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>> Woman on tape:
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Unit two: saying hello.
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How would you say hello
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to your friend Mr. Wong?
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>>
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>> Woman:
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And how would you say good-bye
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to your friend Mr. Wong?
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>> UM, UM...
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>> Good.
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>> DAMN IT.
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EVER SINCE I WAS YOUNG, I KNEW
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I WAS DESTINED FOR GREAT
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THINGS.
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NOVELTIES-- THEY ARE AN ART
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FORM THAT SOCIETY FAILS TO
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FORM THAT SOCIETY FAILS TO
RECOGNIZE.
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RECOGNIZE.
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I LOVE KNOWING THAT SOMEWHERE
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IN THE WORLD, LIKE-MINDED
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PEOPLE ARE BUSY MAKING
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POINTLESS ITEMS LIKE FART
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MACHINES AND FAKE POO.
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I MEAN, I WOULDN'T WANT
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TO EXIST IN A WORLD WITHOUT
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THAT KIND OF FRIVOLITY.
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THAT KIND OF FRIVOLITY.
>> Woman:
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>> Woman:
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YOU AND YOUR INVENTIONS!
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IF YOU WANT ANYTHING
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MADE THESE DAYS, IT'S A BUYER'S
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MARKET.
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ANYTHING YOU CAN THINK OF,
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ANYTHING AT ALL, SOMEBODY
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SOMEWHERE IS WILLING TO
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MAKE IT.
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YOU CAN TRY STAYING LOYAL TO
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YOUR LOCAL ECONOMY... BUT IF
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YOU FOLLOW THE MONEY, IT ALL
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LEADS TO CHINA.
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I AM AN INVENTOR, A NOVELTY
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INVENTOR.
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...MR. JAMES CHOI?
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HI. THIS IS JOHNSON.
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JOHNSON.
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O.K., GREAT, GREAT.
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IT'S A HUMOROUS DOMESTIC
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HYGIENE PRODUCT.
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YOU KNOW, UM, THERE COMES A TIME
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IN EVERY MAN'S LIFE WHEN HE
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GRAB THE BULL BY THE HORNS
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AND...
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WELL, I GUESS WHAT I'M TRYING
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TO S... WELL, THAT TIME IS
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RIGHT NOW FOR ME.
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I'M TELLING YOU, RIGHT NOW.
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MY CALLING CARD'S ACTUALLY
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RUNNING OUT RIGHT NOW, BUT DID
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YOU RECEIVE THAT, UM, MONEY
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TRANSFER THAT I SENT TO YOU
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EARLIER THIS AFTERNOON?
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GOOD, GOOD, AND THE HOTEL
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RESERVATION IS DEFINITELY
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IN MY NAME.
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O.K., AND YOU WILL BE ABLE TO
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PICK ME UP FROM THE AIRPORT,
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CORRECT?
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OH, NO, NO, I AM NOT
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FINISHED TALKING TO YOU YET.
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>> IT'S ALL ARRANGED, MOM.
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MY ASSOCIATE, JAMES CHOI, HE
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JUST NEEDS THE FUNDS AND A
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SAMPLE, THAT'S IT.
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IT'S GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT.
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>> ASSOCIATE?
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JOHNSON, I MEAN, YOU JUST MET
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HIM ON THE INTERNET.
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YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HIM AND
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YOU'RE GOING OFF TO CHINA?
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>> WILL YOU PLEASE GIVE ME
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A RIDE TO THE AIRPORT?
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>> NO, NO, NO, I WILL
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ABSOLUTELY NOT!
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>> WILL YOU PLEASE GIVE ME
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A RIDE TO THE AIRPORT?
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I'M SO NOT
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GETTING INVOLVED IN THIS.
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THANKS, BETH.
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>> WELL... I'M LEAVING.
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>> OH, NO!
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>> NOW WILL YOU GIVE ME
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A RIDE TO THE AIRPORT?
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>> NO, JOHNSON! NO!
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>> BYE, MOM.
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>> OH, JOHNSON!
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YOU GOT TO LET HIM GO.
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JUST GOT TO LET HIM GO
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THIS TIME.
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>>
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OH, JOHNSON.
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>> YOU LITTLE SHIT!
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HOPE THE TALIBAN DOESN'T
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GET YOU!
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>> OH, MY GOD!
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>> Man on tape: Welcome to the
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Hess Educational Organization
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Mandarin Course.
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The course is divided into 33
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units, each describing different
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aspects of daily life.
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Unit one: greetings.
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Hello, Miss Lin.
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How are you?
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This is my colleague.
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Good luck!
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Unit two: introduction.
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Where are you from?
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I'M from America.
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Good luck.
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>> Woman on speaker: In
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preparation for landing, we ask
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that you put your seat tables...
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SIR.
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SIR!
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SIR, WE'RE LANDING.
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SIR, WE'RE LANDING.
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[WOMAN SPEAKING MANDARIN
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OVER SPEAKER...]
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OVER SPEAKER...]
>> YOU'RE NOT JAMES CHOI?
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>> YOU'RE NOT JAMES CHOI?
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JAMES CHOI? OR...
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JAMES CHOI? OR...
YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?
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YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?
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>> Man on answering machine:
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NI HAO...JAMES CHOI.
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NI HAO...JAMES CHOI.
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>> EXCUSE ME. UH, TAXI?
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TAXI?
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>> NI HAO...JAMES CHOI.
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NI HAO...JAMES CHOI.
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>> MR. JAMES CHOI, THIS IS
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JOHNSON SPEAKING.
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I'M HERE IN SHANGHAI, CHINA.
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I GUESS I MISSED YOU
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AT THE AIRPORT.
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AT THE AIRPORT.
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SO... I MADE IT TO THE HOTEL.
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SO... I MADE IT TO THE HOTEL.
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IT'S FINE.
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I LOOK FORWARD TO OUR MEETING
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TOMORROW, WHICH IS AT 11 A.M.
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SHARP AT THE Y.Y. PUB.
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SO PLEASE CALL ME BACK
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IMMEDIATELY AND CONFIRM
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THAT YOU GOT THIS.
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I LOOK FORWARD TO OUR MEETING.
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ALL RIGHT, YOU HAVE A GOOD NIGHT
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NOW, O.K.?
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CALL ME.
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CALL ME.
BYE-BYE NOW.
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BYE-BYE NOW.
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STOP FOR A MOMENT.
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TAKE A DEEP BREATH.
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TAKE A GOOD LOOK AT THE WORLD
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TAKE A GOOD LOOK AT THE WORLD
AROUND YOU.
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AROUND YOU.
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THERE ARE DOZENS OF INVENTIONS
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WITHIN TOUCHING DISTANCE THAT
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YOU'VE PROBABLY NEVER EVEN
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CONSIDERED.
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CONSIDERED.
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DID YOU KNOW THE SLINKY WAS
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ACCIDENTALLY INVENTED BY A MAN
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BY THE NAME OF RICHARD JAMES?
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RICHARD WAS AN ENGINEER WORKING
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ON A NAVY BATTLESHIP, AND HE
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WAS EXPERIMENTING WITH TENSION
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SPRINGS TO MONITOR POWER WHEN
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ONE OF 'EM FELL TO THE GROUND
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AND JUST KEPT GOING AND GOING
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AND GOING AND GOING.
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HE DECIDED TO CALL HIS WIFE
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BETTY AND TELL HER ABOUT IT.
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AND BETTY SAID TO HERSELF,
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"HMM, LET'S CALL IT SLINKY."
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AT THAT MOMENT, AN IDEA
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FOR A TOY WAS BORN.
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RICHARD AND BETTY DECIDED TO
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TAKE A CHANCE WITH THEIR IDEA,
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AND THEY INVESTED A MEASLY $500
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TO MANUFACTURE IT.
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GUESS WHAT.
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OVER A QUARTER BILLION HAVE
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BEEN SOLD, AND TO THIS DAY,
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THEY'RE STILL MADE IN THE
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U.S.A.
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SO WHAT AM I DOING IN CHINA?
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SO WHAT AM I DOING IN CHINA?
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HOW DO?
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>> HI, MRS. CLEMMONS.
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>> HOW ARE YOU?
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>> I'M GOOD, GOOD.
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UM, I WOULD LIKE TO INVITE YOU
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TO MY INVESTORS MEETING THIS
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SATURDAY.
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>> OH, INVESTOR.
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DOES THAT MEAN MONEY?
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>> UH, YES, MA'AM.
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>> YOUR MONEY OR MINE?
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HEY, JIM.
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I REALLY WANT YOU TO COME
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TO MY MEETING.
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>> COME TO YOUR MEETING?
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>> HEY, KATRINA.
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BIG-TIME INVESTMENT OPPORTUNITY.
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HEY, BILLY.
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00:11:06,873 --> 00:11:08,012
A GIANT STEP FORWARD FOR
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ALL HOMO SAPIENS.
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00:11:09,151 --> 00:11:11,360
ALL HOMO SAPIENS.
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00:11:18,850 --> 00:11:20,438
WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME AND LEARN
223
00:11:20,438 --> 00:11:21,646
ABOUT MY HUMOROUS DOMESTIC
224
00:11:21,646 --> 00:11:24,994
HYGIENE PRODUCT, JUNIOR?
225
00:11:24,994 --> 00:11:25,961
>> IS YOUR SISTER GONNA
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BE THERE?
227
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>> HUH?
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>> HYGIENE?
229
00:11:29,516 --> 00:11:31,587
WHAT IS THAT, SOAP AND WATER?
230
00:11:31,587 --> 00:11:33,415
>> IT'S BASICALLY A GIANT STEP
231
00:11:33,415 --> 00:11:35,211
FORWARD FOR ALL HOMO SAPIENS.
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>> OH, UH-HUH.
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WELL, THAT'S NICE.
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UH-HUH, THAT'LL WORK OUT
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BEAUTIFULLY.
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[CAR HORN BEEPS, TRAFFIC
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PASSING...]
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PASSING...]
239
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NI HAO. NI HAO.
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NI HAO. NI HAO.
241
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NI HAO. NI HAO.
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UM, I'M LOOKING FOR
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THIS ADDRESS.
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THIS ADDRESS.
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THAT WAY? O.K. XIE XIE.
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XIE XIE NI. XIE XIE NI.
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XIE XIE NI.
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XIE XIE NI.
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HI.
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>> NI HAO.
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>> NI HAO. NI HAO.
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>> NI HAO.
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00:13:29,187 --> 00:13:30,533
>> PLEASE COME IN.
254
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>> PLEASE COME IN.
SUIT? O.K.
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00:13:32,432 --> 00:13:36,022
SUIT? O.K.
256
00:13:40,336 --> 00:13:41,268
I'M LOOKING
257
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FOR SOMETHING VERY SPECIAL
258
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FOR MY MEETING.
259
00:13:44,202 --> 00:13:46,204
FOR MY MEETING.
I WANT TO LOOK VERY DAPPER.
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I WANT TO LOOK VERY DAPPER.
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00:14:21,584 --> 00:14:23,276
HEY, JAMES CHOI.
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THIS IS JOHNSON SPEAKING AGAIN.
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00:14:24,933 --> 00:14:27,867
UM, I'M TRYING TO FIND THE Y.Y.
264
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:31,215
BAR ON NAN JING ROAD.
265
00:14:31,215 --> 00:14:32,078
EXCUSE ME.
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00:14:32,078 --> 00:14:34,804
DO YOU KNOW WHERE THIS IS?
267
00:14:34,804 --> 00:14:36,289
I THINK I'M LOST RIGHT NOW.
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00:14:36,289 --> 00:14:39,775
I'M IN SOME SORT OF...
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00:14:39,775 --> 00:14:41,121
OLD AREA.
270
00:14:41,121 --> 00:14:42,674
Y.Y. BAR?
271
00:14:42,674 --> 00:14:43,883
Y.Y. BAR.
272
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:45,401
>> Y.Y....
273
00:14:45,401 --> 00:14:46,816
NO, I THINK IT'S THAT WAY.
274
00:14:46,816 --> 00:14:48,266
>> NO, NO, NO, NO.
275
00:14:53,616 --> 00:14:55,446
>> XIE XIE!
276
00:14:55,446 --> 00:15:07,216
>> XIE XIE!
277
00:15:07,216 --> 00:15:09,770
>> XIE XIE!
278
00:15:29,273 --> 00:15:31,654
EXCUSE ME.
279
00:15:31,654 --> 00:15:33,484
>>
280
00:15:33,484 --> 00:15:34,864
>> ARE YOU JAMES CHOI?
281
00:15:34,864 --> 00:15:36,211
>>
282
00:15:36,211 --> 00:15:40,284
>> NO. IS YOUR NAME JAMES CHOI?
283
00:15:40,284 --> 00:15:42,389
>>
284
00:15:42,389 --> 00:15:44,357
>> YOU'RE NOT JAMES CHOI?
285
00:15:44,357 --> 00:15:46,186
>> YOU'RE NOT JAMES CHOI?
>>
286
00:15:46,186 --> 00:16:02,996
>>
287
00:16:07,414 --> 00:16:08,519
THANKS FOR
288
00:16:08,519 --> 00:16:10,417
COMING OUT.
289
00:16:10,417 --> 00:16:12,281
COMING OUT.
THANKS FOR COMING OUT.
290
00:16:12,281 --> 00:16:23,361
THANKS FOR COMING OUT.
291
00:16:23,361 --> 00:16:26,399
DONATIONS.
292
00:16:26,399 --> 00:16:28,090
I'M KIDDING.
293
00:16:28,090 --> 00:16:29,436
WHAT I REALLY WANT YOU GUYS
294
00:16:29,436 --> 00:16:31,645
TO DO IS INVEST.
295
00:16:31,645 --> 00:16:33,993
TO DO IS INVEST.
296
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:41,069
AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
297
00:16:41,069 --> 00:16:42,794
RESIDENTS OF WOODVILLE, IF YOU
298
00:16:42,794 --> 00:16:46,419
INVEST IN MY IDEA, IF YOU INVEST
299
00:16:46,419 --> 00:16:48,766
IN JOHNSON NOVELTIES, NOT ONLY
300
00:16:48,766 --> 00:16:50,492
WILL YOU BE INVESTING IN YOUR
301
00:16:50,492 --> 00:16:55,635
FUTURE...
302
00:16:55,635 --> 00:16:59,018
JOIN THE RANKS...
303
00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:03,608
OF GREAT... INVENTORS.
304
00:17:03,608 --> 00:17:05,300
OF GREAT... INVENTORS.
NOVELTY INVENTORS.
305
00:17:05,300 --> 00:17:12,721
NOVELTY INVENTORS.
306
00:17:12,721 --> 00:17:14,757
O.K., GUYS, MY SPEECH IS GONNA
307
00:17:14,757 --> 00:17:16,483
GO JU... WELL, MY SPEECH IS
308
00:17:16,483 --> 00:17:20,246
GONNA GO JUST LIKE THIS.
309
00:17:20,246 --> 00:17:21,867
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR GIVING
310
00:17:21,867 --> 00:17:24,077
UP YOUR SATURDAY AFTERNOON TO
311
00:17:24,077 --> 00:17:25,768
COME AND HEAR ABOUT MY EXCITING
312
00:17:25,768 --> 00:17:30,670
NEW INVESTMENT OPPORTUNITY.
313
00:17:30,670 --> 00:17:33,397
INVENTION.
314
00:17:33,397 --> 00:17:34,674
WELL, YOU'RE SURROUNDED BY IT
315
00:17:34,674 --> 00:17:36,469
EVERY DAY.
316
00:17:36,469 --> 00:17:37,677
AND I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT
317
00:17:37,677 --> 00:17:40,611
THE BIG IDEAS LIKE CARS
318
00:17:40,611 --> 00:17:42,820
OR SPACESHIPS.
319
00:17:42,820 --> 00:17:43,855
I'M JUST TALKING ABOUT
320
00:17:43,855 --> 00:17:46,824
EVERYDAY STUFF, STUFF SOME
321
00:17:46,824 --> 00:17:49,068
GUY OR GAL CREATED THAT STRUCK
322
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:51,346
A CHORD WITH PEOPLE.
323
00:17:51,346 --> 00:17:53,072
LIKE POST-IT NOTES AND WHOOPEE
324
00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:55,902
CUSHIONS AND... THOSE TINY
325
00:17:55,902 --> 00:17:57,283
UMBRELLAS THAT GO IN FRUIT
326
00:17:57,283 --> 00:18:00,389
COCKTAIL DRINKS, SEA-MONKEYS,
327
00:18:00,389 --> 00:18:02,081
PORTA-POTTIES.
328
00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:03,151
CAN I TAKE THIS
329
00:18:03,151 --> 00:18:04,083
MASK OFF?
330
00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:08,846
IT SMELLS.
331
00:18:08,846 --> 00:18:11,055
>> NO, YOU MAY NOT.
332
00:18:11,055 --> 00:18:13,333
I'VE RENTED YOU FOR THE HOUR,
333
00:18:13,333 --> 00:18:15,611
AND IT'S ONLY BEEN ABOUT...
334
00:18:15,611 --> 00:18:18,821
ONE MINUTE AND 45 SECONDS.
335
00:18:18,821 --> 00:18:21,376
ONE MINUTE AND 45 SECONDS.
336
00:18:57,860 --> 00:19:00,104
SIMON, YEAH.
337
00:19:00,104 --> 00:19:01,278
LISTEN, CAN YOU GET ONE OF
338
00:19:01,278 --> 00:19:02,486
THE TEAM TO HEAD OVER TO
339
00:19:02,486 --> 00:19:03,107
HENRY ZANG'S?
340
00:19:03,107 --> 00:19:04,488
YEAH, I DON'T WANT TO GO INTO
341
00:19:04,488 --> 00:19:05,316
MANUFACTURE BEFORE WE GET
342
00:19:05,316 --> 00:19:06,179
COMPLETE SIGN-OFF FROM
343
00:19:06,179 --> 00:19:07,491
THE CLIENT, ALL RIGHT?
