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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:05,220 --> 00:01:09,140 -Guess how fast we're going now. -I don't care, I'm having a baby! 2 00:01:09,380 --> 00:01:12,300 Hundred and five miles an hour, you believe that? 3 00:01:17,580 --> 00:01:20,340 Reese, you just passed the hospital! 4 00:01:21,700 --> 00:01:25,180 -The baby's coming, he's coming now! -All right, all right, hold on. 5 00:01:25,420 --> 00:01:28,300 -Okay, but I think he might be stuck. -Grab onto something. Ready? 6 00:01:28,340 --> 00:01:30,460 One, two, three! 7 00:01:36,780 --> 00:01:39,300 It's a baby boy. 8 00:01:41,540 --> 00:01:44,460 I'm happy that Waffle House was okay with me coming here... 9 00:01:44,700 --> 00:01:46,780 ...to talk to y'all about my day-to-day. 10 00:01:47,260 --> 00:01:49,820 And, y'all, that's pretty much, in a shell... 11 00:01:50,060 --> 00:01:52,260 ...what it's like to manage a Waffle House. 12 00:01:52,300 --> 00:01:54,940 Ma'am, I don't know what else you want me to say to them. 13 00:01:55,180 --> 00:01:57,500 And I'm also gonna need to know where your commode's at. 14 00:01:57,740 --> 00:02:00,380 Okay, let's give him a round of applause. Thank you. 15 00:02:01,780 --> 00:02:04,420 Okay, next up is Ricky Bobby. Ricky, is your father here? 16 00:02:04,660 --> 00:02:07,940 No, ma'am. I haven't seen my daddy in years. 17 00:02:08,180 --> 00:02:10,260 But my mama say he's out racing cars... 18 00:02:10,300 --> 00:02:12,740 ...and, well, dipping his wick in anything that moves. 19 00:02:14,180 --> 00:02:17,380 Okay, kids, that's enough. We're gonna move on to Brennan. 20 00:02:17,700 --> 00:02:19,420 Don't pay them no mind, Ricky. 21 00:02:19,660 --> 00:02:22,980 Thanks, Cal. Shake and Bake. You'll be my best friend forever. 22 00:02:23,220 --> 00:02:24,940 --his job is like as a prison guard. 23 00:02:25,980 --> 00:02:27,980 Excuse me, darling. I'm Reese Bobby. 24 00:02:28,220 --> 00:02:30,460 I'm here for career day with my son, Ricky. 25 00:02:31,060 --> 00:02:33,340 -Dad! -Hey there, boy! 26 00:02:33,580 --> 00:02:36,380 Man, you got big. How long's it been? Three, four months? 27 00:02:36,620 --> 00:02:38,500 -Ten years. -Ten years? 28 00:02:38,740 --> 00:02:40,940 Man, I gotta lay off the peyote. 29 00:02:41,180 --> 00:02:42,700 Mr. Bobby, there's no smoking in here. 30 00:02:42,940 --> 00:02:44,660 It's all right, I'm a volunteer fireman. 31 00:02:45,020 --> 00:02:48,620 Okay, I am a semi-professional racecar driver... 32 00:02:48,900 --> 00:02:51,420 ...and an amateur tattoo artist. 33 00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:56,660 And the first thing you gotta learn if you're gonna be a racecar driver... 34 00:02:56,900 --> 00:02:58,340 ...is you don't listen to losers... 35 00:02:58,580 --> 00:03:01,900 -...like your know-it-all teacher here. -Okay, I think that's enough. 36 00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:05,060 Your teacher wants you to go slow, and she's wrong... 37 00:03:05,300 --> 00:03:08,820 ...because it's the fastest who gets paid and it's the fastest who gets laid. 38 00:03:11,820 --> 00:03:14,420 Oh, yeah. You know what I'm talking about. 39 00:03:15,140 --> 00:03:17,060 You people are in the wrong on this one! 40 00:03:17,300 --> 00:03:18,340 So in the wrong! 41 00:03:18,580 --> 00:03:22,340 This is egregious, do you hear me? Egregious! 42 00:03:25,660 --> 00:03:28,940 We were cellmates together, Andy. You got payback coming! 43 00:03:31,340 --> 00:03:32,460 Dad! 44 00:03:32,700 --> 00:03:35,220 Don't listen to these people, Ricky. You're a winner. 45 00:03:35,460 --> 00:03:40,340 You got the gift. Always remember, if you ain't first, you're last. 46 00:03:43,380 --> 00:03:47,100 If you ain't first, you're last. 47 00:03:47,900 --> 00:03:50,300 -See you when you're grown up. -Dad! Come back, Dad! 48 00:04:03,500 --> 00:04:05,140 It's a hot one here in Talladega... 49 00:04:05,380 --> 00:04:09,860 ...and this crowd of over 180,000 is enjoying one heck of a day. 50 00:04:23,980 --> 00:04:27,580 Yo, Terry. Terry, we got the caution. Bring it in for a pit. Let's work on it. 51 00:04:39,140 --> 00:04:41,220 All right, fellas, let's go. 52 00:04:41,300 --> 00:04:43,940 Looking good. Yes, come on. 53 00:04:44,180 --> 00:04:45,300 Keep it up, baby. 54 00:04:46,420 --> 00:04:48,660 -All right, way to go. -Go, way to go. 55 00:04:49,300 --> 00:04:50,380 Nice jack work, Ricky. 56 00:04:50,620 --> 00:04:52,420 Hey, Shake and Bake, Cal. 57 00:04:53,020 --> 00:04:55,620 -Shake and Bake! -Terry, it's all on you, bro. You go. 58 00:04:55,860 --> 00:04:57,980 Go, baby, go. Wait, what are you doing? 59 00:04:58,220 --> 00:05:00,900 -I gotta take a piss. -Go, go, go! 60 00:05:01,180 --> 00:05:03,700 It doesn't matter, Lucius. We're in last place. Relax. 61 00:05:03,980 --> 00:05:06,660 Jeez, I gotta go take a whiz. Get off my ass. 62 00:05:06,900 --> 00:05:08,820 You see, this is what I'm talking about. 63 00:05:09,060 --> 00:05:12,460 That's why this group right here is the laughing stock of NASCAR. 64 00:05:12,700 --> 00:05:14,380 Face it, we suck. 65 00:05:14,420 --> 00:05:18,340 It's not always bad to be in last place. Here's some things we can focus on: 66 00:05:18,380 --> 00:05:21,540 One, we tried hard. And two, we're still dear friends. 67 00:05:21,780 --> 00:05:23,140 Glenn, shut up. 68 00:05:23,380 --> 00:05:25,860 I see Terry. He's having a chicken sandwich. 69 00:05:26,900 --> 00:05:30,860 Hey, fellas! These are really good. You should try one. 70 00:05:31,100 --> 00:05:32,900 That place actually makes a nice sauce. 71 00:05:33,180 --> 00:05:35,340 Let me eat this, then I gotta make a phone call... 72 00:05:35,420 --> 00:05:38,260 -...then I'm coming back, all right? -This is the bottom line. 73 00:05:38,340 --> 00:05:40,300 If we don't get that car back on the track... 74 00:05:40,540 --> 00:05:43,100 ...our sponsors are gonna shit a chicken. 75 00:05:43,380 --> 00:05:48,260 Now, is there anyone out there who wants to go fast? Anybody? 76 00:05:49,900 --> 00:05:51,460 I wanna go fast. 77 00:05:51,700 --> 00:05:55,380 Hey, get him a suit. Hurry up, make it snappy. Let's go. 78 00:05:55,420 --> 00:05:57,780 -Hustle up, hustle up. -Hey, man! 79 00:05:58,100 --> 00:06:01,500 Remember when we got kicked out of biology for playing with Matchbox cars? 80 00:06:01,740 --> 00:06:04,220 -Yeah! -Who's retarded now? 81 00:06:04,460 --> 00:06:07,460 -Yeah. -Hey, what are you doing after this? 82 00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:09,060 -After the race? -Yeah. 83 00:06:09,340 --> 00:06:12,300 I don't know, but it feels like we're wasting a lot of time. 84 00:06:12,340 --> 00:06:14,500 No, I know, I know. I'm just excited, man! 85 00:06:14,740 --> 00:06:18,100 -Yeah, I know. Yeah. -Hey! I love you! 86 00:06:18,340 --> 00:06:19,820 -What? -Nothing. 87 00:06:20,740 --> 00:06:22,820 Shake and Bake! Get some! 88 00:06:23,940 --> 00:06:27,180 You're my best friend! You're my best friend! 89 00:06:27,420 --> 00:06:29,060 -Okay, then! -I'm in there with you! 90 00:06:29,300 --> 00:06:31,140 -I gotta get going! -Go, go! 91 00:06:36,220 --> 00:06:38,380 -Yeah! -That's Ricky, baby! 92 00:06:38,620 --> 00:06:39,900 That's my boy, Ricky! 93 00:06:44,300 --> 00:06:46,420 Hey, Ricky, just remember one thing: 94 00:06:46,700 --> 00:06:49,580 If you wreck that car, that's 200 grand out of your pocket... 95 00:06:49,820 --> 00:06:51,780 ...so let's take it nice and slow, okay? 96 00:06:52,020 --> 00:06:55,700 With all due respect, Lucius, I'm gonna do some driving. 97 00:06:59,020 --> 00:07:00,540 Excuse me, coming through. 98 00:07:02,020 --> 00:07:05,900 Apparently, we've got a situation for the Laughing Clown, number 26 car. 99 00:07:06,140 --> 00:07:08,900 Terry Cheveaux is refusing to drive. One of his crew members... 100 00:07:09,140 --> 00:07:10,380 ...has taken the wheel. 101 00:07:10,420 --> 00:07:13,740 Hey, just wanted to share a little piece of personal information with you. 102 00:07:14,020 --> 00:07:15,220 I got a chubby right now... 103 00:07:15,300 --> 00:07:18,460 ...because this is one of the most awesome experiences of my life... 104 00:07:18,540 --> 00:07:20,260 ...because I'm getting to drive a racecar! 105 00:07:20,340 --> 00:07:23,140 I can't believe it! Oh, my God! 106 00:07:40,820 --> 00:07:42,500 Wow, that was cool. 107 00:07:43,420 --> 00:07:44,580 Come on, come on. 108 00:07:53,180 --> 00:07:54,420 The big story from Talladega: 109 00:07:54,460 --> 00:07:57,860 Little-known jack-man Ricky Bobby places third in the Dennit machine. 110 00:07:58,100 --> 00:08:01,300 Ricky, first of all, where did you learn to drive like that? 111 00:08:01,540 --> 00:08:05,540 In a car. Car handle really good. Yeah. 112 00:08:06,100 --> 00:08:07,460 Can you speak up, Ricky? 113 00:08:07,700 --> 00:08:09,540 A car. It handled real good. 114 00:08:09,780 --> 00:08:12,140 So, what do you think, Mr. Dennit? He sure can drive. 115 00:08:12,380 --> 00:08:15,740 He's got guts. Dennit Racing needs a racer like him. 116 00:08:15,980 --> 00:08:17,660 Come on, Dad. He's just a stupid cowboy. 117 00:08:17,900 --> 00:08:19,420 Look how bad he is in that interview. 118 00:08:19,700 --> 00:08:23,420 Junior, driving has got nothing to do with interviews. 119 00:08:23,500 --> 00:08:26,500 I just wish to hell you had a little more stupid cowboy in you. 120 00:08:26,780 --> 00:08:30,300 I felt like I was on a spaceship and.... 121 00:08:31,460 --> 00:08:33,020 I'm not sure what to do with my hands. 122 00:08:33,260 --> 00:08:35,100 Be good to hold them down by your side. 123 00:08:35,340 --> 00:08:39,340 We're really happy with what was going on. 124 00:08:39,580 --> 00:08:44,420 And at the end of the day, you know, you gotta be happy. 125 00:08:44,460 --> 00:08:48,580 -What did you say his name was again? -His name is Ricky. Ricky Bobby. 126 00:08:48,820 --> 00:08:51,420 Ricky Bobby? He's got two first names. 127 00:08:51,460 --> 00:08:53,460 Whatever his name is, let's get him over here. 128 00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:55,860 Everything ended up fine. 129 00:08:57,140 --> 00:09:00,260 Yeah, okay, everything was fine. Thanks, thanks. Great job in the car. 130 00:09:00,340 --> 00:09:02,780 Ricky Bobby, a force to be reckoned with, possibly... 131 00:09:03,020 --> 00:09:04,300 ...in the near future. 132 00:09:04,540 --> 00:09:06,540 Ricky Bobby with yet another impressive win. 133 00:09:06,780 --> 00:09:08,420 He is dominating NAS CAR. 134 00:09:08,660 --> 00:09:11,300 First or last, baby, you know it! 135 00:09:11,340 --> 00:09:14,300 I've never seen a driver who wants to win more than this guy. 136 00:09:14,540 --> 00:09:16,900 I could get used to this winning thing! 137 00:09:30,300 --> 00:09:35,740 Dennit Racing Incorporated has decided to field an additional car. 138 00:09:35,980 --> 00:09:38,820 And, at the urging of Ricky Bobby... 139 00:09:39,060 --> 00:09:43,140 ...who's been like a son to me, only better... 140 00:09:43,380 --> 00:09:46,740 ...I'm naming Cal Naughton Jr. as the driver. 141 00:09:48,940 --> 00:09:50,340 All right. 142 00:09:50,580 --> 00:09:52,340 -Cal Naughton. -Hey... 143 00:09:52,380 --> 00:09:55,140 ...we just want to say to all you other drivers out there... 144 00:09:55,380 --> 00:09:58,380 ...if you smell a delicious, crispy smell after the race... 145 00:09:58,420 --> 00:10:01,660 ...it's not your tailpipe, it's a little bit... 146 00:10:01,940 --> 00:10:03,380 ...of shake.... 147 00:10:03,420 --> 00:10:05,900 And then bake. 148 00:10:06,220 --> 00:10:07,420 Shake and Bake! 149 00:10:07,660 --> 00:10:10,180 -That's our nickname. -Get used to hearing it. 150 00:10:10,540 --> 00:10:12,220 And Ricky Bobby wins... 151 00:10:12,460 --> 00:10:14,740 ...with Cal Naughton Jr. finishing second. 152 00:10:15,700 --> 00:10:18,220 -Yeah! -Hey, man! 153 00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:20,580 -Shake.... -And Bake! 154 00:10:22,420 --> 00:10:25,300 Hey, driver! Drive these. 155 00:10:28,740 --> 00:10:30,300 Please be 18. 156 00:10:40,780 --> 00:10:43,660 You want to make this out to Charlotte? 157 00:10:43,900 --> 00:10:45,420 Hey, excuse me, Ricky. 158 00:10:45,460 --> 00:10:47,460 -Hey, Dale. -Hey, can I get your autograph? 159 00:10:47,500 --> 00:10:50,660 -Sure. Who do I make this out to? -It's for me. I think you're awesome. 160 00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:53,340 -Don't tell the other drivers. -I'm not gonna tell anyone. 161 00:10:53,580 --> 00:10:54,900 I'll see you out there. 162 00:10:55,140 --> 00:10:57,100 Absolutely, ma'am, I'd love to sign your baby. 163 00:10:57,340 --> 00:10:59,300 You're not gonna wanna wash that forehead. 164 00:10:59,580 --> 00:11:03,300 -That's right, Powerade's number one. -Not just for hydration, for vitamin. 165 00:11:03,340 --> 00:11:05,940 No, it's me, it's me, Susan, your assistant. 166 00:11:06,220 --> 00:11:08,180 Gotta watch it when I get into autograph mode. 167 00:11:08,420 --> 00:11:11,260 I know, I'm sorry. It's my fault, I shouldn't have been standing. 168 00:11:11,460 --> 00:11:14,020 I'm Ricky Bobby. Christmas is right around the corner... 169 00:11:14,260 --> 00:11:16,220 ...and what better gift to give a loved one... 170 00:11:16,300 --> 00:11:17,980 ...than the Jackhawk 9000? 171 00:11:18,220 --> 00:11:19,460 Available at Wal-Mart. 172 00:11:19,860 --> 00:11:22,140 When you work on your mysterious lady-part stuff... 173 00:11:22,380 --> 00:11:25,740 ...you should have the right tools too. So that's why you should use... 174 00:11:25,980 --> 00:11:27,780 ...Maypax, the official tampon of NASCAR. 175 00:11:29,620 --> 00:11:30,740 I'm Ricky Bobby. 176 00:11:30,980 --> 00:11:34,180 If you don't chew Big Red, then f*** you. 177 00:11:38,700 --> 00:11:39,780 Prune candy. 178 00:11:42,340 --> 00:11:43,380 -You happy? -I'm very happy. 179 00:11:43,660 --> 00:11:46,060 -Hey, I'm Ricky Bobby. -And I'm Cal Naughton Jr. 180 00:11:46,300 --> 00:11:48,540 Urging you never to travel to Tijuana. 181 00:11:48,980 --> 00:11:50,460 Ricky! Ricky! Ricky! 182 00:11:50,700 --> 00:11:52,780 Okay, I'm starting to get sick. 183 00:11:53,420 --> 00:11:56,700 Dick Berggren in Las Vegas, Victory Lane, for Fox Television. 184 00:11:56,940 --> 00:11:59,820 Ricky Bobby, today's big winner. Heck of a win for you today... 185 00:12:00,060 --> 00:12:04,060 ...but it seems as if you either win or crash the car trying to win. 186 00:12:04,300 --> 00:12:07,420 Well, Dick, here's the deal. I'm the best there is, plain and simple. 187 00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:09,940 I mean, I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence. 188 00:12:10,180 --> 00:12:12,100 And nobody can hang with my stuff. 189 00:12:12,340 --> 00:12:15,420 You know, I'm just a big, hairy, American winning machine. 190 00:12:15,700 --> 00:12:18,540 If you ain't first, you're last. You know what I'm talking about? 191 00:12:18,780 --> 00:12:20,100 That phrase is trademarked... 192 00:12:20,340 --> 00:12:22,700 ...not to be used without permission of Ricky Bobby Inc. 193 00:12:29,780 --> 00:12:33,340 Supper's ready! Come on, y'all! I've been slaving over this for hours! 194 00:12:35,540 --> 00:12:37,380 Dear Lord baby Jesus... 195 00:12:37,620 --> 00:12:41,020 ...or as our brothers to the south call you, Jesus... 196 00:12:41,380 --> 00:12:47,300 ...we thank you so much for this bountiful harvest of Domino's, KFC... 197 00:12:47,380 --> 00:12:50,380 ...and the always delicious Taco Bell. 198 00:12:50,660 --> 00:12:53,380 I just want to take time to say thank you for my family... 199 00:12:53,620 --> 00:12:57,100 ...my two beautiful, beautiful, handsome, striking sons... 200 00:12:57,340 --> 00:12:59,700 ...Walker and Texas Ranger... 201 00:13:00,020 --> 00:13:01,940 ...or T.R., as we call him... 202 00:13:02,180 --> 00:13:04,900 ...and of course, my red-hot smoking wife, Carley... 203 00:13:05,140 --> 00:13:06,860 ...who is a stone-cold fox. 204 00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:10,700 Who if you were to rate her ass on 100, it would easily be a 94. 205 00:13:10,940 --> 00:13:14,340 Also wanna thank you for my best friend, Cal Naughton Jr... 206 00:13:14,380 --> 00:13:16,340 ...who's got my back no matter what. 207 00:13:17,380 --> 00:13:18,500 Shake and Bake. 208 00:13:18,740 --> 00:13:21,820 Dear Lord baby Jesus, we also thank you for my wife's father, Chip. 209 00:13:22,100 --> 00:13:24,300 We hope that you can use your baby Jesus powers... 210 00:13:24,380 --> 00:13:27,260 ...to heal him and his horrible leg. 211 00:13:27,300 --> 00:13:31,060 And it smells terrible and the dogs are always bothering with it. 212 00:13:31,300 --> 00:13:32,900 Dear tiny infant Jesus, we-- 213 00:13:33,140 --> 00:13:34,860 Hey, you know, sweetie... 214 00:13:35,620 --> 00:13:37,300 ...Jesus did grow up. 215 00:13:37,340 --> 00:13:39,460 You don't always have to call him "baby." 216 00:13:39,500 --> 00:13:41,340 It's odd and off-putting to pray to a baby. 217 00:13:41,380 --> 00:13:44,380 Well, I like the Christmas Jesus best and I'm saying grace. 218 00:13:44,420 --> 00:13:47,220 When you say grace, say it to grownup Jesus, teenage Jesus... 219 00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:48,860 ...bearded Jesus, whoever you want. 220 00:13:49,100 --> 00:13:50,380 You know what I want? 221 00:13:50,420 --> 00:13:55,060 I want you to do this grace good, so that God will let us win tomorrow. 222 00:13:55,500 --> 00:13:57,060 Dear tiny Jesus... 223 00:13:57,300 --> 00:14:02,060 ...in your golden-fleece diapers, with your tiny, little, fat, balled-up fists... 224 00:14:02,380 --> 00:14:04,740 -...pawing at the air.... -He was a man. He had a beard. 225 00:14:04,980 --> 00:14:07,340 Look, I like the baby version the best, do you hear me? 226 00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:09,300 I win the races and I get the money. 227 00:14:09,540 --> 00:14:13,140 Ricky, finish the damn grace. 228 00:14:13,380 --> 00:14:16,100 I like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo T-shirt... 229 00:14:16,340 --> 00:14:18,940 ...because it says, like, "I wanna be formal... 230 00:14:19,180 --> 00:14:20,860 -Right. -...but I'm here to party too." 231 00:14:21,100 --> 00:14:23,380 Because I like to party, so I like my Jesus to party. 232 00:14:23,620 --> 00:14:27,220 I like to picture Jesus as a ninja fighting off evil samurai. 233 00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:31,380 I like to think of Jesus, like, with giant eagle's wings. 234 00:14:31,420 --> 00:14:34,460 And singing lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd... 235 00:14:34,740 --> 00:14:36,460 ...with, like, a angel band. 236 00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:39,420 And I'm in the front row, and I'm hammered drunk. 