Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,746 --> 00:00:05,245
- Oh.
- Hey.
2
00:00:05,246 --> 00:00:06,332
Hi.
3
00:00:06,432 --> 00:00:08,130
I only have a few minutes
till I have to open the cafe.
4
00:00:08,654 --> 00:00:10,062
How was your stud sesh?
5
00:00:10,807 --> 00:00:12,132
That's an abbreviation
for studio session.
6
00:00:12,158 --> 00:00:14,083
I was trying to save time,
which we have now wasted.
7
00:00:15,661 --> 00:00:18,087
Stud sesh was a buh.
8
00:00:19,148 --> 00:00:20,664
A bust.
9
00:00:20,817 --> 00:00:22,817
I wrote this beautiful
song at 3:00 a.m.,
10
00:00:22,835 --> 00:00:24,242
and then I realized it was just
11
00:00:24,411 --> 00:00:25,669
"Take Me Home, Country Road".
12
00:00:25,822 --> 00:00:27,171
And when I say "I realized,"
13
00:00:27,265 --> 00:00:29,599
I mean the sound guy said,
"Dude, you just stole that."
14
00:00:30,435 --> 00:00:31,685
Well, am I going to see you tonight?
15
00:00:31,752 --> 00:00:32,829
I thought maybe we could write, uh,
16
00:00:32,829 --> 00:00:35,162
"Let's Get It On" together.
17
00:00:35,255 --> 00:00:36,255
I wish.
18
00:00:36,256 --> 00:00:37,923
I'm back in the studio.
19
00:00:38,092 --> 00:00:39,183
How about this?
20
00:00:39,335 --> 00:00:42,612
You go into work an hour late,
and we write "Super Freak".
21
00:00:42,839 --> 00:00:44,505
I can't. Randi's coming in late,
22
00:00:44,523 --> 00:00:45,597
so I have to open up.
23
00:00:45,766 --> 00:00:47,024
But I could take an early lunch
24
00:00:47,101 --> 00:00:48,934
and we could have a
little "Afternoon Delight"?
25
00:00:49,028 --> 00:00:51,603
I can't, I've got to meet up
with this singer, Zoey Monroe.
26
00:00:51,623 --> 00:00:52,623
- Really?
- Yeah.
27
00:00:52,624 --> 00:00:53,624
Does it have to be today?
28
00:00:53,699 --> 00:00:54,699
I miss you so much,
29
00:00:54,851 --> 00:00:55,866
I've been leaving one leg hairy
30
00:00:55,943 --> 00:00:57,442
just so it feels like you're there.
31
00:00:57,611 --> 00:00:59,778
Aw, I miss you, too.
32
00:00:59,797 --> 00:01:02,465
No, she's coming in from
Tennessee just to meet me.
33
00:01:02,592 --> 00:01:03,635
- Oh.
- Oh, it's a good thing.
34
00:01:03,635 --> 00:01:04,859
She's got a little buzz going,
35
00:01:04,877 --> 00:01:06,377
and my manager is hoping we get along,
36
00:01:06,529 --> 00:01:07,953
maybe record some songs together.
37
00:01:08,122 --> 00:01:10,598
Hopefully, she hasn't
heard of John Denver.
38
00:01:12,126 --> 00:01:15,144
How about this? Tomorrow
night, we go to dinner.
39
00:01:15,371 --> 00:01:16,371
Okay, perfect.
40
00:01:16,463 --> 00:01:17,721
Until then,
41
00:01:17,874 --> 00:01:20,875
got a sexy little
surprise to tide you over.
42
00:01:20,893 --> 00:01:24,320
- Mmm.
- It's a naughty picture of me.
43
00:01:25,472 --> 00:01:26,805
If that's you naked,
44
00:01:26,824 --> 00:01:28,883
maybe we should spend
some more time outside.
45
00:01:28,901 --> 00:01:31,902
No, I enlarged the picture,
cut it up into pieces
46
00:01:31,979 --> 00:01:33,721
and I hid the pieces all over.
47
00:01:33,739 --> 00:01:36,891
When you find them, you
assemble them on this board.
48
00:01:36,893 --> 00:01:38,817
It combines the fun of a scavenger hunt
49
00:01:38,836 --> 00:01:41,003
with the sexiness of a puzzle. Mmm.
50
00:01:41,230 --> 00:01:42,672
Boobs, boobs.
51
00:01:42,899 --> 00:01:45,065
Where would you hide the boobs?
52
00:01:46,068 --> 00:01:47,584
First clue: check the fruit bowl
53
00:01:47,737 --> 00:01:50,554
for a different kind of melon.
54
00:01:52,332 --> 00:01:54,299
This is your head.
55
00:01:54,410 --> 00:01:56,243
Also known as my melon.
56
00:01:56,262 --> 00:01:57,578
The game is afoot,
57
00:01:57,671 --> 00:01:59,263
which you might find a picture of
58
00:01:59,415 --> 00:02:01,173
on the shoe rack.
59
00:02:01,192 --> 00:02:02,750
Ooh, I like this game.
60
00:02:02,843 --> 00:02:04,268
When I find the picture of your feet,
61
00:02:04,420 --> 00:02:05,436
can I give it to the sound guy?
62
00:02:05,530 --> 00:02:07,571
I need to get back on his good side.
63
00:02:13,371 --> 00:02:14,762
What up, YouTube?
64
00:02:14,855 --> 00:02:16,855
It's time for another
episode of Hot Lots.
65
00:02:16,933 --> 00:02:19,099
'Cause, according to our 54 subscribers,
66
00:02:19,118 --> 00:02:20,267
I am still hot.
67
00:02:20,286 --> 00:02:22,269
And I'm still a lot.
68
00:02:22,288 --> 00:02:23,787
And I'm Frenzy Boy,
69
00:02:23,940 --> 00:02:25,697
from the YouTube channel
Pranking Pedestrians.
70
00:02:25,791 --> 00:02:28,300
Link in the comments.
71
00:02:33,106 --> 00:02:36,300
Now it's time to show you
the pièce de résistance
72
00:02:36,452 --> 00:02:37,634
of our bathroom remodel:
73
00:02:37,787 --> 00:02:40,378
our fancy new Japanese toilet.
