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1
00:00:06,070 --> 00:00:08,300
(scratching)
2
00:00:12,180 --> 00:00:13,610
Calvin.
3
00:00:14,410 --> 00:00:15,790
Calvin.
4
00:00:15,990 --> 00:00:16,800
Calvin!
5
00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:18,530
Yeah, what? What?
6
00:00:18,730 --> 00:00:19,700
What?
7
00:00:19,900 --> 00:00:22,490
Oh, I'm sorry, baby.
Did I wake you?
8
00:00:23,290 --> 00:00:27,070
You could've woke
the dead, Tina.
9
00:00:27,270 --> 00:00:28,910
Do you hear that scratching?
10
00:00:29,110 --> 00:00:30,940
(scratching)
What? That?
11
00:00:31,140 --> 00:00:33,210
Shh! Don't talk!
12
00:00:33,410 --> 00:00:36,420
(scratching)
That.
13
00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:39,020
I don't know. M-Maybe
it's a spider or something.
14
00:00:39,220 --> 00:00:41,500
Spiders don't make noise.
15
00:00:44,370 --> 00:00:46,990
All right, well, it sounds like
it's coming from the kitchen.
16
00:00:47,190 --> 00:00:49,130
It's got to be
Malcolm and Marty.
17
00:00:49,330 --> 00:00:50,860
At 5:00 in the morning?
18
00:00:51,060 --> 00:00:54,580
With all that legal weed
out there? Absolutely.
19
00:00:55,450 --> 00:00:56,540
I don't know, Calvin.
20
00:00:56,740 --> 00:00:58,570
It-it sounds like it
could be an animal.
21
00:00:58,770 --> 00:00:59,710
Could you just go look?
22
00:00:59,910 --> 00:01:01,470
Hey, I'll look
when I get up, okay?
23
00:01:01,670 --> 00:01:03,310
Oh, baby, I don't...
All right.
24
00:01:03,510 --> 00:01:04,980
(whimpers)
25
00:01:05,180 --> 00:01:06,810
(grunts)
(sighs)
26
00:01:07,010 --> 00:01:07,910
(scratching)
27
00:01:08,110 --> 00:01:09,600
Mm-mm, mm-mm,
mm-mm, no, no.
28
00:01:10,900 --> 00:01:11,850
Baby, please.
29
00:01:12,050 --> 00:01:13,350
I cannot sleep with that.
30
00:01:13,550 --> 00:01:14,690
Just-just go check it out.
31
00:01:14,890 --> 00:01:16,490
(sighs) Fine.
32
00:01:16,690 --> 00:01:18,060
I mean, you know...
33
00:01:18,260 --> 00:01:21,040
But once I brush my teeth,
that's usually it for me.
34
00:01:22,810 --> 00:01:24,060
(grumbling)
35
00:01:24,260 --> 00:01:27,700
So much for gender equality.
36
00:01:27,900 --> 00:01:29,840
Thank you, baby.
37
00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:31,140
CALVIN:
Whoa!
(crashing)
38
00:01:31,340 --> 00:01:32,670
What?!
39
00:01:32,870 --> 00:01:34,470
Get out! Get out of here!
What, what, what, what?
40
00:01:34,670 --> 00:01:35,740
Get out of here!
What, what?
(glass shattering)
41
00:01:35,940 --> 00:01:37,610
Oh, you picked the
wrong house tonight.
42
00:01:37,810 --> 00:01:38,540
Babe?
43
00:01:38,740 --> 00:01:39,810
Babe, you good?
44
00:01:40,010 --> 00:01:42,120
(crashing)
Give me back my slipper!
45
00:01:42,320 --> 00:01:43,520
Slipper? Oh. All right.
46
00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:45,320
Well, it sounds like you got it.
47
00:01:45,520 --> 00:01:47,470
(crashing)
48
00:01:49,310 --> 00:01:51,390
* Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood *
49
00:01:51,590 --> 00:01:52,910
* Welcome to the hood. *
50
00:01:57,950 --> 00:01:59,700
Oh. Oh.
51
00:01:59,900 --> 00:02:00,870
Oh, my God.
52
00:02:01,070 --> 00:02:03,040
What was it?
I don't know, baby.
53
00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:07,360
Either it was a large raccoon
or a small panda.
54
00:02:08,560 --> 00:02:10,980
Well, did you have
to make this big a mess?
55
00:02:11,180 --> 00:02:13,480
I didn't do it. That thing did.
56
00:02:13,680 --> 00:02:15,880
Look, babe, when I came in here,
that's when he saw me.
57
00:02:16,080 --> 00:02:17,320
And then we squared off, right?
58
00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:19,650
Now, he had eyes
as red as the devil.
59
00:02:19,850 --> 00:02:23,590
So then, so then I hit him with
the two-piece. Hey, hey. Hey.
60
00:02:23,790 --> 00:02:25,060
Hey. So then, but he's like,
61
00:02:25,260 --> 00:02:26,790
"Oh, what's up?
