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This programme contains some
strong language.
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ROMESH: Jesus.
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BANGING ON WINDOW
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Out.
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What is your name?
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Romesh Ranganathan. I'm a comedian
from the UK.
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What are you doing here?
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Um... well, I am going to countries
that are sort of...
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Because of their reputation, people
don't tend to go to,
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and I'm going to be visiting
Haiti, Ethiopia and Albania.
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Really? Why? Why, why would you
do that?
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LAUGHTER
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I mean, he's got a point. Why can't
I go somewhere like Australia?
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Because Dara O' Briain did a
show there.
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OK, What about Thailand?
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Karl Pilkington's been there.
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Well, we're stuck. Properly stuck.
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Not like Top Gear,
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"Let's see if the Land Rover Disco
can make it out of the snow" stuck,
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we are actually stuck. Vietnam?
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Jack Whitehall went there with
his dad.
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Of course he bloody did.
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I think camping's for knobs.
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The whole reason do we have inside
that is not to be outside.
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So why are we outside?
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Nepal? Michael Palin.
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Cuba? Michael Palin.
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Brazil? Michael Palin.
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Jesus Christ, Michael bloody Palin.
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Did you see that out there?
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I think it might be what's left of
my dignity.
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I mean, my intention is to fully
immerse myself in the country
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and the culture.
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Is Ethiopia...all about famine?
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Is Haiti all about poverty
and earthquakes?
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Is Albania just bleak and Communist?
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If it's shit, I'll tell
you it is shit.
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It is genuinely one of the most
incredible places
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I've ever been in my life.
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That was horrible, I
hate Albania, man.
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HE LAUGHS
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Right. Is your mum coming?
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No. Why would my mum be coming?
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Is your mum coming?
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CREW MEMBER: What do you know about
Albania at the moment?
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Bleak is the word I associate most
with Albania.
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It just sounds... Albania.
I'm going to Albania.
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It doesn't make... It doesn't work
as a sentence.
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Does it? I am aware of the
idea of, like,
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sort of, Albanian, sort of,
criminals, gangsters
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or whatever in London. But, like, I
associate Albania with communism
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and I associate communism with the
old footage I have seen
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from the USSR.
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They like an aggressive flag.
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Their flag is like two
griffins fucking.
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Um... any famous Albanians?
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Let me Google it.
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Jim Belushi?
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What?
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Albania is known as the land
of Eagles...
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No way, dude.
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..for who else but an
eagle could ever dream
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of having mountains this beautiful?
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What he's saying doesn't
make any sense.
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Who else but an eagle could have
imagined these mountains?
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What are you talking about?
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Comments are disabled for
this video.
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I'm not BLEEP surprised(!)
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Isn't that the same plane again?
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As you can see, Albania is on
the Adriatic coast,
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sandwiched between Greece, a popular
and nice place to visit,
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and Croatia, a popular and
nice place to visit.
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It was my task to find out why James
Belushi had struggled to convince
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the world that Albania was
a viable alternative.
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I was due to be met by Erjona,
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a local TV presenter and newsreader
who would look after me
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and show me the sights.
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Hey, it's him! Hey! Hello!
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Welcome to Albania. How are you?
I'm good, thank you.
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Hello. Wow, this is amazing.
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Hello. Hello. While, this
is so nice.
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It's Erjona. Hello.
Hello, you're Erjona? Yes.
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Hello, nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you too.
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I have heard so much about you.
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This is so nice. Let's go. All
right, let's go, yeah.
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So, who are these people?
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I am so sorry it is raining, really.
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Because usually we have wonderful
weather. Right, guys? ALL: Yes!
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There is a lot of these flags,
aren't there?
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You like that two-headed eagle,
don't you? Yes.
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You are a big fan of that.
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Because this is Albania,
land of the Eagles.
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Yeah. What's that? Can you do that?
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Can you do that? Yeah, that.
This is the eagle.
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Right. This is our national symbol.
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Yeah. Do you do that? Yes.
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It is Albanian.
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Can you do that at immigration
instead of a passport? Immigration?
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Yeah. I don't... When you're coming
through. I don't understand this.
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On first impressions, Albania
did seem kind of bleak.
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But Erjona, and whoever her
entourage were, did their best
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to make me feel welcome, giving me a
crash course in Albanian culture.
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THEY SING IN ALBANIAN
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ROMESH ATTEMPTS TO COPY THEM
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LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
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Here is the hotel.
This is very nice.
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Bye-bye. Love you. Bye.
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I will have to go because I
have some work to do.
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Oh, OK. But I have something
for you.
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Here it is. It's a map of the city.
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What sort of things should
I look for?
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Look, there are a lot of things, but
don't miss the Pyramid.
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It's very nice. It's unique.
Pyramid. OK? OK, cool. OK.
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Thank you. See you later.
See you, bye.
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It is pretty nice, isn't it?
This isn't what I was expecting.
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CREW MEMBER: How was your drive in?
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I don't think my energy
is very Albanian.
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Um... at one point one of them
asked Erjona,
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is British humour funny?
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And that is based on being in the
vehicle with me.
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So that's not great.
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But, um...
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But it's nice, yeah, they are very
nice, very nice.
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Erjona asked me to meet her later in
the day at her TV studio, and so,
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feeling slightly abandoned, I set
off into the city with my map.
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Currently on a brown face
count of one,
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and that is because I have just seen
my reflection in this window.
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It wouldn't surprise me,
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based on the level of ethnic
diversity I've seen here,
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that these people think you are
filming me,
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just because I happen to be a brown
man in Albania.
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Pyramid?
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Great, thank you.
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CREW MEMBER: So, what are you doing?
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Well, essentially, this
piece is...pointless
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because I have come to a pyramid but
I don't know what it's for.
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So now I am having to switch
on data roaming,
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and find out what this is for.
First thing that comes up,
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pyramid schemes in Albania. I don't
think that's what I am looking for.
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As recently as 1990, Albanians were
almost completely cut off
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from the outside world, like an
Eastern European North Korea,
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under the control of the brutal
Stalinist dictator Enver Hoxha.
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For four decades, almost
nobody visited.
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Foreign music and films
were outlawed.
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Even owning a car was illegal.
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By the time the regime collapsed,
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Albania was virtually a
third-world state,
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isolated and lagging years behind
its neighbours.
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Oh, here we go, here we go, guys.
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So, I am going to deliver... Do you
want me to deliver this as if I've
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internalised the information?
Yeah. OK, fine.
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Hoxha, the Communist dictator,
this was built
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by his daughter and son-in-law.
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Was then... Oh, shit. ..a convention
centre, and then a nightclub.
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But now it is currently unused.
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But it is a wonderful place for the
Albanians to come visit
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and sometimes they climb up the side
of the Pyramid.
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How is it? I don't think I want to
go much further, mate.
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Why not? It's really slippery.
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Erjona? You made it. Hello.
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Hi. How are you? Welcome.
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Good, thank you. Here's Romesh.
Hello. Hello.
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And I will show you the studio of
my daily show.
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Oh, you do a daily show?
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Yeah, from Monday til Friday.
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Oh! And here is the studios.
Hello. Romesh, Alban. Alban.
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Lovely to meet you. Alban?
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00:09:45,320 --> 00:09:51,200
Yeah. Like Albania, Alban. So we
have to be live in ten minutes.
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Right, OK... You have to sit there.
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I have to sit there? Yes, yes.
Because you are the guest, man.
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Yes, sorry. What... What...?
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Is it honestly live?
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Is this live? Yes.
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And how me people watch this?
Millions.
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00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:14,080
CREW MEMBER: What is the show like?
It looks a bit like The One Show.
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It is The One Show, with a chef.
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Guys, we are ready in two minutes.
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Ready?
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Our director has to tell me...
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THEY SPEAK ALBANIAN
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Romesh Ranganathan, welcome.
Welcome. Thank you, thank you.
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OK, we are talking in
Albanian, so...
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We just introduced you.
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Oh, great. To the public, of course.
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What did you say? That
you are very famous
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and you came from UK
to explore Albania.
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I have seen your videos on YouTube.
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In another interview, you said
that you were a rapper, I think. No.
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00:10:57,840 --> 00:10:59,240
I did a bit... No.
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00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:01,320
I like hip-hop.
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00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:03,840
We were really hoping something, to
improvise here.
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00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:06,200
Rap something here.
For the Albanian public.
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00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:10,320
Nothing? Listen, I really want you
to know that I am really grateful
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00:11:10,320 --> 00:11:14,480
to be here, but the idea I would rap
now here is absolutely unacceptable.
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Don't get so serious, please.
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00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:18,960
Are you upset? No.
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00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:20,200
No, it is the British humour.
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Oh, my God. I almost got it!
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I don't think I've got a future
in this country.
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I don't mean as a visitor, I mean
as an act.
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Erjona told me the people in the
gallery were saying to her,
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00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:42,320
in her earpiece, what's wrong with
him? Why does he look so bored?
203
00:11:42,320 --> 00:11:47,600
Is he going to do anything? That was
me at top, top performance level.
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00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:51,240
Basically, I thought I was just,
sort of, being myself,
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and they thought I looked like
somebody who was going on a TV show
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just after a bereavement.
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00:11:56,760 --> 00:12:00,280
I was expecting him to be, you
know, more enthusiastic.
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00:12:00,280 --> 00:12:01,640
I mean, he seems so asleep!
209
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It was a bad start. During
the advert break,
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Alban even made me drink some raki
to try and gee me up.
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00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:14,680
How strong is this? Strong.