237 00:14:39,660 --> 00:14:41,380 Hey, Cal? Why don't you just shut up? 238 00:14:41,420 --> 00:14:43,540 -Yes, ma'am. -Okay. 239 00:14:43,780 --> 00:14:49,220 Dear 8-pound, 6-ounce, newborn infant Jesus... 240 00:14:49,620 --> 00:14:51,340 ...don't even know a word yet... 241 00:14:51,580 --> 00:14:55,540 ...just a little infant and so cuddly, but still omnipotent... 242 00:14:55,780 --> 00:15:00,300 ...we just thank you for all the races I've won and the 2 1.2 million dollars-- 243 00:15:02,660 --> 00:15:04,220 Love that money! 244 00:15:04,460 --> 00:15:06,820 --that I have accrued over this past season. 245 00:15:07,060 --> 00:15:09,180 Also, due to a binding endorsement contract... 246 00:15:09,420 --> 00:15:11,820 ...that stipulates I mention Powerade at each grace... 247 00:15:12,060 --> 00:15:14,340 ...I just wanna say that Powerade is delicious... 248 00:15:14,380 --> 00:15:16,580 ...and it cools you off on a hot summer day. 249 00:15:16,820 --> 00:15:22,460 And we look forward to Powerade's release of Mystic Mountain BIueberry. 250 00:15:22,700 --> 00:15:26,100 Thank you for all your power and your grace, dear baby God. Amen. 251 00:15:26,340 --> 00:15:27,380 -Amen. -Amen. 252 00:15:27,620 --> 00:15:28,900 Let's dig in! 253 00:15:29,140 --> 00:15:32,140 That was a hell of a grace, man. You nailed that like a split hog! 254 00:15:32,380 --> 00:15:34,100 I'm not gonna lie to you, it felt good. 255 00:15:34,380 --> 00:15:35,980 Dad, you made that grace your bitch. 256 00:15:36,260 --> 00:15:38,460 Hey, boys, I wanna see some napkins in the lap. 257 00:15:38,700 --> 00:15:40,060 Boys, how was school today? 258 00:15:40,300 --> 00:15:43,340 I threw a bunch of Grandpa Chip's war medals off the bridge. 259 00:15:44,180 --> 00:15:46,900 Sounds like a good day. Texas Ranger, how about you? 260 00:15:47,140 --> 00:15:50,380 Well, the teacher asked me what was the capital of North Carolina. 261 00:15:50,540 --> 00:15:52,460 I said, "Washington, D.C." 262 00:15:52,500 --> 00:15:53,460 -Bingo. -Nice. 263 00:15:53,700 --> 00:15:57,900 She said, "No, you're wrong." I said, "You got a Iumpy butt." 264 00:15:58,140 --> 00:16:01,300 She got mad at me and yelled at me and I pissed in my pants. 265 00:16:01,340 --> 00:16:04,300 And I never did change my pee pants all day. 266 00:16:04,340 --> 00:16:06,460 I'm still sitting in my dirty pee pants. 267 00:16:06,740 --> 00:16:10,020 I wet my bed until I was 19. There's no shame in that. 268 00:16:10,340 --> 00:16:14,620 I get emotional because you guys are working so hard. 269 00:16:15,340 --> 00:16:17,820 I'm just so proud of you. You remind me of me... 270 00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:19,620 ...precocious and full of wonderment. 271 00:16:19,860 --> 00:16:21,740 Tell you what, Ricky, you are truly blessed. 272 00:16:21,980 --> 00:16:24,340 -These two are two in a million. -I am. 273 00:16:24,380 --> 00:16:26,460 Just like Carley's tatas. 274 00:16:26,500 --> 00:16:28,820 You won't find another rack like that, I guarantee. 275 00:16:29,060 --> 00:16:30,660 Thank you, Cal. 276 00:16:30,900 --> 00:16:32,420 That's real sweet of you, Cal. 277 00:16:32,460 --> 00:16:35,380 That's real nice. That's one of the nicest things you've ever said. 278 00:16:35,620 --> 00:16:38,180 -Well, I mean it. -Stop, you're gonna make me cry. 279 00:16:38,420 --> 00:16:40,060 It comes from my heart, that's why. 280 00:16:40,580 --> 00:16:42,340 I can't hold my tongue. 281 00:16:42,620 --> 00:16:45,860 These kids are my grandchildren, and you are raising them wrong. 282 00:16:46,100 --> 00:16:47,380 They are terrible boys. 283 00:16:47,420 --> 00:16:50,180 Shut up, Chip, or I'll go ape-shit on your ass! 284 00:16:50,420 --> 00:16:52,860 I'm gonna scissor-kick you in the back of the head. 285 00:16:53,100 --> 00:16:54,980 -Yeah! -Yeah. Turn up the heat. 286 00:16:55,220 --> 00:16:56,700 Go on and get some, boys. 287 00:16:56,940 --> 00:16:59,300 I'm 10 years old, but I'll beat your ass. 288 00:16:59,340 --> 00:17:01,980 Chip, I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey. 289 00:17:02,220 --> 00:17:03,860 Like a spider monkey! Go on. 290 00:17:04,100 --> 00:17:05,260 Chip, you brought this on. 291 00:17:05,300 --> 00:17:07,340 The greatest generation, my ass. 292 00:17:07,380 --> 00:17:09,060 Tom Brokaw is a punk. 293 00:17:09,300 --> 00:17:10,300 What is wrong with you? 294 00:17:10,340 --> 00:17:12,620 Chip, I'm all jacked up on Mountain Dew. 295 00:17:13,540 --> 00:17:14,500 I love that. 296 00:17:14,780 --> 00:17:18,300 You gonna let your sons talk to their grandfather like that? I'm their elder. 297 00:17:18,380 --> 00:17:21,380 I sure as hell am, Chip. I love the way they're talking to you. 298 00:17:21,660 --> 00:17:24,380 They're winners. Winners get to do what they want. 299 00:17:24,420 --> 00:17:26,060 Hell, you're just a bag of bones. 300 00:17:26,300 --> 00:17:29,020 Only thing you ever done with your life is make a hot daughter. 301 00:17:29,260 --> 00:17:31,220 That's it. That is it! 302 00:17:31,460 --> 00:17:32,540 We wanted us some wussies... 303 00:17:32,780 --> 00:17:35,460 ...we would've named them Dr. Quinn and Medicine Woman, okay? 304 00:17:35,700 --> 00:17:37,780 I work too hard for your bull, Chip. 305 00:17:38,020 --> 00:17:39,780 Come here. You make me hot. Come here. 306 00:17:40,820 --> 00:17:42,260 Everyone just keep eating. 307 00:17:42,300 --> 00:17:44,980 -It's on. -Come here. Come here. 308 00:17:47,340 --> 00:17:48,820 All right. 309 00:17:49,580 --> 00:17:51,420 I'll hold your hair. 310 00:18:03,820 --> 00:18:05,420 -Hey, Stephen. -Hey, Ricky. 311 00:18:05,460 --> 00:18:07,380 Got those two tickets for my special friend? 312 00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:11,300 Yeah, sure do. You know I do, Ricky. Got them right here, buddy. 313 00:18:11,540 --> 00:18:13,660 Great. Hey, how's your mama's hip? 314 00:18:13,940 --> 00:18:15,980 She's gonna be all right, thank you for asking. 315 00:18:16,220 --> 00:18:18,260 -Appreciate it. Hey, good Iuck today. -Thanks. 316 00:18:18,300 --> 00:18:20,780 That's the saddest thing I've ever seen in my life. 317 00:18:21,060 --> 00:18:23,700 That boy leaves two tickets for his daddy at every race... 318 00:18:23,980 --> 00:18:25,260 ...and he never shows up. 319 00:18:25,340 --> 00:18:27,220 That's a shame. 320 00:18:27,460 --> 00:18:30,380 The human heart is such a mystery. 321 00:18:31,620 --> 00:18:33,900 -Let's sell these bitches, huh? -Hell, yeah. 322 00:18:34,140 --> 00:18:36,900 -Beer money, huh? -There you go. Yes. 323 00:18:38,340 --> 00:18:40,540 As the laps wind down, Jamie McMurray is the leader. 324 00:18:40,780 --> 00:18:43,820 Cal Naughton in second. Ricky Bobby in third. 325 00:18:44,060 --> 00:18:46,540 What's up, Cal? You ready for a little Shake-and-Bake-age? 326 00:18:46,780 --> 00:18:49,540 -Hey, buddy. -Naughton Jr. is letting Ricky Bobby... 327 00:18:49,780 --> 00:18:53,300 ...draft up to him to make that slingshot move past McMurray. 328 00:18:53,580 --> 00:18:56,140 Can you believe that he would do that for his teammate? 329 00:18:56,420 --> 00:18:57,940 Set him up that way? 330 00:18:59,140 --> 00:19:01,140 Slingshot, engage. 331 00:19:03,420 --> 00:19:05,260 And there goes Ricky Bobby on the outside! 332 00:19:05,300 --> 00:19:06,500 That's how we do it. 333 00:19:06,740 --> 00:19:09,260 Makes his move. Naughton's giving him plenty of room. 334 00:19:09,300 --> 00:19:12,020 What in the hell is he doing, guys? Get him off of me. 335 00:19:12,260 --> 00:19:14,340 They touch! They spin! 336 00:19:15,020 --> 00:19:16,620 Snap! 337 00:19:18,300 --> 00:19:19,580 Come on, man! 338 00:19:23,780 --> 00:19:25,660 See you, wouldn't wanna be you. 339 00:19:36,740 --> 00:19:39,980 Look at that! Ricky Bobby's gonna try to win the race in reverse. 340 00:19:40,220 --> 00:19:41,860 Man, he wants this win bad! 341 00:19:43,740 --> 00:19:45,700 Ricky Bobby wins it in reverse! 342 00:19:45,940 --> 00:19:47,740 Unbelievable! I love that! That is cool! 343 00:19:47,980 --> 00:19:52,900 Jamie, losing's never fun, but here's something to pick your spirits up. 344 00:19:53,140 --> 00:19:55,700 It's real nice. I got it at Target. It's on sale. 345 00:20:01,300 --> 00:20:02,980 Yeah! 346 00:20:08,900 --> 00:20:12,060 -That's it. Another one. Another one. -All right, man. We did it! 347 00:20:12,300 --> 00:20:15,700 I don't wanna be raining on your parade, but I gotta tell you... 348 00:20:15,940 --> 00:20:20,020 ...that was some of the dumbest driving I have ever seen in my life. 349 00:20:20,260 --> 00:20:22,100 -Thank you. -And I know you won the race... 350 00:20:22,340 --> 00:20:23,820 ...but you're not gonna live forever. 351 00:20:24,060 --> 00:20:26,820 I'm not stupid, Lucius. No one lives forever. No one. 352 00:20:27,060 --> 00:20:31,340 But with advances in modern science and my high level of income... 353 00:20:31,380 --> 00:20:34,860 ...I mean, it's not crazy to think I can't live to be 2 45, maybe 300. 354 00:20:35,140 --> 00:20:38,500 I just read in the newspaper they put a pig heart in some Russian guy. 355 00:20:38,780 --> 00:20:41,100 Know what--? I mean, do you know what that means? 356 00:20:41,340 --> 00:20:43,860 No, I don't know what that means. I guess, longer life. 357 00:20:44,100 --> 00:20:45,900 -Well, no, he didn't live. -He didn't live? 358 00:20:46,140 --> 00:20:48,700 No. It's just exciting that we're trying things like that. 359 00:20:49,140 --> 00:20:51,540 -Ricky? -Hey, Mr. Dennit. 360 00:20:51,780 --> 00:20:53,820 -Cheers. -Yeah. 361 00:20:54,060 --> 00:20:56,420 -She already wasted? -Celebrating. 362 00:20:56,460 --> 00:20:58,740 She's celebrating. You feel pretty good today, huh? 363 00:20:58,980 --> 00:21:00,940 Look, Ricky, early word out of NASCAR... 364 00:21:01,180 --> 00:21:03,860 ...is your little obscene gesture's gonna cost you 100 points. 365 00:21:04,100 --> 00:21:06,380 You know how much that costs us in sponsorship dollars? 366 00:21:06,620 --> 00:21:08,300 With all due respect, Mr. Dennit... 367 00:21:08,580 --> 00:21:13,500 ...I had no idea you had experimental surgery to have your balls removed. 368 00:21:13,780 --> 00:21:15,740 What did you say? What was that? 369 00:21:16,020 --> 00:21:17,820 Well, what? I said, "With all due respect." 370 00:21:18,060 --> 00:21:20,740 That doesn't mean you get to say whatever you wanna say to me. 371 00:21:20,980 --> 00:21:22,580 -It sure as heck does. -No, it doesn't. 372 00:21:22,820 --> 00:21:24,420 It's in the Geneva Convention. Look it up. 373 00:21:24,660 --> 00:21:26,820 I remember your daddy used to love it. 374 00:21:27,060 --> 00:21:31,660 -This is not my dad-- This is my team-- -Used to love it when I used to win. 375 00:21:31,900 --> 00:21:34,380 Now, I suggest you and your wife, Mrs. Jim Beam... 376 00:21:34,420 --> 00:21:36,580 ...you guys go take a chill pill. Enjoy the win! 377 00:21:36,820 --> 00:21:38,500 -Come on, man! -Yeah, Ricky. Okay. 378 00:21:38,740 --> 00:21:40,380 Baby, photo op, photo op. Come on. 379 00:21:40,660 --> 00:21:42,300 Come on, number one. 380 00:21:43,260 --> 00:21:45,260 Hold my hand, baby. 381 00:21:53,380 --> 00:21:56,460 I'll tell you what, though, guys, that was a hell of a race today. 382 00:21:56,500 --> 00:21:59,380 -Shake and Bake in full effect. -It's always been like that. 383 00:22:01,260 --> 00:22:03,340 Me and Ricky, since we were little kids, man. 384 00:22:03,380 --> 00:22:06,660 We go together like Chinese food and chocolate pudding. Let's face it. 385 00:22:06,900 --> 00:22:09,540 Yeah, but those are two things that don't really go together. 386 00:22:09,780 --> 00:22:12,260 We go together like cocaine and waffles. 387 00:22:12,300 --> 00:22:15,180 No, like, for instance, if I say peanut butter and.... 388 00:22:15,780 --> 00:22:17,660 -Ladies, right? -Yep. 389 00:22:17,900 --> 00:22:19,060 -No, jelly. -Am I right? 390 00:22:19,340 --> 00:22:21,420 -Jelly? -You like to put jelly on a lady? 391 00:22:21,660 --> 00:22:24,460 I'm gonna settle this thing. Let's just get ourselves... 392 00:22:24,500 --> 00:22:28,540 ...a whole mess of cocktails, get drunk and work this thing out. 393 00:22:28,780 --> 00:22:30,380 -Work this thing out. -That's right. 394 00:22:31,340 --> 00:22:35,260 So I was talking to Nana on Saturday, and her birthday's coming up... 395 00:22:35,300 --> 00:22:37,660 ...but I don't know what to get her. She's gonna be 88. 396 00:22:37,900 --> 00:22:39,540 Get her a coffin. 397 00:22:45,460 --> 00:22:49,420 Hey, Cal, I'm sorry about wrecking you today. 398 00:22:49,460 --> 00:22:53,460 -I mean, but that was for the team. -No, that's cool. That's cool, I know. 399 00:22:53,500 --> 00:22:56,060 I was thinking, though, one time... 400 00:22:56,340 --> 00:23:00,860 ...it would be really awesome if, like, you could slingshot me in for a win. 401 00:23:01,100 --> 00:23:03,620 Yeah, but-- Okay, but if you won... 402 00:23:03,860 --> 00:23:06,220 -...how am I gonna win? -Yeah. 403 00:23:06,460 --> 00:23:08,940 -Think about it. -No, I was thinking about it. 404 00:23:09,180 --> 00:23:11,260 I mean, it's not like you're finishing 18th. 405 00:23:11,300 --> 00:23:14,380 -There's nothing wrong with silver. -Nothing wrong with silver at all. 406 00:23:14,620 --> 00:23:16,940 I'm just kidding you, man. I don't wanna win. 407 00:23:18,900 --> 00:23:20,700 I'll just bury it down inside. 408 00:23:20,980 --> 00:23:23,620 Bury it deep down in there, and never bring it up again. 409 00:23:23,900 --> 00:23:26,060 It's painful, and I love you! 410 00:23:26,340 --> 00:23:28,140 Get her a gigolo. 411 00:23:28,380 --> 00:23:30,980 -What? -A guy to have sex with her. 412 00:23:31,220 --> 00:23:33,100 No, she's gonna be 88 and.... 413 00:23:33,340 --> 00:23:35,860 You don't stop liking sex when you're old. 414 00:23:37,300 --> 00:23:40,340 Well, I was thinking more along the line of.... 415 00:23:40,580 --> 00:23:45,060 -Like, she likes afghans and quilts. -She's probably got a million of those. 416 00:23:45,300 --> 00:23:48,340 How many dudes does she have coming over to have sex with her? 417 00:23:48,780 --> 00:23:51,620 -None. -Exactly. 418 00:23:51,980 --> 00:23:53,980 Be thoughtful, Glenn. 419 00:23:55,340 --> 00:23:56,900 Don't stop. 420 00:24:03,780 --> 00:24:04,740 What is that? 421 00:24:05,020 --> 00:24:07,460 Someone made a tape of something dying or something. 422 00:24:07,540 --> 00:24:09,500 Hey, turn that crap off. What's going on? 423 00:24:09,740 --> 00:24:11,620 I want this music out of my head. 424 00:24:11,860 --> 00:24:13,420 Hey, turn that off! 425 00:24:14,140 --> 00:24:15,820 Turn that off right now! 426 00:24:21,420 --> 00:24:24,060 Why did you stop the jazz music? 427 00:24:25,780 --> 00:24:28,060 Was it not pleasant for you? 428 00:24:28,340 --> 00:24:31,180 No one plays jazz here at The Pit Stop, okay? 429 00:24:31,420 --> 00:24:33,820 So why is the song on the jukebox? 430 00:24:34,100 --> 00:24:37,260 We keep it on there for profiling purposes. 431 00:24:37,300 --> 00:24:40,420 We also got the Pet Shop Boys and Seal. 432 00:24:41,260 --> 00:24:44,180 My name is Jean Girard... 433 00:24:44,380 --> 00:24:47,940 ...and I am a racing-car driver just like you... 434 00:24:48,180 --> 00:24:51,180 ...except I am from Formula Un. 435 00:24:52,820 --> 00:24:55,660 I am the greatest one in the whole world. 436 00:24:55,900 --> 00:25:01,340 I have been following your career with great interest, Monsieur Bobby. 437 00:25:01,620 --> 00:25:04,060 I can't understand a word you've said the whole time. 438 00:25:04,300 --> 00:25:06,060 Did you eat peanut butter or something? 439 00:25:06,300 --> 00:25:09,260 You sound like a dog with peanut butter on the roof of your mouth. 440 00:25:09,300 --> 00:25:12,980 I think what you are hearing is my accent. 441 00:25:13,220 --> 00:25:15,660 I am French. 442 00:25:15,900 --> 00:25:17,420 You say you're French? 443 00:25:18,460 --> 00:25:21,420 We? No, we are not French. 444 00:25:21,860 --> 00:25:24,780 We're American, because you're in America, okay? 445 00:25:25,020 --> 00:25:26,460 Greatest country on the planet. 446 00:25:26,700 --> 00:25:28,460 Well, what have you given the world... 447 00:25:28,700 --> 00:25:32,860 ...apart from George Bush, Cheerios, and the ThighMaster? 448 00:25:33,140 --> 00:25:34,940 -Chinese food? -Chinese food. 449 00:25:35,220 --> 00:25:36,460 That's from China. 450 00:25:36,540 --> 00:25:38,660 -Pizza. -Italy. 451 00:25:38,940 --> 00:25:41,340 -Chimichanga. -Mexican. 452 00:25:41,620 --> 00:25:44,300 Really, smarty-pants? What did French land give us? 453 00:25:44,340 --> 00:25:48,620 We invented democracy, existentialism... 454 00:25:48,860 --> 00:25:50,060 ...and the blowjob. 455 00:25:51,100 --> 00:25:53,180 -Those are three pretty good things. -Hey. 456 00:25:53,420 --> 00:25:54,900 Well, that last one's pretty cool. 457 00:25:56,100 --> 00:25:59,820 You know, the 69 with the head near the-- That bit. 458 00:26:00,060 --> 00:26:01,260 We came up with it. 459 00:26:01,300 --> 00:26:03,820 We created the missionary position. 460 00:26:04,060 --> 00:26:07,580 -You're welcome. -Ricky Bobby... 461 00:26:07,860 --> 00:26:10,860 ...I have come here to defeat you. 462 00:26:11,140 --> 00:26:13,900 Oh, well, there's strikes two and three right there. 463 00:26:14,460 --> 00:26:16,140 Did you hear what he just said? 464 00:26:17,460 --> 00:26:19,580 Well, welcome to America, amigo. 465 00:26:24,860 --> 00:26:27,660 You are fast, Ricky Bobby... 466 00:26:28,340 --> 00:26:30,140 ...but I am faster. 467 00:26:30,380 --> 00:26:34,020 All right, you let go of me, you Formula One jazz nutjob! 468 00:26:34,260 --> 00:26:36,700 Like the frightened baby chipmunk... 469 00:26:36,940 --> 00:26:39,700 ...you are scared by anything that is different. 470 00:26:39,940 --> 00:26:42,300 I will let you go, Ricky... 471 00:26:42,380 --> 00:26:46,660 ...but first I want you to say: 472 00:26:48,260 --> 00:26:51,580 "I love crepes." 473 00:26:52,380 --> 00:26:55,380 Don't you say it, Ricky. These colors don't run. 474 00:26:55,420 --> 00:26:57,180 -I'm not gonna say it. -Good. 475 00:26:57,420 --> 00:26:59,420 Hey, look, Frenchy, I thought about it. 476 00:26:59,660 --> 00:27:01,940 So why don't you go ahead and break my arm? 477 00:27:02,180 --> 00:27:05,260 I do not want to break your arm, Monsieur Bobby... 478 00:27:05,300 --> 00:27:07,020 ...but I am a man of my word. 479 00:27:07,260 --> 00:27:09,340 Here's the deal. He's not gonna break it... 480 00:27:09,380 --> 00:27:11,860 ...because I'm gonna slip out of it right now. Houdini. 481 00:27:12,100 --> 00:27:13,420 Get down, you little pancake. 482 00:27:13,500 --> 00:27:15,140 Someone get me a beer while I'm here. 483 00:27:15,420 --> 00:27:17,420 But you have forced me to do this. 484 00:27:17,700 --> 00:27:20,380 You are now mocking me and making me look ridiculous. 