602 --> 01:22:54,126
Shoot, if I didn't have
all them damn kids,
1261
01:22:54,203 --> 01:22:56,068
I wouldn't have to
make these blockbusters.
1262
01:22:56,139 --> 01:22:57,834
Right.
1263
01:22:57,907 --> 01:22:59,898
Oh, man.
1264
01:23:00,510 --> 01:23:03,536
- It's cool, though, isn't it?
- Making blockbusters?
1265
01:23:03,613 --> 01:23:07,276
- You tell me.
- Bein' a parent, funny man.
1266
01:23:08,585 --> 01:23:11,053
It has its moments.
1267
01:23:11,120 --> 01:23:13,486
- What's your daughter's name?
- Gertrude.
1268
01:23:13,856 --> 01:23:16,416
Damn!
Why'd you do that to that girl, man?
1269
01:23:17,660 --> 01:23:19,628
- Did you lose a bet?
- No.
1270
01:23:19,696 --> 01:23:23,962
- No, it was my wife's name.
- “Was”? OK, let me guess.
1271
01:23:24,033 --> 01:23:28,402
She took you for half after she
saddled the kid with the name Gert?
1272
01:23:28,471 --> 01:23:32,066
I can't blame it on her.
I saddled the kid with the name Gert.
1273
01:23:32,141 --> 01:23:35,201
She died in childbirth. So...
1274
01:23:36,946 --> 01:23:39,710
- No, no, no, it's...
- I feel like an asshole, man.
1275
01:23:39,782 --> 01:23:43,183
- Don't worry about it.
- No, listen, I'm really sorry about that.
1276
01:23:43,252 --> 01:23:47,712
I didn't see your movie,
so we're even. Trust me.
1277
01:23:47,790 --> 01:23:51,783
This is exactly why people don't talk
to each other in waiting rooms, right?
1278
01:23:51,861 --> 01:23:54,830
Probably.
Although, I gotta tell ya...
1279
01:23:54,897 --> 01:23:59,197
the fact that the guy who wrote “Parents
Just Don't Understand” is now a parent
1280
01:23:59,268 --> 01:24:01,668
completely makes up for it.
1281
01:24:02,505 --> 01:24:04,063
Oh, man.
We don't though, do we?
1282
01:24:04,140 --> 01:24:06,335
- What's that?
- Understand.
1283
01:24:06,409 --> 01:24:10,937
I mean, these kids today. From the
door, man, they got it all over us.
1284
01:24:11,047 --> 01:24:14,813
My daughter has it all over me,
I can tell you that.
1285
01:24:14,884 --> 01:24:16,408
Yeah, my middle one, my son?
1286
01:24:16,486 --> 01:24:19,046
Every time I walk out of the house
in the morning
1287
01:24:19,122 --> 01:24:21,454
he says,
“Daddy, how far you love me?”
1288
01:24:21,524 --> 01:24:24,288
I always pick somewhere close.
“I love you to that table, man.”
1289
01:24:24,360 --> 01:24:28,694
“No, you don't. You love me all the way
to the moon and back down to the dirt.”
1290
01:24:30,166 --> 01:24:30,928
That's great.
1291
01:24:31,000 --> 01:24:34,094
It take everything I got
to walk out of that house.
1292
01:24:35,171 --> 01:24:37,230
You get to spend time with them
on the set though, right?
1293
01:24:37,306 --> 01:24:41,606
Oh, yeah. But if I was a smart man,
I wouldn't be sittin' here right now.
1294
01:24:41,678 --> 01:24:45,341
I'd be at home
playing in the dirt with my kids.
1295
01:24:47,150 --> 01:24:50,017
But we all know that I'm not famous
'cause of my brains.
1296
01:24:50,086 --> 01:24:54,955
It's 'cause I'm, like,
strikingly handsome, crazy sexy.
1297
01:24:55,024 --> 01:24:59,051
And I'm, like,
hung like it's ridiculous.
1298
01:25:00,396 --> 01:25:05,424
Oh, man! But I'm definitely not
the sharpest spoon in the shed.
1299
01:25:07,837 --> 01:25:10,362
You know...