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00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:20,040
They thought I was giving so little
that they thought
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00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:22,160
there might be something wrong with
me.
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00:12:22,160 --> 00:12:24,360
So I, sort of, stepped it up
after the break.
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00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:34,040
You like the smell?
Oh, it smells delicious.
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It is going to get more delicious
right now.
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Wow! What is that?
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Yes, yes. Woo! Get that in there!
What happened to him?
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What did you do? You told
him, you are so...
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You look bored.
I am having great fun.
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00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:52,800
We have got seven bits of asparagus,
six tomatoes.
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What more can you want?
And they are on the vine!
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Mm!
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Tell you what, if there was some,
like, shaved carrot.
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I would lose my mind. Oh, my God!
226
00:13:02,360 --> 00:13:04,520
That's what you've got there!
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00:13:04,520 --> 00:13:06,200
LAUGHTER
228
00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:08,800
HE WHOOPS ENTHUSIASTICALLY
229
00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:10,280
Oh, my God.
230
00:13:10,280 --> 00:13:12,200
I am just dreading this going out,
231
00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:13,960
because I know what is
going to happen.
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00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:16,680
My Twitter timeline will be full of
people going, "I tell you what,
233
00:13:16,680 --> 00:13:19,320
"that is one thing I agree with
the Albanians,
234
00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:20,520
"he's not funny at all.
235
00:13:20,520 --> 00:13:23,160
"That is not just an
international problem, love.
236
00:13:23,160 --> 00:13:25,160
"I think he's shit in Britain."
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And all that kind of stuff.
I look forward to that happening.
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Thank you.
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I had spent the night worrying that
my performance may have resulted
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00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:42,680
in Erjona being sacked for her show
being cancelled.
241
00:13:42,680 --> 00:13:45,600
Hey. Hello. Morning. Morning.
242
00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:48,320
But the following day, she turned up
at the hotel us planned,
243
00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:49,960
and drove us towards the coast,
244
00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:52,520
possibly planning to throw my
body into the sea.
245
00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:56,840
She told me we would spend the week
seeing everything Albania
246
00:13:56,840 --> 00:13:59,720
had to offer, from cities to
remote villages.
247
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:02,840
From hills to mountains.
248
00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:06,520
We would start with a road trip to
the seaside.
249
00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:09,680
Oh, look, here is the Pyramid.
250
00:14:09,680 --> 00:14:11,040
Yeah. Did you like it?
251
00:14:12,040 --> 00:14:15,480
Uh... I did like it...
Unfortunately, now is a little bit
252
00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:17,480
destroyed, and it seems very old.
253
00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:20,640
It is very old. Well, where I am
now, like, the bars...
254
00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:22,240
The hotel? Yeah.
255
00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:25,320
But the hotel itself, but also the
bars, the restaurants,
256
00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:26,840
cafes and stuff like that.
257
00:14:26,840 --> 00:14:28,720
They are nice, of course.
258
00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:30,200
And the people are nice, for sure.
259
00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:33,240
Oh, the people are the friendliest
I've come across.
260
00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:40,160
So, your director thought I was a
bit bored, I looked bored yesterday.
261
00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:44,400
Yeah. They were saying,
"What's wrong with him?"
262
00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:46,800
And I said, "Nothing, he is
like that."
263
00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:51,200
Yeah, sorry about that. Like that?
A comedian like that?
264
00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:53,560
THEY LAUGH
265
00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:59,720
Erjona drove extremely slowly,
giving us ample time to chat.
266
00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:02,880
She told me that after the collapse
of the Communist regime
267
00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:07,320
Albanian's faced years of extreme
poverty. Millions fled.
268
00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:11,480
Those that remained suffered through
a massive pyramid scheme that
269
00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:14,080
almost bankrupted the country,
and a vicious civil war.
270
00:15:18,480 --> 00:15:22,280
Albania was experiencing very
difficult years back then.
271
00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:25,440
Especially in 1997, a lot of people
got killed.
272
00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:27,120
Bullets were flying.
273
00:15:27,120 --> 00:15:30,640
The efforts to rebuild have been
severely hampered by the continuous
274
00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:32,560
drain of young talent.
275
00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:35,160
Nearly a third of Albanians now live
abroad.
276
00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:37,920
Have you ever wanted to leave the
country, then?
277
00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:41,520
Sometimes, yes. It is a daily
discussion in my family.
278
00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:45,080
Really? Yeah, because my husband
wants to leave the country.
279
00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:48,000
Where does he want to go?
He wants to go to Germany or US.
280
00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:50,160
Right. Meanwhile, I am not
convinced.
281
00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:53,720
This country has a lot of problems,
for sure, but if we all leave,
282
00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:56,040
who is going to be here?
283
00:15:56,040 --> 00:15:59,320
Who is going to be left? It is my
country and, believe me,
284
00:15:59,320 --> 00:16:03,080
some parts of this country are
amazing.
285
00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:05,840
We proceeded through the beautiful
countryside.
286
00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:08,360
I'm sorry, it wasn't actually
beautiful, was it?
287
00:16:08,360 --> 00:16:10,840
I mean, it was a motorway. Try this.
288
00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:15,240
We continued along a road that
looked like the M1 in 1970.
289
00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:17,440
And after a few hours,
290
00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:20,080
pulled over for lunch at a place
called Ali Kali.
291
00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:23,600
What is this? It's a restaurant.
292
00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:25,520
OK, fine. Cool.
293
00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:27,240
This is it? We are eating here?
294
00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:28,480
Yeah. Cool.
295
00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:29,920
You like it or not? I love it.
296
00:16:29,920 --> 00:16:31,960
It's my favourite thing.
In the middle of nature.
297
00:16:31,960 --> 00:16:35,560
Yeah. I thought, since you saw
a little bit of Tirana...
298
00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:38,600
Yeah. ..we don't have in Albania
just high buildings and concrete
299
00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:42,360
everywhere. And I thought you maybe
would enjoy a little of nature.
300
00:16:42,360 --> 00:16:43,400
Yeah.
301
00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:46,600
This is really nice.
302
00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:49,680
Gezuar. Gezuar. Cheers. Gezuar.
303
00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:52,680
Um...
304
00:16:53,920 --> 00:16:55,680
I just... Um...
305
00:16:56,680 --> 00:16:58,920
Well, I am seeing what this place is
about now.
306
00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:01,000
Oh, beautiful horses.
307
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:02,600
The little one, especially.
308
00:17:05,120 --> 00:17:07,200
Is it nice? It's very nice, yeah.
309
00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:08,760
SHE LAUGHS
310
00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:10,200
Faleminderit.
311
00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:15,840
Oh, fantastika.
Fantastika, faleminderit.
312
00:17:15,840 --> 00:17:18,560
Faleminderit. Speak English?
Yes.
313
00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:23,840
Careful.
314
00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:26,040
SHE LAUGHS
315
00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:28,560
It's hilarious, no? Um...
316
00:17:28,560 --> 00:17:30,600
It's amazing, yeah.
317
00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:31,720
HE LAUGHS
318
00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:35,800
SHE LAUGHS
319
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:49,320
Oh, my God, that's...
320
00:17:49,320 --> 00:17:52,440
It's one of the most pointless
things I have ever seen.
321
00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:55,160
I mean, it's nice, don't get me
wrong.
322
00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:57,880
But it's a lot of effort, isn't it?
323
00:17:57,880 --> 00:17:59,440
I mean, it's a bit weird.
324
00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:01,080
How do the horses feel about it?
325
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,560
You know he is really famous?
326
00:18:02,560 --> 00:18:05,080
He is famous all over the country
327
00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:09,600
for his affection and how much he
takes care of his horses.
328
00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:11,080
Everybody knows Ali Kali.
329
00:18:11,080 --> 00:18:13,640
He's a celebrity. I can imagine.
330
00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:15,560
Oh, my God. Wow, what is this?
331
00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:18,920
Fish. And you see the small horse?
332
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:21,800
Yes, I see the... Yes.
333
00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:24,000
Is he sort of doing waiter training,
is he?
334
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:25,040
SHE CHUCKLES
335
00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:28,880
I forgot to tell him that you are
vegan.
336
00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:31,680
No. But that's OK, I'll eat around
it.
337
00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:36,600
How's the fish?
Oh, it's amazing. Is it?
338
00:18:36,600 --> 00:18:39,240
It's a pity you can't taste it.
But believe me, it's so fresh.
339
00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:41,920
I can't believe it is as good as
this bread and cabbage.
340
00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:51,000
THEY LAUGH
341
00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:51,000
Thank you very much!
342
00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:03,320
So, do you know a game called I-spy?
343
00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:07,200
I-spy? I-spy is where I'll see
something...
344
00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:10,280
Uh-huh. ..and then I say
"I spy with my little eye,
345
00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:11,720
"something beginning with..."
346
00:19:11,720 --> 00:19:13,880
OK, got it. When you guess
correctly,
347
00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:17,040
we celebrate and it is the
adrenaline rush you get from it.
348
00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:21,360
SHE LAUGHS
349
00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:21,360
I see. I spy with my little eye,
350
00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:21,360
something beginning with...
351
00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:22,840
Uh...
352
00:19:22,840 --> 00:19:24,040
S.
353
00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:29,920
S... Yeah. It's not a stop?
It's not a stop sign? Yes!
354
00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:32,960
I got it! Ha-ha-ha!
355
00:19:32,960 --> 00:19:35,280
Oh, my God! Well done!
356
00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:37,120
Whoo! Do you feel the buzz?
