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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,100 --> 00:00:04,223 What is gout? 2 00:00:04,248 --> 00:00:06,163 Are you a 15th century British monarch? 3 00:00:06,188 --> 00:00:06,965 No. 4 00:00:06,990 --> 00:00:08,002 You don't have it. 5 00:00:08,027 --> 00:00:09,027 Hmm. 6 00:00:09,391 --> 00:00:11,408 God, there's like 5,000 questions. 7 00:00:11,433 --> 00:00:12,864 You're a city employee now. 8 00:00:12,889 --> 00:00:15,465 Half your life is gonna be paperwork, congrats. 9 00:00:15,490 --> 00:00:19,072 Hey, is it okay if I put you down as my emergency contact? 10 00:00:19,097 --> 00:00:21,247 Well, since I'm the guy most likely to harm you, 11 00:00:21,272 --> 00:00:22,601 it seems like a conflict of interest. 12 00:00:22,625 --> 00:00:23,665 Truck 12. 13 00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:25,592 Resident reporting problem with rabbits. 14 00:00:25,617 --> 00:00:27,025 907 Maple Lane. 15 00:00:28,369 --> 00:00:32,254 Question, have subjects been observed as... wascaly? 16 00:00:33,951 --> 00:00:35,746 Are you going or not? 17 00:00:35,771 --> 00:00:38,921 Yes. We'll hop right on over. 18 00:00:38,946 --> 00:00:40,095 That's it, get out. 19 00:00:40,546 --> 00:00:41,367 What? 20 00:00:41,392 --> 00:00:42,195 We talked about this, 21 00:00:42,220 --> 00:00:43,537 two lame jokes before coffee, get out. 22 00:00:43,561 --> 00:00:45,521 Wait, really? You were serious about that? 23 00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:47,137 As a heart attack. 24 00:00:47,162 --> 00:00:49,411 Hey. Come on. 25 00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:51,805 You're taking this too far, Frank. 26 00:00:53,111 --> 00:00:56,454 You can come back! I learned my lesson! 27 00:00:57,329 --> 00:00:59,403 No jokes before coffee! 28 00:01:10,976 --> 00:01:12,976 Resync By M_I_S www.opensubtitles.org 29 00:01:29,395 --> 00:01:32,638 So, I've been micro-dosing mushrooms for anxiety 30 00:01:32,663 --> 00:01:36,331 but my rabbits have gotten into my special chocolate bars. 31 00:01:36,371 --> 00:01:39,039 Oh, that was faster than I thought. 32 00:01:39,064 --> 00:01:41,155 This gentleman's bunnies ate his drugs. 33 00:01:41,180 --> 00:01:43,220 They've been acting really aggressive. 34 00:01:44,763 --> 00:01:46,413 They look pretty chill to me. 35 00:01:46,461 --> 00:01:51,740 Yeah, but in a circling the wagon conspiratorial sort of way. 36 00:01:51,855 --> 00:01:54,856 Look at them. Plotting something evil. 37 00:01:54,881 --> 00:01:57,639 Okay. So the rabbits are handling their high 38 00:01:57,664 --> 00:01:58,784 better than their owner, 39 00:01:58,809 --> 00:02:01,551 but sure, we'll take them in for observation. 40 00:02:01,576 --> 00:02:04,244 Hey hippies! Sorry, summer of love is over. 41 00:02:04,269 --> 00:02:05,918 Time to sleep it off downtown. 42 00:02:07,299 --> 00:02:09,087 What is happening? 43 00:02:09,112 --> 00:02:11,671 Hey! Ow! 44 00:02:11,696 --> 00:02:14,530 Jeez! My God! Come on! Ow! 45 00:02:14,555 --> 00:02:17,222 Retreat, retreat! Jeez! 46 00:02:17,247 --> 00:02:19,813 I told you, they're in a very bad headspace. 47 00:02:19,838 --> 00:02:22,411 What the hell did you put in that chocolate? 48 00:02:22,436 --> 00:02:23,579 I used to be a cop. 49 00:02:23,604 --> 00:02:25,456 I busted international crime rings. 50 00:02:25,481 --> 00:02:26,431 And I'm getting... 51 00:02:26,456 --> 00:02:27,684 - Hey. - I thought you were brave. 52 00:02:27,708 --> 00:02:29,265 You guys know about this taco truck up the street? 53 00:02:29,267 --> 00:02:31,877 The breakfast burritos... four stars. 54 00:02:32,103 --> 00:02:33,564 What's up with the first-aid kit? 55 00:02:33,588 --> 00:02:36,342 It's, uh, killer bunnies on recreational drugs, bro. 56 00:02:36,367 --> 00:02:37,808 Really? What kind? 57 00:02:37,833 --> 00:02:39,737 You know, like, basic, floppy-eared, fluffy. 58 00:02:39,761 --> 00:02:41,852 No, no, the drugs. What kinds of drugs? 59 00:02:41,854 --> 00:02:44,522 It's like psychedelic mushrooms. 60 00:02:44,547 --> 00:02:46,547 The homeowner makes his own chocolates. 61 00:02:46,572 --> 00:02:48,965 Really? Did he mention if it was straight 62 00:02:48,990 --> 00:02:50,954 or if it was cut with purity-tested MDMA? 63 00:02:50,979 --> 00:02:52,019 Did he mention that? 64 00:02:52,044 --> 00:02:53,543 Look, this isn't Bonnaroo. 65 00:02:53,608 --> 00:02:56,130 These rabbits are higher than my uncle at Thanksgiving 66 00:02:56,155 --> 00:02:57,460 and they're calling the shots. 67 00:02:57,462 --> 00:03:00,780 Everybody relax, okay? I got a couple rabbits at home. 68 00:03:00,782 --> 00:03:02,057 I speak fluent bunny. 