All language subtitles for Midsomer Murders - S00E22 - 25 Years of Mayhem_track3_[eng]

Midsomer Murders is like
Agatha Christie on speed.

We're in Midsomer now,
and things happen differently here.

The deaths are unusual and fascinating.

Who in their right mind
chooses to be surrounded by death?

Midsomer Murders is one
of the most popular crime dramas,

not just in Britain, but on the planet.

The French version is quite my favourite.

Over the next hour,

we'll celebrate 25 years
of the strangest going on...

I loved the human candle,

which was particularly
amazing to see on set.

...reveal the show's dark secrets...

I believe I've killed 18 people.
And I'm still at large.

...bring curious insights...

He said, "I'm not gonna blink."
And I went, "Wow."

...and look back at
the world-famous stars...

I will drive straight over you.

...who dared take their first
TV steps in Midsomer county.

It's actually quite family—friendly,
despite all the murders.

As we go behind-the-scenes on a
quarter of a century of mystery...

It's like I was in some
sort of apocalyptic world

where people just died all the time.

...and mayhem...

You know, we kill people with cheese.

There isn't another program me,
I think, that can do that.

Have we got a murder weapon?
You're standing in it.

...in the glorious
English countryside.

What's not to like about Midsomer?

As long as you survive it, really.

'I killed them because I wanted to.'

'Death by chocolate.'

'No good deed goes unpunished, eh?'

Here in these deadly woodlands,

filming for the latest series
of Midsomer Murders has begun.

Action!

And Inspector Barnaby has yet
another death to investigate.

Quite possibly,
the 396th Midsomer murder,

but no-one really knows.

They've got this beautiful scenery

and then they've got these murders,

which sometimes are quite outlandish.

Over the past 25 years,

audiences the world over have
embraced Midsomer's reputation

as the deadliest place on television.

Midsomer Murders has a light feel to it,

in a lot of ways,

and has an awful lot of comedy within it.

Of course, the public laughed
at the unfeasible number of deaths,

and all those things.

There would be at least
three or four murders

before Tom Barnaby found out whodunnit!

He's the most useless cop in the world!

But, thankfully,

the Causton Police
are dogged and reliable,

and over the years have brought us,
not one, but two Inspector Barnabys

to keep on top of the body count.

Midsomer takes everything seriously
enough for us to enjoy it,

but not so seriously
that we can't also go,

"What is going on in this place?!"

There's nothing intrinsically
nasty about Midsomer anywhere.

Although, people get murdered.

They're sort of escapist deaths,
fun deaths.

Here we are all celebrating
the 25th anniversary

of Midsomer Murders.

Already enjoying the sights
of Oxfords hire today,

this group of Midsomer fans
are about to discover the location

of one of the series'
most infamous murders.

Here we are in Badger's Drift,

otherwise known as
The Lee in Buckinghamshire.

What you are looking at here
is exactly where,

in the opening sequence
of that very first episode,

you saw Emily Simpson riding
her bicycle along the road.

Here is where the whole story
of Midsomer Murders started.

25 years ago,

the fictional Midsomer village
of Badger's Drift

was the sleepy setting
for the debut episode

of a brand-new crime drama.

Hello, Miss Simpson.
Have a very good afternoon.

The Killings at Badger's Drift,

all the tropes of the provincial
murder drama were there.

There was blackmail and knife killings

and all the rest of those things.

How did she die?
That's easy. Broken neck.

But the question is — did she fall?

Or was she pushed?

The brother and sister had been caught

by the Rainbirds,
who were the local undertakers.

And so they were blackmailing people.

How much do you think it's worth?

Think what the police will make of it

if their forensic people get hold of it!

They'd have a field day.
Oh, ho!

This is the big one, Denny.

This is going to make us
very, very rich! Mummy!

The characters were
wonderfully well-written.

They were caricatures,
of course they were.

But of course, the main star
of this opening whodunnit

was the genial local detective,
Inspector Barnaby.

Who are you? What do you want?

I'm Detective Inspector Barnaby...

and this is Detective Sergeant Troy.
Who are you?

The producer came to see me
with the proposition

that I should play a detective in
this new series he had coming up.

I thought
"Well, I've already done Bergerac."

But it was as far away
from the world of Bergerac

as could possibly be.

Here was a guy who was
a respectably married man.

He had no hang-ups, no psychological
difficulties of life.

What's this, then?
It's Delia Smith.

Stewed neck of lamb
with mushroom dumplings.