What's up with that?"
62
00:02:26,990 --> 00:02:29,460
Then I was like, "Oh!" So then,
so then he came at me, right?
63
00:02:29,660 --> 00:02:30,760
So then I grabbed him,
I was like, ugh,
64
00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:32,370
and I put him in a full nelson.
65
00:02:32,570 --> 00:02:33,730
And I was choking him,
he's like, "Aah!"
66
00:02:33,930 --> 00:02:34,970
And I was choking him. But then,
67
00:02:35,170 --> 00:02:36,670
but then he flipped me
back over.
68
00:02:36,870 --> 00:02:38,800
So then he started choking me,
and I was like, "Get off me."
69
00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:41,370
But his hands was too small
to go around my whole neck
70
00:02:41,570 --> 00:02:43,980
so he couldn't get
around my whole neck.
71
00:02:44,180 --> 00:02:45,340
So then I hit him
with the Ice Cube,
72
00:02:45,540 --> 00:02:46,610
I was like,
"Yo, we got a problem here?"
73
00:02:46,810 --> 00:02:48,110
Right? So then,
74
00:02:48,310 --> 00:02:49,480
then he came running at me.
75
00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:51,080
I grabbed him, I flipped him
around here,
76
00:02:51,280 --> 00:02:53,220
and I field-goaled him
out the front door.
77
00:02:53,420 --> 00:02:55,000
Whew.
78
00:02:57,770 --> 00:02:59,790
Oh, my God!
79
00:02:59,990 --> 00:03:03,500
There's footprints
in my lasagna!
80
00:03:03,700 --> 00:03:06,100
Well, what does
the pest control guy say?
81
00:03:06,300 --> 00:03:07,500
Well, nothing, babe.
82
00:03:07,700 --> 00:03:09,440
I'm still hearing
the hold music,
83
00:03:09,640 --> 00:03:11,990
but I ain't mad because
they playing the Whispers.
84
00:03:15,420 --> 00:03:16,460
Calvin.
85
00:03:17,460 --> 00:03:19,040
Can you call another company?
86
00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:21,710
Babe, I'm a half hour
invested on this one.
87
00:03:21,910 --> 00:03:24,320
If you can't get a pest
control guy on the phone,
88
00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:27,420
I'm calling a Realtor, and if
he answers first, we're moving.
89
00:03:27,620 --> 00:03:29,020
(stammering): Wait, hold on.
I'm not doing this.
90
00:03:29,220 --> 00:03:30,560
Whoa-whoa-whoa, bab-baby...
I'm not doing...
91
00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:31,720
Representative.
92
00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:36,260
Representative.
Representative.
93
00:03:36,460 --> 00:03:37,360
Agent.
94
00:03:37,560 --> 00:03:39,870
Operator.
95
00:03:40,070 --> 00:03:41,480
Person.
96
00:03:42,720 --> 00:03:43,770
Yes, English.
97
00:03:43,970 --> 00:03:46,040
Or Spanish? Nosotros!
98
00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:49,910
* *
99
00:03:50,110 --> 00:03:52,480
Don't mean to
be pest-imistic,
100
00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:53,680
but, uh...
101
00:03:53,880 --> 00:03:55,150
it was definitely a raccoon.
102
00:03:55,350 --> 00:03:58,580
So we're going to put down
like 16 bear traps?
103
00:03:58,780 --> 00:04:00,820
We could, if you sign
a waiver saying
104
00:04:01,020 --> 00:04:04,160
we're not responsible for
anybody losing a leg or a child.
105
00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:07,380
Well, we don't have a child,
so where do we sign?
106
00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:09,400
Tina, what are you doing?
107
00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:10,660
You're just throwing
all this food away?
108
00:04:10,860 --> 00:04:13,130
I'm not eating
raccoon-touched food.
109
00:04:13,330 --> 00:04:15,380
Have you ever seen
a raccoon wash his hands?
110
00:04:16,220 --> 00:04:17,370
They actually do.
111
00:04:17,570 --> 00:04:18,800
There's this great video
on YouTube where...
112
00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:20,470
Oh, oh, yeah,
I seen that.
113
00:04:20,670 --> 00:04:24,490
'Cause they look like little
people. They like... (humming)
114
00:04:25,660 --> 00:04:26,480
(both laugh)
115
00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:27,580
You mind if
I check inside?
116
00:04:27,780 --> 00:04:28,980
Yeah, yeah,
yeah, go ahead.
117
00:04:29,180 --> 00:04:30,180
Uh, look at all this
food you're wasting.
118
00:04:30,380 --> 00:04:31,380
You know, Tina,
119
00:04:31,580 --> 00:04:34,520
I recently
started composting.
120
00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:35,720
Yeah, I know.
121
00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:37,190
For a man
with a job,
122
00:04:37,390 --> 00:04:39,780
you spend a lot of time
digging in my garbage.
123
00:04:40,940 --> 00:04:43,600
Tina, did you
get my text?