69 00:03:04,015 --> 00:03:05,418 I mean, you might wanna film this. 70 00:03:05,443 --> 00:03:07,443 Could be a valuable teaching tool. 71 00:03:08,190 --> 00:03:10,858 Hey guys. How are you doing? 72 00:03:10,883 --> 00:03:15,029 You know I have two rabbits at home, Snowball and Batman. 73 00:03:15,054 --> 00:03:17,630 Yeah, we let the kids name them. 74 00:03:17,632 --> 00:03:21,368 And they are just as cute and adorable... 75 00:03:22,579 --> 00:03:23,970 as you, uh-huh. 76 00:03:23,972 --> 00:03:26,230 That Phyllis, she's the mama. 77 00:03:26,255 --> 00:03:28,734 Oh, aren't you a little love muffin? 78 00:03:31,767 --> 00:03:33,530 Oh! Get off me, you mangy bitch! 79 00:03:33,590 --> 00:03:35,384 Hey Shred, you're always trying to be smarter. 80 00:03:35,408 --> 00:03:37,650 Look up "hoisted on one's own petard" 81 00:03:37,652 --> 00:03:39,910 and it will literally be a picture of this. 82 00:03:39,935 --> 00:03:40,935 Argh!!! 83 00:03:42,817 --> 00:03:44,385 Uh, should we call for backup? 84 00:03:44,410 --> 00:03:45,410 Bunny backup? 85 00:03:45,435 --> 00:03:47,094 Dude, do you have any idea of the ridicule 86 00:03:47,119 --> 00:03:47,994 that will come our way? 87 00:03:47,996 --> 00:03:50,111 No. We got this. 88 00:03:50,832 --> 00:03:54,359 Cuddle time is over. 89 00:04:07,827 --> 00:04:11,328 Hey. So, we're gonna need to collect the medicated chocolate 90 00:04:11,353 --> 00:04:15,204 for our vet so she can calibrate an overdose treatment. 91 00:04:15,281 --> 00:04:17,734 Right, of course. Anything to help. 92 00:04:17,759 --> 00:04:18,759 And, um, look, 93 00:04:18,784 --> 00:04:20,647 I know I shouldn't be messing around with drugs. 94 00:04:20,671 --> 00:04:23,287 I'm gonna turn over a new leaf right now. 95 00:04:23,365 --> 00:04:25,758 Yeah. Drugs are bad. 96 00:04:25,783 --> 00:04:27,864 Uh, make sure you get all of them. 97 00:04:29,538 --> 00:04:31,462 You should be ashamed of yourself. 98 00:04:31,540 --> 00:04:33,351 No, I'm not. Not even a little bit. 99 00:04:33,375 --> 00:04:37,319 I suspect his bars contain psilocybin and 2CB. 100 00:04:37,395 --> 00:04:39,448 That combination is known to give you orgasms 101 00:04:39,472 --> 00:04:41,825 and make you feel like you've been launched into outer space. 102 00:04:41,849 --> 00:04:45,037 And rabbits have no business experiencing pleasure like that. 103 00:04:45,062 --> 00:04:46,277 Okay. Just remember, 104 00:04:46,302 --> 00:04:47,922 you promised to watch the kids this weekend, okay? 105 00:04:47,946 --> 00:04:49,049 And they're very excited, 106 00:04:49,074 --> 00:04:51,138 they picked out a movie and everything, Freaky Friday. 107 00:04:51,162 --> 00:04:52,202 It's a silly premise 108 00:04:52,227 --> 00:04:53,722 but, uh, the emotion really sneaks up on you. 109 00:04:53,746 --> 00:04:54,614 - Yeah. I... - It does. 110 00:04:54,639 --> 00:04:55,895 - I will be there. - Okay. 111 00:04:55,897 --> 00:04:57,367 The chocolates are for tonight. 112 00:04:57,392 --> 00:04:58,979 Do you remember that guy I met in Costa Rica? 113 00:04:59,003 --> 00:05:00,823 Yeah. The... the yogi or the surfer? 114 00:05:00,848 --> 00:05:01,577 The yogi. 115 00:05:01,602 --> 00:05:03,687 So, he's in town, but he's only free for one night. 116 00:05:03,712 --> 00:05:04,390 Mmhmm. 117 00:05:04,415 --> 00:05:07,567 He's really flexible. Just, like... not with his time. 118 00:05:07,592 --> 00:05:08,431 Right. 119 00:05:08,456 --> 00:05:10,352 Anyway, what are you guys up to for your big date? 120 00:05:10,354 --> 00:05:12,742 Oh, we're actually gonna go eat Swedish meatballs at Ikea. 121 00:05:12,767 --> 00:05:13,749 And test out futons. 122 00:05:13,774 --> 00:05:15,756 I know it sounds pathetic but I'm actually really excited. 123 00:05:15,780 --> 00:05:18,009 Maya and I, we haven't been alone together in, like, months. 124 00:05:18,033 --> 00:05:19,005 - Yeah. - Yeah. 125 00:05:19,029 --> 00:05:21,771 Don't be insulted but I'm so glad I don't have your life. 126 00:05:21,773 --> 00:05:24,591 Well, you're tempting fate 'cause we could end up 127 00:05:24,593 --> 00:05:27,189 accidentally eating magic fortune cookies 128 00:05:27,214 --> 00:05:28,927 and end up switching places. 129 00:05:29,280 --> 00:05:31,075 Is that what happens in the movie? 130 00:05:31,099 --> 00:05:32,603 I don't wanna ruin it for you. 131 00:05:32,628 --> 00:05:35,290 You just did like... like you told me the ending. 132 00:05:35,315 --> 00:05:36,871 Maybe I didn't though. 133 00:05:37,787 --> 00:05:39,507 - Or maybe I did. - Huh. 134 00:05:43,278 --> 00:05:45,880 Oh, at least it's donut Wednesday. 135 00:05:49,312 --> 00:05:51,071 What abomination is this? 136 00:05:51,096 --> 00:05:53,675 Who's day is it? I want answers. 137 00:05:53,700 --> 00:05:54,866 I want revenge. 