All language subtitles for Champions.2023.720p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

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♪ ♪

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♪ ♪

ANNOUNCER:
Tight game here

halfway through
the fourth quarter-- two points.

Need a defensive stop.
Carlson cuts to the middle.

Pick-and-roll,
alley-oop, slam dunk.

Wow. What a play.

That was easy. Beautiful pass...

(audio rewinding)

...halfway through
the fourth quarter-- two points.

Need a defensive stop.
Carlson cuts to the middle.

-Pick-and-roll, alley-oop,
slam dunk. -(water running)

Wow. What a play. That was easy.

Beautiful pass
from Carlson to Carriere.

-(tablet beeps)
-(water stops)

Do you know that you don't have
any soap in your bathroom?

Oh, yeah, I got to pick some up.

Do you want me to...
call you an Uber?

No, I'm good.

Lyft?

No, I drove myself.
I'm on my way out.

Ah.

You-you need something?

Just these.

-Oh.
-(tablet beeps)

-Oh, you like basketball?
-(video resumes playing)

It's my job. I'm a coach.

Oh, really? What, high school?

Professional.

In Des Moines?

Iowa Stallions, J League.

J League?

Wow. So only like
four or five big promotions

and you're all the way up
in the B League.

That's good.

-(video stops)
-Truth be told,

I should be coaching in the NBA.

Then why aren't you?

Because there's a lot of,
uh, politics involved and--

Well, don't worry, darling.
I... I will be soon enough.

"Darlin'"? Okay.

Hey. That was fun.

I, uh...
I think you're a great gal.

(laughs)

-What?
-Nothing.

You just-- you seem to think

that I need some hand-holding
here, and I'm good.

This is not my first time
swiping right.

Apparently.

Oh, no.
Did I hurt your feelings?

-I'm trying to be
a nice guy here. -You are?

Why are you being
such an asshole?

You're focused on SportsCenter,
calling me "darling,"

-and yet I'm the a...
-It's not SportsCenter.

I have a big game tonight.

I should've known I was in for
a real meeting of the minds

when I saw you only had
one book in your apartment.

I actually have many books.

They're in storage.
I-I tend to travel light.

And it's called
Visualize Success.

-Powerful stuff.
-Hey.

Don't knock visualization.

-That stuff works.
-Yeah?

Did you visualize this?

No, I, uh, I visualized
you leaving a lot earlier.

(door opens)

-Did you hear that?
-Wow, what a zinger.

(door closes)

(arena horn blows)

-(whistle blows)
-(crowd cheering)

PERRETTI: All right, guys,
keep it moving! Let's go!

MARCUS:
Get it down! Get it down there!

You got to make that!

Ross, rotate! Rotate!

Hey, remind me why our
leading scorer's on the bench.

Get your man!
Come on! Move the ball!

All right, now, ge--
Timmy, box him out!

Keep it moving! Defense!

MARCUS:
That's his second turnover.

(crowd groaning)

How many times
you gonna turn the ball over

before we sit his ass down?

(whistle blows)

PERRETTI:
Move!

-Uh, put Derrick in for Moran.
-Post up!

He doesn't listen to me.

Are we trying to lose this game?

I don't believe so.

PERRETTI:
Trap! Trap! Trap!

Why are we doubling
on the perimeter?

They're passing out of it,
killing us three-on-two.

I want them to figure out
how to defend the three on two.

Yeah, well, they're not--
Rotate, damn it!

-CROWD (chanting): Defense!
-Marcus.

-Defense!
-Have a seat.

-Defense! Defense!
-(rhythmic clapping)

PERRETTI:
Rotate!

CROWD:
Defense! Defense!

-(crowd cheers, whistle blows)
-PERRETTI: Time-out! Time-out!

Time-out!

-(arena horn blows)
-Okay, guys. Bring it in.

Bring it in. Come on.

ARENA ANNOUNCER: Don't forget,
Friday night is Kids' Night.

We're running side-out-down.

Inbound to Mike.
Timmy sets the screen.

Jared, go in for the slam dunk.

-Okay?
-No, not okay.

-What?
-That's a terrible call, Phil.

Marcus, it's my team.
You're my assistant.

But I-I can get us
a better shot.

I know how they defend
this situation.

I watched it this morning.
We still inbound to Mike.

Derrick, we're gonna run
the split action with you.

Marcus. Marcus!
Go to the locker room.

And let you blow
this possession? Hell no.

-We inbound... -Okay, okay.
That's it. That's it.

Get off the court. Go on.
Get off the court.

-Okay, I'm going.
-(grunts)

-(crowd shouting, booing)
-(cameras clicking)

(shouting and booing
grows louder)

All right. Okay, come on.

We got a game to win, all right?

You know, Jalen, we don't show

a lot of J League highlights
on this show.

Maybe we should.
It's the gateway to the NBA.

It's full of freak athletes
making great plays.

Yes, sir. They got
some springy dudes down there.

Remember Marcus Marakovich?
Great young coach.

Took Abilene Christian
to the Elite Eight.

I remember.
Then he got the Ohio State job.

Right. And then
he lost the Ohio State job

for losing it
on one of his players.

He bounced around
internationally for a while.

Now he's an assistant coach
for the Iowa Stallions.

Now, he didn't like
what the head coach drew up,

and, look,
he goes all WWE on his boss.

-Uh...
-No. Uh-oh.

-Want me to turn it off?
-(crowd booing over TV)

Mm, no. Turn it up.

After all that nonsense,

there's still six seconds
of basketball to be played,

and this is where
we want to see the team

rally around a coach,
execute the play, buzzer beater.

Instead...

Oh! Get that shot out of here!

You had me going, SVP.

I thought this story
had a nice ending.

That wasn't nice.

No, the block was nice,
but right now, no,

nothing but bad news
for the Iowa Stallions

and Marcus Marakovich.

(groans) Turn it off.

("Whiskey River"
by Willie Nelson playing)

See? I told him
that play was horseshit.

♪ Whiskey River,
take my mind... ♪

(song continues over car stereo)

(phone chimes)

SONNY (recorded): Yo, Marcus.
You made SportsCenter.

That's pretty cool.

What an idiot.

You're an idiot.

-(horns blaring)
-(tires squealing)

Relax.

Take a chill pill. I saw you.

(chuckles)

Poor bastards.

-(car crashes)
-(music stops)

Hey, thanks, man!

Ah, shit.

(camera clicking)

♪ ♪

(snoring)

(door buzzes)

OFFICER:
Marakovich?

Let's go. You posted.

-(quiet chatter)
-(phones ringing)

(chuckles softly)

Huh. You were the last person
I expected to see, Phil.

We go back too far, Marcus.

You know what a meme is?

You're a meme now.

My granddaughter
sent this to me.

She's been sharing
with all her little friends.

MALE VOICE (over phone):
Finish him!

MARCUS:
Oh. At least it's pretty funny.

No. It's not.

It's not funny.

All right. Okay.

I-I messed up, obviously,

and I... I'm sorry.

-You don't sound sorry.
-Well, I am sorry.

I mean, I'm not entirely sorry.

I mean, should I apologize

for wanting to win
a basketball game?

By knocking me on my ass?

Look, I... I'm frustrated
because you never listen to me.

I told you
that lob play was dumb.

If you'd have run
the split action with Derrick...

Do you know why I didn't run
the play with Derrick?

(stammers) A misdirection maybe,

but at least use him
as a decoy and...

His grandmother
is in the hospital.

She had a stroke.

Mm. Okay.

Well, I mean, she's old, right?

It shouldn't matter, Marcus!
The woman raised him.

Look, he was upset.
His head wasn't in the game.

But you wouldn't know that

because you don't bother
to get to know any of the guys.

What do you mean?
I know the guys.

I-I know
Jinky can't go to his left,

Balanko is
strictly catch and shoot...

As people! Human beings.

Look, Marcus, you know the game

better than anybody I have ever
played or coached with, but...

(scoffs)

...you got to learn
to build relationships, man.

(laughs):
Okay.

That-that is so adorable.

(stammers) What, are we living
in Hoosiers now,

and I should go home and work on

my inspirational
locker room speeches?

You were a prick in college,
and you haven't changed.

That's why
you never stick anywhere.

Ohio State. Greece. Turkey.

Oh, now, Turkey,
that was strictly

a language barrier issue.

You literally kicked a player
in his behind,

bruised his coccyx.

And he spoke English.
The kid was from Detroit.

I get your point, okay?

I'm gonna take the time,

-and I'm gonna cultivate
relationships... -No. No.

-No, I'll get to...
-Marcus.

You're fired.

It came down
from the front office.

♪ ♪

McGURK (mispronounces):
Marcus Marakovich?

Uh, Marakovich.

Attorney Charlie McGurk.
I'm gonna be representing you.

Oh, good.

So am I in a lot of trouble?

-Not with me in your corner
you're not. -(chuckles)

Okay? You relax.

I do ten
of these DUI cases a day,

(mispronounces):
Mr. Marakovich.

This is gonna be quick
and hopefully painless.

Okay? You let me do my thing.

We get you out of here
with a fine and...

(groans) Fist me!

-What?
-(sighs)

The judge.

We got Mary Menendez.
"Hanging Mary."

"Hanging Mary"?

She's the toughest judge
in Des Moines.

She's a real stickler.

And she does not like
drunk drivers.

Oh, son of a bitch.

Whoa, whoa. No boo-boo words.

Okay? There's no swearing of any
kind in Menendez's courtroom.

Just let me do
the talking, okay?

Unless you're addressed
directly by the judge,

-don't say a word.
-Okay.

And try to look pathetic.

Yeah, there you go.
That's perfect.

Can you fake a limp?

I'm not doing that.

Okay, I'm gonna ask you this,
and I need you to be honest.

Are you drunk right now?

No, I'm not drunk.

(chuckles): Okay, good,
'cause I've had several.

One of us needs to be straight.

Get your game face on.

Driving with
a blood-alcohol level

three times the legal limit,

damaging a police vehicle,
resisting arrest.

No. Uh, I just, uh, asked
for their badge numbers.

I didn't resist.

Ow!

I told you
to let me do the talking.

You just smacked me.
I'm just telling the truth.

-(quietly): Dickweed.
-Boo-boo word.

Mr. Marakovich,
would you like me

to add contempt of court
to the list?

Because it seems to me
you have enough charges as is.

No, Judge, that's plenty.

It's "Your Honor."

Your Honor. Sorry.

I'm gonna make you an offer,
Mr. Marakovich.

Now, I understand you are
a professional basketball coach.

Is that correct?

-Uh, yes, Your Honor.
-Okay.

In light of that information,

I will offer you
community service:

coaching at a local rec center.

Community service?
I-- No, I can't...

-Uh, a moment to confer,
Your Honor. -Yes.

(whispering): Just shut up,
you lucky son of a bitch.

(whispering):
I'm not feeling lucky.

She said community service.

-That's the ju...
-But community service?

I need to be in other cities
wh-where I'm gonna be working.

-(sighs)
-I can't stay in Des Moines.

I-I can't take
community service.

Oh. You can't take
community service? Okay.

So, uh,
with that in mind, then...

...you are hereby sentenced
to serve

18 months incarceration
in prison.

Time to be served at...

Uh, uh, I-I-I do apologize,
uh, Your Honor.

I think there's some kind of
misapprehension here because

-we were talking about...
I said... -Hmm?

We both were talking when you
said, "Take community service."

I don't... I don't want
to take comm--

I want to give to the community.

I want to give freely.

I'm all ears.
Wh-What did you have in mind?

Good decision, Mr. Marakovich.

As I was saying,

I will offer you
90 days' community service,

coaching adults
with intellectual disabilities

at The Friends Association
in Capitol East.

Um, Your Honor?

Uh, when you say
"intellectual disabilities,"

what are we talking here?

-Uh...
-Yes?

-Are we talking retar...
-Oh.

-...ded Americans?
-(clears throat)

Because, y-you know,
it seems kind of redundant

that, you know, in a sense,
Americans, we are re--

you know, we're-we're those--

I-I'm talking about myself,
too, you know? I'm a...

Your Honor, I just have
to state for the record,

I literally just met
"What's His Pickle" here

20 minutes ago. Okay?

I don't think his words should
reflect on me going forward,

future hearings.

MARCUS:
No, I-I just-- I-I want to say

the right thing,
but I don't know--

If I can't say the "R" word,
what-what do I, uh, call them?

May I suggest you call them
by their names?