124
00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:44,750
Probably.
125
00:04:45,510 --> 00:04:47,000
Child, I didn't look. What?
126
00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:49,300
(laughs)
127
00:04:49,500 --> 00:04:50,840
School's canceled today
'cause of the fires
128
00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:52,240
up in the mountains.
129
00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:53,670
Air quality is
unsafe for the kids.
Oh.
130
00:04:53,870 --> 00:04:56,380
That never happened
in Hickory Corners.
131
00:04:56,580 --> 00:04:59,080
We had closures for blizzards,
tornadoes, frogs.
132
00:04:59,280 --> 00:05:00,610
Frogs?
133
00:05:00,810 --> 00:05:04,130
After the tornadoes,
it would actually rain frogs.
134
00:05:04,900 --> 00:05:09,410
Gemma, where are you from?
The Book of Leviticus?
135
00:05:11,010 --> 00:05:13,110
We had really nice Octobers.
136
00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:16,030
I know today was
the day you were going to post
137
00:05:16,230 --> 00:05:19,260
the casting decisions for the
spring musical, but you'll...
138
00:05:19,470 --> 00:05:22,790
Wow, a raccoon
did all of this?
139
00:05:23,750 --> 00:05:24,900
Calvin helped.
140
00:05:25,100 --> 00:05:26,310
Hey.
141
00:05:26,510 --> 00:05:28,070
PEST CONTROL GUY:
Okay, it's looking like
142
00:05:28,270 --> 00:05:30,140
your point of entry
is your chimney.
143
00:05:30,340 --> 00:05:32,510
We can put a mesh cap
at the top to inhibit access.
144
00:05:32,710 --> 00:05:37,700
Ooh, let's put two in
for safety-- and electrify it.
145
00:05:38,470 --> 00:05:41,720
So this mesh thing
is gonna stop the raccoons?
146
00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:42,990
And Santa Claus.
147
00:05:43,190 --> 00:05:44,190
(laughs)
148
00:05:44,390 --> 00:05:46,060
'Cause, you see, 'cause...
149
00:05:46,260 --> 00:05:48,030
the chimney is where...
150
00:05:48,230 --> 00:05:49,900
that's where Santa comes down.
Yeah.
151
00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:53,370
Hilarious. I get it.
152
00:05:53,570 --> 00:05:55,430
Truth is, if they want in,
153
00:05:55,630 --> 00:05:57,370
they're gonna find
another access point.
154
00:05:57,570 --> 00:05:58,700
Best thing to do is
to figure out what's
155
00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:00,540
attracting them
in the first place.
156
00:06:00,740 --> 00:06:04,430
Some new food source around--
fruit trees, dumpsters?
157
00:06:07,030 --> 00:06:08,760
Dave!
158
00:06:12,270 --> 00:06:14,090
Dave?
159
00:06:14,290 --> 00:06:15,950
Do you know what
your compost is doing?
Ooh!
160
00:06:16,150 --> 00:06:18,170
I have been waiting
for you to ask me that.
161
00:06:19,610 --> 00:06:21,190
I'm returning
organic waste to the soil
162
00:06:21,390 --> 00:06:22,830
instead of letting
it rot in landfills.
163
00:06:23,030 --> 00:06:24,000
Well, guess what.
164
00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:25,530
It's attracting raccoons.
165
00:06:25,730 --> 00:06:28,200
Aw. You know, composting brings
166
00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:30,300
all the creatures together.
167
00:06:30,500 --> 00:06:34,140
Not "aw." One of them
broke into my house,
168
00:06:34,340 --> 00:06:36,380
and now I don't have
a left slipper.
169
00:06:36,580 --> 00:06:38,510
What am I supposed
to do with one slipper?
170
00:06:38,710 --> 00:06:39,380
Huh?
171
00:06:39,580 --> 00:06:40,880
Hello, Mr. Raccoon.
172
00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:42,570
Come get your other slipper!
173
00:06:43,230 --> 00:06:45,880
* *
174
00:06:46,080 --> 00:06:47,690
Mama, where's all the food?
175
00:06:47,890 --> 00:06:49,660
I'm not keeping any food
in this house
176
00:06:49,860 --> 00:06:51,890
after some rodent
trampled all over it.
177
00:06:52,090 --> 00:06:55,160
Well, actually, uh,
raccoons are not Rodentia,
178
00:06:55,360 --> 00:06:56,330
they are Carnivora.
179
00:06:56,530 --> 00:06:58,330
Which is kind of a misnomer
180
00:06:58,530 --> 00:07:00,000
because they're
omnivorous, so...
181
00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:01,630
(chuckling)
182
00:07:01,830 --> 00:07:04,150
Yo, Marty.
Read the room.
183
00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:08,690
Wait, so are you saying
there is no food in this house?
184
00:07:09,390 --> 00:07:11,310
Looks like you'll
have to eat at home.
185
00:07:11,510 --> 00:07:14,230
But we don't have
food at home.
186
00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:17,400
I mean, we knew this day
would come.