74
00:02:40,398 --> 00:02:43,624
Domo arigato, Toilet Roboto.
75
00:02:43,642 --> 00:02:46,977
Ooh, check out this heated seat.
76
00:02:47,129 --> 00:02:49,029
Ooh.
77
00:02:49,890 --> 00:02:52,483
Now, when it's warm, I know
it's not because this guy
78
00:02:52,577 --> 00:02:53,636
was sitting here for half an hour,
79
00:02:53,636 --> 00:02:55,393
watching Illuminati videos.
80
00:02:55,488 --> 00:02:57,805
Who are they and what do they want?
81
00:02:58,750 --> 00:03:00,565
All right, let's take
you into the kitchen
82
00:03:00,585 --> 00:03:02,752
and show you where we're putting
in our brand-new cabinets,
83
00:03:02,903 --> 00:03:05,145
right after a word from our sponsors.
84
00:03:05,239 --> 00:03:08,040
Just kidding, Home Depot
hasn't responded to my DMs yet,
85
00:03:08,092 --> 00:03:09,500
but they will.
86
00:03:09,594 --> 00:03:11,743
Darren, go get ready to film
us crossing into the kitchen.
87
00:03:11,837 --> 00:03:16,849
Cool, but when that camera's
rolling, it's Frenzy Boy.
88
00:03:20,179 --> 00:03:21,854
Uh-oh.
89
00:03:23,090 --> 00:03:24,756
Oh, what the hell?
90
00:03:24,776 --> 00:03:25,776
Okay,
91
00:03:25,851 --> 00:03:27,184
I don't want to point any fingers,
92
00:03:27,336 --> 00:03:28,593
but what did you do?
93
00:03:28,762 --> 00:03:30,428
Me? Why is this my fault?
94
00:03:30,448 --> 00:03:31,972
It's always your fault.
95
00:03:32,858 --> 00:03:34,617
You told me to install the cabinets,
96
00:03:34,768 --> 00:03:37,269
so I installed the cabinets.
97
00:03:37,363 --> 00:03:39,346
But now there's water
coming out of them.
98
00:03:39,515 --> 00:03:41,606
And they're straight.
99
00:03:41,700 --> 00:03:43,459
Just go turn the water off!
100
00:03:43,610 --> 00:03:44,852
Well, stop yelling at me.
101
00:03:44,945 --> 00:03:47,630
You know I can't think
when my toes are wet.
102
00:03:49,692 --> 00:03:51,859
Hey, do you want to,
uh, come over tonight?
103
00:03:52,028 --> 00:03:54,545
Open some wine, watch
Terms of Endearment.
104
00:03:54,697 --> 00:03:56,788
You'll like it, the
daughter dies in the end.
105
00:03:56,882 --> 00:03:59,383
Oh, sweetheart, I don't want you dead.
106
00:03:59,477 --> 00:04:01,718
I just want you completely different.
107
00:04:03,039 --> 00:04:06,298
Unfortunately, I have plans.
Max working late again?
108
00:04:06,392 --> 00:04:08,150
Yeah, he writes all
day, records all night.
109
00:04:08,302 --> 00:04:10,210
He does leave me cute
little notes, though.
110
00:04:10,262 --> 00:04:12,212
"Miss you." "Love you."
111
00:04:12,306 --> 00:04:13,397
"Touch my last Choco Taco
112
00:04:13,566 --> 00:04:15,574
and I'll give you bangs in your sleep."
113
00:04:16,235 --> 00:04:17,885
- Hey.
- Hey.
114
00:04:17,903 --> 00:04:19,903
You're wearing your
Kat's Café baseball cap.
115
00:04:20,056 --> 00:04:22,406
Does this mean our
kickball team is back on?
116
00:04:22,558 --> 00:04:23,648
It means I couldn't shower
117
00:04:23,668 --> 00:04:24,918
because we had to turn our water off,
118
00:04:25,077 --> 00:04:26,484
and this hat has been
in my car since the day
119
00:04:26,504 --> 00:04:27,728
you gave it to me.
120
00:04:27,746 --> 00:04:29,413
Why'd you have to turn your water off?
121
00:04:29,565 --> 00:04:32,508
Oh, well, I hate to spoil this
week's episode of Hot Lots,
122
00:04:32,735 --> 00:04:35,052
but long story short, Carter's an idiot.
123
00:04:36,405 --> 00:04:37,513
I think kickball could be fun.
124
00:04:37,740 --> 00:04:39,907
It's hard to make friends as an adult.
125
00:04:39,925 --> 00:04:42,059
Friends who kick
together, stick together.
126
00:04:43,503 --> 00:04:44,912
Carter punctured a pipe,
127
00:04:44,930 --> 00:04:46,504
and so now our apartment is flooded.
128
00:04:46,599 --> 00:04:48,006
Oh, that's awful.
129
00:04:48,007 --> 00:04:49,009
Yeah, it's horrible.
130
00:04:49,009 --> 00:04:50,250
You know what's not horrible?
131
00:04:50,344 --> 00:04:52,194
Kickball against rival
neighborhood businesses.
132
00:04:53,030 --> 00:04:56,533
Anyway, now we have to find some
place to stay for a couple days.
133
00:04:56,534 --> 00:04:57,758
See, if we had a game against
134
00:04:57,776 --> 00:04:59,368
Courtyard by Marriott in Clarkesville,
135
00:04:59,519 --> 00:05:00,779
we wouldn't even be
having this conversation.
136
00:05:00,779 --> 00:05:02,022
I don't know how you feel about
137
00:05:02,022 --> 00:05:03,539
staying in a senior community,
138
00:05:03,690 --> 00:05:05,449
but I have an extra room.
139
00:05:05,601 --> 00:05:07,935
Oh, girl, I'm down. I love old people.
140
00:05:08,028 --> 00:05:09,453
They're the only ones
who don't feel the need
141
00:05:09,605 --> 00:05:10,697
to tell me that they voted for Obama.
142
00:05:10,697 --> 00:05:12,289
Terrific, we'll make a night of it.
143
00:05:12,441 --> 00:05:15,442
Wait, hold on, when I asked
you to hang out, you had plans.
