Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:04,453 --> 00:00:07,389
( theme music playing )
2
00:00:59,809 --> 00:01:00,842
What?
3
00:01:00,877 --> 00:01:02,477
Mr. De Palma,
my name's Goodwin.
4
00:01:02,512 --> 00:01:04,112
I'm starting today.
5
00:01:04,146 --> 00:01:05,246
Oh, yeah?
6
00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:06,697
Okay, Mr. Goodwin,
7
00:01:06,732 --> 00:01:09,467
let me give you
a couple of tips here.
8
00:01:09,501 --> 00:01:12,637
You'll get cab 607
when it's ready.
9
00:01:12,671 --> 00:01:14,338
All right?
Now, you listen to me.
10
00:01:14,373 --> 00:01:16,474
We can get along very nicely
11
00:01:16,508 --> 00:01:19,443
if you remember
these three things.
12
00:01:19,478 --> 00:01:22,496
One: Keep your bookings high.
13
00:01:22,531 --> 00:01:25,834
Two: Call me at least
24 hours ahead of time
14
00:01:25,868 --> 00:01:27,468
if you're going to miss work
15
00:01:27,502 --> 00:01:29,971
and three, and
most importantly:
16
00:01:30,005 --> 00:01:34,309
There is a certain word that I
never want to hear around here.
17
00:01:34,343 --> 00:01:36,127
What word is that, Mr. De Palma?
18
00:01:36,161 --> 00:01:38,463
This is a certain word
that I hate
19
00:01:38,498 --> 00:01:42,334
more than any word
in the entire English language
20
00:01:42,368 --> 00:01:43,585
and it is a word
21
00:01:43,619 --> 00:01:46,921
that I never want
to hear around here.
22
00:01:46,955 --> 00:01:51,426
What's the word
I never want to hear
around here?
23
00:01:54,847 --> 00:01:57,081
You see how well they know
24
00:01:57,115 --> 00:02:00,151
I don't want
to hear that word?
25
00:02:00,185 --> 00:02:04,172
The word is "accident."
26
00:02:04,206 --> 00:02:05,423
You got that?
27
00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:06,824
Got it.
28
00:02:06,859 --> 00:02:08,476
Now, you can do
whatever you want.
29
00:02:08,511 --> 00:02:11,946
You want to peddle dope, you
want to be a white slaver--
30
00:02:11,980 --> 00:02:14,182
anything you want,
that's your business.
31
00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:17,185
If you ever come up
to me and say to me
32
00:02:17,220 --> 00:02:22,390
that you had a you-know-what
in one of my cabs,
33
00:02:22,425 --> 00:02:26,027
I'm going to rip your head off
and use it as a radiator cap.
34
00:02:26,061 --> 00:02:27,045
You got that?
35
00:02:27,079 --> 00:02:28,279
I understand.
36
00:02:28,314 --> 00:02:30,364
Nice to have you aboard.
37
00:02:32,435 --> 00:02:33,435
Okay.
38
00:02:35,237 --> 00:02:36,370
Hi, everybody.
39
00:02:36,405 --> 00:02:37,705
ELAINE: TONY:
Hi, John. Hey, John.
40
00:02:37,740 --> 00:02:38,907
How you doing, man?
Fine.
41
00:02:40,075 --> 00:02:41,409
Hi, Louie.
42
00:02:41,444 --> 00:02:42,577
Burns...
43
00:02:44,446 --> 00:02:45,847
Where's the rest?
44
00:02:45,881 --> 00:02:47,531
Uh, that's all there is, Louie.
45
00:02:47,566 --> 00:02:48,933
You drove around for ten hours
46
00:02:48,967 --> 00:02:50,835
and that's all you
got to show for it?
47
00:02:50,869 --> 00:02:54,239
What do you do, put a quarantine
sign in the window?
48
00:02:54,273 --> 00:02:56,825
I'm... I'm sorry, uh...
49
00:02:56,859 --> 00:02:59,293
I'll try harder next time, okay?
50
00:03:01,447 --> 00:03:03,247
You know something, Burns?
51
00:03:03,281 --> 00:03:07,117
You are, without a doubt,
the worst cabby I ever had.
52
00:03:07,152 --> 00:03:09,871
One more night--
just one more time--
53
00:03:09,905 --> 00:03:11,873
you come dragging in here
54
00:03:11,907 --> 00:03:14,776
with that Howdy Doody
face of yours
55
00:03:14,810 --> 00:03:17,779
and change for a quarter
in your booking envelope
56
00:03:17,813 --> 00:03:19,848
and I'm telling you,
so help me...
57
00:03:19,882 --> 00:03:21,282
What? Ow!
58
00:03:21,316 --> 00:03:22,150
ELAINE:
Louie, what's wrong?
59
00:03:22,184 --> 00:03:23,518
ALEX:
Get him a glass of water.
60
00:03:23,552 --> 00:03:25,520
Hey, you want
to sit down?
61
00:03:25,554 --> 00:03:27,155
It's okay, it's okay.
62
00:03:27,189 --> 00:03:29,157
It's that heartburn again.
