All language subtitles for Batman S02E46 A Riddling Controversy.DVDVRip.NonHI.en.WB

When last we saw our
beleaguered battlers...

they were slowly sinking in a
bitter batter of Riddler quicksand.

A grim and gritty
end awaits them...

unless something awfully
good happens awfully fast.

Holy Titanic, Batman. We're
going down for the last time.

Don't be a pessimist, Robin.

Many of those who survived that tragedy did
so by remaining calm and treading water...

- until help arrived.
- But this is quicksand.

I know, Robin.

But I seem to recall a recent
report on jungle survival...

which indicated that
many victims of quicksand...

- are victims because of their own panic.
- Not doing a lot for my nerves.

The specific gravity of quicksand
approximates that of water.

If we remain calm
and motionless...

we shouldn't sink much
farther than your lower lip.

- It's working, Batman.
- Yes.

One thing worries me, though,
how long can we keep floating?

We won't have to
float long, old chum.

If our experimental Heel-and-toe
Bat-rockets perform as well as they should.

Experimental Heel-and-toe
Bat-rockets? Haven't been tested yet.

Let's not put off till tomorrow
what we can do today, Robin.

As I begin the countdown...

slowly reach for the Heel-and-toe
Bat-rocket controls in your utility belt.

Remember, any sudden movement...

will disturb our equilibrium, and
we can't afford to sink much further.

Now, on the count of zero...

- activate your Bat-rockets.
- Roger.

Zero minus five...

zero minus four...

zero minus three...

zero minus two...

zero minus one.

Zero.

Later at the
Riddler's hideout...

in the soon to be opened
Noman Jigsaw Puzzle Factory...

the magic of electronics provides the
Riddler and his band of malevolent yeoman...

with a fascinating account
of their latest criminal coup.

All of Gotham City
is aghast today...

at the daring daylight robbery
in Gotham City Square Park...

in which $1 million of charity funds
accumulated in Batman's honor...

was snatched from the hands of
the poor by the light-fingered Riddler.

- Light-fingered?
- He and his henchmen...

Yes, that's what I am.
Light-fingered, nimble, quick.

Wonderful.

In a joint statement
issued just minutes ago...

Commissioner Gordon
and Batman and Robin...

promised an intensified search for the
perpetrators of this shameless crime...

and the speedy recovery
of the charity funds.

The following riddle left
at the scene of the crime...

provides their only clue.

"When is an eagle's
nest blessed best?"

That mealy-mouth faker.

Issued a joint statement with
Batman and Robin, did he?

Well, he knows and we know...

that the Caped Crusaders are
defunct, departed, demised, dead.

What if he isn't lying?

- What if Batman and Robin are...?
- Alive?

Impossible, dear Anna Gram.

Even if it were possible,
it couldn't matter less.

One more cunning caper and I'll have the
prize of Professor Charm's demolecularizer.

Then let them send the
regiment of Batmen against me.

When is an eagle's
nest blessed best?

Seems to me that any nest is most
blessed when there are little ones in it.

- Yes.
- Or nest eggs.

- Riddler is after a nest egg.
- Which leads me to speculate...

that he intends to strike an eagle's
nest somewhere here in Gotham City.

- Do you agree, Robin?
- I agree.

But there hasn't been an
eagle in Gotham City in 75 years.

Except in a zoo.

Perhaps not, Chief O'Hara...

but I know of at
least one eagle's nest.

Where's that, Batman?

A nightclub.

High atop the Gotham City
State Building known as the Aerie.

Of course, the
Aerie or eagle's nest.

A favorite watering place
for Gotham City's elite.

And a perfect target
for an aquiline attack.

Aquiline.

That's a very descriptive
word, Commissioner Gordon.

- Are you acquainted with its etymology, Robin?
- Aquiline. Of or like an eagle.

- From aquila, Latin for eagle.
- Yes.

And what Latin eagle
now lives, resides...

or nests here in Gotham City?

Anthony Aquila, the exiled
dictator from South America.

And a multimillionaire who's rumored
to keep at least $1 million in cash...

in his wall safe at all times.

That must be it, Batman.

How could the Riddler
resist such a treasure.

There's treasure at both ends
of the rainbow, commissioner.

While Robin and I dash to Anthony
Aquila's palatial penthouse apartment...

you and your men in
blue protect the area.

An ingenious tactic.

Thank you, commissioner.

And good luck to all of us.

Meanwhile, in Anthony Aquila's
palatial penthouse reproduction...

of his former plantation home...

the Riddler and his bearers
lurk in the underbrush.

Ha, ha. There it is,
you nearsighted nitwits.

The answer to a
hard heart's dream.

Don't stand there staring
at it. The loot sack, knaves.

Ha.

Fill it. Quickly.

Riddler, come out of
the bush and surrender.

As a duly deputized
peace officer...