357
00:19:37,120 --> 00:19:40,520
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it is very
nice when you really find it.
358
00:19:40,520 --> 00:19:41,680
Well done.
359
00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:47,080
Oh, wow.
360
00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:50,600
The sea. Look at this! Erjona.
361
00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:53,280
We finally arrived at the
Cape of Rodon,
362
00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:57,640
which Erjona assured me is one of
the most stunning and beautiful beaches in Albania.
363
00:19:57,640 --> 00:20:00,280
This is what it would look
like in the summer.
364
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:04,080
You see, it is nice.
365
00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:07,360
Yeah, it is very nice.
You have something similar in UK?
366
00:20:07,360 --> 00:20:11,280
Uh, yes. People that are sort of
very depressed kind of jump off somewhere very much like that.
367
00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:13,440
SHE LAUGHS
368
00:20:13,440 --> 00:20:15,160
At least... No...
369
00:20:15,160 --> 00:20:17,560
I'm only taking the piss.
It is actually very picturesque.
370
00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:19,000
Nobody ever jumped here. No.
371
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:22,840
No, don't worry. And what are
these things over here?
372
00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:24,240
What? These bunker things?
373
00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:26,120
Oh, the bunkers. Bunkers.
374
00:20:26,120 --> 00:20:30,480
Oh, that is something you could see
all over the country.
375
00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:34,040
Between 1960 until 1980,
376
00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:39,400
Enver Hoxha's regime built more than
750,000 bunkers.
377
00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:44,200
He was obsessed with the idea that
the enemy might come from the sea
378
00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:46,880
and invade the country.
We have so many bunkers.
379
00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:49,480
We have one bunker for every four
people.
380
00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:50,960
Really? Yeah, swear.
381
00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:53,080
So, what do they use the bunkers for
now?
382
00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:57,000
They have been transformed in
restaurants, bars, or even museums.
383
00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:59,720
Some of them, just destroyed or left
like that.
384
00:20:59,720 --> 00:21:02,960
It would be quite handy for us if
somebody was selling umbrellas from that one.
385
00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:06,520
Brollies. Umbrellas.
386
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:09,280
I don't get it.
387
00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:11,280
THE SEA ROARS
388
00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:12,720
The sea is talking to us.
389
00:21:15,320 --> 00:21:19,120
Yeah. It's saying, you picked the
wrong day to come.
390
00:21:19,120 --> 00:21:22,160
SHE LAUGHS
391
00:21:19,120 --> 00:21:22,160
Exactly.
392
00:21:38,480 --> 00:21:40,240
THEY YELL
393
00:21:44,640 --> 00:21:48,880
Oh, my God! It's freezing!
Oh, my God!
394
00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:50,400
Argh!
395
00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:54,240
Argh! Oh, my God!
396
00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:00,520
Argh.
397
00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:02,280
Argh.
398
00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:07,320
That was horrible.
Horrible. That was horrible.
399
00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:09,800
I hate Albania, man.
400
00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:11,800
Oh, my God.
401
00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:22,480
Our brush with hypothermia
done with, Erjona,
402
00:22:22,480 --> 00:22:26,280
who was cheating by wearing a
wet suit, drove us back to Tirana.
403
00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:32,520
And to a bar, where my testicles
dropped back out of my body.
404
00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:40,480
Hi. Hi.
405
00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:43,000
THEY LAUGH
406
00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:44,680
At least we are warmer now.
407
00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:46,960
I know. Feeling good?
408
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:50,520
Uh... I don't know about good.
409
00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:52,120
It was pretty crazy, that.
410
00:22:52,120 --> 00:22:54,520
Something I will never ever forget.
411
00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:57,400
Yeah, something I will never ever
repeat.
412
00:22:57,400 --> 00:22:59,400
SHE LAUGHS
413
00:22:57,400 --> 00:22:59,400
For sure. Cheers, man.
414
00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:03,160
Cheers. To your adventure in
Albania. Thank you.
415
00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:07,400
But we're getting along now, right?
416
00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:09,600
You have got used to the Britishness
of me?
417
00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:12,120
Yeah, exactly. And I'm getting more
the British humour.
418
00:23:12,120 --> 00:23:13,360
Are you? Yes.
419
00:23:13,360 --> 00:23:15,040
Are you starting to find me funny at
all?
420
00:23:15,040 --> 00:23:16,080
A little. A little.
421
00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:21,720
Let's have this one.
Cheers.
422
00:23:21,720 --> 00:23:23,880
Gezuar. Gezuar. Gezuar.
423
00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:27,840
Oh, Jesus!
424
00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:30,520
HE SPLUTTERS
425
00:23:32,720 --> 00:23:34,160
Fucking spicy!
426
00:23:35,200 --> 00:23:37,120
I need some water.
427
00:23:37,120 --> 00:23:38,640
It's a spicy raki.
428
00:23:38,640 --> 00:23:41,360
You want to get him killed or what?
429
00:23:41,360 --> 00:23:43,200
The worst...
430
00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:46,760
That is... What was it like?
431
00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:48,560
It was fucking... Fucking spicy!
432
00:23:48,560 --> 00:23:49,960
It burns.
433
00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:52,440
That was horrible!
434
00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:55,680
SHE GROANS
435
00:23:55,680 --> 00:23:57,160
CREW MEMBER: What did it taste like?
436
00:23:57,160 --> 00:24:01,680
If he said to me, "We call that
petrol," I would not be surprised.
437
00:24:01,680 --> 00:24:03,080
Mm. Mm. Bomb.
438
00:24:03,080 --> 00:24:05,920
HE LAUGHS
439
00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:08,000
Holy shit. Yeah.
440
00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:09,040
Two more!
441
00:24:09,040 --> 00:24:11,280
SHE LAUGHS
442
00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:25,480
Raki aside, I was definitely
beginning to warm to Albania.
443
00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:29,520
The next morning, Erjona met me at
my hotel to outline her plans for the day.
444
00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:31,720
I've got to be honest...
445
00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:37,080
Chilling out in a nice hotel,
drinking, relaxing, I actually sort of feel...
446
00:24:37,080 --> 00:24:39,280
You are enjoying it?
Yeah, I'm loving it.
447
00:24:39,280 --> 00:24:44,000
I actually feel...
quite pampered by it all.
448
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:47,160
It feels kind of like I'm having
a five-star trip.
449
00:24:47,160 --> 00:24:48,560
It's nice. Yes,
450
00:24:48,560 --> 00:24:53,280
but we are going to experience today
the real old traditional Albania.
451
00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:55,760
And the old Albania is even more
luxurious?
452
00:24:55,760 --> 00:24:57,520
No, no. It does not...
453
00:24:57,520 --> 00:24:59,400
Even more decadent.
454
00:24:59,400 --> 00:25:01,920
No. It doesn't have to do with
luxury.
455
00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:05,480
Even more... It doesn't have to do
with luxury? No, no. Let's go in the countryside.
456
00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:06,920
I'm open to it. No, I'm up for it.
457
00:25:06,920 --> 00:25:08,520
Trust me?
458
00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:10,840
To a degree, yes, I do, sure.
459
00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:12,440
OK.
460
00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:21,000
Things were going well.
461
00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:23,400
It was a good feeling, but uneasy.
462
00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:27,160
Like that uncertain calm just before
a stranger kicks you in the balls.
463
00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:30,360
Despite my fears, I tried to stay
outwardly positive.
464
00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:35,840
This is actually, do you
know, honestly,
465
00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:38,720
with the sun like this, this is
lovely.
466
00:25:38,720 --> 00:25:41,280
Yeah, it is. We love to drive
this...
467
00:25:42,280 --> 00:25:47,080
..this road. So, one of the guys at
the hotel...
468
00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:48,720
Mm? ..I was chatting to,
469
00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:51,280
he said to me that the saying that
you have here is,
470
00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:54,520
there is no crime in Albania because
they've all gone to Britain.
471
00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:57,880
It's true that some criminals went
to UK.
472
00:25:57,880 --> 00:26:01,320
Especially because of so many
Albanians pretended to be
473
00:26:01,320 --> 00:26:03,600
Kosovo refugees escaping war.
474
00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:06,120
Right. And so UK opened doors,
of course.
475
00:26:06,120 --> 00:26:09,080
But they didn't check and control
all these people,
476
00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:11,400
are they really Albanian or they
are from Kosovo?
477
00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:14,240
Yesterday, a friend of mine said,
"Do you want to go out tomorrow?"
478
00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:16,440
And I said, "I can't, I'm in
Albania."
479
00:26:16,440 --> 00:26:20,720
And he replied, "Don't get kidnapped
by any gangs."
480
00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:21,840
Really? Yeah.
481
00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:24,920
I think that is a general...
482
00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:26,560
Perception. Perception, yeah.
483
00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:28,760
Is that there is loads of gangs
here...
484
00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:31,080
Yeah. And there is loads of Albanian
gangs in the UK.
485
00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:33,120
And Albanians love gangs.
486
00:26:33,120 --> 00:26:34,280
SHE LAUGHS
487
00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:37,440
The two things they love -
communism and gangs.
488
00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:38,960
Oh, my God!
489
00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:41,000
That's funny. That's hilarious.
490
00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:44,720
No, really. Yes, there are Albanian
gangs,
491
00:26:44,720 --> 00:26:47,920
but aren't gangs everywhere
in the world?
492
00:26:47,920 --> 00:26:53,120
I mean, it's not something that
it's daily happening.
493
00:26:53,120 --> 00:26:57,360
So, in your daily life, you have
never had any gang issues?