63
00:03:29,191 --> 00:03:31,292
BOB:
You sure it's only
heartburn, Louie?
64
00:03:31,326 --> 00:03:34,345
Ow! Whatever it is,
I don't like it.
65
00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:36,747
Hey, you want to go
upstairs and lie down?
66
00:03:36,782 --> 00:03:37,748
( exhales sharply )
67
00:03:37,783 --> 00:03:39,150
No, I'm all right.
It's going away.
68
00:03:39,184 --> 00:03:41,786
Have you been getting
these pains a lot?
69
00:03:41,820 --> 00:03:43,621
Yeah, for about
a month now.
70
00:03:43,655 --> 00:03:46,057
Hey, Louie, don't you think
you ought to see a doctor?
71
00:03:46,091 --> 00:03:49,226
What, see a doctor
for a simple...
72
00:03:49,261 --> 00:03:52,129
gut-wrenching pain?
73
00:03:52,164 --> 00:03:54,131
Yeah. Maybe I'd better,
I'd better go see one now.
74
00:03:54,166 --> 00:03:55,366
ALEX:
Yeah, I think
you should.
75
00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:56,551
Here, let me
help you.
76
00:03:56,585 --> 00:03:57,552
That's okay,
you guys.
77
00:03:57,586 --> 00:03:58,553
I can take care
of him.
78
00:03:58,587 --> 00:03:59,754
I'll get
your coat, Louie.
79
00:03:59,788 --> 00:04:01,422
I hope you feel
better, Louie.
80
00:04:01,456 --> 00:04:02,356
Take it easy.
81
00:04:02,391 --> 00:04:03,391
Thanks.
82
00:04:05,394 --> 00:04:06,277
Here you go, Louie.
83
00:04:06,311 --> 00:04:07,362
Thanks, Burns.
84
00:04:07,396 --> 00:04:08,363
Sure you're okay?
85
00:04:08,397 --> 00:04:09,563
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I'm okay, I'm okay.
86
00:04:09,598 --> 00:04:10,898
Hey, you want me
to drive you?
87
00:04:10,932 --> 00:04:12,450
No, no, no. Listen, Burns.
88
00:04:12,484 --> 00:04:14,085
Huh?
Thanks for your concern.
89
00:04:14,119 --> 00:04:15,153
Oh, that's
all right.
90
00:04:15,187 --> 00:04:17,588
And, you know, about
what I was saying before,
91
00:04:17,622 --> 00:04:19,690
you know, about your bookings
92
00:04:19,724 --> 00:04:21,025
and about how I was
going to fire you
93
00:04:21,060 --> 00:04:22,193
if you had another bad night...
94
00:04:22,227 --> 00:04:23,261
Yeah, Louie.
95
00:04:23,295 --> 00:04:24,795
Don't forget it.
96
00:04:34,523 --> 00:04:35,856
( sighing )
97
00:04:35,891 --> 00:04:38,859
I really appreciate you guys
coming in to visit me.
98
00:04:38,894 --> 00:04:40,561
Aw, how could
we not come
99
00:04:40,595 --> 00:04:43,331
after you sent us
that cute little note?
100
00:04:43,365 --> 00:04:47,618
"Please come and
see me before I die."
101
00:04:47,653 --> 00:04:51,422
Louie, Louie, Louie, look, it's
just an exploratory operation.
102
00:04:51,457 --> 00:04:53,824
I mean, they just want
to take a look and see
if everything's okay.
103
00:04:53,859 --> 00:04:54,892
Call it whatever you want,
104
00:04:54,927 --> 00:04:56,695
they're cutting me up
and going inside.
105
00:04:56,729 --> 00:04:59,464
Once they're in there,
who knows what's gonna happen?
106
00:04:59,498 --> 00:05:01,365
Louie, I can understand
what you're worried about,
107
00:05:01,399 --> 00:05:03,100
but the way the doctor
explained it to us,
108
00:05:03,134 --> 00:05:04,335
it's just routine,
that's all.
109
00:05:04,369 --> 00:05:06,370
Maybe for them it is,
but not for me.
110
00:05:06,404 --> 00:05:09,674
I'm scared-- I never been
in a hospital before.
111
00:05:09,708 --> 00:05:10,407
Sure you have.
112
00:05:10,442 --> 00:05:12,393
You were born,
weren't you?
113
00:05:12,428 --> 00:05:13,728
As a matter of fact,
114
00:05:13,763 --> 00:05:17,432
I was delivered on a kitchen
table by a midwife.
115
00:05:17,466 --> 00:05:19,133
It was the only room
that had any heat.
116
00:05:19,167 --> 00:05:22,370
JOHN:
Wow, a kitchen table!
117
00:05:22,405 --> 00:05:24,372
Well, half
the kitchen table.
118
00:05:24,407 --> 00:05:27,241
Dad was eating dinner
on the other half.
119
00:05:30,562 --> 00:05:32,229
TONY:
Hey, Louie.
120
00:05:32,263 --> 00:05:34,031
How come your mother's not here?
121
00:05:34,066 --> 00:05:36,967
I didn't want to worry her,
so I didn't tell her about it.
