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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,044 --> 00:00:06,014 ["Move On Up" by Curtis Mayfield plays] 2 00:00:15,182 --> 00:00:17,522 ♪ Hush, now child... ♪ 3 00:00:18,435 --> 00:00:20,805 [Kevin] I mean, I'm 30,000 feet in the air, right? 4 00:00:20,812 --> 00:00:22,152 They're saying, "Kevin, come on, please. 5 00:00:22,147 --> 00:00:23,397 Kevin, you got to put on a parachute." 6 00:00:23,398 --> 00:00:24,608 Everybody's going, "Please, please Kev." 7 00:00:24,608 --> 00:00:26,568 This point, they're begging me. 8 00:00:26,568 --> 00:00:28,108 Well, tell me that the story ends 9 00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:29,611 with you wearing the parachute. 10 00:00:29,613 --> 00:00:32,453 - Absolutely fucking not. No. - [Deb laughing] 11 00:00:32,449 --> 00:00:35,039 No, no. I wanted to be authentic, right? 12 00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:36,445 - It's got to be real. - Yeah. 13 00:00:36,453 --> 00:00:37,913 You know what Tom Cruise calls parachutes? 14 00:00:37,913 --> 00:00:38,873 Diapers. 15 00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:40,372 Is that because they fill up when you're falling? 16 00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:41,924 No. Tom told me, he said, 17 00:00:41,917 --> 00:00:43,287 "Kevin, if they put me in a parachute, 18 00:00:43,293 --> 00:00:44,673 they might as well put a diaper on me 19 00:00:44,670 --> 00:00:45,710 and send me to pasture." 20 00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:47,052 Look, Kevin... 21 00:00:47,923 --> 00:00:50,013 you know, based on the success of the first one, 22 00:00:50,008 --> 00:00:52,588 we see massive franchise potential 23 00:00:52,594 --> 00:00:53,644 with The Jeffersons. 24 00:00:53,637 --> 00:00:55,347 And, you know, your agent just keeps saying 25 00:00:55,347 --> 00:00:57,467 that you might be waffling on doing a sequel. 26 00:00:57,474 --> 00:00:59,104 And I'm just here to ask, is it about the money? 27 00:00:59,101 --> 00:01:02,151 Look, Deb, The Jeffersons is amazing, right? 28 00:01:02,145 --> 00:01:04,355 We did amazing work there, but I'll be honest, 29 00:01:04,356 --> 00:01:07,476 when I walk on that set, I feel like I'm being babysat. 30 00:01:07,484 --> 00:01:10,244 I mean, they give me goddamn stunt coordinators. 31 00:01:10,237 --> 00:01:14,657 I have--I have stage managers, uh, wires, green screens. 32 00:01:14,658 --> 00:01:16,368 Yes. And-and somehow you still manage 33 00:01:16,368 --> 00:01:18,198 to jump out of an airplane without a chute. 34 00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:21,753 I wasn't telling the truth when I told you that, 35 00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:23,708 but I forgot to say I was lying, so... 36 00:01:23,709 --> 00:01:25,459 Let's take a pause, right? Put a pin in that 37 00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:27,550 so you understand that wasn't the truth. 38 00:01:27,546 --> 00:01:29,796 I had to make that up. It was pretending. 39 00:01:29,798 --> 00:01:31,218 But you know why I got to pretend? 40 00:01:31,216 --> 00:01:33,466 Because I'm not a real action star, Deb. 41 00:01:33,468 --> 00:01:35,798 Kevin, you took a sitcom about a dry cleaner 42 00:01:35,804 --> 00:01:36,854 and you turned him into 43 00:01:36,847 --> 00:01:38,557 motherfucking Jason Bourne, okay? 44 00:01:38,557 --> 00:01:40,807 You are a real action star. 45 00:01:40,809 --> 00:01:42,269 No, not yet. 46 00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:43,809 - Not yet? - [Kevin] No. 47 00:01:44,688 --> 00:01:48,358 But I will be when you fund my next project. 48 00:01:49,484 --> 00:01:50,494 Okay. 49 00:01:50,485 --> 00:01:51,775 Deb, now look, what I'm about to tell you 50 00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:53,568 is gonna seem crazy at first, but I promise you, 51 00:01:53,572 --> 00:01:55,492 if you give it a chance, you'll get it. 52 00:01:55,490 --> 00:01:56,830 Close your eyes. 53 00:01:56,825 --> 00:01:57,945 Okay. 54 00:01:57,951 --> 00:01:59,661 Deb, I want you to picture yourself 55 00:01:59,661 --> 00:02:01,001 going up a mountain. 