All language subtitles for 03. The Stall 1

George.

I'm a murderer.

Look, Lou, I'm not
yanking your chain, okay.

Matter of fact, I just closed
on a massive beef rub deal.

I got a license deal
with McCormick.

All we need is
a few John Hancocks,

and the green
will start rolling in.

Goddamn it, Taffy,

do you know
who you borrowed from?

These are Dallas people.

They send someone down
to deal with you,

they're gonna
deal with you!

I got another call comin' in,
but hear me out.

Just tell 'em everything's
gonna be okay.

It's just, it's all
in escrow, man.

Alright,
I'll talk to you. Bye.

Whew.

Taffy Boyle speakin'.

(on phone) Oh, hi.
This is Michael Larson

from Port Arthur Bank
and Trust,

and I just wanted
to go over...

Nope.

♪ Got in a little trouble ♪

♪ At the county seat ♪

♪ Lawd, they put me
in the jailhouse ♪

Jamie, how's your ma doing?

Oh, her back's
not so good.

Aw, shucks, you know,
I'm gonna give her

a shoutout
on the show tonight.

That'd make
her week, Taff.

Sheriff, you better
have a warrant

the way you harassing
that meat right there.

Brisket's so good,
ought to be illegal.

Look here, everybody:

Don't forget to floss.

And remember
what we like to say,

you know what
our slogan is:

"We'll put the meat
in between your teeth,

but you gonna get it out."

Where have you been?

Come on, Mandy.
Look, I'm not a teleporter.

I got here
as soon as I can.

You need to talk
to your brother.

He's just been standing
in the meat locker

like some kind of ghost.

He's your husband.
You know how he gets.

What's the problem now?
What, the new kid,

he used hickory
instead of apple wood?

This is different, Taffy.

I've never seen him
like this.

Hey, George.

We have built
a temple of carnage.

You bet your ass,
brother, we have.

Oh, whoa, wait a minute.

Uh, look,
look here, George,

when we done
with this beef rub deal,

okay, how about,

how about you and Mandy
take a vacation,

go to the Gulf
and celebrate.

It'd be your
second honeymoon.

Matter of fact, here,
I got the contract right here.

We can get everything
done right--

I don't need a vacation.

I need out.

You need
o-o-out of what?

Out of all of it.

The restaurant,
the beef rub deal,

the self-perpetuating cycle
of endless cruelty.

I'm going vegan, Taffy.

Y-y-you're going vegan?

I no longer want
to participate

in the sale
of animal products.

Okay, uh, George,

you're a renowned pitmaster.

Your whole dang life
has been animal products.

Which is why
this is hard for me.

I'd like to take my half
of the business

and begin the next phase
of my journey.

Come on, man,
you know I can't buy you out.

I don't save like you.

I already spoke
to JJ Ruskin in town,

and he could take
a look at our books.

He'll give us
a fair shake.

What the fuck do JJ Ruskin
know about our books?

Huh? Why the fuck
are you talking to--

He don't know-- Look here,
let me tell you something,

I do my books
a special way

It's only a certain way
I can understand.

JJ Ruskin not gonna understand
how to do my fucking--

Hey, we're going
to figure this out.

Alright? Don't worry.

But this is happening.

Mandy, I feel like...

like everything's
closing in, you know?

I don't know what to do.

Okay...

Now look here, y'all know
I love to run my mouth.

But you have to know
that my brother George

is the real genius.

That's right.
He could take
a piece of meat

and make it
into something divine.

And you know what make George
so good at what he do?

Is how much he cares
about the details.

Now look, I thought
I'd come by one last time,

to see if I can convince you
to change your mind.

Hmm?

You sure?

I'm sure.

How about we do this,
let's, let's--

Why don't we just
sit here and enjoy...

this beautiful sunset.

Mm.

Daddy's ax.

Remember all those

wood-splitting competitions
we would have?

Mm-hmm.
I could not beat you once.

I could not hold a candle
to my brother George.

And Daddy damn sure
made sure I knew that too.

Well, what good's
a mean brisket

without butts
on the benches.

You and Mandy
made this place,

came up with
the radio show.

Floss.
People love the floss.

Yeah, they do love
that floss.

You know,
people take it home and...

use it with they own food.

I'm really going
to miss you.

I really am.