You can't go wrong with Delia Smith.
That's what I've always thought.

He finds himself in a world
full of extraordinary characters.

Every one of the people
he sees in the high street there

is a potential murderer!
And I thought that was fun.

You know, Mrs Rainbird,
I'd have said that eight o'clock

was a bit late for your hobby.

I mean, what are you likely
to see flying at that time?

Owls.

I was right there from the beginning.

The pilot, we went to the then producer,

Brian True-May, and we said to him,

"So, you know,
do you think this is going well?"

"Do you think we might get
a series out of it?"

And he said, "I've got plans
for Midsomer Murders for 12 years."

We went straight to John and said,

"Do you wanna
hear something really funny?

"Apparently we're gonna be
doing this for 12 years."

Why do I get the feeling that
everyone is lying to me? Everyone!

They always lie to you, Tom,
and you always know.

That's why you're so good at your job.

And then I was in it
for another 14 years.

Oh, it was amazing.

We got 15.8 million viewers
for that first episode.

It's 2:15.

Said I'd meet Joyce at the fete.
Are you coming?

Yeah, I thought I'd win myself a coconut.

And what inspired this series,
full of strange people and plots,

was a collection of acclaimed
crime novels.

Arghg

It was a series of books by a lovely
writer called Caroline Graham.

I'd read them, actually.
They were terrific.

The original artistic producer
on it, Betty Willingale,

it was clever to spot it,
you know, and do what she did,

along with the first writer,
to make it work for television.

Caroline Graham's books
inspired the first five episodes,

but over the next few years

a host of new writers would take
Barnaby on many new adventures.

We're on.

But there was another key character
whose role was to remain calm

amongst this wicked world of murder.

Dinner's ready, Tom.

It's not easy playing
the nicest woman in the world.

You know Cully's coming tomorrow?

She's going to want
to see a bit of you. Yes.

Just I know how you are when
you get started on a case. Yes.

For 14 years,
it was Barnaby's wife, Joyce,

whose happy home life with Tom
and their daughter Cully

was in stark contrast to the many
deadly challenges they faced,

including Joyce's cooking.

Not much meat on this chicken, is there?

It's not a chicken, it's a quail.

She was a terrible cook.
Fried wren and stuff like that.

Barnaby had to pretend to like them.

Dad, I brought you
a present from Cambridge.

What is it?
It's chicken and ham.

The bad cooking lasted for a bit

but there's limits to how many
lousy meals you can cook.

So she became, er, more and more involved

in the actual cases as time went on.

It was very handy that Joyce
didn't have a career,

because she could therefore have hobbies.

You've caught me digging up
rather too much of your lawn.

Yeah, I'm still working, actually.

Do you have pictures in those plant
encyclopaedias of yours? Yes.

That was quite a handy device for writers

and nice for me, you know, to not
always be sitting in the kitchen.

Being out in the world,
being blown up in a canal.

Or doing watercolour painting,
that was a good one.

Instead of being a grace note
in the great symphony of Midsomer,

she became a whole theme on her own.

Coming up, there's confessions
of a Midsomer sidekick...

When I think of my time on it,

it's like I was in some kind
of apocalyptic world

where people just died all the time.

...as we celebrate a hit series
that's always left us seeing stars.

I'd already watched the show
since the beginning and loved it,

so I jumped at the chance,

little thinking that I might
return for a longer stay.

This is the new DCI Barnaby,
cousin of the other DCI Barnaby.

For 25 years,
Midsomer Murders has lead us on

a trail of death and destruction.

A path which, has in turn,
put many of the quaintest villages

in Oxfords hire on
a rather unusual tourist map.

Here we are outside the estate agent
that was used in an episode

called House In The Woods.

It was Harriet Davis Estate Agency
in that show.

In that episode,
a couple who were looking to buy

the house in the woods

find themselves garrotted outside
the house

and there, the mystery begins.

Over the years, fighting crime
in Midsomer has been quite a task

for the overworked,
understaffed Causton Police.

And when it comes to the real legwork...

the running, jumping, flirting,
or going undercover,

it often falls to the Midsomer sidekick.

The lowly detective sergeant

and first in line was
Detective Sergeant Gavin Troy.

John and I clicked from day one
and we laughed every single day.

In the books, he was a right little thug.

I could force it, sir.

You've broken enough rules
for one day, Troy,

thank you all the same.

He had no charm at all and was entirely

not good detective material.

That was changed in
the television version.

The character became...
I think the word is "lovable".