494
00:26:57,360 --> 00:26:59,200
No. Never, ever.
495
00:27:06,360 --> 00:27:11,080
We arrived at a sparsely inhabited
village of around 100 people called Skenderaj.
496
00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:16,320
Skenderaj. Skenderaj. Cool. You said
it good.
497
00:27:16,320 --> 00:27:19,120
Skenderaj. Skenderaj. Skenderaj.
498
00:27:19,120 --> 00:27:21,200
Uh-huh. Skenderaj.
499
00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:23,440
SHE LAUGHS
500
00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:23,440
Good. Good.
501
00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:27,640
Skenderaj. You got it. I just
thought...
502
00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:30,040
Great. Look. Isn't it beautiful,
right?
503
00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:31,160
Yes, yes.
504
00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:33,400
It's breathtaking.
It is breathtaking, yeah.
505
00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:35,560
Smell the air. Fantastic.
506
00:27:35,560 --> 00:27:40,960
So, I have to go to take care of my
show, and you'll stay here.
507
00:27:40,960 --> 00:27:43,360
And I think you will have a
wonderful night.
508
00:27:43,360 --> 00:27:46,240
You are giving me a lot of bullshit
about hospitality and then just
509
00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:47,840
abandoning me here. No!
510
00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:50,040
You wanted to explore Albania, man,
right?
511
00:27:50,040 --> 00:27:52,640
Yeah, but not on my own.
This is part of Albania.
512
00:27:52,640 --> 00:27:54,360
OK, fine. I am very excited, thank
you.
513
00:27:54,360 --> 00:27:57,240
You go, you better head off.
Bye-bye.
514
00:27:57,240 --> 00:27:58,840
Drive safely. Yeah, I will.
515
00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:02,440
I would hate for you to run out of
fuel halfway down.
516
00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:04,720
Get stranded.
517
00:28:04,720 --> 00:28:07,360
DOOR SHUTS AND IGNITION START
518
00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:20,240
HOOVES CLATTER
519
00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:26,400
Rom? Yes. Come?
520
00:28:26,400 --> 00:28:28,200
OK.
521
00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:29,480
Is this for me?
522
00:28:32,520 --> 00:28:33,560
Oh, we're just going.
523
00:28:34,520 --> 00:28:37,840
What's your name? No.
No. OK.
524
00:28:47,120 --> 00:28:49,520
I suppose, like the first time I did
Live At The Apollo,
525
00:28:49,520 --> 00:28:52,560
it sort of felt too soon, do you
know what I mean?
526
00:28:52,560 --> 00:28:55,680
But then the second time, I kind of
felt ready for it.
527
00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:59,320
It's difficult because you move from
ten-minute sets and then you go on to 20-minute sets.
528
00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:04,800
But my ultimate sort of dream would
be in a film or something, you know?
529
00:29:04,800 --> 00:29:08,600
Like, a funny film. Like a Judd
Apatow film or something, you know?
530
00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:10,240
DOGS BARK
531
00:29:14,280 --> 00:29:15,720
Hello.
532
00:29:17,040 --> 00:29:18,320
Romesh.
533
00:29:18,320 --> 00:29:19,400
HE SPEAKS ALBANIAN
534
00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:22,320
I'm Amir. Amir?
535
00:29:22,320 --> 00:29:23,360
HE SPEAKS ALBANIAN
536
00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:26,360
Hello, I'm Romesh.
537
00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:28,160
Falemenderit?
538
00:29:28,160 --> 00:29:29,680
HE SPEAKS ALBANIAN
539
00:29:29,680 --> 00:29:32,600
In recent years, a small trickle of
tourists have started coming to
540
00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:34,600
this area to hike in the hills.
541
00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:38,640
But no-one here speaks English,
so although she dumped me here,
542
00:29:38,640 --> 00:29:41,800
Erjona was kind enough to leave me
with an interpreter.
543
00:29:41,800 --> 00:29:43,280
HE SPEAKS ALBANIAN
544
00:29:43,280 --> 00:29:44,720
OK. Follow me, he says.
545
00:29:44,720 --> 00:29:46,200
All right, follow you? OK.
546
00:29:48,040 --> 00:29:51,280
She'd arranged for me to stay
overnight with this family of shepherds
547
00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:53,480
so I could get a taste of life in
rural Albania.
548
00:29:53,480 --> 00:29:54,760
SHEEP BLEAT
549
00:29:54,760 --> 00:29:58,680
Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me.
Excuse me, mate.
550
00:30:01,240 --> 00:30:03,320
Is this your sort of lifestyle?
551
00:30:03,320 --> 00:30:06,320
Yeah, it's sort of something I've
always wanted to do.
552
00:30:06,320 --> 00:30:10,280
It sort of feels like a dream
come true in many ways.
553
00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:13,440
No, I don't... Erjona's just dropped
me off here to be a shepherd for the night.
554
00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:14,920
I don't know what I'm doing.
555
00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:25,680
I briefly wondered if this might be
Erjona's revenge for almost getting her TV show canned.
556
00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:30,480
They tasked me with helping out the
family's eldest son, Fatmir,
557
00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:35,240
who has lived in the village his
entire life and now runs a small farm with his wife and two children.
558
00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:40,080
So, is this quite relaxing for you,
standing out here with the sheep?
559
00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:53,960
Addicted? Nice.
560
00:30:53,960 --> 00:30:55,920
We've all got our vices.
561
00:31:00,680 --> 00:31:02,440
HE WHISTLES
562
00:31:02,440 --> 00:31:04,840
What are you doing now, with the
whistling?
563
00:31:07,600 --> 00:31:09,480
HE WHISTLES
564
00:31:12,480 --> 00:31:14,120
Wow!
565
00:31:14,120 --> 00:31:16,040
That was actually genuinely
impressive.
566
00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:21,640
Spending some time out here, it is
genuinely beautiful.
567
00:31:23,400 --> 00:31:25,680
It is so, so gentle and nice,
568
00:31:25,680 --> 00:31:29,160
the way that he was dealing with the
sheep.
569
00:31:29,160 --> 00:31:30,880
HE WHISTLES
570
00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:34,320
But my favourite thing was the
"bhush."
571
00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:36,800
Bhush...
572
00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:41,120
Bhush. Bhush. Easy now.
573
00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:44,760
Which sort of gets them all...
574
00:31:44,760 --> 00:31:46,360
HE LAUGHS
575
00:31:48,680 --> 00:31:50,720
He was worried that I'd get muddy,
576
00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:54,320
but I looked at them and I thought,
they don't seem to have that much on them.
577
00:31:54,320 --> 00:31:59,720
But within 15-20 minutes of working
with them,
578
00:31:59,720 --> 00:32:02,080
I realised that my entire back is
covered in sheep shit.
579
00:32:03,920 --> 00:32:05,840
And I've got no idea how it
happened.
580
00:32:05,840 --> 00:32:08,000
It looks like
581
00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:10,960
I picked up one of the sheep
582
00:32:10,960 --> 00:32:13,240
and wiped its arse on my back.
583
00:32:24,800 --> 00:32:27,240
Gezuar. Cheers. Gezuar.
584
00:32:29,760 --> 00:32:32,240
INDISTINCT
585
00:32:32,240 --> 00:32:35,400
So, have your family been in
this area for a long time?
586
00:32:35,400 --> 00:32:36,440
Were you born here?
587
00:32:37,920 --> 00:32:40,720
And every generation is shepherds?
588
00:32:53,040 --> 00:32:54,920
So, are they happier now?
589
00:32:54,920 --> 00:32:56,600
They are definitely happier now.
590
00:32:56,600 --> 00:32:59,280
With more...freedom.
591
00:32:59,280 --> 00:33:00,320
Right.
592
00:33:26,040 --> 00:33:27,880
Oh, OK.
593
00:33:27,880 --> 00:33:30,160
The family were incredibly
hospitable,
594
00:33:30,160 --> 00:33:34,000
and although the raki tasted
like burning piss,
595
00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:36,080
I was beginning to relax.
596
00:33:36,080 --> 00:33:38,040
HE COUGHS
597
00:33:39,440 --> 00:33:42,280
At that point, Fatmir appeared with
a shotgun.
598
00:33:42,280 --> 00:33:44,800
What is he saying? Go with him?
CREW MEMBER: Yeah, follow him.
599
00:33:44,800 --> 00:33:46,280
You wanted to help, right?
600
00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:47,360
Why has he got a gun?
601
00:33:47,360 --> 00:33:49,120
I did briefly wonder if they were
602
00:33:49,120 --> 00:33:51,320
going to sacrifice me
to the sheep gods.
603
00:33:51,320 --> 00:33:52,720
What's going on?
604
00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:11,000
Go and shoot it?
605
00:34:25,160 --> 00:34:27,000
DOGS BARK
606
00:34:29,760 --> 00:34:32,720
I strongly suspected that Fatmir was
winding me up.
607
00:34:32,720 --> 00:34:35,600
On the other hand, I didn't want to
risk all the family sheep being
608
00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:39,680
devoured by a ravenous killer wolf,
so I set out into the darkness,
609
00:34:39,680 --> 00:34:41,720
like Rambo with a lazy eye.
610
00:34:44,920 --> 00:34:46,560
HE WHISPERS: He's taking the piss.
611
00:34:46,560 --> 00:34:49,200
He must be.
612
00:34:49,200 --> 00:34:50,360
This is insane.
613
00:34:50,360 --> 00:34:52,080
Woof.
614
00:34:54,240 --> 00:34:56,200
I'm not going to find... I'm not
actually...