187
00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:21,400
You think you'll be ready
for it, but you're not.
188
00:07:23,210 --> 00:07:25,890
Okay, look, we're all going
to need food, all right?
189
00:07:26,090 --> 00:07:27,960
Why don't you guys
go pick up some takeout?
190
00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:29,230
Oh, okay.
MALCOLM: Okay.
191
00:07:29,430 --> 00:07:31,830
Got you, Mama.
Whatever you want. Uh...
192
00:07:32,030 --> 00:07:33,550
Credit card?
193
00:07:35,350 --> 00:07:36,330
It's our treat.
194
00:07:36,540 --> 00:07:37,720
Yeah, I'm sure.
195
00:07:39,820 --> 00:07:41,840
Hey.
196
00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:43,340
About those auditions
197
00:07:43,540 --> 00:07:44,940
for the spring musical.
198
00:07:45,140 --> 00:07:47,580
You know that seventh
grader Cooper Brockwell?
199
00:07:47,780 --> 00:07:49,880
You were probably wondering
if he's the same Brockwell
200
00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:52,790
as in the school's Brockwell
Performing Arts Center.
201
00:07:52,990 --> 00:07:54,400
I wasn't wondering.
202
00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:58,120
Oh, good.
203
00:07:58,320 --> 00:08:00,130
But he is.
204
00:08:00,330 --> 00:08:02,530
Oh, so wait a minute.
205
00:08:02,730 --> 00:08:05,430
Are you saying that I have
to cast this Brockwell kid
206
00:08:05,630 --> 00:08:07,300
because his parents
paid for the theater?
207
00:08:07,500 --> 00:08:08,600
Grandparents.
208
00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:10,720
His parents paid
for the library.
209
00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:14,540
And no, of course
I'm not saying that.
210
00:08:14,740 --> 00:08:16,540
You should cast
whoever's the best.
211
00:08:16,740 --> 00:08:17,760
Great.
212
00:08:19,030 --> 00:08:19,910
Was Cooper the best?
213
00:08:20,110 --> 00:08:21,710
Oh, no.
214
00:08:21,910 --> 00:08:24,280
I'm just glad you don't feel
any pressure to cast him
215
00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:25,950
just because, without
his grandfather,
216
00:08:26,150 --> 00:08:28,600
there wouldn't be
a musical at all.
217
00:08:29,940 --> 00:08:32,290
You know, now I'm feeling
a little pressure.
218
00:08:32,490 --> 00:08:34,740
No, don't, don't, don't.
219
00:08:35,610 --> 00:08:37,260
It is a nice theater,
though, isn't it?
220
00:08:37,460 --> 00:08:39,060
Oh, my God.
221
00:08:39,260 --> 00:08:43,400
(groans) It's always just one
thing after another with you.
222
00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:45,640
Remember when you installed
those solar panels?
223
00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:47,340
Yeah, I reduced
my carbon footprint
224
00:08:47,540 --> 00:08:49,340
and I cut my
utility bill in half.
225
00:08:49,540 --> 00:08:51,580
Wrong. You caused a blackout,
226
00:08:51,780 --> 00:08:53,850
and I had to stop a mob
from beating your ass.
227
00:08:54,050 --> 00:08:56,980
And what about when you
started collecting rainwater?
228
00:08:57,180 --> 00:08:58,220
We were in a drought.
229
00:08:58,420 --> 00:08:59,950
I decreased my
water consumption.
230
00:09:00,150 --> 00:09:02,690
And this neighborhood
was swarming with mosquitoes.
231
00:09:02,890 --> 00:09:05,390
The kid down the street
got bit in his eye.
232
00:09:05,590 --> 00:09:07,330
I had to stop his daddy
from beating your ass.
233
00:09:07,530 --> 00:09:09,190
Okay. Well, to be fair,
234
00:09:09,390 --> 00:09:12,460
that was the same guy
from the blackout, and...
235
00:09:12,670 --> 00:09:13,970
I think he has
anger issues.
236
00:09:14,170 --> 00:09:17,070
Okay.
(alarms blaring)
237
00:09:17,270 --> 00:09:19,300
Oh, look, it's one of
those emergency alerts.
238
00:09:19,500 --> 00:09:20,710
It says that there's a...
239
00:09:20,910 --> 00:09:22,840
mountain lion loose
in the neighborhood.
240
00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:25,110
Wait a second.
You guys got an alert?
241
00:09:25,310 --> 00:09:26,240
I didn't get an alert.
242
00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:27,980
(alarm blaring)
243
00:09:28,180 --> 00:09:30,600
It's telling us
to shelter in place.
244
00:09:31,470 --> 00:09:32,790
You all are getting this?
245
00:09:32,990 --> 00:09:35,600
It's only my phone
that doesn't care about me?
246
00:09:36,810 --> 00:09:38,660
Remain indoors until
Animal Control
247
00:09:38,860 --> 00:09:41,330
can find and
sedate the lion.