138 00:05:54,891 --> 00:05:57,011 Okay. But is it okay if I have some jicama? 139 00:05:57,036 --> 00:05:58,369 'Cause I love jicama. 140 00:05:58,394 --> 00:06:01,294 No. I want revenge. Shout it with me. 141 00:06:01,319 --> 00:06:02,585 - Revenge! - Revenge! 142 00:06:02,610 --> 00:06:03,408 Revenge! 143 00:06:03,433 --> 00:06:05,492 You make it sound playful. Put some fury behind it. 144 00:06:05,519 --> 00:06:06,813 - Revenge! - Revenge! 145 00:06:06,838 --> 00:06:08,288 - Revenge! - Revenge! 146 00:06:08,313 --> 00:06:08,813 Revenge! 147 00:06:08,838 --> 00:06:12,743 Shh! I'm on the phone with my daughter's teacher. 148 00:06:14,216 --> 00:06:15,459 There's been a horrible accident, 149 00:06:15,483 --> 00:06:16,982 I gotta call you back. 150 00:06:17,084 --> 00:06:18,008 Revenge. 151 00:06:18,033 --> 00:06:19,107 - Revenge! - Revenge! 152 00:06:19,132 --> 00:06:20,315 - Revenge! - Revenge! 153 00:06:20,340 --> 00:06:21,984 Okay, I proudly take responsibility. 154 00:06:22,009 --> 00:06:24,908 Donut Wednesday, Delores. It's a sacred tradition. 155 00:06:24,933 --> 00:06:26,911 Handed down to us by the Romans. 156 00:06:26,936 --> 00:06:29,538 You defiled this holy tabernacle with your cru d'été. 157 00:06:29,563 --> 00:06:32,103 This is our tabernacle, Delores. 158 00:06:32,128 --> 00:06:33,814 Okay. This office has a serious case 159 00:06:33,839 --> 00:06:35,467 of the late morning sugar blues 160 00:06:35,492 --> 00:06:37,342 and someone had to intervene. 161 00:06:37,367 --> 00:06:40,100 How dare you act unilaterally. 162 00:06:40,125 --> 00:06:42,345 It's America. It's donuts. 163 00:06:42,724 --> 00:06:43,776 Shred, throw that away. 164 00:06:43,801 --> 00:06:44,524 - Oh, come on. - Throw it away. 165 00:06:44,549 --> 00:06:45,567 It's just a jicama stick. 166 00:06:45,592 --> 00:06:47,166 Throw it away. Spit it out. 167 00:06:47,191 --> 00:06:48,351 This is very disappointing. 168 00:06:48,376 --> 00:06:51,342 How's my favorite under-performing precinct doing? 169 00:06:51,367 --> 00:06:53,787 Oh, you sad, sad man. 170 00:06:53,812 --> 00:06:56,056 You drove across town just to make fun of us for the rabbits. 171 00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:57,990 What rabbits? I didn't hear anything about rabbits. 172 00:06:58,014 --> 00:07:00,939 Ha! Because there were no rabbits. 173 00:07:01,768 --> 00:07:03,509 Hey Emily. Got your speech ready? 174 00:07:03,534 --> 00:07:04,797 Who told you about that? 175 00:07:04,822 --> 00:07:07,517 She's giving the keynote at the AACL luncheon today. 176 00:07:07,542 --> 00:07:10,125 Whoa. I don't know what it stands for but congrats. 177 00:07:10,159 --> 00:07:11,632 Why didn't you tell us? 178 00:07:11,657 --> 00:07:12,990 I... I just get a little nervous 179 00:07:13,015 --> 00:07:14,993 so I just wanted to keep it under the radar. 180 00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:16,126 That's why I'm here. 181 00:07:16,151 --> 00:07:19,197 I spoke last year and, whoo... stressful. 182 00:07:19,222 --> 00:07:21,646 And I know how much you hate public speaking, so... 183 00:07:21,671 --> 00:07:24,748 Yeah, but I've been practicing so I think I'll be good. 184 00:07:24,773 --> 00:07:25,855 Of course. 185 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:28,114 No worry, it's just a couple hundred people in the audience. 186 00:07:28,138 --> 00:07:29,302 - And, uh... - Uh-huh. 187 00:07:29,327 --> 00:07:31,381 They film it and post it on their website 188 00:07:31,406 --> 00:07:32,659 and it's up there forever. 189 00:07:32,712 --> 00:07:34,612 So, nobody looks at it. Yes, they do. 190 00:07:35,182 --> 00:07:37,182 I watched your speech, Templeton. 191 00:07:37,207 --> 00:07:39,909 - Several times, so funny. - Big fan. 192 00:07:39,934 --> 00:07:42,388 What kind of truck does a pig drive? 193 00:07:42,413 --> 00:07:43,520 A hambulance. 194 00:07:43,545 --> 00:07:44,694 Ah, that line killed. 195 00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:48,363 Anyway, uh, happy to step in for you 196 00:07:48,388 --> 00:07:50,759 and I promise you the audience will not be disappointed. 197 00:07:50,784 --> 00:07:52,042 Thank you so much. 198 00:07:52,067 --> 00:07:54,309 Uh, but shouldn't you be on patrol or something? 199 00:07:54,334 --> 00:07:55,667 Heading out now. 200 00:07:55,745 --> 00:07:58,180 Oh! What's that? 201 00:07:58,907 --> 00:08:02,753 Looks like I have an email that is stuck in my outbox. 202 00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:05,692 Boom! 203 00:08:05,717 --> 00:08:07,534 Fixed it. Enjoy. 204 00:08:08,395 --> 00:08:12,414 A gleefully vindictive message from Officer Templeton Dutch. 205 00:08:12,439 --> 00:08:14,681 That jerk got a hold of our body-cam footage. 