144
00:05:15,461 --> 00:05:17,202
Yeah, I lied.
145
00:05:17,296 --> 00:05:20,280
Anyway, come over after work.
146
00:05:20,299 --> 00:05:21,375
You know, I'm going to go upstairs
147
00:05:21,375 --> 00:05:22,933
and eat Max's last Choco Taco.
148
00:05:24,211 --> 00:05:26,470
Don't ever tell her
that we play kickball.
149
00:05:26,622 --> 00:05:28,731
* You can walk, you can run *
150
00:05:28,882 --> 00:05:31,400
* Tell yourself I'm not the one *
151
00:05:31,569 --> 00:05:34,144
* But I'm here *
152
00:05:34,238 --> 00:05:35,238
* But I'm *
153
00:05:35,389 --> 00:05:37,072
* Here. *
154
00:05:37,224 --> 00:05:38,632
Ooh, I like that.
155
00:05:38,725 --> 00:05:40,409
John Denver didn't write it, did he?
156
00:05:40,636 --> 00:05:42,302
No, it's good.
157
00:05:42,396 --> 00:05:44,246
Not as good as this Choco Taco.
158
00:05:44,415 --> 00:05:45,656
Okay, who's the hot blonde,
159
00:05:45,750 --> 00:05:48,475
and why is she eating my Choco Taco?
160
00:05:48,568 --> 00:05:50,902
Hey, who's this?
161
00:05:50,996 --> 00:05:52,070
Hey, Kat.
162
00:05:52,089 --> 00:05:53,089
This is Zoey.
163
00:05:53,240 --> 00:05:54,815
Remember, the singer I told you about?
164
00:05:54,833 --> 00:05:56,500
Yes, yes, you did,
165
00:05:56,652 --> 00:05:58,835
and I, like a fool, did not Google her.
166
00:05:58,930 --> 00:06:01,171
Hi, Kat. Nice to meet you.
167
00:06:01,265 --> 00:06:02,414
Yeah, nice to meet you, too.
168
00:06:02,433 --> 00:06:04,916
Whoa, look at those shorts.
169
00:06:05,436 --> 00:06:06,510
Someone didn't get the memo
170
00:06:06,604 --> 00:06:08,479
Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow.
171
00:06:09,665 --> 00:06:11,331
You two actually have a lot in common.
172
00:06:11,350 --> 00:06:12,833
Uh, Zoey likes cats.
173
00:06:12,851 --> 00:06:14,443
She... Uh, tell her
what you said about cats.
174
00:06:14,670 --> 00:06:17,112
I like cats.
175
00:06:17,264 --> 00:06:18,855
Twinsies.
176
00:06:19,766 --> 00:06:21,675
Thanks so much for letting
us use your apartment.
177
00:06:21,768 --> 00:06:23,026
I love all the googly eyes.
178
00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:24,653
It makes you feel like
you're surrounded by friends.
179
00:06:24,730 --> 00:06:26,121
But I don't know how you eat the fruit
180
00:06:26,290 --> 00:06:27,514
once you're attached.
181
00:06:27,533 --> 00:06:28,740
I can't eat anything with a face,
182
00:06:28,793 --> 00:06:31,502
which sucks because
I love Teddy Grahams.
183
00:06:32,463 --> 00:06:33,921
I'm gonna go to the bathroom now.
184
00:06:34,948 --> 00:06:36,857
* You can walk, you can run *
185
00:06:36,992 --> 00:06:39,451
* Tell yourself I'm not the one... *
186
00:06:39,470 --> 00:06:41,119
This is who you're collaborating with?
187
00:06:41,197 --> 00:06:43,138
What, Kate Upton was not available?
188
00:06:44,291 --> 00:06:45,532
To be fair, when I Googled her,
189
00:06:45,625 --> 00:06:47,726
her pictures were not that hot.
190
00:06:48,479 --> 00:06:49,979
Not that she's hot.
191
00:06:50,130 --> 00:06:51,296
She's fine. She...
192
00:06:51,390 --> 00:06:52,630
She likes cats.
193
00:06:52,725 --> 00:06:54,208
I'm just seeing so little of you,
194
00:06:54,301 --> 00:06:56,318
so it's hard watching
you have such a great time
195
00:06:56,545 --> 00:06:57,635
with somebody else.
196
00:06:57,730 --> 00:06:58,821
Look, I know it's tough,
197
00:06:58,972 --> 00:07:00,305
but she's-she's really talented,
198
00:07:00,474 --> 00:07:01,806
and she's super connected.
199
00:07:01,884 --> 00:07:03,492
Last summer, she opened for the guy
200
00:07:03,643 --> 00:07:04,809
who opened for the girl
201
00:07:04,829 --> 00:07:07,404
who opened for Blake Shelton's opener.
202
00:07:07,498 --> 00:07:09,848
Uh, so this is a little awkward.
203
00:07:09,850 --> 00:07:10,850
I was drying my hands,
204
00:07:10,984 --> 00:07:13,335
and a boob fell out of the towel.
205
00:07:14,396 --> 00:07:16,296
A picture of a boob.
206
00:07:18,509 --> 00:07:20,634
I assume this goes...
207
00:07:21,570 --> 00:07:23,086
... here.
208
00:07:23,163 --> 00:07:25,889
Oh, great, she's good at puzzles, too?
209
00:07:32,172 --> 00:07:33,463
Uh, Sheila,
210
00:07:33,615 --> 00:07:36,933
do you have any spices
that don't end in "oxodil"?
211
00:07:37,770 --> 00:07:39,862
I find a freshly ground amphetamine
212
00:07:40,013 --> 00:07:43,423
really balances out
a citrus vinaigrette.
213
00:07:43,442 --> 00:07:45,108
How are your onions coming, babe?
214
00:07:45,277 --> 00:07:46,702
Oh.
215
00:07:47,521 --> 00:07:49,112
Call me Johnson & Johnson
216
00:07:49,281 --> 00:07:51,022
'cause I've got no more tears.
217
00:07:52,101 --> 00:07:54,668
You look like if Detroit
had a space program.
218
00:07:56,530 --> 00:07:58,630
It's so nice having you two here.