You're going to be alright
without me.

I know.

Everybody!
Why don't we give it up
for my brother George.

♪ Why don't you try
the vibration? ♪

♪ It's number one
in the nation ♪

Taffy, what are you
still doing here?

You're on in five.
I'm going. I'm going.

Don't get your panties
in a twist.

♪ I said it's uptight,
alright, yeah ♪

♪ I got the feeling, yeah ♪

♪ Baby, make it alright ♪

♪ Got to do
the vibration ♪

She's all ready
for you, Mr. Boyle.

I appreciate that, Austin.

And here you go, here's
a little something for you.

Oh.

Enjoy that.

Hey, there, come on,

Belgrade, hmm?

Pineland. Carthage. Nacogdoches.

And any other straggler
that's tuning in.

You know what it is?
It's your source
for everything barbecue.

BBQ-and-A.

And I'm your favourite host...

...Taffy Boyle.

But enough about me.
I want to hear from you.

Caller, you're on the line.

Got some happy customers
here, Taff.

Say hi, everyone.

Hi, everyone!

Hello, everyone.
Back to you.

Now, look, that voice sounded
really familiar to me.

Is that who I think it is,
my sister-in-law Mandy Boyle?

Hey, Mandy.
Won't you do me a favour?

Kick off the show
with the first question.

What you eatin' there, Luce?

Best damn hot links
in the state.

Ooh, best damn
hot links in the state.

You know, so one
of my favourite things

at Boyle Barbecue
is the hot links,

and that's what this show
should be about.

So I think tonight
we ought to talk about

how the sausage gets made.

And I mean it literally.

Now, you guys know
I love to run my mouth,

but you have to know
that my brother George

is the real genius.

That's right. He could
take a piece of meat

and make it
into something divine.

And you know what make George
so good at what he do?

Is how much he cares
about the details.

We used to buy
our hot links from a farm

that shall go unnamed.

But my brother George
had a problem

with the texture
of the casing.

He said to me, "Taffy,

from now on, we're sourcing
our own intestines..."

...the intestine casing,
they're thinking about

the meat inside,
and that's a mistake.

The intestine is like
a beautiful ship

that brings the meat
on a journey...

Shit.

...real careful, real gentle,

so they never see it comin'.

Hey!
Where the fuck
you come from.

Shoo!

Shh. Shh.

Get away from me.

Shit, shit, shit, shit,
shit, shit, shit, shit.

I bet that's why
folks like yourselves

keep comin' back
again and again.

At Boyle's,
we do everything we can

to make sure every last bite
is damn near perfection.

And I want you all to know,
we're mighty grateful to you.

Well, I hope that
answered your question

but I've been goin' on about
hot links for long enough.

Alright.

I think it's about time
we take another call.

How you feel about that?

I-I-I think it's, uh...

I think it's time that
we take another call, okay?

How about that?

Oh, here we go.
Taffy Boyle.

Nobody should know
that much about sausages.

Oh, come on.
Is that you again, Mandy?

You gotta give somebody else
a opportunity to talk.

Come on, now.

Well, I just had
to call in

and tell you what
a damn windbag you are.

Oh, now I'm a windbag.

I really love that, huh.

Let me tell you something,

let you know now,
if you thought that was a lot,

we get plenty of more show
where that came from.

So you better buckle up,
little lady.

We're buckled up, Taffy.

No more long rants
about sausages.

Another great show, Taffy.

It's all about
the details, my friend.

All about the details.

Uh, hey.

Hi. How you doing? Hi.
Your dog is in my car.

Uh, we don't have a dog.

We're a gas station.

Uh...

Okay.
Go on. Disperse.

Ow!

Jesus.

Out. Let's go.

Out the car.

This was a fun bit, but,
ow, it's time to go. Go!

Oh geez, you're so strong.
What's wrong with you?

Ow, geez.

Oh wow, look at this.

Yummy, yummy pork rinds.

All doggies like that.

Come on.
A little Hansel and Gretel.

Okay. You know what?

A little company might be nice.

Ugh. Ugh.

You know what, I'm having
some hard regrets

re: my hospitality.

Oh, Jesus.
Okay, you know what,

how about some music.
Yeah?

Tame the savage whatever.

No?

Radio host:
Did you know
85 percent of Mexicans

have criminal records?