248
00:09:41,530 --> 00:09:42,860
Ha! You ain't got
to tell me.
249
00:09:43,060 --> 00:09:44,960
Yeah, with Black people,
you just need two words,
250
00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:47,900
"mountain" and "lion,"
and we ain't going out there.
251
00:09:48,100 --> 00:09:49,750
* *
252
00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:58,280
REPORTER: 100-year-old Bernice
Truck has always had a dream.
253
00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:00,910
There's a mountain lion
loose in the neighborhood,
254
00:10:01,110 --> 00:10:02,880
and all the local news
wants to talk about
255
00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:05,420
is a 100-year-old
lady who's skydiving.
256
00:10:05,620 --> 00:10:08,750
I mean, at this point,
what's she really risking?
257
00:10:08,950 --> 00:10:11,560
Baby, don't say that.
258
00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:12,560
Hold on.
259
00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:15,130
Grover's home.
260
00:10:15,330 --> 00:10:17,300
Our son is in
our house alone.
261
00:10:17,500 --> 00:10:19,930
No. What? You can't go
out there, Gemma.
262
00:10:20,130 --> 00:10:22,170
There's a mountain lion.
Are you crazy?
263
00:10:22,370 --> 00:10:24,620
See? That's why they
need those alerts.
264
00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:27,970
Okay, Gemma, look,
let's not panic.
265
00:10:28,170 --> 00:10:29,310
All right, he's fine.
266
00:10:29,510 --> 00:10:30,740
He's in the house.
The doors are shut.
267
00:10:30,940 --> 00:10:32,680
Grover knows not to open
the door for strangers.
268
00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:34,310
What about mountain lions?
269
00:10:34,510 --> 00:10:35,680
Okay, well, Gemma,
if Grover doesn't know
270
00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:37,080
not to open the door
for a mountain lion,
271
00:10:37,280 --> 00:10:38,630
we have bigger problems.
272
00:10:41,940 --> 00:10:44,170
Grover. Grover, can you hear me?
273
00:10:45,940 --> 00:10:47,130
Hey, Mom.
274
00:10:47,330 --> 00:10:48,990
There's a mountain lion
on the loose.
275
00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:51,030
I know. I got
an alert on my phone.
276
00:10:51,230 --> 00:10:53,030
You got to be kidding me.
277
00:10:53,230 --> 00:10:55,980
Yeah-- my phone wants me dead.
278
00:10:57,150 --> 00:10:58,370
Grover.
279
00:10:58,570 --> 00:10:59,810
Stay inside.
280
00:11:00,010 --> 00:11:03,630
Don't open the door
for any person... or animal.
281
00:11:04,590 --> 00:11:06,380
We'll be over as soon as we can.
282
00:11:06,580 --> 00:11:08,110
So, first I don't get to go
283
00:11:08,310 --> 00:11:09,650
to school because of a fire,
284
00:11:09,850 --> 00:11:11,650
and now I have to hang out
in my house
285
00:11:11,850 --> 00:11:14,550
without supervision
for who knows how long?
286
00:11:14,750 --> 00:11:17,140
I know, sweetie.
287
00:11:19,270 --> 00:11:21,310
Poor little thing.
288
00:11:25,350 --> 00:11:27,530
If this is
the House of the Dragon,
289
00:11:27,730 --> 00:11:29,000
then where's the dragon?
290
00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:32,020
This is nothing but ladies
taking baths.
291
00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:37,560
Mom would definitely say
this is not appropriate.
292
00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:41,530
But Mom's not here.
293
00:11:43,430 --> 00:11:47,320
And we will also have the
Carolina pulled pork sandwich.
294
00:11:47,520 --> 00:11:49,720
Oh, yeah, bread on the side
so it doesn't get soggy.
295
00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:52,020
Yeah, uh, bread on the side.
296
00:11:52,220 --> 00:11:53,430
Extra sauce,
also on the side.
297
00:11:53,630 --> 00:11:56,130
Extra sauce, please.
Mm-hmm.
298
00:11:56,330 --> 00:11:58,100
On the side.
On the side.
299
00:11:58,300 --> 00:11:59,680
Don't let it
touch the bread.
300
00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:03,300
And we will also have
the full rack of ribs.
301
00:12:03,500 --> 00:12:06,370
Oh, is that more
Memphis style or Texas style?
302
00:12:06,570 --> 00:12:10,510
They are pig style, Marty.
Okay.
303
00:12:10,710 --> 00:12:15,400
Oh, ask if their coleslaw
is more soupy or dry.
304
00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:18,830
Would you hold on
for one second, please?
305
00:12:19,940 --> 00:12:21,500
No, I will not
ask them that.
306
00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:24,620
They about to spit
in our food, man.
307
00:12:24,820 --> 00:12:27,290
You cannot be this
high maintenance, Marty.
308
00:12:27,490 --> 00:12:29,010
You are not pretty enough.
309
00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:32,030
They don't know
how pretty I am.
Please.