219
00:07:59,699 --> 00:08:01,291
Here's to the future newlyweds.
220
00:08:01,385 --> 00:08:03,218
Oh.
221
00:08:03,295 --> 00:08:05,036
It's also refreshing
222
00:08:05,056 --> 00:08:07,056
to have a couple over
without the expectation
223
00:08:07,207 --> 00:08:08,298
of being their third.
224
00:08:09,668 --> 00:08:12,561
So, how are the wedding plans coming?
225
00:08:12,788 --> 00:08:14,454
- So great.
- Oh, I'm gonna kill myself.
226
00:08:14,548 --> 00:08:16,473
We just have so much going on
227
00:08:16,567 --> 00:08:17,958
between that and the reno.
228
00:08:17,976 --> 00:08:19,234
What faucets for the kitchen?
229
00:08:19,461 --> 00:08:20,552
What tile for the bathroom?
230
00:08:20,571 --> 00:08:22,237
Do we invite Drake to the wedding?
231
00:08:22,389 --> 00:08:24,314
I said no, but then I thought
232
00:08:24,466 --> 00:08:26,241
maybe he'd walk me down the aisle.
233
00:08:27,136 --> 00:08:28,969
Have you picked a song
for your first dance?
234
00:08:29,062 --> 00:08:32,397
Oh, I want something romantic
like "At Last" by Etta James
235
00:08:32,416 --> 00:08:34,566
or "Baby Got Back"
by Sir Mix-a-Lot.
236
00:08:34,585 --> 00:08:36,919
We should skip the
formal dance altogether.
237
00:08:37,146 --> 00:08:39,162
Between the two of us,
we have three left feet,
238
00:08:39,315 --> 00:08:40,480
and they're all his.
239
00:08:40,574 --> 00:08:41,924
Well, that's because
you won't let me lead.
240
00:08:42,075 --> 00:08:45,319
Do you know how emasculating
it is to be dipped?
241
00:08:45,321 --> 00:08:46,929
Though I did feel very safe.
242
00:08:49,100 --> 00:08:50,415
Show me what you're working with.
243
00:08:50,625 --> 00:08:52,601
Oh, I'll show you my dance moves.
244
00:08:52,752 --> 00:08:55,437
But Sheila, you've got to promise
245
00:08:55,664 --> 00:08:57,013
not to fall in love with me.
246
00:08:58,851 --> 00:09:00,667
What... Get your hands off my butt.
247
00:09:00,760 --> 00:09:03,687
I can't help it, it's
like a damn magnet.
248
00:09:03,839 --> 00:09:05,355
Now, will you just follow my lead?
249
00:09:05,507 --> 00:09:06,757
No, I don't like where you're going.
250
00:09:06,784 --> 00:09:08,099
- Well, let me go...
- I don't like...
251
00:09:08,119 --> 00:09:09,176
Just a second...
252
00:09:09,345 --> 00:09:11,620
Well, I know the part of the wedding
253
00:09:11,847 --> 00:09:13,347
when I'm gonna step out to get high.
254
00:09:13,365 --> 00:09:14,957
I'll join you.
255
00:09:16,201 --> 00:09:17,868
And just as he was
going for the high note,
256
00:09:17,962 --> 00:09:20,129
it's like we were watching
him go through puberty.
257
00:09:21,448 --> 00:09:22,689
- Hi.
- Hey.
258
00:09:22,782 --> 00:09:23,857
Wow.
259
00:09:23,876 --> 00:09:26,136
How come you didn't come back
upstairs after the cafe closed?
260
00:09:26,211 --> 00:09:27,211
Oh, you were working.
261
00:09:27,212 --> 00:09:28,528
How'd the songwriting go?
262
00:09:28,547 --> 00:09:30,139
Good, we wrote a pretty
heartbreaking ballad
263
00:09:30,366 --> 00:09:32,883
about how much we're
gonna miss the Choco Taco.
264
00:09:33,215 --> 00:09:36,383
* It's a cold little
slice of sugar heaven *
265
00:09:36,476 --> 00:09:37,901
* Give me a dozen *
266
00:09:38,053 --> 00:09:39,719
* And I'll eat 11 *
267
00:09:39,813 --> 00:09:43,740
* The last one's for you. *
268
00:09:43,834 --> 00:09:45,149
So, yeah,
269
00:09:45,169 --> 00:09:46,393
we killed it.
270
00:09:46,562 --> 00:09:47,894
That's really touching.
271
00:09:47,913 --> 00:09:50,655
It's like "Tears in
Heaven" for a tasty snack.
272
00:09:50,749 --> 00:09:52,916
All right, well,
273
00:09:53,068 --> 00:09:54,845
I got to get going to the
studio. Hey, today was super fun.
274
00:09:54,845 --> 00:09:57,179
Yeah, it is gonna be
great working together.
275
00:09:57,330 --> 00:09:59,739
"It's gonna be great working together."
276
00:09:59,758 --> 00:10:01,332
And I will see you in the morning.
277
00:10:01,352 --> 00:10:04,411
Oh, also, I found the
picture in the cookie jar.
278
00:10:04,471 --> 00:10:06,021
Noice.
279
00:10:07,416 --> 00:10:08,765
You mind if I take a seat?
280
00:10:08,917 --> 00:10:10,100
Please.
281
00:10:10,268 --> 00:10:12,176
I'm gonna be nice to her,
but it's gonna be fake nice,
282
00:10:12,270 --> 00:10:15,012
so if I shoot you a glance,
you'll know what I'm doing.
283
00:10:16,015 --> 00:10:18,200
So, Max told me you used
to be a math professor.
284
00:10:18,351 --> 00:10:22,429
Who's your favorite
mathematician, Purr-thagoras?
285
00:10:22,447 --> 00:10:23,763
What the hell?
286
00:10:23,902 --> 00:10:25,660
How have I never thought of that?
287
00:10:26,479 --> 00:10:29,188
Yeah, that's-that's cute, I guess,
288
00:10:29,241 --> 00:10:32,334
if you like math, cats and puns.
289
00:10:33,228 --> 00:10:34,652
Can I ask you a question?
290
00:10:34,746 --> 00:10:36,004
Do you hate me?