206 00:08:14,706 --> 00:08:16,631 Oh, he did know about the rabbits. 207 00:08:16,656 --> 00:08:17,656 Ugh. 208 00:08:17,708 --> 00:08:18,810 Look at you guys running away 209 00:08:18,834 --> 00:08:20,501 from the li'l rabbits! 210 00:08:20,526 --> 00:08:21,747 We were regrouping! 211 00:08:21,772 --> 00:08:23,322 Are you... are you... are you kidding me?! 212 00:08:23,346 --> 00:08:25,905 What... what are these, green peppers?! 213 00:08:25,930 --> 00:08:27,816 Okay. I support healthy choices, Delores, 214 00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:29,524 but it is donut Wednesday. 215 00:08:29,565 --> 00:08:33,459 I am stressed and I need sugar so you need to fix this. 216 00:08:34,635 --> 00:08:35,617 Revenge! 217 00:08:35,642 --> 00:08:37,322 Revenge! 218 00:08:40,972 --> 00:08:43,340 Hey. Hey. 219 00:08:43,365 --> 00:08:44,820 Try not to let Templeton get in your head. 220 00:08:44,844 --> 00:08:48,642 Oh yeah, uh, too late. Uh, he is... he is in there. 221 00:08:48,667 --> 00:08:50,011 Okay, listen. 222 00:08:50,036 --> 00:08:52,692 I used to get really nervous before big competitions. 223 00:08:52,717 --> 00:08:53,736 Like, it got bad. 224 00:08:53,761 --> 00:08:56,228 So I remember my coach hooked me up with this sports psychologist 225 00:08:56,252 --> 00:08:58,579 who gave me some cool relaxation techniques. 226 00:08:58,604 --> 00:09:00,004 If you wanna try. 227 00:09:00,029 --> 00:09:01,177 Okay. 228 00:09:01,202 --> 00:09:02,307 - Yeah? - Yeah, okay. 229 00:09:02,332 --> 00:09:04,263 'Cause my heart is um... really pounding. 230 00:09:04,288 --> 00:09:06,471 Okay. Um, so, close your eyes. 231 00:09:06,496 --> 00:09:07,512 Yeah. 232 00:09:07,537 --> 00:09:11,172 Take a deep breath and imagine yourself on a mountain. 233 00:09:11,518 --> 00:09:12,885 Now, you're about to start a race 234 00:09:12,910 --> 00:09:15,008 against this big-ass Swiss dude. 235 00:09:15,033 --> 00:09:17,079 Wait. No. Sorry. 236 00:09:17,156 --> 00:09:19,508 Visualize yourself giving the speech. 237 00:09:19,533 --> 00:09:23,570 Confident, calm, looking super fly in your business suit 238 00:09:23,595 --> 00:09:25,902 and the crowd is loving it. 239 00:09:25,927 --> 00:09:30,976 They're chanting your name. Emily! Emily! Emily! 240 00:09:31,001 --> 00:09:33,578 Well, it's a professional conference 241 00:09:33,603 --> 00:09:35,665 so there's not really a whole lot of chanting. 242 00:09:35,690 --> 00:09:37,023 No chanting? 243 00:09:37,048 --> 00:09:38,527 - No. - That's too bad. 244 00:09:39,373 --> 00:09:41,855 Okay. Then just visualize yourself 245 00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:43,831 absolutely crushing the speech. 246 00:09:43,856 --> 00:09:44,964 Okay. 247 00:09:46,583 --> 00:09:48,091 How's your heart rate? 248 00:09:50,631 --> 00:09:53,632 It is actually better. 249 00:09:53,657 --> 00:09:55,280 You're gonna medal for sure. 250 00:09:58,975 --> 00:10:01,384 Oh, um... remind me. 251 00:10:01,627 --> 00:10:05,200 In my outfit you said I looked, um... 252 00:10:05,225 --> 00:10:06,351 Super fly. 253 00:10:06,376 --> 00:10:08,443 Super fly. Right, okay. 254 00:10:15,527 --> 00:10:18,731 Okay. Only one big question left. 255 00:10:18,756 --> 00:10:22,163 Who's going to step up and be my emergency contact? 256 00:10:22,824 --> 00:10:24,640 Don't you have family you can ask? 257 00:10:24,665 --> 00:10:27,335 My dad died and my mom moved to Florida. 258 00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:29,271 But she's got a sweet condo on the beach 259 00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:32,281 and she says any time I wanna bring down my emergency contact 260 00:10:32,306 --> 00:10:34,700 for a little sand and sea, she has a room waiting. 261 00:10:34,725 --> 00:10:36,911 Oh. Well, I hope you and that guy without boundaries 262 00:10:36,936 --> 00:10:38,586 have fun with your mom. 263 00:10:38,611 --> 00:10:41,796 No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no! 264 00:10:41,821 --> 00:10:45,219 Guys, who ate one of my chocolate bars? 265 00:10:45,244 --> 00:10:47,209 There were three and now there's two. 266 00:10:47,234 --> 00:10:49,131 And they were hidden way at the back 267 00:10:49,156 --> 00:10:50,591 with my frickin' name on it. 268 00:10:50,616 --> 00:10:52,210 If your name's on it, that's sacrosanct. 269 00:10:52,235 --> 00:10:53,420 You can look that word up, Shred. 270 00:10:53,444 --> 00:10:54,564 Sacrosanct... 271 00:10:54,589 --> 00:10:56,565 Although I did eat Patel's ice cream bar. 272 00:10:56,590 --> 00:11:00,006 What? I was saving that for my end of the week treat! 273 00:11:00,031 --> 00:11:01,514 Oh, you were intolerable yesterday. 274 00:11:01,539 --> 00:11:02,796 It demanded a response. 