That's, uh... that's very
astute, Your Honor. (sniffs)

♪ ♪

-Come on.
-(indistinct chatter)

(whistle blows)

MARCUS:
Gentlemen!

Can you come this way?

♪ ♪

Okay. Right. Yeah, come on up.

♪ ♪

Okay, fellas,
my name is Marcus Marakovich,

and I am going to be
your basketball coach

for the next three months.

-Nope.
-(chuckling)

Wait. What?

I said, "Nope."

Is this something
he normally does?

Nope.

That's Darius.
He's our best player.

I'm Johnny.

I'm your homey
with an extra chromey.

(grunts):
Whoa.

I love animals.

My sister's an actress.
My dog's name is Peaches.

Johnny, that-that is
one funky musk

you got going there, brother.

What do you say we end this hug
right about now?

Okay.

Wow.

Whew. Okay.

My eyes are watering.

Let's, uh, let's take a knee.

Coach, I didn't know
we'd be kneeling,

so I didn't wear my knee pads,

and I'm worried about
my patella.

Your patella?
Okay, well, you can stand.

-Thanks.
-That's Marlon.

He speaks Mandarin Chinese.

(speaks Mandarin)

Huh.

That's Benny.

-He works in the best
restaurant in town. -O-Okay.

Uh, there's plenty of time
to get acquainted later, Johnny,

but for now, let's everybody,
uh, partner up.

Uh, Coach?
I don't need a partner.

I've got a girlfriend.

Wonderful.

Actually, I got two.

No, you don't.

It's the same girl.
She just changes her hair.

And she knows how to get around.

(laughing):
Oh, now, now. Whoa. Whoa.

-Take it easy.
-(laughter)

CRAIG:
So what?

Why can't she have
a lot of boyfriends?

I've got two girlfriends.

-No, you don't.
-(laughter)

They're best friends.

They live in a group home.
I'm gonna live there, too.

Okay, Johnny.

Um... I'll tell you what.

Let's everybody stand up.

We're gonna do a little drill.

Uh, you guys, uh,
Snap, Crackle and Pop...

(laughter)

Snap, Crackle and Pop!
That's not their names!

Yeah, I'm Craig. This is Cody.

-I'm Blair.
-MARCUS: Okay.

Craig, Cody, Blair,
we're going to do

a simple ball-handling exercise.

Uh, my girlfriend loves those.

Oh, my God.

Can you just forget
your girlfriend for a minute?

You can play with her later.

We don't play. We have sex.

I go to her place, and we do it.

-All the sex moves.
-Mm-hmm.

(chuckles)

Okay.

Watch, Coach.

Big balls. Yeah.

What's that guy's deal?

-Showtime? He's a specialist.
-A specialist?

Yeah, he's the only player
in the league

who shoots backwards from half
court, and he's on our team.

Pretty good shot, huh, Coach?

No, that's a terrible shot.

Now, that's a good shot.

Looking good there, Darius.

Nope. I'm not playing for you.

(sighs heavily)

(laughing)

-(Julio sniffs)
-(Marcus sighs)

This is impossible.

Hey, don't worry about it.

You'll have them all done
before you know it.

No, no,
I-I'm talking about the team.

It-It's impossible
to coach these guys.

You know,
impossible is not a fact.

It's an opinion.

Please don't quote
cat posters to me.

Look, Marcus, they're
Special Olympics athletes.

You don't have to turn them
into the Lakers.

They just need
to feel like a team.

You know, I snuck
a couple peeks in there today.

It looks like
you were doing good.

Doing good?

I-I didn't coach any basketball.

I was mostly hearing about
Craig's girlfriend.

Uh-huh. Huh. I hear he has two.

Well, it's not clear.

You know, the one guy
who can actually play

won't play for me.

Yeah, Darius.

Ah, you know what?

I... I don't, I don't care.

I-I just...

(sighs)

By the way,
what-what happened to the guy

who was coaching before me?

Oh, we don't talk about him.

They kill him?

No.

(chuckles):
No, no.

He quit before
the season was over.

The team was very upset.

(sighs) Right.

But we won't have
that problem with you

because we've got you
for 90 days.

Guaranteed.

Yeah.

90 days.

Very psyched.

("My Way Home"
by Citizen Cope playing)

♪ Sometimes I miss a step ♪

♪ I stumble here and there ♪

♪ I'm finding my way home ♪

♪ If I'm lost... ♪

Hi, Coach!

(song fades)

Johnny, right?

Do you have a guinea pig?

No.

I do. Do you want a ride?

Who's driving?
Not your guinea pig, I hope.

(chuckles) Honeybun can't drive.

Come on.

All right.

(grunts)

Thanks for the lift.
Kind of chilly out there.

I'm freezing my balls off.

This is my sister, Alex.

She's my best friend.

Ah. Well, nice to meet you, Al--

Oh! (chuckles nervously)

-What's the matter?
-What's the matter?

No, n-nothing.

No. No, i-it's-- she--

your, uh-- she... (chuckles)

Sh-She looks a lot like
someone I used to know.

-(chuckles)
-Do I? Huh. Well...

It's very nice to meet you
for the first time, Coach.

Yeah. (stammers) Marcus.

Marcus. Wow, that's really
a nice name, Marcus.

Hey, listen, Marcus,
you coach The Friends?

-Is that what I'm hearing?
-Uh, yep.

Yep, I, uh...

(chuckles)
Kind of a funny story, really.

Yeah? Tell me.

Yeah, well, I mean, it's...

(Marcus stammers)

It's not "ha ha" funny.

It's not even-- It's not funny.

It didn't seem like it was
going anywhere funny.

-(Marcus and Alex chuckle)
-Coach, do you want to do

carpool karaoke with us?

Uh, no. You know what?

I-I don't like carpool kara--
I don't like karaoke...

♪ I get knocked down,
and I get up again ♪

♪ You're never gonna
keep me down ♪

♪ I get knocked down,
and I get up again ♪

♪ You're never gonna
keep me down ♪

♪ Oh, Danny Boy ♪

♪ Danny Boy, Danny Boy ♪

♪ I get knocked down,
but I get up again ♪

♪ You're never gonna
keep me down ♪

♪ I get knocked down,
but I get up again ♪

("Tubthumping"
by Chumbawamba playing)

♪ You're never gonna
keep me down ♪

♪ I get knocked down,
but I get up again ♪

♪ You're never gonna
keep me down ♪

♪ I get knocked down,
but I get up again ♪

♪ You're never gonna
keep me down. ♪

Sorry you got fired, man.

-That sucks.
-Yeah.

But at least
we're finally hanging out.

You got a great place here.

Yep.

Uh, hey, by the way,

(clears throat)
let me ask you something.

-I cannot stay out
the entire season. -Mm-mm.

And I've been working
my, uh, connections,

but it occurs to me that

your uncle is one of the most
respected GMs in basketball.

And is it possible you could
talk to him and help me out?

Absolutely.

(chuckles):
Yeah?

-Yeah.
-Oh.

(stammers) But I don't want it
to be, you know, minor league.

-I-I want it to be the NBA.
-Yeah.

You know, fifth assistant,
uh, player development,

whatever it is, NBA.

Gotcha. I'm on it.

-Yeah?
-Yeah.

I knew it. I knew it.

-You're the man.
-You're the man.

-No, you're the man.
-No.

Sir, you are the man.

All right, I am the man.

-You're right.
-(laughs)

Hey, you know what?

After I talk to my uncle,
we should go out.

Hit the clurb.
Get crunk. Get crazy.

-(chuckles)
-And I'll give you the update.

Listen.

I got an idea.

Text me.

Lunch, then.

Okay, guys,
today we're gonna work on

the fundamentals of passing.

Arthur, come over here,
help me out.

All right? Now, we're gonna
start with the bounce pass.

You ready?

Okay, you see that?

Thumbs behind the ball,
flick of the wrist, bounce pass.

Right? Got it?

Okay, throw it
back to me, Arthur.

Good. Good.

Now we're going to do
the chest pass.

Same thing, no bounce.

Got it? Nice.

Hey, Coach, your shoe's untied.

-Made you look.
-(laughter)

Oh, that's very funny. Yeah.

(grunts)

(laughter continues)

Arthur, what the hell?

Sorry, Coach.

Uh, wasn't I supposed
to toss it back to you?

Yeah, but the guy
has to be ready.

-That's a crucial part
of this... -(phone ringing)

Uh...

Oh, all right. Uh, hang on.

You guys, uh, shoot around
a little bit.

I'll be right back.

-Ball, ball, ball.
-MARCUS: Kenny.

How you doing, buddy?

How's everything going
in, uh, Seattle?

Yeah? Oh--

Hey! What the hell?!

Yeah, no, I'm okay.
I'll call you right back.

Guys, what are you doing?

Shooting around.

-Big balls.
-What am I looking at here?

Big balls celebration,

like when an NBA player
hits a big shot.

Big balls.

Oh, but you got to hit
the shot, right?

I mean, you don't celebrate
a miss.

Showtime does.
He knows all the celebrations.

He's a student of the game.

Aha.

Watch this.

Do shimmies. Steph Curry.

Look at that.

Aha.

(laughing)

That is outstanding.

Hey, uh...

has he ever actually hit
one of those backward shots?

In the five years
I've played with him,

he's never even hit the rim,
but he's due.

-Huh.
-Mm-hmm.

Huh, pretty impressive.

Hey.

Sounded like
you guys were having fun

-out there today, huh?
-Yeah. Yeah.

Well, Arthur gave me
a concussion,

but, uh, yeah,
other than that, pretty fun.

Oh. Well, we don't have
any insurance,

so I never heard that.

(laughing)

Bye, Julio.
See you Thursday, Coach.

Okay, Benny.

You be good.

Please tell me
he's not gonna ride that thing.

JULIO:
Well, sure.

I mean, he lives
all the way across town,

so he comes back and forth
on that scooter every day.

MARCUS: I mean, he's gonna
kill himself. All that ice.

Well, as far as I know, he's
never had a single accident.

Uh, can you say the same?

Touché.

These guys are capable
of a lot more than you think.

You'd be surprised.

(alarm beeping, stops)

JULIO:
Like Benny, for instance.

He lives on his own.

And he wakes up at 5:00 a.m.
every morning

and works in a restaurant
in the kitchen.

(busy chatter)

Now, Blair is not
as self-sufficient.

I mean, he lives in
a supervised group home

with some of the other guys.

And every morning,
he goes to a gardening workshop.

♪ I-I-I-I wanna run
the world, I-I-I-I... ♪

-I mean, they all live
pretty full lives. -Hmm.

JULIO: Now, some have
serious disabilities,

and others, well, not so much.

Sometimes it's genetic

or something went sideways
during childbirth,

an infection or--

-We all have something, right?
-(doorbell rings)

Bye, Coach. Bye, Julio.

Bye. You be good tonight.

JULIO:
Now, Johnny, uh,

-works at an animal shelter.
-(dogs barking)

I mean, he loves animals,
all animals.

I guess that explains
that zoo-like aroma.

Yeah. He also refuses to shower.

-So there's that.
-Oh.

Good evening, Coach.

-Thank you so much
for everything. -Mm.

Buenas noches, señor Julio.

Hasta pronto. Hasta mañana.

Arrivederci. Uh, sayonara.

Does he actually speak Spanish?

Yeah. He speaks four languages.

-Oh. -(speaks Spanish)
-(jet engine passing overhead)

Oh, dear. The 2:45 flight
from O'Hare to Portland is late.

How the hell does he know that?
That-That's not normal.

There must be
some chaos up there.

Hey, Coach,
check out these handles.

(scatting music)

Ah. Now that's some
musical basketball right there.

Rockin'.

Be good.

What's his story?

JULIO: Well, Craig,
he works in a vocational school.

He's a welder.

He's such a good welder
that the new students

just hang out
and watch him work.

He calls them his groupies.

And Cody, he works
in the dye factory.

That's why he colors his hair.

And he's in a band as well.

(band playing rock music)

He's the guitarist.

He says he gets all the chicks.

(both laughing)

♪ The world, the world,
the world, the world. ♪

(song ends)

MAYA:
That's it. Lift it.

Ooh. Hey, nice shots.

Nice shots. That's it.

Oh, I can feel it today, Red.

Okay, guys, game day.

Everybody, listen up.

The first thing we want...

Guys, I thought
I told you to wear blue.

I look better in red.

But it is a home game,
and home games, we wear blue.