I order you to drop that
sack and give yourself up.

Impossible.

Fifteen feet of
lethal quicksand.

They sure don't look
defunct to me, Riddler.

Or demised, departed and dead.

How?

- How did they survive?
- Right was on our side, that's how.

Get them.

- The loot sack, Riddler.
- And then we'll talk about the money...

- you took from the poor and needy.
- No, we don't, Boy Wonder.

Because you and your deputized friend
are going to watch me walk out of here.

Follow me and I'll show you why.

At ease, old chum.

I suspect Riddler's prisoner
is Senor Aquila himself.

Brilliant deduction. Hold this.

Yes, the eagle himself
caged like a big bird.

And, Batman, his life is
in your hands. Thank you.

I prepared this tricky cage in
case the news report was true...

and you two showed up.

In mere moments, an explosive
charge inside that ticking green box...

will send Senor Aquila
and his palatial penthouse...

higher than any
eagle has ever flown.

- Unless?
- Unless you and junior here...

unlock the secret to these battling
bars and disarm the bomb in time.

Well, adiós, amigos.

Better get to work. Ta-ta.

Are we going to let them
walk out just like that?

We have no choice, Robin.

Señor Aquila has many friends in his home
and we cannot risk an international incident.

I suppose you're right.

This particular puzzle cage doesn't seem to
conform with the usual puzzle cage pattern.

Some of the medieval puzzle cages were
designed so that all the intersecting rods...

were dependent upon the
access of only one supporting rod.

Disengaging that one rod...

- unlocks the entire cage.
- Stand clear, Robin.

Curious, but
decidedly an explosive.

"To whom it may concern.

If the tail fits, wear it."

There you are, professor.

Three million dollars.

I must admit, Mr. Riddler,
you are a man of your word.

Where do we go to pick
up the demolecularizer?

Oh, I have it with
me at all times.

- This is the demolecularizer?
- Mm-hm.

You want me to pay $3 million
for an 89-cent pencil flashlight?

That 89 cents pencil flashlight,
as you call it, Mr. Riddler...

is, in reality, a highly
sophisticated weapon...

which took a
lifetime to develop.

Powerful enough to disrupt the
molecular structure of matter...

yet so simply designed...

that it can be recharged by plugging
it in any household electrical outlet.

How does it work?

Um...

Watch that, uh, green derby...

on that chair over there.

Wow.

It's gone.

Disappeared.

- That thing really works.
- As I said it would.

Make it come back now.

It isn't yet possible.

I haven't even began work on the
molecular storer for lack of funds.

Well, now you have $3 million...

and I have Gotham
City right by the throat.

Get Commissioner
Gordon on the phone.

He should be the first to know.

Another crisis, commissioner?

A rather enigmatic phone
call from the Riddler.

Suggesting that we keep our
eye on Marshall Coley's statue.

Do you think he would
dare desecrate the statue...

of our revered war hero
right here in Coley Square?

A life of crime has worn the Riddler's moral
fiber to a frayed strand, commissioner.

He may have little respect for the
memory of the great Marshall Coley.

- This could be another of Riddler's ruses.
- Quite true, Robin.

Holy Houdini.

Great slithering snakes.

The Marshall, he's gone.

Uncanny.

Careful, Chief O'Hara.

Whatever unknown force was employed in
dematerializing Marshall Coley's statue...

may have left a contaminating
residue on the pedestal.

Begorra, you're right.
Thanks, Caped Crusader.

Someone here called "Batman"?

Yes. I'm Batman.

Telegram.

Another Riddler-gram.

It's an ultimatum.

"Unless Gotham City is
declared an open city...

and all criminal statutes
rescinded within two hours...

police headquarters will disappear as surely
and as quickly as Marshall Coley's statue."

That swaggering peacock.

Oh, he's only bluffing.

I'm afraid not, chief.

Listen to this.

"If the city fathers refuse to capitulate
after police headquarters is gone...

building after building will
disappear until they do."

To confound us further, the
telegram ends with a riddle.

"What is it that travels on
all fours in the morning...

on two legs at noon,
and three at twilight?

If you intend to follow me, add
the answer to the other three."

What can we do, Batman?

It saddens me, commissioner...

but I just don't know.

Gosh, Batman. I'm sure
hung-up on this riddle.

I'll help you just as soon as I collate
these figures for the remote Bat Computer.

Now, if my original premise was correct
and that machine has done a man's job...

Man's job.

Man's job.

Man. That's it, Batman.

Man travels on all fours
in the morning of his life...

or as an infant.

And on two legs at
noon or as an adult.

And with a cane or three
legs in the twilight of his life.

Congratulations, Robin.

Now let's concentrate on the
last part of Riddler's challenge.

"If you intend to follow me, add
the answer to the other three."

We'll select the keywords from
each of the first three riddles.