56 00:02:00,996 --> 00:02:02,076 [glass shattering] 57 00:02:03,373 --> 00:02:04,423 [screaming] 58 00:02:04,416 --> 00:02:06,126 [man] On the ground, let's go, come on, come on! 59 00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:07,126 [grunts] 60 00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:09,127 All right, you rich assholes! 61 00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:11,299 - [gunshots] - [clamoring] 62 00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:14,128 [man] Move it! Rolexes, jewelry, 63 00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:15,594 all your fancy shit! 64 00:02:15,594 --> 00:02:18,644 What is taking so long? Put it in the bag. Let's go. 65 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:20,309 Just stay calm. Stay calm. 66 00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:22,227 [man] Everything shiny. Let's go. 67 00:02:22,226 --> 00:02:23,386 [gunshots] 68 00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:24,853 Put it in the bag. Let's go. 69 00:02:24,853 --> 00:02:25,903 [Kevin] They're coming this way. 70 00:02:25,896 --> 00:02:28,316 - [gunshots] - I don't have all day here. 71 00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:29,975 Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. 72 00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:33,402 Trying to hide, little man? 73 00:02:36,532 --> 00:02:38,202 The fuck did you just call me? 74 00:02:39,451 --> 00:02:42,081 Bet you got a big wallet for such a little man. 75 00:02:42,079 --> 00:02:43,249 Now put it in the bag! 76 00:02:46,124 --> 00:02:48,214 You want my wallet? Huh? 77 00:02:48,210 --> 00:02:49,960 Get back, I got this. 78 00:02:49,962 --> 00:02:51,262 You got what? 79 00:02:51,255 --> 00:02:53,255 [Kevin breathing heavily] 80 00:02:53,882 --> 00:02:55,842 I want your gun! [grunts] Shit. 81 00:02:55,843 --> 00:02:57,473 You believe this fucking clown? 82 00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:00,098 [both grunting] 83 00:03:00,097 --> 00:03:02,427 [Kevin] Give me your gun and sit down. 84 00:03:05,227 --> 00:03:06,557 Whoa. 85 00:03:08,856 --> 00:03:10,016 What, you're gonna be the first man in history 86 00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:11,533 to shoot somebody with the safety on? 87 00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:12,565 - What? - Huh? 88 00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:16,027 [grunting] 89 00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:23,414 [woman screaming] 90 00:03:23,412 --> 00:03:25,002 I don't like guns. 91 00:03:24,997 --> 00:03:26,117 Ah, shit. 92 00:03:26,623 --> 00:03:27,623 - [Kevin groans] - [Deb gasps] 93 00:03:27,624 --> 00:03:30,174 - [man] No, cut him out. - [gunman] Goddammit. Shit. 94 00:03:33,964 --> 00:03:34,924 [groans] 95 00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:41,259 [both groaning] 96 00:03:44,766 --> 00:03:47,226 Nice to beef you, motherfucker. 97 00:03:47,853 --> 00:03:53,613 [cheering and applause] 98 00:03:53,609 --> 00:03:56,489 Hey, it's not about me, it's about you. 99 00:03:56,486 --> 00:03:58,986 I'm glad that everybody's safe. 100 00:03:58,989 --> 00:04:00,369 It's a crazy world that we're living in. 101 00:04:00,365 --> 00:04:02,405 - A lot of nut jobs out here. - Oh, Kevin... 102 00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:05,656 Kevin, what just happened? 103 00:04:07,039 --> 00:04:09,289 Real goddamn action. 104 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:11,590 - That's what just happened. - Okay. 105 00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:13,495 Real fucking action. 106 00:04:13,504 --> 00:04:14,884 That's the adrenaline that I want 107 00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:16,550 audiences across the globe to feel, Deb. 108 00:04:17,508 --> 00:04:19,338 So this... this is... was all staged? 109 00:04:19,343 --> 00:04:21,433 Yeah. All of it, they're actors. 110 00:04:21,428 --> 00:04:22,798 I just wanna give you a little taste of what 111 00:04:22,804 --> 00:04:24,394 - our movie was about, right? - [Deb] Oh, my God. 112 00:04:24,389 --> 00:04:25,929 This is the movie that we're gonna make. 113 00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:28,603 So what I did was I brought an outline, right? 