615
00:34:56,200 --> 00:34:58,040
This is bullshit. Wolf!
616
00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:02,840
Bear!
617
00:35:04,640 --> 00:35:07,480
CREW MEMBER: Stop waving it around!
618
00:35:07,480 --> 00:35:08,880
I don't know what I'm doing!
619
00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:13,720
HE WHISPERS: Did you see that up
there?
620
00:35:13,720 --> 00:35:15,760
Just there.
621
00:35:15,760 --> 00:35:19,200
I think it might be what remains of
my dignity.
622
00:35:31,560 --> 00:35:33,240
What the fuck?
623
00:35:34,440 --> 00:35:36,280
Hello. Hello.
624
00:35:38,720 --> 00:35:40,760
Wolf patrol. Why you film?
625
00:35:40,760 --> 00:35:42,160
Hm?
626
00:35:42,160 --> 00:35:43,680
Film? Film, yeah.
627
00:35:43,680 --> 00:35:46,840
It's called The End of Romesh
Ranganathan's Career.
628
00:35:46,840 --> 00:35:48,480
Erm... Not the mirror.
629
00:35:48,480 --> 00:35:50,560
Cool.
630
00:35:52,800 --> 00:35:57,120
After half an hour, I concluded that
it was definitely a wind-up.
631
00:35:57,120 --> 00:36:00,040
Fatmir had got me good, but in the
process,
632
00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:03,120
he had succeeded in creating a new
racial stereotype.
633
00:36:03,120 --> 00:36:05,400
That bloke that I met
634
00:36:05,400 --> 00:36:08,240
now thinks all brown people are
criminals,
635
00:36:08,240 --> 00:36:11,840
because 100% of them that he's met
have been holding a gun.
636
00:36:15,920 --> 00:36:19,320
Anyway, I'm going to go find him and
shoot him dead, stop him spreading the word.
637
00:36:23,480 --> 00:36:25,760
THEY LAUGH
638
00:36:25,760 --> 00:36:26,800
I did, I did.
639
00:36:26,800 --> 00:36:28,360
Very good. Well done.
640
00:36:36,440 --> 00:36:37,840
Oh, fuck.
641
00:36:42,960 --> 00:36:44,560
Yeah, good one, mate.
642
00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:51,560
Oh, God.
643
00:36:54,640 --> 00:36:57,720
My time shepherding had come to
an end.
644
00:36:57,720 --> 00:36:59,400
Prost.
645
00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:01,680
We did a quick morning raki shot.
646
00:37:02,880 --> 00:37:04,280
HE COUGHS
647
00:37:07,360 --> 00:37:09,160
Thank you, thank you.
648
00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:16,200
Thank you. Thank you.
649
00:37:17,560 --> 00:37:19,160
Take care. Bye-bye.
650
00:37:20,840 --> 00:37:23,360
I'm not really one for emotion
but...
651
00:37:23,360 --> 00:37:27,480
..they really did go out of their
way to sort of look after me.
652
00:37:27,480 --> 00:37:29,680
So it is sad saying goodbye.
653
00:37:29,680 --> 00:37:34,440
I feel a bit guilty for how kind of
piss-takey I was about the whole thing,
654
00:37:34,440 --> 00:37:38,000
and then you spend an evening with
them and they're all really lovely,
655
00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:41,520
nice people. I feel really ashamed,
so, like, it does make you think,
656
00:37:41,520 --> 00:37:43,960
like, I'm so...
657
00:37:45,400 --> 00:37:47,000
I'm so spoilt.
658
00:37:47,000 --> 00:37:48,800
SHEEP BLEAT
659
00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:59,160
Even saying "spoilt" reminded me how
keen I was to get back to that five-star hotel.
660
00:38:00,400 --> 00:38:01,960
I headed back to Tirana,
661
00:38:01,960 --> 00:38:05,080
where Erjona had arranged for me to
meet another man called Fatmir.
662
00:38:06,640 --> 00:38:10,120
While under communism, everyone in
the country had the same level of wealth,
663
00:38:10,120 --> 00:38:13,960
the last 30 years have seen huge
gaps emerge
664
00:38:13,960 --> 00:38:17,960
between the richest and
poorest Albanians.
665
00:38:17,960 --> 00:38:19,600
Oh, my God!
666
00:38:19,600 --> 00:38:20,720
It is actually amazing.
667
00:38:20,720 --> 00:38:22,800
I tried to
put these thoughts to one side as I
668
00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:25,720
climbed into one of the world's most
expensive supercars.
669
00:38:25,720 --> 00:38:28,440
Dude! Yeah, come in. This is
670
00:38:28,440 --> 00:38:30,240
unbelievable!
671
00:38:31,320 --> 00:38:32,680
Just put it like that.
672
00:38:32,680 --> 00:38:36,400
OK. What kind of music you like?
673
00:38:36,400 --> 00:38:37,840
Oh, I'm a big hip-hop fan.
674
00:38:37,840 --> 00:38:41,080
But what about you? Really?
675
00:38:41,080 --> 00:38:42,960
MUSIC: Likes That
by Geko
676
00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:49,880
I have never in my life
been in a car as nice as this one.
677
00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:53,840
ENGINE ROARS
678
00:39:00,520 --> 00:39:04,200
Oh, my God. That never gets boring,
right? Yeah.
679
00:39:06,240 --> 00:39:08,480
Fatmir has apparently acquired a
reputation
680
00:39:08,480 --> 00:39:10,440
as a bit of an Albanian playboy.
681
00:39:10,440 --> 00:39:13,040
He has an Instagram account
featuring pictures of him
682
00:39:13,040 --> 00:39:15,680
climbing into private jets and
dating famous models.
683
00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:20,920
I felt conflicted.
684
00:39:20,920 --> 00:39:24,960
Instinctively, I hate anyone who's a
young supercar-driving millionaire.
685
00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:28,640
But I also had a burning desire to
become Fatmir's new best friend.
686
00:39:28,640 --> 00:39:30,840
Oh, my God. Are you scared,
are you scared?
687
00:39:30,840 --> 00:39:32,560
I'm not scared.
I get adrenaline, man.
688
00:39:32,560 --> 00:39:35,000
Yes, it's good. It's so good.
In your stomach. Yeah, yeah.
689
00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:37,440
Your abdominals, even
when you don't have it!
690
00:39:37,440 --> 00:39:39,200
THEY LAUGH
691
00:39:44,080 --> 00:39:46,360
This is your place? Yeah.
692
00:39:48,120 --> 00:39:50,320
Are you just going to leave this
here?
693
00:39:50,320 --> 00:39:53,320
Yeah, it's no problem. I'm going to
take care of it now.
694
00:39:53,320 --> 00:39:55,560
OK.
Oh, thank you.
695
00:40:00,440 --> 00:40:03,880
Fatmir offered to treat me to lunch
and show me around the luxury
696
00:40:03,880 --> 00:40:05,120
penthouse he's building.
697
00:40:06,440 --> 00:40:09,480
So, this is my house.
Yeah. My penthouse.
698
00:40:09,480 --> 00:40:11,080
Wow!
699
00:40:11,080 --> 00:40:13,520
And this is my room with a view
of the city.
700
00:40:16,640 --> 00:40:18,440
It's got to be tough, man.
701
00:40:18,440 --> 00:40:20,760
He explained that, at 25,
he is now the CEO
702
00:40:20,760 --> 00:40:24,800
of a family business empire
which owns construction companies,
703
00:40:24,800 --> 00:40:27,520
media outlets, hotels
and breweries.
704
00:40:27,520 --> 00:40:31,040
Their fortune, which official
estimates put at shitloads,
705
00:40:31,040 --> 00:40:33,200
was built from nothing. And this.
706
00:40:33,200 --> 00:40:34,520
This is so nice!
707
00:40:34,520 --> 00:40:37,720
It's so romantic, right?
Yeah, this is lovely!
708
00:40:37,720 --> 00:40:39,960
Oh, my God. Your life, man.
709
00:40:39,960 --> 00:40:44,320
You're like the only hip-hop fan I
know whose life is actually like one of the videos.
710
00:40:44,320 --> 00:40:45,640
FATMIR CHUCKLES
711
00:40:45,640 --> 00:40:49,200
I am glad to hear that. Oh, thank
you very much. Enjoy, sir.
712
00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:56,080
Obviously, you are the
vice-president of a family business that has done very, very well.
713
00:40:56,080 --> 00:40:57,640
But, being honest with you,
714
00:40:57,640 --> 00:41:01,760
the British preconceptions about
Albanians making money and Albanian
715
00:41:01,760 --> 00:41:06,120
businesses, a lot of people,
their immediate thing is,
716
00:41:06,120 --> 00:41:08,480
"What illegal activity led to that
money being made?"
717
00:41:08,480 --> 00:41:11,640
Do you know what I mean? Are you
aware of that kind of preconception
718
00:41:11,640 --> 00:41:13,120
from...? Yeah, like...
719
00:41:13,120 --> 00:41:15,320
..people are always going to judge,
you know?
720
00:41:15,320 --> 00:41:18,840
Some of Albanian people who left the
country for England or Italy,
721
00:41:18,840 --> 00:41:20,600
they were survivors.
722
00:41:20,600 --> 00:41:23,640
So they would do anything to
survive, to have...
723
00:41:23,640 --> 00:41:25,760
To feed their kids or family.
724
00:41:25,760 --> 00:41:28,600
But the country now is very strong
725
00:41:28,600 --> 00:41:31,680
and it's making the corruption
lowering down,
726
00:41:31,680 --> 00:41:34,480
because corruption is in every
country in the world.
