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["Move On Up"
by Curtis Mayfield plays]
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♪ Hush, now child... ♪
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[Kevin] I mean, I'm 30,000 feet
in the air, right?
4
00:00:20,812 --> 00:00:22,152
They're saying,
"Kevin, come on, please.
5
00:00:22,147 --> 00:00:23,397
Kevin, you got to
put on a parachute."
6
00:00:23,398 --> 00:00:24,608
Everybody's going,
"Please, please Kev."
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00:00:24,608 --> 00:00:26,568
This point, they're begging me.
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00:00:26,568 --> 00:00:28,108
Well, tell me that
the story ends
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00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:29,611
with you wearing the parachute.
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00:00:29,613 --> 00:00:32,453
- Absolutely fucking not. No.
- [Deb laughing]
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00:00:32,449 --> 00:00:35,039
No, no.
I wanted to be authentic, right?
12
00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:36,445
- It's got to be real.
- Yeah.
13
00:00:36,453 --> 00:00:37,913
You know what
Tom Cruise calls parachutes?
14
00:00:37,913 --> 00:00:38,873
Diapers.
15
00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:40,372
Is that because they fill up
when you're falling?
16
00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:41,924
No. Tom told me, he said,
17
00:00:41,917 --> 00:00:43,287
"Kevin, if they put me
in a parachute,
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00:00:43,293 --> 00:00:44,673
they might as well
put a diaper on me
19
00:00:44,670 --> 00:00:45,710
and send me to pasture."
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00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:47,052
Look, Kevin...
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00:00:47,923 --> 00:00:50,013
you know, based on the success
of the first one,
22
00:00:50,008 --> 00:00:52,588
we see massive
franchise potential
23
00:00:52,594 --> 00:00:53,644
with The Jeffersons.
24
00:00:53,637 --> 00:00:55,347
And, you know,
your agent just keeps saying
25
00:00:55,347 --> 00:00:57,467
that you might be waffling
on doing a sequel.
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00:00:57,474 --> 00:00:59,104
And I'm just here to ask,
is it about the money?
27
00:00:59,101 --> 00:01:02,151
Look, Deb, The Jeffersons
is amazing, right?
28
00:01:02,145 --> 00:01:04,355
We did amazing work there,
but I'll be honest,
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00:01:04,356 --> 00:01:07,476
when I walk on that set,
I feel like I'm being babysat.
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00:01:07,484 --> 00:01:10,244
I mean, they give me
goddamn stunt coordinators.
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I have--I have stage managers,
uh, wires, green screens.
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Yes. And-and somehow
you still manage
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to jump out of an airplane
without a chute.
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00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:21,753
I wasn't telling the truth
when I told you that,
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but I forgot to say
I was lying, so...
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Let's take a pause, right?
Put a pin in that
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so you understand
that wasn't the truth.
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I had to make that up.
It was pretending.
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00:01:29,798 --> 00:01:31,218
But you know why
I got to pretend?
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00:01:31,216 --> 00:01:33,466
Because I'm not
a real action star, Deb.
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00:01:33,468 --> 00:01:35,798
Kevin, you took a sitcom
about a dry cleaner
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00:01:35,804 --> 00:01:36,854
and you turned him into
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motherfucking Jason Bourne, okay?
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You are a real action star.
45
00:01:40,809 --> 00:01:42,269
No, not yet.
46
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- Not yet?
- [Kevin] No.
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But I will be when you fund
my next project.
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Okay.
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Deb, now look,
what I'm about to tell you
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is gonna seem crazy at first,
but I promise you,
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if you give it a chance,
you'll get it.
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Close your eyes.
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Okay.
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Deb, I want you to
picture yourself
55
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going up a mountain.
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00:02:00,996 --> 00:02:02,076
[glass shattering]
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00:02:03,373 --> 00:02:04,423
[screaming]
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00:02:04,416 --> 00:02:06,126
[man] On the ground, let's go,
come on, come on!
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00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:07,126
[grunts]
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00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:09,127
All right, you rich assholes!
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00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:11,299
- [gunshots]
- [clamoring]
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00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:14,128
[man] Move it! Rolexes, jewelry,
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all your fancy shit!
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What is taking so long?
Put it in the bag. Let's go.
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Just stay calm. Stay calm.
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[man] Everything shiny.
Let's go.
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[gunshots]
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Put it in the bag. Let's go.
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[Kevin] They're coming this way.
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- [gunshots]
- I don't have all day here.
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Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.
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Trying to hide, little man?
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The fuck did you just call me?