My girlfriend is here,
and she likes me in red.

I'm sure your girlfriend would
like you just as much in blue.

She'd say, "Oh, my God.

Look how handsome
Craig looks in blue."

She isn't that corny, man.

She's into nasty stuff.

Yeah, she is. (chuckles)

O-Okay, have a seat.

Guys, here's the deal.

If you're not wearing blue,
you're not playing.

I suffer from color blindness,

so I don't really know
what I'm wearing.

Well, luckily, Marlon, you're
wearing blue, so you're fine.

Uh...

Hold it. Where's Benny?

He couldn't make it.
He had to work.

MARCUS:
He had to work on game day?

Yeah, his boss is-is
a r-- is a r-- is a r-- a--

a real asshole.

Okay, no Benny.

I guess we'll have to make do
with what we have.

♪ ♪

There we go. There we go!

Beautiful! Look at that!

Nice!

Get back! Get back!

Okay, right back down.
Right back down.

Right back down, guys.

-Right back down.
-Hustle! Hustle!

Hustle, Red, hustle!

-Nice! -You got to put
a hand up, Craig!

All right, hands out, hands out.
Come on, defense.

Let's get in there, defense!
Come on!

MARCUS:
Good pass. No, Showtime. No!

-MAYA: All right. All right.
-(laughs)

Oh, yeah, go.

There you go.
Hey, breakaway. All right.

Hey! Look at that!

Nice job, Jimmy. Great job.

You can't let them outrun you
like that, Johnny.

All right, cover your man.
Take a man.

That's it. Hands, hands, hands.
You got it.

Come on. Hands, guys!

Hands! Hands!

Come on. That's it.
Nice, nice, nice.

ALEX:
Let's go, Johnny. Let's go.

Shoot that! You got that!

Yeah! That's great, buddy!

Good job! Yes!

MAYA: All right, Jimmy,
this is yours. There you go.

Hey! Look at that! Nice job!

Get on back there!

-Good work, Jimmy!
-(whistles blow)

Rotate.

MAYA:
Come on, Red.

Let's get in there.
Let's get in there.

Defense, guys.

-Get it, rebound.
-Terrible shot.

Okay, okay. That's right. Okay.

All right. (grunts)

Thanks for the ride.

Marcus Marakovich?

-Yep.
-Hi.

I'm Zoe Baldeen. I write
for the Des Moines Beacon.

I'm wondering
if I could talk to you

about your new
coaching assignment.

My new coaching assign--

Th-This is the first
I'm hearing of this.

Is it Philly?

I'm talking about
your community service.

Coaching The Friends.

(sighs)

No, I... No comment.

-This-this will only
take a moment. -Nope.

Nope. Nope.

(whistle blows)

Okay. Everybody, hold the balls.

Hold the balls.

Everybody, get over there.
Get over there.

All right.

Guys, today,
I am going to teach you

the most beautiful play
in basketball.

It's called the "pick-and-roll."

I love this play.

And when it is done right,
it gives me a hard-on.

What the hell?

Oh, sorry, Cody.
It-It's just the truth.

Will it give me a hard-on?

Well, if you're lucky, Marlon.

Okay.
Now, Blair, you come defend me.

Johnny, you're on my team.

Benny, you're defending Johnny.

Okay?

Now, what happens is

I start to come to the right,
toward you, Johnny.

You step up
and set a pick on Blair.

Where do I set it?

You set it right here
at his elbow.

Good. Good. Good.

Oh. Oh.

My God, you have
got to take a shower.

Everyone says that.

Yeah, and everyone's right.
I mean, I'm tearing.

Okay, you setting the pick?

Okay. Do you have a pick?

No, you are the pick.

Be-be like a statue.

Good. And now I start
to come this way.

They both have to come out,

and that gives you
a chance to roll, Johnny.

-Roll? -Yeah.
You-you move toward the basket.

-Move toward the basket.
-But I'm a statue.

-Statues don't move.
-Forget I said "statue."

I can't.

Okay.

There you have it,
the pick-and-roll.

Did it give you
a hard-on, Coach?

No, Marlon. In fact,
I think my dick just evaporated.

That sounds serious.

Hmm. Yeah, it is.

Hey, did you tell your boss
we got that road game in Ames?

Yes, but I have a doubt.

What doubt?

I think he'll say yes,
but I have this doubt.

-What doubt?
-This doubt.

Okay. Okay. Fine.

Uh, if you have any more doubts,
come talk to me, all right?

Hey, Johnny. Jump in the shower.

I don't believe in showers.

-What does that mean?
-He's afraid of the water.

CODY:
There's a rat! It's a rat!

CRAIG:
A rat! A rat!

A rat! A rat! A rat! A rat!

-MARLON: There's a rat?
-Okay, relax.

Okay, let's check it out.

BLAIR:
I didn't know we had a rat.

-ARTHUR: Huh?
-CODY: A rat.

MARLON:
Since when did we have rats?

JOHNNY:
I hope it's all right.

-(shower running)
-(animal squeaking)

Oh.

-MARLON: That's not a rat.
-It's just a little mouse.

JOHNNY:
Save it, Coach.

It's gonna drown. Save it!

All right, all right,
all right. Just relax.

Take it easy. Take it easy.

It's not gonna drown.
It's all right.

JOHNNY:
Oh, no.

(squeaking)

We got to do something.

-Where'd it go?!
-Down the drain.

It gonna drown down there,
for real.

During drowning,
your lungs fill with water,

you can't get proper oxygen,
and then...

Not now, Wikipedia.

Save him, Coach. Save him!

All right. (stammers)

Oh, no. He's...

Oh, you know what, Johnny?

You got to save him.

You're the animal expert,
and he will sense that,

and he will come to you.

-You got to do it, Johnny.
-Come on. You got this.

-Come on, Johnny.
-You got this. -Come on.

-CRAIG: That's it, Johnny.
-Come on, Johnny.

-MARLON: You can do it, Johnny.
-Johnny, y-you get--

No, no, Johnny, you got to,
you got to get in there,

and you got to look down.

You got to be able to look down,
so get under there.

Can you see?

JOHNNY:
Cutie, come out.

Johnny, you know what? Here.

You got to wash off.

If you don't wash off,
the mouse can smell it,

and you got to smell good.

He'll smell that you're clean,
and then he'll come to you.

Get under the pitters.
Under the pitters.

That's good. Great.

Take a run
at that undercarriage.

There you go. Yeah.

(stammers) But don't overdo it.

All right. That's good.

Yeah. Great, Johnny.

-Cutie, I'm clean. Come out.
-(chuckles)

-CRAIG: There it is.
-MARCUS: There he is!

-Look! He's going, guys!
-We saved him.

-MARCUS: There he goes!
-ARTHUR: Way to go, Johnny.

MARCUS: You freakin' saved him!
You saved him!

-He's free!
-You freed the mouse!

-How's that feel?
-It feels pretty good.

Yeah?

Give me a hug, Coach.

(chuckles) I already had...

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Come on. Come on.

Yeah.

Yay!

(chanting):
Johnny! Johnny! Johnny! Johnny!

Johnny! Johnny!
Johnny! Johnny!

Well, first road game, huh?

-This is exciting.
-Yeah.

Look, the bus stop
is right over there.

Takes you right into
the heart of Ames.

Hold on. We-- Public bus?

What are you expecting, a limo?

-Are you coming with me?
-No.

I can't look after these guys
all by myself.

Marcus, relax.
You'll be just fine.

Oh. Oh. Good news.
I forgot something.

You're getting a player off the
injured list to replace Darius.

Cosentino.

Hell of a ballplayer, Cosentino.

All right. Happy luck.

-Hey.
-Hey.

(chuckles)

So, Johnny.

Look at you,
all fresh and clean.

I put baby powder
on my armpits and feet.

(chuckles):
Great.

Okay. Uh...

Hold it. Where's Benny?

He had to work. He texted me.

Again?

Yep.

(groans)

Okay, so I guess we're
just waiting on this Cosentino.

Cosentino had
a Grade 2 ankle sprain.

Just came back off
from the injured reserve

for kicking ass.

Kicking ass. I like that.

No, literally,
kicked some guy in the ass.

Huh.

-There she is.
-(chanting): Cosentino!

Cosentino!

(chanting continues)

♪ She's a bad mama jama ♪

♪ Just as fine as she can be ♪

♪ She's a bad mama jama ♪

♪ Just as fine
as she can be... ♪

Cosentino! Cosentino!

Who the hell are you?

I'm Marcus, the coach.

Uh, welcome to the team,
Cosentino.

Look, don't flirt with me, okay?

Let's keep this professional.

I'm Ms. Cosentino to you.

Beg pardon, Ms. Cosentino.

You know, we're going
to play basketball.

-We're not surfing.
-I know.

Well, what's with
the boogie board?

Sometimes these things
come in handy.

Okay. A boogie board?

Yeah.
So you do you, I do me, okay?

Where did you get this guy?

He just showed up one day.

Anyway, welcome.

("Escape (The Piña Colada Song)"
playing)

♪ And piña coladas ♪

♪ Getting caught in the rain ♪

♪ I'm not into health food... ♪

I always sit up front
by the driver.

Seeing the road ahead calms me.

So does talking.
Talking is calming.

Do you find talking
to be calming, driver?

JOHNNY:
♪ Write to me and escape ♪

♪ And making love at midnight ♪

♪ Dunes on the cape ♪

♪ The love that you looked for ♪

Hey. Hey, can you
keep it down, please?

♪ To me and escape ♪

♪ About my lady ♪

♪ That sounds kinda mean ♪

♪ My old lady ♪

♪ Into the same old
dull routine... ♪

What does that even mean?

Hey, Flutterfoot,

is there any way you could
smooth this thing out?

'Cause I suffer from
motion sickness.

Hey, by the way, where do you
keep your barf bags?

I like bowling.

Come on, let's go. Front.

By the window.

JOHNNY:
♪ Not into health food... ♪

MARLON:
Boy, am I glad to see you here.

This driver here isn't
much of a conversationalist.

By the way,
do you know much about

the history of public transit?

It's fascinating.

It started in Paris in 1662.

Johnny, come back here with us.

He can't hear you.
He's got his headphones on.

Did you hear?
Johnny's gonna move in with us.

Yeah, I heard something
about that, Blair.

I'll get his attention.

Oh. Oh, no, no!

-(driver groans)
-MARLON: Ah! Projectile!

-MARCUS: Oh, no.
-(brakes squeal)

MARLON:
Whoa!

That was not
your smoothest stop.

Who is in charge of these guys?!

Oh, that'd be me.
Uh, I'm their coach.

MARLON: If you're trying to
get us all nauseous, good job.

They are being disruptive.

I got hit in the head
with something.

I got one guy
talking my ear off.

I got Adele over there

just singing
at the top of his lungs.

Look, I don't see
any signs around here

that says "no singing."

They can't be throwing things.

Okay, look, we're just trying
to get to a basketball game.

(sighs) Fine.

Lower the volume on the singing.

Yeah, no, I... I'll talk to him.

(scoffs) Yeah.

MARLON:
(shudders) Oops.

♪ If you like piña coladas ♪

♪ Getting caught in the rain ♪

♪ If you're not into yoga ♪

♪ If you have half a brain... ♪

What happens
if we miss the game?

According to the rules,
it's a forfeit. We lose.

No, no, no.
That is not happening.

Maybe we could hitchhike.

Well, we'd have to
flag down an RV.

RV? I know who to call.

(horn honks)

(brakes squeaking)

What'd you say
your sister does for a living?

I told you. She's an actress.

She does Shakespeare.

Huh. All right. Let's go.

ALEX:
Welcome, weary travelers.

♪ ♪

How cool is this van?

Ah, what do you say, guys?

Better than the bus, right?

Yeah.
That bus smelled like puke.

(laughter)

Hey, uh, thank you
for picking us up.

Don't thank me.
Thank my brother.

I'm doing it for him.

He seems to think
you're a really terrific guy.

Doesn't exactly track
for me, but...

Well, I think
he's a terrific guy.

I do hear you got him
to take a shower.

That's very much appreciated.

Wh-What's going on with that?

I never heard of anyone
afraid of a shower.

He's afraid of water. He...

He almost drowned in a
swimming pool when we were kids.

It was... Long story.

Oh. Oh.

Oh, is that how he, uh, got...

You know, got the...

How he got Down syndrome?

No, you don't catch it
from water.

-It's genetic.
-Sorry. I...

I'm just...