485 00:27:20,620 --> 00:27:22,380 Just say, "I love crepes." 486 00:27:22,420 --> 00:27:26,300 You know, just to put this in there, I had a whole mess of crepes this morning. 487 00:27:26,540 --> 00:27:28,460 They're like pancakes, maybe even better. 488 00:27:28,500 --> 00:27:31,380 -Are they the really thin pancakes? -Yeah. 489 00:27:31,420 --> 00:27:34,420 They are the really thin pancakes. It's just a French word for them. 490 00:27:34,660 --> 00:27:37,260 -My God, I love those. -Put any syrups you want on them. 491 00:27:37,300 --> 00:27:40,300 -I'm saying, think about it. -They come with cheese sometimes? 492 00:27:40,340 --> 00:27:42,220 Yes, of course, a fromage-crepe. 493 00:27:42,300 --> 00:27:44,340 Well, why didn't someone yell that right away? 494 00:27:44,580 --> 00:27:46,300 You know what's in the crepe suzette? 495 00:27:46,340 --> 00:27:48,460 -Oh, I love the crepe suzette. -With the sugar... 496 00:27:48,740 --> 00:27:51,340 -...and lemon juice, Grand Marnier. -Sugar and lemon juice. 497 00:27:51,660 --> 00:27:54,060 I wish I could crawl into one of those right now. 498 00:27:54,300 --> 00:27:57,900 -I'd eat my way out from the inside. -They are tasty. 499 00:27:58,140 --> 00:28:00,540 Either way this goes, could we get some after we're done? 500 00:28:00,780 --> 00:28:03,380 -Absolutely. We're gonna do that. -So, what if you just said: 501 00:28:03,620 --> 00:28:07,900 "I love really thin pancakes"? That is a fair compromise, no? 502 00:28:08,140 --> 00:28:10,300 -That is a fair compromise. -Very fair, actually. 503 00:28:10,340 --> 00:28:13,180 No! Because then everyone would know I really meant crepes. 504 00:28:13,420 --> 00:28:14,860 That's a pretty good compromise. 505 00:28:15,100 --> 00:28:17,980 Why do you want me to break your arm so badly? 506 00:28:18,220 --> 00:28:21,340 You don't understand because you don't understand liberty. 507 00:28:21,420 --> 00:28:23,380 You don't understand freedom. 508 00:28:23,460 --> 00:28:27,260 So you put a crack in my arm like the crack in the Liberty Bell. 509 00:28:27,620 --> 00:28:30,380 Hey. This is just between you and me, okay? 510 00:28:30,620 --> 00:28:32,820 I mean, forget all these other guys. 511 00:28:33,060 --> 00:28:35,740 But he did give you a pretty decent out. But it's your call. 512 00:28:35,980 --> 00:28:37,620 What do you think? 513 00:28:38,380 --> 00:28:40,300 -Don't say it. -Yeah. I'm not gonna say it. 514 00:28:40,380 --> 00:28:41,900 Break it, Pepe Le Pew. 515 00:28:42,380 --> 00:28:43,460 As you wish. 516 00:28:46,660 --> 00:28:50,860 -He actually did it! -All right. You did it. Back off. 517 00:28:51,140 --> 00:28:52,900 -I didn't say it! -No, you did not. 518 00:28:53,140 --> 00:28:56,460 Your injury is one of ignorance and pride. 519 00:28:58,780 --> 00:29:01,380 Hold it right there, Mr. Fancy Pants Foreigner. 520 00:29:01,460 --> 00:29:02,980 You just broke my bro's arm. 521 00:29:03,220 --> 00:29:04,740 Now you're about to get Tasered. 522 00:29:06,180 --> 00:29:08,900 -Say hello to Dr. Watts. -Get him, Cal. 523 00:29:11,100 --> 00:29:13,260 I need you all to step away... 524 00:29:13,300 --> 00:29:14,700 ...from my driver. 525 00:29:14,940 --> 00:29:17,860 The hell you talking about, "my driver"? What are you doing with a gun? 526 00:29:18,100 --> 00:29:20,500 Don't you worry about my gun, Ricky. 527 00:29:20,740 --> 00:29:23,620 Jean Girard is my new boy at Dennit Racing. He's here to win us... 528 00:29:23,860 --> 00:29:26,540 ...an overall-points championship, something you apparently... 529 00:29:26,780 --> 00:29:29,460 ...have no interest in. He's gonna usher in a new era. 530 00:29:29,540 --> 00:29:31,340 Mr. Dennit, with all due respect-- 531 00:29:31,420 --> 00:29:33,740 And remember, I'm saying, "with all due respect." 532 00:29:33,980 --> 00:29:38,380 --that idea ain't worth a velvet painting of a whale and a dolphin getting it on. 533 00:29:38,620 --> 00:29:41,660 That's good. That's good fun. That's good fun, Ricky... 534 00:29:41,900 --> 00:29:44,820 ...but that doesn't bother me anymore because Jean is the future... 535 00:29:45,060 --> 00:29:46,340 ...Ricky, the past. 536 00:29:46,580 --> 00:29:48,820 So, Jean, introduce me to your new teammates. 537 00:29:49,420 --> 00:29:53,620 Everybody, this is my husband, Gregory. 538 00:29:53,860 --> 00:29:55,420 What? 539 00:29:56,460 --> 00:29:58,140 See you at the track. 540 00:29:58,660 --> 00:30:00,220 Did he just say "husband"? 541 00:30:00,460 --> 00:30:04,820 Sweet Lord. Dennit hired a gay Frenchman as your teammate. 542 00:30:05,060 --> 00:30:07,420 The room's starting to spin real fast. 543 00:30:08,180 --> 00:30:10,940 Because of gayness. 544 00:30:12,540 --> 00:30:15,900 -Cal, I love you. -Ricky? Ricky! Oh, God! 545 00:30:25,140 --> 00:30:29,860 Fans and NASCAR, everyone is talking about this new driver, Jean Girard. 546 00:30:30,100 --> 00:30:33,460 Let's find out a little bit more about him from our reporter, Davey Wesling. 547 00:30:33,740 --> 00:30:37,380 Talented. Eccentric. Dominating. 548 00:30:37,660 --> 00:30:41,060 These are the words that define Jean Girard. 549 00:30:41,740 --> 00:30:46,180 Before each race, Jean Girard spends time with his world-class horses... 550 00:30:46,420 --> 00:30:48,460 ...who are also gay. 551 00:30:48,500 --> 00:30:51,060 Jean's days are filled with sun-drenched walks... 552 00:30:51,300 --> 00:30:53,340 ...with his beloved husband, Gregory. 553 00:30:54,340 --> 00:30:57,180 Though Gregory is no stay-at-home spouse. 554 00:30:57,420 --> 00:31:00,340 He's a world-class trainer of German shepherds. 555 00:31:00,380 --> 00:31:02,700 Rolfe, the Nazi boyfriend. Up on top! 556 00:31:04,900 --> 00:31:07,260 Very nice. Very nice. 557 00:31:07,820 --> 00:31:11,460 Only time will tell if Jean's foray into NAS CAR... 558 00:31:11,740 --> 00:31:13,780 ...will end up in Victory Lane. 559 00:31:34,460 --> 00:31:36,660 Well, kiss my ass on Sunday. 560 00:31:37,460 --> 00:31:39,860 -Lucius, what the hell is going on? -The man can drive. 561 00:31:40,140 --> 00:31:41,900 And check out his crew chief over there. 562 00:31:42,180 --> 00:31:44,420 Won the Nobel Prize for physics back in '93. 563 00:31:44,500 --> 00:31:47,460 Ladies and gentlemen, that is a new track record. 564 00:31:47,700 --> 00:31:51,380 As it stands now, Jean Girard is sitting on the pole, which is, of course... 565 00:31:51,420 --> 00:31:53,700 ...a statement of fact and in no way a comment... 566 00:31:53,940 --> 00:31:55,740 ...on the driver's sexual orientation. 567 00:31:55,980 --> 00:31:58,700 Put a smile on your face? That's the future of Dennit Racing. 568 00:31:58,940 --> 00:32:01,380 -That make you happy? -I'm just thrilled, Mr. Dennit. 569 00:32:01,420 --> 00:32:03,540 I love seeing some French guy break my record... 570 00:32:03,780 --> 00:32:06,580 ...while I got my arm wrapped up like a fricking gordita. 571 00:32:06,820 --> 00:32:08,300 Hello, Ricky Bobby. 572 00:32:09,100 --> 00:32:13,780 What happened last week was very regrettable and unfortunate... 573 00:32:14,740 --> 00:32:17,620 ...and, as a gesture, I would like to... 574 00:32:17,860 --> 00:32:19,380 ...sign your cast, please. 575 00:32:19,420 --> 00:32:22,180 Hell, you know what, get my car off the trailer, guys. 576 00:32:22,420 --> 00:32:23,980 Baby! That's my baby! 577 00:32:24,220 --> 00:32:27,420 Hold on, Ricky. Ricky, Ricky, Rick. What are you talking about? 578 00:32:27,460 --> 00:32:31,180 Look. I wanna drive. My arm's fine. So let's get the car off the trailer. 579 00:32:31,420 --> 00:32:33,340 Don't look at me. Get it off the trailer! 580 00:32:33,580 --> 00:32:37,820 Even with a healthy arm, you don't have a chance against Jean Girard. 581 00:32:38,060 --> 00:32:40,820 All right, fellas. You heard the man. Get the car off. Let's go. 582 00:32:41,060 --> 00:32:42,460 You guys heard it. 583 00:32:43,220 --> 00:32:46,300 -What's going on? -Soon you will know what it is like... 584 00:32:46,340 --> 00:32:51,020 ...to be defeated by the hands of somebody who is truly better than you. 585 00:32:52,780 --> 00:32:56,580 As William Blake wrote, "The cut worm forgives the plow." 586 00:32:56,820 --> 00:32:59,660 Well, let me just quote the late, great Colonel Sanders... 587 00:32:59,900 --> 00:33:03,380 ...who said, "I'm too drunk to taste this chicken." 588 00:33:03,620 --> 00:33:05,460 What's that got to do with this? 589 00:33:05,700 --> 00:33:09,340 I got a message for all of them. Ready? Shake and Bake! 590 00:33:09,580 --> 00:33:13,060 What does that do? Does that blow your mind? That just happened! 591 00:33:13,300 --> 00:33:16,460 What is that, a catch phrase or is that epilepsy? 592 00:33:16,700 --> 00:33:19,340 -Shake and Bake. Shake and Bake. -What? 593 00:33:19,380 --> 00:33:24,220 Listen, you better be careful because tomorrow you're going to get beaten. 594 00:33:24,300 --> 00:33:26,380 Beaten real bad, cowboy. 595 00:33:26,660 --> 00:33:28,100 -Really? -Yes! 596 00:33:28,340 --> 00:33:30,300 -I don't want to know. -That's news to me. 597 00:33:30,540 --> 00:33:33,860 -Tomorrow you'll be in trouble. -I'll rip you a new one. 598 00:33:34,420 --> 00:33:37,420 There's going to be a croissant I'm going to take away. 599 00:33:37,460 --> 00:33:38,700 I play for keeps! 600 00:33:39,300 --> 00:33:42,060 I give you one option, Monsieur Bobby. 601 00:33:42,300 --> 00:33:45,300 As a sign of humility, if you kiss me on the lips now... 602 00:33:45,540 --> 00:33:49,260 ...I will return to Paris and you will never see me again in NASCAR. 603 00:33:49,300 --> 00:33:50,780 The answer is never! 604 00:33:51,020 --> 00:33:53,620 -I close my-- -Do you hear me? Never ever! 605 00:33:53,860 --> 00:33:56,500 -Well, yes or no? -That's sick. 606 00:33:59,420 --> 00:34:02,460 Let me tell you, hold on. Shake and Bake. 607 00:34:02,500 --> 00:34:03,780 Yeah! 608 00:34:04,020 --> 00:34:05,780 What does that mean? It makes no sense! 609 00:34:06,020 --> 00:34:07,740 This "Shake and Bake," it's nonsense. 610 00:34:07,980 --> 00:34:11,340 -Hey, baby. You guys are so smooth. -Thanks, darling. 611 00:34:11,380 --> 00:34:14,420 Cal, you could say that 10,000 times and it still wouldn't be enough. 612 00:34:14,660 --> 00:34:16,900 -It fires me up. -I love it. Say it one more time. 613 00:34:17,140 --> 00:34:19,100 -Shake and Bake! -Doesn't that feel good? 614 00:34:19,340 --> 00:34:23,380 Yeah! It rhymes, they're both verbs. It's awesome. 615 00:34:46,180 --> 00:34:48,860 NAS CAR on Fox welcomes you to Lowe's Motor Speedway... 616 00:34:49,100 --> 00:34:51,500 ...where tonight we'll go 500 miles. 617 00:34:52,300 --> 00:34:56,060 The big stories tonight are at both ends of the grid. 618 00:34:56,300 --> 00:35:00,500 Up front, Larry, the surprising French Formula One driver, Jean Girard. 619 00:35:01,540 --> 00:35:04,980 And at the opposite end of the grid, Darrell, Ricky Bobby. 620 00:35:05,220 --> 00:35:08,340 I saw Ricky Bobby last night walking around with a cast on his arm. 621 00:35:08,420 --> 00:35:11,460 Now, I don't know who he conned into letting him start this race. 622 00:35:11,500 --> 00:35:13,300 Just keep a camera on him all night long. 623 00:35:15,020 --> 00:35:16,460 I am so excited. 624 00:35:16,500 --> 00:35:19,300 This is a new era for Dennit Racing, huh? 625 00:35:19,340 --> 00:35:24,340 So serious all the time about your big race team. 626 00:35:24,380 --> 00:35:28,020 -Who cares? -But this is my life. This is my life. 627 00:35:28,260 --> 00:35:31,700 You know what? There's only one good thing about coming to the races... 628 00:35:31,940 --> 00:35:35,700 ...and that is the vibrations from the cars. 629 00:35:35,980 --> 00:35:39,780 Oh, I love when them cars whiz by. 630 00:35:41,340 --> 00:35:43,500 Can feel the motor... 631 00:35:43,740 --> 00:35:46,020 ...running up my legs. 632 00:35:48,460 --> 00:35:51,060 Ricky Bobby, who never met a sponsor he wouldn't push... 633 00:35:51,300 --> 00:35:53,300 ...has a Fig Newton sticker on his windshield. 634 00:35:53,340 --> 00:35:55,340 Think NAS CAR will black-flag him for that. 635 00:35:55,380 --> 00:35:56,820 He sold the windshield! 636 00:35:57,060 --> 00:36:00,740 This sticker is dangerous and inconvenient, but I love Fig Newtons. 637 00:36:02,340 --> 00:36:04,420 Ricky Bobby started this race in the back... 638 00:36:04,460 --> 00:36:06,900 ...but he's making no friends on the way to the front. 639 00:36:07,140 --> 00:36:10,740 I'm all about getting to the front tonight, Lucius. Let's go! Let's move it! 640 00:36:11,020 --> 00:36:12,860 Well, he's driving like a man possessed. 641 00:36:13,100 --> 00:36:16,860 I'm not even sure he realizes how much damage he's doing to his car. 642 00:36:19,460 --> 00:36:24,100 Hey, Ricky. You know you're driving like a pissed-off teenager, okay? 643 00:36:24,340 --> 00:36:25,980 Where is that Frenchy? 644 00:36:30,420 --> 00:36:32,220 I got you, Pepe Le Bitch. 645 00:36:33,780 --> 00:36:35,500 Oh, Ricky Bobby. 646 00:36:37,380 --> 00:36:39,420 Hey, it's me, America. 647 00:36:43,460 --> 00:36:45,020 Yeah, I'm here. 648 00:36:45,260 --> 00:36:47,620 You have spilled my macchiato. 649 00:36:49,380 --> 00:36:50,580 Look at Girard in the 55. 650 00:36:50,820 --> 00:36:54,660 He's made that car three lanes wide, but he's still fast. 651 00:36:54,900 --> 00:36:58,620 No, no, no, my friend. This way also closed. Not this way. 652 00:37:00,300 --> 00:37:02,460 Lucius, what's he doing? He's everywhere at once. 653 00:37:02,500 --> 00:37:05,020 Guy's dangerous, Ricky. He's like a cobra. Back off! 654 00:37:05,260 --> 00:37:07,260 Where's Cal? I need a little support here! 655 00:37:09,380 --> 00:37:10,940 Tell Ricky I'm on my way. 656 00:37:16,500 --> 00:37:18,100 Damn it! 657 00:37:18,380 --> 00:37:19,980 Hey, Ricky, listen. 658 00:37:20,260 --> 00:37:26,140 Cal blew out his engine. You have no backup. Back off! 659 00:37:26,380 --> 00:37:29,420 I ain't backing off. I'm Ricky Bobby, I'm the best there is. 660 00:37:29,660 --> 00:37:32,340 He's too good, Ricky. Lay off! 661 00:37:33,380 --> 00:37:35,380 Bobby's boxed in. There's nowhere to go there. 662 00:37:37,860 --> 00:37:41,340 He's gonna try the outside move again. I don't know if it's gonna work. 663 00:37:41,380 --> 00:37:43,140 Come on, Daddy! 664 00:37:43,380 --> 00:37:44,980 Come on, Daddy! Whoop his butt! 665 00:37:45,220 --> 00:37:47,740 Send that weird man back to Indonesia. 666 00:37:51,500 --> 00:37:53,420 -Come on! -Bobby moves to the outside. 667 00:37:53,660 --> 00:37:55,380 Not a lot of room. He's in the wall! 668 00:37:55,460 --> 00:37:57,740 Bobby is sliding, slamming into the wall. 669 00:38:03,860 --> 00:38:05,700 He's airborne! 670 00:38:07,580 --> 00:38:10,300 Yep. I'm flying through the air. This is not good. 671 00:38:10,340 --> 00:38:13,140 -Ricky! -Cool! 672 00:38:22,460 --> 00:38:24,020 Ricky! 673 00:38:31,100 --> 00:38:32,420 Peaches and cream! 674 00:38:36,020 --> 00:38:38,500 The car comes to rest in a big cloud of smoke. 675 00:38:38,740 --> 00:38:40,620 Ricky Bobby appears to be okay... 676 00:38:40,860 --> 00:38:43,340 ...but that Wonder Bread car is toast. 677 00:38:43,380 --> 00:38:45,220 Fantastic. 678 00:38:45,460 --> 00:38:48,020 Oh, my God! Ricky! 679 00:38:48,540 --> 00:38:51,340 Hakuna matata, bitches. 680 00:38:57,860 --> 00:39:00,820 It's okay, guys, it's just a wreck. Ricky can handle it. 681 00:39:01,060 --> 00:39:04,420 Now, that's one of the nastiest wrecks you'll ever see. 682 00:39:04,460 --> 00:39:06,660 Oh, no, no, no. 683 00:39:06,900 --> 00:39:08,860 It's all right. You're safe. 684 00:39:09,100 --> 00:39:11,020 -You're safe. -We got you. We're here. 685 00:39:11,260 --> 00:39:12,500 I'm on fire. 686 00:39:12,740 --> 00:39:15,020 It's all right. It's all right, you're not on fire! 687 00:39:15,260 --> 00:39:18,980 -You're lying! I'm on fire! -There is no fire. 688 00:39:19,220 --> 00:39:21,700 -I'm on fire. I don't wanna die. -Come back here. 689 00:39:21,940 --> 00:39:25,500 But something looks wrong. I mean, he's running around like he's on fire. 690 00:39:25,740 --> 00:39:29,380 Oh, my God! Help me! I don't wanna die! Stop, drop, and roll! 691 00:39:29,660 --> 00:39:33,140 -You're not on fire, Ricky Bobby! -I'm on fire! 692 00:39:33,380 --> 00:39:34,740 You're not on fire. 693 00:39:35,380 --> 00:39:38,220 But I'm not even sure he even knows where he's at right now. 694 00:39:38,460 --> 00:39:43,340 This makes us all realize the kind of pressure these drivers are under. 695 00:39:43,380 --> 00:39:44,940 Mr. Bobby, come on down here. 696 00:39:45,180 --> 00:39:48,740 Help me, Jesus! Help me, Jewish God! 697 00:39:48,980 --> 00:39:50,460 Help me, Allah! 698 00:39:52,020 --> 00:39:53,260 Help me, Tom Cruise! 699 00:39:53,300 --> 00:39:56,020 But how did he get down to his underwear that fast? 700 00:39:56,260 --> 00:39:59,460 Tom Cruise, use your witchcraft on me to get the fire off me! 701 00:39:59,500 --> 00:40:00,940 Look. Here, help's coming. 702 00:40:01,220 --> 00:40:02,860 -Wait a minute! -It's Cal Naughton. 703 00:40:04,020 --> 00:40:07,340 Oh, God! Please don't let the invisible fire burn my friend! 704 00:40:08,420 --> 00:40:11,940 I got you! I got you, man! I'll help you! 705 00:40:12,220 --> 00:40:15,860 He's jumping on Ricky, trying to put the nonexistent fire out. 706 00:40:16,100 --> 00:40:17,580 Now, that's a teammate right there. 707 00:40:17,820 --> 00:40:19,420 This is going downhill fast. 708 00:40:19,460 --> 00:40:22,380 It would be a great time to go to commercial break. 709 00:40:23,260 --> 00:40:24,740 Help me, Oprah Winfrey! 710 00:40:26,460 --> 00:40:30,500 You know, Larry, there's good days in racing, and there's bad days. 711 00:40:30,740 --> 00:40:34,020 Ricky Bobby just had himself a bad day. 712 00:40:42,460 --> 00:40:44,020 He's suffering from catatonic shock. 713 00:40:44,260 --> 00:40:47,740 His injuries are minor, but right now he can't deal with the trauma of the wreck. 714 00:40:47,980 --> 00:40:51,100 Golly, this is a hard decision. 715 00:40:51,340 --> 00:40:56,180 But I have thought about it, and I want the plug pulled. 716 00:40:56,420 --> 00:40:57,700 Yeah. 717 00:40:57,940 --> 00:41:00,220 Ma'am, your husband's not dying. 718 00:41:00,460 --> 00:41:02,620 He's just taking a nap. 719 00:41:03,260 --> 00:41:05,060 -Just look at him. -No, I'm not lying. 720 00:41:05,300 --> 00:41:07,500 I've never seen him make that noise. Ever. 721 00:41:08,980 --> 00:41:11,220 Got more plugs in him than a Circuit City. 722 00:41:11,300 --> 00:41:16,060 Oh, baby. Mama loves you so much. 723 00:41:16,780 --> 00:41:20,340 Hey, Ricky. It's me, Cal. 724 00:41:20,580 --> 00:41:24,940 Just want you to know, I got your back, bro. No matter what. 725 00:41:25,780 --> 00:41:28,340 There's something I want to get off my chest... 