727
00:41:34,480 --> 00:41:37,560
Yes. But we are just making it,
try the best, all of us,
728
00:41:37,560 --> 00:41:40,000
the legit companies to improve other
companies.
729
00:41:41,320 --> 00:41:43,160
You're being very humble and
everything.
730
00:41:43,160 --> 00:41:46,320
Yeah. But we are eating lunch...
731
00:41:46,320 --> 00:41:49,040
Yeah. ..on the top of your, kind of,
building.
732
00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:51,080
Yeah. You've got to admit, this is
crazy, right?
733
00:41:51,080 --> 00:41:54,120
I mean, it's insane.
Yeah, it's something very nice.
734
00:41:54,120 --> 00:41:55,960
It's better than very nice, man.
735
00:41:55,960 --> 00:42:00,480
It's unbelievable. Though I honestly
haven't thought about my wife and
736
00:42:00,480 --> 00:42:04,400
children once since I've been here.
I could actually live here.
737
00:42:04,400 --> 00:42:05,560
That's a very bad thing.
738
00:42:05,560 --> 00:42:07,920
I know, it is a bad thing but that's
how nice this place is.
739
00:42:07,920 --> 00:42:10,360
I might have to find... So you
should come with your wife and children,
740
00:42:10,360 --> 00:42:13,760
so when you come here... Yeah. You
can think about them as well. Why ruin a good thing?
741
00:42:19,040 --> 00:42:21,080
So, you met the two Fatmirs?
How was it?
742
00:42:21,080 --> 00:42:25,200
Fatmir number one and Fatmir
number two couldn't be more different, really.
743
00:42:25,200 --> 00:42:27,400
Fatmir number one, erm,
shepherd, erm,
744
00:42:27,400 --> 00:42:30,080
with a basic but lovely home that
745
00:42:30,080 --> 00:42:33,640
he welcomed us in and showed us
what his lifestyle was about,
746
00:42:33,640 --> 00:42:35,720
and I suspected that I would like
him, you know,
747
00:42:35,720 --> 00:42:39,960
without wanting to bring too many
preconceptions about it.
748
00:42:39,960 --> 00:42:42,840
I did also expect to not like
Fatmir number two,
749
00:42:42,840 --> 00:42:46,840
who inherited a position in his
dad's business, millionaire, like,
750
00:42:46,840 --> 00:42:48,160
living the dream, basically.
751
00:42:48,160 --> 00:42:52,040
But I liked both of them, and
both of them are...
752
00:42:52,040 --> 00:42:57,560
..two very good examples of how
disparate the population get once communism has gone.
753
00:43:04,240 --> 00:43:06,000
So, how was yesterday?
754
00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:11,000
I'll be honest with you, I felt,
I had slight abandonment issues when you went away. Why?
755
00:43:11,000 --> 00:43:15,360
Erm, just because you left me on the
mountain, like, on a hill, and you, like, ran away.
756
00:43:15,360 --> 00:43:17,720
But I loved them.
They're very nice.
757
00:43:17,720 --> 00:43:20,640
You've seen the city.
You've seen the beach.
758
00:43:20,640 --> 00:43:22,520
Yes. You've seen now the village.
759
00:43:22,520 --> 00:43:24,520
But... You sound like the trailer
for a movie!
760
00:43:24,520 --> 00:43:27,560
SHE LAUGHS
761
00:43:24,520 --> 00:43:27,560
Isn't it? Yeah.
762
00:43:27,560 --> 00:43:32,840
I think you can't say you've seen
Albania without seeing the Alps,
763
00:43:32,840 --> 00:43:34,200
the Albanian Alps.
764
00:43:34,200 --> 00:43:36,200
OK. Cool. I cannot wait to do it.
765
00:43:36,200 --> 00:43:37,680
Ha-ha-ha, "I cannot!"
766
00:43:37,680 --> 00:43:39,960
I'm serious. I'm buzzing.
767
00:43:39,960 --> 00:43:41,040
I know. They're the best.
768
00:43:41,040 --> 00:43:42,480
Yes!
769
00:43:42,480 --> 00:43:44,040
SHE LAUGHS
770
00:43:57,920 --> 00:44:02,240
Arguably my new-found enthusiastic
streak was clouding my judgment,
771
00:44:02,240 --> 00:44:05,280
but I was genuinely excited about
the trip to Albania's Alps.
772
00:44:09,880 --> 00:44:14,040
Unlike their European neighbours,
there are no large ski resorts here,
773
00:44:14,040 --> 00:44:17,520
but I was told there are plans to
unlock the vast potential of the area,
774
00:44:17,520 --> 00:44:20,200
which is currently one of the
poorest in the country.
775
00:44:22,120 --> 00:44:24,080
With a bit of luck, they, too,
776
00:44:24,080 --> 00:44:27,160
could have hedge fund wankers from
Farnham asking for hazelnut syrup
777
00:44:27,160 --> 00:44:28,840
with their soy latte.
778
00:44:28,840 --> 00:44:30,800
How long is this journey?
779
00:44:30,800 --> 00:44:32,800
It's going to be a few hours,
I think.
780
00:44:32,800 --> 00:44:35,000
Oh, God! Four more hours.
781
00:44:37,440 --> 00:44:40,480
You didn't tell me that it was going
to be like this.
782
00:44:40,480 --> 00:44:43,960
I think it's going to be amazing
once we are there, right?
783
00:44:43,960 --> 00:44:45,120
Sure.
784
00:44:48,200 --> 00:44:49,640
Jesus.
785
00:44:56,800 --> 00:44:59,760
The journey was long and entirely
off-road.
786
00:44:59,760 --> 00:45:03,240
After two hours on roads even
mountain goats would find terrifying,
787
00:45:03,240 --> 00:45:06,640
we reached the snow line and ground
to a halt.
788
00:45:10,040 --> 00:45:12,160
We're sort of midway up and now
we're stuck.
789
00:45:12,160 --> 00:45:15,280
And... Listen, I...
790
00:45:15,280 --> 00:45:16,520
I don't want to offend you.
791
00:45:16,520 --> 00:45:17,760
No, I'm... Not at all.
792
00:45:17,760 --> 00:45:20,240
I like Albania very much. But there
is absolutely no way,
793
00:45:20,240 --> 00:45:24,840
and I mean zero chance, of this
being worth it.
794
00:45:24,840 --> 00:45:26,680
There, there cannot be...
795
00:45:26,680 --> 00:45:28,240
It is. It can't be.
796
00:45:28,240 --> 00:45:30,640
It's, it's... Unless... The journey
is not over, man.
797
00:45:30,640 --> 00:45:35,200
Unless the Wu-Tang Clan are doing an
Alpine gig while I'm getting tugged off,
798
00:45:35,200 --> 00:45:37,320
I can't see how this can be
worth it.
799
00:45:37,320 --> 00:45:39,400
I'm not saying the experience
is bad.
800
00:45:39,400 --> 00:45:41,400
I'm saying being stuck in the snow.
801
00:45:41,400 --> 00:45:43,680
At least you must admit it's
beautiful, right?
802
00:45:43,680 --> 00:45:47,200
Isn't it? It's beautiful, but...
Have you ever seen such an amazing thing?
803
00:45:47,200 --> 00:45:48,840
It's nice, it's very nice.
804
00:45:57,360 --> 00:46:00,120
Is it normally this bad?
We've managed so far... Yes, so far.
805
00:46:00,120 --> 00:46:02,040
..so we can still manage, right?
Yeah,
806
00:46:02,040 --> 00:46:04,800
but I still keep seeing memorials to
people that haven't managed.
807
00:46:04,800 --> 00:46:08,840
Unfortunately, yeah, yeah, that's
true. We're going to be careful. We're going to be safe.
808
00:46:10,680 --> 00:46:13,520
For the next hour and a half, we
inched up the mountain,
809
00:46:13,520 --> 00:46:17,280
the vehicles getting trapped in the
snow again roughly every ten metres.
810
00:46:17,280 --> 00:46:21,080
Well, we're stuck, properly stuck,
and not like...
811
00:46:21,080 --> 00:46:24,360
..Top Gear, "Let's see if the Land
Rover Disco can make it out of the snow" stuck.
812
00:46:24,360 --> 00:46:26,280
We're actually stuck.
813
00:46:26,280 --> 00:46:27,840
Sorry...
814
00:46:28,880 --> 00:46:31,400
Erm, assistance has arrived.
815
00:46:31,400 --> 00:46:33,200
And now the assistance is stuck.
816
00:46:33,200 --> 00:46:34,560
THEY TALK ALBANIAN
817
00:46:34,560 --> 00:46:36,640
So it's getting better and better.
818
00:46:36,640 --> 00:46:42,480
What we're hoping to do is bring the
whole country out here to celebrate our deaths.
819
00:46:45,760 --> 00:46:47,080
Don't even start that shit.
820
00:46:47,080 --> 00:46:48,760
Oh!
821
00:46:53,120 --> 00:46:55,960
After the mountain pass,
the going was much easier,
822
00:46:55,960 --> 00:46:57,880
by which I mean we were actually
moving.
823
00:46:59,280 --> 00:47:01,560
The journey to the small village of
Thethi
824
00:47:01,560 --> 00:47:03,840
eventually took seven
torturous hours,
825
00:47:03,840 --> 00:47:08,160
leaving me worried about their
chances of attracting further tourists here.
826
00:47:09,520 --> 00:47:11,040
It does actually look nice.