122
00:05:37,002 --> 00:05:39,904
She thinks I'm out of town,
seeing you fight.
123
00:05:39,938 --> 00:05:41,072
No kidding.
124
00:05:41,106 --> 00:05:42,740
Who'd I fight?
125
00:05:42,774 --> 00:05:44,892
Some kid from Mexico.
126
00:05:44,926 --> 00:05:45,476
How'd I do?
127
00:05:45,511 --> 00:05:46,461
He knocks you out
128
00:05:46,495 --> 00:05:48,345
in the second round.
129
00:05:48,380 --> 00:05:51,149
Yeah, them Mexican guys
are tough.
130
00:05:51,183 --> 00:05:54,535
Anybody want
some chocolates?
131
00:05:54,569 --> 00:05:55,536
No, no,
thanks. No.
132
00:05:55,570 --> 00:05:57,405
Oh, no, thanks,
I don't eat sugar.
133
00:05:57,439 --> 00:05:59,107
I try to eat only
natural things.
134
00:05:59,141 --> 00:06:01,892
How'd you like a sack of dirt?
135
00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:08,316
Louie, did you say
chocolate candy?
136
00:06:08,350 --> 00:06:09,350
Yeah, have one.
137
00:06:09,385 --> 00:06:10,818
Thank you
very much.
138
00:07:02,353 --> 00:07:04,455
I said, "Have one."
139
00:07:04,489 --> 00:07:06,791
Oh, you said, "Have one"?
140
00:07:06,825 --> 00:07:09,860
I thought you said, "Leave one."
141
00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:14,382
I'm afraid you'll all
have to leave now.
142
00:07:14,416 --> 00:07:15,934
Oh, hey, listen, Louie,
take it easy now.
143
00:07:15,968 --> 00:07:17,151
Everything's
gonna be fine.
144
00:07:17,185 --> 00:07:18,486
Louie, if you don't
make it back
145
00:07:18,521 --> 00:07:19,854
to the garage,
we'll understand.
146
00:07:19,889 --> 00:07:21,188
Bye.
147
00:07:21,223 --> 00:07:22,757
Hey, Lou, I hope
you feel better.
148
00:07:22,791 --> 00:07:23,925
See you in a day
or two, all right?
149
00:07:23,959 --> 00:07:24,926
Thanks.
150
00:07:24,960 --> 00:07:25,927
Good-bye, Louie.
151
00:07:25,961 --> 00:07:26,928
( mutters )
152
00:07:26,962 --> 00:07:27,929
Alex?
Yeah.
153
00:07:27,963 --> 00:07:29,680
Can I speak to you
for a second, please?
154
00:07:29,714 --> 00:07:31,833
Well, the nurse did
ask us to leave, Louie.
155
00:07:31,867 --> 00:07:33,384
I know, but this is
something really important.
156
00:07:33,419 --> 00:07:34,985
It won't take long.
157
00:07:35,020 --> 00:07:35,903
Okay.
158
00:07:35,937 --> 00:07:40,207
I just want to talk to you
about life and death and God.
159
00:07:41,610 --> 00:07:43,578
Good, then I won't
have to sit down.
160
00:07:43,612 --> 00:07:45,045
Yeah?
161
00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:46,714
Alex...
162
00:07:46,748 --> 00:07:47,715
Yeah.
163
00:07:47,749 --> 00:07:49,983
Now that the others are gone,
164
00:07:50,018 --> 00:07:52,420
I got to be honest with you.
165
00:07:52,454 --> 00:07:54,972
I'm not just scared,
I'm terrified.
166
00:07:55,007 --> 00:07:55,840
Louie, Louie, Louie, now look,
167
00:07:55,874 --> 00:07:57,174
you got to try to relax.
You understand?
168
00:07:57,209 --> 00:07:58,542
How can I relax?
169
00:07:58,576 --> 00:08:01,112
This could be the end for me.
170
00:08:01,146 --> 00:08:03,264
Tell me something, Alex.
171
00:08:03,298 --> 00:08:05,499
Are you...
are you a religious man?
172
00:08:05,533 --> 00:08:07,835
Yeah, in a way
I am, yeah.
173
00:08:07,870 --> 00:08:09,103
Good.
174
00:08:09,138 --> 00:08:12,540
Then you'll understand
what I'm about to do.
175
00:08:16,378 --> 00:08:17,578
God...
176
00:08:20,816 --> 00:08:22,450
It's Louie...
177
00:08:22,484 --> 00:08:24,285
Louie De Palma.
178
00:08:26,889 --> 00:08:31,358
I know it's been a long time
since you heard from me.
179
00:08:31,393 --> 00:08:34,596
I'm kind of out of
practice at praying,
180
00:08:34,630 --> 00:08:39,300
but I just thought I... I felt
like I had to talk to you now.
181
00:08:39,334 --> 00:08:41,202
By the way,
this is Alex Rieger.
182
00:08:41,236 --> 00:08:43,137
He's a friend of mine.
183
00:08:43,171 --> 00:08:45,406
Say hello to God, Alex.
184
00:08:46,858 --> 00:08:48,292
No, Louie, listen,
I don't think, I...