291
00:10:36,155 --> 00:10:38,673
What? Not at all.
292
00:10:38,900 --> 00:10:41,401
That's the look I'm talking about.
293
00:10:42,571 --> 00:10:44,996
I just want you to know, I
am only here for the work.
294
00:10:45,015 --> 00:10:46,906
And the bourbon. When
I was in New Orleans,
295
00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:48,241
I went to Bourbon Street.
296
00:10:48,334 --> 00:10:50,093
I did not know what the
beads meant at first,
297
00:10:50,187 --> 00:10:52,095
and let me tell you, those
frat guys at S-A-E were S-A-D.
298
00:10:52,247 --> 00:10:55,006
My point is, I have no
interest in Max whatsoever.
299
00:10:55,100 --> 00:10:56,173
He's not my type.
300
00:10:56,193 --> 00:10:58,068
Okay, I'm liking her more.
301
00:10:58,770 --> 00:11:00,028
If I glance over again,
302
00:11:00,179 --> 00:11:01,846
it's just to make sure
people are still watching.
303
00:11:01,907 --> 00:11:03,865
I just want us to get
along, 'cause you and Max
304
00:11:04,017 --> 00:11:05,035
are the only people
I know in Louisville,
305
00:11:05,035 --> 00:11:06,868
aside from the guy at the hotel
306
00:11:07,020 --> 00:11:09,162
who said I had pretty toes.
307
00:11:10,857 --> 00:11:12,523
So, Max said you're from Tennessee?
308
00:11:12,543 --> 00:11:14,768
Yeah, a little place
called Stinking Creek.
309
00:11:14,861 --> 00:11:15,861
And, no, that's not a joke.
310
00:11:15,954 --> 00:11:18,772
And yes, it does stink. How about you?
311
00:11:18,790 --> 00:11:20,215
Born and raised in Louisville.
312
00:11:20,366 --> 00:11:21,457
We don't have a stinking creek,
313
00:11:21,610 --> 00:11:23,034
but we do have a pit o' despair.
314
00:11:23,202 --> 00:11:25,461
You'll meet her, she's
the one I call "Mother."
315
00:11:25,614 --> 00:11:26,871
You're funny.
316
00:11:26,890 --> 00:11:28,281
Oh, you're the funny one.
317
00:11:28,300 --> 00:11:31,785
I mean, my best math-cat
pun is Fur Isaac Newton.
318
00:11:31,803 --> 00:11:33,878
How 'bout René DesCat?
319
00:11:33,897 --> 00:11:35,638
He's a genius, you're a gen...
320
00:11:35,732 --> 00:11:38,275
Do you like kickball?
321
00:11:40,571 --> 00:11:42,053
Okay, you're starting
to get the hang of this.
322
00:11:42,130 --> 00:11:44,072
I'm counting. Please don't talk to me.
323
00:11:44,299 --> 00:11:47,725
I'm counting too. You've
stepped on my foot 12 times.
324
00:11:47,744 --> 00:11:49,469
You know what? Let's try this.
325
00:11:49,638 --> 00:11:50,638
* I like big butts *
326
00:11:50,639 --> 00:11:52,472
Oh-ho-ho!
327
00:11:52,490 --> 00:11:54,307
See, this is how I got noticed on TRL.
328
00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:57,493
Those kids from Fall Out
Boy didn't know what hit 'em.
329
00:11:57,588 --> 00:11:58,645
Whoa! Yo.
330
00:11:58,663 --> 00:11:59,737
Hey, come on, Sheila,
331
00:11:59,815 --> 00:12:00,905
show us how you dance.
332
00:12:00,999 --> 00:12:03,741
I call this little
move "The Homewrecker."
333
00:12:06,096 --> 00:12:07,912
Oh, damn, my dancing's so hot,
334
00:12:07,931 --> 00:12:09,172
it set off the fire alarm.
335
00:12:09,266 --> 00:12:11,007
No, it's your onions, fool.
336
00:12:11,101 --> 00:12:13,393
You can't prove it's
not also my dancing.
337
00:12:17,165 --> 00:12:19,816
Hey, we're evacuating, everybody out.
338
00:12:20,518 --> 00:12:22,319
Not without my babies.
339
00:12:29,620 --> 00:12:32,829
Now we know how the lava
caught up to the dinosaurs.
340
00:12:39,779 --> 00:12:41,029
Hey, I've got two great pieces of news.
341
00:12:41,231 --> 00:12:44,232
One: Cat-lyn Jenner is
officially worm free.
342
00:12:44,459 --> 00:12:46,717
And two: I finally found
where you were hiding my...
343
00:12:49,722 --> 00:12:52,298
Is how a girl would scream.
344
00:12:52,317 --> 00:12:54,391
Kat found her damn air horn, huh?
345
00:12:54,411 --> 00:12:55,651
Mm-hmm.
346
00:12:55,954 --> 00:12:57,395
Last night was so fun.
347
00:12:57,546 --> 00:12:59,230
Drinks, dancing, firemen.
348
00:12:59,382 --> 00:13:01,382
It was like a real-life Magic Mike.
349
00:13:01,401 --> 00:13:03,793
Oh, I love that movie.
350
00:13:03,886 --> 00:13:06,053
Is what a girl would say.
351
00:13:06,072 --> 00:13:08,222
Tonight, I was thinking
we could get sushi
352
00:13:08,241 --> 00:13:10,891
and watch my hilarious compilation tape
353
00:13:10,911 --> 00:13:13,869
of Kat's classic fashion fails.
354
00:13:14,162 --> 00:13:17,165
Volume one: Suspenders and headgear.
355
00:13:18,067 --> 00:13:19,918
Suspenders are the perfect place
356
00:13:20,069 --> 00:13:22,328
to display one's collection of buttons.
357
00:13:23,590 --> 00:13:24,865
I think we can stay
at our place tonight.
358
00:13:24,907 --> 00:13:26,407
The plumber said he
should be done by today.
359
00:13:26,459 --> 00:13:28,742
He also said he gave our
new toilet a test run,
360
00:13:28,762 --> 00:13:30,094
so now I kind of want to move.