827
00:47:11,040 --> 00:47:14,800
It looks. Do they do, like, spinal
surgery and stuff here?
828
00:47:14,800 --> 00:47:16,120
SHE LAUGHS
829
00:47:19,520 --> 00:47:21,000
Hello.
830
00:47:21,000 --> 00:47:22,600
Hello, welcome. This is Romesh.
831
00:47:22,600 --> 00:47:25,560
Romesh, how are you? Hello. Nice to
meet you. This is lovely.
832
00:47:28,600 --> 00:47:30,440
Oh, my God. Oh!
833
00:47:30,440 --> 00:47:34,040
A little bit of warmth.
834
00:47:34,040 --> 00:47:35,920
FOLK MUSIC PLAYS
835
00:47:52,160 --> 00:47:55,960
Getting here was difficult, but,
I don't know,
836
00:47:55,960 --> 00:47:59,680
it sort of sounds cliched but
there's something kind of magical
837
00:47:59,680 --> 00:48:03,440
about coming into a place
with a big, roaring fire.
838
00:48:03,440 --> 00:48:07,320
There's, like, tables full of nice,
home-cooked food.
839
00:48:07,320 --> 00:48:09,880
Everybody's drinking beer and having
a great time,
840
00:48:09,880 --> 00:48:11,240
start singing songs and stuff.
841
00:48:11,240 --> 00:48:14,160
It actually reminds me of, like, the
parties my parents used to have,
842
00:48:14,160 --> 00:48:16,240
like, when, like, in the Sri Lankan
community,
843
00:48:16,240 --> 00:48:18,360
where everyone would get round
together,
844
00:48:18,360 --> 00:48:20,960
sing old songs from back home
and, like, just get into it.
845
00:48:20,960 --> 00:48:23,480
It's great. A really, like,
feel-good evening.
846
00:48:32,800 --> 00:48:34,640
CREW MEMBER: So, Rom?
847
00:48:34,640 --> 00:48:38,480
Yes? I think we should go and do
the, sort of, get involved thing.
848
00:48:38,480 --> 00:48:41,560
I don't... I just don't think it's
good.
849
00:48:41,560 --> 00:48:46,360
Well, it's... People sort of expect
you to do things like this.
850
00:48:50,960 --> 00:48:53,000
THEY SING
851
00:49:07,320 --> 00:49:09,600
Sue Perkins, Michael Palin,
Stephen Fry,
852
00:49:09,600 --> 00:49:12,680
they all get in and get involved and
get carried away with the local...
853
00:49:12,680 --> 00:49:15,320
I'm not doing that, OK? I...
854
00:49:15,320 --> 00:49:17,080
We shouldn't have rented this.
855
00:49:17,080 --> 00:49:19,280
Why don't you pop down with just the
hat on?
856
00:49:20,480 --> 00:49:23,440
Well, if I just pop my
head round the corner with this on,
857
00:49:23,440 --> 00:49:26,000
what does it look like? I don't even
think it looks Albanian.
858
00:49:26,000 --> 00:49:31,000
Why don't you go downstairs...?
Look, just look at just the head.
859
00:49:31,000 --> 00:49:34,120
That sort of looks Albanian.
OK, I'm not doing this.
860
00:49:53,080 --> 00:49:58,080
Thethi is a tiny village of around
100 homes, surrounded by majestic peaks, which,
861
00:49:58,080 --> 00:50:01,760
as I had learned, render it almost
completely inaccessible in winter.
862
00:50:03,680 --> 00:50:08,240
My plan was to sit down and gaze
at the snow for the day.
863
00:50:08,240 --> 00:50:10,920
Erjona had other ideas.
864
00:50:10,920 --> 00:50:14,680
What do you want to do?
Do you want to ride a horse?
865
00:50:14,680 --> 00:50:17,040
No. Or do you want to ski?
866
00:50:17,040 --> 00:50:19,480
No. Let's go and play out in the
snow, if you want.
867
00:50:19,480 --> 00:50:21,240
Do you want to play in the snow?
868
00:50:21,240 --> 00:50:24,360
Sorry, I think, erm,
I must tell you...
869
00:50:24,360 --> 00:50:26,320
..I'm a father of three.
I'm not eight.
870
00:50:26,320 --> 00:50:29,080
Oh, my God!
871
00:50:30,560 --> 00:50:34,360
I sort of woke up feeling like I'd
put yesterday behind me.
872
00:50:34,360 --> 00:50:36,480
It was a horrible journey, but
today,
873
00:50:36,480 --> 00:50:38,880
you can't help but be taken aback by
the scenery.
874
00:50:38,880 --> 00:50:40,920
The scenery's so beautiful.
875
00:50:40,920 --> 00:50:43,640
I mean, it is sort of natural
perfection.
876
00:50:43,640 --> 00:50:47,800
It's one of those things where you
can imagine somebody looking out and then going,
877
00:50:47,800 --> 00:50:50,120
"And people say there isn't a God".
878
00:50:50,120 --> 00:50:52,320
You know, it's that kind of thing.
It's that,
879
00:50:52,320 --> 00:50:56,920
ticks all the boxes for gobsmacking
perfection in terms of scenery.
880
00:50:58,000 --> 00:50:59,840
SHE SCREAMS
881
00:50:59,840 --> 00:51:02,600
You hit me in the face, you
great...!
882
00:51:02,600 --> 00:51:05,640
I think it's sort of a symptom of
there not being many, sort of,
883
00:51:05,640 --> 00:51:07,600
ethnic minorities in this country,
884
00:51:07,600 --> 00:51:11,240
that Albanians' humour is, erm,
what's the best way to describe it?
885
00:51:11,240 --> 00:51:13,880
"'70s" would be a compliment.
886
00:51:13,880 --> 00:51:17,120
Something black in the middle of
this white is amazing!
887
00:51:17,120 --> 00:51:19,960
Is amazing! What the hell are you
talking about?
888
00:51:19,960 --> 00:51:22,680
You are so beautiful, I mean, in the
middle of the white.
889
00:51:22,680 --> 00:51:24,160
I don't find it offensive.
890
00:51:24,160 --> 00:51:26,160
I just think, "Oh, God, that's a bit
weird",
891
00:51:26,160 --> 00:51:28,720
but it's because she just isn't used
to sort of...
892
00:51:28,720 --> 00:51:29,880
..people of colour.
893
00:51:29,880 --> 00:51:31,360
Please, let me take a picture.
894
00:51:31,360 --> 00:51:33,400
Wow! Oh, my God!
895
00:51:33,400 --> 00:51:35,600
This is sort of...
896
00:51:35,600 --> 00:51:39,200
I... It's difficult because I find
it a compliment, but also racially offensive.
897
00:51:39,200 --> 00:51:41,480
No, no... It's a mixed feeling.
It's a compliment,
898
00:51:41,480 --> 00:51:43,280
I swear. OK, thank you.
It's a compliment.
899
00:51:43,280 --> 00:51:46,800
The truth is, British people have
picked up nuances because we're in
900
00:51:46,800 --> 00:51:47,920
a multicultural society.
901
00:51:50,000 --> 00:51:51,320
Albanians aren't.
902
00:51:54,240 --> 00:51:57,080
It doesn't work!
I can tell.
903
00:51:57,080 --> 00:51:58,840
SHE LAUGHS
904
00:52:01,080 --> 00:52:03,360
Just as I was starting to enjoy
myself,
905
00:52:03,360 --> 00:52:06,600
we got the news that there was
a snowstorm coming in.
906
00:52:08,520 --> 00:52:11,480
I had absolutely no intention of
getting trapped in Thethi,
907
00:52:11,480 --> 00:52:15,560
so four hours into our first day, we
drove all the way back down again.
908
00:52:18,120 --> 00:52:20,000
I had been in Albania for a week.
909
00:52:20,000 --> 00:52:22,240
There had been highs and lows and...
910
00:52:22,240 --> 00:52:24,920
"Highs and lows"?
Mate, I'm not reading that.
911
00:52:29,600 --> 00:52:31,120
As the final stage of our journey,
912
00:52:31,120 --> 00:52:34,000
Erjona announced that we would stop
off and check out one of those
913
00:52:34,000 --> 00:52:38,240
Communist-era bunkers. Something on
the bucket list of literally no-one,
914
00:52:38,240 --> 00:52:39,680
not even Communists.
915
00:52:39,680 --> 00:52:41,520
You see? Oh, this is cool,
916
00:52:41,520 --> 00:52:44,640
a depressing little side road that
looks like it leads to our deaths.
917
00:52:44,640 --> 00:52:46,720
But look. Oh, a bunker!
918
00:52:46,720 --> 00:52:48,720
Yay, the bunker!
919
00:52:55,960 --> 00:52:59,920
I'm half expecting to see, like,
Luke Skywalker in or something.
920
00:52:59,920 --> 00:53:02,040
THEY SPEAK ALBANIAN
921
00:53:05,520 --> 00:53:06,680
Jesus. Oh, my God.
922
00:53:06,680 --> 00:53:08,280
This is Rom.
923
00:53:06,680 --> 00:53:08,280
THEY CHUCKLE
924
00:53:08,280 --> 00:53:11,840
Hello, mate. Hello, how are you
doing? Romesh, how are you doing? Nice to meet you.
925
00:53:11,840 --> 00:53:14,880
OK. Rom, Rom, Rom. Rom, nice to meet
you. Nice to meet you. So what is this?
926
00:53:14,880 --> 00:53:17,680
Well, we do... He's a tattoo
artist. You're a tattoo artist? Yes!