I'm-I'm just--
I'm new to all this, so...

Yeah, I can tell.

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

Hey, I hear you hoodlums
got kicked off the bus.

Yeah, but Coach stuck up for us.

-SHOWTIME: Mm-hmm. (chuckles)
-Really?

The driver was
an asshole, right?

JOHNNY:
Big-time.

Oh, he was one of your people.

Oh, I'm surprised
you guys couldn't have

worked something out.

No, we did work something out.

We worked ourselves
right out of the bus

and into a field
in the middle of Iowa.

-So... (laughing)
-Nice work.

("Shake On"
by Gold Brother playing)

MARCUS:
Defense, guys. Hustle back.

OPPOSING COACH:
Yeah! That's the business!

Guys, you got to defend
over here!

-Move that ball.
-(opposing coach shouting)

♪ Never coming back... ♪

Guys, look for the open man.

Put some effort into it.

That's all right. Let's go.

Guys, defense. Defense.

(player laughs)

Hey. Somebody defend this guy.

Good job, Pete!

Good job! Solid!

Get between Peter
and the basket!

No, Showtime! No! No!

Showtime, you know,
you can actually shoot

facing the basket!

-ALEX: Okay, guys, let's go!
-No, not the long bombs, Cody.

Don't take the wild shot.

Let's go.

Oh, my knee.

Your knee is a long way
from your heart.

Suck it up. Go back in the game.

♪ I wanna move
to give you that feeling... ♪

Look for the open man.
He's under the basket.

Right there.

Good pass. Yeah, that's it!

Okay. Nice.

Okay, shoot it, Cody.

That's it, baby!

Now you're playing as a team!

♪ With a tremble
in your step... ♪

All the way. All the way.

-Yes! Yeah!
-(cheering, laughter)

That's it, Craig!

Nice, Craig!

Guys, defend him. Box him out.

Get your arms up.

Now you're talking, guys.

Okay, guys. Move that ball.

Look for the pass.
Shoot it, Johnny.

Shoot it.

-That's the shot, baby!
-ALEX: Yeah, Johnny!

MARCUS:
Yeah! Good shot, Johnny!

-(Marcus whoops)
-(whistle blows)

(buzzer blares)

(cheering)

MARCUS:
That was great shooting, baby,

-and we needed it!
-(song ends)

(phone chimes)

(upbeat music playing
over phone)

Yes.

What are you doing out here?

You're supposed to stay
in the kitchen.

You know, people might see you.
God, what's wrong with you?

But my team won.

Oh, really? They did?

I don't give a damn.

Stop busting my balls with this
basketball nonsense, all right?

I pay you to work,
not run around in little shorts.

Go. Go.

Get to work.

Dribble the dishes. Try that.

♪ ♪

MARLON: Coach, how are we gonna
get to our next away game?

Because I don't think
the bus is a good option.

Agreed.

What if we just play
the home games?

If we don't play the away games,
it's a forfeit,

and a forfeit
is considered a loss.

That's half our season.

We won't qualify for
North American regionals.

Regionals are in Winnipeg
this year.

JOHNNY:
Hey, that's up in Canada.

It's international travel, bro.

Airplanes, hotels,
rolling like pimps.

(Marcus chuckles)

Winnipeg is the exact
longitudinal center of Canada!

MARCUS:
How do you know that?

I know things.

They also have curling up there.

They have curling.
We have to go.

We have to play all the games.
No forfeits.

Yeah, okay, okay. Take it easy.

No, we haven't
forfeited anything.

Hey.
Why don't you just rent a van?

Yeah, well, Julio says
the program's broke,

and even if it wasn't,
I can't...

Oh, you can't drive.

Yeah, on account of the...

Yeah, I remember. Yeah.

What about you?

You strike me as someone
whose weekends are free.

(mock laughs) Good one.

Alex doesn't work on Saturdays.

Doesn't work on Saturdays?

Well, and you have
this tremendous chariot

at your disposal.

Come on, what do you say?

-Please, Alex.
-Come on.

-No. Stop it.
-MARLON: Please, Alex. Please.

-Please, Alex.
-(overlapping pleading)

-Please? Please?
-Please?

MARCUS: Pretty please?
Pretty please? Please?

All right, fine.
Fine, I'll do it.

-Yes!
-Yes!

(chanting):
Alex! Alex! Alex! Alex!

Alex! Alex! Alex! Alex!

Alex! Alex! Alex!
Alex! Alex! Alex!

(chanting fades)

ALEX:
Okay, watch your step.

It's icy tonight.

MARCUS:
Yep. Careful, buddy.

ALEX:
There we go.

-All right.
-You got it, champ.

Johnny Boy, you go inside
and get some sleep, okay?

-Mom's right inside.
-Where are you going?

I'm just gonna run Coach home,
and then I'll be back, okay?

-Oh, I can grab an Uber.
-I'm gonna take you home.

-Are you gonna be late?
-Okay.

No, babe, I'm not gonna be late.

I'm just gonna run him home,
and then I'll be back, okay?

-Okay.
-Okay.

-Bye, Coach.
-Ah.

-Great game. Great game.
-Hey.

-Great job today.
-Okay. -Oh, yeah.

-Way to go.
-Yeah. -All right.

-Good night. Sweet dreams.
-You, too. Love you.

(Marcus clears throat)

Hey, uh...

Are you gonna murder me
right now?

Let me break this down
for you, Coach.

I'm a woman in my 40s.

I don't have time for bullshit,
all right?

Do you know what I do
during the weekday?

-No.
-I perform Shakespeare

for middle school kids
right after lunch.

Um, do you know
what middle school kids

want to be doing
right after lunch?

No.

It ain't Shakespeare.

It's exhausting, but
it's acting, and I love acting.

So, after that,
I go home and I do

a lot of freelance bookkeeping
because Shakespeare--

and brace yourself here,
this might blow your mind--

-doesn't pay so much.
-(chuckles)

And then I go pick up
Johnny from work,

and we spend
the whole afternoon together.

And I love him very much,
but it's exhausting.

And then I make dinner
with my mom,

and then I watch Doctor Who
with Johnny,

and if I have any energy left
at the end of the night,

sometimes I hop on Tinder, okay?

'Cause a woman's got needs.

Oh, yeah. Well, no doubt.

And you might be
a big, giant pain in my ass,

but as far as I remember,
you were...

passable in bed.

Uh, uh, passable,
like passing the bar

or passing a kidney stone?

You got the job done.

It-- You were fine, right?

And sometimes, that's all
a woman can ask for, okay?

Mm. Mm. Mm.

You are singing my praises.

So the bottom line is:
Are we doing this or what?

Consider me swiped off my feet.

Great. Buckle up.

(engine starts)

♪ ♪

(both panting)

All right, now,
listen up, Showtime.

You see how my shoulders
are facing the basket,

-my sternum facing the basket.
-Yeah.

Yeah?
Squared up, and then I shoot.

-I'll try it.
-You'll do it?

-Yeah.
-Come on.

-Okay, already
you're doing great. -(chuckles)

You're facing the basket.
That's good. Now--

-Oh, hey, Darius.
-Nope.

Big balls.

Big balls, huh?

-ALEX: Friends, let's go. Go.
-(clapping)

MARCUS: Yeah. Nice, Craig.
Fire it up, Craig.

Craig.

Yeah, yeah. Fire it up.
Yes! Yes!

(crowd shouting excitedly)

-Yeah!
-(cheering)

Yeah! Nice, Cody!

Not bad.

♪ ♪

Pick-and-roll, Johnny.

Good. Set the screen.

Good.

Now roll! Roll!

Roll!

What are you doing?
You're supposed to roll.

I'm a statue.
Statues don't move.

(sighs)

Right.

ALEX: Then the dead queen's
best friend

shows the king
a statue of Hermione,

and she says,
"'Tis time. Descend.

Be stone no more."

And that statue comes to life.

-Really?
-Yes!

And she starts moving,

and then she steps down
from her pedestal.

MARCUS:
Yeah, Craig, bring it down.

Pick-and-roll, Johnny. Statue!

Okay, now roll, Johnny!

Roll!

'Tis time! Descend!
Be stone no more, Hermione!

Roll, Hermione! Roll!

-(crowd cheering)
-Yeah! That's it.

-Yes!
-(player whoops)

-Yeah!
-MARCUS: Beautiful!

You see that?!

Now, that's
the pick-and-roll, baby.

Did it give you
an erection, Coach?

I'm rock hard, Marlon.

Good. (laughs)

I'll explain that later.

Uh, defense! Defense!

I can't wait.

(crowd cheering)

MARCUS:
Yeah, that's it.

(cheering continues)

Yeah!

(Marcus grunting)

What?

Are you time-outing me?

Can I ask you a question?

Right now?

-Yes. Um...
-Oh.

I just... (sighs)

I was wondering, you and I...

Oh, God.

-No, wait.
-What are you doing?

Don't make it hard.
I just want to ask you...

Oh. This is so cute.

What do you want to know
about us?

Where-Where-Where's
this relationship going?

Hey, hey. It-It's just sex.

It's okay.
Just sex after away games.

Very convenient.

You good with that?

Yeah.
I mean, you're not planning on

sticking around Des Moines
after your 90 days, are you?

-No.
-No.

Well, then,
it's a win-win, isn't it?

Are you okay with that?

Yeah, no, I can, I can
learn to live with it, yeah.

Okay. All right.

Well, then, can we... game on?

Definitely.

♪ ♪

What am I looking at here?

Oh, pipes burst.

I don't know.

It must be global warming, huh?

I mean, it's raining,
and it's freezing,

and it's snowing,
then it's freezing again.

And all of a sudden,
it's hot girl summer in January.

(sighs)

I tried to call everybody
to warn them,

but these guys
showed up anyways.

Look, you've been
running them pretty good.

Just take the day off,
and I'll get this fixed.

No, no.

No days off. I know the spot.

Guys. Follow me.

Hey. I'm open. I'm open.

Shoot it.

Here, here.

-MAN: Way to go.
-MAN: Come on, come on.

All right,
we're gonna practice here today.

This'll be good.

Benny never gets
to play in a game.

Because of his asshole boss.

(chuckles): Because of
his asshole boss, exactly.

But today...

Benny plays.

And guess what.
I'm playing with you.

Yes!

But are we invited
to play in the game?

No invitation necessary.

There's nobody waiting.

You just say, "We got next."

That means you're playing
the next game.

Shoot, shoot.

-(cheering)
-Good one, guys.

MARCUS:
Okay.

Benny, do the honors.
Say it loud.

We got next!

Nice.

-See you later.
-Let's run it back.

-Have a good one.
-Take it easy.

Hey.

Did you hear my man?
We got next.

Yeah, but we're running it back.

What is this,
some kind of Jedi mind trick?

You lost. We got next.

That's how it goes.

Come on, man.

Come on what?

You know.

No, I don't know.

Don't make me say it.

Make you say what?

They're retards.

That's a boo-boo word.

(grunts, groaning)

All right, let's go, fellas.

We got next!

-MARCUS: Yeah.
-Here we go, bro.

("Oh!" by The Linda Lindas
playing)

Oh, that's what
I'm talking about!

Come on, Cody.

Whoo, whoo-hoo, baby.

♪ ♪

MARCUS:
That's it.

Whoo, yeah.

That's it, baby. Come on.

Whoo. Nice one.

Go, go, go! Yeah.

♪ And when I think of things,
they always turn out wrong ♪

♪ Wrong, wrong, wrong ♪

Whoo. Benny. Money Man.

CRAIG:
Come on, team.

-Oh. Nice one.
-That's it, Craig.

Okay, defense.

-Oh.
-Dikembe Mutombo.

-Yeah, that's it, Benny baby!
-♪ Oh! ♪

♪ Oh, when they say something,
you always suck it up ♪

-♪ Oh! -♪ And when I try
to help, it never is enough ♪

BENNY:
Oh.

-Whoo-hoo.
-♪ Oh! ♪

♪ Oh! ♪

Hey, Darius. Hey.

Come join us.

♪ What can I do?
What can I do? ♪

♪ What can I say?
What can I say? ♪

-♪ Oh! Oh! ♪
-BENNY: Coach, Coach. I'm open.

-♪ Oh! ♪
-Whoo. Whoo-hoo-hoo.

-Ah! Oh! Time-out.
-♪ Oh! ♪ -(song ends)

(exaggerated groaning)

(groaning continues)

I popped a hammy.
Get in there, will you?