361
00:13:30,321 --> 00:13:33,005
That reminds me, I got
to be at the bar at 4:00.
362
00:13:33,099 --> 00:13:34,417
Could you meet up with
him and grab our key?
363
00:13:34,417 --> 00:13:35,767
Uh, actually, I have to leave early.
364
00:13:35,918 --> 00:13:37,677
I have a doctor's appointment.
365
00:13:37,829 --> 00:13:39,162
I'm getting my hair done.
366
00:13:39,255 --> 00:13:41,439
Randi, I know you're lying to me,
367
00:13:41,590 --> 00:13:45,501
but I respect the importance
of a Black woman's hair.
368
00:13:45,594 --> 00:13:46,594
I'm an ally.
369
00:13:47,596 --> 00:13:49,113
I voted for Obama.
370
00:13:49,355 --> 00:13:52,331
I'll let Al Sharpton know.
371
00:13:55,953 --> 00:13:57,119
Well, I'm done here at 3:00.
372
00:13:57,272 --> 00:13:58,954
I'm happy to run over and grab your key.
373
00:13:59,107 --> 00:14:00,882
Thanks, Sheila. You know what?
374
00:14:01,033 --> 00:14:03,217
Tell Al about her, too.
375
00:14:04,203 --> 00:14:05,869
Hey, Kat, how's it going?
376
00:14:05,889 --> 00:14:06,962
- Hey.
- Oh, my God.
377
00:14:07,115 --> 00:14:09,706
Look at these little furballs.
378
00:14:09,784 --> 00:14:10,800
Oh.
379
00:14:10,952 --> 00:14:12,952
I just want to rip off
your leg and eat 'em
380
00:14:13,045 --> 00:14:15,379
'cause they're so juicy.
381
00:14:15,473 --> 00:14:17,381
You're kind of a cat
freak. Oh, but that's okay.
382
00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:18,715
So am I. Oh, look at that face.
383
00:14:18,735 --> 00:14:20,884
I'm gonna eat that face right off.
384
00:14:20,904 --> 00:14:22,052
Where's Max?
385
00:14:22,072 --> 00:14:23,145
Oh, he said a spot opened up
386
00:14:23,298 --> 00:14:24,313
at the studio, so he took off.
387
00:14:24,407 --> 00:14:25,407
Oh, awesome.
388
00:14:25,633 --> 00:14:27,316
He and I were supposed to have dinner.
389
00:14:27,410 --> 00:14:29,226
All right, I guess it's mac
and cheese in the bathtub again.
390
00:14:29,304 --> 00:14:31,153
Maybe we can hang out.
391
00:14:31,247 --> 00:14:32,896
You like Vietnamese food?
392
00:14:32,916 --> 00:14:35,808
Uh, I think it's pho-nomenal.
393
00:14:35,827 --> 00:14:38,753
Careful, those puns might start to...
394
00:14:38,904 --> 00:14:40,588
Hanoi me.
395
00:14:43,409 --> 00:14:46,219
Oh, dear God, there's two of them.
396
00:14:47,155 --> 00:14:49,171
Hey, Randi, bad news.
397
00:14:49,324 --> 00:14:51,006
I'm still ankle-deep in water.
398
00:14:51,101 --> 00:14:53,935
Ugh, your plumber says it's
gonna be a couple more days,
399
00:14:54,086 --> 00:14:55,752
so I guess you and Carter
400
00:14:55,772 --> 00:14:57,605
are stuck with me a little longer.
401
00:14:57,756 --> 00:15:00,090
Anyway, I hope you like spicy tuna rolls
402
00:15:00,110 --> 00:15:01,758
'cause that's what
we're having for dinner.
403
00:15:01,853 --> 00:15:04,503
It's also a new dance
move I'm working on.
404
00:15:04,522 --> 00:15:06,447
Okay, see you at home.
405
00:15:07,450 --> 00:15:09,859
All right, now, remember our deal.
406
00:15:10,011 --> 00:15:13,012
You don't take their
calls for a couple of days.
407
00:15:13,105 --> 00:15:14,438
Lady, I'm a plumber.
408
00:15:14,607 --> 00:15:17,416
You don't got to pay me to
ignore people's phone calls.
409
00:15:19,778 --> 00:15:21,187
- * Other DJs say damn *
- * Damn *
410
00:15:21,205 --> 00:15:22,355
* If my rhyme was a drug *
411
00:15:22,523 --> 00:15:23,998
* I'd sell it by the gram *
412
00:15:24,125 --> 00:15:25,625
* Keep my composure when
it's time to get loose *
413
00:15:25,643 --> 00:15:27,051
* Magnetized by the mic *
414
00:15:27,070 --> 00:15:28,378
- * While I kick my juice *
- * Juice *
415
00:15:28,392 --> 00:15:29,966
* If there was a problem *
416
00:15:30,118 --> 00:15:31,418
* Yo, I'd solve it, check out the hook *
417
00:15:31,544 --> 00:15:32,544
* While the DJ revolves it *
418
00:15:32,563 --> 00:15:33,812
* Ice, ice, baby *
419
00:15:35,222 --> 00:15:36,372
* Vanilla *
420
00:15:36,390 --> 00:15:37,765
* Ice, ice, baby *
421
00:15:37,875 --> 00:15:39,224
* Yo, woman, let's
get out of here *
422
00:15:39,319 --> 00:15:40,392
* Word to your mother *
423
00:15:40,545 --> 00:15:41,560
* Word to my mother *
424
00:15:41,712 --> 00:15:43,654
* Hate the way you love me. *
425
00:15:45,900 --> 00:15:47,550
We are killing it.
426
00:15:47,643 --> 00:15:49,327
I bet this is what cocaine feels like.
427
00:15:49,478 --> 00:15:51,495
Right? I know I fell down
twice doing the running man,
428
00:15:51,647 --> 00:15:55,057
but I bet Vanilla Ice would've
asked us to be his Fly Girls.
429
00:15:55,076 --> 00:15:56,241
We should check.
430
00:15:56,394 --> 00:15:58,227
I think he's the guy who parked our car.
431
00:15:59,397 --> 00:16:00,821
Oh, it's Max.
432
00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:01,914
Hey.