310
00:12:32,230 --> 00:12:33,770
(phone beeping)
(groans)
311
00:12:33,970 --> 00:12:35,900
Oh, great, see, now that's
Mama calling.
312
00:12:36,100 --> 00:12:37,400
And she is worse than you are.
313
00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:38,640
Man, I ain't got time for this.
314
00:12:38,840 --> 00:12:40,010
I'm gonna just
finish this order.
315
00:12:40,210 --> 00:12:42,340
Hello? Yes, that
will be all, please.
316
00:12:42,540 --> 00:12:45,110
Oh, no, ooh,
ask if their lemon pie
317
00:12:45,310 --> 00:12:47,700
has more whipped
cream or meringue.
318
00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:51,380
I'm so sorry.
The call dropped.
319
00:12:51,580 --> 00:12:53,290
I just saw you hang up.
320
00:12:53,490 --> 00:12:55,670
That's why it dropped.
321
00:12:57,610 --> 00:13:01,060
Okay, well, please call me
back when you get this, Malcolm.
322
00:13:01,260 --> 00:13:04,200
CALVIN: I mean, them mountain
lions is getting close.
323
00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:05,960
Look, babe, that's
the Johnsons' house.
324
00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:07,230
No.
What?
325
00:13:07,430 --> 00:13:09,380
Uh, the Black Johnsons.
326
00:13:10,690 --> 00:13:12,040
I can tell because they leave
327
00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:13,710
their Christmas lights
up all year long.
328
00:13:13,910 --> 00:13:17,280
Mm. I kind of like it.
It keeps me in the spirit.
329
00:13:17,480 --> 00:13:21,430
It's March. There should
not be a Santa on that roof.
330
00:13:23,930 --> 00:13:25,350
Somebody's getting hangry.
331
00:13:25,550 --> 00:13:28,190
Dave, I don't know
what the hell that means,
332
00:13:28,390 --> 00:13:29,290
but I am not in the mood.
333
00:13:29,490 --> 00:13:32,410
I am hungry and I'm angry.
334
00:13:34,810 --> 00:13:35,860
I'm starving, too.
335
00:13:36,060 --> 00:13:37,800
You know what?
336
00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:39,900
Some of those boxes
you threw out were sealed.
337
00:13:40,100 --> 00:13:42,600
I'm getting some Triscuits.
Ooh.
What?
338
00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:44,500
Will you see if there's
anything sweet in there?
339
00:13:44,700 --> 00:13:46,870
Like a...
Like a scone or an clair?
340
00:13:47,070 --> 00:13:49,210
David, I'm going to the trash.
341
00:13:49,410 --> 00:13:51,290
I'm not popping by the bakery.
342
00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:01,520
Something knocked
over our trash cans.
343
00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:04,420
Oh, no. The raccoon is back.
344
00:14:04,620 --> 00:14:06,120
Oh, no, this was way
bigger than a raccoon.
345
00:14:06,320 --> 00:14:09,340
Oh, my God.
It's the mountain lion.
346
00:14:10,150 --> 00:14:11,400
Before we all die,
347
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:13,930
I just want to make
it clear that,
348
00:14:14,130 --> 00:14:16,320
Dave, this is
all your fault!
That's right.
349
00:14:19,290 --> 00:14:20,210
How so?
350
00:14:20,410 --> 00:14:22,070
Because your composting
351
00:14:22,270 --> 00:14:24,410
attracted the raccoons,
which made Tina
352
00:14:24,610 --> 00:14:28,210
throw out our food,
which drew the mountain lion
353
00:14:28,410 --> 00:14:29,780
right to our front door.
Mm-hmm.
354
00:14:29,980 --> 00:14:31,580
I should've let
that man beat your ass.
355
00:14:31,780 --> 00:14:33,640
You should've.
356
00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:36,150
I can't leave our son alone.
357
00:14:36,350 --> 00:14:38,390
I don't care what's out there.
I'm going to be with my son.
358
00:14:38,590 --> 00:14:39,990
All right, honey. Wait.
359
00:14:40,190 --> 00:14:41,430
(helicopter blades whirring)
360
00:14:41,630 --> 00:14:44,350
(man speaks indistinctly
over speaker)
361
00:14:53,460 --> 00:14:54,470
What were they saying?
362
00:14:54,670 --> 00:14:56,470
Whatever it was,
it translates to
363
00:14:56,670 --> 00:14:58,530
"Get your butt back
in the house, woman."
364
00:15:00,660 --> 00:15:02,850
Look, Grover's alone.
365
00:15:03,050 --> 00:15:05,470
He must be so scared.
366
00:15:07,170 --> 00:15:08,770
Okay.
367
00:15:09,570 --> 00:15:10,790
Now let's find out
368
00:15:10,990 --> 00:15:13,910
why I'm not allowed
to watch Euphoria.
369
00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:18,580
* *
370
00:15:23,820 --> 00:15:24,840
Yo...
371
00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:27,270
What is with
all the helicopters?