185
00:08:48,327 --> 00:08:49,126
Say hello.
186
00:08:49,160 --> 00:08:51,179
He hasn't got all day.
187
00:08:53,282 --> 00:08:55,616
Hello, there.
188
00:08:55,650 --> 00:08:57,118
Listen, I-I
just wanted
189
00:08:57,152 --> 00:09:01,805
Alex here as a witness
to what I'm about to say.
190
00:09:04,075 --> 00:09:06,510
Look, God...
191
00:09:06,545 --> 00:09:09,447
I know I ain't been no saint
192
00:09:09,481 --> 00:09:12,450
and I've done some pretty
rotten things in my life.
193
00:09:12,484 --> 00:09:13,600
Alex can back me up on that.
194
00:09:13,635 --> 00:09:14,702
Tell him, Alex.
195
00:09:14,736 --> 00:09:16,204
Huh? Oh, Louie,
196
00:09:16,238 --> 00:09:18,072
I don't
think I...
Go on, tell him the truth.
197
00:09:20,892 --> 00:09:25,096
Well, um... he's not
your best work.
198
00:09:29,034 --> 00:09:30,167
Thanks.
199
00:09:32,037 --> 00:09:37,458
Look, God, I want to make
a deal with you.
200
00:09:37,493 --> 00:09:42,963
If you can arrange it so that
I live through this operation,
201
00:09:42,998 --> 00:09:46,334
I'll be the best person
I can be...
202
00:09:47,702 --> 00:09:50,504
A whole new Louie De Palma--
203
00:09:50,538 --> 00:09:51,839
kind...
204
00:09:51,873 --> 00:09:54,742
generous...
205
00:09:54,776 --> 00:09:56,277
honest.
206
00:09:57,679 --> 00:09:59,881
What do you say, God?
207
00:09:59,915 --> 00:10:01,883
Is it a deal?
208
00:10:01,917 --> 00:10:06,120
Look... I tell you what.
209
00:10:06,155 --> 00:10:08,422
You send me a sign.
210
00:10:08,456 --> 00:10:10,424
Let me see...
211
00:10:10,458 --> 00:10:11,759
I got it.
212
00:10:11,794 --> 00:10:15,063
Unless a bolt of lightning
shoots through that window
213
00:10:15,097 --> 00:10:17,631
in the next five seconds,
214
00:10:17,666 --> 00:10:19,466
I'll consider it a deal.
215
00:10:29,527 --> 00:10:32,797
Well, I guess you got
yourself a deal, huh?
216
00:10:32,831 --> 00:10:37,634
Yeah, and I'm going
to stick by it.
217
00:10:37,669 --> 00:10:39,303
Time to go, Mr. De Palma.
218
00:10:39,338 --> 00:10:40,671
Oh, hey, listen, Louie,
just take it easy now.
219
00:10:40,705 --> 00:10:41,738
Everything is gonna
be all right.
220
00:10:41,773 --> 00:10:42,807
Don't worry about
a thing. You...
221
00:10:42,841 --> 00:10:44,341
I hope so. I hope so.
222
00:10:44,375 --> 00:10:45,542
Alex.
What?
223
00:10:45,576 --> 00:10:46,344
Listen.
224
00:10:46,378 --> 00:10:47,695
Whatever
happens,
Yeah.
225
00:10:47,729 --> 00:10:51,131
I want you to know
that you've been
a good friend.
226
00:10:51,166 --> 00:10:53,000
ALEX:
Yeah, okay,
Louie. Come on...
227
00:10:53,035 --> 00:10:54,936
I mean it.
228
00:10:54,970 --> 00:10:56,938
Take care of yourself.
229
00:10:56,972 --> 00:10:59,373
And I hope the world
is kind to you.
230
00:10:59,407 --> 00:11:00,374
Thanks, Lou.
231
00:11:00,408 --> 00:11:01,725
And, and listen,
232
00:11:01,759 --> 00:11:04,628
if I don't make it,
don't tell Ma that I died.
233
00:11:04,662 --> 00:11:07,098
Tell her that I'm on a mission
for the government.
234
00:11:07,132 --> 00:11:08,099
She'll believe you.
235
00:11:08,133 --> 00:11:09,633
She's a little funny
in the head.
236
00:11:22,363 --> 00:11:23,330
Hey, guys.
237
00:11:23,364 --> 00:11:24,331
Hi, Tony.
Hi, Tony.
238
00:11:24,365 --> 00:11:25,833
I thought Louie
was coming back today.
239
00:11:25,867 --> 00:11:27,467
Yeah, he is. He should
be in any minute.
240
00:11:27,502 --> 00:11:28,602
I am so proud of Louie.
241
00:11:28,636 --> 00:11:30,271
I can't believe
how he bounced back
242
00:11:30,305 --> 00:11:32,173
ALEX:
Yeah.
from that operation so fast.
243
00:11:32,207 --> 00:11:34,976
Isn't it great that
it was only gallstones?
244
00:11:35,010 --> 00:11:36,844
How many gallstones
did they have to remove?