They're erasing us folks. Bullshit.

Radio host:
Us real Americans.

Oh!

Radio host:
Every day the wall
goes unfinished...

This is what you want
to listen to.

Radio host:
...and rapists arrive

on our hallowed soil.

MAGA dog. Perfect.

Radio host:
...malfeasance on the part
of the government.

Listen carefully, Patriots.

The truth train's-a-comin'.

And there she blows,
every hour
on the quarter here

at the Deep State Dispatch.

Oh my god, I'm snapping.
Okay? This is me snapping.

I am snapping
right here.

You racist, homophobic,
anti-Semitic, flatulent,

just... bad dog.

Bad dog!

Yeah, I said it. Uh-huh.

Oh, now you want to get out?

Oh, okay.

You bet your goose-stepping
fascist dog ass.

Very good. Go build a wall,
you jackboot piece of shit.

Oh!

Oh fuck.

Shit.

Hey, hey. Hey, hey, you.
Is that your dog?

Uh, no.

Okay. I just saw you let it out.
What do you mean, no?

That dog has ate
$300 worth of food,
and you're gonna pay for it.

It was a couple of sausages.
Where did you get that math?

Look here, we got a problem,
I'll go tell the sheriff.
He's right at table five.

There is no need to jump
to extremes. I just, uh...

I typically don't carry around
that kind of cash.

How much would you say
a spare tire is worth?

Hey, what's the problem here?

The problem is, is that
her little mangy mutt

has ate half a steer.

Okay, look,
that dog is an asshole.

There's no daylight
between us on that.
I just...

Look, I'm kind of broke,
and I could really use a break.

We could always use
a extra hand in the pit.

George, okay, we're not hiring
some vagabond. Come on.

What do you say? Huh?

Work a shift,
we call it square.

If you like it, you stay on.

Barbecue means many things
around the world.

But in Texas,
it means beef.

And we like
to keep things simple.

Meat, salt, pepper,

and the fourth ingredient, wood.

Now, our main smokers
use a blend of hickory,

apple, mesquite,
and cherry.

Hmm, which one is this?

George, I got no idea.

Good barbecue is like
a symphony,

playing on all five senses,

and a skilled conductor

can pick out
each and every note.

When in doubt,
try tasting it.

Ha, ha. You're adorable.

The reason brisket
needs eight hours

is because of the stall.

What's the stall?

The first hour or two,

the temperature is
steadily increasing

until you reach about 160.

Then you can get
stuck there

for about four, five,
even six hours.

See, the stall is where a...

kind of alchemy takes place.

You pull it at 210,

let it rest for an hour,

and always slice

against the grain.

Now, you see that look
on your face right there,

that's what it's all about.

Mm.

So what's up with
all the floss?
It's everywhere.

Taffy's big innovation
and our trademark quirk.

I think it's great. Bullshit.

Okay, I hate it.

We do all this

and we leave our customers

with a putrid
chemical cinnamon.

It's a... air horn
at the symphony.

Huh.

Meat poet.
Look at you.

These animals give their lives,

and I believe in honouring
their sacrifice

by using
every last part of them.

Are those, uh...

dicks?

Tongue.

It is my absolute
favourite thing
that we make here.

I use pecan
just for this.

An unusual wood.

Hey. That smells different.

Mm-hmm.

Huh.

Does Mandy ever stay
up here with you?

Hmm. She prefers
the house in town.

Must get boring.

Nah.

Alone at night...

I do my best thinking.

You can hear what the universe
is trying to tell you.

Yeah. Sounds boring.
You a movie guy?

You like animals, right?

So, let's see,
we got "Babe"...

what else, "Charlotte's Web,"
and we got "Okja."

Uh, I've only seen
the first half of that one,

but it's pretty cute
so far.

Uh, oh and there's...

George?

I'm a murderer.

So I just said it.

Taffy, I'm out.

So I'm out.

Wow.

Good for you.

You know,
it took guts to do that.

And for what it's worth,
I don't think
you're a murderer.

I think you're
a good person, George.

You, uh...

you live
on the road, right?

Uh... yeah.
Yeah, I guess I do.

So what's it like?

To leave everything behind
and start fresh?

Well, it's, uh...
it's easy.

Too easy maybe.