726 00:41:28,380 --> 00:41:32,380 ...and it's about that summer when you went away to community college. 727 00:41:32,420 --> 00:41:36,060 I got a offer to do Playgirl magazine... 728 00:41:36,940 --> 00:41:38,660 ...and I did it. 729 00:41:38,900 --> 00:41:42,140 I did a full spread for Playgirl magazine. 730 00:41:42,740 --> 00:41:46,540 I mean spread, man. I pulled my butt apart and stuff... 731 00:41:47,220 --> 00:41:51,060 ...and I was totally nude, and it was weird. 732 00:41:51,300 --> 00:41:52,980 You probably didn't hear about it... 733 00:41:53,220 --> 00:41:55,420 ...because I went under the name of Mike Honcho. 734 00:41:55,660 --> 00:41:57,300 But I just wanted you to know that. 735 00:41:57,540 --> 00:42:01,300 If you could hear me, if it got into your brain somehow... 736 00:42:01,540 --> 00:42:03,740 ...that I spread my butt cheeks as Mike Honcho. 737 00:42:03,980 --> 00:42:06,820 "Are you there, God? It's me, Margaret. 738 00:42:07,060 --> 00:42:10,940 Gretchen, my friend, got her period. I'm so jealous, God. 739 00:42:11,180 --> 00:42:14,100 I hate myself for being so jealous, but I am. 740 00:42:14,340 --> 00:42:16,380 I wish you'd help me just a little. 741 00:42:16,660 --> 00:42:21,180 Nancy's sure she's going to get it soon too. And if I'm last...." 742 00:42:21,580 --> 00:42:24,380 Hey, Ricky. Ricky! 743 00:42:24,780 --> 00:42:26,620 Come on, man, wake up. 744 00:42:26,860 --> 00:42:28,540 Are you faking it? 745 00:42:31,420 --> 00:42:35,300 Are you faking it? Fake it! 746 00:42:39,820 --> 00:42:43,300 I don't know how much longer I can take seeing you like this. 747 00:42:44,100 --> 00:42:47,940 I am not gonna let you die here... 748 00:42:48,220 --> 00:42:50,100 ...like some kind of vegetable. 749 00:42:50,380 --> 00:42:52,540 I'm gonna put an end to this right now. 750 00:42:52,820 --> 00:42:54,380 Get all this crap off you. 751 00:42:54,660 --> 00:42:56,700 You don't need any of this crap. 752 00:42:59,540 --> 00:43:02,140 This is it. This is how it ends. 753 00:43:02,380 --> 00:43:03,820 This is how Shake and Bake ends. 754 00:43:04,340 --> 00:43:06,660 It's shadow time, buddy. 755 00:43:09,340 --> 00:43:11,740 It's time to go home to Jesus. 756 00:43:12,580 --> 00:43:14,460 Goodbye, buddy. 757 00:43:18,860 --> 00:43:20,420 Oh, wow, you definitely-- 758 00:43:20,460 --> 00:43:22,980 You definitely still got some fight in you. 759 00:43:25,940 --> 00:43:27,500 Okay, maybe we give this another day. 760 00:43:28,380 --> 00:43:31,340 Middle. I'll go up to the middle. Let's play some defense! 761 00:43:33,460 --> 00:43:36,340 I just wanna say thanks, doc, for taking care of our boy here. 762 00:43:36,580 --> 00:43:39,740 -Oh, shit. -That's a foul! That's a foul! 763 00:43:39,980 --> 00:43:41,420 Doc, give it to me straight. 764 00:43:41,460 --> 00:43:43,820 Is he ever gonna be able to walk again? 765 00:43:44,060 --> 00:43:46,900 Oh, I'm sorry, I thought someone had told you. He's fine. 766 00:43:47,140 --> 00:43:48,780 He found that wheelchair in the hallway. 767 00:43:49,020 --> 00:43:51,860 His paralysis is entirely psychosomatic. 768 00:43:52,100 --> 00:43:55,660 But we all need to go along with this, because he's in a delicate state. 769 00:43:55,940 --> 00:43:59,340 So when you say psychosomatic, you mean, like... 770 00:43:59,620 --> 00:44:02,100 ...he could start a fire with his thoughts? 771 00:44:02,340 --> 00:44:04,300 No, not at all. It means it's all in his mind. 772 00:44:04,380 --> 00:44:08,180 I'm saying, sometimes you get a knock on the head, you get special powers. 773 00:44:08,420 --> 00:44:10,700 It happens all the time. Read a comic book, okay? 774 00:44:10,940 --> 00:44:12,460 Everyone's real friendly. 775 00:44:12,500 --> 00:44:15,500 It doesn't hurt being Ricky Bobby. I'm not gonna lie to you. 776 00:44:15,740 --> 00:44:17,300 So how's the physical therapy going? 777 00:44:17,540 --> 00:44:20,380 Oh, I gave that up. Yeah, I gave that up... 778 00:44:20,620 --> 00:44:23,700 ...after maybe the first day. Within the first hour, I gave that up. 779 00:44:23,940 --> 00:44:25,980 I'm through lying to myself, you know? 780 00:44:26,220 --> 00:44:29,580 It's time to be mature about this and just face facts. 781 00:44:29,820 --> 00:44:32,340 I bought myself a hundred-thousand-dollar... 782 00:44:32,380 --> 00:44:33,780 ...handicap-accessible van... 783 00:44:34,020 --> 00:44:37,660 ...with the captain's chairs and the DVD plasma screens in the back for the kids. 784 00:44:37,900 --> 00:44:40,300 -You all paid up on that? -Yeah. That's all paid in full. 785 00:44:40,540 --> 00:44:43,500 It's parked out there. And then the next thing I gotta do... 786 00:44:43,740 --> 00:44:47,660 ...is I just gotta have a sit-down with Carley and just let her know... 787 00:44:49,180 --> 00:44:53,860 ...that it's okay for her to seek the comfort of other men. 788 00:44:54,340 --> 00:44:58,180 Because she's gotta run wild. You can't keep something like that back. 789 00:44:58,300 --> 00:44:59,740 Hold on, man. Hold.... 790 00:45:00,380 --> 00:45:02,220 -We gotta tell him. -Now? 791 00:45:02,300 --> 00:45:05,180 No, I don't care what the doctor said, we gotta tell him now. 792 00:45:05,460 --> 00:45:06,900 Ricky, the doctor told us... 793 00:45:07,180 --> 00:45:09,900 ...that we should let you work it out in your own sweet time... 794 00:45:10,140 --> 00:45:11,340 ...but, Ricky, you can walk. 795 00:45:11,580 --> 00:45:13,420 What did you just say? 796 00:45:13,460 --> 00:45:16,580 He's telling you the truth, man. It's all in your head. 797 00:45:19,460 --> 00:45:22,300 You sick sons of bitches! 798 00:45:22,540 --> 00:45:24,300 I mean, you walk in that door... 799 00:45:24,540 --> 00:45:28,020 ...on your two legs, all fat and cocky... 800 00:45:28,260 --> 00:45:32,700 ...and looking at me in my chair, and you tell me it's all in my head? 801 00:45:32,940 --> 00:45:34,900 I hope that both of you have sons. 802 00:45:35,180 --> 00:45:40,100 Handsome, beautiful, articulate sons who are talented and star athletes... 803 00:45:40,420 --> 00:45:42,180 ...and they have their legs taken away! 804 00:45:42,420 --> 00:45:44,340 I pray you know that pain and that hurt. 805 00:45:44,420 --> 00:45:46,740 Don't you put that evil on me, Ricky Bobby! 806 00:45:46,980 --> 00:45:51,420 Don't you put that on us! You are not paralyzed! 807 00:45:51,460 --> 00:45:53,340 I am so paralyzed! 808 00:45:53,380 --> 00:45:56,900 -No, no, no! No, he needs to know! -Getting a little rough on him. 809 00:45:57,140 --> 00:45:59,420 -He's always crying! -Tough love, it is. Tough love. 810 00:45:59,660 --> 00:46:02,460 - Wake up, idiot! -You wanna know what I am?! 811 00:46:02,500 --> 00:46:05,020 You wanna see what my life is?! 812 00:46:05,260 --> 00:46:06,340 Don't do it. 813 00:46:06,580 --> 00:46:10,780 -You wanna see what's going on here? -Don't you stick that knife in your leg. 814 00:46:19,260 --> 00:46:21,860 -Man! -Hold on, hold on. 815 00:46:23,140 --> 00:46:25,460 -Hold on, now. Walk it off. -Oh, that hurts. 816 00:46:25,500 --> 00:46:26,860 -Oh, my--! -Walk it off. 817 00:46:27,100 --> 00:46:28,860 Stretch, stretch. Stretch it out. 818 00:46:29,100 --> 00:46:31,460 Hey, man. You can walk! You can walk! 819 00:46:31,700 --> 00:46:33,380 I can walk! 820 00:46:34,100 --> 00:46:36,460 -I think I touched a nerve. -Right there. 821 00:46:36,500 --> 00:46:39,380 All right, we got it, we got it. Hold it right there. 822 00:46:39,420 --> 00:46:40,780 Maybe don't touch it. 823 00:46:41,020 --> 00:46:42,900 -Can you feel it? -I can! 824 00:46:43,180 --> 00:46:45,420 We'll use this knife to pry it out. We'll pull it out. 825 00:46:45,660 --> 00:46:48,300 -Now we got two in there. -Just don't think about it. 826 00:46:48,380 --> 00:46:50,700 -We're going down a bad path. -Cut around the meat. 827 00:46:50,940 --> 00:46:52,580 I'll cut right here. Stretch it out. 828 00:46:52,820 --> 00:46:55,140 Just take out a plug of meat. Just like a deer. 829 00:46:55,380 --> 00:46:58,060 We gotta wiggle it a little bit. That's it. Can you feel that? 830 00:46:58,300 --> 00:47:00,060 -Yeah, I feel that. -You are back! 831 00:47:00,300 --> 00:47:01,820 I love you guys! 832 00:47:02,420 --> 00:47:06,180 Hey, I'm sorry, guys. I mean, I hope your boys don't lose their legs. 833 00:47:06,420 --> 00:47:09,540 -Thanks, buddy. -So when do I get to drive again? 834 00:47:09,780 --> 00:47:12,780 Well, that's the thing. The doctor said you suffered major trauma... 835 00:47:13,020 --> 00:47:15,380 ...and he thinks you should take it slow for a while. 836 00:47:15,460 --> 00:47:19,300 Yeah, so, I was thinking, like, while you're resting up and stuff... 837 00:47:19,380 --> 00:47:22,300 -...maybe you could let me win a few. -Well, there you go. 838 00:47:22,540 --> 00:47:24,340 Yeah, that ain't gonna happen. 839 00:47:24,940 --> 00:47:27,860 Yeah. I'm Ricky Bobby. I mean, you know how I play it. 840 00:47:28,100 --> 00:47:30,300 -Yeah. -First or last, right, baby? 841 00:47:30,340 --> 00:47:32,820 -Don't know what I was thinking. -Besides... 842 00:47:33,060 --> 00:47:35,860 ...Dennit Jr. must be freaking out. All the money he's losing? 843 00:47:36,100 --> 00:47:37,580 Without me on the track? 844 00:47:37,820 --> 00:47:39,060 I mean, I just laugh... 845 00:47:39,300 --> 00:47:42,220 ...thinking about him whining all the time, bitching and moaning: 846 00:47:42,460 --> 00:47:44,300 "Damn, I wish Ricky was here." 847 00:47:44,540 --> 00:47:46,140 You know what I mean? 848 00:47:50,020 --> 00:47:52,020 What? 849 00:47:52,300 --> 00:47:54,580 Frenchy can drive. 850 00:47:58,300 --> 00:47:59,740 Oh, no. 851 00:48:27,660 --> 00:48:29,340 Very good. 852 00:48:29,580 --> 00:48:31,740 C'est la vie and que sera, sera. 853 00:48:31,980 --> 00:48:34,980 It looks like the NASCAR has gone French. 854 00:48:35,460 --> 00:48:36,900 Well, in other news, Ricky Bobby... 855 00:48:37,140 --> 00:48:40,220 ...is going to be running some test laps this weekend at Rockingham... 856 00:48:40,460 --> 00:48:42,580 ...in an attempt to come back from his grisly crash. 857 00:48:44,300 --> 00:48:46,340 It's one of the hardest things to do in racing. 858 00:48:46,380 --> 00:48:49,180 To try to bounce back after a devastating, violent wreck. 859 00:48:49,420 --> 00:48:51,740 Ricky Bobby was traumatized during the incident. 860 00:48:51,980 --> 00:48:53,300 All right, baby. Come on, now. 861 00:48:53,340 --> 00:48:56,740 But today he gets to strap back into a racecar for the first time since... 862 00:48:57,020 --> 00:48:59,140 ...to try to show he can still get the job done. 863 00:48:59,420 --> 00:49:02,500 -He's gonna be great. Yep. -He's gonna be great, sure. 864 00:49:02,740 --> 00:49:05,420 Would you stop staring at me like that, Susan? I swear... 865 00:49:05,660 --> 00:49:08,220 ...you are the weirdest little girl I've ever seen. 866 00:49:08,460 --> 00:49:11,100 Okay, I'm really gonna open it up! 867 00:49:14,300 --> 00:49:17,380 I missed you, Mama Speed. Ricky Bobby's back. 868 00:49:17,420 --> 00:49:19,300 Wait, how fast is he going? 869 00:49:19,340 --> 00:49:21,020 Twenty-six miles an hour. 870 00:49:23,420 --> 00:49:26,820 What were those things? Were those the other cars? 871 00:49:32,420 --> 00:49:34,780 Oh, God. So fast. 872 00:49:35,020 --> 00:49:36,700 Go, baby! There you are. 873 00:49:37,060 --> 00:49:38,660 Am I on fire? I'm on fire. 874 00:49:38,900 --> 00:49:40,860 -No, no, you're not on fire. -Stretch it out. 875 00:49:41,100 --> 00:49:42,620 -It's okay, baby. -Take it easy. 876 00:49:44,340 --> 00:49:46,900 -Oh, God, I'm gonna get sick. -Oh, God. 877 00:49:47,180 --> 00:49:50,940 -Oh, he's in his underwear again. -Ricky! Please put your clothes on. 878 00:49:51,180 --> 00:49:53,300 He's in his underwear again. Go get him, fellas. 879 00:49:53,540 --> 00:49:54,820 Oh, Lord. 880 00:49:55,060 --> 00:49:57,860 You know who's gonna be number one at Dennit Racing? 881 00:49:58,620 --> 00:50:01,460 -Not Ricky? -I'm gonna windmill you. 882 00:50:01,500 --> 00:50:04,380 Mr. Cal Naughton Jr. 883 00:50:04,620 --> 00:50:07,300 -Come back at him. It's the only way. -Who are you? 884 00:50:07,380 --> 00:50:09,100 -Number one. -No. 885 00:50:09,380 --> 00:50:12,740 -Oh, yes, ma'am. -Ricky! Come on, man! 886 00:50:13,020 --> 00:50:14,460 It's embarrassing. 887 00:50:14,500 --> 00:50:18,300 The ninjas are trying to get me. The ninjas are trying to get me. 888 00:50:18,540 --> 00:50:20,420 -Oh, my God. -What happened? 889 00:50:20,460 --> 00:50:22,940 What happened? He's done. He's done. 890 00:50:23,180 --> 00:50:25,620 That's what's happened. It's over. He's finished. 891 00:50:25,940 --> 00:50:27,380 What's gonna happen to me? 892 00:50:27,620 --> 00:50:30,620 I feel like I was riding inside an asteroid or a comet or something. 893 00:50:30,860 --> 00:50:32,860 Yeah, you were going fast. 894 00:50:33,100 --> 00:50:35,180 -Look at that. -What are we gonna do? 895 00:50:35,460 --> 00:50:37,900 This is ugly. This is bad for all of us. Look at that. 896 00:50:38,180 --> 00:50:41,100 -I gotta go check on cuckoo bird. -No, cuckoo's okay. 897 00:50:41,340 --> 00:50:43,980 Why don't you get over there and settle down Carley for me? 898 00:50:44,220 --> 00:50:46,300 -Could you do that for me? -Yes, sir. 899 00:50:46,340 --> 00:50:47,940 There you go. 900 00:50:49,260 --> 00:50:51,300 What began as a day of hope and optimism... 901 00:50:51,340 --> 00:50:54,700 ...for Ricky Bobby and his race team has ended here in sad disappointment. 902 00:50:54,940 --> 00:50:56,180 There we go, boy. 903 00:50:56,420 --> 00:50:58,260 -I lost all muscle control. -Yeah, you did. 904 00:50:58,300 --> 00:51:01,780 -He just lost his muscle control is all. -I lost my muscle control. 905 00:51:02,460 --> 00:51:05,460 He's fine. He just can't control the muscles. 906 00:51:14,940 --> 00:51:17,420 -Thanks for the lift, Hershell. -Yeah, no problem. 907 00:51:23,260 --> 00:51:24,540 Jenga! 908 00:51:26,460 --> 00:51:27,820 I love you, Cal. 909 00:51:29,300 --> 00:51:31,620 -Good one, kiddo. -What the hell's going on? 910 00:51:31,860 --> 00:51:33,980 Hey, Ricky, nice of you to stop by for a visit. 911 00:51:34,220 --> 00:51:37,020 What do you mean, a visit? This is my house. 912 00:51:37,260 --> 00:51:38,660 Baby... 913 00:51:38,900 --> 00:51:41,060 ...shoot. I'm so sorry. 914 00:51:41,300 --> 00:51:43,380 I really-- I didn't want it to be this way. 915 00:51:43,660 --> 00:51:46,140 Hey, what happened to the family portrait? 916 00:51:46,820 --> 00:51:48,980 You just crudely pasted your face over mine. 917 00:51:49,260 --> 00:51:51,100 We're getting married, Ricky. 918 00:51:51,340 --> 00:51:53,700 And we're getting matching leprechaun tattoos. 919 00:51:53,940 --> 00:51:55,820 Isn't that cute? With a little pot of gold. 920 00:51:56,060 --> 00:51:58,300 Is this some kind of joke? You guys putting me on? 921 00:51:58,340 --> 00:52:02,420 I was gone three hours. Dennit just fired me from the team. 922 00:52:03,220 --> 00:52:04,500 Ricky, you and I... 923 00:52:04,740 --> 00:52:08,380 ...we both know that this marriage has been over for a long, long time. 924 00:52:08,460 --> 00:52:11,340 No! I honestly did not know that! 925 00:52:11,700 --> 00:52:16,180 Ricky, you can't race no more. 926 00:52:17,460 --> 00:52:21,340 I'm not going back to being poor and dancing at the Wizard's Den. 927 00:52:21,380 --> 00:52:23,300 You know, my old boyfriend Greg? 928 00:52:23,340 --> 00:52:25,500 He still works there and he was crazy. 929 00:52:25,740 --> 00:52:27,700 Baby, stop. 930 00:52:28,300 --> 00:52:32,300 Wait. Hold on. Hold on. Just a second. Let me make sure I got this straight. 931 00:52:33,260 --> 00:52:34,980 Are you asking me for a divorce? 932 00:52:35,220 --> 00:52:37,660 -Yay! Two Christmases! -Yay! Two Christmases! 933 00:52:37,900 --> 00:52:39,740 Cal? 934 00:52:39,980 --> 00:52:41,780 How could you do this to me, man? 935 00:52:42,020 --> 00:52:45,540 Ricky, your marriage was a hollow shell. 936 00:52:45,780 --> 00:52:47,380 It was a cruel charade. 937 00:52:47,620 --> 00:52:49,660 She just gave me the 411 on the whole deal. 938 00:52:49,940 --> 00:52:53,420 And you know what else? You never let me win one time. 939 00:52:53,460 --> 00:52:55,900 I thought we had a good thing going. Shake and Bake. 940 00:52:56,140 --> 00:52:58,780 You're doing great. You just keep it up. Keep it up. 941 00:52:59,020 --> 00:53:01,980 And Mr. Dennit told me that it's my time now. 942 00:53:02,220 --> 00:53:04,300 -Oh, really? -That Shake and Bake is dead. 943 00:53:04,340 --> 00:53:06,940 And we just came up with a new nickname. 944 00:53:07,180 --> 00:53:09,500 -It's so good. It's so good. -I got a new nickname. 945 00:53:09,820 --> 00:53:12,580 The Magic Man. Now you see me... 946 00:53:13,460 --> 00:53:15,020 ...now you don't. 947 00:53:15,260 --> 00:53:17,460 That is the stupidest nickname I've ever heard. 948 00:53:17,500 --> 00:53:19,300 Is it, Ricky? 949 00:53:19,340 --> 00:53:21,660 Because I think you wish you thought of it. 950 00:53:23,860 --> 00:53:26,420 All right. You got me. That's an awesome nickname. 951 00:53:26,460 --> 00:53:28,620 I've always had a lot of great ideas. 952 00:53:28,900 --> 00:53:32,820 I also think I might design a car that's in the shape of a rabbit. 953 00:53:33,100 --> 00:53:36,620 It might poop out little real rabbits out the back that'll run around the track. 954 00:53:36,860 --> 00:53:39,180 You have live rabbits being pooped out onto a track? 955 00:53:39,420 --> 00:53:42,100 If I win, I might do a special thing with David Copperfield... 956 00:53:42,340 --> 00:53:44,460 ...where he hides in my car in the passenger seat... 957 00:53:44,700 --> 00:53:47,020 ...and he just flings magic stuff out the window. 958 00:53:47,460 --> 00:53:49,100 Did you run any of this by NASCAR? 959 00:53:49,340 --> 00:53:52,900 Watch the mail for that invitation to the wedding, because I want you there. 960 00:53:53,140 --> 00:53:54,420 -What?! -I know it... 961 00:53:54,460 --> 00:53:57,380 ...that some bad stuff happened just now, but in time-- 962 00:53:57,460 --> 00:53:59,380 The wedding's not for a couple of weeks. 963 00:53:59,460 --> 00:54:01,300 Why would I come to your guys' wedding? 964 00:54:01,540 --> 00:54:03,500 --you're gonna get over it and be my best man. 965 00:54:03,740 --> 00:54:05,220 I'm not gonna be your best man! 966 00:54:05,460 --> 00:54:07,380 Baby, he's not gonna come to the wedding. 967 00:54:07,420 --> 00:54:11,500 Cal, do you realize the implications of your actions right now? 968 00:54:11,740 --> 00:54:13,060 What's "implication" mean? 969 00:54:13,300 --> 00:54:14,620 We are no longer friends. 970 00:54:14,900 --> 00:54:17,460 -Why? -What do you mean, "Why?" 971 00:54:18,460 --> 00:54:19,820 You're wrecking my life! 972 00:54:20,060 --> 00:54:22,660 You just lost your wife. You just lost your job. 973 00:54:22,900 --> 00:54:25,540 Don't throw out your best friend because of your anger. 