433
00:16:02,066 --> 00:16:03,657
Hey, there was a problem
434
00:16:03,676 --> 00:16:05,084
with the sound board at the studio,
435
00:16:05,236 --> 00:16:06,844
so I came home early.
436
00:16:07,071 --> 00:16:08,888
Check your texts.
437
00:16:11,017 --> 00:16:12,017
Oh... Oh!
438
00:16:12,093 --> 00:16:15,335
Whoa, look who's taking racy
photos of themselves now?
439
00:16:15,429 --> 00:16:17,188
Oh, be careful around the cats, though.
440
00:16:17,339 --> 00:16:19,398
They might think that's
a scratching post.
441
00:16:21,268 --> 00:16:22,585
So, are you coming home?
442
00:16:22,587 --> 00:16:25,437
Mmm, actually, Zoey and I...
443
00:16:25,590 --> 00:16:28,107
Snowball. Off. Not a toy.
444
00:16:28,259 --> 00:16:30,350
Zoey and I are doing some karaoke,
445
00:16:30,428 --> 00:16:32,203
and I can confidently say
446
00:16:32,354 --> 00:16:34,096
we're the best singers in the room.
447
00:16:34,115 --> 00:16:35,115
You want to join?
448
00:16:35,208 --> 00:16:37,357
Yeah, he can be Tony when
we do Tony! Toni! Toné!
449
00:16:37,377 --> 00:16:38,450
Oh, no, but I want to be Tony.
450
00:16:38,619 --> 00:16:40,119
- The other Tony.
- Right, yes, great.
451
00:16:40,195 --> 00:16:41,937
Yeah. What do you think?
452
00:16:42,030 --> 00:16:44,215
Uh, I'm gonna pass.
453
00:16:44,442 --> 00:16:46,050
I mean, I've been singing
every night this week.
454
00:16:46,277 --> 00:16:47,568
Why would I want to do karaoke?
455
00:16:47,570 --> 00:16:49,553
Besides, you already
called the good Tony.
456
00:16:50,448 --> 00:16:52,631
Seriously, Max? We've
hardly seen each other,
457
00:16:52,725 --> 00:16:55,451
including tonight when
you blew off our dinner.
458
00:16:55,544 --> 00:16:56,727
I know we haven't seen each other.
459
00:16:56,879 --> 00:16:58,637
That's why I was hoping
you would come home.
460
00:16:58,731 --> 00:17:01,290
Okay, well, I'm not
just gonna bail on Zoey
461
00:17:01,308 --> 00:17:02,476
because you broke the soundboard.
462
00:17:02,476 --> 00:17:03,776
I didn't break it.
463
00:17:03,961 --> 00:17:05,461
But if you're not allowed
to have soda in that room,
464
00:17:05,479 --> 00:17:07,296
there should be a sign.
465
00:17:08,149 --> 00:17:10,482
So you'd really rather
hang out with Zoey?
466
00:17:10,635 --> 00:17:11,635
We're having fun.
467
00:17:11,652 --> 00:17:13,318
Cool, I guess I'll see you whenever.
468
00:17:13,395 --> 00:17:15,395
I guess so.
469
00:17:15,415 --> 00:17:17,581
Snowball, no!
470
00:17:20,128 --> 00:17:21,419
It's fine if you want to go home.
471
00:17:21,587 --> 00:17:23,328
Oh, please. I mean, I'm
supposed to drop everything
472
00:17:23,423 --> 00:17:24,830
just because his plans fell through?
473
00:17:24,982 --> 00:17:27,591
I don't see him giving
up studio time for me.
474
00:17:28,410 --> 00:17:29,835
Trust me, I know how tough
475
00:17:29,987 --> 00:17:31,487
this business is on relationships.
476
00:17:31,580 --> 00:17:34,156
You have to sacrifice
so much to make it.
477
00:17:34,249 --> 00:17:35,674
I don't want to be an afterthought.
478
00:17:36,436 --> 00:17:37,661
You sure you don't want to go home?
479
00:17:37,678 --> 00:17:39,845
I'll go tell Ice to pull the car around.
480
00:17:39,939 --> 00:17:41,254
No.
481
00:17:41,274 --> 00:17:43,107
I just want to sing.
482
00:17:46,020 --> 00:17:48,187
* ... just wobble, baby,
wobble, baby, wobble, baby *
483
00:17:48,263 --> 00:17:50,856
- * What *
- * Wobble, baby, wobble, baby, wobble, baby, wobble, baby *
484
00:17:51,008 --> 00:17:53,358
- Oh!
- * Wobble, baby, wobble, baby, wobble, baby, wobble, baby *
485
00:17:53,453 --> 00:17:55,844
- * Yeah *
- * Wobble, baby, wobble, baby, wobble, baby, wobble, baby *
486
00:17:55,938 --> 00:17:57,288
- * Get in there *
- * What *
487
00:17:57,439 --> 00:17:58,514
* Yeah, yeah *
488
00:17:58,532 --> 00:17:59,773
- Oh!
- * Get in there *
489
00:17:59,867 --> 00:18:01,125
* Yeah, yeah *
490
00:18:01,276 --> 00:18:02,444
* Get in there *
491
00:18:02,444 --> 00:18:03,961
* Yeah, yeah *
492
00:18:04,112 --> 00:18:05,129
* Get in there *
493
00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:06,689
* Yeah, yeah *
494
00:18:06,707 --> 00:18:09,024
Okay, Sheila, have you
done your Ancestry.com?
495
00:18:09,043 --> 00:18:11,210
'Cause I think you've
got some Black in you.
496
00:18:11,362 --> 00:18:14,120
Ernie Hudson, the Black Ghostbuster,
497
00:18:14,215 --> 00:18:15,622
told me the same thing.
498
00:18:15,641 --> 00:18:17,791
Ooh. All right, now that
I've wiggled my wobble,
499
00:18:17,810 --> 00:18:20,460
it's time to show y'all
my signature dance move.
500
00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:22,204
Oh, Lord, give him some room.
501
00:18:24,984 --> 00:18:26,901
Oh, God. Okay. Ooh.
502
00:18:29,322 --> 00:18:31,230
You know who can do that?