275 00:11:02,821 --> 00:11:05,502 Why? Because I said the Mariners don't have a shot this year? 276 00:11:05,527 --> 00:11:07,541 Say it again and you can kiss your tuna sandwich goodbye. 277 00:11:07,565 --> 00:11:08,634 The Mariners don't have a shot this year. 278 00:11:08,658 --> 00:11:10,302 Oh, that tuna sandwich is gonna taste... 279 00:11:10,327 --> 00:11:11,149 The Mariners don't have a shot. 280 00:11:11,174 --> 00:11:12,298 The Mariners don't have a shot... 281 00:11:12,322 --> 00:11:13,611 Okay, I think we're done here. 282 00:11:13,636 --> 00:11:15,916 I need to know who ate my chocolate bar. 283 00:11:15,941 --> 00:11:17,705 Shred, check the waste baskets now. 284 00:11:17,730 --> 00:11:18,673 Thanks. Great. 285 00:11:18,698 --> 00:11:20,180 Uh, those chocolate bars were laced 286 00:11:20,205 --> 00:11:21,621 with high-grade hallucinogenics. 287 00:11:21,646 --> 00:11:23,221 Have you seen double rainbow? 288 00:11:23,246 --> 00:11:25,540 Someone's about to be 10 times more like that guy 289 00:11:25,565 --> 00:11:26,415 than that guy was. 290 00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:29,247 Hey. Did Emily make it back? 291 00:11:30,227 --> 00:11:31,483 Uh... I'm not sure. 292 00:11:31,508 --> 00:11:32,652 I was gonna give her a ride 293 00:11:32,677 --> 00:11:34,924 but she ran off after her presentation. 294 00:11:34,949 --> 00:11:35,989 Um... can this wait? 295 00:11:36,014 --> 00:11:38,101 It's just, we're in the middle of a bit of a crisis. 296 00:11:38,126 --> 00:11:40,965 It's just weird because her speech went so well. 297 00:11:40,990 --> 00:11:43,889 She was funny, talking off the cuff... 298 00:11:43,914 --> 00:11:45,488 she even sang at one point. 299 00:11:46,431 --> 00:11:48,023 Oh God. 300 00:11:48,048 --> 00:11:49,681 Emily ate the chocolate. 301 00:11:49,706 --> 00:11:50,755 All of it? 302 00:11:50,780 --> 00:11:52,288 It looks that way, yeah. 303 00:11:53,009 --> 00:11:54,009 Code red. 304 00:11:54,061 --> 00:11:55,919 My thin mints are missing, gone without a trace. 305 00:11:55,943 --> 00:11:57,184 She's binging. 306 00:11:57,209 --> 00:11:59,236 Actually, I threw the cookies out. 307 00:11:59,261 --> 00:12:00,443 You'll thank me later. 308 00:12:00,468 --> 00:12:03,451 Actually, I will not thank you. I will not thank you, Delores! 309 00:12:03,476 --> 00:12:06,975 I want my own refrigerator. 'Kay? 310 00:12:07,082 --> 00:12:09,753 Delores, I want my own refrigerator! 311 00:12:13,096 --> 00:12:14,746 So, who's your emergency contact? 312 00:12:14,771 --> 00:12:15,861 My father. 313 00:12:15,886 --> 00:12:17,925 Aww, I didn't know you were close with your dad. 314 00:12:17,950 --> 00:12:19,447 We're not. I hate that son of a bitch. 315 00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:20,903 Then why did you choose him? 316 00:12:20,928 --> 00:12:23,073 Well, if something happens to me, he's on the hook. 317 00:12:23,098 --> 00:12:24,098 With any luck, 318 00:12:24,123 --> 00:12:26,804 I'll be a vegetable requiring 24-hour care. 319 00:12:26,829 --> 00:12:29,475 That makes me sad, bro. My dad was my best friend. 320 00:12:29,500 --> 00:12:30,942 Yeah, of course he was. 321 00:12:30,967 --> 00:12:32,800 My only regret is I never got to tell him 322 00:12:32,825 --> 00:12:34,083 how much he meant to me. 323 00:12:34,108 --> 00:12:35,896 I mean, he probably knew because I told him 324 00:12:35,921 --> 00:12:36,946 I loved him every day. 325 00:12:36,971 --> 00:12:38,132 Except when my phone died, 326 00:12:38,157 --> 00:12:40,144 which happened a lot when I was competing in Europe 327 00:12:40,168 --> 00:12:42,073 'cause I didn't have the right plugs. 328 00:12:42,098 --> 00:12:44,690 Point is... don't leave things unsaid. 329 00:12:44,715 --> 00:12:46,274 Call your dad. 330 00:12:48,053 --> 00:12:49,629 You know, they make those three-in-one adapters. 331 00:12:49,653 --> 00:12:51,410 They have for years. 332 00:12:51,435 --> 00:12:52,435 Really? 333 00:12:54,101 --> 00:12:55,543 Now I have two regrets. 334 00:12:55,568 --> 00:12:58,681 Truck 12. Pet python escaped its enclosure. 335 00:12:58,706 --> 00:13:00,539 7276 South Kenwood. 336 00:13:00,564 --> 00:13:02,914 And get this. It's JT Wallace's house. 337 00:13:02,939 --> 00:13:04,848 Holy crap. JT Wallace. 338 00:13:04,873 --> 00:13:06,039 Oh, who's that? 339 00:13:06,064 --> 00:13:07,396 Are you serious? 340 00:13:07,421 --> 00:13:09,530 The wide receiver for the Seahawks? 341 00:13:09,555 --> 00:13:12,297 In what world could I have been your emergency contact? 342 00:13:12,322 --> 00:13:13,322 Get out. 343 00:13:13,347 --> 00:13:14,772 What, really? We're doing this again? 