974 00:54:26,220 --> 00:54:29,300 -That's absolutely ridiculous, man. -Ricky... 975 00:54:29,380 --> 00:54:34,300 ...remember, the field mouse is fast, but the owl sees at night. 976 00:54:38,220 --> 00:54:39,900 That's kind of creepy, ain't it? 977 00:54:43,460 --> 00:54:46,460 -Hey, Ricky, I'll call you tomorrow. -Shut up. 978 00:54:46,500 --> 00:54:49,300 -Bye, kids. I'll see you next weekend. -Bye. 979 00:54:53,860 --> 00:54:57,620 Ricky! Boys! Is everything all right? 980 00:54:57,900 --> 00:55:01,460 Mama, we got nowhere to go. Carley and Cal took everything. 981 00:55:01,700 --> 00:55:03,700 Well, you're home now, and you got your mama. 982 00:55:03,940 --> 00:55:05,100 Get in here, boys. Come on. 983 00:55:05,380 --> 00:55:07,980 Come on. Get in this house. 984 00:55:14,860 --> 00:55:17,100 Hey, Ricky. Are you on fire? 985 00:55:17,900 --> 00:55:21,220 -Nice denim shorts, dude. -Hey, shut up, man. 986 00:55:33,740 --> 00:55:35,220 Hump me! 987 00:55:39,220 --> 00:55:41,060 Now, you watch yourself. 988 00:55:41,300 --> 00:55:44,460 Yes, sir. I'm sorry. I promise it won't happen again. 989 00:55:51,420 --> 00:55:52,940 Hey, sorry, man. 990 00:56:01,860 --> 00:56:03,260 Hey. 991 00:56:03,580 --> 00:56:05,460 I lost my license. 992 00:56:05,500 --> 00:56:07,820 That's why I'm on the bus. I'm delivering pizzas. 993 00:56:08,060 --> 00:56:10,340 Motherfucker, what makes you think I care? 994 00:56:10,620 --> 00:56:13,420 Shut the fuck up! 995 00:56:14,300 --> 00:56:16,140 I was just telling you that because-- 996 00:56:16,380 --> 00:56:19,540 Like I said, I lost my license. I've been having a lot of problems lately. 997 00:56:19,780 --> 00:56:22,300 Problems? I don't wanna hear about your damn problems. 998 00:56:22,540 --> 00:56:24,140 Everybody got problems. 999 00:56:24,380 --> 00:56:26,460 My mama got problems. She just lost her leg. 1000 00:56:26,500 --> 00:56:30,340 My cousin Pookie just lost a testicle. My dog threw up somebody's finger. 1001 00:56:30,580 --> 00:56:32,100 That's a problem. 1002 00:56:32,340 --> 00:56:35,180 I really regret opening my mouth and talking to you. 1003 00:56:37,420 --> 00:56:40,140 -Sorry. Sorry. -Get out of the road! 1004 00:56:40,380 --> 00:56:43,340 Hey, come on, man. I'm on a bike. Relax. 1005 00:56:43,380 --> 00:56:45,700 -Hey, shut up! -Idiot! 1006 00:56:49,660 --> 00:56:51,340 It's open. 1007 00:56:53,460 --> 00:56:55,340 Hugalo's Pizza. We are pizza. 1008 00:56:57,380 --> 00:57:00,420 -You are pizza? -Yeah, we are pizza. I gotta say it. 1009 00:57:02,740 --> 00:57:06,020 Either close the door or come in. I got weed in here, cowboy. 1010 00:57:12,020 --> 00:57:15,100 You got three pizzas that haven't been eaten just sitting over there. 1011 00:57:15,340 --> 00:57:18,020 I know. I've been calling them all day trying to get you... 1012 00:57:18,300 --> 00:57:20,540 ...but they keep sending me different delivery people. 1013 00:57:20,780 --> 00:57:22,460 Trying to get me? Why? 1014 00:57:22,700 --> 00:57:24,340 Because I'm your daddy, that's why. 1015 00:57:26,100 --> 00:57:29,180 -What did you just say? -I said, I'm your daddy. 1016 00:57:29,420 --> 00:57:30,860 I'm Reese Bobby. 1017 00:57:31,100 --> 00:57:35,860 Me and your mama did it in a Rustler Steak House bathroom when I was 17. 1018 00:57:36,100 --> 00:57:37,860 And then you showed up. 1019 00:57:44,620 --> 00:57:46,500 Hey, son. 1020 00:57:46,740 --> 00:57:50,060 -Son! Son, did this go good? -No! 1021 00:57:50,340 --> 00:57:53,260 -Seems to me like it went pretty good. -You're not my dad. 1022 00:57:53,300 --> 00:57:55,660 -It got a little heated, but.... -Stop talking to me! 1023 00:57:55,900 --> 00:57:59,020 Hey, is that a Huffy? That's a nice-looking bike, boy. 1024 00:57:59,260 --> 00:58:01,020 I can't believe it! 1025 00:58:01,260 --> 00:58:04,420 I mean, he's been blowing me off for 25 years... 1026 00:58:04,460 --> 00:58:07,140 ...and now he wants to get to know me? 1027 00:58:07,380 --> 00:58:09,180 How the hell did he even find me? 1028 00:58:09,420 --> 00:58:10,580 I called him. 1029 00:58:10,820 --> 00:58:13,700 Are you kidding me? Mama, why did you go do that? 1030 00:58:13,940 --> 00:58:15,580 Son, you need help. 1031 00:58:15,820 --> 00:58:18,420 -I know he's a son of a bitch. -He's scary. 1032 00:58:18,460 --> 00:58:22,420 But you're a grown man. You're delivering pizzas on a bike. 1033 00:58:22,700 --> 00:58:25,300 How'd you even get hooked up with him in the first place? 1034 00:58:25,580 --> 00:58:28,300 You probably couldn't tell by looking at him now... 1035 00:58:28,700 --> 00:58:31,140 ...but your daddy used to be a real charmer. 1036 00:58:31,380 --> 00:58:36,220 And that night in the ladies' room of the Rustler Steak House, he chose me. 1037 00:58:36,460 --> 00:58:37,660 -In a ladies' room? -Shut up in here! I'm trying to sleep! 1038 00:58:37,660 --> 00:58:40,980 -In a ladies' room? -Shut up in here! I'm trying to sleep! 1039 00:58:41,220 --> 00:58:44,100 One of you turds is about to get smacked in the mouth! 1040 00:58:44,340 --> 00:58:47,620 Hey, stop yelling at me, okay? I'm your dad. You're 7 years old. 1041 00:58:47,860 --> 00:58:49,460 Don't talk like that. 1042 00:58:51,900 --> 00:58:53,340 Hey. Hey there, Lucy. 1043 00:58:53,580 --> 00:58:55,420 How you doing? 1044 00:58:56,660 --> 00:58:59,340 Oh, hey there, Ricky. Look, son... 1045 00:59:00,060 --> 00:59:02,460 ...I know you don't want me to be here... 1046 00:59:02,740 --> 00:59:06,660 ...but I saw what happened to you on the television. You saw the fear. 1047 00:59:06,940 --> 00:59:08,860 -I can help you with that, son. -Really? 1048 00:59:09,100 --> 00:59:12,300 What do you care about me or us? You never even met your grandkids. 1049 00:59:12,540 --> 00:59:15,700 -What are you looking at, Popeye? -Shut up, you little pot-licker. 1050 00:59:15,940 --> 00:59:17,340 I'll put you in a microwave. 1051 00:59:17,380 --> 00:59:19,060 Now, you show me the DNA test... 1052 00:59:19,300 --> 00:59:22,260 ...and then maybe I'll say hello to these swamp rats. 1053 00:59:22,300 --> 00:59:27,180 You people shut the hell up! I got a wife in an oxygen tent trying to sleep. 1054 00:59:27,420 --> 00:59:30,420 You better shut up or I'll come over there and rip a hole in that tent. 1055 00:59:30,700 --> 00:59:31,860 Yeah, shut up, Frank! 1056 00:59:32,140 --> 00:59:34,500 Go shave your balls, you dusty old fart! 1057 00:59:34,740 --> 00:59:37,180 Okay, I guess they are my grandkids. 1058 00:59:39,420 --> 00:59:42,340 I know you, son. I know you well. 1059 00:59:42,580 --> 00:59:45,780 You're just like me. Talladega's coming up in a couple of weeks... 1060 00:59:46,020 --> 00:59:48,660 -...and I know you wanna win that thing. -No, I don't. 1061 00:59:49,260 --> 00:59:50,980 Listen, Ricky. 1062 00:59:51,220 --> 00:59:55,140 I'm 55 years old and all I got to my name is a car... 1063 00:59:55,380 --> 00:59:59,180 ...and a duffle bag full of underwear, and sweet, stinky weed. 1064 00:59:59,420 --> 01:00:01,380 How much you selling that weed for, old man? 1065 01:00:01,620 --> 01:00:03,980 I know I screwed up raising you as a boy... 1066 01:00:04,260 --> 01:00:06,300 ...but just let me help you as a man. 1067 01:00:07,540 --> 01:00:11,020 -Do it, Dad. Get your balls back. -Go fast again. 1068 01:00:12,420 --> 01:00:14,340 Fine. I'll do it. 1069 01:00:15,500 --> 01:00:18,660 -But I ain't calling you Daddy. -Well, what you gonna call me? 1070 01:00:18,900 --> 01:00:21,580 All right, Professor Dickweed. What's the plan? 1071 01:00:21,820 --> 01:00:24,900 Well, basically, what happened to you is that you saw the fear. 1072 01:00:25,340 --> 01:00:28,380 So before you can even think about any real driving... 1073 01:00:28,420 --> 01:00:32,420 ...you gotta make friends with that fear. So get in the car. 1074 01:00:39,340 --> 01:00:41,940 What the hell?! There's a goddamn cougar in the car! 1075 01:00:42,220 --> 01:00:44,180 I know there's a cougar, I put it in there. 1076 01:00:44,460 --> 01:00:47,380 You gotta learn to drive with the fear. 1077 01:00:47,420 --> 01:00:51,260 Ain't nothing more damn frightening than driving with a cougar in the car. 1078 01:00:51,300 --> 01:00:53,420 -God, where'd you get that thing? -I trapped it. 1079 01:00:53,660 --> 01:00:56,540 Been keeping it in my bathroom at the motel, feeding it old pizza. 1080 01:00:56,780 --> 01:01:00,020 -Now get back in that car, you hear me? -No, I'm not getting in that car. 1081 01:01:00,260 --> 01:01:04,980 Hey, listen to me. If you're calm, that wondrous big cat will be calm too. 1082 01:01:05,220 --> 01:01:06,620 But if you're scared... 1083 01:01:06,860 --> 01:01:10,420 ...that beautiful death machine will do what God made it to do... 1084 01:01:10,460 --> 01:01:13,300 ...namely, eat you with a smile on its face. 1085 01:01:13,540 --> 01:01:15,500 God, he's just following me wherever I go. 1086 01:01:15,780 --> 01:01:17,220 Well, he's just looking at you. 1087 01:01:17,460 --> 01:01:20,020 You're saying if I just calm down, the cougar will be okay? 1088 01:01:20,260 --> 01:01:23,460 -You got it. -Damn it. Okay. 1089 01:01:23,500 --> 01:01:25,540 Come on, son. You can do it. Come on. 1090 01:01:25,780 --> 01:01:27,340 Oh, come on. 1091 01:01:28,300 --> 01:01:29,460 That's it. 1092 01:01:30,420 --> 01:01:34,260 -And no sudden moves. -Like, is this too fast? Oh, man. See? 1093 01:01:34,300 --> 01:01:36,460 -That's a little quick. -You see what he did? 1094 01:01:36,500 --> 01:01:38,980 You gotta be a little more deliberate in your movement. 1095 01:01:39,220 --> 01:01:41,820 I'm just gonna get in there. I'm just gonna grab the handle. 1096 01:01:42,060 --> 01:01:44,540 I'm gonna get in and drive that car. I'm gonna do it calm. 1097 01:01:44,820 --> 01:01:48,300 -Calm. Piece of cake. -I was just trying to stay calm. 1098 01:01:50,460 --> 01:01:52,900 -Oh, man! -Sometime today, son. 1099 01:01:53,140 --> 01:01:55,460 Okay, here we go. I'm getting in. 1100 01:01:55,540 --> 01:01:57,340 Oh, God, help me! 1101 01:01:58,380 --> 01:02:00,780 -Ricky! Control your heart rate. -Oh, my God! 1102 01:02:03,020 --> 01:02:04,380 Hey, Mama. 1103 01:02:06,460 --> 01:02:08,900 Well, hey there, Ricky. How'd it go? 1104 01:02:09,140 --> 01:02:11,500 Well, I was mauled by a cougar... 1105 01:02:11,740 --> 01:02:14,940 ...learned nothing about driving, and my Crystal Gayle shirt was ruined. 1106 01:02:15,180 --> 01:02:16,900 But other than that, it went fine. 1107 01:02:17,180 --> 01:02:18,340 Where are the boys at? 1108 01:02:18,620 --> 01:02:21,980 I dropped them off at Sunday school at my church about 10 minutes ago. 1109 01:02:22,220 --> 01:02:23,340 Anarchy! 1110 01:02:23,580 --> 01:02:26,740 -Anarchy! Anarchy! -Anarchy! 1111 01:02:26,980 --> 01:02:30,420 -There they are. -What in tarnation? 1112 01:02:30,460 --> 01:02:33,660 -Anarchy! -I don't even know what that means... 1113 01:02:33,900 --> 01:02:36,100 ...but I love it! 1114 01:02:37,900 --> 01:02:40,100 -What in the hell? -That is it! 1115 01:02:40,340 --> 01:02:43,020 That puts the lid right on the jar! 1116 01:02:43,660 --> 01:02:45,140 -Mama! Mama! -No, Ricky, no. 1117 01:02:45,380 --> 01:02:48,700 I will not have my grandbabies acting like shiftless, wild hobos. 1118 01:02:48,980 --> 01:02:51,860 All right, now, you boys listen up, and you listen good. 1119 01:02:52,100 --> 01:02:55,460 Now, I am declaring Granny Law. 1120 01:02:55,500 --> 01:02:59,460 And if you do not obey Granny Law... 1121 01:02:59,500 --> 01:03:02,140 ...I will paint your back porch red. 1122 01:03:02,380 --> 01:03:04,460 Sorry, Granny, but you're shit out of Iuck. 1123 01:03:04,700 --> 01:03:07,060 We make the rules, not you. 1124 01:03:08,420 --> 01:03:10,260 Hey! 1125 01:03:11,460 --> 01:03:14,180 You're gonna break us like wild horses, ain't you? 1126 01:03:14,740 --> 01:03:17,460 It's the beginning of a new age. 1127 01:03:19,500 --> 01:03:21,460 Hey, Derek, it's Ricky. 1128 01:03:21,500 --> 01:03:24,020 Just wondering if you can ditch school... 1129 01:03:24,300 --> 01:03:27,020 ...and take over my shift at the pizza place... 1130 01:03:27,300 --> 01:03:29,420 ...because I got strep throat. 1131 01:03:29,500 --> 01:03:32,100 And it's bad. I don't wanna give it to everyone else. 1132 01:03:32,380 --> 01:03:34,460 So call me back. You know the number. 1133 01:03:35,940 --> 01:03:36,900 Hello. 1134 01:03:37,300 --> 01:03:40,220 Hey, man. How's it going? You wanna come over and party? 1135 01:03:40,460 --> 01:03:41,820 Did you just say "party"? 1136 01:03:42,060 --> 01:03:44,540 You know what? No. Because I still hate you, okay? 1137 01:03:44,780 --> 01:03:47,780 -What are you so mad about? -What do you think I'm mad about? 1138 01:03:48,020 --> 01:03:50,340 Come on, man, that was last week. 1139 01:03:50,580 --> 01:03:53,140 What about the time you ran over my leg with a car? 1140 01:03:53,380 --> 01:03:56,980 -I let that go that day. -Yeah, I remember. 1141 01:03:57,460 --> 01:03:59,020 Wind is kicking up. 1142 01:03:59,940 --> 01:04:01,460 Are you in the hot tub? 1143 01:04:01,740 --> 01:04:04,660 Answer me this: When you're in spa mode... 1144 01:04:05,420 --> 01:04:08,100 ...how come the water level drops in the spa? 1145 01:04:08,340 --> 01:04:11,820 Are you pressing the buttons in the back panel or in the kitchen? 1146 01:04:12,060 --> 01:04:15,300 -I just started pressing stuff. -Hey, don't press all those buttons. 1147 01:04:16,340 --> 01:04:18,980 I'm getting bored. You wanna come over and play G.I. Joes? 1148 01:04:19,220 --> 01:04:20,780 I would love to. No! 1149 01:04:21,340 --> 01:04:23,980 Come on. You know what? Screw you, man. 1150 01:04:24,220 --> 01:04:26,860 Ricky, man, you gotta cross over the anger bridge. 1151 01:04:27,100 --> 01:04:29,020 Come back to the friendship shore. 1152 01:04:29,260 --> 01:04:32,780 -"Cross over the anger bridge"? -Yeah, that's where you're at. 1153 01:04:33,060 --> 01:04:34,740 You're stuck on an anger bridge. 1154 01:04:35,020 --> 01:04:37,700 Can you not see why I'm stuck on the anger bridge? 1155 01:04:38,180 --> 01:04:41,420 Look, I don't know why I'm talking to you, okay? What is it? 1156 01:04:41,460 --> 01:04:45,020 They got bottomless nachos at Bennigan's. 1157 01:04:45,580 --> 01:04:47,940 God, a whole mess of nachos sounds good right now. 1158 01:04:48,180 --> 01:04:50,500 I don't have a car no more. Can you come get me? 1159 01:04:50,740 --> 01:04:54,420 I'll get you. Which one of your cars do you miss the most? I'll bring that one. 1160 01:04:54,660 --> 01:04:56,660 -I miss the Hummer. -I'm coming in the Hummer. 1161 01:04:56,900 --> 01:04:58,420 -Are you ready? -Yeah. No, wait. 1162 01:04:58,660 --> 01:05:01,100 Okay. Our friendship is done. All right? 1163 01:05:01,340 --> 01:05:03,340 -You hear? -You wanna hang out in your house. 1164 01:05:03,420 --> 01:05:05,540 -Come on. -Screw you, dude. I'm hanging up. 1165 01:05:05,820 --> 01:05:07,580 Okay, that's it. Bye. 1166 01:05:08,300 --> 01:05:12,100 Oh, man, this is absolutely crazy. I mean, this is borderline reckless. 1167 01:05:12,340 --> 01:05:15,900 Don't you get it? You don't drive with your eyes, you drive with your heart. 1168 01:05:16,080 --> 01:05:17,920 This is just dumb. I can't see a thing. 1169 01:05:18,160 --> 01:05:22,040 You gotta feel the road. You gotta let it live inside you. 1170 01:05:22,280 --> 01:05:24,760 -Are you feeling anything now? -I'm feeling a little bit. 1171 01:05:25,000 --> 01:05:26,960 What do you feel? Tell me what you're feeling. 1172 01:05:27,200 --> 01:05:30,160 I'm feeling the worn wood of the steering wheel. 1173 01:05:30,200 --> 01:05:32,320 -Yeah. What else? -A little bit of heat. 1174 01:05:32,360 --> 01:05:34,760 That's you and the car melded together. 1175 01:05:35,000 --> 01:05:38,440 Yeah, now I'm really feeling it. I feel like the car could drive itself. 1176 01:05:38,720 --> 01:05:40,520 I bet it could. Start her up. 1177 01:05:40,760 --> 01:05:42,720 I'm gonna start this car up. 1178 01:05:43,000 --> 01:05:45,200 Attaboy. All right, son. 1179 01:05:45,240 --> 01:05:47,160 Drive. 1180 01:06:04,720 --> 01:06:07,080 I'm embarrassed. I really thought I could feel it. 1181 01:06:07,320 --> 01:06:10,440 You know what? We better hightail it out of here. Frank's gonna be pissed. 1182 01:06:10,720 --> 01:06:12,280 All right. 1183 01:06:12,360 --> 01:06:14,920 No, no, Ricky. No blindfold. 1184 01:06:16,920 --> 01:06:19,320 Get this highway clean, come on. 1185 01:06:19,600 --> 01:06:22,320 I gotta tell you, Granny, this blows. 1186 01:06:22,360 --> 01:06:24,880 -How much more of this? -I don't know. 1187 01:06:25,120 --> 01:06:28,800 How many more times are you gonna toss me the radio in the bathtub? 1188 01:06:38,480 --> 01:06:40,640 -Hello? -Hey, man. You up? 1189 01:06:40,880 --> 01:06:43,240 -No. -Wake up. I need to talk to you. 1190 01:06:43,520 --> 01:06:45,120 I think your house is haunted. 1191 01:06:45,200 --> 01:06:47,360 Hey, come on. It's 2:30 in the morning. 1192 01:06:47,440 --> 01:06:51,120 I can't sleep in here, man. I'm scared. 1193 01:06:51,240 --> 01:06:53,920 Look, there's nothing to be scared of. It's a new house... 1194 01:06:54,160 --> 01:06:56,400 ...there's a lot of creaks and moans and groans in it. 1195 01:06:56,640 --> 01:07:00,520 -Put on-- You got your TV on? -Well, yeah, I fell asleep with it on. 1196 01:07:01,080 --> 01:07:04,480 -Turn on channel 42. -Forty-two? 1197 01:07:04,720 --> 01:07:08,000 -Look at them buns. -Well, that is a set of buns. 1198 01:07:08,360 --> 01:07:10,000 And down, and down, and-- 1199 01:07:10,240 --> 01:07:12,600 What's she doing exercising at 2:30 in the morning? 1200 01:07:12,840 --> 01:07:14,680 Oh, yeah, that's a really good point. 1201 01:07:14,920 --> 01:07:18,320 I don't know why I'm talking to you. Do you remember that I hate you? 1202 01:07:18,400 --> 01:07:21,000 Hey, man, you know what I was thinking? 1203 01:07:21,400 --> 01:07:23,800 -You're lucky. -I'm lucky? 1204 01:07:24,040 --> 01:07:25,920 -How so? -Well, check it out. 1205 01:07:26,160 --> 01:07:30,720 I'm sitting here in this enormous haunted mansion, can't sleep. 1206 01:07:30,960 --> 01:07:33,160 You're hanging out at your mom's. That's awesome. 1207 01:07:33,200 --> 01:07:37,360 -That's, like, the opposite of awesome. -Well, this is like a hotel room... 1208 01:07:37,400 --> 01:07:39,080 ...with someone else's junk in it. 1209 01:07:39,320 --> 01:07:43,600 Okay, yeah, well, that someone else's junk, that used to be my stuff. 1210 01:07:43,840 --> 01:07:47,360 I'm just having a hard time, man. I'm just calling up for some support. 1211 01:07:47,400 --> 01:07:50,520 Do you--? Do you know how crazy that sounds? 