1300
01:25:10,440 --> 01:25:13,432
- It was really nice talking to you.
- Oh, hey, you too, man.
1301
01:25:13,509 --> 01:25:16,171
- You out?
- I'm out.
1302
01:25:16,245 --> 01:25:18,179
Hey, you recommend these guys?
1303
01:25:18,247 --> 01:25:22,013
Only guy I can recommend
is named Arthur Brickman.
1304
01:25:22,085 --> 01:25:24,144
Other than that,
I can't vouch for anybody.
1305
01:25:24,220 --> 01:25:27,314
Hold on. You Brickman?
1306
01:25:28,458 --> 01:25:33,088
No. I'm just a guy who'd rather play
in the dirt with his kid.
1307
01:25:46,642 --> 01:25:49,907
- ♪ Toby!
- ♪ Coming! 'Scuse me
1308
01:25:49,979 --> 01:25:52,106
- ♪ Ale there!
- ♪ Right, mum!
1309
01:25:52,181 --> 01:25:53,170
♪ Quick now!
1310
01:25:53,249 --> 01:25:55,149
♪ God, that's good!
1311
01:25:55,218 --> 01:25:57,743
You want some rouge,
or should I just pinch your cheeks?
1312
01:25:57,820 --> 01:26:01,517
Pinch my cheeks, kids' show or not,
I'll put you through the wall.
1313
01:26:14,237 --> 01:26:18,173
I'd like to welcome everyone
to Saint Maria Goretti's
1314
01:26:18,241 --> 01:26:20,732
Student/Family Fall Pageant.
1315
01:26:24,280 --> 01:26:28,114
This is a celebration of
your children and their talents,
1316
01:26:28,184 --> 01:26:30,084
so we hope you enjoy the show.
1317
01:26:30,153 --> 01:26:35,056
Our first act is first-grader
Cynthia Bodnar and her mother Jane,
1318
01:26:35,124 --> 01:26:39,891
performing the song “Memory”
from the Broadway show Cats.
1319
01:26:45,935 --> 01:26:50,395
And now Tracy Colelli,
from Sister Ann's kindergarten class,
1320
01:26:50,473 --> 01:26:54,739
will perform with her parents
“Memory” from Cats.
1321
01:27:08,591 --> 01:27:14,791
And now, first-grader Martin Tobias
and his mother will perform...
1322
01:27:14,864 --> 01:27:17,424
Oh, boy, this is a popular song.
1323
01:27:17,500 --> 01:27:19,991
”Memory” from Cats.
1324
01:27:32,949 --> 01:27:34,974
You gotta be kidding me!
1325
01:27:51,200 --> 01:27:54,966
You couldn't make it easy on me,
could you, Gert?
1326
01:28:13,689 --> 01:28:15,919
Honey, it's gonna be OK.
1327
01:28:17,059 --> 01:28:20,551
You're next, Gertie.
Break a leg.
1328
01:28:58,467 --> 01:29:02,836
And now, we have something
not from Cats. Thank God.
1329
01:29:02,905 --> 01:29:07,069
First-grader Gertrude Trinke
and her father, Oliver...
1330
01:29:12,615 --> 01:29:15,982
- Just my grandfather.
- Oh.
1331
01:29:16,052 --> 01:29:20,614
I'm sorry. First-grader Gertrude Trinke
and her grandfather
1332
01:29:20,690 --> 01:29:23,887
will be performing
what I can only assume is a hymn,
1333
01:29:23,960 --> 01:29:29,398
entitled “God, That's Good”,
from the musical Sweeney Todd.
1334
01:29:43,479 --> 01:29:47,506
♪ Ladies and gentlemen,
may I have your attention, please?
1335
01:29:49,385 --> 01:29:51,250
♪ Are your nostrils aquiver
and tingling as well
1336
01:29:51,320 --> 01:29:54,847
♪ At that delicate,
luscious, ambrosial smell?