He couldn't drive a car.

Wherever he went, used to hit
the hedge or hit somebody else.

Yeah, Troy was an appalling driver.

But I used to love it
because it meant that I could do

a lot of the stunt driving
that we could do.

Some of it I wasn't allowed to do,
but a lot of it I was.

Duh-duh-duh...

Troy!

But after six years on the rural beat,

actor Daniel Casey
decided to move onto pastures new.

Thank you, sir.

I mean... thank you for everything
over the years.

I will never forget that final scene
cos we filmed that last,

and when Barnaby speaks to Troy,

er, it did feel very real.

I know how much I've, er,
I've relied on you, Troy.

Midsomer will miss you.

And I'll miss Midsomer.

He's a leading man
in every sense of the word.

He led that company beautifully.

Troy?

Now, the next sidekick was
John Hopkins. He's a terrific actor.

What we got?
Good question, sir.

Victim's name's Nicholas Turner,

he's a local solicitor.
Took a stroll off his roof.

He was a very dark
and kind of brooding figure.

Initial impression as to cause of death —

catastrophic head and spinal injuries.

He's quite a snappy dresser.
Erm...

And then Jason Hughes came in.

And you are?
Er, Constable Jones, sir.

Constable Jones.

Yeah, I thought it was just
brilliant the way that they did it.

No Scott this morning?

No, he called in sick.
I'm on my own.

I just showed up in a uniform
and somebody said,

"Well, where's the guy?"
and they went, "Oh, he's sick."

And that was it!
He was gone and I was in.

Do you possess a suit, Jones?

Yes, sir.

And a tie?
I do, sir, yes.

How do you fancy working with
the CID for a couple of days?

Yes, sir.

They made me do all kinds of stuff.

The nun would be the standout one.

I was luring a killer...
to then pounce on them.

Oh! 00f!

On your feet.
Who the hell trained her?

I mean, when I think of my time
on it, those seven years,

it's like I was in some kind of
apocalyptic world

where people just died all the time.

I haven't been up that way for a while.

Junction 2 to Junction 7
on the M40, I just divert,

just go somewhere else.

Start to get kind of hot flushes
and you know...

memories of murder.

Well, there's plenty of that around,

but one of the key questions
in any episode of Midsomer

is not just whodunnit,
but more like who's in it?

How wonderful.
But no.

I was one suspected of murder myself.

Apart from the person who killed him,

I was probably
the last person to see him.

Because across the past 25 years,

the series has played host to
a Who's Who of

the British acting profession.

We get fantastic guests.

Over the years,
there was just the entire range of

the British acting profession.

I took an order earlier,

three tiered Dungeons & Dragons
in white and dark chocolate.

As an actor,
I always think Midsomer Murders,

it's one of those boxes
that has to be ticked.

What was brilliant about
my character is that she was

the suspected murderer
for pretty much the whole episode.

Do you really think I would
kill Dominic and keep the weapon?!

I mean, do you honestly believe
that I would be that stupid?!

The twist was she actually wasn't
the murderer.

That was ideal for me.

And there was one TV comedy
national treasure

who set the wheels in motion
for guest stars to come.

An early one was Richard Briers.
Legend.

In Death's Shadow, from 1998,
the star of The Good Life

was playing the village priest

and Call The Midwife's
Judy Parfitt, his wife.

I have a police inspector
coming to see me.

Oh, don't tell me, Stephen,

you've been found with
your hand in the steeple fund.

Don't be ridiculous.

He came along to play a priest
and he was wonderfully enthusiastic.

Yes, vicar.

Looks as if we are gonna have
the weather for it. Absolutely.

Did you manage to find someone
to open the fete, a celebrity?

No, not yet, but I may have had
an idea. I'll be back forthwith.

We were sitting waiting to go into
the church

where there was gonna be
the big scene, the reveal,

that Richard Briers, who, you know,

the loveliest man in the world
kind of thing,

does turn out to be the bad guy.

And I'm sitting with him
and he says to me,

"I'm gonna do some acting in
this scene."

And I went, "Are you, Richard?"
Yes.

He said, "I'm not gonna blink."

And I went, "Wow."

And that's exactly what he did.

It was terrifying.

Stephen Wentworth,
we're arresting you for the murders

of Richard Bailey, David Whiteley
and Simon Fletcher.

You don't have to say anything
but it may harm your defence

if you do not mention when questioned

something which you later rely on
in court.

It was him.
There was no planning,

no calculation,

he had to die by your hand
before his operation.

