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1
00:00:01,867 --> 00:00:04,869
( theme music playing )
2
00:01:05,164 --> 00:01:08,116
( singing in native language )
3
00:01:12,655 --> 00:01:14,122
Everybody sing.
4
00:01:15,924 --> 00:01:17,392
Hey, Bobby...
5
00:01:17,426 --> 00:01:19,728
Hey. How come
you look so happy?
6
00:01:19,762 --> 00:01:21,912
You know, this really strange
thing happened to me last night.
7
00:01:21,947 --> 00:01:23,781
I called you up
to see if you wanted
8
00:01:23,815 --> 00:01:25,516
to go out for a
beer or something
9
00:01:25,551 --> 00:01:26,851
and you weren't home.
Right.
10
00:01:26,885 --> 00:01:29,854
I talked to this girl
on your answering service...
11
00:01:29,888 --> 00:01:31,155
Named Angela.
12
00:01:31,189 --> 00:01:32,423
Oh, she's terrific.
13
00:01:32,458 --> 00:01:33,824
My favorite operator.
14
00:01:33,859 --> 00:01:35,793
You know, I call
for my messages,
15
00:01:35,827 --> 00:01:37,428
and all the rest of them
16
00:01:37,463 --> 00:01:39,097
they just say,
"Still nothing."
17
00:01:39,131 --> 00:01:41,266
You know, an actor
doesn't like to hear that
18
00:01:41,300 --> 00:01:43,501
but Angela--
nobody called me--
19
00:01:43,535 --> 00:01:45,720
she gives me
other people's messages.
20
00:01:45,755 --> 00:01:48,556
Yeah, yeah, she really seemed
nice on the phone, you know?
21
00:01:48,591 --> 00:01:50,091
Oh, unbelievably nice.
22
00:01:50,125 --> 00:01:51,593
LOUIE:
Hey, Rieger?
23
00:01:51,627 --> 00:01:54,179
Sometimes she gives me
Gene Shalit's messages.
24
00:01:54,213 --> 00:01:55,180
Really?
25
00:01:55,214 --> 00:01:56,247
Yeah. Gene and me
26
00:01:56,282 --> 00:01:58,249
we use the same service,
you know.
27
00:01:58,284 --> 00:01:59,701
A lot of stars call him.
28
00:01:59,735 --> 00:02:01,636
You know who
called him yesterday?
29
00:02:01,670 --> 00:02:02,236
Who?
30
00:02:02,271 --> 00:02:04,939
Erma Bombeck.
31
00:02:04,973 --> 00:02:08,509
Hey, you ever been out
with Angela, Bobby?
32
00:02:08,544 --> 00:02:11,412
Angela?
From your answering service?
33
00:02:11,447 --> 00:02:12,814
Oh, she's a peach.
34
00:02:12,848 --> 00:02:15,633
One night she and I discussed
my boxing career.
35
00:02:15,667 --> 00:02:16,968
You know, we never even met
36
00:02:17,002 --> 00:02:20,071
and still we must have talked
for around five minutes.
37
00:02:20,105 --> 00:02:24,593
That's longer than
most of your fights last.
38
00:02:24,627 --> 00:02:26,528
Yeah.
39
00:02:26,562 --> 00:02:29,648
We talked
for a while too.
40
00:02:29,682 --> 00:02:31,249
Over an hour.
41
00:02:31,283 --> 00:02:32,817
Wow, an hour?
Hold it.
42
00:02:32,852 --> 00:02:34,853
You tied up my line
for an hour?
43
00:02:34,887 --> 00:02:37,155
Alex, I could be
getting acting jobs
44
00:02:37,189 --> 00:02:38,422
during that time.
45
00:02:38,457 --> 00:02:39,841
I sort of forgot about the time.
46
00:02:39,875 --> 00:02:41,876
I mean she was
so terrific on the phone.
47
00:02:41,911 --> 00:02:45,246
Hey, how come you never thought
about asking her out?
48
00:02:45,280 --> 00:02:47,232
Well, I almost
asked her out once
49
00:02:47,266 --> 00:02:49,633
but I decided against it,
it wasn't worth the risk.
50
00:02:49,668 --> 00:02:51,051
What risk?
51
00:02:51,086 --> 00:02:52,920
She might turn out to be a dog.
52
00:02:52,955 --> 00:02:54,205
Oh.
53
00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:54,873
Geez.
54
00:02:54,907 --> 00:02:57,809
Did you just geez at me, Elaine?
55
00:02:57,843 --> 00:02:59,794
I can't believe you.
I mean you wouldn't go out
56
00:02:59,829 --> 00:03:01,596
with a woman
if she wasn't good looking?
57
00:03:01,630 --> 00:03:02,998
Sure, I would.
58
00:03:03,032 --> 00:03:05,300
If I was real drunk
or something.
59
00:03:05,334 --> 00:03:08,403
Hey come on, Elaine.
60
00:03:08,437 --> 00:03:10,471
Looks matter
to women too.
61
00:03:10,505 --> 00:03:14,142
How popular are short,
pudgy, ugly men?
62
00:03:14,176 --> 00:03:15,910
Yeah. How popular, Louie?
63
00:03:15,945 --> 00:03:17,478
You know, Bobby
64
00:03:17,512 --> 00:03:20,181
I hope someone slams a door
on your nose
65
00:03:20,215 --> 00:03:23,717
and you sneeze
and your head explodes.
66
00:03:25,270 --> 00:03:29,206
If you had such a good
conversation with her, Alex
67
00:03:29,241 --> 00:03:31,476
why don't you ask her out?