Nope.

Come on, come on, get in there.

My-my ACL's all wobbly,

and my... my shoulder, and my...

I-I got a testicular subulation.

Listen, I'm-I'm not
the coach here, all right?

The team needs you--
there's only four of them.

Get in there. Come on.

-Get... Yes, let's go, go, yes!
-(song resumes)

♪ What can I do?
What can I do? ♪

♪ What can I say?
What can I say? ♪

MARCUS:
Yeah, that's it, Darius.

-♪ What can I do? ♪
-Fire it up.

♪ Nothing changes,
it's all the same... ♪

Darius, that's beautiful.

Great play, buddy. Great play.

-Hustle, hustle.
-Corner, corner, corner.

Box him out.

♪ What can I do?
What can I do? ♪

DARIUS:
Yo, yo, yo, yo.

♪ Nothing changes,
it's all the same ♪

Spread out, spread out.

♪ ♪

-♪ Oh! ♪
-MARCUS: Beauty, beauty.

Whoo!

-Good shot, Darius.
-♪ Oh! ♪

♪ Oh! ♪

-You played great, Darius.
-♪ Oh! ♪

Yeah, I know.

Hey, do you think
maybe you could...?

Nope.

(Marcus sighs)

(phone ringing)

Ooh, I gotta take this.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hello?

Sonny? Any news?

Actually, yes.

My uncle says there's traction
with Phoenix.

He's a big fan of yours.

More to come.

(laughing)

-(farts loudly)
-My bad.

MARCUS:
What the heck was that?

I got to go.

Yes! Yes!

-Whoo-hoo.
-♪ One, two, three, uh ♪

-(laughing giddily)
-♪ My baby don't mess around ♪

-Here we go.
-♪ Because she loves me so ♪

-Get your legs moving.
-♪ And this I know for sure... ♪

Yeah. Whoo.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Whoo. In... out.

Take it easy.

Now we're gonna pick it up.
Yeah?

♪ Don't try
to fight the feeling ♪

♪ 'Cause the thought alone
is killing me right now ♪

♪ Uh! ♪

♪ Thank God for Mom and Dad ♪

♪ For sticking two together ♪

-♪ 'Cause we don't know how... ♪
-Oh, come on! Are you serious?

Did you not see that?
That's a travel.

What are you doing?

It's not. They get two steps.

-They do?
-Yeah.

Oh. Sorry.

Don't apologize.

Those guys are meant
to be yelled at.

You heard her, ref!

Get your head out of your ass!

♪ Hey ya ♪

♪ Hey ya... ♪

♪ Hey ya ♪

♪ Hey ya... ♪

(gasps)

I pray you, Romeo,
what saucy merchant was this?

A gentleman, nurse,
that loves to hear himself talk.

I'll take him down.

And if I cannot,
I'll find those that shall.

Scurvy knave.

I am none of his flirtgills.

I am none of his skainsmates.

And now afore God,

I am so vexed that every part
about me quivers.

-Scurvy knave.
-(chuckling)

♪ Ah, here we go ♪

♪ Shake it, sh-shake it,
shake it ♪

-♪ Uh-oh ♪ -♪ Sh-shake it,
shake it, sh-shake it ♪

-♪ Shake it, shake it ♪
-♪ Uh-oh ♪

-♪ Sh-shake it, shake it like a
Polaroid picture ♪ -♪ Hey ya ♪

♪ Shake it, sh-shake it,
shake it, sh-shake it ♪

♪ Shake it, shake it
like a Polaroid picture ♪

-♪ Hey ya ♪
-♪ Uh-oh... ♪

(song fades)

Oh, my goodness.

What is this, young man?

You caught me.

I try to keep that hidden
in there,

but it's Shakespeare
for... dummies.

-A second book?
-(chuckling)

I mean,
I don't even know what to say.

I just never would have
visualized that.

(chuckling)

So you're into Shakespeare, huh?

I art interested
in certain personages

who art interested
in Shakespeare.

Art thou, now?

I really art.

-("Tell Me" by BROS playing)
-♪ I need you ♪

♪ Girl, I love you ♪

♪ I want you ♪

♪ I got to tell you. ♪

(song fades)

There he is.

What's good, Marcus?

Well... (sighs)

I'll tell you what's not good.

I, uh, decided to contact
your uncle's office directly.

Turns out he's not
a big fan of mine.

Is he?

Is he?

No.

No, he is not.

I wanted to help.

I tried, really, but he
shut me down, like, instantly.

Instantly. Instantly.

(stammering): So this
whole thing about Phoenix

was just bullshit.

Yeah.

What the hell, man?

This is my life
you're toying with.

That was my last shot.

Why would you do that?

I-I wanted to be friends.

Oh. Oh, yeah, right, right.

You wanted me to mentor your
coaching career, or whatever.

You were using me.

You made it pretty clear

you were only hanging out with
me because of my uncle, so...

if anyone was using anyone...

I'll see you around, Marcus.

Hey.

Why would you want to be
friends with me, anyway?

I don't know, man.

It seemed like
you could use one.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Good practice today, Coach.

I picked and I rolled.

Pick-and-roll.

Yeah.
Pick-and-roll, pick-and-roll.

ALEX:
You're a ball of sunshine today.

Well, I got
some not-so-wonderful news today

about, uh, Phoenix.

Oh.

You know what always
cheers me up, Coach?

Meat loaf.

You should come over for dinner.

Uh... no. I-I can't do it
tonight, Johnny. Thank you.

Not tonight.

Monday. Meat loaf Monday.

You got to come. It's the best.

Uh, I-I don't... I...
No, I don't... No.

Come. You can meet our mom.

ALEX:
No, you know, you know what?

He might have, like, a...

Macaroni Monday plan
or something

and, you know, you don't
want to mess with that, right?

JOHNNY:
No.

You know what?

I think I will take you up
on that very kind offer, Johnny.

Absolutely.

JOHNNY:
Yes!

ALEX:
Are you sure?

No, no. I'm positive. I-I...

I can't think of anything
better to do on Monday.

♪ ♪

(indistinct chatter)

MARCUS:
Psst!

What are you doing?

(whispering):
What's it look like I'm doing?

I'm hiding.

Why?

They fired me, remember?

Oh, yeah. They did.

What's going on?

Well, I was just wondering,

are they still underutilizing
your talents here?

I'm still catching farts,
if that answers your question.

(chuckles) Well, um...

do you have any time
on Tuesdays and Thursday?

Yeah.

Sometimes.

I could use an assistant.

With The Friends? Really?

Yeah, you know, uh, you know,
I run these, uh...

different exercises with them,

and, uh, when I split them
into two groups,

it just goes off
the rails, so...

I-I could use some help.

And, I mean, it's not glamorous,
but it's basketball,

and, uh, I don't know, uh...

sometimes we could look at film.

What do you say?

Uh...

hell to the yeah?

(laughing)

Uh, so, wait,
is this a friendship

or mentorship type thing?

Are we talking profesh or soche?

Or... both?

It-It's early days,
so let's not label it yet.

-Cool, cool, cool. Yeah.
-Yeah.

I-I'm free tonight.

No, no,
I have something tonight,

but I will text you.

Um...

(whispers):
I gots to go.

♪ ♪

(sighs):
Oh, my God.

(doorbell chiming)

(footsteps approaching)

-Hi.
-Hi.

I'm, uh, Marcus,
the basketball coach.

I'm Dot, the mother. Come on in.

Well, this is the castle.

-Very nice. -Those two should
be back in a minute.

Okay. Uh, this is for you.

Oh. How kind.
Thank you. Take a seat.

-I'll be right back.
-All right.

(grunts)

-(high-pitched squeal)
-Oh.

Uh, I nearly squashed
your, uh, hamster.

Oh, that's just Honeybun.

He'll be fine.

Oh. Okay.

So you've been a busy man.

What do you mean?

Well, you're coaching Johnny,
and...

you and Alex, you know.

No, I don't know.

You don't know?

No, I don't, I don't know. I...

Well, you know what you know.

Well, I-I know that I don't know
what you think you know.

Uh, yeah, I mean,
I-I do know I'm...

(laughs):
I'm just here for dinner.

-Yeah, right.
-(door closes)

ALEX and JOHNNY:
♪ La, la, la... ♪

♪ M-M-My Sharona ♪

(vocalizing)

♪ My Sharona. ♪

Coach.

Oh, hey, Johnny. Yeah.

(sniffing)

-ALEX: Peaches. God, sorry.
-Oh.

Oh, knock it off, Peaches.
Stop. God.

Peaches, down.

Oh, friendly. Yeah.

Yeah, sorry.

We've got kind of a zoo here.

Yeah.
Yeah, I think I just squashed

your gerbil, maybe, almost.

All these cuties show up
from my work.

I rescued them.

Oh. (laughs)

Can you rescue me?

-Kinda tickles. -Oh, Peaches,
off, off, off, off, off.

-DOT: Peaches, down.
-ALEX: Get off.

-I'm so... so sorry.
-No.

I'll rescue whoever is gonna be
put down in the shelter.

Since I started working,

they haven't put down
a single animal.

Really? That's great.

Not a single one.

(whispers):
Not a single one.

Oh, my God.

Incredible.

Thank you so much.

I-I haven't had
a home-cooked meal in... I...

Oh, geez, I don't even remember.

(laughter)

Cheesy meat loaf
is my favorite, too, Coach.

It's good.
Not healthy, but it's good.

Yeah. I'm supposed to be
on a low-cholesterol diet,

-but, what, am I gonna
live forever? -Right.

-I don't think so.
-Well, you got me there.

You're not the food Nazi,
are you?

Not... No, not me.
Not on cheesy meat loaf night.

(chuckles)

So, uh, Johnny's gonna move into
the group home with the fellas.

That's gonna be fun, huh?

That's what I've been saying.

N-No, he's not.
Where'd you hear that?

(laughs):
Well, well, from Johnny

and-and Cody and Craig
and-and Blair.

They're all excited.

No, no. He doesn't
have to move into a home.

He's got everything
he needs right here.

Plus, we have so much fun,
right, bud?

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

But, Johnny, you told me...

This doesn't involve you.

You know what?

I got a big day tomorrow.

I better get on the road.
(clears throat)

Uh, thank you so much
for everything.

This has been fabulous.

You're welcome.

And there you go,
driving another boyfriend away.

-He's not my boyfriend.
-He came to dinner.

First man you've invited
home in years...

-Johnny invited him.
-Johnny invited him.

(scoffs)

You're sleeping together,
you two.

-Oh, my God, Mom.
-Don't deny it.

You're having sex.

-I can tell.
-Okay.

Peaches can tell,
for crying out loud.

All right.

You and Coach
are doing sex moves?

Okay. Bye.

(door opens)

Hey.

Wh-What are you doing?

Uh... waiting on an Uber.

Come on, are you just
gonna run away?

No.

Well, yeah. I mean...

I just wasn't feeling
terribly welcome.

Hey, by the way,
I love your mom.

She's very colorful.

Okay.
Why'd you come here tonight?

Meat loaf Mondays.
You invited me.

I didn't invite you. Johnny did.

Okay.

Seriously?

I mean, come on.

What are we doing here?

You don't want me
to come to your house.

We got to sneak off under
the bleachers to steal a kiss.

Like, you know,
we're not in junior high.

Wh-What...

What's...
what is the big secret?

I-I don't know.

(sighs)

Look, I-I...
I like to keep my personal life

and my family life separate,
okay?

I just know from experience

that if I get involved
with a guy, you know,

and Johnny finds out about it,
then he gets attached.

And if it doesn't work out,
then he can get very hurt,

and I... I won't do that to him.

Okay.

You ever think maybe...

you're hiding behind Johnny?

(scoffs)

(short laugh)

I don't think we should
see each other anymore.

-Really?
-Yeah.

-Well, okay.
-Okay.

(sighs)

♪ ♪

(door closes)

♪ ♪

SONNY:
There you go.

That's it. Move those feet.

That's what we're gonna
work on today.

Good job. Good job!

I have Down syndrome.
I'm not deaf.

-Got it, slick?
-(door opens)

Got it.

-Cool, cool. Yeah.
-(door closes)

I'm gonna be with
the rest of the guys.

Hey, Eeyore.

What's the matter,
girlfriend problems?

I-I don't have a girlfriend.

Makes sense.

Oh, what, am I that bad-looking?

You're no McConaughey.

Coach, I wrote down
what I want to say to my boss.