114 00:04:28,602 --> 00:04:30,402 A little rough outline to give you a little idea 115 00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:31,475 about what we're gonna do. 116 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:33,650 - [Deb] Oh, boy. - [Kevin] Right? 117 00:04:33,649 --> 00:04:37,109 The world of our movie lives in improvised action, 118 00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:38,740 and spontaneous ass-whoopings. 119 00:04:38,737 --> 00:04:39,947 That's what this is about. 120 00:04:39,947 --> 00:04:42,527 That guy spontaneously hit you with a gun. 121 00:04:42,533 --> 00:04:43,703 [Kevin] You talking about Larry? 122 00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:46,950 Larry, hey, you got me good. I'm gonna feel that one. 123 00:04:46,954 --> 00:04:47,964 Yeah, you are. 124 00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:49,960 You're goddamn right. Fucking Larry. 125 00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:52,287 You're not well. Oh, no, you're not well. 126 00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:54,002 [Kevin] This is about me getting the respect 127 00:04:54,002 --> 00:04:56,212 that I deserve as an action star, Deb. 128 00:04:56,213 --> 00:04:57,173 [Deb chuckles] 129 00:04:58,841 --> 00:05:00,721 What is it that you want me to say here? 130 00:05:01,552 --> 00:05:03,852 What do I want you to say, Deb? I want you to say, 131 00:05:03,846 --> 00:05:05,386 "I'll do it." 132 00:05:06,598 --> 00:05:08,058 My answer is no. 133 00:05:08,725 --> 00:05:10,265 Never. This-this is never going to happen. 134 00:05:10,269 --> 00:05:11,649 Not at my studio or anyone else's. 135 00:05:11,645 --> 00:05:12,645 - No. - Please. 136 00:05:12,646 --> 00:05:13,766 - No. - Can you just give it a-- 137 00:05:13,772 --> 00:05:14,902 - No, no, no, no, no. - Can you just give it a-- 138 00:05:14,898 --> 00:05:16,318 Deb, can you just... 139 00:05:17,359 --> 00:05:19,859 Can you just please give it a... give it a read? 140 00:05:19,862 --> 00:05:21,112 - [Deb] Oh. - Okay? Here. 141 00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:23,910 - [Deb chuckling] - [Kevin] There you go. 142 00:05:23,907 --> 00:05:25,117 That's all... that's all I want. 143 00:05:25,117 --> 00:05:26,197 Can you just... 144 00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:29,450 I'll read it. 145 00:05:32,082 --> 00:05:34,752 - We did it! Yeah! - [applause] 146 00:05:39,798 --> 00:05:42,378 [mouthing] 147 00:05:46,763 --> 00:05:48,563 [car horn honking] 148 00:05:52,227 --> 00:05:55,767 Hello, Mr. Green Light. She loved it, right? 149 00:05:55,772 --> 00:05:57,402 I told you she was gonna love it. 150 00:05:57,399 --> 00:05:58,319 What's the budget she gave you? 151 00:05:58,317 --> 00:06:01,697 $300 million? $400... $500 million for this? 152 00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:02,735 Just drive. 153 00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:07,986 I am so sorry. Kevin, that's not... 154 00:06:08,827 --> 00:06:10,947 That is not fair. You are a king, and this town 155 00:06:10,954 --> 00:06:12,334 doesn't deserve you. Do you hear me? 156 00:06:13,081 --> 00:06:14,751 You are a king. You are my king. 157 00:06:14,750 --> 00:06:16,960 Praise, praise. 158 00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:19,248 Wait a second. Is that her right there? 159 00:06:19,254 --> 00:06:20,964 Is that her, the one throwing away the script? 160 00:06:20,964 --> 00:06:22,134 Is that her right there? 161 00:06:22,132 --> 00:06:23,342 Excuse me, ma'am. 162 00:06:23,342 --> 00:06:24,932 Excuse me, ma'am, in the red jacket. 163 00:06:24,927 --> 00:06:26,217 How are you? 164 00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:28,640 Kevin Darnell Hart is a national treasure. 165 00:06:28,639 --> 00:06:30,679 - A national... - Just drive the car. 166 00:06:30,682 --> 00:06:31,892 [Andre] We're gonna drive the car, 167 00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:33,142 - but honestly... - [Kevin] Andre. 168 00:06:33,143 --> 00:06:34,143 ...get your shit together. 