68
00:03:31,510 --> 00:03:33,862
Well, I'm thinking about it.
69
00:03:33,896 --> 00:03:36,831
Yeah, well, I got to call
for my messages.
70
00:03:36,866 --> 00:03:39,100
Hey, if Angela
should happen to answer
71
00:03:39,134 --> 00:03:40,301
should I...
72
00:03:40,335 --> 00:03:41,202
No.
73
00:03:41,236 --> 00:03:44,122
All right, whatever,
but you better move fast.
74
00:03:44,156 --> 00:03:44,755
Why?
75
00:03:44,790 --> 00:03:47,175
So you can tell me
what she's like.
76
00:03:47,209 --> 00:03:48,542
Hi.
77
00:03:48,577 --> 00:03:50,962
Any for Wheeler, 131?
78
00:03:50,996 --> 00:03:54,014
Anything for Shalit?
79
00:03:55,167 --> 00:03:59,320
Hey, Angela, how'd you like
talking to my friend, Alex?
80
00:03:59,355 --> 00:04:00,555
Oh, yeah.
81
00:04:00,589 --> 00:04:02,524
He's even better
than he sounds.
82
00:04:02,558 --> 00:04:04,459
Sure. I'll describe
him to you.
83
00:04:04,493 --> 00:04:07,295
Before Bobby gets cute,
I, uh...
84
00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:09,096
Oh, this is Alex.
85
00:04:09,131 --> 00:04:10,998
Oh, yeah?
86
00:04:12,935 --> 00:04:15,102
Yeah, I remember your voice, too
87
00:04:15,137 --> 00:04:17,171
even though I knew it was you.
88
00:04:17,206 --> 00:04:19,841
I mean, even if I didn't know
it was you
89
00:04:19,875 --> 00:04:23,110
and I heard your voice,
I would know it was you.
90
00:04:23,145 --> 00:04:24,879
You want to go out with me?
91
00:04:24,913 --> 00:04:25,880
Smooth, Alex.
92
00:04:25,914 --> 00:04:27,649
Would you get out of here?
93
00:04:27,683 --> 00:04:28,416
Oh, boy.
94
00:04:28,450 --> 00:04:29,567
What,
"Oh, boy?"
95
00:04:29,602 --> 00:04:30,935
What you got
there, Latka?
96
00:04:30,969 --> 00:04:33,771
( speaking native language )
97
00:04:35,240 --> 00:04:36,825
Okay, okay, Latka.
98
00:04:36,859 --> 00:04:38,059
Shh! Slow down, okay?
99
00:04:38,093 --> 00:04:39,060
Slow down.
100
00:04:39,094 --> 00:04:40,562
Okay.
101
00:04:40,596 --> 00:04:43,848
( speaking native languageslowly )
102
00:04:51,540 --> 00:04:53,241
You found it
on the back seat.
103
00:04:53,275 --> 00:04:54,859
Yeah.
104
00:04:54,893 --> 00:04:57,095
2,000 bucks.
105
00:04:57,129 --> 00:04:59,230
2,000 smackers.
106
00:04:59,264 --> 00:05:02,734
Not smackers. Bucks.
107
00:05:02,768 --> 00:05:07,055
Latka, you found the 2,000 bucks
108
00:05:07,089 --> 00:05:08,573
I've been looking for.
109
00:05:08,607 --> 00:05:10,408
Hey, you never lost
2,000 bucks.
110
00:05:10,442 --> 00:05:11,792
I didn't say I lost it.
111
00:05:11,826 --> 00:05:13,494
I just said I was
looking for it.
112
00:05:13,529 --> 00:05:16,397
I've been looking
for 2,000 bucks all my life.
113
00:05:16,432 --> 00:05:18,800
Hands off, Louie.
114
00:05:18,834 --> 00:05:20,535
MAN:
Hey, Louie...
115
00:05:20,569 --> 00:05:21,803
it's your mother calling.
116
00:05:21,837 --> 00:05:24,672
She says somebody's trying
to break into her apartment.
117
00:05:24,706 --> 00:05:26,891
Tell her I'll
get back to her.
118
00:05:26,925 --> 00:05:28,810
That's your mother.
119
00:05:28,844 --> 00:05:30,878
All right.
I'll talk to her now.
120
00:05:30,913 --> 00:05:33,664
Don't do nothing with that money
while I'm gone.
121
00:05:34,799 --> 00:05:37,235
Listen, somebody has
to bring this up.
122
00:05:37,269 --> 00:05:39,437
The hack rules say
that this money
123
00:05:39,471 --> 00:05:42,206
must be returned to
the police precinct.
124
00:05:42,241 --> 00:05:42,991
No police.
125
00:05:43,025 --> 00:05:44,309
Oh, it's okay,
if we turn it in
126
00:05:44,343 --> 00:05:46,578
and nobody claims it
within 90 days
127
00:05:46,612 --> 00:05:48,379
then it's returned
to us, free and clear.
128
00:05:48,414 --> 00:05:51,583
No police, no police,
no nothing.
129
00:05:51,617 --> 00:05:53,050
Just money.
130
00:05:55,621 --> 00:05:58,072
You know, it's probably
dirty money, right?
131
00:05:58,106 --> 00:05:59,740
I mean what kind
of decent person
132
00:05:59,775 --> 00:06:02,677
walks around with 2,000 bucks
in cash, right?
133
00:06:02,711 --> 00:06:04,228
A priest who collected it
134
00:06:04,262 --> 00:06:06,731
for underprivileged
crippled children.