And it was all the more shocking
because it was Richard Briers,

cos you didn't expect it.

Please come in.

It was a lovely bit of casting.

Many a famous face has popped up
in Midsomer Murders,

but the cast list also includes
some now well-known names

who weren't quite so familiar
at the time.

Edward, what was all the noise about?

It was a police car.
Police car?

In 2009, the Causton Police
were called to investigate

the very strange death of a young man in

Midsomer's miniature village.

What they found was future
Oscar-winning actress Olivia Colman

playing the unlikely suspect, Bernice.

The police have found a body.
Here in the village.

A body?

Oh, Edward, that's terrible.

She wasn't a huge star then.

She just has a kind of truthfulness
as an actor.

I was just gobsmacked.

She had that extraordinary ability
of being 100% within the part.

I just know you're going to win.

I'll be cheering for you
all the way. Oh, for God sake,

leave me alone, will you?!

She just can't
step an emotional foot wrong.

I don't think she could do it
if she tried.

'She didn't like me putting flowers
on the graves.

'She smashed them.

'So I smashed her.'

# And the green grass grows
All around, all around

# And the green grass grows
All around. #

I'm not in the least surprised
that she's gone on to be

a great lady of English acting.
Not at all surprised.

But amongst a cast of more than
1,000 actors over 23 series,

there have been some surprises.

Are you still seeing that girl?

I wonder what she'd say
if she knew about me.

Get lost, Laura.

I used to do mentoring
at the Guildhall School

and one of my mentees was Orlando Bloom

and the minute I met him,
I knew he was gonna be a movie star.

And so I read the current script
and I thought,

"Well, Orlando could do that so easily,"

so I put his name forward
to the casting director

and there you go.

You're Peter Drink water?
And you're police.

It's the same smell.
You can always tell.

And then he went on to be an elf,
there you are.

And Midsomer was the starting point
for another British movie star.

Spotted here
by Harry Potter's David Bradley,

who's worked with a fair few
budding actors himself.

Nice day for it, young'un.

It was my last episode
and there was this young boy...

really handsome and he was quite
a gentle soul, a really nice guy.

I just thought I hope
he doesn't get eaten up

and spat out by this business.

I will drive straight over you!

Henry Cavill went on
to do rather well for himself.

Unfortunately for the future star
of Superman,

Henry's Kryptonian powers
weren't quite developed enough

to save him from death by Midsomer.

But there was one
fleeting appearance that would

blossom into something
far more long-term.

Excuse me.

Neil actually had appeared
in Midsomer Murders

in a fairly early series, I think,
playing a gardener.

He spent a lot of time in
the hothouse being quizzed

and being generally suspicious.

Where are you going?!
Back to the garden.

I'm a gardener, remember?!

A particularly randy gardener
who flirted with Joyce Barnaby.

Much to Tom's irritation.

I've brought you a few Pennington gems.

Oh, that's very kind of you, Daniel.

Bear in mind,
the white Bedder is vigorous.

I think that was only time
anybody flirted with Joyce Barnaby.

I'd be quite happy to come back
and make sure everything's nicely...

Bedded 'm'?

That was a fun day of filming.

Right. I'll, er...

I'll be off, then.

I'd already watched the show
since beginning and loved it,

so when my agent rang up and said,

"Ooh, do you wanna do
an episode of Midsomer?"

I said, "Oh, that'd be fantastic,
that'd be brilliant."

So I jumped at the chance.
Little thinking that, erm,

I might return for a longer stay.

It was nine years later

when that moment finally came
for DCI Tom Barnaby

and actor john Nettles to retire
from this hotspot of murder

and mayhem.

Whoa. Champagne!

Well, I did it for 13 years.
A long, long time.

I was getting on for 70
and I couldn't run any more.

I couldn't think of
any more reactions to dead bodies,

to be honest with you, I couldn't.

So, are we saying it's suspicious?

Well, the question is —
was she dead before immersion?

There's no obvious signs of struggle.

I'll know more when
I've opened her up, Tom.

Torn.

Sir.

Ah, yeah, well, I suppose
I'd better get changed.

When john decided to retire,
we started quite a long process

of quite a long list
of potential replacements.

After two years, it was finally decided

that Neil Dudgeon
was the man for the job.

Barnaby.

It's John.
'Oh, John!'

He was on everybody's shortlist.

This isn't personal, is it, Tom?

Oh, no, no.
This is preventative detection.

OK. I'll, er, dig a little deeper.