169 00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:35,104 Nice to meet you. 170 00:06:35,103 --> 00:06:37,563 - Drive the fucking car, Andre! - [car honking] 171 00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:40,034 [upbeat music playing] 172 00:06:40,025 --> 00:06:41,355 [Andre] Today is gonna be 173 00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:43,570 the most amazing day of your life. Your paper. 174 00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:45,530 You say the same thing every day, Andre, 175 00:06:45,531 --> 00:06:46,621 and every day you're wrong. 176 00:06:46,615 --> 00:06:47,525 Oh, well, come on. 177 00:06:47,533 --> 00:06:48,583 You're just cranky 178 00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:50,945 because you haven't had your tofu tahini smoothie. 179 00:06:50,953 --> 00:06:52,833 I'll get that for you right now. Sophie, his TT. 180 00:06:52,829 --> 00:06:54,039 I really hate that you call it that. 181 00:06:54,039 --> 00:06:55,079 - [Sophie] Here you go. - There we go. 182 00:06:55,082 --> 00:06:57,002 - Big gulps. There you go. - [slurping] 183 00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:59,130 [clears throat] No, I'm cranky 184 00:06:59,127 --> 00:07:01,837 because the movie of my dreams just flamed, okay? 185 00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:03,589 Now I don't know what I'm gonna do with my life. 186 00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:06,090 Well, I mean, come on, man. You still have us. 187 00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:07,593 That's amazing, right? You have us. 188 00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:08,934 The hell does that mean? Who? 189 00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:12,889 Hannah, Sophie, me, your man, TJ, right over here. 190 00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:14,021 I'm talking about your village. 191 00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:16,598 I know what you need. I know what you need. 192 00:07:16,603 --> 00:07:17,563 A massage. 193 00:07:17,563 --> 00:07:19,483 Nina, you all set up with the new hot stones? 194 00:07:19,481 --> 00:07:20,731 I can be in about ten minutes. 195 00:07:20,732 --> 00:07:22,822 She can be in about ten minutes. 196 00:07:22,818 --> 00:07:24,948 Kevin, the crew are ready whenever you are. 197 00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:26,605 Yeah, I'm ready. 198 00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:27,613 [Andre] You got this! 199 00:07:27,614 --> 00:07:29,994 [Kevin] Yeah, yeah, yeah. There you go. 200 00:07:30,868 --> 00:07:32,448 Oh, God. How you doing? 201 00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:34,252 Good, great. Kev... 202 00:07:34,246 --> 00:07:37,666 Now just pretend you're biking through the Swiss Alps. 203 00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:39,416 We'll CG the Alps in later. 204 00:07:40,210 --> 00:07:41,380 What is that? 205 00:07:41,378 --> 00:07:43,258 I'm on foot though. I need a bike, right? 206 00:07:43,255 --> 00:07:45,375 We'll CG that in too. Action! 207 00:07:48,927 --> 00:07:51,047 - [Kevin] You just want me to... - [director] Just go for it. 208 00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:52,965 Act like I'm riding a bike? 209 00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:54,977 Exactly. 210 00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:56,305 [Andre] Straight arms. 211 00:07:56,310 --> 00:07:57,640 Kevin, look at this. 212 00:07:58,520 --> 00:08:01,020 [Kevin] Hey, man, not... No. 213 00:08:01,023 --> 00:08:02,693 I can't... I can't do this shit. 214 00:08:03,567 --> 00:08:05,357 I can't. I... I cannot 215 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:08,360 do this shit anymore. 216 00:08:09,031 --> 00:08:10,741 All right, I'm tired of the CGI 217 00:08:10,741 --> 00:08:12,911 and the goddamn green screens, 218 00:08:12,910 --> 00:08:14,700 all this fake shit. 219 00:08:14,703 --> 00:08:16,293 No, uh... 220 00:08:16,288 --> 00:08:17,958 [Kevin] I want real fucking action. 221 00:08:17,956 --> 00:08:19,536 [Andre] Kevin, no. 222 00:08:19,541 --> 00:08:22,001 [paper crumbling] 223 00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:24,802 Nina, what's the ETA on those hot stones? 