344
00:19:07,491 --> 00:19:09,562
NO, THAT'S EXCELLENT.
345
00:19:09,562 --> 00:19:10,770
AND, UH, I THINK THEY GOT
346
00:19:10,770 --> 00:19:11,667
THE FIRST WIRE TRANSFER,
347
00:19:11,667 --> 00:19:14,222
DIDN'T THEY?
348
00:19:14,222 --> 00:19:15,464
ALL RIGHT, I'M COMING BACK FROM
349
00:19:15,464 --> 00:19:16,879
THE OFFICE NOW, I'LL SEE YOU IN
350
00:19:16,879 --> 00:19:18,847
15 MINUTES, BYE.
351
00:19:18,847 --> 00:19:20,780
>> UM, EXCUSE ME, SIR?
352
00:19:20,780 --> 00:19:22,402
LOOK, I'M HAVING TROUBLE DIALING
353
00:19:22,402 --> 00:19:23,783
THIS NUMBER HERE.
354
00:19:23,783 --> 00:19:25,681
EVERY TIME I DIAL IT, IT'S BUSY.
355
00:19:25,681 --> 00:19:27,096
DO YOU MIND USING ONE OF YOUR
356
00:19:27,096 --> 00:19:29,133
CELL PHONES, PLEASE?
357
00:19:29,133 --> 00:19:31,342
OW-- SORRY...
358
00:19:31,342 --> 00:19:32,792
DO YOU MIND TRY USING ONE OF
359
00:19:32,792 --> 00:19:33,965
YOUR PHONES?
360
00:19:33,965 --> 00:19:36,036
>> O.K., LET'S HAVE A LOOK THEN.
361
00:19:36,036 --> 00:19:38,280
WHAT YOU GOT?
362
00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:42,664
2-1-2-3.
363
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:47,082
IT'S RINGING.
364
00:19:47,082 --> 00:19:48,187
IT'S AN ANSWERING MACHINE.
365
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:51,776
HERE YOU GO.
366
00:19:51,776 --> 00:19:54,434
>> JAMES CHOI, JAMES CHOI.
367
00:19:54,434 --> 00:19:55,918
LOOK, THIS ISN'T RIGHT.
368
00:19:55,918 --> 00:19:57,506
THIS IS NOT RIGHT.
369
00:19:57,506 --> 00:19:58,887
THIS IS SERIOUSLY EFFED UP.
370
00:19:58,887 --> 00:20:00,095
YOU SURE AS HECK WEREN'T LATE
371
00:20:00,095 --> 00:20:01,200
CASHING THAT $800 CHECK,
372
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:02,856
AND BY THE WAY, HALF OF THAT WAS
373
00:20:02,856 --> 00:20:05,514
SUPPOSED TO BE FOR SECURING MY
374
00:20:05,514 --> 00:20:06,584
LODGING.
375
00:20:06,584 --> 00:20:08,379
GUESS WHAT, I GOT TO THE HOTEL,
376
00:20:08,379 --> 00:20:10,001
NO PREPAID RESERVATION OR
377
00:20:10,001 --> 00:20:11,175
NOTHING.
378
00:20:11,175 --> 00:20:12,452
IT'S BEEN ONE CALAMITY AFTER
379
00:20:12,452 --> 00:20:13,177
ANOTHER WITH YOU.
380
00:20:13,177 --> 00:20:14,834
NOW YOU SERIOUSLY CALL ME BACK
381
00:20:14,834 --> 00:20:16,491
OR I'M FORCED TO FLAG YOUR AD
382
00:20:16,491 --> 00:20:18,355
ON CRAIGSLIST.
383
00:20:18,355 --> 00:20:21,081
I'M SERIOUS.
384
00:20:21,081 --> 00:20:24,775
OH, THANKS.
385
00:20:24,775 --> 00:20:26,846
>> YOU WANT ADVICE?
386
00:20:26,846 --> 00:20:28,399
I'D SAY FORGET IT.
387
00:20:28,399 --> 00:20:29,435
I MEAN, HE GOT WHAT?
388
00:20:29,435 --> 00:20:31,230
800 FROM YOU?
389
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:33,335
I'VE HEARD OF A LOT WORSE.
390
00:20:33,335 --> 00:20:34,612
>> THAT'S UNACCEPTABLE.
391
00:20:34,612 --> 00:20:37,201
I'M HERE ON BUSINESS.
392
00:20:37,201 --> 00:20:38,237
O.K., THEN.
393
00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:40,031
>> MAYBE YOU CAN HELP ME, SIR.
394
00:20:40,031 --> 00:20:41,447
LOOK, I CAN TELL YOU'RE A VERY
395
00:20:41,447 --> 00:20:42,689
CAPABLE MAN.
396
00:20:42,689 --> 00:20:44,173
UM, YOU MUST KNOW HOW TO DEAL
397
00:20:44,173 --> 00:20:45,554
WITH TEXTILE MANUFACTURERS.
398
00:20:45,554 --> 00:20:46,762
>> LISTEN, EVEN IF I WANTED TO
399
00:20:46,762 --> 00:20:47,970
HELP YOU, I HAVE A VERY
400
00:20:47,970 --> 00:20:48,799
CHALLENGING WORK SCHEDULE AT
401
00:20:48,799 --> 00:20:49,351
PRESENT.
402
00:20:49,351 --> 00:20:50,559
>> I WON'T WASTE ANY OF YOUR
403
00:20:50,559 --> 00:20:51,767
TIME; WILL YOU PLEASE SIT DOWN
404
00:20:51,767 --> 00:20:52,596
FOR FIVE SECONDS, PLEASE?
405
00:20:52,596 --> 00:20:54,563
PLEASE?
406
00:20:54,563 --> 00:20:55,771
>> ALL RIGHT, BUT I AM IN
407
00:20:55,771 --> 00:20:56,358
A HURRY.
408
00:20:56,358 --> 00:21:00,638
>> O.K.
409
00:21:00,638 --> 00:21:02,778
JUST HEAR ME OUT, O.K.?
410
00:21:02,778 --> 00:21:04,193
I WAS SUPPOSED TO GIVE THIS GUY
411
00:21:04,193 --> 00:21:06,265
MR. JAMES CHOI A THOUSAND,
412
00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:07,921
TODAY.
413
00:21:07,921 --> 00:21:08,784
I'LL GIVE YOU...
414
00:21:11,131 --> 00:21:15,791
AN ADDITIONAL...
415
00:21:15,791 --> 00:21:18,760
500 IF YOU HELP ME.
416
00:21:18,760 --> 00:21:21,418
PLEASE.
417
00:21:21,418 --> 00:21:23,178
I NEED YOUR HELP.
418
00:21:23,178 --> 00:21:26,250
I'M ONLY HERE FOR SIX DAYS.
419
00:21:26,250 --> 00:21:30,254
I'M ONLY HERE FOR SIX DAYS.
>> WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO?
420
00:21:30,254 --> 00:21:36,778
>> WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO?
421
00:21:36,778 --> 00:21:38,849
>> I'M A NOVELTY INVENTOR.
422
00:21:40,747 --> 00:21:42,128
>> A NOVELTY INVENTOR.
423
00:21:42,128 --> 00:21:43,612
>> YES, SIR, AND NOVELTIES ARE
424
00:21:43,612 --> 00:21:45,545
THE BENCHMARK OF A FREE SOCIETY.
425
00:21:45,545 --> 00:21:46,753
>> THE BENCHMARK?
426
00:21:46,753 --> 00:21:48,445
>> YES, AND I HAVE A GREAT IDEA.
427
00:21:48,445 --> 00:21:50,550
IT IS BOTH NOVEL AND NEEDFUL.
428
00:21:50,550 --> 00:21:53,933
>> WHAT IS IT?
429
00:21:53,933 --> 00:21:56,798
>> WELL, I CAN'T EXACTLY TELL
430
00:21:56,798 --> 00:21:58,351
YOU... WHAT I CAN TELL YOU IS
431
00:21:58,351 --> 00:22:00,940
THIS-- IT'S PRIMARILY A TEXTILE
432
00:22:00,940 --> 00:22:02,528
PRODUCT AIMED AT THE ENTIRE
433
00:22:02,528 --> 00:22:04,150
ENGLISH-SPEAKING MARKETPLACE,
434
00:22:04,150 --> 00:22:06,635
BUT ITS FUTURE UNIVERSAL APPEAL
435
00:22:06,635 --> 00:22:09,397
IS VIRTUALLY GUARANTEED.
436
00:22:09,397 --> 00:22:10,708
>> WELL, I'M AS IMPRESSED AS
437
00:22:10,708 --> 00:22:12,192
A MAN LEFT TOTALLY IN THE DARK
438
00:22:12,192 --> 00:22:13,021
CAN BE.
439
00:22:13,021 --> 00:22:15,955
>> REALLY?
440
00:22:15,955 --> 00:22:17,543
>> COME ON, THEN.
441
00:22:17,543 --> 00:22:18,544
I'VE GOT A NEW CLIENT,
442
00:22:18,544 --> 00:22:20,442
A NOVELTY INVENTOR.
443
00:22:20,442 --> 00:22:21,650
HAVE YOU GOT A BUSINESS CARD?
444
00:22:21,650 --> 00:22:22,410
>> I SURE DO.
445
00:22:22,410 --> 00:22:23,134
>> THAT'S GOOD.
446
00:22:23,134 --> 00:22:24,343
THE CHINESE DO LOVE TO EXCHANGE
447
00:22:24,343 --> 00:22:25,240
BUSINESS CARDS.
448
00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:26,621
>> YOU KNOW I READ THAT IN MY
449
00:22:26,621 --> 00:22:28,864
GUIDEBOOK?
450
00:22:28,864 --> 00:22:29,900
>> NOT LIKE THAT.
451
00:22:29,900 --> 00:22:30,901
WITH BOTH THUMBS.
452
00:22:30,901 --> 00:22:32,109
THAT'S THE POLITE WAY OF DOING
453
00:22:32,109 --> 00:22:32,730
IT IN CHINA.
454
00:22:32,730 --> 00:22:33,352
>> I'M JOHNSON.
455
00:22:33,352 --> 00:22:34,870
>> JOHNSON, O.K.
456
00:22:34,870 --> 00:22:36,665
WHERE ARE YOU STAYING, JOHNSON?
457
00:22:36,665 --> 00:22:37,873
>> MOTEL 1-2-3.
458
00:22:37,873 --> 00:22:40,842
>> OOH, THAT'S A RUBBISH HOTEL.
459
00:22:40,842 --> 00:22:42,568
I TELL YOU WHAT...
460
00:22:44,984 --> 00:22:48,677
>>
461
00:22:48,677 --> 00:22:50,161
I'VE GOT A CLIENT APARTMENT.
462
00:22:50,161 --> 00:22:53,786
IT'S AVAILABLE TILL FRIDAY.
463
00:22:53,786 --> 00:22:58,653
NOW, TAKE THE ADDRESS...
464
00:22:58,653 --> 00:22:59,861
SHOW THAT TO THE CAB DRIVERS,
465
00:22:59,861 --> 00:23:01,069
AND MY NUMBER'S ON THE BOTTOM
466
00:23:01,069 --> 00:23:02,588
IF YOU GET LOST.
467
00:23:02,588 --> 00:23:04,106
DO YOU HAVE ANY, UH, PROPER
468
00:23:04,106 --> 00:23:05,798
BUSINESS ATTIRE?
469
00:23:05,798 --> 00:23:06,799
>> ABSOLUTELY.
470
00:23:06,799 --> 00:23:09,077
>> GOOD.
471
00:23:09,077 --> 00:23:10,699
I'LL PICK YOU UP THERE AT 7:30
472
00:23:10,699 --> 00:23:11,976
IN THE MORNING, WE CAN DISCUSS
473
00:23:11,976 --> 00:23:12,701
YOUR MANUFACTURING REQUIREMENTS
474
00:23:12,701 --> 00:23:14,013
THEN.
475
00:23:14,013 --> 00:23:15,014
>> O.K.
476
00:23:15,014 --> 00:23:16,395
>> O.K., THEN.
477
00:23:16,395 --> 00:23:17,568
I'M MAGNUS.
478
00:23:17,568 --> 00:23:21,434
I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.
479
00:23:21,434 --> 00:23:23,609
I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.
>>
480
00:23:23,609 --> 00:24:06,514
>>
481
00:24:06,514 --> 00:24:11,415
>>
482
00:24:31,780 --> 00:24:34,473
NOW THIS REALLY BLOWS MY MIND.
483
00:24:34,473 --> 00:24:36,198
I'M NOT JOKING YOU.
484
00:24:36,198 --> 00:24:38,131
AT A FOURTH OF JULY PICNIC IN
485
00:24:38,131 --> 00:24:41,928
1956, YOUNG VETERAN MILTON
486
00:24:41,928 --> 00:24:43,930
LEVENE-- OR LEVINE-- HE BECAME
487
00:24:43,930 --> 00:24:46,795
MESMERIZED BY A SCURRYING PILE
488
00:24:46,795 --> 00:24:48,314
OF ANTS.
489
00:24:48,314 --> 00:24:50,489
MILTON HAD THE HUNCH, AND SOON
490
00:24:50,489 --> 00:24:52,698
AFTER, UNCLE MILTON'S ANT FARM
491
00:24:52,698 --> 00:24:54,182
WAS BORN.
492
00:24:54,182 --> 00:24:56,564
TO DATE, THEY HAVE SOLD OVER
493
00:24:56,564 --> 00:24:59,187
25 MILLION ANT FARMS AND
494
00:24:59,187 --> 00:25:03,674
SHIPPEDONE BILLION A NTS.
495
00:25:03,674 --> 00:25:04,675
AND MILTON IS QUOTED AS
496
00:25:04,675 --> 00:25:07,160
SAYING-- I LOVE THIS QUOTE--
497
00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:09,024
"PERSISTENCE IS THE SECRET TO
498
00:25:09,024 --> 00:25:11,820
SUCCESS, AND PROCRASTINATION IS
499
00:25:11,820 --> 00:25:13,546
THE SECRET TO FAILURE."
500
00:25:13,546 --> 00:25:17,619
ALSO, HE SAID, "I LOVE ANTS.
501
00:25:17,619 --> 00:25:19,828
THEY PUT MY KIDS THROUGH
502
00:25:19,828 --> 00:25:22,590
COLLEGE."
503
00:25:25,420 --> 00:25:28,009
INVENTION IS EVERYWHERE.
504
00:25:28,009 --> 00:25:29,907
THE RUBBER SOLES ON THAT
505
00:25:29,907 --> 00:25:31,012
WOMAN'S FOOT IS FROM AN
506
00:25:31,012 --> 00:25:32,392
INVENTOR.
507
00:25:32,392 --> 00:25:34,463
THE CONCRETE, THE CHAIN LINK
508
00:25:34,463 --> 00:25:37,018
FENCE, IT'S ALL FROM INVENTORS.
509
00:25:37,018 --> 00:25:38,951
WE'RE EVERYWHERE.
510
00:25:38,951 --> 00:25:40,608
IT'S HUMAN NATURE TO INVENT,
511
00:25:40,608 --> 00:25:41,850
TO CREATE, TO TINKER,
512
00:25:41,850 --> 00:25:43,818
TO DIVERSIFY, TO EVEN AMUSE.
513
00:25:43,818 --> 00:25:45,095
THE URGE TO CREATE THINGS IS
514
00:25:45,095 --> 00:25:46,337
FAR GREATER THAN THE URGE TO
515
00:25:46,337 --> 00:25:49,962
DESTROY THEM.
516
00:25:49,962 --> 00:25:50,997
AND A GREAT INVENTION WILL
517
00:25:50,997 --> 00:25:51,998
OUTLIVE ITS INVENTOR BY
518
00:25:51,998 --> 00:25:54,345
A THOUSAND TIMES.
519
00:26:02,388 --> 00:26:04,252
GOOD MORNING, GUYS.
520
00:26:04,252 --> 00:26:05,356
WOW, THIS IS NICE.
521
00:26:05,356 --> 00:26:07,048
MORNING, FU MANCHU.
522
00:26:07,048 --> 00:26:09,050
>>
523
00:26:09,050 --> 00:26:10,879
>>
524
00:26:10,879 --> 00:26:12,571
I CAN SEE I'M GONNA HAVE TO SET
525
00:26:12,571 --> 00:26:13,882
MY TAILOR ON YOU, JOHNSON.
526
00:26:13,882 --> 00:26:15,297
SO, TELL ME AGAIN WHAT IS IT
527
00:26:15,297 --> 00:26:16,229
WE'RE MAKING.
528
00:26:16,229 --> 00:26:17,541
>> WELL, IT'S BASICALLY A
529
00:26:17,541 --> 00:26:18,404
HUMOROUS DOMESTIC...
530
00:26:18,404 --> 00:26:20,544
>> HYGIENE PRODUCT, I REMEMBER.
531
00:26:20,544 --> 00:26:21,718
WHAT KIND OF QUANTITIES ARE WE
532
00:26:21,718 --> 00:26:22,926
TALKING ABOUT, IN UNITS OF...
533
00:26:22,926 --> 00:26:24,513
10,000?
534
00:26:24,513 --> 00:26:25,342
>> OH, SLIGHTLY LESS THAN
535
00:26:25,342 --> 00:26:27,171
ONE UNIT.
536
00:26:27,171 --> 00:26:28,034
>> YOU'RE A HIGH ROLLER,
537
00:26:28,034 --> 00:26:30,865
JOHNSON...
538
00:26:30,865 --> 00:26:32,073
...SO, THOMAS HAS AGREED TO TAKE
539
00:26:32,073 --> 00:26:33,937
THE MEETING, THAT'S GOOD.