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Bet you got a big wallet
for such a little man.
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Now put it in the bag!
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You want my wallet? Huh?
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Get back, I got this.
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You got what?
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[Kevin breathing heavily]
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I want your gun! [grunts] Shit.
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You believe this fucking clown?
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[both grunting]
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[Kevin] Give me your gun
and sit down.
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00:03:05,227 --> 00:03:06,557
Whoa.
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00:03:08,856 --> 00:03:10,016
What, you're gonna be
the first man in history
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00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:11,533
to shoot somebody
with the safety on?
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- What?
- Huh?
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[grunting]
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[woman screaming]
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I don't like guns.
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Ah, shit.
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- [Kevin groans]
- [Deb gasps]
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- [man] No, cut him out.
- [gunman] Goddammit. Shit.
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00:03:33,964 --> 00:03:34,924
[groans]
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[both groaning]
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00:03:44,766 --> 00:03:47,226
Nice to beef you, motherfucker.
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[cheering and applause]
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Hey, it's not about me,
it's about you.
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I'm glad that everybody's safe.
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It's a crazy world
that we're living in.
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- A lot of nut jobs out here.
- Oh, Kevin...
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Kevin, what just happened?
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Real goddamn action.
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- That's what just happened.
- Okay.
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Real fucking action.
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That's the adrenaline
that I want
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audiences across the globe
to feel, Deb.
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So this... this is...
was all staged?
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Yeah. All of it, they're actors.
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I just wanna give you
a little taste of what
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00:04:22,804 --> 00:04:24,394
- our movie was about, right?
- [Deb] Oh, my God.
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This is the movie
that we're gonna make.
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So what I did was
I brought an outline, right?
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A little rough outline
to give you a little idea
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about what we're gonna do.
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- [Deb] Oh, boy.
- [Kevin] Right?
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The world of our movie lives
in improvised action,
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and spontaneous ass-whoopings.
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That's what this is about.
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00:04:39,947 --> 00:04:42,527
That guy spontaneously hit you
with a gun.
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00:04:42,533 --> 00:04:43,703
[Kevin] You talking about Larry?
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Larry, hey, you got me good.
I'm gonna feel that one.
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Yeah, you are.
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You're goddamn right.
Fucking Larry.
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You're not well.
Oh, no, you're not well.
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[Kevin] This is about me
getting the respect
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that I deserve
as an action star, Deb.
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00:04:56,213 --> 00:04:57,173
[Deb chuckles]
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What is it that
you want me to say here?
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00:05:01,552 --> 00:05:03,852
What do I want you to say, Deb?
I want you to say,
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"I'll do it."
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My answer is no.
133
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Never. This-this is
never going to happen.
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Not at my studio
or anyone else's.
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- No.
- Please.
136
00:05:12,646 --> 00:05:13,766
- No.
- Can you just give it a--
137
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- No, no, no, no, no.
- Can you just give it a--
138
00:05:14,898 --> 00:05:16,318
Deb, can you just...
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00:05:17,359 --> 00:05:19,859
Can you just please give it a...
give it a read?
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00:05:19,862 --> 00:05:21,112
- [Deb] Oh.
- Okay? Here.
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00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:23,910
- [Deb chuckling]
- [Kevin] There you go.
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That's all... that's all I want.
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Can you just...
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I'll read it.
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- We did it! Yeah!
- [applause]
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[mouthing]
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00:05:46,763 --> 00:05:48,563
[car horn honking]
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Hello, Mr. Green Light.
She loved it, right?
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00:05:55,772 --> 00:05:57,402
I told you
she was gonna love it.
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00:05:57,399 --> 00:05:58,319
What's the budget she gave you?
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00:05:58,317 --> 00:06:01,697
$300 million? $400...
$500 million for this?
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00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:02,735
Just drive.
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00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:07,986
I am so sorry.
Kevin, that's not...
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00:06:08,827 --> 00:06:10,947
That is not fair.
You are a king, and this town
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00:06:10,954 --> 00:06:12,334
doesn't deserve you.
Do you hear me?
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00:06:13,081 --> 00:06:14,751
You are a king. You are my king.
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00:06:14,750 --> 00:06:16,960
Praise, praise.
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00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:19,248
Wait a second.
Is that her right there?
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00:06:19,254 --> 00:06:20,964
Is that her, the one
throwing away the script?
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00:06:20,964 --> 00:06:22,134
Is that her right there?
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00:06:22,132 --> 00:06:23,342
Excuse me, ma'am.