135
00:06:06,765 --> 00:06:10,401
Or a nun on her way to send it
to starving natives.
136
00:06:11,070 --> 00:06:13,438
Or a hooker.
137
00:06:14,656 --> 00:06:17,125
Hey, Alex, listen,
we got a little problem.
138
00:06:17,159 --> 00:06:19,527
Latka just found
this bunch of money...
139
00:06:19,561 --> 00:06:21,863
( speaking native language )
140
00:06:25,534 --> 00:06:28,102
Oh, it gets better
every time he tells it.
141
00:06:28,137 --> 00:06:30,838
Anyway, we're trying
to decide what to do.
142
00:06:30,872 --> 00:06:32,606
Yeah? Good.
I got to leave.
I got a date.
143
00:06:32,641 --> 00:06:33,508
With Angela?
144
00:06:33,542 --> 00:06:34,592
Uh-huh.
145
00:06:34,626 --> 00:06:35,893
Hey, way to go.
146
00:06:35,928 --> 00:06:38,796
I never worked so hard
for a date in my life.
147
00:06:38,831 --> 00:06:40,131
Hey, where you
taking her?
148
00:06:40,165 --> 00:06:42,433
Well, I thought I'd take her
to dinner, uh, Mario's.
149
00:06:42,467 --> 00:06:44,469
It's a nice place,
but stay away
150
00:06:44,503 --> 00:06:47,138
from the clams oreganata
with eggplant.
151
00:06:47,172 --> 00:06:49,206
It killed my sister-in-law.
152
00:06:50,058 --> 00:06:52,676
Have a good time, Alex.
153
00:07:17,552 --> 00:07:19,504
Doesn't get any better.
154
00:07:20,689 --> 00:07:23,858
Hi. I'm Alex.
155
00:07:23,893 --> 00:07:25,176
You blew it.
You could have said
156
00:07:25,210 --> 00:07:26,845
you were looking
for another apartment.
157
00:07:26,879 --> 00:07:29,113
No. I was looking
for this one, 3-D.
158
00:07:29,147 --> 00:07:31,549
It fell off
when I knocked on... door.
159
00:07:31,584 --> 00:07:33,184
Well, my admirers
160
00:07:33,218 --> 00:07:36,470
will just have to wander
the halls looking for me.
161
00:07:36,504 --> 00:07:39,373
I hate to disappoint you,
but I'm Angela.
162
00:07:39,407 --> 00:07:42,543
Oh. Here's your "D."
163
00:07:42,578 --> 00:07:43,844
You want to come in?
164
00:07:43,879 --> 00:07:47,165
Huh? Yeah. Sure.
165
00:07:48,784 --> 00:07:50,735
You got guts.
166
00:07:56,658 --> 00:07:58,059
It's very nice.
167
00:07:58,093 --> 00:07:59,594
You're doing very well.
168
00:07:59,628 --> 00:08:00,661
Huh?
169
00:08:00,696 --> 00:08:02,162
The smile, I mean.
170
00:08:02,197 --> 00:08:05,900
Most guys drop it
ten seconds after they see me.
171
00:08:05,934 --> 00:08:08,086
You can stop now.
172
00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:09,403
You've got the record.
173
00:08:09,437 --> 00:08:11,572
Say...
174
00:08:11,606 --> 00:08:14,875
so, Angela...
175
00:08:14,910 --> 00:08:16,877
This is really
very nice.
176
00:08:16,912 --> 00:08:18,813
Do you want to use
the phone?
177
00:08:18,847 --> 00:08:19,814
What for?
178
00:08:19,848 --> 00:08:21,149
To call your mother.
179
00:08:21,183 --> 00:08:23,551
Maybe you'll be lucky
and she'll be sick
180
00:08:23,585 --> 00:08:26,054
and you'll have to run over
and see her.
181
00:08:26,088 --> 00:08:28,790
( laughs )
182
00:08:28,824 --> 00:08:31,793
That's some sense of humor
you got there, Angela.
183
00:08:31,827 --> 00:08:34,062
Well, listen,
our dinner reservations
184
00:08:34,096 --> 00:08:35,597
aren't for about an hour
185
00:08:35,631 --> 00:08:37,649
so you want to get something
first somewhere else--
186
00:08:37,683 --> 00:08:38,616
a drink or something?
187
00:08:38,651 --> 00:08:40,217
You must know
188
00:08:40,252 --> 00:08:42,770
a really dark bar
where no one will see us.
189
00:08:42,805 --> 00:08:45,656
We don't have to go anywhere
if you don't want to.
190
00:08:45,691 --> 00:08:47,357
We can have a drink here.
191
00:08:47,392 --> 00:08:50,328
Sure, why take any chance
on anyone seeing you with me.
192
00:08:50,362 --> 00:08:51,695
What would you like to drink?
193
00:08:51,730 --> 00:08:54,098
What do you got?
194
00:08:54,132 --> 00:08:55,966
Malteds.
195
00:08:56,001 --> 00:09:00,187
Listen, we can get something
at the restaurant.
196
00:09:00,222 --> 00:09:02,289
Hope you like Italian.
197
00:09:02,324 --> 00:09:03,074
Doesn't matter.
198
00:09:03,108 --> 00:09:05,092
As you can see, I eat anything.
199
00:09:06,394 --> 00:09:08,629
If you want, I could fix you
something here.
200
00:09:08,664 --> 00:09:10,464
You don't want to go out?
201
00:09:10,499 --> 00:09:11,466
I don't care.
202
00:09:11,584 --> 00:09:13,952
I was just trying
to make it easy on you.