344 00:13:14,796 --> 00:13:16,716 I'm not... I can't even look at you. 345 00:13:22,045 --> 00:13:23,520 Don't look at me! 346 00:13:25,863 --> 00:13:27,898 How the hell are we gonna find her? 347 00:13:27,943 --> 00:13:28,851 I don't know. 348 00:13:28,876 --> 00:13:30,662 It's just like looking for someone's lost mutt. 349 00:13:30,686 --> 00:13:34,245 Oh, so we put out some beef strips and stand behind a bush? 350 00:13:34,270 --> 00:13:35,604 I know you're kidding but do you have beef strips? 351 00:13:35,628 --> 00:13:36,552 Everything I was gonna eat today 352 00:13:36,577 --> 00:13:37,935 got senselessly ripped away from me. 353 00:13:37,959 --> 00:13:40,425 No. I don't eat gassy foods on sex days. 354 00:13:40,450 --> 00:13:41,834 Ooh, how's it going with the yogi by the way? 355 00:13:41,858 --> 00:13:42,819 Do you like him? 356 00:13:42,844 --> 00:13:43,979 As a person? 357 00:13:44,348 --> 00:13:46,108 He's done so much healing 358 00:13:46,133 --> 00:13:48,095 he's healed himself right out of an actual personality. 359 00:13:48,119 --> 00:13:50,991 But in bed, and I say this as someone 360 00:13:51,016 --> 00:13:52,844 with a sufficiently large sample pool, 361 00:13:52,869 --> 00:13:54,536 - Mmmhmm. - Uh, he's detail-oriented. 362 00:13:54,561 --> 00:13:56,118 Hmm. 363 00:13:56,143 --> 00:13:57,788 I used to be detail-oriented. 364 00:13:57,813 --> 00:14:00,222 That was before I was tired all the time. 365 00:14:00,247 --> 00:14:03,415 Maybe you should try some of this. 366 00:14:03,440 --> 00:14:04,607 - No. - I'll give you a little. 367 00:14:04,631 --> 00:14:05,497 No. I can't eat that. 368 00:14:05,522 --> 00:14:06,764 Yes, you can. Give it a shot. 369 00:14:06,822 --> 00:14:08,488 It makes everything feel amazing 370 00:14:08,513 --> 00:14:09,749 and you're not really doing anything different. 371 00:14:09,773 --> 00:14:11,123 It's almost like cheating. 372 00:14:11,676 --> 00:14:13,062 My life's not built for that. 373 00:14:13,087 --> 00:14:15,643 Every night I'm taking a kid to the ER. 374 00:14:15,668 --> 00:14:17,651 Or talking another one down from a nightmare. 375 00:14:17,676 --> 00:14:19,449 Last night it was global warming. 376 00:14:19,474 --> 00:14:22,141 I can't discuss polar ice caps all high and horny. 377 00:14:22,166 --> 00:14:24,222 Oh, my God. Is that Emily? 378 00:14:26,512 --> 00:14:31,878 Emily! Emily! Emily! Emily! 379 00:14:37,898 --> 00:14:39,794 Even Seahawk colors. 380 00:14:42,506 --> 00:14:43,747 Sheesh. You almost beat me. 381 00:14:43,794 --> 00:14:45,736 Yeah. Asher knows all the shortcuts. 382 00:14:45,761 --> 00:14:48,486 Hey, good luck with your girlfriend, buddy. 383 00:14:48,511 --> 00:14:50,120 I sincerely hope everything works out. 384 00:14:50,145 --> 00:14:52,265 Thank God you're here. Hurry! 385 00:14:54,591 --> 00:14:56,312 He was cleaning the cage. 386 00:14:56,337 --> 00:14:58,229 Holy crap. 387 00:14:58,254 --> 00:14:59,345 It's huge. 388 00:14:59,370 --> 00:15:01,023 Frank, have you ever dealt with something like this before? 389 00:15:01,047 --> 00:15:02,682 No. And I can't tell you how much, 390 00:15:02,707 --> 00:15:04,775 but something that's not nothing just slipped out of me 391 00:15:04,799 --> 00:15:05,596 and into my underwear. 392 00:15:05,664 --> 00:15:07,255 It's getting tighter. 393 00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:09,648 Just remain calm, we're gonna unwind it from you. 394 00:15:09,673 --> 00:15:11,081 Shred, grab the head. 395 00:15:11,106 --> 00:15:13,531 I'm not grabbing the head, man. It's scary and gross. 396 00:15:13,556 --> 00:15:15,443 The Seahawks have a very shallow depth chart, 397 00:15:15,468 --> 00:15:16,224 now grab the head. 398 00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:17,529 I'm not touching that thing. 399 00:15:17,554 --> 00:15:19,297 I was led to believe this job was mostly dogs. 400 00:15:19,321 --> 00:15:20,336 Help him! 401 00:15:20,361 --> 00:15:22,770 This thing is super strong. Grab something, Shred. 402 00:15:22,795 --> 00:15:24,598 Okay. But I'm closing my eyes. 403 00:15:24,623 --> 00:15:26,789 Is this a bad time to tell you that I'm a big fan? 404 00:15:26,814 --> 00:15:27,477 Yes. 405 00:15:27,502 --> 00:15:29,554 Okay. Well, it would just seem phony 406 00:15:29,579 --> 00:15:31,196 if I didn't say anything, right? 407 00:15:31,221 --> 00:15:32,996 Listen, man, you get this thing off me, 408 00:15:33,021 --> 00:15:34,184 I'll sign anything you want. 409 00:15:34,209 --> 00:15:35,801 Really? How about a football? 410 00:15:35,872 --> 00:15:37,016 - Yes. - How about a jersey? 411 00:15:37,060 --> 00:15:37,924 - Yes. - A helmet? 412 00:15:37,949 --> 00:15:38,563 Yes. 413 00:15:38,588 --> 00:15:40,412 What about one of those breast cancer awareness hats- 414 00:15:40,436 --> 00:15:42,005 - Anything! - That are collectible. 