162
00:06:23,342 --> 00:06:24,932
Excuse me, ma'am,
in the red jacket.
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00:06:24,927 --> 00:06:26,217
How are you?
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00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:28,640
Kevin Darnell Hart
is a national treasure.
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00:06:28,639 --> 00:06:30,679
- A national...
- Just drive the car.
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00:06:30,682 --> 00:06:31,892
[Andre] We're gonna
drive the car,
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00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:33,142
- but honestly...
- [Kevin] Andre.
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00:06:33,143 --> 00:06:34,143
...get your shit together.
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Nice to meet you.
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- Drive the fucking car, Andre!
- [car honking]
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[upbeat music playing]
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[Andre] Today is gonna be
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00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:43,570
the most amazing day
of your life. Your paper.
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00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:45,530
You say the same thing
every day, Andre,
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00:06:45,531 --> 00:06:46,621
and every day you're wrong.
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Oh, well, come on.
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You're just cranky
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00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:50,945
because you haven't had
your tofu tahini smoothie.
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00:06:50,953 --> 00:06:52,833
I'll get that for you right now.
Sophie, his TT.
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00:06:52,829 --> 00:06:54,039
I really hate that
you call it that.
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00:06:54,039 --> 00:06:55,079
- [Sophie] Here you go.
- There we go.
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00:06:55,082 --> 00:06:57,002
- Big gulps. There you go.
- [slurping]
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00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:59,130
[clears throat] No, I'm cranky
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00:06:59,127 --> 00:07:01,837
because the movie
of my dreams just flamed, okay?
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00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:03,589
Now I don't know
what I'm gonna do with my life.
186
00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:06,090
Well, I mean, come on, man.
You still have us.
187
00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:07,593
That's amazing, right?
You have us.
188
00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:08,934
The hell does that mean? Who?
189
00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:12,889
Hannah, Sophie, me,
your man, TJ, right over here.
190
00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:14,021
I'm talking about your village.
191
00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:16,598
I know what you need.
I know what you need.
192
00:07:16,603 --> 00:07:17,563
A massage.
193
00:07:17,563 --> 00:07:19,483
Nina, you all set up
with the new hot stones?
194
00:07:19,481 --> 00:07:20,731
I can be in about ten minutes.
195
00:07:20,732 --> 00:07:22,822
She can be in about ten minutes.
196
00:07:22,818 --> 00:07:24,948
Kevin, the crew are ready
whenever you are.
197
00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:26,605
Yeah, I'm ready.
198
00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:27,613
[Andre] You got this!
199
00:07:27,614 --> 00:07:29,994
[Kevin] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There you go.
200
00:07:30,868 --> 00:07:32,448
Oh, God. How you doing?
201
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:34,252
Good, great. Kev...
202
00:07:34,246 --> 00:07:37,666
Now just pretend you're biking
through the Swiss Alps.
203
00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:39,416
We'll CG the Alps in later.
204
00:07:40,210 --> 00:07:41,380
What is that?
205
00:07:41,378 --> 00:07:43,258
I'm on foot though.
I need a bike, right?
206
00:07:43,255 --> 00:07:45,375
We'll CG that in too. Action!
207
00:07:48,927 --> 00:07:51,047
- [Kevin] You just want me to...
- [director] Just go for it.
208
00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:52,965
Act like I'm riding a bike?
209
00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:54,977
Exactly.
210
00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:56,305
[Andre] Straight arms.
211
00:07:56,310 --> 00:07:57,640
Kevin, look at this.
212
00:07:58,520 --> 00:08:01,020
[Kevin] Hey, man, not... No.
213
00:08:01,023 --> 00:08:02,693
I can't... I can't do this shit.
214
00:08:03,567 --> 00:08:05,357
I can't. I... I cannot
215
00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:08,360
do this shit anymore.
216
00:08:09,031 --> 00:08:10,741
All right, I'm tired of the CGI
217
00:08:10,741 --> 00:08:12,911
and the goddamn green screens,
218
00:08:12,910 --> 00:08:14,700
all this fake shit.
219
00:08:14,703 --> 00:08:16,293
No, uh...
220
00:08:16,288 --> 00:08:17,958
[Kevin] I want
real fucking action.
221
00:08:17,956 --> 00:08:19,536
[Andre] Kevin, no.
222
00:08:19,541 --> 00:08:22,001
[paper crumbling]
223
00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:24,802
Nina, what's the ETA
on those hot stones?