224 00:08:24,796 --> 00:08:26,296 [screams] 225 00:08:26,298 --> 00:08:30,258 [people screaming] 226 00:08:30,260 --> 00:08:32,510 [news reporter] It appears A-list actor Kevin Hart 227 00:08:32,513 --> 00:08:33,933 is back in the news again. 228 00:08:33,931 --> 00:08:37,391 Star of the high octane reboot of The Jeffersons, 229 00:08:37,392 --> 00:08:38,772 Hart has spent his own money 230 00:08:38,769 --> 00:08:41,689 destroying a high-end Hollywood restaurant 231 00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:43,568 in an attempt to woo a studio boss 232 00:08:43,565 --> 00:08:45,315 into financing what he refers to 233 00:08:45,317 --> 00:08:48,527 as a cinema verite-style action film. 234 00:08:48,529 --> 00:08:51,949 This comes just a year after the actor famously fired 235 00:08:51,949 --> 00:08:54,579 his longtime stuntman Doug Eubanks, 236 00:08:54,576 --> 00:08:55,866 in the middle of production. 237 00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:58,459 The decision that left insiders dumbfounded. 238 00:08:58,455 --> 00:09:01,115 - Bring me this man. - [reporter continues speaking] 239 00:09:01,124 --> 00:09:02,424 Bring me this... 240 00:09:03,627 --> 00:09:04,837 Kevin Hart. 241 00:09:04,837 --> 00:09:06,667 [ominous music playing] 242 00:09:06,672 --> 00:09:08,802 [sirens distantly] 243 00:09:08,799 --> 00:09:11,299 [Kevin] Wow. This is big, man. 244 00:09:11,301 --> 00:09:12,971 No, like, this is really big. 245 00:09:13,804 --> 00:09:14,934 Andre, I don't think you understand. 246 00:09:14,930 --> 00:09:17,680 I cast my dream out into the universe and guess what? 247 00:09:17,683 --> 00:09:19,313 Karl Stromberg comes running. 248 00:09:19,309 --> 00:09:21,229 Absolutely. Yeah, yeah. 249 00:09:22,354 --> 00:09:24,944 But I got to say, boss, I... I don't like it. 250 00:09:24,940 --> 00:09:26,860 I mean, you don't even know this guy, right? 251 00:09:26,859 --> 00:09:29,069 I tried to look him up and nothing came up on Google. 252 00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:31,239 Duh. It's because he's European. 253 00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:34,315 They got their own Google. Everybody knows that, all right? 254 00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:36,704 Listen, the guy's loaded, got tons of money. 255 00:09:36,702 --> 00:09:37,872 And if his desire 256 00:09:37,870 --> 00:09:40,160 is to make my movie, then so be it, I'm good. 257 00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:42,713 I can't do it, boss. I am so sorry. I can't do it. 258 00:09:42,708 --> 00:09:44,628 My job is to look out for your best interest, 259 00:09:44,626 --> 00:09:47,046 - and I don't really think that-- - Uh, what did you just say? 260 00:09:47,045 --> 00:09:48,165 It's my job to look out for your-- 261 00:09:48,172 --> 00:09:50,172 It is not your job. As a matter of fact, 262 00:09:50,174 --> 00:09:52,474 that's the complete opposite of your job. 263 00:09:52,467 --> 00:09:54,427 You know who looks out for me, Andre? 264 00:09:54,428 --> 00:09:58,058 Me. That's who looks out for me. Me. Okay? 265 00:09:58,056 --> 00:09:59,466 - You know what? Pull over. - What? 266 00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:00,564 Pull over. I'm driving myself. 267 00:10:00,559 --> 00:10:02,019 - I don't want you to drive. - No. Kevin, no, no, no, no, no. 268 00:10:02,019 --> 00:10:03,229 - No. - Kevin, you can't drive your... 269 00:10:03,228 --> 00:10:05,898 - Yeah, I can. I do not need you. - You need me. You need me. 270 00:10:05,898 --> 00:10:08,108 Correction... [scoffs] I don't need you. 271 00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:09,528 I didn't need my stuntman. 272 00:10:09,526 --> 00:10:10,936 I damn sure don't need an assistant 273 00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:12,954 telling me how to live my life. Pull over. 274 00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:16,116 [horn honking] 275 00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:17,656 Don't... don't hold the wheel in the middle. 276 00:10:17,659 --> 00:10:18,949 [Kevin] Shut up, Andre. 