1212 01:07:50,800 --> 01:07:52,400 -Hey, one more thing. -Yeah? 1213 01:07:52,680 --> 01:07:57,040 When you have the stereo on at the same time as the TV... 1214 01:07:57,280 --> 01:07:59,240 ...how do you control the volume on the TV? 1215 01:07:59,480 --> 01:08:02,080 Why do you want to listen to the TV with the stereo on? 1216 01:08:02,320 --> 01:08:04,120 Because I like to party. 1217 01:08:04,360 --> 01:08:06,200 Why am I still talking to you? 1218 01:08:06,240 --> 01:08:08,240 Come on. We were doing good there, man. 1219 01:08:08,280 --> 01:08:10,520 I'm taking care of your house good. 1220 01:08:10,760 --> 01:08:14,040 I keep snapping back into it. It's like a trick you're pulling on me. 1221 01:08:14,280 --> 01:08:18,400 -All right. I'll talk to you tomorrow. -All right, man. Talk to you tomorrow. 1222 01:08:21,320 --> 01:08:23,280 Shit. 1223 01:08:23,560 --> 01:08:26,200 Get out. 1224 01:08:33,440 --> 01:08:35,160 Where did stock-car racing come from? 1225 01:08:35,200 --> 01:08:36,440 What? 1226 01:08:37,400 --> 01:08:40,720 -Hey, stop doing that. -How did stock-car racing get its start? 1227 01:08:40,960 --> 01:08:44,560 Bootleggers in Prohibition had to have cars fast enough to outrun the Feds... 1228 01:08:44,800 --> 01:08:47,520 -...then they started racing each other. -That's right. 1229 01:08:47,760 --> 01:08:50,920 If I was right, why'd you throw another bucket on me? 1230 01:08:51,160 --> 01:08:54,920 I filled up three. Now, there's nothing like driving to avoid jail. 1231 01:08:55,160 --> 01:08:58,680 Nothing hones your mind and your instincts like necessity. 1232 01:08:58,960 --> 01:09:02,200 So I taped a kilo of cocaine underneath the car and called the boys in blue. 1233 01:09:02,440 --> 01:09:05,200 Now, the way I figure it, you got about two minutes... 1234 01:09:05,440 --> 01:09:08,880 ...before they show up and you do five to 10. 1235 01:09:09,120 --> 01:09:12,920 So, what's it gonna be? Fear or prison? 1236 01:09:13,160 --> 01:09:16,360 -What the hell are you talking about? -Real simple, son. 1237 01:09:16,400 --> 01:09:17,680 Cops are coming. 1238 01:09:17,920 --> 01:09:23,040 There's a kilo of Colombian bam-bam under the car. Time to be a man. 1239 01:09:23,280 --> 01:09:27,200 -You got hair on your peaches or what? -You're not kidding, are you? Man. 1240 01:09:28,560 --> 01:09:30,600 You crazy creep! 1241 01:09:37,960 --> 01:09:39,920 Come on, son. What's it gonna be? 1242 01:09:40,240 --> 01:09:41,840 Speed or jail? 1243 01:09:51,440 --> 01:09:53,920 Grandpa, would you like to take us fishing... 1244 01:09:54,160 --> 01:09:57,440 ...and tell us life lessons and stories about your childhood? 1245 01:09:57,680 --> 01:09:59,000 I got a better idea. 1246 01:09:59,240 --> 01:10:02,040 Why don't you boys go dig a hole and I'll get another beer? 1247 01:10:02,280 --> 01:10:06,320 Someone didn't love you enough when you were little, did they? 1248 01:10:06,400 --> 01:10:09,320 Good call. Here, that's worth a nickel. 1249 01:10:09,360 --> 01:10:10,640 Tragic. 1250 01:10:17,320 --> 01:10:19,640 Son of a bitch, son of a bitch, son of a bitch. 1251 01:10:21,000 --> 01:10:22,960 Oh, man. Oh, man! 1252 01:10:25,840 --> 01:10:28,240 One-sixteen. One-sixteen! 1253 01:10:28,480 --> 01:10:30,880 I'm going fast again! 1254 01:10:50,680 --> 01:10:52,280 Pull over! Pull over! 1255 01:10:52,520 --> 01:10:56,320 Pull over? I'll pull over for you. How about this? 1256 01:11:31,400 --> 01:11:33,360 Where are you? 1257 01:11:37,040 --> 01:11:38,840 Gotcha. 1258 01:11:49,240 --> 01:11:51,080 "Feels good going fast, doesn't it? 1259 01:11:51,320 --> 01:11:56,240 By the way, don't try and snort these Lucky Charms. Reese." 1260 01:11:58,240 --> 01:11:59,760 Okay. 1261 01:12:00,880 --> 01:12:02,320 Okay. 1262 01:12:15,000 --> 01:12:16,280 There you go, little man. 1263 01:12:27,240 --> 01:12:28,560 Hey, Ricky! 1264 01:12:28,800 --> 01:12:30,240 How you doing? 1265 01:12:34,240 --> 01:12:38,200 -Oh, Nana, not my prison shank. -In the can. 1266 01:12:47,200 --> 01:12:50,000 There's your mother-flipping driving test. 1267 01:12:50,280 --> 01:12:53,120 Mr. Bobby, you are magnificent. 1268 01:12:55,000 --> 01:12:58,960 Down, Karen! Get down! Get down, Karen! 1269 01:12:59,240 --> 01:13:00,880 It's all right. It's gonna be okay. 1270 01:13:09,680 --> 01:13:13,200 Well, son, you are looking good behind that wheel. 1271 01:13:13,440 --> 01:13:17,240 Thanks, Daddy. I gotta tell you, I feel good. Heck, you know what? 1272 01:13:17,480 --> 01:13:20,200 Let's go out tonight, you know, the whole family. 1273 01:13:20,680 --> 01:13:23,640 I'm talking about sitting down, enjoying a gourmet meal... 1274 01:13:23,920 --> 01:13:26,200 ...at a place that's real special. 1275 01:13:26,280 --> 01:13:29,640 -Hi. Those plates are hot. Enjoy. -You got your own skillet. 1276 01:13:29,880 --> 01:13:32,320 -Be back to check on you in a minute. -Thank you. 1277 01:13:32,360 --> 01:13:34,680 Oh, gooder than grits. 1278 01:13:34,920 --> 01:13:36,320 Let us pray. 1279 01:13:38,200 --> 01:13:39,960 Dear Lord baby Jesus... 1280 01:13:40,200 --> 01:13:43,200 ...lying there in your little ghost manger... 1281 01:13:43,240 --> 01:13:46,720 ...just looking at your Baby Einstein developmental videos... 1282 01:13:46,960 --> 01:13:49,040 ...learning about shapes and colors and.... 1283 01:13:49,280 --> 01:13:51,560 We just have so much to be thankful for. 1284 01:13:51,800 --> 01:13:54,160 First off, my sons no longer act... 1285 01:13:54,200 --> 01:13:56,480 -...like retarded gangbangers. -Amen. 1286 01:13:56,760 --> 01:13:59,280 Also, I got my balls back behind the wheel of a car. 1287 01:13:59,320 --> 01:14:01,480 And most importantly, we thank you... 1288 01:14:01,760 --> 01:14:05,680 ...for bringing back our nasty, delinquent, pot-dealing daddy to us. 1289 01:14:05,920 --> 01:14:08,920 For he was lost, but now he is found. Amen. 1290 01:14:09,160 --> 01:14:11,320 -Amen. -Amen. 1291 01:14:11,560 --> 01:14:13,040 Son, that was lovely. 1292 01:14:13,280 --> 01:14:15,040 -What a lovely meal. -It sure is. 1293 01:14:15,280 --> 01:14:17,320 It certainly does look delicious. 1294 01:14:17,560 --> 01:14:20,640 I gotta tell you, this is about a damn perfect evening right now. 1295 01:14:20,880 --> 01:14:23,440 It is, isn't it? 1296 01:14:23,680 --> 01:14:25,600 You know what we should do? 1297 01:14:25,840 --> 01:14:28,840 Every week, we should come back to this Applebee's... 1298 01:14:29,080 --> 01:14:32,280 ...and sit at this table, and have a family meal. 1299 01:14:32,360 --> 01:14:34,840 -That's a great idea, Mama. -And order the same stuff. 1300 01:14:35,080 --> 01:14:37,960 -That would be great. -And I would be delighted, Reese... 1301 01:14:38,200 --> 01:14:42,280 ...if you would accompany me to ballroom dancing on Tuesday nights. 1302 01:14:42,600 --> 01:14:44,280 -Tuesday night? -It's a lot of fun. 1303 01:14:44,320 --> 01:14:47,120 -I think you'd have a good time. -How's everybody doing here? 1304 01:14:47,360 --> 01:14:50,320 -Dolly, it's so good. -Oh, it's really, really good. 1305 01:14:50,360 --> 01:14:54,880 You know, I just-- I hate to be a pain, darling... 1306 01:14:57,720 --> 01:15:00,400 ...but I asked for no onions on my Bourbon Steak. 1307 01:15:00,800 --> 01:15:02,920 I am so sorry. I thought you asked for onions-- 1308 01:15:03,160 --> 01:15:04,960 Okay, okay, maybe don't interrupt me. 1309 01:15:05,240 --> 01:15:08,280 -I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. -Yeah, well, I think you did mean to... 1310 01:15:08,360 --> 01:15:12,640 ...and I also think that you meant to put the damn onions on my steak. 1311 01:15:12,880 --> 01:15:14,560 -Okay, Reese. -Grandfather... 1312 01:15:14,800 --> 01:15:17,840 ...can't we resolve this conflict without anger? 1313 01:15:19,320 --> 01:15:22,400 -I'm a veteran and a diabetic! -Dad! 1314 01:15:23,040 --> 01:15:26,560 -Dad! Why are you doing this? -Applebee's has rats! 1315 01:15:26,800 --> 01:15:29,040 I found a whole rat in my Cobb salad! 1316 01:15:29,280 --> 01:15:30,480 Dad, where are you going? 1317 01:15:30,720 --> 01:15:32,960 Come on, frat boy, you wanna go? 1318 01:15:33,200 --> 01:15:36,520 -What's going on, man? -Ricky, let him go! 1319 01:15:36,760 --> 01:15:40,200 -Things were going good, weren't they? -That's exactly why I had to blow it up. 1320 01:15:40,480 --> 01:15:42,320 I don't know what organ or bone people have... 1321 01:15:42,560 --> 01:15:45,360 ...that makes them act right, but I was born without it. I'm no good. 1322 01:15:45,600 --> 01:15:50,120 All those races I won, that was for you, you know that? 1323 01:15:50,360 --> 01:15:55,040 I did just like you told me: "If you ain't first, you're last." 1324 01:15:55,280 --> 01:15:56,880 What the hell are you talking about? 1325 01:15:57,120 --> 01:15:59,680 What you told me that day at school for career day. 1326 01:16:01,560 --> 01:16:05,240 You came in and you said, "If you ain't first, you're last." 1327 01:16:06,960 --> 01:16:10,000 Oh, hell, Ricky, I was high when I said that. 1328 01:16:10,240 --> 01:16:11,880 That doesn't make any sense at all. 1329 01:16:12,160 --> 01:16:16,080 "You're first or last." You can be second, you can be third, fourth. 1330 01:16:16,320 --> 01:16:18,080 Hell, you can even be fifth. 1331 01:16:18,320 --> 01:16:22,800 What are you talking about? I lived my whole life based on that. 1332 01:16:23,320 --> 01:16:25,200 Well, now what the hell am I supposed to do? 1333 01:16:27,240 --> 01:16:30,480 Well, that's the million-dollar question, isn't it? 1334 01:16:34,200 --> 01:16:36,240 Good luck to you, son. 1335 01:16:37,160 --> 01:16:38,720 Hey, Dad! 1336 01:16:40,160 --> 01:16:41,480 Where are you going? 1337 01:16:42,480 --> 01:16:44,360 Does it matter? 1338 01:17:15,520 --> 01:17:16,280 Here we go. 1339 01:17:16,280 --> 01:17:16,880 Here we go. 1340 01:17:18,880 --> 01:17:20,240 Hey, don't bump me. 1341 01:17:21,520 --> 01:17:23,800 Oh, man, I'm flying. 1342 01:17:28,440 --> 01:17:31,320 Game over. Come on, reset. 1343 01:17:31,360 --> 01:17:34,160 Boy, you are a terrible driver, no? 1344 01:17:34,200 --> 01:17:36,080 How'd you get on a video game so fast? 1345 01:17:36,320 --> 01:17:39,960 Is your name, by chance, Ricky Bobby? 1346 01:17:40,200 --> 01:17:43,320 Hey, screw you, man! I got nothing because of you! 1347 01:17:46,200 --> 01:17:48,560 -I hate you! -Hey, Ricky. 1348 01:17:48,800 --> 01:17:51,840 I am on fire. I am on fire. 1349 01:17:52,560 --> 01:17:53,760 Susan? 1350 01:17:54,040 --> 01:17:56,920 And so then I got a marketing job with NASCAR. 1351 01:17:57,160 --> 01:18:00,120 -Really? -Yeah, it's great. It's great. 1352 01:18:00,360 --> 01:18:03,920 Well, gosh, you look fantastic. 1353 01:18:04,160 --> 01:18:07,480 -Thank you. -I mean, you've always looked good. 1354 01:18:08,560 --> 01:18:12,320 I mean, I'm just-- I'm happy for you. 1355 01:18:13,240 --> 01:18:14,520 Thank you. 1356 01:18:15,760 --> 01:18:17,360 But what about you? 1357 01:18:17,400 --> 01:18:19,560 How have you been? What have you been doing? 1358 01:18:19,800 --> 01:18:23,480 Well, they want me to race at Talladega next weekend, but I'm not gonna do it. 1359 01:18:23,760 --> 01:18:26,320 Because I'm done. I'm done with the racing, with driving. 1360 01:18:26,600 --> 01:18:29,360 -Why would you do that? -Because I've really moved on. 1361 01:18:29,480 --> 01:18:32,000 I've sent in my application to The Real World... 1362 01:18:32,240 --> 01:18:33,600 ...so I'm hoping to hear back. 1363 01:18:33,880 --> 01:18:37,360 I'm putting a lot of my eggs into that basket, the MTV basket. 1364 01:18:37,400 --> 01:18:40,760 I'm also thinking about getting a gun and dealing crack. 1365 01:18:41,000 --> 01:18:44,760 Being a crack dealer, but not like a mean crack dealer, but like a.... 1366 01:18:45,000 --> 01:18:47,120 You know, like a nice one. 1367 01:18:47,360 --> 01:18:49,360 Just kind of friendly, like, "Hey... 1368 01:18:49,400 --> 01:18:51,760 ...what's up, guys? You want some crack?" 1369 01:18:52,000 --> 01:18:55,320 I'm just waiting on those two things to kind of flesh themselves out. 1370 01:18:55,400 --> 01:18:56,360 You know what, Ricky? 1371 01:18:56,640 --> 01:19:00,560 I have kept my mouth shut for a really, really long time. 1372 01:19:00,840 --> 01:19:03,320 And I just don't think that I can keep it shut anymore. 1373 01:19:03,360 --> 01:19:06,280 I just have to tell you that I think you are making a big mistake. 1374 01:19:06,520 --> 01:19:08,280 -Really? -Yes. 1375 01:19:08,320 --> 01:19:11,880 Why is it that you always fall for people who leave you? 1376 01:19:12,200 --> 01:19:14,000 Have you noticed that? 1377 01:19:14,240 --> 01:19:19,320 Like Carley and your dad and your sponsors. 1378 01:19:19,600 --> 01:19:23,120 And you always have to prove yourself. Wh--? 1379 01:19:24,640 --> 01:19:27,360 Well, you gotta listen to me here, okay? 1380 01:19:27,400 --> 01:19:31,640 You gotta win to get love. Everyone knows that. 1381 01:19:31,920 --> 01:19:34,160 I mean, that's just life. 1382 01:19:37,120 --> 01:19:40,280 Look at Don Shula, legendary coach. 1383 01:19:40,320 --> 01:19:43,800 Look at that Asian guy who holds the worId record... 1384 01:19:44,040 --> 01:19:45,920 ...for eating all those hot dogs in a row. 1385 01:19:46,200 --> 01:19:49,800 Look at Rue McClanahan from The Golden Girls. 1386 01:19:50,720 --> 01:19:54,000 All three people, all great champions, all loved. 1387 01:19:54,280 --> 01:19:56,680 Do you wanna know why I think that you should race again? 1388 01:19:57,760 --> 01:19:59,000 Sure. Why? 1389 01:19:59,240 --> 01:20:03,320 Okay. It's because it's what you love, Ricky. 1390 01:20:03,880 --> 01:20:06,560 It is who you were born to be. 1391 01:20:06,840 --> 01:20:10,160 And here you sit, thinking. 1392 01:20:10,200 --> 01:20:15,280 Well, Ricky Bobby is not a thinker. Ricky Bobby is a driver. 1393 01:20:15,520 --> 01:20:17,920 He is a doer. And that's what you need to do. 1394 01:20:18,160 --> 01:20:19,960 You don't need to think, you need to drive. 1395 01:20:20,200 --> 01:20:24,000 You need speed. You need to go out there, and you need to rev your engine. 1396 01:20:24,240 --> 01:20:25,280 You need to fire it up. 1397 01:20:25,320 --> 01:20:28,160 You need to grab hold of the line between speed and chaos... 1398 01:20:28,200 --> 01:20:31,120 ...and you need to wrestle it to the ground like a demon cobra. 1399 01:20:31,360 --> 01:20:34,120 And then, when that fear rises up in your belly, you use it... 1400 01:20:34,360 --> 01:20:37,240 ...and you know that fear is powerful because it has been there... 1401 01:20:37,320 --> 01:20:41,320 ...for billions of years! And it is good, and you use it, and you ride it. 1402 01:20:41,600 --> 01:20:44,360 You ride it like a skeleton horse through the gates of hell... 1403 01:20:44,600 --> 01:20:46,160 ...and then you win! You win! 1404 01:20:46,200 --> 01:20:49,080 You don't win for anybody else, you win for you. You know why? 1405 01:20:49,320 --> 01:20:51,400 Because a man takes what he wants, he takes it all. 1406 01:20:51,640 --> 01:20:54,200 And you're a man, aren't you? Aren't you? 1407 01:20:55,320 --> 01:20:57,240 Susan, I've never heard you talk like that. 1408 01:21:00,720 --> 01:21:02,640 Are we about to get it on? 1409 01:21:02,880 --> 01:21:05,600 Because I'm as hard as a diamond in an ice storm right now. 1410 01:21:09,360 --> 01:21:11,360 -This is awesome. -Yes, it is. 1411 01:21:11,600 --> 01:21:14,520 -Are you climbing on the table now? -Yes, sir. 1412 01:21:20,080 --> 01:21:22,400 I can't believe this. 1413 01:21:22,640 --> 01:21:28,400 This is like that Whitesnake video where the girI crawIs on.... 1414 01:21:28,640 --> 01:21:31,480 Yeah. Just like that. What's her name? 1415 01:21:31,720 --> 01:21:33,800 Tawny Kitaen. She's really good. 1416 01:21:34,040 --> 01:21:35,960 -She's great. -She's fantastic. 1417 01:21:37,240 --> 01:21:38,680 Everyone, turn away. 1418 01:21:38,920 --> 01:21:42,960 Things are gonna get crazy. We're gonna make animal noises. 1419 01:22:18,280 --> 01:22:20,400 -Looks good, damn good. -Yeah. That's good, guys. 1420 01:22:20,680 --> 01:22:23,360 Yeah, Ricky, it's good to be back. 1421 01:22:23,440 --> 01:22:25,200 -Talladega. -Talladega. 1422 01:22:25,400 --> 01:22:27,360 I missed you dudes. 1423 01:22:27,640 --> 01:22:28,880 Even you too, Glenn. 1424 01:22:30,640 --> 01:22:35,680 I didn't have a whole lot of money left, but what I did I put into the car. 1425 01:22:35,920 --> 01:22:38,800 We got some lower-end sponsors, so it's nothing to shout about... 1426 01:22:39,040 --> 01:22:41,240 ...but at least we got something to run in. 1427 01:22:41,400 --> 01:22:42,720 Let's see what we got, guys. 1428 01:22:44,280 --> 01:22:47,280 What are we looking at? "Julio's thongs for men"? 1429 01:22:47,320 --> 01:22:49,480 Come on, what kind of dude wears a thong? 1430 01:22:49,720 --> 01:22:51,720 Yeah, that's messed up. 1431 01:22:52,160 --> 01:22:53,280 Perverts, you know? 1432 01:22:54,960 --> 01:22:56,280 It's not the best car, but it'll move. 1433 01:22:57,720 --> 01:23:01,280 Hold on, now, baby. Let's just see what this thing's got under the hood. 1434 01:23:03,280 --> 01:23:06,120 -There she is. -Looks like the Pep Boys threw up. 1435 01:23:06,360 --> 01:23:08,120 -Damn. -Like I said, work in progress. 1436 01:23:08,360 --> 01:23:11,920 All right, I tell you what we gotta do. Since we got no corporate money... 1437 01:23:12,160 --> 01:23:13,960 ...we have to build this engine ourselves. 1438 01:23:14,200 --> 01:23:18,200 I want you to hit up every independent driver out there for spare parts. 1439 01:23:18,440 --> 01:23:20,360 Yeah, Lucius, that's crazy. 1440 01:23:20,600 --> 01:23:23,920 Well, crazy is all we got right now, okay? So do it. 1441 01:23:24,200 --> 01:23:25,240 Now, where you going? 1442 01:23:25,480 --> 01:23:27,760 I wanna tell Gerard Depardieu we're coming for him. 1443 01:23:28,040 --> 01:23:30,600 There you go, baby. Give him hell. 1444 01:23:30,880 --> 01:23:34,200 Get this engine built. Get it built. 1445 01:23:40,600 --> 01:23:42,480 I have not finished. 1446 01:23:50,360 --> 01:23:54,200 Monsieur Girard, Ricky Bobby is here to see you. 1447 01:23:54,240 --> 01:23:58,280 This is the one I was talking about, Ricky Bobby. 1448 01:23:59,480 --> 01:24:02,000 Thank you, Bacco. Go. 1449 01:24:02,720 --> 01:24:05,080 You're a tough man to find. You know that, buster? 1450 01:24:05,320 --> 01:24:07,840 I prefer solitude the day before a race. 1451 01:24:08,080 --> 01:24:11,040 I am being so incredibly rude, Monsieur Bobby. 1452 01:24:11,280 --> 01:24:13,600 Let me introduce you to my lunch guests. 1453 01:24:13,840 --> 01:24:17,160 This is my dear old friend EIvis Costello. 1454 01:24:17,200 --> 01:24:21,120 Delightful to meet you, Mr. Robert. I thought you were dead. 1455 01:24:21,640 --> 01:24:27,840 And next to him is hip-hop artist, poet and my brother-in-law, Mos Def. 1456 01:24:28,080 --> 01:24:30,720 I like your driving style. I'm more of a Tony Stewart man... 1457 01:24:31,000 --> 01:24:32,400 ...number 20 car, myself. 