540
00:26:33,937 --> 00:26:35,352
NO, HE WON'T TELL ME WHAT THE
541
00:26:35,352 --> 00:26:36,353
ACTUAL PRODUCT IS, BUT IT'S
542
00:26:36,353 --> 00:26:37,147
A TEXTILE PRODUCT.
543
00:26:37,147 --> 00:26:40,184
I'M SURE IT'LL BE FINE.
544
00:26:40,184 --> 00:26:43,084
IT'S A SMALL BATCH, REALLY.
545
00:26:43,084 --> 00:26:44,637
BIT OF A FAVOR.
546
00:26:44,637 --> 00:26:46,328
ALL RIGHT, I'LL TELL HIM.
547
00:26:46,328 --> 00:26:49,159
THANKS, WENDY, BYE-BYE.
548
00:26:49,159 --> 00:26:50,609
WELL, THAT'S GOOD NEWS, JOHNSON.
549
00:26:50,609 --> 00:26:51,782
I JUST GOT YOU A MEETING
550
00:26:51,782 --> 00:26:53,025
TOMORROW AT 10:30.
551
00:26:53,025 --> 00:26:55,061
>> THAT'S GREAT.
552
00:26:55,061 --> 00:26:56,131
>> EVERYTHING'S EASIER WHEN YOU
553
00:26:56,131 --> 00:26:57,685
KNOW THE RIGHT PEOPLE.
554
00:26:57,685 --> 00:27:00,204
LET'S HAVE A TOAST, COME ON.
555
00:27:00,204 --> 00:27:01,861
TOAST, YEAH.
556
00:27:01,861 --> 00:27:02,621
TO JOHNSON.
557
00:27:02,621 --> 00:27:04,036
TO JOHNSON.
558
00:27:04,036 --> 00:27:05,209
JOHNSON, YAY!
559
00:27:05,209 --> 00:27:06,866
CHEERS, JOHNSON.
560
00:27:06,866 --> 00:27:11,422
MM, AHH, VODKA ZINGERS.
561
00:27:11,422 --> 00:27:13,424
SMASHING.
562
00:27:18,637 --> 00:27:20,673
>>
563
00:27:20,673 --> 00:27:23,055
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
564
00:27:26,783 --> 00:27:27,818
REALLY?
565
00:27:27,818 --> 00:27:28,647
YOU SHOULD'VE BEEN
566
00:27:28,647 --> 00:27:29,958
HERE 15 YEARS AGO, JOHNSON.
567
00:27:29,958 --> 00:27:30,856
WHEN THE WHOLE ECONOMIC
568
00:27:30,856 --> 00:27:33,065
EXPANSION WAS BEGINNING,
569
00:27:33,065 --> 00:27:34,273
BLOKE LIKE ME WHO COULD SPEAK
570
00:27:34,273 --> 00:27:38,070
THE LANGUAGE, I WAS IN DEMAND.
571
00:27:38,070 --> 00:27:39,485
I TELL YOU WHAT, THEN, LOOK AT
572
00:27:39,485 --> 00:27:40,831
THIS.
573
00:27:40,831 --> 00:27:42,661
STUCK ON ME WRIST.
574
00:27:42,661 --> 00:27:44,766
NOW, THIS WATCH.
575
00:27:44,766 --> 00:27:46,595
THIS WATCH, JOHNSON.
576
00:27:46,595 --> 00:27:50,047
THIS WAS MY REWARD TO MYSELF
577
00:27:50,047 --> 00:27:51,946
FOR MY FIRST FINANCIAL DEAL
578
00:27:51,946 --> 00:27:53,223
WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE.
579
00:27:53,223 --> 00:27:55,432
LOOK AT IT.
580
00:27:55,432 --> 00:27:57,054
FEEL THE WEIGHT.
581
00:27:57,054 --> 00:27:59,401
LOOK AT THE QUALITY.
582
00:27:59,401 --> 00:28:02,163
>> THIS IS VERY, VERY NICE.
583
00:28:02,163 --> 00:28:03,026
YEAH.
584
00:28:03,026 --> 00:28:03,647
MM...
585
00:28:03,647 --> 00:28:05,649
MM...
586
00:28:05,649 --> 00:28:06,719
YES...
587
00:28:06,719 --> 00:28:07,720
VERY NICE.
588
00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:08,514
>> VERY NICE.
589
00:28:11,620 --> 00:28:12,691
YOU DON'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
590
00:28:12,691 --> 00:28:13,622
BETWEEN REAL AND FAKE,
591
00:28:13,622 --> 00:28:14,796
IT'S 'CAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT
592
00:28:14,796 --> 00:28:17,143
YOU'RE LOOKING FOR.
593
00:28:17,143 --> 00:28:18,351
YOU KNOW A REAL WATCH TELEGRAPHS
594
00:28:18,351 --> 00:28:19,974
ITS AUTHENTICITY FROM A MILE
595
00:28:19,974 --> 00:28:23,909
OFF.
596
00:28:23,909 --> 00:28:25,117
IT'S LIKE ITS OWNER, IT'S THE
597
00:28:25,117 --> 00:28:27,291
REAL DEAL, IT'S THE REAL DEAL.
598
00:28:28,361 --> 00:28:29,535
NO.
599
00:28:29,535 --> 00:28:31,088
>> HE'S THE REAL DEAL.
600
00:28:31,088 --> 00:28:32,089
WHAT TIME IS IT?
601
00:28:32,089 --> 00:28:32,711
>> YEAH?
602
00:28:32,711 --> 00:28:34,816
>> YEAH.
603
00:28:34,816 --> 00:28:35,679
THE REAL DEAL.
604
00:28:35,679 --> 00:28:37,923
>>
605
00:28:37,923 --> 00:28:41,789
>>
606
00:28:44,274 --> 00:28:45,206
>> DAVID.
607
00:28:45,206 --> 00:28:46,414
>> HEY, GREAT TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
608
00:28:46,414 --> 00:28:47,622
>> GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
609
00:28:47,622 --> 00:28:50,004
>> GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
>> COME ON IN.
610
00:28:50,004 --> 00:28:52,869
>> COME ON IN.
611
00:28:52,869 --> 00:29:00,428
>>
612
00:29:00,428 --> 00:29:05,916
♪ YA-OOH...
613
00:29:05,916 --> 00:29:06,710
>> YOU KNOW WHAT?
614
00:29:06,710 --> 00:29:07,987
I'LL TAKE CARE OF THIS TODAY.
615
00:29:07,987 --> 00:29:12,992
>>
616
00:29:12,992 --> 00:29:17,928
♪ YA-OOH...
617
00:29:20,966 --> 00:29:25,625
♪ OOH... OH.
618
00:29:25,625 --> 00:29:31,770
♪ OOH... OH.
619
00:29:37,465 --> 00:29:39,778
>>
620
00:29:39,778 --> 00:29:58,520
>>
621
00:30:09,566 --> 00:30:11,223
>> CAN'T HANDLE YOUR DRINK?
622
00:30:11,223 --> 00:30:12,741
WELL, OUR DISCREET TIE SICK-BAG
623
00:30:12,741 --> 00:30:14,260
IS PERFECT FOR THE BUSINESSMAN
624
00:30:14,260 --> 00:30:15,365
CAUGHT SHORT ON AN UNPLANNED
625
00:30:15,365 --> 00:30:16,297
DRINKING SESSION.
626
00:30:18,333 --> 00:30:19,818
YOU KNOW THE SCENARIO.
627
00:30:19,818 --> 00:30:21,543
ONE QUICK AFTER-WORK THAT
628
00:30:21,543 --> 00:30:23,373
ENDS IN ALL-NIGHT GRUESOME BINGE
629
00:30:23,373 --> 00:30:24,753
DRINKING.
630
00:30:24,753 --> 00:30:26,341
IT'S 3 a.m., YOU'VE lost your
631
00:30:26,341 --> 00:30:28,171
keys, your wallet, your cell
632
00:30:28,171 --> 00:30:29,724
phone, and now you're losing
633
00:30:29,724 --> 00:30:30,552
your lunch.
634
00:30:30,552 --> 00:30:32,002
Toss your cookies into this
635
00:30:32,002 --> 00:30:34,211
paper bag built into your snazzy
636
00:30:34,211 --> 00:30:35,109
tie.
637
00:30:35,109 --> 00:30:36,144
Instantly deployable,
638
00:30:36,144 --> 00:30:38,250
fully waterproof, easy to
639
00:30:38,250 --> 00:30:40,217
replace and remove.
640
00:30:40,217 --> 00:30:41,425
Never hurl into your friend's
641
00:30:41,425 --> 00:30:42,219
face again.
642
00:30:42,219 --> 00:30:44,187
IT'S perfect for taxi rides,
643
00:30:44,187 --> 00:30:45,774
overcrowded restaurant booths
644
00:30:45,774 --> 00:30:47,707
and even elevators.
645
00:30:47,707 --> 00:30:50,055
And if you buy now, IT'S only
646
00:30:50,055 --> 00:30:51,919
available at Johnson Novelties.
647
00:30:51,919 --> 00:30:54,335
Prices start at $9.97.
648
00:30:54,956 --> 00:30:55,819
COME ON, JOHNSON,
649
00:30:55,819 --> 00:30:57,303
WE'VE GOTTA GO.
650
00:30:57,303 --> 00:31:00,410
I WANNA SEE FLAMES.
651
00:31:00,410 --> 00:31:01,756
GO ON, PUFF.
652
00:31:01,756 --> 00:31:04,276
PUFF.
653
00:31:04,276 --> 00:31:08,038
THAT'S GOT IT.
654
00:31:08,038 --> 00:31:09,384
'ATTA BOY.
655
00:31:09,384 --> 00:31:10,144
>>
656
00:31:10,144 --> 00:31:11,317
>> DON'T INHALE.
657
00:31:11,317 --> 00:31:12,767
>> JUST PUFF, O.K.
658
00:31:12,767 --> 00:31:14,907
>> JUST PUFF.
659
00:31:14,907 --> 00:31:16,322
>> I THINK I GOT IT.
660
00:31:16,322 --> 00:31:18,324
>> I THINK YOU DID.
661
00:31:18,324 --> 00:31:20,879
>>
662
00:31:20,879 --> 00:31:23,295
>> THAT'S IT.
663
00:31:23,295 --> 00:31:27,230
>> LOOK.
664
00:31:27,230 --> 00:31:29,301
GARY DAHL TOOK A SIMPLE ROCK
665
00:31:29,301 --> 00:31:31,613
LIKE THIS AND TURNED IT INTO
666
00:31:31,613 --> 00:31:34,858
A MILLION-DOLLAR NOVELTY ITEM.
667
00:31:34,858 --> 00:31:36,032
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS,
668
00:31:36,032 --> 00:31:37,412
MAGNUS?
669
00:31:37,412 --> 00:31:39,173
>> NO.
670
00:31:39,173 --> 00:31:40,760
>> THAT MEANS THERE COULD BE
671
00:31:40,760 --> 00:31:42,245
A MILLION DOLLARS UNDER OUR NOSE
672
00:31:42,245 --> 00:31:45,075
RIGHT NOW.
673
00:31:45,075 --> 00:31:46,490
>> I THINK I'D KNOW IF THERE WAS
674
00:31:46,490 --> 00:31:47,767
A MILLION DOLLARS UNDER MY NOSE
675
00:31:47,767 --> 00:31:48,768
RIGHT NOW.
676
00:31:48,768 --> 00:31:52,151
>> ONE MILLION DOLLARS.
677
00:31:54,636 --> 00:31:56,293
>> COME ON.
678
00:31:56,293 --> 00:31:57,916
COME WITH ME.
679
00:31:59,641 --> 00:32:01,885
IN 1975, GARY DAHL
680
00:32:01,885 --> 00:32:03,507
ESTABLISHED ROCK BOTTOM
681
00:32:03,507 --> 00:32:04,888
PRODUCTIONS.
682
00:32:04,888 --> 00:32:06,303
WHAT HE DID WAS TAKE AN
683
00:32:06,303 --> 00:32:07,753
ORDINARY ROCK AND SELL IT AS
684
00:32:07,753 --> 00:32:11,964
A LIVE PET FOR $3.95 EACH.
685
00:32:14,242 --> 00:32:15,899
THE ROCK WAS NESTLED IN A SMALL
686
00:32:15,899 --> 00:32:18,074
CARDBOARD BOX AND INCLUDED A
687
00:32:18,074 --> 00:32:20,007
PET ROCK TRAINING MANUAL, WHICH
688
00:32:20,007 --> 00:32:21,801
INCLUDED CERTAIN TRICKS YOU
689
00:32:21,801 --> 00:32:24,735
COULD TEACH THE NEW PET LIKE...
690
00:32:24,735 --> 00:32:27,117
SIT, STAY, ROLL OVER,
691
00:32:27,117 --> 00:32:28,705
PLAY DEAD.
692
00:32:28,705 --> 00:32:30,707
WELL, THE FAD ONLY LASTED ABOUT
693
00:32:30,707 --> 00:32:33,020
SIX MONTHS OR SO, ENDING WITH
694
00:32:33,020 --> 00:32:34,918
THE CHRISTMAS SEASON IN 1975,
695
00:32:34,918 --> 00:32:38,232
BUT WHO CARES-- IN 1975, THAT
696
00:32:38,232 --> 00:32:40,096
LITTLE ITTY-BITTY TINY ROCK
697
00:32:40,096 --> 00:32:41,718
MADE GARY DAHL OVER
698
00:32:41,718 --> 00:32:42,926
$15 MILLION.
699
00:32:52,936 --> 00:32:54,006
COMING.
700
00:32:56,526 --> 00:32:57,182
MORNING, JOHNSON.
701
00:32:57,182 --> 00:32:59,391
>> MORNING, MR. SAM.
702
00:32:59,391 --> 00:33:03,567
>> HERE'S YOUR BILL.
703
00:33:03,567 --> 00:33:05,086
>> WHOA.
704
00:33:05,086 --> 00:33:06,087
I THOUGHT THINGS WERE CHEAPER
705
00:33:06,087 --> 00:33:07,986
HERE IN SHANGHAI, CHINA.
706
00:33:07,986 --> 00:33:10,160
>> ONE SUIT PLUS ONE SUIT.
707
00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:12,991
VERY GOOD PRICE.
708
00:33:12,991 --> 00:33:15,303
>> BUT I ONLY ORDERED ONE SUIT.
709
00:33:15,303 --> 00:33:16,339
>> HERE.
710
00:33:16,339 --> 00:33:17,581
YOUR FRIEND'S SUIT.
711
00:33:17,581 --> 00:33:19,894
HE CHOSE 100% CASHMERE
712
00:33:19,894 --> 00:33:25,072
FROM ITALY, VERY EXPENSIVE.
713
00:33:25,072 --> 00:33:26,383
>> O.K.
714
00:33:26,383 --> 00:33:28,144
LET ME GRAB MY MONEY BELT.
715
00:33:28,144 --> 00:33:29,145
>> O.K.
716
00:33:29,145 --> 00:33:33,666
>> O.K.
717
00:33:47,784 --> 00:33:50,028
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
718
00:33:50,028 --> 00:33:50,614
>> IT'S FAKE.
719
00:33:50,614 --> 00:33:51,581
>> EW.
720
00:33:51,581 --> 00:33:53,824
>> YEAH, THOMAS, IT'S MAGNUS.
721
00:33:53,824 --> 00:33:55,205
I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH
722
00:33:55,205 --> 00:33:56,965
YOUR ASSISTANT.
723
00:33:56,965 --> 00:33:58,139
HE SAID YOU'RE NOT EVEN IN
724
00:33:58,139 --> 00:33:59,865
THE OFFICE TODAY.
725
00:33:59,865 --> 00:34:01,625
HOW CAN THAT BE?
726
00:34:01,625 --> 00:34:02,661
WE'VE GOT A MEETING IN
727
00:34:02,661 --> 00:34:04,387
15 MINUTES.
728
00:34:04,387 --> 00:34:05,905
WELL, CAN'T THE CLIENT MEET US?
729
00:34:05,905 --> 00:34:07,286
NO, I GOT HIM IN THE CAR
730
00:34:07,286 --> 00:34:08,460
RIGHT NOW.
731
00:34:08,460 --> 00:34:11,359
THOMAS?
732
00:34:11,359 --> 00:34:12,842
NO, THAT'S UNACCEPTABLE.
733
00:34:12,842 --> 00:34:14,466
UTTERLY UNACCEPTABLE.
734
00:34:14,466 --> 00:34:15,570
I'M VERY DISAPPOINTED IN YOUR
735
00:34:15,570 --> 00:34:17,158
LACK OF VISION.
736
00:34:17,158 --> 00:34:19,056
>> WHAT'S WRONG?
737
00:34:19,056 --> 00:34:20,058
>> JUST LET ME THINK FOR
738
00:34:20,058 --> 00:34:21,024
A SECOND.
739
00:34:21,024 --> 00:34:22,232
>> O.K.
740
00:34:22,232 --> 00:34:24,855
>> I HATE THIS WEATHER.
741
00:34:24,855 --> 00:34:28,065
I THINK I'M GETTING A MIGRAINE.
742
00:34:29,619 --> 00:34:32,139
>> OH, HONEY.
743
00:34:32,139 --> 00:34:33,864
>> LOOK, JOHNSON.
744
00:34:33,864 --> 00:34:35,487
I MAY HAVE A BIT OF A PROBLEM
745
00:34:35,487 --> 00:34:36,936
FINDING YOU A MANUFACTURER.
746
00:34:36,936 --> 00:34:38,005
ALL MY CLIENTS ARE ONLY
747
00:34:38,005 --> 00:34:39,766
INTERESTED IN BIG DEALS.
748
00:34:39,766 --> 00:34:40,768
>> BUT ONLY THE FIRST ORDER
749
00:34:40,768 --> 00:34:41,803
WILL BE SMALL, MAGNUS.