245
00:11:36,878 --> 00:11:37,728
Just one.
246
00:11:37,762 --> 00:11:39,062
Aw, man, that's good.
247
00:11:39,097 --> 00:11:43,133
As long as you still got one,
he could still have kids.
248
00:11:45,820 --> 00:11:48,538
You know, I-I still can't get
over that story Alex told us
249
00:11:48,573 --> 00:11:50,007
about Louie's deal with God.
250
00:11:50,041 --> 00:11:52,009
Hey, do you think
he's gonna keep it?
251
00:11:52,043 --> 00:11:53,627
Well, I think
he's gonna try.
252
00:11:53,661 --> 00:11:55,796
Yeah, for about
ten minutes.
253
00:11:55,830 --> 00:11:56,964
No, no, no, I mean it, Bobby.
254
00:11:56,999 --> 00:11:59,182
Make that five minutes.
255
00:11:59,217 --> 00:12:01,402
Yeah, well, I think
he's gonna make it.
256
00:12:01,436 --> 00:12:02,452
Yeah?
257
00:12:02,487 --> 00:12:05,122
I got $50 that says he can't
make it through one day
258
00:12:05,156 --> 00:12:06,590
without yelling, screaming
259
00:12:06,624 --> 00:12:09,159
and generally abusing at least
one person in this garage.
260
00:12:09,194 --> 00:12:10,460
Wait a minute, Bob,
are you really serious?
261
00:12:10,495 --> 00:12:11,762
I mean, you're gonna
make a bet about a man
262
00:12:11,796 --> 00:12:13,563
keeping his faithful
oath with his God?
263
00:12:13,598 --> 00:12:14,932
I'll give you
two to one.
264
00:12:14,966 --> 00:12:15,933
You're on.
265
00:12:15,967 --> 00:12:17,201
All right.
266
00:12:19,620 --> 00:12:21,088
Hey!
Hey, Louie! Hey!
267
00:12:21,122 --> 00:12:23,090
ALL:
Hey!
268
00:12:23,124 --> 00:12:24,424
Wow, you look
terrific, you know?
269
00:12:24,459 --> 00:12:27,461
( others oohing and ahhing )
270
00:12:27,495 --> 00:12:29,196
Well, it's great to be back.
271
00:12:29,231 --> 00:12:29,963
How do you feel?
272
00:12:29,998 --> 00:12:31,198
Oh, oh, I feel great.
273
00:12:31,232 --> 00:12:32,199
I feel terrific.
274
00:12:32,233 --> 00:12:33,500
How's everybody been?
275
00:12:33,535 --> 00:12:34,752
Oh, everybody's fine.
Everybody's fine.
276
00:12:34,786 --> 00:12:35,753
Yeah. Rock 'n' roll.
277
00:12:35,787 --> 00:12:38,638
John, how are the bookings?
278
00:12:38,673 --> 00:12:40,524
Oh, not so good, I'm afraid.
279
00:12:40,558 --> 00:12:43,293
Last night I had
my worst night ever.
280
00:12:43,328 --> 00:12:44,328
I'm sorry.
281
00:12:47,232 --> 00:12:49,500
It's only money.
282
00:12:51,269 --> 00:12:52,402
LOUIE:
Oh, Elaine...
283
00:12:53,755 --> 00:12:55,356
How are your kids?
284
00:12:55,390 --> 00:12:56,690
They're fine.
285
00:12:56,724 --> 00:12:58,042
Why don't you bring them down
286
00:12:58,076 --> 00:13:00,644
to the garage someday
for a visit?
287
00:13:02,181 --> 00:13:04,649
I'd love to see them.
288
00:13:04,683 --> 00:13:05,950
After all,
289
00:13:05,984 --> 00:13:07,584
a man is never taller
290
00:13:07,618 --> 00:13:10,720
than when he stoops
to help a child.
291
00:13:12,257 --> 00:13:14,608
And nobody
can stoop lower
292
00:13:14,642 --> 00:13:16,577
than you, De Palma.
293
00:13:19,548 --> 00:13:21,815
Thank you, my friend.
294
00:13:27,522 --> 00:13:29,123
Latka.
295
00:13:29,157 --> 00:13:31,291
Latka, Latka, Latka.
296
00:13:31,326 --> 00:13:32,793
Hi.
297
00:13:32,828 --> 00:13:34,095
Always working,
298
00:13:34,129 --> 00:13:36,030
Yeah.
never resting.
299
00:13:36,064 --> 00:13:37,598
That's right.
300
00:13:37,632 --> 00:13:40,334
Come... let's have
a cup of coffee.
301
00:13:40,368 --> 00:13:41,335
Okay.
302
00:13:41,369 --> 00:13:42,336
My treat.
303
00:13:42,370 --> 00:13:43,503
Okay.
304
00:13:43,538 --> 00:13:45,172
( speakingnative language )
305
00:13:45,207 --> 00:13:47,141
Two lumps?
306
00:13:47,175 --> 00:13:48,976
So, tell me, Latka,
307
00:13:49,010 --> 00:13:51,011
what's been new
in your life?
308
00:13:51,046 --> 00:13:52,012
Oh, what's new?