372
00:15:27,470 --> 00:15:28,970
It's got to be a police chase.
373
00:15:29,170 --> 00:15:30,940
I hope it's still on TV.
374
00:15:31,140 --> 00:15:32,180
(laughs)
375
00:15:32,380 --> 00:15:34,930
I hope it's not us.
376
00:15:38,970 --> 00:15:40,020
Yo.
377
00:15:40,220 --> 00:15:41,720
Look at all this trash.
378
00:15:41,920 --> 00:15:44,860
Uh-oh. Somebody's gonna have
to clean all this up.
379
00:15:45,060 --> 00:15:46,220
Not it.
380
00:15:46,420 --> 00:15:48,330
Hold on, hey,
hey, hey, hey.
381
00:15:48,530 --> 00:15:50,260
Are you really going
to be that juvenile?
382
00:15:50,460 --> 00:15:51,600
(sighs)
383
00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:52,600
Yes.
384
00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:53,600
No!
385
00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:54,780
Malcolm!
386
00:15:55,380 --> 00:15:56,970
Hey, hey. I got the food.
387
00:15:57,170 --> 00:15:58,470
Are you crazy?
388
00:15:58,670 --> 00:16:00,570
Why didn't you answer
the phone when I called you?
389
00:16:00,770 --> 00:16:02,370
There's a mountain lion
loose out there.
390
00:16:02,570 --> 00:16:04,180
Out where?
I didn't get an alert.
391
00:16:04,380 --> 00:16:07,660
Oh, it's not just me. Yes.
392
00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:10,120
Where's your brother?
393
00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:11,450
He's out there cleaning
up the garbage.
394
00:16:11,650 --> 00:16:13,320
Oh, my God. Calvin,
go get my baby.
395
00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:14,320
I'm on it.
396
00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:15,350
I'll go with you, Pop.
397
00:16:15,550 --> 00:16:16,820
Oh, no, you won't. Uh-uh.
398
00:16:17,020 --> 00:16:18,070
You could get killed.
399
00:16:19,070 --> 00:16:20,060
I'll go.
400
00:16:20,260 --> 00:16:21,190
Yeah, go ahead, Dave.
Go, go.
401
00:16:21,390 --> 00:16:23,580
Go!
402
00:16:24,710 --> 00:16:26,060
Daddy!
403
00:16:26,260 --> 00:16:27,630
Don't let me go out like this!
404
00:16:27,830 --> 00:16:29,680
Oh.
405
00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:33,870
I've never been to Japan.
I've never whitewater rafted.
406
00:16:34,070 --> 00:16:36,660
There's two or three more
Avatars coming out.
407
00:16:38,030 --> 00:16:39,880
Well, what do you do
with a mountain lion?
408
00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:42,150
I think you're supposed
to punch it in the nose.
409
00:16:42,350 --> 00:16:43,280
That's a shark.
410
00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:45,220
DAVE:
Okay. All right.
411
00:16:45,420 --> 00:16:47,050
Uh, stay perfectly still.
412
00:16:47,250 --> 00:16:48,690
That's a T. rex.
413
00:16:48,890 --> 00:16:50,460
Well, I'm hearing
a lot of noes.
414
00:16:50,660 --> 00:16:51,890
Why don't you
throw out some ideas?
415
00:16:52,090 --> 00:16:53,060
Okay, okay.
416
00:16:53,260 --> 00:16:54,830
Marty, what you got in the bag?
417
00:16:55,030 --> 00:16:57,560
It's a Carolina
pulled pork sandwich.
418
00:16:57,760 --> 00:16:59,850
Bread on the side,
sauce on the side.
419
00:17:01,080 --> 00:17:02,930
You are your mama's son.
420
00:17:03,140 --> 00:17:05,000
All right, you know what?
421
00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:07,810
I got this. Okay? Come on.
422
00:17:08,010 --> 00:17:11,040
All right, everybody
just stay still.
(growling)
423
00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:12,840
Hey, big cat.
424
00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:15,810
Hey there, Mr. Lion.
425
00:17:16,010 --> 00:17:18,320
How you doing?
You want some barbecue?
426
00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:19,380
(roaring)
427
00:17:19,580 --> 00:17:22,790
Whoa!
(groans) Mama. Okay.
428
00:17:22,990 --> 00:17:25,820
N-Nice smile.
Nice smile. I like it. Okay.
429
00:17:26,020 --> 00:17:29,260
All right. It's good barbecue.
Yummy, yummy, yummy.
430
00:17:29,460 --> 00:17:31,560
Okay... You eat meat, right?
431
00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:35,200
You're not one of those
vegan L.A. lions, are you?
432
00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:36,900
Go! Get in there!
433
00:17:37,100 --> 00:17:38,640
We haven't tried this
particular place,
434
00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:40,590
but it did get
four stars on Yelp.
435
00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:43,810
It's a mountain lion,
not a food critic.
436
00:17:44,010 --> 00:17:45,960
Okay.