-(Johnny growling)
-Is there any way

that you can read it?

Uh, yeah, I'll look at it later.

Go on. Get...

Johnny? Come here.

Your sister and I
are just friends.

I'm not a child.

I know what you're up to.

Okay, okay.

We... we were involved,

but we're not anymore.

-(Johnny growling)
-Hey, hey, hey.

I thought you wanted to go live
with the three amigos.

Why... why didn't you tell
your sister?

(sighs) I want to go,
but good guys don't leave.

I was a kid
and they made fun of me.

Alex beat them up.

She did. She beat them up.

So I don't want to leave her.

My dad left my mom
after I was born,

so I don't leave Mom either.

Yeah.

Well, anyway, just, uh,
stop giving me the stink eye.

Okay.

You're still giving me
the stink eye, Johnny.

-I'm not.
-You are.

-Not!
-You are.

Ei-ei.

(sighs)

Marcus.

Ah. Hey, Phil.

What are you doing here?

Uh, food's good.
Got to eat, right?

-(chuckles)
-How you doing?

Doing all right?

Ah, I'm hanging in.

I read about you in the paper.
The Friends.

Oh, yeah. That's a...

No, no, no, no. It's-it's great.

How are you making out
with Darius Rhodes over there?

You know Darius?

I coached him.

Uh, ma'am?
Can I get a cup of coffee?

You coached Darius?

Well, in a sense.

He showed up at a youth camp

when I was coaching
here at Drake.

Ten years old
with a handle like Iverson

and a smile that lit up the gym.

I was thinking, "I might be
recruiting this kid someday."

The next summer,
he's not at the camp.

I find out he's been
in a terrible car accident.

Traumatic brain injury.

(sighs)

-Brutal.
-God.

I get the job in Fresno,

but I kept in touch
with the family over the years.

(sighs heavily)

He won't play for me.

Yeah? Huh.

Is there any way...
you could talk to him?

No. It's got to be you.

♪ ♪

(sighs)

(knocks)

Yeah?

Julio told me where you live.

I got to go to work soon, so...

Oh. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Just give me one second.

(sighs) Okay.

I-I talked to your old coach,
Perretti.

Perretti's my guy.

Yeah, well, he's my guy, too.

We're friends, and... (sighs)

I know...

why you don't want
to play for me.

I hate drunk drivers.

Yeah, I get it.

I-I mean, obviously,
I don't get it, get it,

but I, uh...
you know, I-I get it.

You still drink alcohol?

Sometimes.

Definitely not as much.

You still drive drunk?

Darius, you can choose
to believe me or not,

but I know for a fact

that I will never,
ever do that again.

Never.

Okay.

You're not gonna ask me to play?

Nope.

I just wanted you to know
that I know.

And I get it.

♪ ♪

See you Saturday.

JULIO:
Wait a minute.

Congratulations are in order.

What do you mean?
We haven't won anything yet.

No, but your 90 days are up.

You're a free man, Marcus.

Really?

Huh.

Ooh, boy. That flew by.

(laughs)

Well, uh, okay, Julio.

We'll see you Saturday.

(chuckles)

VAN PELT (over TV): This is one
big thing, and it's a good one.

Jalen, you remember
your boy Marcus Marakovich

of the Iowa Stallions?

ROSE:
The hothead assistant?

That's the one, the jabroni who
was throwing hands at his boss.

Well, he got fired.

"Jabroni"? Really?

-No surprise there.
-Smug-ass, alien-headed freak.

But the surprising thing is
that now he's the head coach

of a juggernaut of a squad,

a team of Special Olympics
athletes called The Friends

in Des Moines, Iowa.

Now, check this out.

As you can see,
it's-it's cell phone video

or something from
somebody's phone, but it's fine.

He's coaching his tail off.

You know what?
I respect the grind.

I see you, Marcus.

The Friends
are just one win away

from qualifying for
the regional tournament.

We hope you make it
to the dance, Coach.

We'll be watching.

Yeah, you watch, Van Pelt.

ROSE:
Let's go, Friends!

Give the people what they want.

Sir, I work very hard for you,

and I deserve to have
a say in my schedule.

I love basketball.

We have a big game on Saturday,

and all I want is
to play in that game.

(exhales) I can do better.
I can do better.

Sir, I work very hard for you.

Hey, Coach.

Hey. You made it.

-Yeah, I made it.
-Ah, great!

Uh, so, uh, what did
your jackass boss say to you

when you stood up to him?

He said, "You're fired."

Oh. I'm... I'm-I'm sorry.

Ah. It's okay.

-Let's go.
-(chuckles): Okay.

("Make a New Dance Up"
by Hey Ocean! playing)

MARCUS:
Pass it down.

-That's the shot, baby!
-(crowd cheering)

-Yes! Yes.
-Oh.

(talking quietly)

MARCUS:
Okay, good defense. Defense!

♪ You remind me of a boy... ♪

-(crowd groans)
-Oh, that's okay.

♪ When he cut me like a saw
with his back-and-forth ♪

♪ And I remind you
of someone... ♪

That's it. There you go.

MARCUS: Guys, work it around.
Work it around the perimeter.

Find the open shot.

CRAIG:
Pass it here!

♪ We thought
we'd never dance again ♪

MARCUS:
Good try. Good try.

♪ So scared of second chances ♪

♪ But now there's
something happening ♪

♪ You make me want to dance ♪

♪ You make me want to move... ♪

Johnny. Go in for Craig.

-No.
-No? What do you mean, "no"?

Come on. We need your scoring.
We need your pick-and-roll.

I don't want to do
the pick-and-roll anymore.

I don't want you
to have any more hard-ons!

Okay. You know what? Fine.
You just sit there.

Marlon, go in for Craig.

I would, Coach, but I'm having
a bit of a thrombosis flare-up.

Hey. You heard him.
Get in there!

♪ And you know the moves ♪

♪ 'Cause it's our dance ♪

♪ And you know the moves ♪

-(crowd cheering)
-That's okay.

♪ 'Cause it's our dance ♪

♪ And you know the moves ♪

-Oh, that's okay.
-♪ You make me wanna dance. ♪

-(buzzer blares)
-(song ends)

MARCUS: Okay, guys,
we need a big second half

if we're gonna make it
to Winnipeg.

-Nice. Nice.
-Thanks, Coach.

Way to go, you guys.

Get a little water. Rest up.

No. Players only.

What are you talking about,
Cosentino?

-Get out of the way.
-Players only.

If you come near me,
I'll "Me Too" your ass.

Okay.

(Sonny grunts)

-It's players only.
-Yeah, I heard.

Hey. What's your problem?

I don't want to play for Coach.

You don't have to play
for Coach.

We play for each other.

-Right?
-That's right. -Yeah.

-I agree with that, yes.
-Nice one.

And your sister is
a grown woman who can have sex

with whoever she wants,
even a dogface like Coach.

-You know about that?
-Yeah. We all know.

There was a vibe.
You just didn't want to see it.

We need you,
so snap the fuck out of it.

-(buzzer blares)
-Oh, yes!

-(whooping)
-Let's do this!

(players chattering
and whooping excitedly)

Yes. I love it.

Put me in, Coach.

You're welcome.

Okay.

Yeah, let's go!

("Sweet Georgia Brown" playing)

-Oh! Yeah!
-(crowd cheering)

(cheering)

SHOWTIME:
Whoa!

(laughing)

-Oh, yeah! Yeah!
-(cheering)

That's it!

-Yes! -Yeah!
-Yes!

Not in my house.

(buzzer blares)

-(cheering, excited chatter)
-We did it! Yeah!

-Going to Winnipeg!
-Canada!

Special Olympics!

-(whooping)
-(chanting): Canada. Canada.

-Yeah.
-Way to go, guys.

-(whooping)
-All right.

Shower up.
I'll be in in a minute.

-Good game.
-Watch your head, Showtime.

Good job, Sonny. Great coaching.

Thanks, Coach.

Hey.

Oh. Hey.

Congratulations.
That was quite a game.

-Thank you.
-And you got Johnny to play.

Uh, well, it wasn't me,
but I'm glad he played.

-We needed him.
-Yeah.

Yeah. So, uh...

-I-I'm sorry that I got
all up into your business. -No.

Don't apologize. I'm sorry.

And I-I wanted you to know that
I did hear what you were saying.

Um...

And it looks like someone
wants to talk to you, so...

Oh. (chuckles)

We'll talk soon. Okay.

Well, fancy seeing you here.

Congrats on the win.
Team looks good.

Thank you.
Thank you so much for coming.

Uh... what's up?

My mama's a Christian.

She wants me to forgive
the lady that hit me.

I've tried, but I can't.

But I thought maybe
I could practice on you.

So, I'll play for you,
Coach, in regionals.

Are you messing with me
right now?

Nope.

(Marcus laughing)

I think... I think I might cry.

Thank you.

You made an old man happy.

Go tell the guys.
I'll be right in.

Welcome to the team.

PLAYERS (chanting):
Darius! Darius! Darius!

Darius. Darius. Darius.

-Darius! Darius! Darius!
-(sighs)

(chanting fades)

♪ ♪

MARCUS:
Thank you.

Yeah, Kenny. Hey.

Yeah, I can talk.
Just on my way to practice.

O-Okay.

Are you kidding me?

You better not be kidding me.

Oh, my God.

(laughs):
Oh, my God.

I-I'll call you in a minute.

Okay. Uh, guys, listen.

Before we roll
the basketballs out,

I-I want to try
a little experiment, okay?

Everybody, close your eyes.

Take a deep breath.

And... go inside your mind
for a minute.

It's very dark in here, Coach.

That-That's okay, Marlon.
That's fine.

But I-I just want you
to keep breathing,

and I want you to use your
imagination and visualize this.

We are up in Winnipeg.

Championship game
has just ended.

We are at center court,

jumping up and down,
celebrating.

Streamers and confetti
are falling,

and the crowd is cheering us
because we are champions!

Okay, you can
open your eyes now.

Anybody see that?

No.

Winnipeg looked very cold,
so I came here.

I saw it, Coach. I did.

-Nice, Benny.
-Me, too.

Ah. Great, Showtime.
Okay, we're good, good.

We'll just keep working on this
because I want you guys

to just, you know,
get that picture in your mind

because it's gonna happen.

We're going to Winnipeg,
and we're gonna be champions!

-(cheering)
-Yeah!

And I'm going to the NBA,
to Seattle,

because they hired me
to coach up there!

Seattle... sucks.

Well, i-it's an expansion team.

You know, it's a process.

Well, who's gonna coach us
next season, then?

I-I don't know. Maybe Julio.

Good guys don't leave!

Yeah, Johnny, they do.

When the NBA calls, they leave.

I should've known.

(stammers) You know,
it would've been really nice

for you guys to just give me
a little congratulations.

C-Congrat... congrat...

congr-gr-gratulations, Coach.

We'll miss you.

Thank you, Arthur.

(sighs heavily)

(exhales heavily)

Hey.

Hey. You're done early.

Yeah, yeah. Uh, they, uh...

Great news.

Yeah, I, uh...

got an NBA job in Seattle,
third assistant.

Which means, you know,
I-I'll be on the bench,

not one of those schmucks
sitting in the second row.

(both laugh)

Yeah, it's a...

pretty big deal.

Wow.

That's... that's great.

Yeah.

Did you tell The Friends?

Yeah. Yeah.

Uh...

They weren't exactly thrilled,
uh... (chuckles)

as you might imagine, and, uh,
Johnny, pissed at me, again.

Hmm. Yeah. Of course he's upset.

He's attached to you.
They all are.

Man, what does it take
to get an "attaboy" around here?

I'm sorry. Congratulations.

I know it's what you wanted.

Thank you.

Really, I-I owe it all
to The Friends.

I, uh... (chuckles)

Apparently, Seattle's getting
roughed up in the press,

needed a feel-good story,
you know,

to change the subject,
and, uh...

Look at me. Mr. Feel-Good.

(both chuckling)

It's a little exploitative,
though, isn't it?

No. I'm not exploiting anybody.

I'm... I would...
I would never...

You know that I love these guys.

I mean, you were court ordered
to care, so... (chuckles)

It's not exactly the same.

That's not fair. You...

I thought we were okay.

Why are you being
so shitty about this?

Honestly, 'cause you just
get to drop into our lives

and mess everything up
and then just walk away.

I seem to remember
you telling me

that you have no interest
in getting involved.

Yeah, I did,
and then it changed.