203
00:09:13,986 --> 00:09:16,287
Get your coat.
204
00:09:16,321 --> 00:09:18,088
What are you trying to prove?
205
00:09:18,123 --> 00:09:19,624
That you're a great guy?
206
00:09:19,658 --> 00:09:22,226
Okay. You're a great guy.
A real prince.
207
00:09:22,260 --> 00:09:25,029
Um... here.
208
00:09:25,063 --> 00:09:27,397
Here's your coat.
209
00:09:27,432 --> 00:09:29,500
You don't know
when to quit, do you?
210
00:09:29,534 --> 00:09:31,819
Hey, I asked you out for dinner,
we're going out for dinner.
211
00:09:34,606 --> 00:09:35,673
It will be fun.
212
00:09:35,707 --> 00:09:37,808
You'll see.
213
00:09:37,842 --> 00:09:39,510
Fat chance.
214
00:09:44,349 --> 00:09:47,418
Do you like clams oreganata
with eggplant?
215
00:10:03,201 --> 00:10:04,885
I never met anybody
216
00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:06,453
who liked anchovies.
217
00:10:06,488 --> 00:10:08,923
Rich people probably like them.
218
00:10:08,957 --> 00:10:10,825
Rich people
like anything
219
00:10:10,859 --> 00:10:14,545
that's small that tastes weird.
220
00:10:16,281 --> 00:10:18,399
Why don't you drop
the act now, huh?
221
00:10:18,433 --> 00:10:19,600
What? What act?
222
00:10:19,634 --> 00:10:21,819
Pretending that you're not
having a lousy time.
223
00:10:21,853 --> 00:10:23,270
Hey, come on, Angela,
would you?
224
00:10:24,707 --> 00:10:27,008
What do you still got
your coat on for?
225
00:10:27,042 --> 00:10:29,410
The management requested it.
226
00:10:29,444 --> 00:10:31,962
Don't you care
for your salad?
227
00:10:31,997 --> 00:10:34,164
I wouldn't know if I
cared for it or not.
228
00:10:34,199 --> 00:10:35,165
I didn't eat it.
229
00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:36,500
Hey, what's with you?
230
00:10:36,535 --> 00:10:38,669
What's the matter? Aren't you
having a good time anymore?
231
00:10:38,704 --> 00:10:40,470
I once went out with a girl
232
00:10:40,505 --> 00:10:42,739
who pulled a knife on me,
robbed me
233
00:10:42,774 --> 00:10:46,343
and threw me out of her car
on the New Jersey turnpike.
234
00:10:46,377 --> 00:10:49,513
I have to think about that now
as a medium date.
235
00:10:49,547 --> 00:10:52,482
So you want to take me home now?
236
00:10:52,517 --> 00:10:53,951
Yeah, I'd be happy to.
237
00:10:56,755 --> 00:10:58,088
There he is.
238
00:10:58,123 --> 00:10:59,590
Let's go out this way.
239
00:11:02,528 --> 00:11:04,195
Hey, Alex,
I'm really sorry.
240
00:11:04,229 --> 00:11:05,463
I tried to stop them
241
00:11:05,497 --> 00:11:07,665
from coming down
and bothering you.
242
00:11:07,699 --> 00:11:08,899
Angela Matusa
243
00:11:08,933 --> 00:11:12,336
this is Tony Banta,
John Burns, Latka Gravas
244
00:11:12,371 --> 00:11:15,039
and Bobby Wheeler,
who I guess you sort of know.
245
00:11:15,073 --> 00:11:17,241
Nice to finally meet you,
Angela.
246
00:11:17,275 --> 00:11:19,243
Am I what you pictured,
Bobby?
247
00:11:19,277 --> 00:11:22,412
Yeah, more or less.
248
00:11:22,447 --> 00:11:25,316
More.
249
00:11:25,350 --> 00:11:26,951
What are you guys doing here?
250
00:11:26,985 --> 00:11:28,085
ANGELA:
If you'll excuse me.
251
00:11:28,119 --> 00:11:30,204
I have to use the ladies' room.
252
00:11:32,874 --> 00:11:34,008
Hey, Alex...
253
00:11:34,042 --> 00:11:35,342
So how's your big date?
254
00:11:35,376 --> 00:11:36,877
All right, stop that.
255
00:11:36,912 --> 00:11:37,678
( laughter )
256
00:11:37,712 --> 00:11:39,029
That's not funny.
257
00:11:39,064 --> 00:11:40,164
Hey.
258
00:11:40,198 --> 00:11:42,799
( speaking native language )
259
00:11:44,185 --> 00:11:45,886
I think Latka likes her.
260
00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:46,787
Do you like her, Latka?
261
00:11:46,905 --> 00:11:48,572
Maybe Alex will give you
her number.
262
00:11:48,607 --> 00:11:50,508
You could call her up
for tomorrow night.
263
00:11:50,542 --> 00:11:52,543
Oh, no.
Thank you very much.
264
00:11:54,245 --> 00:11:55,479
All right, what
do you clowns want?
265
00:11:58,900 --> 00:12:02,303
Yeah. Why don't you
sit down?
266
00:12:02,337 --> 00:12:04,171
Well, you know the money
that Latka found?
267
00:12:04,206 --> 00:12:06,390
We're still trying
to decide what
to do with it.
268
00:12:06,425 --> 00:12:07,925
We wanted you
to hold onto it
269
00:12:07,959 --> 00:12:10,194
until we figure out
what to do with it,
all right?