750
00:34:41,803 --> 00:34:43,184
I HAVE LOTS OF IDEAS LINED UP
751
00:34:43,184 --> 00:34:44,427
AT JOHNSON NOVELTIES.
752
00:34:44,427 --> 00:34:46,842
>> YEAH, I KNOW, I KNOW.
753
00:34:48,465 --> 00:34:49,466
BUT LET'S BE REALISTIC FOR
754
00:34:49,466 --> 00:34:50,088
A SECOND.
755
00:34:50,088 --> 00:34:51,951
TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE HERE.
756
00:34:51,951 --> 00:34:53,643
I RECKON YOU HAVE TWO CHOICES.
757
00:34:53,643 --> 00:34:54,851
ONE, I CAN HAVE OLIVE HERE
758
00:34:54,851 --> 00:34:56,404
GIVE YOU YOUR MONEY BACK WHILST
759
00:34:56,404 --> 00:34:57,612
YOU STILL HAVE THE CHANCE TO
760
00:34:57,612 --> 00:34:59,718
FIND ANOTHER MANUFACTURER,
761
00:34:59,718 --> 00:35:01,478
OR YOU CAN STICK WITH ME.
762
00:35:01,478 --> 00:35:02,686
>> I WANT TO STICK WITH YOU,
763
00:35:02,686 --> 00:35:03,825
OF COURSE.
764
00:35:03,825 --> 00:35:04,826
>> YEAH, THE PROBLEM WITH THAT
765
00:35:04,826 --> 00:35:06,449
IS IT ISGONNA COST YOU A LITTLE
766
00:35:06,449 --> 00:35:09,141
BIT MORE MONEY.
767
00:35:09,141 --> 00:35:10,901
>> HOW MUCH ARE WE TALKING?
768
00:35:10,901 --> 00:35:12,696
>> 15 TO 20% OF THE ORDER SIZE.
769
00:35:12,696 --> 00:35:14,284
>> THAT'S 25% OF WHAT I ACTUALLY
770
00:35:14,284 --> 00:35:15,492
BROUGHT OUT HERE.
771
00:35:15,492 --> 00:35:17,839
>> WELL, YEAH, IT IS.
772
00:35:17,839 --> 00:35:18,840
BUT I'LL NEGOTIATE THAT PAYOUT
773
00:35:18,840 --> 00:35:20,221
ON THE BACK END, YOU'LL SEE IT
774
00:35:20,221 --> 00:35:21,291
ALL BACK IN PRODUCT.
775
00:35:21,291 --> 00:35:24,191
I'LL MAKE SURE OF IT.
776
00:35:24,191 --> 00:35:27,953
>> O.K.
777
00:35:27,953 --> 00:35:31,059
WOULD, UH, 500 BE ENOUGH FOR A
778
00:35:31,059 --> 00:35:33,027
GOOD FAITH FEE?
779
00:35:33,027 --> 00:35:35,340
>> NO, NOT REALLY.
780
00:35:35,340 --> 00:35:36,617
I THINK ANYTHING LESS THAN...
781
00:35:36,617 --> 00:35:40,138
I THINK ANYTHING LESS THAN...
2,000 IS A BIT OF AN INSULT.
782
00:35:40,138 --> 00:35:47,800
2,000 IS A BIT OF AN INSULT.
783
00:35:47,800 --> 00:35:52,564
>> OLIVE.
784
00:35:58,294 --> 00:36:00,468
YEAH, WENDY, IT'S MAGNUS.
785
00:36:00,468 --> 00:36:03,471
YEAH, IT FELL THROUGH.
786
00:36:03,471 --> 00:36:04,886
I MIGHT AS WELL COME BACK TO
787
00:36:04,886 --> 00:36:06,094
THE OFFICE AND LOOK OVER THOSE
788
00:36:06,094 --> 00:36:08,131
ANDERSON PAPERS AGAIN, YEAH.
789
00:36:08,131 --> 00:36:09,132
I'LL BE THERE IN ABOUT
790
00:36:09,132 --> 00:36:11,893
25 MINUTES, ALL RIGHT?
791
00:36:11,893 --> 00:36:14,689
ALL RIGHT, SEE YOU IN A BIT.
792
00:36:14,689 --> 00:36:16,104
LISTEN, JOHNSON, I'M GONNA
793
00:36:16,104 --> 00:36:17,485
DROP YOU OFF AT THE END OF
794
00:36:17,485 --> 00:36:18,900
THE BLOCK HERE, I'M GONNA GO AND
795
00:36:18,900 --> 00:36:19,522
TAKE ANOTHER MEETING.
796
00:36:19,522 --> 00:36:20,523
I'LL CALL YOU AFTER HE'S
797
00:36:20,523 --> 00:36:21,731
COME BACK TO ME WITH ANYTHING,
798
00:36:21,731 --> 00:36:22,801
ALL RIGHT?
799
00:36:22,801 --> 00:36:23,664
>> ALL RIGHT.
800
00:36:23,664 --> 00:36:26,943
>> CHAUFFEUR.
801
00:36:26,943 --> 00:36:32,776
>> CHAUFFEUR.
802
00:37:02,220 --> 00:37:06,224
>>
803
00:37:06,224 --> 00:37:10,780
YEAR OF THE PIG.
804
00:37:10,780 --> 00:37:12,230
>> YOU ARE THE PIG.
805
00:37:12,230 --> 00:37:13,610
>> NO, NO.
806
00:37:13,610 --> 00:37:16,234
YEAR OF THE PIG.
807
00:37:16,234 --> 00:37:18,236
>> YOU ARE THE PIG...
808
00:37:18,236 --> 00:37:19,444
NOT ME.
809
00:37:19,444 --> 00:37:21,791
>> PIGGY. LIKE...
810
00:37:21,791 --> 00:37:23,965
YEAR OF THE PIGGY.
811
00:37:23,965 --> 00:37:26,554
>> OH, YEAR, YEAH.
812
00:37:26,554 --> 00:37:30,903
THIS YEAR. PIGGY YEAR.
813
00:37:30,903 --> 00:37:32,595
>> MM...
814
00:37:32,595 --> 00:37:33,803
I'LL TAKE THIS, PLEASE.
815
00:37:34,942 --> 00:37:36,323
>>
816
00:37:45,263 --> 00:37:47,989
>> Magnus:
817
00:37:47,989 --> 00:37:49,715
VERY NICE.
818
00:37:49,715 --> 00:37:52,373
>>
819
00:37:52,373 --> 00:37:56,377
>>
820
00:38:48,981 --> 00:38:49,810
>> HELLO?
821
00:38:49,810 --> 00:38:51,743
>> Johnson, IT'S Magnus.
822
00:38:51,743 --> 00:38:52,640
>> HEY, MAGNUS.
823
00:38:52,640 --> 00:38:54,332
>> Listen, I got some good news.
824
00:38:54,332 --> 00:38:55,747
I just got you a meeting.
825
00:38:55,747 --> 00:38:56,955
>> REALLY?
826
00:38:56,955 --> 00:38:58,853
WELL, THAT, THAT, THAT'S GREAT!
827
00:38:58,853 --> 00:39:00,096
WHEN? >> Where are you?
828
00:39:00,096 --> 00:39:01,511
>> I THINK I'M AT PU DONG
829
00:39:01,511 --> 00:39:02,374
RIGHT NOW.
830
00:39:02,374 --> 00:39:03,479
>> O.K., well, listen.
831
00:39:03,479 --> 00:39:04,514
Meet me at the Northern
832
00:39:04,514 --> 00:39:05,377
train station, O.K.?
833
00:39:05,377 --> 00:39:06,447
Northern train station
834
00:39:06,447 --> 00:39:07,379
in 10 minutes.
835
00:39:07,379 --> 00:39:08,760
>> O.K., NO, WHERE'S THE
836
00:39:08,760 --> 00:39:09,761
NORTHERN TRAIN STATION?
837
00:39:09,761 --> 00:39:12,557
HELLO? MAGNUS? MAGNUS?
838
00:39:14,800 --> 00:39:18,045
SIR? SIR? HOW MUCH LONGER?
839
00:39:18,045 --> 00:39:21,082
>> 20 MINUTES.
840
00:39:21,082 --> 00:39:22,118
20 MINUTES.
841
00:39:22,118 --> 00:39:23,671
>> O.K., UM, CAN YOU MAKE IT
842
00:39:23,671 --> 00:39:25,190
IN 10 MINUTES?
843
00:39:25,190 --> 00:39:28,020
IN 10 MINUTES?
>> AH...
844
00:39:28,020 --> 00:39:32,508
>> AH...
845
00:39:32,508 --> 00:39:33,371
>> NOW, THE MANUFACTURER IS
846
00:39:33,371 --> 00:39:34,544
ABOUT 45 MINUTES OUT OF TOWN,
847
00:39:34,544 --> 00:39:35,752
SO HIS RATES ARE REALLY GOOD
848
00:39:35,752 --> 00:39:36,753
AND YOUR MONEY'S GONNA GO
849
00:39:36,753 --> 00:39:37,375
A LOT FURTHER.
850
00:39:37,375 --> 00:39:38,617
I DON'T KNOW WHY I DIDN'T
851
00:39:38,617 --> 00:39:39,480
THINK OF IT BEFORE.
852
00:39:39,480 --> 00:39:40,343
IT'S PERFECT.
853
00:39:40,343 --> 00:39:41,206
HIS NAME'S JOE FRIEDMAN.
854
00:39:41,206 --> 00:39:42,241
I'VE DONE WORK WITH HIM,
855
00:39:42,241 --> 00:39:42,828
EXCEPTIONAL WORK.
856
00:39:42,828 --> 00:39:43,864
TAKE THAT IF YOU GOT
857
00:39:43,864 --> 00:39:44,554
ANY PROBLEMS.
858
00:39:44,554 --> 00:39:45,969
I'M SORRY TO HAVE TO RUSH YOU,
859
00:39:45,969 --> 00:39:47,177
BUT IT'S GOT TO HAPPEN TODAY.
860
00:39:47,177 --> 00:39:48,213
HE'S FLYING TO A WEDDING
861
00:39:48,213 --> 00:39:49,007
TOMORROW IN ISRAEL.
862
00:39:49,007 --> 00:39:50,249
THAT'S YOUR TICKET, ALL RIGHT?
863
00:39:50,249 --> 00:39:51,527
I'M SORRY, I WOULD COME WITH
864
00:39:51,527 --> 00:39:52,976
YOU, BUT I GOT CLIENTS IN TOWN
865
00:39:52,976 --> 00:39:53,736
ALL DAY.
866
00:39:53,736 --> 00:39:54,806
>> MAGNUS, I THINK YOU SHOULD
867
00:39:54,806 --> 00:39:55,738
REALLY COME WITH ME.
868
00:39:55,738 --> 00:39:56,739
>> YOU'LL BE FINE.
869
00:39:56,739 --> 00:39:57,809
HE'S A JEW FROM CANADA.
870
00:39:57,809 --> 00:40:00,363
HE SPEAKS PERFECT ENGLISH.
871
00:40:00,363 --> 00:40:01,399
>> MAGNUS, I THINK YOU SHOULD
872
00:40:01,399 --> 00:40:03,159
REALLY COME WITH ME.
873
00:40:03,159 --> 00:40:04,747
>> YOU DON'T NEED ME, JOHNSON.
874
00:40:04,747 --> 00:40:07,646
YOU'RE A NATURAL BUSINESSMAN.
875
00:40:07,646 --> 00:40:08,647
>> REALLY?
876
00:40:08,647 --> 00:40:09,648
>> YOU IMPRESSED ME, RIGHT?
877
00:40:09,648 --> 00:40:10,787
NOW, CALL ME THE MINUTE
878
00:40:10,787 --> 00:40:11,581
YOU GET BACK.
879
00:40:11,581 --> 00:40:13,238
I WANT TO HEAR ALL THE DETAILS.
880
00:40:13,238 --> 00:40:14,412
AND TONIGHT I'M GONNA WINE
881
00:40:14,412 --> 00:40:15,551
AND DINE MY NUMBER-ONE NOVELTY
882
00:40:15,551 --> 00:40:17,587
CLIENT.
883
00:40:17,587 --> 00:40:18,864
YOU BETTER GO, ALL RIGHT?
884
00:40:18,864 --> 00:40:19,969
GO GET THE TRAIN.
885
00:40:19,969 --> 00:40:22,143
GO GET THE TRAIN.
>> MAGNUS... THANKS.
886
00:40:22,143 --> 00:40:25,699
>> MAGNUS... THANKS.
887
00:40:25,699 --> 00:40:28,046
>> MAGNUS... THANKS.
888
00:41:32,559 --> 00:41:33,836
[MUSIC AND WHISTLING
889
00:41:36,183 --> 00:41:58,274
CONTINUE...]
890
00:41:58,274 --> 00:41:59,758
EXCUSE ME.
891
00:41:59,758 --> 00:42:02,381
EXCUSE ME, UM...
892
00:42:02,381 --> 00:42:04,383
UM, DO YOU, DO YOU KNOW
893
00:42:04,383 --> 00:42:05,453
WHERE WE ARE GOING?
894
00:42:05,453 --> 00:42:06,696
UM, DO YOU KNOW WHERE
895
00:42:06,696 --> 00:42:09,147
THE TRAIN IS STOPPING?
896
00:42:09,147 --> 00:42:11,011
SEE, I'VE BEEN ON THIS TRAIN
897
00:42:11,011 --> 00:42:13,047
FOR OVER AN HOUR NOW, AND I
898
00:42:13,047 --> 00:42:14,532
THINK I WAS SUPPOSED TO STOP
899
00:42:14,532 --> 00:42:17,465
AROUND 40 MINUTES.
900
00:42:17,465 --> 00:42:18,777
DO, DO YOU KNOW WHERE
901
00:42:18,777 --> 00:42:20,054
THIS TRAIN IS GOING?
902
00:42:20,054 --> 00:42:22,470
WHERE WE'RE STOPPING?
903
00:42:22,470 --> 00:42:24,783
WHERE WE'RE STOPPING?
>>
904
00:42:24,783 --> 00:42:30,202
>>
905
00:42:30,202 --> 00:42:31,894
>> UM, THE, THE TRAIN.
906
00:42:31,894 --> 00:42:33,171
>> WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
907
00:42:33,171 --> 00:42:38,348
>> YEAH, UM...
908
00:42:38,348 --> 00:42:42,836
>>
909
00:42:42,836 --> 00:42:45,528
ZHOUZHUANG.
910
00:42:45,528 --> 00:42:47,323
>> ONE MORE TIME?
911
00:42:47,323 --> 00:42:48,393
>>
912
00:42:48,393 --> 00:42:52,535
UM... YOU... YOU GOING
913
00:42:52,535 --> 00:42:54,088
TO ZHOUZHUANG.
914
00:42:54,088 --> 00:42:55,434
>> O.K., ZHOUZHUANG.
915
00:42:55,434 --> 00:42:57,920
UM... IS JOE FRIEDMAN THERE?
916
00:42:57,920 --> 00:43:01,924
DO YOU KNOW A JOE FRIEDMAN?
917
00:43:01,924 --> 00:43:03,926
SORRY, UM...
918
00:43:03,926 --> 00:43:05,065
>> FRIEDMAN?
919
00:43:05,065 --> 00:43:10,760
>>
920
00:43:10,760 --> 00:43:11,899
WHAT'S WRONG?
921
00:43:11,899 --> 00:43:13,798
>> SORRY, UM, NO, I, I...
922
00:43:13,798 --> 00:43:15,316
>> SORRY, UM, NO, I, I...
UM...
923
00:43:15,316 --> 00:43:20,667
UM...
924
00:43:20,667 --> 00:43:24,394
>> MM... UH...
925
00:43:24,394 --> 00:43:26,638
>>
926
00:43:26,638 --> 00:43:31,609
UM...
927
00:43:31,609 --> 00:43:33,852
"GET OFF TRAIN."
928
00:43:35,889 --> 00:43:41,273
>>
929
00:43:41,273 --> 00:43:44,414
WHERE... WHERE...
930
00:43:44,414 --> 00:43:46,416
WHERE GET OFF TRAIN?
931
00:43:46,416 --> 00:43:48,626
>> YEAH, GET OFF TRAIN.
932
00:43:48,626 --> 00:43:50,973
STOP. WHERE DOES TRAIN STOP?
933
00:43:50,973 --> 00:43:53,354
>> ZHOU... ZHOUZHUANG.
934
00:43:53,354 --> 00:43:55,702
>> ZHOUZHUANG?
935
00:43:55,702 --> 00:43:57,151
YOU KNOW WHAT?
936
00:43:57,151 --> 00:43:59,464
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I REMEMBER THAT IN MY GUIDEBOOK.
937
00:43:59,464 --> 00:44:03,433
I REMEMBER THAT IN MY GUIDEBOOK.
938
00:44:03,433 --> 00:44:07,299
ZHOUZHUANG.
939
00:44:07,299 --> 00:44:09,992
IT'S AN ANCIENT WATER CITY.
940
00:44:09,992 --> 00:44:11,165
>> UH...
941
00:44:11,165 --> 00:44:13,271
>> WATER CITY.
942
00:44:13,271 --> 00:44:14,893
>> WHAT CITY?
943
00:44:14,893 --> 00:44:17,965
>> WATER. UM...
944
00:44:17,965 --> 00:44:20,830
WATER, WATER, WATER, WATER.
945
00:44:20,830 --> 00:44:21,762
>>
946
00:44:21,762 --> 00:44:25,939
>> YEAH, WATER CITY.
947
00:44:25,939 --> 00:44:27,388
DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
948
00:44:27,388 --> 00:44:29,183
>> NO, NO, NO.
949
00:44:29,183 --> 00:44:30,460
SORRY, SORRY.
950
00:44:30,460 --> 00:44:31,669
>> I DON'T UNDERSTAND EITHER.