1458 01:24:32,680 --> 01:24:34,640 How he gets into those straightaways. 1459 01:24:34,920 --> 01:24:36,320 Gets it in the paint. Get her done! 1460 01:24:36,600 --> 01:24:39,320 And across from Monsieur Def... 1461 01:24:40,360 --> 01:24:41,640 ...is Breeze. 1462 01:24:41,880 --> 01:24:45,040 Hey. You're Breeze or you're Breeze? Which one of you is Breeze? 1463 01:24:45,280 --> 01:24:47,640 Together we are Breeze. 1464 01:24:47,880 --> 01:24:51,600 They are like twins, born from different wombs. 1465 01:24:52,200 --> 01:24:53,480 -Right. -They are God's most... 1466 01:24:53,720 --> 01:24:56,000 ...beautiful mistake. 1467 01:24:56,320 --> 01:24:59,840 They do everything together. Everything. 1468 01:25:00,080 --> 01:25:02,320 They read the same books. 1469 01:25:02,560 --> 01:25:06,360 They do Pilates together. 1470 01:25:07,400 --> 01:25:09,800 They walk, talk, sleep... 1471 01:25:10,240 --> 01:25:11,960 ...even go make toilet. 1472 01:25:12,200 --> 01:25:14,120 Okay, you're starting to creep me out, man. 1473 01:25:14,360 --> 01:25:15,840 A single plop. 1474 01:25:16,080 --> 01:25:17,640 One single plop. 1475 01:25:19,480 --> 01:25:21,240 I don't need to hear about doing a toilet. 1476 01:25:21,480 --> 01:25:23,000 You want more examples? 1477 01:25:23,240 --> 01:25:26,200 -No, you listed like 8000. -Less than that. 1478 01:25:26,440 --> 01:25:28,280 -It's none of my business. -More like... 1479 01:25:28,520 --> 01:25:30,280 ...I don't know, between five and 10. 1480 01:25:30,320 --> 01:25:32,440 Look, I need to talk to you. 1481 01:25:32,840 --> 01:25:34,320 Walk with me, Ricky Bobby. 1482 01:25:34,560 --> 01:25:36,800 -You have a good lunch. -Take care, man. 1483 01:25:37,480 --> 01:25:39,600 -Goodbye, Ricky. -Goodbye. 1484 01:25:39,880 --> 01:25:42,680 Holding hands with a man makes me terribly uncomfortable. 1485 01:25:42,920 --> 01:25:46,000 It is a sign of friendship in many countries. 1486 01:25:46,280 --> 01:25:47,920 Well, not in ours. 1487 01:25:48,160 --> 01:25:50,720 There's nothing sexual about it. 1488 01:25:50,960 --> 01:25:53,240 Please don't be worried at the fact I have an erection. 1489 01:25:53,480 --> 01:25:56,240 -It has nothing to do with you. -Hey, come on. 1490 01:25:56,480 --> 01:26:01,320 Look. Here's the deal. I came here to tell you one thing. 1491 01:26:01,360 --> 01:26:04,240 All right? Tomorrow, I'm coming for you. 1492 01:26:04,280 --> 01:26:07,320 Do you know why I came to America, Ricky Bobby? 1493 01:26:08,080 --> 01:26:11,200 Public schools, health-care system, giant water parks. 1494 01:26:11,280 --> 01:26:13,520 I mean, the same reason anyone comes to America. 1495 01:26:14,920 --> 01:26:18,200 I came here for you to beat me. 1496 01:26:18,760 --> 01:26:21,800 -What the hell are you talking about? -My husband, Gregory, and I... 1497 01:26:22,040 --> 01:26:25,800 ...wish only for that which every other couple wishes for: 1498 01:26:26,040 --> 01:26:29,960 To tame Komodo dragons in Sri Lanka... 1499 01:26:30,200 --> 01:26:33,320 ...and teach them to perform Hamlet. 1500 01:26:33,360 --> 01:26:35,000 But before I can do that.... 1501 01:26:35,240 --> 01:26:37,720 -That's dumb. -It's not dumb. 1502 01:26:37,960 --> 01:26:39,760 -It is dumb. -Why is it dumb? 1503 01:26:40,000 --> 01:26:41,920 -I don't know. -But before I can do that... 1504 01:26:42,160 --> 01:26:46,360 ...I must be beaten by a driver who's truly better than me. 1505 01:26:46,680 --> 01:26:48,920 So you're gonna lose to me on purpose? 1506 01:26:49,200 --> 01:26:50,840 -No. -No? 1507 01:26:51,080 --> 01:26:52,240 No! 1508 01:26:53,360 --> 01:26:56,080 I will battle you with the entirety of my heart. 1509 01:26:56,320 --> 01:26:58,120 And you will probably lose. 1510 01:26:58,720 --> 01:27:03,120 But maybe, just maybe... 1511 01:27:03,760 --> 01:27:06,120 ...you might challenge me. 1512 01:27:06,360 --> 01:27:07,840 God needs the devil. 1513 01:27:08,080 --> 01:27:10,960 The Beatles needed the Rolling Stones. 1514 01:27:11,200 --> 01:27:14,560 Even Diane Sawyer needed Katie Couric. 1515 01:27:15,840 --> 01:27:18,560 Will you be my Katie Couric? 1516 01:27:21,080 --> 01:27:23,280 I feel like I'm in Highlander. 1517 01:27:26,440 --> 01:27:28,000 What's the Highlander? 1518 01:27:28,280 --> 01:27:29,320 It's a movie. 1519 01:27:29,560 --> 01:27:31,400 -Any good? -Very good. 1520 01:27:31,640 --> 01:27:33,560 -It won the Academy Award. -Oh, for what? 1521 01:27:33,800 --> 01:27:35,400 For best movie ever made. 1522 01:27:35,640 --> 01:27:38,760 I just want you to know I came here today to tell you one thing. 1523 01:27:39,000 --> 01:27:41,800 That come race time tomorrow, I'm coming for you, all right? 1524 01:27:42,760 --> 01:27:44,920 -May God be with you. -Yeah. 1525 01:27:45,160 --> 01:27:48,240 Because although today I am friendly... 1526 01:27:49,240 --> 01:27:53,760 ...tomorrow will be war! 1527 01:27:54,800 --> 01:27:55,840 All right. 1528 01:28:01,120 --> 01:28:04,680 Ladies and gentlemen, pull up a chair, drop the kids off with their aunt... 1529 01:28:04,920 --> 01:28:07,680 ...and take the phone off the hook because it's race day here... 1530 01:28:07,920 --> 01:28:10,080 ...at the Talladega Superspeedway. 1531 01:28:20,320 --> 01:28:22,280 Hey, guys. 1532 01:28:24,720 --> 01:28:26,640 -Why so down? -Ricky... 1533 01:28:26,880 --> 01:28:29,280 ...we were up all night working on the car. 1534 01:28:29,560 --> 01:28:31,600 And then something happened. There was a fire. 1535 01:28:31,880 --> 01:28:33,320 Did you say "fire"? 1536 01:28:33,360 --> 01:28:34,880 Glenn is dead, Ricky. 1537 01:28:36,000 --> 01:28:39,280 I mean, he died last night in my arms... 1538 01:28:39,320 --> 01:28:40,960 -...as I held him. -Oh, man. 1539 01:28:41,200 --> 01:28:43,760 He was so scared, because you know how little he is. 1540 01:28:44,000 --> 01:28:46,280 And death was coming for him, and he stood there... 1541 01:28:46,320 --> 01:28:50,000 ...and with a tear coming out his eyes, he said, "Tell Ricky, win for me." 1542 01:28:50,240 --> 01:28:52,920 That's all that little bastard wanted, was for you to win. 1543 01:28:53,160 --> 01:28:54,280 I wish you could've seen him. 1544 01:28:54,520 --> 01:28:57,200 I wish you could've felt his little heart fluttering. 1545 01:28:57,280 --> 01:28:58,720 Sweet Jesus. 1546 01:28:59,240 --> 01:29:01,240 Poor Glenn. 1547 01:29:03,360 --> 01:29:06,360 Hey, what the hell, man. Hey, Glenn. Glenn! 1548 01:29:08,680 --> 01:29:12,120 -I see you. -Glenn, what did I say? 1549 01:29:12,360 --> 01:29:14,880 -I said, "Wait till after the race." -Was he crying? 1550 01:29:15,120 --> 01:29:18,480 I'm sorry, Ricky. We were just trying to give you a little extra motivation. 1551 01:29:18,720 --> 01:29:21,520 Well, that is just sick, guys. 1552 01:29:21,760 --> 01:29:24,720 It's okay, Susie. I appreciate it, guys. 1553 01:29:24,960 --> 01:29:26,360 Just trying to help out... 1554 01:29:26,440 --> 01:29:29,320 ...even though it was weird and perverse. 1555 01:29:29,360 --> 01:29:31,800 They're just trying to help, Ricky. We're a team here. 1556 01:29:32,080 --> 01:29:34,320 -I appreciate it. -Let's see what's under the hood. 1557 01:29:34,400 --> 01:29:36,520 All right, let's have a look. 1558 01:29:42,280 --> 01:29:45,480 Hot dog. I mean, that's like looking up Bridgette Wilson-Sampras' skirt. 1559 01:29:45,720 --> 01:29:49,080 We were up all night working on it. Like I said, a lot of teams gave parts. 1560 01:29:49,320 --> 01:29:50,360 Nice work, guys. 1561 01:29:50,600 --> 01:29:54,280 And your sponsors weren't doing very much, so... 1562 01:29:54,320 --> 01:29:56,280 ...well, we repainted the car. 1563 01:29:56,520 --> 01:29:58,840 Well, take a look. Come on, guys. 1564 01:30:01,640 --> 01:30:04,920 Well, I like the cougar, but what company is "M.E."? 1565 01:30:05,200 --> 01:30:07,280 "Me" is you... 1566 01:30:07,560 --> 01:30:09,320 ...because it's just you out there. 1567 01:30:09,400 --> 01:30:12,360 We don't have any corporate sponsors. 1568 01:30:12,400 --> 01:30:14,640 We don't have any fancy team owners. 1569 01:30:14,880 --> 01:30:16,400 We have you... 1570 01:30:16,640 --> 01:30:19,520 ...and this car, and this cougar... 1571 01:30:19,760 --> 01:30:22,560 ...which symbolizes the fear that you have overcome. 1572 01:30:22,800 --> 01:30:24,560 It's all there for you. 1573 01:30:25,120 --> 01:30:30,240 Ricky, this car is like your Excalibur, the mighty sword King Arthur used... 1574 01:30:30,280 --> 01:30:32,760 ...to bring together the Knights of the Round Table... 1575 01:30:33,000 --> 01:30:37,720 ...until Lancelot betrayed him by laying with his queen, in the biblical sense. 1576 01:30:38,000 --> 01:30:39,520 Okay, Glenn. 1577 01:30:39,800 --> 01:30:42,760 Everything cool that Susan said, you wrecked it. 1578 01:30:44,520 --> 01:30:46,680 Guys, let's go win ourselves a race, all right? 1579 01:30:46,920 --> 01:30:49,000 -There you go. Yeah! -Right? 1580 01:30:49,240 --> 01:30:50,360 Let's get out there and win a race. 1581 01:30:50,360 --> 01:30:51,520 Let's get out there and win a race. 1582 01:31:05,720 --> 01:31:07,240 From Provence, France... 1583 01:31:07,280 --> 01:31:11,040 ...driver of the number 55 Perrier car... 1584 01:31:11,320 --> 01:31:14,280 ...Jean Girard. 1585 01:31:21,680 --> 01:31:24,200 From West River, North Carolina... 1586 01:31:24,280 --> 01:31:27,520 ...driver of the number 47 Old Spice car... 1587 01:31:27,760 --> 01:31:31,000 ... Cal Naughton Jr. 1588 01:31:40,120 --> 01:31:41,880 Hey, Carley. 1589 01:31:42,120 --> 01:31:45,640 -Hey, Ricky. -Carley! Hey, baby. 1590 01:31:47,560 --> 01:31:49,200 Baby. 1591 01:31:49,280 --> 01:31:51,240 Oh, hey, Ricky. 1592 01:31:51,480 --> 01:31:54,200 Hey, man. We missed you at the wedding. 1593 01:31:54,240 --> 01:31:57,200 -You missed me at the wedding? -Oh, man, it was so classy. 1594 01:31:57,440 --> 01:32:00,880 We had a Styx cover band and a nacho fountain. 1595 01:32:01,120 --> 01:32:04,080 Check it, it was a nacho fountain with six kinds of cheese on it. 1596 01:32:04,320 --> 01:32:07,400 -Liquid cheese? It cascaded down? -Yeah. 1597 01:32:07,640 --> 01:32:09,760 -Are you serious? -Amazing. Six different kinds. 1598 01:32:10,000 --> 01:32:11,440 Swiss, Havarti. What was the other one? 1599 01:32:11,680 --> 01:32:12,760 -Gouda. -Cheddar, Gouda. 1600 01:32:13,000 --> 01:32:14,920 That's the greatest thing I ever heard of. 1601 01:32:15,160 --> 01:32:17,000 Bean buffet in front of it. It was awesome. 1602 01:32:17,240 --> 01:32:20,360 Don't listen to him. And remember one thing, he's the competition. 1603 01:32:20,640 --> 01:32:23,440 You're not very focused right now. I need you to focus. 1604 01:32:23,680 --> 01:32:25,080 -Hey. -What? 1605 01:32:25,320 --> 01:32:27,440 -I'm the Magic Man now. Okay? -Yeah, I know. 1606 01:32:27,680 --> 01:32:30,640 So get ready for some tricks up these sleeves, all right? 1607 01:32:30,880 --> 01:32:32,200 Watch your buns, pal. 1608 01:32:32,240 --> 01:32:35,160 Baby, that is real good talk. Like we practiced last night. 1609 01:32:35,200 --> 01:32:37,680 I got something to tell you, you mangy piece of trash. 1610 01:32:37,920 --> 01:32:40,480 -What? -I'm sorry. 1611 01:32:42,680 --> 01:32:46,240 I took you for granted, Cal, and you were a really good friend to me... 1612 01:32:46,360 --> 01:32:49,600 ...and I never gave you your due. It was my fault. 1613 01:32:50,800 --> 01:32:54,240 I'll tell you the truth. I'm a little confused by your tactics. 1614 01:32:54,320 --> 01:32:57,280 -Tactics? -Yeah. I'm gonna keep acting tough... 1615 01:32:57,320 --> 01:32:59,520 ...until I figure it out. All right? 1616 01:33:00,280 --> 01:33:02,000 See you on the track. 1617 01:33:02,240 --> 01:33:04,480 -Come on, baby. -I love you. 1618 01:33:04,720 --> 01:33:06,320 I love you too. Come on. 1619 01:33:06,560 --> 01:33:08,520 Abracadabra, homes. 1620 01:33:12,640 --> 01:33:15,320 Hi, Bill Weber, along with Wally Dallenbach and Benny Parsons. 1621 01:33:15,560 --> 01:33:19,320 Thanks for having us. Today, Talladega, NASCAR's biggest track... 1622 01:33:19,360 --> 01:33:21,320 ...where the big concern is the big wreck. 1623 01:33:21,360 --> 01:33:23,480 And it's not if it happens, it's where and when. 1624 01:33:23,720 --> 01:33:26,880 We have a guy in the race today that'll probably cause it, Ricky Bobby. 1625 01:33:27,160 --> 01:33:29,240 Starting in the rear of the field, underfunded... 1626 01:33:29,320 --> 01:33:31,920 ...and the last time we saw him, he caused a big crash. 1627 01:33:32,200 --> 01:33:35,520 A lot of big stories and some big questions here at Talladega. 1628 01:33:48,320 --> 01:33:50,520 All right, go get them. 1629 01:34:04,560 --> 01:34:06,520 You must decide, Ricky Bobby. 1630 01:34:06,800 --> 01:34:10,360 Is it foolish pride, or is it greatness for you? 1631 01:34:18,560 --> 01:34:21,320 -Hey, Jarvis! -Go ahead, Cal. 1632 01:34:21,560 --> 01:34:24,680 If you slept with your best friend's wife... 1633 01:34:24,920 --> 01:34:28,520 -...why would he apologize to you? -Yeah, I know. That's weird. 1634 01:34:28,760 --> 01:34:32,440 That's what I'm saying. My head's all tied up like a pretzel. 1635 01:34:32,720 --> 01:34:34,200 I got a pretzel in my head. 1636 01:34:39,200 --> 01:34:40,520 -Ricky! -Come on, Dad! 1637 01:35:07,440 --> 01:35:09,280 I've got some big investors coming by. 1638 01:35:09,360 --> 01:35:11,360 These guys are big-money power players. 1639 01:35:11,400 --> 01:35:14,800 If things go right, they could have us owning half the cars in NASCAR. 1640 01:35:15,040 --> 01:35:16,760 So I want you-- No, I want you to behave. 1641 01:35:17,000 --> 01:35:18,280 -Oh, really? -Quiet. 1642 01:35:18,320 --> 01:35:20,680 Should I not tell them after 14 years of marriage... 1643 01:35:20,920 --> 01:35:22,960 ...you're still afraid to let me see you naked? 1644 01:35:23,200 --> 01:35:25,200 That's not a fear thing, it's a trust thing. 1645 01:35:25,680 --> 01:35:28,640 Hey! I was wondering where you guys got off to. 1646 01:35:28,880 --> 01:35:31,000 Baby, this is Ted Beamen from Halliburton. 1647 01:35:31,240 --> 01:35:33,280 -Nice to meet you. -Over here... 1648 01:35:33,320 --> 01:35:36,280 ...is Dick Tangfield from Dynacorp. 1649 01:35:36,320 --> 01:35:38,280 -Back there is.... -You have beautiful teeth. 1650 01:35:38,560 --> 01:35:40,360 Yes, he does. Get yourselves down there. 1651 01:35:40,440 --> 01:35:42,200 -Adorable. -Make yourselves at home... 1652 01:35:42,280 --> 01:35:45,760 -...grab something to eat, over here.... -Sweetheart, sweetheart. 1653 01:35:46,000 --> 01:35:47,360 You're a sweetie pie. 1654 01:35:47,600 --> 01:35:50,320 She's very affectionate. She suffered a recent loss-- 1655 01:35:50,560 --> 01:35:51,920 You taste good too. 1656 01:35:52,160 --> 01:35:54,000 --so she's a little emotional. 1657 01:35:54,240 --> 01:35:58,360 Okay, that's fine. Go ahead, find a seat. Can we get these guys something? 1658 01:35:58,640 --> 01:36:01,920 Jean Girard started from the pole and is out to a big lead. 1659 01:36:02,160 --> 01:36:04,360 As you know, Bill, he's been doing that all year. 1660 01:36:06,920 --> 01:36:11,480 Where are you, Ricky Bobby? Come face your destroyer! 1661 01:36:11,760 --> 01:36:14,320 "Come face your destroyer"? Listen to how I sound. 1662 01:36:14,360 --> 01:36:16,200 I sound like a massive prick. 1663 01:36:18,360 --> 01:36:20,040 Come on, baby! Yeah, that's it. 1664 01:36:20,320 --> 01:36:23,080 All right, Lucius. Time to let the cougar loose. 1665 01:36:25,440 --> 01:36:27,240 Here we go, boys. 1666 01:36:34,960 --> 01:36:37,400 Ricky Bobby, in the 6 2 car, on the move. 1667 01:36:37,640 --> 01:36:39,840 He's gone from 26th to 18th place. 1668 01:36:40,080 --> 01:36:43,640 Now let's go to John Hannafin, in the stands with a country-music legend. 1669 01:36:43,880 --> 01:36:47,120 Thank you, Sean. I'm here with one of the greatest country-music stars... 1670 01:36:47,200 --> 01:36:49,000 ...of all time, Kenny Rogers. 1671 01:36:49,280 --> 01:36:53,200 -What do you think of the race so far? -It's good. They're going really fast. 1672 01:36:53,280 --> 01:36:55,360 John, that's not Kenny Rogers. 1673 01:36:55,600 --> 01:36:58,200 In the song "The Gambler," you sang: 1674 01:36:58,240 --> 01:37:01,400 "You gotta know when to walk away and know when to run." 1675 01:37:01,640 --> 01:37:04,160 Should Ricky Bobby have stayed away from racing? 1676 01:37:04,200 --> 01:37:09,400 Mr. Bobby's very competitive. If he wants to race, he should race. 1677 01:37:09,840 --> 01:37:13,560 Well, this is John Hannafin with Kenny Rogers. And now back to you, Bill. 1678 01:37:13,800 --> 01:37:15,720 Well, that, of course, was not Kenny Rogers. 1679 01:37:15,960 --> 01:37:16,920 Not even close. 1680 01:37:18,000 --> 01:37:20,120 Ricky, you've got Brian Wavecrest... 1681 01:37:20,240 --> 01:37:22,680 ...the guy that replaced you at Dennit, dead ahead. 1682 01:37:22,960 --> 01:37:25,600 Bobby working really hard to pass the Wonder Bread car. 1683 01:37:25,840 --> 01:37:27,560 That's his old ride, of course. 1684 01:37:34,200 --> 01:37:36,520 We've passed the halfway mark with Ricky Bobby... 1685 01:37:36,760 --> 01:37:39,760 ...now three car lengths behind the leader. 1686 01:37:40,040 --> 01:37:43,240 Maybe subconsciously you slept with Ricky's wife... 1687 01:37:43,280 --> 01:37:45,120 ...as a way of getting back at him... 1688 01:37:45,360 --> 01:37:48,080 ...for making you come in second all those years. 1689 01:37:48,360 --> 01:37:52,360 I know one thing, Carley was definitely unconscious every time we had sex. 1690 01:37:54,200 --> 01:37:56,360 Lucius, I got Cal Naughton dead ahead of me. 1691 01:37:59,680 --> 01:38:02,400 Hey, Cal, you should pay attention. I think he's passing you. 1692 01:38:02,640 --> 01:38:04,840 Is Ricky passing me in my subconscious? 1693 01:38:05,080 --> 01:38:07,880 No, he's actually passing you. That's happening right now. 1694 01:38:08,320 --> 01:38:10,600 Go, Ricky! Go! 1695 01:38:10,840 --> 01:38:12,320 Let's go back to our John Hannafin... 1696 01:38:12,560 --> 01:38:16,120 ...who's in the stands with an NBA legend, Larry Bird. 1697 01:38:16,360 --> 01:38:18,680 Folks, I'm here with one of the great NBA superstars... 1698 01:38:18,920 --> 01:38:20,600 ...a real legend, Larry Bird. 1699 01:38:20,840 --> 01:38:24,040 I almost didn't recognize you with the sunglasses. What are you up to? 1700 01:38:24,280 --> 01:38:25,840 Come on, John, pay attention. 1701 01:38:26,120 --> 01:38:28,240 I'm concerned. He might have had a stroke. 1702 01:38:28,320 --> 01:38:30,880 Didn't Ricky Bobby used to drive for you? 1703 01:38:31,160 --> 01:38:33,080 -Oh, yeah, yeah. -He's doing quite well. 1704 01:38:33,320 --> 01:38:36,320 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Richard! 