A life of fresh starts.

But it suits me.

And, yeah, and you get
to meet all sorts of people

and all sorts of lives.

All sorts of lies?
Lives.

But, you know,
sometimes I just,

I take a map,
I pick a spot,

and I head there.

So what are you
going to do?

I have no idea.

And that should scare me,
but it don't.

One thing I do know--
Charlie!

Where did you go?

Oh, I guess
I kind of work here.

Well, I should probably go.

But, uh, what's
the one thing you know?

Don't leave me hanging.
Charlie!

Go on.
I'll tell you later.

Eh, I'll hold you to that.

Hope things
don't get too hectic
in the pit without me.

Oh. Come on, I've had
three whole days of training,

I'm practically a pro.

Hot, hot, hot, holy hell.

Hot, hot.

Geez.
You know, we have fire gloves.

What? Oh God, great.

Okay, your timing is just
chef's kiss, Beto.

Another great show, Taffy.

It's all about
the details, my friend.

All about the details.

How'd it go?

Fine.

Beto, I can't find
the paprika.

Can you go ask George
where it is?

It's...

Help!

Help!

Uh...

you know, I know it's hard
to move forward

from a tragedy like this,

but, um, me and Mandy
discussed this and...

we think
the best way to honour

my brother George's
memory is, um...

is by keeping
Boyle's Barbecue goin' strong.

This place here
brings people together.

Puts smiles on their faces,
meat in their bellies.

And I know that's what
my brother George...

I know that's what
he would have wanted.

Bullshit.

Uh, hey, uh...

I think
I'm gonna hit the road.

You gonna be alright
in the kitchen without me?

It'll probably be easier.

I appreciate the honesty.

I, I know he was going
through some heavy stuff,

but he seemed...

I don't know, happy.

I don't think
that's so unusual

once people have
made up their minds.

You think it could
have been an accident?

Nah. Sheriff confirmed
it was a suicide.

He shut all the windows.
He locked it from the inside.

I had to force
the door open myself.

George knew
what he was doing.

Alright, well, uh...

Hey, um, if you see
that fascist dog,

tell him he's
a real asshole for me.

Here.

And again, very happy

to be in business with you.

But we could have waited
to finish the signing.

We know you're
in mourning.

Look-look here,
we appreciate
your condolences.

But as you know,
more than anything,

my brother George
cared about sharing

his signature beef rub
with the world.

Taffy and I just
really feel it's important

to make his dreams
a reality.

This last one
is just an initial.

Welcome to the knitting circle

with me, Cathy Jay.

Today, I'll be
debating the merits

of diamond
honeycomb stitch,

with a very special guest,

my dear friend Meryl Beauregard.

You poor dumb little turd.

Ow, asshole.

He'll be fine
after a few days' rest.

I mean, what kind
of a person runs a dog over

and then just
leaves it there.

Oh, he wasn't run over.

Someone beat him
with a piece of wood.

What's that now?

Yeah, it was brutal.

I extracted those
from his head wound.

I'm also not certain
this dog is entirely dog.

It could be
up to 25 percent jackal.

Oh. Behaviourally,
that tracks.

You can tell by the teeth.

One was ripped out recently.

That's what first drew
my attention to the...

What the fuck
are you doing?

I thought you
was leavin'.

Oh, I am. Yeah.

Just, uh, doing
a wood thing,

'cause dog justice.

You don't care.
I don't care.

Uh...

We are done.

Dallas guys are paid.

It is over.

No more bridge loan shit.

Yes, I'm in agreement.

There is going to be
some changes around here.

Okay. Change is good.
Change is healthy.

From now on,
I'm handling the finances.

Look, we done
what had to be done, right?

Now we can move on
with our lives.

Yeah. Mandy,
you thought of everything.

We should get back
out there.

Put on a good show.

Yeah, I'm just trying
to figure out, like,

where was he,
you know.

When was the last time
you saw him?

Hey, Charlie.

Uh, what are you doing here?
Didn't you quit?

Oh, yeah, I did.

Uh, I'm just trying
to figure out...

When was the last time
you saw that fascist
asshole dog?

Okay. Um, how about
we talk in my office?

Alright. What are you
doing here, Charlie?

Oh, you know, I, I, I think
there's been a murder.

Murder?