309
00:13:52,047 --> 00:13:53,013
Yeah.
310
00:13:53,048 --> 00:13:54,882
Well, uh, this morning
311
00:13:54,916 --> 00:13:56,767
I heard a very good joke
312
00:13:56,801 --> 00:13:58,602
from my cousin Baji.
313
00:13:58,636 --> 00:14:00,221
Oh, from Baji!
314
00:14:00,255 --> 00:14:01,388
Oh, let's hear it.
315
00:14:01,423 --> 00:14:02,756
I love a good joke.
316
00:14:02,790 --> 00:14:03,607
Okay.
317
00:14:03,641 --> 00:14:06,160
Eh...
318
00:14:06,194 --> 00:14:10,030
( speaking native language )
319
00:14:13,868 --> 00:14:17,571
( speaking in gruff voice )
320
00:14:17,606 --> 00:14:20,240
( continues speakingnative language animatedly )
321
00:14:20,275 --> 00:14:23,544
( speaking in falsetto )
322
00:14:25,463 --> 00:14:27,431
( continues speakingnative language )
323
00:14:27,465 --> 00:14:28,498
( laughing )
324
00:14:28,533 --> 00:14:30,768
Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom!
325
00:14:31,820 --> 00:14:32,820
Ah! Ah!
326
00:14:36,457 --> 00:14:38,209
Yeah? Yeah, yeah?
327
00:14:38,243 --> 00:14:41,078
( still speakingnative language )
328
00:14:44,416 --> 00:14:49,854
( laughing )
329
00:14:49,888 --> 00:14:52,022
( repeating punch linein Latka's language )
330
00:14:59,347 --> 00:15:01,048
( repeating punch line )
331
00:15:02,918 --> 00:15:05,385
( guffawing )
332
00:15:05,420 --> 00:15:06,520
Hey, Louie?
333
00:15:06,554 --> 00:15:07,788
What's so funny?
334
00:15:08,824 --> 00:15:10,657
( repeating punch line )
335
00:15:10,692 --> 00:15:11,992
Oh?
336
00:15:12,027 --> 00:15:14,544
What's the matter,
you heard it already?
337
00:15:15,947 --> 00:15:18,682
Would you like
to pay up right now, Bob?
338
00:15:18,717 --> 00:15:19,766
Hey, it's just the
beginning of the day.
339
00:15:19,801 --> 00:15:21,134
Give him time, Alex.
340
00:15:21,169 --> 00:15:22,570
He'll revert to form.
341
00:15:22,604 --> 00:15:24,305
No way, Bob, believe me.
342
00:15:24,339 --> 00:15:26,506
Just watch.
343
00:15:34,532 --> 00:15:37,367
Come to turn in
your bookings, Bob?
344
00:15:37,402 --> 00:15:40,470
Uh, uh, actually, I don't,
I don't have any bookings.
345
00:15:40,505 --> 00:15:41,738
Uh, you see...
346
00:15:41,773 --> 00:15:44,641
When I left the garage
this morning...
347
00:15:44,676 --> 00:15:46,243
Yes?
348
00:15:46,278 --> 00:15:49,647
Well, I had, I had
a little, uh...
349
00:15:49,681 --> 00:15:50,847
Yes?
350
00:15:50,882 --> 00:15:54,985
Well, in fact, it wasn't
all that little.
351
00:15:55,019 --> 00:15:59,390
Uh, I... I had
this really big...
352
00:15:59,424 --> 00:16:02,242
Yes?
353
00:16:02,277 --> 00:16:05,746
In fact, "big" isn't
even the right word.
354
00:16:05,780 --> 00:16:07,081
"Total."
355
00:16:07,115 --> 00:16:09,583
I-I have to say "total." I...
356
00:16:09,617 --> 00:16:12,319
What-what is it you're
trying to tell me, Bob?
357
00:16:14,038 --> 00:16:15,606
Louie, I had an accident.
358
00:16:21,746 --> 00:16:23,380
You had an ac-ac...
359
00:16:23,414 --> 00:16:25,332
You had an acc...
360
00:16:25,367 --> 00:16:26,901
An accident?
361
00:16:26,935 --> 00:16:30,004
Yeah... an accident.
362
00:16:42,650 --> 00:16:44,618
I'll be darned.
363
00:16:49,457 --> 00:16:52,309
Well, I don't want you
to worry, Bob.
364
00:16:52,344 --> 00:16:57,281
Some careless drunk just rams
into your car, what can you do?
365
00:16:59,601 --> 00:17:03,637
Um... it wasn't
any careless drunk.
366
00:17:03,672 --> 00:17:05,372
See, it was my fault.
367
00:17:05,406 --> 00:17:08,342
I... I ran a stop sign.
368
00:17:12,080 --> 00:17:14,181
You ran a stop sign?
369
00:17:14,215 --> 00:17:17,334
Yeah. You see, uh...
I couldn't see it.
370
00:17:17,369 --> 00:17:19,303
I forgot to turn on
my headlights.
371
00:17:19,337 --> 00:17:20,304
Oh...