1705 01:38:37,160 --> 01:38:39,480 Get Cal Naughton's crew chief on the radio right away. 1706 01:38:41,280 --> 01:38:45,520 I believe you have some tickets waiting for me. My name's Reese Bobby. 1707 01:38:45,760 --> 01:38:47,240 Reese Bobby. 1708 01:38:48,760 --> 01:38:52,280 Mister, these tickets have been waiting for you for a long time. 1709 01:38:59,320 --> 01:39:01,640 Who needs two? I got tickets! 1710 01:39:01,920 --> 01:39:03,960 Tickets, right here, 60 bucks a pop. 1711 01:39:11,320 --> 01:39:15,520 All right, Girard, I found you. Now let's see where this goes. 1712 01:39:15,760 --> 01:39:17,360 Bobby's gotten around Naughton... 1713 01:39:17,400 --> 01:39:21,080 ...and now he's right behind Girard, but Girard's gonna block the track. 1714 01:39:21,320 --> 01:39:23,360 Man, he's scary good. 1715 01:39:23,400 --> 01:39:25,560 Ah, Ricky Bobby. 1716 01:39:25,800 --> 01:39:30,280 Now we shall dance, and yes, it will be a slow jam. 1717 01:39:36,600 --> 01:39:39,000 Damn it. Come on, man. 1718 01:39:41,880 --> 01:39:44,360 I was wrong about you, Ricky Bobby. 1719 01:39:44,400 --> 01:39:46,920 You are not the one to defeat me. 1720 01:39:50,720 --> 01:39:52,120 I can't get around him, man. 1721 01:39:56,240 --> 01:39:58,720 You tell Cal Naughton to take Ricky Bobby out. 1722 01:39:58,960 --> 01:40:02,960 Hey, Cal, listen. I hate to add to your tremendous moral confusion... 1723 01:40:03,200 --> 01:40:04,520 ...but I just heard from Dennit. 1724 01:40:04,760 --> 01:40:07,840 He said to take Ricky Bobby out of the race or you're fired, buddy. 1725 01:40:08,120 --> 01:40:09,360 What are you talking about? 1726 01:40:09,600 --> 01:40:13,240 Tell him if he doesn't do it, he's done. That's right, he'll be driving a tour bus. 1727 01:40:13,480 --> 01:40:18,000 Well, you tell Mr. Dennit that Ricky Bobby is my best friend. 1728 01:40:18,240 --> 01:40:21,000 -And it's Shake and Bake time. -Cal, I don't like the way... 1729 01:40:21,240 --> 01:40:24,560 -...you're talking out there. -Damn the torpedoes! 1730 01:40:32,800 --> 01:40:37,000 Come on, man, slingshot it. Slingshot, come on. 1731 01:40:37,240 --> 01:40:40,200 I can't believe it. If it isn't Mike Honcho himself. 1732 01:40:40,480 --> 01:40:41,920 Shake and Bake, buddy! 1733 01:40:42,160 --> 01:40:44,040 Shake it before you bake it. 1734 01:40:44,920 --> 01:40:48,440 Here I come. Slingshot engaged. 1735 01:40:51,520 --> 01:40:53,240 Yeah! 1736 01:40:53,960 --> 01:40:55,440 I love you, Cal! 1737 01:40:55,680 --> 01:40:58,440 -What are you doing? -Can't believe it. Now I've seen it all. 1738 01:40:58,680 --> 01:41:03,400 Cal Naughton from Dennit Racing just helped a rival driver pass a teammate. 1739 01:41:05,440 --> 01:41:09,680 Darrell, you tell Brian Wavecrest to take out Cal Naughton right now. 1740 01:41:09,920 --> 01:41:12,240 Right now, you do it. You do it! 1741 01:41:13,080 --> 01:41:14,200 Yes, sir. 1742 01:41:21,960 --> 01:41:25,040 And the 26 car just ran Naughton into the wall. 1743 01:41:31,080 --> 01:41:32,520 Oh, man. 1744 01:41:38,360 --> 01:41:40,360 Damn you, Wavecrest! 1745 01:41:43,960 --> 01:41:48,240 The entire field was in that wreck, and we've only got six laps to go. 1746 01:41:48,320 --> 01:41:51,320 Only Ricky Bobby and Jean Girard got away clean. 1747 01:41:53,800 --> 01:41:56,320 It's just Jean and Ricky. 1748 01:42:00,640 --> 01:42:05,320 And now the matador shall dance with the blind shoemaker. 1749 01:42:07,280 --> 01:42:10,440 Race officials have completed an extensive cleanup of the track. 1750 01:42:10,680 --> 01:42:12,280 We're ready to get back to racing. 1751 01:42:12,320 --> 01:42:15,800 The 200,000 fans are on their feet, and the green flag is in the air. 1752 01:42:25,200 --> 01:42:27,640 Bobby and Girard are dueling each other for the lead. 1753 01:42:27,920 --> 01:42:30,240 No one seems to have the edge. 1754 01:42:30,280 --> 01:42:32,400 Go, go, go! Come on, come on, go! 1755 01:42:32,640 --> 01:42:35,360 Ladies and gentlemen, this is the final lap. 1756 01:42:38,480 --> 01:42:42,320 By the way, Ricky, I watched the Highlander movie. 1757 01:42:42,560 --> 01:42:44,000 It was shit. 1758 01:42:45,840 --> 01:42:48,240 Hang on, baby Jesus, this is gonna get bumpy. 1759 01:43:15,080 --> 01:43:17,120 I've seen a lot of big crashes at Talladega... 1760 01:43:17,360 --> 01:43:19,200 ...but this is the longest one I've ever seen. 1761 01:43:19,440 --> 01:43:22,240 Let's take a quick commercial break and we'll be right back. 1762 01:43:22,280 --> 01:43:24,320 Hungry for both steak and shrimp? 1763 01:43:32,240 --> 01:43:36,040 Welcome back to Talladega, where the long one continues. 1764 01:43:43,360 --> 01:43:47,320 No, no! Jean Girard and Ricky Bobby have wrecked in the last lap... 1765 01:43:47,560 --> 01:43:49,280 ...on the straightaway. What a shame. 1766 01:43:49,520 --> 01:43:51,280 Oh, God. 1767 01:43:52,360 --> 01:43:56,280 It looks like neither Girard or Bobby will finish this race. 1768 01:43:56,320 --> 01:43:59,560 We'd like to thank you for joining us for NBC's coverage of NAS CAR. 1769 01:43:59,840 --> 01:44:02,840 Coming up next, it's Ice Dancing to the Hits of Motown. 1770 01:44:22,360 --> 01:44:25,240 Wait a minute, there's something going on on the track down there. 1771 01:44:25,480 --> 01:44:27,720 Oh, my God, they're racing each other on foot. 1772 01:44:27,960 --> 01:44:29,240 These men will not quit. 1773 01:44:29,480 --> 01:44:31,560 Go! Go! 1774 01:44:34,240 --> 01:44:36,880 Ricky, Ricky. He's going, he's going, he's going. Look! 1775 01:45:14,360 --> 01:45:16,160 He did it! 1776 01:45:22,760 --> 01:45:24,920 Well, I'll be damned. 1777 01:45:26,320 --> 01:45:28,280 Good for you, Ricky Bobby. 1778 01:45:34,320 --> 01:45:36,360 Yeah! Yeah! 1779 01:45:36,600 --> 01:45:38,000 Ricky Bobby wins! 1780 01:45:38,240 --> 01:45:40,720 You'll never see anything like that in a hundred lifetimes. 1781 01:45:41,000 --> 01:45:44,480 It was completely illegal and in no way will count, but that was something. 1782 01:45:44,760 --> 01:45:47,240 It was. That was really good. 1783 01:45:49,680 --> 01:45:53,360 Monsieur Bobby, by defeating me today... 1784 01:45:53,400 --> 01:45:55,960 ...you have set me free. 1785 01:45:56,200 --> 01:45:58,560 And for that, I thank you. 1786 01:46:00,600 --> 01:46:04,240 I will never shake your hand, ever. 1787 01:46:06,160 --> 01:46:08,320 But I will give you this. 1788 01:46:29,560 --> 01:46:34,360 Sir, you taste of America. 1789 01:46:35,680 --> 01:46:37,560 Thank you. 1790 01:46:42,640 --> 01:46:45,680 No, once was good. Once was good. 1791 01:46:50,240 --> 01:46:53,080 Boy, that Halliburton. Halliburton's taken off, haven't they? 1792 01:46:53,320 --> 01:46:54,600 Yeah, yeah, we're doing well. 1793 01:46:54,840 --> 01:46:57,520 Now there's some stock I'd like to get my hands on. 1794 01:46:57,760 --> 01:46:59,760 Ladies and gentlemen, NASCAR fans... 1795 01:47:00,000 --> 01:47:02,520 ...your eyes on Talladega's famed Victory Lane... 1796 01:47:02,760 --> 01:47:04,600 ...as we get ready for trophy time here... 1797 01:47:04,840 --> 01:47:08,000 ...following an exciting running of the Talladega 500. 1798 01:47:08,240 --> 01:47:10,360 First, a very brief explanation. 1799 01:47:10,600 --> 01:47:15,160 Because the drivers that finished first and second got out of their cars... 1800 01:47:15,200 --> 01:47:17,800 ...they have officially been disqualified. 1801 01:47:18,040 --> 01:47:21,720 So now the winner, he was third, he's now number one: 1802 01:47:22,360 --> 01:47:25,760 Cal Naughton Jr.! 1803 01:47:27,000 --> 01:47:28,600 Yeah, come on, guys! 1804 01:47:31,280 --> 01:47:34,280 -Give me that thing. -Cal, you're number one! 1805 01:47:34,320 --> 01:47:36,960 I've been waiting a long time for you to say my name, man. 1806 01:47:37,200 --> 01:47:40,200 I know it's a technicality, but I tell you what... 1807 01:47:40,440 --> 01:47:43,720 ...you try to take this away from me, I'll sock you in the face. 1808 01:47:43,960 --> 01:47:45,720 Ricky. 1809 01:47:45,960 --> 01:47:47,560 Give me that thing. 1810 01:47:50,400 --> 01:47:53,640 I can't believe it. I can't believe it! 1811 01:47:54,240 --> 01:47:57,200 -Cal! -Put me down. 1812 01:47:57,280 --> 01:47:58,960 I'm proud of you! 1813 01:47:59,240 --> 01:48:02,720 Get up here, man. No, you come up here. 1814 01:48:02,960 --> 01:48:04,240 You come up here. 1815 01:48:07,480 --> 01:48:09,920 -Cal Naughton! Cal Naughton. -Oh, my God. 1816 01:48:10,160 --> 01:48:13,040 For this to happen.... Am I dead, man? 1817 01:48:13,280 --> 01:48:15,440 You won the Talladega 500, all right? 1818 01:48:17,000 --> 01:48:18,440 I owe you an apology. 1819 01:48:19,000 --> 01:48:21,320 -Come on. -Man, I'm sorry about Carley. 1820 01:48:21,560 --> 01:48:24,440 She walked straight up to me and grabbed me in the crotch. 1821 01:48:24,680 --> 01:48:28,240 -It's like a tractor beam of hotness. -I know. 1822 01:48:29,480 --> 01:48:31,360 Shake and Bake? 1823 01:48:32,800 --> 01:48:35,960 No. Never again. 1824 01:48:37,960 --> 01:48:42,200 You're right. I was a total dick, man. 1825 01:48:42,440 --> 01:48:44,520 From now on... 1826 01:48:45,840 --> 01:48:47,960 ...it's Magic Man... 1827 01:48:48,200 --> 01:48:49,640 ...and EI Diablo. 1828 01:48:50,640 --> 01:48:52,280 What's "Diablo" mean? 1829 01:48:52,520 --> 01:48:53,760 It's like, you know.... 1830 01:48:54,000 --> 01:48:56,240 It's like Spanish for, like, a fighting chicken. 1831 01:48:56,280 --> 01:48:57,760 -That's awesome. -I know. 1832 01:48:58,000 --> 01:49:01,080 -With the claws. -With the claws and the beak. 1833 01:49:01,360 --> 01:49:02,640 Where did you think of that? 1834 01:49:02,880 --> 01:49:04,400 You just-- Sometimes things click. 1835 01:49:05,160 --> 01:49:07,480 -I love you, bro. -I love you too. 1836 01:49:09,160 --> 01:49:13,000 Oh, my God! Oh, my God, I can't believe it! 1837 01:49:13,840 --> 01:49:17,280 Excuse me, guys. Nice job. 1838 01:49:17,320 --> 01:49:18,760 Hey, Ricky. 1839 01:49:19,360 --> 01:49:20,520 Hey, Carley. 1840 01:49:20,760 --> 01:49:24,400 I've decided I can love you again. You're a winner. 1841 01:49:24,960 --> 01:49:27,320 -Yeah, I don't think so. -Really? 1842 01:49:27,360 --> 01:49:32,360 Are you prepared to walk away from these pearIs... 1843 01:49:33,680 --> 01:49:34,960 ...of delight? 1844 01:49:39,360 --> 01:49:43,120 Well.... Yeah, this is tough. How would it work? 1845 01:49:43,360 --> 01:49:45,040 -Would Cal move out? -Yep, gone. 1846 01:49:45,280 --> 01:49:47,200 Kids move back in? 1847 01:49:47,440 --> 01:49:50,560 -Can I just have a little refresher? -Of course, baby. 1848 01:49:52,240 --> 01:49:54,200 This is why you fell in love, don't forget. 1849 01:49:54,240 --> 01:49:56,560 Yeah, I'm in. I'm moving in right now. 1850 01:49:56,800 --> 01:49:58,680 I'll drive 100 miles an hour to your house. 1851 01:49:58,920 --> 01:50:00,600 -Our house. Our house. -Our house, yeah. 1852 01:50:00,840 --> 01:50:03,160 No, I'm not. Come on. It's gonna be awkward. 1853 01:50:03,200 --> 01:50:04,880 -Hey, baby. -Hey. 1854 01:50:07,120 --> 01:50:08,760 Wait a minute. 1855 01:50:09,120 --> 01:50:12,320 You are ready to walk away... 1856 01:50:12,360 --> 01:50:16,120 ...from FHM magazine's number seven hottest ass... 1857 01:50:16,360 --> 01:50:20,120 ...for the girI who forgets to get your dry cleaning? 1858 01:50:20,360 --> 01:50:21,680 -Yeah. -Yeah? 1859 01:50:22,080 --> 01:50:24,640 -Yeah. -Good luck, weirdoes. 1860 01:50:24,880 --> 01:50:26,600 -Carley, come back here. -Yes, Susie Q? 1861 01:50:26,840 --> 01:50:29,800 There's something I've wanted to tell you for a really long time. 1862 01:50:31,120 --> 01:50:34,320 Thank you. Maybe one together? 1863 01:50:35,240 --> 01:50:38,200 -Susie Q, are those real? -Yeah. 1864 01:50:38,440 --> 01:50:41,280 Well, girI, you got some game. 1865 01:50:43,240 --> 01:50:45,160 -We'll see you on down the road. -Yeah. 1866 01:50:45,200 --> 01:50:47,200 -You seen Cal? -He's somewhere around here. 1867 01:50:47,240 --> 01:50:50,280 Hey, Cal! Baby, I'm coming. Thanks, baby. 1868 01:50:51,280 --> 01:50:54,000 -Maybe one more? -Oh, boys. 1869 01:50:54,240 --> 01:50:55,640 -She's crazy. -Oh, thank you. 1870 01:50:56,040 --> 01:50:57,440 -You did good. -Thanks, Mama. 1871 01:50:57,680 --> 01:50:59,200 He's amazing. 1872 01:50:59,240 --> 01:51:01,320 That was one heck of a day, I gotta say. 1873 01:51:01,560 --> 01:51:04,320 That's some nice driving there, cowboy. 1874 01:51:04,560 --> 01:51:07,280 -Hey, Daddy. -Well, hello, Reese. 1875 01:51:07,520 --> 01:51:12,160 Well, if it isn't our old mangy, transient grandfather. 1876 01:51:12,520 --> 01:51:15,320 Well said, grandson. Take that as a compliment. 1877 01:51:15,400 --> 01:51:18,520 Hey, Ricky, let me ask you a question. 1878 01:51:21,520 --> 01:51:23,280 Who did you win that race for? 1879 01:51:23,360 --> 01:51:25,520 Well, I sure as hell didn't win it for you. 1880 01:51:26,160 --> 01:51:27,600 I like hearing that. 1881 01:51:28,680 --> 01:51:31,280 I guess if I really gotta think about it... 1882 01:51:31,720 --> 01:51:34,320 ...I just went out there and drove. 1883 01:51:34,560 --> 01:51:36,760 And knew that no matter what happened... 1884 01:51:37,360 --> 01:51:42,960 ...my boys, my mama, and my lady would love me. 1885 01:51:44,320 --> 01:51:47,320 Hi, I'm his lady, I'm Susan. 1886 01:51:47,360 --> 01:51:50,200 I painted the car, I.... We had sex. 1887 01:51:50,280 --> 01:51:52,200 -Is that right? -Yeah. 1888 01:51:52,440 --> 01:51:54,400 Well, I wish I could've been there for that. 1889 01:51:54,640 --> 01:51:57,160 Son, I'm proud of you. 1890 01:51:58,560 --> 01:52:03,080 Yep. Yeah, I think.... I guess things are... 1891 01:52:04,240 --> 01:52:06,200 ...just pretty much perfect right now. 1892 01:52:08,320 --> 01:52:10,280 It's making me a little itchy. 1893 01:52:12,120 --> 01:52:15,240 Well, what do you say we get thrown out of an Applebee's? 1894 01:52:15,480 --> 01:52:17,920 -That sound like a good idea? -You read my mind, son. 1895 01:52:18,160 --> 01:52:20,560 -You can cuss at Applebee's. -Everybody pile in. 1896 01:52:20,840 --> 01:52:22,560 How does one get thrown out of Applebee's? 1897 01:52:22,840 --> 01:52:25,240 -You're about to find out. -Okay. 1898 01:52:25,520 --> 01:52:27,440 Watch, the doors actually open. 1899 01:52:58,840 --> 01:53:01,240 -Hey, I'm Ricky Bobby. -And I'm Cal Naughton Jr. 1900 01:53:01,520 --> 01:53:04,840 We just want to take a moment to talk to you about snow blindness in cats. 1901 01:53:05,080 --> 01:53:07,200 It's affecting more and more cats every year. 1902 01:53:07,440 --> 01:53:10,120 And it scares the living shit out of us. 1903 01:53:11,280 --> 01:53:14,200 Ninety-eight percent of us will die at some point in our lives. 1904 01:53:14,240 --> 01:53:17,280 The darkness is creeping towards you, whether you know it or not. 1905 01:53:17,320 --> 01:53:19,040 A little planning can go a long way. 1906 01:53:19,280 --> 01:53:21,240 Listen, leaving your big old corpse behind... 1907 01:53:21,280 --> 01:53:23,360 ...for your loved ones to deal with ain't cool. 1908 01:53:23,600 --> 01:53:26,080 That's why you should call McCreedy Funeral Service. 1909 01:53:26,320 --> 01:53:30,080 McCreedy's. They'll find the hole and build the box. 1910 01:53:30,360 --> 01:53:33,640 Bodies that look so good, you're gonna wanna talk to it. 1911 01:53:37,280 --> 01:53:39,400 We like to have a lot of laughs on the racetrack... 1912 01:53:39,640 --> 01:53:41,960 ...but today we wanna talk about something serious: 1913 01:53:42,200 --> 01:53:46,200 Packs of stray dogs that control most of the major cities. 1914 01:53:48,360 --> 01:53:52,360 That's packs of wild, vicious dogs that are controlling most of.... 1915 01:53:52,400 --> 01:53:53,360 Sorry. 1916 01:53:54,000 --> 01:53:57,000 I like to picture Jesus like a mischievous badger. 1917 01:53:57,320 --> 01:53:59,320 Like a muscular trapeze artist. 1918 01:53:59,480 --> 01:54:02,880 Like a shapeshifter or a changeling, like that guy. 1919 01:54:03,120 --> 01:54:04,680 You ever hear of that TV show Manimal? 1920 01:54:05,000 --> 01:54:08,000 I like to think of Jesus as a figure skater... 1921 01:54:08,280 --> 01:54:09,880 ...who wears, like, a white outfit... 1922 01:54:10,120 --> 01:54:13,480 ...and he does interpretive ice dances of my life's journey. 1923 01:54:13,760 --> 01:54:15,680 Like a dirty old bum. 1924 01:54:15,920 --> 01:54:19,240 He comes up to me, I'm about to sock him one because he's a dirty old bum. 1925 01:54:19,280 --> 01:54:21,800 Then I said, "Wait a minute, I better not sock this guy. 1926 01:54:22,040 --> 01:54:23,360 Something special about him." 1927 01:54:23,440 --> 01:54:25,760 -Yeah, and it turns out it's Jesus. -Yeah. 1928 01:54:26,280 --> 01:54:28,240 One, two.... Oh, God. 1929 01:54:28,480 --> 01:54:31,920 -Not again! No go. No go! -It's stuck. It's stuck. 1930 01:54:32,360 --> 01:54:34,040 We got two knives in my leg. 1931 01:54:34,320 --> 01:54:37,480 I know, but one is a safety knife. One is a safety. 1932 01:54:39,840 --> 01:54:41,360 It's coming out. It's coming out. 1933 01:54:41,400 --> 01:54:42,920 I'm choking on my own spit. 1934 01:54:43,160 --> 01:54:45,640 It hurts so bad I'm choking on my own spit. 1935 01:54:45,960 --> 01:54:48,200 Good night, guys. I'm losing a lot of blood. 1936 01:54:48,440 --> 01:54:50,200 -Just relax, man. -Good night. 1937 01:54:50,440 --> 01:54:53,080 Ricky! Wake-- 1938 01:54:54,680 --> 01:54:59,720 Sometimes, when it's late at night, I dress up like Donna Summers. 1939 01:54:59,960 --> 01:55:04,520 You know, I put on the skirt and the four-inch heels, man. 1940 01:55:04,800 --> 01:55:06,200 I love it. 1941 01:55:15,880 --> 01:55:17,720 Sorry. Sorry. 1942 01:55:19,320 --> 01:55:22,560 I would be honored if you would let me sign your cast. 1943 01:55:22,800 --> 01:55:25,240 And I would be honored if you'd sign my balls. 1944 01:55:25,480 --> 01:55:28,040 -Oh, baby, that is a good one. -Hey, what are you doing? 1945 02:00:45,360 --> 02:00:48,840 "Don't touch a one of them. They're mine." 1946 02:00:51,360 --> 02:00:54,320 So, what do you think that story was about? 1947 02:00:54,560 --> 02:00:57,320 Doesn't the bear symbolize the old South... 1948 02:00:57,560 --> 02:01:01,680 ...and the new dog, the encroaching industrialization of the North? 1949 02:01:01,920 --> 02:01:06,800 Duh. But the question is, should the reader feel relief or sadness... 1950 02:01:07,040 --> 02:01:08,560 ...at the passing of the old South? 1951 02:01:08,800 --> 02:01:10,360 Well, how about both? 1952 02:01:10,600 --> 02:01:13,600 Oh, I get it. Moral ambiguity. 1953 02:01:13,880 --> 02:01:18,280 The hallmark of all early 20th-century American fiction. 1954 02:01:18,320 --> 02:01:21,360 -Great analysis, Walker. -Thank you. 161486