But there was something of
an unusual hurdle

for anyone replacing
Inspector Tom Barnaby.

In Britain, Midsomer Murders
is known as Midsomer Murders,

whereas in a lot of territories
around the world,

it's called Barnaby or Inspector Barnaby,

so somebody came up with the idea
that Tom Barnaby,

John Nettles' character,
has a cousin who's also

a police detective chief inspector

and his name of course,
being his cousin, is John Barnaby.

That was miraculous. Ha-ha-ha!

Yeah, he was a cousin
who had come from...

...Cousin Land.

This is the new DCI Barnaby,
cousin of the other DCI Barnaby.

Oh.

And I certainly didn't think,
"Oh, I'm going to Midsomer

"and change anything."

I'll go to Midsomer and do what John
was doing cos it was brilliant.

It's a great show.

You're the local. You take it.

My first scene as John Barnaby,
once John had left

and I'd kind of moved in,

it was in the sort of pathology lab

and then all these people came into
this little room

and they were all having a look
going, "Can he do it?

"Is he gonna be all right?

"Is this OK or are we all gonna be
looking for another job next week?"

But somehow we have to encompass...
this little news item.

"Palmer was never keen on driving
a Lotus X4,

"because being a left-hander,
he found the positioning of

"the gear lever more awkward
than usual."

See, rig ht—handed heads hot, easy-peasy,

bang, as per your photos.
But, as a lefty...

...damn near impossible.

Conclusion...?

Precisely. See you later.

But the real test would come when
we saw the new Inspector Barnaby

on TV, along with his wife Sarah
and dog Sykes.

When we first took over,

there was lots of talk of there
being sort of "big shoes" to fill.

I think, for fans,
there was a mixed reaction,

I think at the beginning.

Mr Barnaby, Mrs Barnaby.

I was certainly concerned, but actually,

the reception was very warm.

I hope Sykes didn't disgrace himself.

Oh, he did make some amorous
advances towards two of my bitches,

which wasn't the best of starts.

But I think from Sykes's
point—of—view, it was top banana.

Consider him part of the pack.

Fantastic news, thank you.

I get people who sort of see me
in the street and go,

"Oh, yeah, you are the new
Mrs Barnaby, aren't you?"

And you think,
"I've been doing it for ten years,

"how long do I need to do it?"

Here we are, ten, 12 years later,
it's, erm,

we're still 'ere talking about it,
so fingers crossed.

Coming up,
how Midsomer Murders went on to make

a killing around the world.

It's just great in French.

And Midsomer's greatest mystery
is finally solved.

A lot of people think it's
the same village we keep going to.

They look at you and then they say,

"There can't be anybody left alive
in that village."

In the Oxfords hire town of Thame,

a place that has featured regularly
as the fictional town of Causton,

a Midsomer Murders guided tour
is in full swing.

Here we are, at, erm...

Causton Town Hall,
the centre of Midsomer County.

Of course, it's not really Causton,

we are actually outside
Thame's Town Hall, as you can see.

Indeed, one of the key attractions
of Midsomer Murders

is its quintessentially English
chocolate box setting.

The countryside's very important,
I think.

When I used to watch it
before I was in the show,

I'd be on the sofa with my wife

and you'd have this opening shot
of some beautiful village

and a Norman church
and lovely thatched cottages.

We were sort of intrigued,

"Where do they film that?
It's so beautiful."

And I still, I find myself
in a beautiful village like this

and I say, "Where are we exactly?"

Midsomer is... Well, it's along
the M4, M40 corridor,

usually west.

It's Hertfordshire, it's Oxfords hire,

it's Buckinghamshire...

Anywhere the script demands.

Hear that, dear viewers? A script.

Because Midsomer,
home of the national collection

of rural murders,

is, we must remind you,
a completely fictional place.

I don't know how many times
I've had to sort of explain that

to people who go, "This little
village and all these murders?"

They look at you first,
they set it up as a gag,

and then they say,

"There can't be anybody
left alive in that village!"

"I bet it's cheap to buy house!"

A lot of people think it's
the same village we keep going to,

but it's not.

We make up the names.
Got to hammer that home, it's not.

It's not a village.

It's a county, everybody, not a village.

It is a huge English county
made up of beautiful villages.

And made up of people who are insane

and want to kill people!

Suddenly, there was a rather weighty
object in my hand, and, well...

What can I say?
She stepped out in front of it.

Let's put Solomon Gorge
on the Psycho map!

Are you ready?