415 00:15:44,405 --> 00:15:46,907 Yeah. I thought I was gonna die. 416 00:15:48,132 --> 00:15:50,207 Okay, yeah, yeah... 417 00:15:50,233 --> 00:15:53,401 Oh, my God. It's on me now. 418 00:15:53,706 --> 00:15:56,727 If I don't make it... beat the Rams. 419 00:15:58,984 --> 00:16:00,155 Oh, my god. 420 00:16:00,180 --> 00:16:03,806 Emily! Hey! How's it going, girl? 421 00:16:03,831 --> 00:16:05,642 Oh, man. You are really good out there. 422 00:16:05,667 --> 00:16:06,817 What'd you play in high school? 423 00:16:06,841 --> 00:16:08,819 - Yeah. - What are you guys doing here? 424 00:16:08,844 --> 00:16:10,010 Uh, we, we just, uh... 425 00:16:10,035 --> 00:16:12,115 we just came to take you back to the office. 426 00:16:12,140 --> 00:16:13,140 To the office. 427 00:16:13,165 --> 00:16:17,186 Oh. No. I'm not going back. 428 00:16:17,459 --> 00:16:20,009 Yeah. I'm... I'm never going back. 429 00:16:20,034 --> 00:16:21,117 Bye! 430 00:16:21,142 --> 00:16:23,204 Oh, I hate running. 431 00:16:23,229 --> 00:16:25,213 - Emily! Emily! - Emily!! 432 00:16:25,238 --> 00:16:26,770 My god, she's out of control. 433 00:16:26,795 --> 00:16:28,351 Hello! Emily! Slow down! Stop guys! 434 00:16:28,375 --> 00:16:29,157 Guys, guys, stop her! 435 00:16:29,346 --> 00:16:31,179 Whoo! My whole body's buzzing. 436 00:16:31,309 --> 00:16:32,901 I've never felt more alive! 437 00:16:32,926 --> 00:16:34,835 Dude, that snake had plans for you. 438 00:16:34,860 --> 00:16:35,860 A brush with death 439 00:16:35,885 --> 00:16:38,219 and an encounter with a world-class athlete. 440 00:16:38,388 --> 00:16:40,496 Okay. That's obviously a little bit hurtful. 441 00:16:40,521 --> 00:16:43,658 I came in 7th at Pyeongchang but I know it's a niche sport. 442 00:16:43,772 --> 00:16:46,790 Listen, don't get needy but you were pretty good back there. 443 00:16:46,815 --> 00:16:47,572 Really? 444 00:16:47,597 --> 00:16:48,630 You're already being needy. 445 00:16:48,654 --> 00:16:51,111 I won't say another word. Except that after this, 446 00:16:51,136 --> 00:16:53,566 I can't imagine being in battle with anyone else. 447 00:16:53,591 --> 00:16:55,358 Snake brothers forever! 448 00:16:55,383 --> 00:16:57,722 Oh, 100 percent did this to myself. 449 00:16:58,429 --> 00:16:59,857 - Again? - Give me those forms. 450 00:16:59,882 --> 00:17:02,012 - What? What did I do? - Give me those forms. 451 00:17:02,037 --> 00:17:04,388 - You'll be my emergency contact? - Give them to me. 452 00:17:04,413 --> 00:17:07,914 Don't get hurt 'cause I'm pulling the plug for anything. 453 00:17:07,939 --> 00:17:09,206 Ooooh! 454 00:17:11,087 --> 00:17:12,068 Alright! 455 00:17:12,093 --> 00:17:12,776 Whoo! 456 00:17:12,801 --> 00:17:13,801 Whoo! 457 00:17:13,826 --> 00:17:16,497 I'm finally coming out of my cocoon! 458 00:17:16,522 --> 00:17:17,802 You're high on drugs! 459 00:17:17,827 --> 00:17:20,160 No, I'm high on life! 460 00:17:20,210 --> 00:17:22,710 Life can't do that, that's why we have drugs. 461 00:17:22,795 --> 00:17:23,995 - Ah! - Yes! 462 00:17:24,223 --> 00:17:25,739 No, No. 463 00:17:25,870 --> 00:17:27,104 Oh, here we go. 464 00:17:29,422 --> 00:17:31,283 I mean, I went to Vienna once 465 00:17:31,308 --> 00:17:33,821 but I mostly just stayed in the hotel. 466 00:17:33,846 --> 00:17:35,788 Like, what was I afraid of? 467 00:17:35,994 --> 00:17:38,970 Mmhmm. I can't do this anymore. 468 00:17:38,995 --> 00:17:41,227 I am afraid of so many things. 469 00:17:41,252 --> 00:17:42,280 What does that mean? 470 00:17:42,305 --> 00:17:43,209 You can go. 471 00:17:43,234 --> 00:17:44,328 This is my fault anyway 472 00:17:44,353 --> 00:17:45,648 and I've done this, like, a hundred times. 473 00:17:45,672 --> 00:17:49,289 Listen, if you need anything, anything at all, 474 00:17:49,314 --> 00:17:50,739 just don't call me. 475 00:17:51,591 --> 00:17:52,531 Bye Emily. 476 00:17:52,556 --> 00:17:55,512 Oh, bye-whoa, you have gorgeous teeth. 477 00:17:55,537 --> 00:17:59,524 Thank you. Okay. 478 00:17:59,846 --> 00:18:04,762 Wait. Did you know I can name every country in South America? 479 00:18:04,787 --> 00:18:05,711 No, I didn't. 480 00:18:05,736 --> 00:18:08,495 - Okay. Um, I can. - Okay. 481 00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:09,628 - Venezuela. - Yeah. 482 00:18:09,653 --> 00:18:11,056 - Ecuador. - I deserve this. 483 00:18:11,081 --> 00:18:12,987 Colombia, Paraguay. 484 00:18:18,381 --> 00:18:20,323 Oh, look what the cat dragged in. 485 00:18:20,348 --> 00:18:22,590 It's nice to see you too, Dad. 486 00:18:22,615 --> 00:18:26,517 Look, um... I had a near-death experience today 487 00:18:26,542 --> 00:18:31,211 and, I don't know, I don't wanna die with things left unsaid. 488 00:18:31,236 --> 00:18:32,902 I'm listening. 