503
00:18:31,382 --> 00:18:33,741
Ernie Hudson, the Black Ghostbuster.
504
00:18:35,143 --> 00:18:36,309
Are you okay?
505
00:18:36,329 --> 00:18:37,903
Blink twice if you
need me to help you up.
506
00:18:37,997 --> 00:18:39,163
I can't blink.
507
00:18:39,390 --> 00:18:41,240
Then the tears will fall.
508
00:18:41,334 --> 00:18:42,666
Oh. Okay, okay, slow.
509
00:18:42,893 --> 00:18:44,560
- Okay. Okay, baby. Ah.
- Slow. Mm.
510
00:18:44,653 --> 00:18:46,562
Baby, can you run home
and get my medicine?
511
00:18:46,655 --> 00:18:48,341
- Okay.
- No. No, you don't need to go home.
512
00:18:48,341 --> 00:18:50,582
I have a spice rack full of medicine.
513
00:18:50,676 --> 00:18:52,751
Oh, we just have a specific strain of
514
00:18:52,903 --> 00:18:55,161
"aspirin" that works well
in situations like this.
515
00:18:55,181 --> 00:18:57,014
Yeah, aspirin.
516
00:18:57,241 --> 00:18:58,407
Also, don't forget the weed.
517
00:18:58,467 --> 00:18:59,925
But, wait, you can't go home.
518
00:19:00,077 --> 00:19:01,243
Why not?
519
00:19:01,262 --> 00:19:02,928
Um...
520
00:19:03,022 --> 00:19:05,189
I can't remember.
521
00:19:05,416 --> 00:19:08,442
Oh, the ravages of age.
522
00:19:09,511 --> 00:19:11,362
Okay, Sheila, what's up?
523
00:19:11,513 --> 00:19:12,846
Randi, she just told you.
524
00:19:13,015 --> 00:19:14,907
She old.
525
00:19:16,277 --> 00:19:18,260
Your apartment is fine.
526
00:19:18,353 --> 00:19:19,945
You can go home anytime.
527
00:19:20,097 --> 00:19:23,223
Then why did you tell
us that we couldn't?
528
00:19:24,377 --> 00:19:27,127
Well, this is embarrassing to admit.
529
00:19:28,047 --> 00:19:30,196
I really like you guys.
530
00:19:30,216 --> 00:19:32,049
I can't have a threesome.
531
00:19:32,276 --> 00:19:33,276
I'm injured,
532
00:19:33,444 --> 00:19:34,843
but I can watch you two do stuff.
533
00:19:36,371 --> 00:19:38,222
I mean I like this.
534
00:19:38,449 --> 00:19:40,632
Having you here.
535
00:19:40,726 --> 00:19:43,877
You make me feel... young.
536
00:19:44,397 --> 00:19:46,121
I mean, making friends here is like...
537
00:19:46,214 --> 00:19:50,292
getting attached to the lobster
you pick out in the restaurant.
538
00:19:50,311 --> 00:19:52,461
Why didn't you just ask us to hang out?
539
00:19:52,479 --> 00:19:53,629
I didn't think you'd want to
540
00:19:53,647 --> 00:19:55,464
if you didn't need a place to stay.
541
00:19:55,482 --> 00:19:57,557
Oh, but Sheila, we love
spending time with you.
542
00:19:57,651 --> 00:19:59,934
And Carter's gonna spend a
lot more because he can't move.
543
00:19:59,987 --> 00:20:01,470
How about this?
544
00:20:01,488 --> 00:20:03,080
Why don't we just make a standing date?
545
00:20:03,231 --> 00:20:05,307
Yeah. Yeah, every Thursday
546
00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:06,900
at your place. Dinner and drinks.
547
00:20:06,919 --> 00:20:08,268
And you can show us more of the moves
548
00:20:08,270 --> 00:20:09,828
that you dropped on Ernie Hudson,
549
00:20:09,980 --> 00:20:11,672
the Black Ghostbuster.
550
00:20:12,483 --> 00:20:14,842
That would be wonderful.
551
00:20:17,430 --> 00:20:18,430
Aw.
552
00:20:18,580 --> 00:20:20,505
This is such a sweet moment.
553
00:20:20,658 --> 00:20:22,991
But my boys are
swelling up like oranges,
554
00:20:23,085 --> 00:20:25,728
so somebody get me my damn weed!
555
00:20:31,765 --> 00:20:33,432
* ... look back, don't ever look back *
556
00:20:33,584 --> 00:20:35,526
* I'm-a get your heart racing *
557
00:20:35,753 --> 00:20:37,753
* In my skin-tight jeans *
558
00:20:37,846 --> 00:20:41,440
* Be your teenage dream tonight *
559
00:20:41,534 --> 00:20:43,592
* Let you put your hands on me *
560
00:20:43,685 --> 00:20:45,928
* In my skin-tight jeans *
561
00:20:45,946 --> 00:20:48,280
* Be your teenage dream tonight *
562
00:20:48,432 --> 00:20:51,099
* Tonight, tonight *
563
00:20:53,028 --> 00:20:54,286
Whoops.
564
00:20:54,955 --> 00:20:56,380
You are amazing.
565
00:20:56,531 --> 00:20:58,632
You're amazing.
566
00:21:13,065 --> 00:21:14,456
Everybody!
567
00:21:14,475 --> 00:21:16,216
* I'm-a get your heart racing *
568
00:21:16,310 --> 00:21:17,684
* In my skin-tight jeans *
569
00:21:17,737 --> 00:21:21,463
* Be your teenage dream tonight *
570
00:21:21,482 --> 00:21:23,966
* Baby, put your hands on me *
571
00:21:23,984 --> 00:21:25,984
- * In my skin-tight jeans *
- Skin-tight jeans!
572
00:21:26,136 --> 00:21:28,728
- * Be your teenage dream tonight *
- Teenage dream!
573
00:21:28,748 --> 00:21:30,581
- * Tonight, tonight *
- * Tonight, tonight *
574
00:21:30,808 --> 00:21:32,641
* Tonight, tonight *
575
00:21:32,659 --> 00:21:35,327
* Tonight, tonight. *
576
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:41,000
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
41262
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.