Three, two...

Over 25 years, Midsomer County —
not Village...

has delivered an impressive
number of murders...

nearly 400 at the last count,

with ever imaginative new ways
to tax the Causton police.

I think what's genius about it

is that it manages to marry together
all of the components

of your Agatha Christie,
Margery Allingham,

you know, all the greats
of the golden age

of whodunnits in England,

while being nominally contemporary.

This is the essential contradiction,

that all these beautiful,
look-at-me villages,

the half timbered cottages and so forth,

all this is subversive, of course,
in Midsomer Murders

because your dear old lady
is a homicidal maniac.

All human life is there.

That chocolate box image
is frayed slightly in Midsomer.

I always say that
ifjesus had played a sport,

I'm sure it would have been cricket.
Come in.

You're looking at beautiful cottages
and gardens

while fetishes are going on
in the background!

Behold, I was shapen in wickedness.

People just like to see, especially
somewhere where you think,

"This is all so beautiful,
this is all lovely.

"Oh, my goodness, that man's
been eaten by a wild boar!"

Most of his chest and stomach are gone.

Not to get too technical about it,

I'd say he's been eaten by something.

That sort of contrast
of one with the other,

I think, is sort of rich
and appealing to us,

in some human way.

It might seem like
the most British of TV dramas,

but you might be surprised to hear
that Midsomer

is exceptionally well-travel led.

The international appeal of Midsomer

is something that a lot of people
don't know about.

It's massive in Scandinavia,
huge in Europe,

Australia and New Zealand love it,
it's now in America.

When I signed up to the job,
I didn't know that.

I got recognised on my honeymoon
in Vietnam, of all places.

And I was just like, this is crazy.

John Kinsella.

It's just great in French
because the man voicing me,

he had the most beautiful voice
in the world

and he made Tom Barnaby
sound like the most kind,

loving man God ever put breath into.

Denmark is one of the countries

that has been a great supporter
of Midsomer's.

When we got to the hundredth episode
of Midsomer,

as a kind of celebration

and a sort of thank you
to the international audience,

somebody came up with the brilliant idea

of setting part of the 100th episode
in Denmark.

We were in Copenhagen
with some lovely actors

who I'd only just stopped watching
in The Killing.

Everything here tallies with the
crime scene at the Calders factory,

which means...
he was killed in Midsomer.

And that makes him your problem.

Ann Eleonora Jorgensen
played the mother in The Killing

and they said,
"What are you doing next?"

She said, "Midsomer Murders."

They go, "You're doing
an episode of Midsomer Murders?!

"That's fantastic."

She said they just go bonkers
for Midsomer Murders in Denmark.

We're treated incredibly well.

The name Midsomer or Barnaby
opened doors you would not believe.

We were allowed to film
outside the Royal Palace,

we filmed inside Copenhagen's
police headquarters.

And we had a fantastic
couple of weeks in Denmark

and I think made for a very good episode.

You're sneaky.

That impresses me.

Well, I'm glad you're impressed.

Coming UP"-

Midsomer's greatest murderer
is finally unmasked.

I believe I've killed 18 people,
and I'm still at large.

And how Midsomer dines out
on the most savoury of deaths.

Midsomer Murders has found a unique place

in television history.

Not just because it's been
killing people off for 25 years,

or the volume of deaths it manages
to squeeze into each episode.

No, it's the way they kill 'em

that's really caught our imagination.

The great joy about
Midsomer Murders, one of them,

is that, for the slightest reason,

people will kill.

Wh-what are you doing?
I was just...

She fell.

'They don't have to have
great motive.'

'Very short tempers.'

In Midsomer, you don't wanna...

go upsetting the apple cart
down there, mate.

Just wanted to shut him up.

And the bowling machine...
was right there.

There are many favourite odd ways
that people have found

to kill other people.

It's not your urban murdery thing where,

oh, it's some sort of drug-addled
mugging goes wrong.

They're sort of escapist deaths,
fun deaths.

Over 22 series,

the pressure to deliver
ever more outlandish deaths

has proved a grisly challenge
for the writers and set designers.

I love the human candle,
which was particularly amazing

to just see on set, actually,

the way that they made the, sort of,
entire wax body.

The human Roman candle.

One of Nero's favourite ways
to kill naughty Christians.

My favourite deaths in the show?

There are so many to choose from
over the years.

There was an episode called
The Dark Rider.

It opened, there was a storm
over this castle...

In the storm, he looks down
and sees a headless horseman.