1337
01:29:54,924 --> 01:29:57,154
♪ Yes, they are, I can tell
1338
01:29:57,226 --> 01:30:01,526
♪ Well, ladies and gentlemen,
that aroma enriching the breeze
1339
01:30:01,597 --> 01:30:03,622
♪ Is like nothing
compared to its succulent source
1340
01:30:03,699 --> 01:30:06,691
♪ As the gourmets among you
will tell you, of course
1341
01:30:07,737 --> 01:30:12,197
♪ Ladies and gentlemen,
you can't imagine the rapture and star
1342
01:30:12,274 --> 01:30:16,040
♪ Just inside of this door
1343
01:30:18,381 --> 01:30:22,147
♪ There you'll sample
Mrs. Lovett's meat pies
1344
01:30:22,218 --> 01:30:25,847
♪ Savory and sweet pies, as you see
1345
01:30:26,288 --> 01:30:30,315
♪ You who eats pies
Mrs. Lovett's meat pies
1346
01:30:30,393 --> 01:30:33,829
♪ Conjure up the treat
pies used to be
1347
01:30:34,196 --> 01:30:37,188
- ♪ Toby!
- ♪ Coming! 'Scuse me...
1348
01:30:37,266 --> 01:30:39,131
- ♪ Ale there!
- ♪ Right, mum!
1349
01:30:39,201 --> 01:30:41,965
- ♪ Quick now!
- ♪ God, that's good!
1350
01:30:42,038 --> 01:30:43,835
♪ Nice to see you, dearie
1351
01:30:43,906 --> 01:30:46,067
♪ How have you been keeping?
1352
01:30:46,142 --> 01:30:49,634
♪ Cor, me bones is weary
Toby! One for the gentleman
1353
01:30:49,712 --> 01:30:52,909
♪ Hear the birdies cheeping?
Helps to keep it cheery
1354
01:30:53,349 --> 01:30:55,340
♪ Toby! Throw the old woman out!
1355
01:30:55,418 --> 01:30:57,079
♪ God, that's good!
1356
01:30:57,153 --> 01:31:00,714
♪ What's your budget, dearie?
No, we don't cut slices
1357
01:31:01,624 --> 01:31:03,615
Take this off.
1358
01:31:05,494 --> 01:31:08,588
♪ ...me prices
I'm a little leery
1359
01:31:08,664 --> 01:31:10,564
♪ Business couldn't be better, though
1360
01:31:10,633 --> 01:31:12,260
♪ God, that's good!
1361
01:31:12,334 --> 01:31:14,234
♪ Knock on wood
1362
01:31:14,303 --> 01:31:16,328
♪ Excuse me
1363
01:31:16,405 --> 01:31:18,236
♪ Dear, see to the customers
1364
01:31:18,307 --> 01:31:20,969
♪ Yes, what, love?
1365
01:31:29,185 --> 01:31:31,346
- ♪ Quick now!
- ♪ Me heart's a-flutter
1366
01:31:31,420 --> 01:31:33,411
- ♪ When I pound the floor...
- ♪ When you pound the floor
1367
01:31:33,489 --> 01:31:35,150
♪ It's a signal to show
that I'm ready to go
1368
01:31:35,224 --> 01:31:36,953
- ♪ When I pound the floor...
- ♪ When you pound the floor
1369
01:31:37,026 --> 01:31:39,961
- ♪ Will you trust me?
- ♪ I just want to be sure
1370
01:31:40,029 --> 01:31:44,762
♪ When I'm certain that you're in place
I'll pound three times
1371
01:31:44,967 --> 01:31:47,367
♪ Three times
1372
01:31:47,436 --> 01:31:50,098
♪ And then you!
1373
01:31:50,172 --> 01:31:52,766
♪ Three times!
1374
01:31:52,842 --> 01:31:55,072
♪ If you...
1375
01:31:55,144 --> 01:31:56,771
♪ Exactly!
1376
01:31:56,846 --> 01:31:58,575
- ♪ More hot pies!
- ♪ God!
1377
01:31:58,647 --> 01:31:59,875
- ♪ More hot!
- ♪ Right!
1378
01:31:59,949 --> 01:32:02,281
♪ More pies! More!
1379
01:32:02,351 --> 01:32:04,148
♪ Wait!
1380
01:32:15,965 --> 01:32:18,297
♪ God, that's good!