Well,
you know, not a murder

but an attempted murder,
so I...

I think someone tried to kill
that little shithead dog.

A dog?

You do know my brother
just died, right?

Oh no, I know.
And I'm very sorry.

Uh, I-I'm just,

I'm trying to figure out
what happened.

So someone beat it
with a log

over by
your brother's trailer,

which, I mean,
I get it.

That thing can be
a real dick.

But then they moved it.

I mean,
that's weird, right?

What do you mean
they moved it?

Well, because of
the pecan.

The pee-what?

The pecan wood?

Eh, I could hear
when I tasted...

there were traces

of pecan wood
in the dog wounds.

And that means

the murder weapon
came from--

Okay. When did you
become CSI?

Look, it's just
a dead dog in Texas.
That's it.

Well, mm...

I mean,
it's not just though.

You've got two kind of
mysterious incidents

in very close proximity
to each other.

My brother's death
is not mysterious.

It's tragic.

Well...

yeah, but now that
we're talking it through, uh...

I think maybe the dog
saw something

related to your
brother's death.

Like what?
Like, I don't know.

Malfeasance.

Malfeasance?

Something that someone

didn't want it to see,

and they felt that the dog
had to be silenced.

I mean, you do know
dogs can't talk, right?

Well, nobody's saying
dogs can talk.

So what are you saying,
Charlie?

Well...

he said
he'd tell me later.

The last time George
and I talked,

he said he'd tell me
something later.

And he believed it.

And that means, you know,
he thought he'd be alive

at the end of the night.

Look...

we're all taking this
really hard, Charlie.

Do you know I would give
all of this up...

to have my brother back.

Bullshit.

Sorry.

You know what I think?

I think...

you need to get
the fuck out of town

and don't show your face
around here again.

Because in Texas,

no matter if you're
canine or other,

we do not smile kindly
on trespassers.

Is that purely decorative?

Not entirely, no.

Shit.

Well, yeah, I know,
but he basically said

he'd shoot me
if I go back there.

Look, you might be right,
but we don't have any proof.

I don't know,
I just say we move on,

fresh start, you know,
put all this behind us.

Avenge you?
I don't even like you.

Fine. Listen,
you got to stay here.

Remember,
you're a wanted bitch.

Just... alright,
I'll put on the sicko.

Radio host:
I don't know about you,

but what I do
in the bathroom

definitely ain't
"gender neutral."

Ugh.

Just don't bark.

I'm so sorry, Taffy.

♪ I'd rather
break my heart in two ♪

Thank you.

♪ Than have you spread
the word around ♪

♪ Every time you put me down ♪

An air horn
at the symphony.

Hmm.

The heck are you doin'?

Now, you might say
that's impossible.

The door was locked
from the inside,

but that's where
the cinnamon floss

comes into play.

Right? Cinnamon floss?

I guess I'm not
over the part

where you're
a human lie detector.

Yeah, I know.
It's, uh, it's crazy, but--

My favourite colour
is yellow.

Bullshit.

I grew up in Old Dime Box. Bullshit.

I grew up in Tanglewood.

Wow.

You ever gamble?
'Cause you could
make a killing?

Nah.

I loved my husband.

How about that one?

Out of my purview.

I loved how much
he loved what he did.

And then one day he wakes up
and decides he hates the thing

that he devoted
his life to.

He thinks it's murder.

I can only imagine that.

I still don't believe
he wanted to die.

Malfeasance, you said.

Yeah.

I think so.

Well, I mean,
Taffy's got a solid alibi.

We all heard him
on the radio.

Radio host:
...these Chinese sonar attacks

have caused a 30 percent
increase in homosexuality

amongst our teens.

Their beams are able
to traverse vast differences...

Oh, my God, bullshit.
...and unlock the hormones

associated with
unholy desires!

And I'm going to tell you

how to protect yourself
from these sonar attacks.

But, uh, up first,
one of my favourite records,

"Filles de Kilimanjaro"
by Miles Davis.

Enjoy.

Hey, uh,
how can I help you?

Hanky T. Pickens.

Wait, all this,
it's all a gag?

I knew you
didn't really believe
any of this crap.

Yeah. Well,
I also hate jazz,

but, uh, that doesn't
stop me from doing

Midnight Cool with Dr. James.