372
00:17:20,338 --> 00:17:22,256
Excuse me.
373
00:17:22,290 --> 00:17:28,578
( growling )
374
00:17:37,255 --> 00:17:39,256
Oh, well, accidents happen.
375
00:17:42,944 --> 00:17:44,278
Sorry, Bob.
376
00:17:46,714 --> 00:17:47,881
You win, Alex.
377
00:17:47,915 --> 00:17:48,915
You-you win.
378
00:17:48,950 --> 00:17:50,384
I don't believe it. You...
379
00:17:50,418 --> 00:17:51,551
ALEX:
I told you.
380
00:17:51,586 --> 00:17:52,886
BOB:
Yeah, but I don't believe it.
381
00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:54,788
I... I... Wow.
382
00:17:54,822 --> 00:17:56,223
What's that you're
saying, Bob?
383
00:17:56,257 --> 00:17:59,125
Well, I got to hand it
to you, Louie.
384
00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:01,462
I didn't really think
you could change.
385
00:18:01,496 --> 00:18:02,730
I mean-- but you did.
386
00:18:02,764 --> 00:18:04,998
I mean, I even bet Alex that
you couldn't be a nice guy
387
00:18:05,032 --> 00:18:06,166
for one whole day.
388
00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:07,000
( chuckling )
389
00:18:07,034 --> 00:18:08,602
Oh...
390
00:18:08,636 --> 00:18:10,387
Oh, I see.
391
00:18:10,422 --> 00:18:13,457
Then there wasn't
any accident after all.
392
00:18:13,492 --> 00:18:16,460
( laughing )
393
00:18:16,495 --> 00:18:17,894
Yeah, that's right.
394
00:18:17,929 --> 00:18:18,929
( laughing harder )
395
00:18:28,206 --> 00:18:30,373
You were just testing me.
396
00:18:36,064 --> 00:18:38,265
Playing a little game with me.
397
00:18:38,299 --> 00:18:39,132
Yeah.
398
00:18:40,601 --> 00:18:42,119
You were testing me
399
00:18:42,153 --> 00:18:46,023
to see if I could break
my pact with God.
400
00:18:46,057 --> 00:18:47,274
Ye-Yeah, I-I guess so.
401
00:18:47,308 --> 00:18:48,442
I guess it was like that,
402
00:18:48,476 --> 00:18:50,244
but, uh, man,
you wouldn't crack.
403
00:18:50,278 --> 00:18:53,080
You're great. I...
404
00:18:53,114 --> 00:18:54,281
Well... Alex?
405
00:18:56,934 --> 00:19:05,041
10, 20... 40,
50, 60, 70...
406
00:19:05,075 --> 00:19:09,446
80, 90...
5... 6...
407
00:19:09,480 --> 00:19:11,114
Louie, what, what
are you doing?
408
00:19:11,148 --> 00:19:12,882
Louie, what are you...
Louie, what are you...
409
00:19:12,917 --> 00:19:14,518
Louie, what the heck
are you doing?!
410
00:19:14,552 --> 00:19:15,602
Stop it now!
411
00:19:15,636 --> 00:19:17,037
Stop it right now!
412
00:19:17,071 --> 00:19:18,038
Louie!
413
00:19:18,072 --> 00:19:21,308
Louie, what
are you doing?
414
00:19:21,342 --> 00:19:23,076
You scum!
415
00:19:23,111 --> 00:19:25,912
You lowlife!
416
00:19:25,947 --> 00:19:28,365
You cretin!
417
00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:32,335
I'm going to make you regret
the day you were born!
418
00:19:32,370 --> 00:19:34,805
I'm gonna make sure
that every night
419
00:19:34,839 --> 00:19:36,840
you get the dirtiest
420
00:19:36,875 --> 00:19:39,108
smelliest cab in the garage,
421
00:19:39,143 --> 00:19:42,396
and if there isn't one
that's dirty and smelly,
422
00:19:42,430 --> 00:19:46,466
then I'm gonna get in and smelly
and dirty it up myself.
423
00:19:47,886 --> 00:19:51,621
In the wintertime,
your cab will have no heater.
424
00:19:51,656 --> 00:19:55,525
In the summertime,
your windows won't roll down.
425
00:19:55,560 --> 00:20:00,230
I'm gonna make you the second
most miserable cab driver
426
00:20:00,264 --> 00:20:02,499
in all of New York City.
427
00:20:04,702 --> 00:20:08,638
The most miserable cab driver
in all of New York City
428
00:20:08,672 --> 00:20:12,559
is whoever lets him down
or feeds him.
429
00:20:18,616 --> 00:20:20,633
Looks like you won the bet, Bob.
430
00:20:22,604 --> 00:20:23,937
What are you doing?
431
00:20:23,971 --> 00:20:24,938
Alex.
432
00:20:24,972 --> 00:20:26,140
Hey, come on.
433
00:20:40,404 --> 00:20:41,471
Hi, Louie.
434
00:20:44,793 --> 00:20:46,159
You believe in hell, Alex?
435
00:20:46,194 --> 00:20:47,211
Believe in it?
436
00:20:47,329 --> 00:20:48,662
I work there.