1381
01:32:30,746 --> 01:32:32,270
Shit.
1382
01:32:56,005 --> 01:32:59,236
- I love you, Daddy.
- I love you too.
1383
01:32:59,308 --> 01:33:01,299
I love you so much.
1384
01:33:01,377 --> 01:33:03,572
- You were great.
- You too.
1385
01:33:10,519 --> 01:33:12,510
You... guys...
1386
01:33:12,588 --> 01:33:15,386
were... great!
1387
01:33:17,126 --> 01:33:19,117
Oh, God!
1388
01:33:19,195 --> 01:33:21,595
Hey, Gertie!
Come dance with me.
1389
01:33:21,664 --> 01:33:25,760
- Bye, Uncle Greenie. Bye, Uncle Block.
- Bye, sweetheart.
1390
01:33:27,069 --> 01:33:29,435
- I'm startin' to like show business.
- Yeah.
1391
01:33:29,505 --> 01:33:34,533
Well, don't get caught up in the glory.
Tomorrow you're on shithouse duty.
1392
01:33:34,610 --> 01:33:39,912
You know, sometimes I just wanna...
1393
01:33:39,982 --> 01:33:43,213
I'm so tired of being your little geisha.
1394
01:33:43,285 --> 01:33:46,118
You had me worried there for a minute.
1395
01:33:46,188 --> 01:33:50,090
Yeah, who knew all those years
you were nursing a case of stage fright.
1396
01:33:50,159 --> 01:33:53,959
Not about that, smart ass.
About the other thing.
1397
01:33:54,530 --> 01:33:58,523
- About moving away.
- Come on, Dad.
1398
01:33:58,601 --> 01:34:00,660
Don't you wanna live alone again?
1399
01:34:01,604 --> 01:34:04,835
Not as much as
I don't wanna die alone.
1400
01:34:14,083 --> 01:34:16,074
We're not going anywhere, Pop.
1401
01:34:23,626 --> 01:34:25,389
You wanna go over there
and cheer up your pop?
1402
01:34:25,461 --> 01:34:29,022
He's devastated about
missing his big singing debut.
1403
01:34:29,098 --> 01:34:31,089
Aw!
1404
01:34:31,166 --> 01:34:33,361
Pop!
1405
01:34:36,205 --> 01:34:38,230
Hey, Princess!
1406
01:34:39,141 --> 01:34:42,269
Look at you.
Mr. Big Hero of the Night.
1407
01:34:42,344 --> 01:34:46,838
Yeah, well, it might take me
longer than some, but I...
1408
01:34:46,915 --> 01:34:49,247
May I?
1409
01:34:49,318 --> 01:34:51,309
OK.
1410
01:34:52,888 --> 01:34:55,914
I like to think
I come around eventually.
1411
01:34:55,991 --> 01:34:59,188
Well, you showing up
when you did like that?
1412
01:34:59,261 --> 01:35:03,163
That was just about
the most romantic thing I've ever seen.
1413
01:35:04,733 --> 01:35:07,133
Honestly.
1414
01:35:07,202 --> 01:35:10,137
Well... stick around.
1415
01:35:12,107 --> 01:35:14,598
It may get even
more romantic than that.
1416
01:35:14,677 --> 01:35:17,407
- Really?
- Yeah.
1417
01:35:20,949 --> 01:35:24,112
See? How was that for romance?
1418
01:35:27,556 --> 01:35:30,184
I'll think about it.
1419
01:35:31,994 --> 01:35:34,155
Do that.
1420
01:35:34,997 --> 01:35:37,192
Ollie Trinke...
1421
01:36:01,623 --> 01:36:02,885
Hey.
1422
01:36:03,359 --> 01:36:06,260
Your kid's cuttin' a rug with that Maya.
1423
01:36:11,734 --> 01:36:15,135
The sun even shines
on a dog's ass some days.
1424
01:36:16,138 --> 01:36:18,265
You getting a dog?
1425
01:36:24,413 --> 01:36:26,176
Maya?
1426
01:36:26,248 --> 01:36:29,649
- Can I dance with my dad now?
- If you must.