437
00:17:48,830 --> 00:17:50,550
Go, go, go!
Shut the door, go shut it!
438
00:17:50,750 --> 00:17:51,920
Go shut the door!
439
00:17:52,120 --> 00:17:53,390
Whoo!
Oh!
440
00:17:53,590 --> 00:17:54,890
Whew.
441
00:17:55,090 --> 00:17:56,520
We got him!
442
00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:59,690
Don't mess with the dynamic duo.
443
00:17:59,890 --> 00:18:01,130
Duo?
444
00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:03,600
Dave, I went face to face
with a mountain lion.
445
00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:05,510
All you did was shut the door.
446
00:18:07,350 --> 00:18:09,170
Oh, my God, Daddy.
447
00:18:09,370 --> 00:18:10,640
You saved my life.
448
00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:14,520
You guys are my Blackman
and Robin.
449
00:18:16,890 --> 00:18:20,600
If the TV news comes by,
you got to say that.
450
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:23,950
Which one am I?
451
00:18:24,150 --> 00:18:25,930
* *
452
00:18:31,470 --> 00:18:33,230
REPORTER:
...where the mountain
lion was sedated
453
00:18:33,430 --> 00:18:35,790
and will be released
back into the wild.
454
00:18:35,990 --> 00:18:37,200
Coming up after the break,
455
00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:41,550
a 100-year-old woman dies
in a skydiving accident.
456
00:18:44,190 --> 00:18:46,170
And there you go,
little bro.
457
00:18:46,370 --> 00:18:48,070
Oh.
Now, just so you know,
458
00:18:48,270 --> 00:18:49,710
uh, I wanted to
come out there
459
00:18:49,910 --> 00:18:51,040
and save you,
but, uh, you know,
460
00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:52,610
Mama wouldn't let me.
461
00:18:52,810 --> 00:18:54,410
Aw. It's okay, Malcolm.
462
00:18:54,610 --> 00:18:56,660
Sometimes fear immobilizes you.
463
00:18:59,730 --> 00:19:01,970
I said Mama wouldn't let me.
464
00:19:02,740 --> 00:19:05,120
It's okay to be afraid
of lions, big brother.
465
00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:06,670
I still look up to you.
466
00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:12,630
Grover, don't you
want any food?
467
00:19:12,830 --> 00:19:15,350
Thanks, Mom, but...
468
00:19:17,150 --> 00:19:18,740
I'm good.
469
00:19:18,940 --> 00:19:22,440
Poor kid must
have been worried sick.
Aw.
470
00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:25,710
Look, I know today
has been crazy, and...
471
00:19:25,910 --> 00:19:27,040
we didn't get a chance to talk
472
00:19:27,250 --> 00:19:28,750
about the whole
school musical thing.
473
00:19:28,950 --> 00:19:31,280
Oh, it's fine. Today reminded
me of what's really important.
474
00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:34,250
Don't worry about casting
that Brockwell kid.
475
00:19:34,450 --> 00:19:36,850
You're in charge.
You cast whoever you want.
476
00:19:37,050 --> 00:19:38,260
Oh, thank you.
477
00:19:38,460 --> 00:19:39,960
But I totally
understand, you know,
478
00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:41,430
you're under
a lot of pressure,
479
00:19:41,630 --> 00:19:43,930
so I will put Cooper
in the musical.
480
00:19:44,130 --> 00:19:47,700
He can be townsperson
number two.
481
00:19:47,900 --> 00:19:49,100
Townsperson number two?
482
00:19:49,300 --> 00:19:51,070
His only line is,
"Here comes Shrek."
483
00:19:51,270 --> 00:19:53,320
But it's your call.
484
00:19:54,120 --> 00:19:55,470
(mouths)
485
00:19:55,670 --> 00:19:58,280
Hey, Dave. I know I'm
hard on you sometimes, but
486
00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:00,410
you really stepped up
out there today.
487
00:20:00,610 --> 00:20:01,850
Thanks for having my back.
488
00:20:02,050 --> 00:20:04,550
That's what best friends
are for. And you know what?
489
00:20:04,750 --> 00:20:07,690
I am going to share
some of the fruits
490
00:20:07,890 --> 00:20:09,150
of my composting with you.
491
00:20:09,350 --> 00:20:10,590
Grew these in my garden.
492
00:20:10,790 --> 00:20:12,360
Uh...
493
00:20:12,560 --> 00:20:13,360
I'm not going
to eat a strawberry
494
00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:15,630
you grew in the trash.
495
00:20:15,830 --> 00:20:17,750
You're missing out.
496
00:20:23,420 --> 00:20:25,040
It's so... It's so...
497
00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:26,550
It's so good.
498
00:20:28,990 --> 00:20:30,210
(disposal crunching)
499
00:20:30,410 --> 00:20:32,310
What? You're not gonna
compost that?
500
00:20:32,510 --> 00:20:34,080
Captioning sponsored byCBS
501
00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:35,880
and TOYOTA.
502
00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:37,700
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
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