951
00:44:31,669 --> 00:44:32,531
UM...
952
00:44:32,531 --> 00:44:34,085
SORRY.
953
00:44:34,085 --> 00:44:35,017
>> IT'S ACTUALLY QUITE
954
00:44:35,017 --> 00:44:36,466
CONFUSING, UM, AND I'M ACTING
955
00:44:36,466 --> 00:44:38,054
LIKE A COMPLETE FOOL RIGHT NOW.
956
00:44:38,054 --> 00:44:39,400
SORRY.
957
00:44:39,400 --> 00:44:41,264
UM...
958
00:44:41,264 --> 00:44:45,821
>> VERY SORRY.
959
00:44:45,821 --> 00:44:48,927
I SPEAK ENGLISH.
960
00:44:48,927 --> 00:44:50,860
>> YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?
961
00:44:50,860 --> 00:44:55,037
>> UM, NOT SPEAK ENGLISH.
962
00:44:55,037 --> 00:44:57,108
>> YEAH, UM... I DON'T
963
00:44:57,108 --> 00:44:58,350
SPEAK CHINESE.
964
00:44:58,350 --> 00:45:01,457
OH, MY GOD!
965
00:45:01,457 --> 00:45:05,185
>> UH, WE'RE IN TROUBLE, HUH?
966
00:45:05,185 --> 00:45:06,496
>> HMM?
967
00:45:06,496 --> 00:45:09,361
>> HMM?
968
00:45:14,850 --> 00:45:16,610
>> MALE. >> MALE.
969
00:45:16,610 --> 00:45:17,404
>> MALE.
970
00:45:17,404 --> 00:45:20,269
>>
971
00:45:20,269 --> 00:45:21,684
>>
972
00:45:21,684 --> 00:45:25,688
>>
973
00:45:25,688 --> 00:45:27,863
>>
974
00:45:27,863 --> 00:45:30,175
>> VERY, VERY GOOD.
975
00:45:33,558 --> 00:45:34,524
DAD.
976
00:45:34,524 --> 00:45:36,043
>> DAD. MAMA.
977
00:45:36,043 --> 00:45:37,424
>>
978
00:45:37,424 --> 00:45:40,496
>> PIAO LIANG.
979
00:45:40,496 --> 00:45:44,880
>> PIAO LIANG.UM...
980
00:45:44,880 --> 00:45:46,744
PIAO LIANG?
981
00:45:46,744 --> 00:45:48,711
>> YES, YOU ARE...
982
00:45:48,711 --> 00:45:49,885
PIAO LIANG.
983
00:45:49,885 --> 00:45:53,474
>> UH...
984
00:45:53,474 --> 00:45:56,305
>> UH...
985
00:46:02,760 --> 00:46:04,554
>> UM, SO, LET ME CALL MY
986
00:46:04,554 --> 00:46:06,039
BUSINESS COLLEAGUE ONE MORE
987
00:46:06,039 --> 00:46:07,868
TIME, O.K.? >> UH, O.K.
988
00:46:07,868 --> 00:46:09,525
TIME, O.K.? >> UH, O.K.
>> O.K.
989
00:46:09,525 --> 00:46:16,601
>> O.K.
990
00:46:16,601 --> 00:46:18,430
>> O.K.
991
00:46:27,439 --> 00:46:31,858
DAMN IT!
992
00:46:31,858 --> 00:46:32,962
GUESS I SHOULD STICK
993
00:46:32,962 --> 00:46:34,895
TO WHAT I'M GOOD AT.
994
00:46:34,895 --> 00:46:37,173
TO WHAT I'M GOOD AT.
>>
995
00:46:37,173 --> 00:46:56,330
>>
996
00:47:00,231 --> 00:47:02,923
>>
997
00:47:02,923 --> 00:47:14,901
>>
998
00:47:14,901 --> 00:47:18,352
>>
999
00:47:32,125 --> 00:47:36,060
>> XIE XIE.
1000
00:47:36,060 --> 00:47:39,546
>> UM, YEAH, HE DIDN'T ANSWER.
1001
00:47:39,546 --> 00:47:44,896
>> UH...
1002
00:47:44,896 --> 00:47:48,072
UH... ARE YOU GOING
1003
00:47:48,072 --> 00:47:49,901
TO ZHOUZHUANG?
1004
00:47:49,901 --> 00:47:52,662
>> UM... I DON'T KNOW.
1005
00:47:52,662 --> 00:47:53,940
UH...
1006
00:47:53,940 --> 00:48:00,153
>> UH... COME... COME WITH ME.
1007
00:48:00,153 --> 00:48:01,188
>> COME WITH YOU?
1008
00:48:01,188 --> 00:48:05,813
>> YEAH. UH, YOU... YOU AND ME
1009
00:48:05,813 --> 00:48:09,093
WALK TOGETHER.
1010
00:48:09,093 --> 00:48:10,888
YOU... YOU AND ME
1011
00:48:10,888 --> 00:48:12,475
WALK TOGETHER.
1012
00:48:12,475 --> 00:48:14,029
>> O.K., I HAVE A LITTLE TIME,
1013
00:48:14,029 --> 00:48:15,306
I GUESS. >> YEAH.
1014
00:48:15,306 --> 00:48:16,445
>> O.K.
1015
00:48:32,840 --> 00:48:35,878
>>
1016
00:48:39,468 --> 00:48:41,090
>> DO I PIAO LIANG?
1017
00:48:41,090 --> 00:48:42,643
>> MM, BEAUTIFUL.
1018
00:48:42,643 --> 00:48:44,059
>> BEAUTIFUL, YEAH.
1019
00:48:44,059 --> 00:48:46,958
>> BEAUTIFUL, YEAH.
>>
1020
00:48:46,958 --> 00:48:56,071
>>
1021
00:48:56,071 --> 00:48:58,107
>>
1022
00:49:11,672 --> 00:49:12,466
>> HOLD ON.
1023
00:49:12,466 --> 00:49:14,434
UH, PHOTO.
1024
00:49:14,434 --> 00:49:15,849
UH, PHOTO.
UM...
1025
00:49:15,849 --> 00:49:20,819
UM...
1026
00:49:20,819 --> 00:49:23,305
UM...
1027
00:49:26,480 --> 00:49:28,137
CAN I PUT MY ARM AROUND YOU?
1028
00:49:28,137 --> 00:49:30,968
YEAH, O.K.
1029
00:49:30,968 --> 00:49:32,555
SAY CHEESE, ALL RIGHT?
1030
00:49:32,555 --> 00:49:37,975
ONE... TWO... THREE.
1031
00:49:39,528 --> 00:49:40,978
[MAN SINGING IN FRENCH,
1032
00:49:43,325 --> 00:49:58,512
CHORUS VOCALIZING...]
1033
00:49:58,512 --> 00:50:00,825
CHORUS VOCALIZING...]
>>
1034
00:50:00,825 --> 00:50:04,415
>>
1035
00:50:05,588 --> 00:50:07,797
>> "...BY THE OFFSPRING OF..."
1036
00:50:14,839 --> 00:50:18,774
WOW.
1037
00:50:18,774 --> 00:50:20,051
>>
1038
00:50:20,051 --> 00:50:21,501
>>
1039
00:50:21,501 --> 00:50:23,813
>>
1040
00:50:42,246 --> 00:50:44,351
YA, YA, YA!
1041
00:50:44,351 --> 00:50:46,733
YA, YA, YA!
1042
00:50:52,014 --> 00:50:53,843
>>
1043
00:50:53,843 --> 00:51:10,205
>>
1044
00:51:14,554 --> 00:51:18,972
>> UM... WILL YOU WRITE TO ME?
1045
00:51:18,972 --> 00:51:22,769
UM...
1046
00:51:22,769 --> 00:51:23,632
>> HUH?
1047
00:51:23,632 --> 00:51:27,325
>>
1048
00:51:27,325 --> 00:51:28,913
>> YEAH.
1049
00:51:28,913 --> 00:51:30,259
>>
1050
00:51:30,259 --> 00:51:32,503
>> YEAH.
1051
00:51:32,503 --> 00:51:34,884
>> UH...
1052
00:51:34,884 --> 00:51:36,541
>> YEAH...
1053
00:51:36,541 --> 00:51:41,201
>> O.K., O.K.
1054
00:51:41,201 --> 00:51:42,168
THANK YOU.
1055
00:51:42,168 --> 00:51:44,584
>> OH... I GOT TO GO.
1056
00:51:44,584 --> 00:51:46,931
>> OH... I GOT TO GO.
1057
00:51:52,626 --> 00:51:54,801
ALL RIGHT... ALL RIGHT.
1058
00:51:54,801 --> 00:52:24,934
ALL RIGHT... ALL RIGHT.
1059
00:52:29,560 --> 00:52:30,802
DO YOU GUYS EVEN KNOW WHO
1060
00:52:30,802 --> 00:52:33,667
SAMUEL SORENSON ADAMS IS?
1061
00:52:33,667 --> 00:52:35,980
DO YOU? HE WAS THIS GUY WHO WAS
1062
00:52:35,980 --> 00:52:37,326
WORKING AS A SALESMAN FOR
1063
00:52:37,326 --> 00:52:39,432
A COAL TAR COMPANY WHEN HE CAME
1064
00:52:39,432 --> 00:52:41,296
UP WITH THE IDEA FOR CACHOO
1065
00:52:41,296 --> 00:52:43,263
SNEEZING POWDER.
1066
00:52:43,263 --> 00:52:44,264
A SNEEZING POWDER CRAZE
1067
00:52:44,264 --> 00:52:45,231
SWEPT THE COUNTRY.
1068
00:52:46,335 --> 00:52:48,268
WITHIN THREE MONTHS, HE HAD
1069
00:52:48,268 --> 00:52:51,789
SOLD OVER 70,000 JARS.
1070
00:52:51,789 --> 00:52:53,170
HE WENT ON TO INVENT CLASSICS
1071
00:52:53,170 --> 00:52:54,930
LIKE BUG IN THE ICE CUBE,
1072
00:52:54,930 --> 00:52:56,103
THE SQUIRTING QUARTER,
1073
00:52:56,103 --> 00:52:57,760
THE EXPLODING CIGARETTE,
1074
00:52:57,760 --> 00:52:59,314
SNAKE IN A CAN, AND OF COURSE,
1075
00:52:59,314 --> 00:53:01,454
THE SUPER JOY BUZZER.
1076
00:53:03,180 --> 00:53:05,734
SAM ADAMS IS CONSIDERED THE
1077
00:53:05,734 --> 00:53:07,770
GRANDFATHER OF NOVELTY, AND HE
1078
00:53:07,770 --> 00:53:09,841
WAS SO SUCCESSFUL, HE DIDN'T
1079
00:53:09,841 --> 00:53:11,636
HAVE TO CUT A SINGLE SALARY
1080
00:53:11,636 --> 00:53:14,052
EVEN DURING THE ENTIRE GREAT
1081
00:53:14,052 --> 00:53:16,123
DEPRESSION.
1082
00:53:16,123 --> 00:53:17,021
YOU KNOW WHY?
1083
00:53:17,677 --> 00:53:18,747
BECAUSE ALL OF HIS IDEAS
1084
00:53:18,747 --> 00:53:19,610
WERE RECESSION-PROOF,
1085
00:53:19,610 --> 00:53:21,750
THAT'S WHY.
1086
00:53:21,750 --> 00:53:23,165
...HEY, MAGNUS.
1087
00:53:23,165 --> 00:53:24,684
>> If I set up a meeting, well,
1088
00:53:24,684 --> 00:53:26,203
you sure as shit better show up.
1089
00:53:26,203 --> 00:53:27,273
Joe Friedman is livid!
1090
00:53:27,273 --> 00:53:28,412
He's been waiting for you
1091
00:53:28,412 --> 00:53:29,344
all day.
1092
00:53:29,344 --> 00:53:30,552
Have you any idea what an
1093
00:53:30,552 --> 00:53:31,760
asshole he is when he's pissed?
1094
00:53:31,760 --> 00:53:32,761
>> MAGNUS, I'VE BEEN TRYING TO
1095
00:53:32,761 --> 00:53:34,176
GET AHOLD OF YOU ALL DAY LONG,
1096
00:53:34,176 --> 00:53:34,797
AND I COULDN?T--
1097
00:53:34,797 --> 00:53:36,005
>> Just meet me at the Yesterday
1098
00:53:36,005 --> 00:53:37,421
Pub in 30 minutes with the keys
1099
00:53:37,421 --> 00:53:38,249
to my client apartment.
1100
00:53:38,249 --> 00:53:39,492
I am done dealing with you.
1101
00:53:39,492 --> 00:53:40,251
You're an amateur.
1102
00:53:40,251 --> 00:53:41,804
>> MAGNUS. MAGNUS! HELLO?
1103
00:53:41,804 --> 00:53:44,117
HELLO? MAGNUS!
1104
00:53:44,117 --> 00:53:46,947
HELLO? MAGNUS!
1105
00:54:02,756 --> 00:54:04,620
MAGNUS! WHAT'S WRONG?
1106
00:54:04,620 --> 00:54:05,690
>> I'VE GOT A MIGRAINE.
1107
00:54:05,690 --> 00:54:06,415
THAT'S WHAT'S WRONG.
1108
00:54:06,415 --> 00:54:07,692
>> MAGNUS, I THINK YOU PUT ME
1109
00:54:07,692 --> 00:54:08,590
ON THE WRONG TRAIN.
1110
00:54:08,590 --> 00:54:10,247
I GOT ON THE TRAIN YOU TOLD ME--
1111
00:54:10,247 --> 00:54:11,282
>> BULLSHIT! I'VE WORKED HARD.
1112
00:54:11,282 --> 00:54:12,559
I'VE WORKED VERY HARD FOR THOSE
1113
00:54:12,559 --> 00:54:13,560
MANUFACTURING CONTACTS, AND I'M
1114
00:54:13,560 --> 00:54:14,872
NOT HAVING 'EM STUFFED UP BY
1115
00:54:14,872 --> 00:54:15,666
SOME BRIC-A-BRAC PUSHER.
1116
00:54:15,666 --> 00:54:16,391
>> THIS IS ABSURD.
1117
00:54:16,391 --> 00:54:17,426
I WOULD NEVER DO ANYTHING--
1118
00:54:17,426 --> 00:54:18,462
>> YOU HAVE PUT IN JEOPARDY
1119
00:54:18,462 --> 00:54:19,670
A MUCH LARGER DEAL I WAS
1120
00:54:19,670 --> 00:54:20,567
WORKING ON WITH THOSE
1121
00:54:20,567 --> 00:54:21,327
MANUFACTURING CONTACTS.
1122
00:54:21,327 --> 00:54:22,328
>> I TRIED CALLING ALL DAY,
1123
00:54:22,328 --> 00:54:23,501
AND I-- >> LOWER YOUR VOICE!
1124
00:54:23,501 --> 00:54:25,710
I TOLD YOU, I GOT A HEADACHE.
1125
00:54:25,710 --> 00:54:27,505
MAGNUS, I TRIED
1126
00:54:27,505 --> 00:54:29,024
CALLING ALL DAY, AND I COULDN?T
1127
00:54:29,024 --> 00:54:30,128
GET THROUGH, O.K.?
1128
00:54:30,128 --> 00:54:31,129
>> PROBABLY BECAUSE JOE FRIEDMAN
1129
00:54:31,129 --> 00:54:32,579
WAS UP MY ASS ALL DAY LONG
1130
00:54:32,579 --> 00:54:33,925
LOOKING FOR YOU!
1131
00:54:33,925 --> 00:54:35,202
NOW, GIVE ME THE KEYS.
1132
00:54:35,202 --> 00:54:36,514
YOU ARE NO LONGER A CLIENT
1133
00:54:36,514 --> 00:54:37,757
OF MINE.
1134
00:54:37,757 --> 00:54:38,930
ARE YOU SURE
1135
00:54:38,930 --> 00:54:40,553
ABOUT THIS? >> YES, I AM.
1136
00:54:40,553 --> 00:54:42,140
YES, I AM.
1137
00:54:45,005 --> 00:54:46,352
GOD, MY HEAD!
1138
00:54:46,352 --> 00:54:50,252
WHERE ARE THOSE PAINKILLERS?
1139
00:54:50,252 --> 00:54:53,290
>> I NEED MY MONEY BACK.
1140
00:54:53,290 --> 00:54:54,567
>> NO, THAT MONEY'S GONE,
1141
00:54:54,567 --> 00:54:55,809
JOHNSON.
1142
00:54:55,809 --> 00:55:01,298
WHERE ARE MY PAINKILLERS?
1143
00:55:01,298 --> 00:55:02,299
HAVE YOU GOT MY PAINKILLERS?
1144
00:55:02,299 --> 00:55:03,300
>> THEN HOW AM I GONNA
1145
00:55:03,300 --> 00:55:04,093
MANUFACTURE MY PRODUCT?
1146
00:55:04,093 --> 00:55:05,129
>> I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR
1147
00:55:05,129 --> 00:55:07,304
PRODUCT, JOHNSON.
1148
00:55:11,653 --> 00:55:14,794
I'M GONNA BE SICK.
1149
00:55:19,488 --> 00:55:20,489
>> I TRIED CALLING ALL DAY.
1150
00:55:20,489 --> 00:55:22,526
>> GIVE THE KEYS!
1151
00:55:22,526 --> 00:55:23,320
>> I KNOW.
1152
00:55:23,320 --> 00:55:24,424
I KNOW, O.K.?
1153
00:55:24,424 --> 00:55:26,081
CAN I PLEASE GO BACK AND PACK UP
1154
00:55:26,081 --> 00:55:27,082
MY THINGS?
1155
00:55:27,082 --> 00:55:28,497
>> WE PACK.
1156
00:55:28,497 --> 00:55:29,843
GIVE ME THE KEYS!