270
00:12:10,228 --> 00:12:11,545
Yeah, because otherwise
271
00:12:11,579 --> 00:12:14,614
we're going to have
to spend the night as a group
272
00:12:14,649 --> 00:12:16,567
'cause nobody trusts nobody.
273
00:12:16,601 --> 00:12:17,568
Except you.
274
00:12:17,602 --> 00:12:19,270
Everybody trusts you.
275
00:12:19,304 --> 00:12:21,172
Okay.
276
00:12:22,174 --> 00:12:23,975
Want to give us
277
00:12:24,009 --> 00:12:25,226
a receipt?
278
00:12:26,194 --> 00:12:28,112
Oh, here comes Angela.
279
00:12:31,016 --> 00:12:32,449
Now be polite, huh?
280
00:12:32,484 --> 00:12:33,818
Control yourself.
281
00:12:33,852 --> 00:12:35,052
Oh, hi.
282
00:12:35,087 --> 00:12:36,453
Good to see you back.
283
00:12:36,488 --> 00:12:38,022
Everything go all right
284
00:12:38,056 --> 00:12:39,339
in the ladies' room?
285
00:12:39,374 --> 00:12:40,875
We should be going now.
286
00:12:40,909 --> 00:12:42,509
Nice meeting you,
Angela.
287
00:12:42,544 --> 00:12:43,510
See you.
288
00:12:43,545 --> 00:12:44,879
Yeah, so long.
289
00:12:46,982 --> 00:12:48,182
Bet your friends
290
00:12:48,216 --> 00:12:50,250
got quite a kick
out of me, huh?
291
00:12:50,285 --> 00:12:51,552
What do you mean?
292
00:12:51,586 --> 00:12:54,021
I heard them all break up
when I left.
293
00:12:54,056 --> 00:12:55,155
They weren't laughing at you.
294
00:12:55,189 --> 00:12:56,156
No?
295
00:12:56,190 --> 00:12:56,740
No.
296
00:12:58,226 --> 00:13:00,328
One of the guys told a joke.
297
00:13:00,362 --> 00:13:02,996
Why are you afraid to tell me
they were laughing at me?
I can take it.
298
00:13:03,031 --> 00:13:05,099
Because they weren't.
Now can we drop this?
299
00:13:05,133 --> 00:13:07,535
All I know is, I heard a big
laugh when I left the table.
300
00:13:07,569 --> 00:13:08,902
I told you what it was.
301
00:13:08,937 --> 00:13:10,420
What do you want from me?
302
00:13:10,455 --> 00:13:11,722
I want you to stop lying to me.
303
00:13:11,757 --> 00:13:14,759
You've been lying to me
all night, and I'm sick of it.
304
00:13:14,793 --> 00:13:17,761
Okay.
305
00:13:17,795 --> 00:13:19,830
They were laughing at you, okay?
306
00:13:22,501 --> 00:13:24,034
You could have held out.
307
00:13:24,068 --> 00:13:26,237
I was almost ready
to believe you.
308
00:13:26,271 --> 00:13:27,304
Look, you don't have
309
00:13:27,339 --> 00:13:29,006
to bother
seeing me home.
310
00:13:29,040 --> 00:13:30,107
No, I'll take you.
311
00:13:30,141 --> 00:13:32,242
No, really. I'm one of
the few women in New York
312
00:13:32,277 --> 00:13:33,778
who's safe
on the streets.
313
00:13:33,812 --> 00:13:36,180
Come on, you came with me,
you're leaving with me.
314
00:13:36,214 --> 00:13:38,148
Listen, let's not spoil
a lovely evening
315
00:13:38,183 --> 00:13:39,216
by arguing, okay?
316
00:13:39,250 --> 00:13:40,351
And hey, don't worry.
You did your duty.
317
00:13:40,385 --> 00:13:42,486
You proved
you were a nice guy.
318
00:13:42,521 --> 00:13:44,321
I'm taking you.
319
00:13:44,356 --> 00:13:45,755
Get your paws off me.
320
00:13:45,790 --> 00:13:48,776
They give you a little dinner,
they think they own you.
321
00:14:02,306 --> 00:14:04,492
Latka! Will you cut it out?!
322
00:14:04,526 --> 00:14:07,895
You're not going to find
any more money.
323
00:14:07,929 --> 00:14:11,098
Besides, these cabs
got to go out soon
324
00:14:11,132 --> 00:14:14,602
but they can't go out
with no back seats
325
00:14:14,636 --> 00:14:17,922
'cause where
will our passengers sit?
326
00:14:18,456 --> 00:14:19,956
You want them to squat
327
00:14:19,991 --> 00:14:21,858
on the floor like ducks?
328
00:14:21,893 --> 00:14:23,661
Okay.
329
00:14:23,695 --> 00:14:25,713
Put the damn seats back
330
00:14:25,747 --> 00:14:27,515
you dumb foreigner.
331
00:14:27,549 --> 00:14:28,532
Come on!
332
00:14:28,566 --> 00:14:29,799
Foreigner?
333
00:14:29,834 --> 00:14:31,201
Yeah.
334
00:14:31,236 --> 00:14:32,235
Did you said foreigner?
335
00:14:32,270 --> 00:14:32,869
Yeah.
336
00:14:32,904 --> 00:14:34,855
For you.
337
00:14:36,858 --> 00:14:39,260
What's that mean?
338
00:14:39,294 --> 00:14:40,477
Means this.
339
00:14:43,164 --> 00:14:46,399
You better smile
when you do that, buddy.
340
00:14:46,434 --> 00:14:47,701
Oh, yeah?
341
00:14:50,038 --> 00:14:53,007
Okay, pal, mull this one over.
