All language subtitles for Bunkd s06e20 Shoe Drops and Chili Plops.eng

I just got a phone bill
for hundreds of dollars

for a landline
I didn't know we had.

Have you seen one around?

Can't say that I have.

Also, can't say that I know
what a landline is.

It's a phone that's
connected by a cord to the wall.

Ah, I get it.

So you could stay
in one place to churn your butter.

Yeah, sure.

[GASPS] Wait a minute.

Here it is.

Were all old-timey phones
shaped like hamburgers?

And do you text on
the bun or the cheese?

There was no texting
back then.

[GASPS] No texting?

This is why your generation
only lives to 27.

[LINE RINGING]

AUTOMATED MESSAGE:
You have reached Dusty Tush Bell.

There are currently
two callers ahead of you.

Thank you for holding.

Your call is sort of
important to us.

[CHEERFUL MUSIC
PLAYING OVER LINE]

Hmm. Farm animals
and smooth jazz.

My worlds have collided.

Also, why does this phone
smell like a hamburger?

ALL:
♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka

Noah. Noah.

You're not
gonna believe this.

Teddy Starr

is coming to Dusty Tush.

Teddy Starr, as in our
favorite shoe designer?

The one and only.

I'm trying to decide
which part of my body

I want to get signed.

I'm leaning
towards my face.

But, like, you wouldn't
scribble on the Mona Lisa.

You guys have a
favorite shoe designer?

Yeah, don't you?

No. I mean,

I have a favorite
button designer

and favorite
zipper designer,

but shoes?

That's just weird.

Teddy Starr is doing
an exclusive shoe drop

in Dusty Tush.

Big deal.

I drop my shoes here
all the time.

Dropped them in the lake
just the other day.

Where's my party?

Jake,

a shoe drop is
when a designer

reveals their sneakers to the
world for the first time.

But he always does his
drops in big cities

like New York or LA.

Why Dusty Tush?
Did he get lost?

Who cares?

Maybe he just likes towns
named after butts,

and we barely beat out
Chunky Bottoms, Idaho.

I'll come with you guys.

I'm still fuzzy on
what's happening

and a visual might help.

Now, where are
my shoes?

Oh, right.

Still in the lake.

Hey, Destiny.

I hope your taste buds
are ready for a treat.

My taste buds died
four summers ago

and are buried in a shallow
grave in the woods of Maine

but I'll give it a try.

Oh, wow. What is this?

That's a bowl of
famous Pickett chili.

It's been handed down in
my family for generations.

To clarify, do you mean
the recipe has

been handed down
for generations

or this exact
bowl of chili?

The recipe.

It's my first time
making it.

Uh-oh.

I didn't mess it up, did I?

Well, the truth is...[SIGHS]

It's so good.
You did such a good job.

But, question.

Does it always taste this...

[CLEARS THROAT]

...flavorful?

Not sure. It was scolding
hot when I tried it

and it burned
my taste buds off.

Now I can't taste anything.

Kind of a blessing
at this camp.

But anyone worthy of
the Pickett name

can make a mean
bowl of this chili.

[CHUCKLING] Don't think
you can get much meaner.

Or more sour?

That settles it.

I'm going to enter it into
the Dusty Tush chili cook-off.

Uh, what? Is that
where we were going?

Thanks for encouraging me
to do this, Destiny.

I did do that,
didn't I?

Oopsies.

Hey, Lou. Can you help me
with something special

I'm planning for
campfire tonight?

I'd ask Destiny, but she's
locked in the bathroom

determined to
"get the chili out."

I'd love to help, but

I'm still on hold
to cancel this landline.

WOMAN ON PHONE:
Howdy hoo, this is Sally Sue. How can I help you?

A real human voice!

I've been on hold
for over an hour.

You seem busy.

I'll find the cattle
prods on my own.

Yeah, sounds good.
Have fun.

Hey, Sally Sue.

I would love to cancel
this landline.

Oh, I wish I could
help you, sweetie,

but this is the
upgrades department.

While I have you, would you
like to get a second line

for the low, low price
of $15 a month?

I want no lines for
zero dollars a month.

Sorry if that wasn't clear.

I'm not sure if
I should be speaking

into the beef
or the cheddar.

All righty, then,
I'll just transfer you to cancellations.

One moment.

No, no. Can't you just help...

AUTOMATED MESSAGE:
There are currently 12 callers ahead of you.

No.

Wait, did Winnie just
say "cattle prods"?

Hello, Jake.

Hello, Jake's
unnecessary umbrella.

I'm protecting myself
from the shoe drop.

What if they're cleats?

Sync your hands up,
Dusty Tush!

Teddy Starr
is in your presence!

Okay, stop clapping.