489 00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:34,478 Anyway, I just wanted you to know 490 00:18:34,503 --> 00:18:35,986 that you're a terrible father 491 00:18:36,011 --> 00:18:39,730 who never had my back and I want you to rot in hell. 492 00:18:43,518 --> 00:18:46,477 So that's it. Those are the two items. 493 00:18:46,850 --> 00:18:48,847 Well look, uh... you came this far, 494 00:18:48,872 --> 00:18:50,618 at least come in and have a beer. 495 00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:52,315 Did you just hear what I said? 496 00:18:52,340 --> 00:18:56,212 Yeah. Bad father and, uh... the rotting thing. 497 00:18:56,237 --> 00:18:57,838 You want a beer or not? 498 00:18:58,541 --> 00:18:59,782 What kind you got? 499 00:18:59,807 --> 00:19:03,106 Rainier. I've been drinking the same beer since I was 12. 500 00:19:03,820 --> 00:19:05,654 You too good for Rainier now? 501 00:19:05,679 --> 00:19:08,097 I've always been too good for Rainier. 502 00:19:08,122 --> 00:19:09,729 What are you, like, 100 now? 503 00:19:10,300 --> 00:19:13,302 French Guyana. Regular Guyana. Chile. 504 00:19:14,439 --> 00:19:15,245 Argentina. 505 00:19:15,270 --> 00:19:16,576 Hang on, I have to get that. 506 00:19:16,601 --> 00:19:17,612 Wait. No, please don't leave me. 507 00:19:17,636 --> 00:19:18,745 No, you'll be fine. You'll be fine. 508 00:19:18,769 --> 00:19:19,586 Eat your cereal. 509 00:19:19,611 --> 00:19:21,868 Sorry, I don't have any milk. I know it's dry. 510 00:19:23,282 --> 00:19:23,863 Hi. 511 00:19:23,888 --> 00:19:25,028 I'm so happy to see you. 512 00:19:25,053 --> 00:19:26,386 Yeah, you too. 513 00:19:26,411 --> 00:19:27,890 As a tantric exercise 514 00:19:27,915 --> 00:19:29,516 I've abstained from sex for three months. 515 00:19:29,541 --> 00:19:32,709 I intend to focus all that stored-up energy on you. 516 00:19:32,734 --> 00:19:35,493 [Emily] Suriname! I forgot Suriname. 517 00:19:35,518 --> 00:19:36,754 - Uh... - Who's that? 518 00:19:36,779 --> 00:19:39,763 Is she going to participate or... just watch? 519 00:19:39,788 --> 00:19:41,768 No. There was an office fridge mix up 520 00:19:41,793 --> 00:19:43,614 and now she's in another dimension. 521 00:19:43,639 --> 00:19:46,510 Uh... I'm gonna have to stay here and take care of her. 522 00:19:46,535 --> 00:19:50,400 But when she comes down I could text you. 523 00:19:50,425 --> 00:19:52,592 Three months is a really long time 524 00:19:52,617 --> 00:19:55,510 and I have a few other friends in Seattle. 525 00:19:55,535 --> 00:19:57,143 But I'll be back in August. 526 00:19:57,845 --> 00:19:58,993 Bye Victoria. 527 00:19:59,161 --> 00:20:00,803 'Kay. Bye. Cool. 528 00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:05,377 - Can I tell you something? - Yeah. Of course. 529 00:20:06,015 --> 00:20:07,164 I only got my job 530 00:20:07,189 --> 00:20:10,726 because of connections in the mayor's office, so... 531 00:20:10,751 --> 00:20:13,847 I don't deserve it, I'm a fraud. 532 00:20:13,872 --> 00:20:15,734 That's not true. That's the drugs talking. 533 00:20:15,759 --> 00:20:17,684 Everyone thinks you're great. 534 00:20:17,815 --> 00:20:20,094 - Really? - Yeah. You're great. 535 00:20:20,858 --> 00:20:21,949 You're my best friend. 536 00:20:21,974 --> 00:20:23,996 Oh, okay. That's... that's really nice. 537 00:20:25,849 --> 00:20:26,849 Hang on. 538 00:20:27,597 --> 00:20:28,412 Hello? 539 00:20:28,437 --> 00:20:29,548 Oh, you were right. 540 00:20:29,573 --> 00:20:31,990 These chocolates are a game-changer. 541 00:20:32,015 --> 00:20:34,150 Maya called her mom, she picked up the kids, 542 00:20:34,175 --> 00:20:35,869 we got the whole night to ourselves. 543 00:20:36,159 --> 00:20:38,902 Wait. Are you seriously calling me post sex? 544 00:20:38,968 --> 00:20:41,309 Yeah, post. Pre. Pre-pre. 545 00:20:41,334 --> 00:20:42,195 You never know. 546 00:20:42,220 --> 00:20:44,240 Oh, Victoria, you're gonna need to hold me. 547 00:20:44,265 --> 00:20:46,731 I'm starting to panic about climate change. 548 00:20:47,385 --> 00:20:50,587 Oh, my God. We ate the fortune cookies. 549 00:20:50,612 --> 00:20:53,564 Oh, and they were mighty delicious. 550 00:20:53,589 --> 00:20:55,693 Freaky Friday baby! 551 00:20:55,718 --> 00:20:58,062 ♪ Always count on me -Oh boy. 552 00:20:58,087 --> 00:20:59,231 Hello Mister Mayor. 553 00:20:59,256 --> 00:21:02,849 ♪ Keep turning, oh, keep smiling, ♪ 554 00:21:02,924 --> 00:21:06,610 ♪ knowing you can always count on me. ♪ 555 00:21:06,635 --> 00:21:08,262 ♪ Everybody! For sure! ♪ 556 00:21:08,287 --> 00:21:10,511 Oh, I'm going really, really wide with this. 557 00:21:10,536 --> 00:21:12,519 ♪ That's what friends are for. 558 00:21:12,544 --> 00:21:14,080 Adopt these dogs! 40509

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