1157
00:55:29,843 --> 00:55:31,742
>> OLIVE, MAYBE YOU CAN TALK TO
1158
00:55:31,742 --> 00:55:34,400
MAGNUS.
1159
00:55:34,400 --> 00:55:36,505
ALL I NEED IS A MANUFACTURING
1160
00:55:36,505 --> 00:55:38,645
CONTACT, THAT IS IT!
1161
00:55:38,645 --> 00:55:42,062
CONTACT, THAT IS IT!
DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
1162
00:55:42,062 --> 00:56:02,324
DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
1163
00:56:02,324 --> 00:56:04,395
MR. CHOI, ANSWER, YOU FRIGGIN'
1164
00:56:04,395 --> 00:56:05,362
ASS-WIPE.
1165
00:56:05,362 --> 00:56:11,471
ASS-WIPE.
1166
00:57:48,292 --> 00:57:53,953
>> MY IDEA IS A NECESSITY.
1167
00:57:53,953 --> 00:57:56,231
AND THAT'S THE DIFFERENCE.
1168
00:57:56,231 --> 00:57:57,543
THAT'S THE HOOK.
1169
00:57:57,543 --> 00:57:59,337
YOU THINK IT'S A JOKE TILL YOU
1170
00:57:59,337 --> 00:58:00,925
ACTUALLY CONSIDER IT, THAT
1171
00:58:00,925 --> 00:58:03,997
EVERYWHERE, EVERYONE--
1172
00:58:03,997 --> 00:58:06,310
THAT EVERYONE EVERYWHERE WILL
1173
00:58:06,310 --> 00:58:09,140
WANT ONE, AND IT, IT'S BOTH
1174
00:58:09,140 --> 00:58:12,281
NOVEL, NEEDFUL, NOVEL-FULL,
1175
00:58:12,281 --> 00:58:14,456
AND THEREIN LIES ITS GINORMOUS
1176
00:58:14,456 --> 00:58:16,769
POTENTIAL FOR PROFIT.
1177
00:58:16,769 --> 00:58:19,634
>> GINORMOUS, RIGHT, RIGHT, O.K.
1178
00:58:19,634 --> 00:58:21,049
>> GOOD, SO I CAN COUNT ON MY
1179
00:58:21,049 --> 00:58:24,880
BANK FOR THE LOAN?
1180
00:58:24,880 --> 00:58:26,157
>>
1181
00:58:26,157 --> 00:58:30,058
NO, JOHNSON, NO.
1182
00:58:30,058 --> 00:58:33,889
>> REALLY?
1183
00:58:33,889 --> 00:58:36,064
I SEE.
1184
00:58:36,064 --> 00:58:38,860
I SEE, O.K.
1185
00:58:38,860 --> 00:58:41,069
WELL, I THINK YOU'RE MISSING OUT
1186
00:58:41,069 --> 00:58:43,312
ON AN INCREDIBLY EXCITING
1187
00:58:43,312 --> 00:58:46,108
OPPORTUNITY.
1188
00:58:46,108 --> 00:58:47,662
>> RIGHT, O.K.
1189
00:58:47,662 --> 00:58:49,526
SO, WE'RE DONE HERE.
1190
00:58:49,526 --> 00:58:51,942
TELL YOUR SISTER I SAID HELLO.
1191
00:58:51,942 --> 00:58:52,529
AUGH!
1192
00:58:52,529 --> 00:58:54,772
AUGH!
1193
00:59:05,680 --> 00:59:06,681
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA
1194
00:59:06,681 --> 00:59:08,165
DO, HUH?
1195
00:59:09,546 --> 00:59:11,513
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?
1196
00:59:11,513 --> 00:59:12,894
LIVE WITH YOUR MOM FOR THE REST
1197
00:59:12,894 --> 00:59:14,240
OF YOUR LIFE?
1198
00:59:14,240 --> 00:59:16,725
GO WORK FOR SOME JERK?
1199
00:59:16,725 --> 00:59:19,590
NO, NO WAY.
1200
00:59:19,590 --> 00:59:22,213
LOOK, YOU HAVE VISION.
1201
00:59:22,213 --> 00:59:27,287
YOU HAVE... NICENESS.
1202
00:59:27,287 --> 00:59:32,914
CREATIVITY.
1203
00:59:32,914 --> 00:59:34,916
JOHNSON, JUST KEEP YOUR EYE ON
1204
00:59:34,916 --> 00:59:36,227
THE PRIZE.
1205
00:59:36,227 --> 00:59:37,643
THE PRIZE.
EYE ON THE PRIZE.
1206
00:59:37,643 --> 00:59:46,617
EYE ON THE PRIZE.
1207
00:59:46,617 --> 00:59:48,239
UH, I LIKE TO CLOSE MY ACCOUNT,
1208
00:59:48,239 --> 00:59:48,930
PLEASE.
1209
00:59:48,930 --> 00:59:50,690
PLEASE.
O.K.
1210
00:59:50,690 --> 01:00:00,907
O.K.
1211
01:00:00,907 --> 01:00:02,115
And how would you like that,
1212
01:00:02,115 --> 01:00:03,530
sir?
1213
01:00:03,530 --> 01:00:05,222
>> HUNDREDS, PLEASE.
1214
01:00:05,222 --> 01:00:07,465
>> HUNDREDS, PLEASE.
>> Sure, one second.
1215
01:00:07,465 --> 01:00:11,228
>> Sure, one second.
1216
01:00:11,228 --> 01:00:17,475
>> Sure, one second.
1217
01:00:27,347 --> 01:00:28,763
BACK IN SHANGHAI,
1218
01:00:28,763 --> 01:00:29,453
BABY.
1219
01:00:29,453 --> 01:00:31,766
>> I KNOW, YOU READY TO GO OUT?
1220
01:00:31,766 --> 01:00:33,112
I'M EXHAUSTED.
1221
01:00:33,112 --> 01:00:34,458
>> UGH, SO WHAT'S UP WITH
1222
01:00:34,458 --> 01:00:35,493
CAPTAIN STUBEY?
1223
01:00:35,493 --> 01:00:36,702
HE'S, LIKE, OBSESSED WITH YOU.
1224
01:00:36,702 --> 01:00:37,703
>> THE MAN IS A PIG.
1225
01:00:37,703 --> 01:00:38,876
CAN YOU IMAGINE BEING MARRIED
1226
01:00:38,876 --> 01:00:40,947
TO HIM? HE'S DISGUSTING.
1227
01:00:40,947 --> 01:00:42,362
AND WHAT WAS UP WITH THAT GUY
1228
01:00:42,362 --> 01:00:43,847
IN 1-A, IS THAT GUY THAT, UM...
1229
01:00:43,847 --> 01:00:45,987
>> SLEPT WITH SUE?
1230
01:00:48,299 --> 01:00:49,128
>> WHOA, WHOA, DID MAGNUS
1231
01:00:49,128 --> 01:00:49,784
SEND YOU?
1232
01:00:49,784 --> 01:00:51,061
>> STAND DOWN!
1233
01:00:51,061 --> 01:00:52,269
>> I'M NOT GIVING YOU ANY MORE
1234
01:00:52,269 --> 01:00:52,856
MONEY.
1235
01:00:52,856 --> 01:00:53,891
GO!
1236
01:00:57,584 --> 01:00:58,137
>> GOT HIM?
1237
01:00:58,137 --> 01:01:03,487
>> GET THE KNIFE, IT'S IN THERE!
1238
01:01:09,596 --> 01:01:11,322
>> HE'S OUT.
1239
01:01:11,322 --> 01:01:12,669
DO YOU KNOW THIS GUY?
1240
01:01:12,669 --> 01:01:13,842
>> NO, NO IDEA.
1241
01:01:13,842 --> 01:01:14,912
WHAT'S HE DOING IN OUR
1242
01:01:14,912 --> 01:01:15,533
APARTMENT?
1243
01:01:15,533 --> 01:01:17,328
>> I DON'T KNOW.
1244
01:01:17,328 --> 01:01:18,329
>> WE HAVE ABOUT THREE SECONDS.
1245
01:01:18,329 --> 01:01:18,916
YOU READY?
1246
01:01:18,916 --> 01:01:23,162
>> YOU READY?
1247
01:01:23,162 --> 01:01:24,059
>>
1248
01:01:26,372 --> 01:01:27,580
>> WHO ARE YOU, WHAT ARE YOU
1249
01:01:27,580 --> 01:01:29,202
DOING IN OUR APARTMENT?
1250
01:01:29,202 --> 01:01:30,514
>> MAGNUS GAVE ME THE KEYS.
1251
01:01:30,514 --> 01:01:31,688
MAGNUS TOLD ME I COULD STAY
1252
01:01:31,688 --> 01:01:32,309
HERE.
1253
01:01:32,309 --> 01:01:32,896
>> WHAT KEYS?
1254
01:01:32,896 --> 01:01:34,829
>> WHO'S MAGNUS?
1255
01:01:34,829 --> 01:01:35,830
>> THE KEYS THAT ARE IN
1256
01:01:35,830 --> 01:01:36,554
MY POCKET.
1257
01:01:36,554 --> 01:01:37,624
MAY I PLEASE HAVE PERMISSION
1258
01:01:37,624 --> 01:01:39,488
TO RETRIEVE THEM?
1259
01:01:39,488 --> 01:01:42,215
>> MOVE SLOWLY.
1260
01:01:42,215 --> 01:01:43,354
>> YOU'RE PRESSING THAT UMBRELLA
1261
01:01:43,354 --> 01:01:44,735
AT A VERY VITAL VEIN.
1262
01:01:44,735 --> 01:01:47,842
>> SHUT UP!
1263
01:01:47,842 --> 01:01:49,050
>> I GUESS THEY'RE NOT IN MY
1264
01:01:49,050 --> 01:01:50,948
POCKET.
1265
01:01:50,948 --> 01:01:52,363
THEY MUST BE IN MY SHIN POCKET.
1266
01:01:52,363 --> 01:01:54,434
CHECK MY SHIN POCKET.
1267
01:01:54,434 --> 01:01:57,127
>> CHECK HIS SHINS.
1268
01:01:58,300 --> 01:01:59,094
>>
1269
01:02:00,095 --> 01:02:01,579
WHAT'D YOU DO THAT FOR?
1270
01:02:01,579 --> 01:02:02,580
YOU COULD'VE SIMPLY LIFTED
1271
01:02:02,580 --> 01:02:03,512
MY PANT LEG!
1272
01:02:03,512 --> 01:02:06,343
>> SHUT UP!
1273
01:02:10,347 --> 01:02:12,349
>> THESE ARE OUR HOUSEKEEPER'S
1274
01:02:12,349 --> 01:02:13,730
KEYS.
1275
01:02:13,730 --> 01:02:14,972
>> AT LEAST CAN YOU TELL ME
1276
01:02:14,972 --> 01:02:16,905
WHERE THE HOUSEKEEPER LIVES?
1277
01:02:19,080 --> 01:02:20,633
...THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
1278
01:02:20,633 --> 01:02:22,393
CON TRICKS AND PRACTICAL JOKES
1279
01:02:22,393 --> 01:02:23,981
CAN BE VERY BLURRED.
1280
01:02:25,672 --> 01:02:27,191
BOTH ARE HAD AT SOMEONE'S
1281
01:02:27,191 --> 01:02:28,745
EXPENSE AND BOTH REQUIRE
1282
01:02:28,745 --> 01:02:30,747
DECEPTION.
1283
01:02:30,747 --> 01:02:32,507
BUT HERE'S THE DIFFERENCE.
1284
01:02:32,507 --> 01:02:34,751
THE PRACTICAL JOKE IS ALL ABOUT
1285
01:02:34,751 --> 01:02:37,546
THE REVEAL, LIKE...
1286
01:02:37,546 --> 01:02:38,996
>> YOU LOSE ME MY JOB!
1287
01:02:38,996 --> 01:02:39,997
THE PLASTIC COOKIE
1288
01:02:39,997 --> 01:02:41,585
MUST BE BITTEN.
1289
01:02:41,585 --> 01:02:42,655
THE SQUIRTING FLOWER MUST
1290
01:02:42,655 --> 01:02:44,139
SQUIRT.
1291
01:02:44,139 --> 01:02:45,313
THE WHOOPEE CUSHION MUST BE
1292
01:02:45,313 --> 01:02:47,246
SAT ON.
1293
01:02:47,246 --> 01:02:49,075
THE JOKE MUST BE REVEALED FOR
1294
01:02:49,075 --> 01:02:55,323
HILARITY TO ENSUE.
1295
01:02:55,323 --> 01:02:57,877
AND THEREIN LIES THE DIFFERENCE
1296
01:02:57,877 --> 01:03:02,744
BETWEEN CON AND PRANK.
1297
01:03:02,744 --> 01:03:05,195
THE SUCCESSFUL CON TRICK MUST
1298
01:03:05,195 --> 01:03:07,922
REMAIN UNDETECTED AT ALL TIMES,
1299
01:03:07,922 --> 01:03:10,476
NO MATTER WHAT, FOR IT TO WORK.
1300
01:03:10,476 --> 01:03:12,236
THERE IS NO REVEAL,
1301
01:03:12,236 --> 01:03:14,135
HILARITY DOES NOT ENSUE.
1302
01:03:14,135 --> 01:03:15,619
WHAT?
1303
01:03:15,619 --> 01:03:18,967
OH, HONEY.
1304
01:03:18,967 --> 01:03:20,175
>> OLIVE, DO WE HAVE TO GO
1305
01:03:20,175 --> 01:03:22,005
THROUGH THIS EVERY TIME?
1306
01:03:24,524 --> 01:03:25,560
>> WHERE'S MY MONEY, MAGNUS?
1307
01:03:27,734 --> 01:03:29,909
>> WHERE IS MY MONEY?
1308
01:03:39,885 --> 01:03:41,093
YOU'RE NOT GETTING OUT OF HERE,
1309
01:03:41,093 --> 01:03:41,783
MAGNUS.
1310
01:03:41,783 --> 01:03:42,957
YOU'RE NOT GETTING OUT OF HERE
1311
01:03:42,957 --> 01:03:46,615
UNTIL I GET MY MONEY.
1312
01:03:46,615 --> 01:03:48,894
I'M NOT GONNA LET YOU SCREW ME.
1313
01:03:48,894 --> 01:03:50,896
THAT'S MY HARD-EARNED MONEY.
1314
01:03:50,896 --> 01:03:51,897
DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT
1315
01:03:51,897 --> 01:03:52,587
MEANS?
1316
01:03:52,587 --> 01:03:53,657
DO YOU?
1317
01:03:53,657 --> 01:03:55,590
>> LOWER YOUR VOICE, PLEASE.
1318
01:03:55,590 --> 01:03:58,765
MY HEAD.
1319
01:03:58,765 --> 01:04:03,563
>> YOU ARE VERY BAD PERSON!
1320
01:04:03,563 --> 01:04:10,708
>> I'M NOT A BAD PERSON.
1321
01:04:10,708 --> 01:04:12,020
>> RICKY RED?
1322
01:04:12,020 --> 01:04:13,884
RICKY RED?
1323
01:04:13,884 --> 01:04:16,024
>> RICKY RED?
1324
01:04:16,024 --> 01:04:16,680
HELLO.
1325
01:04:16,680 --> 01:04:17,508
HI, THERE.
1326
01:04:17,508 --> 01:04:18,475
ALL RIGHT.
1327
01:04:18,475 --> 01:04:19,856
SO, HAVE YOU, UM,
1328
01:04:19,856 --> 01:04:20,718
HAVE YOU PREPARED SOMETHING
1329
01:04:20,718 --> 01:04:21,409
FOR US?
1330
01:04:21,409 --> 01:04:22,859
YEAH, YEAH, I HAVE.
1331
01:04:22,859 --> 01:04:23,998
O.K., GREAT.
1332
01:04:23,998 --> 01:04:26,207
WHENEVER YOU'RE READY.
1333
01:04:26,207 --> 01:04:28,761
>> ALL RIGHT, THEN.
1334
01:04:28,761 --> 01:04:31,350
THERE, ALL RIGHT.
1335
01:04:31,350 --> 01:04:35,009
ALL RIGHT.
1336
01:04:35,009 --> 01:04:39,289
ALL RIGHT.
1337
01:06:30,089 --> 01:06:31,366
SCENE.
1338
01:06:31,366 --> 01:06:32,919
WOW.
1339
01:06:32,919 --> 01:06:34,473
THAT WAS REALLY GOOD.
1340
01:06:34,473 --> 01:06:35,405
>> YEAH?
1341
01:06:35,405 --> 01:06:36,371
THAT WAS... INTERESTING.
1342
01:06:36,371 --> 01:06:37,579
WOW.
1343
01:06:37,579 --> 01:06:38,580
>> WELL, THANK YOU, THAT REALLY
1344
01:06:38,580 --> 01:06:40,203
MEANS A LOT TO ME.
1345
01:06:40,203 --> 01:06:41,998
WOW, UM, O.K., COULD
1346
01:06:41,998 --> 01:06:43,447
YOU SHOW US YOUR TEETH?
1347
01:06:43,447 --> 01:06:46,036
LIKE, GIVE US A BIG SMILE.
1348
01:06:46,036 --> 01:06:47,313
>> I DON'T REALLY SHOW MY TEETH
1349
01:06:47,313 --> 01:06:48,452
WHEN I SMILE.
1350
01:06:48,452 --> 01:06:49,453
RIGHT, IT'S JUST THAT
1351
01:06:49,453 --> 01:06:50,454
THIS CHARACTER BITES SOMEONE,
1352
01:06:50,454 --> 01:06:52,077
SO WE KIND OF NEED TO SEE YOUR
1353
01:06:52,077 --> 01:06:52,698
TEETH.
1354
01:06:52,698 --> 01:06:56,564
>> ALL RIGHT.