Oh, my God.
The doctor is in...

...the groove.

Yeah.

Wow.

Yeah, I, I have logged
a lot of miles

listening to you, man.

You're blowing my mind
right now.

What else do you do?

The Morning Buzz

with Jimmy the Jerk.

No.
The Knitting Circle

with Cathy Jay.

Fucking Cathy.

Y la Poderosa Super

con DJ Sanchez.

Oh, I, I'm not sure that
one's cool to do anymore.

Yeah. You know, I was
a theatre major in school,

and there's a lot of hours
to fill in here.

Uh, you work at,
at Boyle's, right?

Yeah. How do you
know that?

You kind of smell
like a fireplace.

But not in a bad way.

Yeah, I guess I came here
to scope out,

poke around something.

I don't know what I
actually thought I'd find.

Uh, were you here
for last night's BBQ-and-A?

Sure, sure. Uh,
Taffy brings me brisket.

Uh, did he... leave

at any point
during the show?

No. I was sitting
right out there
the whole time,

and he never came out.

Can I ask you
a weird favour?

When were you gonna
tell me you beat a dog

within an inch
of its life?

Um...

I wasn't.

Well, now we've got
a big problem.

Here you go.
Whole BBQ hour
from last night.

Wow. Thanks for your help.

Literally any time.

I cannot overstate
how bored I am.

Uh, I think I know
how he did it.

Oh, Charlie.
You scared me.

I've been listening
to last night's show,

and there's this
16-minute stretch

with no live calls,

where Taffy's just going on
about sausage.

So if he had
prerecorded that,

well, he could have snuck out
and killed George then.

Wow, that's, I mean,
that's crazy.

But would that
have been enough time?

Well, actually, yes.
I, I tested it.

Gah! Fuck you, Dog.

Dog.

The one piece
I can't figure out is that

in order to have
prerecorded that,

he would have had to know
that he was going to get

a question about hot links.

He did.
Oh, he did?

He asked me to cue him.

It's something
we've done before

when we're trying to move
a particular cut of meat.

Like you just go up
to someone who's eating it?

Yeah.

Wow. So, I mean, this is,

this is some
serious shit, Charlie.

I mean, this is
a murder accusation.

Can you prove it?
Prove it?

What, like cop prove it,
prove it?

No, very much not.

But goddamn, I swear,
there's a piece missing.

You know, something
that would tie
the whole room together.

It's, it's, it's right
on the edge of my brain

just driving me nuts.

Well, if you do
find real proof,

you come to me first, okay?

I'm, I'm tight
with the sheriff,

and we can go
to him together.

Good night, Charlie.

Paprika.

Paprika?

Yeah, just this
stupid little thing
that's been bugging me.

'Cause mostly
when people lie,

it's for some dumb
"who cares" reason,

which I'm sure this is.

So last night
in the kitchen,

you said you didn't know
where the paprika was,

but y-you did know.

So why were you lying
about the paprika?

It was hectic.

There was a lot going on,

and I wanted Beto
to find it.

To find it?

Right.

Look, Charlie,
I like you.

And if Taffy really is
who you say he is, then...

well, he must be
very dangerous.

For your own safety,
I think your best move is

to hit the road,
get a fresh start.

God, I told you
to be quiet.

I'm trying to think.

Hey.

Hey. Didn't I tell you
not to show your face
around here again?

I know what you did,
you shit-kicking psycho.

Why don't you do me
a favour and just get out?

Nope. 'Cause I got proof.

Cop proof.

Something you missed,
and it's going to put you away.

Oh really?
Well, at first,

it was a lot
of little things.

Dog tooth in the ashes,
cinnamon floss,
George's beer.

You know, I sniffed the bottle,
and it didn't smell
like anything.

And I thought,
what are you doing, Charlie?
You're not a poison sniffer.

And anyway, you wouldn't use
a poison that would show up

in an autopsy.

You'd use Ambien
or something.

But what does Ambien
even smell like?

But what's weird was

it really didn't smell
like anything.

I mean, not even beer.

You see, someone had
washed out the bottle.

I mean, who washes out
a bottle of beer?

So you think
George was killed

because somebody
rinsed out a beer bottle?

Well, then there was
your radio show.

I listened to it
over and over,

like I was Gene Hackman
or something.