342
00:14:54,976 --> 00:14:56,060
Oh, all right.
343
00:14:56,094 --> 00:14:57,794
I accept your apology.
344
00:15:05,887 --> 00:15:08,155
But we still don't know
who was driving
345
00:15:08,190 --> 00:15:10,157
when the money was left in it.
346
00:15:11,159 --> 00:15:12,325
Hi, Alex.
347
00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:14,795
Hey, Alex,
did you score?
348
00:15:14,830 --> 00:15:16,463
Shut up.
349
00:15:16,497 --> 00:15:18,665
I guess not.
350
00:15:20,235 --> 00:15:21,668
Geez.
351
00:15:21,703 --> 00:15:23,770
I heard about your date.
352
00:15:23,805 --> 00:15:24,872
Oh, yeah?
353
00:15:24,906 --> 00:15:26,040
Yeah.
354
00:15:26,074 --> 00:15:27,541
I wonder how come?
355
00:15:27,575 --> 00:15:32,279
You get some real kooks
on blind dates, boy.
356
00:15:32,313 --> 00:15:33,847
Like this one.
357
00:15:33,881 --> 00:15:37,584
I show up--
looking good, per usual--
358
00:15:37,618 --> 00:15:41,121
and this girl
comes to the door.
359
00:15:41,156 --> 00:15:42,356
Beautiful.
360
00:15:42,390 --> 00:15:44,157
Not your type.
361
00:15:44,192 --> 00:15:46,293
Right,
'cause to be honest
362
00:15:46,327 --> 00:15:50,397
I prefer my women "H and H"--
homely and hot.
363
00:15:50,431 --> 00:15:51,632
I misjudged you, Louie.
364
00:15:51,666 --> 00:15:53,601
You're really a poet, you know?
365
00:15:53,635 --> 00:15:54,618
You bet.
366
00:15:54,652 --> 00:15:56,786
Can I have
my receipt, please?
367
00:15:56,821 --> 00:16:00,457
Anyway, all of a sudden,
she says, "I feel sick."
368
00:16:00,492 --> 00:16:03,793
Tells me she thinks
she was exposed to cholera
369
00:16:03,828 --> 00:16:05,229
earlier that day.
370
00:16:05,263 --> 00:16:07,914
So, what did you do?
371
00:16:07,949 --> 00:16:09,500
I tried to take
her blouse off.
372
00:16:09,534 --> 00:16:11,435
It's not my fault
she feels sick
373
00:16:11,469 --> 00:16:14,104
so why shouldn't one of us
have a good time, right?
374
00:16:14,138 --> 00:16:16,857
You know, every time
I talk to you, Louie
375
00:16:16,891 --> 00:16:19,593
I feel grateful
that I haven't eaten yet.
376
00:16:19,628 --> 00:16:21,161
Heard about your date.
377
00:16:21,195 --> 00:16:24,598
Oh, yeah, what was it,
broadcast over the PA?
378
00:16:24,633 --> 00:16:25,865
Yeah.
379
00:16:29,003 --> 00:16:30,971
Hey, Elaine,
can I talk to you
380
00:16:31,005 --> 00:16:32,038
for a minute?
381
00:16:32,073 --> 00:16:33,307
Yeah, sure.
382
00:16:33,341 --> 00:16:34,841
I don't want any advice.
383
00:16:34,875 --> 00:16:36,176
I just want to talk.
384
00:16:36,211 --> 00:16:37,411
Go ahead.
385
00:16:37,445 --> 00:16:40,764
I can't stop thinking
about that girl.
386
00:16:40,799 --> 00:16:42,983
You know,
you're a terrific guy.
387
00:16:43,017 --> 00:16:44,234
That's not what
I want to hear.
388
00:16:44,268 --> 00:16:46,336
It just goes to show you
how terrific you are.
389
00:16:46,371 --> 00:16:47,972
All night long,
she kept accusing me
390
00:16:48,006 --> 00:16:49,306
of going through
the motions--
391
00:16:49,340 --> 00:16:51,642
that I wouldn't call
her again because
of her looks
392
00:16:51,676 --> 00:16:53,844
and I kept telling
her she was wrong.
393
00:16:53,879 --> 00:16:55,278
Terrific.
394
00:16:55,313 --> 00:16:56,463
But she wasn't wrong.
395
00:16:56,498 --> 00:16:57,598
Oh, Alex, you too?
396
00:16:57,632 --> 00:16:59,733
No. Listen,
what I can't figure out
397
00:16:59,768 --> 00:17:02,135
is that hour I had
with her on the phone
398
00:17:02,170 --> 00:17:05,372
was one of the greatest
conversations I've ever had.
399
00:17:05,407 --> 00:17:07,240
A witty, bright,
sensitive girl
400
00:17:07,275 --> 00:17:09,276
who came to the door
disappeared.
401
00:17:09,311 --> 00:17:10,611
What happened to her?
402
00:17:10,645 --> 00:17:13,530
Maybe Angela ate her.
403
00:17:19,604 --> 00:17:21,371
It wasn't just her looks.
404
00:17:21,406 --> 00:17:23,908
She was also
the bitterest, surliest
405
00:17:23,942 --> 00:17:26,276
most depressing person
I ever met.
406
00:17:26,310 --> 00:17:30,247
So, how come I feel
like I have to go see her again?
407
00:17:30,281 --> 00:17:30,981
I don't know.
408
00:17:31,016 --> 00:17:32,633
You got an answer for that?