277 00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:20,252 I said shut up. 278 00:10:20,245 --> 00:10:21,615 - I'm... Yeah. - [Kevin] I know how to drive. 279 00:10:21,622 --> 00:10:22,662 We know. We all know. 280 00:10:22,664 --> 00:10:24,464 He knows how to drive a car. We know. 281 00:10:24,458 --> 00:10:27,338 But let's say you put your hand down, you pop it in D. 282 00:10:27,336 --> 00:10:29,166 - [Kevin] Pop it in first. - No, that's reverse. Whoa. 283 00:10:29,171 --> 00:10:30,801 You know what? Why don't I help you out? 284 00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:31,797 I'll get in there. 285 00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:33,628 I'll start her up. I'll roll out. 286 00:10:33,634 --> 00:10:35,144 Everybody will think it was you. 287 00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:36,045 - [Kevin] I don't want your help. - Okay, good. 288 00:10:36,053 --> 00:10:40,723 - Good, good, good, good, good. - Yeah, smooth. Very smooth. 289 00:10:40,724 --> 00:10:42,854 - You're leaving. - [Kevin] Yeah. Fuck off. 290 00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:44,351 I'll drive all the way home. 291 00:10:44,353 --> 00:10:46,153 [tires screeching] 292 00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:47,726 [sighs] 293 00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:50,935 [classical music playing] 294 00:10:50,943 --> 00:10:52,903 [sniffs] 295 00:10:52,903 --> 00:10:55,113 [exhales deeply] 296 00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:09,340 So, Karl... Karl, what is it, uh, 297 00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:11,126 what is it that you do for a living, man? 298 00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:16,176 I made my fortune mining precious metals. 299 00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:17,676 [Kevin] Mmm. 300 00:11:17,678 --> 00:11:21,558 Now I finance films, primarily in the Balkans, 301 00:11:21,557 --> 00:11:22,887 once in North Korea. 302 00:11:22,891 --> 00:11:25,351 It's probably hard to get permits over there, huh? 303 00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:27,772 Permits are for cowards. 304 00:11:28,772 --> 00:11:29,822 Your outline... 305 00:11:31,650 --> 00:11:32,690 is dangerous. 306 00:11:33,402 --> 00:11:34,402 It's violent. 307 00:11:35,070 --> 00:11:36,950 It's almost no narrative that makes sense 308 00:11:36,947 --> 00:11:38,317 to a regular human being. 309 00:11:39,575 --> 00:11:42,075 I am not a regular human being. No. 310 00:11:43,453 --> 00:11:46,333 I am Karl Stromberg. 311 00:11:46,331 --> 00:11:47,331 Yeah. 312 00:11:47,332 --> 00:11:48,712 And that is why... 313 00:11:51,461 --> 00:11:53,051 I will finance this film for you. 314 00:11:54,506 --> 00:11:55,756 What did you just say to me? 315 00:11:56,425 --> 00:11:57,965 You're telling me that you're going finance 316 00:11:57,968 --> 00:11:59,848 my goddamn movie? 317 00:11:59,845 --> 00:12:00,885 Huh? 318 00:12:00,888 --> 00:12:02,348 [Kevin chuckles] 319 00:12:02,347 --> 00:12:03,717 Dude, you just made my day, man. 320 00:12:03,724 --> 00:12:06,314 And I don't have to do my pitch, because my pitch is expensive. 321 00:12:06,310 --> 00:12:07,900 I ain't wanna break all this glass stuff in here 322 00:12:07,895 --> 00:12:09,055 because I know I got to pay for it. 323 00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:11,902 Dude, you... I was in a dark place, Karl. 324 00:12:11,899 --> 00:12:13,649 I was in a real dark place, man. 325 00:12:13,650 --> 00:12:15,860 You just pulled me out of a dark place. 326 00:12:15,861 --> 00:12:17,281 It's because people underestimate you. 327 00:12:17,279 --> 00:12:18,239 Yeah. 328 00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:20,818 When you left comedy for the action, 329 00:12:20,824 --> 00:12:22,374 they said you'd fail. 330 00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:23,287 They did? 331 00:12:23,285 --> 00:12:26,745 When you fired your stuntman to do your own stunts, 332 00:12:27,873 --> 00:12:29,793 - they said you would fail. - You heard about that? 333 00:12:29,791 --> 00:12:31,001 [Karl] Everyone heard about that. 334 00:12:31,001 --> 00:12:34,171 It's only you and Tom Cruise who do your own stunts now. 335 00:12:34,171 --> 00:12:36,261 That's... that's a fact. 336 00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:37,966 Two peas in a pod, man. 337 00:12:37,966 --> 00:12:39,466 What's going on? What you doing? 