And you know it changed.

Okay.
I knew they changed for me.

I didn't know they changed
for you until just now.

Happy to hear you
acknowledge that.

Yeah.

I was never staying
in Des Moines after my 90 days.

You knew that.

You know, you could have
at least pretended

it was gonna be hard to leave.

You know, maybe you could've
said you were gonna miss me.

You're right. You're right.

-(scoffs)
-Well, I-I will miss you.

Oh, good. Cool. Yeah.

-I will.
-It's too late.

♪ ♪

(door opens)

(door closes)

(sighs)

Okay, guys.

I realize,
after the last practice,

there were some feelings
about my leaving,

but we still have
a job to do in Winnipeg.

Get over yourself, jackass.

We can't go
to the tournament anymore.

What? Why not?

We don't have the money.

I appealed to the city,

I appealed to the state,
and nothing.

The city sucks. The state sucks.

Well, there's been budget cuts.

Yeah, but, well,
there's got to be a way, Julio.

Uh, how much could it be?

Well, it's in Canada, Marcus.

That's airplane tickets,
hotel rooms, uh, long johns.

Uh, it adds up.

The guys are all
looking forward to curling.

♪ Nobody gets out pain-free ♪

("Life Reminds Us We're Alive"
playing)

♪ Nobody doesn't get lonely ♪

♪ I used to think that maybe
I was the only one ♪

♪ I was the only one ♪

♪ But nobody doesn't get
a broken heart ♪

♪ And nobody doesn't need
a brand-new start ♪

♪ Everybody's been
on a shoulder crying ♪

♪ Out on a Saturday night ♪

♪ That's how life reminds us
we're alive ♪

♪ That's how life
reminds us we're alive ♪

♪ That's how life reminds us
we're alive ♪

♪ Nobody finds a perfect lover ♪

♪ No magic
in a four-leaf clover ♪

♪ But even through
the stormy weather ♪

♪ I'll be the one for you,
I'll be the one for you ♪

♪ 'Cause nobody doesn't need
a friend to believe in ♪

♪ And nobody doesn't have
a friend who leaves them ♪

♪ So say a prayer
for all who dare ♪

♪ To love on a Saturday night ♪

♪ And that's how life
reminds us we're alive ♪

♪ That's how life reminds us
we're alive ♪

-♪ That's how life reminds us ♪
-(doorbell rings)

-♪ We're alive. ♪
-(grunts)

(song ends)

Oh.

So, what are you hoping for?

A little afternoon quickie?

Mom. (scoffs) Good God. Go.

-I'm just trying to be helpful.
-Go. Go.

(Marcus chuckles)

(sighs)

What do you want?

Well, if that quickie thing's
on the menu...

-It's not.
-Okay. Not funny.

Uh, I need a favor.

(chuckles softly)

Wow.

What? No, it's not for me.
It's for The Friends.

What is it?

Well, I need you
to put on a little show.

♪ ♪

See that?

Damn, these costumes are great.

Think we can pull this off?

This is my basketball, Marcus.
Just follow my lead.

We're looking for O'Connolly.

Okay.

Right this way.

I've got nothing to hide.

I have no illegals
working in my kitchen.

Illegals? Really?

Sorry. Mexicans.

Oh, don't apologize to me.

-Apologize to my partner,
Sanchez. -Hmm?

Oh, sorry, Officer Sanchez.

No problem...o.

You have no idea
how sorry you are.

Do you know what's on here,
Mr. O'Connolly?

Uh, no.

It's video and statements
from your employees

proving that you've created
a hostile work environment.

It demonstrates a pattern
of abusive behavior,

particularly towards
a dishwasher

named Benjamin Weaver.

-Benny?
-Yeah.

A former employee with
intellectual disabilities,

thanks to whom you,
Mr. O'Connolly,

I'm assuming received
quite a sizeable tax benefit.

Well, hang on here a minute.

Hang on my dick and balls,
okay?!

Here's what we could do.

We could point Mr. Weaver
to an attorney

or we could introduce him
to a reporter at The Beacon

'cause I just have this sense

that it could be
such a great story.

Don't you agree, Sanchez?

Sí.

ALEX:
What are your thoughts on that?

(laughs nervously)

Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Whoa, um...

surely, uh...

...there must be something
I can do.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Hey, Coach, is there a pool?

There better be a pool.

Oh, I'm sure there's a pool,

but, uh, this is not
a ski resort,

so why do you have the skis?

Don't worry about it.

Okay.

(people cheering)

(cheering)

(shouting excitedly)

(whooping, laughing)

-Yeah!
-(cheering)

Is it everything
you were hoping for, Marlon?

It's even better
than I expected!

Whoo!

(whooping and cheering)

♪ ♪

Hey, hey, guys.

Now, you had a big day.

I know you're all tired,

but tomorrow,
we got the gold medal game,

so I need you
to go back to your room

and get a good night's rest.

-All right.
-Sure thing, Coach.

-We'll do it.
-MARCUS: All right.

-Good night.
-All right.

-Good night, Coach.
-All right, good night.

-Bye.
-Good night.

Look at you,
laying down the law.

They respect me.

-(Cosentino laughing)
-(boys barking)

Whoo!
Mush, mush, you filthy dogs!

(barking continues)

COSENTINO:
Whoo!

Hey!

(laughter, excited chattering)

(barking and chattering fade)

COSENTINO:
That was rad.

♪ ♪

(sighs heavily)

Coach.

You have a minute?

Oh. Sure.

Great. Rolling?

We've been following
your incredible story

for a minute now, Coach.

You're on your way to the NBA,
but first,

some unfinished business.

You're one win away

from the Special Olympics
North American Regional title.

How's it feel?

(chuckles):
Great.

Uh, I'm just really excited
for my team, The Friends.

Uh, you know, uh,
to have the chance

to become champions
is a rare and special thing.

Now, some are saying that
the front office in Seattle

is using your hiring
as a distraction

from the recent
in-house scandals.

I mean,
do you feel that your team

and their disabilities
are being exploited?

Uh, no, I wouldn't say that.

I-I, uh... (clears throat)

I feel that I am
an NBA-caliber coach,

and I will be an asset to them
on... on the bench.

-Thank you, Coach.
-Mm.

From Winnipeg,
I'm Blake Lassiter, ESPN.

Clear? Great.

What the hell was that?

I had to ask, Coach.

I'm a journalist.

You're a troll.

-Hey, guys. -ANNOUNCER:
Welcome to the Special Olympics

-North American
Regional championship. -Hey.

-What the heck?
-Today's game features

-The Beasts versus The Friends.
-What's the problem?

Why are you guys
all looking so freaked out?

Coach, the other team
is called The Beasts!

They're the "beasts,"
we're the "friends."

Based on our names,
I don't like our chances.

-They're friggin' giants.
-Aw, they're not that big.

Hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Calm down.

We have trained,
we have practiced,

we are in shape...

We are in trouble.

(crowd cheering)

-(cheering continues)
-(buzzer sounds)

♪ Oh! ♪

-You got this!
-Get back, get back.

("Unbelievable" by EMF playing)

That's all right,
that's all right!

ANNOUNCER: Number 7!
Two points for The Beasts!

Get back down!

♪ You burden me
with your questions ♪

♪ You'd have me tell no lies ♪

♪ You're always asking
what it's all about... ♪

Come on, defense, guys. Defense!

♪ You say to me
I don't talk enough... ♪

Come on, hustle back!

Box him out!

Get your hands up, guys!

(crowd exclaims)

ANNOUNCER:
Number 7 with a nice putback.

All right. All right.
No problem.

-♪ The things you say ♪
-(crowd exclaims)

-♪ You're unbelievable ♪
-♪ Oh! ♪

What?!

ANNOUNCER:
34 with a spectacular basket!

-Yeah!
-Yeah, Cody!

(laughing excitedly)

Back there on defense!

♪ By telling me more than mine ♪

♪ I'm always so concerned ♪

♪ With the way you say
you always have to stop... ♪

-Yeah! There you go!
-(cheering)

That's it, Darius!

Come on, baby!

ANNOUNCER: Number 24
with a beautiful drive.

MARCUS:
Box them out!

♪ And leave you,
the things you say ♪

♪ Your purple prose
just give you away... ♪

No!
Don't let them take those shots!

ANNOUNCER:
31 with a nice bucket!

-♪ You're unbelievable ♪
-♪ Oh! ♪

Yes! Defense! Defense!

Get that rebound!

ANNOUNCER: Number 13
with a rebound and a score!

(crowd exclaims)

MARCUS:
Go back!

SONNY:
Friends! Come on, Friends!

MARCUS:
Block them out!

(crowd exclaims)

ANNOUNCER:
Number 5 with a little flare!

-Get a hand up! Get a hand up!
-(buzzer sounds)

ANNOUNCER: The Beasts are 15
over The Friends at the half.

(Sonny whistling)

(crowd cheering in distance)

Uh, you know what?

This isn't about Xs and Os.

You guys got the Xs and Os down.

Have a seat, Sonny.

(sighs heavily)

You know what?

I get it.

Those dudes are scary.

But this is your shot
at being champions.

And guess what.

Champions are brave.

That's what it means
to be a champion.

Actually, the dictionary
definition of "champion" is...

Not now, Marlon.

You can't be afraid to fail.

You can't be afraid to lose.

You can do it
because I know you're brave.

I've seen you.

I've seen you do things
that were hard.

Things that felt impossible.

And I'm not just
talking as players.

I'm talking as people.

Benny...

stood up to his boss,
risked his job.

That was brave.

He's a champion.

Darius.

You were brave enough
to give me a chance

I probably didn't deserve.

Champion.

Cosentino.

Hey, I don't know if
you're brave or batshit crazy,

but I know you're a champion.

I was scared when I had
my first three-way,

but it was good.

Yeah, okay. (chuckles) Champion.

I mean, honestly,
the stuff you guys put up with

from ignorant people every day.

Come on.

You're all brave.

You are all champions.

Let's go out there
and show those guys

what champions
are made of, okay?

-Huh?
-MARLON: All right!

-Let's go!
-Yes!

-Come on!
-Come on! Let's go!

-(Marlon whoops) -Yeah.
-Let's do it.

MARLON:
Let's go! Yeah!

(excited chattering)

Let's go, let's go, let's go.

(cheering)

Good, good.

ANNOUNCER:
Ladies and gentlemen...

Get some water. Stretch it out.

...the Special Olympics'
second half is about to begin!

Good. Get loose.

Where are you going, Johnny?

You're-you're supposed to be
on the court.

I'm not a champion yet, Coach.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Okay. I'm ready.

(Marcus chuckles)

(crowd cheering)

♪ Game on! ♪

("Game On" by Beginners
with Yez Yez playing)

-♪ Yeah! ♪
-♪ Whoo-ooh! Whoo-ooh! ♪

ANNOUNCER:
Give it up for number 24!

Two points for The Friends!

♪ Bring it ♪

♪ Game on! ♪

-Go, Johnny!
-♪ Whoo-ooh! Whoo-ooh! ♪

♪ Game on! ♪

-Yeah!
-♪ Give me everything ♪

♪ Show me what you got ♪

-Good try, Darius!
-♪ Yeah, shoot your shot ♪

♪ Yeah, take it to the top ♪

♪ Ready or not ♪

♪ Give it all that you got... ♪

ANNOUNCER:
Oh, good post for 7!

Two points for The Beasts!

♪ Do it big or go home ♪

-Yeah!
-(cheering)

That's it, Benny!

ANNOUNCER: Number 12!
Two points for The Friends!

(laughing)

♪ Go! ♪

♪ Yeah! ♪

♪ Whoo-ooh! Whoo-ooh! ♪

MARCUS:
Yeah!

♪ Game on! ♪

♪ Bring it ♪

♪ Game on! ♪

♪ Whoo-ooh! Whoo-ooh! ♪

(whistle blows)

♪ Give me everything ♪

Coach, I think I may have
sprained my finger.

I'm sure you'll be fine, Marlon.

No, Coach,
this doesn't feel right.

(gulps)

You're gonna need
to see a trainer.

But I want to play.
The team needs me.

-Not like that they don't.
Have... -Wait.

-(crunching, pops)
-(grunting)

-Good as new.
-Uh...

♪ Whoo-ooh! Whoo-ooh! ♪

♪ Game on! ♪

-(crowd cheering)
-♪ Yeah! ♪

MARCUS:
Pass! Yes! Good!