1355
01:06:56,564 --> 01:07:00,533
UM, UM, O.K., O.K.
1356
01:07:00,533 --> 01:07:02,225
UH, AND HAVE YOU READ THE PART?
1357
01:07:02,225 --> 01:07:03,053
ARE YOU FAMILIAR WITH
1358
01:07:03,053 --> 01:07:04,020
THE SCRIPT?
1359
01:07:04,020 --> 01:07:05,228
>> YEAH, I HAVE.
1360
01:07:05,228 --> 01:07:06,229
I REALLY LIKE THE PART,
1361
01:07:06,229 --> 01:07:06,850
ACTUALLY.
1362
01:07:06,850 --> 01:07:07,678
I'VE ALWAYS BEEN PLAYING
1363
01:07:07,678 --> 01:07:08,955
BUSINESSMEN AND I REALLY RELISH
1364
01:07:08,955 --> 01:07:11,027
THE CHANCE OF PLAYING A VILLAIN.
1365
01:07:11,027 --> 01:07:12,718
UH, O.K., WELL, IT'S,
1366
01:07:12,718 --> 01:07:14,616
IT'S, ACTUALLY, THE, THE VILLAIN
1367
01:07:14,616 --> 01:07:15,997
PART'S FOR SOMEONE A BIT
1368
01:07:15,997 --> 01:07:16,998
YOUNGER.
1369
01:07:16,998 --> 01:07:18,034
AND WE ACTUALLY BROUGHT
1370
01:07:18,034 --> 01:07:20,139
YOU IN FOR THE BUSINESSMAN
1371
01:07:20,139 --> 01:07:20,760
CHARACTER.
1372
01:07:20,760 --> 01:07:21,727
YEAH, TO PLAY
1373
01:07:21,727 --> 01:07:22,728
THE BUSINESSMAN.
1374
01:07:22,728 --> 01:07:24,109
>> I LOOK A LITTLE BIT-- I LOOK
1375
01:07:24,109 --> 01:07:25,800
A LOT YOUNGER WITHOUT THE BEARD.
1376
01:07:25,800 --> 01:07:27,215
O.K.
1377
01:07:27,215 --> 01:07:33,704
UM, HMM.
1378
01:07:33,704 --> 01:07:37,708
O.K.
1379
01:07:37,708 --> 01:07:38,916
WELL, THANKS, THANKS FOR,
1380
01:07:38,916 --> 01:07:40,677
THANKS FOR COMING IN, THANK YOU.
1381
01:07:40,677 --> 01:07:41,678
>> A PLEASURE.
1382
01:07:41,678 --> 01:07:43,266
O.K., GREAT.
1383
01:07:43,266 --> 01:07:44,991
>> ALL RIGHT, YEAH, O.K.
1384
01:07:44,991 --> 01:07:45,992
HAVE A GOOD DAY.
1385
01:07:45,992 --> 01:07:46,821
>> THANKS A LOT, YEAH.
1386
01:07:46,821 --> 01:07:47,753
THANKS.
1387
01:07:47,753 --> 01:07:49,996
THANKS.
1388
01:08:31,452 --> 01:08:33,970
>> Magnus: ...10:30.
1389
01:08:33,970 --> 01:08:36,422
YEAH, THAT'S GREAT.
1390
01:08:36,422 --> 01:08:38,804
I REALLY APPRECIATE THAT.
1391
01:08:38,804 --> 01:08:41,047
THANKS.
1392
01:08:45,292 --> 01:08:46,812
GET UP.
1393
01:08:46,812 --> 01:08:50,160
HERE.
1394
01:08:50,160 --> 01:08:51,575
I JUST GOT YOU A MEETING WITH
1395
01:08:51,575 --> 01:08:52,404
SHANGHAI PLASTIC MOLDINGS
1396
01:08:52,404 --> 01:08:53,612
IN AN HOUR'S TIME, YOU BETTER
1397
01:08:53,612 --> 01:08:55,648
GET READY.
1398
01:08:55,648 --> 01:08:56,856
I SHOULD'VE DONE THIS WHEN I
1399
01:08:56,856 --> 01:08:59,237
FIRST MET YOU.
1400
01:08:59,237 --> 01:09:02,585
I'M NOT PROUD OF WHAT I'VE DONE.
1401
01:09:02,585 --> 01:09:05,002
>> YEAH, RIGHT.
1402
01:09:05,002 --> 01:09:09,145
>> WHAT, YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME?
1403
01:09:09,145 --> 01:09:10,698
RING 'EM.
1404
01:09:10,698 --> 01:09:14,702
IT'S GENUINE.
1405
01:09:16,566 --> 01:09:19,533
CRUSH MY NUTS IF I'M LYING.
1406
01:09:19,533 --> 01:09:20,742
>> YOU BETTER NOT BE JERKING ME
1407
01:09:20,742 --> 01:09:23,055
>> YOU BETTER NOT BE JERKING ME
AROUND.
1408
01:09:23,055 --> 01:09:31,753
AROUND.
1409
01:09:31,753 --> 01:09:37,690
WHERE'S MY SEWING KIT?
1410
01:09:37,690 --> 01:09:39,071
HOLD ON.
1411
01:09:39,071 --> 01:09:41,038
SHANGHAI PLASTIC MOLDINGS?
1412
01:09:41,038 --> 01:09:42,868
I TOLD YOU, MY PRODUCT IS
1413
01:09:42,868 --> 01:09:44,145
A TEXTILE PRODUCT.
1414
01:09:44,145 --> 01:09:46,423
WHAT USE IS A PLASTIC MOLDINGS
1415
01:09:46,423 --> 01:09:48,287
COMPANY, HUH?
1416
01:09:48,287 --> 01:09:50,219
>> RELAX.
1417
01:09:50,219 --> 01:09:51,428
PLASTIC MOLDING'S JUST WHAT THEY
1418
01:09:51,428 --> 01:09:53,948
STARTED WITH BACK IN THE '70S.
1419
01:09:53,948 --> 01:09:54,949
THEY'LL MAKE ANYTHING FOR YOU
1420
01:09:54,949 --> 01:09:58,055
NOW.
1421
01:09:58,055 --> 01:09:58,884
ALTHOUGH THEY STILL ARE
1422
01:09:58,884 --> 01:10:00,196
SHANGHAI'S PREMIUM MARITAL AID
1423
01:10:00,196 --> 01:10:02,750
MANUFACTURERS.
1424
01:10:02,750 --> 01:10:03,820
>> MARITAL AIDS?
1425
01:10:03,820 --> 01:10:06,271
>> YEAH, DILDOS, BUTT PLUGS,
1426
01:10:06,271 --> 01:10:07,617
RUBBER TWATS, THAT KIND OF
1427
01:10:07,617 --> 01:10:10,240
THING.
1428
01:10:18,386 --> 01:10:21,009
>> WHAT'S THAT SMELL?
1429
01:10:24,943 --> 01:10:27,809
WHAT'S THAT SMELL?
1430
01:10:27,809 --> 01:10:29,017
>> IT'S THE SMELL OF MY FINE
1431
01:10:29,017 --> 01:10:30,329
TOBACCO, JOHNSON.
1432
01:10:30,329 --> 01:10:32,262
>> THAT'S NOT TOBACCO, MAGNUS.
1433
01:10:32,262 --> 01:10:33,850
THAT'S ILLEGAL.
1434
01:10:33,850 --> 01:10:34,851
YOU SHOULD SERIOUSLY PUT THAT
1435
01:10:34,851 --> 01:10:35,921
OUT, WE COULD GET SERIOUSLY
1436
01:10:35,921 --> 01:10:42,755
BUSTED.
1437
01:10:42,755 --> 01:10:46,380
>>
1438
01:10:46,380 --> 01:10:49,003
>> MAGNUS...
1439
01:10:49,003 --> 01:10:50,004
IS THAT WHAT YOU'VE BEEN
1440
01:10:50,004 --> 01:10:53,456
SPENDING MY MONEY ON?
1441
01:10:53,456 --> 01:10:54,733
>>
1442
01:10:54,733 --> 01:10:58,943
>> IT IS, ISN'T IT?
1443
01:10:58,943 --> 01:11:01,326
HOW MUCH IS LEFT?
1444
01:11:01,326 --> 01:11:05,537
>> LET ME SEE.
1445
01:11:05,537 --> 01:11:06,779
NONE.
1446
01:11:06,779 --> 01:11:08,919
>> IS THAT SOME KIND OF JOKE?
1447
01:11:08,919 --> 01:11:09,920
COME ON, MAGNUS, WHERE IS
1448
01:11:09,920 --> 01:11:13,061
MY MONEY?
1449
01:11:13,061 --> 01:11:14,270
>> I WIRED IT TO A POLISH
1450
01:11:14,270 --> 01:11:15,719
DENTIST.
1451
01:11:15,719 --> 01:11:17,202
I'M HAVING NEW TEETH MADE FOR
1452
01:11:17,202 --> 01:11:20,034
OLIVE AND ME.
1453
01:11:20,034 --> 01:11:25,210
>> WHAT?
1454
01:11:25,210 --> 01:11:26,627
>> POLISH DENTISTS HAVE THE BEST
1455
01:11:26,627 --> 01:11:28,800
PRICES RIGHT NOW.
1456
01:11:28,800 --> 01:11:32,218
PRICES RIGHT NOW.
I DON'T KNOW WHY.
1457
01:11:32,218 --> 01:11:38,432
I DON'T KNOW WHY.
1458
01:11:38,432 --> 01:11:39,880
>> HOW CAN YOU SERIOUSLY LIVE
1459
01:11:39,880 --> 01:11:41,675
LIKE THIS, MAGNUS?
1460
01:11:41,675 --> 01:11:44,230
HAVE YOU NO SELF-RESPECT?
1461
01:11:44,230 --> 01:11:46,025
YOU, I MEAN, YOU ARE A CON
1462
01:11:46,025 --> 01:11:46,716
ARTIST!
1463
01:11:46,716 --> 01:11:48,200
>>
1464
01:11:48,200 --> 01:11:49,995
PASS US THAT COFFEE.
1465
01:11:53,309 --> 01:11:54,309
>> WHAT GOOD IS THAT GONNA
1466
01:11:54,309 --> 01:11:54,896
DO YOU?
1467
01:11:54,896 --> 01:11:56,242
>> IT'S MY THROAT.
1468
01:11:56,242 --> 01:11:57,623
COFFEE.
1469
01:11:57,623 --> 01:11:59,004
>> YOU KNOW WHAT?
1470
01:11:59,004 --> 01:12:03,008
YOU SERIOUSLY DISGUST ME.
1471
01:12:03,008 --> 01:12:05,700
>> GOD, IT'S MY THROAT.
1472
01:12:05,700 --> 01:12:07,046
>> JUST STRAIGHTEN YOURSELF OUT
1473
01:12:07,046 --> 01:12:08,565
BEFORE WE GO TO SHANGHAI PLASTIC
1474
01:12:08,565 --> 01:12:10,429
MOLDINGS, PLEASE.
1475
01:12:10,429 --> 01:12:12,638
>> I'M NOT COMING WITH YOU.
1476
01:12:12,638 --> 01:12:14,468
YOU'LL BE FINE.
1477
01:12:14,468 --> 01:12:16,159
MY HANDS HAVE GONE ALL TINGLY.
1478
01:12:16,159 --> 01:12:17,919
I FEEL REALLY WEIRD.
1479
01:12:17,919 --> 01:12:20,232
>> MAGNUS...
1480
01:12:20,232 --> 01:12:22,303
YOU'RE COMING WITH ME.
1481
01:12:22,303 --> 01:12:23,684
AND I'LL TELL YOU THE REASON WHY
1482
01:12:23,684 --> 01:12:25,099
YOU'RE COMING WITH ME.
1483
01:12:25,099 --> 01:12:27,722
BECAUSE "A," I DON'T TRUST YOU
1484
01:12:27,722 --> 01:12:29,137
FURTHER THAN I CAN THROW
1485
01:12:29,137 --> 01:12:32,244
A HIPPO, AND "B," YOU'RE GOING
1486
01:12:32,244 --> 01:12:33,590
TO PAY FOR MY PRODUCT.
1487
01:12:33,590 --> 01:12:35,799
>>
1488
01:12:35,799 --> 01:12:37,491
LISTEN, IF YOU WANT ME TO COME
1489
01:12:37,491 --> 01:12:39,527
WITH YOU, IT'S GONNA COST YOU
1490
01:12:39,527 --> 01:12:41,529
ANOTHER 500.
1491
01:12:41,529 --> 01:12:42,530
I'M REALLY RUNNING ON FUMES
1492
01:12:42,530 --> 01:12:43,531
HERE.
1493
01:12:43,531 --> 01:12:44,705
>> I'M NOT GIVING YOU ANOTHER
1494
01:12:44,705 --> 01:12:46,741
DIME.
1495
01:12:46,741 --> 01:12:47,984
>> I'M WORTH IT.
1496
01:12:47,984 --> 01:12:49,434
YOU'VE SEEN ME IN ACTION.
1497
01:12:49,434 --> 01:12:50,296
>> SERIOUSLY?
1498
01:12:50,296 --> 01:12:51,712
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
1499
01:12:51,712 --> 01:12:53,990
>> I'M HYPOGLYCEMIC.
1500
01:12:53,990 --> 01:12:56,510
WHEN DID I LAST EAT?
1501
01:12:57,752 --> 01:13:02,481
NEED SOMETHING TO EAT.
1502
01:13:02,481 --> 01:13:03,137
WHAT ARE THESE?
1503
01:13:03,137 --> 01:13:05,001
YUMMY POTATO CHIPS?
1504
01:13:05,001 --> 01:13:06,416
>> YEP.
1505
01:13:06,416 --> 01:13:08,107
>> JESUS!
1506
01:13:21,258 --> 01:13:24,883
>> MAGNUS?
1507
01:13:24,883 --> 01:13:29,405
MAGNUS.
1508
01:13:29,405 --> 01:13:31,614
MAGNUS?
1509
01:13:31,614 --> 01:13:32,407
SPEAK.
1510
01:13:32,407 --> 01:13:33,925
SPEAK, MAGNUS.
1511
01:13:33,925 --> 01:13:35,996
MAGNUS, MAGNUS.
1512
01:13:35,996 --> 01:13:38,517
MAGNUS, SPEAK, SPEAK!
1513
01:13:38,517 --> 01:13:39,725
OH, MY GOD, HELP.
1514
01:13:39,725 --> 01:13:41,416
HELP, HELP!
1515
01:13:41,416 --> 01:13:42,832
MAGNUS?
1516
01:13:42,832 --> 01:13:47,768
SPEAK.
1517
01:13:47,768 --> 01:13:50,771
HELP.
1518
01:13:50,771 --> 01:13:52,151
HELP, HELP.
1519
01:13:52,151 --> 01:13:54,671
SOMEONE CALL 9-1-1.
1520
01:13:54,671 --> 01:13:56,052
HELLO, HELLO, IS ANYONE
1521
01:13:56,052 --> 01:13:57,053
IN HERE? HELLO?
1522
01:13:59,020 --> 01:14:00,228
LISTEN, LISTEN, THERE'S A MAN,
1523
01:14:00,228 --> 01:14:01,333
HE'S HAVING A SERIOUS HEART
1524
01:14:01,333 --> 01:14:02,782
CONDITION IN THERE, AND I NEED
1525
01:14:02,782 --> 01:14:03,439
YOUR HELP.
1526
01:14:03,439 --> 01:14:05,406
CAN YOU PLEASE CALL 9-1-1?
1527
01:14:07,960 --> 01:14:11,170
MAGNUS?
1528
01:14:11,170 --> 01:14:17,280
>>
1529
01:14:17,280 --> 01:14:22,561
>> OPEN THE DOOR, MAGNUS.
1530
01:14:22,561 --> 01:14:26,945
WHAT ABOUT MY PRODUCT?
1531
01:14:26,945 --> 01:14:31,605
WHAT ABOUT MY BAGS?
1532
01:14:31,605 --> 01:14:32,744
WHAT ABOUT MY PANTS?
1533
01:14:32,744 --> 01:14:33,745
GO BACK DOWN INTO
1534
01:14:33,745 --> 01:14:34,434
THE ALLEYWAY.
1535
01:14:34,434 --> 01:14:35,505
WHEN I SEE YOU'RE THERE,
1536
01:14:35,505 --> 01:14:38,646
I'LL PUT 'EM OUTSIDE THE DOOR.
1537
01:14:38,646 --> 01:14:39,647
>> NO, JUST OPEN THE DOOR
1538
01:14:39,647 --> 01:14:40,441
IMMEDIATELY.
1539
01:14:40,441 --> 01:14:44,721
DO IT.
1540
01:14:52,626 --> 01:14:55,282
>> THE MAN IN 308 IS A DRUGGIE.
1541
01:14:55,282 --> 01:14:59,115
>> THE MAN IN 308 IS A DRUGGIE.
HE'S A SERIOUS DRUG USER.
1542
01:14:59,115 --> 01:15:10,264
HE'S A SERIOUS DRUG USER.
1543
01:15:10,264 --> 01:15:12,577
YOU LOOKED AT MY PRODUCT.
1544
01:15:12,577 --> 01:15:13,198
YEAH.
1545
01:15:13,198 --> 01:15:18,824
YOU'RE AN IDIOT.
1546
01:15:18,824 --> 01:15:24,416
>> I AM NOT AN IDIOT.
1547
01:15:24,416 --> 01:15:28,834
WHERE ARE MY PANTS?
1548
01:15:28,834 --> 01:15:30,041
WHERE ARE MY OTHER PANTS THAT
1549
01:15:30,041 --> 01:15:32,320
WERE ON THE BACK OF THE SOFA?
1550
01:15:32,320 --> 01:15:34,771
WERE ON THE BACK OF THE SOFA?
WHERE ARE MY SHOES?