338 00:12:40,886 --> 00:12:42,006 This film, Kevin, 339 00:12:43,722 --> 00:12:44,932 will put you 340 00:12:46,016 --> 00:12:48,226 in your own category. 341 00:12:48,227 --> 00:12:49,227 [scoffs] 342 00:12:49,978 --> 00:12:51,018 One pea... 343 00:12:51,939 --> 00:12:54,019 in one pod. 344 00:12:54,024 --> 00:12:56,284 Yes, right. That's right. 345 00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:57,816 One pea, one pod. 346 00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:00,452 Hell yeah. 347 00:13:01,198 --> 00:13:02,318 That's what it's supposed to be, Karl. 348 00:13:02,324 --> 00:13:03,334 You know what, man? 349 00:13:03,325 --> 00:13:05,535 I know we just met, but I feel like I've known you 350 00:13:05,536 --> 00:13:08,116 for a long time because you get me. 351 00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:09,331 I'm so sick of this... 352 00:13:09,998 --> 00:13:12,748 this CG and this green screen shit. 353 00:13:14,253 --> 00:13:15,253 So what'd you think of the story, Karl, 354 00:13:15,254 --> 00:13:16,214 about me getting-- 355 00:13:16,213 --> 00:13:18,593 No one watches movies for the story. 356 00:13:18,590 --> 00:13:19,510 [Kevin] Yeah. 357 00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:21,430 They'll watch it for the action... 358 00:13:23,512 --> 00:13:24,472 and the nudity. 359 00:13:27,391 --> 00:13:28,601 I don't really... 360 00:13:29,434 --> 00:13:31,444 I don't really have any dick in my script. 361 00:13:32,271 --> 00:13:33,231 But if you want something, 362 00:13:33,230 --> 00:13:34,520 you feel like people wanna see dick, 363 00:13:34,523 --> 00:13:36,073 I can add some dick. 364 00:13:36,066 --> 00:13:37,726 - [Karl] Mmm. - I can... I'm... I'm not afraid 365 00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:40,404 to go full frontal. I'll do it. Right? 366 00:13:40,404 --> 00:13:41,994 If that's what the people want. 367 00:13:41,989 --> 00:13:44,119 My biggest thing though is the action, man. 368 00:13:44,116 --> 00:13:46,156 I just don't... I don't wanna see it coming, right? 369 00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:48,409 - I wanna be caught off guard. - You will shit your pants. 370 00:13:48,412 --> 00:13:49,372 What are you talking about? 371 00:13:49,371 --> 00:13:50,751 We will have to change your pants, 372 00:13:50,747 --> 00:13:52,247 forget about the old times, 373 00:13:52,249 --> 00:13:55,129 for when you shit your pants. 374 00:13:55,752 --> 00:13:57,592 [inhales sharply] 'Cause I'm scared? 375 00:13:57,588 --> 00:13:59,588 - [Karl] You will shit. - I... I will shit. 376 00:13:59,590 --> 00:14:00,880 - You will shit... - Yeah. 377 00:14:00,883 --> 00:14:02,473 - ...your pants. - I'll shit my goddamn pants. 378 00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:03,837 You will shit! 379 00:14:04,636 --> 00:14:06,556 - [Kevin] I wanna shit. - You will shit. 380 00:14:06,555 --> 00:14:08,215 - All right. I wanna shit. - You wanna shit? 381 00:14:08,223 --> 00:14:09,563 Yeah, I will shit. 382 00:14:09,558 --> 00:14:11,768 You shit your pants! 383 00:14:11,768 --> 00:14:14,438 I'm ready to shit my pants, Karl! 384 00:14:14,438 --> 00:14:17,728 I wanna shit my pants! Right now! 385 00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:21,065 When... when do we start, so I can shit? 386 00:14:21,069 --> 00:14:22,489 [Karl] We already have. 387 00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:25,163 There's a camera hidden right behind you. 388 00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:31,655 Oh... [chuckles] I think I see it. 389 00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:34,709 The little, the black, the um, space with the black, right? 390 00:14:34,708 --> 00:14:36,538 [dart shooting] 391 00:14:40,088 --> 00:14:41,298 [thuds] 392 00:14:42,466 --> 00:14:46,046 [dramatic music] 393 00:14:46,096 --> 00:14:50,646 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 28448

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