1427
01:36:29,718 --> 01:36:33,245
Don't let him go, though, Gert.
He's one of a kind.
1428
01:36:34,890 --> 01:36:36,915
I know.
1429
01:36:38,627 --> 01:36:41,221
Come here.
1430
01:36:41,296 --> 01:36:44,163
- You wanna dance?
- So, no city?
1431
01:36:44,666 --> 01:36:48,432
- No. No city.
- We're staying here with Pop?
1432
01:36:49,438 --> 01:36:52,202
God help us, yes,
we're staying with Pop.
1433
01:36:52,441 --> 01:36:57,208
- And you're taking me to see Cats?
- Oh-ho! Nice try, but no.
1434
01:36:58,647 --> 01:37:02,242
- Thank you, Daddy.
- Anything for you, Gert.
1435
01:37:03,252 --> 01:37:06,221
- You know why?
- Why?
1436
01:37:06,755 --> 01:37:09,952
'Cause you're the only thing
I was ever really good at.
1437
01:38:22,498 --> 01:38:27,162
♪ I got no time for the corner boys
1438
01:38:28,237 --> 01:38:33,174
♪ Down in the street
making all that noise
1439
01:38:34,643 --> 01:38:38,511
♪ Or the girls out on the avenue
1440
01:38:40,282 --> 01:38:46,585
♪ 'Cause tonight I wanna be with you
1441
01:38:46,655 --> 01:38:50,853
♪ Tonight I'm gonna take that ride
1442
01:38:51,927 --> 01:38:56,694
♪ Across the river to the Jersey side
1443
01:38:58,100 --> 01:39:01,729
♪ Take my baby to the carnival
1444
01:39:03,705 --> 01:39:09,735
♪ Then I'll take her on all the rides
1445
01:39:09,811 --> 01:39:15,306
♪ 'Cause down the shore
everything's all right
1446
01:39:15,384 --> 01:39:20,845
♪ You and your baby
on a Saturday night
1447
01:39:22,090 --> 01:39:25,787
♪ You know all my dreams come true
1448
01:39:27,095 --> 01:39:32,499
♪ When I'm walking
down the street with you
1449
01:39:32,568 --> 01:39:37,267
♪ Sing sha la la la la la la
1450
01:39:39,174 --> 01:39:43,304
♪ Sha la la la la la la la
1451
01:39:44,913 --> 01:39:49,111
♪ Sha la la la la la la la
1452
01:39:50,519 --> 01:39:56,822
♪ Sha la la
Well, I'm in love with a Jersey girl
1453
01:39:56,892 --> 01:40:00,953
♪ Sha la la la la la la la
1454
01:40:02,931 --> 01:40:06,731
♪ Sha la la la la la la la
1455
01:40:08,804 --> 01:40:13,571
♪ Sha la la la la la la la
1456
01:40:14,676 --> 01:40:18,612
♪ Sha la la la la la
1457
01:40:20,115 --> 01:40:25,018
♪ You know she thrills me
with all her charms
1458
01:40:26,254 --> 01:40:31,248
♪ When I'm wrapped up
in my baby's arms
1459
01:40:32,060 --> 01:40:36,019
♪ My little girl gives me everything
1460
01:40:37,799 --> 01:40:42,532
♪ I know someday
that she'll wear my ring
1461
01:40:43,438 --> 01:40:48,671
♪ So don't bother me, man,
I ain't got no time
1462
01:40:49,578 --> 01:40:55,016
♪ I'm on my way
to see that girl of mine
1463
01:40:55,817 --> 01:40:59,947
♪ 'Cause nothing matters
in this whole wide world
1464
01:41:01,523 --> 01:41:08,019
♪ When you're in love with a Jersey girl
1465
01:41:08,096 --> 01:41:12,260
♪ Sha la la la la la la
1466
01:41:13,869 --> 01:41:19,068
♪ Sha la la la la la la la la la la la
1467
01:41:19,908 --> 01:41:25,175
♪ Sha la la la la la la la
1468
01:41:25,247 --> 01:41:31,117
♪ Sha la la
Well, I'm in love with a Jersey girl121345
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