224
00:08:24,796 --> 00:08:26,296
[screams]
225
00:08:26,298 --> 00:08:30,258
[people screaming]
226
00:08:30,260 --> 00:08:32,510
[news reporter] It appears
A-list actor Kevin Hart
227
00:08:32,513 --> 00:08:33,933
is back in the news again.
228
00:08:33,931 --> 00:08:37,391
Star of the high octane reboot
of The Jeffersons,
229
00:08:37,392 --> 00:08:38,772
Hart has spent his own money
230
00:08:38,769 --> 00:08:41,689
destroying a high-end
Hollywood restaurant
231
00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:43,568
in an attempt
to woo a studio boss
232
00:08:43,565 --> 00:08:45,315
into financing what he refers to
233
00:08:45,317 --> 00:08:48,527
as a cinema verite-style
action film.
234
00:08:48,529 --> 00:08:51,949
This comes just a year
after the actor famously fired
235
00:08:51,949 --> 00:08:54,579
his longtime stuntman
Doug Eubanks,
236
00:08:54,576 --> 00:08:55,866
in the middle of production.
237
00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:58,459
The decision that left
insiders dumbfounded.
238
00:08:58,455 --> 00:09:01,115
- Bring me this man.
- [reporter continues speaking]
239
00:09:01,124 --> 00:09:02,424
Bring me this...
240
00:09:03,627 --> 00:09:04,837
Kevin Hart.
241
00:09:04,837 --> 00:09:06,667
[ominous music playing]
242
00:09:06,672 --> 00:09:08,802
[sirens distantly]
243
00:09:08,799 --> 00:09:11,299
[Kevin] Wow. This is big, man.
244
00:09:11,301 --> 00:09:12,971
No, like, this is really big.
245
00:09:13,804 --> 00:09:14,934
Andre, I don't think
you understand.
246
00:09:14,930 --> 00:09:17,680
I cast my dream out into
the universe and guess what?
247
00:09:17,683 --> 00:09:19,313
Karl Stromberg comes running.
248
00:09:19,309 --> 00:09:21,229
Absolutely. Yeah, yeah.
249
00:09:22,354 --> 00:09:24,944
But I got to say, boss,
I... I don't like it.
250
00:09:24,940 --> 00:09:26,860
I mean, you don't even
know this guy, right?
251
00:09:26,859 --> 00:09:29,069
I tried to look him up
and nothing came up on Google.
252
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:31,239
Duh. It's because he's European.
253
00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:34,315
They got their own Google.
Everybody knows that, all right?
254
00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:36,704
Listen, the guy's loaded,
got tons of money.
255
00:09:36,702 --> 00:09:37,872
And if his desire
256
00:09:37,870 --> 00:09:40,160
is to make my movie,
then so be it, I'm good.
257
00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:42,713
I can't do it, boss.
I am so sorry. I can't do it.
258
00:09:42,708 --> 00:09:44,628
My job is to look out
for your best interest,
259
00:09:44,626 --> 00:09:47,046
- and I don't really think that--
- Uh, what did you just say?
260
00:09:47,045 --> 00:09:48,165
It's my job
to look out for your--
261
00:09:48,172 --> 00:09:50,172
It is not your job.
As a matter of fact,
262
00:09:50,174 --> 00:09:52,474
that's the complete opposite
of your job.
263
00:09:52,467 --> 00:09:54,427
You know
who looks out for me, Andre?
264
00:09:54,428 --> 00:09:58,058
Me. That's who looks out for me.
Me. Okay?
265
00:09:58,056 --> 00:09:59,466
- You know what? Pull over.
- What?
266
00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:00,564
Pull over. I'm driving myself.
267
00:10:00,559 --> 00:10:02,019
- I don't want you to drive.
- No. Kevin, no, no, no, no, no.
268
00:10:02,019 --> 00:10:03,229
- No.
- Kevin, you can't drive your...
269
00:10:03,228 --> 00:10:05,898
- Yeah, I can. I do not need you.
- You need me. You need me.
270
00:10:05,898 --> 00:10:08,108
Correction... [scoffs]
I don't need you.
271
00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:09,528
I didn't need my stuntman.
272
00:10:09,526 --> 00:10:10,936
I damn sure
don't need an assistant
273
00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:12,954
telling me how to live my life.
Pull over.
274
00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:16,116
[horn honking]
275
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:17,656
Don't... don't hold
the wheel in the middle.
276
00:10:17,659 --> 00:10:18,949
[Kevin] Shut up, Andre.
277
00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:20,252
I said shut up.
278
00:10:20,245 --> 00:10:21,615
- I'm... Yeah.