Dude, I'm so happy.

And I am so jealous
of all of you.

The biggest regret of my life
is not being lucky enough

to meet... [GASPS]

...myself.

It's easy.
Just buy a mirror.

Now, why is world-famous
Teddy Starr in Wyoming

blessing you with his
latest creation?

I don't know.
We're not worthy.

Correct.

But my marketing team said I
lost touch with the common man

after I made my last shoe
out of solid gold.

Apparently, the common man
likes to be able to walk.

We're weirdos.
Forgive us.

Now,

allow Teddy Starr to present
the greatest innovation

in fashion-forward footwear,

the ultra-exclusive TS-19.

[ALL EXCLAIMING]

Shoelaces sold separately.

Good heavens.
They're glorious.

Now twist.

I'm only giving away
two of these TS-19s.

If you want them,

you must compete
against each other

to show Teddy Starr
who his biggest fans are.

Clap now.

Dude, we have to
win those shoes.

Or, pitch on
your pitch,

we leave here with our
self-esteem intact.

Nah, I think
what you think. Self-esteem is overrated.

Hey, Destiny.
You ready for seconds?

Oh, wow! You made
so much more.

Of course. The Pickett
family chili recipe

has won every contest
it's ever been in.

Just like you Destiny.

Please don't compare me to it.

It's just that taste
is so subjective.

Clearly, I love it.

But I'm not a judge
in the chili cook-off.

Destiny Baker, you're gonna be
a judge in the chili cook-off.

No!Yes!

I'm sorry, The Marshal,

what are you talking about?

Well, as the
reigning rodeo queen,

being a judge is
one of your duties.

Lest you thought it was
all fun stuff like

tiaras and
stoplight unveilings.

At least one
of the judges will love my chili.

Who?

Oh, right. Me. Yes. Correct.

Whoever thought
"Mary had a Little Lamb"

was a good choice for hold
music should be thrown

in front of the stabbiest
farm equipment we own.

WOMAN ON PHONE:
Howdy hoo, this Sally Sue. How can I help you?

Sally Sue?

From upgrades?

I thought you
transferred me

to cancellations
two hours ago.

I handle both
departments, dear.

I was doing upgrades
before my lunch break,

and now I'm doing
cancellations.

I'm living proof you
can have it all.

So you took a break
and put me on hold

when you could have just
canceled my line before?

Sweetie, how could I
cancel your line

when I was in upgrade?

But you're not listening.

I'm not listening?

You're not listening.

I demand that you cancel
my landline right now.

Well, I do not appreciate
your tone.

Sounds like someone could
use a few more rounds of

"Mary had a Little Lamb"
to cool their jets.

No, no, no, no.
Do not put me back on...

["MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB"
PLAYING]

Sally Sue!

Lou, is everything okay?

Who's Sally Sue?

Quite possibly the devil.

Do you have a second
to give me some advice?

AUTOMATED MESSAGE:
There are currently 20 callers ahead of you.

Yeah, I've got time.

So Bill wants to enter
the worst chili

I've ever tasted in the
Dusty Tush cook-off.

Well, if you really
think it's that bad,

you should just
tell him the truth.

It's the right thing to do.

Of course it's the
right thing to do.

I was hoping you would tell me
the easy thing to do.

That's why I came to you.
The woman who

"borrows all of
our electricity."

Destiny, shush. This
call is being recorded

for quality
assurance purposes.

I know.

I'll bring a pot of good
chili to the cook-off

and swap it with his.

So that he can just be
embarrassed by his chili

at some other time
in the future?

Exactly.

Hopefully by someone
less afraid of conflict.

You get it.

By the way,

do you know what Winnie's
planning for campfire?

No idea.

I wonder if it has
anything to do with that

beehive and bear trap
I saw her with.

Someone should
really look into that.

Said her counselor!

Riffraff of Dusty Tush,
it is time to find out

who is the biggest
Teddy Starr fanatic.

Other than me, of course.

Huge fan.

How will he decide that?

Maybe a fun game of
shoe trivia?

Or maybe who best rocks
a classic pair of TS-1s?

It's the banana
pants challenge!

Not even close.Not even close.

The two contestants must fit
a whole pile of bananas

into their pants,

then deliver a bowl of
banana pudding to me

across the street

without leaving any pants
bananas behind.

This is bonkers.

Is this the world
I gave up video games for?

Now who will be
Teddy Starr's first victim?

CAMPERS: Me!Let's see. You.

He picked me.
I can't believe it.

And lucky for me,
I wore my stretchiest joggers.

So whoever I'm up against
should be very scared.

And you, super-duper
baggy pants guy.

Oh, come on!

It doesn't matter.

Just think about the shoes
and get to stuffing.

You better watch out.