And I love it when I'm reading
an episode and think,

"How are we going to sort of justify...

"he, and we,
have seen a headless horseman?"

Eye holes.
But no current occupant.

And fans on our tourist trail
are about to discover

the location of one of Midsomer's
most infamous crimes.

Everything in this village centres
around one thing — the dairy.

So, this is the beautiful,
picturesque village of Turville,

which has been used frequently,
not only in Midsomer Murders,

but in The Vicar Of Dibley
and Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

In fact, you can see
at the top of the hill,

the very windmill that was used
in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

And, of course,
also in Schooled In Murder,

the episode where it particularly
featured in Midsomer Murders.

The cheese one is the one
that everyone absolutely loves.

Hello?

People are forever saying, "Oh,
the one with Martine McCutcheon."

What are you playing at?

Because I'm not in the mood for games.

Not today.

Crushed by wheels of cheese.

Brilliant.

And I think that's really, sort of,
clever.

Have we got a murder weapon?
You're standing in it.

We kill people with cheese.

There isn't another program me,
I think, that can do that.

I mean, the writers,

whoever are thinking up
all of these murders...

how they keep going,
finding new ones, I'll never know.

Picking a murder out of the air
is amazing.

I spend most of the year
sending texts to myself saying,

"This'd be a great murder."
"Oh, this'd be an even better one."

Over the past eight years,
writer Jeff Povey

has come up with some of Midsomer's
most talked about deaths.

Hooking in some deadly fishing...

The man in the vat of worms,
he was killed,

and then dragged into the tackle shop.

The actor was amazing, he said,
"Yeah, I'll get in there,

"and they can crawl over me
if they want."

...creepy comic book capers,

and a somewhat gruesome adventure
in the art world.

I had one where he was drowned in paint.

You know what they say, Nelson, in art,

everything has a deeper meaning.

I think the process for a
spectacular death is, basically,

what is your world?
What are you doing here?

Come to tell me how great I am?

When I did the cricket one,
I knew for a fact

that they had these bowling machines

that hurled balls down.

I thought, "What if you were tied up
and you couldn't move?

"And there was 100 balls
going 100 miles an hour,

"it's bound
to kill you, isn't it?"

And then we talked to a medical person

and they said, "|t just takes one
to hit them on the heart

"and it'll stop it"
or whatever, you know.

And you go, "OK."

That's probably one of my
favourite ones cos it's very visual.

You could feel it,
you can really feel that.

And I just think
the writerly imagination,

you sometimes think, "Oh, get help.

"Where has this come from?
What's wrong with you?"

There's a few good deaths
in the next one,

that's filming at the moment.

Camera set! And action!

As soon as you get this message,
grab Etta and get to the shelter.

Including this latest episode,
I believe I've killed 18 people.

And I'm still at large.

Prior to his demise...

he called two numbers.

It's terrible to say,
but it's great fun killing people,

it really is.

But come every Midsomer murder,

often the first person at the
death scene is not a police officer.

Looks like she was immersed in this stuff

when it was in liquid form.

'For Kam,'

I think one of her favourite murders,

possibly,
was the incident at Cooper Hill,

with the aliens and the spaceships,

because she couldn't solve it.

So, you're saying this stuff's afien?

I'm saying is alien for me.

'For her, that was probably fun,

'for the actors,
but was probably not fun,

'because they had to be put
into black bags'

covered in black goo.

I used to be very protective
over the murdered actors.

Just because they had to hold
really uncomfortable positions

for long periods of time.

I would just make sure there's a pillow,

or they could lean on something.

In 2016, Manjinder Virk
became the fourth actor

to take on the busy role
of Midsomer pathologist.

'The first day on set,
it was quite surreal.'

Please, call me Kam.

There was something familiar
about being with Neil,

it was part of my growing up.

Don't suppose there's much you can
tell from an empty room, is there?

Quite the opposite.
Right.

'I took the job on
because I liked the character,'

and I thought she was interesting.

See this? The weft of the carpet?

It's flattened in the same way.

I didn't realise that it would be
part of a, sort of,

controversial headline

because I was the first person
of colour as a regular on the show.

It's important to have this discussion.

The thing about Midsomers is,

it's so out there as a show,

it's important to realise that
people from all walks of life

can be represented.

So, how are you finding the job?

It's not what I was expecting so far,

but I'm enjoying the challenge.

Cheers.
Cheers. Cheers.

Across the years,
the Midsomer pathologists

have had one of the most
gruesome jobs on television.