- [Kevin] I know how to drive.
279
00:10:21,622 --> 00:10:22,662
We know. We all know.
280
00:10:22,664 --> 00:10:24,464
He knows how to drive a car.
We know.
281
00:10:24,458 --> 00:10:27,338
But let's say you put your
hand down, you pop it in D.
282
00:10:27,336 --> 00:10:29,166
- [Kevin] Pop it in first.
- No, that's reverse. Whoa.
283
00:10:29,171 --> 00:10:30,801
You know what?
Why don't I help you out?
284
00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:31,797
I'll get in there.
285
00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:33,628
I'll start her up.
I'll roll out.
286
00:10:33,634 --> 00:10:35,144
Everybody will think it was you.
287
00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:36,045
- [Kevin] I don't want your help.
- Okay, good.
288
00:10:36,053 --> 00:10:40,723
- Good, good, good, good, good.
- Yeah, smooth. Very smooth.
289
00:10:40,724 --> 00:10:42,854
- You're leaving.
- [Kevin] Yeah. Fuck off.
290
00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:44,351
I'll drive all the way home.
291
00:10:44,353 --> 00:10:46,153
[tires screeching]
292
00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:47,726
[sighs]
293
00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:50,935
[classical music playing]
294
00:10:50,943 --> 00:10:52,903
[sniffs]
295
00:10:52,903 --> 00:10:55,113
[exhales deeply]
296
00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:09,340
So, Karl...
Karl, what is it, uh,
297
00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:11,126
what is it that you do
for a living, man?
298
00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:16,176
I made my fortune
mining precious metals.
299
00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:17,676
[Kevin] Mmm.
300
00:11:17,678 --> 00:11:21,558
Now I finance films,
primarily in the Balkans,
301
00:11:21,557 --> 00:11:22,887
once in North Korea.
302
00:11:22,891 --> 00:11:25,351
It's probably hard to get
permits over there, huh?
303
00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:27,772
Permits are for cowards.
304
00:11:28,772 --> 00:11:29,822
Your outline...
305
00:11:31,650 --> 00:11:32,690
is dangerous.
306
00:11:33,402 --> 00:11:34,402
It's violent.
307
00:11:35,070 --> 00:11:36,950
It's almost no narrative
that makes sense
308
00:11:36,947 --> 00:11:38,317
to a regular human being.
309
00:11:39,575 --> 00:11:42,075
I am not
a regular human being. No.
310
00:11:43,453 --> 00:11:46,333
I am Karl Stromberg.
311
00:11:46,331 --> 00:11:47,331
Yeah.
312
00:11:47,332 --> 00:11:48,712
And that is why...
313
00:11:51,461 --> 00:11:53,051
I will finance
this film for you.
314
00:11:54,506 --> 00:11:55,756
What did you just say to me?
315
00:11:56,425 --> 00:11:57,965
You're telling me
that you're going finance
316
00:11:57,968 --> 00:11:59,848
my goddamn movie?
317
00:11:59,845 --> 00:12:00,885
Huh?
318
00:12:00,888 --> 00:12:02,348
[Kevin chuckles]
319
00:12:02,347 --> 00:12:03,717
Dude, you just made my day, man.
320
00:12:03,724 --> 00:12:06,314
And I don't have to do my pitch,
because my pitch is expensive.
321
00:12:06,310 --> 00:12:07,900
I ain't wanna break
all this glass stuff in here
322
00:12:07,895 --> 00:12:09,055
because I know
I got to pay for it.
323
00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:11,902
Dude, you...
I was in a dark place, Karl.
324
00:12:11,899 --> 00:12:13,649
I was in a real dark place, man.
325
00:12:13,650 --> 00:12:15,860
You just pulled me
out of a dark place.
326
00:12:15,861 --> 00:12:17,281
It's because
people underestimate you.
327
00:12:17,279 --> 00:12:18,239
Yeah.
328
00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:20,818
When you left comedy
for the action,
329
00:12:20,824 --> 00:12:22,374
they said you'd fail.
330
00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:23,287
They did?
331
00:12:23,285 --> 00:12:26,745
When you fired your stuntman
to do your own stunts,
332
00:12:27,873 --> 00:12:29,793
- they said you would fail.
- You heard about that?
333
00:12:29,791 --> 00:12:31,001
[Karl]
Everyone heard about that.
334
00:12:31,001 --> 00:12:34,171
It's only you and Tom Cruise
who do your own stunts now.
335
00:12:34,171 --> 00:12:36,261
That's... that's a fact.