I eat bananas
for breakfast.

With a little bit
of peanut butter.

Ready, Teddy, go!

If you think you're winning
this competition,

you're bananas!

Teddy Starr does
not appreciate puns.

Teddy Starr thinks
they're lowbrow.

[GRUNTS]

[PANTING]

You are the winner

and we'll be moving on
to the next round.

I won! And yet,

somehow standing here with
pants full of bananas,

I feel like I lost
something important.

In the case of
McBride v. Clarabell,

it is this court's opinion,

that your defense
is pure poppycock.

And that cow did not
tip herself.

Guilty.

And may the farming community
have mercy on your soul.

And now for the next item
on the docket,

the Dusty Tush
chili cook-off.

So many questions running
through my mind but

mostly why is the cook-off
in a courtroom?

This is where I like
to do my judging.

And we couldn't have it
at the rec center next door.

That's where they're
holding the long distance

frog jumping championships.

Of course they are.

Shoot, uh...

Hey, Destiny.

Or should I say, Judge Baker,

number one fan of the
Pickett family chili recipe.

[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]
You could, but you shouldn't.

I better go scope out
my competition.

I saw one kid carrying
a bag of oyster crackers.

Things are gonna get brutal.

Sorry, Bill, but this is
for your own good.

And everyone else's
colon health.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER][GLASS BREAKING]

[CROAKING]

Well, hot dang.
That looks like a new town record.

Teddy Starr is pleased with
the lengths you Dusty Tushians

will go to for his sneakers.

And so Teddy Starr has another
fun competition for

you in the pink plaid

and you.

Yes, I'll do anything,
Teddy, anything.

I present,
the snake box challenge.

Nope. I'm out.

Whoever stays inside
longest, wins.

Come on, Noah,
think about the shoes.

I'm a little busy
thinking about the snakes.

You're not gonna
do this, are you?

Well, he did it.

Parker. I'm kind
of freaking out.

Come over here and talk
to me about those shoes.

Tell me how good
I'm gonna look.

Come on. Noah,
you can do it. I did it.

It's not the same thing,
banana pants!

How long do I have to
be in here for?

Hey, where'd the other
contestant go?

The snake pulled her down.

She's probably being
digested as we speak.

What?

Kidding. She quit.
You win.

I would like

out of this box now!

So I know I'm supposed
to be impartial, but

your chili smells amazing.

I don't know.

Something seems
wrong with it.

Watch.

See. This chili
pours so smooth.

My chili plops
into a bowl.

[SNIFFS] And where's that
burning tire smell?

Bill, relax.

This has to be your chili.

I mean, what could have
possibly happened to it?

I'm kidding. Don't
think about it too hard.

I think one of these
other yahoos heard

how good the famous
Pickett recipe was

and swapped mine out
for bad chili.

You're being
paranoid.

And you can't make wild
accusations without proof.

Hey, I found a pot
of chili under my desk

in the judge's chambers.

Oh, look at that.

Proof.

Let me see.

Thick, chunky and pools
of weirdly-colored oil on top.

We're back in business!

Why do I smell
burning tires?

It's best to breathe
through your mouth.

Man, I really should've
used the bathroom

before I got on a
three-hour phone call. .

Don't think about it.

Don't think about it.

I don't know who you are
or what you do at this camp,

but you are fired.

Hey, Lou. Where do we
keep the ethanol?

What? We don't
have ethanol.

AUTOMATED MESSAGE:
You have chosenespanol. Gracias.

No, not espanol.

I'll just use
the propane tank.

Hey, what do you need
propane for?

[GRUNTS]

Stop taking
advantage of the fact

that I am stuck
to a hamburger.

Look,
it's Parker.

He made it back from
the cave with the flag.

Where's the
other competitor?

He took off when
the bear got close.

How close?

Uh, this close.

Well, on the bright side, it
looks like she got rid of that

troublesome mole.

Congratulations.

We are now down
to the top two fans

in all of Dusty Butt.

Tush.Like it matters.

We did it.

We're each getting a pair
of Teddy Starrs.

Second twist.

Teddy Starr never said he was
giving away two pairs,

just two shoes.

Wordplay. Now that's
highbrow stuff.

Wait, you're only
giving away one pair.

Which one of us
gets them?

Whoever wants it more.

So Parker and I
will have to battle?

Each other?

Yes.

Two men enter,
one man lives.

Only one man lives?

No. It just sounded better
than two men enter,

one man gets shoes,

but still,

it's gonna get spicy.

All right, folks,
it's chili tasting time.

I gave my stomach

a cornbread base
before I got here,

so I am ready to party.

Oh, can I go first?

You're going to die
when you taste my chili.

[LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY]
He's not wrong.