409
00:17:32,667 --> 00:17:33,834
Yeah, I feel like
410
00:17:33,868 --> 00:17:35,669
I'm walking away
from a car wreck
411
00:17:35,704 --> 00:17:37,604
with a person trapped inside.
412
00:17:37,639 --> 00:17:39,440
That's true.
413
00:17:39,474 --> 00:17:42,259
I'm going to go see her.
414
00:17:42,294 --> 00:17:43,277
Oh, before I forget
415
00:17:43,395 --> 00:17:45,462
you can give us
that money back now.
416
00:17:45,497 --> 00:17:47,197
Even though we're
nowhere near
417
00:17:47,231 --> 00:17:48,999
figuring out
how to split it.
418
00:17:49,033 --> 00:17:50,117
Hey, listen, Latka found it.
419
00:17:50,151 --> 00:17:51,385
Why don't you give
it all to him?
420
00:17:51,419 --> 00:17:53,754
That's one we
didn't think of.
421
00:17:53,788 --> 00:17:55,372
What are you talking about?
422
00:17:55,406 --> 00:17:58,642
He doesn't know what to do
with that kind of money.
423
00:17:58,676 --> 00:18:00,543
Yeah, he'll probably
just blow it
424
00:18:00,578 --> 00:18:02,479
on rent or food
or something.
425
00:18:02,513 --> 00:18:04,365
How can you give it to him?
426
00:18:04,399 --> 00:18:07,468
You want to pop the veins
in my head?
427
00:18:07,502 --> 00:18:10,504
Here, Latka,
take your money.
428
00:18:12,374 --> 00:18:14,258
Okay, you guys.
429
00:18:16,594 --> 00:18:18,529
( speakingnative language )
430
00:18:20,331 --> 00:18:23,233
Thank you very much.
431
00:18:26,971 --> 00:18:28,004
Hey, no, no.
432
00:18:28,039 --> 00:18:29,339
Latka, Latka, please.
433
00:18:29,373 --> 00:18:30,607
Please, not now.
434
00:19:00,355 --> 00:19:02,272
Let's make it seven out of 13.
435
00:19:07,946 --> 00:19:09,880
What are you doing
this time
436
00:19:09,914 --> 00:19:11,981
praying
nobody will be home?
437
00:19:12,016 --> 00:19:15,719
Huh? No. Listen, I just
dropped by because I, I...
438
00:19:15,753 --> 00:19:16,937
Come in if you want.
439
00:19:16,971 --> 00:19:19,072
Okay.
440
00:19:19,106 --> 00:19:23,343
I guess I should have called
first, but, uh...
441
00:19:23,377 --> 00:19:25,528
Hey, is this
our second date?
442
00:19:25,563 --> 00:19:26,313
I don't know.
443
00:19:26,347 --> 00:19:28,298
Let's say it is.
I've never had one.
444
00:19:28,333 --> 00:19:30,717
Okay, it's our second date.
445
00:19:30,752 --> 00:19:33,621
Good, so far it looks like
I haven't been missing anything.
446
00:19:33,655 --> 00:19:36,056
Hey, Angela? Will you just let
me get out what I have to say?
447
00:19:36,090 --> 00:19:37,324
Because I don't want to end up
448
00:19:37,359 --> 00:19:39,960
with us doing that stupid stuff
that we did last night.
449
00:19:39,994 --> 00:19:41,077
You mean falling in love?
450
00:19:41,111 --> 00:19:42,729
Would you like to hear
what I have to say or not?
451
00:19:42,763 --> 00:19:43,530
Can I get a drink first?
452
00:19:43,564 --> 00:19:45,482
I have a feeling
I'm going to need a drink.
453
00:19:45,517 --> 00:19:46,817
Yeah, go ahead.
454
00:19:46,851 --> 00:19:48,552
You want anything?
No, thanks.
455
00:19:48,587 --> 00:19:50,987
So, what's on your mind?
456
00:19:52,857 --> 00:19:54,158
Well, I, uh...
457
00:19:54,192 --> 00:19:55,625
I don't really know.
458
00:19:55,660 --> 00:19:57,627
I, uh...
459
00:19:57,662 --> 00:20:01,398
I guess I would sort of like
to get to know you better.
460
00:20:01,433 --> 00:20:02,182
Why?
461
00:20:02,216 --> 00:20:03,600
Why not?
462
00:20:03,634 --> 00:20:06,153
Well, you might not know
to look at me
463
00:20:06,187 --> 00:20:10,173
but I'm not exactly beautiful,
or, uh, even good-looking.
464
00:20:10,207 --> 00:20:11,642
I'm not quite plain.
465
00:20:11,676 --> 00:20:14,912
Now, feel free to jump in
and stop me anytime.
466
00:20:14,946 --> 00:20:16,046
Hey, come on.
467
00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:18,181
I'm no Robert Redford,
you know.
468
00:20:18,215 --> 00:20:20,600
I wouldn't mind looking like you
if I was a man.
469
00:20:20,635 --> 00:20:22,402
Would you want
to look like me?
470
00:20:22,436 --> 00:20:23,987
Wouldn't be so bad.
471
00:20:24,022 --> 00:20:27,224
I'd, you know,
kind of fix up my hair
472
00:20:27,258 --> 00:20:31,461
and, uh... I'd do that
sort of stuff with makeup
473
00:20:31,495 --> 00:20:35,799
and, uh, I'd go to a gym,
and I'd work on myself.
474
00:20:35,833 --> 00:20:37,467
I mean,
that's what I would do.
475
00:20:37,501 --> 00:20:40,103
Not that I'm saying
that you should do anything.