336
00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:37,966
Two peas in a pod, man.
337
00:12:37,966 --> 00:12:39,466
What's going on? What you doing?
338
00:12:40,886 --> 00:12:42,006
This film, Kevin,
339
00:12:43,722 --> 00:12:44,932
will put you
340
00:12:46,016 --> 00:12:48,226
in your own category.
341
00:12:48,227 --> 00:12:49,227
[scoffs]
342
00:12:49,978 --> 00:12:51,018
One pea...
343
00:12:51,939 --> 00:12:54,019
in one pod.
344
00:12:54,024 --> 00:12:56,284
Yes, right. That's right.
345
00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:57,816
One pea, one pod.
346
00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:00,452
Hell yeah.
347
00:13:01,198 --> 00:13:02,318
That's what
it's supposed to be, Karl.
348
00:13:02,324 --> 00:13:03,334
You know what, man?
349
00:13:03,325 --> 00:13:05,535
I know we just met,
but I feel like I've known you
350
00:13:05,536 --> 00:13:08,116
for a long time
because you get me.
351
00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:09,331
I'm so sick of this...
352
00:13:09,998 --> 00:13:12,748
this CG
and this green screen shit.
353
00:13:14,253 --> 00:13:15,253
So what'd you think of
the story, Karl,
354
00:13:15,254 --> 00:13:16,214
about me getting--
355
00:13:16,213 --> 00:13:18,593
No one watches movies
for the story.
356
00:13:18,590 --> 00:13:19,510
[Kevin] Yeah.
357
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:21,430
They'll watch it
for the action...
358
00:13:23,512 --> 00:13:24,472
and the nudity.
359
00:13:27,391 --> 00:13:28,601
I don't really...
360
00:13:29,434 --> 00:13:31,444
I don't really
have any dick in my script.
361
00:13:32,271 --> 00:13:33,231
But if you want something,
362
00:13:33,230 --> 00:13:34,520
you feel like
people wanna see dick,
363
00:13:34,523 --> 00:13:36,073
I can add some dick.
364
00:13:36,066 --> 00:13:37,726
- [Karl] Mmm.
- I can... I'm... I'm not afraid
365
00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:40,404
to go full frontal.
I'll do it. Right?
366
00:13:40,404 --> 00:13:41,994
If that's what the people want.
367
00:13:41,989 --> 00:13:44,119
My biggest thing though
is the action, man.
368
00:13:44,116 --> 00:13:46,156
I just don't... I don't wanna
see it coming, right?
369
00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:48,409
- I wanna be caught off guard.
- You will shit your pants.
370
00:13:48,412 --> 00:13:49,372
What are you talking about?
371
00:13:49,371 --> 00:13:50,751
We will have to
change your pants,
372
00:13:50,747 --> 00:13:52,247
forget about the old times,
373
00:13:52,249 --> 00:13:55,129
for when you shit your pants.
374
00:13:55,752 --> 00:13:57,592
[inhales sharply]
'Cause I'm scared?
375
00:13:57,588 --> 00:13:59,588
- [Karl] You will shit.
- I... I will shit.
376
00:13:59,590 --> 00:14:00,880
- You will shit...
- Yeah.
377
00:14:00,883 --> 00:14:02,473
- ...your pants.
- I'll shit my goddamn pants.
378
00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:03,837
You will shit!
379
00:14:04,636 --> 00:14:06,556
- [Kevin] I wanna shit.
- You will shit.
380
00:14:06,555 --> 00:14:08,215
- All right. I wanna shit.
- You wanna shit?
381
00:14:08,223 --> 00:14:09,563
Yeah, I will shit.
382
00:14:09,558 --> 00:14:11,768
You shit your pants!
383
00:14:11,768 --> 00:14:14,438
I'm ready
to shit my pants, Karl!
384
00:14:14,438 --> 00:14:17,728
I wanna shit my pants!
Right now!
385
00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:21,065
When... when do we start,
so I can shit?
386
00:14:21,069 --> 00:14:22,489
[Karl] We already have.
387
00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:25,163
There's a camera
hidden right behind you.
388
00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:31,655
Oh... [chuckles]
I think I see it.
389
00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:34,709
The little, the black, the um,
space with the black, right?
390
00:14:34,708 --> 00:14:36,538
[dart shooting]
391
00:14:40,088 --> 00:14:41,298
[thuds]
392
00:14:42,466 --> 00:14:46,046
[dramatic music]
393
00:14:46,096 --> 00:14:50,646
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