1551
01:15:34,771 --> 01:15:39,707
WHERE ARE MY SHOES?
1552
01:15:39,707 --> 01:15:42,952
WHERE ARE MY SHOES?
GOOD LUCK, JOHNSON.
1553
01:15:42,952 --> 01:15:50,546
GOOD LUCK, JOHNSON.
1554
01:15:50,546 --> 01:15:53,618
GOOD LUCK, JOHNSON.
1555
01:15:56,379 --> 01:16:00,175
>>
1556
01:16:00,175 --> 01:16:05,353
>>
1557
01:16:28,100 --> 01:16:28,722
LADIES AND
1558
01:16:28,722 --> 01:16:31,725
GENTLEMEN, I'M HERE TO TELL YOU
1559
01:16:31,725 --> 01:16:36,005
THAT BEHIND EVERY OBJECT IS
1560
01:16:36,005 --> 01:16:38,870
THAT BEHIND EVERY OBJECT IS
A HISTORY...
1561
01:16:38,870 --> 01:16:46,602
A HISTORY...
1562
01:16:46,602 --> 01:16:48,638
AND IN THAT HISTORY IS AN
1563
01:16:48,638 --> 01:16:52,780
INVENTOR...
1564
01:16:52,780 --> 01:16:55,300
LIKE ME.
1565
01:16:55,300 --> 01:17:00,857
LIKE ME.
1566
01:17:06,967 --> 01:17:08,037
>> MR. JOHNSON, THEY'RE READY
1567
01:17:08,037 --> 01:17:09,521
FOR YOU.
1568
01:17:09,521 --> 01:17:11,730
PLEASE FOLLOW ME.
1569
01:17:14,768 --> 01:17:18,081
THIS WAY.
1570
01:17:18,081 --> 01:17:21,291
THIS WAY.
1571
01:17:21,291 --> 01:17:26,124
THIS WAY.
1572
01:17:42,243 --> 01:17:49,665
>>
1573
01:17:53,184 --> 01:17:55,947
>> MR. JOHNSON, THIS IS MR. LEE,
1574
01:17:55,947 --> 01:17:58,362
MS. CHUNG AND MR. LUENG.
1575
01:17:58,362 --> 01:18:00,398
MR. LUENG IS THE QUALITY CONTROL
1576
01:18:00,398 --> 01:18:01,710
SUPERVISOR FOR ALL OF SHANGHAI
1577
01:18:01,710 --> 01:18:04,162
PLASTIC MOLDINGS.
1578
01:18:04,162 --> 01:18:05,957
>> NI HAO, NI HAO.
1579
01:18:05,957 --> 01:18:06,751
>>
1580
01:18:06,751 --> 01:18:07,612
"PLEASE SIT DOWN,"
1581
01:18:07,612 --> 01:18:09,995
"PLEASE SIT DOWN,"
HE SAYS.
1582
01:18:09,995 --> 01:18:15,207
HE SAYS.
1583
01:18:15,207 --> 01:18:16,208
THANKS VERY MUCH FOR
1584
01:18:16,208 --> 01:18:18,555
HAVING ME.
1585
01:18:18,555 --> 01:18:21,800
>>
1586
01:18:21,800 --> 01:18:23,215
MIGHT I SUGGEST, UH, YOU GET TO
1587
01:18:23,215 --> 01:18:23,871
THE POINT?
1588
01:18:23,871 --> 01:18:24,871
REGRETTABLY, YOU WERE AN HOUR
1589
01:18:24,871 --> 01:18:26,184
LATE, AND THESE PEOPLE ARE VERY
1590
01:18:26,184 --> 01:18:26,874
BUSY.
1591
01:18:26,874 --> 01:18:28,496
>> YES, YES, LOOK, I'M VERY
1592
01:18:28,496 --> 01:18:29,773
SORRY ABOUT THAT, I WAS HAVING
1593
01:18:29,773 --> 01:18:31,085
SERIOUS PANT ISSUES.
1594
01:18:31,085 --> 01:18:33,536
>>
1595
01:18:33,536 --> 01:18:34,779
>> EXCUSE ME, EXCUSE ME?
1596
01:18:34,779 --> 01:18:35,952
WILL YOU PLEASE NOT TRANSLATE
1597
01:18:35,952 --> 01:18:37,851
THAT BIT ABOUT THE PANTS?
1598
01:18:37,851 --> 01:18:38,644
>> NO, I WASN'T.
1599
01:18:38,644 --> 01:18:39,818
I WAS TELLING THEM THAT YOU'RE
1600
01:18:39,818 --> 01:18:41,577
HERE TO DISCUSS THE MANUFACTURE
1601
01:18:41,577 --> 01:18:44,133
OF A HUMOROUS TEXTILE PRODUCT
1602
01:18:44,133 --> 01:18:45,410
FOR THE ENGLISH-SPEAKING MARKET.
1603
01:18:45,410 --> 01:18:48,724
FOR THE ENGLISH-SPEAKING MARKET.
RIGHT, I AM.
1604
01:18:48,724 --> 01:18:57,629
RIGHT, I AM.
1605
01:18:57,629 --> 01:19:01,081
GENTLEMEN AND LADY.
1606
01:19:01,081 --> 01:19:04,153
I AM HERE BEFORE YOUR EYES
1607
01:19:04,153 --> 01:19:06,465
TO DISCUSS MY NOVELTY PRODUCT.
1608
01:19:06,465 --> 01:19:07,846
IT HAS ALL THE MAKINGS OF A
1609
01:19:07,846 --> 01:19:10,124
CULT CLASSIC.
1610
01:19:10,124 --> 01:19:11,436
IT'S BOTH HUMOROUS AND
1611
01:19:11,436 --> 01:19:12,851
PRACTICAL, IT WILL APPEAL TO
1612
01:19:12,851 --> 01:19:14,197
THE COLLEGE JOCK AND THE
1613
01:19:14,197 --> 01:19:15,267
CLEAN FREAK ALIKE.
1614
01:19:15,267 --> 01:19:17,028
AND, AS I LIKE TO SAY,
1615
01:19:17,028 --> 01:19:18,754
IT'S NOVEL AND NEEDFUL.
1616
01:19:18,754 --> 01:19:20,445
IT'S GOING TO REVOLUTIONIZE
1617
01:19:20,445 --> 01:19:21,204
THE ENTIRE...
1618
01:19:21,204 --> 01:19:22,585
>> MR. JOHNSON, YOU DON'T NEED
1619
01:19:22,585 --> 01:19:23,827
TO SELL THEM ANYTHING.
1620
01:19:23,827 --> 01:19:24,690
THEY'RE ACTUALLY NOT THAT
1621
01:19:24,690 --> 01:19:25,795
INTERESTED IN THE IDEA OR
1622
01:19:25,795 --> 01:19:26,657
THE MARKET.
1623
01:19:26,657 --> 01:19:27,832
JUST SHOW THEM WHAT IT IS
1624
01:19:27,832 --> 01:19:31,352
JUST SHOW THEM WHAT IT IS
YOU WANT THEM TO MAKE.
1625
01:19:31,352 --> 01:19:35,184
YOU WANT THEM TO MAKE.
1626
01:19:35,184 --> 01:19:37,842
YOU WANT THEM TO MAKE.
1627
01:19:49,681 --> 01:19:53,616
>> GENTLEMEN AND LADY,
1628
01:19:53,616 --> 01:19:56,550
I PRESENT TO YOU...
1629
01:19:56,550 --> 01:20:00,934
THE ASS/FACE TOWEL.
1630
01:20:00,934 --> 01:20:02,210
NOT ONLY A NOVELTY ITEM,
1631
01:20:02,210 --> 01:20:03,557
BUT A VERY USEFUL ONE FOR
1632
01:20:03,557 --> 01:20:04,764
ANYONE WHO DOESN'T WANT TO WIPE
1633
01:20:04,764 --> 01:20:06,146
THEIR FACE WITH THE SAME SIDE OF
1634
01:20:06,146 --> 01:20:07,561
THE TOWEL THAT THEY USE TO WIPE
1635
01:20:07,561 --> 01:20:11,634
THEIR, UH... ASS.
1636
01:20:23,404 --> 01:20:24,681
>> DO THEY GET IT?
1637
01:20:24,681 --> 01:20:28,582
>> GET WHAT?
1638
01:20:28,582 --> 01:20:29,514
>> RIGHT.
1639
01:20:36,693 --> 01:20:38,109
>> UH, MS. CHUNG ASKS,
1640
01:20:38,109 --> 01:20:39,731
"HOW MANY UNITS?"
1641
01:20:39,731 --> 01:20:41,112
>> OH, ASK HOW MANY THEY CAN DO
1642
01:20:41,112 --> 01:20:46,911
FOR THIS...
1643
01:20:46,911 --> 01:20:50,915
AND...
1644
01:20:50,915 --> 01:20:52,123
THIS.
1645
01:20:52,123 --> 01:20:53,227
>> MR. JOHNSON, THIS ISN'T
1646
01:20:53,227 --> 01:20:54,850
A MOROCCAN BAZAAR.
1647
01:20:54,850 --> 01:20:56,023
THESE PEOPLE DEAL IN MONEY
1648
01:20:56,023 --> 01:20:57,680
TRANSFERS AND BANKER'S CHECKS.
1649
01:20:57,680 --> 01:20:58,853
YOU CAN'T JUST COME IN HERE
1650
01:20:58,853 --> 01:21:03,168
YOU CAN'T JUST COME IN HERE
AND ACT LIKE IT'S A PAWN SHOP.
1651
01:21:03,168 --> 01:21:08,380
AND ACT LIKE IT'S A PAWN SHOP.
1652
01:21:08,380 --> 01:21:14,904
AND ACT LIKE IT'S A PAWN SHOP.
1653
01:21:16,941 --> 01:21:17,907
>> IT'S THE REAL DEAL.
1654
01:21:17,907 --> 01:21:25,225
>>
1655
01:21:25,225 --> 01:21:26,088
>> HE BELIEVES YOU THAT
1656
01:21:26,088 --> 01:21:27,089
IT'S REAL, HE SAYS IT'S
1657
01:21:27,089 --> 01:21:28,469
OBVIOUSLY VERY EXPENSIVE.
1658
01:21:28,469 --> 01:21:30,264
>>
1659
01:21:30,264 --> 01:21:31,438
>> UH, DO YOU HAVE BUSINESS
1660
01:21:31,438 --> 01:21:32,473
CARDS?
1661
01:21:32,473 --> 01:21:33,716
>> YES, I SURE DO.
1662
01:21:33,716 --> 01:21:38,790
>> YES, I SURE DO.
I HAVE A BUNCH.
1663
01:21:38,790 --> 01:21:53,805
I HAVE A BUNCH.
1664
01:21:53,805 --> 01:21:56,912
>>
1665
01:21:56,912 --> 01:22:01,295
>> "NO NEED FOR THANKS."
1666
01:22:01,295 --> 01:22:06,645
>> "NO NEED FOR THANKS."
1667
01:22:40,264 --> 01:22:41,163
INITIAL SALES FOR
1668
01:22:41,163 --> 01:22:44,752
THE ASS/FACE TOWEL WERE SLOW,
1669
01:22:44,752 --> 01:22:46,168
BUT WHEN MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY
1670
01:22:46,168 --> 01:22:47,410
WAS PHOTOGRAPHED USING AN
1671
01:22:47,410 --> 01:22:49,205
ASS/FACE TOWEL ON THE BEACH OF
1672
01:22:49,205 --> 01:22:52,312
MALIBU... MY SALES IMMEDIATELY
1673
01:22:52,312 --> 01:22:53,865
TRIPLED.
1674
01:22:53,865 --> 01:22:54,797
THE TOWEL THEN BECAME
1675
01:22:54,797 --> 01:22:56,350
A SIGNATURE FEATURE OF HIPSTER
1676
01:22:56,350 --> 01:22:59,077
HOTEL CHAIN BO'S CHATEAU.
1677
01:22:59,077 --> 01:23:00,734
TO DATE, OVER SIX MILLION HAVE
1678
01:23:00,734 --> 01:23:01,942
BEEN SOLD, AND IT HAS BEEN
1679
01:23:01,942 --> 01:23:02,563
TRANSLATED INTO EIGHT
1680
01:23:02,563 --> 01:23:04,600
LANGUAGES.
1681
01:23:04,600 --> 01:23:05,601
THE SUCCESS OF THE ASS/FACE
1682
01:23:05,601 --> 01:23:07,879
TOWEL FINANCED THE CREATION OF
1683
01:23:07,879 --> 01:23:09,294
JOHNSON NOVELTIES.
1684
01:23:09,294 --> 01:23:14,023
JOHNSON NOVELTIES.
1685
01:23:17,993 --> 01:23:19,580
♪ WELL, THE PLANES CAME
1686
01:23:19,580 --> 01:23:20,581
WITH A DEFINITE ROAR
1687
01:23:20,581 --> 01:23:23,481
AND WE WERE ON THE RUN ♪
1688
01:23:23,481 --> 01:23:25,344
♪ EVERY MAN, WOMAN AND CHILD,
1689
01:23:25,344 --> 01:23:26,208
WELL, YOU BETTER HAVE
1690
01:23:26,208 --> 01:23:27,761
GRABBED YOUR GUN ♪
1691
01:23:27,761 --> 01:23:29,556
♪ YOU COULD RUN TILL YOU DIE,
1692
01:23:29,556 --> 01:23:30,867
LITTLE SOLDIER, DON'T MATTER
1693
01:23:30,867 --> 01:23:32,973
WHERE YOU COME FROM ♪
1694
01:23:32,973 --> 01:23:35,700
♪ DO WHAT THE GENERAL ORDERED,
1695
01:23:35,700 --> 01:23:37,909
KEEP MARCHING ON, OH ♪
1696
01:23:37,909 --> 01:23:40,325
♪ KEEP MARCHING ON-ON-ON
1697
01:23:40,325 --> 01:23:43,018
♪ KEEP MARCHING ON
1698
01:23:43,018 --> 01:23:44,778
♪ WELL, THE BULLETS FLY
1699
01:23:44,778 --> 01:23:45,882
AND I AIN'T LYIN',
1700
01:23:45,882 --> 01:23:48,402
BUT YOU KEEP MARCHING ON ♪
1701
01:23:48,402 --> 01:23:49,576
♪ YOU'RE GONNA
1702
01:23:49,576 --> 01:23:51,026
LOSE YOUR SHOES, WELL,
1703
01:23:51,026 --> 01:23:53,062
KEEP MARCHING ON ♪
1704
01:23:53,062 --> 01:23:55,168
♪ YOU GO AND KEEP ON MARCHING
1705
01:23:55,168 --> 01:23:56,376
TILL A-HALF OF YOUR HEAD
1706
01:23:56,376 --> 01:23:57,860
IS GONE ♪
1707
01:23:57,860 --> 01:24:00,344
♪ DO WHAT YOUR MAMA SAID
1708
01:24:00,344 --> 01:24:02,796
AND KEEP MARCHING ON, OH ♪
1709
01:24:02,796 --> 01:24:05,143
♪ KEEP MARCHING OH-OH-OH
1710
01:24:05,143 --> 01:24:07,456
♪ KEEP MARCHING ON
1711
01:24:07,456 --> 01:24:08,559
♪ AND I'M SINGING,
1712
01:24:08,559 --> 01:24:10,838
HEY... SISTER ♪
1713
01:24:10,838 --> 01:24:13,117
♪ HEY, SISTER♪
1714
01:24:13,117 --> 01:24:15,532
♪ HEY, BROTHER
1715
01:24:15,532 --> 01:24:17,155
>> ♪ HEY, BROTHER♪
1716
01:24:17,155 --> 01:24:19,537
>> ♪ KEEP MARCHING ON, ON
1717
01:24:19,537 --> 01:24:21,504
♪ KEEP MARCHING ON.
1718
01:24:21,504 --> 01:24:23,264
♪ KEEP MARCHING ON.
1719
01:25:05,478 --> 01:25:07,585
>> ♪ I WANNA RUN, RUN-RUN,
1720
01:25:07,585 --> 01:25:08,620
RUN AWAY ♪
1721
01:25:10,829 --> 01:25:12,762
♪ I WANNA RUN, RUN-RUN,
1722
01:25:12,762 --> 01:25:13,969
RUN AWAY ♪
1723
01:25:13,969 --> 01:25:19,010
RUN AWAY ♪
1724
01:25:22,289 --> 01:25:24,636
♪ RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY,
1725
01:25:24,636 --> 01:25:27,156
RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN AWAY ♪
1726
01:25:32,610 --> 01:25:35,302
♪ RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY
1727
01:25:35,302 --> 01:25:37,925
♪ RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN AWAY
1728
01:25:37,925 --> 01:25:43,172
♪ RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN AWAY
1729
01:25:48,143 --> 01:25:49,972
♪ I WANNA RUN, RUN, RUN,
1730
01:25:49,972 --> 01:25:51,284
RUN AWAY ♪
1731
01:25:53,665 --> 01:25:55,322
♪ I WANNA RUN, RUN, RUN,
1732
01:25:55,322 --> 01:25:56,634
RUN AWAY ♪
1733
01:25:56,634 --> 01:25:59,084
RUN AWAY ♪
1734
01:26:04,642 --> 01:26:07,231
♪ RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY
1735
01:26:07,231 --> 01:26:09,923
♪ RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN AWAY
1736
01:26:15,308 --> 01:26:17,965
♪ RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY
1737
01:26:17,965 --> 01:26:21,555
RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN AWAY ♪
1738
01:26:21,555 --> 01:26:24,213
♪ HEY, HEY!
1739
01:26:24,213 --> 01:26:29,529
♪ HEY, HEY!
1740
01:26:29,529 --> 01:26:31,702
♪ HEY!
1741
01:26:31,702 --> 01:26:34,430
♪ HEY!
98209
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