And not just because of the
criminally shapeless boiler suits.

Fleur came into the series
peering into a vat of beer.

Boiled human flesh isn't something
I work with every day.

I'll need to consult a specialist.

And possibly a cookbook.

I believe there had been
five pathologists.

Barry Jackson played
the first pathologist, of course.

Where is it, then, the body?

Most of it's in the hall.

I know, of late,

they have been often the
love interest for the sidekick.

Do you remember when they took us
to watch a postmortem

and the big Scottish guy fainted?

You and I had to take him outside.

Then you suggested we go
across the road for sushi,

and he nearly fainted again.
Didn't know what he was missing.

Fleur came in and she was not that.

Sorry I'm late, I was removing
a chainsaw from a chest cavity.

'She's a force of nature.
She always knows best.'

She's always sort of solving
the crimes for us.

And we sort of are scared of her,
love her, need her.

Fleur has wonderful back stories.

She's part of a female biker gang.

'She's been married in Las Vegas.'

It's bringing back memories
of my first wedding.

I didn't know you'd been married.

I've been down the aisle a few times.

Although, it wasn't an aisle as such...

in Vegas.

So, Neil and I spend most episodes
pulling looks and going, "What?"

What's that?
A shinai stick.

With modifications.
They use it in kendo.

I once shacked up with a local champion.

She's some girl.

Enrobed, that's how they
describe it, isn't it, on the box?

Mind you, they're usually talking
about a hazelnut.

My very favourite murder to explore
was death by chocolate.

I won't be able to get stuff
out of his windpipe

until I get him back to the lab.

It'll be all the way into his lungs,
I shouldn't wonder.

'Pathologists, traditionally,'

are shown to be rather ghoulish,
dark humoured people.

I'd say he died because
he got turned into a human lolly.

'I think humour is very important.'

It's a light-hearted show, really,
you know,

we're not Line Of Duty,
that's the point of Midsomer,

it's the other end of that spectrum.

The comedy element, I think, is
a very important part of the tone.

You missed a bit.

It's what helps it to be cosy
rather than scary.

It's not that we are glib.

You have to worry about someone
who's been killed,

and then be humorous to survive yourself.

Now buzz off, let me get back to work.

Barnaby stays very, very sane
and true straight through it.

Mrs Dagmar, I'm here on
official police business. Oh!

In that case I'm all ears, all eyes,
and all the rest of me.

'He never jokes about victims,
never, ever.'

Winter can, and he could get
admonished for it.

Fleur can, cos she does,
she jokes about everything.

That's the last time I go to a gym.
You go to the gym?

But as long as Barnaby
doesn't succumb to it,

we're on safe ground.

Do you believe her?

It all sounds plausible enough, but
something just doesn't feel right.

I say this with some pride.

Years ago, there was some sort
of survey among police

as to what was the most accurate

representation of the police.

All right, I give up.

Why did you cross the road?

Like I said... it's my day off.

And Midsomer, you'll be astonished
to hear this,

Midsomer was adjudged
the least accurate representation

of actual police work.

Well, I was amazed.

Which I think is probably
another part of its charm.

We're not trying to be real,
it's a made-up land, you know,

these stories are fantastical and
we're not gonna apologise for it.

And I think that's probably
something that people enjoy,

cos they're like,
"At least they're honest,

"they're not trying to be anything
that they're not."

Cheers.

So, ladies and gentlemen,

this is where our tour
of Midsomer County ends.

Exactly where it began,
here in Badger's Drift,

25 years after that very first episode.

And so I hope that you've enjoyed
our little tour today.

Thank you very much.

This is actually my 25th year as well.

I started filming in 1997.

To be honest, it's as fresh today
as it was then.

The story fines are...

What we're working on at the moment,
is extraordinary.

Killer reconfigured the venting system.

25 years?
It's kind of incredible

that any show could have within it

the seeds of its own reinvention
so much that it can keep changing.

There's no reason for it ever
to stop, as far as I can see.

When you look at the rest
of the TV landscape,

it's really, erm,
it's really astonishing.

Are you retiring?
Me?

Whatever gave you that idea?

Well, you did. Sort of.

All those pictures of quaint cottages.

Retire? I'm in my prime, Winter.

'I just want people to carry on
loving Midsomer murders,

'as I do.'

Happy birthday, Midsomer.

Happy quarter-century, Midsomer Murders.

Many, many happy returns.

So many years, so many deaths,

so many criminals caught.

Well done.

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