927
00:53:17,680 --> 00:53:20,680
We do tattoos and oil paintings and
things like that.
928
00:53:20,680 --> 00:53:24,400
Erm... Erjona took me into this
bunker,
929
00:53:24,400 --> 00:53:29,320
and the initial sort of image as you
walk in is genuinely frightening.
930
00:53:29,320 --> 00:53:32,240
It's just sort of a guy surrounded
by some of the most terrifying imagery
931
00:53:32,240 --> 00:53:35,080
I've ever seen. I mean, you walk in
and on the left-hand side,
932
00:53:35,080 --> 00:53:37,800
there is an angel having her throat
ripped out by a demon.
933
00:53:37,800 --> 00:53:40,800
I didn't know whether to ask him or
not, I just sort of brushed past it.
934
00:53:44,320 --> 00:53:45,880
HE WHISPERS: That's him.
935
00:53:45,880 --> 00:53:48,880
Well, you know that because you were
filming inside, weren't you?
936
00:53:48,880 --> 00:53:50,480
HE LAUGHS
937
00:53:55,040 --> 00:53:58,080
Are you interested in doing a
tattoo?
938
00:53:58,080 --> 00:53:59,560
Me, now? Yeah.
939
00:54:02,680 --> 00:54:05,960
Erm... Erm, yeah...
940
00:54:05,960 --> 00:54:07,760
Erm...
941
00:54:07,760 --> 00:54:09,040
SHE LAUGHS
942
00:54:09,040 --> 00:54:12,400
What do you want to make?
Well, I've got an idea.
943
00:54:12,400 --> 00:54:14,680
What I'd quite like right here...
944
00:54:14,680 --> 00:54:17,400
OK. You know, like...
945
00:54:17,400 --> 00:54:18,960
..the two-headed eagle?
946
00:54:18,960 --> 00:54:21,640
OK, you want to do the Albanian...?
One of those right here.
947
00:54:21,640 --> 00:54:23,160
OK, I got it. The Albanian eagle?
948
00:54:23,160 --> 00:54:24,640
Yeah. Really?
949
00:54:24,640 --> 00:54:26,360
Just here. Head here.
950
00:54:26,360 --> 00:54:27,920
OK. Bottom here.
951
00:54:27,920 --> 00:54:29,640
You know what I mean? Does that make
sense?
952
00:54:29,640 --> 00:54:31,200
Do you think you could do that?
Yeah.
953
00:54:40,400 --> 00:54:41,640
SHE WHISPERS: Does it hurt?
954
00:54:41,640 --> 00:54:44,080
No. Really?
955
00:54:45,880 --> 00:54:48,280
Why did you decide to get that
design?
956
00:54:48,280 --> 00:54:50,280
Well, I just thought, commemorate
the trip.
957
00:54:51,240 --> 00:54:53,240
I was under time pressure, you know.
958
00:54:53,240 --> 00:54:56,360
It's nice. I just thought, you know,
I've liked, enjoyed my time in
959
00:54:56,360 --> 00:55:00,880
Albania. Why not...get this done
and...
960
00:55:00,880 --> 00:55:04,000
And otherwise we don't have an
ending to this bunker bit.
961
00:55:04,000 --> 00:55:05,520
NEEDLE BUZZES
962
00:55:10,000 --> 00:55:13,640
Done. See, that looks cool.
963
00:55:13,640 --> 00:55:16,040
My wife is going to be so impressed
964
00:55:16,040 --> 00:55:19,160
when she finds out I decided to do
this. Wow!
965
00:55:19,160 --> 00:55:23,440
My tattoo was intended to celebrate
our amazing journey together,
966
00:55:23,440 --> 00:55:26,920
the ultimate tribute to a country
I had genuinely come to love.
967
00:55:26,920 --> 00:55:28,560
Erjona, you're up.
968
00:55:30,400 --> 00:55:34,080
Erjona reciprocated by getting her
daughter's name done.
969
00:55:37,080 --> 00:55:39,280
That's how much it hurts. Yeah?
970
00:55:39,280 --> 00:55:41,600
It hurts. Oh, stop crying.
971
00:55:41,600 --> 00:55:43,400
Stop crying?!
972
00:55:43,400 --> 00:55:45,480
HE LAUGHS
973
00:55:50,320 --> 00:55:54,880
Can you do me a favour? Could you
974
00:55:50,320 --> 00:55:54,880
add "Ranganathan"?
975
00:55:50,320 --> 00:55:54,880
SHE LAUGHS
976
00:56:03,240 --> 00:56:04,760
Back in the capital,
977
00:56:04,760 --> 00:56:08,000
it was decided that I should attempt
to climb Tirana's famous pyramid
978
00:56:08,000 --> 00:56:12,000
again, symbolically coming full
circle, or some such bollocks.
979
00:56:22,200 --> 00:56:24,360
CREW MEMBER: Good? I mean, it's
slightly...
980
00:56:24,360 --> 00:56:27,960
I mean it does slightly take the
gloss off it,
981
00:56:27,960 --> 00:56:30,120
being filmed from the top.
982
00:56:30,120 --> 00:56:33,400
It undermines it a little bit,
doesn't it? But...
983
00:56:33,400 --> 00:56:36,000
I conquered what many people in
Albania are calling
984
00:56:36,000 --> 00:56:37,560
the least-challenging climb
in the country.
985
00:56:40,560 --> 00:56:45,400
I sort of arrived in Albania
kind of thinking...
986
00:56:45,400 --> 00:56:47,720
Well, I associated Albania
with Communism, sort of,
987
00:56:47,720 --> 00:56:49,920
being quite bleak, gangsters, etc.
988
00:56:49,920 --> 00:56:54,520
And when you're looking at your
different criteria for where you want to go,
989
00:56:54,520 --> 00:56:59,720
potential for criminal gangs and
Communist bleakness is going to knock Albania out of that for you.
990
00:56:59,720 --> 00:57:01,480
But Albania's moved beyond that.
991
00:57:01,480 --> 00:57:04,840
I'd argue that you feel safer
walking around than you would do in London.
992
00:57:04,840 --> 00:57:07,080
It's got everything you could sort
of want from a trip,
993
00:57:07,080 --> 00:57:08,800
depending on what type of holiday
you want.
994
00:57:08,800 --> 00:57:11,080
You want to come and have
a city break? Tirana's got it.
995
00:57:11,080 --> 00:57:14,280
You want to go to the beach?
Albania's got it. You want to go to the mountains?
996
00:57:14,280 --> 00:57:16,080
Albania's got it.
It's got all of that.
997
00:57:16,080 --> 00:57:19,320
Yes, it's a little bit behind
because of Communism.
998
00:57:19,320 --> 00:57:22,280
Yes, it's a little bit rough around
the edges and they...
999
00:57:22,280 --> 00:57:26,280
You haven't got all of the
cutting-edge mod cons that you might do in some other places.
1000
00:57:26,280 --> 00:57:28,080
But if you're willing
to forgive that,
1001
00:57:28,080 --> 00:57:32,520
and you're keen on coming to a place
that has suffered from preconceptions
1002
00:57:32,520 --> 00:57:36,040
and people's sort of historical
prejudices against the place,
1003
00:57:36,040 --> 00:57:37,520
then it's an amazing place to come.
1004
00:57:41,840 --> 00:57:44,160
My time in Albania was nearly
at an end
1005
00:57:44,160 --> 00:57:47,000
and I headed to the studio to say my
goodbyes.
1006
00:57:48,480 --> 00:57:51,960
Erjona's show hadn't been axed,
and so one week after my first
1007
00:57:51,960 --> 00:57:56,720
shambolic appearance on Albanian TV,
I found myself back on air.
1008
00:58:00,560 --> 00:58:02,400
Romesh Ranganathan. Welcome again.
1009
00:58:02,400 --> 00:58:03,720
Welcome back.
1010
00:58:03,720 --> 00:58:05,520
Hello. Thank you so much for having
me back.
1011
00:58:05,520 --> 00:58:06,880
How do you feel about Albanians?
1012
00:58:06,880 --> 00:58:08,520
Erm, I love it.
1013
00:58:08,520 --> 00:58:09,960
I love Albania.
1014
00:58:09,960 --> 00:58:14,840
Despite Erjona, I really have been
able to enjoy the country.
1015
00:58:14,840 --> 00:58:17,400
You know, we did some amazing
things. It has the friendliest,
1016
00:58:17,400 --> 00:58:19,360
most welcoming people I've ever come
across.
1017
00:58:19,360 --> 00:58:22,240
Because I've enjoyed my time so much
come here, can you see that?
1018
00:58:22,240 --> 00:58:25,240
No way! I've just literally had this
freshly done.
1019
00:58:25,240 --> 00:58:27,400
No way. So that is the Albanian
flag.
1020
00:58:27,400 --> 00:58:29,720
Eagle. Eagle. Eagle, yeah.
The two-headed eagle.
1021
00:58:29,720 --> 00:58:33,720
Yeah. And of course, the other thing
we did was we drank a lot of raki.
1022
00:58:33,720 --> 00:58:35,960
I mean, lots of different types,
spicy, black...
1023
00:58:35,960 --> 00:58:38,600
The spicy, next time I come back,
1024
00:58:38,600 --> 00:58:41,920
I'm going to campaign strongly to
make that illegal because...
1025
00:58:41,920 --> 00:58:44,600
..it's horrible. But everything else
was great. OK.
1026
00:58:51,440 --> 00:58:53,280
SHEEP BLEAT
1027
00:58:53,330 --> 00:58:57,880
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