Okay, cowboy,
ladle up some bowls.

[CHILI SQUELCHING]

[GRUNTS SOFTLY]

Well, that looks unnatural.

Hold on to your taste buds.

Another frog! Incoming!

What? Where?

[CLATTERING]

Oh, no!

While we were all looking
for that very real frog,

a jealous contestant

must have
come by and done this.

Oh, confounded, all!

Actually,
not a drop of chili spilled

due to its
gelatinous nature.

Yay. Mine is fine too.

Allow me.

Here goes the airplane
into the hangar...

Hey, I will fly my own plane,

thank you very much.

[MIMICS AIRPLANE BUZZING]

No!

Hey, you just
crashed my plane!

I can't let you
eat this chili.

What are you doing, Destiny?

Bill, I'm sorry,
your recipe is terrible.

Like, really terrible.

It tastes
like a boiled diaper.

When did you
eat a boiled diaper?

Oh, I'm sure
she's just exaggerating.

She is not.

Oh!
[GROANS]

This does not
want to be inside of me.

You think
my chili is terrible?

Thanks for the heads-up

before I embarrass myself
in front of everyone.

Wait, Bill.

Is this chili or cement?

For our final competition,

we will now
decide who gets my new TS-19s

the same way my brother and I

used to decide
who gets the remote control.

Measured conversation?

Tricycle jousting.

You guys can't do this.

We've come too far
to quit now.

Agreed.

It couldn't have ended
any other way.

It literally could

and should have
ended any other way.

Now, joust for Teddy Starr.

Ready! Teddy! Go!

[INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING]

[HORN TOOTING]

[INTENSE MUSIC CONTINUES]

[YELLING]

I don't want to hurt you.

I don't want to
hurt you either.

Yes!

Jake, you were right.

TEDDY: Are you serious?

The only thing
that makes coming to this

nothing town worth it,
is forcing you people

to embarrass yourselves
for my shoes.

My friends are done
humiliating themselves for you

and your super-ugly shoes.

[ALL GASP]

Did you just call
Teddy Starr's shoes ugly?

Jake, they're not ugly,
they're fresh

and unique and...

Actually, yeah, really ugly.

Yeah.

The worst. Is that used
chewing gum on the heel?

Chris Pratt's
used chewing gum.

And now that
I'm saying that out loud,

I realize
these shoes are ugly.

Why didn't anyone tell me
these shoes were a sticky,

minty mess before I made them?

Probably because
they were scared

you'd put them in a snake box.

You are so right.
That is my move.

I am so sorry I put you all

through this
ridiculous contest.

But you three made me see
that if I want to get back

to being
a great shoe designer,

I have to redesign... in here.

That's the spirit,
Teddy Starr.

Oh, that's another thing
I need to change.

Starting now,

I'm going to go
by my birth name,

Herschel Dweebleton.

I mean, you ain't got
to change everything.

Bill, I'm sorry for lying
to you about your recipe.

I should've just been honest
about how your chili tasted.

It's okay.

I'm actually more upset

that I failed
at such a simple tradition.

If I can't even
follow a recipe, what's next?

Going to the family hoedown

and square dancing
in a circle?

How about you show
me the recipe?

We'll make a new
batch together.

Wait. You do realize this page
has two recipes on it, right?

It does?

The one on top
is the award winner.

The one below it is a recipe
for Pickett Family hog slop.

Oh! So that's why it asked

for eight rotten apples
and a pound of grub worms.

If you need me,
I'll be in the bathroom for... ever.

Can't... wait... much longer.

WINNIE: Who is ready
to blow up this campfire?

No, no, no, no, no.
Do not blow up my camp!

[GRUNTS]

There's enough cord here
to leave the mess hall.

Huh. That would've been
a useful discovery...

...seven hours ago!

Winnie, whatever
you're about to do, stop!

[STRUMS GUITAR]

You don't want me
to play my new song?

Wow, Lou, I thought you were
a supporter of the arts.

Wait. That's what
you've been planning? A song?

What about the bear traps
and the cattle prods

and the propane tanks?

Luckily, I got back to camp

just in time to stop her
from doing anything dangerous.

Because I'm
a responsible adult.

Where were you, Lou?

Don't.

Wow, Bill,
this is really good.

Thanks, Destiny.

Whoever wants
some Pickett family chili,

come line up.

WOMAN ON PHONE:
Howdy hoo, this is Sally Sue.

How can I help you?

Oh, yes. Finally.

We've got spicy and mild.

So let's get
a second line going.

Copy that. We'll install

a second line
at your service address.

Thanks for your business,
toodle-oo.

[LINE DISCONNECTS]

Great news, everyone,
we have a landline.

What's a landline?

It's for churning butter.

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

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