Page, banquet...

eagle's nest and man.

For instance, the letter P in the word
"page" is the 16th letter in the alphabet.

Using numerical positions in the
alphabet as a common denominator...

we then add the number two
for banquet and five for eagles...

And 13 for man.

And the total?

- Thirty-six.
- Thirty-six.

Thirty-six inches in
a yard or three feet.

And who has three feet to you?

No one.

Or no man.

I seem to recall a recent announcement
of a factory opening by that name.

Robin, activate the
remote Bat Computer again.

"Noman Jigsaw Puzzle Factory."

- On the corner of Shady Glade and Fifth.
- Excellent.

- Commissioner?
- Yes, Batman.

Could you arrange for the immediate delivery
of four 100-pound sacks of sodium dichloride...

to the Batcopter?

I'll explain later.

Consider it done. Anything else?

Yes. Do not, I repeat, do not
capitulate to any of Riddler's demands...

until you hear from me
under any circumstances.

You have my word
on that too, Batman.

Good.

What are we gonna do with four 100-pound
sacks of sodium dichloride, Batman?

Checkmate Riddler. Hopefully.

While the Caped Crusaders
race against approaching doom...

their impatient adversary frets
away the remaining minutes.

How can you lamebrains
play cards in a time like this?

Oh, gee, Riddler. Honey,
what else is there to do?

Turn the television on.

That fatheaded police commissioner
has little less than half an hour...

before he starts looking
for a new headquarters.

Chief O'Hara, I'm Bud Furillo
of the Gotham City Herald.

Is there anything I can tell my
readers about your investigation?

Well, we've moved every
piece of furniture in this building.

We've looked under very
rug, but nothing could be found.

What is it that you and your
elite squad are looking for?

Well, we don't exactly know.

But we'll keep right on
looking till the very last second.

Thank you, chief.

Poor Chief O'Hara, knocking himself
out looking all over the building...

for the demolecularizer when it's
hidden in the commissioner's office.

- It is?
- When did you manage to do that?

On my way back from Marshall Coley Square I
plugged it into an ordinary electrical outlet...

behind the commissioner's couch. If
the commissioner follows my instructions...

and issues a capitulation
proclamation in precisely 4:55 p.m...

I'll call him and tell him how to
deactivate the automatic trigger.

- How?
- Simple.

Turn the wall switch
to the off position.

Meanwhile, the Dynamic
Duo wings across the city...

with their cargo of
sodium dichloride.

The moment is almost at hand now
when the city must announce its decision.

Capitulation will amount to official
sanction of wanton lawlessness.

Standing fast will
prompt unholy destruction.

We understand that Commissioner
Gordon has refused to leave the building.

Wonderful.

Let him go down
with his building.

There's very
little time left now.

No time to use the stairs.
We'll have to try the Bat-rope.

Stand clear.

Our telephoto lens
is providing the view...

of police headquarters
which you see on your screen.

Except for
Commissioner Gordon...

Chief O'Hara and his elite
bomb squad, the building is empty.

All we can do is watch and wait.

Watch and wait, Gotham
City. There's more to come.

As the seconds tick away...

the clouds above police
headquarters seemed to be darkening...

as though a storm were imminent.

Just five seconds to go. Four...

three, two...

one.

- What happened?
- The demolecularizer.

It didn't work.

I knew it was a
cheap flashlight.

Flashlight.

Flashlight!

- Try again.
- Didn't your mother ever tell you...

- not to play with electricity?
- You two, how did you do it?

The supercharged electrical
power of that lightning...

neutralized the
effect of your weapon.

How did you know the lightning
would strike at the right time?

We arranged for it.

Cloud seeding.

With 400 pounds
of sodium dichloride.

Fortunately, my
calculations proved correct.

As usual, your riddles
led us right to you.

You've made the mistake of
being predictable yourselves...

with your legendary
window entrances.

Riddle me this.

When is a floor...

like a puzzle?

Help! Batman!

- Nice catch, chief.
- Let go of me, you blue-footed baboon.

I'll bet she's the
toughest one of the bunch.

- She's the only one still kicking.
- Ow!

Coming forward voluntarily
with the stolen charity money...

should tip the scales of
justice in your favor, professor.

No man can live with the wails of
the hungry children in his conscience.

Professor, when you've
paid your debt to society...

you'll be able to continue
your scientific studies...

under the wing of the
Gotham City Science Institute.

I don't know how to
thank you, Batman...

- for arranging my membership.
- You can thank our friend Bruce Wayne.

Mr. Wayne persuaded
the membership...

to lower the customary
educational requirements.

Robin, we should take this
money to the Wayne Foundation...

- before the close of business hours.
- Roger.

Amazing man.

Do you know who is
under that mask of his?

To ask, professor, who he is...

is nowhere near as important
as where he is at all times.