476
00:20:40,138 --> 00:20:43,073
It's just what I would do.
477
00:20:43,107 --> 00:20:46,176
Okay, let's say I did
all the hairdo and makeup
478
00:20:46,210 --> 00:20:48,645
and everything and dropped
ten or 70 pounds.
479
00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:50,747
Do you think I'd be attractive?
480
00:20:52,350 --> 00:20:54,034
Do you think I'd be attractive?
481
00:20:55,570 --> 00:20:57,170
Yeah, sure, why not?
482
00:20:57,204 --> 00:20:58,839
In a romantic sort of way?
483
00:20:58,873 --> 00:21:01,007
You don't have
to answer.
484
00:21:01,041 --> 00:21:02,809
You could just nod.
485
00:21:02,844 --> 00:21:04,728
Hey, look, I'm not, uh...
486
00:21:04,762 --> 00:21:08,598
I haven't been romantically
involved in eight years
487
00:21:08,633 --> 00:21:12,185
and I'm not about to break
my streak right now.
488
00:21:12,219 --> 00:21:14,371
Hey, look, but we, uh...
we did have fun
489
00:21:14,406 --> 00:21:16,907
talking on the phone
the other day, didn't we?
490
00:21:16,941 --> 00:21:19,009
I mean, that
was sort of special.
491
00:21:19,043 --> 00:21:21,094
Hey, look, I swear
I'm not that comfortable
492
00:21:21,128 --> 00:21:22,529
with that many people.
493
00:21:23,731 --> 00:21:26,232
I just think that we
could get to be friends.
494
00:21:26,267 --> 00:21:28,118
I can't believe you came
all the way back here
495
00:21:28,152 --> 00:21:29,720
just because
you forgot to give me
496
00:21:29,754 --> 00:21:31,321
the "let's be friends" speech.
497
00:21:31,355 --> 00:21:32,690
Hey, can we drop that?
498
00:21:32,724 --> 00:21:37,060
I just think I'd like to get
to know you better, that's all.
499
00:21:37,095 --> 00:21:38,328
You want me to open up?
500
00:21:38,362 --> 00:21:40,997
Would that
make you happy?
501
00:21:41,032 --> 00:21:42,815
Make you feel like
502
00:21:42,850 --> 00:21:46,386
you did your good deed
for the day?
503
00:21:46,421 --> 00:21:47,787
Okay. Okay.
504
00:21:47,821 --> 00:21:49,389
But then you better plan on
sticking around.
505
00:21:49,424 --> 00:21:50,924
Because I'm not standing here
alone
506
00:21:50,958 --> 00:21:53,593
with my insides on the floor,
while you walk out
507
00:21:53,627 --> 00:21:55,929
feeling you did
the poor fat girl some big favor
508
00:21:55,963 --> 00:21:58,665
by helping her get in touch
with her feelings.
509
00:22:01,085 --> 00:22:02,719
You want to be a hero?
510
00:22:02,753 --> 00:22:04,188
Then be prepared
to stick around
511
00:22:04,222 --> 00:22:05,822
for the rest of the war, okay?
512
00:22:07,024 --> 00:22:08,758
Maybe I will.
513
00:22:08,793 --> 00:22:10,259
But can we start slower--
514
00:22:10,294 --> 00:22:11,845
like where we went
to high school
515
00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:14,515
and then we'll work up
to your insides on the floor?
516
00:22:20,154 --> 00:22:25,225
Hey, Angela, I think we had
a normal moment there.
517
00:22:25,260 --> 00:22:26,560
Huh?
518
00:22:28,963 --> 00:22:30,697
Well, listen, uh,
you don't mind
519
00:22:30,732 --> 00:22:32,031
if I get a little clear
520
00:22:32,066 --> 00:22:34,234
on what we're trying
to establish here.
521
00:22:34,269 --> 00:22:36,236
It wouldn't make you nuts,
would it?
522
00:22:36,271 --> 00:22:38,104
No, it would not
make me nuts.
523
00:22:42,310 --> 00:22:43,510
So, uh...
524
00:22:43,544 --> 00:22:45,979
so, what it is, is, is...
525
00:22:46,013 --> 00:22:49,949
I could call you
whenever I feel like it?
526
00:22:49,984 --> 00:22:53,353
If I need advice,
I could call you?
527
00:22:53,388 --> 00:22:55,889
Yeah.
528
00:22:57,241 --> 00:23:01,111
Uh... if you need advice,
you could call me?
529
00:23:01,145 --> 00:23:02,962
Yup.
530
00:23:02,997 --> 00:23:06,417
If we have something
interesting happening
531
00:23:06,451 --> 00:23:08,652
we could call each other?
532
00:23:08,686 --> 00:23:11,037
Yeah.
533
00:23:11,071 --> 00:23:13,874
We could call
just to shoot the breeze?
534
00:23:14,992 --> 00:23:16,226
Yeah.
535
00:23:17,595 --> 00:23:18,728
Yup.
536
00:23:18,763 --> 00:23:22,916
Or, uh...
537
00:23:22,950 --> 00:23:26,386
if I just need a hug?
538
00:23:40,034 --> 00:23:44,087
Uh, you know how long
it's been since I cried?
539
00:23:44,121 --> 00:23:45,989
No.
540
00:23:46,023 --> 00:23:47,857
A half an hour.
541
00:23:59,503 --> 00:24:02,272
( theme music playing )
542
00:24:26,614 --> 00:24:28,131
WOMAN:
Night, Mr. Walters.
543
00:24:28,165 --> 00:24:29,265
( grunts )
40229
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