437
00:20:51,265 --> 00:20:53,166
I broke a promise, Alex.
438
00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:55,201
And I don't mean
I broke a promise
439
00:20:55,236 --> 00:20:56,970
to some clown like yourself.
440
00:20:58,138 --> 00:21:00,157
I broke a promise with Him.
441
00:21:00,191 --> 00:21:02,659
I don't do nothing
halfway, do I?
442
00:21:02,693 --> 00:21:04,527
Oh, come on, Louie.
443
00:21:04,562 --> 00:21:05,896
Will you stop being
so hard on yourself?
444
00:21:05,930 --> 00:21:07,447
Anybody could see you tried.
445
00:21:07,481 --> 00:21:08,731
Now, come on,
it's time to go home.
446
00:21:08,766 --> 00:21:10,400
I ain't leaving
here, Alex.
447
00:21:10,435 --> 00:21:12,402
Why not?
448
00:21:12,437 --> 00:21:15,672
'Cause God's waiting
for me outside.
449
00:21:15,706 --> 00:21:17,274
He's rolled up
His sleeves.
450
00:21:17,308 --> 00:21:19,776
He's got His
brass knuckles on.
451
00:21:19,810 --> 00:21:21,378
He's getting
ready for me.
452
00:21:21,412 --> 00:21:23,313
Come on, Louie,
I didn't see anybody outside.
453
00:21:23,348 --> 00:21:24,314
Let's go home, huh?
454
00:21:24,349 --> 00:21:25,949
It's no use, Alex.
455
00:21:28,453 --> 00:21:31,154
I committed the biggest sin
in the book.
456
00:21:31,188 --> 00:21:33,924
I welshed on God.
457
00:21:35,660 --> 00:21:37,561
You know, Louie...
458
00:21:37,595 --> 00:21:41,915
I don't think
you really did.
459
00:21:41,950 --> 00:21:43,116
What are you
talking about?
460
00:21:43,150 --> 00:21:44,718
You heard the promise
I made to Him.
461
00:21:44,752 --> 00:21:45,886
Yeah, that's
just what I mean.
462
00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:48,254
I mean, do you remember
the exact words you said?
463
00:21:48,289 --> 00:21:49,856
I mean, what exactly
did you say?
464
00:21:49,891 --> 00:21:52,959
I promised I'd be a good person.
465
00:21:52,994 --> 00:21:56,963
No. I think
your exact words were
466
00:21:56,998 --> 00:22:00,233
"I'm going to be the best person
I can possibly be."
467
00:22:00,268 --> 00:22:01,951
So what?
468
00:22:01,986 --> 00:22:06,356
Well, Louie, maybe the best
person that you can possibly be
469
00:22:06,391 --> 00:22:08,525
is a rat.
470
00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:14,748
What are you talking about?
471
00:22:14,782 --> 00:22:17,918
Well, you can't be
something you're not.
472
00:22:17,952 --> 00:22:20,053
I mean God made you
what you are.
473
00:22:20,087 --> 00:22:22,622
And if God made you
the way you are,
474
00:22:22,657 --> 00:22:24,624
then He must have
had a reason.
475
00:22:26,127 --> 00:22:29,296
But we can be sure
that just as He had a reason
476
00:22:29,330 --> 00:22:32,282
for creating snakes
and lice and vermin...
477
00:22:34,435 --> 00:22:37,904
He had a reason
for creating you, too.
478
00:22:41,359 --> 00:22:43,693
That's a beautiful
thought, Alex.
479
00:22:45,062 --> 00:22:46,096
Yeah.
480
00:22:46,130 --> 00:22:48,532
You... you really think
481
00:22:48,566 --> 00:22:51,335
He could forgive me
for what I did?
482
00:22:51,369 --> 00:22:53,837
Well, I-I think you got
a good shot, Louie.
483
00:22:53,871 --> 00:22:55,439
And you really think
484
00:22:55,473 --> 00:23:00,009
that He understands
me being the way I am:
485
00:23:00,044 --> 00:23:03,780
Mean and nasty and rotten...
486
00:23:03,814 --> 00:23:07,450
and that... in some way,
487
00:23:07,484 --> 00:23:11,121
maybe it's part of His
scheme of things?
488
00:23:11,155 --> 00:23:14,057
Yeah, I think so.
489
00:23:18,262 --> 00:23:19,929
Thank you, Alex.
490
00:23:22,434 --> 00:23:23,967
Excuse me.
491
00:23:24,001 --> 00:23:25,803
Where are you going?
492
00:23:28,339 --> 00:23:30,039
Back to the garage
493
00:23:30,074 --> 00:23:35,579
so that I may continue
fulfilling His divine purpose.
494
00:23:36,814 --> 00:23:38,315
Hmm...
495
00:23:45,006 --> 00:23:46,006
( coins clinking )
496
00:23:57,585 --> 00:24:00,286
( theme music playing )
497
00:24:24,562 --> 00:24:26,429
WOMAN:
Good night, Mr. Walters.
498
00:24:26,463 --> 00:24:27,463
( Walters grunts )
36734
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