♪ Game on! ♪

(cheering)

ANNOUNCER:
Number 34 high on the glass!

Okay, okay! Get back down!

♪ Game on! ♪

ANNOUNCER:
Beasts, 46. Friends, 41.

-♪ Yeah! ♪
-♪ Whoo-ooh! Whoo-ooh! ♪

ANNOUNCER:
Number 3 from a nice no-look!

Work it around, guys!

Work it around!

-♪ Game on! ♪
-♪ Whoo-ooh! Whoo-ooh! ♪

Set it up! Set it up!

♪ Game on! ♪

♪ Yeah! ♪

Nice shot, Dary! Beautiful!

ANNOUNCER:
Number 24 from downtown!

MARCUS:
Go for the pass!

Right there! Right there!

Pass it under the basket!

(cheering)

ANNOUNCER:
From the baseline, number 34!

-♪ Yeah! ♪
-♪ Whoo-ooh! Whoo-ooh! ♪

Oh, yeah!

ANNOUNCER:
24 with a banker!

Beautiful, Dary.

-♪ Game on! ♪
-♪ Whoo-ooh! Whoo-ooh! ♪

♪ Game on! Game on! ♪

-(whistle blows)
-Eight seconds left.

There's time for one more play
by The Friends.

Darius, you're gonna take
the final shot.

We're gonna clear out
the right side

-for you to iso, okay?
-Mm-hmm. Okay.

-No, not okay.
-Hmm?

What are, what are you
talking about?

That's a terrible call, Marcus.
They're gonna trap him.

It can't be Darius.
He has to be a decoy.

Sonny, this is my team.
You're...

(laughs quietly)

Son of a bitch, you're right.

They're gonna blitz Darius
the second he touches the ball.

Johnny?

Are you ready to run
the pick-and-roll?

Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,
yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!

Yeah, yeah.
You remember Hermione?

Yep.

-That's it. That's it.
-(others chuckling)

Okay, so you're gonna set
the screen for Darius,

and then
when they double Darius,

you're gonna roll to the basket.

You should be wide open
for the easy layup, okay?

-Yep. All right.
-Yeah? All right.

Bring it in, everybody.

-Come on.
-Okay. Here we go.

One, two, three, Friends!

(arena horn blows)

MARCUS:
Okay.

-(whistle blows)
-Set it up. Pick-and-roll.

Yeah, Johnny. Yeah.

Set the screen. Good.

Yeah, now roll, roll.

-Perfect! Yes!
-SHOWTIME: I'm open.

-I'm open!
-MARCUS: Oh.

No. No!

Johnny, what are you doing?

He said he was open.

Showtime, no!

No...!

("La donna è mobile" playing,
lyrics in Italian)

♪ ♪

-(crowd groaning)
-ANNOUNCER: Ah.

-So close.
-(song ends)

(arena horn blows)

He hit the rim!
Showtime hit the rim!

-He did it! He finally did it!
-(whooping, crowd cheering)

-Way to go! Way to go!
-He hit the rim!

-Showtime hit the rim!
-(laughing)

-You did it, man!
-I always believed in you.

-That's right. He hit the rim.
-He was due.

But he missed.

-Good game, good game.
-Good game, guys. Good game.

(excited chatter, whooping)

COSENTINO: Did you hear them?
There are medals?

ANNOUNCER: And congratulations
to this year's

gold medal winners, The Beasts,

as well as
the silver medal winners,

The Friends!

(chanting): Coach! Coach!
Coach! Coach! Coach!

ANNOUNCER:
Please remain standing

for the upcoming
Special Olympics celebration.

-PLAYERS: Coach! Coach! Coach!
-Guys.

Guys, we lost.
We came here to be champion.

But we're already champions,
Coach.

Yeah, you said that yourself.

Here, take this.
This is for you.

Now you're a champion,
too, Coach.

(chanting):
Champion.

ALL:
Champions! Champions!

Champions! Champions! Champions!

Champions! Champions!

(Marcus joins in):
Champions!

Champions! Champions! Champions!

♪ It doesn't matter
what they say when they see me ♪

♪ It doesn't matter what
they're thinking about me ♪

♪ It doesn't matter
if my name's on the marquee ♪

♪ Things they can call me,
'cause I know who I see ♪

♪ Because we got a heart
like a lion ♪

♪ And we're never giving up
when we fightin' ♪

♪ Standing taller than the fear,
we're not frightened ♪

♪ 'Cause we're united
like thunder and lightnin' ♪

-♪ Yeah ♪
-Yeah!

♪ Don't matter
where we're from ♪

-(whooping)
-♪ We reached the peak as one ♪

♪ 'Cause love is the champion ♪

♪ Love is the champion,
love is the champion ♪

♪ Don't matter
where we're from ♪

♪ We reached the peak as one ♪

♪ 'Cause love is the champion ♪

-♪ Love is the champion ♪
-(whooping)

♪ Love is the champion. ♪

(song ends)

(whooping)

(cheering)

MARCUS:
Oh, yeah!

ALEX:
What was it? What was it?

-Benny, 12.2 seconds!
-No way.

-New world record!
-Yeah!

(cheering)

-Yeah!
-Yeah!

-(excited chatter)
-Hey, good job.

(Alex chuckles)

-12.2. Do you believe it?
-That's very impressive.

-(Marcus grunts)
-(playful chatter continues)

So, Johnny's moving into
the group home with the guys.

You know, I had a feeling.

So, all good?

Yeah. He's gonna be fine.

-You okay?
-Yeah.

Yeah. I'm good.

Change is good, right?

Yeah.

So, speaking of change,
when are you off to Seattle?

I'm not.

What do you mean?

Well...

I called them,
said I'm not coming.

Uh, you were right.

Those guys are dicks.

I don't want to be the fig leaf
covering those dicks.

Did I go long with that analogy?

I-I stopped listening
after I heard that I was right.

(laughing)

It just kind of seems like
you want to say "dicks" a lot.

JOHNNY: Come on, Coach!
Come in the pool!

-Come on, Coach.
-Oh, come on.

-(all pleading)
-Don't be a chicken.

Come on, Coach.

(chanting):
Coach. Coach. Coach. Coach.

All right, all right.
Fine, I-I'm doing it.

Coach. Coach. Coach.

Watch out!

("Tell Somebody That
You Love 'Em Right Now" playing)

(cheering)

(laughter)

(excited chatter, whooping)

♪ Stop the whole world somehow ♪

♪ Somebody out there
has a hole inside their soul ♪

-(whoops) -♪ That needs
some feelings from you ♪

(indistinct chatter)

♪ And could you shine
your light now? ♪

♪ Like you open up a door
and you let 'em fly out ♪

♪ Three little words... ♪

SONNY:
Okay, Friends, listen up.

We can do this all day.

I have nowhere else to be.

Now let's run it again,
and this time,

I want to see some effort,
all right?

-Let's go!
-(whistle blows)

(indistinct chatter)

There you go. There you go.

♪ Becomes yesterday, hey... ♪

All right.

Where did you get this guy?

-And again!
-(whistle blows)

Hustle!
Hustle doesn't take a break.

Isn't that right, Marcus?

(Sonny laughs)

(both chuckling)

♪ Stop the world somehow ♪

♪ We all need the same things ♪

♪ Everybody just wants to love
and to be loved... ♪

This is unbelievable.

I-I can't
thank you enough, Phil.

Thank Darius.
He was scouting you all season.

I just passed his report on
to some friends here.

Now, don't-don't get too cocky.

I still have the best
coaching job in Des Moines.

Ah, I wouldn't be
so sure about that.

Any time you want to scrimmage?

You're on.

Just remember, in college,
they don't play quarter.

It's two 20-minute halves.

Shot clock is 30 seconds.

-Yeah, yeah. -Oh, and knocking
coaches on their ass,

-it-it's frowned upon.
-Hey, get out of my gym.

I got a practice to run.

All right.

♪ Tell somebody that
you love 'em right now ♪

♪ Tell somebody
that you love 'em now. ♪

(song ends)

(piano playing gentle music)

♪ Sometimes life ♪

♪ Takes you under ♪

♪ Storm and thunder seem ♪

♪ To be the only sound ♪

♪ And sometimes life ♪

♪ Is a battle ♪

♪ A struggle
just to keep your smile ♪

♪ From turning to a frown ♪

♪ And I get knocked ♪

-♪ Down, but I get up again ♪
-("Tubthumping" playing)

♪ You're never gonna
keep me down ♪

♪ I get knocked down,
but I get up again ♪

♪ You're never gonna
keep me down ♪

♪ I get knocked down,
but I get up again ♪

♪ You're never gonna
keep me down ♪

♪ I get knocked down,
but I get up again ♪

♪ You're never gonna
keep me down ♪

♪ Pissing the night away ♪

♪ Pissing the night away ♪

♪ He drinks a whiskey drink,
he drinks a vodka drink ♪

♪ He drinks a lager drink,
he drinks a cider drink ♪

♪ He sings the songs that
remind him of the good times ♪

♪ He sings the songs
that remind him ♪

♪ Of the better times ♪

♪ Oh, Danny Boy ♪

♪ Danny Boy, Danny Boy ♪

♪ I get knocked down,
but I get up again ♪

♪ You're never gonna
keep me down ♪

♪ I get knocked down,
but I get up again ♪

♪ You're never gonna
keep me down ♪

♪ I get knocked down,
but I get up again ♪

♪ You're never gonna
keep me down ♪

♪ I get knocked down,
but I get up again ♪

♪ You're never gonna
keep me down ♪

♪ ♪

♪ I get knocked down,
but I get up again ♪

♪ You're never gonna
keep me down ♪

♪ I get knocked down,
but I get up again ♪

♪ You're never gonna
keep me down ♪

♪ I get knocked down,
but I get up again ♪

♪ You're never gonna
keep me down ♪

♪ I get knocked down,
but I get up again ♪

♪ You're never gonna
keep me down ♪

♪ I get knocked down,
but I get up again ♪

♪ You're never gonna
keep me down ♪

♪ I get knocked down,
but I get up again ♪

♪ You're never gonna
keep me down ♪

♪ I get knocked down,
but I get up again ♪

♪ You're never gonna
keep me down... ♪

-(song fades)
-(cheering)

("Brighter Day" by Michael
Franti and Spearhead playing)

♪ Don't give up
when your heart is weary ♪

♪ Don't give up when
your eyes are teary ♪

♪ Don't give up
when your voice is trembling ♪

♪ When your life needs mending ♪

♪ Don't give up
when the hurt is near you ♪

♪ Don't give up when the world
seems to be broken ♪

♪ I'm still hopin' ♪

♪ With my heart open ♪

♪ Ay, ay ♪

♪ For a brighter day ♪

(chorus vocalizing)

♪ Don't give up when
your pride is bruised and ♪

♪ Don't give up when you fear
you're losin' ♪

♪ Don't give up
in your darkest hour ♪

♪ 'Cause you got that power ♪

♪ Don't give up
when you feel divided ♪

♪ Don't give up,
I'll be by your side unbroken ♪

♪ I'm still hopin' ♪

♪ With my heart open ♪

♪ Ay, ay ♪

♪ For a brighter day ♪

(chorus vocalizing)

♪ And if you stay with me ♪

♪ I will stay with you ♪

♪ For a brighter day ♪

(chorus vocalizing)

♪ For a brighter day ♪

♪ For a brighter day ♪

♪ For a brighter day ♪

♪ Don't give up,
you just keep on fighting ♪

♪ Don't give up, you just
keep on fighting ♪

♪ Don't give up,
you just keep on fighting ♪

♪ Even when your eyes
are crying ♪

♪ Don't give up,
you just keep on fighting ♪

♪ Don't give up ♪

-♪ You just keep on fighting ♪
-♪ Don't give up ♪

♪ Even when your eyes
are crying, yeah ♪

♪ For a brighter day ♪

(chorus vocalizing)

♪ For a brighter day ♪

♪ For a brighter day ♪

♪ For a brighter day ♪

♪ And if you stay with me ♪

♪ I will stay with you ♪

♪ For a brighter day ♪

♪ Don't give up,
you just keep on fighting ♪

♪ For a brighter day. ♪

-(song ends)
-(crowd chattering)

MAYA: Come on, defense!
Let's go, defense. Let's get--

Roll back. Roll back.

Roll back.

Here we go. Okay.

(whooping, cheering)

(Showtime laughing)

Wow! That's pretty good.

-(Showtime laughing)
-(chatter fades)