Gene Hackman?
I was looking for a sound.

Uh, something
that would prove

that you recorded it
ahead of time.

And I found nothing.

Of course, you didn't.

But then I realised
it wasn't a sound.

It was the absence
of a sound.

Sort of like the beer
but for the ears.

The truth train.
You know, it goes by
every hour on the quarter.

I-- You can hear it
in all the other shows.

You should have been
able to hear it

in last night's BBQ-and-A,

but it's not there.

Oh.

So, let me get
this straight.

You think that I could be
charged for murder

because you didn't hear
the sound of a... a train.

Probably not.

But that's when I found
the real proof.

The thing that's gonna
put your ass away.

Well, I'm going
to explain it to you

in great detail
right now.

You see...

Hello?
We're fucked.

She's got us
dead to rights.

Taffy? What are you
talking about?

That nasty little blonde.

She can prove
we killed George.

Wha--?

Okay, calm down, Taffy.
Tell me what happened.

I'm going
to call the sheriff.

Tell him everything.
Maybe he'll cut us a deal.

Taffy, do not.

That is the last thing
we should do.

I'm scared, baby.

I'm so scared.
I can't go to prison.

Well, maybe if you'd
stuck to my plan

and hadn't attacked
that fuckin' dog,

she wouldn't be on to us.

Don't do anything.

I'll be there
in 10 minutes.

See you soon, sweetheart.

Which seems inconsequential

until you consider
the atmospherics.

The high yesterday
was 72 degrees.

84 percent.

Four miles per hour
from the east.

Not an unusual
set of conditions

in and of themselves,

but nothing exists
in a vacuum.

Do you know
the smoke point of hickory?

No.
570 degrees.

That's 570 degrees.

I'm going
to let you ponder

the implications
of that for a moment.

Charlie, what the fuck
are you talking about?

Look, look, I've been
hearing your bullshit

this whole time
for 20 minutes straight,

and it doesn't make
any fuckin' sense.

Now, for Pete's sake,
could you do me a favour

and just let me know what
this undeniable evidence is?

It doesn't matter.

What?
Eh, doesn't matter.

Because I just got
a confession, so.

I haven't confessed
to anything.

Oh, no, not yours.

What the hell
is all this, huh?

It's what your brother
taught me.

The most important part
of the cook...

it's the stall.

What?

There he is!

There's my husband's killer.

Which will conclusively prove

George Soros' role

in orchestrating
the plandemic.

But first,
Dear Patriots,

the truth train has
brought us a conspiracy

in our own backyard.

Now, you may think
you know the story,

brotherly bloodshed
at Boyle's Barbecue

where the side
of the day is fratricide.

But it turns out
there's one more layer

of this bloomin' onion
left to peel back.

Now, feast your ears
on this.

I'm scared, baby.
I'm so scared.

I can't go to prison.

Well, maybe
if you'd stuck to my plan

and hadn't attacked
that fuckin' dog,

she wouldn't be on to us.

Shit.

Now, it's like
I always say,

there's a whole lot
of bullshit out there.

So I'd like to give
a special shoutout

to the truth tellers.

Those real-life heroes
that can sniff it on out.

See, they're our only hope
against Soros,

Pelosi, the Zionists,

the Mexicans,
the snowflakes,

and the woke-

♪ I'm so glad I found you ♪

Stay strong,
truth tellers.

Stay strong.

♪ Let me put
my arms around you ♪

♪ And we'll rock
till the break of dawn ♪

♪ This feels like heaven ♪

♪ Just you and me ♪

♪ This feels like heaven ♪

♪ Oh yes, indeed ♪

♪ Yes, you know you
stand here in my arms ♪

♪ Rockin' and rollin'
all night long ♪

♪ Feels like heaven ♪

♪ Just you and me ♪

♪ I'm in my glory ♪

♪ Oh yes, indeed ♪

♪ Mmm, seems like a story ♪

♪ Just you and me ♪

♪ Well, you know
you're standin' here,
kissing my lips ♪

♪ You make my
poor heart go ♪

♪ This feels like heaven ♪

♪ Just you and me ♪

♪ I'm so glad I found you ♪

♪ 'Cause I was all alone ♪

♪ Let me put my arms
around you ♪

♪ And we'll rock
till the break of dawn ♪